1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,360 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,960 Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcasts. 3 00:00:05,559 --> 00:00:08,360 Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you. 4 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:11,320 Speaker 1: But the thing is, this foundation needs a little support 5 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll 6 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:15,760 Speaker 1: get into the episode. 7 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:20,040 Speaker 3: My friend's husband pretended to be her to ask me 8 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,720 Speaker 3: to be their third Oh. 9 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:25,400 Speaker 4: I don't understand what's going on, but I don't think 10 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:25,920 Speaker 4: I like it. 11 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:26,640 Speaker 2: Uh. 12 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 3: This is an our slash Okay Storytime subreddit submission. 13 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 4: So this is one of y'all okay wow wowee. 14 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,120 Speaker 2: Uh, this is a doozy. 15 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:38,920 Speaker 3: I am a twenty seven year old female and this 16 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:42,240 Speaker 3: friend is also twenty seven and female. So my friend 17 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:46,279 Speaker 3: at the time, let's call her Jessica, started seeing this 18 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 3: guy toward the end of twenty twenty. No one in 19 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:50,559 Speaker 3: our friend group liked him. 20 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:51,680 Speaker 4: She knew this. 21 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:54,120 Speaker 3: After about a year of them seeing each other, they 22 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,959 Speaker 3: got engaged. This guy pretty much only is with her 23 00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 3: for spicy time. 24 00:00:58,600 --> 00:00:59,279 Speaker 2: Don't like that. 25 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,040 Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Witchy Woman nineteen ninety eight, 26 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 3: And if you want to spend your own stories, go 27 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:04,800 Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay Storytime. 28 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:05,240 Speaker 4: Separate it. 29 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:08,680 Speaker 3: So one of our mutual friends came to me and said, 30 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:15,280 Speaker 3: how Jessica's man asked her for a double sloppy toppy repeatedly, 31 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:19,560 Speaker 3: even though she says no, we're reading this story. I 32 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:23,240 Speaker 3: always get these stories because she was in a relationship. 33 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:29,959 Speaker 3: You tried bribing her with victorious secret. All right, I'll 34 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,640 Speaker 3: talk about that later. When she yelled at him saying no, 35 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:37,120 Speaker 3: he said it was just a joke. A few days 36 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,040 Speaker 3: after she told me about this, I get a text 37 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:43,319 Speaker 3: from Jessica's number asking if I would do a double 38 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 3: sloppy toppy or just spicy time in general with her 39 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:51,720 Speaker 3: and her man. I immediate responded saying no, and you 40 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,480 Speaker 3: should know better than ask me. I'm not into that 41 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:56,760 Speaker 3: type of spicy time. I would never consider it with 42 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:57,160 Speaker 3: a friend. 43 00:01:57,920 --> 00:01:58,160 Speaker 5: Uh. 44 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:02,040 Speaker 3: Ever, the next day I get a FaceTime from her 45 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:04,360 Speaker 3: and I mentioned that I'm super irritated that she. 46 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 4: Sent that text. She swore she didn't know what I was. 47 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,600 Speaker 3: Talking about, but the look on her face went red 48 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:13,919 Speaker 3: with embarrassment, and she said her fiance sent it without 49 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:14,720 Speaker 3: her knowing. 50 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:15,639 Speaker 4: Oh. 51 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:18,040 Speaker 3: After this, I had run into them both, and he 52 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 3: tried asking me again and tried telling me each spoiled 53 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:24,639 Speaker 3: me with Victoria's secret seems to be his gotu. 54 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:26,240 Speaker 4: I've lat out said no. 55 00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 3: I told her that I didn't believe she didn't know 56 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:31,960 Speaker 3: that I don't support them getting married and wouldn't attend 57 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:35,200 Speaker 3: the wedding do to now being uncomfortable around her fiance. 58 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 3: Valid so valid, she didn't believe me and kept asking 59 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:44,240 Speaker 3: me to be your wedding photographer. Two piasa pod Yu, 60 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,919 Speaker 3: keep asking you to do things for them and telling 61 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:48,720 Speaker 3: me where she was gonna seat me if I didn't 62 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,280 Speaker 3: want to do pictures. When it came to her actual 63 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:54,640 Speaker 3: wedding twenty twenty three, no one in our friend group 64 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:58,960 Speaker 3: showed up. In fact, only one of her friends not 65 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:02,160 Speaker 3: in our mutual group showed up because we all didn't 66 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 3: like him. Since then, we all distanced ourselves from her 67 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,560 Speaker 3: and even told her why. She would then message us 68 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:11,400 Speaker 3: irritated we never wanted to hang out with her, never 69 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,080 Speaker 3: messaged her first, and would say we're all ales for 70 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 3: not going to her wedding, saying we didn't support the marriage. 71 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,480 Speaker 3: I would be civil with her, told her I was 72 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:21,520 Speaker 3: too busy with things to hang out every time she 73 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,040 Speaker 3: did this, and also reminded her I didn't want to 74 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:28,320 Speaker 3: be around her husband seems how he can't seem to 75 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 3: be away from her for more than a half hour 76 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 3: without telling her to get home. She went off on 77 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 3: me a few months ago, saying how I was the 78 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 3: biggest a hole for not showing up to our wedding 79 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 3: since I had known her the longest in our friend group. 80 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 3: Instead of responding, I blocked her number in all of 81 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:49,720 Speaker 3: her socials. Two days later, someone still on her Facebook 82 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:53,320 Speaker 3: sent me a screenshot oh she had posted to Facebook 83 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,360 Speaker 3: saying she was happy she was no longer my friend 84 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,720 Speaker 3: because I never cared about her, even though she was 85 00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 3: always welcome at my parents when she was fighting with 86 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 3: her parents and brother or was in a fight with 87 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 3: her fiance. But the unexpected update a few days later, 88 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 3: she tried getting a hold of me on my business 89 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 3: Instagram account, as well as her husband trying to talk. 90 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 3: I told her to stop getting a hold of me, 91 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:19,400 Speaker 3: didn't respond to her creep harmful husband then blocked her 92 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 3: on my business accounts on all social media because apparently 93 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 3: it wasn't obvious I was completely done with her when 94 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,760 Speaker 3: I blocked her a few months ago, not even responding 95 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,120 Speaker 3: to her five paragraph text of all the reasons as 96 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:31,760 Speaker 3: to why I am an. 97 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:36,200 Speaker 4: A hole, comments comment one, you made the right call. 98 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:39,120 Speaker 3: As for your friend, she's heading towards one of those 99 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 3: open marriages, which I don't know if she's heading towards it. 100 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 3: I think she's in I think she's already in it 101 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 3: where he pushes for it. But it's really just an 102 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,200 Speaker 3: excuse for him to cheat. 103 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:56,839 Speaker 4: He's already cheating. He's already cheating. He's propositioning woman. They're 104 00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:01,280 Speaker 4: just not accepting. He's trying to. He's just feeling at 105 00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 4: it because no one likes him. He's just weird and creepy. 106 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 3: Eventually, she'll be on Reddit sharing how her husband drove 107 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,800 Speaker 3: her away from all her friends by being creepy and 108 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:13,320 Speaker 3: using the open marriage to sleep around. She'll become a 109 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:16,560 Speaker 3: hollow version of herself, not realizing why she can't seem 110 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:20,120 Speaker 3: to maintain any lasting friendships with other women. Until then, 111 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,480 Speaker 3: stay away from her and her husband as long as 112 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:27,600 Speaker 3: you can, including no contact. This guy will only cause 113 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:30,839 Speaker 3: more trouble down the line, Opie says in her last 114 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 3: text of her telling. 115 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:35,000 Speaker 4: Me how I was an ale. 116 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,919 Speaker 3: She tried telling me she didn't understand why everyone uses 117 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,919 Speaker 3: her husband as an excuse because he's only for her. 118 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,560 Speaker 3: Yet he has asked more than just me and the 119 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,919 Speaker 3: other friend I mentioned in the story. For this, he 120 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:49,040 Speaker 3: actually got hit in the face by the one friend 121 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,440 Speaker 3: that showed up at the wedding for asking her while 122 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:55,000 Speaker 3: she was pregnant. Comment too, I'm sure once she catches 123 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,840 Speaker 3: him in bed with one or two of her new friends, 124 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,720 Speaker 3: she'll reach back out to you and ask for support. 125 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,559 Speaker 3: He sounds like a total creep. And I don't blame 126 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:06,320 Speaker 3: you for keeping your distance. Oh, he says, I probably 127 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,479 Speaker 3: won't try to be friends with her again if she 128 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,800 Speaker 3: finds a way to contact me if slash when that happens. 129 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,080 Speaker 3: This is just the tip of the iceberg with drama 130 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 3: when it comes to this friend. She's cheated on past boyfriends, 131 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:21,080 Speaker 3: stolen friend's boyfriends, stolen things from multiple friends. 132 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,159 Speaker 4: Oh, can't another friend money? 133 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 3: There's always job hop and yet complains when she struggles 134 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:29,240 Speaker 3: to find a job, and she constantly threatens to throw 135 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:32,160 Speaker 3: hands and throw stuff at people who disagree with her. 136 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:35,680 Speaker 4: Oh my god, Okay, she sounds delightfit. There's quite a 137 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:36,400 Speaker 4: few reasons. 138 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:39,839 Speaker 5: Yeah, Because to University of how to become a better person, 139 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:40,440 Speaker 5: One on one. 140 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:41,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, it doesn't. 141 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:44,400 Speaker 3: Seem like he's the only problem in this relationship, not 142 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,560 Speaker 3: at all. She also tries to copy things her friends 143 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,280 Speaker 3: want to do. I sat there and mentioned going into 144 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:52,920 Speaker 3: real estate, possibly as a career, and. 145 00:06:52,839 --> 00:06:56,240 Speaker 4: She started taking courses less than a week later, then 146 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:58,120 Speaker 4: got mad when I was honest with her and told 147 00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 4: her she'd be a horrid realtor because she can't control 148 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 4: her mouth or her fists. Common three. 149 00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:07,840 Speaker 3: I would definitely end that friendship. Opie says it's been 150 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,520 Speaker 3: ended for a bit now, not planning on re kindling 151 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 3: it ever. Update my ex boyfriend left me just to 152 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 3: end up with his sister's pregnant best friend. 153 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:21,680 Speaker 4: Less than a week later. Whoa, this is a whole 154 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,120 Speaker 4: nother story. This is all another story. 155 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:25,640 Speaker 2: What uh? 156 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 3: This is my second post in here. My ex friend 157 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,960 Speaker 3: from my last post title is the along the lines 158 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 3: of am I aol for not going to my friend's 159 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:36,240 Speaker 3: wedding after her husband wanted spicy time with both of us? 160 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 3: Set me up with a guy let's call him Chris, 161 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,240 Speaker 3: she considered to be like a brother back in twenty twenty. 162 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:47,800 Speaker 3: Anyone this woman considers to be a very close friend 163 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:54,080 Speaker 3: cannot be great yep. I twenty two at the time, 164 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 3: don't really date. Guys don't really seem attracted to me. 165 00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:02,560 Speaker 3: I'm a bigger woman with HG DSPCS pots among other issues. 166 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:06,960 Speaker 3: What guy seem interested only seems to be interested to 167 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 3: get me in the bedroom, so I rarely get to 168 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:10,760 Speaker 3: the relationship basis. 169 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 4: Oh. Chris twenty three at the time, had a child 170 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,120 Speaker 4: from a previous marriage, and my ex friend thought he 171 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 4: was looking for someone to settle down with after the 172 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,440 Speaker 4: stuff he went through with his ex. 173 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:21,320 Speaker 2: She was violent. 174 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:23,760 Speaker 3: Oh no, I was ify due to the last guys 175 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:26,520 Speaker 3: I tried dating with kids, leading me on just to 176 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:29,480 Speaker 3: ghost me after a few weeks, but I finally caved 177 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:31,000 Speaker 3: and had her tell him to message me. 178 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:33,559 Speaker 4: We talked and hung out for a few weeks to 179 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:33,960 Speaker 4: a month. 180 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 3: He said he wasn't sure if he wanted a relationship. 181 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:40,160 Speaker 3: What was hoping he would be soon. I told him 182 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,719 Speaker 3: there was no rush because I'd rather be sure than 183 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 3: him lead me on. About a week after he told 184 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:48,800 Speaker 3: me that, he asked me to be his girlfriend, and 185 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:51,640 Speaker 3: I asked him if he was sure, being it wasn't 186 00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:53,480 Speaker 3: long after he said he wasn't sure if he was 187 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:56,840 Speaker 3: ready for one he told me he was one hundred 188 00:08:56,840 --> 00:09:00,199 Speaker 3: and ten percent sure he was ready, so I said, yeah, yes, 189 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:04,000 Speaker 3: Oh I don't think. 190 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:04,480 Speaker 4: He used right. 191 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:06,120 Speaker 2: I don't think so either. 192 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:09,200 Speaker 4: About a week into us dating, he decides he wants 193 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:12,880 Speaker 4: me to meet his family. A week red flags? Red flags? 194 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:18,000 Speaker 4: A week into a man? What is't it talking into? Like? No, 195 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:19,280 Speaker 4: they just started dating? 196 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,320 Speaker 2: Is really? 197 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:26,520 Speaker 3: I think in this relationship, I think he's like ok 198 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 3: which I figured was going to happen quick, being they 199 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:33,560 Speaker 3: all lived across the street from my friend Okay, and 200 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,079 Speaker 3: I was going over there quite often. 201 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,199 Speaker 4: That makes a little bit of sense. 202 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:41,600 Speaker 3: All of his family seemed to love me, except for 203 00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:45,960 Speaker 3: his sister Lola. That weekend I met his family. His 204 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:48,360 Speaker 3: sister showed up with her baby daddy and her pregnant 205 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:52,800 Speaker 3: best friend. This was Chris's first time meeting Lola's best friend, Grace. 206 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:56,960 Speaker 3: As I was talking to Lola before they left, I noticed, 207 00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 3: for some reason, when Grace said bye, she hugged onto 208 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 3: Chris for an awkwardly long time. 209 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:05,760 Speaker 4: Oohoo. 210 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,520 Speaker 3: I mean, Chris looks sort of uncomfortable with how long 211 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:11,640 Speaker 3: it was, so I wasn't concerned, especially being Chris hadn't 212 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,400 Speaker 3: given me any reason to really not trust him. A 213 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,960 Speaker 3: couple days later, my ex friend tells me Grace thought 214 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:20,559 Speaker 3: I hated her because of the hug. So I went 215 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:22,760 Speaker 3: and found her social media and messaged her to let 216 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:24,560 Speaker 3: her know I didn't hate her, as I had no 217 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:28,360 Speaker 3: reason to not trust Chris. For some reason, Chris at 218 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:32,240 Speaker 3: this point had gone radio silent on me. We went 219 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,680 Speaker 3: from texting and video chatting very often to him leaving 220 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:37,760 Speaker 3: me on red or giving me one to do word 221 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,560 Speaker 3: responses other than him telling me he was going through 222 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:44,040 Speaker 3: something mentally and thought he needed some space. I thought 223 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,600 Speaker 3: it was a bit weird, but said I understood and 224 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:50,080 Speaker 3: left him be for about a week. After a week, 225 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:54,440 Speaker 3: he just continued to leave me on Red. His family 226 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:57,640 Speaker 3: would ask me if we were still together. I would 227 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 3: just say at this point, I don't know. Go ask 228 00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:02,920 Speaker 3: him yourself, because he doesn't know how to respond to me. 229 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,880 Speaker 4: Dude, truly, like, why are they asking you? Yeah. 230 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,280 Speaker 3: About a month after he asked me to be his girlfriend, 231 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:12,160 Speaker 3: two months since we started talking, he comes over to 232 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,720 Speaker 3: my ex friend's house in a T shirt I gifted 233 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,560 Speaker 3: him with his kid I haven't met before. Oh wow, 234 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,800 Speaker 3: mind you he's still leaving me on red other than 235 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,239 Speaker 3: a couple one word responses. 236 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:22,680 Speaker 6: What. 237 00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:25,920 Speaker 3: Three to four days after that, I get a message 238 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:28,520 Speaker 3: from Grace asking if Chris and I are still together. 239 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:33,280 Speaker 4: Oh, He's like, I don't, I don't know. I asked him. Yeah, 240 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,120 Speaker 4: I told her to ask him because he's not responding 241 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:36,320 Speaker 4: to me. 242 00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 3: She responded to that with you should ask him again. So, 243 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,440 Speaker 3: of course, being that is a weird message to see 244 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:47,080 Speaker 3: from another a female, I asked Chris lo and behold 245 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:52,840 Speaker 3: he does not respond. Shocker, shocking, Wow, Chris not responding 246 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:53,959 Speaker 3: so out of the norm. 247 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 4: What. 248 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:57,280 Speaker 3: A couple days later, I'm sick of it and message 249 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,400 Speaker 3: Chris and go we need to talk cause are we 250 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:03,760 Speaker 3: even to other? He responds with I'm sorry, but I 251 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,760 Speaker 3: forced myself to be in a relationship with you when 252 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,720 Speaker 3: I wasn't ready for one. Again, I'm sorry. 253 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:14,439 Speaker 4: You got it. I hate this. 254 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:18,240 Speaker 3: It's so frustrating when people who aren't ready for a 255 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:20,760 Speaker 3: relationship are like I wouldn't. 256 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,240 Speaker 4: Do it anyway, like when they know not not. 257 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 3: Just like oh you know, like I didn't realize, like 258 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,679 Speaker 3: they know they know they're not ready. Because he said 259 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:32,800 Speaker 3: he wasn't ready, and then a week later it was like, oh, 260 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:33,040 Speaker 3: do you. 261 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,040 Speaker 4: Want to be our girlfriend. He's sure. When you're not ready, don't, 262 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:39,559 Speaker 4: don't force yourself to be in a relationship. Yeah, with 263 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:43,400 Speaker 4: someone the other person. It's so not fair. 264 00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:44,679 Speaker 2: It's so not fair. 265 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:45,960 Speaker 4: You are being selfish. 266 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:46,520 Speaker 2: Yes. 267 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 3: Two days later he blocks me on everything. About two 268 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,880 Speaker 3: days after that, I see on Grace's Facebook that here 269 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,479 Speaker 3: that Hurt and Chris are in our relationship. 270 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:58,920 Speaker 4: Oh, look at that. So all the time when Grace 271 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,720 Speaker 4: is like, you should ask him if you're in a relationship. Yeah, 272 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:04,080 Speaker 4: you should ask him if you're still in a relationship. Yeah, 273 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,640 Speaker 4: nobody for a relationship with you. Yeah, that's what it is. 274 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:11,600 Speaker 4: That's it's the dot dot dot man. My first thought 275 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,559 Speaker 4: was they knew each other longer than they mentioned, and 276 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:17,720 Speaker 4: she was pregnant with missus baby. But my ex friend 277 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,200 Speaker 4: and Chris's other sister confirmed that she was pregnant with 278 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:23,080 Speaker 4: another man's baby. Okay, who wanted nothing to do with 279 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:25,839 Speaker 4: Grace or the baby. My ex friend through a fit 280 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,880 Speaker 4: to both of them because she knew I had started 281 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:30,360 Speaker 4: to fall for Chris pretty hard. 282 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:32,840 Speaker 3: When he'd had me meet his family and when you 283 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:36,240 Speaker 3: were actively dating him. Yeah, I tend to fall for 284 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:39,480 Speaker 3: someone pretty hard, and sometimes a bit fast. The fit 285 00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:43,760 Speaker 3: my ex friend through had Chris's sister Lola, messaging me 286 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,040 Speaker 3: mad that I was upset that Chris was already with 287 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,320 Speaker 3: another woman, not even a week after he told me 288 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:51,680 Speaker 3: he wasn't actually ready for a relationship. A couple months 289 00:13:51,679 --> 00:13:55,760 Speaker 3: go by and I'm finally mostly over him, only to 290 00:13:55,760 --> 00:14:00,640 Speaker 3: find out they're engaged, which only bugs me a tiny bit. 291 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:02,800 Speaker 3: It had been months, but there was still a bit 292 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,679 Speaker 3: of a sting knowing they were working out the way 293 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,760 Speaker 3: I was hoping. About eight to ten months after that, 294 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:10,200 Speaker 3: my ex friend asks me to go look at Grace's 295 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:13,880 Speaker 3: page because it was interesting. He and her and Chris 296 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,320 Speaker 3: got married the day after what would have been his 297 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:20,200 Speaker 3: and I's one year anniversary, but my ex friend told 298 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,520 Speaker 3: me she overheard Grace wanting to do it on the day, 299 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,280 Speaker 3: but there was no time slots at the courthouse. 300 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:28,240 Speaker 4: To do it, so strange. 301 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:31,080 Speaker 3: The only good thing that came out of this relationship 302 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:33,880 Speaker 3: and the friendship with my ex friend is I had 303 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:38,120 Speaker 3: gotten my wonderful dog who absolutely loves Dakota and Riley reading. 304 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,120 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, she loved to hear it. 305 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:45,280 Speaker 3: Look at that Wow from my ex's younger sister not Lola, 306 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,000 Speaker 3: who is best friends with my ex friend. I also 307 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:51,200 Speaker 3: learned don't trust most guys named Chris, because if Chris 308 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:52,840 Speaker 3: crossed applesauce. 309 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,880 Speaker 4: What would he do to you? Whaharude? 310 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,120 Speaker 3: My boredom got the best of me, and I went 311 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 3: to see if my ex's wife, the woman he before, 312 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,440 Speaker 3: still had me blocked on Facebook. Love it mainly because 313 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:04,640 Speaker 3: I saw she viewed. 314 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:07,200 Speaker 4: My TikTok profile and liked a few of my videos 315 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 4: from five years ago right after he broke up with me. 316 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,840 Speaker 4: She had blocked me on Facebook when I laugh reacted 317 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:17,520 Speaker 4: to her and Chris making things Facebook official. By the way, 318 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:19,840 Speaker 4: you can make things official with us if you listen 319 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,720 Speaker 4: to full episodes of stories just like this. Just go 320 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:26,040 Speaker 4: to Spotify, Apple Podcasts in iHeartRadio and search a Pokes 321 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:26,600 Speaker 4: story time. 322 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:31,200 Speaker 3: Well, she unblocked me. I immediately noticed her profile picture isn't 323 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 3: of her and my ex or her and the kids 324 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,680 Speaker 3: like normal, But I quickly realized who is in the 325 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:42,880 Speaker 3: picture with her. It's my ex's brother. What so naturally 326 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,240 Speaker 3: I got more curious. 327 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:45,360 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I. 328 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:47,600 Speaker 3: Looked up my ex's second Facebook, the one I wasn't 329 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:50,760 Speaker 3: blocked on, to see what's on his page. His profile 330 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:55,880 Speaker 3: picture is with the same brother's baby mama wife swapped. Chris, 331 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,280 Speaker 3: my ex has one biological kid with the woman he 332 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:00,440 Speaker 3: married after breaking up with me, and his brother as 333 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:02,800 Speaker 3: one biological kid with the woman my ex is now with, 334 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:07,239 Speaker 3: so my accent his brother I have become Uncle Daddy's apparently, 335 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:13,760 Speaker 3: let's go on. I'm sorry that the concept of this 336 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,280 Speaker 3: is so funny to me because it seems like they 337 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:21,360 Speaker 3: literally went I like her better, Yeah, only I like 338 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:27,080 Speaker 3: her better, and the girls were like, yeah, may be 339 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,960 Speaker 3: even more glad I'm not with Chris anymore and totally 340 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:33,800 Speaker 3: made me laugh because what kind of Jerry Springer bs. 341 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:37,200 Speaker 4: Is going on with that family? Common one says, wow, 342 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,080 Speaker 4: that is some Jerry Springer material. 343 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:41,600 Speaker 3: You dodged a bullet with Chris. Trust me, he is 344 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,440 Speaker 3: not the one. I'm sorry that happened to you, and 345 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:46,400 Speaker 3: Opie says, thank you. It hurt at the time, even 346 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 3: though we weren't together long. But the situation is sort 347 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,840 Speaker 3: of laughable the more information I end up finding out. 348 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,040 Speaker 6: My fiance will take my last name. It did not 349 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,160 Speaker 6: go well with his. 350 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 4: Parents ooh so bad that he wanted to forget their 351 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,720 Speaker 4: name by fiance male twenty one. 352 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:06,320 Speaker 6: Alex and I female twenty two have been together for 353 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,200 Speaker 6: six years, getting married this year. 354 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:09,359 Speaker 4: Congratulations. 355 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:11,800 Speaker 6: I never cared much about my last name, but after 356 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:15,199 Speaker 6: some recent family events, realized that I want to keep mihnd. 357 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:18,160 Speaker 6: Alex doesn't mind and chose to change his last name 358 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:18,800 Speaker 6: so we'd match. 359 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:19,080 Speaker 2: Heck. 360 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:23,320 Speaker 6: Yeah, by the way, this comes from throwway my last name. 361 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:25,119 Speaker 6: And if you want to submit your own stories, go 362 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:29,400 Speaker 6: to the our slash Okay storytime Separate Yeah. Upon finding 363 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:33,600 Speaker 6: out Alex's parents, Lisa and Luke yelled at him. Lisa 364 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,080 Speaker 6: cussed him out, so my parents let him stay with 365 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,440 Speaker 6: us for the last week. 366 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:40,000 Speaker 4: Of winter break. We were hall on break from college 367 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,160 Speaker 4: and live a few miles apart. 368 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:44,800 Speaker 6: Lisa and Luke say Alex is destroying and disowning his 369 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:49,360 Speaker 6: family publicly humiliating them and say that I'm stripping him 370 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:55,520 Speaker 6: of his manhood. Wow, he really is pretty powerful. They 371 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:59,560 Speaker 6: told us were unbiblical and that women should submit a what. 372 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:05,520 Speaker 4: Wow, this is crazy language. Here ya yaie to them. 373 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,480 Speaker 6: It's political too, they said, the queer community is the 374 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:08,960 Speaker 6: reason that. 375 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,959 Speaker 4: We're sa scept them all to this. Transgender people are 376 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:15,639 Speaker 4: to blame and America is in its downfall. This is 377 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:20,520 Speaker 4: just another sign wow wow, Okay. 378 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:24,439 Speaker 6: Alex has gotten plenty of texts from Lisa calling him hateful, cruel, 379 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:27,800 Speaker 6: and cold, asking how can he let her suffer. The 380 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:30,960 Speaker 6: meetings Alex had with his parents went poorly. They told 381 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:33,200 Speaker 6: him that they wanted to see him and not talk 382 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:34,960 Speaker 6: about the name, but then they did. 383 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:38,440 Speaker 4: One meeting involved both sets of parents. Lisa and Luke. 384 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:41,240 Speaker 6: Talked to ninety percent of the time before getting up 385 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:44,320 Speaker 6: and leaving. They're mad Alex stayed with us and said 386 00:18:44,359 --> 00:18:47,199 Speaker 6: that even if we go with his name, they'd resent 387 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,360 Speaker 6: us and my family for supporting us. 388 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,119 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. 389 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:53,960 Speaker 6: Lisa friend to cut Alex off and says he won't 390 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,720 Speaker 6: get another penny they had planned to contribute to our weddings, 391 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,399 Speaker 6: stating that there were no strings attached and they fund 392 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:03,280 Speaker 6: his college apartment. Lisa said that this is the worst 393 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:05,600 Speaker 6: thing to happened to her since losing her first. 394 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:07,120 Speaker 4: Baby, Oh my god. 395 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:12,200 Speaker 6: Wow, and that it's worse than if Alex had gotten 396 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:16,240 Speaker 6: me pregnant, unlived, someone wasted driving, or was attracted to 397 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 6: the same gender. She's telling Alex that his grandparents will 398 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:23,280 Speaker 6: have to move to assisted living from heartbreak, and Luke 399 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:25,560 Speaker 6: keeps telling Alex that his choice. 400 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:29,080 Speaker 2: Is hurting people. Holy crap, man, calm down. Yeah. 401 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,680 Speaker 6: Their main reason seemed to me that it is tradition 402 00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:34,439 Speaker 6: and that they want the same last name carried on. 403 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:39,120 Speaker 4: It's not an uncommon last name. Certainly he doesn't want 404 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:41,520 Speaker 4: their last name. Yeah, I want to carry on that legacy. 405 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:45,560 Speaker 6: I also learned that Lisa Borderline tried to talk Alex 406 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:49,480 Speaker 6: out of proposing. Alex asked me to marry him anyway, 407 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:52,040 Speaker 6: and Lisa called my mom in the midst of the 408 00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:55,280 Speaker 6: engagement excitement to share her disapproval. 409 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:55,760 Speaker 2: Great. 410 00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:59,639 Speaker 6: They said that they get a say until Alex is 411 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:03,119 Speaker 6: married and that's when they'll leave us. Be uh what 412 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,840 Speaker 6: Lisa and Luke keep texting Alex and my parents, But 413 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:10,040 Speaker 6: I have never gotten anything. They openly dislike me now, 414 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:14,040 Speaker 6: bad mouthing me whenever I'm there or not. I've decided 415 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,119 Speaker 6: my relationship with Lisa and Luke is over. It was 416 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:20,000 Speaker 6: rocky before, as they tried to push their religion onto 417 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,639 Speaker 6: me numerous times. Alex is deciding how much more he 418 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,600 Speaker 6: can give. He hasn't taken a harsh tone or spoken 419 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:30,240 Speaker 6: rudely to his parents, but is tired now. His parents 420 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:34,320 Speaker 6: say if Alex won't move back home, their financial support ends. 421 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:37,639 Speaker 6: They say the family won't come to the wedding, and 422 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:42,280 Speaker 6: one of his siblings actually has left the wedding party. Obviously, 423 00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:44,679 Speaker 6: I have decided to stay mostly away from Lisa and 424 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:48,119 Speaker 6: Luke now, but they are Alex's family. With the weddings 425 00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:51,399 Speaker 6: still coming up, we're unsure how to move forward, and 426 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:54,719 Speaker 6: it's add Lisa and Luke's financial support is not necessary 427 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,199 Speaker 6: and the wedding will proceed with or without it. Just 428 00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,320 Speaker 6: thought it relevant to point out that the money that 429 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:03,760 Speaker 6: was offer no strings attached clearly does have strings. We 430 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,600 Speaker 6: know we are young and are still getting married after 431 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:07,919 Speaker 6: spending six years together. 432 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,679 Speaker 4: Postponing the wedding isn't something that we're willing to do, 433 00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:12,600 Speaker 4: but we do have some comments. 434 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:16,719 Speaker 6: Commentare number one says, family, you're awful, evil people and 435 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:21,480 Speaker 6: we're not coming you, okay, Opie response to this easier 436 00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:23,439 Speaker 6: said than done, but this may need to be the 437 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 6: route that we take. A commentare number two says, it 438 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:29,000 Speaker 6: sounds like he has really good reasons for not wanting 439 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:32,280 Speaker 6: to be associated with that last name any longer. Yes, 440 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:34,240 Speaker 6: it's not a traditional thing. And people will look at 441 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:37,000 Speaker 6: him funny for it. They can just f write off. 442 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:40,120 Speaker 6: If you're happy and he's happy, that's all that matters. 443 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:43,080 Speaker 6: Comment tur number three says you shouldn't be getting married 444 00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:46,040 Speaker 6: before you have achieved financial independence from your parents. This 445 00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,000 Speaker 6: is just the first issue that will come from this. 446 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:52,000 Speaker 6: You're too young anyway. Opie says, I appreciate the insight, 447 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:54,240 Speaker 6: but we don't need their financial support. Just thought it 448 00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,920 Speaker 6: was worth mentioning that money offered without strings clearly does 449 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,960 Speaker 6: have strings. We have a solid plan in place financially, 450 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:03,840 Speaker 6: but came to this sub for the relationship aspect. Someone 451 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:07,000 Speaker 6: else responds, if you and your fiance don't need their 452 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,840 Speaker 6: financial support, why have you guys been taking it? I'm 453 00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:11,920 Speaker 6: sure this isn't the first time that they've shown they're 454 00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:15,480 Speaker 6: not good people. So you both have agreed to benefit 455 00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:17,920 Speaker 6: from their finances despite the kind of people that they are. 456 00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:21,159 Speaker 6: Hope He responds, it hasn't been a trade of money 457 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:24,399 Speaker 6: for control up until now. If your parents wanted to 458 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:26,560 Speaker 6: give you money, would you not take it if it 459 00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:30,000 Speaker 6: was truly out of kindness? Alex surely isn't the only 460 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,320 Speaker 6: college student being put through by his parents. 461 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:32,960 Speaker 2: Yeah? 462 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:36,399 Speaker 6: Now, silly common Yeah, that is now that it is 463 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:39,680 Speaker 6: money for control, we're planning not to accept it anymore. 464 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:44,400 Speaker 4: He guess what we've gotten updates, let's freaking jump in. 465 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:47,159 Speaker 6: Alex and I got married last month and everything was 466 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:51,320 Speaker 6: absolutely beautiful Since my original post. After more months of 467 00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:54,720 Speaker 6: emotional and verbal abuse, Alex made the difficult decision that 468 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:58,159 Speaker 6: his parents were no longer welcome at our wedding. He 469 00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:01,360 Speaker 6: explained that he couldn't trust them to respect his boundaries, 470 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,720 Speaker 6: respect us at all, or respect what the event was about. 471 00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:09,360 Speaker 6: As expected, they freaked out, asking if he was trapped 472 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:13,120 Speaker 6: and needed help, saying everything had become about me ope, 473 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:17,800 Speaker 6: and telling him that he'd been isolated from everyone that 474 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:18,399 Speaker 6: he loves. 475 00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:20,280 Speaker 4: We're not sure what. 476 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,879 Speaker 6: Story they told Alex's extended family. Alex reached out to 477 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,080 Speaker 6: everyone to explain what had been going on, but every 478 00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:30,280 Speaker 6: response that he received was more discussed towards his name choice, 479 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,480 Speaker 6: refusal of wedding invitations, and saying that he needed to 480 00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:36,000 Speaker 6: apologize and grovel. 481 00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:38,240 Speaker 4: And fix the family. Oh my gosh. 482 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,360 Speaker 6: Most of Lisa's family were the ones talking the most 483 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:45,000 Speaker 6: about how dishonorable he was and how he was breaking 484 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:48,760 Speaker 6: apart the family interesting seeing none of them share Lisa 485 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:53,200 Speaker 6: and Luke's last name. Luke's family does. Luckily, only one 486 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:57,040 Speaker 6: invitation was returned with nasty notes inside, but the rest 487 00:23:57,080 --> 00:24:00,639 Speaker 6: of the digital responses took Lisa and Luke's side, berating 488 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:04,400 Speaker 6: Alex for doing this near the anniversary of the passing 489 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:08,160 Speaker 6: of Lisa's first child and called him cool and hateful. 490 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:11,800 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, God's so not the same at all. 491 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:15,560 Speaker 4: This is just so insane. He might need to go 492 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:17,920 Speaker 4: very limited to no contact. 493 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:18,199 Speaker 2: With these people. 494 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,840 Speaker 4: Sorry about that boy. 495 00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:26,240 Speaker 6: For context, Lisa's first child passed away a few days 496 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:30,280 Speaker 6: after birth, over twenty five years ago. Alex says there 497 00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:33,280 Speaker 6: has never been any remembrance that he knows of, and 498 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:35,080 Speaker 6: they do nothing on the anniversary. 499 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,640 Speaker 4: He doesn't even know the date of the anniversary. 500 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:41,040 Speaker 6: Lisa and Luke explained what happened once when he was 501 00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:44,640 Speaker 6: young and never mentioned anything again. We're unsure why it's 502 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,280 Speaker 6: all coming back up now after presenting this is trying 503 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:51,399 Speaker 6: to tell him he exactly after presenting as generally unimportant 504 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:55,679 Speaker 6: his whole life. Apparently, this drama being four months from 505 00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:59,639 Speaker 6: the anniversary was disrespectful. Four months a third of the 506 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:01,760 Speaker 6: year away from mandilsary too soon. 507 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:06,400 Speaker 4: I'm sorry, what what is not soon? Oh my gosh. 508 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:09,439 Speaker 4: His sister Alice also went off the rails. 509 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:13,360 Speaker 6: After checking in to see how Alex was doing, Alice 510 00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:17,000 Speaker 6: got angry that he wanted to discuss things over text 511 00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:18,240 Speaker 6: instead of on the phone. 512 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,760 Speaker 3: They're just grasping at straws at anything. 513 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:24,120 Speaker 2: Yeah. 514 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:26,800 Speaker 6: It became obvious that she wanted him on the phone 515 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,439 Speaker 6: to braid him because she ranted about how he was 516 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:33,480 Speaker 6: steamrolling their parents and wasn't really an adult because he 517 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:34,639 Speaker 6: wasn't married yet. 518 00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:39,399 Speaker 4: About what you get married? How don't you get married? 519 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,600 Speaker 4: And also that's silly, that's silly, that's stilly. 520 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,840 Speaker 3: Clear, but it's also funny because like they're actively trying 521 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:44,640 Speaker 3: to stop him. 522 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:48,000 Speaker 6: Yeah, I know because the parents mentioned that earlier, Like 523 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,360 Speaker 6: we can't tell him what to do, like unless he's 524 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:52,359 Speaker 6: or we can't. 525 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,240 Speaker 4: We can tell him what to do until he gets married. 526 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,760 Speaker 4: So strange stray people. 527 00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:00,480 Speaker 6: She said that she had encouraged Lisa and to cut 528 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 6: him off long ago and that I Opie wasn't acting 529 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,960 Speaker 6: like family since I stopped letting her follow my Instagram account. 530 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,560 Speaker 6: This was after she'd dropped out as a bridesmaid and 531 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:14,200 Speaker 6: made it clear she didn't support our marriage. I decided 532 00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:17,800 Speaker 6: not everyone gets full access to my life. Good yeah, exactly. 533 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:21,560 Speaker 6: As his only sibling. It was devastating for Alex to 534 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:26,000 Speaker 6: watch Alice spiral into fully taking their parents' side after 535 00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:28,880 Speaker 6: initially leading him to believe that she had his back 536 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:32,800 Speaker 6: and being supportive after saying not to expect her and 537 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,919 Speaker 6: Alex's brother in law at the wedding. There's been no 538 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:39,560 Speaker 6: further contact since Alice refuses to speak to him unless 539 00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:42,800 Speaker 6: he'll talk on the phone. At this point, he won't 540 00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,480 Speaker 6: do any phone calls, as we'd rather have record of 541 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:49,000 Speaker 6: everything that goes down. Many people tried to talk to 542 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,840 Speaker 6: Lisa and Luke, my own parents', mutual friends, etc. 543 00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:56,040 Speaker 4: To encourage them to choose the relationship. 544 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:59,320 Speaker 6: And explain the damage that they were causing wasn't worth 545 00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:00,640 Speaker 6: the loss that they door. 546 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,480 Speaker 4: It seemed to have no effect. 547 00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:07,119 Speaker 6: Alex was quick to become no longer financially dependent on 548 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:10,159 Speaker 6: his parents. We've changed his phone plan, reclaimed all of 549 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,920 Speaker 6: his bills from Lisa and Luke, fully moved him out 550 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:16,400 Speaker 6: and finished college. We're not sure if they attended graduation. 551 00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,720 Speaker 6: They texted Alex the day before to say that they'd 552 00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:24,320 Speaker 6: be there, but then turned off their location services. Graduation 553 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,720 Speaker 6: day was stressful and nerve wracking, with Alex not knowing 554 00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:31,040 Speaker 6: if they'd make a scene or corner him. He left 555 00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:33,480 Speaker 6: as soon as he walked across the stage and made 556 00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,840 Speaker 6: it to his car, with no interactions since then. As 557 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:40,800 Speaker 6: most redditors suggested, we've been nearly no contact with Lisa 558 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,639 Speaker 6: and Luke. We spent the first six weeks of summer 559 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:47,480 Speaker 6: finishing wedding details, and our day last month was gorgeous. 560 00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:51,119 Speaker 6: Alex received no communication between graduation and the wedding and 561 00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:54,160 Speaker 6: has no plans to continue the relationship without an apology. 562 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:56,679 Speaker 6: Lisa and Luke did not show up to the wedding 563 00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:59,920 Speaker 6: or say anything the day of. The only reason change 564 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,199 Speaker 6: Lisa on following and unfriending both of us and my 565 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:07,080 Speaker 6: family on all social media. And by the way, you 566 00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:10,720 Speaker 6: can follow us on all social media just search Okay 567 00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:14,080 Speaker 6: story Time, but you can especially do it on iHeartRadio, 568 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:18,080 Speaker 6: Apple Podcasts, Uh, Spotify, whatever your favorite podcast app is. 569 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:22,879 Speaker 4: Just search Okay Storytime. Do it do it for me. 570 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:27,479 Speaker 6: My in law relationships are basically over apology or not learning. 571 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:31,679 Speaker 6: They'd never supported our engagement, ignoring my existence and hating 572 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:32,400 Speaker 6: me because. 573 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:34,080 Speaker 4: Of my political and religious beliefs is. 574 00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:37,000 Speaker 6: Enough for me not to keep contact. Good Thank you 575 00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,920 Speaker 6: editors for your kind help and good wishes. Our day 576 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,280 Speaker 6: was truly perfect and straight out of a fairy tale. 577 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:44,360 Speaker 4: And we're looking. 578 00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:46,440 Speaker 6: Forward to the next chapter of our lives with hopefully 579 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:47,440 Speaker 6: less drama. 580 00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:51,240 Speaker 2: And that is that. Hey's John, you og host here. 581 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:52,640 Speaker 5: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a 582 00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:55,240 Speaker 5: quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors. My 583 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:58,480 Speaker 5: wife refused to stop tying my EMT boots. 584 00:28:58,600 --> 00:28:59,800 Speaker 2: I ended up hurting her feelings. 585 00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:02,320 Speaker 5: Yes, I know this title is bizarre and I can't 586 00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:04,440 Speaker 5: believe I'm actually writing this. My wife is a neat 587 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:06,920 Speaker 5: fore always has been. She throws notes on my desks 588 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,880 Speaker 5: out assuming their garbage. My belongings get rearranged to the 589 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:11,960 Speaker 5: point where it takes me hours to find them. It's 590 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,479 Speaker 5: something I have come to accept. I'm not happy about it, 591 00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:16,600 Speaker 5: but we have a pretty happy marriage on the whole. 592 00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:19,360 Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from Thoroughway Shoes And if 593 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:21,760 Speaker 5: you want some earon stories, go to the arsash Okay 594 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:24,480 Speaker 5: Storytime Celebretta. Now, I am a volunteer EMT and I 595 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,480 Speaker 5: keep my boots unlaced up against the wall next to 596 00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:29,840 Speaker 5: my clothes hamper, so that way I can throw them 597 00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,360 Speaker 5: on along with my uniform if a call comes in 598 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:34,240 Speaker 5: during the middle of the night. Well, my wife has 599 00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:37,120 Speaker 5: been taking to tying the boot laces when she sees 600 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:40,040 Speaker 5: them untied. Not only does she tie them, but she 601 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,760 Speaker 5: tightens them and double knots them to the point where 602 00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:45,479 Speaker 5: I need to undo the not open up the boots, 603 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:48,280 Speaker 5: let a little slack out to fit my feet into them. 604 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:50,440 Speaker 5: I ignored it the first two times, but the third 605 00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:51,960 Speaker 5: time she did it, I made a point to bring 606 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,400 Speaker 5: it up to her. The next day, I very calmly said, Han, 607 00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:56,480 Speaker 5: I appreciate that you want everything neat, but please do 608 00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:57,760 Speaker 5: not touch my boots in the future. 609 00:29:57,800 --> 00:29:58,800 Speaker 2: Time is of the essence. 610 00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:00,440 Speaker 5: When I'm going on a call and it two am 611 00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:02,200 Speaker 5: in the morning, I don't have time to unlace them 612 00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:04,640 Speaker 5: and open them up. It's not just a minor inconvenience. 613 00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:06,640 Speaker 5: It's people's lives. So I would appreciate it if you 614 00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:08,680 Speaker 5: let them alone. She rolled her eyes and said I 615 00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:12,160 Speaker 5: was being dramatic and that she wouldn't help me out 616 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 5: by keeping my things. 617 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:14,120 Speaker 2: Neat in the future. 618 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:17,080 Speaker 5: Well, she never stopped, no matter how many times I 619 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,080 Speaker 5: asked her, told her, begged her. She just laughs and says, well, 620 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,120 Speaker 5: you know how I am. The other night, a page 621 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,440 Speaker 5: went out for a CPR in progress. I went to 622 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,240 Speaker 5: throw my boots on and they were once again tightened 623 00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:29,800 Speaker 5: beyond recognition. So I'm sitting there on the edge of 624 00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:32,280 Speaker 5: the bed, cursing, trying to get my boots open, and 625 00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:34,680 Speaker 5: fumbling due to the stress of the situation. My wife 626 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,120 Speaker 5: opened her eyes groggily, looked at me and said, don't 627 00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:39,360 Speaker 5: you need to go on that call. I slammed the 628 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:41,760 Speaker 5: boot into the ground and yelled, yes, I do. I 629 00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:44,080 Speaker 5: would have been out the door five minutes ago, except 630 00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:47,640 Speaker 5: some stupid mother effort. Fed with my god dang boots again, 631 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:50,080 Speaker 5: my wife got up without another word, walked into the 632 00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:52,360 Speaker 5: bathroom and slammed the door. I got my boots open, 633 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:54,440 Speaker 5: went to the call. By the time we arrived, the 634 00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:56,560 Speaker 5: police had gotten her back, so I didn't have to 635 00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:59,160 Speaker 5: do CPR, but I was sweating and shaking, thinking the 636 00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:01,680 Speaker 5: delay have cost a life. 637 00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:03,760 Speaker 2: I got home and my wife isn't talking to me. 638 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:06,320 Speaker 5: She ignored me the entire day until we finally sat 639 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:08,200 Speaker 5: down and talked She said I had scared her with 640 00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:10,640 Speaker 5: how angry I got. That she thought that I was 641 00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:12,520 Speaker 5: going to harm her, and she didn't know I was 642 00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:13,880 Speaker 5: capable of getting so angry. 643 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,000 Speaker 2: Note I have never raised anne to her, nor if 644 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,280 Speaker 2: I ever yelled at her before. 645 00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:19,680 Speaker 5: I am absolutely not a violent person in any way, 646 00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:21,960 Speaker 5: shape or form. I apologized for yelling at her and 647 00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:24,160 Speaker 5: acknowledged that I hadn't meant to snap at her. I 648 00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:26,560 Speaker 5: was frustrated with the situation, as I needed to get 649 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,280 Speaker 5: to the person in need of CPR as soon as possible, 650 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:31,520 Speaker 5: and it was a delay that didn't need to happen. 651 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:34,080 Speaker 5: I once again pleaded with her to not touch my 652 00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:37,720 Speaker 5: boots because lives were literally on the line. She told 653 00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:40,160 Speaker 5: me that if I was going to overreact and make 654 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:42,600 Speaker 5: her afraid, that she would never touch my boots again 655 00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:45,040 Speaker 5: because she didn't want to live like that. Last night, 656 00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:47,280 Speaker 5: before I got into the bed, I had a sinking feeling, 657 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:50,320 Speaker 5: so I went over and I checked my boots. I 658 00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:55,400 Speaker 5: was very disappointed to find them tightened up again, so 659 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:58,080 Speaker 5: I decided to show her how it felt. I went 660 00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,719 Speaker 5: over to her closet and put pulled out her running shoes. 661 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,440 Speaker 5: I unlaced the both of them, removed them from the 662 00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:06,760 Speaker 5: shoes completely, curled them each into a little coil and 663 00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,120 Speaker 5: put them inside the shoes and put them back and 664 00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:11,440 Speaker 5: went to sleep. At six fifteen, I was woken up 665 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:13,840 Speaker 5: by my wife screaming, how could you? Why would you 666 00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:17,320 Speaker 5: do this, holding up both laceless shoes with tears in 667 00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:19,360 Speaker 5: her eyes. My wife likes to go for an early 668 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:21,080 Speaker 5: morning run, and I knew she would want to go 669 00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:22,560 Speaker 5: out the door as soon as possible. 670 00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:24,720 Speaker 2: I smiled and said, you know how I am. 671 00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:27,560 Speaker 5: I just like things neat. She continued sobbing and walked 672 00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:29,240 Speaker 5: out of the room. So by the time she was 673 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:31,720 Speaker 5: all laced up again, it was raining, so she missed 674 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,000 Speaker 5: out on her run. I actually feel pretty terrible about that, 675 00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:35,959 Speaker 5: because I really only wanted to delay her and not 676 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:39,840 Speaker 5: ruin her plans entirely. At this point, she's alternating between 677 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:41,640 Speaker 5: prying that I went out of my way to hurt 678 00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:44,760 Speaker 5: her and ignoring my presence. I acknowledge that what I've 679 00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,600 Speaker 5: done has been pretty childish and not at all constructive. 680 00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:50,160 Speaker 5: I just don't know what to do. I mean, I do, 681 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:53,560 Speaker 5: I do feel for ope in that Like you tell, 682 00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:56,080 Speaker 5: like you said before you tell someone once, Hey, this 683 00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:56,959 Speaker 5: is a life or death thing. 684 00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:57,960 Speaker 2: Please don't do this. 685 00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:03,120 Speaker 5: Unless again, there was the know the military sonic noise 686 00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:07,680 Speaker 5: disruptor going off like one would hope and pray that 687 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:11,520 Speaker 5: they would just get the message. Yeah, right, little burb 688 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:13,720 Speaker 5: says cheater in chat I see a. 689 00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:15,360 Speaker 2: Lot of people it's like, Oh, it's like she's trying 690 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:17,280 Speaker 2: to find a reason. She's trying to make him leave 691 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:20,200 Speaker 2: so that she doesn't get caught cheating or something interesting. 692 00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:23,560 Speaker 2: Op's being like, I know this isn't like mature and 693 00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:25,720 Speaker 2: it's childish, but it's like you already did the mature thing. 694 00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:29,000 Speaker 2: You've done all of the mature options and they did 695 00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:29,600 Speaker 2: not work. 696 00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:31,440 Speaker 5: Like I feel like he's kind of almost losing his 697 00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,400 Speaker 5: mind as a little bit because he's like, what can 698 00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:36,440 Speaker 5: I possibly do to tell you that this is this 699 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:36,960 Speaker 5: is crazy? 700 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:38,880 Speaker 2: Okay? So she said, through tears. 701 00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:40,880 Speaker 5: You admitted you were totally in the wrong for yelling 702 00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:42,840 Speaker 5: at me, and then you turned around and took it 703 00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:44,280 Speaker 5: out on me in a different way. 704 00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:45,280 Speaker 2: What is wrong with you? 705 00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:48,200 Speaker 5: The problem is, to her, an apology means taking on 706 00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:50,920 Speaker 5: one hundred percent of the faults when I apologize for 707 00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,200 Speaker 5: blowing up. She took that to mean that she was 708 00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:55,640 Speaker 5: one hundred percent in the right and that my feelings 709 00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:59,240 Speaker 5: were completely unjustified. So at this point I haven't apologized 710 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:01,440 Speaker 5: for ruining her because she'll take that to me, and 711 00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:04,920 Speaker 5: she wasn't wrong to touch my boots. I've tried to 712 00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:07,560 Speaker 5: have these discussions, but it's win one ear out the other. 713 00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:10,239 Speaker 5: We have such good relationships otherwise, but I feel like 714 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:12,759 Speaker 5: this issue has reached a tipping point and it's going 715 00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:15,440 Speaker 5: to continue to result in arguments until we resolve it. 716 00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:17,239 Speaker 5: How do I make things right with my wife while 717 00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:19,839 Speaker 5: still letting her know that I won't tolerate her disrespecting 718 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:20,960 Speaker 5: my property anymore? 719 00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:21,600 Speaker 1: Edit? 720 00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:22,560 Speaker 2: Wow, this blew up. 721 00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:24,600 Speaker 5: I went through comments for six hours last night and 722 00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:27,360 Speaker 5: it still have eighteen hundred to get through. I promise 723 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:29,120 Speaker 5: you I'm reading every one of your comments, and I 724 00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:31,480 Speaker 5: appreciate the advice. A couple of things to address that 725 00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:33,960 Speaker 5: keep getting brought up. My wife has never been a 726 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:37,359 Speaker 5: diagnosis having OCD as an EMT. I'm very careful about 727 00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:39,480 Speaker 5: labeling someone as having a disorder, as I don't have 728 00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:42,239 Speaker 5: the proper qualifications to make that diagnosis. I do agree 729 00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:43,960 Speaker 5: that it's time for her to see somebody and get 730 00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:46,520 Speaker 5: a proper diagnosis and address these issues. My boost lay 731 00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:48,120 Speaker 5: put lace up in the front and zip her on 732 00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:50,759 Speaker 5: the side. They're not a full unzip, but rather an 733 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:52,840 Speaker 5: unzip to open them a bit. The way my wife 734 00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:55,439 Speaker 5: is tying them makes them impossible to get on even 735 00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:57,880 Speaker 5: with the zipper down. Their weather proof and great for 736 00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,680 Speaker 5: standing on rough terrain or the highway after after accidents. 737 00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:02,799 Speaker 5: They're only about a year old and we're actually a 738 00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:05,520 Speaker 5: gift from my wife. I've not considered velcro before, but 739 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:07,400 Speaker 5: I'm a bit hesitant to do that as I don't 740 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,840 Speaker 5: know if that if they wouldn't catch on things or 741 00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:12,080 Speaker 5: wear out quicker. I tucked the laces in, but she 742 00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:14,719 Speaker 5: still tied them up. This is a bit of compulsive 743 00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:17,120 Speaker 5: behavior on my parts. I don't leave my boots in 744 00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,719 Speaker 5: the garage because my mother was a smoker growing up 745 00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:22,000 Speaker 5: and that's where she would smoke. So I ended up 746 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,160 Speaker 5: with ashes in my shoes and having them wreak of 747 00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:26,840 Speaker 5: tobacco afterwards. So I developed a bit of a habit 748 00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,439 Speaker 5: of wearing them into my home. If I leave them there, 749 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:32,080 Speaker 5: they're likely to get moved to someplace safe where it 750 00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:34,200 Speaker 5: will take me even longer to find them, putting the 751 00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:36,680 Speaker 5: boots in the closet, you found them and tied them, 752 00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:39,000 Speaker 5: putting them under the bed or out of sight until 753 00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:40,960 Speaker 5: they were found, tied, or moved to the closet. I 754 00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,440 Speaker 5: honestly believe that if foot locker or any other kind 755 00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:46,040 Speaker 5: of box would get moved to where I would have 756 00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:48,160 Speaker 5: to wake her up to find it if it's locked, 757 00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,720 Speaker 5: then my keys would likely go missing for some reason. 758 00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:53,080 Speaker 5: Sitting them on my dresser is not appropriate, but in 759 00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:56,359 Speaker 5: the pocket of a jacket downstairs in the closet is. 760 00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:58,280 Speaker 2: I am likely going. 761 00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:00,120 Speaker 5: To start putting my boots in the car though I 762 00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,880 Speaker 5: had to laugh at the people suggesting decoy boots. 763 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,720 Speaker 2: Dude, what are you talking about? That's like that honestly 764 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:09,400 Speaker 2: sounds like the best suggestion I've heard so far. Yeah, yeah, 765 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:11,160 Speaker 2: the decoys ready to go. 766 00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:15,920 Speaker 5: But also like thinking about the ridiculousness of the scenario 767 00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:18,839 Speaker 5: we've reached, you know what I mean, As much as 768 00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:20,560 Speaker 5: it may seem like it, I'm not living in a 769 00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:21,960 Speaker 5: spy versus spy cartoon. 770 00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:23,920 Speaker 2: I am a volunteer EMT. 771 00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:26,680 Speaker 5: We respond from home to answer some of the chat 772 00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:29,240 Speaker 5: comments I saw before too. We don't have sleeping quarters 773 00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:31,880 Speaker 5: and I work the overnight shift, so I sleep during 774 00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:34,040 Speaker 5: my shift, get out of bed when a call comes in, 775 00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:36,000 Speaker 5: drive to the building and take an ambulance to the 776 00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:40,040 Speaker 5: seame scene. This is typical of volunteer organizations. Paid EMS 777 00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:42,840 Speaker 5: is more likely to have sleeping quarters or even require 778 00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:45,160 Speaker 5: EMTs to be in the truck throughout their shift. 779 00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:46,799 Speaker 2: Community based EMS is. 780 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:49,040 Speaker 5: More likely to take nine one one calls and respond 781 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:53,200 Speaker 5: to emergencies, whether paid or volunteers. Private EMS is likely 782 00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:56,560 Speaker 5: to take transport requests such as to and from dialysis 783 00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:59,600 Speaker 5: or chemotherapy, as well as the hospital to nursing facility 784 00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:01,560 Speaker 5: discharge to those who have told me that I don't 785 00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:05,000 Speaker 5: have the right to use the word life saving. On 786 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:08,760 Speaker 5: my dress uniform, I have pins for three defibrillator saves 787 00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:10,200 Speaker 5: and four CPR saves. 788 00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:12,040 Speaker 2: I've crawled into a car wreck. 789 00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:15,120 Speaker 5: I've crawled into a car wreck to open someone's airway 790 00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:16,160 Speaker 5: and bag. 791 00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:17,480 Speaker 2: Them until we could get them out. 792 00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:20,120 Speaker 5: While transporting a patient, I recognize silence of an internal 793 00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:23,000 Speaker 5: injury and ordered we divert to a trauma center where 794 00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:26,360 Speaker 5: he was put directly into surgery that changed his life. 795 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:29,799 Speaker 5: Did I do those things entirely by myself? Yes, no, 796 00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,400 Speaker 5: of course not. I would never claim that I was 797 00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:34,680 Speaker 5: the sole reason someone lived. However, I am, at my 798 00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:38,120 Speaker 5: very basis level as vital a link in the chain 799 00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:41,399 Speaker 5: of survival. So while I can't claim credit for any 800 00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:43,399 Speaker 5: of the things that I've done, I would certainly put 801 00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:46,239 Speaker 5: a lot of blame on myself if someone didn't live 802 00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:48,440 Speaker 5: because of something I failed to do. I have a 803 00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:51,160 Speaker 5: full time job that I work eight to five Monday 804 00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:54,040 Speaker 5: Friday outs Monday to Friday outside of EMS. That is 805 00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:56,160 Speaker 5: why I volunteer on the night shift. My wife works 806 00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:58,719 Speaker 5: as a payroll manager for a mid sized office earned 807 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:00,480 Speaker 5: I earned about ten thousand dollars a. 808 00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:01,200 Speaker 2: Year more than her. 809 00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:03,080 Speaker 5: We've been married for two years, and when I lived 810 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:05,040 Speaker 5: on my own before we were married, she didn't move 811 00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:07,759 Speaker 5: into the apartment until we got engaged, so I think 812 00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:10,640 Speaker 5: to her that was my place, not ours, and she 813 00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:13,520 Speaker 5: didn't really touch my things. I was with another EMS 814 00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:16,320 Speaker 5: organization until we moved to a new town after our engagement. 815 00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,640 Speaker 5: When we bought the house, I joined the local volunteer 816 00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:21,239 Speaker 5: squad as an EMT. My wife regards my job as 817 00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:24,239 Speaker 5: part of my identity, while she sees the EMS as 818 00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:27,560 Speaker 5: something I volunteer to do. She would say, this is 819 00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:30,560 Speaker 5: my husband, he is job title. Not this is my 820 00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:33,640 Speaker 5: husband he is an EMT. And we have an update. 821 00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:34,960 Speaker 2: I want to poll. 822 00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:38,640 Speaker 5: Poll not if you think they should divorce or not? 823 00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:42,280 Speaker 5: If you predict divorce? NA, are we predicting divorce? 824 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:42,480 Speaker 2: NA? 825 00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,640 Speaker 5: Are we predicting divorce or not? Dakota, I am curious 826 00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:47,319 Speaker 5: what your predictions are. 827 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:51,120 Speaker 2: I vote yes, you vote yes, I vote definitely divorce. 828 00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:56,160 Speaker 5: I think it might take a lot for him to well. 829 00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:59,800 Speaker 2: I think he absorbs all the opinions of the internet, 830 00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:01,600 Speaker 2: and they mostly go, hey, I think your a wife 831 00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,640 Speaker 2: means like therapy. If you guys are gonna stay together, 832 00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:06,000 Speaker 2: she needs to figure out how to be healthier about 833 00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:08,600 Speaker 2: this stuff. Yeah, about that learning that there's such a 834 00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:11,240 Speaker 2: thing as a gray area, and that just saying sorry 835 00:39:11,239 --> 00:39:14,080 Speaker 2: doesn't mean that you're just like flee. Oh nothing you've 836 00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,240 Speaker 2: ever done is wrong Now because I said sorry, I resolved, 837 00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:19,319 Speaker 2: it's okay. Yeah. I think she's gonna go no, what 838 00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:22,480 Speaker 2: are you a baby? And then he's gonna go okay, goodbye. Yep. Yeah. 839 00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:25,200 Speaker 5: So if our eighty two percent of chat is saying 840 00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:29,560 Speaker 5: that Opie will divorce, but we got an update, Amen, brother, 841 00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:30,719 Speaker 5: here we go, let's go. 842 00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:32,239 Speaker 2: My wife and I started talking again. 843 00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:35,080 Speaker 5: We had a very serious conversation, and I did apologize 844 00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:36,640 Speaker 5: for what I did to her running shoes. Then I 845 00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:38,880 Speaker 5: told her that I had to speak some truth, and 846 00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,040 Speaker 5: I wanted her to promise me that she wasn't going 847 00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:44,319 Speaker 5: to roll her eyes, interrupt me, scoff or get sarcastic 848 00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:46,239 Speaker 5: with me, which she did. I told her that I 849 00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:49,000 Speaker 5: was not kidding about my boots. That while most of 850 00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:52,120 Speaker 5: the time I caught geriatric transports balls nausea, there were 851 00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:54,960 Speaker 5: other instances where a response time was of the essence 852 00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:56,799 Speaker 5: and I didn't have time to play around with my 853 00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:58,560 Speaker 5: boots in the middle of tonight. I told her that 854 00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:01,280 Speaker 5: there have been times where my intervention has been critical 855 00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:03,320 Speaker 5: in saving a life, when my training has helped me 856 00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:06,360 Speaker 5: recognize an underlying emergency, or when a call I made 857 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:10,120 Speaker 5: ensured that a patient was prioritized upon arrival at the hospital. 858 00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:12,560 Speaker 5: I explained that a lot of crap I see I 859 00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:14,600 Speaker 5: don't tell her about because I don't want to give 860 00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:17,400 Speaker 5: her nightmares or make her worry about me. She actually 861 00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:19,520 Speaker 5: listened and didn't dismiss what I had to say. She 862 00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:23,160 Speaker 5: responded that she was trying to help by keeping things neat. 863 00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:26,719 Speaker 5: I responded, but you're not, sweetie. I'm not trying to 864 00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:30,040 Speaker 5: be mean, but you're not helping. You're hindering me. One day, 865 00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:32,560 Speaker 5: it may be the difference between life and death. I 866 00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,200 Speaker 5: need you to not touch my gear. It's where I 867 00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:37,480 Speaker 5: know it is. It's where I can easily find it 868 00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:39,400 Speaker 5: in a short amount of time, and if you move it, 869 00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:42,120 Speaker 5: you're impeding an emergency process. I don't care if it 870 00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:44,680 Speaker 5: looks neat. It serves a function, it doesn't look pretty. 871 00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:48,160 Speaker 5: You want to help me, please leave my gear where 872 00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:50,640 Speaker 5: I put it. A few nights later, I had my friend, 873 00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:52,640 Speaker 5: Officer Rich come over. Officer Rich was one of the 874 00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:54,840 Speaker 5: two cops that did CPR that night on the victim. 875 00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:56,440 Speaker 5: The three of us sat on a deck had a 876 00:40:56,480 --> 00:41:00,279 Speaker 5: few social distancing bus He talked about getting there, doing 877 00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:04,040 Speaker 5: the CPR, giving narcan, waiting for the ambulance, and getting 878 00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:06,000 Speaker 5: her back. Shortly before we got there, he pulled out 879 00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:07,880 Speaker 5: a few of the photos of car accidents that I 880 00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:10,520 Speaker 5: had work. He showed them to my wife and pointed out, 881 00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:13,320 Speaker 5: this car went into a tree, your husband crawled into 882 00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:16,080 Speaker 5: the wreck, put a collar on the driver and stayed 883 00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:18,719 Speaker 5: in there while giving him oxygen until we could get 884 00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:21,600 Speaker 5: him out. Dude, Oh, your husband pulled a three year 885 00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:22,640 Speaker 5: old out of this wreck. 886 00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:25,280 Speaker 2: I hope it's just ex husband though, it's like this person, 887 00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:27,600 Speaker 2: I don't care. There's certain things where it's like I 888 00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:30,320 Speaker 2: don't If you don't get this, like I don't, I 889 00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:34,080 Speaker 2: have no time in my life or my heart for you. Dude. Yeah, 890 00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:36,319 Speaker 2: if you don't get like, don't touch my stuff because 891 00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:38,680 Speaker 2: I'm trying to save a light like lives and you 892 00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:41,560 Speaker 2: still do it. And then you're like, ooh, you're so overreacting. 893 00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:43,920 Speaker 2: You yelled at me. I thought you were gonna kill me. 894 00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:46,560 Speaker 2: It's like, all right, leave bye, goodbye. Yelled at you, 895 00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:47,839 Speaker 2: Okay bye. Yeah. 896 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:50,720 Speaker 5: We we even still in this, like in the most 897 00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:53,880 Speaker 5: like the best conversation they've had a quote unquote that 898 00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:56,640 Speaker 5: they've had so far. I feel like she's still she's 899 00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:57,960 Speaker 5: just like, oh, I just want to keep him meet. 900 00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:01,080 Speaker 2: It's like, no, don't. You're not listen. You're not like 901 00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:03,960 Speaker 2: or at least you're not like acknowledging you know. 902 00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:08,080 Speaker 5: Anyways, So your husband, your husband recognized that the driver 903 00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:10,000 Speaker 5: had a stroke and took her to a stroke center. 904 00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:13,120 Speaker 2: Which literally which likely saved her life. After that, I told. 905 00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:14,719 Speaker 5: Her I had something I wanted to show her, and 906 00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:17,160 Speaker 5: I asked her for the same promise I'd ask for earlier. 907 00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:20,239 Speaker 5: When she agreed, I showed her a video on YouTube 908 00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:23,240 Speaker 5: of a police bodycam from an od The video showed 909 00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:25,799 Speaker 5: how critical time is in getting someone back and the 910 00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:28,719 Speaker 5: training someone goes through in order to give someone that assistance, 911 00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:29,880 Speaker 5: do CPR and. 912 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:31,760 Speaker 2: Utilize a AED. 913 00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:34,239 Speaker 5: I told her, I'm not trying to attack you. I 914 00:42:34,239 --> 00:42:35,719 Speaker 5: don't want to have a fight, but I want you 915 00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:38,160 Speaker 5: to understand what I go through. That I hope every 916 00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:41,600 Speaker 5: call I go on is transporting a booboo, because otherwise 917 00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:44,360 Speaker 5: it means that if I don't do everything right, someone 918 00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:46,399 Speaker 5: could pass away. If I don't get at that door 919 00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:49,200 Speaker 5: as quickly as possible, someone could suffer brain damage while 920 00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:51,080 Speaker 5: they're waiting for me to give them oxygen. If I'm 921 00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:53,719 Speaker 5: upset and shaking because I had to waste time opening 922 00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:56,439 Speaker 5: my boots, I might miss something critical and someone might 923 00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:59,799 Speaker 5: not make it. She acknowledged that she understood and told 924 00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:02,120 Speaker 5: me that she hadn't really thought about the danger of 925 00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:04,239 Speaker 5: what I had to do until the other night when 926 00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:06,120 Speaker 5: she saw the photos of the Rex. 927 00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:09,520 Speaker 2: Again. This is like I've said, I've used this example before. 928 00:43:09,719 --> 00:43:11,480 Speaker 2: I broke up with someone because they didn't know there 929 00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:13,919 Speaker 2: were two world wars, but they knew about World War Two. 930 00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:16,680 Speaker 2: They knew that World War two existed, but they didn't 931 00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:19,319 Speaker 2: know they were two world wars. And after that came 932 00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:21,759 Speaker 2: to light, I said, I can't. I can't. I can't 933 00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,480 Speaker 2: keep dating you. I can't. I didn't make it about that, 934 00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:26,560 Speaker 2: but in my own head I was like, oh my god, 935 00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:29,080 Speaker 2: this is so over. I can't. And this is one 936 00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:30,839 Speaker 2: of those moments where it's like, what did you think 937 00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:34,000 Speaker 2: you think we wrote around the neighborhood giving people candy 938 00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:38,080 Speaker 2: and lollipops? Like what what did you think? The EMT 939 00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:38,879 Speaker 2: did well? 940 00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:42,319 Speaker 5: And well, the thing is he's already explained to her, like, hey, 941 00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:43,120 Speaker 5: this is life or death. 942 00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:45,520 Speaker 2: He said it. He said it's so many like oh man. 943 00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:48,040 Speaker 5: So I told her that I think she has OCD 944 00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:50,480 Speaker 5: and needs to see a therapist because it's hurting our marriage. 945 00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:53,160 Speaker 5: I listed examples of her throwing important things out, moving 946 00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:55,360 Speaker 5: things without permission, and messing with my gear. I offered 947 00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:57,000 Speaker 5: to go together in staid I'd be willing to work 948 00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:59,120 Speaker 5: on things together. After I point out the pattern, she 949 00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:01,920 Speaker 5: agreed that it was time to speak to someone. She 950 00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:04,680 Speaker 5: wants to think about whether she wants to go together 951 00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:07,000 Speaker 5: or go by herself. But she promised me that she's 952 00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:09,839 Speaker 5: going to try to change her patterns. I brought up 953 00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:12,080 Speaker 5: her saying she thought I was going to hit her, 954 00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:14,560 Speaker 5: and she acknowledged that she'd been with guys who flew 955 00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:17,279 Speaker 5: off the handle with little provocation and scared her that 956 00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:19,760 Speaker 5: she'd never seen ME get that angry, and it triggered 957 00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:21,880 Speaker 5: her because she didn't think I was capable of blowing 958 00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:24,879 Speaker 5: up like that, which I I will give her that, 959 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,360 Speaker 5: like like how you you had this reaction and I 960 00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:29,719 Speaker 5: was afraid. I totally get it out. But it's like 961 00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:31,640 Speaker 5: all of the other all of the other things we 962 00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:34,640 Speaker 5: need to address it, acknowledge and like truly truly, like that's. 963 00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:37,600 Speaker 2: I would understand this, or if it was if it 964 00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:40,560 Speaker 2: had nothing to do with her, like it's it's her 965 00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:43,279 Speaker 2: literally just being like poke poke poke poke poke poke 966 00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:47,120 Speaker 2: poke poke. And then the most annoying thing I've straight 967 00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:49,359 Speaker 2: up ever heard, which is after tying the boots over 968 00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:50,799 Speaker 2: and over and over again, he's trying to go on 969 00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:53,120 Speaker 2: that call and he's untying the boots, like, and she goes, 970 00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:55,880 Speaker 2: shouldn't be like going to that. Oh my god, I 971 00:44:55,880 --> 00:45:00,759 Speaker 2: would have disintegrated. Actually. So however, all this to say, 972 00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:04,200 Speaker 2: I also really question her ability to be truthful based 973 00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:05,920 Speaker 2: on what we're hearing. Yeah, because she's seeing a lot 974 00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:09,040 Speaker 2: of stuff that is just actual nonsense. I think I 975 00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:10,359 Speaker 2: think you totally could be right. 976 00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:12,360 Speaker 5: I think I think she might be just kind of 977 00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:13,880 Speaker 5: giving maybe O people he wants to hear in this 978 00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:16,520 Speaker 5: moment or something like that. Also, Alina says trauma responses 979 00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:18,880 Speaker 5: are so scary. I think think like, I think I 980 00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:20,920 Speaker 5: kind of view her response to that and this like 981 00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:23,440 Speaker 5: in a vacuum a little bit. But it's like she 982 00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:27,319 Speaker 5: just again she just doesn't acknowledge. It doesn't seem to 983 00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:29,120 Speaker 5: me like she actually friendly gets it. 984 00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:29,319 Speaker 2: Now. 985 00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:31,880 Speaker 5: She's been very emotional lately and has been going through moodswings. 986 00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:34,160 Speaker 5: She's been worried about me going out on calls. The 987 00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:36,680 Speaker 5: other day she started crying and said, I hope you 988 00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:38,640 Speaker 5: know how much I appreciate what you do. 989 00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:40,880 Speaker 2: You know what I appreciate? Oh, I have a feeling 990 00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:42,440 Speaker 2: I do I appreciate people. 991 00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:46,640 Speaker 5: They go to Spotify, Apple and iHeart and search Okay, 992 00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:50,040 Speaker 5: story time and listen to it because it's there for 993 00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:51,560 Speaker 5: you to listen to pleasure while you're doing the dishes. 994 00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:54,200 Speaker 2: Two thousand episodes. It's a treasure trove. 995 00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:56,920 Speaker 5: Of content that you literally would have to spend fifty 996 00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:59,480 Speaker 5: three fifty four days listening straight too. I wish other 997 00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:01,839 Speaker 5: other shit I listened to you had fifty four days 998 00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:02,880 Speaker 5: straight of content that ichlists. 999 00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:04,960 Speaker 2: Do you know? I think there's there's a conspiracy out 1000 00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:08,840 Speaker 2: there were up to fifty eight Wow, regardless, is this 1001 00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:11,680 Speaker 2: really a divorced situation? Like I can't say that because 1002 00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:14,319 Speaker 2: I'm not in it, but like, I don't think. I 1003 00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:17,759 Speaker 2: think this is something that would fundamentally shift the way 1004 00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:22,799 Speaker 2: I look at my wife and I don't know if 1005 00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:23,919 Speaker 2: it'll ever go back. 1006 00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:26,960 Speaker 5: I think like if I'm if I'm in op shoes, 1007 00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:30,280 Speaker 5: I'm like, oh, I literally can't communicate with this person 1008 00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:34,680 Speaker 5: because I'll literally say something and something very serious and 1009 00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:37,120 Speaker 5: it'll just be complete, whether it's ignored, whether she doesn't 1010 00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:40,399 Speaker 5: understand whatever the means of it not being received, she's 1011 00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:43,520 Speaker 5: not gonna receive. It will be completely misaligned, and it's 1012 00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:46,719 Speaker 5: just going to cause all kinds of all kinds of 1013 00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:49,120 Speaker 5: Uh right, we still have a little bit of the 1014 00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:52,359 Speaker 5: story left. We'll see knock on wood. Since we've had 1015 00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:56,320 Speaker 5: the big talk, she hasn't touched my boots. Is everything resolved? 1016 00:46:56,719 --> 00:46:58,799 Speaker 5: Not by a log shot, that's what Hope actually said, 1017 00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:01,040 Speaker 5: but she seems avenue of appreciation for what I do. 1018 00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:03,160 Speaker 5: Thank you for all your responses. I wound up not 1019 00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:04,920 Speaker 5: showing her the thread because it was a lot of 1020 00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:08,040 Speaker 5: pretty harsh things towards her. I recognize I cherry picked 1021 00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:10,120 Speaker 5: incidents that didn't put her in the best light. And 1022 00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:11,880 Speaker 5: there's a lot more to her in our marriage than that. 1023 00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:13,880 Speaker 5: She is the person I chose to the rest of 1024 00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:16,200 Speaker 5: my life, and I want us to work. 1025 00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:21,160 Speaker 2: Oooh all right, divor wow wow, Okay, yeah, dude, okay, 1026 00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:22,759 Speaker 2: but that's the end of that story. That's it. 1027 00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:26,120 Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam your ogi host here reading it. Back 1028 00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:28,280 Speaker 1: to the stories. But here's three minutes bads from our sponsor. 1029 00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:32,520 Speaker 2: He cheated on me while I was pregnant. I don't 1030 00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:33,120 Speaker 2: need him. 1031 00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:36,680 Speaker 4: You don't need him, that's right, gig about. 1032 00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:39,280 Speaker 2: You don't need that piece of trash. 1033 00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:40,240 Speaker 4: No one needs them. 1034 00:47:40,239 --> 00:47:43,040 Speaker 2: In April, when I was twelve weeks pregnant, I found 1035 00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:46,680 Speaker 2: out that my female twenty eight husband male twenty eight, 1036 00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:49,399 Speaker 2: had recently started cheating on me with a girl at 1037 00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:52,520 Speaker 2: his work, and I still haven't gotten over. And by 1038 00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:54,680 Speaker 2: the way, this comes from someone who's not a trash person. 1039 00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:57,880 Speaker 2: It comes from user falling for you and on on 1040 00:47:57,880 --> 00:48:01,000 Speaker 2: on the r slash Okay, storytime subredding. We've been married 1041 00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:04,120 Speaker 2: since summer of twenty eighteen, but together since summer of 1042 00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:07,560 Speaker 2: twenty fourteen. It's nearly our nine year anniversary now, and 1043 00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:12,160 Speaker 2: I'm currently thirty weeks pregnant with our first child. I 1044 00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:15,279 Speaker 2: always thought that if my partner ever cheated on me, 1045 00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:17,360 Speaker 2: I would be out the door in a hurry, because 1046 00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:20,400 Speaker 2: it's a type of disrespect I could never stand for. However, 1047 00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:22,760 Speaker 2: I never thought it would happen to me, let alone, 1048 00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:25,240 Speaker 2: after I had put eight and a half years into 1049 00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:29,080 Speaker 2: this man, plus a house, two cars, two dogs, a cat, 1050 00:48:29,160 --> 00:48:32,280 Speaker 2: and a baby we both wanted for as many years 1051 00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:34,520 Speaker 2: at that point. I know I am more sensitive right 1052 00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:36,680 Speaker 2: now due to the pregnancy, but it's now August and 1053 00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:40,160 Speaker 2: I am so tired of waking up hurting every day. 1054 00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:43,520 Speaker 2: After I found out about the cheating, I confronted him 1055 00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:45,600 Speaker 2: and he admitted that he had started sleeping with her 1056 00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:48,000 Speaker 2: and at the time had done so three times. I 1057 00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,520 Speaker 2: was in my first trimester, and he knew how sick. 1058 00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:53,800 Speaker 2: I had been literally spending all day every day barfin 1059 00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:58,240 Speaker 2: my morning sickness lasted until about dinner time usually and sleepin' 1060 00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:02,000 Speaker 2: hope he's just barfing and sleeping. He has a job 1061 00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:04,439 Speaker 2: that has always kept him pretty busy, but he would 1062 00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:06,440 Speaker 2: always check in with me throughout the day. I work 1063 00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:09,640 Speaker 2: from home and am self employed, making much less money 1064 00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:12,040 Speaker 2: than him, but was something we had discussed in depth 1065 00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:15,080 Speaker 2: after the loss of my first pregnancy and agreed that 1066 00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:17,520 Speaker 2: me being home and dealing with the house in pets 1067 00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:19,719 Speaker 2: was something we should try. Plus we both wanted me 1068 00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:21,799 Speaker 2: to be a stay at home mom for whenever we 1069 00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:24,120 Speaker 2: did have a baby, so while I made less, it 1070 00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:27,560 Speaker 2: was something we fully agreed on together. When he would 1071 00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:30,600 Speaker 2: check in, it was always so sweet. He called me 1072 00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:34,200 Speaker 2: in between meetings on the road driving anytime he was free, 1073 00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:36,880 Speaker 2: and he would text me to announce his safe arrival 1074 00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:39,480 Speaker 2: every time he had to go anywhere. It was never 1075 00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:41,560 Speaker 2: a burden that I asked for him to check in, 1076 00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:44,120 Speaker 2: because we both just naturally wanted to talk to each 1077 00:49:44,120 --> 00:49:46,439 Speaker 2: other all the time during free moments in the day, 1078 00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:49,760 Speaker 2: which is how our relationship had been for the entire duration. 1079 00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:52,640 Speaker 2: There was no asking at all. Really, it's just how 1080 00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:55,239 Speaker 2: it was with us. I gave him another chance when 1081 00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:58,400 Speaker 2: I confronted him because I was so blindsided. It didn't 1082 00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:01,360 Speaker 2: make sense to me, and now it still doesn't. But 1083 00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:03,719 Speaker 2: I was twelve weeks along with a baby I had 1084 00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:07,120 Speaker 2: been wishing for for years. We struggled with conception, and 1085 00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:09,920 Speaker 2: I had a vision in my head of our family 1086 00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:11,920 Speaker 2: that I couldn't let go up. We agreed that he 1087 00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:14,160 Speaker 2: would go into work and end it with her the 1088 00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:16,640 Speaker 2: next morning, which he didn't think would be an issue 1089 00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:19,759 Speaker 2: because it was just the passest sleep and they had 1090 00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:23,000 Speaker 2: no feelings involved. Yeah, oh that makes it okay. Yeah, 1091 00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:26,680 Speaker 2: you can cheat on your well pregnant wife, well pregnant wife. 1092 00:50:26,719 --> 00:50:28,560 Speaker 2: I didn't feel anything emotionally. 1093 00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:28,719 Speaker 4: So's fine. 1094 00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:32,239 Speaker 2: I'm actually in the clear. I'm actually a cold hearted psychopath, so. 1095 00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:34,799 Speaker 4: I have no emotions at all. 1096 00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:38,000 Speaker 2: Let it be known that this girl knew about me, 1097 00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:40,720 Speaker 2: and I had stopped in at his office many times 1098 00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:43,600 Speaker 2: for lunch visits with my husband, and he had photos 1099 00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:45,879 Speaker 2: of me on his computer and desk so they were 1100 00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:48,560 Speaker 2: constant reminders that I was real for the both of them. 1101 00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:51,960 Speaker 2: He told me in later conversations that before the affair started, 1102 00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,560 Speaker 2: she would joke with him that I'm too hot for 1103 00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:57,920 Speaker 2: him and she planned on stealing me away. She apparently 1104 00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:00,279 Speaker 2: is by with a heavy lean towards women, and when 1105 00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:02,640 Speaker 2: my husband would talk about her before the affairs, I 1106 00:51:02,719 --> 00:51:05,120 Speaker 2: was told she was lesbian and that he and all 1107 00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:09,239 Speaker 2: the guys at work besides one found her highly unattractive. 1108 00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:11,799 Speaker 2: What happened when he ended it with her is I 1109 00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:14,480 Speaker 2: guess she took it all right, left and then a 1110 00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:16,880 Speaker 2: few hours later came back and begged him not to 1111 00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:19,080 Speaker 2: leave her. He told me that she was crying and 1112 00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:21,960 Speaker 2: clinging onto him, and there was something about abandonment issues 1113 00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:25,239 Speaker 2: that I truthfully do not care about because I was 1114 00:51:25,239 --> 00:51:29,440 Speaker 2: his partner of almost nine years and carrying his child. 1115 00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:33,800 Speaker 4: Letterly, who cares about this girl? You are their party, babe. 1116 00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:38,160 Speaker 2: She has abandonman issues, babe? Was I supposed to do? 1117 00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:41,120 Speaker 4: She would have been really upset if I had left her. 1118 00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:43,920 Speaker 2: Do you know I was trying to be nice? 1119 00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:44,480 Speaker 5: Nah? 1120 00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:46,600 Speaker 2: Don't you want a nice husband like you? 1121 00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:46,960 Speaker 4: Can't? 1122 00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:50,040 Speaker 3: You can't be mad that you started dating a spade 1123 00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:51,720 Speaker 3: if you knew it was a spade. 1124 00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:55,120 Speaker 2: He told me that he had ended their relationship. Next 1125 00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:57,840 Speaker 2: he went on to get tested. There was no crossover 1126 00:51:57,880 --> 00:51:59,920 Speaker 2: at all while this was going on, and he was clean. 1127 00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:02,080 Speaker 2: He showed me all the test results, as this was 1128 00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:05,840 Speaker 2: an important stipulation obviously. For the next month, I watched 1129 00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:08,319 Speaker 2: him leave early morning and broke down as soon as 1130 00:52:08,320 --> 00:52:11,040 Speaker 2: he left, sometimes begging before he went to work for 1131 00:52:11,120 --> 00:52:13,040 Speaker 2: him to call and sick and stay home with me. 1132 00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:15,840 Speaker 2: I was a wreck. We had a vacation plan for 1133 00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:19,280 Speaker 2: months before coming up in May, and I somehow thought 1134 00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:21,200 Speaker 2: it would be good for us to get away and 1135 00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:24,239 Speaker 2: just be the two of us. I was counting down 1136 00:52:24,239 --> 00:52:27,400 Speaker 2: the seconds until that trip, keeping everything I was going 1137 00:52:27,400 --> 00:52:31,439 Speaker 2: through just to myself and quickly deteriorating. In that month, 1138 00:52:31,480 --> 00:52:34,839 Speaker 2: I lost twenty two pounds because I could not eat, 1139 00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:37,800 Speaker 2: and every time I did, I would barf. My husband 1140 00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:40,360 Speaker 2: watched me in agony, a complete shell of who I 1141 00:52:40,360 --> 00:52:42,560 Speaker 2: once was, trying to grow our child and not being 1142 00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:45,000 Speaker 2: able to stomach food literally at all. It got so 1143 00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:47,000 Speaker 2: bad that my whole face broke out and what looked 1144 00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:49,480 Speaker 2: like hives from how hard my body was trying to 1145 00:52:49,560 --> 00:52:52,000 Speaker 2: throw up when there was nothing left inside me. Every day, 1146 00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:54,320 Speaker 2: like the little blood vessels popped all over my skin 1147 00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:55,799 Speaker 2: from sobbing and puking all day. 1148 00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:59,719 Speaker 3: O'spen aten separation from this man, because clearly, like even 1149 00:52:59,800 --> 00:53:01,480 Speaker 3: if you know, oh, it's like, oh, I don't know 1150 00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:03,920 Speaker 3: if I can do it alone right now. Your safety 1151 00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:06,160 Speaker 3: and your health is at risk because of him, So 1152 00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:07,200 Speaker 3: you need to get out of there. 1153 00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:10,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred percent. We went on our trip what 1154 00:53:10,880 --> 00:53:13,120 Speaker 2: girl Girl Hospital. I hope it was a trip to 1155 00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:16,360 Speaker 2: the hospital, and it was painful. There were good times, 1156 00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:18,680 Speaker 2: but also I was still so broken and I had 1157 00:53:18,719 --> 00:53:21,120 Speaker 2: no trust in him this whole month long period. I 1158 00:53:21,160 --> 00:53:23,720 Speaker 2: felt something was still off, but he gave me access 1159 00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:25,680 Speaker 2: to his phone and I would check it in front 1160 00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:27,600 Speaker 2: of him, and also whenever he was asleep or in 1161 00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:29,759 Speaker 2: the shower, just to be sure. After the vacation, it 1162 00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:32,560 Speaker 2: got really really bad for me. The intuition in my 1163 00:53:32,640 --> 00:53:34,480 Speaker 2: head that I felt back in April had never really 1164 00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:37,040 Speaker 2: gone away, but it was so incredibly loud that I 1165 00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:39,160 Speaker 2: felt like I was going crazy. He was telling me 1166 00:53:39,239 --> 00:53:42,120 Speaker 2: he loved me, reassuring me that it was really over 1167 00:53:42,160 --> 00:53:43,640 Speaker 2: with her and that he was going to be a 1168 00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:46,040 Speaker 2: good husband to me and the best father to our daughter. 1169 00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:48,000 Speaker 2: No matter how much I wanted to believe him, there 1170 00:53:48,040 --> 00:53:50,560 Speaker 2: was something in me telling me he was lying. While 1171 00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:53,239 Speaker 2: he showered one morning, I went into the bathroom to 1172 00:53:53,280 --> 00:53:55,920 Speaker 2: pee and his phone was sitting on his pile of 1173 00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:57,920 Speaker 2: work clothes for when he got out. I grabbed it 1174 00:53:58,000 --> 00:53:59,880 Speaker 2: and brought it with me while I peed, thinking it 1175 00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:01,920 Speaker 2: would be like every other time where I looked at 1176 00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:05,239 Speaker 2: his phone and found nothing. Instead, in his WhatsApp there 1177 00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:08,880 Speaker 2: was a thread of messages with her from the night before. Well, 1178 00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:10,759 Speaker 2: you need to leave him. I guess he proved you 1179 00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:13,200 Speaker 2: wrong now, like it's literally. 1180 00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:14,839 Speaker 3: Not helping you out all to be with us. Man, 1181 00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:17,520 Speaker 3: I feel like she's somewhat staying with him for the kid. 1182 00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:19,239 Speaker 4: But you need to leave him for the kid. 1183 00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:22,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, A hundred percent day before it was a long 1184 00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:26,040 Speaker 2: workday for him, something I dreaded even before the affair, 1185 00:54:26,160 --> 00:54:28,480 Speaker 2: because being apart from him for crazy hours made me 1186 00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:30,520 Speaker 2: miss him, but I knew there was no way to 1187 00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:32,640 Speaker 2: avoid it. I remember I had offered to bring him 1188 00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:34,799 Speaker 2: food for lunch even though we lived an hour away 1189 00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:36,600 Speaker 2: from the office, and he told me not to worry 1190 00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:38,799 Speaker 2: about driving that he'll bribe one of the guys into 1191 00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:40,840 Speaker 2: bringing him something so I didn't have to waste the 1192 00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:44,000 Speaker 2: gas money. In reality, she was bringing him lunch and 1193 00:54:44,080 --> 00:54:46,439 Speaker 2: he was texting her about it at the same time 1194 00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:49,200 Speaker 2: he was texting me. Those texts haunt me so badly. 1195 00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:52,799 Speaker 2: Even now she has told him I missed you and 1196 00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:56,080 Speaker 2: he replied the same. So clearly they had only progressed 1197 00:54:56,080 --> 00:54:57,120 Speaker 2: more in the last month. 1198 00:54:57,160 --> 00:54:59,000 Speaker 4: I thought it wasn't emotional. I thought it was just 1199 00:54:59,040 --> 00:55:00,000 Speaker 4: a physical relationship. 1200 00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:03,479 Speaker 2: This guy has already earned the black hole treatment for me. Yeah, 1201 00:55:03,480 --> 00:55:06,080 Speaker 2: when she was bringing him lunch, he told her I 1202 00:55:06,239 --> 00:55:08,920 Speaker 2: just want you and a burgher. And then there was 1203 00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:12,040 Speaker 2: some hours later messages where they laughed about getting everyone 1204 00:55:12,080 --> 00:55:14,760 Speaker 2: out of the office and conspicuously so they could be alone, 1205 00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:16,960 Speaker 2: and she said, now I get to have you. And 1206 00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:19,759 Speaker 2: reading those messages sixteen weeks pregnant and the first thing 1207 00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:23,200 Speaker 2: in the morning quite literally made me want to cease existing. 1208 00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:26,480 Speaker 2: When confronted, he promised me that they didn't have the 1209 00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:29,040 Speaker 2: spie to sleep, even though it sounded like it would 1210 00:55:29,080 --> 00:55:31,319 Speaker 2: happen in those messages, but that he has still been 1211 00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:33,640 Speaker 2: sleeping with her, just not that day. I guess the 1212 00:55:33,719 --> 00:55:36,239 Speaker 2: horrible thing to have to read for OP. I just, 1213 00:55:36,440 --> 00:55:39,520 Speaker 2: oh yeah, it's like the most nightmare text was making 1214 00:55:39,560 --> 00:55:43,360 Speaker 2: my stomach flip even thinking about this man. This was 1215 00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:46,000 Speaker 2: back in May. I left him the next day, yes 1216 00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:48,319 Speaker 2: after I confronted him again and he admitted that he 1217 00:55:48,360 --> 00:55:51,959 Speaker 2: never actually stopped. He tried, and his story was half true. 1218 00:55:51,960 --> 00:55:54,319 Speaker 2: He says that when he spoke with her, she came 1219 00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:57,200 Speaker 2: back crying and begging and then apparently forced him into 1220 00:55:57,200 --> 00:56:00,319 Speaker 2: an empty office where she tried to add some I 1221 00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:02,720 Speaker 2: say things to him. He promised me that he stopped 1222 00:56:02,719 --> 00:56:05,719 Speaker 2: her and shoved her away. Lie, but that she had 1223 00:56:05,760 --> 00:56:09,000 Speaker 2: gotten his pants down and gotten this This is the 1224 00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:12,080 Speaker 2: dumbest lie of all time. Okay, well, was like, uh, 1225 00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:15,040 Speaker 2: nothing happened, It's just one time my pants were accidentally. 1226 00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:17,880 Speaker 3: Seems like he's a freaking liar. And he's like, oh yeah, 1227 00:56:18,239 --> 00:56:19,960 Speaker 3: she pulled my pants down and we had a little 1228 00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:20,839 Speaker 3: bit of spicy to sleep. 1229 00:56:20,880 --> 00:56:24,319 Speaker 2: But uh so he says nothing happened that day. He 1230 00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:26,640 Speaker 2: swore to me, but that in his mind it was 1231 00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:29,440 Speaker 2: over then, because in our initial conversation I told him 1232 00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:30,960 Speaker 2: I would give him a second chance, but if he 1233 00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:32,920 Speaker 2: did this again, I would leave him. He counted this 1234 00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:35,279 Speaker 2: as doing it again, even though when he broke down 1235 00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:37,719 Speaker 2: and told me this, it sounded more like she did 1236 00:56:37,800 --> 00:56:40,680 Speaker 2: the SA on him while he was saying no, rather 1237 00:56:40,719 --> 00:56:43,440 Speaker 2: than him cheating another time. Which again I'm fully convinced 1238 00:56:43,440 --> 00:56:45,239 Speaker 2: this guy's lying, but he didn't see it that way 1239 00:56:45,280 --> 00:56:47,440 Speaker 2: at the time and thought I'd leave if he told me, 1240 00:56:47,600 --> 00:56:49,759 Speaker 2: and figured he might as well not stop if I 1241 00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:51,560 Speaker 2: was just going to find out and leave him in 1242 00:56:51,560 --> 00:56:53,719 Speaker 2: the long run, because he had already messed up. Now 1243 00:56:53,719 --> 00:56:56,640 Speaker 2: fast forward to August. I've been living alone since May. 1244 00:56:56,719 --> 00:56:58,719 Speaker 2: I left him the day after I found out the 1245 00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:00,719 Speaker 2: second time, going to stay with my aunt for a 1246 00:57:00,719 --> 00:57:03,239 Speaker 2: few days with my dogs. I ended up coming back 1247 00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:05,399 Speaker 2: to the house and kicking him out because it didn't 1248 00:57:05,400 --> 00:57:08,080 Speaker 2: seem fair to me that everyone besides him had to suffer. 1249 00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:11,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, fine, job, get your house, take that ouse, gehady. 1250 00:57:12,760 --> 00:57:14,520 Speaker 3: I hope he has to go find like a full 1251 00:57:14,560 --> 00:57:16,040 Speaker 3: of new house, and you get the house, and you 1252 00:57:16,040 --> 00:57:18,439 Speaker 3: get all the money and we never have to see 1253 00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:18,880 Speaker 3: him again. 1254 00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:21,040 Speaker 2: Me being pregnant and hauling around two six year old 1255 00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:23,360 Speaker 2: dogs who are very used to being homebodies and were 1256 00:57:23,360 --> 00:57:26,200 Speaker 2: confused and stop eating due to this dress plus our cat, 1257 00:57:26,200 --> 00:57:28,080 Speaker 2: who has deeply bonded to me and is used to 1258 00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:30,160 Speaker 2: me being home with her all day, was now left 1259 00:57:30,160 --> 00:57:32,440 Speaker 2: alone while he was working for ten plus hours, and 1260 00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:34,400 Speaker 2: all of our animals, our friends, So it was really 1261 00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:37,000 Speaker 2: effed up for everyone but my husband, who was the 1262 00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:39,480 Speaker 2: one who did the wrong thing. Anyways. So now I'm 1263 00:57:39,520 --> 00:57:42,000 Speaker 2: thirty weeks pregnant, preparing to sell our house and move 1264 00:57:42,120 --> 00:57:44,680 Speaker 2: back into my dad's house with the three animals and 1265 00:57:44,760 --> 00:57:48,000 Speaker 2: my daughter when she's born, and I'm still so so hurt. 1266 00:57:48,120 --> 00:57:50,360 Speaker 2: I really felt like this man was the love of 1267 00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:52,400 Speaker 2: my life and my soulmate. All of our friends who 1268 00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:55,000 Speaker 2: I've spoken to about our separation. I cannot afford a 1269 00:57:55,080 --> 00:57:57,800 Speaker 2: lawyer until the house sells, and I'm unfortunately a sorry 1270 00:57:57,800 --> 00:58:00,200 Speaker 2: excuse of a woman and sob whenever I think of 1271 00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:02,760 Speaker 2: the word divorce, even though I know that has to 1272 00:58:02,800 --> 00:58:05,200 Speaker 2: be the one of the steps I take down the line. 1273 00:58:05,240 --> 00:58:07,640 Speaker 2: I have been absolutely shocked due to how out of 1274 00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:09,880 Speaker 2: character this was of him. We were known as the 1275 00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:12,520 Speaker 2: couple that could handle anything together. My family was the 1276 00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:15,440 Speaker 2: same way because of how wonderful my husband was to 1277 00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:17,400 Speaker 2: me for eight and a half years. He was so 1278 00:58:17,480 --> 00:58:20,200 Speaker 2: emotionally supportive and sweet, and I like to think I 1279 00:58:20,440 --> 00:58:22,640 Speaker 2: was to him as well. I lost my mom, who 1280 00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:26,320 Speaker 2: was my best friend, and we together lost our first child, 1281 00:58:26,400 --> 00:58:28,880 Speaker 2: and he dealt with going no contact with his mother, 1282 00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:31,120 Speaker 2: and we were truly each other's rock for so long 1283 00:58:31,240 --> 00:58:33,439 Speaker 2: through all of those moments, just to name a few. 1284 00:58:33,480 --> 00:58:36,640 Speaker 2: And I'm carrying his daughter, who I love deeply already. 1285 00:58:36,720 --> 00:58:38,760 Speaker 2: I know he hurt me and changed me as a person, 1286 00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:41,200 Speaker 2: but it's so incredibly hard to forget the years of 1287 00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:43,960 Speaker 2: happiness I had with him and see that they're seemingly 1288 00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:46,800 Speaker 2: over now. The crappy thing is I would probably take 1289 00:58:46,880 --> 00:58:48,920 Speaker 2: him back if he came to me and set all 1290 00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:51,400 Speaker 2: the right things and made the right promises and made 1291 00:58:51,480 --> 00:58:54,280 Speaker 2: me believe him. But instead I live alone, while growing 1292 00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:56,720 Speaker 2: this baby and taking care of the animals we pick 1293 00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:59,280 Speaker 2: and have raised for six and two years together, dealing 1294 00:58:59,280 --> 00:59:01,600 Speaker 2: with this trauma by myself, and he is all but 1295 00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:04,200 Speaker 2: living with the girl he cheated on me with. Every 1296 00:59:04,200 --> 00:59:06,320 Speaker 2: time I drive past his apartment, her car is there 1297 00:59:06,360 --> 00:59:08,760 Speaker 2: sometimes when even his car is gone. 1298 00:59:08,880 --> 00:59:12,320 Speaker 4: Obviously, you know, when there is kind of like an 1299 00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:14,840 Speaker 4: asset thing, you can have kind of emotional trauma. But 1300 00:59:14,920 --> 00:59:18,200 Speaker 4: I think going based off of his past lies and 1301 00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:20,920 Speaker 4: his behavior, the fact that he's living with her, like 1302 00:59:21,120 --> 00:59:22,200 Speaker 4: he definitely lied about that. 1303 00:59:22,320 --> 00:59:24,200 Speaker 2: Of course he would lie about that because he's a 1304 00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:27,640 Speaker 2: liar with no conscience for his lies. And it was 1305 00:59:27,800 --> 00:59:29,960 Speaker 2: like the most like first grade, like, how did you 1306 00:59:30,080 --> 00:59:31,000 Speaker 2: get myself out of this? 1307 00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:31,760 Speaker 6: Oh? 1308 00:59:31,880 --> 00:59:34,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, it wasn't me at all, It was just all her. Yeah, 1309 00:59:34,480 --> 00:59:37,640 Speaker 2: And then grazed my knee and I was like, oh, 1310 00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:40,200 Speaker 2: I remember if she said that I touched her again, 1311 00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:42,320 Speaker 2: it would be over. So I just decided to then 1312 00:59:42,480 --> 00:59:46,680 Speaker 2: fully cheat on you. What he promises that she doesn't 1313 00:59:46,720 --> 00:59:48,919 Speaker 2: have a key, and that when the baby is born, 1314 00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:50,720 Speaker 2: she won't get in the way of him being a father. 1315 00:59:50,960 --> 00:59:54,160 Speaker 2: She hates children and babies, cats and dogs, so clearly 1316 00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:56,760 Speaker 2: she's a super great person on top of knowingly effing 1317 00:59:56,760 --> 00:59:58,600 Speaker 2: a married man. But at this point, it's been months 1318 00:59:58,640 --> 01:00:01,280 Speaker 2: of him knowing he's hurting me, still publicly married. His 1319 01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:03,880 Speaker 2: friends have no idea about any of this. Only our 1320 01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:07,120 Speaker 2: mutual friends and my family know any of what's happened. 1321 01:00:07,120 --> 01:00:09,360 Speaker 2: Though not with all the details I've put in this post, 1322 01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:11,560 Speaker 2: I should mention that when I did come face to 1323 01:00:11,600 --> 01:00:14,360 Speaker 2: face with this girl, only once she laughed at what 1324 01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:16,960 Speaker 2: she had done. Ooh, and when I told her that 1325 01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:19,240 Speaker 2: she broke apart my family and took my daughter's father 1326 01:00:19,320 --> 01:00:22,920 Speaker 2: away before she was even born, she literally shrugged and muttered, yeah, I. 1327 01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:24,560 Speaker 4: Know, cheesy evil. 1328 01:00:24,760 --> 01:00:27,360 Speaker 2: I only say this because I know people will say 1329 01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:29,400 Speaker 2: not to blame me a fair partner, but only blame 1330 01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:31,520 Speaker 2: my husband, who was the one who broke his vows 1331 01:00:31,520 --> 01:00:33,080 Speaker 2: to me. But I fully blamed them both. 1332 01:00:33,120 --> 01:00:35,320 Speaker 4: The person who broke the vow with you is the 1333 01:00:35,360 --> 01:00:37,880 Speaker 4: person that you should direct your ire the full like 1334 01:00:38,040 --> 01:00:41,440 Speaker 4: anger and argument should be directed towards your partner. But 1335 01:00:41,640 --> 01:00:44,000 Speaker 4: you know her, and you had a conversation with her. 1336 01:00:44,200 --> 01:00:46,880 Speaker 3: You're allowed to be mad at her and direct some 1337 01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:48,080 Speaker 3: ire towards her. 1338 01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:52,560 Speaker 2: Some yea all, she knew what she was doing, and 1339 01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:55,160 Speaker 2: so did he, and she seems to like knowing how 1340 01:00:55,200 --> 01:00:58,040 Speaker 2: powerful she was in this situation. He tells me often 1341 01:00:58,080 --> 01:01:00,480 Speaker 2: that he doesn't want to end our relationship, that right 1342 01:01:00,520 --> 01:01:03,000 Speaker 2: now he isn't right for me, that he can't be 1343 01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:05,720 Speaker 2: who he was because he effed up so badly that 1344 01:01:05,760 --> 01:01:08,280 Speaker 2: he doesn't know how to fix it. And now he's 1345 01:01:08,320 --> 01:01:11,200 Speaker 2: saying that going with monogamy just isn't for him, even 1346 01:01:11,240 --> 01:01:14,000 Speaker 2: though he and his affair partner are living together, recreating 1347 01:01:14,200 --> 01:01:18,120 Speaker 2: the life we had, living very obviously in monogamy. 1348 01:01:18,320 --> 01:01:18,800 Speaker 4: No, he's just. 1349 01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:20,959 Speaker 3: Saying he doesn't want to do monogamy because he wants 1350 01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:22,880 Speaker 3: an excuse to like cheat on this girl too. 1351 01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:27,720 Speaker 2: He's a bad he's a bad lier, worst liar. So 1352 01:01:27,760 --> 01:01:30,920 Speaker 2: it hurts so much because he's already replaced me with her, 1353 01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:34,360 Speaker 2: some twenty year old girl is sleeping beside my husband 1354 01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:37,040 Speaker 2: and having meals with him and sitting in his passenger seat. 1355 01:01:37,080 --> 01:01:39,320 Speaker 2: It just isn't how my life was supposed to go. 1356 01:01:39,520 --> 01:01:41,520 Speaker 2: I wish so much that I could stay firm on 1357 01:01:41,560 --> 01:01:44,600 Speaker 2: hating him, because, trust me, I do, and I've had 1358 01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:47,760 Speaker 2: several hours over the last few months where I make 1359 01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:49,840 Speaker 2: sure he knows what he did to me and how 1360 01:01:49,920 --> 01:01:52,040 Speaker 2: much I hate him for ruining the woman I was 1361 01:01:52,120 --> 01:01:54,880 Speaker 2: before this betrayal. But I also love him still and 1362 01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:57,360 Speaker 2: I want the family I was all but promised we 1363 01:01:57,360 --> 01:01:59,840 Speaker 2: couldn't get pregnant for nearly three years, and the month 1364 01:01:59,880 --> 01:02:02,160 Speaker 2: I I did get pregnant, I literally told him if 1365 01:02:02,200 --> 01:02:04,320 Speaker 2: it doesn't happen for us, it doesn't happen. I wanted 1366 01:02:04,360 --> 01:02:06,000 Speaker 2: to be a mom, but if it's not in the cards, 1367 01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:07,440 Speaker 2: I will come to terms with it, and I know 1368 01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:10,720 Speaker 2: I can be fulfilled in our relationship without a baby. 1369 01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:13,320 Speaker 2: And then I shockingly did get pregnant, and I felt 1370 01:02:13,320 --> 01:02:15,800 Speaker 2: like it was all falling into place finally, that we 1371 01:02:15,840 --> 01:02:18,800 Speaker 2: would be happy and us like I pictured, but now 1372 01:02:18,840 --> 01:02:21,600 Speaker 2: with a little baby we both day dreamed about for years. 1373 01:02:21,680 --> 01:02:24,160 Speaker 2: I'm really unsure how Reddit works, and I know this 1374 01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:26,880 Speaker 2: post is so long, so no one probably read it, 1375 01:02:26,920 --> 01:02:29,760 Speaker 2: and I don't really know why I wrote it here. Anyways, 1376 01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:31,760 Speaker 2: I know in this situation, he's in the wrong, and 1377 01:02:31,800 --> 01:02:33,520 Speaker 2: I don't need anyone to point that out to me. 1378 01:02:33,600 --> 01:02:35,960 Speaker 2: And I also don't want anyone calling me names for 1379 01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:38,920 Speaker 2: still loving this man who had disrespected and mistreated me 1380 01:02:39,200 --> 01:02:42,120 Speaker 2: so immensely over the last four months. It's just coming 1381 01:02:42,200 --> 01:02:45,000 Speaker 2: up on our anniversary and I'm desperately lonely in this 1382 01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:47,720 Speaker 2: quiet house that I now have to pack up all 1383 01:02:47,800 --> 01:02:50,080 Speaker 2: by myself, and I wanted a place to put my feelings. 1384 01:02:50,120 --> 01:02:52,600 Speaker 2: If you comment, please be nice. I feel stupid and 1385 01:02:52,640 --> 01:02:54,600 Speaker 2: weak enough as it is. I've been with him since 1386 01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:57,880 Speaker 2: we were both barely nineteen, and moved straight from my 1387 01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:00,520 Speaker 2: childhood home into an apartment with him. I've not spent 1388 01:03:00,600 --> 01:03:03,360 Speaker 2: a single adult year alone, and I'm just really sad 1389 01:03:03,520 --> 01:03:05,480 Speaker 2: all the time and don't know what to do. I 1390 01:03:05,520 --> 01:03:07,560 Speaker 2: try to go no contact with him, but we're selling 1391 01:03:07,600 --> 01:03:10,160 Speaker 2: a house and am in my third trimester with his baby. 1392 01:03:10,240 --> 01:03:12,400 Speaker 2: I just hate him and I hate myself. I want 1393 01:03:12,480 --> 01:03:14,560 Speaker 2: him to wake up and see what he's doing, but 1394 01:03:14,600 --> 01:03:16,560 Speaker 2: I don't think he ever will because he has to 1395 01:03:16,640 --> 01:03:19,360 Speaker 2: avoid the accountability of his actions. Yeah, don't wait for that, 1396 01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:22,080 Speaker 2: that'll never happen. And don't hate yourself because you haven't 1397 01:03:22,080 --> 01:03:24,360 Speaker 2: done anything wrong with your It's not like I could 1398 01:03:24,400 --> 01:03:27,000 Speaker 2: ever trust him again anyways, But now I have to 1399 01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:29,600 Speaker 2: co parent a child with him for the next several years, 1400 01:03:29,640 --> 01:03:31,640 Speaker 2: and I don't feel strong enough for any of the 1401 01:03:31,680 --> 01:03:33,880 Speaker 2: future anymore. I don't know how he could do this 1402 01:03:33,920 --> 01:03:36,600 Speaker 2: to me. Tiodr. I am a sad, pregnant lady who 1403 01:03:36,640 --> 01:03:38,440 Speaker 2: doesn't know how to move on from my husband of 1404 01:03:38,480 --> 01:03:40,520 Speaker 2: nearly a decade cheating on me, and I needed a 1405 01:03:40,520 --> 01:03:42,680 Speaker 2: place to share what I'm going through. And we do 1406 01:03:42,800 --> 01:03:43,600 Speaker 2: have some comments. 1407 01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:46,120 Speaker 3: Regardless of how much time you're with someone, whether it's 1408 01:03:46,160 --> 01:03:49,240 Speaker 3: one month or nine years, there's gotta be a time 1409 01:03:49,240 --> 01:03:52,720 Speaker 3: period of just getting over them and sometimes it feels irrational. 1410 01:03:52,800 --> 01:03:54,720 Speaker 3: Sometimes you're like thinking about a person for two months 1411 01:03:54,760 --> 01:03:56,760 Speaker 3: and you're like, why am I still thinking about them? 1412 01:03:57,160 --> 01:03:59,919 Speaker 3: It takes time. Grief is not a linear thing. 1413 01:04:00,160 --> 01:04:03,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, comments Happy Banana one three four. I am a sad, 1414 01:04:03,360 --> 01:04:05,160 Speaker 2: pregnant lady who doesn't know how to move on for 1415 01:04:05,240 --> 01:04:07,440 Speaker 2: my husband of nearly a decade cheating on me. You 1416 01:04:07,520 --> 01:04:11,560 Speaker 2: need to add in strong. Seriously, you're super strong. Deciding 1417 01:04:11,600 --> 01:04:14,440 Speaker 2: to leave is really really hard, and you've absolutely done 1418 01:04:14,440 --> 01:04:16,479 Speaker 2: the right thing here. Things are going to seem bleak, 1419 01:04:16,520 --> 01:04:18,600 Speaker 2: but they will get better. One day it'll hurt less, 1420 01:04:18,640 --> 01:04:20,720 Speaker 2: and then one day it won't hurt at all. He 1421 01:04:20,960 --> 01:04:23,120 Speaker 2: is the one losing here. He's thrown away a loyal 1422 01:04:23,200 --> 01:04:25,400 Speaker 2: partner and what could have been a happy family unit. 1423 01:04:25,440 --> 01:04:28,520 Speaker 2: All you've lost is someone you could never trust. Op 1424 01:04:28,560 --> 01:04:30,480 Speaker 2: He says. It's very hard for me to feel strong 1425 01:04:30,560 --> 01:04:32,480 Speaker 2: because it seems like this is the only thing I 1426 01:04:32,480 --> 01:04:35,320 Speaker 2: can think about every day. So thank you. It's difficult 1427 01:04:35,360 --> 01:04:37,360 Speaker 2: not to be hard on myself in this situation, but 1428 01:04:37,520 --> 01:04:39,520 Speaker 2: I do think you are right. I know that he 1429 01:04:39,640 --> 01:04:41,760 Speaker 2: is the one losing here. I just wish my daughter 1430 01:04:41,800 --> 01:04:44,120 Speaker 2: could have the life we both wanted for hers. For 1431 01:04:44,160 --> 01:04:46,760 Speaker 2: so many years, but he decided to ruin it for 1432 01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:49,840 Speaker 2: her nihilistic fish stick. I wanted you to know I 1433 01:04:49,880 --> 01:04:53,040 Speaker 2: read every word. You're a human being and nobody reasonable 1434 01:04:53,080 --> 01:04:55,000 Speaker 2: would expect you to be a robot. I left my 1435 01:04:55,120 --> 01:04:58,680 Speaker 2: relationship of twenty one years almost three years ago, and 1436 01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:00,480 Speaker 2: even though I ended it for my own own mental 1437 01:05:00,480 --> 01:05:03,320 Speaker 2: health and for my kids and have a fantastic partner now, 1438 01:05:03,400 --> 01:05:05,280 Speaker 2: there isn't a day that goes by that I don't 1439 01:05:05,280 --> 01:05:07,880 Speaker 2: get a random thought about him. The conversations we had, 1440 01:05:08,040 --> 01:05:10,880 Speaker 2: our routine, the dinners he cooked, the intimacy we had, 1441 01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:13,120 Speaker 2: all the family videos are still way in the back 1442 01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:15,320 Speaker 2: of my phone's gallery to this day. Your feelings are 1443 01:05:15,360 --> 01:05:17,760 Speaker 2: completely normal and it will get better. I promise you 1444 01:05:17,760 --> 01:05:19,720 Speaker 2: are the main priority at the moment, and you have 1445 01:05:19,800 --> 01:05:22,040 Speaker 2: to keep being strong to get yourself ready to move 1446 01:05:22,080 --> 01:05:24,200 Speaker 2: on and be there for your baby girl. The hard 1447 01:05:24,200 --> 01:05:26,840 Speaker 2: part is over, friend, and you survived it. You got this, 1448 01:05:27,120 --> 01:05:29,760 Speaker 2: OPI says. I hope that one day I will be 1449 01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:32,560 Speaker 2: able to find a fantastic partner who will show my 1450 01:05:32,680 --> 01:05:34,800 Speaker 2: daughter the way a woman is supposed to be treated. 1451 01:05:34,840 --> 01:05:37,000 Speaker 2: I really thought I had that already, or else I 1452 01:05:37,000 --> 01:05:39,640 Speaker 2: wouldn't have pro created with him. Your story gives me hope. 1453 01:05:39,680 --> 01:05:42,440 Speaker 2: I'm in no place to go looking being seven months pregnant, 1454 01:05:42,440 --> 01:05:45,560 Speaker 2: moving and emotionally fed up beyond belief. But maybe one 1455 01:05:45,640 --> 01:05:48,200 Speaker 2: day and by the way, one day could be today, 1456 01:05:48,200 --> 01:05:49,840 Speaker 2: could be tomorrow, could be every day for the rest 1457 01:05:49,840 --> 01:05:53,320 Speaker 2: of your life, for every day, every week, as long 1458 01:05:53,320 --> 01:05:55,560 Speaker 2: as it's a week day. Yeah, you can join us 1459 01:05:55,600 --> 01:05:59,240 Speaker 2: when we go live on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok and Twitch 1460 01:05:59,440 --> 01:06:02,120 Speaker 2: at three p mpst. All you have to do is 1461 01:06:02,160 --> 01:06:04,880 Speaker 2: tap on our profile and you're in the live top ben. 1462 01:06:05,320 --> 01:06:07,400 Speaker 2: If you're watching this in the future, you might even 1463 01:06:07,400 --> 01:06:12,120 Speaker 2: be live right now. Check update ten months later if 1464 01:06:12,120 --> 01:06:14,200 Speaker 2: you don't want to read the whole post. The synopsis 1465 01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:17,200 Speaker 2: is essentially that my husband cheated on me after eight 1466 01:06:17,200 --> 01:06:18,800 Speaker 2: and a half years together while I was twelve weeks 1467 01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:21,600 Speaker 2: pregnant with our first child. That was a great synopsis. Ope. 1468 01:06:22,240 --> 01:06:25,280 Speaker 2: It's now June eleventh and my daughter just turned eight 1469 01:06:25,360 --> 01:06:28,160 Speaker 2: months old. My water broke and I drove myself to 1470 01:06:28,200 --> 01:06:31,040 Speaker 2: the hospital and then labored and gave birth alone. Who 1471 01:06:31,600 --> 01:06:34,560 Speaker 2: My daughter was born two weeks early only, and she 1472 01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:38,880 Speaker 2: was completely healthy and had no issues. She's doing amazing 1473 01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:41,120 Speaker 2: and the love I have for her is so all 1474 01:06:41,240 --> 01:06:43,880 Speaker 2: encompassing that sometimes I don't even know what to do. 1475 01:06:44,040 --> 01:06:46,800 Speaker 2: She is a great baby and is so loved by 1476 01:06:46,880 --> 01:06:49,720 Speaker 2: not just myself, but my dad, my brothers, my aunt. 1477 01:06:49,800 --> 01:06:52,120 Speaker 2: She's adored by my whole family, and because we lived 1478 01:06:52,120 --> 01:06:54,080 Speaker 2: with my dad, her birth has brought all of us 1479 01:06:54,080 --> 01:06:57,280 Speaker 2: closer together than we've been in a long long time. 1480 01:06:57,400 --> 01:07:00,880 Speaker 2: I absolutely love being her mom. My ex husband was 1481 01:07:01,000 --> 01:07:04,560 Speaker 2: served divorce papers in February by my dad, who volunteered 1482 01:07:04,600 --> 01:07:06,480 Speaker 2: to be the one to do it, and our divorce 1483 01:07:06,560 --> 01:07:09,360 Speaker 2: was finalized in May. The way that my feelings for 1484 01:07:09,480 --> 01:07:12,080 Speaker 2: him changed almost in an instant after I had given 1485 01:07:12,120 --> 01:07:14,160 Speaker 2: birth to my daughter was shocking. But it was like, 1486 01:07:14,200 --> 01:07:16,240 Speaker 2: as soon as she was born, just the thought of 1487 01:07:16,280 --> 01:07:18,480 Speaker 2: this man disgusted and no. 1488 01:07:18,600 --> 01:07:21,880 Speaker 3: And sometimes there is that weird switch where, like you 1489 01:07:21,880 --> 01:07:24,200 Speaker 3: find out information or something like this happens where you'd 1490 01:07:24,240 --> 01:07:25,880 Speaker 3: give birth to a child and you're like, oh, I 1491 01:07:25,920 --> 01:07:28,400 Speaker 3: actually hate that man, Yeah, I actually hate that person. 1492 01:07:28,440 --> 01:07:30,360 Speaker 3: I don't know why I was so hung up over them. 1493 01:07:30,520 --> 01:07:35,280 Speaker 2: Psychological switch flipped. He visits for about an hour a week, 1494 01:07:35,600 --> 01:07:38,680 Speaker 2: once a week, and has done that since she's been bored. 1495 01:07:38,720 --> 01:07:40,800 Speaker 2: We have a parenting plan in the works, but every 1496 01:07:40,800 --> 01:07:42,720 Speaker 2: time it's drawn up by my lawyer, he finds something 1497 01:07:42,800 --> 01:07:44,760 Speaker 2: else that's wrong with it and chooses not to sign. 1498 01:07:44,880 --> 01:07:47,080 Speaker 2: It's been very irritating having to deal with this man 1499 01:07:47,120 --> 01:07:49,439 Speaker 2: who I once loved and now don't recognize, and watch 1500 01:07:49,520 --> 01:07:52,000 Speaker 2: as he pretends on social media that he is an active, 1501 01:07:52,080 --> 01:07:54,800 Speaker 2: attentive father when I've done quite literally everything for this 1502 01:07:54,920 --> 01:07:57,280 Speaker 2: baby and he does the barest minimum he can get 1503 01:07:57,280 --> 01:07:59,520 Speaker 2: away with. The next part may be very shocking, but 1504 01:07:59,560 --> 01:08:01,720 Speaker 2: the girl he cheated on me with and moved into 1505 01:08:01,760 --> 01:08:03,880 Speaker 2: an apartment with directly from our marital home, ended up 1506 01:08:03,960 --> 01:08:06,680 Speaker 2: cheating on him literally within the same week that our 1507 01:08:06,720 --> 01:08:09,280 Speaker 2: divorce finalized. It took about a year, but he did 1508 01:08:09,360 --> 01:08:14,160 Speaker 2: come back groveling after all, which was absolutely wild to me. 1509 01:08:14,480 --> 01:08:17,280 Speaker 2: Now for the actual shocking part of this update. 1510 01:08:17,080 --> 01:08:18,599 Speaker 4: I have met a man. 1511 01:08:21,920 --> 01:08:27,719 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, get the After spending my entire pregnancy alone 1512 01:08:27,760 --> 01:08:30,800 Speaker 2: and heartbroken, I had sworn off men in relationships, and 1513 01:08:30,880 --> 01:08:33,960 Speaker 2: then this one just kind of appeared in my life. 1514 01:08:34,000 --> 01:08:37,080 Speaker 2: I have horrible trust issues now, and it's been really 1515 01:08:37,080 --> 01:08:39,600 Speaker 2: really hard considering the deep betrayal that happened to me 1516 01:08:39,720 --> 01:08:42,240 Speaker 2: last year. But my boyfriend is the most gentle, calm, 1517 01:08:42,360 --> 01:08:45,200 Speaker 2: understanding guy I could have found. We met when my 1518 01:08:45,280 --> 01:08:47,280 Speaker 2: daughter was two months old, and he started taking me 1519 01:08:47,320 --> 01:08:49,559 Speaker 2: on little weekend dates for just a couple hours at 1520 01:08:49,560 --> 01:08:51,800 Speaker 2: a time, and was always very considerate of me having 1521 01:08:51,840 --> 01:08:54,439 Speaker 2: a newborn, which he reassured me several times over that 1522 01:08:54,560 --> 01:08:57,080 Speaker 2: was not an issue and he actually has experience working 1523 01:08:57,080 --> 01:08:58,800 Speaker 2: with kids in the past. And then in March we 1524 01:08:58,880 --> 01:09:02,400 Speaker 2: had the conversation and find the relationship. In these past 1525 01:09:02,479 --> 01:09:05,240 Speaker 2: six months, he has met my family and has become 1526 01:09:05,280 --> 01:09:07,080 Speaker 2: one of my daughter's favorite people. 1527 01:09:07,320 --> 01:09:10,280 Speaker 4: Yay. Oh, I'm so happy. What a positive twist to 1528 01:09:10,320 --> 01:09:11,280 Speaker 4: this story it is. 1529 01:09:11,400 --> 01:09:13,240 Speaker 2: I was like, is this gonna be the first story 1530 01:09:13,280 --> 01:09:14,880 Speaker 2: where we're like, ah, it's not a good one. No, 1531 01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:18,720 Speaker 2: we have like all good bangers for stories. Today, I've 1532 01:09:18,720 --> 01:09:21,120 Speaker 2: met his brother and sister in law, and when his 1533 01:09:21,200 --> 01:09:23,760 Speaker 2: parents come into town later this month, he's introducing me 1534 01:09:24,040 --> 01:09:26,320 Speaker 2: and we're all getting dinner together. I feel lucky to 1535 01:09:26,360 --> 01:09:28,240 Speaker 2: have this man in my life and a stable father 1536 01:09:28,320 --> 01:09:30,640 Speaker 2: figure for my daughter, and I'm really hoping he is 1537 01:09:30,880 --> 01:09:33,599 Speaker 2: actually who he's been showing me he is. Obviously, when 1538 01:09:33,640 --> 01:09:36,080 Speaker 2: my ex husband came to apologize and cry for what 1539 01:09:36,160 --> 01:09:38,080 Speaker 2: he'd done to me. I was already very locked in 1540 01:09:38,160 --> 01:09:39,960 Speaker 2: with my boyfriend. But even if I hadn't been, the 1541 01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:43,600 Speaker 2: answer would have been a big n oh. 1542 01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:44,240 Speaker 4: Because you did the work. 1543 01:09:44,439 --> 01:09:46,920 Speaker 3: You did the self work to get over this man, 1544 01:09:47,000 --> 01:09:49,080 Speaker 3: and you know, sort out your own life and your 1545 01:09:49,080 --> 01:09:51,360 Speaker 3: own you know, self love journey, and I. 1546 01:09:51,320 --> 01:09:53,559 Speaker 2: Don't need them. Our house has not sold yet, and 1547 01:09:53,600 --> 01:09:55,800 Speaker 2: I'm kind of losing my mind about that, but there's 1548 01:09:55,840 --> 01:09:57,880 Speaker 2: nothing to really be done to help that matter. I 1549 01:09:57,920 --> 01:10:00,960 Speaker 2: know this may sound like revenge corn on the cob, 1550 01:10:01,040 --> 01:10:03,519 Speaker 2: but I promise it's not. Karma has just been working 1551 01:10:03,560 --> 01:10:06,360 Speaker 2: hard for me and my little bean. My boyfriend dotes 1552 01:10:06,360 --> 01:10:08,479 Speaker 2: on us and makes me believe in love again. He's 1553 01:10:08,520 --> 01:10:11,240 Speaker 2: so handsome and so sweet and the complete opposite of 1554 01:10:11,280 --> 01:10:14,040 Speaker 2: who my ex husband ended up being. I am really 1555 01:10:14,080 --> 01:10:16,920 Speaker 2: hoping he's a good egg because I accidentally fell in 1556 01:10:16,960 --> 01:10:19,080 Speaker 2: love with him when I didn't mean to. But I 1557 01:10:19,120 --> 01:10:20,920 Speaker 2: do now know that I was strong enough to leave 1558 01:10:20,920 --> 01:10:22,760 Speaker 2: a marriage with a baby on the way, So if 1559 01:10:22,760 --> 01:10:24,760 Speaker 2: he does end up scroomy over I, now I'll be 1560 01:10:25,040 --> 01:10:28,679 Speaker 2: strong enough to leave him too. You don't need a man, Nope, 1561 01:10:28,840 --> 01:10:29,599 Speaker 2: don't need no man. 1562 01:10:29,720 --> 01:10:30,439 Speaker 4: You don't need a man. 1563 01:10:30,520 --> 01:10:32,639 Speaker 2: The fact that my ex is a fair partner cheated 1564 01:10:32,640 --> 01:10:35,720 Speaker 2: on him absolutely tickles me, to be completely honest. I'm 1565 01:10:35,760 --> 01:10:38,080 Speaker 2: still living with my dad and two dogs and a 1566 01:10:38,120 --> 01:10:41,439 Speaker 2: cat that he abandoned me with during my pregnancy, but honestly, 1567 01:10:41,520 --> 01:10:44,639 Speaker 2: it could absolutely be worse. My dad helps as much 1568 01:10:44,640 --> 01:10:46,840 Speaker 2: as he can and loves his grandbaby so much, and 1569 01:10:46,880 --> 01:10:49,960 Speaker 2: it's been so sweet watching him turn into this absolute 1570 01:10:50,200 --> 01:10:52,919 Speaker 2: softy of a grandpa. I don't know if anyone remembers 1571 01:10:52,960 --> 01:10:55,320 Speaker 2: me or my post, or if this update is necessary 1572 01:10:55,360 --> 01:10:57,800 Speaker 2: at all, but here it is. I am big time 1573 01:10:57,960 --> 01:11:00,240 Speaker 2: not in love with a guy who cheated on me 1574 01:11:00,240 --> 01:11:02,479 Speaker 2: me and is an absent father to the baby I 1575 01:11:02,560 --> 01:11:04,479 Speaker 2: grew all on my own and raise all on my 1576 01:11:04,520 --> 01:11:07,639 Speaker 2: own TLDR. I'm a single mother with a gorgeous baby girl, 1577 01:11:07,640 --> 01:11:09,920 Speaker 2: and we're both doing really really well while I watch 1578 01:11:09,960 --> 01:11:14,040 Speaker 2: my cheating ex husband's life slowly crumble into pieces. Zah, 1579 01:11:14,400 --> 01:11:16,400 Speaker 2: I love it. Yes, you have to see it, and 1580 01:11:16,439 --> 01:11:17,360 Speaker 2: we do have some comments. 1581 01:11:17,479 --> 01:11:18,120 Speaker 4: That's freedom. 1582 01:11:18,280 --> 01:11:21,559 Speaker 2: Libby's mom says, yay, you not only landed on your feet, 1583 01:11:21,560 --> 01:11:23,240 Speaker 2: but he got a taste of his own medicine. A 1584 01:11:23,280 --> 01:11:27,439 Speaker 2: truly satisfying update. Ben Zoma says, it's not irony when 1585 01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:29,880 Speaker 2: if they cheated with you, they'll cheat on you comes 1586 01:11:29,880 --> 01:11:34,519 Speaker 2: to pass, but it sure is hilarious and satisfying to see. Congrats, Ope, 1587 01:11:34,800 --> 01:11:37,760 Speaker 2: keep on living your best life, and some mowers says, 1588 01:11:37,920 --> 01:11:40,600 Speaker 2: good job you survived. It's all gravy from now on. 1589 01:11:40,760 --> 01:11:43,479 Speaker 2: He pretends on social media that he's an active, attentive father. 1590 01:11:43,600 --> 01:11:45,800 Speaker 2: Can you get some relative to be on watch out 1591 01:11:45,840 --> 01:11:48,080 Speaker 2: and shoot him down every time he still hasn't even 1592 01:11:48,120 --> 01:11:50,639 Speaker 2: signed a parenting plan or sold the house. Good luck, 1593 01:11:50,800 --> 01:11:53,679 Speaker 2: you can do this. I believe in you. And that 1594 01:11:54,200 --> 01:11:56,439 Speaker 2: is the end of that story. 1595 01:11:56,640 --> 01:11:56,920 Speaker 4: Wealth. 1596 01:11:57,400 --> 01:12:00,679 Speaker 2: Okay, I can see that my mind's eye right now. 1597 01:12:00,920 --> 01:12:05,120 Speaker 2: Oh wow, that guy's hot. Dang, that guy was so 1598 01:12:05,200 --> 01:12:05,840 Speaker 2: hot that one