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Speaker 1: I'm accused of rubbing boogers on door handles at work,

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Speaker 1: but I'm a innocent.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. That's what a booger rubbing snot nosed

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Speaker 2: kid would say. No, that's what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: You're just dripping your snot all over the place without

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Speaker 1: a care concern in the world.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I know where you hide your boogers on

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Speaker 2: the doorknob.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, but actually we know this booger doorknob snotter.

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Speaker 1: This story was submitted to our slash Okop show by

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Speaker 1: Icy Stress eight three one nine.

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Speaker 3: I love that Icy Stress. That icy hot is so stressful.

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Speaker 3: Stress for leaving maybe.

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Speaker 1: So thanks Icy for submitting a story, and all of

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Speaker 1: you can submit stories too at our slash Okop show.

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Speaker 2: Do it immediately, please, we want to read them or

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Speaker 2: I will die. I will die.

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Speaker 3: I live off your stories, the life force from them.

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Speaker 1: For some background, I twenty one female worked at a

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Speaker 1: very small T shirt business. Okay, I am the youngest

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Speaker 1: person there.

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Speaker 2: Ever.

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Speaker 1: Since I started working, someone has been rubbing some sweet

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Speaker 1: sloppy boogers all over the bathroom stalls ew, which is like, now,

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Speaker 1: I have Type one diabetes, so I go to the

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Speaker 1: bathroom quite often and have been accused of being the Boogeyman.

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Speaker 2: That's awful. That's a funny name, though, boogeyman.

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Speaker 1: Literally because she has to use the bathroom because she

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Speaker 1: has Type one diabetes.

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Speaker 2: And they're just like, it's you.

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Speaker 3: I mean suspicion. I mean, like, who is spending the

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Speaker 3: most time in the bathroom?

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Speaker 1: How long are they take a freaking snotty snobber all

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Speaker 1: over all.

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Speaker 2: The doorknobs, That's the question. I don't know. Maybe under

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Speaker 2: fat you can just not rocket all over these like

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Speaker 2: Spider Man spraying his web. You know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: Because I am the youngest, and because I go to

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Speaker 1: the bathroom so often, I'm being labeled.

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Speaker 2: As such boogey monster.

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Speaker 1: I've tried to explain my case, even clean the stalls

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Speaker 1: before I leave.

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Speaker 3: Geez see, say, if you're cleaning the stalls, I think

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Speaker 3: that's admitting fault.

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Speaker 2: Interesting, but still to no use.

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Speaker 1: I've been trying to figure out who it is to

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Speaker 1: prove my innocence, but no luck yet. The worst part

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Speaker 1: is that I can hear people calling me things like Booker, baby, boogeyman,

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Speaker 1: and snot monster all the time.

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Speaker 2: I thought snopmuster was pretty funny. Oh Pee, I feel

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Speaker 2: so bad for you.

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Speaker 1: I need help clearing my name, but no one believes me.

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Speaker 1: Whoever they are, I'm sure they're getting a kick out

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Speaker 1: of not being the boogeyman.

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Speaker 3: I think there is something you can do that's illegal,

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Speaker 3: but at least what you will know. Set up a

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Speaker 3: goat pro in the bathroom. Just leave it running for

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Speaker 3: as long as you can, and then get it later

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Speaker 3: and point it in the direction of where the snot

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Speaker 3: is most accumulating.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, if you do it where you can't

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Speaker 1: see anyone in the like like for instance, the view

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Speaker 1: of the stall, where it's just on the side you

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Speaker 1: see the person, Like, I've got to be illegal.

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Speaker 3: Still, Yeah, I think putting cameras in the bathroom probably illegal,

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Speaker 3: but at least you'll know.

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Speaker 2: Who's done it.

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Speaker 3: That's right, that's right. You know that feeling inside, feeling inside,

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Speaker 3: and that's all that matters, you know.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, you do that, and then you just like

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Speaker 1: course them into the why you say, I have the tapes,

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Speaker 1: I have the video of you being a booger monster,

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Speaker 1: And then the.

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Speaker 3: Thing is like, I mean, you could use it as blackmail,

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Speaker 3: but I feel like, really what OPI wants to clear

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Speaker 3: their name, which would clear their name.

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Speaker 2: This is what you do? I know what you do?

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Speaker 3: You take the video, release it anonymously online. Is it

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Speaker 3: created like a new like Google account, Email it to

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Speaker 3: the entire office Wow, boogey man, and then the title

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Speaker 3: the subject of the email boogeyman cot and then just

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Speaker 3: the video.

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Speaker 2: Not me your name maybe not that part.

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Speaker 1: No, do that, that's the that's the most surefirewarm for

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Speaker 1: them to not suspect you.

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Speaker 2: I promise this is good advice. But you know what

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Speaker 2: else is good advice?

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Speaker 3: Sam, Anything that you submit to our slash okop show,

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Speaker 3: our subreddit.

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Speaker 2: We want to hear those stories, so send them in.

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Speaker 2: Baby Today, I f'd up my girlfriend dumped me for

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Speaker 2: pretending to be weak. What.

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Speaker 1: Yes, this is apparently a phenomena that I was not

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Speaker 1: privy to.

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Speaker 2: Okay, let's hear it. But here's what it is.

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Speaker 1: So, when my girlfriend and I started dating, I discovered

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Speaker 1: early on that she could be quite physical, in the

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Speaker 1: sense that she likes to push, hold, or pinch. Even

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Speaker 1: bear in mind, she's not actually trying to hurt me,

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Speaker 1: she's just being playful with it. I found this adorable

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Speaker 1: and fun. So I played along, and here is the

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Speaker 1: f up. If she pushed me, I would act like

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Speaker 1: I have to balance myself, or if the better sofa

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Speaker 1: was nearby, I would fall onto it. If she held me,

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Speaker 1: I would pretend it would be difficult for me to

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Speaker 1: break out of her grip.

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Speaker 3: Is like feigning a little weakness here, You get the idea. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's just fun. It's just playing around.

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Speaker 2: Opie says.

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Speaker 1: I always assumed she knew that I was playing along

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Speaker 1: and not actually physically straining myself to compete with her strength.

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Speaker 2: This went on for months.

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Speaker 1: One day, we were chilling on the sofa watching a

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Speaker 1: show when I realized I was running late to meet

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Speaker 1: up with some friends. I told her I need to

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Speaker 1: shower and make a move. She decided this was a

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Speaker 1: good time to play fight. She sat on top of

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Speaker 1: me and pinned my arms under my knees. I played

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Speaker 1: along and struggled to move her off of me. A

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Speaker 1: little bit more wrestling took place, with me playing along

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Speaker 1: like I do a.

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Speaker 2: Little risky, frisky, you know how it goes.

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Speaker 1: Then I told her, hey, I really need to make

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Speaker 1: a move and get out of here. She was not

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Speaker 1: done and continued to hold and push me back onto

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Speaker 1: the sofa. Eventually, I decided to win this little fight

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Speaker 1: and get going with my day. So I got her

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Speaker 1: onto her back, held her hands near her head, and

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Speaker 1: leaned down to kiss her on the cheeks a few

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Speaker 1: times before letting her know that I am indeed running.

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Speaker 2: Like it's kind of cute. That's kind of cute, right, like.

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Speaker 1: A cute way to end this little like place, like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I do gotta go, so let me do that. She

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Speaker 1: tried to move her arms and could not. While I'm struggling,

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Speaker 1: she grunted out.

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Speaker 2: Why are you so strong today? Today?

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Speaker 1: To that, I laughed f up number two and looked

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Speaker 1: at her like she was joking. Her eyes went wide

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Speaker 1: with comprehension, and she stopped struggling. You were always this strong,

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Speaker 1: she asked, almost to herself.

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Speaker 2: I love this realization. She's like, wait, you were? And

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Speaker 2: this is like some worthy of this big revelation, like bruh.

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Speaker 3: I feel like my girlfriends in the past are always surprized.

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Speaker 3: When I'm like, okay, let me actually use some of

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Speaker 3: my strength, They're like, what where was this?

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Speaker 2: I'm like, bra, I've never had that issue.

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Speaker 1: I'll start with like being like, oh no, and then

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Speaker 1: I'll be like boom, gotcha.

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Speaker 3: I usually make it like seem pretty equal, except sometimes you.

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Speaker 2: Save it for the right occasion.

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Speaker 1: Yeah op, then says come on, babe, you really did

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Speaker 1: think we were of equal strength, did you.

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Speaker 2: I like the boyfriend's voice, I replied.

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Speaker 1: Then I went to take a shower, got ready, and

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Speaker 1: as I was heading out the door, I noticed.

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Speaker 2: She might have been a little bit glum.

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Speaker 1: Me being fully aware that I do not comprehend the

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Speaker 1: mystery of female emotions.

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Speaker 2: Facts bro facts Rah.

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Speaker 1: I had no clue why she was upset at that point,

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Speaker 1: I did all.

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Speaker 3: This show is sponsored by Better Help. We've seen some

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Speaker 3: wild stories with some crazy relationships, and although we love

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Speaker 3: reading these stories, I think sometimes it could be helpful

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Speaker 3: to have someone who can really help and talk through

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Speaker 3: these things exactly. Maybe asking strangers on the internet is

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Speaker 3: it the best.

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Speaker 2: Place to get advice? But it is a fun place.

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Speaker 2: It's a fun place.

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Speaker 1: But Sam, We've got a much better place, and that

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Speaker 1: is Better Help.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it's affordable therapy and it's entirely a line.

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Speaker 1: No questions ask oh yes, So, if you want to

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Speaker 2: Sam, are you hungry? Literally?

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Speaker 3: John, I am always starving. I could like swallow twenty

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Speaker 3: cucumbers right now.

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Speaker 1: Well, Sam, I know you love gobbling down them cucumbers.

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Speaker 1: But look, eating healthy doesn't mean you have to be sloppy, Samuel.

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Speaker 3: He's so easy we should cancel all grocery stores and

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Speaker 3: move them to.

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Speaker 2: And they send meals right to your door. Brouh, Of

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Speaker 2: course it is.

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Speaker 1: It's only fifteen minutes to make those delicious, delicious meals.

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Speaker 2: But Sam, that ain't all? How good? That not ab all?

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Speaker 1: Oh? We got more. I'm talking creamy darlic spinach for

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Speaker 1: conna ravioli.

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Speaker 3: I'm talking barbecue ribs, bottle o bac in, cheese, cranberry,

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Speaker 3: tom roasted chicken.

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Speaker 4: What's that place you've always wanted to try? While you're

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Speaker 4: there sharing plates with just one bite around second thought,

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Speaker 4: maybe not sharing.

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Speaker 2: It's that good when.

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Speaker 4: You're with Amax. It's not if it's going to happen,

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Speaker 4: but when American Express. Don't live life without it, I do.

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Speaker 2: I guessed.

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Speaker 1: I gave her a kiss and said I wouldn't be

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Speaker 1: gone for long and then I'll pick up her favorite

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Speaker 1: Chinese on the way back.

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Speaker 2: That r so nice. That's a nice move.

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Speaker 1: See, I assumed that she was upset about me not

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Speaker 1: spending the afternoon with her.

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Speaker 2: Probably a fair assumption. Yeah, probably worth.

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Speaker 1: Like sprinkling in a mention like, hey, I know we

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Speaker 1: won't be able to spend the afternoon together, but I

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Speaker 1: will get your favorite Chinese.

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Speaker 3: We'll be back, will hang out tonight, you know what

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Speaker 3: I mean? I might have That would have been my

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Speaker 3: one little tweek there probably to all that. She had

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Speaker 3: no reply ff number three. I should have spent some

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Speaker 3: time talking it through. I instead went on my merry

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Speaker 3: way and had a great effing time with my friends.

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Speaker 2: She spent the next few hours brewing, ooh.

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Speaker 3: Simmering, thinking about the lies of busy StrEG and of

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Speaker 3: course completely overthinking it.

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Speaker 2: I come home with the Chinese.

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Speaker 1: Food, and as soon as I put it down on

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Speaker 1: the dining table, she sprung out of the corner and

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Speaker 1: attacked me.

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Speaker 2: Whah.

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Speaker 1: It genuinely surprised me, and I reacted by bear hugging

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Speaker 1: her to my chest.

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Speaker 2: Oh, what's good, little baby, showing his strength once more.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, showing to strength once more. Right, probably not the

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Speaker 1: smartest move. She struggled with more force than she normally would,

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Speaker 1: and I just held her. I kept asking her what's wrong.

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Speaker 1: She gritted her teeth and said.

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Speaker 2: You look to me what this is ridiculous? This is ridiculous.

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Speaker 2: Eventually she stopped trying to fight me. And I let

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Speaker 2: her go.

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Speaker 1: She then told me she feels like I lied to

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Speaker 1: her about our fights, and that really all the time

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Speaker 1: I was laughing at her in my head as I

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Speaker 1: pretended she was actually winning.

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Speaker 2: She is way overthinking this one way overthinking. And also,

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Speaker 2: now who's making the assumptions? Yeah? Too much assuming is

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Speaker 2: going on over here.

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Speaker 1: I tried to take the conversation seriously, but come on,

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Speaker 1: how the f am I supposed to take this seriously?

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Speaker 2: Honestly, I agree.

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Speaker 1: So I may have been somewhat mocking flirting and generally

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Speaker 1: being a butt about the whole thing.

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Speaker 2: But here's the deal. A week later, she broke up

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Speaker 2: with me.

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Speaker 3: She broke up with him about this. Yeah, wow, that

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Speaker 3: is ridiculous.

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Speaker 2: He should have asked her the.

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Speaker 1: Question, like, do you think that me like not having

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Speaker 1: strength is like a bad lie?

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Speaker 2: It's not a bad lie.

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Speaker 3: I can't believe she thought that this dude was weaker

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Speaker 3: than her, especially like it seems like he's much larger. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's like, do you really think you're that strong?

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Speaker 1: She was flirt fighting, right, She knew that she was

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Speaker 1: flirt fighting, right, Yeah, So how did she not know

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Speaker 1: that he wasn't flirt fighting back.

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Speaker 3: It doesn't make any sense. Probably for the best, Opie

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Speaker 3: and he brought them. Yeah, he's being the perfect jem fude,

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Speaker 3: so you know what, never lets you down and play

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Speaker 3: fights with you and then dumpsy.

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Speaker 2: Hitting that sweet bread subscribe. Oh god, I love the

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Speaker 2: way just click slicked back, Just hit it, guys, all right,

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Speaker 2: see you next time.

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Speaker 4: You made it here. Finally checked out of office to

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Speaker 4: check into the sweet views of that place you've always

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Speaker 4: wanted to go, you know the one.

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Speaker 2: It's nice.

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Speaker 4: Even the kids like it.

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Speaker 2: This place is so cool and they never like it.

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Speaker 4: Mom, Can we go to the pool?

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Speaker 2: Look at that?

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Speaker 4: Not even asking for the Wi Fi. When you're with Amax,

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Speaker 4: it's not if it's going to happen, but when American Express.

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Speaker 4: Don't live life without it.