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Speaker 1: This is Teddy. Hey guys, it's Teddy mellon camp here

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Speaker 1: and I have Sam Rubin joining me today for the

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Speaker 1: second jam packed episode of Teddy Podcast. It's genuinely jam

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Speaker 1: packed crazy, I mean jam packed. I mean we had

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Speaker 1: we had some learning curves of our our original font

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Speaker 1: on the podcast. Everybody thought it was Teddy peepoo instead

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Speaker 1: of Teddy pepod. So what they because we're spilling the

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Speaker 1: tea and everyone thought it was Teddy tepoo because of

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Speaker 1: the because apparently p o d all in caps looks

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Speaker 1: like Pooh. But we learned that the hard way. But

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Speaker 1: you know, we learned from our mistakes over here. Tepoo

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Speaker 1: is not a terrible name. You know what. I've spent

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Speaker 1: considerall time now in the studio with with Teddy, and

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Speaker 1: I can reveal that she has not evacuate fashion. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to try to keep that as a joke. Okay, perfect.

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Speaker 1: Today we're going to dig into a lot of things

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Speaker 1: that you want to know. I mean, I have become

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Speaker 1: obsessed with learning about Katherine Oxenburg and the Nexium sex cult,

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Speaker 1: and she's going to be joining us today along with

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Speaker 1: a lot of other things. I watched last night's keeping

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Speaker 1: up with Kardashians, and I'm with Scott here. He was

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Speaker 1: pissed about the spanking comment that Corey made. We got

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Speaker 1: to dig into that. Wow. So in lighter news, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I need to have some red Carpet questions for you.

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Speaker 1: I did this Terrence Howard interview on the Emmy Red Carpet.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I need so much information on this because

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Speaker 1: I mean I googled some things like, you know, the

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Speaker 1: Flower of Life, and Imma just came up that he

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Speaker 1: wasn't talking about. Well, you know, it was It was

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Speaker 1: funny because we actually had this perfectly lucid cut. We

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Speaker 1: do this red carpet show can letely live, which is

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Speaker 1: exactly how I prefer, and I like the idea that

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Speaker 1: you never know what's gonna come up. But we were

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Speaker 1: in a commercial break and he came up and we

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Speaker 1: had this, just as you and I are talking right now,

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Speaker 1: this very lucid conversation as parents do about health insurance

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Speaker 1: and the SAG after the Screen Actors Guild, American Federation

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Speaker 1: of Television Radio Artist health insurance. And you know one

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Speaker 1: I have four kids is you know you can go

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Speaker 1: to rehab a thousand times, but you can't get braces

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Speaker 1: for your kids. So like it's like I trade the

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Speaker 1: rehab thing and um. And he was saying and this

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Speaker 1: was so interesting and maybe you should have been a clue.

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Speaker 1: He was talking about everything his character had been through.

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Speaker 1: Lucius had been through an empire, almost as if he goes,

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Speaker 1: was he in character at the moment? I don't know,

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Speaker 1: but he was like, well, you know, as you know,

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Speaker 1: I've lost a son, I've you know, had another jump

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Speaker 1: off a bridge, I had a baby with a baby mama.

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Speaker 1: And I mean maybe that could be real life too,

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Speaker 1: and I need counseling, I need somebody on the set.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, we we won't. Can't you know,

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Speaker 1: can't you get that? He goes, you know, they don't

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Speaker 1: cover that? And then I said, she just a networks

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Speaker 1: fox at the production company. Imagine do they cover it?

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Speaker 1: And he's like, no, they don't. He was kind of

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Speaker 1: mad about that. And then you know that typical in

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Speaker 1: your ear three to one, Oh we're back. Oh so

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Speaker 1: he's already apped up. He was a little REVVD up,

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Speaker 1: and so the questions surrounding him had been and you know,

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Speaker 1: he's a very fine actor. You might remember hustle and

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Speaker 1: flowing a couple of things. The questions surrounding him was

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Speaker 1: he had announced that after he finishes these fifteen episodes

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Speaker 1: of Empire, he's done that he's not gonna act anymore.

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Speaker 1: And so I was like, Hey, we're back in blah

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Speaker 1: blah blah. You know, Terrence Howard is here. Hey, Terence,

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Speaker 1: when you made reference to that, are you not coming

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Speaker 1: back for a while or forever? Which I thought was

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Speaker 1: a legit thing to say, And then he sort of well,

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Speaker 1: and then just goes well. Then he goes into like

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Speaker 1: all of this math and algebra, and and I'm like, listen,

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Speaker 1: it's too early for this right now. As I that's

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Speaker 1: why I see everybody's outfits. Maybe a couple of snarky comments,

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Speaker 1: but this is a lot for me. And then what

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Speaker 1: was the thing about gravity and what was it gonna YouTube? Well,

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Speaker 1: he was he was talking about all and then I

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Speaker 1: I'll polish my own halo. So he's just going off

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Speaker 1: and in lieu of saying, you know, you're insane, what

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Speaker 1: are you talking about? I said, which I thought was

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Speaker 1: the right thing to say. I said, gee, that's a

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Speaker 1: big remark. I heard that, which I love, and then

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Speaker 1: he was like he that like almost fueled his ego.

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Speaker 1: Like he was like, oh, yeah it is. You want

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Speaker 1: to hear what else I gotta say? I mean, I've

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Speaker 1: got I've got YouTube things like I you know, I

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Speaker 1: want to prove gravity isn't a force. I'm like, I

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Speaker 1: tell my pregnant belly that because you know what it

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Speaker 1: feels like, whine. So anyway, he kind of went on,

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Speaker 1: and then you know, he was getting a star which

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Speaker 1: has since taking place on the Hollywood Walk of Fame,

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Speaker 1: and he said on Tuesday, when he gets that star,

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Speaker 1: he was gonna somehow eliminate all gravity from Saturn or

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Speaker 1: proved that sad and didn't require gravity or something, and

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Speaker 1: he was going to release a big tape on YouTube

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Speaker 1: and all of that, of course turned out not to

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Speaker 1: be happening. Not happening. And then I'm not familiar with

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Speaker 1: You'll know the word I'm about to say, but I'm

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Speaker 1: not familiar with the everything surrounding it. You you might

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Speaker 1: be a lot of people are texted and tweeted in

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Speaker 1: Oh it's ayahuasca talking. Oh he's doing okay, So I

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Speaker 1: have heard of this. I I it's something where you

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Speaker 1: take a drug and it's supposed to rid you of

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Speaker 1: all of these negative energies, but you can also kind

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Speaker 1: of like trip out on it. Right, That's what I understand,

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Speaker 1: which like, for me, if that's even like a percent

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Speaker 1: chance is going to happen, it's gonna rid me of anything.

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Speaker 1: But there's also the tripping out factor. I'm I'm good,

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Speaker 1: I'll keep my negative energy or my issues. You trip out,

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Speaker 1: hallucinate and no, no, I understand by the way, the beautiful,

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Speaker 1: the beautiful Amy sugarman um chiming in. Have you tried

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Speaker 1: I've never even had some avolcohol, but I do think

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Speaker 1: I like the polite phrase it caused us you to

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Speaker 1: fully evacuate, you know what. I don't know that I

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Speaker 1: need to fully evacuate. I feel like I'm fine with

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Speaker 1: where I am. Some issues, you know, sometimes it comes

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Speaker 1: out and anger to happiness whatever. But okay, do you

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Speaker 1: think he may be tried this right before the Red

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Speaker 1: Carpet what. I don't think he did that, But I

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Speaker 1: think people were saying that the language is such that

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Speaker 1: you know, Jesus when you when you're doing that, this

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Speaker 1: is what happened. This is the way they talk. So

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, that's intense. And then when

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Speaker 1: he walked away from you, were you trying to like

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Speaker 1: eavesdrop on his conversation with everybody else? You know what?

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Speaker 1: Funnily enough, fashion wise, he looked fantastic. He had a

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Speaker 1: great vest and the vest tied in the back like

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Speaker 1: he was a pirate or something. It was a really

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Speaker 1: good outfit. Do we think that anybody like message him like, Hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm waiting for the info Tuesday, like where is that?

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Speaker 1: Like I still want to know where. I was like gonna,

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Speaker 1: I was gonna watch it, but it wasn't there. It

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Speaker 1: wasn't there. No, And I thought, you know, when you

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Speaker 1: get these stars of the Walk of Fame and there's

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Speaker 1: kind of a formal ceremony, I thought surely somebody would

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Speaker 1: kind of shout out, maybe like Saturday at exactly. So, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well that was one of those things where I was like,

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Speaker 1: you handled it like a champ. I probably would have

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Speaker 1: just sat there with like a dead pan expression and

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Speaker 1: just my mouth agape. But yeah, pretty crazy. Um do

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Speaker 1: we Is there any other little tidbits we really need

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Speaker 1: to know about that? About what like what your thoughts

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Speaker 1: on it? Are we just going with? I mean, I

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Speaker 1: I feel that that's one of those rare instances where

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Speaker 1: the tape is sort of self explanatory if you you know,

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Speaker 1: you you just see it. But but what was interesting

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Speaker 1: to me is frankly more than any of the Emmy winners,

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Speaker 1: more than anything else, that seemed to generate more headlines

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Speaker 1: than anything because I because I think that people people

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Speaker 1: love crazy. Well, I was gonna say people love crazy

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Speaker 1: or people love what they perceived as real. So that

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Speaker 1: was a real obviously an unscripted moment. You couldn't write

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Speaker 1: that stuff, You couldn't plan that, you couldn't remember it.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to read it and I can't. So I

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Speaker 1: think people kind of appreciated it. But it really traveled,

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Speaker 1: I mean just everywhere. Okay, um, so let's take a

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Speaker 1: little break now before we bring on Katherine Oxenberg, which

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Speaker 1: is going to be so good. Sam, have you noticed

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Speaker 1: anything about my skin? Okay, here's the thing about you.

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Speaker 1: You're really good looking, beautiful hair, a lovely smile, but

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Speaker 1: you really do have beautiful skin. Well, thank you. Hopefully

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Speaker 1: it's glowing. Because Beauty Choose has changed the game when

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Speaker 1: it comes to skincare. They created a gummy that contains

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Speaker 1: a very unique ingredient that is scientifically proven to keep

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Speaker 1: your skin looking youthful and healthy. Do you know how

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Speaker 1: many toxins are in our daily life? Tons, pollution, caffeine,

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Speaker 1: the sun, lack of sleep, everyday, stress, I drive with

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Speaker 1: the top down. Whoa, you're really living on the edge.

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Speaker 1: This is exactly why you need Beauty Choose summies as

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Speaker 1: a part of your daily beauty routine. The unique ingredient

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Speaker 1: that Beauty Choose uses a very special red algae antioxident

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Speaker 1: and is nicknamed the Fountain of Youth. That's so my.

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Speaker 1: It's six thousand times stronger than vitamin C. It not

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Speaker 1: only slows down aging in our skin by increasing hydration

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Speaker 1: and protecting our collagen, it can actually reverse the damage

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Speaker 1: that's already been done, which is why it's never too

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Speaker 1: late to start today. Could be your dad, all right?

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Speaker 1: Very delicious especially, I mean it tastes like fruit punch

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Speaker 1: and it only has one gram of sugar. I'm deeply

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Speaker 1: into Hawaiian punch. Well, then you're gonna love these. And

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Speaker 1: they're available on Amazon or through their website. And get

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Speaker 1: ten dollars off your first one month supply of Beauty Choose.

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Speaker 1: Go to your beauty Choose dot com and enter Teddy

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Speaker 1: at checkout. That's your beauty Choose dot com and enter

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Speaker 1: t E D d I at checkout. Okay, so now

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Speaker 1: we're here with Katherine Oxenberg, who has been speaking out

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Speaker 1: about her daughter's slaver role and Nexium and its secret society.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I have been blown away about all this

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Speaker 1: for for years, but more importantly, like now, digging into

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Speaker 1: your story, your daughter's story. They each Hollywood Story airs

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Speaker 1: on Sunday, October six at ten PM, and I mean

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Speaker 1: my heart was just breaking reading the story, watching the

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Speaker 1: Lifetime movie like everything I have been. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: have so many questions, but I was wondering if you

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Speaker 1: could give a little background just for our listeners and

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Speaker 1: then we'll kind of dive into the questions. So in

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Speaker 1: two thousand and eleven, I was introduced to what I

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Speaker 1: was told was a leadership program, personal development, personal development,

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Speaker 1: business kind of training. My daughter, my eldest daughter, India

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Speaker 1: at that point was ninety twenty, and I went to

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Speaker 1: an introduction. It was hosted by a gentleman called Mark Vicenti.

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Speaker 1: Actually Sarah Edmondson was there as well, who's an actress,

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Speaker 1: but he I knew because he had made a movie

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Speaker 1: called What the Bleep? So he had And this is

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Speaker 1: how these groups, these that I call cults operate. They

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Speaker 1: very often have legitimate consumer facing companies. It doesn't look

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Speaker 1: like a cult. Nobody joins that. Nobody signs up to

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Speaker 1: join a cult. You think it's a legitimate program. And

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Speaker 1: they're very often offering legitimate tools and valuable resources, or

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Speaker 1: else they would never be able to recruit people. So

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Speaker 1: we signed up. She India loved the intro. She asked

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Speaker 1: me to do it with her, so we signed up.

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Speaker 1: We did this five day class. I was really not

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Speaker 1: very impressed. This is in Los Angeles. This was in

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Speaker 1: l A and kind of a pop up home and

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Speaker 1: they had about I don't know thirty coaches, all wearing

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Speaker 1: different colored sashes and they're about twenty two students and

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Speaker 1: amongst the students were a couple of celebrities and my

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Speaker 1: telling affair, God do I well, I mean that we

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Speaker 1: kind of go deep here? Is that so deep? Okay?

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Speaker 1: Rosario somebody or other? Um and then Callum Blue, who

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Speaker 1: actually is he appears in this piece, who was one

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Speaker 1: of my dearest oldest friends and I didn't know that

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Speaker 1: he had been signed up by an actress in Vancouver,

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Speaker 1: and I think that's they It was act a lot

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Speaker 1: of people in the entertainment business referring recommending, hence Alison

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Speaker 1: mac who was in Vancouver, Um Callum was on Smallville,

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Speaker 1: so it was sort of Kristin Kruk. It was all

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Speaker 1: these people that were signing each other up. Um. I

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Speaker 1: started to see in those first five days weird things.

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Speaker 1: But I've done a lot of weird stuff. It doesn't

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Speaker 1: necessarily mean this is dangerous, and so you know, you

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Speaker 1: suspend and some of the weird stuff. Okay, the sashes

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Speaker 1: are weird because it's not a dojo. Taking your shoes off, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I asked people sometimes to take their shoes off. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna wait signing an NDA because they're saying this material

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Speaker 1: is proprietary. Okay, that's weird. And I had a problem

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Speaker 1: with that because I'm like, I can't talk to my

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Speaker 1: husband who is not in the room about things that

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Speaker 1: i'm learning. That that's bizarre. And then this mission statement

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Speaker 1: that you're supposed to read out loud, and then the

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Speaker 1: bowing and the thanking vanguard. Who is Keith Rnieri. They

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Speaker 1: have a title for him and then Nancy Salzman prefect,

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Speaker 1: who's his number two. They have titles for people, and

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Speaker 1: there's this kind of like hierarchy. There's a hierarchy. So

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Speaker 1: these things that seemed like a little I refused to say,

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Speaker 1: you know, to say the mission statement every day where

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Speaker 1: you pledge to recruit people, I'm like, I paid a

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Speaker 1: lot of money for this class. I'm under no obligation

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Speaker 1: to recruit. Every time I verbalized that I had an issue,

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Speaker 1: they would say, well, you have you a defiance issue

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Speaker 1: and they would throw it back. And that is the

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Speaker 1: beginning of how they start to make people suggestible and submissible,

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Speaker 1: is that if you have an issue, it's your problem.

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Speaker 1: It's never there's um. Now I went on and this

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Speaker 1: is where I got hooked. They do too kind of

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Speaker 1: different um things for lack of a better world. They

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Speaker 1: do these modules, which are classes, which are sort of

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Speaker 1: these philosophical questions that they put to you. And for

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Speaker 1: the most part, I would fall asleep during these exchanges.

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Speaker 1: And then they do these what are called e m

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Speaker 1: s or explorations of meanings. Are you're supposed to fall asleep? No?

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Speaker 1: And they called me disintegrated because I would fall asleep um.

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Speaker 1: And then you do these more experiential kind of psycho

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Speaker 1: psycho process yeah, whatever that are the set question sets

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Speaker 1: to um, let go of limitations, phobias, whatever, and you

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Speaker 1: and the way they pose the questions. You have these

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Speaker 1: deep emotional cathosses. Now a lot of these large group

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Speaker 1: awareness training to do this, be at Landmark, be it whatever.

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Speaker 1: This is a spposed to be an executive success problem exactly,

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Speaker 1: thank you. It was not called nix UM at that point.

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Speaker 1: It was called Executive Success program. We talked very little

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Speaker 1: about business. But let me tell you what is so key.

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Speaker 1: You're having a deep emotional experience. You automatically link these

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Speaker 1: rather banal philosophical concepts and you give them greater meaning.

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Speaker 1: And that is the beginning the first steps of indoctrination,

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Speaker 1: because what they're doing is they're building a philosophy that

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Speaker 1: is supposed to be the philosophy of Keith Rainieri, that

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Speaker 1: they build into a doctrine that is supposed to be

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Speaker 1: better than anything else. And with emotional linkage, you're engaging

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Speaker 1: parts of the brain that actually make you believe that

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Speaker 1: these are fundamentally more substantive beliefs. You never know that

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Speaker 1: and they're essentially telling you to always ignore your gut

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Speaker 1: feeling correct. Yes, So part of the exploration of meaning

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Speaker 1: is you have an issue as something and you want

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Speaker 1: to remove your reactivity because you think that's a limitation,

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Speaker 1: and what it is is your unhooking your gut. It's

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Speaker 1: the beginning of them dismantling your personality. You can really so,

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Speaker 1: you think. So once they've dismantled it, you don't want

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Speaker 1: to leave. Well, worse than that is, first they build

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Speaker 1: you up, and then they start to tell you all

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Speaker 1: the problems that you have and only they can fix you.

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Speaker 1: So then you're you, and you're you're very lucid about

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Speaker 1: all of this now as you were initially and your

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Speaker 1: daughter going through this, it doesn't seem to me that

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Speaker 1: you were able to see clearly as you're able to

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Speaker 1: see now. Okay, I was incredibly naive about cults. I

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Speaker 1: had done a lot of self help. A lot of

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Speaker 1: this reminded me of other self help programs that I've done. Um,

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Speaker 1: I'd cried on a lot of shoulders, doing various you know, processes.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't that outlandish. May I ask something that chain

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Speaker 1: of personal Was there something that happened that you and

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Speaker 1: your daughter's life that you guys were really searching for

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Speaker 1: inside of this or was it really business like wanted

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Speaker 1: your businesses to grow, or do you think there was

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Speaker 1: something you guys were looking for? I would have I

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Speaker 1: considered myself a seeker always okay, um, but I had

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Speaker 1: reached a place where I was a little bit cynical

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Speaker 1: about self help, feeling like that I'd probably you know,

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Speaker 1: there was no stone unturned. My daughter, on the other hand,

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Speaker 1: was about to launch the business, and so really for her,

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Speaker 1: I thought it was an opportunity for her to What

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Speaker 1: they said is that it was going to help your

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Speaker 1: critical thinking, your leadership skills, and I thought it would

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Speaker 1: help her as she forged her way into the business world.

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Speaker 1: So it really was as simple as that. And we

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Speaker 1: learned very little about legitimate business. We learned a lot

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Speaker 1: about how to detect con artists, which I find very

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Speaker 1: ironically considering the whole thing was a yeah. And how

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Speaker 1: quickly into this do you think that you guys figured

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Speaker 1: out you're no longer in like a Tony Robe Robbins

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Speaker 1: as motivational retreat and you're actually going to be in

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Speaker 1: like a sex call branding women and having women's masters,

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Speaker 1: Like how okay, what's the time or what's the actual

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Speaker 1: turnaround here? Yes, this is this is the grooming process

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Speaker 1: of a predatory group or a sexual predator. So we

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Speaker 1: started taking classes in two thousand and eleven. By two

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Speaker 1: thousand and thirteen, I was done. Oh but you were

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Speaker 1: there for two years but taking classes sporadically, And there's

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Speaker 1: two different ways you could be a dilettante student, which

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Speaker 1: I was and was frowned upon, And people like Sarah

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Speaker 1: tried to recruit me relentlessly to become a coach, and

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Speaker 1: they succeeded with India who became a coach. The minute

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Speaker 1: you sign up to become a coach, you're giving them

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Speaker 1: permission to give you feedback, and feedback is constant criticism

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Speaker 1: and that's where they begin to break you down brutally.

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Speaker 1: And also I read something that like thousands and thousands

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Speaker 1: of dollars are given to this organization. Where is the

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Speaker 1: money going to? Because sometimes other cults or other religions

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Speaker 1: or whatever you want to say that they are it's

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Speaker 1: going back to give back to people or blah blah blah,

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Speaker 1: But what is where are they claiming this money as

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Speaker 1: going and didn't your daughter end up having to go

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Speaker 1: through tons and tons of tons of money? They say,

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Speaker 1: that's the whole point is to recruit people and then

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Speaker 1: to really suck them dry financially. Where the money goes

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Speaker 1: nobody knows because they consider themselves a humanitarian and you

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Speaker 1: know enterprise, and then you have the Bronfman's Sarah and

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Speaker 1: Claire Brontman, who have been members since two thousand and

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Speaker 1: three on the executive boards, basically giving them access to

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Speaker 1: hundreds of millions of dollars. And so this is just

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Speaker 1: their way of being almost like this is like a

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Speaker 1: god complex. Well it's Keith God complex for sure. And

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Speaker 1: then they worship him. They worship him and that's all

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Speaker 1: embedded in the curriculum. So nobody meets him before you've

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Speaker 1: done the foot level one, which is fifteen days. And

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Speaker 1: how do you think that your daughter got sucked in

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Speaker 1: further and you were able to escape? Like how did

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Speaker 1: that happen? And then I have to ask as a mom,

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Speaker 1: like how didn't you rip her out right away? Like

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Speaker 1: what what ends up happening? Okay, so that there's a

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Speaker 1: I could actually spend an hour with you just breaking

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Speaker 1: down those questions. But to simplify. I didn't see anything

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Speaker 1: harmful happening in the beginning, even though when she said, Mom,

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Speaker 1: I'm signing up to be a coach, I was like,

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Speaker 1: my heart sank. Then it steps by steps. I didn't

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Speaker 1: you know as a I have five kids. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I've helped mother five kids. It's not until you really

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Speaker 1: have to let them make mistakes. You can't step in

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Speaker 1: and stop them from learning their lessons. You have to

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Speaker 1: give them the dignity of their own process. But what

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Speaker 1: happened when I was told that she was in danger,

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Speaker 1: which was in April of two thousand and seventeen, and

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Speaker 1: I was told about DOSS, which was the slave Master group,

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Speaker 1: And I was told about the severe diet restriction, and

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Speaker 1: I had seen symptoms, but I had couldn't put If

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Speaker 1: you don't know what to look for, it's like if

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Speaker 1: your kid is an addict. You don't know. However, that

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Speaker 1: were seeing not often because they wouldn't let her leave

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Speaker 1: unbeknownst to me, So she had gone to another stage.

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Speaker 1: She had moved to Albany and around I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: remember it was two thousand and sixteen, but she was gone,

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Speaker 1: so I barely saw her it's fascinating to hear you

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Speaker 1: guys talk because I did a ton of research about

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Speaker 1: this and listen to this podcast called Escaping Nexium. What's

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Speaker 1: difficult about talking to Catherine is there is so much

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Speaker 1: information and so much story to tell that you get

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Speaker 1: you're getting little pieces like doss And one thing I

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Speaker 1: want to tell you guys quickly, since you're touching on

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Speaker 1: the money, is the criminal charges that have been placed

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Speaker 1: are on the racketeering charges, which basically means this is

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Speaker 1: all a racket, it's just bs illegal on how much

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Speaker 1: money did they, like, how much money was seized? Do

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Speaker 1: we know that? Well? I know how much was sees

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Speaker 1: from Nancy Salzman who was pre number two prefects around

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Speaker 1: half a million dollars. But we're talking about this is

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Speaker 1: a criminal enterprise. And ironically I was the first person

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Speaker 1: to kind of with a team of lawyers figure out

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Speaker 1: that there was racketeering going on, that there was sex trafficking.

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Speaker 1: So those original charges that I wrote to the government

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Speaker 1: are the ones they ended up being charged for. Well,

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Speaker 1: you you bring up the notion of sex trafficking. I

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Speaker 1: think a lot of people in terms of experience this

403
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Speaker 1: through the headlines. I thought it was a sex cult. Well,

404
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Speaker 1: I mean you would you could call it a sex cult, right,

405
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Speaker 1: I mean if you hear about that women are recruiting

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Speaker 1: other women to have sex with the leader? What I mean?

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Speaker 1: And right? Legitimate? How long after your daughter was like?

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Speaker 1: What was the time frame before she was branded and

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Speaker 1: into doth? Okay? So all of this I had to

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Speaker 1: find out sort of piecemeal. She's never telling you anything,

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Speaker 1: you know, she's telling now she's Oh, she was probably

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Speaker 1: branded in January of two thousand and seventeen, and I

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Speaker 1: wasn't told about her involvement until April of two thousand

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Speaker 1: and seventeen. And then once I was told what was

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Speaker 1: going on, a primal maternal instinct kicked in that I

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Speaker 1: didn't know I had. That wouldn't stop I mean, I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't stop telling. And so is that initial inclination to

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Speaker 1: call the police, to go there with a gun and

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Speaker 1: get her out, or to do what? Okay? So first

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Speaker 1: I read everything I could about cults literally in twenty

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Speaker 1: four hours. I want to see a cult specialist, and

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Speaker 1: I I structured an intervention I got I planned to

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Speaker 1: get this was in May, I guess planned to bring

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Speaker 1: India home for her birthday, which was at the end

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Speaker 1: of May. Had it all planned out? That failed? Then

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Speaker 1: I went to the police. I hit it failed because

427
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,560
Speaker 1: she didn't come home, or she came home, but she

428
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:41,360
Speaker 1: didn't want. I blew the intervention completely. And I've been

429
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:45,120
Speaker 1: warned by the expert um Rachel Bernstein. She said, don't

430
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 1: be disappointed if she gets back on the plane and

431
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 1: goes back. Don't consider it a failure. You may have

432
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:50,879
Speaker 1: planted the seeds, but she may need to figure it

433
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,800
Speaker 1: out for herself. But I was like, oh, yes, of course,

434
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 1: for those listening, why do you think you blew it? Like,

435
00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 1: what is it that you think you said or did

436
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 1: that would have changed the outcome? I said, keywords that

437
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,880
Speaker 1: have been implanted in her to put put put up defenses.

438
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,239
Speaker 1: I said, your brainwash and you're in a cult, and

439
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,399
Speaker 1: you don't say that. That's really good, really good to

440
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 1: know you don't say that. But she wasn't, She wasn't ready.

441
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,960
Speaker 1: And this is the irony. Had she seen the light

442
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:20,240
Speaker 1: in that moment and she and I had walked away

443
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,679
Speaker 1: into the sunset and left it all behind Keith row Near,

444
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:24,760
Speaker 1: he would still be operating, He would still be branding

445
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:26,720
Speaker 1: women and he would still be recruiting them for sex,

446
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:30,200
Speaker 1: and this organization would be untouched. And so the irony

447
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,680
Speaker 1: is the deeper she dug her heels in, the more

448
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,200
Speaker 1: people I had to help, the deeper I had to research,

449
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:37,240
Speaker 1: and the more crimes I am colored. Do we have

450
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:39,879
Speaker 1: any idea how many women were branded and part of

451
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:43,000
Speaker 1: the sex well, according to Keith Lawyers, around a hundred

452
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:46,920
Speaker 1: and fifty. And the range is it all across the board,

453
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,720
Speaker 1: all across the I mean, his preference is the younger,

454
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: the better, and they were strict calories to about five hundred,

455
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 1: and they he wants women thin and because that would

456
00:24:56,400 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 1: hurt him. If they're bigger, it's disgusting. So we're pulsive.

457
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:07,240
Speaker 1: And then after you finally fought to have your daughter out,

458
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:11,920
Speaker 1: how do you even how does she even move on

459
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 1: from this? How did you like? What are what are

460
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:17,159
Speaker 1: those steps like? And as a mother, what are the

461
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,720
Speaker 1: things that you can even say? Now? Well, I'll let

462
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 1: me backtrack a little bit, because there was a public

463
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 1: kind of explosion. I was out there basically outing my

464
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 1: daughter as the as the last resort because I couldn't

465
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,879
Speaker 1: get her out and she hated me, and I how

466
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:37,840
Speaker 1: did they ever threaten you, Yes, they did so I

467
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 1: received threats of look, but this is what they do,

468
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:46,840
Speaker 1: vexatious litigation from Mexico, um lawsuits threatening me of fraud, extortion.

469
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:51,480
Speaker 1: So this was whistleblower intimidation. And also I was told

470
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:53,720
Speaker 1: if I went to Mexico, I'd get killed because the

471
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:56,040
Speaker 1: leader of the cult in Mexico is the son of

472
00:25:56,040 --> 00:26:00,200
Speaker 1: the ex president. So these are very dangerous people. Think

473
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,000
Speaker 1: that's something too. And as we speak right now, I

474
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:06,840
Speaker 1: know that Alison Mack was sentenced. Um this other gentleman,

475
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 1: where is he okay? So actually they're all they're all

476
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:14,359
Speaker 1: convicted guilty, awaiting sentencing, and we just found out that

477
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 1: Claire Bronpman sentencing is January eight, and one of the

478
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 1: other ladies who was one of the accountants, I think

479
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:23,440
Speaker 1: the end of January. So we're waiting for the rest

480
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 1: of them to be sentenced. But everyone was blood guilty.

481
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:32,000
Speaker 1: So now this does not exist at all any longer. Well,

482
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:35,160
Speaker 1: this is what we don't know, That's what I was thinking.

483
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:38,920
Speaker 1: I feel like there's probably some people there that are

484
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:43,480
Speaker 1: still his you know, die hard. In my opinion, Claire

485
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:48,920
Speaker 1: Bronpman is still bankrolling next to him. And I mean

486
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 1: one of one of the things that I wanted I

487
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 1: did want to mention my book because when you talk

488
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 1: about what can parents do? I wrote the book to

489
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:59,480
Speaker 1: expose that this this organization in the advent, that the

490
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:01,520
Speaker 1: government did nothing because they dropped the ball so many

491
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:04,159
Speaker 1: times in the past because they were scared of like

492
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 1: the amount of money that was backing this group. And

493
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 1: so the book is a really good kind of roadmap

494
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:12,679
Speaker 1: for people who are going through this, who want to

495
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:16,480
Speaker 1: know how what to avoid, what what the warning signs are.

496
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,119
Speaker 1: And actually when India read it, it helped her wake up.

497
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 1: She was like, if I had had all this information,

498
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:23,240
Speaker 1: I never would have fallen pray. Did she need to

499
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:27,879
Speaker 1: go into any kind of treatment? Like what how do

500
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:31,800
Speaker 1: you recover? Okay? So it's very different than an ad

501
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:38,720
Speaker 1: an addiction recovery. Um, it's more understanding. It's an education

502
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:41,560
Speaker 1: about how this could have happened to you, Understanding the

503
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 1: grooming process, understanding indoctrination or if you want to call it, brainwashing.

504
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:48,479
Speaker 1: And I think that I'm not gonna talk about her

505
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,399
Speaker 1: specifically because I don't want to trust boss On, but

506
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:52,679
Speaker 1: what I recommend to people who are coming out of

507
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:56,639
Speaker 1: occult is that they go through a therapeutic process to

508
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 1: unpack what was done to them and how, because if

509
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:03,600
Speaker 1: you don't, you are vulnerable to stepping into another situation

510
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:09,080
Speaker 1: that is abusive and you almost miss what you've left. Right, Well,

511
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:11,520
Speaker 1: you're even though you may have left physically, you're still

512
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,960
Speaker 1: mentally hijacked because you're still under the influence of a

513
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 1: doctrine and the way you're thinking has been changed drastically

514
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 1: to the point that you can't think critically. You've become

515
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:26,360
Speaker 1: completely dependent on an outside source. That's very frightening. There

516
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:29,080
Speaker 1: are probably some people and this will sound harsh and

517
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,120
Speaker 1: I that's not my intention, will be like, well, it's

518
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 1: just the show bus, these Hollywood types, you know, you know,

519
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,680
Speaker 1: my my family here in Des Moines would never fall

520
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:40,880
Speaker 1: prey to this. What would you say to that, Well,

521
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:42,479
Speaker 1: first of all, we have to be very careful not

522
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 1: to victim shame, and I think culturally we do that

523
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 1: because we don't want to feel that we could be

524
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:51,440
Speaker 1: vulnerable to being conned. Um, luck of the draw that

525
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 1: I wasn't, and my poor daughter was, and maybe her

526
00:28:56,200 --> 00:29:00,240
Speaker 1: vulnerability was she was in transition. Transition in a relationship

527
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 1: in a in a business. But the truth is a

528
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:05,480
Speaker 1: lot of the people who are recruited into this group

529
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 1: were highly educated. They had Ivy League PhD s. These

530
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 1: were not dummies. And and very often culls go off

531
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:17,840
Speaker 1: to very productive intelligence people because they want those people

532
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 1: working on their behalf and they want good recruiters. So

533
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:26,680
Speaker 1: the thing to note is that everyone can be vulnerable.

534
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 1: Anyone can be susceptible at some period in their lives,

535
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 1: and it's better to be forearmed then, you know. And

536
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 1: what is the expression forearmed and fore woarned? Like if

537
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:44,920
Speaker 1: you know, if you understand how these groups operate, it's

538
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 1: very similar to a sexual predator or an abusive controlling relationship.

539
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:53,080
Speaker 1: It's the exact same playbook. So whether it's so, I

540
00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 1: wouldn't say that it's just Hollywood types or you know,

541
00:29:56,080 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 1: willing to try weird kinky. And when you hear what

542
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:04,280
Speaker 1: it is, anyone would have been sucked into it. Anyone

543
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:06,640
Speaker 1: that's ever gone to here, Tony Robbins or Oprah for

544
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 1: that matter, could have been sucked into this. Because when

545
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:12,240
Speaker 1: you first hear about it, you're like, well, they really

546
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 1: like sell it to you, like, oh, this will change

547
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 1: my life or this will help my career. I also

548
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 1: think it's important that because of your notoriety, you brought

549
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 1: them down, because this wasn't getting into People magazine without

550
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 1: you having, you know, the celebrity that you had. That

551
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 1: was how I learned about it. And then I dug

552
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:34,200
Speaker 1: deeper because I'm like, what what is this? Stand your

553
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:36,800
Speaker 1: fight and your grit and you know, knowing that it

554
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 1: needed to stop. Yeah, I knew it was a really

555
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 1: dangerous situation. And in fact, the first oh, this relates

556
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:46,720
Speaker 1: back to what you my question you asked me when

557
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 1: I originally went to the police in the FBI. One

558
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:52,240
Speaker 1: of the other members of one of the defectives went

559
00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 1: to somebody in the local Albany area who is part

560
00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:57,120
Speaker 1: of the FBI, and he said, you know, you should

561
00:30:57,120 --> 00:31:02,400
Speaker 1: be very careful who you're even telling law enforcement about

562
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:05,160
Speaker 1: the situation, because these are very dangerous people. And I'm thinking,

563
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 1: why are you not doing anything? Law enforcement did nothing

564
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 1: for twenty years and people were bringing them evidence. When

565
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 1: you're in dacor you're going through any of this, do

566
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 1: you think you you know in the back of your

567
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:21,160
Speaker 1: mind that this is wrong, or do you think you

568
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 1: are so brainwashed to this point that you can't imagine

569
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:26,960
Speaker 1: living without it, Like what what do you think that

570
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:30,120
Speaker 1: is like? And it doesn't have to be your daughter directly,

571
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:32,840
Speaker 1: but what do you think somebody would think they were

572
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:35,840
Speaker 1: gaining at that point when they're being branded, when they're

573
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:39,000
Speaker 1: being forced to have sex with somebody that's their leader.

574
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,920
Speaker 1: Imagine it's a slow drip. These are not women who

575
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:45,440
Speaker 1: are being recruited off the street, Hey come join a

576
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 1: sex calton, get branded. They've been told over years to

577
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:54,320
Speaker 1: trust these people. So when these people they're superior, say

578
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 1: do join this new new group. It'll make you a

579
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 1: better person, it will empower you. These are well that

580
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 1: they they've developed relationships with um that they wouldn't believe

581
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:06,720
Speaker 1: with awesome to do anything that was wrong. And the

582
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:12,120
Speaker 1: thing about indoctrination is that the line bending. You know,

583
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:15,680
Speaker 1: it's like your moral compass gets removed. It's the same

584
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:19,120
Speaker 1: as any sex trafficking victims. By the end, you truly

585
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,520
Speaker 1: believe that you are doing what you're doing because it's

586
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:25,920
Speaker 1: building character. Now when you look back, people are horrified,

587
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 1: they're like, how could I How could I have been

588
00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 1: that person? But it actually create you create a whole

589
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 1: new persona. That's very frightening to think how fragile the

590
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:38,240
Speaker 1: human psyche is, that we can actually be turned into

591
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:42,160
Speaker 1: somebody else, whether it's terrorist training or any type any

592
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:45,360
Speaker 1: you know, any type of indoctrination is very scary. It's

593
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 1: as simple as being in a bad relationship with a jerk.

594
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:50,640
Speaker 1: You stay and stay and stay, and it's like I

595
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,120
Speaker 1: always hear, oh, if that happened to me, I'd leave

596
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 1: right away, and it's like, no, you know, And that's

597
00:32:56,160 --> 00:33:00,000
Speaker 1: that's the most relatable part. Is you stay and you think,

598
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,719
Speaker 1: if I just do this, this will get better. If

599
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 1: I say this, if I act better, this will get better.

600
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 1: And they're just sucking these people in. But yeah, that's

601
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:13,120
Speaker 1: where I thought was so fascinating about it, is that

602
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 1: anyone could be sucked into this. And that's what's so terrifying.

603
00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 1: Although he was so gross and creepy that I thought,

604
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 1: but the original payment, I know, right, the original payment

605
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:28,680
Speaker 1: to even do the first set of seminars was how

606
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:32,640
Speaker 1: much money? Trying to remember, but it was I thought,

607
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 1: So you have to have a certain that's a that's

608
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 1: a real barrier to entry. A lot of people don't

609
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:44,040
Speaker 1: have that. So he's asking for a certain level of

610
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:49,320
Speaker 1: clientele or whatever people to bring in. Well, he's also

611
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 1: saying that it's worth putting this on credit. Yeah you

612
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 1: need this. When I first heard and Katherine can explain

613
00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 1: it again, what how they sold it? Even me, I

614
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 1: was like this, this would have been something I kind

615
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:06,120
Speaker 1: of thought, Oh, I take this class like and then

616
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:08,839
Speaker 1: you just go I'm not at all suggesting that there's

617
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:11,360
Speaker 1: a direct analogy. But we're all here in southern California.

618
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 1: And if you go to certain areas and you see

619
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 1: people on the street in the scientology uniforms or whatever,

620
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,839
Speaker 1: do you have a different thought now than you would

621
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 1: have had had you not had this this insight and

622
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:26,719
Speaker 1: and things. Well, I wasn't never a fan of scientology

623
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:29,879
Speaker 1: because that to me was under when I learned about,

624
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:33,400
Speaker 1: you know, the sort of the mystical or spiritual aspect

625
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:35,560
Speaker 1: or the alien thing, I'm like, okay, how could anybody

626
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,800
Speaker 1: fall for that stuff? Because it was religious, this was secular,

627
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:42,399
Speaker 1: so it was easier for me too. But I am

628
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 1: not a fan of self help. If I was cynical,

629
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:48,359
Speaker 1: I am like super cynical if you mean to have

630
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 1: self help when it comes to these MLM any type

631
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:55,759
Speaker 1: of self help that's not an accredited therapist, any of

632
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 1: these large group trainings. I'm like, stay away, keep your money.

633
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 1: If you need fellowship, go to a twelve step program

634
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:04,359
Speaker 1: for free. If you're not an addict, have a great life,

635
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 1: you're great, you're fine. Just forget about it because the

636
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 1: danger I mean, self help in this country alone is

637
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:15,239
Speaker 1: an eleven billion dollar a year business and it is

638
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:21,359
Speaker 1: completely unregulated. Right, So yeah, I'm not a fan. Well,

639
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:27,960
Speaker 1: we've learned a lot just the beginning. It's really I know,

640
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:32,239
Speaker 1: there's so much more. What's in the true Hollywood story? Well,

641
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:35,000
Speaker 1: actually when they interviewed me, it was like three days

642
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:36,800
Speaker 1: off to my house burn down in Malibu, and I

643
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 1: don't I don't remember what I said, but it was

644
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 1: probably pretty wrong. It was very wrong. But it was

645
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 1: based again on my book Captive. And so they asked

646
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:51,880
Speaker 1: me a lot of questions about um information that's in

647
00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:56,960
Speaker 1: the book and will will soon stand and a breakdown

648
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:59,839
Speaker 1: of the steps that I took to help bring this

649
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:03,799
Speaker 1: hold down, which was not a fight that I would

650
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 1: have chosen. And in here as well as their steps

651
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:10,759
Speaker 1: on the signs if you are entering a cult as well, Yes,

652
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:13,439
Speaker 1: definitely that you know, if you're you're there, or you've

653
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:15,880
Speaker 1: heard of one, or you're thinking about it, you know,

654
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:20,560
Speaker 1: or if you have a child in one. Yes, exactly, okay, exactly, Well,

655
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:25,400
Speaker 1: thank you so much for I mean, this is it's heartbreaking,

656
00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:27,960
Speaker 1: but I think it's really good for people to hear,

657
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:31,799
Speaker 1: because so many people stumble into these things and have

658
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 1: no idea what they're getting themselves or their family into

659
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,680
Speaker 1: until it's too late, and you were able to turn

660
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:42,960
Speaker 1: things around, and yeah, well thank you. This is one

661
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 1: of the rare times when the victims were protected. Feel

662
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 1: very blessed. So you have four kids, Holliday, it's a

663
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 1: good age range. I call them the olders and the younger's,

664
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:07,920
Speaker 1: so eighteen twelve, and what's your thoughts on spanking. I

665
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:11,879
Speaker 1: have never raised a hand, not once. I haven't either,

666
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:14,440
Speaker 1: But I have a question because all of this has

667
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:17,239
Speaker 1: been going on after Sunday's episode of Keeping Up the

668
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 1: Kardashians because of this like stressy, messy like situation between

669
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 1: one of Courtney's children scratching somebody and then uh, Corey

670
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:35,920
Speaker 1: saying I would what was that I would? The quote was, oh,

671
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:40,080
Speaker 1: I'd be whipping her ass and then obviously the parents

672
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:43,840
Speaker 1: are upset by that. Um, so it really I started

673
00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:46,840
Speaker 1: trying to figure out all of the information regards to spanking.

674
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:50,359
Speaker 1: I mean, I've been spanked, not the way I said

675
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 1: that sounds a little creepy, but I used to when

676
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:57,839
Speaker 1: I was younger. I I remember too spanking. They were

677
00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 1: like big deals and other than that, I would get

678
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:04,120
Speaker 1: like kind of the arm squeeze, right, but that that's

679
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:07,320
Speaker 1: kind of where it stopped. But because of that one spanking,

680
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:11,040
Speaker 1: I still like one of the spankings. I have never

681
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:14,359
Speaker 1: been late to this day because of fear because of

682
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 1: that spanking that I got for being late. All right,

683
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:19,879
Speaker 1: I'll tell you my h my childhood spanking story. Um.

684
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 1: I used to you know what a super Bowl is

685
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:24,719
Speaker 1: like about the super bouncy ball? Okay, so I used

686
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:27,920
Speaker 1: to enjoy bouncing the super Bowl in the shower and

687
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:31,000
Speaker 1: then timing how long it would bounce. Sounds like a

688
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:34,560
Speaker 1: good game, and it was. And my father was like,

689
00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:37,319
Speaker 1: you're going to break the shower door. And my father

690
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,919
Speaker 1: is very like gentle, not vol person, but he always said,

691
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,160
Speaker 1: when you break the shower door, I will kill you.

692
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:49,880
Speaker 1: And so, um, you know, months later, I broke the

693
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 1: shower door, and my mother was like, wait till your

694
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 1: father gets home. You know he's gonna kill you. And

695
00:38:55,239 --> 00:39:00,200
Speaker 1: so I was the field anticipation of the spank saw

696
00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:05,440
Speaker 1: like twelve pairs of anywhere, because I you know, and

697
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 1: I mean I deserved it because I had been warned

698
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:10,800
Speaker 1: and everything else. And then you know, he kind of

699
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:12,880
Speaker 1: yelled at me, but nothing really happened, yelled at me

700
00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:14,399
Speaker 1: and you're gonna pay for this and blah blah blah,

701
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:18,000
Speaker 1: and nothing really happened. And then at night, uh, chucking

702
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:20,319
Speaker 1: me in uh, he said, oh, and you know your

703
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 1: mom told me you put on twelve pairs of anywhere.

704
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:23,880
Speaker 1: They still on and I was like no, and he

705
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 1: goes now and then nothing happened. But that that so

706
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:33,239
Speaker 1: that was as effective. You just got an almost speaking. See,

707
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,560
Speaker 1: I got a real speaking and I was told that

708
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:38,120
Speaker 1: my birthday party was going to be canceled, okay, which

709
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 1: to me, when you're however old you're I think I

710
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:42,719
Speaker 1: was like ten years old. I was like, this is

711
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:49,279
Speaker 1: pure devastation. Um, but yeah that I I respected that

712
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 1: spanking for the rest of my life. That being said,

713
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:55,399
Speaker 1: I do not spank my kids. And if somebody who

714
00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:57,200
Speaker 1: was not well. I mean, even if it was my

715
00:39:57,320 --> 00:39:59,520
Speaker 1: husband if I mean, my husband had been spanked when

716
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 1: he was younger as well, but if what if he

717
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:04,480
Speaker 1: tried to do it, that'd be a whole another issue.

718
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:08,200
Speaker 1: But somebody that's not even family is saying that they

719
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:11,919
Speaker 1: would spank my children the level of crazy you would

720
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:15,520
Speaker 1: see me go. There are no words, but you know

721
00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:19,720
Speaker 1: it's funny. I'm obviously touch older than than you guys.

722
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:22,640
Speaker 1: When I was in sixth grade, in our sixth grade

723
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:27,759
Speaker 1: classroom hung a paddle and the paddle was named One

724
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:29,839
Speaker 1: side of the paddle was called Wizzard and the other

725
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:32,279
Speaker 1: side was called Flasher. And I don't think they ever

726
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:34,640
Speaker 1: took it down, but it was there. I mean, I

727
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 1: think that now we're in the day where we're constantly

728
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:41,600
Speaker 1: being told different ways to discipline your kids. I mean

729
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:44,879
Speaker 1: even now they're saying a time out isn't right because

730
00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 1: they shouldn't be alone by themselves, because that's where you know,

731
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:51,160
Speaker 1: So there's what what what's your age? Ridge? R age

732
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:55,080
Speaker 1: range is five seven and eleven? All right, does anybody

733
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:58,279
Speaker 1: have a phone? Nobody has all My stepdaughter has a phone,

734
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:01,319
Speaker 1: but it's just so when she's with us, she versa,

735
00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:06,280
Speaker 1: but there's no games. But I think that the spanking

736
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:08,680
Speaker 1: of today with kids of a certain age just to

737
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:11,239
Speaker 1: take the phone, take, take the phone away. Yeah, I mean,

738
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 1: my son has a little bit of like he gets

739
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:16,640
Speaker 1: nervous about certain things. So we talked to somebody and

740
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:19,200
Speaker 1: they're like, definitely, don't give him a time out because

741
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:22,200
Speaker 1: he already takes himself out and then that's more alone time.

742
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:25,640
Speaker 1: But and it's like, so, is there no parenting going

743
00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:28,080
Speaker 1: on with the parents, because is that why we have

744
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 1: millennials that don't do anything? Well, that's a whole another thing.

745
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:35,960
Speaker 1: I mean, watching I say all of these things. You know,

746
00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:38,160
Speaker 1: I want to make sure that I raised my kids

747
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:40,440
Speaker 1: the same way I I was raised. But I'm not

748
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:42,960
Speaker 1: because I'm not doing a lot of one. I'm a

749
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 1: helicopter parent because I have to be in Los Angeles. Yeah,

750
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:49,680
Speaker 1: I'm I don't think that's necessarily true. I grew up here,

751
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:53,200
Speaker 1: My kids obviously have grown up here, and like this

752
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:55,480
Speaker 1: whole idea, you know, oh my gosh, if you're not

753
00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:57,480
Speaker 1: keeping an eye on them, someone's gonna plug your kid

754
00:41:57,480 --> 00:41:59,840
Speaker 1: out of your front yard and kidnap them. As a

755
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:03,680
Speaker 1: practical matter, that does not happen. It just doesn't know.

756
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:05,959
Speaker 1: But I used to be able to ride my bike

757
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 1: to school to my friends south in Los Angeles. That

758
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 1: isn't in their closest friend is thirty five minutes in

759
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 1: the car. You know what I'm saying, There's not We

760
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:16,160
Speaker 1: don't live in a little neighborhood where the kids can

761
00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:19,240
Speaker 1: ride their bikes. Just this story. So I was taking

762
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:21,440
Speaker 1: care of my nieces the other day. I'm in the

763
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:23,960
Speaker 1: living room of my house with a front patio that

764
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 1: has a gate, right and one of my nieces inside.

765
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:29,799
Speaker 1: My mom is also there. So there's two adults, two kids.

766
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:33,840
Speaker 1: One of my nieces is playing inside, my other niece

767
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,360
Speaker 1: is playing in the front patio with a gate. The

768
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:39,919
Speaker 1: ups man walked in with a package. Obviously, my little

769
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,360
Speaker 1: niece got a little startled by the ups man, and

770
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 1: the ups man yelled at me, raised his voice. You

771
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 1: need to watch your daughter better. How dare you leave

772
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:53,160
Speaker 1: her out here? She could be grabbed? And I'm like

773
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:58,239
Speaker 1: attached to my house. But that level of paranoia, it's

774
00:42:58,239 --> 00:43:00,600
Speaker 1: that level of paranoia, but also it's that level of

775
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:03,279
Speaker 1: people thinking they need to tell other people what to

776
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 1: do all of the time, Like why does this random

777
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,680
Speaker 1: stranger really think he needs to tell me how to parent?

778
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:13,160
Speaker 1: Or why do I mean? It's it's no matter what

779
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 1: we're doing, it's driving in the car, it's you know,

780
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,600
Speaker 1: you you you'd be a better parent if you did this,

781
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,440
Speaker 1: you'd be a better parent if you did that. Are

782
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:23,160
Speaker 1: you even a parent? You know half the time that

783
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:26,479
Speaker 1: people judging or you know, like when they were parents,

784
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:28,759
Speaker 1: they didn't do that great of a job anyway. But

785
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:31,440
Speaker 1: I just feel like the level of judgment is so

786
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:34,720
Speaker 1: extreme when it comes to being a parent. But I

787
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:38,000
Speaker 1: do agree with the fact that if somebody said to me,

788
00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:42,560
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna whip your kids out, I'd be like, really, uh,

789
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:44,960
Speaker 1: we're going to take a time out now from each other.

790
00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:52,080
Speaker 1: Like I'll tell you a parent story. So my daughter

791
00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:55,759
Speaker 1: number two, whose name is Rory, who Amy knows has

792
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:58,560
Speaker 1: every good quality, but has always been loud. She's got

793
00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:00,880
Speaker 1: a loud voice, and she had a as a child,

794
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:04,040
Speaker 1: a piercing scream and one of these screams where everybody

795
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:05,719
Speaker 1: would turn like why are you beating your child? She's

796
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 1: screaming so much, And so she and I were like,

797
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:12,040
Speaker 1: she's like two maybe or two or three. The two

798
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:14,400
Speaker 1: of us are flying back from Hawaii to l A

799
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:17,480
Speaker 1: and it's one of those rare Oh we've been upgraded,

800
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:19,440
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you know what, I cannot have a

801
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 1: screaming child in first class. We'll just so we're in

802
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:26,000
Speaker 1: the very back row and she is sleeping the entire time,

803
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:28,680
Speaker 1: and then I think that flights about five hours. So

804
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 1: about four hour after four hours, she wakes up and

805
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:36,400
Speaker 1: just starts to scream, and she screams for base and

806
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,000
Speaker 1: the flight attendant that can we help you? And I did. Anyway,

807
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:41,960
Speaker 1: she screams from forty five minutes straight. So the next

808
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:44,319
Speaker 1: day on the morning news, kind of just as a joke,

809
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:46,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, you know, if you were on United

810
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:48,880
Speaker 1: flight seven yesterday from now Am, I apologize. That was

811
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:51,719
Speaker 1: me and my daughter, And somebody wrote me this note.

812
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:55,360
Speaker 1: You know, I'm so glad you said something. I was

813
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:57,600
Speaker 1: at l A X last night and always picking up

814
00:44:57,640 --> 00:44:59,919
Speaker 1: my sister who had just spent two weeks in Maui,

815
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:02,279
Speaker 1: and when she walked off the plane her hair was

816
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:08,560
Speaker 1: standing on end. But like, what do you do? You know,

817
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,640
Speaker 1: I kind of give really, you know, I most of

818
00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:13,919
Speaker 1: the time will flying coach with my family because well

819
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,160
Speaker 1: I don't like spending a ton of money. That's that's

820
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:18,840
Speaker 1: that's money to me. I think it's a waste of money.

821
00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:22,200
Speaker 1: But if my kids, their legs barely go over the seat,

822
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:24,239
Speaker 1: so if they accidentally touched the seat in front of you,

823
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 1: and you get like the death player, like are you

824
00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:30,200
Speaker 1: watching listen, I'm watching them, but like, take a little

825
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:33,680
Speaker 1: breath or you know, save up and start flying private

826
00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:36,560
Speaker 1: because this is the real world here and occasionally people

827
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:38,759
Speaker 1: are going to touch your seat and I'm doing the

828
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 1: best I can and you adding that extra pressure and

829
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:44,399
Speaker 1: giving me dirty looks like and you know that there

830
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:48,880
Speaker 1: may be a touch of generation to that, because I remember,

831
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:51,680
Speaker 1: you know, my parents saying to me, you know, we

832
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:53,640
Speaker 1: didn't fly until we were twice, Like, you know, to

833
00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:55,880
Speaker 1: be on a plane when you're a kid is amazing.

834
00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:58,719
Speaker 1: But now it's taken for granted. Now it's taken for grant.

835
00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:01,839
Speaker 1: And also, people love to say other people are doing

836
00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 1: things wrong. It makes them feel so good. I can

837
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:07,239
Speaker 1: sit here and be miserable on this flight because this

838
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:09,120
Speaker 1: person is making me feel that way, as opposed to

839
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:11,239
Speaker 1: taking a deep breath and saying, you know what, it's this,

840
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:13,239
Speaker 1: this and this that I've done today that's actually making

841
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:15,080
Speaker 1: me feel like crap. Or it's a fact that your

842
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:17,120
Speaker 1: knees are touching the seat in front of your making yeah,

843
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:18,879
Speaker 1: I mean, Or it's just my kids are driving, you're

844
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:21,480
Speaker 1: freaking that and I'm sorry. Are they well behaved generally

845
00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 1: or not? Yes? I give them about an eight? Okay, alright,

846
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:28,400
Speaker 1: it's good, it's good enough. Okay, We're gonna go on

847
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:32,319
Speaker 1: a quick break and then take a breath and then

848
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:44,919
Speaker 1: bring on a specialist to help us even more. Good Ginger, Hi,

849
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 1: it's Teddy and Sam here. How are you hi, Teddy?

850
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:53,239
Speaker 1: How are you Hiam? We are. We're both parents. So

851
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:57,759
Speaker 1: we have a lot of questions, like, for one, how

852
00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:00,480
Speaker 1: are you even supposed to pair anymore? There's so many malls?

853
00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:06,360
Speaker 1: I know, I know, yes, So example, we've been okay,

854
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:10,239
Speaker 1: we've been talking about how you know, there's been a

855
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:13,840
Speaker 1: lot of things in the news about you know, spanking

856
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:20,560
Speaker 1: and time out and even everybody getting first place and

857
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:23,479
Speaker 1: you know, we're all getting trophies. Like there's so many

858
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:27,040
Speaker 1: discussions and so many rights and wrongs. Now I know that, like, yes,

859
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 1: of course you trust your instinct, but like what are

860
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:35,200
Speaker 1: the are there is there any kind of tips that

861
00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:38,000
Speaker 1: you can give us to kind of you know, give

862
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:42,839
Speaker 1: us a clear line. Yes. So one, um, there's so

863
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:47,680
Speaker 1: many things happening in and acceptable ways of discipline. I

864
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:50,480
Speaker 1: call it like there's this public parent right, so what

865
00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:53,000
Speaker 1: society feels that we should be parenting in a way

866
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:55,360
Speaker 1: that we should pear in. Then there's this way that

867
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:58,720
Speaker 1: you know, context of how we want to raise our children.

868
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:01,600
Speaker 1: And so sometimes about the like there's this dichotomy about

869
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:05,440
Speaker 1: what other opinions kind of influence the way we ultimately

870
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:07,879
Speaker 1: want to pear in our kids. But I would say

871
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:10,719
Speaker 1: as far as like discipline and how we discipline our kids,

872
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:14,080
Speaker 1: I think it's a personal It's very personal and based

873
00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:17,360
Speaker 1: on your context. Because we can use discipline as you know,

874
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:19,960
Speaker 1: correct behavior, or we can use it as a way

875
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:23,760
Speaker 1: to like inform how they'll be disciplined in the future.

876
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:26,399
Speaker 1: And so I think we can just like I think

877
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 1: the way we look at discipline should shift a little bit,

878
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 1: because you know, kids are sponges, they're they're they're you know,

879
00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:37,160
Speaker 1: absorbing everything and they're learning ways to like communicate, uh,

880
00:48:37,239 --> 00:48:40,719
Speaker 1: deal with conflicts, all of that stuff. So there's a

881
00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:42,920
Speaker 1: lot happening. But I think you just have to define

882
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:44,880
Speaker 1: what it is that we ultimately want to see in

883
00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:48,120
Speaker 1: our children. Now, Ginger would seem to me that the

884
00:48:48,320 --> 00:48:50,920
Speaker 1: notion of you know, smacking your kid is probably remote

885
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:53,000
Speaker 1: and it's probably a bad idea. But at the same time,

886
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:55,120
Speaker 1: I suspect their parents who would say, you know what,

887
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:57,759
Speaker 1: if I got really out of line, my mother gave

888
00:48:57,760 --> 00:48:59,840
Speaker 1: me a whack and look, I turned out fine, so

889
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:04,239
Speaker 1: it was okay for me. It's it's yes, um, So

890
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:07,640
Speaker 1: there's that. Yeah. I get a lot of parents who

891
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:11,320
Speaker 1: say the old school way of discipline, right, so that

892
00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:13,719
Speaker 1: you know, my my father and my mother was heavy

893
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:16,359
Speaker 1: with the hand um and or rules with the iron face,

894
00:49:16,520 --> 00:49:19,520
Speaker 1: and so I think times have changed in terms of no,

895
00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:23,400
Speaker 1: it didn't necessarily break you as an individual, but it

896
00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:26,200
Speaker 1: didn't pour into you. So I'm all like, let's not

897
00:49:26,239 --> 00:49:28,640
Speaker 1: look at the deficits as far as like spanking, but

898
00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:31,840
Speaker 1: what can we pour into our children that will probably

899
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:35,720
Speaker 1: get better results and yield um, better relationships in life

900
00:49:35,760 --> 00:49:37,759
Speaker 1: in the future. So I kind of like try to

901
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:39,960
Speaker 1: switch it and not like focuses on like, yeah, you

902
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:42,800
Speaker 1: could slap your kids, but you could also show them

903
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:44,720
Speaker 1: or be what we want to see in our children,

904
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:47,239
Speaker 1: which is showing them the way to interact with the doults,

905
00:49:47,239 --> 00:49:49,759
Speaker 1: showing how to deal with conflict. So well, I mean,

906
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:52,239
Speaker 1: it's kind of how I've been talking to my parents. Yes,

907
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:55,640
Speaker 1: because well, one, I did some research and it's actually

908
00:49:55,680 --> 00:49:58,800
Speaker 1: illegal to spank your kids if you leave a mark.

909
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:02,480
Speaker 1: So this is true. But I feel like a lot

910
00:50:02,520 --> 00:50:06,800
Speaker 1: of people don't even know that, And so I'm wondering

911
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:10,120
Speaker 1: how parents when when yes, doing what's best for their kids,

912
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:13,719
Speaker 1: but like, how are they supposed to know what's actually

913
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:18,560
Speaker 1: legal even and what's okay because if they were brought

914
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:20,759
Speaker 1: up a certain way. I, for one, don't spank and

915
00:50:20,920 --> 00:50:23,680
Speaker 1: don't believe in that. But I did get spanked when

916
00:50:23,719 --> 00:50:26,720
Speaker 1: I was younger a couple of times. I just choose

917
00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:29,520
Speaker 1: to not continue it on. But I don't know for

918
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 1: those of the you know, how, how how would you

919
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:38,800
Speaker 1: explain these are some clear ways to actually discipline your child. Sure, Um,

920
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:43,560
Speaker 1: so it's hard that. I mean, so there's this thing

921
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:47,160
Speaker 1: I've used to work with children, um that um kind

922
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:50,200
Speaker 1: of were used and neglected, and so I've seen the

923
00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:55,520
Speaker 1: gamut of what um, you know, physical discipline has done,

924
00:50:56,120 --> 00:51:00,920
Speaker 1: not only physically but emotionally and so ways it for

925
00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:04,239
Speaker 1: me as a mental health professional, we talk about you know,

926
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:06,719
Speaker 1: discipline and what's appropriate, what's not appropriate. A lots of

927
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:11,360
Speaker 1: schools and teachers UM usually talk to two kids and

928
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:15,560
Speaker 1: parents about like them being mandated reporters UM as though

929
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:17,840
Speaker 1: if you know, if they hear a suspective any abuse,

930
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:22,000
Speaker 1: and so there's that part as far as physical abuse.

931
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:26,839
Speaker 1: Of what I say is that children do require discipline,

932
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:29,120
Speaker 1: but I also look at it as a way an

933
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:32,080
Speaker 1: opportunity to teach them what they should be doing. And

934
00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:34,200
Speaker 1: then we have to deal with the content. So if

935
00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:37,760
Speaker 1: they are being unsafe or some of it, what they're

936
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:39,840
Speaker 1: doing is not going to be UM make them a

937
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:43,040
Speaker 1: productive uh you know citizen in the society. I think

938
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:45,759
Speaker 1: we have to address it. But I think it's case

939
00:51:45,840 --> 00:51:49,680
Speaker 1: by I have to practical examples. So let's say you

940
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:52,160
Speaker 1: have a five year old that darts out into the

941
00:51:52,200 --> 00:51:54,839
Speaker 1: street and you have to grab your kid. How do

942
00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:59,319
Speaker 1: you then teach them not to do that? That's my

943
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:03,919
Speaker 1: first question, right, So one, you got to catch them

944
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:08,880
Speaker 1: because it's unsafe, But then the practical part is I

945
00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:11,080
Speaker 1: have to teach them what I want to see from them.

946
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:13,960
Speaker 1: So that is a demonstration of I'm gonna walk them

947
00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:17,400
Speaker 1: through the story, look less, look right, have them understand

948
00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:20,440
Speaker 1: the consequences. So it's almost like we're being an example

949
00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:22,239
Speaker 1: of what we want to see as opposed to just

950
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:23,640
Speaker 1: saying what we don't want to see. If we have

951
00:52:23,719 --> 00:52:26,080
Speaker 1: to tell them what we want to see in them. Okay,

952
00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:29,360
Speaker 1: So then let's fast forward to sixteen year old who

953
00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:34,520
Speaker 1: is lying or talking back, or drinking or doing things

954
00:52:34,560 --> 00:52:36,840
Speaker 1: you don't want your sixteen year old doing. How do

955
00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:40,719
Speaker 1: you parent that child? So you you have to immediately

956
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:44,920
Speaker 1: address the negative behavior and UM, definitely, UM make a

957
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,520
Speaker 1: consequence because what I say that it has to be

958
00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:50,680
Speaker 1: depend on the child, because taking a cellphone away from

959
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:54,480
Speaker 1: one child may just they may get it, and taking

960
00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:57,440
Speaker 1: a cellphone away from another child they may not. It

961
00:52:57,560 --> 00:53:00,560
Speaker 1: may not be something that's gonna improve their behavior. So

962
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:03,280
Speaker 1: you kind of have to know what what motivates your child.

963
00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:05,640
Speaker 1: And I say sometimes you have to take away some

964
00:53:05,719 --> 00:53:09,319
Speaker 1: of those privileges that they are used to until they

965
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:13,480
Speaker 1: kind of change their behavior and ultimately and show them

966
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:16,440
Speaker 1: what you want to see and getting to the bottom

967
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:19,560
Speaker 1: of why they're doing what they're doing, because there's there's

968
00:53:19,560 --> 00:53:22,680
Speaker 1: more to the action. There's something behind it, and how

969
00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:25,520
Speaker 1: do you feel about Like the reward chart. I've noticed

970
00:53:25,560 --> 00:53:29,319
Speaker 1: my son showing great improvements since we stopped doing like

971
00:53:29,560 --> 00:53:33,080
Speaker 1: time outs and more. If you do these things, then

972
00:53:33,160 --> 00:53:35,640
Speaker 1: you get a heart, and then after this many hearts,

973
00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:39,920
Speaker 1: you get this. I think it's I love actually the

974
00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:44,799
Speaker 1: reward chart because it's essentially you are investing in what

975
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:47,840
Speaker 1: you want to see for them, and then it's um

976
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:50,840
Speaker 1: kind of natural rewards like a heart, high five. And

977
00:53:50,840 --> 00:53:54,080
Speaker 1: I'm sure you maybe it progresses to other things, but

978
00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:57,400
Speaker 1: it's natural rewards, and so they are more focused on

979
00:53:57,440 --> 00:53:59,279
Speaker 1: what you want to see or what will be more

980
00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:03,640
Speaker 1: positive than the negative consequences of behavior. I've also seen

981
00:54:03,640 --> 00:54:05,640
Speaker 1: a lot of My parents didn't even bother with me

982
00:54:05,719 --> 00:54:07,960
Speaker 1: I was so bad at school. But I've seen a

983
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:12,080
Speaker 1: lot of parents disciplining their children because of grades. So

984
00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:16,200
Speaker 1: I'm curious what is the alternative to my kids aren't

985
00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:18,880
Speaker 1: really at that age yet, but to those parents that

986
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:21,160
Speaker 1: are putting so much pressure on their kids that their

987
00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:28,560
Speaker 1: kids end up just giving up. Yes, so, well, one

988
00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:31,799
Speaker 1: we gotta see where our kids are. Um. I see

989
00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:34,560
Speaker 1: a lot of kids who have a lot of test anxiety,

990
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:38,600
Speaker 1: a lot of school anxiety because there's so much pressure, um,

991
00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:42,640
Speaker 1: either from their parents, society about getting into college, etcetera.

992
00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:45,960
Speaker 1: And so the parents then feel like the punishment is

993
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:49,000
Speaker 1: going to get a better result of behavior when actually

994
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:52,160
Speaker 1: they need to start asking more questions. So it could

995
00:54:52,160 --> 00:54:53,880
Speaker 1: be a matter of discipline, so it couldn't be a

996
00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:57,640
Speaker 1: matter of okay, homework time, tutors. There's things that we

997
00:54:57,680 --> 00:55:00,200
Speaker 1: can again pour into our children that are to have

998
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:05,799
Speaker 1: a schedule for them. Yes, definitely. And I feel like

999
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:08,839
Speaker 1: anxiety is something that wasn't really talked about when I

1000
00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:11,960
Speaker 1: was growing up, and now we hear it so often

1001
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:15,000
Speaker 1: in kids. And now you know, same with a d

1002
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:17,160
Speaker 1: D or a d h D, Like these are things

1003
00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:19,400
Speaker 1: that are way more people are way more open to

1004
00:55:19,520 --> 00:55:23,759
Speaker 1: discuss now, and kids are talking about it, And so

1005
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:27,560
Speaker 1: I was just kind of curious, what the best if

1006
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:30,239
Speaker 1: you're feeling like your kid is struggling with one of

1007
00:55:30,280 --> 00:55:34,160
Speaker 1: these things and you don't you don't have the means,

1008
00:55:34,239 --> 00:55:36,080
Speaker 1: or you don't know what to do, Like, what do

1009
00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:40,719
Speaker 1: you recommend in that case? So you're right, Um, I

1010
00:55:40,719 --> 00:55:44,759
Speaker 1: think we're is more socially acceptable to talk about anxiety. Um,

1011
00:55:44,920 --> 00:55:46,759
Speaker 1: and we are beginning to see it through a lot

1012
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:49,799
Speaker 1: of avenues of the impact of anxiety. I mean, kids

1013
00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:55,319
Speaker 1: aren't going to school. They they you know, there's physical menasation, manifestation,

1014
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:58,239
Speaker 1: so they're stomach egg. They may say, I don't want

1015
00:55:58,239 --> 00:55:59,880
Speaker 1: to go to school because of X, Y and Z.

1016
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:02,680
Speaker 1: But what can we do as a parent to support

1017
00:56:02,680 --> 00:56:06,040
Speaker 1: the children. I I'm a firm believer in just having

1018
00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:11,000
Speaker 1: a conversation with your child about what is impacting them

1019
00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:14,960
Speaker 1: so um and looking at the physical symptoms. So that

1020
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:19,520
Speaker 1: means maybe you have to modify your expectations of them

1021
00:56:19,600 --> 00:56:23,560
Speaker 1: so it reduces their stress level. UM acceptance is huge,

1022
00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:27,120
Speaker 1: So accepting that you do your bet. I want you

1023
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:30,120
Speaker 1: to do your best, and whatever your best is, that's

1024
00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:32,640
Speaker 1: what I accept, not necessarily what I think your best

1025
00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:35,920
Speaker 1: should be, but what they're the child's best is in

1026
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:38,720
Speaker 1: that moment, because it can be hard as well, because

1027
00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:41,000
Speaker 1: your kids are so smart that sometimes they know how

1028
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:44,600
Speaker 1: to manipulate you as well. So sometimes they may be

1029
00:56:44,719 --> 00:56:48,480
Speaker 1: having anxiety, but sometimes they're smart little buggers, you know,

1030
00:56:48,719 --> 00:56:51,440
Speaker 1: like mom is true, my son will be like Mommy,

1031
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:53,640
Speaker 1: I just really need to sleep in bed with you tonight.

1032
00:56:53,680 --> 00:56:56,040
Speaker 1: It's I'm not feeling that good. I'll be like, buddy,

1033
00:56:56,160 --> 00:56:58,040
Speaker 1: do you really not feel good? Or do you just

1034
00:56:58,080 --> 00:57:00,000
Speaker 1: want to sleep with me? I just want to sleep

1035
00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:04,920
Speaker 1: with you? But can I uh yeah, so so and

1036
00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:08,759
Speaker 1: of course you ultimately know that that's the one over right.

1037
00:57:09,040 --> 00:57:12,920
Speaker 1: So so I say, look at like consistent, inconsistency, and

1038
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:17,560
Speaker 1: inconsistent see of behavior. So for a child who's typically

1039
00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:20,760
Speaker 1: doing well in school, typically gets good grades, or typically

1040
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:25,680
Speaker 1: is um you know, performing in a performance well, and

1041
00:57:25,720 --> 00:57:29,520
Speaker 1: then they have those isolated or moments where they did

1042
00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:33,720
Speaker 1: I mean that would say Okay, something's not right or

1043
00:57:33,840 --> 00:57:36,400
Speaker 1: something's not wrong, or something's wrong with my child. I

1044
00:57:36,440 --> 00:57:39,720
Speaker 1: need to look more into that. Or if the opposite,

1045
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:45,240
Speaker 1: if they're constantly struggling with a subject matter, they're constantly

1046
00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:48,360
Speaker 1: um have fear of being on stage, there may be

1047
00:57:48,480 --> 00:57:52,280
Speaker 1: something more to it again that we have to look into.

1048
00:57:52,480 --> 00:57:56,240
Speaker 1: So it's not just the materials, but there's some more things.

1049
00:57:56,240 --> 00:57:59,280
Speaker 1: There are questions that we need to ask. Okay, thank

1050
00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:01,080
Speaker 1: you so much for all your help today. We really

1051
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:05,280
Speaker 1: appreciate it. Welcome, thank you so much for having me.

1052
00:58:05,680 --> 00:58:09,240
Speaker 1: I think that, you know, maybe we'll talk again. You know,

1053
00:58:10,280 --> 00:58:12,320
Speaker 1: you guys have a great pace. Oh, thanks Ginger, thanks

1054
00:58:12,320 --> 00:58:14,680
Speaker 1: so much. You know what I what I think now

1055
00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:18,360
Speaker 1: is everything is so much more like concentrated, you know,

1056
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:20,880
Speaker 1: than than than it used to be. So this idea

1057
00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:23,240
Speaker 1: that the kids are anxious about things, there's so much

1058
00:58:23,280 --> 00:58:25,360
Speaker 1: more surrounding them, I think kind of to make the

1059
00:58:25,440 --> 00:58:28,400
Speaker 1: major's So that's and then the other thing, and I

1060
00:58:28,440 --> 00:58:31,880
Speaker 1: will speak from experience here. The whole college thing is

1061
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:36,400
Speaker 1: everybody gets in somewhere, it's all gonna be fine. You

1062
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:39,600
Speaker 1: just have to completely relax and let go of it,

1063
00:58:39,680 --> 00:58:42,320
Speaker 1: because I know kids and parents. You know, for the parents,

1064
00:58:42,360 --> 00:58:46,760
Speaker 1: it's projection. They don't they want uh Debbie to get

1065
00:58:46,800 --> 00:58:49,560
Speaker 1: in to Stanford because they want to get into Stanford

1066
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:53,160
Speaker 1: because they didn't themselves. So are all parents just basically

1067
00:58:53,240 --> 00:58:55,200
Speaker 1: screwing up their kids? I mean, even listening to the

1068
00:58:55,200 --> 00:58:58,360
Speaker 1: parenting expert, I'm like, is she actually telling us what

1069
00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:00,840
Speaker 1: to do? Like it's all just a crapshoot? Am I Right? Well,

1070
00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:04,120
Speaker 1: don't you? I think the thing that that's most unusual

1071
00:59:04,160 --> 00:59:06,400
Speaker 1: And you see this on occasion where you will meet

1072
00:59:06,920 --> 00:59:10,720
Speaker 1: super nice parents and for whatever cosmic reason, the kids

1073
00:59:10,720 --> 00:59:14,560
Speaker 1: are crappy. So kids are because you don't see everything

1074
00:59:14,600 --> 00:59:16,360
Speaker 1: you don't see the full rounded thing. And I think

1075
00:59:16,560 --> 00:59:20,560
Speaker 1: kids are smart, they know what's going on. So I

1076
00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:22,720
Speaker 1: know the biggest thing for me that's helped with my

1077
00:59:22,840 --> 00:59:25,760
Speaker 1: kids is if I tell them if I'm stressed or

1078
00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:28,200
Speaker 1: if i'm in like I've got a ton of work

1079
00:59:28,240 --> 00:59:31,680
Speaker 1: to do, instead of just not being present, like I'm like, hey, guys,

1080
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:34,840
Speaker 1: I need one hour. I really need to like hunker

1081
00:59:34,880 --> 00:59:36,920
Speaker 1: down this hour so that then I can focus on

1082
00:59:36,960 --> 00:59:39,480
Speaker 1: you guys. And then I set their expectations and then

1083
00:59:39,560 --> 00:59:42,440
Speaker 1: everything's better. Whereas I pretend to be super mom all

1084
00:59:42,520 --> 00:59:44,040
Speaker 1: the time and I'm like, I'm good, I'm good. I'm

1085
00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:45,760
Speaker 1: gonna oh ha ha, that's so funny. Mean while I'm

1086
00:59:45,760 --> 00:59:47,760
Speaker 1: looking at my phone. Then all of a sudden, they

1087
00:59:47,760 --> 00:59:50,040
Speaker 1: start acting out because they don't know what's happening and

1088
00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:52,600
Speaker 1: they want attention. And we do that as adults too,

1089
00:59:52,640 --> 00:59:54,880
Speaker 1: like even your your wife or my husband comes home

1090
00:59:54,920 --> 00:59:58,000
Speaker 1: from work or vice versa. You know, you take things

1091
00:59:58,080 --> 01:00:02,080
Speaker 1: personally unless the person come you nicates with you what

1092
01:00:02,240 --> 01:00:04,320
Speaker 1: they need. But but you see, I think even I

1093
01:00:04,560 --> 01:00:07,360
Speaker 1: think it's a good idea, but even the phrase, uh,

1094
01:00:07,640 --> 01:00:09,680
Speaker 1: you know, as a parent, to help my kids set

1095
01:00:09,680 --> 01:00:12,600
Speaker 1: their expectations, that to me is like a phrase like

1096
01:00:12,640 --> 01:00:15,480
Speaker 1: my mom and dad would never like what you know,

1097
01:00:16,840 --> 01:00:19,000
Speaker 1: but I know what I like. I think I parent

1098
01:00:19,080 --> 01:00:23,120
Speaker 1: the way that I personally like to live my life. Yeah,

1099
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:27,080
Speaker 1: I mean, and then this whole nature versus nurture. I

1100
01:00:27,080 --> 01:00:29,000
Speaker 1: have three daughters and a son, and everybody said with

1101
01:00:29,120 --> 01:00:34,680
Speaker 1: with my daughters constantly like just you wait and wait

1102
01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:37,480
Speaker 1: for what they've They've really all turned out in credit

1103
01:00:37,520 --> 01:00:39,560
Speaker 1: their nice girls and there's not too much of that

1104
01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:41,160
Speaker 1: eye rolling and all the things that you know that

1105
01:00:41,200 --> 01:00:43,240
Speaker 1: you would expect. But I heard that from and you

1106
01:00:43,280 --> 01:00:45,640
Speaker 1: know this whole idea. Well, girls are harder than like

1107
01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:48,920
Speaker 1: I find. Uh, my son, who I'm enjoying more and

1108
01:00:48,920 --> 01:00:51,480
Speaker 1: more as it gets a touch older, was much more

1109
01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:54,480
Speaker 1: of a challenge. Girls were easy because boys have so

1110
01:00:54,560 --> 01:00:57,520
Speaker 1: much more energy there. Well, my son is like such

1111
01:00:57,560 --> 01:01:00,120
Speaker 1: a lover and a cuddler and all those things. Um,

1112
01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:02,240
Speaker 1: But like my daughter, when I walk her into school,

1113
01:01:02,280 --> 01:01:05,120
Speaker 1: she's like, can you walk behind me? Please? Do you

1114
01:01:05,120 --> 01:01:07,880
Speaker 1: mind not kissing me at school anymore? I'm like, oh,

1115
01:01:08,080 --> 01:01:12,480
Speaker 1: we're there, you're in the first grade. Do you mind

1116
01:01:12,560 --> 01:01:14,280
Speaker 1: that shirt that you just asked me to buy for

1117
01:01:14,400 --> 01:01:18,040
Speaker 1: you not wearing it? Like and wearing something else hello um,

1118
01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:19,960
Speaker 1: but you try not to take it personally. But then

1119
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:22,040
Speaker 1: you remember when you were a kid. And then one thing,

1120
01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:25,560
Speaker 1: which may be very uh l a centric, do you

1121
01:01:25,600 --> 01:01:28,320
Speaker 1: find this at pick up? I'm like, you know what,

1122
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:30,600
Speaker 1: I've never seen that rules Royce before. It's like it's

1123
01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:34,720
Speaker 1: keeping up with the Jones and I cannot. I can't

1124
01:01:34,760 --> 01:01:37,000
Speaker 1: do it. And when the mom starts telling me how

1125
01:01:37,040 --> 01:01:38,800
Speaker 1: great of a mom she has all the time and

1126
01:01:38,840 --> 01:01:42,760
Speaker 1: all the things she juggles, and I'm like, honestly, I

1127
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:45,400
Speaker 1: don't have the time for this friendship. I just find

1128
01:01:45,440 --> 01:01:48,800
Speaker 1: every forty year old is just totally messed up from

1129
01:01:48,840 --> 01:01:51,680
Speaker 1: the damage that's been done to them. It's like everybody's

1130
01:01:51,760 --> 01:01:54,480
Speaker 1: just a big pile of mess and nobody is perfect

1131
01:01:54,560 --> 01:01:56,920
Speaker 1: and it's the people. And you know, I I struggled

1132
01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:58,720
Speaker 1: as well. I wish I was perfect, but I have

1133
01:01:58,880 --> 01:02:02,600
Speaker 1: made multitude of mistakes every day. But I think it's

1134
01:02:02,640 --> 01:02:05,600
Speaker 1: important that your kids see that you can make mistakes.

1135
01:02:06,080 --> 01:02:09,080
Speaker 1: The life still goes on and that if you work hard,

1136
01:02:09,120 --> 01:02:10,840
Speaker 1: good things come. I mean that's the end of the day,

1137
01:02:10,840 --> 01:02:13,320
Speaker 1: that's what you and that they're loved right exactly. That's

1138
01:02:13,360 --> 01:02:16,800
Speaker 1: the most important. If they know that, then that trump's

1139
01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:19,560
Speaker 1: everything else. Yeah, if your kids feel love and they

1140
01:02:19,560 --> 01:02:25,880
Speaker 1: have the basic skills of survival, they're gonna be fine.

1141
01:02:25,720 --> 01:02:28,600
Speaker 1: I think I don't want to retitle this podcast because

1142
01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:32,080
Speaker 1: it has a great name already, but it's like, relax,

1143
01:02:32,240 --> 01:02:34,440
Speaker 1: We're all going to be fine. That should be that

1144
01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:39,600
Speaker 1: could be it um because people just panic. People panic,

1145
01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:41,840
Speaker 1: and then they start and then they start asking everybody

1146
01:02:41,880 --> 01:02:45,480
Speaker 1: and their mother what today we're gonna get? Everybody else's

1147
01:02:45,480 --> 01:02:53,800
Speaker 1: advice is make sure you guys are emailing us at

1148
01:02:53,920 --> 01:02:57,040
Speaker 1: Teddy t E D D I T T E A

1149
01:02:57,040 --> 01:02:59,680
Speaker 1: at I heart radio dot com. And then we will

1150
01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:02,840
Speaker 1: addres set on next week's episode because I know you

1151
01:03:02,840 --> 01:03:06,680
Speaker 1: guys are gonna want to dig even deeper. Lisa is

1152
01:03:06,720 --> 01:03:09,800
Speaker 1: digging this week and hers is My issue for open

1153
01:03:09,840 --> 01:03:13,520
Speaker 1: marriage slash swingers is what if your significant other brings

1154
01:03:13,560 --> 01:03:18,240
Speaker 1: home a disease? Um. I'll tell you what. I've always

1155
01:03:18,240 --> 01:03:21,240
Speaker 1: had this idea, uh do if you ever go watch

1156
01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:22,680
Speaker 1: stand up comedy? I think some of you think, oh

1157
01:03:22,680 --> 01:03:25,680
Speaker 1: I can do it. So here's just the beginning of

1158
01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:28,000
Speaker 1: a stand up bit, which I think would be very effective.

1159
01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:30,320
Speaker 1: You know, everybody's so into all this you know, open

1160
01:03:30,320 --> 01:03:33,320
Speaker 1: marriage stuff and and swing you know the you know

1161
01:03:33,360 --> 01:03:38,919
Speaker 1: the problem with threesomes. There's just too much talking. Isn't

1162
01:03:38,960 --> 01:03:42,920
Speaker 1: that a great first line? Nothing after that that has

1163
01:03:42,960 --> 01:03:45,800
Speaker 1: to do with STDs. But so the feedback guy got

1164
01:03:45,840 --> 01:03:48,040
Speaker 1: is we forgot to ask the swinging couple, how do

1165
01:03:48,080 --> 01:03:51,480
Speaker 1: they avoid disease? And lot of these open marriage people

1166
01:03:51,560 --> 01:03:55,240
Speaker 1: to avoid getting and did you speak with them on

1167
01:03:55,280 --> 01:03:56,640
Speaker 1: the phone, did you meet them? I mean, I don't

1168
01:03:56,640 --> 01:03:59,280
Speaker 1: know that I necessarily need to ask the therapist this

1169
01:04:00,120 --> 01:04:04,600
Speaker 1: condoms are they using them though we don't know. I

1170
01:04:04,600 --> 01:04:07,320
Speaker 1: don't know, but they should be. I would assume that

1171
01:04:07,320 --> 01:04:09,640
Speaker 1: that is a rule. By the way, I did learn

1172
01:04:09,680 --> 01:04:12,360
Speaker 1: that there's a kind of condom that people are using

1173
01:04:12,400 --> 01:04:15,400
Speaker 1: that doesn't actually protect you from disease. It only protects

1174
01:04:15,440 --> 01:04:18,240
Speaker 1: you from being pregnant. Oh yeah, that's true. I like

1175
01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:23,520
Speaker 1: versus I mean, hello, I think they actually say that

1176
01:04:23,560 --> 01:04:26,840
Speaker 1: in some of the labels that people lead their condom labels.

1177
01:04:28,440 --> 01:04:30,360
Speaker 1: I have a latex allergy, So I'm not one to

1178
01:04:30,360 --> 01:04:35,360
Speaker 1: speak a latex allergy because I had a latex bandage

1179
01:04:35,400 --> 01:04:38,160
Speaker 1: on my body once and it was like fire. It

1180
01:04:38,240 --> 01:04:39,880
Speaker 1: was like my whole body was on fire. And someone

1181
01:04:39,920 --> 01:04:42,000
Speaker 1: was punching me from the inside, and then it took

1182
01:04:42,360 --> 01:04:44,880
Speaker 1: days for it to go back to normal. I get

1183
01:04:44,920 --> 01:04:46,880
Speaker 1: that like from latex, from the glue when I have

1184
01:04:46,920 --> 01:04:51,200
Speaker 1: fake eyelashes on. We've learned a lot. Thank you Sam

1185
01:04:51,240 --> 01:04:54,560
Speaker 1: for joining me today. I love getting your thoughts and

1186
01:04:54,760 --> 01:04:57,760
Speaker 1: feedback and helping me dig deep on all these times. Well,

1187
01:04:57,760 --> 01:04:59,320
Speaker 1: I tell you what today I feel. We've been through it.

1188
01:05:00,280 --> 01:05:04,080
Speaker 1: We've been through a lot of things today. Happy to

1189
01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:09,480
Speaker 1: be your thanks, appreciate it. H