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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness, what are you in

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Speaker 1: Irish washing? No, actually, it's oh my goodness. Is a

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Speaker 1: sound effect that I have in the library somewhere. If

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Speaker 1: I need an elderly woman to sound shocked, then you hear,

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Speaker 1: oh my goodness. There it is. There, it is, Isn't

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Speaker 1: it great? I don't get to use it that often,

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Speaker 1: but I try to every chance. I guess, well, this

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Speaker 1: is exciting. If you are seeing this, that means you're

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Speaker 1: catching us on video for the first time. I don't

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Speaker 1: remember where to look. Han't even has forgotten what a

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Speaker 1: camera even looks like. We've been so long since we've

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Speaker 1: been on camera. Welcome to the Particulous Rommance on video.

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Speaker 1: We're hoping to be putting out some nice clips to

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Speaker 1: this show this year, maybe even full episodes. We'll see

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Speaker 1: what happens. No promises, no promises, We are just experimenting. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we have a crazy story today that I'm very excited

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Speaker 1: about because it was just full of I mean just full.

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Speaker 1: It was just full. And what better episode to start

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Speaker 1: our video with. I think our faces will tell a

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Speaker 1: tale of their own as we go through this, because

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Speaker 1: today we're talking about Ferdinand the seventh who was the

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Speaker 1: King of Spain, and he had a big, old weird

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Speaker 1: dick and everyone knew it. Uh. I mean, normally this

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Speaker 1: wouldn't really matter about somebody. It would just be like

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Speaker 1: a just for fun footnote in his life story. And

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Speaker 1: sizes exactly sure, you know some some people have small ones,

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Speaker 1: some of the big ones, and girthie and so on

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Speaker 1: and so forth, and doesn't really matter. No, But in

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Speaker 1: Ferdinand's case, his dick caused a succession problem and eventually

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Speaker 1: that would change the course of Spanish history when Ferdinand,

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Speaker 1: lacking a male heir, had to allow his daughter to

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Speaker 1: inherit the throne. So kind of an important dick in history. Surprisingly,

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Speaker 1: So let's hear about Ferdinand the seventh weird dick and

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Speaker 1: the four Maria's who had to deal with it. All right,

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Speaker 1: let's go, hey the French comlution. Well, Elia and Diana

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Speaker 1: got some stories to tell. There's no matchmaking a romantic tips.

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Speaker 1: It's just about ridiculous relationships. I love. It might be

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Speaker 1: any type of person at all, and abstract cons are

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Speaker 1: a concrete wall. But if there's a story with the

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Speaker 1: second clinch, ridiculous rolenance a production of I heart radio. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I want to start with like just a real quick

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Speaker 1: rundown on Ferdinand the seventh um, so we can just

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Speaker 1: enjoy the wife stories and not have to get into

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Speaker 1: all the politics the whole way through. He was heir

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Speaker 1: to the throne of Spain in the early nineteenth century.

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Speaker 1: He forced his father to abdicate to him and reigned

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Speaker 1: for a few months in eighteen o eight, but then

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Speaker 1: was himself forced to abdicate by Napoleon Bonaparte. That that

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Speaker 1: old hound dog. He imprisoned Ferdinand and his family in

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Speaker 1: France and put his older brother, Joseph Bonaparte on the throne. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so that's like three kings in a month exactly. The

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Speaker 1: Spanish people were just like, okay, who's on the money now,

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Speaker 1: or like, what's going on? I just finished signing my checks,

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Speaker 1: King Ferdinand, and now I gotta switch at the Napoleon.

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Speaker 1: So but by eighteen thirteen, Napoleon had suffered quite a

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Speaker 1: lot of setbacks, and he decided to recognize Ferdinand as

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Speaker 1: the King of Spain. But Ferdinand realized Spain was a

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Speaker 1: little different than when he had left. Joseph Bonaparte had

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Speaker 1: instituted a liberal constitution and changed the whole situation into

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Speaker 1: kind of a constitutional monarchy instead of a traditional absolute monarchy,

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Speaker 1: and so Ferdinand kind of had to promise the Spanish

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Speaker 1: liberals that he would uphold that constitution as king before

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Speaker 1: they would take him back. So he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure,

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Speaker 1: thank guys, absolutely whatever you say. Yeah, whole new constitution.

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Speaker 1: Love it. Can't wait to be king under all these

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Speaker 1: new rules you set while I was gone. Exact gives gives,

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Speaker 1: gives me less power, delightful, I'm totally into it. Booms

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Speaker 1: amongst us would not take this deal, so his people

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Speaker 1: called him Ferdinand the Desired, and he came back to

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Speaker 1: Spain with great finds there and popularity and everyone's into ing.

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Speaker 1: But once he was re established, he said forget about

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Speaker 1: all that and completely restored absolute monarchy, never gave the

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Speaker 1: Spanish people a parliament. They discovered also that he had,

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Speaker 1: according to ABC Espana quote, a tacky and vengeful character,

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Speaker 1: and so after that they started calling him the Felon King.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, you went from Ferdinand the Desired to the

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Speaker 1: Felon King like kind of fast. Well, he spent his

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Speaker 1: reign doing some pretty terrible things, including bringing back something

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Speaker 1: I never expected the Spanish inquisition. They have to, you

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Speaker 1: have to. He would also squash liberal revolt. He clamped

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Speaker 1: down on the free press. He jailed a lot of

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Speaker 1: writers and publishers. He even arrested liberal ministers himself, which

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Speaker 1: made the Austrian diplomat Friedrich von Gentz right that he

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Speaker 1: quote had so debased himself that he has become no

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Speaker 1: more than the leading police agent and the prison warden

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Speaker 1: of his own country. In eighteen twenty, another liberal insurrection

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Speaker 1: forced him to restore the liberal constitution that he had

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Speaker 1: spurned so quickly when he became king. But ironically, Ferdinand

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Speaker 1: turned to France for help, and King Louis the eighteenth

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Speaker 1: sent troops to suppress this revolution, which obviously, of course

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Speaker 1: France had just locked him up. So I mean strange

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Speaker 1: bedfellows girls. Sigro p Roussier writes in an article on

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Speaker 1: publications dot com that Ferdinand even ordered that only French

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Speaker 1: troops could be his bodyguards because he suspected all the

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Speaker 1: Spanish soldiers of having liberal sympathies. Gills writes quote as

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Speaker 1: a paradox, some were former grunts of Napoleon and had

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Speaker 1: fought him ten years before. Thus, thanks to the help

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Speaker 1: of the French, whom he had hated so much, his

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Speaker 1: power was firmly established. The last part of his reign

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Speaker 1: is known as the Ominous Decade, when he really brought

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Speaker 1: back absolutism. Spain during his reign lost pretty much all

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Speaker 1: of its territories in South America of course, Mexico we

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Speaker 1: have talked before in our Maxi in Carlotta episode. They

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Speaker 1: won their independence in one. So sorry, Spain, you lost out.

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Speaker 1: Many historians consider him to be shortsighted and despotic, and

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Speaker 1: some articles simply call him the worst King of Spain ever.

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Speaker 1: But even though he lived through this period of like

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Speaker 1: really intense political turmoil, there's multiple wars going on, from

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Speaker 1: the Peninsular War to the wars in America of eighteen twelve,

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Speaker 1: Bonapartes and Bourbons running all around and conspiring and conspire, chaos,

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Speaker 1: all kinds of stuff happening. It's still his romantic life

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Speaker 1: that really kind of defines Ferdinand. He was married four times.

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Speaker 1: All his wives were named Maria, and all of them

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Speaker 1: kind of hated him and his weird dick. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: who's what episode was it before where everyone in Spain

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Speaker 1: had the same name. Yes, it was the Royal mistress Mayhem.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, Peter of Castile, like Peter in Portugal. Right,

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Speaker 1: they were both Peter the first Yes, and then like

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Speaker 1: both their wives were Isabelle or something. It was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, forget them, focus on Ferdinand and his

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Speaker 1: four Maria's for this one. And there's more Maria's than

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Speaker 1: just them. Everyone is named Maria. Got to it. What's

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Speaker 1: the problem with Maria everyone's name? How do you solve

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Speaker 1: a problem like everyone being named Maria? Okay, all right,

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Speaker 1: we keep talking about this weird dick. So what is

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Speaker 1: the deal with this thing? First of all, it was

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Speaker 1: a very big dick, which today it's not necessarily something

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Speaker 1: people a dislike, but at the time, ancient Greece was

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Speaker 1: still seen as like the pinnacle of humanity, and that

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Speaker 1: meant that big dicks were kind of unappreciated. True intellectual

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Speaker 1: and moral leaders had a nice, polite, small, manageable penises. Polite,

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Speaker 1: that's right, deferential, respectful. I'm not trying to steal the

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Speaker 1: spotlight or get in anyone's way. The brain is important.

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Speaker 1: I'm just down here to do one little job. There's

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Speaker 1: a little perfunctory penis right, okay, but it's not just

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Speaker 1: the size that makes Ferdinand's dick so unusual. In the

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Speaker 1: words of the famous French historian Prosper Maramy, it was

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Speaker 1: quote as thin as a stick of ceiling wax at

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Speaker 1: its base and thick as a fist at its extremity.

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Speaker 1: Also as long as a billiard cue. So it's like

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Speaker 1: tapers out. I'm seeing like a like an upside down metronome.

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Speaker 1: And also because he says this, it makes me feel

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Speaker 1: like it's kind of like weird mushroom dick. Right when

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Speaker 1: you the Here's I'm gonna tell you a story. It's

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Speaker 1: the only good thing I ever heard Adam Carolla say.

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Speaker 1: And it was back when on Love Line they made

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Speaker 1: some gross reference to a food in in reference to

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Speaker 1: sex organ or a discharge or something, and Adam Corolla said,

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Speaker 1: stopped that when you make it a food, I have

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Speaker 1: to eat it. And that's how I feel about what

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Speaker 1: you just said. I mean, mushrooms are already gross. Well,

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Speaker 1: who's going to eat the mushrooms off your plate? Next time?

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Speaker 1: You're gonna be stuck with unbelievably all right, let's get

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Speaker 1: off of this mushroom dick. That's what all the wives said. Now,

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Speaker 1: apparently either the king himself or perhaps one of his wives,

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Speaker 1: developed a special cushion that was made to allow them

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Speaker 1: to have sex more easily. The website The Making of

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Speaker 1: Madrid dot com says it's supported the narrow base quote,

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Speaker 1: leaving only the bulbous tips bobbing around for his poor

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Speaker 1: mate to straddle evocative. It's evocative. The same website also

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Speaker 1: calls him quote a guy with a massive dick who

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Speaker 1: was a massive chick. This cushion has been described as

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Speaker 1: like thick pads with a perforation in the middle for

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Speaker 1: his dick to come through, like some kind of weird

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Speaker 1: sex donut. Okay, people, you know what, people like all

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Speaker 1: kinds of things people like, and people have to do

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Speaker 1: different people have to do different things in order to

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Speaker 1: comfortably have sex. And that's very true. And you know what,

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Speaker 1: it's not his fault that he was born with a

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Speaker 1: strange penis. It just seems like something that would be

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Speaker 1: painful to have sex with, possibly possibly possibly and certainly

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Speaker 1: disconcerting if that was your only experience with a penis,

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Speaker 1: and like many of these women to discuss. And again,

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Speaker 1: on top of that, he's a bad person. Yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 1: like he's kind of super nice. There has been a

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Speaker 1: lot of conversation lately about, you know, if it's body

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Speaker 1: shaming to call someone small dick or say something weird

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Speaker 1: about their penis or something like that, and I think

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Speaker 1: to some degree there is, but also you want to

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Speaker 1: cut that person deep, especially these hyper masculine dudes. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that are all about their their dick energy. Well, then

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Speaker 1: that's what I'm going to come for, right, It's where

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Speaker 1: I can hit you weird hurts. Okay. So, now that

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Speaker 1: we have a nice, clear, maybe too clear, a picture

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Speaker 1: of what exactly these four Maria's had to deal with, um,

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Speaker 1: let's find out about them. So Maria number one was

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Speaker 1: Ferdinand's first cousin, Maria Antonia of Naples and Sicily. She

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Speaker 1: was the daughter of King Ferdinand of Italy and his

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Speaker 1: Austrian wife Maria Carolina, and she married Ferdinand the seventh

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Speaker 1: and eighteen o two when he was still just the

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Speaker 1: Prince of Asturias and not yet the King of Spain.

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Speaker 1: He's still prints at this point. They're just trying to

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Speaker 1: get his future worked out, to get married off to

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Speaker 1: your cousin, and he's not even the king yet. I know, right,

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Speaker 1: but they're like, you got one job carry and that's

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Speaker 1: too Mary, cousin, spread your steed amongst a very select people.

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Speaker 1: Keep it in the family, of course, was the motto

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Speaker 1: back then. This family tree is really just a shrub,

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Speaker 1: and you will see that more and more as we

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Speaker 1: go through. It's like those Banyan trees that are really

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Speaker 1: just the same tree, you know, all growing down into

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Speaker 1: the ground, just one giant organism. That makes sense. It

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Speaker 1: makes sense. That makes it sound cooler than a shrub.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it shouldn't sound cool. That's why I kind of

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Speaker 1: like it, but I get I get ever saying all right.

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Speaker 1: Maria Antonia is described in The Duchess of a Brontese

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Speaker 1: Memoirs as being a little serious, with a majestic air.

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Speaker 1: But when she smiled quote, her whole face lit up sweetly.

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Speaker 1: But she wasn't excited about her cousinly groom Um. National

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Speaker 1: World News in Spain writes that when she first saw

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Speaker 1: him in person, she was upset by how little he

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Speaker 1: resembled the portrait she'd seen of him, saying, quote, in

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Speaker 1: the picture he looked ugly well compared to the original.

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Speaker 1: It's an adonist out Wow, that's I mean, pretty ice cold. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's still true today. I mean you see someone's profile

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Speaker 1: picture and they look a little different in real life.

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Speaker 1: You can't really complain obviously. Yeah, that's not not just

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Speaker 1: a modern problem. I always wonder that about portraits about

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Speaker 1: royals because I'm like, how hard to be the painter

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Speaker 1: where you're like, I'm supposed to make this look like you,

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Speaker 1: but like also maybe your idealized version of who you

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Speaker 1: think you are and what you think you look like,

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Speaker 1: like a reverse caricature artist. Yes, let me shrink your

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Speaker 1: forehead down. Well, it wasn't just Prince Ferdinand's looks. He

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Speaker 1: also did not treat Maria with a lot of respect. Also,

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Speaker 1: apparently it took quite a while to introduce her to

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Speaker 1: his weird metronome dick. Maria Antonia's mother, Maria Carolina, was

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Speaker 1: in close contact with her daughter, and she wrote in

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Speaker 1: her diary, quote, my daughter is desperate. Her husband is

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Speaker 1: a complete idiot, not even a physical husband, and moreover,

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Speaker 1: a rowdy who does nothing and doesn't leave his room.

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Speaker 1: A few days later, she bemoans that he quote is

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Speaker 1: a fool who neither hunts nor fishes. He does not

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Speaker 1: move to the room of his unhappy wife. He cares nothing.

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Speaker 1: He is not even her husband in animal form. Wow,

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Speaker 1: She's like, I don't even care if like, you're not

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Speaker 1: a nice husband, but you won't even have sex with her?

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Speaker 1: Right and how weird? Like imagine the correspondence between Maria

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Speaker 1: Antonia and her mother being like, damn um today, still

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Speaker 1: not fucked. I don't know what it is. So anyway,

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Speaker 1: love your daughter. And then a year after the wedding,

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Speaker 1: her mother wrote in a letter quote, the husband is

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Speaker 1: not yet a husband and does not seem to have

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Speaker 1: the desire or ability, which worries me greatly. Now this

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Speaker 1: apparently was just a problem that he only had with

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Speaker 1: Maria Antonia because he was well known to enjoy the

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Speaker 1: company of prostitutes. National World News says that the Marquis

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Speaker 1: of via Urutia wrote that Ferdinand quote did not like

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Speaker 1: to spend time with the ladies of his court, preferring

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Speaker 1: to go out and disguise at night in the company

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Speaker 1: of the Duke of Algon, to engage in some games

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Speaker 1: outside the palace, which Muslims practiced within the harem. The

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Speaker 1: hell does that mean? I don't I was like, I

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Speaker 1: mean some of them just like folded clothes and ship

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Speaker 1: like the harem is so misunderstood. Sounds a little racist, yeah, exactly. Um,

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Speaker 1: but that's not all that poor Maria Antonia had to

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Speaker 1: deal with because her mother, Maria Carolina, when she wasn't

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Speaker 1: complaining about Ferdinand, was complaining about the French. Maria Carolina

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Speaker 1: had named Maria Antonia for her favorite sister, Marie Antoinette,

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Speaker 1: and we all know what happened to her. After the

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Speaker 1: French revolted and chopped her head off. Maria Carolina decided

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Speaker 1: she didn't care for the French that was my sister, exactly,

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Speaker 1: got a little piste off, and rumors started to spread

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Speaker 1: that Maria Carolina was encouraging her daughter to poison the

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Speaker 1: Queen of Spain, who was descended from the French, as

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Speaker 1: well as her prime minister and probably lover, Manuel good Doy.

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Speaker 1: Now these were just rumors and highly unlikely to be

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Speaker 1: true because these Maria's Carolina and her daughter Antonia, they

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Speaker 1: were very devout Catholics, so it's unlikely that they would go,

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Speaker 1: you know, murder regent because God chose the regents and

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Speaker 1: all that stuff. Yeah, and it's not like Spain's ties

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Speaker 1: to France for any greater than anyone else's. So what

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Speaker 1: would be the point of killing the Queen of Spain.

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Speaker 1: But this queen that they were supposedly trying to poison.

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Speaker 1: Maria Luisa did not like Maria Antonia, who was her

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Speaker 1: daughter in law, so she decided that she would feed

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Speaker 1: these rumors. She would inspect Maria Antonia's papers and belongings

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Speaker 1: to search for evidence. Stuff like that. Just be like,

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure we need to keep a close eye

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Speaker 1: on my daughter in law because she and her mother

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Speaker 1: are trying to poison me. Can't trust her. So this

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Speaker 1: lent credence to the rumors and just kind of made

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Speaker 1: Maria Antonia's life even more uncomfortable, which it must have

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Speaker 1: gotten because eventually Ferdinand did make it to her bed

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Speaker 1: to consummate their marriage. Maria Antonia was pregnant twice, but

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Speaker 1: both ended in miscarriages. In eighteen oh six, Maria Antonia

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Speaker 1: succumbed to tuberculosis and she died at the age of

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Speaker 1: twenty one. Rumors exploded again, of course, that she had

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Speaker 1: actually been poisoned by her mother in law, The Queen

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Speaker 1: Maria Luisa end her Prime Minister Manuel Goodoy the very

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Speaker 1: people they had been accused of trying to poison. Prime

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Speaker 1: Minister Goodoy was not only having an affair with the queen,

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Speaker 1: but he was like best buds with the current heir

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Speaker 1: to the throne, Ferdinand's little brother, Carlos the Fourth. Maria Carolina,

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Speaker 1: Maria Antonia's real mother, believed these rumors, but there is

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Speaker 1: no evidence to back them up. And people really did

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Speaker 1: love poisoning rumors back then, so you know, we can

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Speaker 1: probably dismiss that one too. She died of tuberculosis, Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 1: She she had a very bad disease. So, right, poison

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Speaker 1: is not required, right, right, right. But I think one

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Speaker 1: of the main things to take away from that is

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Speaker 1: that there is Carlos the Fourth who's in line for

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Speaker 1: the throne. If Ferdinand does not produce an air, that's right, right,

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Speaker 1: So if he doesn't have a son, then his little brother,

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Speaker 1: Carlos is going to end up king. If Ferdinand, you know,

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Speaker 1: should come to the worst, if the worst should happen,

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Speaker 1: or the best, depending on your point of Ferdinand. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it depends on your opinion of Ferdinand. So Maria Antonio

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Speaker 1: was dead, and this was a problem because Ferdinand, you know,

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Speaker 1: didn't have his own air to carry on the succession,

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Speaker 1: but eventually he was King of Spain and he's like,

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Speaker 1: I want this absolute monarchy, and so that meant it

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Speaker 1: was really important to get working on a baby again.

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Speaker 1: And that brings us to Maria number two, and we

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Speaker 1: will hear all about her right after this commercial break.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to the show, everybody. So, Maria number two

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Speaker 1: was Ferdinand's niece, Maria Isabel in fronta of Portugal. Maria

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Speaker 1: Isabel's mother, Carlotta of Spain, was Ferdinand's sister. She had

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Speaker 1: married King John the sixth of Portugal, but they had

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Speaker 1: a very unhappy marriage. Carlotta made John's life basically hell

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Speaker 1: on earth because she was constantly conspiring against him, either

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Speaker 1: to advance her own interests or to who advanced the

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Speaker 1: interests of her native Spain over Portugal, where she now

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Speaker 1: lived and ruled. She even tried to have John deemed

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Speaker 1: insane and unfit to rule. So just a chaotic household

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Speaker 1: for Maria Isabel to grow up in. But Maria Isabel

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Speaker 1: was smart. She was a well educated woman. She knew

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Speaker 1: several languages, and she and King Ferdinand married in eighteen sixteen,

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Speaker 1: when she was nineteen years old and he was thirty two. Now.

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Speaker 1: He took less time to get to her bedroom than

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Speaker 1: he had with his first wife, Maria, and she got

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Speaker 1: pregnant pretty quickly, giving birth to a baby girl, but

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Speaker 1: she sadly died only four to five months after being born.

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Speaker 1: Maria Isabel got pregnant again in eighteen eighteen, but this

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Speaker 1: delivery turned really tragic. The baby was in breach, which

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Speaker 1: means that it was being born bottom first rather than

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Speaker 1: head first, which makes the delivery much riskier. At one point,

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Speaker 1: doctors thought that Maria Isabel had died she wasn't breathing,

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Speaker 1: but her sister Maria Francisca, who was married to Ferdinand's

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Speaker 1: brother Carlos. Again, this tree is a shrub. She kept

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Speaker 1: insisting that her sister was still alive, but Ferdinand and

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Speaker 1: the doctors didn't believe her, and Ferdinand ordered them to

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Speaker 1: perform a Cesarean section to remove the baby. Halfway through

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Speaker 1: the operation, Maria Isabel woke up screaming from the pain

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Speaker 1: and bleeding profusely. Fernando Gonzalez Doria, in his book Las

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Speaker 1: Arenas wrote, quote, the mother gave such a cry that

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Speaker 1: she was not dead yet as the doctors believed, which

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Speaker 1: made it a dreadful butchery. God, this is this was

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Speaker 1: literally like the House of the Dragon. Yeah, it was

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Speaker 1: this exact story kicked off that show exactly the same.

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Speaker 1: I know, I was like the same. The Game of

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Speaker 1: Thrones period must have been hot, highly up in Spanish snobility. Sure,

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Speaker 1: George R. Martin traveled forward in time, listened to our

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Speaker 1: show and then went back and wrote Game of Thrones

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Speaker 1: and all of its as Larry material based on these

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Speaker 1: stories that we're telling. You're welcome, George, so very sadly,

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Speaker 1: Maria Isabel died a few hours later in great pain,

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Speaker 1: and it wasn't even worth it, really because the baby

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Speaker 1: also had died before they even were cutting it out,

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Speaker 1: so killed or really for no reason. But she had

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Speaker 1: used her time as queen very wisely. She was a

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Speaker 1: huge fan of the fine arts, and she started collecting

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Speaker 1: paintings and sculpture to open a national museum, and this

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Speaker 1: museum would become the Prado Museum in Madrid, which is

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Speaker 1: considered to be one of the finest museums in Europe

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Speaker 1: and basically the only good part of Ferdinand's legacy. But

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Speaker 1: fortunately Maria Isabel's posthumous portrait by Bernardo Lopez Picure clearly

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Speaker 1: names her as the founder of the museum, so she

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Speaker 1: gets all her due credit, even though it's part of

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Speaker 1: his legacy. Right Still, like we almost died that. So

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Speaker 1: now Ferdinand is thirty five years old and he's twice widowed.

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Speaker 1: Still he has no heirs, and that brings us to

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Speaker 1: Maria number three, Maria josepha Amalia of Saxony. Yes, for

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Speaker 1: once Ferdinand found a bride that was not directly related

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Speaker 1: to him. Hooray, really really accomplished something special there, Ferdinand,

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Speaker 1: you did it. Now. Her father, the crown Prince Maximilian

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Speaker 1: of Saxony, knew that Ferdinand was looking for a fertile,

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Speaker 1: young bride, and he suggests that his younger daughter could

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Speaker 1: be the answer to his problems. She was sixteen years old,

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Speaker 1: and after her mother died when she was only a

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Speaker 1: few months old, she had been sent to a convent

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Speaker 1: to be raised by nuts. So this girl was naive

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Speaker 1: and shy and very sweet and very very religious. Ferdinand

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Speaker 1: met her and he was quote and thralled by her.

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Speaker 1: So they got married in October of eighteen nineteen. Apparently

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Speaker 1: he just really fell in love with her because she

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Speaker 1: had such a kind demeanor. But their wedding night was

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Speaker 1: a disaster because, like we said, Maria Josepha was raised

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Speaker 1: in a convent. She had not been told one single

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Speaker 1: youthful thing about sex or reproduction. They don't do sex

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Speaker 1: out at the convent, not so much. And I mean

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Speaker 1: even if they had, who could have prepared her for

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Speaker 1: a sex pillow, you know, like a weird sex donut. So,

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Speaker 1: you know, at this time is pretty common, of course

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Speaker 1: for your mother or a married sister, or a married

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Speaker 1: sister in law even to kind of have the birds

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Speaker 1: and bees talk with a new bride. She's like, here's

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Speaker 1: how to put a condom on on a banana, but

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Speaker 1: for him, let's use an upside down summer squash. I know, here,

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Speaker 1: I am making it a food. I know, why don't

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00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:52,400
Speaker 1: you just you just yelled at me. Well anyway, so yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, your mom, your sister, whatever. But of course

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Speaker 1: Maria Joseph didn't have a mother, and her sister in

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Speaker 1: law was be a Francisca who was probably still pretty

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Speaker 1: piste off about her sister getting cut up and just

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Speaker 1: refused to talk to Maria Josepha. She was the one

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Speaker 1: who said, no, she's still alive, exactly right. So she

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Speaker 1: was just kind of like, I'm not I'm not helping

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Speaker 1: y'all out with ship. Yeah, this family sucks exactly. So

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Speaker 1: poor Maria Josepha was alone in a lot of ways

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Speaker 1: when Ferdinand, lacking any finesse whatsoever, entered her bed chamber

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Speaker 1: completely naked. Now we know what monstrous dick this poor

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Speaker 1: girl was confronted with. So maybe it does not surprise

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Speaker 1: you to learn that she ran screaming from her room

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Speaker 1: in terror. Oh god, but you could just see like

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Speaker 1: one of the poor palace guards, like just hanging out

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Speaker 1: on a dark holliway at night, you know, and all

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Speaker 1: of a sudden the queen comes birthday robe flying and

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Speaker 1: running down the hall. Okay, of course that really piste

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Speaker 1: off Ferdinand. He did not like that, even though it

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Speaker 1: really feels like it cannot the first time that that's happened.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, he wasn't happy about this. Everybody's like, we

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Speaker 1: got to fix this. So Maria Francisco, the sister in law,

424
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:15,760
Speaker 1: was like fine, and she sat Maria Josepha down and

425
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:18,480
Speaker 1: she's like, girl, it is not a sin to fuck

426
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:21,640
Speaker 1: your husband. Okay. In fact, that's kind of why you're here,

427
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:24,240
Speaker 1: all right, So why don't you just lie back and

428
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 1: think of Spain or whatever they were telling these four

429
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 1: queens back in the day. Well, Maria Josepha was like, okay,

430
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 1: all right, give me another shot. I got this, plumb,

431
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 1: mean coach, I got this. She went back to her

432
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 1: bed chamber where Ferdinand was, you know, presumably still just

433
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 1: sitting their pants off. This weird dick. They're waiting for her,

434
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:47,200
Speaker 1: and they tried again, but this time she was still

435
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:52,679
Speaker 1: so terrified that when he approached her with this dick

436
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:58,199
Speaker 1: swinging around, she freaked out so hard that she pissed

437
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:01,480
Speaker 1: and shipped herself in fear. Oh my god, it's like

438
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 1: not funny, But it's not. It's you're a terrible person.

439
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, so sorry, because I'm like, I really have

440
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:11,680
Speaker 1: a lot of sympathy. She's only six. Oh my god,

441
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 1: it's horrible. Once told her a word and how she

442
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 1: has the weirdest penis you can conceive of in front

443
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 1: of her, and she's like, the funk am I supposed

444
00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:23,640
Speaker 1: to do with this? But it is funny to think

445
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 1: of this amorous king trying to get it on and

446
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:31,879
Speaker 1: she's it's loney tune's logic for sure. Well, obviously this

447
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 1: kind of killed the mood. Fernand still really angry, and

448
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 1: he just stormed out of the room. And after that

449
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,760
Speaker 1: she refused to have sex with him for a long time.

450
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:44,280
Speaker 1: She said, quote, what the king wants from me is

451
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:50,640
Speaker 1: a mortal sin. Poor girl. It took the Pope himself,

452
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:54,439
Speaker 1: Pious the Seventh, to get her to agree. He wrote

453
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 1: her a personal letter promising her that it was not

454
00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:02,040
Speaker 1: against the Christian really jen to have sex with her husband.

455
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 1: In fact, it was her duty to provide an air

456
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 1: and secure the succession. So back she went to the

457
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:13,439
Speaker 1: bedroom of Ferdinand and they did finally consummate the marriage,

458
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:17,480
Speaker 1: although according to author jose and Donio vindal Salis, she

459
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:21,440
Speaker 1: quote always trembled with anguish and fear when she went

460
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 1: into his room to have sex. Sad. Yeah. She also

461
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 1: apparently made it a requirement that they pray the Rosary

462
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:30,399
Speaker 1: first each and every time that they did it, and

463
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,720
Speaker 1: Vidale Salis wrote quote, in ten years of marriage like this,

464
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:36,960
Speaker 1: Ferdinand would have prayed more than he had in his

465
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:42,040
Speaker 1: entire damn life. Oh this poor girl. I mean, I

466
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,520
Speaker 1: don't know if she was like trembling with anguish and fear,

467
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:47,000
Speaker 1: just because she clearly was not interested in sex it

468
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:50,640
Speaker 1: sounded terrifying to her. Or if it was like bad,

469
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 1: like if he was doing bad things, or if it

470
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:57,480
Speaker 1: was uncomfortable, like painful, just to just even if he

471
00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:00,600
Speaker 1: was as tender as you would wish, just might be

472
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,240
Speaker 1: one of those things. It's just you're not compatible on

473
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:07,480
Speaker 1: that way. Um. I love the pope was like, girl,

474
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,520
Speaker 1: how many he's like? I can't wait to be pope

475
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 1: and dedicate myself to the Bible and God. Actually I

476
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 1: spent most of my time convincing royals to have sex

477
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 1: with each other. Well, even despite all of this very

478
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:25,800
Speaker 1: bad beginning with their wedding night and how much she

479
00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:28,200
Speaker 1: made him pray before they had sex and everything else,

480
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:31,880
Speaker 1: Ferdinand really seems to have loved her. In his eighteen

481
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 1: twenty four memoirs Uh, he wrote that she was quote

482
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 1: distinguished no less by the gracefulness of her person than

483
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:42,200
Speaker 1: by the elevation of her mind, and appears determined not

484
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:45,840
Speaker 1: to take any part in public affairs, which I guess

485
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 1: he appreciated. And yeah, in fact, she mostly withdrew from

486
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 1: public life altogether when she died as the result of

487
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 1: a fever in May eighty nine. Ferdinand was heartbroken. But

488
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 1: Maria Josepha, even though she's swallowed her fears and took

489
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 1: the king to bed with her, never did get pregnant

490
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 1: in all those ten years they were together. So Ferdinand

491
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 1: had to find another bride and fast, because he's now

492
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 1: forty five, he's only getting older. And that brings us

493
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:18,959
Speaker 1: to Maria number four, and we will tell you all

494
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 1: about her right after these words. Welcome back, everybody. So

495
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 1: Ferdinand is thrice widowed now and still has no heirs.

496
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 1: He's getting old, and he was also kind of ill

497
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,000
Speaker 1: at this point in his life. So there was a

498
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:40,520
Speaker 1: serious succession crisis well on its way between Ferdinand's brother

499
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 1: Carlos and his wife Maria Francisca, who started squaring off

500
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 1: with Ferdinand's other brother Francisco to Paula and his wife

501
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 1: Luisa Carlotta about which one of the two of them

502
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 1: would eventually take the throne. Is it going to be

503
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:57,680
Speaker 1: Stennis or is it going to be uh friendly? Whichat yeah,

504
00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:01,000
Speaker 1: exactly right? Which brothers coming up to power next? Well,

505
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:05,600
Speaker 1: Ferdinand assembled the Council of Castile, which tasked him with

506
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,600
Speaker 1: remarrying and having a baby this time. Damn it. It

507
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 1: was like, I'm putting a whole council together just to

508
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 1: get me laid so I can hopefully have a son. Seriously,

509
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:16,560
Speaker 1: like the Pope and everyone else is involved in this

510
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 1: guy getting some because he's got no babies at this point.

511
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 1: Zero not. I mean, obviously they want a son, but

512
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 1: he hadn't even had any surviving daughters at this well,

513
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 1: Luisa Carlotta, remember who's the wife of Ferdinand's brother Francisco.

514
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:34,680
Speaker 1: To Paula, she suggested Ferdinand's own niece, who was also

515
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:38,840
Speaker 1: her sister, Maria Cristina. Of the two sisterlies. It's such

516
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:42,760
Speaker 1: a tangled web of relations. I'm like, can I have

517
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:46,720
Speaker 1: we met before? Oh? Yes, I'm your brother's wife and

518
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 1: your sister, and I'm also your niece and your aunt.

519
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 1: Like it's getting married full shrub family shrubs just can't

520
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 1: keep up, all right, It's it's chaos. I mean. Luisa

521
00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 1: Carlotta herself was married to her uncle ferdinand brother. So

522
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 1: Ferdinand is her great uncle, her uncle. Yeah, oh my god,

523
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:09,600
Speaker 1: she's married to one uncle. She's trying to help the

524
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 1: other one out by marrying him. Off to her sister,

525
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:15,080
Speaker 1: his niece. Just assume they're like, whatever relation you think

526
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 1: is between two people, it probably is this niece who

527
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 1: was suggested to him. Maria Christina is described by Irish

528
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:25,920
Speaker 1: author Marguerite Gardner, the Countess of Blessington, who met her

529
00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:29,880
Speaker 1: on her grand tour, as being lively and cheerful, with

530
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 1: flawless facial features, beautiful teeth, expressive eyes, and a charming smile.

531
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 1: Ferdinand was like, all right, good, that works, Let's do this.

532
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:41,640
Speaker 1: Sign me up, Let's make a baby, and only a

533
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 1: few months after Maria Josepha died, he married Maria Christina

534
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:50,160
Speaker 1: in December of eighteen twenty nine. Apparently, the Spanish liberals

535
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 1: like identified with her immediately. They loved her. She was there, uh,

536
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 1: lady Gaga there like, yes, we stand ma. She arrived

537
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 1: in Spain in a blue cloak, and the liberals immediately

538
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 1: made that their official color. She might be the one

539
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,440
Speaker 1: who created the sex doughnut pillow to enable her to

540
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:11,960
Speaker 1: have sex with him and conceive children. That's right. They're

541
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 1: both great stories. In one, Ferdinand consults with his physicians

542
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:18,640
Speaker 1: because he's like, look at this, what do I do?

543
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 1: And they're like let's figure this out. In another one,

544
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:26,120
Speaker 1: Maria Christina is informed of her approaching nuptials with her uncle,

545
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:28,600
Speaker 1: and she's heard all about his weird dick, and she

546
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 1: decides to undertake a project to make her life a

547
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:37,600
Speaker 1: little simpler. Either way, I love it. Now, let's not

548
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:42,239
Speaker 1: forget that Ferdinand the seventh was a bit of a dog. Um.

549
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:45,200
Speaker 1: We talked a little earlier about how he preferred prostitutes

550
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:48,200
Speaker 1: over his wife's company and took a year to consummate

551
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:51,720
Speaker 1: his first marriage, But even his love for Maria Josepha

552
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 1: apparently didn't stop him from continuing his outings to brothels

553
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 1: and even bringing prostitutes back to the palace, which just

554
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 1: really human aided his wives. Um. The website Seville for

555
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 1: real dot com or probably Seville for Real even claims

556
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,040
Speaker 1: that he quote bragged about the virgins he brought to

557
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:15,880
Speaker 1: the palace and collected rags that testified to his deflowering. Gross,

558
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 1: which is just gross. Like, even if it's not a

559
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:22,200
Speaker 1: bloody rag, sex trophy is just a sucking gross. I mean,

560
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 1: any rag around sex is a gross rag. I must

561
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 1: say any sex rag gross. Yeah, I don't care what's

562
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:34,520
Speaker 1: on it, it's not I don't want it to keep

563
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:39,359
Speaker 1: it away from me. Well, yeah, a good point, an

564
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:42,320
Speaker 1: excellent point. Oh so, anyway, this time he's married to

565
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:45,279
Speaker 1: Maria Christina, and I don't know, maybe he had his

566
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:49,800
Speaker 1: past terrible wedding nights in mind because this one he

567
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,920
Speaker 1: decided to ruin all by himself. There's not a lot

568
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,920
Speaker 1: of detail about this or anything, but Fidel Salis wrote

569
00:34:56,040 --> 00:35:00,640
Speaker 1: that the wedding night was quote unfortunate because of Ferdinand

570
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 1: the seventh impatience to satisfy his sensual hunger, and he

571
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 1: likens Maria Christina's experience that night to rape. He He's like,

572
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 1: she was raped, Like he just straight up says it

573
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 1: um that it was kind of violent and aggressive, and

574
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 1: Maria Christina like never forgot how shitty he was to

575
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 1: her that night. As much as their relations improved, she

576
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 1: was like, fuck this guy. Unfortunately she did not have

577
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,720
Speaker 1: to deal with him for too long because in eighteen

578
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:33,000
Speaker 1: thirty she had their first child, Isabella the Second, and

579
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:36,080
Speaker 1: in eighteen thirty two she gave birth to their second daughter,

580
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:41,759
Speaker 1: Maria Luisa Fernanda. At the time, Spain was under Salic law,

581
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:45,680
Speaker 1: which was instituted by the French King of Spain Philip

582
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:49,360
Speaker 1: the Fifth, and that meant only males could inherit. This

583
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:52,440
Speaker 1: was probably a way to keep Spain under French control

584
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:56,680
Speaker 1: with only French airs. It must be noted that Carlos,

585
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 1: remember him, Ferdinand's brother who was fighting for, you know,

586
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 1: his own succession to the throne. He felt that the

587
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:06,719
Speaker 1: right to rule was God given, and so he had

588
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:09,320
Speaker 1: refused to give up his rights to Napoleon like his

589
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:11,880
Speaker 1: father and brother had. But now that his brother was

590
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:14,120
Speaker 1: on the throne, there's no way he would have actually

591
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:17,239
Speaker 1: taken up arms against him because he's like, brother, God

592
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,879
Speaker 1: picked you. I'm not here to mess with that. Yeah,

593
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,400
Speaker 1: he didn't have a lot of personal desire for the

594
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:24,759
Speaker 1: throne or anything like that. He was just like, it's

595
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:28,040
Speaker 1: ordained from above, so if it falls to me, I

596
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:33,440
Speaker 1: have to, you know. But Ferdinand decided to ratify his

597
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:38,640
Speaker 1: father's pragmatic sanctioned decree in eighteen thirty, and this decree

598
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:40,399
Speaker 1: was something his father put into place but was never

599
00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:44,480
Speaker 1: actually made into law, and this would allow his daughter

600
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:48,440
Speaker 1: to ascend to the throne. Honestly, Ferdinand just wanted an

601
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:50,560
Speaker 1: air of his own siring to become the monarch, no

602
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 1: matter what gender they were he was. He was like,

603
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:55,359
Speaker 1: I don't care boys, girls, anybody can be a regent.

604
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,239
Speaker 1: I'm an equal opportunity monarch. I don't know, I feel

605
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 1: he was just like, it has it has to be exactly. Well.

606
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:05,200
Speaker 1: This changed everything for Carlos and his supporters. They were

607
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:09,800
Speaker 1: called Carlists, and they felt that this pragmatic sanction was

608
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:14,800
Speaker 1: impractical and illegal. They kept pushing for Carlos's claims to

609
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 1: the throne, even though Carlos himself didn't really have an

610
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:22,799
Speaker 1: interest in ruling, but his wife, Maria Francisca and her

611
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 1: sister Maria Teresa definitely did want him on the throne,

612
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 1: so they were the ones who kept egging on the Carlists.

613
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:32,400
Speaker 1: That's right. And Maria Francisca actually would pass away in

614
00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:35,920
Speaker 1: eighteen thirty four, and Carlos would marry her sister, Maria Teresa,

615
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 1: which is why she cared so much. She wanted to

616
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 1: be queen. I guess, and I assumed they were cousins

617
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,920
Speaker 1: or niece and nephews too. Well, that's her sister and

618
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,359
Speaker 1: oh yeah, so he that's her niece, that's his niece. Yeah,

619
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:48,040
Speaker 1: because he was already married to his niece and then

620
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:52,560
Speaker 1: she died and he married her sister's niece. Don't be

621
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:55,320
Speaker 1: a niece in Spain, I guess, don't be a niece.

622
00:37:55,760 --> 00:38:00,960
Speaker 1: Then in eight thirty two, Ferdinand was badly injured in

623
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:03,399
Speaker 1: a carriage accident. Everyone thought he was going to die

624
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:06,000
Speaker 1: pretty soon. So all of a sudden, the succession crisis

625
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:11,719
Speaker 1: became a very real So Queen Maria Christina, Ferdinand's wife,

626
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 1: found herself besieged on all sides, like even from her

627
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:18,960
Speaker 1: own priest and confessor, to convince the king to repeal

628
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 1: the pragmatic sanction. They warned her that the country would

629
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:26,400
Speaker 1: be plunged into civil war if she didn't do this again,

630
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 1: just like House of the Dragon. Yes, they're like, don't

631
00:38:29,239 --> 00:38:31,400
Speaker 1: let your I know that We've already set it up

632
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:33,800
Speaker 1: for your daughter to inherit. But everyone's going to hate that,

633
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:37,919
Speaker 1: So please just convince your dying husband to repeal that law,

634
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 1: so that George George R. Martin fully in the history

635
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 1: wipe this whole story. So, you know, Maria Christina not

636
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,560
Speaker 1: really a governmental person. She didn't really care about that

637
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:53,480
Speaker 1: type of ship. So she's here in this and she's like,

638
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 1: all right, I guess you know, y'all would know, not me.

639
00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,360
Speaker 1: So she decided to seek the counsel of one of

640
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:04,839
Speaker 1: the king's advisers, a guy named Francisco Calomarde. But turns

641
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:07,279
Speaker 1: out Calamarte is not the guy to ask, because let

642
00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:09,600
Speaker 1: me tell you about him. He was a born liar

643
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 1: and flip flopper. He had gotten his position in the

644
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 1: Ministry of Law by promising to marry the court physician's

645
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:20,560
Speaker 1: ugly niece. Once he got the job, he backtracked on

646
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 1: that promise and was forced to go through with it

647
00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 1: after he was threatened with the galleys. So then he

648
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 1: helped lead the mutiny that caused Ferdinand's father to abdicate

649
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:33,759
Speaker 1: in favor of Ferdinand back in eighteen o eight. But

650
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:40,000
Speaker 1: then he got banished to Toledo, Spain, not Ohio, after

651
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:44,520
Speaker 1: he faked the sale of an American diocese. So I

652
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:46,839
Speaker 1: don't know for sure if he faked that they bought

653
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 1: it or they faked that they sold it, but either way,

654
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:51,400
Speaker 1: he was trying to skim some money somehow, and he

655
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 1: got banished to Toledo for being a shady bitch. Then

656
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:58,560
Speaker 1: in eighteen twenty he joined the Liberals. With their support,

657
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:03,239
Speaker 1: he became the Secretary of Justice in and then spent

658
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:08,200
Speaker 1: eight years running the secret police and ruthlessly prosecuting the liberals.

659
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:11,760
Speaker 1: What total little fingers. He's only on his own side,

660
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:15,479
Speaker 1: fair weather friend. Exactly, you cannot Yeah, he is full

661
00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:21,279
Speaker 1: of garbage card more like Calamerde. So the point is

662
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:23,880
Speaker 1: this guy cannot be trusted. And at this point he

663
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:27,000
Speaker 1: actually wanted to see Carlos on the throne. So he

664
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:31,280
Speaker 1: was a carlist. So when Maria Christina asked him for advice,

665
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:34,239
Speaker 1: I guess, not knowing he was a car list, he

666
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:38,200
Speaker 1: told her, oh, the Spanish people, they will rally around

667
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:41,320
Speaker 1: Carlos and that he is the best bet of staving

668
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 1: off the civil war. So Queen Maria Christina went to

669
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:47,960
Speaker 1: her husband Ferdinance sick bed and asked him to repeal

670
00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:51,320
Speaker 1: the sanction and issue a decree making her the regent

671
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 1: with his brother Carlos as her chief adviser. But Carlos

672
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:59,320
Speaker 1: is actually the one who refused this proposal. He felt

673
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,239
Speaker 1: that it was his divine right to rule, and that

674
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:04,360
Speaker 1: was it. I don't want this, I don't want this

675
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:07,600
Speaker 1: advisor job. Yeah, and it seems like too he was

676
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 1: just like, no one gives me the right to rule.

677
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:13,279
Speaker 1: I already have it, you know, so he just was

678
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:17,680
Speaker 1: very stuck on that kind of dogmatic. Well, Calamarde comes

679
00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:19,719
Speaker 1: back in again and he tells her, you know, no,

680
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:23,320
Speaker 1: that's dire consequences if you can't convince the king to

681
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:26,960
Speaker 1: reinstate saleic law, and you've got to convince him not

682
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 1: to let your own daughter be the heir so that

683
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:32,520
Speaker 1: we don't go into a civil war. But then it

684
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:38,239
Speaker 1: seemed that King Ferdinand had died, and so immediately Calamarde

685
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 1: steps up publicly and says, well, actually the pragmatic sanction

686
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:47,160
Speaker 1: was repealed, so Isabella cannot inherit the throne. And then

687
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:51,440
Speaker 1: Calamarte was the first one to greet Carlos as the

688
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:57,759
Speaker 1: new king of Spain. Maria Christina was completely deserted by

689
00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 1: all of her courtiers. Man, it just went for it.

690
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:07,480
Speaker 1: But oops, CALAMARTI book, because Ferdinand wasn't dead yet, he

691
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:11,680
Speaker 1: like popped up like a daisy. It's just literally spoiler

692
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:14,400
Speaker 1: alerts for the entire first season of House of the Dragon.

693
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:17,399
Speaker 1: I swear to God, beat for beat. It kind of yeah,

694
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:21,480
Speaker 1: you're you're so right. Uh yeah. So that the word

695
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:23,759
Speaker 1: about that kind of went around and people are like, okay,

696
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:25,719
Speaker 1: I guess Carlos is not king and we don't know

697
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:29,000
Speaker 1: what's going on yet. And the Council of Castile who

698
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:31,920
Speaker 1: did not want Carlos in charge, they were liberals. They

699
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 1: wanted a constitutional monarchy instead of an absolute monarchy. Carlos

700
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:38,880
Speaker 1: would have done an absolute monarchy because of his dogmatic

701
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:41,440
Speaker 1: conviction that God gives you the right to rule and

702
00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 1: do whatever you want with everybody. So they're like, we

703
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:47,000
Speaker 1: don't want this guy. They decide, you know what, we

704
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:49,879
Speaker 1: need a stronger hand at the wheel than than old

705
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 1: Maria Christina. You know, she's sweet, but she's kind of

706
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:57,840
Speaker 1: letting herself get all walked over. Meanwhile, her sister, Louisa Carlotta,

707
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:00,719
Speaker 1: was very famous for her determine ation and her very

708
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:05,560
Speaker 1: strong personality. So the Council of Castile sent for Louisa Carlotta.

709
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:07,719
Speaker 1: They were like, come help us out with this. And

710
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:11,279
Speaker 1: when Louisa Carlotta heard about all these shenanigans, she rode

711
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:15,920
Speaker 1: NonStop from Andalucia to the palace, marched right up to

712
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:19,280
Speaker 1: Maria Christina and scolded her for having a lack of spine.

713
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:23,359
Speaker 1: How could you let that push you around? And then

714
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:26,200
Speaker 1: she said, let me talk to his motherfucker Calimarte right quick.

715
00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:29,920
Speaker 1: And legend has it that she actually grabbed the document

716
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:33,319
Speaker 1: prohibiting women from inheriting the throne and tried to throw

717
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:36,600
Speaker 1: it into the fire, and when Calamarte tried to grab

718
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:39,600
Speaker 1: it back, she slapped him in the face, and he

719
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 1: allegedly responded, quote, madam white, hands don't offend which and

720
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:52,719
Speaker 1: he guesses it's like, you know, pure ladies hands. I

721
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:55,320
Speaker 1: think it's lady's hands. I think it's like, you know,

722
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 1: what is that the fair foe is like when you

723
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:06,479
Speaker 1: have a a woman, right, yeah, it's like you're she's feminine. Yes, okay,

724
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:07,960
Speaker 1: So he's like, you hit like a girl and it

725
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:13,319
Speaker 1: don't hurt. He's like, you can slap me all you want,

726
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:17,400
Speaker 1: but you're just a woman. It means nothing. Yeah, alright, Well, anyway,

727
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 1: this whole incident and the slap and everything is definitely

728
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:23,759
Speaker 1: considered an urban legend rather than fact. You know, if

729
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:26,400
Speaker 1: this happened, only the two of them could tell us

730
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:29,799
Speaker 1: that it went down. But whether she ever laid hands

731
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:34,160
Speaker 1: on him or not, Louisa Carlotta handled business. She got

732
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:38,800
Speaker 1: the pragmatic sanction reinstated and got Calamarte banished to his

733
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,760
Speaker 1: estates in Aragon, where he was supposed to be arrested,

734
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 1: but that sneaky bitch escaped it to lose, and then

735
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 1: he died there in two at the age of sixty nine.

736
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:51,840
Speaker 1: Not nice, No, I kind of wish he'd gotten, you know,

737
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 1: bayonetted and left her dead the road somewhere. But he's

738
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:59,920
Speaker 1: like a cockroach, you know. He lived, made it through well.

739
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:03,759
Speaker 1: Ferdinand recovered enough to ensure that his daughter Isabella the

740
00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:06,919
Speaker 1: Second inherited the throne, and he also gave his wife

741
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:12,360
Speaker 1: Maria Christina full regency powers. Luisa Carlotta stayed around to

742
00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:14,440
Speaker 1: kind of help out. She was more active in the

743
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 1: government than Maria Christina was. She met with more officials

744
00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:20,359
Speaker 1: than she did. She was just doing a lot more work. Again,

745
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:24,000
Speaker 1: she was the go getter. And then Ferdinand the Seven

746
00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:27,680
Speaker 1: died on September twenty nine of eighteen thirty three, for

747
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:32,640
Speaker 1: real this time. Right then, the three year old Isabella

748
00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:36,600
Speaker 1: the Second was named queen and her mother, Maria Christina

749
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 1: was named regent obviously because you know, the queen was

750
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:43,520
Speaker 1: three years old. But then only a couple of days later,

751
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:48,840
Speaker 1: on October one, Carlos Ferdinand's brother declared himself king. He

752
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:51,560
Speaker 1: was like, I'm not listening to all these ladies. It's me.

753
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:55,920
Speaker 1: I'm king. We already decided this fact is fact, ladies

754
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:59,240
Speaker 1: getting no divine rights. So you've got all the Carlos

755
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:02,320
Speaker 1: son one side, but then you've got Isabella the Second

756
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:06,440
Speaker 1: and Maria Christina's supporters, who were called Isabellino's and they

757
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:10,080
Speaker 1: all confronted each other, and the first Carlist War began,

758
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:13,320
Speaker 1: and it's considered by some to be the largest and

759
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 1: most deadly civil war of the time. And this decided

760
00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:20,279
Speaker 1: whether or not Spain would be a traditional monarchy like

761
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 1: the Carlists wanted, or a constitutional monarchy like the Liberals wanted.

762
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:29,240
Speaker 1: So the Carlist Wars are raging, you know, throughout Isabella

763
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:34,640
Speaker 1: the second childhood. Meanwhile, Maria Christina had fallen in love

764
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:38,480
Speaker 1: while she was still married to Ferdinand. She had met

765
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:43,080
Speaker 1: a sergeant in the Royal Guard named Augustine Fernando Munio's

766
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:46,160
Speaker 1: and he was two years younger than her. He was handsome,

767
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:51,279
Speaker 1: well bred kind. He apparently attracted her attention by either

768
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:55,560
Speaker 1: stopping her runaway horses or merely picking up her handkerchief.

769
00:46:55,920 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 1: Oh either way, a delightful meet. Yes, exactly right. It

770
00:46:59,719 --> 00:47:02,680
Speaker 1: in to a podcast like hours. Well, whatever it was

771
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:05,040
Speaker 1: that he did for her, or however they met, they

772
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:08,640
Speaker 1: fell in love, and only three months after Ferdinand died,

773
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:14,440
Speaker 1: she and Augustine got married in a secret ceremony. It

774
00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:16,279
Speaker 1: was important to keep this a secret because if she

775
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:19,840
Speaker 1: got married, she couldn't be regent anymore. Um, and she

776
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:22,520
Speaker 1: knew that, you know, nobody at court would like it.

777
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:25,120
Speaker 1: You know, She's like, this isn't gonna be a popular

778
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:29,120
Speaker 1: move of mine, um, because it's a organic or very

779
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:32,480
Speaker 1: unequal marriage between a royal and a not royal person.

780
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:34,480
Speaker 1: So a lot of people at court knew that they

781
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 1: were having an affair and they were like, fine, whatever

782
00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:38,600
Speaker 1: gets rockstock girl, you know what I mean. But they

783
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:42,680
Speaker 1: didn't know about the marriage, that it was a legal marriage. Well,

784
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:47,600
Speaker 1: eventually the news got out and the scandal was intense.

785
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:54,480
Speaker 1: Maria Christina instantly became deeply unpopular everywhere. Ministers and military

786
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:57,400
Speaker 1: leaders alike. We're like begging her to step aside, and

787
00:47:57,480 --> 00:48:00,319
Speaker 1: in eighteen forty she did. She right, now, it's her

788
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 1: regency and she and Augustine basically were exiled to France.

789
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:07,200
Speaker 1: They stopped on their way in Naples to get a

790
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:11,320
Speaker 1: papal dispensation for their marriage, and then in her place

791
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:15,439
Speaker 1: as regents, they put the most popular is Abellino, which

792
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 1: was General Beldamero Espartero. Okay, he was very loyal to

793
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:24,080
Speaker 1: Isabelle and it was a good choice. He's the region now, Okay, Okay, Hey,

794
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:25,880
Speaker 1: I don't think we stopped in Naples to get a

795
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:27,960
Speaker 1: papal dispensation for our marriage, so I feel like we

796
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:30,120
Speaker 1: should go back to We should go back to Naples. YEA,

797
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:34,120
Speaker 1: be right there Naples. Has the pope even cared about

798
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:38,520
Speaker 1: our marriage once? Well? When Isabella in the second officially

799
00:48:38,600 --> 00:48:41,239
Speaker 1: assumed the throne at the ripe old age of thirteen

800
00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:45,200
Speaker 1: in eighteen forty four, she granted her mother permission to

801
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:48,280
Speaker 1: have a public marriage ceremony, and she made her stepdad,

802
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:53,239
Speaker 1: the Duke of Rian Saris. Maria Christina and Augustin had

803
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:56,640
Speaker 1: seven children together between eighteen thirty four. In eighteen forty three,

804
00:48:57,400 --> 00:49:01,160
Speaker 1: Augustin became highly decorated in both Spain and France, and

805
00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:03,800
Speaker 1: he got a lot of savvy business investments and that

806
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:06,439
Speaker 1: let them live pretty comfortably for the rest of their lives.

807
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:10,399
Speaker 1: It's cool dude. Honestly, it's a good second husband. Yeah. Yeah,

808
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:13,920
Speaker 1: she did out just like, let me get this handsome

809
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:18,359
Speaker 1: sergeant had to handle himself. Also, they had seven kids.

810
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:20,760
Speaker 1: This suggested me off his fernand was definitely the problem

811
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:25,359
Speaker 1: and not the ladies, because isn't that so often the case?

812
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:28,239
Speaker 1: And then we I feel like science recently determined that

813
00:49:28,680 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 1: men have more to do with the gender gender child,

814
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:35,239
Speaker 1: So it's typically you know, it wasn't like Henry the eighth.

815
00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:37,479
Speaker 1: I know how many times you have to try before

816
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 1: you realize it's you, buddy, me Hi and the problem.

817
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:48,200
Speaker 1: It's me only the Swifties have been around for King Henry,

818
00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:53,960
Speaker 1: King Henry and the two problems. Well, even though her

819
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:56,800
Speaker 1: mom turned out okay in her marriage, Isabella was not

820
00:49:56,960 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 1: so lucky. When she was sixteen, her minister's prevailed on

821
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:04,000
Speaker 1: her to marry her double first cousin. They were like,

822
00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:06,480
Speaker 1: you know what, we're sick of people marrying their cousins.

823
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:08,600
Speaker 1: And everyone's like, oh thank god. They're like, you've now

824
00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:11,759
Speaker 1: you've got to marry her double first cousin. What does

825
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:17,439
Speaker 1: that even mean? He's your cousin through two different lineages. Yea,

826
00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:23,480
Speaker 1: because it was Luisa Carlotta's son Francisco to Aziz, the

827
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:28,840
Speaker 1: Duke of Cadiz. Isabella was apparently disgusted by him. She

828
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 1: told one of her friends, quote, what shall I tell

829
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:35,080
Speaker 1: you about a man whom I saw wearing more lace

830
00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:38,920
Speaker 1: than I was on our wedding night? Girl? So the

831
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:42,440
Speaker 1: rumor is that Francisco was either gay or impotent. So

832
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 1: maybe Isabella the second was a little homophobic. A blog

833
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:53,000
Speaker 1: called Eurohistory Journal describes Isabella as a man eater with

834
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:56,760
Speaker 1: a voracious sexual appetite who would have preferred Francisco's younger brother.

835
00:50:57,120 --> 00:51:01,759
Speaker 1: This manly swashbuckler to the feminine Francisco that she ended

836
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:04,040
Speaker 1: up having a marry like, can I at least pick

837
00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:06,279
Speaker 1: the double first cousins and I having I'm marry? But

838
00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:10,160
Speaker 1: they said, no, you get this one. Isabella was pregnant

839
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:13,840
Speaker 1: twelve times during their marriage, although only five lived to

840
00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:17,680
Speaker 1: grow up. Each one of them probably actually had a

841
00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:20,800
Speaker 1: different father because she had a ton of lovers throughout

842
00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:24,280
Speaker 1: her reign, but Francisco recognized them all as his children.

843
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 1: But he also blackmailed Isabella throughout her life to pay

844
00:51:28,760 --> 00:51:33,239
Speaker 1: him for his silence. So a bunch of terrible people

845
00:51:33,320 --> 00:51:37,799
Speaker 1: here just insane. It probably felt pretty chill even to her,

846
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:40,080
Speaker 1: because you just come in and be like, hey, I

847
00:51:40,160 --> 00:51:42,360
Speaker 1: bought a horse or something, and she's like, damn it,

848
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:44,560
Speaker 1: we don't have the money for that ship. And he's like, oh,

849
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:46,879
Speaker 1: did you want me to tell people like that your

850
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 1: heir has got nothing to do with me? Or do

851
00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:53,000
Speaker 1: you want to buy the horse? And she's like, I'm sorry,

852
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:56,000
Speaker 1: but this is exactly what happened in House of the Dragons.

853
00:51:56,160 --> 00:51:59,239
Speaker 1: I know, I know, except that she was really understanding

854
00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:01,759
Speaker 1: of his a little bit, but then he got a

855
00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 1: little he took advantage of it. No, he did. It's true.

856
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:07,279
Speaker 1: I just mean it's unlike Queen Isabella. She wasn't like

857
00:52:07,480 --> 00:52:09,839
Speaker 1: this guy was too much late. No no, no, yeah, yeah,

858
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:12,440
Speaker 1: she was like I actually like the show that came out,

859
00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:15,400
Speaker 1: so she had to be It's so true. Yeah, she

860
00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 1: had to be more more chill about that, or else

861
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:23,120
Speaker 1: you wouldn't like her. Well. Isabella became somewhat unpopular over

862
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:26,040
Speaker 1: the years of her reign with her very public affairs.

863
00:52:26,600 --> 00:52:30,640
Speaker 1: People found her court to be corrupted and she's constantly

864
00:52:30,760 --> 00:52:35,200
Speaker 1: these dudes around and stuff. She even survived an assassination

865
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:37,840
Speaker 1: attempt when a guy tried to stab her and he

866
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:42,080
Speaker 1: couldn't get through the elaborate embroidery and boning on her course,

867
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:45,279
Speaker 1: and he's like, white, hang on, hold still, I'm just

868
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:48,359
Speaker 1: going to try and go under the side here. Maybe

869
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:50,160
Speaker 1: I'll go. She's like, no, no, You've got to go

870
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:53,960
Speaker 1: up through the stitching. So sorry, you can't between. It

871
00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:56,239
Speaker 1: takes like three maids to get me in this. There's

872
00:52:56,320 --> 00:52:59,719
Speaker 1: no chance. I picture like just sticking out like a

873
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:02,040
Speaker 1: work in a stake or something, and she's like, what

874
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:06,360
Speaker 1: were you trying to do? Eventually, the Glorious Revolution in

875
00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:10,560
Speaker 1: eighteen sixty eight deposed Isabella after thirty five years on

876
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:13,680
Speaker 1: the throne, so quite she it was her being unpopular,

877
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:15,200
Speaker 1: and like a lot of other things, you know how

878
00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:18,520
Speaker 1: revolutions go, got a lot of reasons for them. So

879
00:53:18,719 --> 00:53:22,680
Speaker 1: she and Francisco, her husband, had to hot footed to France,

880
00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:26,160
Speaker 1: where they ended up living with her mother, Maria Christina

881
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:28,560
Speaker 1: and her stepdad until they got their own place in

882
00:53:28,719 --> 00:53:32,440
Speaker 1: Paris on the Rue de Rivoli. She also renounced her

883
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:35,399
Speaker 1: rights to the throne in favor of her son Alfonso.

884
00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:41,160
Speaker 1: Isabella and Francisco separated amicably in eighteen seventy and became friends.

885
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:44,040
Speaker 1: So maybe, like Lucy and Desi, they just shouldn't have

886
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:47,439
Speaker 1: been married. They could have done great if they weren't married.

887
00:53:48,160 --> 00:53:52,440
Speaker 1: Um Augustine died in eighteen seventy three, Maria Christina in

888
00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:56,640
Speaker 1: eighteen seventy eight, and Isabella in nineteen o four, and

889
00:53:56,880 --> 00:54:00,719
Speaker 1: her great great great grandson, Philippe the Six is the

890
00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:04,200
Speaker 1: current monarch of Spain. Wow, so that family really just

891
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:07,040
Speaker 1: kept failing up. They kept failing up, and Ferdinand got

892
00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:09,560
Speaker 1: what he wanted. His bloodline is still exactly And I

893
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:11,759
Speaker 1: don't know anything about Philip the Six. He might be great,

894
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:14,640
Speaker 1: but just in terms of just like they were the worst,

895
00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:18,000
Speaker 1: but they kept being the rulers right well, and then

896
00:54:18,040 --> 00:54:19,719
Speaker 1: you look at other like you look at it and

897
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:22,400
Speaker 1: you're like, they're all the worst, Like whoever wanted to

898
00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:25,759
Speaker 1: take over? Also sucks because if you want to be

899
00:54:26,719 --> 00:54:29,200
Speaker 1: king or a queen, you know you're probably a bad person.

900
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:34,319
Speaker 1: I mean, are you willing to be a very bad

901
00:54:34,440 --> 00:54:37,200
Speaker 1: villain to someone at some point in your life? Yeah?

902
00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:40,080
Speaker 1: You got to do bad things? Very true, all right,

903
00:54:41,239 --> 00:54:43,719
Speaker 1: very true. So that's the story of Ferdinand's weird dick

904
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:49,320
Speaker 1: and how it changed Spanish history. Hopefully the this Dick's

905
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:53,279
Speaker 1: twists and turns and weird names. Uh, you know, we're

906
00:54:53,520 --> 00:54:56,760
Speaker 1: easy enough to follow. Next time we do a Spanish

907
00:54:56,880 --> 00:55:00,040
Speaker 1: royal story, we're renaming everyone. It's gonna be like, this

908
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:05,320
Speaker 1: is Desmond, and that's Bob, and that's Joanna and that's Phyllis,

909
00:55:05,719 --> 00:55:10,359
Speaker 1: so we can separate them a little bit. Dandy Bee, Yeah,

910
00:55:10,520 --> 00:55:15,480
Speaker 1: I'll be like, that's Ginger, and that's scary, and that's spicy.

911
00:55:16,360 --> 00:55:22,640
Speaker 1: Spicy spice. Spicy spice. Harder than that. I knew spice

912
00:55:22,719 --> 00:55:25,239
Speaker 1: was involved, but I couldn't reverse spe It's the last part.

913
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:31,520
Speaker 1: It's the second word, spicy spice. Who was spicy spice?

914
00:55:32,760 --> 00:55:35,320
Speaker 1: There must have been one. It's like the fifth beetle.

915
00:55:35,440 --> 00:55:39,960
Speaker 1: You know, there was a step seventh or sixth, So

916
00:55:40,160 --> 00:55:44,600
Speaker 1: there was a sixth secret spice girl named spicy Spice.

917
00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:48,000
Speaker 1: I'm telling you she was back there and your dreams.

918
00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:52,360
Speaker 1: She was back there in my dreams. The spice girls.

919
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:54,560
Speaker 1: You know, there was a time when the spice girls

920
00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:58,759
Speaker 1: were frequenters of my dreams. I'm sure. I'm so sure.

921
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:02,080
Speaker 1: Which was your favorite spice girl? Honestly my favorites, but

922
00:56:02,160 --> 00:56:05,520
Speaker 1: you know who guess who my favorite spice girl was. Yeah,

923
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:07,719
Speaker 1: obviously I knew it. Yeah, of course you did, because

924
00:56:07,719 --> 00:56:09,279
Speaker 1: you know me, and you know, at the end of

925
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:15,080
Speaker 1: the day, I just want to rich, tall, model looking, cold,

926
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:17,680
Speaker 1: icy person, right to be kind of mean to you,

927
00:56:18,239 --> 00:56:23,640
Speaker 1: mean to me. Yeah, it's the dream for you. I

928
00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:28,880
Speaker 1: am not tall, short sweetheart. It's I'm gonna say that

929
00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:31,560
Speaker 1: as a net. You know, when you look at the

930
00:56:31,719 --> 00:56:36,000
Speaker 1: full whole of everything, it's probably better that I didn't

931
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:40,600
Speaker 1: marry posh spice. Okay, I agree with that. Yeah, I

932
00:56:40,719 --> 00:56:42,960
Speaker 1: think I agree with that. Yeah, I think I think

933
00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:48,040
Speaker 1: it's likely that I made a better choice. Well, you

934
00:56:48,080 --> 00:56:50,560
Speaker 1: didn't ask, but Scary was my favorite. I was going

935
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:52,520
Speaker 1: to ask. I just wanted to make sure we were

936
00:56:52,560 --> 00:56:55,480
Speaker 1: done with my thing first. Scary. Of course, Scary was

937
00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:59,200
Speaker 1: your favorite. I would have guessed that too. The coolest. Yeah, yeah,

938
00:56:59,239 --> 00:57:02,000
Speaker 1: you're super cool. She was a little scary. I could

939
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:05,920
Speaker 1: see it. An intimidating woman. Yes, I don't know how

940
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:08,960
Speaker 1: this ended with Spice girls either. We were all on

941
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:10,680
Speaker 1: a Game of Thrones and now suddenly we're talking about

942
00:57:10,680 --> 00:57:13,719
Speaker 1: spice girls. But whatever, this is the kind of exciting

943
00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:17,160
Speaker 1: bouncing around the topics do you come to expect from

944
00:57:17,240 --> 00:57:23,000
Speaker 1: Ridiculous moments. Nobody expects the Spice Girls inquisition. Yeah you could.

945
00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:26,400
Speaker 1: You could book end it. I brought it back, brought

946
00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:29,800
Speaker 1: us back. If you're still with us, we'd love to

947
00:57:29,840 --> 00:57:33,640
Speaker 1: hear from you about your your take on this whole story,

948
00:57:33,760 --> 00:57:39,440
Speaker 1: this chaos, this amazing weird Martinian I'm coining that phrase. Uh,

949
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:43,560
Speaker 1: kind of royal story of weird dicks and backstabbings and

950
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:47,120
Speaker 1: scheming a little bit of everything. Again, it was just

951
00:57:47,320 --> 00:57:50,320
Speaker 1: like every story of every wife. I was like today,

952
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:55,160
Speaker 1: there's so much drama, because so fun. I will all

953
00:57:55,240 --> 00:57:58,400
Speaker 1: enjoyed it as much as we did to research and record.

954
00:57:58,520 --> 00:58:01,400
Speaker 1: This episode was about this guy in his crazy life.

955
00:58:01,520 --> 00:58:03,560
Speaker 1: So please do reach out to us. We love hearing

956
00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:07,360
Speaker 1: from you as always. Our email address is ridic Romance

957
00:58:07,480 --> 00:58:09,760
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. That's right. You can find us

958
00:58:09,800 --> 00:58:12,680
Speaker 1: on Twitter and Instagram. I'm at Oh Great, It's Eli,

959
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:15,720
Speaker 1: and I'm at Danamite Boom and the show is at

960
00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:20,160
Speaker 1: ridic Romance and don't forget to find us on TikTok

961
00:58:20,480 --> 00:58:23,600
Speaker 1: at Ridiculous Romance as well, where you can see cool

962
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:28,400
Speaker 1: videos like this of us moving around. Person. Thanks for

963
00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:31,280
Speaker 1: tuning in. Everybody. We'll catch you all with the next one.

964
00:58:31,480 --> 00:58:33,880
Speaker 1: Thanks for spending time with us, We love you. Bye,

965
00:58:35,280 --> 00:58:39,080
Speaker 1: so long friends, it's time to go. Thanks so listening

966
00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:42,520
Speaker 1: to our show. Tell your friends name's Uncle's in this

967
00:58:43,040 --> 00:58:45,440
Speaker 1: to listen to a show? Ridiculous roll nance