WEBVTT - Ep. 103 – Redefining Wealth with Patrice Washington 0:00:15.800 --> 0:00:20.400 Hey, Hey, Hey, for those of you who are asking 0:00:20.440 --> 0:00:23.360 for the visual. With each hey, my hands get progressively 0:00:23.440 --> 0:00:26.880 higher and I end in jazz hands and scene. I 0:00:26.920 --> 0:00:30.720 am super excited because we got my girl law of today. 0:00:30.920 --> 0:00:32.800 Aside from Mandy, which is my girl, but you know 0:00:32.840 --> 0:00:35.000 y'all are used to Mandy. We've got a guest that 0:00:35.080 --> 0:00:38.159 you guys have loved. She was here two years ago 0:00:38.200 --> 0:00:43.000 when we first started, and she's grasing us today. Welcome 0:00:43.080 --> 0:00:47.200 Patrice for Washington. Hey, thank you for having me back. 0:00:47.280 --> 0:00:50.240 And I'm doing a little jazz hands over here as well, 0:00:50.240 --> 0:00:52.879 in your honor. Yes, I can hear it. I can 0:00:52.880 --> 0:00:53.640 hear the jazz hands. 0:00:55.160 --> 0:00:56.680 It's so good to have you back on the show. 0:00:57.960 --> 0:01:00.680 I know, I can't believe it's been two years. So 0:01:00.800 --> 0:01:02.360 congratulations to you guys. 0:01:02.560 --> 0:01:04.400 We're in a terrible twos is your thing. 0:01:04.840 --> 0:01:06.920 You're get terrible toos. You'll get past it. 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:11.119 So for those of you, first of all, at this point, 0:01:11.160 --> 0:01:13.000 if you're listening and you want to know who Patri says, 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:14.360 you have to go back to one of our early 0:01:14.400 --> 0:01:18.080 episodes when we first talked to Patrise aka America's Money Maven. 0:01:18.959 --> 0:01:20.759 Go listen to that show, then come back because we're 0:01:20.760 --> 0:01:22.680 about to catch up with Patrese and I want to 0:01:22.720 --> 0:01:25.520 hear everything about where have you been these past two years? 0:01:25.560 --> 0:01:26.720 Where are you going? 0:01:26.800 --> 0:01:28.080 Where have you been? Where are you going? 0:01:28.120 --> 0:01:31.319 Where's your business? Are you still on the Steve Harvey Show, 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:34.120 What's happening? What's happening in the Patrise universe? 0:01:35.080 --> 0:01:37.240 Oh my gosh, So where have I been? It's been 0:01:37.280 --> 0:01:40.520 about two years. And it's funny. About two years ago, 0:01:41.000 --> 0:01:44.280 I was actually in the kitchen with my daughter. I 0:01:44.280 --> 0:01:46.200 had just come off a book tour and I was 0:01:46.240 --> 0:01:49.440 in the kitchen with my daughter pretending to cook because 0:01:49.520 --> 0:01:51.080 y'all know I'm not a real cook, but I was 0:01:51.120 --> 0:01:53.720 trying to do a little something something and my daughter 0:01:53.800 --> 0:01:55.600 was trying to tell me this story Mandy, and she 0:01:55.680 --> 0:01:59.320 called me my nanny's name like three times in a row. Oh, 0:02:00.000 --> 0:02:02.880 I'm like, why does she keep calling me miss Angela? 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:06.600 You know? And here's the deal. Have any kids, or 0:02:06.640 --> 0:02:09.200 ever see any kids? Met a kid. You ask a 0:02:09.240 --> 0:02:11.240 little kid a real question, They're going to give you 0:02:11.280 --> 0:02:13.680 a real answer. And I asked her, like, why do 0:02:13.720 --> 0:02:16.320 you keep calling me miss Angela? And essentially she kept 0:02:16.320 --> 0:02:19.520 it all the way real. She's like, because I talked 0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:22.240 to her all the time, and that really hurt. 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:23.760 How was she like? 0:02:24.639 --> 0:02:27.880 She was about six? You know, I'm sorry, No, she 0:02:27.960 --> 0:02:31.320 was just she was just about to turn seven. And 0:02:32.080 --> 0:02:35.000 it was one of those aha moments where you're like, 0:02:35.080 --> 0:02:38.760 wait a minute. As much as I enjoy being America's 0:02:38.760 --> 0:02:41.959 money Maven and doing my thing on the Steve Harvey 0:02:42.040 --> 0:02:45.560 Show and speaking all over the country and interview after interview, 0:02:45.560 --> 0:02:48.560 as much as I enjoy all of that, like my 0:02:48.720 --> 0:02:52.960 number one responsibility is to be this child's mother. You know, 0:02:53.240 --> 0:02:55.160 guy asked to have her, she didn't ask for me, 0:02:55.680 --> 0:02:59.360 and so it's to be her mother. And it was 0:02:59.400 --> 0:03:02.120 a reminder that I never wanted to be a public 0:03:02.160 --> 0:03:06.880 success and a private failure. And in that moment I 0:03:06.919 --> 0:03:09.760 started to really strategize and think about how I could 0:03:09.800 --> 0:03:12.200 take a few steps back. So I know, for a 0:03:12.200 --> 0:03:14.600 lot of people, it doesn't seem like I've disappeared, because 0:03:14.600 --> 0:03:17.680 I've been all over the place, still doing a lot, 0:03:17.800 --> 0:03:22.240 but I've been so much more intentional and strategic about 0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:27.920 my family time and how that really connects to this 0:03:28.080 --> 0:03:31.280 pursuit of me being America's money Maven and living in 0:03:31.320 --> 0:03:34.200 my purpose and doing all this work I really love. 0:03:34.560 --> 0:03:38.040 But I was struggling. Honestly, I was losing focus at 0:03:38.040 --> 0:03:40.040 that time and thinking that if I just kept going 0:03:40.040 --> 0:03:41.640 and going and going, which I know a lot of 0:03:41.640 --> 0:03:44.600 people can relate to that, you know, we're kind of 0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:47.760 chasing that next shiny object. But in that moment, I 0:03:47.800 --> 0:03:51.000 realized that wasn't it. So for the last two years, 0:03:51.080 --> 0:03:53.960 I've really been pulling back a little bit. And it's 0:03:53.960 --> 0:03:56.200 funny because you know, I talk about this all the 0:03:56.240 --> 0:03:58.760 time and people are like, man, so you work that 0:03:58.920 --> 0:04:02.480 hard and you just gave up all your money. Actually, no, 0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:05.800 that's not what happened. I started to go on the 0:04:05.880 --> 0:04:09.960 road less, but I leveraged the fewer opportunities that I 0:04:10.000 --> 0:04:14.320 was taking and I actually made more money hallelujah, since 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:16.040 I haven't been doing the same amount of work. 0:04:16.560 --> 0:04:19.200 This is the this is what you needed. This is 0:04:19.279 --> 0:04:21.520 what you were talking about the last episode. 0:04:21.560 --> 0:04:23.480 Me and Patritz we talk on the side. 0:04:23.880 --> 0:04:25.440 Okay, so I'm. 0:04:25.279 --> 0:04:28.320 Trying to hold back to tears and the church rate 0:04:28.800 --> 0:04:32.760 so because it is exactly what I have been wanted. 0:04:32.839 --> 0:04:34.520 Like Mandy and I, you know, we talked candidly on 0:04:34.560 --> 0:04:38.400 the show with our listeners, and you know, I it's 0:04:38.600 --> 0:04:41.920 just because you love it, you know, and you can't like. 0:04:42.279 --> 0:04:44.279 But at the same time, I'm like, oh, I'm a 0:04:44.320 --> 0:04:48.120 new wife, I'm a bonus mom, and I'm making the 0:04:48.200 --> 0:04:54.719 transition into not always working. Has been really hard because 0:04:54.760 --> 0:04:59.680 it's not like I dislike the work. Yeah, I don't 0:04:59.720 --> 0:05:02.919 want to look up and you know, you know, I 0:05:03.160 --> 0:05:06.520 my husband and my bonus baby and the baby that 0:05:06.600 --> 0:05:09.479 I want to have. Nobody knows me, you know. Yeah, 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:13.720 YEA was struggling with that transition of how do I 0:05:13.839 --> 0:05:16.120 to pull back? So listen, that's why kids conversation we're 0:05:16.120 --> 0:05:19.320 going to have today of redefining wealth if I can 0:05:19.360 --> 0:05:21.520 sid Yeah, awesome. 0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:24.240 So what are some of the things you did, Patrice 0:05:24.279 --> 0:05:27.440 to leverage so you you're scaling back in some ways, 0:05:27.480 --> 0:05:30.760 and you said, just focusing on the opportunities that really 0:05:31.000 --> 0:05:33.880 have value for you. I'm assuming financially, but then also 0:05:34.040 --> 0:05:36.320 just fulfillment wise. I mean, what are some of the 0:05:36.880 --> 0:05:38.280 you know, what are some of the steps you really 0:05:38.279 --> 0:05:42.400 took to to to recalibrate how you were approaching your business. 0:05:43.120 --> 0:05:45.240 Well, one of the first things I had to do 0:05:45.360 --> 0:05:49.320 was get clarity around who I really was. Like for me, 0:05:49.560 --> 0:05:52.240 not being on the road so much, literally gave me 0:05:52.360 --> 0:05:56.280 time to not be so obligated to delivering other people's 0:05:56.320 --> 0:05:59.400 sound bites, you know, because I was getting invited to 0:05:59.480 --> 0:06:03.039 do a lot of interviews and television and radio, and 0:06:03.120 --> 0:06:04.960 so you have to speak in these, you know, very 0:06:05.000 --> 0:06:08.440 concise soundbites. But I was being requested for the same 0:06:08.560 --> 0:06:11.400 topics right over and over and over again. And so 0:06:11.480 --> 0:06:13.880 when I had some time to sit back, I was like, 0:06:14.640 --> 0:06:18.760 this isn't even you anymore now, Like that doesn't even 0:06:18.800 --> 0:06:21.719 make you happy. You are not pumped up and super 0:06:21.800 --> 0:06:26.360 jazzed about talking about budgets anymore, or talking about credit 0:06:26.400 --> 0:06:29.719 reports or talk like that just doesn't make you happy anymore. 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:32.760 And so that was one of the first ways I 0:06:32.760 --> 0:06:34.839 started to evaluate what I would do and what I 0:06:34.839 --> 0:06:38.919 wouldn't was by getting really clear about what did fulfill me, 0:06:39.200 --> 0:06:41.520 what piece of this whole, because there's so much. We 0:06:41.600 --> 0:06:44.120 all have our part, right, like we all I met 0:06:44.160 --> 0:06:46.960 you guys at a personal finance you know conference at 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:49.320 fin Con and stuff, and we all offer our own 0:06:49.400 --> 0:06:53.120 little secret sauce to this whole you know, environment of 0:06:53.160 --> 0:06:56.200 personal finance. And I was like, there are people out 0:06:56.240 --> 0:06:59.000 there who will cover that what feels right for you, 0:06:59.560 --> 0:07:02.640 like what really speaks to your heart, speaks to your soul, 0:07:02.680 --> 0:07:05.920 speaks to your journey. And once I got really clear 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:08.800 on that, it became easier to just cross things off 0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:11.480 the list. Because we would talk to people, you know, 0:07:11.560 --> 0:07:13.600 when people would pitch me on coming to things or 0:07:13.640 --> 0:07:15.840 being a part of things, we would say, okay, well, 0:07:15.840 --> 0:07:18.120 Patrice would like to steer the conversation this way is 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:20.320 are you okay with that? And some people will be like, no, 0:07:20.400 --> 0:07:23.560 we need your one, two, three bullet points on this 0:07:23.800 --> 0:07:27.760 very specific topic. And I'm like, nah, it's okay. Like 0:07:27.840 --> 0:07:30.440 I'm not gonna leave my kid to go be disgruntled 0:07:30.440 --> 0:07:37.040 somewhere for what I could be disgruntled at the PTA meeting, 0:07:37.160 --> 0:07:39.840 Like no, I'm okay, you know, I don't. I don't 0:07:39.840 --> 0:07:41.320 have to leave my house to go and do that. 0:07:41.480 --> 0:07:44.600 I'm not. You know, that's what we work for, Tiffany, right, 0:07:44.800 --> 0:07:48.120 Like you work to build something that gives you freedom, 0:07:48.760 --> 0:07:51.840 but we turn around and become a slave to it, yes, 0:07:53.640 --> 0:07:56.200 or a preacher to the choir, yeah, you know. And 0:07:56.240 --> 0:07:59.120 I was like, man, I'm a slave to these sound bites. 0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:01.200 I don't want to live like this. I truly want 0:08:01.280 --> 0:08:03.760 to talk about what God puts on my heart. And 0:08:03.840 --> 0:08:06.680 so the first thing was like really getting clarity around 0:08:06.680 --> 0:08:09.560 what that was because I knew it was something, but 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:11.440 I'm gonna I'm gonna keep it real. Like at first 0:08:11.480 --> 0:08:13.320 I couldn't tell what it was. That was just kind 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:16.000 of vexing my spirit. You haven't just been like like 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:20.040 an uneasiness and you know that like you gotta shift, 0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:22.560 but you don't know to where or to what or how. 0:08:22.720 --> 0:08:25.600 You just feel something is like not right. So that's 0:08:25.640 --> 0:08:28.080 what it was. So taking a step back agatting clarity 0:08:29.160 --> 0:08:32.319 was a really really big one, and then putting people 0:08:33.120 --> 0:08:35.720 in place around me, on my team to help hold 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:40.000 me accountable to that, because that's the other thing. You know, 0:08:40.120 --> 0:08:42.520 we become a slave to it. And it's like people 0:08:42.600 --> 0:08:46.360 dangle dollars in front of you, like, I mean, I could, 0:08:47.040 --> 0:08:49.520 I guess I could come back one day, you know, 0:08:49.800 --> 0:08:51.800 if I make it a quick trip. If I do this, 0:08:51.920 --> 0:08:54.120 you know, if you try to rationalize or as I 0:08:54.200 --> 0:08:57.079 like to say, rational out lies to yourself. So I 0:08:57.120 --> 0:08:59.319 would try to rationalize, and so I hired one of 0:08:59.360 --> 0:09:02.240 my good friends to support me, and I got some 0:09:02.280 --> 0:09:05.520 really great team members in place who helped me set 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:08.880 up systems so that I wouldn't even hear about some 0:09:08.920 --> 0:09:12.160 of the opportunities that were just not a fit. Like 0:09:12.280 --> 0:09:14.680 they would go through the process, take in the form, 0:09:14.800 --> 0:09:18.240 make the call, talk to people you know, do their research, 0:09:18.400 --> 0:09:21.120 and then if they determined based on what we talked 0:09:21.160 --> 0:09:23.679 about being a fit versus a non fit, if they 0:09:23.760 --> 0:09:25.800 determined that it wasn't a fit, no one would ever 0:09:25.840 --> 0:09:30.000 tell me. And that was the best because it didn't 0:09:30.000 --> 0:09:32.320 even bog me down, you know, like I wouldn't even 0:09:32.360 --> 0:09:35.160 think about things because again I would try to justify 0:09:35.200 --> 0:09:38.480 things like, oh, I remember they hired me to do 0:09:38.559 --> 0:09:41.400 such and such back in two thousand tens, Like I 0:09:41.440 --> 0:09:45.520 would be doing all these little justifications. And once the 0:09:45.640 --> 0:09:48.040 team got in place and we put systems and kind 0:09:48.080 --> 0:09:51.600 of rules in place, man that freedom so much it 0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:55.240 was awesome. And then I wasn't everywhere, so I could 0:09:55.320 --> 0:09:58.160 leverage that and charge charge more. 0:09:58.440 --> 0:10:02.800 Essentially, Yeah, both of you guys have, like I mean, 0:10:02.840 --> 0:10:05.400 a big part of your business is speaking engagements, right, 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:07.480 I mean, that's a lucrative part of your business. I 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:10.160 don't know what portion of it is. I'm not really asking, 0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:13.520 but I feel like that is how can you turn 0:10:13.600 --> 0:10:16.360 down those big juicy opportunities. I mean, and part of 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:19.760 like the entrepreneurial reality is like, you know, you have 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:21.960 an opportunity in front of you, and that idea of 0:10:21.960 --> 0:10:24.439 that scarcity mindset, like oh my, if I turn this down, 0:10:24.520 --> 0:10:28.520 will there be another one? Will there be another one? 0:10:29.000 --> 0:10:30.079 How have you dealt with that? 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:34.480 Really? I totally can identify with that. I went through 0:10:34.720 --> 0:10:37.120 the fear, you know, I went through fomo fear of 0:10:37.200 --> 0:10:39.640 missing out. Oh my gosh, what's gonna happen? Look at 0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:41.280 all the people that are gonna be there. Maybe I 0:10:41.320 --> 0:10:44.760 should be there, Maybe it should be networking. But one 0:10:44.760 --> 0:10:47.520 of the things when I knew about different things we 0:10:47.520 --> 0:10:51.880 were turning down, I've been really intentional about taking those 0:10:51.880 --> 0:10:55.559 same days or weekends and deliberately spending time with my 0:10:55.640 --> 0:10:59.760 family or doing something that really made me feel like, oh, 0:10:59.800 --> 0:11:02.160 you know what, I didn't miss anything because this is 0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:05.520 where it was at, Like this, putting makeup on with 0:11:05.559 --> 0:11:08.320 my daughter, letting her tell me I want mommy, I 0:11:08.360 --> 0:11:13.560 want you to beat my face. Oh no. And we 0:11:13.640 --> 0:11:16.600 had a little music makeup in mimosas with Apple cider, 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:21.040 of course, but us having that moment and just spending 0:11:21.040 --> 0:11:24.960 that type of time. Honestly, it fulfilled me in such 0:11:24.960 --> 0:11:27.560 a way, like it makes me so happy that it 0:11:27.600 --> 0:11:30.840 also provided like the peace of mind and clarity to 0:11:30.880 --> 0:11:33.520 go create what did fit? You know, So a lot 0:11:33.520 --> 0:11:36.600 of things have happened over these last couple of years, 0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:39.720 Like this past year, I launched a whole new website 0:11:39.800 --> 0:11:44.360 at Patreseashington dot com, and I really put time into 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:47.360 thinking about what are the things that have truly helped 0:11:47.360 --> 0:11:49.559 me rebuild. So when you guys go back and listen 0:11:49.559 --> 0:11:51.920 to my first episode, I'm sure you'll hear my story 0:11:52.320 --> 0:11:55.960 about going from you know, a seven figure business I 0:11:56.000 --> 0:11:58.520 built out of college, to losing it all in the recession, 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:01.560 scraping up change, living on my brother's couch in two 0:12:01.600 --> 0:12:05.560 thousand and nine to rebuilding everything and becoming America's money Maven. 0:12:06.240 --> 0:12:08.680 And one of the things I got clear on during 0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:11.360 that time is that I really felt like I was 0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:13.959 starting to do people a disservice by not telling them 0:12:13.960 --> 0:12:16.360 my full story. You know, It's like, how do you 0:12:16.440 --> 0:12:18.600 end up? How do you go from your brother's couch 0:12:19.040 --> 0:12:21.280 to now you're sitting on this couch across from Steve 0:12:21.320 --> 0:12:24.520 Harvey on his talk show every month, like little something 0:12:24.559 --> 0:12:27.400 happened in between you think like maybe maybe there's some 0:12:27.480 --> 0:12:30.240 things that we could talk about. And because I only 0:12:30.280 --> 0:12:33.160 ever had time to talk in sound bites, right, Like, 0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:35.840 I never could really get into it the way that 0:12:35.920 --> 0:12:39.439 I wanted to. And so over the last year and 0:12:39.520 --> 0:12:42.199 a half it was really like just heavy on me, 0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:44.280 Like you need to create something so you can tell 0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:47.360 your own story, so that you can share the things 0:12:47.360 --> 0:12:49.920 that you've done that have helped you. Like, of what 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:53.520 other place would I be able to talk about you know, music, 0:12:53.559 --> 0:12:57.400 makeup and mimosas with my daughter, slash apple cider with 0:12:57.440 --> 0:12:59.400 my daughter, Like where else could I really talk about that? 0:12:59.520 --> 0:13:01.600 Not on the Steve Harvey Show. I mean, shout out 0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:04.240 to see I love them, but not there. They don't 0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:06.400 want to hear that I'm the money Maven. So I 0:13:06.480 --> 0:13:09.000 got to only talk about money and that's it. But 0:13:09.080 --> 0:13:11.720 I really believe and have believed for a long time, 0:13:12.400 --> 0:13:14.680 as I'm sure I said in that interview before that 0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:17.400 building wealth has one hundred percent nothing to do with money. 0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:20.480 It has one hundred percent everything to do with us 0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:23.880 in our mindsets towards money. And I believe that your 0:13:23.920 --> 0:13:26.920 mindset really dictates what your habits are and there were 0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:32.360 some really you know, deliberate and specific habits that I've 0:13:32.400 --> 0:13:35.880 developed over the last several years. But I wasn't comfortable 0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:38.120 getting out of that box at first, Like I said that, 0:13:38.200 --> 0:13:40.080 fear of like, oh, this is what they brought me 0:13:40.120 --> 0:13:42.800 here to do. I wasn't comfortable getting out of the box. 0:13:42.840 --> 0:13:45.079 And so like the last year and a half, I've 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:47.880 been like, that's it. I'm out the box. Like I 0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:51.120 got to get out the box by any means necessary. 0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:55.000 And that's where, like my whole tagline chase purpose not money. 0:13:55.280 --> 0:13:57.960 I don't only say that to encourage other people. That's 0:13:58.000 --> 0:14:01.720 a reminder to myself, like every day that I got 0:14:01.720 --> 0:14:04.000 to do things that fit who I am now, not 0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:08.280 who the money maybe it was in twenty ten. No, 0:14:08.440 --> 0:14:10.880 I love that. So what would you say, because I 0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:14.160 know you have your podcast and the uh is it 0:14:14.200 --> 0:14:19.080 called Redefining Wealth? Yeah, it's called the Redefining Wealth Podcast. Yeah, 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:23.120 So if if you were to define wealth personally for yourself, 0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:25.080 so you know, many people would be like wealth is 0:14:25.120 --> 0:14:28.040 having you know, a million dollars in the bank or whatever. 0:14:28.360 --> 0:14:32.240 What is your personal definition of wealth for you? My 0:14:32.400 --> 0:14:35.920 personal definition of wealth is the freedom to do what 0:14:36.000 --> 0:14:39.600 I want, when I want, with people I want to 0:14:39.640 --> 0:14:43.800 do it with. It's literally just freedom. And that was 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:47.160 the thing Tiff, like, I looked up long ago. But 0:14:47.240 --> 0:14:50.080 it's funny, like I looked it up a long time ago. 0:14:50.200 --> 0:14:52.640 I would say, maybe like two thousand and eight or nine. 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:56.320 This is around the time that I had lost everything 0:14:56.520 --> 0:14:59.080 and I looked up for some reason. I was probably 0:14:59.400 --> 0:15:02.400 blogging around in an article. But the definition of wealth, 0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:05.120 and so when you look at it, the first few 0:15:05.160 --> 0:15:09.520 definitions are all about material possessions and money and assets, 0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:11.200 and it's all the stuff that we think of. And 0:15:11.240 --> 0:15:14.360 if if you're a millennial who's connected on social media, 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:17.520 you think wealth is yachts and true and like luxury 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:21.200 travel and cars or shoes or whatever you think it is. 0:15:21.480 --> 0:15:24.320 But when you dig really deep the if you look 0:15:24.320 --> 0:15:28.080 at most online dictionaries, for sure, you'll see like seventh 0:15:28.320 --> 0:15:31.800 eighth definition all the way down. It says on a 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:34.360 lot of them, the twelfth century definition of wealth means 0:15:34.400 --> 0:15:40.440 well being, like the true like weao, wealth is well 0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:44.360 being and thh the condition. So back in the day, 0:15:44.640 --> 0:15:48.320 way back in the day, people considered wealth more like happiness. 0:15:48.840 --> 0:15:51.880 And it's so funny how we have totally gone, you know, 0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:55.040 to the extreme. On the other side of wealth is 0:15:55.120 --> 0:15:57.920 just stuff. But I think we all know for ourselves 0:15:58.080 --> 0:16:00.560 or no people who will tell us for sure that 0:16:00.640 --> 0:16:04.160 stuff doesn't make you happy. Yeah, so those are not though, 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:06.560 like those are not usually exclusive, you know, like that 0:16:06.640 --> 0:16:10.080 does not have to work hand in hand. And when 0:16:10.080 --> 0:16:13.840 I really thought about during this kind of mini sabbatical 0:16:13.880 --> 0:16:16.320 I've had, when I really thought about it and thought 0:16:16.320 --> 0:16:19.280 about my life from two thousand and seven, when the 0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:22.240 recession began for me and I started to kind of 0:16:22.320 --> 0:16:24.680 spiral down. By two thousand and nine, I was on 0:16:24.720 --> 0:16:27.360 that couch and when I thought about that, the things 0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:32.240 that I was doing every day, it really had to 0:16:32.240 --> 0:16:34.760 do with all these other areas of my life. Yes, 0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:37.000 I was focused on my finances, but there's only so 0:16:37.080 --> 0:16:39.360 much you can do every day on your finances, Like 0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:41.760 there's twenty four hours in the day. Like you can't 0:16:41.840 --> 0:16:44.360 sit and look at your budget all day, or you 0:16:44.400 --> 0:16:46.800 can't like run your credit over and over again, or 0:16:47.360 --> 0:16:50.200 didn't watch your stocks or whatever like all day. There's 0:16:50.240 --> 0:16:52.640 other habits that you got to have in place. And 0:16:53.080 --> 0:16:57.640 I just picked up some through research, some through coaching, 0:16:57.760 --> 0:17:01.560 some through mentorship and some through that just happened intuitively, 0:17:02.320 --> 0:17:04.520 because you know, like I said, I was pretty successful 0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:08.040 before all the recession and all that. I just started 0:17:08.040 --> 0:17:10.159 looking at the different areas of my life that I 0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:13.760 really felt like had contributed to my wealth, contributed to 0:17:14.000 --> 0:17:17.920 me being where I am today, And money was definitely one, 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:21.160 my work was one, but there were other areas that 0:17:21.240 --> 0:17:24.639 I feel like just as much contributed. And that's what 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:27.120 I wanted to share with other people, Like, maybe if 0:17:27.119 --> 0:17:29.480 you feel like you've been stuck and you've been trying 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:31.080 to do all the right things with your money and 0:17:31.080 --> 0:17:34.320 you're still not getting ahead, maybe you gotta consider looking 0:17:34.359 --> 0:17:36.359 at some other areas of your life to help you 0:17:36.400 --> 0:17:38.520 get unstuck and get you closer to what you say 0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:39.640 you want. 0:17:40.000 --> 0:17:44.400 M What do you think it is that holds people back? 0:17:44.480 --> 0:17:46.800 Like we get, you know, we get questions about that. 0:17:46.880 --> 0:17:49.119 I actually just listened to a whole podcast about the 0:17:49.160 --> 0:17:52.399 idea of being stuck. Like someone who's stuck and maybe 0:17:52.440 --> 0:17:54.879 doesn't have the resources or doesn't think they have the 0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:57.359 resources to get out of a certain situation or to 0:17:57.440 --> 0:18:00.320 leave the job they're unhappy with. I mean, would you 0:18:00.359 --> 0:18:03.120 say to people in those situations, you weren't starting from 0:18:03.119 --> 0:18:05.760 a place where they are their own boss, you know, 0:18:05.840 --> 0:18:07.680 like some entrepreneurs are. 0:18:08.840 --> 0:18:11.720 Well. One of the things that helped me get unstuck 0:18:12.160 --> 0:18:16.040 during that period, in particular when I did lose everything, 0:18:16.359 --> 0:18:18.440 because you know, I like, like I said, I went 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:20.960 from a seven figure business to scraping of change, you know, 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:25.159 so that comes with all of the fear of you know, 0:18:25.240 --> 0:18:29.119 people finding out, the guilt, the embarrassment, the shame, the 0:18:29.200 --> 0:18:32.600 how did I do this? Like what is wrong with me? 0:18:33.160 --> 0:18:35.840 And so for a period there, it was a short period, 0:18:35.840 --> 0:18:37.800 but it was a period nonetheless where I just felt 0:18:37.840 --> 0:18:41.080 like a failure and it was like you've lost it. 0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:43.679 And I mean I was like twenty six years old, 0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:46.560 and it felt like your life is over, You're done, 0:18:46.840 --> 0:18:52.160 like you're a rap, you know. And in redefining well, 0:18:52.359 --> 0:18:55.040 one of the first pillars is called fit, and fit 0:18:55.160 --> 0:18:57.760 is about becoming your best self. And so a lot 0:18:57.800 --> 0:19:00.000 of people tend to further their brows sometimes when they 0:19:00.080 --> 0:19:02.560 hear me talk about fit because they think I'm automatically 0:19:02.600 --> 0:19:06.320 talking about physical fitness, which is one component. But the 0:19:06.400 --> 0:19:09.600 other thing I had to get really clear on was 0:19:09.840 --> 0:19:13.359 my mental fitness and when you have been through different 0:19:13.400 --> 0:19:16.640 things or failures or stepbacks, and you have been so 0:19:16.680 --> 0:19:20.800 beat up by life, you know, your mind can go 0:19:20.840 --> 0:19:23.760 to some dark places. Not sure if anyone's ever been there, 0:19:24.040 --> 0:19:26.879 you know, you guys, but your mind can go to 0:19:26.920 --> 0:19:30.239 some dark places. And one of the things that I 0:19:30.280 --> 0:19:34.439 really needed to work through was just giving myself permission 0:19:36.400 --> 0:19:39.720 mentally first and foremost to accept that I was in 0:19:39.800 --> 0:19:41.960 a bad spot, like I had lost all my money, 0:19:41.960 --> 0:19:45.359 but my mind was not bad, you know, like this 0:19:45.520 --> 0:19:49.959 was literally an event, this is not you. And to 0:19:49.960 --> 0:19:53.200 get unstuck. Some things that I did do was use 0:19:53.280 --> 0:19:56.840 like community resources for therapy when I lived in Atlanta, 0:19:57.200 --> 0:20:00.639 because I needed to talk to somebody, like my family 0:20:00.720 --> 0:20:02.960 wasn't getting it. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna lie, 0:20:03.040 --> 0:20:07.080 and I'm a big believer and a spiritual person and stuff, 0:20:07.359 --> 0:20:09.600 but folks telling me to pray about it wasn't helping either, 0:20:09.960 --> 0:20:12.800 Like it just wasn't getting me over the hump. I 0:20:12.840 --> 0:20:14.720 would pray about it, feel like Okay, I left it 0:20:14.760 --> 0:20:17.680 on the altar or whatever, and then like a couple 0:20:17.720 --> 0:20:21.640 hours later, I'd be like, you know, like what happened 0:20:21.640 --> 0:20:24.200 to my life? How did I get here, especially when 0:20:24.200 --> 0:20:26.600 I was coming home the notices on the door and 0:20:26.720 --> 0:20:30.240 all kind of stuff like, So going to therapy really 0:20:30.280 --> 0:20:36.199 helped me separate who I was from what had happened, okay, 0:20:36.440 --> 0:20:38.800 and not make those all one thing. And once I 0:20:38.880 --> 0:20:43.400 was able to take like a step back or even 0:20:43.440 --> 0:20:45.360 like a bird's eye view and kind of hover over 0:20:45.560 --> 0:20:48.960 this is the situation that's going on, like look down 0:20:49.040 --> 0:20:52.119 on that and try to, you know, move the pieces 0:20:52.160 --> 0:20:53.960 around best you can. But when you're in it, you 0:20:54.000 --> 0:20:56.639 can't see it. Like when I was in it, I 0:20:56.680 --> 0:20:59.200 had done everything that I could do, so I really 0:20:59.200 --> 0:21:02.800 felt like I had no other alternatives, Like I was 0:21:02.880 --> 0:21:05.159 exhausted and just sick and tired of being sick and 0:21:05.200 --> 0:21:07.880 tired at that time. And so one of the things 0:21:07.920 --> 0:21:11.080 I always share with people is if you really feel stuck, 0:21:11.600 --> 0:21:16.000 faith is one way to kind of help you move 0:21:16.040 --> 0:21:18.880 on or get out of that. But becoming mentally fit 0:21:18.960 --> 0:21:21.840 and talking to someone, talking to a professional, like I 0:21:21.880 --> 0:21:24.160 tell people, what if your success is on the other 0:21:24.200 --> 0:21:28.280 side of you, like sitting on somebody's couch and just saying, like, 0:21:28.320 --> 0:21:29.919 you know what, I don't know what, I don't know, 0:21:30.080 --> 0:21:32.840 but I know this isn't right and I need something, 0:21:33.080 --> 0:21:35.720 and so therapy was a big, big help for me, 0:21:37.160 --> 0:21:40.920 still is to this day. So I met with my 0:21:40.960 --> 0:21:43.640 accountant today. I was finally paying my quarter three taxes 0:21:43.680 --> 0:21:47.200 of all late but whatever, they're paid. And I was 0:21:47.240 --> 0:21:50.720 asking him because sometimes you know, there's so many numbers, numbers, numbers, 0:21:50.720 --> 0:21:52.800 and I said, okay, so you know how much did 0:21:52.840 --> 0:21:54.760 I make for the year? And he was sharing and 0:21:54.760 --> 0:21:58.280 I was like, okay, how come I'm that? And I 0:21:58.280 --> 0:22:00.239 told him. I was like, how come and I'm I mean, 0:22:00.240 --> 0:22:02.280 I'm frugal by nature just because I just I guess 0:22:02.320 --> 0:22:04.639 I grew up frugal. But I was like, dang, you 0:22:04.680 --> 0:22:07.280 know this is like what you know, I'm sure you 0:22:07.320 --> 0:22:10.919 know doctor's make right, like like all paid doctor And 0:22:10.960 --> 0:22:13.200 he was like yeah, if not more. I said, well, 0:22:13.600 --> 0:22:15.959 how come I'm not living in one of those big houses. 0:22:16.000 --> 0:22:17.320 I mean I did just buy a house, but those 0:22:17.359 --> 0:22:19.720 big houses on the hill. And he was like, can 0:22:19.760 --> 0:22:21.800 I let you in on a little secret because he 0:22:21.840 --> 0:22:24.280 does a lot of taxes. He was like, many of 0:22:24.320 --> 0:22:27.320 those doctors that live on the hill are broke. Yeah, 0:22:27.400 --> 0:22:29.640 they can't afford it. Yeah, so why do you think 0:22:29.680 --> 0:22:32.520 we do that? So what pillar kind of addresses that 0:22:32.520 --> 0:22:36.520 that of your redefining wealth. Why is it that someone 0:22:36.600 --> 0:22:40.359 who's making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year puts 0:22:40.400 --> 0:22:43.439 themselves in a position that to not be able to 0:22:43.560 --> 0:22:47.760 really afford their life? Why do we do that? You 0:22:47.800 --> 0:22:51.040 know what, It's funny you ask which pillar because it's 0:22:51.080 --> 0:22:54.080 really all of them. Like my big thing with reader 0:22:54.480 --> 0:22:57.439 defining wealth, a part of my big thing one is 0:22:57.440 --> 0:22:59.840 living your life's purpose, but the other is finding fulfillment. 0:23:00.280 --> 0:23:02.960 And a lot of people make those decisions because they're 0:23:02.960 --> 0:23:07.159 trying to fill a void. Right, So if you are 0:23:07.200 --> 0:23:10.080 trying to fill the void of maybe some relationships that 0:23:10.119 --> 0:23:14.160 didn't work out, but it could be with parents or family, friends, whatever, 0:23:14.480 --> 0:23:17.320 and you're on this constant chase to prove yourself, then 0:23:17.359 --> 0:23:19.920 you make those types of decisions. You don't know that 0:23:19.920 --> 0:23:22.080 that's why you're doing it. You're not aware of it 0:23:22.280 --> 0:23:24.880 until you go go back and maybe do some work 0:23:24.920 --> 0:23:27.760 and look at that first pillar with the mental fitness piece. 0:23:27.840 --> 0:23:30.880 But a lot of people just they aren't even aware 0:23:31.240 --> 0:23:34.280 that they're doing it. Like that's why I talked about 0:23:34.359 --> 0:23:38.320 rationalizing and rationing out lies, Like we tell ourselves so 0:23:38.440 --> 0:23:41.200 many lies and we don't consider them to be lies. 0:23:41.240 --> 0:23:43.400 But we create these stories in our mind and then 0:23:43.400 --> 0:23:46.800 we justify them, and we can justify them to the 0:23:46.840 --> 0:23:48.680 cows come home. But at the end of the day, 0:23:49.600 --> 0:23:51.440 like right as right as mc granny used to saying, 0:23:51.440 --> 0:23:53.760 wrong is wrong. If there's wrong, it's wrong, and if 0:23:53.760 --> 0:23:56.600 your accountant tells you it's wrong, it's probably definitely wrong. 0:23:57.080 --> 0:24:00.399 But all of these areas for me, these pills, like 0:24:00.440 --> 0:24:02.879 I really believe when people are just because you're a doctor, 0:24:02.880 --> 0:24:05.840 that doesn't mean you love it. Just because you're a lawyer, 0:24:05.920 --> 0:24:07.680 that doesn't mean you love it. As a matter of fact, 0:24:07.720 --> 0:24:09.520 most of my friends who are lawyers kind of hate 0:24:09.520 --> 0:24:12.639 it in some former fashion. They're always complaining about it, 0:24:12.680 --> 0:24:15.920 even though they make great money. And so the workpiece, 0:24:15.960 --> 0:24:20.280 which is about living out your life's purpose, I speak 0:24:20.320 --> 0:24:22.120 to the fact that there are a lot of us 0:24:22.160 --> 0:24:28.240 who made career choices in particular because we were advised to. 0:24:29.080 --> 0:24:32.560 Because I know, tif you're Nigerian and I'm Bellegian. You know, 0:24:33.359 --> 0:24:36.199 they can be very persuasive parents who's trying to you know, 0:24:36.240 --> 0:24:39.719 you got about three or four options to work from. 0:24:39.800 --> 0:24:41.760 You know, I didn't go down that path. So my 0:24:41.840 --> 0:24:44.840 dad was very disappointed that I wasn't an attorney, a doctor, 0:24:44.880 --> 0:24:51.320 a pharmacist or whatever. Those are the big three, you know, 0:24:51.480 --> 0:24:54.400 so when you are not, I really believe that when 0:24:54.440 --> 0:24:57.320 people are not living in their purpose, it is really 0:24:57.400 --> 0:25:00.880 easy for them to not be able to say priorities 0:25:01.640 --> 0:25:05.840 because you're trying to fill the void. So if what 0:25:05.880 --> 0:25:09.040 you're doing day in and day out does not really 0:25:09.680 --> 0:25:12.800 just fill you with joy, you know, and just true 0:25:13.200 --> 0:25:15.199 make you feel like, man, this is what I'm here for, 0:25:15.280 --> 0:25:18.280 this is what I was called to do, then you 0:25:18.400 --> 0:25:20.199 do stuff like, well, at least I got to have 0:25:20.280 --> 0:25:22.639 a house that I love that shows that like I 0:25:22.800 --> 0:25:25.560 made it, you know, or at least I have to 0:25:25.640 --> 0:25:28.119 drive nice, or at least I have to wear the 0:25:28.119 --> 0:25:31.280 best clothes. So we start to rationalize, and it happens 0:25:31.400 --> 0:25:34.080 every day, and many of us do it in different ways. 0:25:34.119 --> 0:25:36.000 Just some of us do it to our own detriment. 0:25:36.480 --> 0:25:38.919 I think everyone has a little something in them, but 0:25:39.240 --> 0:25:41.760 some of us just go way too far. But I 0:25:41.800 --> 0:25:45.200 don't believe you can recondition what you haven't recognize, and 0:25:45.200 --> 0:25:47.000 that's where we have to start, is like doing the 0:25:47.000 --> 0:25:49.040 work to recognize what are those things that kind of 0:25:49.040 --> 0:25:49.680 set us off. 0:25:50.960 --> 0:25:53.560 I feel like it's almost the curse of the word supposed, 0:25:53.840 --> 0:25:56.399 Like I'm supposed to fill in the blank. I'm supposed 0:25:56.400 --> 0:25:57.920 to have a house, I'm supposed to have a kid, 0:25:57.960 --> 0:25:59.800 I'm supposed to have the car I'm supposed to. But 0:26:00.280 --> 0:26:02.240 sometimes I want to shake people and be like, who 0:26:02.280 --> 0:26:05.200 told you you're supposed to? And I think, yeah, part 0:26:05.240 --> 0:26:08.040 of it is like you internalize. I think you grow 0:26:08.119 --> 0:26:10.040 up like you don't realize it as you're older, but 0:26:10.080 --> 0:26:13.040 you maybe internalize the ambitions of your parents or like 0:26:13.080 --> 0:26:16.679 what they think is is right. And of course social 0:26:16.720 --> 0:26:19.439 media you can you can obviously cee. You can just 0:26:19.480 --> 0:26:22.399 see everyone living their life and immediately compare yourself to it, 0:26:22.440 --> 0:26:25.399 and it'll feel like you're supposed to be doing you know, 0:26:26.160 --> 0:26:29.359 dot dot dot and I and I. I find myself 0:26:29.359 --> 0:26:34.160 now in my thirties, really pushing against that, the notions 0:26:34.200 --> 0:26:36.639 that that seem like I'm supposed to be doing this 0:26:36.720 --> 0:26:38.240 and wondering like why am I supposed to? 0:26:38.320 --> 0:26:40.080 Why am I supposed to be buying a house right now? 0:26:40.160 --> 0:26:41.840 Right just because I have money. 0:26:41.880 --> 0:26:45.359 I've got with some girlfriends just this past weekend and 0:26:45.400 --> 0:26:47.399 we were doing the cousin is supposed to. It was 0:26:47.440 --> 0:26:48.959 the should you should? 0:26:49.200 --> 0:26:49.360 Yeah. 0:26:50.320 --> 0:26:54.560 It's like we were all like you know what every time, 0:26:55.280 --> 0:26:57.840 and that especially with taking on events or going to 0:26:57.880 --> 0:27:01.280 speaking engagements, so those types of things that every time 0:27:01.359 --> 0:27:03.320 I get asked to do something, and it's not like 0:27:03.320 --> 0:27:07.520 a hell yeah, if it's remotely well, I guess I should, 0:27:07.760 --> 0:27:11.200 I stop myself, like and that has been a very 0:27:11.240 --> 0:27:14.119 conscious choice. But I realized that I was very into 0:27:14.680 --> 0:27:17.000 I mean, I guess I should do it because and 0:27:17.040 --> 0:27:20.600 then searching for the dot dot dot like, oh it 0:27:20.680 --> 0:27:23.439 might be great networking, Oh so and so is going 0:27:23.520 --> 0:27:26.600 to be there, Oh well maybe I can, and don't 0:27:26.640 --> 0:27:28.400 you know, like most of the time that stuff never 0:27:28.440 --> 0:27:31.880 pans out like very rarely. It's like, really the things 0:27:31.880 --> 0:27:34.200 that I go to where I have no expectation is 0:27:34.240 --> 0:27:37.880 where all like the juicy great stuff happens. Like the 0:27:37.920 --> 0:27:40.560 person I meet in the bathroom, you know, sitting on 0:27:40.600 --> 0:27:43.800 the random couch in the ladies room, or the person 0:27:43.800 --> 0:27:48.720 I meet broom sick about the person I meet about 0:27:48.760 --> 0:27:51.760 and like I meet in the hallway, or it's some 0:27:51.840 --> 0:27:54.439 random occurrence that I that I really couldn't have planned 0:27:54.440 --> 0:27:58.520 for any way. But the should are not always what 0:27:58.640 --> 0:28:02.199 even pans out to be any thing worthy. You know, 0:28:02.840 --> 0:28:05.679 I'm like, every time I say I should if that 0:28:05.760 --> 0:28:08.520 even comes up, then I have to examine that before 0:28:08.560 --> 0:28:13.240 I move forward. Yeah, oh my goodness. I'm just like, 0:28:13.720 --> 0:28:16.440 it's scary though to and I and I've been through 0:28:16.480 --> 0:28:20.000 so many transitions where and typically as soon as you transition, 0:28:20.160 --> 0:28:22.840 you drop right And that drop is what people are 0:28:22.840 --> 0:28:25.080 afraid of. So you know, when I transition from I 0:28:25.080 --> 0:28:27.000 don't want to do one on ones anymore, all of 0:28:27.040 --> 0:28:30.520 a sudden, I took a drop in income for the 0:28:30.600 --> 0:28:32.600 first few months, and I was like, oh, why did 0:28:32.600 --> 0:28:35.119 I do this? And then rebounded when I was like, 0:28:35.119 --> 0:28:37.200 you know what, I like doing these in person classes. 0:28:37.520 --> 0:28:38.640 And then when I said I don't want to do 0:28:38.680 --> 0:28:41.360 in person classes anymore, the drop happened. And I know 0:28:41.440 --> 0:28:45.680 that I'm ready to transition. And even though I'm like, Tippy, 0:28:45.720 --> 0:28:50.000 You're gonna be fine, it is scary to say, but 0:28:50.000 --> 0:28:52.960 but that drop. Am I gonna be okay? Am I 0:28:53.000 --> 0:28:55.080 gonna Is this the time that I'm not gonna recover 0:28:55.200 --> 0:28:57.720 from that drop? I think that's what people are afraid 0:28:57.760 --> 0:28:59.760 of most. Like, I know that I want to take 0:28:59.760 --> 0:29:02.959 a that back, and I don't even know what that 0:29:03.000 --> 0:29:05.080 looks like in some way, in so many ways I have, 0:29:05.240 --> 0:29:07.600 and then I filled it with other things. I'm like, oh, 0:29:07.680 --> 0:29:13.360 you know what, I want to do these things. I'm 0:29:13.400 --> 0:29:17.080 so busy today. Honestly though, I had a terrible day 0:29:17.560 --> 0:29:19.840 and I was like and normally like I'm really up 0:29:20.240 --> 0:29:22.600 upbeat and have to go lucky, and I don't notice 0:29:22.640 --> 0:29:24.720 how much I have going on. But when you have 0:29:24.760 --> 0:29:26.960 a terrible day, you start to realize. And I was like, Oh, 0:29:27.000 --> 0:29:31.080 throw everything away, everybody, nobody, I'm going back to teaching 0:29:31.080 --> 0:29:34.520 preschool where the babies. I felt like that. Not too 0:29:34.560 --> 0:29:36.720 long ago. I posted that in one of the groups 0:29:36.720 --> 0:29:38.720 that were in. I was like, have you ever just 0:29:38.800 --> 0:29:41.560 been like, forget it. I'm gonna start from scratch. I 0:29:41.600 --> 0:29:45.000 want a whole new name. I might need another husband, 0:29:45.240 --> 0:29:47.480 a different husband who could give me a different last name. 0:29:47.520 --> 0:29:51.040 I'm throwing everything out, Like I think that that is 0:29:51.080 --> 0:29:55.840 such a natural part of entrepreneurship. Like if you don't 0:29:55.840 --> 0:29:58.720 want to stop everything that you're doing at least once 0:29:58.800 --> 0:30:01.920 or twice a year, don't know, like I don't know 0:30:01.920 --> 0:30:04.320 what you're doing, because that's I think that you have. 0:30:04.440 --> 0:30:06.360 First of all, you have to have that level of crazy, 0:30:06.400 --> 0:30:09.840 I think, but that's the thing that makes you just 0:30:10.000 --> 0:30:12.960 like also keep pushing in an odd way, because like 0:30:13.000 --> 0:30:15.240 I'll have a day like that, and then the next 0:30:15.320 --> 0:30:18.680 day I'm like, oh on devil, you know, I feel 0:30:18.680 --> 0:30:23.200 like this come back, like there's resurgence of power, like 0:30:23.560 --> 0:30:26.120 absolutely not that will not happen to me today. And 0:30:26.160 --> 0:30:28.640 then I get like ninety seven things done in one 0:30:28.720 --> 0:30:30.760 day that totally made up for the three that I've 0:30:30.760 --> 0:30:34.040 fumbled on the day before. So you know, I don't know, 0:30:34.080 --> 0:30:35.600 but I totally get you. 0:30:38.200 --> 0:30:40.600 What are some ways let's talk about the business. 0:30:40.640 --> 0:30:42.440 I like to talk about the money the money hunter, 0:30:42.600 --> 0:30:44.640 but like with your businesses, I mean you're both in 0:30:45.240 --> 0:30:49.280 sort of uh similar businesses, I guess, But what are 0:30:49.480 --> 0:30:51.800 can you talk about, like real talk about the different 0:30:51.840 --> 0:30:54.000 income streams that you have from your business and how 0:30:54.040 --> 0:30:56.720 you sort of diversify that. I know that's a big 0:30:56.720 --> 0:30:59.000 component of like being an entrepreneur today is not just 0:30:59.040 --> 0:31:02.200 having one like all your income coming from one source. 0:31:02.760 --> 0:31:04.680 The same way you don't want to like put all 0:31:04.720 --> 0:31:06.800 of your money in one savings account forever. You want 0:31:06.840 --> 0:31:08.960 to diversify. 0:31:09.080 --> 0:31:12.600 Yeah, So there's a couple different things although I'm like, 0:31:12.720 --> 0:31:15.640 I'm in transition mode, right. So I used to have 0:31:15.760 --> 0:31:19.760 all the these products and smaller programs and I would 0:31:20.320 --> 0:31:23.120 offer them to churches and nonprofits and they would really 0:31:23.160 --> 0:31:25.760 pay me. So a lot of what I do I 0:31:25.800 --> 0:31:31.680 don't necessarily charge like an individual. I've always been kind 0:31:31.680 --> 0:31:35.719 of more inclined to really just I mean, similar to Tiffany. 0:31:35.720 --> 0:31:39.600 I would say, like, nurture, nurture people, nurture the audience, 0:31:39.680 --> 0:31:43.360 but then charge the brands, right or charge whoever that 0:31:43.520 --> 0:31:46.840 would bring me out. So speaking is a big component 0:31:46.920 --> 0:31:50.400 of my income. Also, being a spokesperson or a brand ambassador, 0:31:51.480 --> 0:31:54.920 over the last few years has become a great portion 0:31:55.000 --> 0:31:57.880 of income. And I actually look forward to doing those 0:31:57.920 --> 0:32:00.600 because I could work with fewer brands that I really like, 0:32:00.800 --> 0:32:04.920 but I just charge you more and so I don't 0:32:04.920 --> 0:32:08.000 have to do a million smaller things, which goes back 0:32:08.000 --> 0:32:10.120 to the whole the family piece I was talking about 0:32:10.120 --> 0:32:15.400 in the beginning. And then some of those partners they 0:32:15.440 --> 0:32:18.840 pay for my radio segment. I still am on the 0:32:18.840 --> 0:32:22.360 Steve Harvey Morning Show. I still have a weekly segment 0:32:22.560 --> 0:32:27.080 about two to three million listeners fifty four cities, and 0:32:27.120 --> 0:32:30.000 I've been on there now every week for about three 0:32:30.040 --> 0:32:33.680 and a half years. So there's some back end stuff 0:32:33.680 --> 0:32:37.640 that I get through my partnership with iHeartRadio, which is 0:32:37.680 --> 0:32:41.480 actually who helped me launch the podcast. They really wanted 0:32:41.520 --> 0:32:44.320 to deepen the car, help me deepen the conversation, but 0:32:44.440 --> 0:32:48.280 also use that as a tool to promote to their sponsors. 0:32:48.960 --> 0:32:51.800 And the thing I think I'm getting most excited about 0:32:51.880 --> 0:32:53.720 I haven't done it in a long time though. It 0:32:53.800 --> 0:32:57.360 is like group coaching, like like you know, like you said, Tiffany, 0:32:57.400 --> 0:32:59.360 you go in and out. So I'm in that dip 0:32:59.440 --> 0:33:01.680 right now because I totally shut off my one on 0:33:01.680 --> 0:33:06.280 one coaching because it just didn't fit anymore. Like I was, like, 0:33:06.400 --> 0:33:09.240 I mean I could, I should, but I don't want to. 0:33:09.840 --> 0:33:14.600 Like I really want to walk women, especially high achieving women, 0:33:15.240 --> 0:33:20.520 through what these pillars really mean, you know, for redefining wealth, 0:33:20.600 --> 0:33:22.640 like the areas that we can really work in on 0:33:22.720 --> 0:33:24.640 our lives, especially if we know that we have a 0:33:24.680 --> 0:33:28.320 full life, but something deep down inside is still unfulfilled. 0:33:29.000 --> 0:33:31.960 Because I think if there is that unfulfillment, eventually, it's 0:33:32.000 --> 0:33:35.040 going to lead to financial mismanagement in some form or fashion. 0:33:35.480 --> 0:33:38.040 So I feel like my path to helping people get 0:33:38.040 --> 0:33:40.960 to their wealth is making sure that there's well being 0:33:41.080 --> 0:33:43.800 in all the other areas of their lives, and then 0:33:43.840 --> 0:33:46.280 we can talk about how to manage you know, the 0:33:46.280 --> 0:33:49.280 money that you do have wisely. But I feel like 0:33:49.280 --> 0:33:51.920 if we don't address some of these other air areas, 0:33:52.040 --> 0:33:53.360 you'll always be a hot mess. 0:33:53.800 --> 0:33:56.840 So yeah, don't you feel like sometimes people focus on 0:33:56.920 --> 0:33:59.000 like the bottom line, like they're like, Okay, as soon 0:33:59.000 --> 0:34:00.760 as I finish law school, then I'll have a social life, 0:34:00.760 --> 0:34:02.320 as soon as as soon as I get that promotion, 0:34:02.440 --> 0:34:05.520 then I'll focus on you know that that mole that 0:34:05.560 --> 0:34:07.760 I have on my left shoulders, you know, maybe not 0:34:07.800 --> 0:34:08.719 that serious too. 0:34:09.000 --> 0:34:11.640 That is no way to live. That is no way 0:34:11.680 --> 0:34:14.920 to live. And that's what like I did this group 0:34:15.000 --> 0:34:18.759 coaching with Steve Harvey's group Act Like a Success. That's 0:34:18.840 --> 0:34:21.440 kind of where I piloted this, and the results have 0:34:21.560 --> 0:34:24.600 been so phenomenal, so moving. But one of the things 0:34:24.600 --> 0:34:27.839 that hit me recently was one of the participants sent 0:34:27.880 --> 0:34:30.640 me a message and said, you know, in the fit 0:34:31.160 --> 0:34:34.240 in the fifth pillar, the first pillar I basically shared 0:34:34.320 --> 0:34:38.480 with the ladies. I said, you know what, if you 0:34:38.680 --> 0:34:41.760 have a vision for your life, you have a duty 0:34:41.800 --> 0:34:44.840 and a responsibility to protect the vessel that's needed to 0:34:44.880 --> 0:34:48.279 execute the vision, Like we cannot go and go and 0:34:48.320 --> 0:34:51.840 go and hustle and grind and then neglect the only 0:34:51.880 --> 0:34:54.680 body we have, right like that, you only get one, 0:34:55.440 --> 0:34:58.759 Like you can't neglect this body, put garbage in it 0:34:58.960 --> 0:35:02.240 and expect to get like great results out Like you can't. 0:35:02.280 --> 0:35:04.319 And one of the things that I said is in 0:35:04.360 --> 0:35:06.960 the next seven days, for any of you who are 0:35:07.800 --> 0:35:12.960 ignoring any slight pain, any discomfort, anything that you've questioned 0:35:14.400 --> 0:35:16.880 and it's been going on for weeks or months or 0:35:16.960 --> 0:35:19.200 years and you've been putting it off, I want you 0:35:19.320 --> 0:35:21.719 to figure out who the specialist, who the doctor is 0:35:21.760 --> 0:35:23.680 you need to go to and make an appointment within 0:35:23.719 --> 0:35:26.400 the next seven days, Right, I think about sixty or 0:35:26.440 --> 0:35:29.120 seventy percent of the people actually did it. And one 0:35:29.160 --> 0:35:33.719 woman ended up sending me a message and sharing that 0:35:33.760 --> 0:35:37.920 she found a lump on her breast and that they 0:35:38.280 --> 0:35:42.279 were catching it just in time. Wow, And that was 0:35:42.400 --> 0:35:46.160 like I'm sitting here reading this freaking direct message and 0:35:46.200 --> 0:35:50.080 I'm like wow, Like, so what good would it be 0:35:50.160 --> 0:35:51.960 for you to be And she had a great job 0:35:52.040 --> 0:35:53.759 all this stuff, but what good is it for you? 0:35:53.800 --> 0:35:55.680 To make one hundred and fifty two hundred thousand dollars 0:35:55.719 --> 0:35:59.279 a year and you ain't even here and in the 0:35:59.320 --> 0:36:02.960 next day because you haven't taken care of yourself, Like 0:36:03.080 --> 0:36:05.680 what good is that? You know? I always think of 0:36:05.760 --> 0:36:10.080 like Steve Jobs, like this man who shifted, like no 0:36:10.120 --> 0:36:13.520 one's life is the same and he got here. No 0:36:13.520 --> 0:36:16.799 matter how much money that this billionaire man had, he 0:36:17.719 --> 0:36:20.000 is not here. And I always think that that, like, 0:36:20.880 --> 0:36:24.640 you can't wealth your way to health necessarily. You know, 0:36:24.680 --> 0:36:26.200 of course there are some things, like you know, there's 0:36:26.400 --> 0:36:29.160 medicine and doctors, but ultimately, if you don't take the 0:36:29.200 --> 0:36:30.600 time to take care of yourself. And I have to 0:36:30.600 --> 0:36:32.520 say that I'm not here to judge whether he did 0:36:32.600 --> 0:36:34.480 or did it, but it just just goes to show 0:36:34.520 --> 0:36:38.560 that there's just there's no substitute for health, no amount 0:36:38.560 --> 0:36:43.880 of money that can guarantee you know, your life here. Wow, 0:36:44.040 --> 0:36:46.040 that's just really And that's why I say that pillar 0:36:46.280 --> 0:36:49.799 is not about being skinny. So when people seem fit, 0:36:50.040 --> 0:36:52.000 you know, they're like, oh, you want me to just 0:36:52.040 --> 0:36:53.960 go to the gym. You're talking about being skinny, that's 0:36:53.960 --> 0:36:56.200 easy for you. First of all, I have been thin 0:36:56.360 --> 0:36:59.360 relatively my entire life. I've also had high blood pressure. 0:37:00.080 --> 0:37:04.200 I've also had issues with like acidic acid and my stomach, 0:37:04.360 --> 0:37:07.840 and like a gap in my esasagus that was causing 0:37:07.880 --> 0:37:10.759 all kind of issues and all kinds of stuff like 0:37:11.960 --> 0:37:15.800 being thin doesn't matter, That doesn't make you healthy. And 0:37:15.920 --> 0:37:17.560 at the end of the day, even if I say 0:37:17.560 --> 0:37:19.600 that what I'm doing is to leave a legacy for 0:37:19.760 --> 0:37:21.840 my daughter, wouldn't it be nicer for me to just 0:37:21.920 --> 0:37:24.399 live a little longer so I could also be here 0:37:24.440 --> 0:37:27.120 for her. Yeah, I'm not working to make money to 0:37:27.280 --> 0:37:29.120 just make sure she goes to school death free, like 0:37:29.200 --> 0:37:32.600 I'd like to be at the graduation. That'd be nice. 0:37:32.680 --> 0:37:34.839 And so that those are some of the things over 0:37:34.880 --> 0:37:38.320 these several years where I started to take more control 0:37:38.360 --> 0:37:40.480 of my health. I stopped with all that, Oh, i'm 0:37:40.520 --> 0:37:43.880 young girl. By I mean i'm young, I ain't old old, 0:37:44.200 --> 0:37:49.759 but I'm not twenty. Don't it get really get thirty? Though? 0:37:49.840 --> 0:37:52.799 I was just told that, I said, I remember all 0:37:52.840 --> 0:37:59.400 of this in my twenties. I was boxing yesterday and 0:37:59.520 --> 0:38:01.680 I still feel it in my lower back, all this 0:38:01.719 --> 0:38:04.160 little turn your body quick and all this. I'm like, sir, 0:38:04.280 --> 0:38:08.200 you're twenty something. Little coach like hold on now. But 0:38:08.200 --> 0:38:11.000 but yeah, it's not just about that. It's like an 0:38:11.040 --> 0:38:13.200 overall overarching thing. 0:38:14.360 --> 0:38:16.680 Now real quick. You you're married, right. 0:38:17.480 --> 0:38:19.120 I am ten years in December. 0:38:19.320 --> 0:38:23.160 Congratulations show a decade. 0:38:23.239 --> 0:38:23.759 I love it. 0:38:25.560 --> 0:38:27.880 I mean, I'm trying to make a six months married. 0:38:30.080 --> 0:38:33.960 I know, congress both of you. I know I liked 0:38:34.000 --> 0:38:36.440 your little pictures and stuff on Facebook. I was lurking 0:38:36.520 --> 0:38:40.640 and oh so happy for both of you. Welcome to 0:38:40.640 --> 0:38:41.000 the fold. 0:38:42.560 --> 0:38:44.440 Well, you are a veteran, but I was going to 0:38:44.480 --> 0:38:46.319 ask if you wanted to talk about how you and 0:38:46.360 --> 0:38:48.160 your husband, you know, if is he part of this 0:38:48.400 --> 0:38:50.759 of the strategy? You know that not strategy, but you know, 0:38:50.800 --> 0:38:52.960 when you took a step back from your whatever you 0:38:53.000 --> 0:38:55.520 were doing in your business and wanted a transition. I mean, 0:38:55.960 --> 0:38:57.840 how do you guys talk to each other about that? 0:38:57.920 --> 0:39:00.960 And where is he incorporated and supporting and vice versa. 0:39:01.080 --> 0:39:05.399 Oh yeah, So the second pillar actually for redefining wealth 0:39:05.480 --> 0:39:09.800 is people, and people is all about creating relationships that matter. 0:39:10.480 --> 0:39:12.880 And one of the things after my daughter got me 0:39:13.040 --> 0:39:16.200 all the way together in the kitchen that one day, 0:39:16.239 --> 0:39:18.960 that one Sunday, I talked to my husband about it, 0:39:19.000 --> 0:39:21.799 and he was like, I mean, well, yeah, I'm like, 0:39:21.840 --> 0:39:23.239 what do you mean. Yeah, you know. I first told 0:39:23.320 --> 0:39:27.600 him like can you believe and he was like, yeah, totally, yeah, 0:39:27.719 --> 0:39:30.719 totally believe it. I was like, you know, when you 0:39:30.760 --> 0:39:33.200 were looking for a little camaraderie and thought someone would 0:39:33.200 --> 0:39:35.040 have your back, and he gave me none of that 0:39:35.200 --> 0:39:39.239 because he's a real friend. So my husband and I 0:39:39.360 --> 0:39:43.760 ended up having a great conversation too, and that really 0:39:43.800 --> 0:39:48.719 began the beginning of us like really being more intentional 0:39:48.719 --> 0:39:53.120 about not having our phone out during dinner and when 0:39:53.280 --> 0:39:56.320 someone's talking to you, you look up from the phone, 0:39:56.880 --> 0:39:58.560 like you don't keep looking at the phone like I 0:39:58.560 --> 0:40:01.000 hear you, I hear you, go ahead. Meanwhile you're like 0:40:01.120 --> 0:40:03.920 laser focused on your text message or your email or whatever. 0:40:04.640 --> 0:40:07.000 We had to work through some things that we could do, 0:40:07.560 --> 0:40:12.880 one to really I think, rebuild and continue to build 0:40:12.960 --> 0:40:15.480 intimacy and our marriage, but also to be a better 0:40:15.520 --> 0:40:19.959 example for our daughter. And one of the greatest things 0:40:19.960 --> 0:40:21.680 that you can give your spouse is just your time 0:40:21.719 --> 0:40:25.120 and attention. And it's really easy. You know, when I 0:40:25.160 --> 0:40:27.880 was sleeping on the couch, my husband was too. You know, 0:40:27.960 --> 0:40:31.640 he took a job at Taco Bell and was working 0:40:31.680 --> 0:40:35.399 at Taco Bell having people throw open faced tacos through 0:40:35.400 --> 0:40:38.120 the drive through in his face like he went through 0:40:38.160 --> 0:40:40.880 it during that time. And so while I've been building 0:40:40.920 --> 0:40:43.800 this brand, he's been rebuilding himself and now he again 0:40:43.880 --> 0:40:47.080 has a seven figure business as well. And one of 0:40:47.120 --> 0:40:51.239 the things that we attribute that to is not just 0:40:52.320 --> 0:40:54.359 you know, getting clear about what we wanted to do 0:40:54.480 --> 0:40:57.799 and chasing our passions and all that stuff. It's also 0:40:57.880 --> 0:41:01.719 the support that we've given each other in the time, 0:41:01.560 --> 0:41:03.880 time and attention we put in. Like we're very deliberate 0:41:03.920 --> 0:41:06.080 about date night. There was a time around the same 0:41:06.120 --> 0:41:09.719 time that my daughter got with me real tough in 0:41:09.760 --> 0:41:14.080 the kitchen. You know, we were doing deliberate date nights 0:41:14.200 --> 0:41:17.239 every week for years, even when we were broke. When 0:41:17.280 --> 0:41:19.160 we were in New Orleans, broke and we had like 0:41:19.200 --> 0:41:23.240 a raggedy pickup truck, we would go to a Beignet shop, 0:41:24.080 --> 0:41:28.160 a Cafe Dumont near us UH in New Orleans and 0:41:28.320 --> 0:41:31.719 you know, play like three dollars. Oh, get us some Oh, 0:41:31.760 --> 0:41:37.520 I'm just thinking about it right now, get us. Did 0:41:37.560 --> 0:41:43.480 you hear it? I heard it. Hold on to you. 0:41:43.640 --> 0:41:45.960 Let me get myself together. Yeah, we get like hot 0:41:46.040 --> 0:41:47.959 chocolate and share it. And we would put the back 0:41:48.040 --> 0:41:50.600 down on that pickup truck and just sit back there. 0:41:50.640 --> 0:41:53.080 We're talking like a five dollars date and we were 0:41:53.160 --> 0:41:55.120 just sitting in the back of the pickup truck and 0:41:55.200 --> 0:42:00.399 eat beignets and share one hot chocolate. And the more 0:42:00.480 --> 0:42:04.840 money we made and the more stuff that we had 0:42:05.440 --> 0:42:09.279 over the years, we did start, like, you know, not 0:42:10.360 --> 0:42:13.040 doing those things regularly, like we would have date night, 0:42:13.080 --> 0:42:14.960 but we would allow it to get pushed to the 0:42:15.000 --> 0:42:18.200 side if something else come up. And it was not 0:42:18.239 --> 0:42:21.279 like anyone was bitter in the moment. It was like, oh, 0:42:21.320 --> 0:42:23.200 you gotta do that, Okay, Well cool, I guess I'll 0:42:23.239 --> 0:42:25.400 just work on this, like we'll find another day. But 0:42:25.440 --> 0:42:28.080 then weeks turn into months and you haven't had your 0:42:28.120 --> 0:42:33.600 consistent date night. And so since twenty fifteen, we've been really, 0:42:33.640 --> 0:42:36.520 really deliberate. We have a date night pretty much every 0:42:36.560 --> 0:42:39.640 Tuesday or Wednesday night. We learned very quickly that Friday 0:42:39.680 --> 0:42:41.719 and Saturdays, young people want to go out and do 0:42:41.800 --> 0:42:44.719 their thing. You cannot depend on them the babysit, so 0:42:44.800 --> 0:42:46.840 you have to pull your fun into the middle of 0:42:46.840 --> 0:42:51.640 the week. So bro so like Tuesdays and Wednesdays. We're 0:42:51.680 --> 0:42:55.200 really deliberate about date night. And you know, my husband 0:42:55.239 --> 0:42:57.800 works in entertainment now and he works on a show 0:42:58.760 --> 0:43:03.320 and the show was actually taping talk. The new schedule 0:43:03.360 --> 0:43:05.799 came out and the show was taping on Tuesday nights, 0:43:05.840 --> 0:43:08.520 which would normally be our date night. And the thing 0:43:08.600 --> 0:43:11.000 that really got me, you guys, this is a in 0:43:11.080 --> 0:43:13.920 August of this year. As soon as he got the 0:43:13.960 --> 0:43:17.239 tape schedule, he literally forwarded it to me and then 0:43:17.280 --> 0:43:19.440 he called me and said, did you look at the email? 0:43:19.440 --> 0:43:21.359 And I said no, and he's like, can you open it? 0:43:21.400 --> 0:43:24.000 So I open it and maybe he had that email 0:43:24.000 --> 0:43:26.920 in his inbox for fifteen minutes and he immediately thought, 0:43:27.040 --> 0:43:31.399 this conflicts with date night, so he renegotiated a new night, 0:43:31.760 --> 0:43:35.040 like right there on the spot, and I was like, dang. 0:43:35.640 --> 0:43:38.600 Four or five years ago, no, wouldn't have happened. He'd 0:43:38.600 --> 0:43:44.480 have been like, hey, so, and we would have just 0:43:44.480 --> 0:43:47.239 like let it go. But so deliberate. We've been using 0:43:47.239 --> 0:43:49.759 that to test out different restaurants and areas that we 0:43:49.800 --> 0:43:53.120 wouldn't normally go to. So we take turns finding things 0:43:53.160 --> 0:43:55.319 on Yelp or hear things that we've heard about and 0:43:55.360 --> 0:43:57.560 we'll just go to a completely different area, have a 0:43:57.640 --> 0:44:02.040 nice dinner. Sometimes we go to work out together. That's 0:44:02.040 --> 0:44:03.880 the other thing. We work out together. Three days a 0:44:03.880 --> 0:44:06.160 week at six o'clock in the morning, we go to 0:44:06.200 --> 0:44:10.680 boxing together. That's relatively new. That's been like since early summer, 0:44:10.840 --> 0:44:12.920 so we've been doing that about five or six months. 0:44:13.120 --> 0:44:16.200 But we're just constantly finding things for us to do together, 0:44:16.880 --> 0:44:21.759 and that has been again so fulfilling because when there 0:44:21.920 --> 0:44:24.640 is something that we have to do, like he is 0:44:24.680 --> 0:44:27.480 actually on a flight right now to New York to 0:44:27.560 --> 0:44:31.320 take something and so we're not having date nights tonight, 0:44:31.840 --> 0:44:35.239 but not this weekend. But the previous weekend he took 0:44:35.280 --> 0:44:38.720 me on a little vacation to Newport Beach. Three days. 0:44:39.160 --> 0:44:41.560 We hung out, We spent a lot of time together. 0:44:41.920 --> 0:44:44.839 We went to the spa and it was just beautiful. 0:44:45.200 --> 0:44:47.440 But he makes sure we both make sure that we 0:44:47.560 --> 0:44:52.560 deposit so that nobody feels depleted, you know, when there 0:44:52.560 --> 0:44:54.800 are those times when work has to make a withdraw, 0:44:55.440 --> 0:44:58.000 and same thing for my daughter, like I've been so 0:44:58.120 --> 0:45:00.400 much more intentional about this time that I been with 0:45:00.440 --> 0:45:03.359 her that when I do have to go speak or 0:45:03.640 --> 0:45:05.640 when I am going to work, if it's something that 0:45:05.640 --> 0:45:09.160 she can't come to, she's like, go get them, girlfriend, 0:45:09.400 --> 0:45:12.640 Like this is truly like my little friend. Or when 0:45:13.280 --> 0:45:16.080 I come back, she's like, you sold all your books? 0:45:16.760 --> 0:45:20.160 You sold all your books? Did you come home with anything? 0:45:20.280 --> 0:45:25.840 She's also slash manager in this relationship, but they're so proud, 0:45:26.080 --> 0:45:30.040 and so by being more deliberate and intentional with them, 0:45:30.440 --> 0:45:33.200 it allows me to stand up and be great when 0:45:33.200 --> 0:45:37.040 I'm out, Like I feel my most confident and bold 0:45:37.120 --> 0:45:39.960 self when I'm on stage, when I'm on TV, when 0:45:39.960 --> 0:45:42.040 I'm doing my stuff, because I know I got people 0:45:42.040 --> 0:45:44.440 that love me no matter what. So even if I 0:45:44.480 --> 0:45:46.759 fall right here, I'm still going home to a house 0:45:46.800 --> 0:45:49.520 full of love. So if you don't like me, that's fine. 0:45:49.560 --> 0:45:53.240 I can accept it. But I know that before I came, 0:45:53.320 --> 0:45:56.279 I was being nurtured and encouraged, and when I leave here, 0:45:56.360 --> 0:45:59.719 I'll be nurtured and encouraged, And for me, that matters 0:45:59.800 --> 0:46:04.600 so much more. I definitely love the feedback from my 0:46:04.719 --> 0:46:08.759 audience or from producers or from whoever, but nothing beats 0:46:09.560 --> 0:46:12.839 what my family thinks about me. I love that. I 0:46:12.880 --> 0:46:18.720 think that that truly to me is redefining wealth, and 0:46:18.719 --> 0:46:20.600 and I think that, right, Mandy, that that's like such 0:46:20.640 --> 0:46:24.759 good feedback. I mean, well, because I want to figure out, 0:46:24.800 --> 0:46:26.520 like what what can we do more of? Because I 0:46:26.840 --> 0:46:30.920 do get the reason why people always ask like, you know, 0:46:31.800 --> 0:46:35.040 how how am I able? Or why have I grown 0:46:35.080 --> 0:46:37.120 so quickly? And it's not that I've grown quickly, but 0:46:37.280 --> 0:46:40.800 I saw the huge boost when I got with my 0:46:40.920 --> 0:46:45.320 husband because because in meanwhile, he's just a regular regular 0:46:45.800 --> 0:46:49.319 you know, nine to five, just the regular guy. And 0:46:49.560 --> 0:46:51.319 I remember he would always ask like, oh, you know, 0:46:51.360 --> 0:46:52.960 you sure you don't want one of those like you 0:46:53.000 --> 0:46:57.839 know whatever, guys. I'm like, I don't know what you mean, 0:46:58.160 --> 0:47:01.480 but you know that. But it's because there's such a 0:47:01.520 --> 0:47:06.239 solid foundation, because I am always someone's foundation, right, I 0:47:06.280 --> 0:47:09.680 am big Mama in my family, like you know, like 0:47:09.719 --> 0:47:15.560 everybody Rwanda. Yeah, so I carry a lot and there 0:47:15.760 --> 0:47:19.600 was I've never been with someone who there is that 0:47:19.719 --> 0:47:22.960 I could actually lean on confidently except for my father 0:47:23.360 --> 0:47:26.080 there so he set a good example of this is 0:47:26.080 --> 0:47:30.440 what it looks like to lean on someone financially spiritually 0:47:30.600 --> 0:47:34.000 because you know, and so every guy that I dated, 0:47:34.400 --> 0:47:38.200 I became my father to them, which is like I 0:47:38.400 --> 0:47:41.440 was the I got you lean on me you know, 0:47:41.600 --> 0:47:43.359 and I didn't realize that that I was turning every 0:47:43.400 --> 0:47:47.200 man into my child. I met my husband and he 0:47:47.360 --> 0:47:49.080 was like, I don't know who you think you're raising, 0:47:49.960 --> 0:47:55.520 fully grown Come on, Superman, you can actually lean on me. 0:47:56.040 --> 0:47:57.239 And I remember I was like, well, you know, I 0:47:57.280 --> 0:47:58.480 make a little bit more and so you know, I 0:47:58.480 --> 0:48:00.520 can handle these bills. He was like, they were paid 0:48:00.560 --> 0:48:03.359 before you got here, so I need you to take 0:48:03.400 --> 0:48:05.200 a seat and I will handle the bill. It was. 0:48:05.480 --> 0:48:08.160 It still blows my mind to this day where I'm like, wow, 0:48:08.680 --> 0:48:12.120 you know, and so I can totally understand, and I'm 0:48:12.160 --> 0:48:14.279 wanting to lean more into because we don't have a 0:48:14.320 --> 0:48:16.560 regular date night. I mean, like we hang out when 0:48:16.600 --> 0:48:20.160 it's like oh, but making that strategic time, I think 0:48:20.280 --> 0:48:23.399 that that is an amazing idea. I actually I feel 0:48:23.440 --> 0:48:26.200 like you ha got forward to it. Yeah, it's something 0:48:26.239 --> 0:48:28.400 for you to look forward to. And I'll tell you what, 0:48:28.560 --> 0:48:31.319 because it's not all peaches and roses and rainbows every day. 0:48:31.440 --> 0:48:33.520 You know, some days you'll be looking at these jokers 0:48:33.600 --> 0:48:41.800 like you know what, Listen like, I'm really really trying 0:48:41.800 --> 0:48:45.080 my patience today. But the funny thing is we get 0:48:45.080 --> 0:48:47.920 it together for date night, like like a couple of 0:48:47.960 --> 0:48:51.120 weeks ago, I was not feeling him on a Wednesday morning. 0:48:51.160 --> 0:48:53.560 I'm not even gonna lie. I don't even remember what happened. 0:48:53.560 --> 0:48:55.400 You know, it could be anything. It doesn't even have 0:48:55.480 --> 0:48:58.000 to be major, but you're like, really, like you're just 0:48:58.000 --> 0:49:00.799 gonna keep smacking like that or whatever. It was something 0:49:00.840 --> 0:49:01.200 where I was. 0:49:01.320 --> 0:49:03.239 Like getting what was that for? 0:49:03.960 --> 0:49:06.839 Yeah, smacking not cool, But it was like I did 0:49:06.880 --> 0:49:08.480 something and he was like, would you look at me 0:49:08.560 --> 0:49:11.200 like that for? And I was like, I can look 0:49:11.200 --> 0:49:12.840 how I want to look. You know, I popped. It 0:49:13.000 --> 0:49:15.960 popped a little attitude. I didn't even know what happened. 0:49:16.880 --> 0:49:19.040 The funny thing is we still to this day don't 0:49:19.080 --> 0:49:21.680 know what really happened or how it started. But it 0:49:21.719 --> 0:49:24.399 was just one of those moments. But let me tell you. 0:49:24.680 --> 0:49:27.239 Before he left that morning to go to work and 0:49:27.280 --> 0:49:30.160 I realized it was date night and I wanted to 0:49:30.200 --> 0:49:32.239 go to that restaurant, I was like, a man, pull 0:49:32.280 --> 0:49:35.960 yourself together, go apologize so you can have a good 0:49:36.040 --> 0:49:38.400 date night. Like it really keeps us in check too, 0:49:38.440 --> 0:49:40.359 because we look forward to it. So I was like, 0:49:40.440 --> 0:49:44.879 if I did something to offend you, I apologized. He's 0:49:44.920 --> 0:49:46.960 like Ooh, you didn't even want to apologize, but thank 0:49:47.000 --> 0:49:51.520 you for trying. Yeah, but we've been together fourteen years. 0:49:51.560 --> 0:49:54.640 So these are fourteen almost fifteen years of Shenanigans, married 0:49:55.760 --> 0:49:59.000 for ten and it hasn't been easy, but it has 0:49:59.120 --> 0:50:03.560 been beautiful because it's an opportunity, like you were talking about, Tiffany, 0:50:03.640 --> 0:50:06.400 like to have someone that you can lean on that 0:50:06.560 --> 0:50:09.239 just lets you be you, you know too, and he 0:50:09.400 --> 0:50:13.319 lets me be all of me. You know. I have 0:50:13.480 --> 0:50:18.480 my Patrise Washington, and then there's Patrice Cunningham and Patrese 0:50:18.520 --> 0:50:22.439 Cunningham is from the hood and she turns up every 0:50:22.440 --> 0:50:25.839 once in a while, and he likes both of them 0:50:26.040 --> 0:50:28.520 like whoever pops out, He's like, I got it, I'm 0:50:28.560 --> 0:50:31.160 with you, like whatever. You know. He lets me be 0:50:31.239 --> 0:50:33.120 all of me. And I dated people in the past 0:50:33.160 --> 0:50:36.000 where it would be like could you not or their 0:50:36.000 --> 0:50:38.440 mom is like your dress is a little tight, and 0:50:38.480 --> 0:50:40.440 y'all know how I feel about my tight dresses. This 0:50:40.600 --> 0:50:42.920 is this is not new, this's been going off a decade. 0:50:42.960 --> 0:50:46.759 So I was like, so your mom's dressing me now, 0:50:46.880 --> 0:50:49.600 you know. But my husband is always let me be 0:50:49.719 --> 0:50:53.880 me and he's always protected me, even from family. Members 0:50:54.000 --> 0:50:56.640 who thought that they could have a say in our 0:50:56.680 --> 0:50:59.279 relationship too, or in our Mayorage urge or how we 0:50:59.400 --> 0:51:04.800 parent or what ever. He he covers that, So yeah, wow, 0:51:04.920 --> 0:51:06.520 I still like him. 0:51:07.040 --> 0:51:09.479 I feel like this has been awesome, right, Mandy, Yeah, 0:51:09.520 --> 0:51:11.960 thanks so much for coming on and definitely, I mean, 0:51:11.960 --> 0:51:13.719 this is a great teaser for your show. I feel 0:51:13.719 --> 0:51:17.600 like Redefining Wealth on iTunes. I'm I'm assuming everywhere you 0:51:17.600 --> 0:51:20.200 can listen to podcasts you can find Redefining Wealth. 0:51:20.680 --> 0:51:22.680 Yep, yep, And if you have a hard time, go 0:51:22.719 --> 0:51:26.040 to Patrice Washington dot dot com. But thank you guys 0:51:26.120 --> 0:51:28.640 so much. I always enjoy chatting with you. I love 0:51:28.680 --> 0:51:30.840 that it's not you know, you know how some places 0:51:30.840 --> 0:51:33.040 you go and it's kind of stale there. You're kind 0:51:33.040 --> 0:51:34.640 of like, just like what you get through it for 0:51:34.800 --> 0:51:37.920 getting out of a getting out of bed, You're like. 0:51:38.360 --> 0:51:42.960 Yeah, how could it be stale when you're here? 0:51:43.800 --> 0:51:47.799 Exactly? Think that someone can google that you can share 0:51:47.880 --> 0:51:53.560 right now? Essentially, yes, exactly, that's a good Well what 0:51:53.640 --> 0:51:56.320 are the things that people can google that they've already googled, 0:51:56.360 --> 0:51:59.319 that they've already heard nineteen times? Yeah, So thank you 0:51:59.360 --> 0:52:02.680 guys for all Also letting me be me and allowing 0:52:02.680 --> 0:52:05.120 me to come back on and share about redefining wealth. 0:52:05.960 --> 0:52:08.480 I don't know what the next few years hold, but 0:52:08.560 --> 0:52:11.000 I am super excited to be in this space right 0:52:11.040 --> 0:52:13.719 now and doing everything that I'm doing. It feels like 0:52:14.640 --> 0:52:17.200 exactly where I'm supposed to be and exactly what I 0:52:17.239 --> 0:52:17.839 was called to do.