Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
Speaker 1: tip is to find a phrase to express your preferences tactfully,
Speaker 1: and teach your kids to do the same. Some folks
Speaker 1: grew up being told that if you don't have anything
Speaker 1: nice to say, don't say anything at all, and there
Speaker 1: is wisdom in this. Nobody wants to be around people
Speaker 1: who are always criticizing and complaining. If you aren't being
Speaker 1: asked for your feedback, and especially if there's nothing to
Speaker 1: be done to change a situation, it is often better
Speaker 1: to keep your opinions to yourself. But there are also
Speaker 1: times when you do have to say something, such as
Speaker 1: when you are asked directly what you think. In general,
Speaker 1: it is not a good idea to lie or to
Speaker 1: tell your kids that it is okay to lie. So
Speaker 1: that means that there is wisdom in having a phrase
Speaker 1: that allows you to express your opinion in a tactful way.
Speaker 1: I know of a family whose kids use the phrase
Speaker 1: it's not my favorite to acknowledge their dislikes. They are
Speaker 1: adventurous eaters, but like everyone, they have some foods that
Speaker 1: they don't love. If there serve foods they don't like,
Speaker 1: they will eat a reasonable amount without drama, But if
Speaker 1: they are asked about the food, they will say politely,
Speaker 1: it's not my favorite. If you ask their opinion of
Speaker 1: a book or movie or restaurant they don't love, you
Speaker 1: will get the same response, it's not my favorite. Experiences
Speaker 1: they don't like get the same description, how as performing
Speaker 1: in the class play being on stage isn't my favorite.
Speaker 1: They are not uncomfortable expressing their preferences, but the tone
Speaker 1: isn't negative or critical, and they don't insult something that
Speaker 1: someone else likes. They don't say ooh, that's gross about
Speaker 1: a food they don't like, and thus make people who
Speaker 1: do like that food feel bad. It's not my favorite
Speaker 1: is about their preferences, not a demand for the way
Speaker 1: the world has to be. I think this is a
Speaker 1: great phrase, and there are others that are similar. Sometimes
Speaker 1: people use it's not for me to get it the
Speaker 1: same thing. If you are asked about the decor of
Speaker 1: a new restaurant, you could comment on how cohesive it is,
Speaker 1: but acknowledge that the decor is not for you. When
Speaker 1: asked about a book or movie or TV show and
Speaker 1: a genre that would never appeal to you. It's not
Speaker 1: for me conveys all you need to same for an
Speaker 1: Instagram account you find annoying, a cookbook author you find pretentious,
Speaker 1: or Halloween decorations that strike you as tacky. If you
Speaker 1: are asked your opinion, it's not for me works just
Speaker 1: as well. Sometimes when I am asked point blank about
Speaker 1: things I don't want to get too into the details on,
Speaker 1: I'll say something like I haven't thought much about it.
Speaker 1: I can avoid expressing an opinion, which is sometimes the
Speaker 1: right call. If like me, you sometimes wish your kids
Speaker 1: would complain a little less, you could try modeling one
Speaker 1: of these phrases in front of them until they start
Speaker 1: to pick it up. It's not my favorite or it's
Speaker 1: not for me can be great in all kinds of circumstances.
Speaker 1: In many cases, your kids don't want to actively insult anyone.
Speaker 1: They just haven't thought about how people hear other phrases.
Speaker 1: They may find this a welcome tool, or if not,
Speaker 1: maybe they can at least be taught that tact goes
Speaker 1: a long way knowledge our own preferences while still respecting others.
Speaker 1: In the meantime, This is Laura, Thanks for listening and
Speaker 1: here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for
Speaker 1: listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback,
Speaker 1: you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.
Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts
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Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.