1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:09,360 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:16,600 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:21,200 Speaker 1: tip is to find a phrase to express your preferences tactfully, 4 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 1: and teach your kids to do the same. Some folks 5 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:29,400 Speaker 1: grew up being told that if you don't have anything 6 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:33,440 Speaker 1: nice to say, don't say anything at all, and there 7 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:37,160 Speaker 1: is wisdom in this. Nobody wants to be around people 8 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:41,840 Speaker 1: who are always criticizing and complaining. If you aren't being 9 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:45,920 Speaker 1: asked for your feedback, and especially if there's nothing to 10 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,640 Speaker 1: be done to change a situation, it is often better 11 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:55,360 Speaker 1: to keep your opinions to yourself. But there are also 12 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:59,080 Speaker 1: times when you do have to say something, such as 13 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:03,160 Speaker 1: when you are asked directly what you think. In general, 14 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,720 Speaker 1: it is not a good idea to lie or to 15 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:09,560 Speaker 1: tell your kids that it is okay to lie. So 16 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,280 Speaker 1: that means that there is wisdom in having a phrase 17 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:16,039 Speaker 1: that allows you to express your opinion in a tactful way. 18 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,040 Speaker 1: I know of a family whose kids use the phrase 19 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:25,560 Speaker 1: it's not my favorite to acknowledge their dislikes. They are 20 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 1: adventurous eaters, but like everyone, they have some foods that 21 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 1: they don't love. If there serve foods they don't like, 22 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:36,000 Speaker 1: they will eat a reasonable amount without drama, But if 23 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,920 Speaker 1: they are asked about the food, they will say politely, 24 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:42,880 Speaker 1: it's not my favorite. If you ask their opinion of 25 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,360 Speaker 1: a book or movie or restaurant they don't love, you 26 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 1: will get the same response, it's not my favorite. Experiences 27 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:53,120 Speaker 1: they don't like get the same description, how as performing 28 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:57,680 Speaker 1: in the class play being on stage isn't my favorite. 29 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: They are not uncomfortable expressing their preferences, but the tone 30 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 1: isn't negative or critical, and they don't insult something that 31 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:10,120 Speaker 1: someone else likes. They don't say ooh, that's gross about 32 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,560 Speaker 1: a food they don't like, and thus make people who 33 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:16,440 Speaker 1: do like that food feel bad. It's not my favorite 34 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 1: is about their preferences, not a demand for the way 35 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:23,920 Speaker 1: the world has to be. I think this is a 36 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:28,720 Speaker 1: great phrase, and there are others that are similar. Sometimes 37 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:31,800 Speaker 1: people use it's not for me to get it the 38 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:35,240 Speaker 1: same thing. If you are asked about the decor of 39 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,800 Speaker 1: a new restaurant, you could comment on how cohesive it is, 40 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:43,240 Speaker 1: but acknowledge that the decor is not for you. When 41 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,560 Speaker 1: asked about a book or movie or TV show and 42 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,920 Speaker 1: a genre that would never appeal to you. It's not 43 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:53,080 Speaker 1: for me conveys all you need to same for an 44 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:57,079 Speaker 1: Instagram account you find annoying, a cookbook author you find pretentious, 45 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 1: or Halloween decorations that strike you as tacky. If you 46 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:05,120 Speaker 1: are asked your opinion, it's not for me works just 47 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:09,440 Speaker 1: as well. Sometimes when I am asked point blank about 48 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,920 Speaker 1: things I don't want to get too into the details on, 49 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,640 Speaker 1: I'll say something like I haven't thought much about it. 50 00:03:15,639 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 1: I can avoid expressing an opinion, which is sometimes the 51 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:24,800 Speaker 1: right call. If like me, you sometimes wish your kids 52 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:28,160 Speaker 1: would complain a little less, you could try modeling one 53 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,800 Speaker 1: of these phrases in front of them until they start 54 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 1: to pick it up. It's not my favorite or it's 55 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 1: not for me can be great in all kinds of circumstances. 56 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:45,120 Speaker 1: In many cases, your kids don't want to actively insult anyone. 57 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 1: They just haven't thought about how people hear other phrases. 58 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:53,840 Speaker 1: They may find this a welcome tool, or if not, 59 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 1: maybe they can at least be taught that tact goes 60 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 1: a long way knowledge our own preferences while still respecting others. 61 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:10,280 Speaker 1: In the meantime, This is Laura, Thanks for listening and 62 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:20,279 Speaker 1: here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for 63 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:25,120 Speaker 1: listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, 64 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:34,719 Speaker 1: you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 65 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:38,920 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts 66 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:43,560 Speaker 1: from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or 67 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:45,440 Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.