1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,880 Speaker 1: My parents want my inheritance. If I don't give it 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:05,279 Speaker 1: to them, they will be homeless. 3 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:06,600 Speaker 2: Let them go to the streets. 4 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:09,159 Speaker 1: Yeah, they should have invested better. Where's your four one K? 5 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:09,840 Speaker 2: Come on? 6 00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:15,000 Speaker 1: So I've thirty female. I've had a rocky relationship with 7 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:18,480 Speaker 1: my parents divorced since nineteen ninety nine, just before the millennium, 8 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 1: my entire life. My father married my stepmother in the 9 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:24,479 Speaker 1: year two thousand. I was an only child up until 10 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:28,120 Speaker 1: this point. She had four children from a previous marriage. 11 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: In the early days of their marriage, she stepmom was 12 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:32,920 Speaker 1: pretty toxic to me and to my dad's side of 13 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 1: the family. Instead of letting relationships between everyone happen organically, 14 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,960 Speaker 1: she tried to force them. There's a lot of backstory here, 15 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:42,000 Speaker 1: and I'm trying to trim a lot of fat down 16 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:44,720 Speaker 1: that brings us to present day. So bear with me. 17 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:48,720 Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Swiggity wig on Best 18 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:52,960 Speaker 1: of Ritter updates. So when my parents divorced, my dad 19 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 1: was allotted forty two days in the summer and every 20 00:00:56,320 --> 00:01:02,280 Speaker 1: other weekend for custody important, but he would often abandon 21 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:05,840 Speaker 1: me to be with her family. Oh big ex things 22 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,560 Speaker 1: would be taken from me and distributed to her children, 23 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:11,119 Speaker 1: et cetera. He would always try to buy me off 24 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,119 Speaker 1: with gifts to make up for hurt feelings. I often 25 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 1: felt like I was on the back burner. 26 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:16,520 Speaker 2: I get it. 27 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 1: I don't like being burnt on the back. Yeah, to 28 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,760 Speaker 1: my face, put me, put me right right front and center. 29 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:25,320 Speaker 1: I want to be I want to be the veal 30 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 1: that you're paying attention to, not the potatoes that you 31 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:31,120 Speaker 1: forget about. You know, I'm a side I'm not a 32 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,399 Speaker 1: side dish. I'm the full flame in the young spend that 33 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:38,039 Speaker 1: time with my grandparents instead. My grandparents decided to deed 34 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:41,559 Speaker 1: me their house when I was nine because of this. Yeah, 35 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:44,959 Speaker 1: that's a nice consolation, Bryce, so I always have a 36 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:49,120 Speaker 1: home when they passed away. That's always been a sticking 37 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,560 Speaker 1: point to my father. He would say things like that 38 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,600 Speaker 1: was such an irresponsible thing of them to do to 39 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,960 Speaker 1: deed a property to a child. 40 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,120 Speaker 2: You know what's irresponsible, abandoning your child. 41 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:02,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe they wouldn't have to give the deed if 42 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,000 Speaker 1: you had done your duty. You better, dad. 43 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:06,560 Speaker 2: Sorry. 44 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:09,640 Speaker 1: Sorry. It clearly didn't settle well because he has still 45 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 1: made comments within the last few years. Two other people, 46 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,600 Speaker 1: my stepmother got into an altercation in two thousand and 47 00:02:14,639 --> 00:02:18,919 Speaker 1: seven where she shoved my grandfather in his front yard 48 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:20,160 Speaker 1: to the ground. 49 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:24,680 Speaker 2: Why why are you attacking grandpa? Why are you grandpa? 50 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:26,560 Speaker 2: He with the walker? 51 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, she's like learn how to walk? Grandpa kicks his walker. 52 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:34,079 Speaker 2: Who would give a house to a nine year old? 53 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:36,079 Speaker 2: Give it to me, grands I'm gonna give you, give 54 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:36,799 Speaker 2: you the business. 55 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna give you some cement shoes to try 56 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:42,120 Speaker 1: using your walk after that. 57 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:43,680 Speaker 2: Uh, bro, he's trying. 58 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:48,880 Speaker 1: He's gone away. He's just like on the ground, just 59 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:52,280 Speaker 1: like trying to like zombie crawl away from this mother 60 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,560 Speaker 1: in lawn. She's like setting him up for a curb 61 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 1: stop too. The man. Girl's a girl's going crazy. 62 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:02,120 Speaker 2: Hashtag save Grandpa, Save Grandpa. 63 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 1: I was fifteen at the time. We didn't see my 64 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:07,800 Speaker 1: grandparents for eight months after that, and that was after 65 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,840 Speaker 1: a stroke. Every time my dad will pull some nonsense 66 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:14,320 Speaker 1: or defend his wife's actions, this would cause my grandmother 67 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:17,639 Speaker 1: to be petty and threaten to change their will, slowly 68 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:21,280 Speaker 1: keeping land from him for when they passed. After this instant, 69 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 1: I wondered why he didn't leave my stepmom. They both 70 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:27,440 Speaker 1: have a history of only thinking of themselves to the 71 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,520 Speaker 1: point my grandfather died with poor credit because my dad 72 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:34,320 Speaker 1: took out loans and cards in his name. Opie's dad 73 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:35,680 Speaker 1: is awful. 74 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:40,000 Speaker 2: This is this isn't bro. They cannot let Grandpa live. 75 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:40,240 Speaker 1: Bro. 76 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,960 Speaker 2: Grandpa's just like, hey, let me retire in peace, and 77 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,880 Speaker 2: they're like, no, we got to give you. Put you 78 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 2: in a million in debt and then beat the gravity. 79 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 1: Break your hip, bro, save Grandpa, Save Grandpa. Everyone's doing 80 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:56,160 Speaker 1: those grand's dirty dirtiest. Before my dad retired, he didn't 81 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 1: save a penny. He's been grifting in ways. He has 82 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 1: a military retirement, but my step mom blows through it. 83 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,840 Speaker 1: I've been married for eight years and I have a child. 84 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:08,240 Speaker 1: Before I had mine, my dad and stepmother had seven 85 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,760 Speaker 1: other grandchildren and they now have eleven total. My daughter 86 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 1: is the only blood relation to my dad. He didn't 87 00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,040 Speaker 1: get to see her because my step mom kept him 88 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:20,520 Speaker 1: from seeing her for the first three years of her life. Well, 89 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,320 Speaker 1: my dad is away from her, I feel like I 90 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,839 Speaker 1: get quality time with him, and I've learned to set 91 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,120 Speaker 1: boundaries over the years to keep me or my child 92 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 1: from being hurt. So basically, Opie's stepmom is just a terror. 93 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:35,560 Speaker 2: Like the worst is an understatement. Yeah, she is horrible. 94 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,599 Speaker 1: Yeah, but man, she must have something going for her. 95 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,040 Speaker 1: If Daddy Owas is staying with. 96 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:43,920 Speaker 2: It, you know, I mean, listen, if when. 97 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 1: You know how to work it, you know when when 98 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:48,640 Speaker 1: when that back burns. 99 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,400 Speaker 2: You know when that when that back burns, when that. 100 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,160 Speaker 1: When that booty hot, When that back be burning, when 101 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,479 Speaker 1: your heads be turning, when. 102 00:04:55,320 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 2: Your wife kicks your old dad in the pody, She's 103 00:05:00,839 --> 00:05:02,560 Speaker 2: got something going on in the booty. 104 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 1: Yeah. 105 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,920 Speaker 2: That literally took me that I was stalling that whole 106 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,000 Speaker 2: time to try. And I'm not proud of what. 107 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 1: I feel like I feel. I mean, this, this this stepmother. 108 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:14,880 Speaker 1: Maybe maybe it's like maybe it's hot a little bit, 109 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:18,080 Speaker 1: you know, like that beating old people? Wow, you know 110 00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:21,440 Speaker 1: we like I mean, I feel like everyone wanted someone 111 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,479 Speaker 1: younger to go against Joe Biden and wanted, you know, 112 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,600 Speaker 1: just to beat up an old man politically. Dude, they 113 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,800 Speaker 1: didn't happen, but I feel like people would have liked it. 114 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:33,680 Speaker 2: Listen, I'm if this is shaming, then I'm I'm shaming it. 115 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,440 Speaker 2: I'm shaming it all the way. Save Grandpa. That's that's 116 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:37,120 Speaker 2: what's not I'm. 117 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 1: On, Grandpa, save Grandpa. 118 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,440 Speaker 2: You're not the old attack grandpa. 119 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:44,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, kink attacks. 120 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,479 Speaker 2: Dude completely completely on the other side. 121 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:50,240 Speaker 1: No, I understand it coming from you. She's trying to 122 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:51,280 Speaker 1: save your fellow holdies. 123 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 2: That's right, aar in the building. Let's go, say aarp. 124 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:57,520 Speaker 2: I sure did. 125 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:01,000 Speaker 1: Oh my god. I spent the last decade of my 126 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:04,280 Speaker 1: adult life trying to heal my inner child, not carry 127 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:09,200 Speaker 1: that baggage into my child life, learning to love and forgive. 128 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:12,720 Speaker 1: If not forgive, at least make peace. I've tried to 129 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 1: rekindle a relationship with my father so that he can 130 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,760 Speaker 1: have a serious relationship with my daughter. Him and my 131 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 1: stepmother have been on the rocks for five years and 132 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 1: have separated twice. I wish I wish they had separated permanently. 133 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:23,839 Speaker 2: Mm hmm. 134 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 1: He can't seem to get away. Given where I am 135 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:29,440 Speaker 1: in life, it feels like they want something. If not now, 136 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:33,040 Speaker 1: then when I am married and own my own home. 137 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:35,240 Speaker 1: We make a good income and work hard for what 138 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:37,359 Speaker 1: we have. I've been dreading my entire life for the 139 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,720 Speaker 1: moment that both my grandparents would be put to rest. 140 00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:42,440 Speaker 1: It's been difficult in itself to process the loss of 141 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 1: someone who is essential in my upbringing, because it's like 142 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:48,160 Speaker 1: the grandparents basically raised op instead. 143 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:51,159 Speaker 2: Of and literally OPI's home to this day, right, it 144 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,440 Speaker 2: seems I mean that that is like it's like every 145 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:54,400 Speaker 2: day you have that reminder. 146 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:57,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, they're haunted. They're haunted those holid grounds in 147 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,440 Speaker 1: the best way and the best way. Question, John, would 148 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,520 Speaker 1: you want your grand parents to haunt your childhood home? 149 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 1: But like in a fun way, you know, like sir 150 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:06,039 Speaker 1: Headless Nick and Harry Potter too. 151 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 2: I guess if it's your own grandparents, that could be fun. 152 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:10,600 Speaker 2: My grandma had this saying where she's like, you want 153 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:14,600 Speaker 2: to taste my soup bone because her little gnarled fist, 154 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,960 Speaker 2: and apparently that meant like it's just giving you the business, 155 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:21,360 Speaker 2: you know. Yeah, yeah, that was That was her famous catchphrase. 156 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:24,800 Speaker 1: Grandma would not have taken Opie's. 157 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:26,720 Speaker 2: If Stepmom tried to come in, she would have tasted 158 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,679 Speaker 2: the soup bone. I'll tell you how much and listen 159 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:29,600 Speaker 2: and don't taste good. 160 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,680 Speaker 1: So difficult in itself to process the loss of someone 161 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,560 Speaker 1: who is essential in my upbring showing unconditional love and 162 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,160 Speaker 1: teach me how to function like an adult when I 163 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,400 Speaker 1: was ready to step in the world. Well, that time 164 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,120 Speaker 1: is now. We laid my grandmother to rest at the 165 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,400 Speaker 1: end of last year. The way the deed was made, 166 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:47,920 Speaker 1: it transfers to me immediately at her death. So we're talking, 167 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,680 Speaker 1: we're talking that home is in Ope's life. 168 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:52,040 Speaker 2: Now, right. 169 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:57,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, the host my dad doesn't know. I have seen 170 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,240 Speaker 1: the will. I chose not to say anything of the 171 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,240 Speaker 1: upper hand. One of my step siblings in private, has 172 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 1: already asked for the deed to the house from my 173 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:09,160 Speaker 1: dad and stepmother. So it's all so fresh, and I 174 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 1: find it incredibly distasteful to reach out to me when 175 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,800 Speaker 1: we were still going over the process of settling an 176 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:18,920 Speaker 1: a state which is now a lifetime trust. Someone had 177 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:20,760 Speaker 1: to have given her my number as I changed it 178 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,760 Speaker 1: two years ago and was very selective who had the 179 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:27,920 Speaker 1: new number. So basically like somehow this person got Opie's 180 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:31,000 Speaker 1: number where they were very intentional about making it not 181 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:34,480 Speaker 1: too ever present on the interwebs. 182 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,080 Speaker 2: Low key, with no contact, yeah, lo qy, with no content. 183 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,600 Speaker 1: Her children would often ask us for money, and it 184 00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 1: got tiring. I felt like I was being used After 185 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:43,360 Speaker 1: a while. Well, my dad stayed at my grandparents' house 186 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,800 Speaker 1: during the week of the funeral. He's been taking things 187 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:48,200 Speaker 1: out of the home for years, little things here like 188 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:52,319 Speaker 1: vintage classware, et cetera. And out of precaution, I've changed 189 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:54,280 Speaker 1: the locks and put cameras up, not just to keep 190 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:57,600 Speaker 1: them out, but because various caregivers had keys to the 191 00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:00,520 Speaker 1: home and it's been sitting empty for the time. There's 192 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:02,080 Speaker 1: a lot of work that needs to be done, but 193 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:04,839 Speaker 1: it will have taken place this summer. I have no 194 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:09,240 Speaker 1: intentions of giving him my dad the house good. His 195 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:12,240 Speaker 1: attitude has never changed with me, and he won't answer 196 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,840 Speaker 1: my daughter's calls. That is so sad. It's all very subtle, 197 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:19,160 Speaker 1: but enough to cause alarm. I'm afraid he will take 198 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:23,440 Speaker 1: from the sheds, break in or try to fight me 199 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,600 Speaker 1: over it, like I guess because the dad feels like 200 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:29,960 Speaker 1: he deserves this house from the grandparents or his parents. 201 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:32,880 Speaker 2: He's like, hey, guys, me and stepmom, we were the 202 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,440 Speaker 2: one who fought him, you know, we we wanted in 203 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:36,640 Speaker 2: a dual, fair and square. 204 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:43,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, I emerged from that, BUDUSSI. I deserve the house. 205 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 1: You know. It's like, how sissy, Yeah, it's the house sussy, 206 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:48,400 Speaker 1: you know, Like like she came out of the house. 207 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,719 Speaker 1: I came out of her by transitive property. I came 208 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:53,319 Speaker 1: to the house. That's it's my house. 209 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:54,840 Speaker 2: Can't get in. He can't get inside. 210 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 1: This can't get I mean, I guess that's I got what. 211 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:00,199 Speaker 1: That's what grandma's saying. She's like, you know what, who 212 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,440 Speaker 1: came out? I closed those lakes for good, and I'm 213 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:04,959 Speaker 1: closing the door on you too. You're not crawling back 214 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:05,480 Speaker 1: up in there. 215 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:11,400 Speaker 2: This metaphor got to dangerous territory. Well, I'm just saying. 216 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,440 Speaker 1: I was thinking like the way of like a birth canal. 217 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:19,360 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'm sure, yeah, yeah, I apologize on behalf 218 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,000 Speaker 1: of the American people. 219 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:21,800 Speaker 2: There we go. 220 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:26,400 Speaker 1: Perhaps he is still grieving, or he now knows. I've 221 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:30,160 Speaker 1: seen the will, so id a whole refusing to give 222 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,960 Speaker 1: it to my dad. It's not like they left him 223 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 1: with nothing. He gets stocks and acres, But the way 224 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,120 Speaker 1: the will is drafted, everything he owns goes back to 225 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:43,160 Speaker 1: the estate and to then me, not to his wife 226 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:46,920 Speaker 1: and her kids when he passes m So. 227 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:50,200 Speaker 2: Basically it's like the way the will is written, it's like, hey, 228 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,679 Speaker 2: let's say you get, you know, ten acres and one 229 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,720 Speaker 2: hundred thousand in stocks. It goes to him now, but 230 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:59,400 Speaker 2: then when he dies, it's supposed to then go to OPE. Right, 231 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,439 Speaker 2: that's my which is interesting. I've never heard of that before. 232 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:05,560 Speaker 1: But it's I'm a little confused, to be honest, because 233 00:11:05,559 --> 00:11:07,800 Speaker 1: I could also see it where like everything goes to 234 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:12,680 Speaker 1: like this estate and OP can't really use it until 235 00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:15,360 Speaker 1: everything's clarified and like buttoned up, and then it goes 236 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:17,360 Speaker 1: to OP. I'm not really sure. Maybe we'll get more 237 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:22,160 Speaker 1: relevant comments and updates, but OP, as am I handling 238 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:25,400 Speaker 1: this right? How should I? And essentially I think the 239 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:29,960 Speaker 1: question here is when I'm inheriting all this stuff from 240 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:34,320 Speaker 1: my grandparents, is it okay that I just keep everything 241 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:41,040 Speaker 1: because of how massive a douche my stepmom is? That's 242 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:43,200 Speaker 1: the question I think that I think that's the question 243 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,520 Speaker 1: I answer is keep it because like and also like, 244 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,840 Speaker 1: am I the a hole for not giving my dad 245 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:50,560 Speaker 1: the house that they left to me? 246 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,240 Speaker 2: Yeah? It's like one no matter how even if your 247 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,840 Speaker 2: stepmom was like the opposite of who she was and 248 00:11:56,880 --> 00:12:00,760 Speaker 2: the nicest person on planet Earth, your grandparents put it 249 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:02,840 Speaker 2: in the will to give it to you, so it 250 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 2: is literally honoring their wishes and both like, legally, what 251 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,400 Speaker 2: is going it's at least gonna go to you first 252 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,600 Speaker 2: at a bare minimum, right, well, like, and then you 253 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,480 Speaker 2: don't have to give it away. That is like legally 254 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:17,520 Speaker 2: what you're entitled to. But also she isn't the nicest 255 00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:20,080 Speaker 2: person of the wist. She's literally the worst. She's she's 256 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:24,400 Speaker 2: a freaking grandpa Grandpa thomper. She's thomping on grandpa. 257 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:27,560 Speaker 1: So we we we. 258 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,199 Speaker 2: We can't have that. And I say, you are, You're 259 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:32,199 Speaker 2: actually the hero for not giving your dad and stepmom. 260 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:34,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, why would you want to reward bad behavior? 261 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:36,880 Speaker 2: Dude? Think if they get away with that, they're gonna 262 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:40,240 Speaker 2: be like, oh, let's let's run around the city and 263 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 2: find other other freaking granddads to squabble up with. Because 264 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:48,200 Speaker 2: if if us squabbling up with this grandpa earned us 265 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,559 Speaker 2: a house, who knows what we we got to give 266 00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:53,120 Speaker 2: the one two deally due to every Grandpa in the 267 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:56,160 Speaker 2: Tri state area, it would be billionaires. 268 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:59,079 Speaker 1: I feel like they got they gotta They got a 269 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,520 Speaker 1: powerful racket on their hands. So you know, they might 270 00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:04,360 Speaker 1: lose one grandpa house, but there's the blue ocean of 271 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:08,320 Speaker 1: Grandpa houses that that these two jokers can try to 272 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:11,120 Speaker 1: swindle their way into. But I don't think OP has 273 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:15,199 Speaker 1: to has to give them that that first proof of concept. Yeah, 274 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 1: I think that the the point that we both like, 275 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 1: that we know for sure is that Op's dad is 276 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,760 Speaker 1: not getting this house at least in the way that 277 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,480 Speaker 1: he thought. Yes, the house, the house in control. 278 00:13:27,679 --> 00:13:30,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, the house seemed like point blank going to 279 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:34,120 Speaker 2: O P. And that's why he's asking for it so aggressively. 280 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:37,719 Speaker 1: Exactly. Yeah. So I think, like conclusion, is OP the 281 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:41,160 Speaker 1: a hole for not giving this house to this absolute 282 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:42,040 Speaker 1: d bag. 283 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:45,360 Speaker 2: No, No, not even close. 284 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 1: Not even close. So relevant comments x R E b 285 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:53,400 Speaker 1: x b X says, you are definitely doing the right thing. 286 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:57,600 Speaker 1: Stick to your guns and don't feel bad about getting 287 00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:01,120 Speaker 1: authorities involves if you have to. His action are his own, 288 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:04,840 Speaker 1: and he can face any consequences that arise from them. 289 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:08,320 Speaker 1: This is your inheritance and there's a reason it's not his, 290 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:12,280 Speaker 1: because he was a d bag boom. Sally mannder One says, 291 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:17,200 Speaker 1: do not give any of these horrid people gosh darn thing. 292 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:17,680 Speaker 2: Darned. 293 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:21,040 Speaker 1: They are awful. Your grandparents intended for you to have 294 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:25,320 Speaker 1: everything for a good reason. Respect their wishes. You are 295 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:28,120 Speaker 1: not doing anything wrong. It is not your responsibility to 296 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:33,080 Speaker 1: protect people from the well deserved consequences of their actions, 297 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,080 Speaker 1: because how are they going to learn if they don't 298 00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:36,160 Speaker 1: have any consequences? 299 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:37,600 Speaker 2: Give them their stupid prizes. 300 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:40,320 Speaker 1: I doubt any of them would lift a finger to 301 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,680 Speaker 1: help you, but they are already all over you for 302 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:47,840 Speaker 1: you to do things for them. They are greedy, selfish 303 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:52,160 Speaker 1: little hobbitson and this is the result of their behavior. 304 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:55,840 Speaker 1: And oh, he has a post for legal advice in 305 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:58,400 Speaker 1: an update, So I'm just gonna jump straight into it, 306 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,800 Speaker 1: dive in. I thirty females have historically had a rough 307 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:04,360 Speaker 1: relationship with my father, sixty three male. I think we're 308 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:06,440 Speaker 1: gonna get a little backstory that we got a little 309 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,240 Speaker 1: bit before, but it's gonna get secap juice before. I 310 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 1: don't know if you could call us a strange but 311 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:13,960 Speaker 1: we have a fairly toxic relationship and I always end 312 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:17,560 Speaker 1: up going no contact when he throws his fits. In 313 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,520 Speaker 1: recent years, he's got an upset with me and threatened 314 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:24,160 Speaker 1: that I would be legally obligated to care for him 315 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:30,280 Speaker 1: when he becomes desolate. Desolate as in no money, no funds. 316 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:34,080 Speaker 1: Dessel is a crestlate notugh, then yes, as a crestolate. 317 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:38,000 Speaker 1: He is a veteran, so I had hoped that the 318 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:40,480 Speaker 1: VA would be of some sort of assistance. But this 319 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,440 Speaker 1: man has lied and stolen from me in my adult gears. 320 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:46,720 Speaker 1: As a teen, he simply put me last in favor 321 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:51,240 Speaker 1: of my stepmother and her children. I went through physical, emotional, 322 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,920 Speaker 1: and financial abuse. They continue to do so, but have 323 00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:56,720 Speaker 1: had less control of my life since I went to 324 00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:59,160 Speaker 1: college twelve years ago. So basically like they were stealing. 325 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:02,760 Speaker 1: They were taking control of Opie's life until college set 326 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:06,560 Speaker 1: op free. Well, for the last decade he has lived 327 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:10,280 Speaker 1: in RVs. Oh, he has nothing to show for savings 328 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:14,320 Speaker 1: out of twenty eight years served. Nothing. 329 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,920 Speaker 2: Wow. And that's with like with like a veteran's benefits 330 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,800 Speaker 2: and stuff. That's almost like hard to do. 331 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:24,600 Speaker 1: I maybe I have no idea, but do that sounds right? 332 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:26,920 Speaker 2: You can get could be pretty good, can be be 333 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:27,360 Speaker 2: pretty good? 334 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,880 Speaker 1: Really? What like I have? 335 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,600 Speaker 2: I know someone very close to me who's on who 336 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:35,239 Speaker 2: has like disabilities is our age. Yeah, and he gets 337 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,680 Speaker 2: like or is about to get four grand a month 338 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:41,200 Speaker 2: from that woo? What oh yeah, dud. 339 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:44,080 Speaker 1: Four grand a month from the military. 340 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:49,080 Speaker 2: Yeah for life. Uh, I'm not sure. I think that 341 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,400 Speaker 2: one might be coupled with like also going to school 342 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:54,240 Speaker 2: or something. I'm not I'm honestly one hundred percent shore, 343 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,240 Speaker 2: but I'm pretty pretty sure about that figure. 344 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:59,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's freaking crazy. He's pretty good, right, Can he 345 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:00,640 Speaker 1: work on this side or something? 346 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,600 Speaker 2: I believe he can still work. Yeah, he's he's like 347 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,760 Speaker 2: in school, he's like studying. He's getting his degree in 348 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,040 Speaker 2: criminology right now. He wants to work for like NCIS. 349 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:10,840 Speaker 1: Yo. Yeah, it's crazy. Shout out to the to the 350 00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:13,879 Speaker 1: v A. Yeah, Lewis says, I know someone who's a 351 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:18,600 Speaker 1: veteran that is disabled. He gets seven grand a month. 352 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:20,880 Speaker 1: There you go. When do you When are you going 353 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:21,560 Speaker 1: out for combat? 354 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:22,680 Speaker 2: Dude? Soon? 355 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:26,400 Speaker 1: Apparently we're shipping off right, John and Aging a podcast 356 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:27,440 Speaker 1: from like World War three. 357 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:30,680 Speaker 2: Dude, that listen that front lines. That's front line work 358 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:31,919 Speaker 2: right there. Yeah, that listen. 359 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:34,639 Speaker 1: Imagine us in a po like a like a like 360 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,280 Speaker 1: a podcast in the trenches, but in the trenches we're 361 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:40,640 Speaker 1: talking about the relationship dynamics, like within the platoon. 362 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,639 Speaker 2: We're not listened same we are. We are not the podcasters, 363 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:47,639 Speaker 2: uh the world deserves we're the podcasters the world needs. 364 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, you know what I'm saying. I feel like 365 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,679 Speaker 1: we would increase uh troop morale. I mean it's like 366 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,760 Speaker 1: you know, like in the like the twenties and for 367 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,359 Speaker 1: Arab actually probably more the forties where they would send 368 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,600 Speaker 1: like those girls and like the America skirts to go 369 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,000 Speaker 1: see the troops to boost morale. 370 00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:03,920 Speaker 2: That's us. Just send us in cow ononesies, cow Ononesi's 371 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:08,600 Speaker 2: improving their relationships. One Pott com You're welcome. You're welcome, America. 372 00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:12,480 Speaker 1: I imagine my stepmother spent it all. Fast forward to January. 373 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:16,359 Speaker 1: I inherited my late grandmother's home. It's been deeded to 374 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,440 Speaker 1: me since two thousand and one. He tried to move 375 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,640 Speaker 1: into it the day after the funeral. 376 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:23,080 Speaker 2: Wow. 377 00:18:23,119 --> 00:18:25,760 Speaker 1: I then changed the locks. He's now upset once again. 378 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,119 Speaker 1: This is an entire story in itself, but his character 379 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,679 Speaker 1: is why he got shafted out of the property and 380 00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:33,679 Speaker 1: his parents will. I fully intend on moving out of 381 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,800 Speaker 1: the forsaken state of Florida to move into my inherited 382 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,520 Speaker 1: Kentucky home to be mortgage free. I am a stay 383 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,520 Speaker 1: at home parent. My husband is the bread winner. So 384 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:45,440 Speaker 1: my question is when he or my stepmother falls into 385 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:48,359 Speaker 1: ill health, Will I be legally obligated to care for 386 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:51,439 Speaker 1: him as I don't have income of my own, or 387 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:55,320 Speaker 1: will they go after my husband's paychecks. I want free 388 00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:57,800 Speaker 1: of this man and the trauma and abuse he's historically 389 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,199 Speaker 1: put me through. I'm distraught thinking that one and they 390 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 1: I'll be saddled with caring or paying for their care 391 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,240 Speaker 1: with my daughter and I have always been the second best. 392 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,440 Speaker 1: My step siblings all live on welfare, so it's unlikely 393 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:12,360 Speaker 1: they will have financial means in the future. I mean, 394 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:14,560 Speaker 1: we've got some relevant comments from some people who actually 395 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:17,920 Speaker 1: know stuff, but I can't imagine he would be our 396 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 1: OPI would be obligated to pay for. 397 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,639 Speaker 2: Him unless they live in some contrubory. 398 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:26,960 Speaker 1: But I also America, right, Yes, yeah, I highly doubt it. 399 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,480 Speaker 2: Maybe op's just not familiar with like with the law, 400 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:31,639 Speaker 2: with the law, but yeah, I don't think you're legally 401 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:34,639 Speaker 2: obligated to and then morally, like, I think a lot 402 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,359 Speaker 2: of people are like, oh, but it's family and it's 403 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,720 Speaker 2: your parents, and I'm like, in my opinion, it's it 404 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,560 Speaker 2: is such a two way street. If someone just treats 405 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:43,680 Speaker 2: you like crap and you know, uses you in the 406 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,480 Speaker 2: way that Ope said throughout your life. I do not 407 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:49,119 Speaker 2: believe that you necessarily have an obligation, but maybe it's 408 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:51,359 Speaker 2: an opportunity to be like, hey, if you want any 409 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,840 Speaker 2: shot of me like helping you in your old age, 410 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,080 Speaker 2: get right. Yeah, if anything. 411 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,399 Speaker 1: Agreed, I think it's the best way we could do it. Yeah, well, 412 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:01,359 Speaker 1: we got some relevant comments. So dyeing dog Face Pony 413 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:05,920 Speaker 1: sixty six says, this is this is a law law redditor. 414 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:09,480 Speaker 1: So we're about to get some some tea from lying 415 00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:13,480 Speaker 1: dog face Pony the office of a law legal tea. Yeah, 416 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,240 Speaker 1: the legal legal tea. Based on what you described, neither 417 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:19,720 Speaker 1: you nor your husband will be obligated further in any way. 418 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:23,080 Speaker 1: His threat is idle. Let's freaking go. That feels like 419 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:25,960 Speaker 1: some like lawyer speak right there. W Yeah, dude, I 420 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:29,320 Speaker 1: believe it. Op posting more detailed slash, revised context slush 421 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:32,080 Speaker 1: small update on the matter. So Opier says, I thirty 422 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,199 Speaker 1: female and my father's sixty four male have historically had 423 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,639 Speaker 1: a rocky relationship. My parents divorce when I was five, 424 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,320 Speaker 1: and he married the woman he cheated on my mother with. 425 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,520 Speaker 1: I was an only child and she had four kids 426 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:43,880 Speaker 1: from a previous marriage. During my childhood years, I spent 427 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,720 Speaker 1: most of the allocated time dedicated to my father in 428 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,800 Speaker 1: the divorce with my paternal grandparents, same grandparents that gave 429 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,640 Speaker 1: ope the home every two weeks and forty two days 430 00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:54,879 Speaker 1: in the summer, they lived in a different state. I 431 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,880 Speaker 1: cherished the time I had with them, and they would 432 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,879 Speaker 1: always go to bout for me. There was some tension 433 00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,760 Speaker 1: caused early in my dad's new marriage due to my 434 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,720 Speaker 1: step mom demanding that my grandparents go back to the 435 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:08,040 Speaker 1: store one Christmas and get equal amounts of gifts for 436 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:11,879 Speaker 1: all her children, even taking some from me and gifting 437 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,639 Speaker 1: to her youngest. I spent many times waiting on my 438 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,040 Speaker 1: mom's sofa waiting for my dad to pick me up, 439 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:20,479 Speaker 1: and he never did. It's like those scenes in Arrested 440 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,680 Speaker 1: Development where they're sitting with the fish the fishing line 441 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:30,040 Speaker 1: waiting for their dad to come up. Sad, bro yeah, 442 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:33,080 Speaker 1: real sad. Literally, like when's my dad gonna pick me 443 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:34,680 Speaker 1: up for the fishing fishing trip? 444 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:37,080 Speaker 2: And like irl, I want to fish. 445 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,080 Speaker 1: I just want to fish. I just want a dad 446 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:40,240 Speaker 1: that will get my milk. 447 00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:42,520 Speaker 2: And maybe if we go to the lake we can 448 00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:44,200 Speaker 2: we can fish up a new dad, you know what 449 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:47,440 Speaker 2: I mean. But better better chances have been being a better. 450 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:53,160 Speaker 1: For honestly, freaking trout would be better than this would be. Yeah, 451 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,080 Speaker 1: at least we put it in like a little bowl. 452 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,240 Speaker 1: It wouldn't leave you, you know. 453 00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,320 Speaker 2: And then at the end of its life, he's delicious. 454 00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:04,000 Speaker 2: I'm just saying. I'm just saying a little seasoning of. 455 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:06,840 Speaker 1: A Yeah, dude, so your dad dies into like all 456 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:10,639 Speaker 1: you might be saddled with is dad that rainbow trout dies. 457 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:13,000 Speaker 1: You got you got a delicious meal. 458 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:16,639 Speaker 2: A little bit of salmond. That's disgusting, but your rainbow trout. 459 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,520 Speaker 2: Dad definitely wanted that. 460 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,200 Speaker 1: Is what that is A That is a bass pro 461 00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:27,040 Speaker 1: tip right there. I would later find out he was 462 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:31,480 Speaker 1: was on family vacations with his new family. I could 463 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,840 Speaker 1: spend all day telling Cinderella stories, but I need to 464 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:39,919 Speaker 1: keep focus on this story. My grandparents picked up his slack. 465 00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:44,400 Speaker 1: We spent summers learning how to make baskets, gardening, camping, 466 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:47,920 Speaker 1: and various activities they're in. Their home was a second 467 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,240 Speaker 1: home to me. When I was thirteen, I went to 468 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:53,399 Speaker 1: go live with my dad after some methodical brainwashing, and 469 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:59,399 Speaker 1: then I would rarely see my grandparents. My grandmother would 470 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,000 Speaker 1: call and they would ignore it. It would hurt my 471 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:05,520 Speaker 1: heart to see it on caller ID knowing they were 472 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:07,840 Speaker 1: just on the other line. But my dad and stepmother 473 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:11,280 Speaker 1: would not allow it unless I sat at a table 474 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:13,960 Speaker 1: with them while on a call. So like, I feel 475 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,680 Speaker 1: like the stepmother and father are just policing Ope's relationship with. 476 00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:21,360 Speaker 2: Their totally controlling to manipulate her environment. Yeah, got it. 477 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:24,640 Speaker 1: Out, Yeah, dude, Yeah, Which is like, it's like, you know, 478 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:28,840 Speaker 1: if you're gonna be policing, who can have contact with you? Like, 479 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:31,800 Speaker 1: try to show up even a little bit. Fast forward 480 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:34,040 Speaker 1: to summer of my freshman year, we went to visit 481 00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:36,119 Speaker 1: my dad's side of the family. On the last night, 482 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,560 Speaker 1: my aunt and uncle, who lived next door, asked if 483 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:42,280 Speaker 1: I could stay the night with my cousins. My stepmother 484 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:45,600 Speaker 1: wanted her youngest daughter to be included. They declined because 485 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:50,960 Speaker 1: my step sister was a thief geese. A fight ensued 486 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:54,520 Speaker 1: in front of the yard that night, resulting in physical altercations. 487 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:58,760 Speaker 1: My stepmother shoved my seventy year old pap to the ground. 488 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,640 Speaker 1: He had a hit replacement in the nineties and already 489 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:07,200 Speaker 1: had a stiff I was we're getting more context on 490 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:11,560 Speaker 1: the whole stopping on Grandpa's. Oh god, it was utterly 491 00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:15,480 Speaker 1: terrified and distraught. As the chaos ensued, I packed my 492 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:18,760 Speaker 1: belongings because they said we were leaving. I vowed then 493 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,399 Speaker 1: that this would be the last straw, and I would 494 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,959 Speaker 1: never forgive them. We missed their fiftieth wedding anniversary because 495 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:27,080 Speaker 1: my stepmom was still upset over what his family did 496 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,440 Speaker 1: to her that night. The next spring, my pap had 497 00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:32,639 Speaker 1: a stroke and it was never the same. So a 498 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:36,000 Speaker 1: year later, after the fatal pushion, the man that helped 499 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:40,639 Speaker 1: raise me during his son's shortcomings did not remember my 500 00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:43,320 Speaker 1: name because of the stroke. He died twenty fourteen. 501 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,960 Speaker 2: Dang, that sucks, the good one, I mean, hopefull hopefully 502 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,320 Speaker 2: he lived a good good It sound like he lived 503 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:49,320 Speaker 2: a long life. 504 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:51,919 Speaker 1: So yeah, the grandpa, that's good grandpa. Yeah, and he 505 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,280 Speaker 1: helped people, You help people, He did good well. Later 506 00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:58,320 Speaker 1: when I left home, I was eighteen and I went 507 00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:01,120 Speaker 1: to college and that's where I met my husband. 508 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,880 Speaker 2: Yes, good stuff. 509 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, we need some we need some love in here. 510 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:07,000 Speaker 2: Yeah. 511 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:10,080 Speaker 1: He's been my rock, hard card and helped when my 512 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:13,280 Speaker 1: dad throws fits. In the last few years when he 513 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:15,919 Speaker 1: doesn't get his way. He has showed me nothing but 514 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:19,560 Speaker 1: unconditional love and support and is the father to our child, 515 00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:22,600 Speaker 1: the father that mine could never muster to be. I 516 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,720 Speaker 1: go no contact with dad every couple of years because 517 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:27,560 Speaker 1: of behavior. Yeah, I feel like, I mean a certain 518 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:30,199 Speaker 1: point when you stop letting him in, like you like 519 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:31,720 Speaker 1: you know, when you're fixing. 520 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:34,760 Speaker 2: When you line. 521 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like you only could catch a fish, 522 00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:39,359 Speaker 1: like it has to be like like you know a 523 00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:41,360 Speaker 1: certain size where you have to throw it back. It's 524 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,320 Speaker 1: like you keep you know, you keep casting and you 525 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:46,000 Speaker 1: keep getting the same fish. That's like binding your line 526 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:48,359 Speaker 1: and it's like, yo, this is way too small and 527 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,679 Speaker 1: you keep throwing back at a certain time, it's like 528 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:52,200 Speaker 1: you gotta choose a different spot. 529 00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,399 Speaker 2: You know, or just or pick up I don't know, 530 00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:55,320 Speaker 2: knitting or something. 531 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:59,720 Speaker 1: Up knitting, dude, do something else because like obviously fishing 532 00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:04,960 Speaker 1: or this terrible father that has no scruples and it 533 00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:07,040 Speaker 1: is just like you know, a small fish, big pond, 534 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:08,240 Speaker 1: you gotta you gotta go somewhere else. 535 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:12,000 Speaker 2: Some could say, uh, opie, possibly like us needs to 536 00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:15,200 Speaker 2: move on from the fishing, Yeah, from the fish, possibly 537 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:19,320 Speaker 2: possibly into brighter pastures. 538 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:22,360 Speaker 1: Big big if, big if from the lake to the pastors. 539 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:22,720 Speaker 2: Yeah. 540 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:24,520 Speaker 1: I go no counter with my dad every couple of 541 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:28,960 Speaker 1: years because of his behavior. There is an old saying 542 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:32,840 Speaker 1: that time heals all wounds, but I don't believe that 543 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:36,040 Speaker 1: to always be true. I maintained a relationship with my 544 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:39,879 Speaker 1: mommy paternal grandmother until her death in December. She was 545 00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:41,720 Speaker 1: a cheeky one who left notes for us to find 546 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,600 Speaker 1: after her death. That is awesome. This woman never forgot 547 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:48,280 Speaker 1: a thing when she felt slighted. That also reflected in 548 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,960 Speaker 1: her will. I inherit the house that has been needed 549 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,440 Speaker 1: to me since two thousand and one. Bat My dad 550 00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:55,240 Speaker 1: knew they would give it to me, but I honestly 551 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:57,919 Speaker 1: think he thought he had a chance of fighting me 552 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:01,320 Speaker 1: for it. Since twenty twelve, he and my stepmother have 553 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,040 Speaker 1: been living an RV that is now starting to fall apart. 554 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:06,760 Speaker 1: He is retired military guy and has no savings. Right 555 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:10,359 Speaker 1: after the funeral, he stashed his belongings in closets. I 556 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:13,400 Speaker 1: discovered this after I changed the locks and added cameras 557 00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:15,800 Speaker 1: as I left out of state and wanted security for 558 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,280 Speaker 1: the home before I sell my house and move into 559 00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:21,439 Speaker 1: my childhood home. I put his stuff and what was 560 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:25,119 Speaker 1: owed to him in storage and gave my uncle the keys. 561 00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:29,520 Speaker 1: After learning this, he's been furious. My step siblings keep 562 00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,800 Speaker 1: reaching out, telling me I'm heartless for keeping him out 563 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,760 Speaker 1: of his parents home. He called crying, and I coldly 564 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,240 Speaker 1: told him, if they wanted him to have it, they 565 00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:40,040 Speaker 1: would have left it to him. 566 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:41,919 Speaker 2: Boom, which is kind of like, that's it. 567 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:43,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's yeah, that's it. 568 00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:45,400 Speaker 2: If they wanted to have it, they would have given 569 00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:45,719 Speaker 2: it to him. 570 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:48,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, very simple. I can't argue with that. I can't 571 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:51,320 Speaker 1: argue with that, you know. I also told him he 572 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,119 Speaker 1: should have treated his parents better when they were alive. 573 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:56,760 Speaker 1: I had the deed in my hands and there's nothing 574 00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,159 Speaker 1: left for him to do about it. The estate is 575 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:01,959 Speaker 1: almost settled, and what land he does get will also 576 00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:04,879 Speaker 1: have my name on the deed. I would rather share 577 00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,399 Speaker 1: my child at home with my daughter and all the 578 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:11,200 Speaker 1: whimsical things that had to offer, even if my dad 579 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:12,720 Speaker 1: ends up homeless. 580 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:13,159 Speaker 2: Boom. 581 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:16,360 Speaker 1: There's some relevant comments, but that's a big that's big 582 00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:19,800 Speaker 1: fighting words. Those are some big words. I mean, yeah, 583 00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:20,879 Speaker 1: I guess do you agree or are you? 584 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:21,159 Speaker 2: Are you? 585 00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:23,040 Speaker 1: Are you in homeless homeless dad camp. 586 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:27,359 Speaker 2: Well to do the classic to what a camp to be? 587 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:29,760 Speaker 2: And you know I've listen, I love camping and all, 588 00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:32,280 Speaker 2: but like that's probably not the camp that I would, 589 00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:34,720 Speaker 2: you know, I want to belong to. It's not not 590 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:38,200 Speaker 2: a boy scouts, you know, getting out there. 591 00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:41,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is this is uh, very the meth pipe 592 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:45,120 Speaker 1: kind of camp rather than a Marshpallow A lot of 593 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:47,240 Speaker 1: those in Florida, but you got you got open fires 594 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:49,320 Speaker 1: in Bold and I think that's what it's about. 595 00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:53,120 Speaker 2: It's just about getting out there. So to do the 596 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 2: classic thing that you always do to me, would I 597 00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:56,360 Speaker 2: do this? 598 00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:58,400 Speaker 1: I love that you've internalized my voice. 599 00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:01,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I was. It was like boo, it went 600 00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:04,760 Speaker 2: right back to me. I would probably come up with 601 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,840 Speaker 2: some sort like like like if it was this is 602 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,120 Speaker 2: really hard because I think you definitely sit him down 603 00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:13,400 Speaker 2: and be like, listen, you never took care of me 604 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:18,120 Speaker 2: as a child, so really I shouldn't be obligated to 605 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:19,200 Speaker 2: take care of you. 606 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, like you're just some guy. You're not like yeah, 607 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:26,000 Speaker 1: like you weren't a father. We might be biologically related, 608 00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:27,320 Speaker 1: but like you're just here's the guy. 609 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:31,000 Speaker 2: I think whatever you do definitely like cut him out 610 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:34,880 Speaker 2: and cut off all communication, like go no contact for good, 611 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:37,920 Speaker 2: but maybe if you have some I don't know, it's 612 00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:39,920 Speaker 2: like you don't want to see him like on the streets, 613 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:41,400 Speaker 2: but you also don't want to be burdened with I 614 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:41,880 Speaker 2: don't know, I'm. 615 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:45,440 Speaker 1: Kind of lost, you know, my I think like there's 616 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:48,880 Speaker 1: a there's like a middle line to walk here, yes, 617 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:53,520 Speaker 1: And I really think optimizing for what is going to 618 00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,960 Speaker 1: be the least amount of burden for you, right, And 619 00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:00,360 Speaker 1: I actually think letting him be homeless my be a 620 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:03,800 Speaker 1: burden for you, and also letting him walk all over 621 00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:05,080 Speaker 1: you and take your house is gonna be a burden 622 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:08,160 Speaker 1: for you. But there's this line somewhere in between where 623 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:10,880 Speaker 1: you could like I don't know that you said there, 624 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:13,640 Speaker 1: you're you're gonna have land right that is inherited on 625 00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:15,160 Speaker 1: behalf of him, or like you're gonna be on the 626 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:17,560 Speaker 1: deed for that land. Yeah, you just haveing move his 627 00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:22,120 Speaker 1: RV Yeah yeah, like yeah, that that that that land 628 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,600 Speaker 1: that he kind of inherited. I'm a little wishy washy 629 00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:27,280 Speaker 1: on like all the inheritance rules and regulations, but like 630 00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:30,320 Speaker 1: have him pull pull his freaking piece of junk RV 631 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,240 Speaker 1: on there. There's not gonna be fees because you own 632 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:36,440 Speaker 1: the land and at least he has that, so like 633 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,920 Speaker 1: he's not homeless, but like you're also so you don't 634 00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:43,080 Speaker 1: have to worry about taking care of him super in depth. 635 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:46,080 Speaker 1: But he's not a drag on the life that you 636 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:49,040 Speaker 1: want with your children. And this the familial home. So 637 00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:51,000 Speaker 1: I feel like it's, you know, something something in between. 638 00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:53,479 Speaker 2: I agree. I agree. If you have the money for it, 639 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:56,120 Speaker 2: maybe you do something like you get like a real 640 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:58,160 Speaker 2: cheap mobile home or something. If the r V is 641 00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,560 Speaker 2: truly like completely broken down, and you you don't say 642 00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,560 Speaker 2: that you're gonna do it, but you almost like again 643 00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:04,840 Speaker 2: you say, like I'm almost thinking you're like, hey, listen, 644 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:06,560 Speaker 2: I can't take care of you because you took care 645 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:09,360 Speaker 2: of me, and like set that expectation and then you. 646 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:12,400 Speaker 1: Over over to deliver and I promise over deliver again 647 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,240 Speaker 1: the classic John motto. 648 00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:18,000 Speaker 2: Yeah or alternative? Do you say, hey, look, here's the 649 00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:21,160 Speaker 2: deal I will give you like this this mobile home, 650 00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:24,080 Speaker 2: will set it up on your property whatever. If you like, 651 00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:27,040 Speaker 2: sign to go no contact with me, like you leave 652 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:29,480 Speaker 2: me the f alone. What do we think about that chat? 653 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:32,920 Speaker 2: I'm very curious wondering if this is I mean, like 654 00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:36,400 Speaker 2: there's you're helping him not be homeless, which is huge, 655 00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:38,360 Speaker 2: which is huge. Like you said, it's like you're kind 656 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:40,640 Speaker 2: of you freaking clear, have the land and a like 657 00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,959 Speaker 2: a house structure on top of it, and then you 658 00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:45,520 Speaker 2: don't have to deal with him anymore. 659 00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:50,760 Speaker 1: I'm like not a fan of permanent walls. I was 660 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:52,800 Speaker 1: talking to my dad about this yesterday, and he was 661 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:56,080 Speaker 1: talking about like how to maintain good relationships with like 662 00:31:56,280 --> 00:32:00,800 Speaker 1: family and siblings and just friends over decades rather than years. 663 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:03,600 Speaker 1: And what he was saying is like, you know, naturally 664 00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:07,200 Speaker 1: people grow hard, people have conflict, but as long as 665 00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,600 Speaker 1: you never put up permanent walls, usually you can like 666 00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:12,760 Speaker 1: navigate through all that conflict. And obviously, like this dad 667 00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:18,160 Speaker 1: has been egregiously terrible. But I think by I like, 668 00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:23,640 Speaker 1: on principle, putting up a permanent wall like that may 669 00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:27,200 Speaker 1: feel bad long term, but you know, I think a 670 00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:29,280 Speaker 1: lot of people in chat might disagree. Like Eli is saying, 671 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:31,400 Speaker 1: like you owe him nothing. He got land, he can 672 00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,720 Speaker 1: do what he needs with it. Yeah, I think I 673 00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:37,120 Speaker 1: think for me, on principle, I would probably not do that, 674 00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:40,080 Speaker 1: just because like the idea of permanent walls, I think 675 00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:45,280 Speaker 1: creates just bad blood. It's just some vibes, yeah, bad 676 00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:47,440 Speaker 1: juju vibes that are gonna, like, you know, come back 677 00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:50,320 Speaker 1: to hit, like haunt you. Something I actually am. Something 678 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:52,280 Speaker 1: I've been reflecting on is like I had this person 679 00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:54,560 Speaker 1: that I was like friend group friends with that wanted 680 00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:56,680 Speaker 1: to get closer to me, and I said, like, hey, 681 00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:59,720 Speaker 1: like I have like a lot of friendships. I'm like, 682 00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:02,200 Speaker 1: I don't. I don't have much time, but I would 683 00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:04,160 Speaker 1: love to stay friend group friends with you. And I 684 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:06,440 Speaker 1: feel like that was like a hard and fast wall 685 00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:10,400 Speaker 1: that like didn't allow a lot of opportunity for change growth, 686 00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:12,760 Speaker 1: and I think she ended up hating me for that. 687 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:16,240 Speaker 1: So like, like in retrospect, I feel like putting up 688 00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:19,120 Speaker 1: that was like a heart obviously not as intense as 689 00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,160 Speaker 1: what you're suggesting, but it was a hard and fast 690 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:26,360 Speaker 1: wall that I feel like was not beneficial. And so, yeah, 691 00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:28,840 Speaker 1: temporary walls, But what do you think? 692 00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:31,360 Speaker 2: I mean, it's an interesting perspective. I think I think 693 00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:33,480 Speaker 2: it basically goes in line with like the always take 694 00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:35,880 Speaker 2: the high road, which I think is a extremely good 695 00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:39,000 Speaker 2: philosophy and extremely hardful to live by and very hard 696 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:42,040 Speaker 2: but I do think an OP specific case, while it's 697 00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,440 Speaker 2: like okay, maybe you don't literally make him, you know, 698 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,040 Speaker 2: sign a document that's like I will never contact you, 699 00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:51,160 Speaker 2: da da da da, I do still think that like 700 00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:56,520 Speaker 2: OP going uh no contact, like low contact essentially where 701 00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:58,360 Speaker 2: it's like, well, what how how have we phrased it before? 702 00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:02,680 Speaker 2: It's like you don't contact them except for major things, 703 00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:04,920 Speaker 2: or like it's it's not like again, it's not like 704 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:05,320 Speaker 2: the walls. 705 00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:07,280 Speaker 1: It's not the wall is up, but like you're doing 706 00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:11,359 Speaker 1: and intentional things to put up boundaries to your spaces safe. Yeah, 707 00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,439 Speaker 1: and I think that that feels like the best thing. 708 00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:19,040 Speaker 2: And I do truly think that like OP deserves and 709 00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:24,080 Speaker 2: should not be in regular communication because she's dealt with 710 00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:26,560 Speaker 2: it all her life. She has her own family, she 711 00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,839 Speaker 2: has all these things. I do feel like it will 712 00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:31,680 Speaker 2: be a productive thing for her, and who knows, maybe 713 00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:35,320 Speaker 2: after like years and years of the no contact, maybe 714 00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,040 Speaker 2: she's like, hey, let me reach out again, or whatever 715 00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:38,440 Speaker 2: the case may be. Maybe that's what she does every 716 00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,840 Speaker 2: few years. But yeah, I feel like, hey, you know 717 00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:44,799 Speaker 2: what if you want to keep make it as high 718 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:47,480 Speaker 2: road as possible, don't need design anything. But just like 719 00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:48,399 Speaker 2: give yourself space. 720 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:52,680 Speaker 1: H high road is possible while still ensuring you prioritize 721 00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:53,759 Speaker 1: your own health happiness. 722 00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:57,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, at least said the high road is not stomping 723 00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:01,600 Speaker 2: step mam like she stopped Grandfa. That's so true. 724 00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:04,840 Speaker 1: I love that. 725 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:07,239 Speaker 2: That's a legendary line right there. That's a that's an 726 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:08,800 Speaker 2: okay st alzheimers. 727 00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:12,000 Speaker 1: But we got we got some relevant comments. 728 00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:12,960 Speaker 2: Let's get back to it. 729 00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:14,520 Speaker 1: Let's let's rock back in