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Speaker 1: Hey, Hey, Hey, for those of you who are asking

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Speaker 1: for the visual. With each hey, my hands get progressively

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Speaker 1: higher and I end in jazz hands and scene. I

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Speaker 1: am super excited because we got my girl law of today.

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Speaker 1: Aside from Mandy, which is my girl, but you know

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Speaker 1: y'all are used to Mandy. We've got a guest that

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Speaker 1: you guys have loved. She was here two years ago

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Speaker 1: when we first started, and she's grasing us today. Welcome

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Speaker 1: Patrice for Washington. Hey, thank you for having me back.

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Speaker 1: And I'm doing a little jazz hands over here as well,

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Speaker 1: in your honor. Yes, I can hear it. I can

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Speaker 1: hear the jazz hands.

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Speaker 2: It's so good to have you back on the show.

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Speaker 1: I know, I can't believe it's been two years. So

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Speaker 1: congratulations to you guys.

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Speaker 2: We're in a terrible twos is your thing.

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Speaker 1: You're get terrible toos. You'll get past it.

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Speaker 3: So for those of you, first of all, at this point,

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Speaker 3: if you're listening and you want to know who Patri says,

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Speaker 3: you have to go back to one of our early

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Speaker 3: episodes when we first talked to Patrise aka America's Money Maven.

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Speaker 3: Go listen to that show, then come back because we're

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Speaker 3: about to catch up with Patrese and I want to

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Speaker 3: hear everything about where have you been these past two years?

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Speaker 3: Where are you going?

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Speaker 2: Where have you been? Where are you going?

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Speaker 3: Where's your business? Are you still on the Steve Harvey Show,

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Speaker 3: What's happening? What's happening in the Patrise universe?

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, So where have I been? It's been

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Speaker 1: about two years. And it's funny. About two years ago,

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Speaker 1: I was actually in the kitchen with my daughter. I

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Speaker 1: had just come off a book tour and I was

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Speaker 1: in the kitchen with my daughter pretending to cook because

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Speaker 1: y'all know I'm not a real cook, but I was

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Speaker 1: trying to do a little something something and my daughter

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Speaker 1: was trying to tell me this story Mandy, and she

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Speaker 1: called me my nanny's name like three times in a row. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, why does she keep calling me miss Angela?

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Speaker 1: You know? And here's the deal. Have any kids, or

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Speaker 1: ever see any kids? Met a kid. You ask a

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Speaker 1: little kid a real question, They're going to give you

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Speaker 1: a real answer. And I asked her, like, why do

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Speaker 1: you keep calling me miss Angela? And essentially she kept

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Speaker 1: it all the way real. She's like, because I talked

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Speaker 1: to her all the time, and that really hurt.

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Speaker 2: How was she like?

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Speaker 1: She was about six? You know, I'm sorry, No, she

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Speaker 1: was just she was just about to turn seven. And

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Speaker 1: it was one of those aha moments where you're like,

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Speaker 1: wait a minute. As much as I enjoy being America's

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Speaker 1: money Maven and doing my thing on the Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: Show and speaking all over the country and interview after interview,

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Speaker 1: as much as I enjoy all of that, like my

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Speaker 1: number one responsibility is to be this child's mother. You know,

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Speaker 1: guy asked to have her, she didn't ask for me,

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Speaker 1: and so it's to be her mother. And it was

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Speaker 1: a reminder that I never wanted to be a public

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Speaker 1: success and a private failure. And in that moment I

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Speaker 1: started to really strategize and think about how I could

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Speaker 1: take a few steps back. So I know, for a

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Speaker 1: lot of people, it doesn't seem like I've disappeared, because

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Speaker 1: I've been all over the place, still doing a lot,

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Speaker 1: but I've been so much more intentional and strategic about

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Speaker 1: my family time and how that really connects to this

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Speaker 1: pursuit of me being America's money Maven and living in

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Speaker 1: my purpose and doing all this work I really love.

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Speaker 1: But I was struggling. Honestly, I was losing focus at

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Speaker 1: that time and thinking that if I just kept going

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Speaker 1: and going and going, which I know a lot of

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Speaker 1: people can relate to that, you know, we're kind of

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Speaker 1: chasing that next shiny object. But in that moment, I

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Speaker 1: realized that wasn't it. So for the last two years,

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Speaker 1: I've really been pulling back a little bit. And it's

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Speaker 1: funny because you know, I talk about this all the

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Speaker 1: time and people are like, man, so you work that

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Speaker 1: hard and you just gave up all your money. Actually, no,

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Speaker 1: that's not what happened. I started to go on the

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Speaker 1: road less, but I leveraged the fewer opportunities that I

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Speaker 1: was taking and I actually made more money hallelujah, since

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Speaker 1: I haven't been doing the same amount of work.

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Speaker 2: This is the this is what you needed. This is

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Speaker 2: what you were talking about the last episode.

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Speaker 1: Me and Patritz we talk on the side.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so I'm.

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Speaker 1: Trying to hold back to tears and the church rate

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Speaker 1: so because it is exactly what I have been wanted.

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Speaker 1: Like Mandy and I, you know, we talked candidly on

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Speaker 1: the show with our listeners, and you know, I it's

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Speaker 1: just because you love it, you know, and you can't like.

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Speaker 1: But at the same time, I'm like, oh, I'm a

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Speaker 1: new wife, I'm a bonus mom, and I'm making the

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Speaker 1: transition into not always working. Has been really hard because

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Speaker 1: it's not like I dislike the work. Yeah, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to look up and you know, you know, I

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Speaker 1: my husband and my bonus baby and the baby that

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Speaker 1: I want to have. Nobody knows me, you know. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: YEA was struggling with that transition of how do I

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Speaker 1: to pull back? So listen, that's why kids conversation we're

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Speaker 1: going to have today of redefining wealth if I can

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Speaker 1: sid Yeah, awesome.

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Speaker 3: So what are some of the things you did, Patrice

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Speaker 3: to leverage so you you're scaling back in some ways,

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Speaker 3: and you said, just focusing on the opportunities that really

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Speaker 3: have value for you. I'm assuming financially, but then also

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Speaker 3: just fulfillment wise. I mean, what are some of the

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Speaker 3: you know, what are some of the steps you really

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Speaker 3: took to to to recalibrate how you were approaching your business.

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Speaker 1: Well, one of the first things I had to do

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Speaker 1: was get clarity around who I really was. Like for me,

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Speaker 1: not being on the road so much, literally gave me

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Speaker 1: time to not be so obligated to delivering other people's

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Speaker 1: sound bites, you know, because I was getting invited to

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Speaker 1: do a lot of interviews and television and radio, and

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Speaker 1: so you have to speak in these, you know, very

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Speaker 1: concise soundbites. But I was being requested for the same

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Speaker 1: topics right over and over and over again. And so

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Speaker 1: when I had some time to sit back, I was like,

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Speaker 1: this isn't even you anymore now, Like that doesn't even

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Speaker 1: make you happy. You are not pumped up and super

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Speaker 1: jazzed about talking about budgets anymore, or talking about credit

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Speaker 1: reports or talk like that just doesn't make you happy anymore.

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Speaker 1: And so that was one of the first ways I

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Speaker 1: started to evaluate what I would do and what I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't was by getting really clear about what did fulfill me,

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Speaker 1: what piece of this whole, because there's so much. We

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Speaker 1: all have our part, right, like we all I met

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Speaker 1: you guys at a personal finance you know conference at

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Speaker 1: fin Con and stuff, and we all offer our own

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Speaker 1: little secret sauce to this whole you know, environment of

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Speaker 1: personal finance. And I was like, there are people out

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Speaker 1: there who will cover that what feels right for you,

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Speaker 1: like what really speaks to your heart, speaks to your soul,

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Speaker 1: speaks to your journey. And once I got really clear

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Speaker 1: on that, it became easier to just cross things off

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Speaker 1: the list. Because we would talk to people, you know,

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Speaker 1: when people would pitch me on coming to things or

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Speaker 1: being a part of things, we would say, okay, well,

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Speaker 1: Patrice would like to steer the conversation this way is

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Speaker 1: are you okay with that? And some people will be like, no,

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Speaker 1: we need your one, two, three bullet points on this

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Speaker 1: very specific topic. And I'm like, nah, it's okay. Like

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna leave my kid to go be disgruntled

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Speaker 1: somewhere for what I could be disgruntled at the PTA meeting,

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Speaker 1: Like no, I'm okay, you know, I don't. I don't

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Speaker 1: have to leave my house to go and do that.

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Speaker 1: I'm not. You know, that's what we work for, Tiffany, right,

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Speaker 1: Like you work to build something that gives you freedom,

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Speaker 1: but we turn around and become a slave to it, yes,

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Speaker 1: or a preacher to the choir, yeah, you know. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, man, I'm a slave to these sound bites.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to live like this. I truly want

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Speaker 1: to talk about what God puts on my heart. And

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Speaker 1: so the first thing was like really getting clarity around

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Speaker 1: what that was because I knew it was something, but

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna keep it real. Like at first

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Speaker 1: I couldn't tell what it was. That was just kind

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Speaker 1: of vexing my spirit. You haven't just been like like

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Speaker 1: an uneasiness and you know that like you gotta shift,

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Speaker 1: but you don't know to where or to what or how.

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Speaker 1: You just feel something is like not right. So that's

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Speaker 1: what it was. So taking a step back agatting clarity

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Speaker 1: was a really really big one, and then putting people

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Speaker 1: in place around me, on my team to help hold

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Speaker 1: me accountable to that, because that's the other thing. You know,

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Speaker 1: we become a slave to it. And it's like people

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Speaker 1: dangle dollars in front of you, like, I mean, I could,

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Speaker 1: I guess I could come back one day, you know,

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Speaker 1: if I make it a quick trip. If I do this,

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Speaker 1: you know, if you try to rationalize or as I

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Speaker 1: like to say, rational out lies to yourself. So I

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Speaker 1: would try to rationalize, and so I hired one of

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Speaker 1: my good friends to support me, and I got some

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Speaker 1: really great team members in place who helped me set

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Speaker 1: up systems so that I wouldn't even hear about some

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Speaker 1: of the opportunities that were just not a fit. Like

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Speaker 1: they would go through the process, take in the form,

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Speaker 1: make the call, talk to people you know, do their research,

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Speaker 1: and then if they determined based on what we talked

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Speaker 1: about being a fit versus a non fit, if they

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Speaker 1: determined that it wasn't a fit, no one would ever

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Speaker 1: tell me. And that was the best because it didn't

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Speaker 1: even bog me down, you know, like I wouldn't even

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Speaker 1: think about things because again I would try to justify

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Speaker 1: things like, oh, I remember they hired me to do

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Speaker 1: such and such back in two thousand tens, Like I

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Speaker 1: would be doing all these little justifications. And once the

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Speaker 1: team got in place and we put systems and kind

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Speaker 1: of rules in place, man that freedom so much it

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Speaker 1: was awesome. And then I wasn't everywhere, so I could

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Speaker 1: leverage that and charge charge more.

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Speaker 3: Essentially, Yeah, both of you guys have, like I mean,

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Speaker 3: a big part of your business is speaking engagements, right,

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Speaker 3: I mean, that's a lucrative part of your business. I

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Speaker 3: don't know what portion of it is. I'm not really asking,

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Speaker 3: but I feel like that is how can you turn

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Speaker 3: down those big juicy opportunities. I mean, and part of

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Speaker 3: like the entrepreneurial reality is like, you know, you have

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Speaker 3: an opportunity in front of you, and that idea of

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Speaker 3: that scarcity mindset, like oh my, if I turn this down,

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Speaker 3: will there be another one? Will there be another one?

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Speaker 2: How have you dealt with that?

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Speaker 1: Really? I totally can identify with that. I went through

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Speaker 1: the fear, you know, I went through fomo fear of

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Speaker 1: missing out. Oh my gosh, what's gonna happen? Look at

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Speaker 1: all the people that are gonna be there. Maybe I

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Speaker 1: should be there, Maybe it should be networking. But one

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Speaker 1: of the things when I knew about different things we

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Speaker 1: were turning down, I've been really intentional about taking those

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Speaker 1: same days or weekends and deliberately spending time with my

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Speaker 1: family or doing something that really made me feel like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I didn't miss anything because this is

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Speaker 1: where it was at, Like this, putting makeup on with

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Speaker 1: my daughter, letting her tell me I want mommy, I

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Speaker 1: want you to beat my face. Oh no. And we

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Speaker 1: had a little music makeup in mimosas with Apple cider,

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Speaker 1: of course, but us having that moment and just spending

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Speaker 1: that type of time. Honestly, it fulfilled me in such

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Speaker 1: a way, like it makes me so happy that it

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Speaker 1: also provided like the peace of mind and clarity to

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Speaker 1: go create what did fit? You know, So a lot

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Speaker 1: of things have happened over these last couple of years,

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Speaker 1: Like this past year, I launched a whole new website

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Speaker 1: at Patreseashington dot com, and I really put time into

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Speaker 1: thinking about what are the things that have truly helped

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Speaker 1: me rebuild. So when you guys go back and listen

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Speaker 1: to my first episode, I'm sure you'll hear my story

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Speaker 1: about going from you know, a seven figure business I

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Speaker 1: built out of college, to losing it all in the recession,

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Speaker 1: scraping up change, living on my brother's couch in two

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Speaker 1: thousand and nine to rebuilding everything and becoming America's money Maven.

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Speaker 1: And one of the things I got clear on during

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Speaker 1: that time is that I really felt like I was

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Speaker 1: starting to do people a disservice by not telling them

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Speaker 1: my full story. You know, It's like, how do you

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Speaker 1: end up? How do you go from your brother's couch

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Speaker 1: to now you're sitting on this couch across from Steve

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Speaker 1: Harvey on his talk show every month, like little something

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Speaker 1: happened in between you think like maybe maybe there's some

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Speaker 1: things that we could talk about. And because I only

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Speaker 1: ever had time to talk in sound bites, right, Like,

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Speaker 1: I never could really get into it the way that

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Speaker 1: I wanted to. And so over the last year and

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Speaker 1: a half it was really like just heavy on me,

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Speaker 1: Like you need to create something so you can tell

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Speaker 1: your own story, so that you can share the things

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Speaker 1: that you've done that have helped you. Like, of what

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Speaker 1: other place would I be able to talk about you know, music,

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Speaker 1: makeup and mimosas with my daughter, slash apple cider with

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Speaker 1: my daughter, Like where else could I really talk about that?

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Speaker 1: Not on the Steve Harvey Show. I mean, shout out

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Speaker 1: to see I love them, but not there. They don't

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Speaker 1: want to hear that I'm the money Maven. So I

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Speaker 1: got to only talk about money and that's it. But

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Speaker 1: I really believe and have believed for a long time,

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Speaker 1: as I'm sure I said in that interview before that

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Speaker 1: building wealth has one hundred percent nothing to do with money.

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Speaker 1: It has one hundred percent everything to do with us

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Speaker 1: in our mindsets towards money. And I believe that your

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Speaker 1: mindset really dictates what your habits are and there were

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Speaker 1: some really you know, deliberate and specific habits that I've

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Speaker 1: developed over the last several years. But I wasn't comfortable

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Speaker 1: getting out of that box at first, Like I said that,

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Speaker 1: fear of like, oh, this is what they brought me

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Speaker 1: here to do. I wasn't comfortable getting out of the box.

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Speaker 1: And so like the last year and a half, I've

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Speaker 1: been like, that's it. I'm out the box. Like I

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Speaker 1: got to get out the box by any means necessary.

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Speaker 1: And that's where, like my whole tagline chase purpose not money.

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Speaker 1: I don't only say that to encourage other people. That's

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Speaker 1: a reminder to myself, like every day that I got

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Speaker 1: to do things that fit who I am now, not

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Speaker 1: who the money maybe it was in twenty ten. No,

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Speaker 1: I love that. So what would you say, because I

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Speaker 1: know you have your podcast and the uh is it

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Speaker 1: called Redefining Wealth? Yeah, it's called the Redefining Wealth Podcast. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So if if you were to define wealth personally for yourself,

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Speaker 1: so you know, many people would be like wealth is

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Speaker 1: having you know, a million dollars in the bank or whatever.

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Speaker 1: What is your personal definition of wealth for you? My

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Speaker 1: personal definition of wealth is the freedom to do what

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Speaker 1: I want, when I want, with people I want to

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Speaker 1: do it with. It's literally just freedom. And that was

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Speaker 1: the thing Tiff, like, I looked up long ago. But

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Speaker 1: it's funny, like I looked it up a long time ago.

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Speaker 1: I would say, maybe like two thousand and eight or nine.

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Speaker 1: This is around the time that I had lost everything

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Speaker 1: and I looked up for some reason. I was probably

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Speaker 1: blogging around in an article. But the definition of wealth,

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Speaker 1: and so when you look at it, the first few

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Speaker 1: definitions are all about material possessions and money and assets,

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Speaker 1: and it's all the stuff that we think of. And

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Speaker 1: if if you're a millennial who's connected on social media,

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Speaker 1: you think wealth is yachts and true and like luxury

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Speaker 1: travel and cars or shoes or whatever you think it is.

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Speaker 1: But when you dig really deep the if you look

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Speaker 1: at most online dictionaries, for sure, you'll see like seventh

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Speaker 1: eighth definition all the way down. It says on a

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Speaker 1: lot of them, the twelfth century definition of wealth means

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Speaker 1: well being, like the true like weao, wealth is well

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Speaker 1: being and thh the condition. So back in the day,

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Speaker 1: way back in the day, people considered wealth more like happiness.

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Speaker 1: And it's so funny how we have totally gone, you know,

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Speaker 1: to the extreme. On the other side of wealth is

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Speaker 1: just stuff. But I think we all know for ourselves

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Speaker 1: or no people who will tell us for sure that

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Speaker 1: stuff doesn't make you happy. Yeah, so those are not though,

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Speaker 1: like those are not usually exclusive, you know, like that

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Speaker 1: does not have to work hand in hand. And when

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Speaker 1: I really thought about during this kind of mini sabbatical

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Speaker 1: I've had, when I really thought about it and thought

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Speaker 1: about my life from two thousand and seven, when the

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Speaker 1: recession began for me and I started to kind of

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Speaker 1: spiral down. By two thousand and nine, I was on

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Speaker 1: that couch and when I thought about that, the things

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Speaker 1: that I was doing every day, it really had to

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Speaker 1: do with all these other areas of my life. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I was focused on my finances, but there's only so

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Speaker 1: much you can do every day on your finances, Like

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Speaker 1: there's twenty four hours in the day. Like you can't

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Speaker 1: sit and look at your budget all day, or you

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Speaker 1: can't like run your credit over and over again, or

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Speaker 1: didn't watch your stocks or whatever like all day. There's

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Speaker 1: other habits that you got to have in place. And

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Speaker 1: I just picked up some through research, some through coaching,

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Speaker 1: some through mentorship and some through that just happened intuitively,

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Speaker 1: because you know, like I said, I was pretty successful

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Speaker 1: before all the recession and all that. I just started

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Speaker 1: looking at the different areas of my life that I

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Speaker 1: really felt like had contributed to my wealth, contributed to

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Speaker 1: me being where I am today, And money was definitely one,

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Speaker 1: my work was one, but there were other areas that

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Speaker 1: I feel like just as much contributed. And that's what

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Speaker 1: I wanted to share with other people, Like, maybe if

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Speaker 1: you feel like you've been stuck and you've been trying

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Speaker 1: to do all the right things with your money and

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Speaker 1: you're still not getting ahead, maybe you gotta consider looking

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Speaker 1: at some other areas of your life to help you

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Speaker 1: get unstuck and get you closer to what you say

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Speaker 1: you want.

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Speaker 3: M What do you think it is that holds people back?

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Speaker 3: Like we get, you know, we get questions about that.

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Speaker 3: I actually just listened to a whole podcast about the

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Speaker 3: idea of being stuck. Like someone who's stuck and maybe

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Speaker 3: doesn't have the resources or doesn't think they have the

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Speaker 3: resources to get out of a certain situation or to

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Speaker 3: leave the job they're unhappy with. I mean, would you

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Speaker 3: say to people in those situations, you weren't starting from

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Speaker 3: a place where they are their own boss, you know,

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Speaker 3: like some entrepreneurs are.

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Speaker 1: Well. One of the things that helped me get unstuck

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Speaker 1: during that period, in particular when I did lose everything,

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Speaker 1: because you know, I like, like I said, I went

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Speaker 1: from a seven figure business to scraping of change, you know,

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Speaker 1: so that comes with all of the fear of you know,

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Speaker 1: people finding out, the guilt, the embarrassment, the shame, the

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Speaker 1: how did I do this? Like what is wrong with me?

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Speaker 1: And so for a period there, it was a short period,

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Speaker 1: but it was a period nonetheless where I just felt

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Speaker 1: like a failure and it was like you've lost it.

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Speaker 1: And I mean I was like twenty six years old,

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Speaker 1: and it felt like your life is over, You're done,

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Speaker 1: like you're a rap, you know. And in redefining well,

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Speaker 1: one of the first pillars is called fit, and fit

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Speaker 1: is about becoming your best self. And so a lot

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Speaker 1: of people tend to further their brows sometimes when they

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Speaker 1: hear me talk about fit because they think I'm automatically

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Speaker 1: talking about physical fitness, which is one component. But the

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Speaker 1: other thing I had to get really clear on was

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Speaker 1: my mental fitness and when you have been through different

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Speaker 1: things or failures or stepbacks, and you have been so

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Speaker 1: beat up by life, you know, your mind can go

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Speaker 1: to some dark places. Not sure if anyone's ever been there,

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Speaker 1: you know, you guys, but your mind can go to

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Speaker 1: some dark places. And one of the things that I

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Speaker 1: really needed to work through was just giving myself permission

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Speaker 1: mentally first and foremost to accept that I was in

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Speaker 1: a bad spot, like I had lost all my money,

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Speaker 1: but my mind was not bad, you know, like this

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Speaker 1: was literally an event, this is not you. And to

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Speaker 1: get unstuck. Some things that I did do was use

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Speaker 1: like community resources for therapy when I lived in Atlanta,

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Speaker 1: because I needed to talk to somebody, like my family

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Speaker 1: wasn't getting it. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna lie,

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Speaker 1: and I'm a big believer and a spiritual person and stuff,

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Speaker 1: but folks telling me to pray about it wasn't helping either,

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Speaker 1: Like it just wasn't getting me over the hump. I

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Speaker 1: would pray about it, feel like Okay, I left it

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Speaker 1: on the altar or whatever, and then like a couple

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Speaker 1: hours later, I'd be like, you know, like what happened

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Speaker 1: to my life? How did I get here, especially when

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Speaker 1: I was coming home the notices on the door and

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Speaker 1: all kind of stuff like, So going to therapy really

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Speaker 1: helped me separate who I was from what had happened, okay,

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Speaker 1: and not make those all one thing. And once I

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Speaker 1: was able to take like a step back or even

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Speaker 1: like a bird's eye view and kind of hover over

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Speaker 1: this is the situation that's going on, like look down

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Speaker 1: on that and try to, you know, move the pieces

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Speaker 1: around best you can. But when you're in it, you

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Speaker 1: can't see it. Like when I was in it, I

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Speaker 1: had done everything that I could do, so I really

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Speaker 1: felt like I had no other alternatives, Like I was

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Speaker 1: exhausted and just sick and tired of being sick and

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Speaker 1: tired at that time. And so one of the things

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Speaker 1: I always share with people is if you really feel stuck,

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Speaker 1: faith is one way to kind of help you move

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Speaker 1: on or get out of that. But becoming mentally fit

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Speaker 1: and talking to someone, talking to a professional, like I

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Speaker 1: tell people, what if your success is on the other

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Speaker 1: side of you, like sitting on somebody's couch and just saying, like,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I don't know what, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: but I know this isn't right and I need something,

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Speaker 1: and so therapy was a big, big help for me,

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Speaker 1: still is to this day. So I met with my

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Speaker 1: accountant today. I was finally paying my quarter three taxes

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Speaker 1: of all late but whatever, they're paid. And I was

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Speaker 1: asking him because sometimes you know, there's so many numbers, numbers, numbers,

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Speaker 1: and I said, okay, so you know how much did

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Speaker 1: I make for the year? And he was sharing and

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Speaker 1: I was like, okay, how come I'm that? And I

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Speaker 1: told him. I was like, how come and I'm I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'm frugal by nature just because I just I guess

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Speaker 1: I grew up frugal. But I was like, dang, you

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Speaker 1: know this is like what you know, I'm sure you

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Speaker 1: know doctor's make right, like like all paid doctor And

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Speaker 1: he was like yeah, if not more. I said, well,

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Speaker 1: how come I'm not living in one of those big houses.

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Speaker 1: I mean I did just buy a house, but those

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Speaker 1: big houses on the hill. And he was like, can

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Speaker 1: I let you in on a little secret because he

431
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 1: does a lot of taxes. He was like, many of

432
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 1: those doctors that live on the hill are broke. Yeah,

433
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,640
Speaker 1: they can't afford it. Yeah, so why do you think

434
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 1: we do that? So what pillar kind of addresses that

435
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:36,520
Speaker 1: that of your redefining wealth. Why is it that someone

436
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:40,359
Speaker 1: who's making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year puts

437
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,439
Speaker 1: themselves in a position that to not be able to

438
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:47,760
Speaker 1: really afford their life? Why do we do that? You

439
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 1: know what, It's funny you ask which pillar because it's

440
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 1: really all of them. Like my big thing with reader

441
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:57,439
Speaker 1: defining wealth, a part of my big thing one is

442
00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 1: living your life's purpose, but the other is finding fulfillment.

443
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 1: And a lot of people make those decisions because they're

444
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:07,159
Speaker 1: trying to fill a void. Right, So if you are

445
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:10,080
Speaker 1: trying to fill the void of maybe some relationships that

446
00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:14,160
Speaker 1: didn't work out, but it could be with parents or family, friends, whatever,

447
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 1: and you're on this constant chase to prove yourself, then

448
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:19,920
Speaker 1: you make those types of decisions. You don't know that

449
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,080
Speaker 1: that's why you're doing it. You're not aware of it

450
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,880
Speaker 1: until you go go back and maybe do some work

451
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,760
Speaker 1: and look at that first pillar with the mental fitness piece.

452
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,880
Speaker 1: But a lot of people just they aren't even aware

453
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 1: that they're doing it. Like that's why I talked about

454
00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 1: rationalizing and rationing out lies, Like we tell ourselves so

455
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,200
Speaker 1: many lies and we don't consider them to be lies.

456
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,400
Speaker 1: But we create these stories in our mind and then

457
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,800
Speaker 1: we justify them, and we can justify them to the

458
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:48,680
Speaker 1: cows come home. But at the end of the day,

459
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,440
Speaker 1: like right as right as mc granny used to saying,

460
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 1: wrong is wrong. If there's wrong, it's wrong, and if

461
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:56,600
Speaker 1: your accountant tells you it's wrong, it's probably definitely wrong.

462
00:23:57,080 --> 00:24:00,399
Speaker 1: But all of these areas for me, these pills, like

463
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,879
Speaker 1: I really believe when people are just because you're a doctor,

464
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,840
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean you love it. Just because you're a lawyer,

465
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:07,680
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean you love it. As a matter of fact,

466
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 1: most of my friends who are lawyers kind of hate

467
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:12,639
Speaker 1: it in some former fashion. They're always complaining about it,

468
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,920
Speaker 1: even though they make great money. And so the workpiece,

469
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 1: which is about living out your life's purpose, I speak

470
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,120
Speaker 1: to the fact that there are a lot of us

471
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 1: who made career choices in particular because we were advised to.

472
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:32,560
Speaker 1: Because I know, tif you're Nigerian and I'm Bellegian. You know,

473
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:36,199
Speaker 1: they can be very persuasive parents who's trying to you know,

474
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:39,719
Speaker 1: you got about three or four options to work from.

475
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 1: You know, I didn't go down that path. So my

476
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 1: dad was very disappointed that I wasn't an attorney, a doctor,

477
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:51,320
Speaker 1: a pharmacist or whatever. Those are the big three, you know,

478
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,400
Speaker 1: so when you are not, I really believe that when

479
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:57,320
Speaker 1: people are not living in their purpose, it is really

480
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,880
Speaker 1: easy for them to not be able to say priorities

481
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:05,840
Speaker 1: because you're trying to fill the void. So if what

482
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:09,040
Speaker 1: you're doing day in and day out does not really

483
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,800
Speaker 1: just fill you with joy, you know, and just true

484
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,199
Speaker 1: make you feel like, man, this is what I'm here for,

485
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 1: this is what I was called to do, then you

486
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,199
Speaker 1: do stuff like, well, at least I got to have

487
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,639
Speaker 1: a house that I love that shows that like I

488
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 1: made it, you know, or at least I have to

489
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:28,119
Speaker 1: drive nice, or at least I have to wear the

490
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 1: best clothes. So we start to rationalize, and it happens

491
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 1: every day, and many of us do it in different ways.

492
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 1: Just some of us do it to our own detriment.

493
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:38,919
Speaker 1: I think everyone has a little something in them, but

494
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,760
Speaker 1: some of us just go way too far. But I

495
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:45,200
Speaker 1: don't believe you can recondition what you haven't recognize, and

496
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 1: that's where we have to start, is like doing the

497
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 1: work to recognize what are those things that kind of

498
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:49,680
Speaker 1: set us off.

499
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,560
Speaker 3: I feel like it's almost the curse of the word supposed,

500
00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:56,399
Speaker 3: Like I'm supposed to fill in the blank. I'm supposed

501
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:57,920
Speaker 3: to have a house, I'm supposed to have a kid,

502
00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:59,800
Speaker 3: I'm supposed to have the car I'm supposed to. But

503
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,240
Speaker 3: sometimes I want to shake people and be like, who

504
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:05,200
Speaker 3: told you you're supposed to? And I think, yeah, part

505
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 3: of it is like you internalize. I think you grow

506
00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:10,040
Speaker 3: up like you don't realize it as you're older, but

507
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:13,040
Speaker 3: you maybe internalize the ambitions of your parents or like

508
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:16,679
Speaker 3: what they think is is right. And of course social

509
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:19,439
Speaker 3: media you can you can obviously cee. You can just

510
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:22,399
Speaker 3: see everyone living their life and immediately compare yourself to it,

511
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:25,399
Speaker 3: and it'll feel like you're supposed to be doing you know,

512
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:29,359
Speaker 3: dot dot dot and I and I. I find myself

513
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:34,160
Speaker 3: now in my thirties, really pushing against that, the notions

514
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:36,639
Speaker 3: that that seem like I'm supposed to be doing this

515
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:38,240
Speaker 3: and wondering like why am I supposed to?

516
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 2: Why am I supposed to be buying a house right now?

517
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,840
Speaker 2: Right just because I have money.

518
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:45,359
Speaker 1: I've got with some girlfriends just this past weekend and

519
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:47,399
Speaker 1: we were doing the cousin is supposed to. It was

520
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:48,959
Speaker 1: the should you should?

521
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:49,360
Speaker 2: Yeah.

522
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 1: It's like we were all like you know what every time,

523
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 1: and that especially with taking on events or going to

524
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:01,280
Speaker 1: speaking engagements, so those types of things that every time

525
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:03,320
Speaker 1: I get asked to do something, and it's not like

526
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 1: a hell yeah, if it's remotely well, I guess I should,

527
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:11,200
Speaker 1: I stop myself, like and that has been a very

528
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:14,119
Speaker 1: conscious choice. But I realized that I was very into

529
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess I should do it because and

530
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 1: then searching for the dot dot dot like, oh it

531
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,439
Speaker 1: might be great networking, Oh so and so is going

532
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 1: to be there, Oh well maybe I can, and don't

533
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:28,400
Speaker 1: you know, like most of the time that stuff never

534
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:31,880
Speaker 1: pans out like very rarely. It's like, really the things

535
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,200
Speaker 1: that I go to where I have no expectation is

536
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:37,880
Speaker 1: where all like the juicy great stuff happens. Like the

537
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:40,560
Speaker 1: person I meet in the bathroom, you know, sitting on

538
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 1: the random couch in the ladies room, or the person

539
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:48,720
Speaker 1: I meet broom sick about the person I meet about

540
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 1: and like I meet in the hallway, or it's some

541
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,439
Speaker 1: random occurrence that I that I really couldn't have planned

542
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:58,520
Speaker 1: for any way. But the should are not always what

543
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:02,199
Speaker 1: even pans out to be any thing worthy. You know,

544
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:05,679
Speaker 1: I'm like, every time I say I should if that

545
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 1: even comes up, then I have to examine that before

546
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 1: I move forward. Yeah, oh my goodness. I'm just like,

547
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:16,440
Speaker 1: it's scary though to and I and I've been through

548
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 1: so many transitions where and typically as soon as you transition,

549
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,840
Speaker 1: you drop right And that drop is what people are

550
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 1: afraid of. So you know, when I transition from I

551
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 1: don't want to do one on ones anymore, all of

552
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 1: a sudden, I took a drop in income for the

553
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:32,600
Speaker 1: first few months, and I was like, oh, why did

554
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:35,119
Speaker 1: I do this? And then rebounded when I was like,

555
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 1: you know what, I like doing these in person classes.

556
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:38,640
Speaker 1: And then when I said I don't want to do

557
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:41,360
Speaker 1: in person classes anymore, the drop happened. And I know

558
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 1: that I'm ready to transition. And even though I'm like, Tippy,

559
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 1: You're gonna be fine, it is scary to say, but

560
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 1: but that drop. Am I gonna be okay? Am I

561
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 1: gonna Is this the time that I'm not gonna recover

562
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 1: from that drop? I think that's what people are afraid

563
00:28:57,760 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 1: of most. Like, I know that I want to take

564
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:02,959
Speaker 1: a that back, and I don't even know what that

565
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,080
Speaker 1: looks like in some way, in so many ways I have,

566
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 1: and then I filled it with other things. I'm like, oh,

567
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 1: you know what, I want to do these things. I'm

568
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 1: so busy today. Honestly though, I had a terrible day

569
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:19,840
Speaker 1: and I was like and normally like I'm really up

570
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 1: upbeat and have to go lucky, and I don't notice

571
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:24,720
Speaker 1: how much I have going on. But when you have

572
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:26,960
Speaker 1: a terrible day, you start to realize. And I was like, Oh,

573
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:31,080
Speaker 1: throw everything away, everybody, nobody, I'm going back to teaching

574
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 1: preschool where the babies. I felt like that. Not too

575
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:36,720
Speaker 1: long ago. I posted that in one of the groups

576
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:38,720
Speaker 1: that were in. I was like, have you ever just

577
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 1: been like, forget it. I'm gonna start from scratch. I

578
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:45,000
Speaker 1: want a whole new name. I might need another husband,

579
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,480
Speaker 1: a different husband who could give me a different last name.

580
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 1: I'm throwing everything out, Like I think that that is

581
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 1: such a natural part of entrepreneurship. Like if you don't

582
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:58,720
Speaker 1: want to stop everything that you're doing at least once

583
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 1: or twice a year, don't know, like I don't know

584
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:04,320
Speaker 1: what you're doing, because that's I think that you have.

585
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 1: First of all, you have to have that level of crazy,

586
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 1: I think, but that's the thing that makes you just

587
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,960
Speaker 1: like also keep pushing in an odd way, because like

588
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,240
Speaker 1: I'll have a day like that, and then the next

589
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:18,680
Speaker 1: day I'm like, oh on devil, you know, I feel

590
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 1: like this come back, like there's resurgence of power, like

591
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 1: absolutely not that will not happen to me today. And

592
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 1: then I get like ninety seven things done in one

593
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 1: day that totally made up for the three that I've

594
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:34,040
Speaker 1: fumbled on the day before. So you know, I don't know,

595
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:35,600
Speaker 1: but I totally get you.

596
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:40,600
Speaker 2: What are some ways let's talk about the business.

597
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 3: I like to talk about the money the money hunter,

598
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:44,640
Speaker 3: but like with your businesses, I mean you're both in

599
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:49,280
Speaker 3: sort of uh similar businesses, I guess, But what are

600
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:51,800
Speaker 3: can you talk about, like real talk about the different

601
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 3: income streams that you have from your business and how

602
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 3: you sort of diversify that. I know that's a big

603
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:59,000
Speaker 3: component of like being an entrepreneur today is not just

604
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 3: having one like all your income coming from one source.

605
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:04,680
Speaker 3: The same way you don't want to like put all

606
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 3: of your money in one savings account forever. You want

607
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:08,960
Speaker 3: to diversify.

608
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, So there's a couple different things although I'm like,

609
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 1: I'm in transition mode, right. So I used to have

610
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 1: all the these products and smaller programs and I would

611
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:23,120
Speaker 1: offer them to churches and nonprofits and they would really

612
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 1: pay me. So a lot of what I do I

613
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 1: don't necessarily charge like an individual. I've always been kind

614
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:35,719
Speaker 1: of more inclined to really just I mean, similar to Tiffany.

615
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:39,600
Speaker 1: I would say, like, nurture, nurture people, nurture the audience,

616
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:43,360
Speaker 1: but then charge the brands, right or charge whoever that

617
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:46,840
Speaker 1: would bring me out. So speaking is a big component

618
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:50,400
Speaker 1: of my income. Also, being a spokesperson or a brand ambassador,

619
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,920
Speaker 1: over the last few years has become a great portion

620
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 1: of income. And I actually look forward to doing those

621
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 1: because I could work with fewer brands that I really like,

622
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 1: but I just charge you more and so I don't

623
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 1: have to do a million smaller things, which goes back

624
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 1: to the whole the family piece I was talking about

625
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 1: in the beginning. And then some of those partners they

626
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:18,840
Speaker 1: pay for my radio segment. I still am on the

627
00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:22,360
Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show. I still have a weekly segment

628
00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:27,080
Speaker 1: about two to three million listeners fifty four cities, and

629
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 1: I've been on there now every week for about three

630
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:33,680
Speaker 1: and a half years. So there's some back end stuff

631
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 1: that I get through my partnership with iHeartRadio, which is

632
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 1: actually who helped me launch the podcast. They really wanted

633
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:44,320
Speaker 1: to deepen the car, help me deepen the conversation, but

634
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 1: also use that as a tool to promote to their sponsors.

635
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 1: And the thing I think I'm getting most excited about

636
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:53,720
Speaker 1: I haven't done it in a long time though. It

637
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 1: is like group coaching, like like you know, like you said, Tiffany,

638
00:32:57,400 --> 00:32:59,360
Speaker 1: you go in and out. So I'm in that dip

639
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 1: right now because I totally shut off my one on

640
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:06,280
Speaker 1: one coaching because it just didn't fit anymore. Like I was, like,

641
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:09,240
Speaker 1: I mean I could, I should, but I don't want to.

642
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:14,600
Speaker 1: Like I really want to walk women, especially high achieving women,

643
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 1: through what these pillars really mean, you know, for redefining wealth,

644
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 1: like the areas that we can really work in on

645
00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 1: our lives, especially if we know that we have a

646
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:28,320
Speaker 1: full life, but something deep down inside is still unfulfilled.

647
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,960
Speaker 1: Because I think if there is that unfulfillment, eventually, it's

648
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 1: going to lead to financial mismanagement in some form or fashion.

649
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,040
Speaker 1: So I feel like my path to helping people get

650
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:40,960
Speaker 1: to their wealth is making sure that there's well being

651
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 1: in all the other areas of their lives, and then

652
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 1: we can talk about how to manage you know, the

653
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:49,280
Speaker 1: money that you do have wisely. But I feel like

654
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:51,920
Speaker 1: if we don't address some of these other air areas,

655
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 1: you'll always be a hot mess.

656
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,840
Speaker 3: So yeah, don't you feel like sometimes people focus on

657
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 3: like the bottom line, like they're like, Okay, as soon

658
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 3: as I finish law school, then I'll have a social life,

659
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 3: as soon as as soon as I get that promotion,

660
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:05,520
Speaker 3: then I'll focus on you know that that mole that

661
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 3: I have on my left shoulders, you know, maybe not

662
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:08,719
Speaker 3: that serious too.

663
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 1: That is no way to live. That is no way

664
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 1: to live. And that's what like I did this group

665
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:18,759
Speaker 1: coaching with Steve Harvey's group Act Like a Success. That's

666
00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 1: kind of where I piloted this, and the results have

667
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 1: been so phenomenal, so moving. But one of the things

668
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:27,839
Speaker 1: that hit me recently was one of the participants sent

669
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 1: me a message and said, you know, in the fit

670
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:34,240
Speaker 1: in the fifth pillar, the first pillar I basically shared

671
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 1: with the ladies. I said, you know what, if you

672
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:41,760
Speaker 1: have a vision for your life, you have a duty

673
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:44,840
Speaker 1: and a responsibility to protect the vessel that's needed to

674
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:48,279
Speaker 1: execute the vision, Like we cannot go and go and

675
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:51,840
Speaker 1: go and hustle and grind and then neglect the only

676
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 1: body we have, right like that, you only get one,

677
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:58,759
Speaker 1: Like you can't neglect this body, put garbage in it

678
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:02,240
Speaker 1: and expect to get like great results out Like you can't.

679
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:04,319
Speaker 1: And one of the things that I said is in

680
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 1: the next seven days, for any of you who are

681
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:12,960
Speaker 1: ignoring any slight pain, any discomfort, anything that you've questioned

682
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:16,880
Speaker 1: and it's been going on for weeks or months or

683
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 1: years and you've been putting it off, I want you

684
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,719
Speaker 1: to figure out who the specialist, who the doctor is

685
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 1: you need to go to and make an appointment within

686
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:26,400
Speaker 1: the next seven days, Right, I think about sixty or

687
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:29,120
Speaker 1: seventy percent of the people actually did it. And one

688
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:33,719
Speaker 1: woman ended up sending me a message and sharing that

689
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 1: she found a lump on her breast and that they

690
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:42,279
Speaker 1: were catching it just in time. Wow, And that was

691
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:46,160
Speaker 1: like I'm sitting here reading this freaking direct message and

692
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 1: I'm like wow, Like, so what good would it be

693
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:51,960
Speaker 1: for you to be And she had a great job

694
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:53,759
Speaker 1: all this stuff, but what good is it for you?

695
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 1: To make one hundred and fifty two hundred thousand dollars

696
00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:59,279
Speaker 1: a year and you ain't even here and in the

697
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 1: next day because you haven't taken care of yourself, Like

698
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:05,680
Speaker 1: what good is that? You know? I always think of

699
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:10,080
Speaker 1: like Steve Jobs, like this man who shifted, like no

700
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 1: one's life is the same and he got here. No

701
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:16,799
Speaker 1: matter how much money that this billionaire man had, he

702
00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:20,000
Speaker 1: is not here. And I always think that that, like,

703
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 1: you can't wealth your way to health necessarily. You know,

704
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:26,200
Speaker 1: of course there are some things, like you know, there's

705
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:29,160
Speaker 1: medicine and doctors, but ultimately, if you don't take the

706
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:30,600
Speaker 1: time to take care of yourself. And I have to

707
00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:32,520
Speaker 1: say that I'm not here to judge whether he did

708
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 1: or did it, but it just just goes to show

709
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:38,560
Speaker 1: that there's just there's no substitute for health, no amount

710
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:43,880
Speaker 1: of money that can guarantee you know, your life here. Wow,

711
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 1: that's just really And that's why I say that pillar

712
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:49,799
Speaker 1: is not about being skinny. So when people seem fit,

713
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:52,000
Speaker 1: you know, they're like, oh, you want me to just

714
00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:53,960
Speaker 1: go to the gym. You're talking about being skinny, that's

715
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 1: easy for you. First of all, I have been thin

716
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:59,360
Speaker 1: relatively my entire life. I've also had high blood pressure.

717
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 1: I've also had issues with like acidic acid and my stomach,

718
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:07,840
Speaker 1: and like a gap in my esasagus that was causing

719
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 1: all kind of issues and all kinds of stuff like

720
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:15,800
Speaker 1: being thin doesn't matter, That doesn't make you healthy. And

721
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, even if I say

722
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:19,600
Speaker 1: that what I'm doing is to leave a legacy for

723
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:21,840
Speaker 1: my daughter, wouldn't it be nicer for me to just

724
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:24,399
Speaker 1: live a little longer so I could also be here

725
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 1: for her. Yeah, I'm not working to make money to

726
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 1: just make sure she goes to school death free, like

727
00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:32,600
Speaker 1: I'd like to be at the graduation. That'd be nice.

728
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:34,839
Speaker 1: And so that those are some of the things over

729
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:38,320
Speaker 1: these several years where I started to take more control

730
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 1: of my health. I stopped with all that, Oh, i'm

731
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:43,880
Speaker 1: young girl. By I mean i'm young, I ain't old old,

732
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:49,759
Speaker 1: but I'm not twenty. Don't it get really get thirty? Though?

733
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:52,799
Speaker 1: I was just told that, I said, I remember all

734
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:59,400
Speaker 1: of this in my twenties. I was boxing yesterday and

735
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:01,680
Speaker 1: I still feel it in my lower back, all this

736
00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:04,160
Speaker 1: little turn your body quick and all this. I'm like, sir,

737
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:08,200
Speaker 1: you're twenty something. Little coach like hold on now. But

738
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:11,000
Speaker 1: but yeah, it's not just about that. It's like an

739
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 1: overall overarching thing.

740
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:16,680
Speaker 2: Now real quick. You you're married, right.

741
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:19,120
Speaker 1: I am ten years in December.

742
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 2: Congratulations show a decade.

743
00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:23,759
Speaker 1: I love it.

744
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:27,880
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm trying to make a six months married.

745
00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:33,960
Speaker 1: I know, congress both of you. I know I liked

746
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,440
Speaker 1: your little pictures and stuff on Facebook. I was lurking

747
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:40,640
Speaker 1: and oh so happy for both of you. Welcome to

748
00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:41,000
Speaker 1: the fold.

749
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,440
Speaker 3: Well, you are a veteran, but I was going to

750
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:46,319
Speaker 3: ask if you wanted to talk about how you and

751
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 3: your husband, you know, if is he part of this

752
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:50,759
Speaker 3: of the strategy? You know that not strategy, but you know,

753
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 3: when you took a step back from your whatever you

754
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:55,520
Speaker 3: were doing in your business and wanted a transition. I mean,

755
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:57,840
Speaker 3: how do you guys talk to each other about that?

756
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:00,960
Speaker 3: And where is he incorporated and supporting and vice versa.

757
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:05,399
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, So the second pillar actually for redefining wealth

758
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:09,800
Speaker 1: is people, and people is all about creating relationships that matter.

759
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,880
Speaker 1: And one of the things after my daughter got me

760
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 1: all the way together in the kitchen that one day,

761
00:39:16,239 --> 00:39:18,960
Speaker 1: that one Sunday, I talked to my husband about it,

762
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:21,799
Speaker 1: and he was like, I mean, well, yeah, I'm like,

763
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:23,239
Speaker 1: what do you mean. Yeah, you know. I first told

764
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:27,600
Speaker 1: him like can you believe and he was like, yeah, totally, yeah,

765
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:30,719
Speaker 1: totally believe it. I was like, you know, when you

766
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:33,200
Speaker 1: were looking for a little camaraderie and thought someone would

767
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 1: have your back, and he gave me none of that

768
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:39,239
Speaker 1: because he's a real friend. So my husband and I

769
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:43,760
Speaker 1: ended up having a great conversation too, and that really

770
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:48,719
Speaker 1: began the beginning of us like really being more intentional

771
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:53,120
Speaker 1: about not having our phone out during dinner and when

772
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:56,320
Speaker 1: someone's talking to you, you look up from the phone,

773
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:58,560
Speaker 1: like you don't keep looking at the phone like I

774
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:01,000
Speaker 1: hear you, I hear you, go ahead. Meanwhile you're like

775
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 1: laser focused on your text message or your email or whatever.

776
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:07,000
Speaker 1: We had to work through some things that we could do,

777
00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:12,880
Speaker 1: one to really I think, rebuild and continue to build

778
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:15,480
Speaker 1: intimacy and our marriage, but also to be a better

779
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:19,959
Speaker 1: example for our daughter. And one of the greatest things

780
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:21,680
Speaker 1: that you can give your spouse is just your time

781
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:25,120
Speaker 1: and attention. And it's really easy. You know, when I

782
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,880
Speaker 1: was sleeping on the couch, my husband was too. You know,

783
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 1: he took a job at Taco Bell and was working

784
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:35,399
Speaker 1: at Taco Bell having people throw open faced tacos through

785
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 1: the drive through in his face like he went through

786
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,880
Speaker 1: it during that time. And so while I've been building

787
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:43,800
Speaker 1: this brand, he's been rebuilding himself and now he again

788
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:47,080
Speaker 1: has a seven figure business as well. And one of

789
00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:51,239
Speaker 1: the things that we attribute that to is not just

790
00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:54,359
Speaker 1: you know, getting clear about what we wanted to do

791
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:57,799
Speaker 1: and chasing our passions and all that stuff. It's also

792
00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:01,719
Speaker 1: the support that we've given each other in the time,

793
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:03,880
Speaker 1: time and attention we put in. Like we're very deliberate

794
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 1: about date night. There was a time around the same

795
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:09,719
Speaker 1: time that my daughter got with me real tough in

796
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:14,080
Speaker 1: the kitchen. You know, we were doing deliberate date nights

797
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:17,239
Speaker 1: every week for years, even when we were broke. When

798
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:19,160
Speaker 1: we were in New Orleans, broke and we had like

799
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:23,240
Speaker 1: a raggedy pickup truck, we would go to a Beignet shop,

800
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:28,160
Speaker 1: a Cafe Dumont near us UH in New Orleans and

801
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:31,719
Speaker 1: you know, play like three dollars. Oh, get us some Oh,

802
00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:37,520
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking about it right now, get us. Did

803
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:43,480
Speaker 1: you hear it? I heard it. Hold on to you.

804
00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 1: Let me get myself together. Yeah, we get like hot

805
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:47,959
Speaker 1: chocolate and share it. And we would put the back

806
00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:50,600
Speaker 1: down on that pickup truck and just sit back there.

807
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 1: We're talking like a five dollars date and we were

808
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:55,120
Speaker 1: just sitting in the back of the pickup truck and

809
00:41:55,200 --> 00:42:00,399
Speaker 1: eat beignets and share one hot chocolate. And the more

810
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:04,840
Speaker 1: money we made and the more stuff that we had

811
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:09,279
Speaker 1: over the years, we did start, like, you know, not

812
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:13,040
Speaker 1: doing those things regularly, like we would have date night,

813
00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:14,960
Speaker 1: but we would allow it to get pushed to the

814
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:18,200
Speaker 1: side if something else come up. And it was not

815
00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:21,279
Speaker 1: like anyone was bitter in the moment. It was like, oh,

816
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:23,200
Speaker 1: you gotta do that, Okay, Well cool, I guess I'll

817
00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:25,400
Speaker 1: just work on this, like we'll find another day. But

818
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:28,080
Speaker 1: then weeks turn into months and you haven't had your

819
00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:33,600
Speaker 1: consistent date night. And so since twenty fifteen, we've been really,

820
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 1: really deliberate. We have a date night pretty much every

821
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 1: Tuesday or Wednesday night. We learned very quickly that Friday

822
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:41,719
Speaker 1: and Saturdays, young people want to go out and do

823
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:44,719
Speaker 1: their thing. You cannot depend on them the babysit, so

824
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:46,840
Speaker 1: you have to pull your fun into the middle of

825
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:51,640
Speaker 1: the week. So bro so like Tuesdays and Wednesdays. We're

826
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:55,200
Speaker 1: really deliberate about date night. And you know, my husband

827
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:57,800
Speaker 1: works in entertainment now and he works on a show

828
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:03,320
Speaker 1: and the show was actually taping talk. The new schedule

829
00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:05,799
Speaker 1: came out and the show was taping on Tuesday nights,

830
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:08,520
Speaker 1: which would normally be our date night. And the thing

831
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:11,000
Speaker 1: that really got me, you guys, this is a in

832
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:13,920
Speaker 1: August of this year. As soon as he got the

833
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:17,239
Speaker 1: tape schedule, he literally forwarded it to me and then

834
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:19,440
Speaker 1: he called me and said, did you look at the email?

835
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:21,359
Speaker 1: And I said no, and he's like, can you open it?

836
00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 1: So I open it and maybe he had that email

837
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:26,920
Speaker 1: in his inbox for fifteen minutes and he immediately thought,

838
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:31,399
Speaker 1: this conflicts with date night, so he renegotiated a new night,

839
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:35,040
Speaker 1: like right there on the spot, and I was like, dang.

840
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 1: Four or five years ago, no, wouldn't have happened. He'd

841
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:44,480
Speaker 1: have been like, hey, so, and we would have just

842
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:47,239
Speaker 1: like let it go. But so deliberate. We've been using

843
00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:49,759
Speaker 1: that to test out different restaurants and areas that we

844
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:53,120
Speaker 1: wouldn't normally go to. So we take turns finding things

845
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:55,319
Speaker 1: on Yelp or hear things that we've heard about and

846
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:57,560
Speaker 1: we'll just go to a completely different area, have a

847
00:43:57,640 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 1: nice dinner. Sometimes we go to work out together. That's

848
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:03,880
Speaker 1: the other thing. We work out together. Three days a

849
00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 1: week at six o'clock in the morning, we go to

850
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:10,680
Speaker 1: boxing together. That's relatively new. That's been like since early summer,

851
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:12,920
Speaker 1: so we've been doing that about five or six months.

852
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:16,200
Speaker 1: But we're just constantly finding things for us to do together,

853
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 1: and that has been again so fulfilling because when there

854
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:24,640
Speaker 1: is something that we have to do, like he is

855
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 1: actually on a flight right now to New York to

856
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:31,320
Speaker 1: take something and so we're not having date nights tonight,

857
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:35,239
Speaker 1: but not this weekend. But the previous weekend he took

858
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:38,720
Speaker 1: me on a little vacation to Newport Beach. Three days.

859
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:41,560
Speaker 1: We hung out, We spent a lot of time together.

860
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:44,839
Speaker 1: We went to the spa and it was just beautiful.

861
00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:47,440
Speaker 1: But he makes sure we both make sure that we

862
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:52,560
Speaker 1: deposit so that nobody feels depleted, you know, when there

863
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:54,800
Speaker 1: are those times when work has to make a withdraw,

864
00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:58,000
Speaker 1: and same thing for my daughter, like I've been so

865
00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:00,400
Speaker 1: much more intentional about this time that I been with

866
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:03,359
Speaker 1: her that when I do have to go speak or

867
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:05,640
Speaker 1: when I am going to work, if it's something that

868
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 1: she can't come to, she's like, go get them, girlfriend,

869
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:12,640
Speaker 1: Like this is truly like my little friend. Or when

870
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:16,080
Speaker 1: I come back, she's like, you sold all your books?

871
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:20,160
Speaker 1: You sold all your books? Did you come home with anything?

872
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:25,840
Speaker 1: She's also slash manager in this relationship, but they're so proud,

873
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:30,040
Speaker 1: and so by being more deliberate and intentional with them,

874
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:33,200
Speaker 1: it allows me to stand up and be great when

875
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:37,040
Speaker 1: I'm out, Like I feel my most confident and bold

876
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:39,960
Speaker 1: self when I'm on stage, when I'm on TV, when

877
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 1: I'm doing my stuff, because I know I got people

878
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:44,440
Speaker 1: that love me no matter what. So even if I

879
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 1: fall right here, I'm still going home to a house

880
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:49,520
Speaker 1: full of love. So if you don't like me, that's fine.

881
00:45:49,560 --> 00:45:53,240
Speaker 1: I can accept it. But I know that before I came,

882
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:56,279
Speaker 1: I was being nurtured and encouraged, and when I leave here,

883
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:59,719
Speaker 1: I'll be nurtured and encouraged, And for me, that matters

884
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 1: so much more. I definitely love the feedback from my

885
00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:08,759
Speaker 1: audience or from producers or from whoever, but nothing beats

886
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:12,839
Speaker 1: what my family thinks about me. I love that. I

887
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:18,720
Speaker 1: think that that truly to me is redefining wealth, and

888
00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:20,600
Speaker 1: and I think that, right, Mandy, that that's like such

889
00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:24,759
Speaker 1: good feedback. I mean, well, because I want to figure out,

890
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 1: like what what can we do more of? Because I

891
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:30,920
Speaker 1: do get the reason why people always ask like, you know,

892
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:35,040
Speaker 1: how how am I able? Or why have I grown

893
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:37,120
Speaker 1: so quickly? And it's not that I've grown quickly, but

894
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:40,800
Speaker 1: I saw the huge boost when I got with my

895
00:46:40,920 --> 00:46:45,320
Speaker 1: husband because because in meanwhile, he's just a regular regular

896
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:49,319
Speaker 1: you know, nine to five, just the regular guy. And

897
00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:51,319
Speaker 1: I remember he would always ask like, oh, you know,

898
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:52,960
Speaker 1: you sure you don't want one of those like you

899
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:57,839
Speaker 1: know whatever, guys. I'm like, I don't know what you mean,

900
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:01,480
Speaker 1: but you know that. But it's because there's such a

901
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:06,239
Speaker 1: solid foundation, because I am always someone's foundation, right, I

902
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:09,680
Speaker 1: am big Mama in my family, like you know, like

903
00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:15,560
Speaker 1: everybody Rwanda. Yeah, so I carry a lot and there

904
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:19,600
Speaker 1: was I've never been with someone who there is that

905
00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 1: I could actually lean on confidently except for my father

906
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:26,080
Speaker 1: there so he set a good example of this is

907
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:30,440
Speaker 1: what it looks like to lean on someone financially spiritually

908
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 1: because you know, and so every guy that I dated,

909
00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:38,200
Speaker 1: I became my father to them, which is like I

910
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:41,440
Speaker 1: was the I got you lean on me you know,

911
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:43,359
Speaker 1: and I didn't realize that that I was turning every

912
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 1: man into my child. I met my husband and he

913
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:49,080
Speaker 1: was like, I don't know who you think you're raising,

914
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:55,520
Speaker 1: fully grown Come on, Superman, you can actually lean on me.

915
00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:57,239
Speaker 1: And I remember I was like, well, you know, I

916
00:47:57,280 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 1: make a little bit more and so you know, I

917
00:47:58,480 --> 00:48:00,520
Speaker 1: can handle these bills. He was like, they were paid

918
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:03,359
Speaker 1: before you got here, so I need you to take

919
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:05,200
Speaker 1: a seat and I will handle the bill. It was.

920
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:08,160
Speaker 1: It still blows my mind to this day where I'm like, wow,

921
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:12,120
Speaker 1: you know, and so I can totally understand, and I'm

922
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:14,279
Speaker 1: wanting to lean more into because we don't have a

923
00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:16,560
Speaker 1: regular date night. I mean, like we hang out when

924
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:20,160
Speaker 1: it's like oh, but making that strategic time, I think

925
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:23,399
Speaker 1: that that is an amazing idea. I actually I feel

926
00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 1: like you ha got forward to it. Yeah, it's something

927
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:28,400
Speaker 1: for you to look forward to. And I'll tell you what,

928
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:31,319
Speaker 1: because it's not all peaches and roses and rainbows every day.

929
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:33,520
Speaker 1: You know, some days you'll be looking at these jokers

930
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:41,800
Speaker 1: like you know what, Listen like, I'm really really trying

931
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:45,080
Speaker 1: my patience today. But the funny thing is we get

932
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:47,920
Speaker 1: it together for date night, like like a couple of

933
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:51,120
Speaker 1: weeks ago, I was not feeling him on a Wednesday morning.

934
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:53,560
Speaker 1: I'm not even gonna lie. I don't even remember what happened.

935
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:55,400
Speaker 1: You know, it could be anything. It doesn't even have

936
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:58,000
Speaker 1: to be major, but you're like, really, like you're just

937
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,799
Speaker 1: gonna keep smacking like that or whatever. It was something

938
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:01,200
Speaker 1: where I was.

939
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:03,239
Speaker 2: Like getting what was that for?

940
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:06,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, smacking not cool, But it was like I did

941
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:08,480
Speaker 1: something and he was like, would you look at me

942
00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:11,200
Speaker 1: like that for? And I was like, I can look

943
00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:12,840
Speaker 1: how I want to look. You know, I popped. It

944
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:15,960
Speaker 1: popped a little attitude. I didn't even know what happened.

945
00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:19,040
Speaker 1: The funny thing is we still to this day don't

946
00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:21,680
Speaker 1: know what really happened or how it started. But it

947
00:49:21,719 --> 00:49:24,399
Speaker 1: was just one of those moments. But let me tell you.

948
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:27,239
Speaker 1: Before he left that morning to go to work and

949
00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:30,160
Speaker 1: I realized it was date night and I wanted to

950
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:32,239
Speaker 1: go to that restaurant, I was like, a man, pull

951
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:35,960
Speaker 1: yourself together, go apologize so you can have a good

952
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:38,400
Speaker 1: date night. Like it really keeps us in check too,

953
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:40,359
Speaker 1: because we look forward to it. So I was like,

954
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:44,879
Speaker 1: if I did something to offend you, I apologized. He's

955
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:46,960
Speaker 1: like Ooh, you didn't even want to apologize, but thank

956
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:51,520
Speaker 1: you for trying. Yeah, but we've been together fourteen years.

957
00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 1: So these are fourteen almost fifteen years of Shenanigans, married

958
00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:59,000
Speaker 1: for ten and it hasn't been easy, but it has

959
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:03,560
Speaker 1: been beautiful because it's an opportunity, like you were talking about, Tiffany,

960
00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:06,400
Speaker 1: like to have someone that you can lean on that

961
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:09,239
Speaker 1: just lets you be you, you know too, and he

962
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:13,319
Speaker 1: lets me be all of me. You know. I have

963
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:18,480
Speaker 1: my Patrise Washington, and then there's Patrice Cunningham and Patrese

964
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:22,439
Speaker 1: Cunningham is from the hood and she turns up every

965
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:25,839
Speaker 1: once in a while, and he likes both of them

966
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:28,520
Speaker 1: like whoever pops out, He's like, I got it, I'm

967
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:31,160
Speaker 1: with you, like whatever. You know. He lets me be

968
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 1: all of me. And I dated people in the past

969
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:36,000
Speaker 1: where it would be like could you not or their

970
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,440
Speaker 1: mom is like your dress is a little tight, and

971
00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:40,440
Speaker 1: y'all know how I feel about my tight dresses. This

972
00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:42,920
Speaker 1: is this is not new, this's been going off a decade.

973
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:46,759
Speaker 1: So I was like, so your mom's dressing me now,

974
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:49,600
Speaker 1: you know. But my husband is always let me be

975
00:50:49,719 --> 00:50:53,880
Speaker 1: me and he's always protected me, even from family. Members

976
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:56,640
Speaker 1: who thought that they could have a say in our

977
00:50:56,680 --> 00:50:59,279
Speaker 1: relationship too, or in our Mayorage urge or how we

978
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:04,800
Speaker 1: parent or what ever. He he covers that, So yeah, wow,

979
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 1: I still like him.

980
00:51:07,040 --> 00:51:09,479
Speaker 3: I feel like this has been awesome, right, Mandy, Yeah,

981
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:11,960
Speaker 3: thanks so much for coming on and definitely, I mean,

982
00:51:11,960 --> 00:51:13,719
Speaker 3: this is a great teaser for your show. I feel

983
00:51:13,719 --> 00:51:17,600
Speaker 3: like Redefining Wealth on iTunes. I'm I'm assuming everywhere you

984
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:20,200
Speaker 3: can listen to podcasts you can find Redefining Wealth.

985
00:51:20,680 --> 00:51:22,680
Speaker 1: Yep, yep, And if you have a hard time, go

986
00:51:22,719 --> 00:51:26,040
Speaker 1: to Patrice Washington dot dot com. But thank you guys

987
00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:28,640
Speaker 1: so much. I always enjoy chatting with you. I love

988
00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:30,840
Speaker 1: that it's not you know, you know how some places

989
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:33,040
Speaker 1: you go and it's kind of stale there. You're kind

990
00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:34,640
Speaker 1: of like, just like what you get through it for

991
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:37,920
Speaker 1: getting out of a getting out of bed, You're like.

992
00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:42,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, how could it be stale when you're here?

993
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:47,799
Speaker 1: Exactly? Think that someone can google that you can share

994
00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:53,560
Speaker 1: right now? Essentially, yes, exactly, that's a good Well what

995
00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:56,320
Speaker 1: are the things that people can google that they've already googled,

996
00:51:56,360 --> 00:51:59,319
Speaker 1: that they've already heard nineteen times? Yeah, So thank you

997
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:02,680
Speaker 1: guys for all Also letting me be me and allowing

998
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:05,120
Speaker 1: me to come back on and share about redefining wealth.

999
00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:08,480
Speaker 1: I don't know what the next few years hold, but

1000
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:11,000
Speaker 1: I am super excited to be in this space right

1001
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:13,719
Speaker 1: now and doing everything that I'm doing. It feels like

1002
00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:17,200
Speaker 1: exactly where I'm supposed to be and exactly what I

1003
00:52:17,239 --> 00:52:17,839
Speaker 1: was called to do.