Speaker 1: Hey, Hey, Hey, for those of you who are asking
Speaker 1: for the visual. With each hey, my hands get progressively
Speaker 1: higher and I end in jazz hands and scene. I
Speaker 1: am super excited because we got my girl law of today.
Speaker 1: Aside from Mandy, which is my girl, but you know
Speaker 1: y'all are used to Mandy. We've got a guest that
Speaker 1: you guys have loved. She was here two years ago
Speaker 1: when we first started, and she's grasing us today. Welcome
Speaker 1: Patrice for Washington. Hey, thank you for having me back.
Speaker 1: And I'm doing a little jazz hands over here as well,
Speaker 1: in your honor. Yes, I can hear it. I can
Speaker 1: hear the jazz hands.
Speaker 2: It's so good to have you back on the show.
Speaker 1: I know, I can't believe it's been two years. So
Speaker 1: congratulations to you guys.
Speaker 2: We're in a terrible twos is your thing.
Speaker 1: You're get terrible toos. You'll get past it.
Speaker 3: So for those of you, first of all, at this point,
Speaker 3: if you're listening and you want to know who Patri says,
Speaker 3: you have to go back to one of our early
Speaker 3: episodes when we first talked to Patrise aka America's Money Maven.
Speaker 3: Go listen to that show, then come back because we're
Speaker 3: about to catch up with Patrese and I want to
Speaker 3: hear everything about where have you been these past two years?
Speaker 3: Where are you going?
Speaker 2: Where have you been? Where are you going?
Speaker 3: Where's your business? Are you still on the Steve Harvey Show,
Speaker 3: What's happening? What's happening in the Patrise universe?
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, So where have I been? It's been
Speaker 1: about two years. And it's funny. About two years ago,
Speaker 1: I was actually in the kitchen with my daughter. I
Speaker 1: had just come off a book tour and I was
Speaker 1: in the kitchen with my daughter pretending to cook because
Speaker 1: y'all know I'm not a real cook, but I was
Speaker 1: trying to do a little something something and my daughter
Speaker 1: was trying to tell me this story Mandy, and she
Speaker 1: called me my nanny's name like three times in a row. Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm like, why does she keep calling me miss Angela?
Speaker 1: You know? And here's the deal. Have any kids, or
Speaker 1: ever see any kids? Met a kid. You ask a
Speaker 1: little kid a real question, They're going to give you
Speaker 1: a real answer. And I asked her, like, why do
Speaker 1: you keep calling me miss Angela? And essentially she kept
Speaker 1: it all the way real. She's like, because I talked
Speaker 1: to her all the time, and that really hurt.
Speaker 2: How was she like?
Speaker 1: She was about six? You know, I'm sorry, No, she
Speaker 1: was just she was just about to turn seven. And
Speaker 1: it was one of those aha moments where you're like,
Speaker 1: wait a minute. As much as I enjoy being America's
Speaker 1: money Maven and doing my thing on the Steve Harvey
Speaker 1: Show and speaking all over the country and interview after interview,
Speaker 1: as much as I enjoy all of that, like my
Speaker 1: number one responsibility is to be this child's mother. You know,
Speaker 1: guy asked to have her, she didn't ask for me,
Speaker 1: and so it's to be her mother. And it was
Speaker 1: a reminder that I never wanted to be a public
Speaker 1: success and a private failure. And in that moment I
Speaker 1: started to really strategize and think about how I could
Speaker 1: take a few steps back. So I know, for a
Speaker 1: lot of people, it doesn't seem like I've disappeared, because
Speaker 1: I've been all over the place, still doing a lot,
Speaker 1: but I've been so much more intentional and strategic about
Speaker 1: my family time and how that really connects to this
Speaker 1: pursuit of me being America's money Maven and living in
Speaker 1: my purpose and doing all this work I really love.
Speaker 1: But I was struggling. Honestly, I was losing focus at
Speaker 1: that time and thinking that if I just kept going
Speaker 1: and going and going, which I know a lot of
Speaker 1: people can relate to that, you know, we're kind of
Speaker 1: chasing that next shiny object. But in that moment, I
Speaker 1: realized that wasn't it. So for the last two years,
Speaker 1: I've really been pulling back a little bit. And it's
Speaker 1: funny because you know, I talk about this all the
Speaker 1: time and people are like, man, so you work that
Speaker 1: hard and you just gave up all your money. Actually, no,
Speaker 1: that's not what happened. I started to go on the
Speaker 1: road less, but I leveraged the fewer opportunities that I
Speaker 1: was taking and I actually made more money hallelujah, since
Speaker 1: I haven't been doing the same amount of work.
Speaker 2: This is the this is what you needed. This is
Speaker 2: what you were talking about the last episode.
Speaker 1: Me and Patritz we talk on the side.
Speaker 2: Okay, so I'm.
Speaker 1: Trying to hold back to tears and the church rate
Speaker 1: so because it is exactly what I have been wanted.
Speaker 1: Like Mandy and I, you know, we talked candidly on
Speaker 1: the show with our listeners, and you know, I it's
Speaker 1: just because you love it, you know, and you can't like.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I'm like, oh, I'm a
Speaker 1: new wife, I'm a bonus mom, and I'm making the
Speaker 1: transition into not always working. Has been really hard because
Speaker 1: it's not like I dislike the work. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: want to look up and you know, you know, I
Speaker 1: my husband and my bonus baby and the baby that
Speaker 1: I want to have. Nobody knows me, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: YEA was struggling with that transition of how do I
Speaker 1: to pull back? So listen, that's why kids conversation we're
Speaker 1: going to have today of redefining wealth if I can
Speaker 1: sid Yeah, awesome.
Speaker 3: So what are some of the things you did, Patrice
Speaker 3: to leverage so you you're scaling back in some ways,
Speaker 3: and you said, just focusing on the opportunities that really
Speaker 3: have value for you. I'm assuming financially, but then also
Speaker 3: just fulfillment wise. I mean, what are some of the
Speaker 3: you know, what are some of the steps you really
Speaker 3: took to to to recalibrate how you were approaching your business.
Speaker 1: Well, one of the first things I had to do
Speaker 1: was get clarity around who I really was. Like for me,
Speaker 1: not being on the road so much, literally gave me
Speaker 1: time to not be so obligated to delivering other people's
Speaker 1: sound bites, you know, because I was getting invited to
Speaker 1: do a lot of interviews and television and radio, and
Speaker 1: so you have to speak in these, you know, very
Speaker 1: concise soundbites. But I was being requested for the same
Speaker 1: topics right over and over and over again. And so
Speaker 1: when I had some time to sit back, I was like,
Speaker 1: this isn't even you anymore now, Like that doesn't even
Speaker 1: make you happy. You are not pumped up and super
Speaker 1: jazzed about talking about budgets anymore, or talking about credit
Speaker 1: reports or talk like that just doesn't make you happy anymore.
Speaker 1: And so that was one of the first ways I
Speaker 1: started to evaluate what I would do and what I
Speaker 1: wouldn't was by getting really clear about what did fulfill me,
Speaker 1: what piece of this whole, because there's so much. We
Speaker 1: all have our part, right, like we all I met
Speaker 1: you guys at a personal finance you know conference at
Speaker 1: fin Con and stuff, and we all offer our own
Speaker 1: little secret sauce to this whole you know, environment of
Speaker 1: personal finance. And I was like, there are people out
Speaker 1: there who will cover that what feels right for you,
Speaker 1: like what really speaks to your heart, speaks to your soul,
Speaker 1: speaks to your journey. And once I got really clear
Speaker 1: on that, it became easier to just cross things off
Speaker 1: the list. Because we would talk to people, you know,
Speaker 1: when people would pitch me on coming to things or
Speaker 1: being a part of things, we would say, okay, well,
Speaker 1: Patrice would like to steer the conversation this way is
Speaker 1: are you okay with that? And some people will be like, no,
Speaker 1: we need your one, two, three bullet points on this
Speaker 1: very specific topic. And I'm like, nah, it's okay. Like
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna leave my kid to go be disgruntled
Speaker 1: somewhere for what I could be disgruntled at the PTA meeting,
Speaker 1: Like no, I'm okay, you know, I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: have to leave my house to go and do that.
Speaker 1: I'm not. You know, that's what we work for, Tiffany, right,
Speaker 1: Like you work to build something that gives you freedom,
Speaker 1: but we turn around and become a slave to it, yes,
Speaker 1: or a preacher to the choir, yeah, you know. And
Speaker 1: I was like, man, I'm a slave to these sound bites.
Speaker 1: I don't want to live like this. I truly want
Speaker 1: to talk about what God puts on my heart. And
Speaker 1: so the first thing was like really getting clarity around
Speaker 1: what that was because I knew it was something, but
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna keep it real. Like at first
Speaker 1: I couldn't tell what it was. That was just kind
Speaker 1: of vexing my spirit. You haven't just been like like
Speaker 1: an uneasiness and you know that like you gotta shift,
Speaker 1: but you don't know to where or to what or how.
Speaker 1: You just feel something is like not right. So that's
Speaker 1: what it was. So taking a step back agatting clarity
Speaker 1: was a really really big one, and then putting people
Speaker 1: in place around me, on my team to help hold
Speaker 1: me accountable to that, because that's the other thing. You know,
Speaker 1: we become a slave to it. And it's like people
Speaker 1: dangle dollars in front of you, like, I mean, I could,
Speaker 1: I guess I could come back one day, you know,
Speaker 1: if I make it a quick trip. If I do this,
Speaker 1: you know, if you try to rationalize or as I
Speaker 1: like to say, rational out lies to yourself. So I
Speaker 1: would try to rationalize, and so I hired one of
Speaker 1: my good friends to support me, and I got some
Speaker 1: really great team members in place who helped me set
Speaker 1: up systems so that I wouldn't even hear about some
Speaker 1: of the opportunities that were just not a fit. Like
Speaker 1: they would go through the process, take in the form,
Speaker 1: make the call, talk to people you know, do their research,
Speaker 1: and then if they determined based on what we talked
Speaker 1: about being a fit versus a non fit, if they
Speaker 1: determined that it wasn't a fit, no one would ever
Speaker 1: tell me. And that was the best because it didn't
Speaker 1: even bog me down, you know, like I wouldn't even
Speaker 1: think about things because again I would try to justify
Speaker 1: things like, oh, I remember they hired me to do
Speaker 1: such and such back in two thousand tens, Like I
Speaker 1: would be doing all these little justifications. And once the
Speaker 1: team got in place and we put systems and kind
Speaker 1: of rules in place, man that freedom so much it
Speaker 1: was awesome. And then I wasn't everywhere, so I could
Speaker 1: leverage that and charge charge more.
Speaker 3: Essentially, Yeah, both of you guys have, like I mean,
Speaker 3: a big part of your business is speaking engagements, right,
Speaker 3: I mean, that's a lucrative part of your business. I
Speaker 3: don't know what portion of it is. I'm not really asking,
Speaker 3: but I feel like that is how can you turn
Speaker 3: down those big juicy opportunities. I mean, and part of
Speaker 3: like the entrepreneurial reality is like, you know, you have
Speaker 3: an opportunity in front of you, and that idea of
Speaker 3: that scarcity mindset, like oh my, if I turn this down,
Speaker 3: will there be another one? Will there be another one?
Speaker 2: How have you dealt with that?
Speaker 1: Really? I totally can identify with that. I went through
Speaker 1: the fear, you know, I went through fomo fear of
Speaker 1: missing out. Oh my gosh, what's gonna happen? Look at
Speaker 1: all the people that are gonna be there. Maybe I
Speaker 1: should be there, Maybe it should be networking. But one
Speaker 1: of the things when I knew about different things we
Speaker 1: were turning down, I've been really intentional about taking those
Speaker 1: same days or weekends and deliberately spending time with my
Speaker 1: family or doing something that really made me feel like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know what, I didn't miss anything because this is
Speaker 1: where it was at, Like this, putting makeup on with
Speaker 1: my daughter, letting her tell me I want mommy, I
Speaker 1: want you to beat my face. Oh no. And we
Speaker 1: had a little music makeup in mimosas with Apple cider,
Speaker 1: of course, but us having that moment and just spending
Speaker 1: that type of time. Honestly, it fulfilled me in such
Speaker 1: a way, like it makes me so happy that it
Speaker 1: also provided like the peace of mind and clarity to
Speaker 1: go create what did fit? You know, So a lot
Speaker 1: of things have happened over these last couple of years,
Speaker 1: Like this past year, I launched a whole new website
Speaker 1: at Patreseashington dot com, and I really put time into
Speaker 1: thinking about what are the things that have truly helped
Speaker 1: me rebuild. So when you guys go back and listen
Speaker 1: to my first episode, I'm sure you'll hear my story
Speaker 1: about going from you know, a seven figure business I
Speaker 1: built out of college, to losing it all in the recession,
Speaker 1: scraping up change, living on my brother's couch in two
Speaker 1: thousand and nine to rebuilding everything and becoming America's money Maven.
Speaker 1: And one of the things I got clear on during
Speaker 1: that time is that I really felt like I was
Speaker 1: starting to do people a disservice by not telling them
Speaker 1: my full story. You know, It's like, how do you
Speaker 1: end up? How do you go from your brother's couch
Speaker 1: to now you're sitting on this couch across from Steve
Speaker 1: Harvey on his talk show every month, like little something
Speaker 1: happened in between you think like maybe maybe there's some
Speaker 1: things that we could talk about. And because I only
Speaker 1: ever had time to talk in sound bites, right, Like,
Speaker 1: I never could really get into it the way that
Speaker 1: I wanted to. And so over the last year and
Speaker 1: a half it was really like just heavy on me,
Speaker 1: Like you need to create something so you can tell
Speaker 1: your own story, so that you can share the things
Speaker 1: that you've done that have helped you. Like, of what
Speaker 1: other place would I be able to talk about you know, music,
Speaker 1: makeup and mimosas with my daughter, slash apple cider with
Speaker 1: my daughter, Like where else could I really talk about that?
Speaker 1: Not on the Steve Harvey Show. I mean, shout out
Speaker 1: to see I love them, but not there. They don't
Speaker 1: want to hear that I'm the money Maven. So I
Speaker 1: got to only talk about money and that's it. But
Speaker 1: I really believe and have believed for a long time,
Speaker 1: as I'm sure I said in that interview before that
Speaker 1: building wealth has one hundred percent nothing to do with money.
Speaker 1: It has one hundred percent everything to do with us
Speaker 1: in our mindsets towards money. And I believe that your
Speaker 1: mindset really dictates what your habits are and there were
Speaker 1: some really you know, deliberate and specific habits that I've
Speaker 1: developed over the last several years. But I wasn't comfortable
Speaker 1: getting out of that box at first, Like I said that,
Speaker 1: fear of like, oh, this is what they brought me
Speaker 1: here to do. I wasn't comfortable getting out of the box.
Speaker 1: And so like the last year and a half, I've
Speaker 1: been like, that's it. I'm out the box. Like I
Speaker 1: got to get out the box by any means necessary.
Speaker 1: And that's where, like my whole tagline chase purpose not money.
Speaker 1: I don't only say that to encourage other people. That's
Speaker 1: a reminder to myself, like every day that I got
Speaker 1: to do things that fit who I am now, not
Speaker 1: who the money maybe it was in twenty ten. No,
Speaker 1: I love that. So what would you say, because I
Speaker 1: know you have your podcast and the uh is it
Speaker 1: called Redefining Wealth? Yeah, it's called the Redefining Wealth Podcast. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So if if you were to define wealth personally for yourself,
Speaker 1: so you know, many people would be like wealth is
Speaker 1: having you know, a million dollars in the bank or whatever.
Speaker 1: What is your personal definition of wealth for you? My
Speaker 1: personal definition of wealth is the freedom to do what
Speaker 1: I want, when I want, with people I want to
Speaker 1: do it with. It's literally just freedom. And that was
Speaker 1: the thing Tiff, like, I looked up long ago. But
Speaker 1: it's funny, like I looked it up a long time ago.
Speaker 1: I would say, maybe like two thousand and eight or nine.
Speaker 1: This is around the time that I had lost everything
Speaker 1: and I looked up for some reason. I was probably
Speaker 1: blogging around in an article. But the definition of wealth,
Speaker 1: and so when you look at it, the first few
Speaker 1: definitions are all about material possessions and money and assets,
Speaker 1: and it's all the stuff that we think of. And
Speaker 1: if if you're a millennial who's connected on social media,
Speaker 1: you think wealth is yachts and true and like luxury
Speaker 1: travel and cars or shoes or whatever you think it is.
Speaker 1: But when you dig really deep the if you look
Speaker 1: at most online dictionaries, for sure, you'll see like seventh
Speaker 1: eighth definition all the way down. It says on a
Speaker 1: lot of them, the twelfth century definition of wealth means
Speaker 1: well being, like the true like weao, wealth is well
Speaker 1: being and thh the condition. So back in the day,
Speaker 1: way back in the day, people considered wealth more like happiness.
Speaker 1: And it's so funny how we have totally gone, you know,
Speaker 1: to the extreme. On the other side of wealth is
Speaker 1: just stuff. But I think we all know for ourselves
Speaker 1: or no people who will tell us for sure that
Speaker 1: stuff doesn't make you happy. Yeah, so those are not though,
Speaker 1: like those are not usually exclusive, you know, like that
Speaker 1: does not have to work hand in hand. And when
Speaker 1: I really thought about during this kind of mini sabbatical
Speaker 1: I've had, when I really thought about it and thought
Speaker 1: about my life from two thousand and seven, when the
Speaker 1: recession began for me and I started to kind of
Speaker 1: spiral down. By two thousand and nine, I was on
Speaker 1: that couch and when I thought about that, the things
Speaker 1: that I was doing every day, it really had to
Speaker 1: do with all these other areas of my life. Yes,
Speaker 1: I was focused on my finances, but there's only so
Speaker 1: much you can do every day on your finances, Like
Speaker 1: there's twenty four hours in the day. Like you can't
Speaker 1: sit and look at your budget all day, or you
Speaker 1: can't like run your credit over and over again, or
Speaker 1: didn't watch your stocks or whatever like all day. There's
Speaker 1: other habits that you got to have in place. And
Speaker 1: I just picked up some through research, some through coaching,
Speaker 1: some through mentorship and some through that just happened intuitively,
Speaker 1: because you know, like I said, I was pretty successful
Speaker 1: before all the recession and all that. I just started
Speaker 1: looking at the different areas of my life that I
Speaker 1: really felt like had contributed to my wealth, contributed to
Speaker 1: me being where I am today, And money was definitely one,
Speaker 1: my work was one, but there were other areas that
Speaker 1: I feel like just as much contributed. And that's what
Speaker 1: I wanted to share with other people, Like, maybe if
Speaker 1: you feel like you've been stuck and you've been trying
Speaker 1: to do all the right things with your money and
Speaker 1: you're still not getting ahead, maybe you gotta consider looking
Speaker 1: at some other areas of your life to help you
Speaker 1: get unstuck and get you closer to what you say
Speaker 1: you want.
Speaker 3: M What do you think it is that holds people back?
Speaker 3: Like we get, you know, we get questions about that.
Speaker 3: I actually just listened to a whole podcast about the
Speaker 3: idea of being stuck. Like someone who's stuck and maybe
Speaker 3: doesn't have the resources or doesn't think they have the
Speaker 3: resources to get out of a certain situation or to
Speaker 3: leave the job they're unhappy with. I mean, would you
Speaker 3: say to people in those situations, you weren't starting from
Speaker 3: a place where they are their own boss, you know,
Speaker 3: like some entrepreneurs are.
Speaker 1: Well. One of the things that helped me get unstuck
Speaker 1: during that period, in particular when I did lose everything,
Speaker 1: because you know, I like, like I said, I went
Speaker 1: from a seven figure business to scraping of change, you know,
Speaker 1: so that comes with all of the fear of you know,
Speaker 1: people finding out, the guilt, the embarrassment, the shame, the
Speaker 1: how did I do this? Like what is wrong with me?
Speaker 1: And so for a period there, it was a short period,
Speaker 1: but it was a period nonetheless where I just felt
Speaker 1: like a failure and it was like you've lost it.
Speaker 1: And I mean I was like twenty six years old,
Speaker 1: and it felt like your life is over, You're done,
Speaker 1: like you're a rap, you know. And in redefining well,
Speaker 1: one of the first pillars is called fit, and fit
Speaker 1: is about becoming your best self. And so a lot
Speaker 1: of people tend to further their brows sometimes when they
Speaker 1: hear me talk about fit because they think I'm automatically
Speaker 1: talking about physical fitness, which is one component. But the
Speaker 1: other thing I had to get really clear on was
Speaker 1: my mental fitness and when you have been through different
Speaker 1: things or failures or stepbacks, and you have been so
Speaker 1: beat up by life, you know, your mind can go
Speaker 1: to some dark places. Not sure if anyone's ever been there,
Speaker 1: you know, you guys, but your mind can go to
Speaker 1: some dark places. And one of the things that I
Speaker 1: really needed to work through was just giving myself permission
Speaker 1: mentally first and foremost to accept that I was in
Speaker 1: a bad spot, like I had lost all my money,
Speaker 1: but my mind was not bad, you know, like this
Speaker 1: was literally an event, this is not you. And to
Speaker 1: get unstuck. Some things that I did do was use
Speaker 1: like community resources for therapy when I lived in Atlanta,
Speaker 1: because I needed to talk to somebody, like my family
Speaker 1: wasn't getting it. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna lie,
Speaker 1: and I'm a big believer and a spiritual person and stuff,
Speaker 1: but folks telling me to pray about it wasn't helping either,
Speaker 1: Like it just wasn't getting me over the hump. I
Speaker 1: would pray about it, feel like Okay, I left it
Speaker 1: on the altar or whatever, and then like a couple
Speaker 1: hours later, I'd be like, you know, like what happened
Speaker 1: to my life? How did I get here, especially when
Speaker 1: I was coming home the notices on the door and
Speaker 1: all kind of stuff like, So going to therapy really
Speaker 1: helped me separate who I was from what had happened, okay,
Speaker 1: and not make those all one thing. And once I
Speaker 1: was able to take like a step back or even
Speaker 1: like a bird's eye view and kind of hover over
Speaker 1: this is the situation that's going on, like look down
Speaker 1: on that and try to, you know, move the pieces
Speaker 1: around best you can. But when you're in it, you
Speaker 1: can't see it. Like when I was in it, I
Speaker 1: had done everything that I could do, so I really
Speaker 1: felt like I had no other alternatives, Like I was
Speaker 1: exhausted and just sick and tired of being sick and
Speaker 1: tired at that time. And so one of the things
Speaker 1: I always share with people is if you really feel stuck,
Speaker 1: faith is one way to kind of help you move
Speaker 1: on or get out of that. But becoming mentally fit
Speaker 1: and talking to someone, talking to a professional, like I
Speaker 1: tell people, what if your success is on the other
Speaker 1: side of you, like sitting on somebody's couch and just saying, like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I don't know what, I don't know,
Speaker 1: but I know this isn't right and I need something,
Speaker 1: and so therapy was a big, big help for me,
Speaker 1: still is to this day. So I met with my
Speaker 1: accountant today. I was finally paying my quarter three taxes
Speaker 1: of all late but whatever, they're paid. And I was
Speaker 1: asking him because sometimes you know, there's so many numbers, numbers, numbers,
Speaker 1: and I said, okay, so you know how much did
Speaker 1: I make for the year? And he was sharing and
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, how come I'm that? And I
Speaker 1: told him. I was like, how come and I'm I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm frugal by nature just because I just I guess
Speaker 1: I grew up frugal. But I was like, dang, you
Speaker 1: know this is like what you know, I'm sure you
Speaker 1: know doctor's make right, like like all paid doctor And
Speaker 1: he was like yeah, if not more. I said, well,
Speaker 1: how come I'm not living in one of those big houses.
Speaker 1: I mean I did just buy a house, but those
Speaker 1: big houses on the hill. And he was like, can
Speaker 1: I let you in on a little secret because he
Speaker 1: does a lot of taxes. He was like, many of
Speaker 1: those doctors that live on the hill are broke. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they can't afford it. Yeah, so why do you think
Speaker 1: we do that? So what pillar kind of addresses that
Speaker 1: that of your redefining wealth. Why is it that someone
Speaker 1: who's making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year puts
Speaker 1: themselves in a position that to not be able to
Speaker 1: really afford their life? Why do we do that? You
Speaker 1: know what, It's funny you ask which pillar because it's
Speaker 1: really all of them. Like my big thing with reader
Speaker 1: defining wealth, a part of my big thing one is
Speaker 1: living your life's purpose, but the other is finding fulfillment.
Speaker 1: And a lot of people make those decisions because they're
Speaker 1: trying to fill a void. Right, So if you are
Speaker 1: trying to fill the void of maybe some relationships that
Speaker 1: didn't work out, but it could be with parents or family, friends, whatever,
Speaker 1: and you're on this constant chase to prove yourself, then
Speaker 1: you make those types of decisions. You don't know that
Speaker 1: that's why you're doing it. You're not aware of it
Speaker 1: until you go go back and maybe do some work
Speaker 1: and look at that first pillar with the mental fitness piece.
Speaker 1: But a lot of people just they aren't even aware
Speaker 1: that they're doing it. Like that's why I talked about
Speaker 1: rationalizing and rationing out lies, Like we tell ourselves so
Speaker 1: many lies and we don't consider them to be lies.
Speaker 1: But we create these stories in our mind and then
Speaker 1: we justify them, and we can justify them to the
Speaker 1: cows come home. But at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: like right as right as mc granny used to saying,
Speaker 1: wrong is wrong. If there's wrong, it's wrong, and if
Speaker 1: your accountant tells you it's wrong, it's probably definitely wrong.
Speaker 1: But all of these areas for me, these pills, like
Speaker 1: I really believe when people are just because you're a doctor,
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean you love it. Just because you're a lawyer,
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean you love it. As a matter of fact,
Speaker 1: most of my friends who are lawyers kind of hate
Speaker 1: it in some former fashion. They're always complaining about it,
Speaker 1: even though they make great money. And so the workpiece,
Speaker 1: which is about living out your life's purpose, I speak
Speaker 1: to the fact that there are a lot of us
Speaker 1: who made career choices in particular because we were advised to.
Speaker 1: Because I know, tif you're Nigerian and I'm Bellegian. You know,
Speaker 1: they can be very persuasive parents who's trying to you know,
Speaker 1: you got about three or four options to work from.
Speaker 1: You know, I didn't go down that path. So my
Speaker 1: dad was very disappointed that I wasn't an attorney, a doctor,
Speaker 1: a pharmacist or whatever. Those are the big three, you know,
Speaker 1: so when you are not, I really believe that when
Speaker 1: people are not living in their purpose, it is really
Speaker 1: easy for them to not be able to say priorities
Speaker 1: because you're trying to fill the void. So if what
Speaker 1: you're doing day in and day out does not really
Speaker 1: just fill you with joy, you know, and just true
Speaker 1: make you feel like, man, this is what I'm here for,
Speaker 1: this is what I was called to do, then you
Speaker 1: do stuff like, well, at least I got to have
Speaker 1: a house that I love that shows that like I
Speaker 1: made it, you know, or at least I have to
Speaker 1: drive nice, or at least I have to wear the
Speaker 1: best clothes. So we start to rationalize, and it happens
Speaker 1: every day, and many of us do it in different ways.
Speaker 1: Just some of us do it to our own detriment.
Speaker 1: I think everyone has a little something in them, but
Speaker 1: some of us just go way too far. But I
Speaker 1: don't believe you can recondition what you haven't recognize, and
Speaker 1: that's where we have to start, is like doing the
Speaker 1: work to recognize what are those things that kind of
Speaker 1: set us off.
Speaker 3: I feel like it's almost the curse of the word supposed,
Speaker 3: Like I'm supposed to fill in the blank. I'm supposed
Speaker 3: to have a house, I'm supposed to have a kid,
Speaker 3: I'm supposed to have the car I'm supposed to. But
Speaker 3: sometimes I want to shake people and be like, who
Speaker 3: told you you're supposed to? And I think, yeah, part
Speaker 3: of it is like you internalize. I think you grow
Speaker 3: up like you don't realize it as you're older, but
Speaker 3: you maybe internalize the ambitions of your parents or like
Speaker 3: what they think is is right. And of course social
Speaker 3: media you can you can obviously cee. You can just
Speaker 3: see everyone living their life and immediately compare yourself to it,
Speaker 3: and it'll feel like you're supposed to be doing you know,
Speaker 3: dot dot dot and I and I. I find myself
Speaker 3: now in my thirties, really pushing against that, the notions
Speaker 3: that that seem like I'm supposed to be doing this
Speaker 3: and wondering like why am I supposed to?
Speaker 2: Why am I supposed to be buying a house right now?
Speaker 2: Right just because I have money.
Speaker 1: I've got with some girlfriends just this past weekend and
Speaker 1: we were doing the cousin is supposed to. It was
Speaker 1: the should you should?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's like we were all like you know what every time,
Speaker 1: and that especially with taking on events or going to
Speaker 1: speaking engagements, so those types of things that every time
Speaker 1: I get asked to do something, and it's not like
Speaker 1: a hell yeah, if it's remotely well, I guess I should,
Speaker 1: I stop myself, like and that has been a very
Speaker 1: conscious choice. But I realized that I was very into
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess I should do it because and
Speaker 1: then searching for the dot dot dot like, oh it
Speaker 1: might be great networking, Oh so and so is going
Speaker 1: to be there, Oh well maybe I can, and don't
Speaker 1: you know, like most of the time that stuff never
Speaker 1: pans out like very rarely. It's like, really the things
Speaker 1: that I go to where I have no expectation is
Speaker 1: where all like the juicy great stuff happens. Like the
Speaker 1: person I meet in the bathroom, you know, sitting on
Speaker 1: the random couch in the ladies room, or the person
Speaker 1: I meet broom sick about the person I meet about
Speaker 1: and like I meet in the hallway, or it's some
Speaker 1: random occurrence that I that I really couldn't have planned
Speaker 1: for any way. But the should are not always what
Speaker 1: even pans out to be any thing worthy. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm like, every time I say I should if that
Speaker 1: even comes up, then I have to examine that before
Speaker 1: I move forward. Yeah, oh my goodness. I'm just like,
Speaker 1: it's scary though to and I and I've been through
Speaker 1: so many transitions where and typically as soon as you transition,
Speaker 1: you drop right And that drop is what people are
Speaker 1: afraid of. So you know, when I transition from I
Speaker 1: don't want to do one on ones anymore, all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, I took a drop in income for the
Speaker 1: first few months, and I was like, oh, why did
Speaker 1: I do this? And then rebounded when I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I like doing these in person classes.
Speaker 1: And then when I said I don't want to do
Speaker 1: in person classes anymore, the drop happened. And I know
Speaker 1: that I'm ready to transition. And even though I'm like, Tippy,
Speaker 1: You're gonna be fine, it is scary to say, but
Speaker 1: but that drop. Am I gonna be okay? Am I
Speaker 1: gonna Is this the time that I'm not gonna recover
Speaker 1: from that drop? I think that's what people are afraid
Speaker 1: of most. Like, I know that I want to take
Speaker 1: a that back, and I don't even know what that
Speaker 1: looks like in some way, in so many ways I have,
Speaker 1: and then I filled it with other things. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know what, I want to do these things. I'm
Speaker 1: so busy today. Honestly though, I had a terrible day
Speaker 1: and I was like and normally like I'm really up
Speaker 1: upbeat and have to go lucky, and I don't notice
Speaker 1: how much I have going on. But when you have
Speaker 1: a terrible day, you start to realize. And I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: throw everything away, everybody, nobody, I'm going back to teaching
Speaker 1: preschool where the babies. I felt like that. Not too
Speaker 1: long ago. I posted that in one of the groups
Speaker 1: that were in. I was like, have you ever just
Speaker 1: been like, forget it. I'm gonna start from scratch. I
Speaker 1: want a whole new name. I might need another husband,
Speaker 1: a different husband who could give me a different last name.
Speaker 1: I'm throwing everything out, Like I think that that is
Speaker 1: such a natural part of entrepreneurship. Like if you don't
Speaker 1: want to stop everything that you're doing at least once
Speaker 1: or twice a year, don't know, like I don't know
Speaker 1: what you're doing, because that's I think that you have.
Speaker 1: First of all, you have to have that level of crazy,
Speaker 1: I think, but that's the thing that makes you just
Speaker 1: like also keep pushing in an odd way, because like
Speaker 1: I'll have a day like that, and then the next
Speaker 1: day I'm like, oh on devil, you know, I feel
Speaker 1: like this come back, like there's resurgence of power, like
Speaker 1: absolutely not that will not happen to me today. And
Speaker 1: then I get like ninety seven things done in one
Speaker 1: day that totally made up for the three that I've
Speaker 1: fumbled on the day before. So you know, I don't know,
Speaker 1: but I totally get you.
Speaker 2: What are some ways let's talk about the business.
Speaker 3: I like to talk about the money the money hunter,
Speaker 3: but like with your businesses, I mean you're both in
Speaker 3: sort of uh similar businesses, I guess, But what are
Speaker 3: can you talk about, like real talk about the different
Speaker 3: income streams that you have from your business and how
Speaker 3: you sort of diversify that. I know that's a big
Speaker 3: component of like being an entrepreneur today is not just
Speaker 3: having one like all your income coming from one source.
Speaker 3: The same way you don't want to like put all
Speaker 3: of your money in one savings account forever. You want
Speaker 3: to diversify.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So there's a couple different things although I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm in transition mode, right. So I used to have
Speaker 1: all the these products and smaller programs and I would
Speaker 1: offer them to churches and nonprofits and they would really
Speaker 1: pay me. So a lot of what I do I
Speaker 1: don't necessarily charge like an individual. I've always been kind
Speaker 1: of more inclined to really just I mean, similar to Tiffany.
Speaker 1: I would say, like, nurture, nurture people, nurture the audience,
Speaker 1: but then charge the brands, right or charge whoever that
Speaker 1: would bring me out. So speaking is a big component
Speaker 1: of my income. Also, being a spokesperson or a brand ambassador,
Speaker 1: over the last few years has become a great portion
Speaker 1: of income. And I actually look forward to doing those
Speaker 1: because I could work with fewer brands that I really like,
Speaker 1: but I just charge you more and so I don't
Speaker 1: have to do a million smaller things, which goes back
Speaker 1: to the whole the family piece I was talking about
Speaker 1: in the beginning. And then some of those partners they
Speaker 1: pay for my radio segment. I still am on the
Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show. I still have a weekly segment
Speaker 1: about two to three million listeners fifty four cities, and
Speaker 1: I've been on there now every week for about three
Speaker 1: and a half years. So there's some back end stuff
Speaker 1: that I get through my partnership with iHeartRadio, which is
Speaker 1: actually who helped me launch the podcast. They really wanted
Speaker 1: to deepen the car, help me deepen the conversation, but
Speaker 1: also use that as a tool to promote to their sponsors.
Speaker 1: And the thing I think I'm getting most excited about
Speaker 1: I haven't done it in a long time though. It
Speaker 1: is like group coaching, like like you know, like you said, Tiffany,
Speaker 1: you go in and out. So I'm in that dip
Speaker 1: right now because I totally shut off my one on
Speaker 1: one coaching because it just didn't fit anymore. Like I was, like,
Speaker 1: I mean I could, I should, but I don't want to.
Speaker 1: Like I really want to walk women, especially high achieving women,
Speaker 1: through what these pillars really mean, you know, for redefining wealth,
Speaker 1: like the areas that we can really work in on
Speaker 1: our lives, especially if we know that we have a
Speaker 1: full life, but something deep down inside is still unfulfilled.
Speaker 1: Because I think if there is that unfulfillment, eventually, it's
Speaker 1: going to lead to financial mismanagement in some form or fashion.
Speaker 1: So I feel like my path to helping people get
Speaker 1: to their wealth is making sure that there's well being
Speaker 1: in all the other areas of their lives, and then
Speaker 1: we can talk about how to manage you know, the
Speaker 1: money that you do have wisely. But I feel like
Speaker 1: if we don't address some of these other air areas,
Speaker 1: you'll always be a hot mess.
Speaker 3: So yeah, don't you feel like sometimes people focus on
Speaker 3: like the bottom line, like they're like, Okay, as soon
Speaker 3: as I finish law school, then I'll have a social life,
Speaker 3: as soon as as soon as I get that promotion,
Speaker 3: then I'll focus on you know that that mole that
Speaker 3: I have on my left shoulders, you know, maybe not
Speaker 3: that serious too.
Speaker 1: That is no way to live. That is no way
Speaker 1: to live. And that's what like I did this group
Speaker 1: coaching with Steve Harvey's group Act Like a Success. That's
Speaker 1: kind of where I piloted this, and the results have
Speaker 1: been so phenomenal, so moving. But one of the things
Speaker 1: that hit me recently was one of the participants sent
Speaker 1: me a message and said, you know, in the fit
Speaker 1: in the fifth pillar, the first pillar I basically shared
Speaker 1: with the ladies. I said, you know what, if you
Speaker 1: have a vision for your life, you have a duty
Speaker 1: and a responsibility to protect the vessel that's needed to
Speaker 1: execute the vision, Like we cannot go and go and
Speaker 1: go and hustle and grind and then neglect the only
Speaker 1: body we have, right like that, you only get one,
Speaker 1: Like you can't neglect this body, put garbage in it
Speaker 1: and expect to get like great results out Like you can't.
Speaker 1: And one of the things that I said is in
Speaker 1: the next seven days, for any of you who are
Speaker 1: ignoring any slight pain, any discomfort, anything that you've questioned
Speaker 1: and it's been going on for weeks or months or
Speaker 1: years and you've been putting it off, I want you
Speaker 1: to figure out who the specialist, who the doctor is
Speaker 1: you need to go to and make an appointment within
Speaker 1: the next seven days, Right, I think about sixty or
Speaker 1: seventy percent of the people actually did it. And one
Speaker 1: woman ended up sending me a message and sharing that
Speaker 1: she found a lump on her breast and that they
Speaker 1: were catching it just in time. Wow, And that was
Speaker 1: like I'm sitting here reading this freaking direct message and
Speaker 1: I'm like wow, Like, so what good would it be
Speaker 1: for you to be And she had a great job
Speaker 1: all this stuff, but what good is it for you?
Speaker 1: To make one hundred and fifty two hundred thousand dollars
Speaker 1: a year and you ain't even here and in the
Speaker 1: next day because you haven't taken care of yourself, Like
Speaker 1: what good is that? You know? I always think of
Speaker 1: like Steve Jobs, like this man who shifted, like no
Speaker 1: one's life is the same and he got here. No
Speaker 1: matter how much money that this billionaire man had, he
Speaker 1: is not here. And I always think that that, like,
Speaker 1: you can't wealth your way to health necessarily. You know,
Speaker 1: of course there are some things, like you know, there's
Speaker 1: medicine and doctors, but ultimately, if you don't take the
Speaker 1: time to take care of yourself. And I have to
Speaker 1: say that I'm not here to judge whether he did
Speaker 1: or did it, but it just just goes to show
Speaker 1: that there's just there's no substitute for health, no amount
Speaker 1: of money that can guarantee you know, your life here. Wow,
Speaker 1: that's just really And that's why I say that pillar
Speaker 1: is not about being skinny. So when people seem fit,
Speaker 1: you know, they're like, oh, you want me to just
Speaker 1: go to the gym. You're talking about being skinny, that's
Speaker 1: easy for you. First of all, I have been thin
Speaker 1: relatively my entire life. I've also had high blood pressure.
Speaker 1: I've also had issues with like acidic acid and my stomach,
Speaker 1: and like a gap in my esasagus that was causing
Speaker 1: all kind of issues and all kinds of stuff like
Speaker 1: being thin doesn't matter, That doesn't make you healthy. And
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, even if I say
Speaker 1: that what I'm doing is to leave a legacy for
Speaker 1: my daughter, wouldn't it be nicer for me to just
Speaker 1: live a little longer so I could also be here
Speaker 1: for her. Yeah, I'm not working to make money to
Speaker 1: just make sure she goes to school death free, like
Speaker 1: I'd like to be at the graduation. That'd be nice.
Speaker 1: And so that those are some of the things over
Speaker 1: these several years where I started to take more control
Speaker 1: of my health. I stopped with all that, Oh, i'm
Speaker 1: young girl. By I mean i'm young, I ain't old old,
Speaker 1: but I'm not twenty. Don't it get really get thirty? Though?
Speaker 1: I was just told that, I said, I remember all
Speaker 1: of this in my twenties. I was boxing yesterday and
Speaker 1: I still feel it in my lower back, all this
Speaker 1: little turn your body quick and all this. I'm like, sir,
Speaker 1: you're twenty something. Little coach like hold on now. But
Speaker 1: but yeah, it's not just about that. It's like an
Speaker 1: overall overarching thing.
Speaker 2: Now real quick. You you're married, right.
Speaker 1: I am ten years in December.
Speaker 2: Congratulations show a decade.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm trying to make a six months married.
Speaker 1: I know, congress both of you. I know I liked
Speaker 1: your little pictures and stuff on Facebook. I was lurking
Speaker 1: and oh so happy for both of you. Welcome to
Speaker 1: the fold.
Speaker 3: Well, you are a veteran, but I was going to
Speaker 3: ask if you wanted to talk about how you and
Speaker 3: your husband, you know, if is he part of this
Speaker 3: of the strategy? You know that not strategy, but you know,
Speaker 3: when you took a step back from your whatever you
Speaker 3: were doing in your business and wanted a transition. I mean,
Speaker 3: how do you guys talk to each other about that?
Speaker 3: And where is he incorporated and supporting and vice versa.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, So the second pillar actually for redefining wealth
Speaker 1: is people, and people is all about creating relationships that matter.
Speaker 1: And one of the things after my daughter got me
Speaker 1: all the way together in the kitchen that one day,
Speaker 1: that one Sunday, I talked to my husband about it,
Speaker 1: and he was like, I mean, well, yeah, I'm like,
Speaker 1: what do you mean. Yeah, you know. I first told
Speaker 1: him like can you believe and he was like, yeah, totally, yeah,
Speaker 1: totally believe it. I was like, you know, when you
Speaker 1: were looking for a little camaraderie and thought someone would
Speaker 1: have your back, and he gave me none of that
Speaker 1: because he's a real friend. So my husband and I
Speaker 1: ended up having a great conversation too, and that really
Speaker 1: began the beginning of us like really being more intentional
Speaker 1: about not having our phone out during dinner and when
Speaker 1: someone's talking to you, you look up from the phone,
Speaker 1: like you don't keep looking at the phone like I
Speaker 1: hear you, I hear you, go ahead. Meanwhile you're like
Speaker 1: laser focused on your text message or your email or whatever.
Speaker 1: We had to work through some things that we could do,
Speaker 1: one to really I think, rebuild and continue to build
Speaker 1: intimacy and our marriage, but also to be a better
Speaker 1: example for our daughter. And one of the greatest things
Speaker 1: that you can give your spouse is just your time
Speaker 1: and attention. And it's really easy. You know, when I
Speaker 1: was sleeping on the couch, my husband was too. You know,
Speaker 1: he took a job at Taco Bell and was working
Speaker 1: at Taco Bell having people throw open faced tacos through
Speaker 1: the drive through in his face like he went through
Speaker 1: it during that time. And so while I've been building
Speaker 1: this brand, he's been rebuilding himself and now he again
Speaker 1: has a seven figure business as well. And one of
Speaker 1: the things that we attribute that to is not just
Speaker 1: you know, getting clear about what we wanted to do
Speaker 1: and chasing our passions and all that stuff. It's also
Speaker 1: the support that we've given each other in the time,
Speaker 1: time and attention we put in. Like we're very deliberate
Speaker 1: about date night. There was a time around the same
Speaker 1: time that my daughter got with me real tough in
Speaker 1: the kitchen. You know, we were doing deliberate date nights
Speaker 1: every week for years, even when we were broke. When
Speaker 1: we were in New Orleans, broke and we had like
Speaker 1: a raggedy pickup truck, we would go to a Beignet shop,
Speaker 1: a Cafe Dumont near us UH in New Orleans and
Speaker 1: you know, play like three dollars. Oh, get us some Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking about it right now, get us. Did
Speaker 1: you hear it? I heard it. Hold on to you.
Speaker 1: Let me get myself together. Yeah, we get like hot
Speaker 1: chocolate and share it. And we would put the back
Speaker 1: down on that pickup truck and just sit back there.
Speaker 1: We're talking like a five dollars date and we were
Speaker 1: just sitting in the back of the pickup truck and
Speaker 1: eat beignets and share one hot chocolate. And the more
Speaker 1: money we made and the more stuff that we had
Speaker 1: over the years, we did start, like, you know, not
Speaker 1: doing those things regularly, like we would have date night,
Speaker 1: but we would allow it to get pushed to the
Speaker 1: side if something else come up. And it was not
Speaker 1: like anyone was bitter in the moment. It was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you gotta do that, Okay, Well cool, I guess I'll
Speaker 1: just work on this, like we'll find another day. But
Speaker 1: then weeks turn into months and you haven't had your
Speaker 1: consistent date night. And so since twenty fifteen, we've been really,
Speaker 1: really deliberate. We have a date night pretty much every
Speaker 1: Tuesday or Wednesday night. We learned very quickly that Friday
Speaker 1: and Saturdays, young people want to go out and do
Speaker 1: their thing. You cannot depend on them the babysit, so
Speaker 1: you have to pull your fun into the middle of
Speaker 1: the week. So bro so like Tuesdays and Wednesdays. We're
Speaker 1: really deliberate about date night. And you know, my husband
Speaker 1: works in entertainment now and he works on a show
Speaker 1: and the show was actually taping talk. The new schedule
Speaker 1: came out and the show was taping on Tuesday nights,
Speaker 1: which would normally be our date night. And the thing
Speaker 1: that really got me, you guys, this is a in
Speaker 1: August of this year. As soon as he got the
Speaker 1: tape schedule, he literally forwarded it to me and then
Speaker 1: he called me and said, did you look at the email?
Speaker 1: And I said no, and he's like, can you open it?
Speaker 1: So I open it and maybe he had that email
Speaker 1: in his inbox for fifteen minutes and he immediately thought,
Speaker 1: this conflicts with date night, so he renegotiated a new night,
Speaker 1: like right there on the spot, and I was like, dang.
Speaker 1: Four or five years ago, no, wouldn't have happened. He'd
Speaker 1: have been like, hey, so, and we would have just
Speaker 1: like let it go. But so deliberate. We've been using
Speaker 1: that to test out different restaurants and areas that we
Speaker 1: wouldn't normally go to. So we take turns finding things
Speaker 1: on Yelp or hear things that we've heard about and
Speaker 1: we'll just go to a completely different area, have a
Speaker 1: nice dinner. Sometimes we go to work out together. That's
Speaker 1: the other thing. We work out together. Three days a
Speaker 1: week at six o'clock in the morning, we go to
Speaker 1: boxing together. That's relatively new. That's been like since early summer,
Speaker 1: so we've been doing that about five or six months.
Speaker 1: But we're just constantly finding things for us to do together,
Speaker 1: and that has been again so fulfilling because when there
Speaker 1: is something that we have to do, like he is
Speaker 1: actually on a flight right now to New York to
Speaker 1: take something and so we're not having date nights tonight,
Speaker 1: but not this weekend. But the previous weekend he took
Speaker 1: me on a little vacation to Newport Beach. Three days.
Speaker 1: We hung out, We spent a lot of time together.
Speaker 1: We went to the spa and it was just beautiful.
Speaker 1: But he makes sure we both make sure that we
Speaker 1: deposit so that nobody feels depleted, you know, when there
Speaker 1: are those times when work has to make a withdraw,
Speaker 1: and same thing for my daughter, like I've been so
Speaker 1: much more intentional about this time that I been with
Speaker 1: her that when I do have to go speak or
Speaker 1: when I am going to work, if it's something that
Speaker 1: she can't come to, she's like, go get them, girlfriend,
Speaker 1: Like this is truly like my little friend. Or when
Speaker 1: I come back, she's like, you sold all your books?
Speaker 1: You sold all your books? Did you come home with anything?
Speaker 1: She's also slash manager in this relationship, but they're so proud,
Speaker 1: and so by being more deliberate and intentional with them,
Speaker 1: it allows me to stand up and be great when
Speaker 1: I'm out, Like I feel my most confident and bold
Speaker 1: self when I'm on stage, when I'm on TV, when
Speaker 1: I'm doing my stuff, because I know I got people
Speaker 1: that love me no matter what. So even if I
Speaker 1: fall right here, I'm still going home to a house
Speaker 1: full of love. So if you don't like me, that's fine.
Speaker 1: I can accept it. But I know that before I came,
Speaker 1: I was being nurtured and encouraged, and when I leave here,
Speaker 1: I'll be nurtured and encouraged, And for me, that matters
Speaker 1: so much more. I definitely love the feedback from my
Speaker 1: audience or from producers or from whoever, but nothing beats
Speaker 1: what my family thinks about me. I love that. I
Speaker 1: think that that truly to me is redefining wealth, and
Speaker 1: and I think that, right, Mandy, that that's like such
Speaker 1: good feedback. I mean, well, because I want to figure out,
Speaker 1: like what what can we do more of? Because I
Speaker 1: do get the reason why people always ask like, you know,
Speaker 1: how how am I able? Or why have I grown
Speaker 1: so quickly? And it's not that I've grown quickly, but
Speaker 1: I saw the huge boost when I got with my
Speaker 1: husband because because in meanwhile, he's just a regular regular
Speaker 1: you know, nine to five, just the regular guy. And
Speaker 1: I remember he would always ask like, oh, you know,
Speaker 1: you sure you don't want one of those like you
Speaker 1: know whatever, guys. I'm like, I don't know what you mean,
Speaker 1: but you know that. But it's because there's such a
Speaker 1: solid foundation, because I am always someone's foundation, right, I
Speaker 1: am big Mama in my family, like you know, like
Speaker 1: everybody Rwanda. Yeah, so I carry a lot and there
Speaker 1: was I've never been with someone who there is that
Speaker 1: I could actually lean on confidently except for my father
Speaker 1: there so he set a good example of this is
Speaker 1: what it looks like to lean on someone financially spiritually
Speaker 1: because you know, and so every guy that I dated,
Speaker 1: I became my father to them, which is like I
Speaker 1: was the I got you lean on me you know,
Speaker 1: and I didn't realize that that I was turning every
Speaker 1: man into my child. I met my husband and he
Speaker 1: was like, I don't know who you think you're raising,
Speaker 1: fully grown Come on, Superman, you can actually lean on me.
Speaker 1: And I remember I was like, well, you know, I
Speaker 1: make a little bit more and so you know, I
Speaker 1: can handle these bills. He was like, they were paid
Speaker 1: before you got here, so I need you to take
Speaker 1: a seat and I will handle the bill. It was.
Speaker 1: It still blows my mind to this day where I'm like, wow,
Speaker 1: you know, and so I can totally understand, and I'm
Speaker 1: wanting to lean more into because we don't have a
Speaker 1: regular date night. I mean, like we hang out when
Speaker 1: it's like oh, but making that strategic time, I think
Speaker 1: that that is an amazing idea. I actually I feel
Speaker 1: like you ha got forward to it. Yeah, it's something
Speaker 1: for you to look forward to. And I'll tell you what,
Speaker 1: because it's not all peaches and roses and rainbows every day.
Speaker 1: You know, some days you'll be looking at these jokers
Speaker 1: like you know what, Listen like, I'm really really trying
Speaker 1: my patience today. But the funny thing is we get
Speaker 1: it together for date night, like like a couple of
Speaker 1: weeks ago, I was not feeling him on a Wednesday morning.
Speaker 1: I'm not even gonna lie. I don't even remember what happened.
Speaker 1: You know, it could be anything. It doesn't even have
Speaker 1: to be major, but you're like, really, like you're just
Speaker 1: gonna keep smacking like that or whatever. It was something
Speaker 1: where I was.
Speaker 2: Like getting what was that for?
Speaker 1: Yeah, smacking not cool, But it was like I did
Speaker 1: something and he was like, would you look at me
Speaker 1: like that for? And I was like, I can look
Speaker 1: how I want to look. You know, I popped. It
Speaker 1: popped a little attitude. I didn't even know what happened.
Speaker 1: The funny thing is we still to this day don't
Speaker 1: know what really happened or how it started. But it
Speaker 1: was just one of those moments. But let me tell you.
Speaker 1: Before he left that morning to go to work and
Speaker 1: I realized it was date night and I wanted to
Speaker 1: go to that restaurant, I was like, a man, pull
Speaker 1: yourself together, go apologize so you can have a good
Speaker 1: date night. Like it really keeps us in check too,
Speaker 1: because we look forward to it. So I was like,
Speaker 1: if I did something to offend you, I apologized. He's
Speaker 1: like Ooh, you didn't even want to apologize, but thank
Speaker 1: you for trying. Yeah, but we've been together fourteen years.
Speaker 1: So these are fourteen almost fifteen years of Shenanigans, married
Speaker 1: for ten and it hasn't been easy, but it has
Speaker 1: been beautiful because it's an opportunity, like you were talking about, Tiffany,
Speaker 1: like to have someone that you can lean on that
Speaker 1: just lets you be you, you know too, and he
Speaker 1: lets me be all of me. You know. I have
Speaker 1: my Patrise Washington, and then there's Patrice Cunningham and Patrese
Speaker 1: Cunningham is from the hood and she turns up every
Speaker 1: once in a while, and he likes both of them
Speaker 1: like whoever pops out, He's like, I got it, I'm
Speaker 1: with you, like whatever. You know. He lets me be
Speaker 1: all of me. And I dated people in the past
Speaker 1: where it would be like could you not or their
Speaker 1: mom is like your dress is a little tight, and
Speaker 1: y'all know how I feel about my tight dresses. This
Speaker 1: is this is not new, this's been going off a decade.
Speaker 1: So I was like, so your mom's dressing me now,
Speaker 1: you know. But my husband is always let me be
Speaker 1: me and he's always protected me, even from family. Members
Speaker 1: who thought that they could have a say in our
Speaker 1: relationship too, or in our Mayorage urge or how we
Speaker 1: parent or what ever. He he covers that, So yeah, wow,
Speaker 1: I still like him.
Speaker 3: I feel like this has been awesome, right, Mandy, Yeah,
Speaker 3: thanks so much for coming on and definitely, I mean,
Speaker 3: this is a great teaser for your show. I feel
Speaker 3: like Redefining Wealth on iTunes. I'm I'm assuming everywhere you
Speaker 3: can listen to podcasts you can find Redefining Wealth.
Speaker 1: Yep, yep, And if you have a hard time, go
Speaker 1: to Patrice Washington dot dot com. But thank you guys
Speaker 1: so much. I always enjoy chatting with you. I love
Speaker 1: that it's not you know, you know how some places
Speaker 1: you go and it's kind of stale there. You're kind
Speaker 1: of like, just like what you get through it for
Speaker 1: getting out of a getting out of bed, You're like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how could it be stale when you're here?
Speaker 1: Exactly? Think that someone can google that you can share
Speaker 1: right now? Essentially, yes, exactly, that's a good Well what
Speaker 1: are the things that people can google that they've already googled,
Speaker 1: that they've already heard nineteen times? Yeah, So thank you
Speaker 1: guys for all Also letting me be me and allowing
Speaker 1: me to come back on and share about redefining wealth.
Speaker 1: I don't know what the next few years hold, but
Speaker 1: I am super excited to be in this space right
Speaker 1: now and doing everything that I'm doing. It feels like
Speaker 1: exactly where I'm supposed to be and exactly what I
Speaker 1: was called to do.