1 00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:06,040 Speaker 1: Uh, can I ask you about how you came to 2 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:10,840 Speaker 1: the realization that you were a woman? And I started 3 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:17,119 Speaker 1: taking inventory of myself and I discovered that I was 4 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:21,800 Speaker 1: a woman. My coworkers and I were going to a 5 00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:26,600 Speaker 1: Genera concert in San of the Casino, and this was 6 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:32,760 Speaker 1: my first outing full time as a woman. Here I 7 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:37,320 Speaker 1: am at a big event. They're gonna clock me, they're 8 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:40,400 Speaker 1: gonna name call me, they're gonna they're gonna like I'm 9 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:48,080 Speaker 1: going down. It's because of women like you that are 10 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:50,560 Speaker 1: open enough to share their stories that are going to 11 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 1: change the game in the transgender community. Hello everyone, and 12 00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: welcome to another episode of che He's in Chill. I'm 13 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 1: your host, Cheek E's, and I hope you all are 14 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:06,240 Speaker 1: having a great day. For today's episode, we're going to 15 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,800 Speaker 1: be opening up our hearts and our minds because we're 16 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:12,040 Speaker 1: going to be diving into a very important topic, one 17 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 1: that isn't talked about enough in my opinion, especially in 18 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:16,959 Speaker 1: the lent community. We're going to be joined by a 19 00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 1: transgender woman and here's some of the challenges she's faced 20 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,880 Speaker 1: throughout her life. I'm really looking forward to this conversation, 21 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,360 Speaker 1: so let's dive right into it. Guys. This is chick 22 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:39,440 Speaker 1: Eas and Chilly. Today's guest is Emiol. She is an actor, 23 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:44,080 Speaker 1: writer and a podcast host. He'd invite me over to 24 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 1: have dinner with his family. I knew he didn't tell 25 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:49,600 Speaker 1: them that it was transgender, and I didn't know if 26 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:53,920 Speaker 1: being new or not. Adam said, if this question ever 27 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 1: comes up, just her new podcast, Crumbs, is part of 28 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 1: you Know the family. I Heart Radio Network, and we 29 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,000 Speaker 1: will learn a little bit more about that a little later, 30 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:10,639 Speaker 1: but let's hear more about her story. Welcome, Emmy. It's 31 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 1: so good to hear from you. How are you, Hi, geez, 32 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:15,239 Speaker 1: thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited 33 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,080 Speaker 1: to be here, of course, No, I'm really excited. This 34 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:21,520 Speaker 1: is something that I'm very passionate about. I've had personal 35 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:25,440 Speaker 1: experiences and I have family members, and not only that, 36 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 1: I feel that it is a huge taboo still in 37 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,919 Speaker 1: our Latin community, and this is why I'm so excited 38 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,239 Speaker 1: to have a podcast where we're able to speak about 39 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,360 Speaker 1: anything and everything that we want. So, first of all, 40 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:41,399 Speaker 1: congratulations on your podcast Crumbs. Thank you, that's awesome. I'm 41 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 1: so so excited You're part of the family. So right here, Okay, 42 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,520 Speaker 1: so I can tell you're such a strong and positive force, 43 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:53,200 Speaker 1: but I know you probably weren't always like this. Can 44 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,639 Speaker 1: you share a little bit about your background. Where did 45 00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:59,440 Speaker 1: you grow up. I'm from San Diego, so California girl. 46 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,040 Speaker 1: My mom was fourteen but she had me. My dad 47 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,960 Speaker 1: was sixteen, and my parents were gang being troubles from 48 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:08,440 Speaker 1: rival gangs. No way, so interesting how they met, but 49 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,280 Speaker 1: here I am. You know, they hadn't when they were 50 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,520 Speaker 1: so young, and they didn't know what the heck they 51 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:17,639 Speaker 1: were doing. I had really no structure whatsoever. Growing up. 52 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:21,000 Speaker 1: I was allowed to do whatever I wanted because they 53 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 1: didn't know what they were doing. These were just kids 54 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:26,680 Speaker 1: having kids. Did you feel like you were growing up 55 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:29,120 Speaker 1: also with your parents like you felt like because my 56 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 1: mom was fifteen when she had me, so I sometimes 57 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:33,080 Speaker 1: even felt like I was her mom sometimes, you know. 58 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 1: So interesting, No, because my parents shortly after I was 59 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:41,560 Speaker 1: born became menting to drugs, and so that started their 60 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 1: cycle of like being in institutions. Actually, my dad kind 61 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:47,400 Speaker 1: of dipped out when I was one year old, so 62 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 1: it's pretty much my mom and me, and then my 63 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 1: grandmother stepped in to raise me. Okay, so you were 64 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:56,160 Speaker 1: raised by your grandmother, I was okay, And do you 65 00:03:56,160 --> 00:04:00,440 Speaker 1: have siblings, emmy, I do, yeah, and the eldest our 66 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:03,720 Speaker 1: age differences are seven, twelve and nineteen. But you know, 67 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,840 Speaker 1: my grandma stepped in to raise me. She provided me 68 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:10,760 Speaker 1: with stability, home love while my mom was out doing 69 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:13,880 Speaker 1: her stuff, doing her hustle. She was in and out. 70 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,280 Speaker 1: So I didn't really have a really strong relationship from 71 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 1: the beginning with my mom until I was a little 72 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:23,200 Speaker 1: bit older. Okay, I see, But thank goodness for your grandma. Yeah, 73 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 1: she was an amazing woman. And talking about her, did 74 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:30,120 Speaker 1: you were you open with her about what you felt like? 75 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:32,760 Speaker 1: How old were you when you started feeling did you 76 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 1: feel that way? You can? I ask you? Did you 77 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:36,799 Speaker 1: feel trapped in in another body? Like? Can you explain 78 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:39,880 Speaker 1: to me like your experience. Yeah, No, that wasn't my experience. 79 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 1: I didn't feel trapped in another body as a kid. 80 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,800 Speaker 1: I felt like it was very different. And maybe I 81 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 1: think because it was the eighties, things were so different. 82 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:51,560 Speaker 1: We didn't have the terminology that we have now. The 83 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:54,760 Speaker 1: lifestyle was completely different. Growing up in a very Mexican household, 84 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 1: that just wasn't something you talk about. Everyone knew that 85 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,000 Speaker 1: I was different. Okay, So I was born little blonde hair, 86 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,800 Speaker 1: blue eyed little boy who acted like a girl. I 87 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 1: was very feminine, and from the get go people knew 88 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:10,279 Speaker 1: that I was different. So my grandmother, she knew that 89 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: I was different. So she protected me a lot, especially 90 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:16,400 Speaker 1: from my aunts, because my aunts were like that, you 91 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:25,279 Speaker 1: don't nor whatever exactly, Like my grandmo was like, they 92 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,360 Speaker 1: can't know, they can't mean, because you know, I was 93 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,600 Speaker 1: her favorite. She was raising me and she protected me. 94 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,159 Speaker 1: That was kind of short lived because when I was 95 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:36,560 Speaker 1: seven years old, my grandmother disappeared. And what happened is 96 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 1: I was seven years old. I was taken to school, 97 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,160 Speaker 1: my grandmother was arrested. I was picked up by my 98 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:47,160 Speaker 1: paternal grandparents and they told me that my Mamilicia, my grandmother, 99 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:51,320 Speaker 1: was in jail with my mom, with my stepdad, with 100 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 1: my aunt, with the maid, with the mechanic. Everyone who 101 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:58,920 Speaker 1: was at the house that day got arrested. We had 102 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:02,960 Speaker 1: been under investigation for some time now. Cover story of 103 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:06,960 Speaker 1: the San Diego Union Tribune. Right this woman is arrested 104 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:11,159 Speaker 1: for trafficking four SENTI five pounds of cocaine across the border. 105 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:15,360 Speaker 1: One of her workers dot caught and away. She went, 106 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 1: so all the stability that I had with my grandmother. 107 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 1: You know, she gave me everything I ever wanted, material, possessions, love. 108 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:26,520 Speaker 1: I felt like it was unconditional love. And then that's 109 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,160 Speaker 1: when my mom stepped in. She had to. She had 110 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:32,479 Speaker 1: no choice because what was going to happen to me? So, 111 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:34,680 Speaker 1: you know, she did the best that she could, still 112 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:37,719 Speaker 1: using drugs, she got pregnant. She had my sister, Andrea, 113 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:42,400 Speaker 1: and she taught me how to make a bottle, how 114 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:46,440 Speaker 1: to change a diaper, said I'll be back. She didn't 115 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,239 Speaker 1: come back that night. The very next morning, my aunt 116 00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:52,640 Speaker 1: picked us up. My mom had been arrested hustling in 117 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:55,880 Speaker 1: her drug use, and my sister and I were separated. 118 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:58,039 Speaker 1: I went to live with my paternal grandparents. My sister 119 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:01,280 Speaker 1: went with an aunt. And from that moment, you start 120 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:04,359 Speaker 1: feeling like what is wrong with me? I knew I 121 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,479 Speaker 1: was different. I didn't like the same things that other 122 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:09,760 Speaker 1: boys liked. I got made fun of, you know, like 123 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:15,720 Speaker 1: you're like really derogatory chicks that they would use, you know, 124 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 1: especially the Latinos used that word so much. Yeah, so 125 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,640 Speaker 1: I grew up with just so much shame about who 126 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:26,960 Speaker 1: I was. After a year my mom being incarcerated. She 127 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:30,320 Speaker 1: got released to a halfway house, and what happened is 128 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:34,960 Speaker 1: she skipped parole and she moved this to school, which 129 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,320 Speaker 1: is where my family is from. We were pretty much 130 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:40,280 Speaker 1: on the run for four years. I'm gonna say that's 131 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,560 Speaker 1: when I really bonded with my mom because she was 132 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:47,040 Speaker 1: clean from drugs. My grandmother from prison was still giving 133 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:49,560 Speaker 1: orders like you know, this is what you're gonna do, 134 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 1: this is how you're gonna live. She had properties in Mexico, 135 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:56,800 Speaker 1: so nothing was missing. We had everything we needed. We 136 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 1: were provided for, so my mom didn't even have to work. 137 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 1: She's just was the housewife. But then she picked up 138 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,280 Speaker 1: drugs again and we ended up coming back to the 139 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:08,240 Speaker 1: US when my sister Daniela was born, and we've been 140 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 1: here since. You were how old when your sister Andrea 141 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:14,880 Speaker 1: was was born? You said seven? You were seven, okay, 142 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:18,160 Speaker 1: So that that happened all so quickly, like being under 143 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 1: your grandma's wing, and then she was gone, and then 144 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,760 Speaker 1: you had your sister. Your mom had your sister Andrea, 145 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:28,160 Speaker 1: and then you had this responsibility since so young. Like 146 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,000 Speaker 1: that's where I feel like we have that in common 147 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,560 Speaker 1: where we're the eldest, and we have this responsibility that 148 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,280 Speaker 1: wasn't really ours at such a young age, and it 149 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 1: forces us to mature so quickly and kind of miss 150 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:41,720 Speaker 1: out on our childhood. Did you feel like you missed 151 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:45,800 Speaker 1: out on your childhood in some way? I don't feel 152 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:48,440 Speaker 1: like I had a childhood. And this is what one 153 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,000 Speaker 1: of the resentments I always had towards my mom that 154 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,400 Speaker 1: I didn't get to live as a kid. I was 155 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,480 Speaker 1: always picking up after her. I was in charge of 156 00:08:56,720 --> 00:09:00,280 Speaker 1: cleaning and combing Andrea's hair, getting her ready for school, 157 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,280 Speaker 1: picking out her outfits, caring for her, and also, like 158 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,840 Speaker 1: you know, the protective person, and he wanted to make 159 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 1: sure that she was shielded from things that happened as 160 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:11,640 Speaker 1: a result of my mom being in her addiction. Did 161 00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:13,880 Speaker 1: you feel like at times that you resented her in 162 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 1: a way? Your mom? Absolutely. I know you've talked about this, 163 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:20,440 Speaker 1: like I loved her, but I didn't like her. You know, 164 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 1: I had so much resentment growing up towards my mom, 165 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,320 Speaker 1: and I said, I will never do drugs, I will 166 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,280 Speaker 1: never be an alcoholic. I wanted to be very different, 167 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 1: and so I applied myself. I applied myself in school 168 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 1: and I said, I'm going to be an honor student. 169 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,120 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to college. I'm going to get a degree. 170 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:38,600 Speaker 1: I'm going to break the cycle of like this fuck up, 171 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,679 Speaker 1: dysfunctional family that I have. I did pretty good for 172 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:45,160 Speaker 1: the most part. So you know, even throughout high school, 173 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:48,600 Speaker 1: I was still like very effeminate. Everyone just said, you know, 174 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:53,200 Speaker 1: the gay kid or or whatever, you know, those terrible 175 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,960 Speaker 1: things that we grew up Back then, Queer was like 176 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:59,079 Speaker 1: not a cool word, and that's what they would call me. 177 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 1: Here's the thing I want to preface, like everything I 178 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:07,000 Speaker 1: mentioned is my experience. Right, there's like no umbrella term 179 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,880 Speaker 1: for the trans community. It's just my experience, which I 180 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,760 Speaker 1: was going to tell you. I saw that especially with 181 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,040 Speaker 1: your podcast. It's kind of this is my experience. I'm 182 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 1: not representing the community as a whole. It's just this 183 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:21,680 Speaker 1: is who I am, and I'm speaking about myself, which 184 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:23,760 Speaker 1: I like, I think it's I think it's a good thing. 185 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:27,160 Speaker 1: And then I respect that. So absolutely you you thank you. 186 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,000 Speaker 1: This is your space too, so you go ahead and 187 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:32,120 Speaker 1: say like it is. So then you know what happened 188 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:34,400 Speaker 1: is I was gonna I got admitted to three universities. 189 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:36,920 Speaker 1: I was so excited because I was finally on my 190 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:40,520 Speaker 1: way to be successful. And then my mother got arrested 191 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:44,240 Speaker 1: at the border for crossing I have the amount of methamphetamines. 192 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:48,000 Speaker 1: She was given a prison sentence, and my sisters were 193 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:51,440 Speaker 1: being shuffled from house to house. My grandmother, who was 194 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 1: out of prison at the time, she was older, and 195 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 1: she said, I can't take care of these girls. It's 196 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,440 Speaker 1: too much for me. Because by this time I had 197 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,959 Speaker 1: a little Adrian. He had already been born and she 198 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 1: was taking care of him and he was a baby. 199 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 1: So what happened is I put my life on hold. 200 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,200 Speaker 1: I got a job that paid me well. I went 201 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,440 Speaker 1: before the judge and I got custody of my two 202 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:15,080 Speaker 1: younger sisters and I raised them. And that was the 203 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:18,000 Speaker 1: most challenging thing that I've ever gone through, but also 204 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:21,839 Speaker 1: the most rewarding one. They became like my everything. Oh 205 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:23,680 Speaker 1: my goodness. I mean, we have a lot in common. 206 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,600 Speaker 1: Your baby brother was how old at this time, So 207 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:32,000 Speaker 1: Adrian was about a year old baby. He was a 208 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,840 Speaker 1: baby baby back then. So you weren't able to go 209 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:36,920 Speaker 1: to the university. You just said, I'm going to get 210 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:40,120 Speaker 1: a job and try to raise my sisters exactly, and 211 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:41,920 Speaker 1: that's what I did. I did the best that I could. 212 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,800 Speaker 1: I mean, they didn't come with instructions, and I was 213 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:46,760 Speaker 1: just like, fuck it, I'm gonna do what I think 214 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,920 Speaker 1: is the best for them and just give them stability, 215 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:52,560 Speaker 1: show them that there is a better way of life 216 00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:54,920 Speaker 1: out here, because by this time, you know, my mom, 217 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:59,480 Speaker 1: they're living in motels, they're living in random places, and 218 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,200 Speaker 1: so they're me picking up the bad habits my sister 219 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:03,720 Speaker 1: and that I was kind of headed that way, and 220 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,160 Speaker 1: I was like, God, I don't want my sister. I 221 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,199 Speaker 1: really don't want that for her because I had so 222 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:10,200 Speaker 1: much fear that she was gonna end up on drugs 223 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,760 Speaker 1: in jail or dead. That's like my biggest fear, and 224 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,439 Speaker 1: I carry that fear for so long with my parents. 225 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:19,839 Speaker 1: So anyway, I stepped in. I raised them. But all 226 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:22,880 Speaker 1: the resentment and all the like hate I felt towards 227 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,120 Speaker 1: my mom just grew and grew and grew, because here 228 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,560 Speaker 1: I am picking up after her again and putting my 229 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:32,600 Speaker 1: life on hold. I started abusing alcohol. That was like 230 00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:36,800 Speaker 1: my way to cope, and then that led to other stuff, okay, 231 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:41,880 Speaker 1: like hard drugs, harder drugs that led to me blacking out. 232 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:44,640 Speaker 1: I'm a blackout drinker. Like I drink enough and I 233 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 1: black out. Wake up and I hear about things that 234 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,840 Speaker 1: I did, and it's like, holy sh it, I did that, 235 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:51,439 Speaker 1: Like I can't see myself doing that. I was so 236 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,920 Speaker 1: unhappy with the person who I was. I knew that 237 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:58,840 Speaker 1: I wasn't happy internally. Yes, I was abusing alcoholis abusing drugs, 238 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:02,000 Speaker 1: but also when I looked in the mirror cheeks, I 239 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:05,839 Speaker 1: didn't like what I saw. And you hadn't transitioned at 240 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:09,480 Speaker 1: this point, correct, but you had accepted I'm gay or 241 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:13,600 Speaker 1: you hadn't accepted that. It's interesting because I had accepted 242 00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:18,520 Speaker 1: that I was gay. However, I didn't have that experience 243 00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:20,760 Speaker 1: of like I'm gay, I'm out and proud and I'm 244 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:24,000 Speaker 1: gonna like go day and have fun. That wasn't my experience. 245 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:27,680 Speaker 1: I was ashamed that I was gay. I couldn't find 246 00:13:27,679 --> 00:13:31,360 Speaker 1: my place because I wasn't dating gay man. I wasn't 247 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,920 Speaker 1: attracted to them, so I didn't really have relationships as 248 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:37,520 Speaker 1: a gay man. It's interesting, and I that's the only 249 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:39,520 Speaker 1: way I can explain it. I couldn't find my place. 250 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:44,079 Speaker 1: The reason I asked these questions is because my brother Johnny, 251 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:47,040 Speaker 1: he's he's my baby. We went through this, you know 252 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:49,520 Speaker 1: where he went through like no I he was eleven 253 00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:52,560 Speaker 1: years old and he was just confused about his sexuality 254 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:56,360 Speaker 1: and for a long time he was just upset and 255 00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:59,959 Speaker 1: had these thoughts of suicide. And it was so hard 256 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,160 Speaker 1: art because he was like, this is what I like, 257 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:04,000 Speaker 1: but I don't want to like what I like, like 258 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,960 Speaker 1: I want to be quote unquote normal. And it took 259 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:09,920 Speaker 1: a while to just say, Johnny, like, you need to 260 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:14,120 Speaker 1: just say it out loud and little by little. I 261 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 1: can't push you into saying it loud and proud, but 262 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:18,280 Speaker 1: you have if this is what you like, this is 263 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:20,720 Speaker 1: what your body desires, you have two little by little 264 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,960 Speaker 1: start accepting that because if not, it's going to cause 265 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 1: other things. And I think maybe this is what I'm hearing. 266 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,280 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know. I mean, obviously you did 267 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 1: have a very rough childhood and your parents and then 268 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,800 Speaker 1: your grandma and then having to take the responsibility of 269 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:38,640 Speaker 1: your sisters. You felt alone and you felt like you 270 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:40,760 Speaker 1: didn't have a support system. Is that correct? And it 271 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:43,200 Speaker 1: kind of lead you into alcohol. Makes me feel good 272 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:46,760 Speaker 1: for the moment. A big part of it is that 273 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:49,240 Speaker 1: I felt like I had let my family down right. 274 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:52,640 Speaker 1: I was like the first born male. My family is 275 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:59,479 Speaker 1: very Mexican Catholic, and I felt very traditional. And my grandmother, 276 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,320 Speaker 1: not my mom's mom, but my dad's mom, would tell 277 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:08,880 Speaker 1: me things like and you know, things like that, like 278 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,280 Speaker 1: since it's always a kid. I could see the look 279 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:13,680 Speaker 1: of disappointment in their face when they'd see me, or 280 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:16,840 Speaker 1: the way I expressed myself, and then my grandmother would say, 281 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:25,400 Speaker 1: I know I'm looking nas that was hurtful, of course, absolutely, dude. Yeah, 282 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:28,560 Speaker 1: sometimes I feel like they don't realize that things that 283 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:31,880 Speaker 1: they say are elders, like how much they can affect 284 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,040 Speaker 1: our life. Our hearts are little minds, you know, because 285 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,640 Speaker 1: you're so young, you're still trying to figure things out 286 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:39,600 Speaker 1: within yourself, within your body, and then having someone that 287 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:43,280 Speaker 1: you love tell you this, it's just absolutely I totally 288 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:46,560 Speaker 1: get that. And when did you start your transition? How 289 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,240 Speaker 1: old were you when you started? So what happened is 290 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:53,400 Speaker 1: I try to kill myself? Oh man? Yeah, after years 291 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:56,040 Speaker 1: of abusing drugs and alcohol, I decided that I didn't 292 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:58,560 Speaker 1: want to live anymore. I drink a bottle of pills, 293 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:02,440 Speaker 1: a big old bottle. My sisters and found me, and 294 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 1: by this time and that I was driving, so she 295 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:07,160 Speaker 1: drove me to the hospital to the emergency room. My 296 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,840 Speaker 1: liver started to shut down. I was hospitalized for seven days, 297 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:14,560 Speaker 1: and on the last day that I was there, the 298 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,640 Speaker 1: doctor said, you know what, you're very lucky that you're 299 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,760 Speaker 1: not dead. You put your liver through hell, I'm gonna 300 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:23,240 Speaker 1: discharge you. Just take it easy. So I'm excited, like 301 00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:26,280 Speaker 1: I'm packing, I'm getting ready to go home. And then 302 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,400 Speaker 1: these two E m t s walk up. They asked 303 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,480 Speaker 1: for me by name, and they said, we're going to 304 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:33,320 Speaker 1: take you to the psychiatric ward because this was technically 305 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,680 Speaker 1: a suicide attempt. So there I go into the psych word. 306 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:39,200 Speaker 1: I walk in and it wasn't my first time there. 307 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,960 Speaker 1: I had been a regular there because I had so 308 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:47,520 Speaker 1: many fucking demons inside me that I just always wanted 309 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:51,120 Speaker 1: to offer myself. And the doctor said, hey, welcome back. 310 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,600 Speaker 1: He saw my chart. He said, you know what, I 311 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:57,480 Speaker 1: really want you to look around the rooms here. And 312 00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:01,800 Speaker 1: I looked and you could see the patients nodding off 313 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,879 Speaker 1: in a corner, you know, And he said, these people 314 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,760 Speaker 1: here have severe mental issues. And I suspect that what 315 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:12,720 Speaker 1: you have is an addiction problem. So I'm going to 316 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,240 Speaker 1: make a deal with you. I'm gonna let you out 317 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,960 Speaker 1: of here if you check out recovery a recovery meeting. 318 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,240 Speaker 1: You know, at this time, I feel like this small 319 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:23,359 Speaker 1: I have nothing to lose. So I said, all right, 320 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:26,159 Speaker 1: let's do it. I started going to these meetings and 321 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:29,159 Speaker 1: I started doing the work that we do in a 322 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:34,360 Speaker 1: top step program, and I started taking inventory of myself 323 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:39,119 Speaker 1: and I discovered that I was a woman. That was 324 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,879 Speaker 1: a turning point for me. And do you feel that 325 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,639 Speaker 1: ever since that happened, where you're like, I'm a woman, 326 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,119 Speaker 1: you felt like you were happier in every way? Or 327 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,879 Speaker 1: was it still a little bit of an uphill battle? Okay, 328 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:53,000 Speaker 1: So I played with a thought for months, and it 329 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:55,920 Speaker 1: was a bit of an uphill battle because I thought 330 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:59,000 Speaker 1: of everyone else. I thought of my sisters, I thought 331 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,760 Speaker 1: of my grandparents, I thought of my friends. This was 332 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:06,280 Speaker 1: a big commitment and I had to be sure that 333 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:08,760 Speaker 1: I was going to take this leap of faith. And 334 00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:11,639 Speaker 1: it's a scary one. Oh my god, it was so scary. 335 00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:15,639 Speaker 1: And so I started seeing a doctor about hormones. I 336 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,639 Speaker 1: started taking the hormones before going full time as a woman. 337 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,440 Speaker 1: I was working at the time at the phone company, 338 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,320 Speaker 1: and I told him, Hey, this is what's going to happen. 339 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:28,080 Speaker 1: I'm going to transition. And they're like, okay, great, They're 340 00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,879 Speaker 1: very cool about it. Just bring us any sort of 341 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:34,840 Speaker 1: like documentation, any legal name change or whatever. So I 342 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,320 Speaker 1: did that, and then it was time to tell my family. 343 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:48,200 Speaker 1: My mom's side of the family is very conservative. My 344 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:49,960 Speaker 1: dad's side of the family, even though they're very much 345 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:53,320 Speaker 1: he'stas and very like be a boy, be a boy. 346 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:57,399 Speaker 1: They they're more what's the word. So then being like 347 00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:00,960 Speaker 1: they're cool, like there, they have fun, they drink. Okay, 348 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,919 Speaker 1: they're a little bit more open minded. I guess you 349 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:07,040 Speaker 1: can say that. Okay, my mom's family is a little 350 00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:09,959 Speaker 1: more proper, and my dad's family is more like you 351 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:14,000 Speaker 1: know this melody, okay, yeah, So yeah, I get it. 352 00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:18,399 Speaker 1: I don't know how I get it down tripped. So 353 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,400 Speaker 1: I sat down with my nana, with my daughta and 354 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:25,880 Speaker 1: my uncle and I told him, Nana got that. I'm 355 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,679 Speaker 1: trying to remember exactly what I told him. Damn it, 356 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:32,280 Speaker 1: what was it. I was just so fucking nervous, and 357 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:34,359 Speaker 1: I said, just get it. Out quick, get it out quick. 358 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:40,760 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my goodness. And I remember that. I remember. 359 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:45,000 Speaker 1: I remember their eyes were just like dead stare and 360 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:48,000 Speaker 1: it was just like silence at the table. Nobody was 361 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:51,359 Speaker 1: saying anything, and I'm dying inside. I'm like, holy sh it, 362 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:54,240 Speaker 1: what did I just do? And then my nana, she's 363 00:19:54,320 --> 00:20:00,399 Speaker 1: such a jokester, she looks at me, she's like the first, 364 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:07,040 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, that was like the first thing she said, 365 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,200 Speaker 1: and that just like broke the eyes. Everybody started laughing. 366 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:14,280 Speaker 1: And then my daughter just said like okay, and it 367 00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:18,600 Speaker 1: was like that, Wow, here's the thing. Check. By this time, 368 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:22,120 Speaker 1: I had already put my family through hell with my addiction, 369 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,960 Speaker 1: with my drinking. They just wanted me to be safe. 370 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:29,919 Speaker 1: They wanted me to be happy. They wanted me to 371 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:35,119 Speaker 1: be living because the things that happened to me in 372 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,600 Speaker 1: my addiction we're freaking scary. We're talking about I'd get 373 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,879 Speaker 1: lost in the juana for days and they didn't know 374 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:45,040 Speaker 1: if I was dead or alive. Okay, how long was this? 375 00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:48,200 Speaker 1: How many years of this give or take do you think? Oh, 376 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:52,760 Speaker 1: let's see, I'm gonna say good five six years of it? Okay. 377 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 1: So it was very It was tormenting for for them emotionally, 378 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,240 Speaker 1: I'm sure so for them to be getting calls at 379 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,080 Speaker 1: two o'clock, three o'clock in the morning that I'm stranded 380 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,840 Speaker 1: or that I'm in trouble, or that I'm here, that 381 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,760 Speaker 1: I'm in a hospital. This was just like, you know, 382 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 1: when I got sober, they were like, oh, thank god. 383 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:13,119 Speaker 1: So by the time I transitioned, they were like, you 384 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,800 Speaker 1: know what, we just want you to be okay for 385 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:19,280 Speaker 1: the rest. So yeah, and how long have you been 386 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:22,800 Speaker 1: sober now? I mean I've been sober for fourteen years. Wow, 387 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,840 Speaker 1: that's awesome. Oh wait, but how did your mom's side 388 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:27,360 Speaker 1: of the family take it, because this is your dad's 389 00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:29,320 Speaker 1: side of the family, right, This is my dad's side 390 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:31,480 Speaker 1: of the family, So with my mom and you know, 391 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,880 Speaker 1: this is my grandma, my mommy Lecha, who raised me 392 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:38,399 Speaker 1: like I was like, I was her everything. But you know, 393 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:40,280 Speaker 1: my little brother kind of replaced me in that area. 394 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:42,760 Speaker 1: But I was cool with it. I was cool with 395 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,800 Speaker 1: you know, she raised him since he was born. Because 396 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,480 Speaker 1: my mom was in jail, and it took me longer 397 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:50,639 Speaker 1: to tell them. I kind of distanced myself from them 398 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,199 Speaker 1: because that's the kind of person that I used to 399 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:57,000 Speaker 1: be right, to avoid conflict, to avoid pain, I just turned. 400 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,879 Speaker 1: I just distanced myself from you instead of addressing it. 401 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,760 Speaker 1: And so I had been living as a woman not 402 00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,720 Speaker 1: it wasn't you know. Immediate after I told my paternal 403 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:07,399 Speaker 1: grandparents and it was a little it took me a 404 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:11,199 Speaker 1: little while, but I walked in and you know, by 405 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,439 Speaker 1: this time, they had already heard about it, and they 406 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,880 Speaker 1: didn't know what to expect. Yeah, they had heard about it, 407 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:18,080 Speaker 1: but it was kind of like, you know, do I 408 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 1: contact or do I not? Do I say? And then 409 00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:24,040 Speaker 1: I thought, you know what, life's too short. I gotta 410 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,840 Speaker 1: tell them. They have to know. So I told them 411 00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:30,080 Speaker 1: and I had a phone call with them first, and 412 00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:32,640 Speaker 1: then I walked in to see them. And I remember 413 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:35,119 Speaker 1: walking into the living room and my mom, Lea was 414 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:36,800 Speaker 1: at the table. She was on the phone with one 415 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:41,480 Speaker 1: of my aunts and she's like, what it was very 416 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,199 Speaker 1: It was so so weird, and she just looked at 417 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:48,040 Speaker 1: me and she's like, you want eat this? That's that 418 00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:51,200 Speaker 1: was what she said. And she got up and hugged me, 419 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:55,600 Speaker 1: and it was like I could breathe. Yeah, it was 420 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,399 Speaker 1: kind of like a breath of fresh air. For sure. 421 00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:01,439 Speaker 1: Can I ask you about how you came to the 422 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:04,560 Speaker 1: realization that you were a woman? Like I'm sure people 423 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:08,720 Speaker 1: listening right now who are unsure about their place in 424 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:12,280 Speaker 1: the world maybe are facing this. What can you share 425 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,280 Speaker 1: with them, like maybe they have a similar battle, like 426 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:15,800 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like what helped you come 427 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,679 Speaker 1: to that realization? For me, it was, you know, like 428 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,439 Speaker 1: I said, I had gotten sober and I was really 429 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:24,919 Speaker 1: diving deep into myself. I was like soul searching. I 430 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,560 Speaker 1: needed to know what were the things that made me 431 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:29,840 Speaker 1: act the way that I was acting when I was 432 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:33,840 Speaker 1: in my disease, in my addiction, and literally taking inventory 433 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:37,879 Speaker 1: on paper about who I was. And then I always 434 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,520 Speaker 1: felt like, God, I wish I was born a girl, 435 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:44,280 Speaker 1: but I never put more thought than that, you know, 436 00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:47,240 Speaker 1: because I like the glamour, like the makeup, the hair, 437 00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:50,159 Speaker 1: the clothes. You know. Andrea was my little barbeque to 438 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:52,600 Speaker 1: dress her the way I wanted. And one day she 439 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:54,520 Speaker 1: turned around and she was in high school, you know, 440 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:58,040 Speaker 1: like she's going to high school where everyone's wearing you know, 441 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:01,760 Speaker 1: really casual clothes, and she's going with boots and jeans 442 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,879 Speaker 1: and like really nice clothes. And she looked at me. 443 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,440 Speaker 1: She's like, why do you dress me like this? She's like, 444 00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:08,240 Speaker 1: if you like it so much, why don't you dress 445 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:12,040 Speaker 1: yourself like this? Oh? She told you she did. I 446 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:15,520 Speaker 1: was like, you just have to look at always, And 447 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:19,040 Speaker 1: so all these little things starting adding up for me. Oh, 448 00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:22,280 Speaker 1: I've always wanted to like, you know, that comment always 449 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:23,720 Speaker 1: stuck in my mind. If you like it so much, 450 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,919 Speaker 1: why don't you do it on you instead of me? Like, like, 451 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,200 Speaker 1: I'm not your mannequin. That's pretty much what she told me. 452 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:33,080 Speaker 1: And what happened is after I was doing this inventory 453 00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:36,600 Speaker 1: on myself and I realized that a lot of my 454 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:40,600 Speaker 1: resentment was towards women. A lot of reasonings I had 455 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:45,600 Speaker 1: towards women because they had what I yearned to have. 456 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:50,359 Speaker 1: You know, the moment that I started wearing makeup and 457 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:54,359 Speaker 1: letting my hair grow out, and that I started getting 458 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:58,280 Speaker 1: breast development from the hormones and my skin got thinner 459 00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:02,440 Speaker 1: like that, the moment that all these things started changing 460 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:05,159 Speaker 1: in me, it was like I started seeing in color, 461 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:08,639 Speaker 1: Like the light just went on, So you were like 462 00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:14,200 Speaker 1: blossoming right before your eyes. I was I remember, I 463 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:19,199 Speaker 1: have an interesting story. I remember I said, Okay, if 464 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:21,000 Speaker 1: I'm going to be a woman, I need to learn 465 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:22,600 Speaker 1: how to do makeup. I need to be able to 466 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:24,879 Speaker 1: do my own makeup. So I went to the school 467 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,879 Speaker 1: in New York. I took this makeup course, came back, 468 00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:31,440 Speaker 1: and I was so excited. I kept practicing at night. 469 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:32,800 Speaker 1: But then I was like, I have to practice on 470 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:36,480 Speaker 1: people too, And I was going to your mom's concert. 471 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:39,560 Speaker 1: My coworkers and I were going to a Jenny Rita 472 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:43,639 Speaker 1: concert in some of Casino, no Way. And this was 473 00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:47,760 Speaker 1: my first outing full time as a woman, Like it 474 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,879 Speaker 1: was like my first big event where I was going 475 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,360 Speaker 1: to be around a lot of people. And so we're 476 00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:55,080 Speaker 1: in the car and I turned on and tell my 477 00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,080 Speaker 1: friend Blankie that my co worker. I'm like, I might 478 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,919 Speaker 1: get to let me practice on you. And she's like, okay, 479 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,720 Speaker 1: do it. So I started giving her like, you know, 480 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:04,560 Speaker 1: We're in the backseat of a car and I'm giving 481 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:08,800 Speaker 1: like a smoky eyeshadow kind of look. And I'm fresh 482 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,440 Speaker 1: out of school. I don't know what the funk I'm doing. 483 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,679 Speaker 1: We get to the concert and she looks like a 484 00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:22,280 Speaker 1: fucking raccoon. Like so she's like, okay, let's go fix 485 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,199 Speaker 1: it a little bit and like okay, and I'm like, 486 00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,959 Speaker 1: I'm me dressed as a woman. My hair wasn't that 487 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:30,439 Speaker 1: long at that point, but I think I had like 488 00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:36,080 Speaker 1: a half wig. And I was wearing these wedges, tight jeans, 489 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:40,360 Speaker 1: a tank top, and I was fucking scare cheekys because 490 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:44,840 Speaker 1: here I am at a big event. They're gonna clock me, 491 00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:47,960 Speaker 1: they're gonna name call me, They're gonna they're gonna like 492 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,160 Speaker 1: I'm going down right? But did you feel fabulous though? 493 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:54,520 Speaker 1: Or you were more scared? I felt fabulous and it 494 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:58,439 Speaker 1: was mortified. And the moment your mom came out and 495 00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:01,600 Speaker 1: started seeing, I let go of all those fears and 496 00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:04,600 Speaker 1: I had a wonderful time and I felt like myself 497 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:08,520 Speaker 1: like free. I felt so fucking free. You felt alive. 498 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:13,000 Speaker 1: I felt alive. And nobody talks it to me, Nobody 499 00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 1: name called me. Everybody was just having fun, enjoying the moment. 500 00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:22,800 Speaker 1: And I was like, Okay, this is who I am. 501 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:26,320 Speaker 1: So is it safe to say that my mother was 502 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:30,119 Speaker 1: like your Marina, she's your Marina of like, you know Emmy, 503 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:33,360 Speaker 1: the birth of Emmy being out and out of being 504 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:36,520 Speaker 1: like that was like my first big event. And I remember, 505 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:40,480 Speaker 1: just because you know, you never know what's going to happen, Like, 506 00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,399 Speaker 1: oh my god, what do I do that? You know, 507 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,480 Speaker 1: how do I act? Are people gonna be staring at me? 508 00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:46,040 Speaker 1: Are they gonna throw things at me? Or they're gonna 509 00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:47,920 Speaker 1: call me things? Are they gonna beat me up? All 510 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:50,399 Speaker 1: these things were like valid fears that I had as 511 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,919 Speaker 1: a trans woman at the time, for sure, because I 512 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:55,720 Speaker 1: was still like I didn't look like this, that's for sure. 513 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 1: But you had a good time. It makes me so happy, 514 00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:01,800 Speaker 1: had an amazing time. It's good. That makes me so happy. Honestly, 515 00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,720 Speaker 1: shout out to my mama. She had the best concerts 516 00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:15,800 Speaker 1: as someone who is transgender, and also as someone who 517 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,200 Speaker 1: works in the entertainment industry because you are an actor 518 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:21,720 Speaker 1: and now you have your podcast. Do you think that 519 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:26,320 Speaker 1: we're making progress on representation and TV and film? I 520 00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:28,080 Speaker 1: love that you're asking that because that's one of the 521 00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:31,040 Speaker 1: conversations that I keep having with my colleagues, that I 522 00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:35,320 Speaker 1: keep having with casting directors, with you know, my representation 523 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:41,040 Speaker 1: diversity in Hollywood. We're making progress, we are, We're not 524 00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,800 Speaker 1: there yet, So it's like a little dab. It's a 525 00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:47,280 Speaker 1: little dab, yes, And you know, there have been a 526 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:52,400 Speaker 1: lot more roles available for the lgbt Q plus community. 527 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,640 Speaker 1: I love seeing that we're not there yet. We still 528 00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:57,840 Speaker 1: have a lot of work to do. But what do 529 00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:00,760 Speaker 1: you think, I mean is the challenge though? Like what 530 00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:03,800 Speaker 1: what's stopping the progress in the industry. I really feel 531 00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:08,960 Speaker 1: it's a lot about education. We for many years, I mean, 532 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:14,600 Speaker 1: I have lived in a heterosis world, so really it's 533 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:19,160 Speaker 1: about continuing to educate. And it's not about pushing agendas 534 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:22,000 Speaker 1: on anyone. Like I hate seeing that when when I 535 00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:23,760 Speaker 1: when I like, I saw a post her day and 536 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:26,280 Speaker 1: they were like, stop trying to push your agenda on us. 537 00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:31,360 Speaker 1: You know, it's about like being loving and accepting towards all. 538 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:38,560 Speaker 1: There's space for us all I think and get that 539 00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,160 Speaker 1: fact that I'm a firm believer in that. This is 540 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:43,280 Speaker 1: why I wanted to And I'm glad you have your 541 00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:45,360 Speaker 1: podcast and we're gonna talk about that right now. But 542 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,520 Speaker 1: like with these podcasts, it's speaking about these things. It's 543 00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:58,080 Speaker 1: is kind of like live and let live. If I'm 544 00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:01,320 Speaker 1: not doing anything to harm you, let me live my life, 545 00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:03,760 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And that's something that I'm 546 00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:06,520 Speaker 1: glad that we can talk about. And now I can 547 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:08,760 Speaker 1: see it more than ever. It's it's stuff that is 548 00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:12,880 Speaker 1: being more accepted. But yes, guys, live and let live 549 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,840 Speaker 1: and worry about yourself and what you can do right 550 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:18,640 Speaker 1: to better yourself. And I'm talking about the people that 551 00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:21,200 Speaker 1: are listening and just in general. Yeah, I mean, if 552 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:26,040 Speaker 1: you have love and respect for humanity, that's so helpful. 553 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:29,920 Speaker 1: I don't have any sort of like disrespect towards somebody 554 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,800 Speaker 1: who doesn't align with the same beliefs that I do. Know, 555 00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,400 Speaker 1: I let them be. If they don't mess with me, 556 00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:40,040 Speaker 1: I'm not going to mess with them, right, It's just exactly, 557 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,440 Speaker 1: And I mean I was always like this. This came 558 00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:45,520 Speaker 1: from like working on myself, trying to be a better 559 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:49,200 Speaker 1: version of whom I was yesterday. Yeah, exactly. Every day 560 00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:51,200 Speaker 1: we've got to be a better version of ourselves and 561 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:54,320 Speaker 1: focus on the things that we could change within. And 562 00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,360 Speaker 1: that also helps you, like not focusing so much on 563 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:59,160 Speaker 1: what other people are doing or not doing. People that 564 00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:02,280 Speaker 1: are listening to us that also are transgender or part 565 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:04,600 Speaker 1: of the LGBT plus community, like, what do you have 566 00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:06,560 Speaker 1: to tell them? Can you tell them something like to 567 00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:08,719 Speaker 1: you know, give them some type of some words of 568 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:14,920 Speaker 1: inspiration empowerment. Absolutely don't let fear hold you back. That's 569 00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:18,440 Speaker 1: what held me back. I was so scared. After I transitioned, 570 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,560 Speaker 1: I was like, there's no fucking way I'm gonna be 571 00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,760 Speaker 1: able to be an actor. There's no way. This was 572 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:26,880 Speaker 1: before we had what we have now today we have 573 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:31,120 Speaker 1: people who have paved the way for us. Right, So 574 00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:33,440 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, what am I going to do now? Like, 575 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:35,840 Speaker 1: there's nothing else that I want to do. I had 576 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,560 Speaker 1: so much fear. I was scared. Don't let that hold 577 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:41,760 Speaker 1: you back. If you want something, go for it. I'm 578 00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:44,760 Speaker 1: a strong believer that what's meant for you is meant 579 00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:48,040 Speaker 1: for you, and I wish that I had the knowledge 580 00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:51,840 Speaker 1: and wisdom that I have today back then to just 581 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:54,640 Speaker 1: go for it. I'm always a fucking way bloomer at everything. 582 00:31:54,680 --> 00:32:00,160 Speaker 1: That's just like, but hey, late bloomer or not, are 583 00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:02,000 Speaker 1: doing it and you haven't given up on your dreams, 584 00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:05,280 Speaker 1: and I honestly I applaud you for that. Are you 585 00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:11,080 Speaker 1: in a relationship? Are you in love? Well, I guess 586 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,000 Speaker 1: you're gonna have to listen to the podcast to find 587 00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:18,959 Speaker 1: out A nice answer, girl, very nice, because okay, perfect, 588 00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:20,800 Speaker 1: I'm gonna for sure listen so I can find out 589 00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:23,600 Speaker 1: my answer to that question. So tell us tell us 590 00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,240 Speaker 1: about the podcast. Actually tell us about crumbs and white crumbs. 591 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,239 Speaker 1: I'll tell you what crumbs. The show about things that 592 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:32,040 Speaker 1: we settle for in life and the bits of ourselves 593 00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:35,080 Speaker 1: that make up our identity. That's what the show is about. 594 00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:38,800 Speaker 1: And so in Crumbs, I talk about what it's like 595 00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:41,800 Speaker 1: to be dating for a trans woman. I talk about 596 00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:44,920 Speaker 1: different relationships that I've had and what kind of crumbs 597 00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:49,480 Speaker 1: I've settled for just to feel like I'm loved, just 598 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:52,920 Speaker 1: to feel like somebody wants me. Oh my goodness, I 599 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:58,200 Speaker 1: love that. So every relationship I'm talking about what fucking 600 00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:01,080 Speaker 1: crumb I received, what I learned from it, which I've 601 00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:03,960 Speaker 1: grown from it. So from the first episode to the 602 00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:06,880 Speaker 1: last episode, you're going to see a completely different woman. 603 00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:13,000 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. How exciting. Oh my gosh, congratulations on that. 604 00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,880 Speaker 1: Thank you. Well, it's not just about dating. It's also 605 00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:20,120 Speaker 1: settling for crumbs in our relationships with our family. And 606 00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,160 Speaker 1: you know, I have, like I have some sort of 607 00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:26,120 Speaker 1: a backstory with my family. So yes, you know what. 608 00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:29,239 Speaker 1: I love that. I think it's necessary, it's needed. I'm 609 00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:32,720 Speaker 1: excited to listen to Crumbs. Honestly, because I have been 610 00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:36,880 Speaker 1: through my share of relationships where I have settled to settle, 611 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,000 Speaker 1: but I don't regret those relationships because, like you just said, 612 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:43,040 Speaker 1: you learn from every experience. Every person that comes into 613 00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:44,960 Speaker 1: your life is a teacher to teach you something for 614 00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:49,240 Speaker 1: the next person. Was it hard to pitch the podcast? Oh? 615 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,240 Speaker 1: You know what's so funny, I'll tell you how it happened. 616 00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:54,360 Speaker 1: What happened is I started speaking a lot at top 617 00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:58,200 Speaker 1: Step recovery meetings and people would come up to me 618 00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:00,200 Speaker 1: after the podium. You. I talked about my story, worry 619 00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:03,040 Speaker 1: about the growing, my childhood, what it was like, what happened, 620 00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:06,200 Speaker 1: my turning point with drugs and alcohol, and what happened after, 621 00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:09,279 Speaker 1: which is like transitioning, Like holy sh it, you know, 622 00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:11,839 Speaker 1: and people are just like, oh my god, you need 623 00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:13,680 Speaker 1: to write a book about this. This is such a 624 00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:15,000 Speaker 1: good story. You need to write a book. And I've 625 00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:17,759 Speaker 1: spoken all over the country in Canada, like I've been 626 00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,200 Speaker 1: very fortunate to get to be able to tell my story. 627 00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:22,200 Speaker 1: And so finally I sat down on one day I 628 00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:24,239 Speaker 1: was like, you know, I'm gonna write the book. Why not? 629 00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:28,560 Speaker 1: Because if it can help somebody not kill themselves, then 630 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:33,120 Speaker 1: that's contributing to something. So I wrote the book and 631 00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:36,040 Speaker 1: I started. You know, I had made a couple friends 632 00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,520 Speaker 1: that are in the entertainment industry, and I got some 633 00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:42,480 Speaker 1: testimonials from them from my book. And then they said 634 00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:44,799 Speaker 1: somebody said called me. When they're like, hey, I mean, 635 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,920 Speaker 1: do you mind if I share your book proposal with 636 00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:50,600 Speaker 1: this producer that I know, I'm like, no, go ahead. 637 00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:53,480 Speaker 1: So that's how the podcast came about. They're interested in 638 00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:56,839 Speaker 1: my story, they feel like it could help people, and 639 00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:59,680 Speaker 1: so that's how it happened. The book's not out yet, 640 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:01,359 Speaker 1: that's thing, like the books not out yet, but they 641 00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:05,360 Speaker 1: read the proposal and they were like, let's do a 642 00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:08,600 Speaker 1: podcast about this. I love that because we don't hear 643 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:10,640 Speaker 1: stories like this very often. So now that you have 644 00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:14,200 Speaker 1: this space with your podcast to share that, I think 645 00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:17,400 Speaker 1: that's wonderful. This is this is already like showing us 646 00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:23,120 Speaker 1: that it's it's becoming more. And I don't even know 647 00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:25,399 Speaker 1: if the word is accepted, because it's not the word 648 00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:26,759 Speaker 1: that I'm looking for, you know what I mean. But 649 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:28,759 Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, and I know what you're trying to say. 650 00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,799 Speaker 1: It's normalized. That's the word. And I know exactly what 651 00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:33,839 Speaker 1: you mean. Like, I was so shocked because the other 652 00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:39,640 Speaker 1: day I got an audition for trans lead Mexican movie, 653 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:41,719 Speaker 1: Like that was the first time I've ever seen that, 654 00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:47,319 Speaker 1: and I was like, whoa, this is fucking awesome in 655 00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:51,360 Speaker 1: a Mexican movie. Let's transgender, and it was. I was 656 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:54,879 Speaker 1: just so like, mind blown. That's good. And that's why 657 00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:57,920 Speaker 1: I did the podcast in Spanish as well, right, because 658 00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,200 Speaker 1: I want to be able to cater to that market, 659 00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:07,480 Speaker 1: our Latin Hispanic community. Honestly, I sent men Ganza and 660 00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:11,239 Speaker 1: it's because of women like you that are open enough 661 00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:13,600 Speaker 1: to share their stories that are going to change the 662 00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:16,400 Speaker 1: game in the transgender community, in the l g B 663 00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:20,520 Speaker 1: t Q plus community, honestly, because it's important. The only 664 00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:23,560 Speaker 1: way to change lives is to be honest, be brutally honest, 665 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:25,239 Speaker 1: the good of the bad, of the ugly, harry, all 666 00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:31,839 Speaker 1: of it. Yeah, and that's how you're going to change lives. 667 00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:33,360 Speaker 1: And this is how we're going to get more roles, 668 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:36,839 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, and more podcasts. And that 669 00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:39,000 Speaker 1: makes me happy. That makes me, honestly, it makes me 670 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:42,719 Speaker 1: really happy. Thank you, thank you, congratulations on that. I'm 671 00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:44,879 Speaker 1: really really humble that you had me on your show. 672 00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:49,160 Speaker 1: I really appreciate that, of course, of course, I mean honestly, 673 00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:52,480 Speaker 1: I'm grateful. I'm grateful that you came on Chickens and 674 00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:59,160 Speaker 1: Chill and we're talking about a subject on them. Thank 675 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:02,000 Speaker 1: you for being open again, guys. You guys can listen 676 00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:06,360 Speaker 1: to her podcast Crumbs and guys, we're going to plug 677 00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:09,680 Speaker 1: in some l g B t Q resources in the 678 00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:12,879 Speaker 1: show notes for anyone who needs them. Before we wrap 679 00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:15,160 Speaker 1: up today's episode, I'm going to leave you with a 680 00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:19,080 Speaker 1: motivational quote. Like you guys know me and my quotes, 681 00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:27,000 Speaker 1: so today is I stand for honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, 682 00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:29,680 Speaker 1: treating people the way you want to be treated, and 683 00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:33,719 Speaker 1: helping those in need to meet Those are traditional values. 684 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:35,960 Speaker 1: It's a quote that I found and I liked it 685 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,560 Speaker 1: because we were just talking about live and let live 686 00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:41,919 Speaker 1: you guys, because it is important. So hopefully you guys 687 00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:44,759 Speaker 1: did learn a lot on this podcast and Emmy again, 688 00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:48,120 Speaker 1: which yes, um My, honor, thank you. I'm just so 689 00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:51,000 Speaker 1: grateful for you for having the space for me, for us, 690 00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:54,040 Speaker 1: for our community. I think it's so important that we 691 00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:57,680 Speaker 1: talk about and continue to educate ourselves. I'm really excited 692 00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:02,279 Speaker 1: for crumbs. I hope that in me something for you too. Oh, 693 00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:06,080 Speaker 1: thank you so much, Emmie, you guys, thank you so 694 00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:10,560 Speaker 1: much for listening to this episode of Chickens and Chill. 695 00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:18,360 Speaker 1: This is a production of I Heart Radio and Michael 696 00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:22,399 Speaker 1: Tura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michael Tura 697 00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:26,400 Speaker 1: Podcasts and follow me Cheeks that's c h i q 698 00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:30,520 Speaker 1: u i s. For more podcasts from my heart, visit 699 00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:33,920 Speaker 1: the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you 700 00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:35,240 Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.