Speaker 1: You know how difficult it is to have the courage
Speaker 1: to do what you're doing, to even suggest this, to
Speaker 1: even think about this. What's up, guys, Welcome back to
Speaker 1: the podcast, episode one eighty eight. Thank you for being here,
Speaker 1: and thank you for listening or watching wherever you're coming from.
Speaker 1: Grateful for this platform to be able to talk through
Speaker 1: things in long form. And this is really it's really
Speaker 1: capturing what I do all day with other stuff, but
Speaker 1: talk it seems like all day, and on this platform,
Speaker 1: I answer your questions. You email me Grangersmith podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com, and we walked through it, and I
Speaker 1: walk through this kind of stuff in real time with
Speaker 1: other people. In fact, I'm saying that because I literally
Speaker 1: just finished a conversation I have with this German friend
Speaker 1: that we talked back and forth, usually about theology. He's
Speaker 1: trying to he's an atheist, he's trying to disprove God,
Speaker 1: and I try to defend the faith from whatever questions
Speaker 1: that he that he has. And it's always really nice.
Speaker 1: We're always we're amicable to each other, right, we are
Speaker 1: friends with each other, I'll put it that way. We
Speaker 1: don't argue, but it's really fun. And I also have
Speaker 1: the radio show after midnight and then I also, lately,
Speaker 1: I've been recording my new book. I have a book
Speaker 1: coming out August first, called Like a River. I'm so
Speaker 1: passionate about this book, and of all the things that
Speaker 1: I do, of all the things that I have done,
Speaker 1: I'm most excited about this book coming out August first,
Speaker 1: and lately I've been recording the audio book for it.
Speaker 1: So I've been reading it and recording it, and hopefully
Speaker 1: a lot of you will be able to listen that way.
Speaker 1: If you're not a book reader, maybe you'll be an
Speaker 1: audiobook listener. So I'm just excited about it. So it's
Speaker 1: fresh on my mind, and I've literally been talking on
Speaker 1: a microphone all day long. Let's get to your questions. Okay.
Speaker 1: I don't scan these questions beforehand. I don't have a
Speaker 1: preparation process of getting an answer ready. I don't have
Speaker 1: notes in front of me. So we're gonna hear these
Speaker 1: questions together for the first time, and then we're gonna
Speaker 1: walk through them like we're just old friends, like me
Speaker 1: and this German guy. Right. I don't want to say
Speaker 1: his name, but here's the first question. Subject line says,
Speaker 1: does time really heal all wounds. Hey Granger, I could
Speaker 1: really use some advice right now. It's been almost over.
Speaker 1: It's been almost over a year, that's what she said.
Speaker 1: It's been almost over a year since my boyfriend and
Speaker 1: I broke up, and I can't seem to move on.
Speaker 1: We were together for a year and a half and unfortunately,
Speaker 1: my mental health got the best of me and I
Speaker 1: needed some space. We never stopped talking and hanging out,
Speaker 1: but we had to set some boundaries so that I
Speaker 1: could get better. When I wanted to work things out,
Speaker 1: he didn't, and it hurt me so badly and I'm
Speaker 1: still hurting even today. This man talked about marrying me
Speaker 1: and we looked at rings, only to have him move
Speaker 1: on to someone new in a few weeks after it ended.
Speaker 1: I'm very tired of feeling this hurt and lonely. Any advice, Shannon, Shannon,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for emailing and being vulnerable and
Speaker 1: opening up to me and let me scan your email.
Speaker 1: You said you were together for a year and a half,
Speaker 1: you battled mental health. He set boundaries so that you
Speaker 1: could get better, And then I'm trying to see if
Speaker 1: there's a timeline on when that was Okay, there is
Speaker 1: at the very beginning of the first sentence, it's been
Speaker 1: almost a year. Okay, got it. Let me clear a
Speaker 1: couple of things up. This is tough love, and I'm
Speaker 1: going to say some things that could hurt your feelings.
Speaker 1: Everyone that emails you know that I could say something
Speaker 1: that hurts your feelings. I hope not, and it's not
Speaker 1: my intention. My intention is to help you. I promise
Speaker 1: it's not to hurt you. But I sometimes in order
Speaker 1: to help you, I might have to say some things
Speaker 1: that hurt. This is what And I'm not always right
Speaker 1: about that. That's another thing I gotta throw out. I'm
Speaker 1: not always right. It could be wrong. But what I'm
Speaker 1: seeing is this whole stepping back to set some boundaries
Speaker 1: so that you can get better, is more so saying
Speaker 1: he got tired of trying to deal with this. He
Speaker 1: thought you're going crazy and he don't want to deal
Speaker 1: with it anymore. So he says, hey, let's set some
Speaker 1: boundaries so that you can get better, and maybe we
Speaker 1: should have a little time off from each other, you know,
Speaker 1: so you can get better. But really, what he's saying
Speaker 1: is I can't deal with this anymore. I need out Okay,
Speaker 1: he was probably ready. He fell out of love, if
Speaker 1: he was in love, and now he's moving on to
Speaker 1: someone else. None of that's surprising. The fact that you're
Speaker 1: hurting right now is not surprising. It doesn't minimize the hurt.
Speaker 1: It's still validated. I'm going to validate that you're hurting,
Speaker 1: and this is painful stuff. I want to validate with
Speaker 1: that with you. But I just want to also tell
Speaker 1: you that it's normal. It's not new, it's not front
Speaker 1: page news. You're heartbroken. And I've said this a lot
Speaker 1: on this podcast. You know, We've had a lot of
Speaker 1: episodes on here, and so many times it's just nice
Speaker 1: I think to hear that this is a normal, normal reaction. So,
Speaker 1: for instance, if you said, hey, I have a sore
Speaker 1: throat and I have a fever and I'm feeling terrible
Speaker 1: and I don't know what it is. It could be anything.
Speaker 1: I think I'm dying. I think I'm dying. And then
Speaker 1: we take it to the doctor that do a test
Speaker 1: and they go, oh, you got strep throat. This is
Speaker 1: something that's very common, and you're gonna give you a
Speaker 1: little bit of antibiotic and you're gonna take the medicine
Speaker 1: and you're gonna be better soon. Okay, it will go away,
Speaker 1: but it's gonna hurt. And then even though right then,
Speaker 1: what's crazy is you hear that and hearing that news
Speaker 1: from the doctor doesn't make the physical pain go away,
Speaker 1: but it gives you a sense of hope that this
Speaker 1: will end. This is normal. This is not abnormal. You
Speaker 1: don't have a rare disease that's gonna kill you in
Speaker 1: three weeks. This is strep throat And in about three
Speaker 1: days it's gonna be gone. Knowing that makes you feel
Speaker 1: so much better, even though your throat is still on
Speaker 1: fire and you still have one hundred and three degree temperature.
Speaker 1: Just knowing, Okay, I got this, this is normal, it
Speaker 1: will go away. I got it. That makes it better.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm telling you, Shannon. I'm telling you you
Speaker 1: got heartache or your heart is broken. It's the same
Speaker 1: thing as if I'm telling you you you have a
Speaker 1: positive diagnosis of strep throat. It's very common. And I'll
Speaker 1: tell you what. Heartache is a lot more common than strap.
Speaker 1: It's it's just it can go back for thousands of
Speaker 1: years of humanity. Humans get heartbroken. It's part of it's
Speaker 1: part of being human, it's part of loving. And so
Speaker 1: you go out there and you you love someone and
Speaker 1: you pour into them, and if they don't reciprocate, you
Speaker 1: get heartbroke. And so what would be the solution to that?
Speaker 1: Don't ever love again? Man, You're not gonna do that.
Speaker 1: So you go back out and you protect your heart responsibly,
Speaker 1: but you love again, and you learn from what you did,
Speaker 1: and this will your Your subject line says, does time
Speaker 1: really heal all wounds this kind of wound? Yes, I
Speaker 1: don't know about all I don't want to go there,
Speaker 1: but this kind of wound. Yes, time will heal You'll
Speaker 1: you'll feel better. You're gonna feel better, Okay, just not
Speaker 1: right now. And I could help you with moving this along.
Speaker 1: And moving it along would would be blocking him, blocking
Speaker 1: his number on your phone, blocking him on social media
Speaker 1: so you don't see this new girl that he's with.
Speaker 1: And it's just gonna help you not to think about him.
Speaker 1: The less you think about him, the quicker you're going
Speaker 1: to recover. Okay, I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Speaker 1: Next question says enter faith marriage. That's a subject line. Hey,
Speaker 1: Hannah says, my name is Hannah, I'm twenty six years
Speaker 1: old from Ohio. I don't want to make this too long,
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna try to give you the Sparksnokes version.
Speaker 1: I was raised in Church but come from a very
Speaker 1: broken family, which caused me a lot of mental health issues.
Speaker 1: In my brokenness, I lost faith in my late teens,
Speaker 1: and then I began to go down destructive paths. I
Speaker 1: started doing dating a Muslim man. I started dating a
Speaker 1: Muslim man. Two years later, he wanted to marry me.
Speaker 1: Before we were married, he started teaching me Islam and
Speaker 1: it seemed to make sense, so I grasped on in
Speaker 1: hopes of feeling better. However, I could never fully get
Speaker 1: myself there spiritually. It never felt right from me. Recently,
Speaker 1: after an excruciating bout with depression and completely losing my identity,
Speaker 1: I called out to Christ. I said, if it's you, Lord,
Speaker 1: please show me the way. Then I felt inclined to
Speaker 1: seek him. I started praying, reading my Bible daily, listening
Speaker 1: to worship music. I felt God again for the first
Speaker 1: time in a long time. I completely surrendered. Now the
Speaker 1: problem is my husband would never accept this. He watches
Speaker 1: a lot of videos and podcasts of these Muslim theologist
Speaker 1: who say the Bible is corrupt, that Jesus was only
Speaker 1: a prophet, etc. So he sees christian y and a
Speaker 1: poor light. I try to pray for his heart because
Speaker 1: I want him to feel this with me. I want
Speaker 1: the Lord to do work in his heart as well.
Speaker 1: I want him to be saved. I don't think he'll
Speaker 1: ever accept Christ or me being a Christian. How do
Speaker 1: I continue? Do I continue to pray for him and
Speaker 1: worship in secret? Will this marriage work if we are
Speaker 1: not on the same page spiritually? Thank you? Love the podcast.
Speaker 1: Oh great message. Thank you Hannah, and thank you for
Speaker 1: opening up and pouring your heart out on this email
Speaker 1: to me, who I don't feel like I deserve to
Speaker 1: uh to be in something that's very complicated. It's very
Speaker 1: complicated for you. So if you're if you're my friend Hannah,
Speaker 1: which I hope you are, and we're we're sitting around
Speaker 1: a campfire and you say, hey, Grange, I need to
Speaker 1: talk to you about this. Let's walk through it. Okay.
Speaker 1: I would like you to go to your Bible. You're
Speaker 1: gonna live there. I want you to live in this Bible. Okay.
Speaker 1: It's so helpful because Paul's going to write in first
Speaker 1: First Corinthians six and seven, he's going to start writing
Speaker 1: about your situation, and he's going to tell you what
Speaker 1: he is commanding you to do. And it's amazing that
Speaker 1: you could read this in your Bible. And this is
Speaker 1: why it's important that we don't use our Bibles like
Speaker 1: a form of encyclopedia, which I hope I'm not advocating
Speaker 1: for that here, but it's not an encyclopedia where you're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: where's the s's for suffering? Okay, where's the peas for prosperity? Boom.
Speaker 1: Here it is we don't go to the Bible like that.
Speaker 1: We need to read it in context, and we need
Speaker 1: to start at the beginning and move through in some
Speaker 1: kind of systematic system of moving book to book consecutively
Speaker 1: reading in context. Now, what you're going to find when
Speaker 1: you're doing that is a lot of stuff about marriage,
Speaker 1: and a lot of stuff about inner faith marriage like
Speaker 1: you said in your subjecline, and a lot of stuff
Speaker 1: about well suffering like you're going through. First Corinthians six
Speaker 1: and seven is going to be specific for you, and
Speaker 1: it's going to stay. It's going to tell you to stay,
Speaker 1: stay and be faithful to him, and perhaps he could
Speaker 1: be saved through you through your faith. That's what it says.
Speaker 1: And I want to correct a couple of things that
Speaker 1: you said. One, you said, I don't think he'll ever
Speaker 1: accept Christ false. You don't know that. Second, where's the
Speaker 1: other word? Oh? Or or me being a Christian? I
Speaker 1: don't think he'll ever accept Christ false? Or me being
Speaker 1: a Christian false? And then you said again earlier in
Speaker 1: that paragraph, the problem is my husband would never accept
Speaker 1: this false. Jesus spoke about this many times. But you
Speaker 1: remember the whole the whole time, Jesus was talking about
Speaker 1: how it is is more difficult for a rich person
Speaker 1: to go to heaven than a camel through the eye
Speaker 1: of a needle. And his disciples were blown away by this.
Speaker 1: They couldn't believe it. And and he was talking about
Speaker 1: the heart. He was talking about someone that is, that
Speaker 1: is attached to riches, that is that finds their identity
Speaker 1: and wealth will never make it. And and they're all
Speaker 1: looking at each other, like, how much money do you
Speaker 1: have in the bank. I'm speaking figuratively, they're thinking how
Speaker 1: much how many goats do you have? And and they're
Speaker 1: all kind of looking like man, almost everybody I know
Speaker 1: has money of some sort. I know, I know that
Speaker 1: these were poor shepherd men and fishermen. But at the
Speaker 1: same time, look at Matthew over there. The guy's a
Speaker 1: task collector. He's got he's got cash, and and they're
Speaker 1: kind of mumbling and grumbling to themselves, and they say, Lord,
Speaker 1: then who will ever be saved? Jesus looks at him
Speaker 1: and says, with man, it's impossible, but with God, all
Speaker 1: things are possible. So he's saying what he's saying to
Speaker 1: them right there is oh, this whole, this whole salvation thing. Uh,
Speaker 1: it's not up to you. It's not up to you.
Speaker 1: It's up to God. And so the people that you
Speaker 1: think could be so far from this, like this guy's
Speaker 1: never gonna believe. Uh you wait, just wait, That's what
Speaker 1: God's saying. I could do anything I could. I could
Speaker 1: turn the hardest heart, I could pierce it. What you
Speaker 1: gotta worry about is the people that already say they're Christians.
Speaker 1: That's the harder people. And the people who go I'm
Speaker 1: already Christian, don't don't worry. Yeah, they get Jesus, Gospel,
Speaker 1: resurrection and cross I got it anyway, those are the
Speaker 1: I would think that those people are a little harder
Speaker 1: than the guy that's that's so you cannot pierce his heart,
Speaker 1: kind of like the German that I'm talking to. Let
Speaker 1: me give you something else here. There's just a great
Speaker 1: book called Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus. Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's a fantastic book. And you you got to read this.
Speaker 1: You got to get this on Amazon today the day
Speaker 1: you hear this podcast. It is so good and you're
Speaker 1: gonna have you. I hope that it creates and for
Speaker 1: everybody listening, this is just a great read for anybody.
Speaker 1: But it's gonna just give you a new love for
Speaker 1: the for the Muslim people, for the people of Islam.
Speaker 1: It's gonna give you a new heart for them. And
Speaker 1: that's what I hope. That's what I hope that you're
Speaker 1: hearing right now. And I hope that you read that
Speaker 1: in this book. If you get it, Seeking Ali, Finding Jesus,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna got a love for them. And and
Speaker 1: it makes you want to if you have a Muslim
Speaker 1: family in your street right now, in your apartment complex
Speaker 1: or down the road, it makes you just want to
Speaker 1: say I don't wanna, I wanna. I want to cook
Speaker 1: some food them and invite them over this coming Thursday
Speaker 1: and have dinner with them, just just talk to them,
Speaker 1: just bring them into the community so they don't feel
Speaker 1: like they're outcast here in this country. It's gonna start there.
Speaker 1: It's gonna start with love. And I think that's the's
Speaker 1: where it's gonna start for all of us in our
Speaker 1: community with Islam, Christians dealing with Islam. And then it's
Speaker 1: gonna especially you and your home. It's gonna start with love,
Speaker 1: and it's gonna be all about love. And that's that's
Speaker 1: the conversation this is gonna be. And so how do
Speaker 1: you how do you best love him? And I'll tell
Speaker 1: you how you don't by leaving him, because if you
Speaker 1: leave him, Hannah, if you leave him, he's in a lot,
Speaker 1: a lot more difficult situation for to be saved once again.
Speaker 1: With man, it's impossible. But just through the scenario, if
Speaker 1: you if we think about it with human minds, it
Speaker 1: would be a lot harder for him if you left him,
Speaker 1: because then he would just say there he goes that
Speaker 1: Christian goodbye. Time to marry me A good one, A
Speaker 1: good woman. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: end that there. I don't think there's more I can
Speaker 1: add to that, but I just love him. We're gonna
Speaker 1: take a break and be right back. Thanks for listening
Speaker 1: to the podcast. Y'all so excited to finally say that
Speaker 1: my book Like a River comes out August twenty twenty three.
Speaker 1: You could pre order it right now wherever you love
Speaker 1: to get your books, like Amazon, and if you're not
Speaker 1: a paper book reader, you could also listen to the
Speaker 1: audiobook which I'm currently working on for August first, and
Speaker 1: that's going to have some ad libbing in it as well,
Speaker 1: so that might be a nice little thing to have
Speaker 1: both if you want, and hopefully you'll be able to
Speaker 1: do just that. And it's a conversation starter piece. That's
Speaker 1: what I want this book to be. It's my journey
Speaker 1: in detail over the last four years and what happened
Speaker 1: to me starting with the death of my son River.
Speaker 1: So I'm just very encouraged to be able to get
Speaker 1: you this story for anyone that might be hurting or
Speaker 1: needing more information on how you could make it through
Speaker 1: grief and see the purpose in your pain. On top
Speaker 1: of that if you ever need a message from me,
Speaker 1: a personal message from me, cameo dot com is a
Speaker 1: great way to do. I could make a video message
Speaker 1: personalized for you or anyone you want me to send
Speaker 1: it to, for any different occasion, personalized exactly what you
Speaker 1: want me to say. Go to cameo dot com slash
Speaker 1: Granger Smith or download the cameo app c am eo
Speaker 1: and search for me Granger Smith. And then lastly, sponsoring
Speaker 1: this podcast is yee Ye Apparel. Don't be mistaken, I'm
Speaker 1: leaving country music touring, but not Yee Yee'. That's my
Speaker 1: family's company, so that doesn't require touring to keep that going.
Speaker 1: So we're so excited to keep Ye Apparel moving forward
Speaker 1: into the future representing faith, family, outdoors. And if you
Speaker 1: ever need anything yee related, always go toyee dot com.
Speaker 1: Back to the podcast. Okay, back to these questions. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go to the first one, the random one that
Speaker 1: pops up. Subject line says forgiving my dad, Hey Granger,
Speaker 1: my name is Zach and when I was young, I
Speaker 1: grew up with an alcoholic father who was also abusive.
Speaker 1: My parents was finally divorced when I was six and
Speaker 1: he went in and out of my life until I
Speaker 1: turned eighteen. When I turned eighteen, he stated he wanted
Speaker 1: nothing to do with me or my brother and never
Speaker 1: contact and to never contact him again. That caught me
Speaker 1: off guard. Not that he was the best father, but
Speaker 1: he was still my father. Now, at thirty five years old,
Speaker 1: I find myself contemplating reaching out to him and forgiving.
Speaker 1: But if I find him and he answers that phone,
Speaker 1: what do I even say? It's been seventeen years. Thank you, Zach. Zach.
Speaker 1: I'm so pleased with you, and I love your heart
Speaker 1: in this and I'm happy that you emailed, and I'm
Speaker 1: happy you included the podcast in this because I would
Speaker 1: just want to commend you and just say, do you
Speaker 1: know how you know how difficult it is to have
Speaker 1: the courage to do what you're doing, to even suggest this,
Speaker 1: to even think of about this. I just want it
Speaker 1: takes incredible bravery, incredible courage, incredible self denial that you
Speaker 1: have done. And I hope people listen that are in
Speaker 1: a similar situation as you, Zach. I hope people hear
Speaker 1: this and just say, yeah, it's me, because I know
Speaker 1: a lot of people are in this situation. And I
Speaker 1: hope people hear it and go, yeah, that's me. He
Speaker 1: grew up with a dad like that, and he left
Speaker 1: and he's gone, and maybe I should think like Zach
Speaker 1: and think, God, I should call him. I should give
Speaker 1: him a call. So it takes. The reason I say
Speaker 1: it takes incredible self denial is because the stronger emotion
Speaker 1: that we fall in, wretched humans, including me, the stronger
Speaker 1: emotion that we lead with is self preservation. Like, ain't
Speaker 1: no way I'm calling that guy. You know what he
Speaker 1: did to me. You know what he did to me,
Speaker 1: you know how he hurt me, you know how he
Speaker 1: kicked me out of out of his life and did
Speaker 1: whatever to brother and mom, and you know what he
Speaker 1: you know what that guy did. There ain't no way
Speaker 1: I'm calling that guy. So that's that's the loud mouth
Speaker 1: of motion that we have. We all have that voice
Speaker 1: in our head, right and to shut that voice up
Speaker 1: to the to the quieter voice that the more reasonable
Speaker 1: voice that says the right thing to do would be
Speaker 1: to reach out to him. That's incredible. It takes incredible
Speaker 1: courage that you have done that and you're hearing that voice.
Speaker 1: And so so let's do this Okay, Zach, let's walk
Speaker 1: through this together, and I would love for you to
Speaker 1: do it and then report back so we could read
Speaker 1: it on this podcast, so that maybe we could all
Speaker 1: could hear how it went down. Okay, first things first,
Speaker 1: what to expect? Destroy any kind of expectations, right, It
Speaker 1: destroy x expectations of how he's going to react because
Speaker 1: you can't control it at all. So let's just pretend
Speaker 1: he's going to be hateful towards you if he answers
Speaker 1: it all, if he even replies at all, let's just
Speaker 1: say that he's going to go, Zach, get out of here. Man. Okay,
Speaker 1: I think there's a really good chance that he won't
Speaker 1: do that. Seventeen years is a long time to soften
Speaker 1: a hard heart, and so I would I would be
Speaker 1: shocked if he did. But let's expect him to that
Speaker 1: way when he is you, go, well, Dad, I'm reaching
Speaker 1: out to you because I haven't. I haven't keep it
Speaker 1: on Keep it on you, right, don't put it on him,
Speaker 1: don't say you didn't do that, you didn't keep it
Speaker 1: on yourself, and go because I haven't reached out in
Speaker 1: seventeen years and I'm thirty five years old and I'm
Speaker 1: working here, I'm married to this girl, got this kid,
Speaker 1: whatever you got going on, give him a little bit
Speaker 1: of that. I mean, come on, he's your dad. What Dad,
Speaker 1: deep down by a logically, doesn't just go my son's
Speaker 1: doing well, my legacy, my seed is doing well, that's great.
Speaker 1: What Dad doesn't want to hear that he's gonna be
Speaker 1: ashamed that he has put you out for so long.
Speaker 1: But go in and make it about him and less
Speaker 1: about you, meaning, go into this thinking I'm the one
Speaker 1: that hasn't reached out in seventeen years, right, And that's
Speaker 1: hard to do that because you're gonna want to blame them,
Speaker 1: especially if he gets mad. Don't retaliate the anger. Just say,
Speaker 1: Dad just wanted to tell you. I think about you
Speaker 1: often and I love you not because of what you've done,
Speaker 1: but because of who you are. You're my pops, and
Speaker 1: if you ever need anything, reach out. Okay, here's my number,
Speaker 1: here's my email. Love to talk, Love to grab some
Speaker 1: coffee sometime. Don't say grab a beer, bad joke. I'd
Speaker 1: love to grab some coffee with you sometime. Dad, leave
Speaker 1: it open ended, you don't, hey, Maybe even leave him
Speaker 1: a voice message like that. If he doesn't answer, but
Speaker 1: just man, Zach, I just think it's a great thing
Speaker 1: you're doing. And there's so much healing with you. Man,
Speaker 1: that's the thing. There's so much healing that's going to
Speaker 1: happen with you as you get this monkey off your
Speaker 1: shoulders and you just go, Dad, I love you that
Speaker 1: you will heal tremendously from this and old scars that
Speaker 1: you don't even maybe you don't even know are there.
Speaker 1: You're just letting it go. I'm all about this. If
Speaker 1: you can't tell yet, I'm all about this. Let's grab
Speaker 1: another one here. The subject line in this one says,
Speaker 1: I worry about my kids that grandjoar. My name is Cassie.
Speaker 1: I'm a mom of two amazing kids. I have a
Speaker 1: two year old son and a six month old daughter.
Speaker 1: I've never been someone who had anxiety or worries too
Speaker 1: much about the future, but when it comes to my kids,
Speaker 1: I worry about them so much. I work full time,
Speaker 1: and I get worried about their safety when I'm not
Speaker 1: with them, even though that they're with trusted family. The
Speaker 1: biggest thing that gets me worried is when they're sick.
Speaker 1: I pray for God to watch over them. Every day
Speaker 1: I pray that God helps me come to Him instead
Speaker 1: of worrying. What do you do when you begin to
Speaker 1: worry about your kids? Are just worry in general? I
Speaker 1: would appreciate any advice that you have. Thank you so much, Cassie. Cassie,
Speaker 1: thank you for the email. First thing for you. I
Speaker 1: was a little surprised when you said when you brought
Speaker 1: up God, because it because because I don't think you
Speaker 1: know who he is. Yeah, I don't think you know
Speaker 1: who God is. Don't mean I don't mean to offend you,
Speaker 1: and I hope that doesn't. But I would like you
Speaker 1: to read Philippians Paul's letter to the Philippians. It's very
Speaker 1: short and you'll be able to read it in ten
Speaker 1: or fifteen minutes. But oh it's great. Philippians is so
Speaker 1: good for worry and anxiety. But we need to know
Speaker 1: who God is. We need to know that He is
Speaker 1: a big, sovereign God, providential God, meaning God is. Let
Speaker 1: me just stop there, God Is. I made a video
Speaker 1: about this. It's on mye YouTube page. God Is. Have
Speaker 1: you ever thought about that? Just thinking about those two
Speaker 1: words put together will blow your mind. And this is
Speaker 1: not a small God. This is not a God that
Speaker 1: that accidents happen to. This is not a God that's
Speaker 1: playing ketchup to people that have people that have made mistakes,
Speaker 1: and God's trying to clean up the mistakes. And here's
Speaker 1: a fallacy. Is the idea. Not I'm not blaming you,
Speaker 1: but here's the an idea that you would need to
Speaker 1: pray more over everything so that you should more over everything,
Speaker 1: but so that you don't miss anything and God doesn't
Speaker 1: miss it. You see what I'm saying. We pray for
Speaker 1: God's will to be done, because it will be done
Speaker 1: on earth as it is in heaven. It will be
Speaker 1: His providence will happen, His sovereignty will happen. He knows
Speaker 1: every hair on your head. He knows the day's left
Speaker 1: in your life. He knows the expiration date that you
Speaker 1: carry right now. There is a second There is a
Speaker 1: moment of your life when you will die, and he
Speaker 1: knows that moment. He's already planned it. Think about that
Speaker 1: for a second. Let me tell you the second part
Speaker 1: of this. He works everything to his glory for the
Speaker 1: greater good, and the greater good is for his glory.
Speaker 1: Think about that. He knows every hair on your head,
Speaker 1: He knows every day left in your life. He is
Speaker 1: providential over everything, totally planning and purposing, totally sovereign. He
Speaker 1: is outside of time, so he sees all this and
Speaker 1: he's always known it, and he's working everything for a
Speaker 1: greater good, for his glory. If you could meditate on that,
Speaker 1: if you could just wrap your brain around that, it
Speaker 1: demolishes worry and anxiety. Why because we get caught up
Speaker 1: in this idea that, Oh God, and help me have
Speaker 1: a safe trip to the grocery store, and and God
Speaker 1: helped me find a parking place. And then when I'm
Speaker 1: in there, oh God, help me find that the right
Speaker 1: fruit that doesn't have worms in it. And then God
Speaker 1: make sure that Oh God, I hope that I have enough.
Speaker 1: Pray that I have enough checking account money so that
Speaker 1: when I get the groceries. And then when I go out,
Speaker 1: pray that somebody hasn't keyed my car because that would
Speaker 1: just be terrible. And then God, I pray that I
Speaker 1: have a safe And it's like, you're going over this
Speaker 1: checklist so that just in case you miss something that
Speaker 1: could be the thing that does you in And you
Speaker 1: face God one day and he goes, oh yeah, sorry
Speaker 1: about the car accident. You prayed for everything but that,
Speaker 1: and you didn't. You didn't pray for a car on
Speaker 1: the coming up with the wrong direction on the on
Speaker 1: ramp and it hits you head on and you died. Eh,
Speaker 1: you forgot to pray for that. I can't I can't
Speaker 1: work unless you say their magic prayer. You know. It's
Speaker 1: like God's the slot machine, you're just like, or you
Speaker 1: pull the lever, or he's the vending machine. You got
Speaker 1: to hit C twenty eight and he gives you the
Speaker 1: Dorrido chips. We have made God into this. People didn't
Speaker 1: used to think this way, but we have made God
Speaker 1: small and weak and impotent, and we make this is
Speaker 1: this is crazy and that sometimes this gets controversial, but
Speaker 1: it's my podcast. But sometimes we we have given God's
Speaker 1: greatest attribute to be love. So we say his greatest attribute,
Speaker 1: the pinnacle of everything that he is, is love. And
Speaker 1: we go further and to show his love the pinnacle
Speaker 1: of his all of his attributes, which is false, it's false,
Speaker 1: but we have given him this. And you heard you
Speaker 1: hear people preaching this and teaching this. It's all over Instagram.
Speaker 1: It's a Oliver podcast, except this podcast the pinnacle of
Speaker 1: his attributes is love, and to the greatest gift that
Speaker 1: he gives to humanity is free will. And he gives
Speaker 1: humanity free will because without the choice to choose against him,
Speaker 1: then it cannot be love for him. So he gives
Speaker 1: us free will. And then when we mess it up,
Speaker 1: he can't stop it because he gave us free will,
Speaker 1: and that's the greatest gift. And he would never violate
Speaker 1: the greatest gift so that he could stop something that
Speaker 1: we have chosen out of our precious free will, because
Speaker 1: it's not love if he does, because love is his
Speaker 1: greatest attribute. So if he's only a loving God, if
Speaker 1: he gives us free will, will I want you to see,
Speaker 1: And there might be a lot of people that believe that,
Speaker 1: but I want you. I want you to see how
Speaker 1: quickly that breaks down when you actually read the scripture,
Speaker 1: actually read the Bible, and you'll see thousands of times
Speaker 1: how God knows, God plans, God directs the steps of man. Right.
Speaker 1: We see this over and over and over. God is
Speaker 1: the Alpha and the Omega. He is God from the
Speaker 1: beginning to the end. Everything is his plan. Nothing happens
Speaker 1: outside of his will, even evil that he ordains for
Speaker 1: a greater good, for his glory. I could prove this.
Speaker 1: I'm getting off track, but I could prove it in anything,
Speaker 1: anything God needed. No, I don't want to say that
Speaker 1: God allowed for a redemption plan for his people because
Speaker 1: it was the best way to do it, because he's God.
Speaker 1: But in order to have redemption and the plan for redemption,
Speaker 1: in order for the gift of forgiveness, right, there needed
Speaker 1: to be a fall, and there needed to be mistakes made.
Speaker 1: And so through that, through the redemption, through the suffering.
Speaker 1: There's the connection between suffering and redemption and being restored
Speaker 1: and being redeemed and being healed and being renewed. How
Speaker 1: can you do any of those things if you're not
Speaker 1: broken to begin with. So he ordains it. And when
Speaker 1: you know things like this, when you believe a big,
Speaker 1: glorious God like this, when that's the God that you know,
Speaker 1: then you go. God, we pray for your will to
Speaker 1: be done, and we trust you, and our hope is
Speaker 1: in you, not in my weakness, not in my silly
Speaker 1: grocery store prayer that someone doesn't key my car. You're
Speaker 1: a great God, and you have the whole world in
Speaker 1: your hand, including my kids, and including these these little
Speaker 1: sicknesses that I get so worried about. God, remove this
Speaker 1: anxiety from me, because I the more I worry, the
Speaker 1: more I'm revealing that I don't know who you are
Speaker 1: and I don't trust you. It's like when I'm with
Speaker 1: my kids and they're like, Daddy, why are we going
Speaker 1: this way? And I know it's the right way, and
Speaker 1: I said, because this is the right way. And I said, no, Daddy,
Speaker 1: you're going the wrong way. I say, hold my hand
Speaker 1: and trust me. No to Daddy, you're going the wrong way.
Speaker 1: We've all been there as parents, and we go. Will
Speaker 1: you trust me. I'm taking you down the right path.
Speaker 1: You might not like it. It might be uncomfortable for you,
Speaker 1: but I know that it is the right path. And
Speaker 1: that's what we do all the time with God. I'm
Speaker 1: not blaming you, Cassie. I'm not blaming you, but I'm
Speaker 1: saying your anxiety over these little sicknesses that your kids
Speaker 1: have is revealing you don't trust who God is as
Speaker 1: revealed in the Bible. So the more you read the Bible,
Speaker 1: the more you make it a purpose that you actually
Speaker 1: read it, the more you see who He is, and
Speaker 1: the more you just go go. You are God and
Speaker 1: I am not, and I will worship you for that,
Speaker 1: and I will trust you as much as it's hard
Speaker 1: to do, as much as I want to worry, because
Speaker 1: my little finite mind wants to worry. I trust you,
Speaker 1: and I give these children to your hands, not mine.
Speaker 1: That was the longest way to answer your question. But Cassie,
Speaker 1: I know that's the right answer. And by the way,
Speaker 1: I do hope that I rustled some feathers with that
Speaker 1: free will commentary because it is true, and it is
Speaker 1: a fallacy in this country worldwide right now, and it
Speaker 1: is it is what is keeping the prosperity Gospel, and
Speaker 1: what is keeping the secret sensitive churches, and it is
Speaker 1: what is keeping cultural Christianity that I was trapped in
Speaker 1: for so long alive. And it is not the God
Speaker 1: as revealed in the Bible. By the way you might ask,
Speaker 1: you said grandeur. You said that we have claimed that
Speaker 1: love is its greatest attribute. Well, but you say it's
Speaker 1: not what is I say, God is holy, God is just,
Speaker 1: God is love. God is all of these things maxed out.
Speaker 1: But he's not one more than another. He's all of them.
Speaker 1: God is Wrap your brain around that we have to
Speaker 1: understand that if he's all love and not as much
Speaker 1: just or not as much wrath, are not as much
Speaker 1: merciful or not as much forgiving, are not as much
Speaker 1: all knowing. If we take anything away, the scales tip
Speaker 1: and he's not God anymore. He's making mistakes now. He's
Speaker 1: leaning towards his dependencies now because he's needing to satisfy
Speaker 1: one part of his attributes. It's a little heavier than
Speaker 1: the other, and so he's making mistakes. He's catching up,
Speaker 1: but he is already perfect. He's not growing or learning.
Speaker 1: You cannot perfect something that's already perfect. And what I
Speaker 1: need to do is move on because I'm preaching now. Please,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, guys, sometimes I get a little bit,
Speaker 1: a little bit too much. Le'm me trying to find
Speaker 1: another one here. Some decline to this, one, says podcast
Speaker 1: Parentheses Guidance. Hey Grangeer, my name is Skyler. I live
Speaker 1: in Long Branch, Texas, or excuse me, Spring Branch, Texas.
Speaker 1: I have been with my boyfriend for five years now,
Speaker 1: and he's a man of few words. He loves guns
Speaker 1: and trucks. He's simple. I need help with him when
Speaker 1: we go out with friends. I feel shy and he's
Speaker 1: You said guilty. What was guilty? Maybe I don't know
Speaker 1: that word. I feel shy, guilty, Oh guilty, You probably
Speaker 1: mean guilty. I feel shy and guilty that he's a
Speaker 1: quiet man. I feel as if my friends are judging
Speaker 1: him for not saying anything and bold letters you wrote this.
Speaker 1: How do I ignore a move on from how I
Speaker 1: feel from others? I'm tired of worrying how others feel.
Speaker 1: M Skyler, thank you for email. And there's there's some
Speaker 1: problems going on here and I'm not really sure what
Speaker 1: the main problem is. From your email, you say you've
Speaker 1: been here with your boyfriend for five years, and then
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, wow, why that long without an engagement?
Speaker 1: But you know me by now. And then you say
Speaker 1: your boyfriend is a man of few words, loves guns
Speaker 1: and trucks, he's simple, sounds like a country boy. And
Speaker 1: you say when you go out with friends. Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: starting to understand. You go out with friends and you're
Speaker 1: a little bit embarrassed that he is quiet and shy,
Speaker 1: and you feel like your friends are going to judge
Speaker 1: him because he's quiet and shy, and you want to
Speaker 1: just ignore the friends and move on, but you worry
Speaker 1: about what they think. Okay, I got it, I got it.
Speaker 1: I got it. It just took me. I'm a little slow.
Speaker 1: It took me a second. If you go out with friends,
Speaker 1: let me say this bluntly. If you go out with
Speaker 1: friends with your boyfriend who you love, who is a simple,
Speaker 1: quiet man that you've been with for five years, and
Speaker 1: they judge him for not saying much, you need new friends, bluntly,
Speaker 1: then those are not your friends. If you're going to
Speaker 1: go out with people that judge your boyfriend because he
Speaker 1: doesn't talk that much and you love him, then they
Speaker 1: don't love you because they should go say, oh, Skyler,
Speaker 1: this is your boyfriend. Oh man, if you love him,
Speaker 1: we love them too, because that's how close we are.
Speaker 1: That's how we feel about you, Skyler. We are so
Speaker 1: close with you that what you like. And if you
Speaker 1: trust him and you love him and you think he's
Speaker 1: a sweet guy, then we love him too. That's how
Speaker 1: it should be. And if they don't, if they're judging him,
Speaker 1: it's time for new friends. Okay, that's it. That's easy. Easy.
Speaker 1: But here's what's not easy. Here's the harder part. Maybe
Speaker 1: you're projecting this on your friends, like maybe they're not
Speaker 1: judging them, maybe they're not thinking that at all, but
Speaker 1: maybe you're projecting that on them. And then you get worried,
Speaker 1: and then internally you get all clammed up and you think, oh,
Speaker 1: they're he My boyfriend's not saying anything, and I'm embarrassed
Speaker 1: of him, and my friends are probably judging even though
Speaker 1: they're not saying it, they might be. And now this
Speaker 1: is making me so uncomfortable, and I wish my boyfriend
Speaker 1: would just talk, but he just sits there, and my
Speaker 1: friends are so judgmental. And then you're in the middle
Speaker 1: of this and the reality is possibly nobody's even saying anything,
Speaker 1: including your boyfriend who doesn't talk much at all. You see,
Speaker 1: the problem could be you, and you're misreading the situation
Speaker 1: and so just being comfortable with him not saying anything
Speaker 1: because you're not going to change him, and you might
Speaker 1: want him to talk more, but he's just not. Let
Speaker 1: me ask you a final question. You say he loves
Speaker 1: guns and trucks. He's simple. Are you into those things?
Speaker 1: I guarantee you you learn just a little bit about trucks,
Speaker 1: you can get him talking. So my goal for you,
Speaker 1: my challenge to you, Skyler, is that you start learning
Speaker 1: a little bit about trucks, because every guy could talk
Speaker 1: about trucks, and if he loves that, if that's in
Speaker 1: the top two things that you think he loves, learn
Speaker 1: about that. That's a good advice for anyone with their
Speaker 1: spouas or with their significant other. Go out of your
Speaker 1: way sometimes to learn a little bit about something that
Speaker 1: they love that you don't necessarily care for. That is
Speaker 1: such a great way to show love, to show compassion.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we think it needs to come in the form
Speaker 1: of buying gifts or lavishing other things or quality time.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it comes in the form of learning something that
Speaker 1: they love just for their sake. That's such a selfless
Speaker 1: thing to do. And I think you might find that
Speaker 1: he's going to open up a lot more and that
Speaker 1: might even lead to new friends that like trucks. Just
Speaker 1: a thought for you, Skyler, and I appreciate you emailing,
Speaker 1: and thank all you guys for emailing. I love your
Speaker 1: questions and I love doing this and you can email
Speaker 1: me Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. We're on the
Speaker 1: countdown now for August first, when Like a River at
Speaker 1: the book comes out so excited for that, So we'll
Speaker 1: continue looking down the road to August first, twenty twenty three.
Speaker 1: That's the year we're in. And just in case, this
Speaker 1: podcast how you listen way down the road. But we're
Speaker 1: looking forward to that. And I love you guys, and
Speaker 1: thank you for the opportunity to bring me into your lives.
Speaker 1: See thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast.
Speaker 1: I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me
Speaker 1: out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and
Speaker 1: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload
Speaker 1: a video. If you have a question for me that
Speaker 1: you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Yigi