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Speaker 1: The most pivotal moment of that whole foster care journey.

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Speaker 1: Those foster care classes actually.

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Speaker 2: Came at week seven.

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Speaker 1: They took us to the Department of Children's Services in

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Speaker 1: Washington County, Tennessee, Johnson City. I'd never been to an

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Speaker 1: office like that. I always tell people to think about

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Speaker 1: the DMV. And we're sitting in this room. It's kind

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Speaker 1: of grab no windows, kind of dingy, and the gentleman

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Speaker 1: says that when a child is removed from.

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Speaker 2: Their home, they come here.

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Speaker 1: And I thought, he's not meaning here, Like he doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean like this physical building, Like there's no reason you

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Speaker 1: would ever bring a child in here. And so that's

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Speaker 1: what I asked. I was like, when you say here,

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Speaker 1: you don't mean here. And he said, a little girl

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Speaker 1: slept on this floor last night. And that's when I

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Speaker 1: got mad at God, how could you? And I was

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Speaker 1: so mad and I heard, these are my children.

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Speaker 2: What are you going to do?

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Speaker 3: Welcome to an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney.

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Speaker 3: I'm a normal guy. I'm a husband, a father, I'm

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Speaker 3: an entrepreneur, and I've been a football coach in Inner

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Speaker 3: City Memphis. And the last part unintentionally led to an

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Speaker 3: oscar for the film about our team. It's called Undefeated. Y'all.

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Speaker 3: I believe our country's problems will never be solved by

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Speaker 3: a bunch of fancy people and nice suits talking big

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Speaker 3: words that nobody understands on CNN and Fox, but rather

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Speaker 3: by an army of normal folks, us, just you and

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Speaker 3: me deciding, hey, I can help. That's what Ronda Paulson,

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Speaker 3: the voice we just heard, has done. Ronda took God's

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Speaker 3: challenge of what are you going to do? And she

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Speaker 3: built a beautiful home for foster children. So that's when

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Speaker 3: they're put into the one of the hardest days of

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Speaker 3: their life. They're not sleeping in a DMV type conference room,

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Speaker 3: and this one Isaiah one to seventeen house has turned

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Speaker 3: into twenty three of them and loving on over five

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Speaker 3: thousand foster kids. I cannot wait for you to meet

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Speaker 3: Ronda right after these brief messages from our generous sponsors.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to an army of normal folks. I am really

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Speaker 3: excited to have Ronda pausing with us. Her work boils

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Speaker 3: down to a thing called Isaiah one to seventeen House,

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Speaker 3: which we will get to later. But first, kind of

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Speaker 3: un hacking who she is and where she comes from

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Speaker 3: is pretty interesting. And Rhonda, thanks for coming to Memphis.

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Speaker 2: I'm excited to be here. Thanks for having me.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and don't you dare spoil it while you're in Memphis.

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Speaker 4: We'll talk about that at the end too. You're not

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Speaker 4: allowed to spoil it, all right.

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Speaker 3: But Ron is actually in Memphis for a reason today,

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Speaker 3: which kind of connects all the Dots store story.

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Speaker 4: But first, where are you from?

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Speaker 2: I'm from Bristol, Tennessee.

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Speaker 1: And city if we want to get specific, Bluff City, Tennessee.

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Speaker 4: Bluff City, Bluff City. Is that a suburb of Bristol?

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Speaker 4: Is that there's such a thing.

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Speaker 2: Oh, there is a we say Bristol.

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Speaker 1: I was five minutes from the Bristol Motor Speedway, but

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Speaker 1: it's technically Bluff City, Tennessee.

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Speaker 4: All right. Mom daed at home. Siblings.

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Speaker 1: Mom dad still married and started dating when my mom

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Speaker 1: was in eighth grade. Got married in nineteen sixty nine.

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Speaker 1: Still married. Dad was a banker. Mom says that she

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Speaker 1: was an investigator, but she worked in the office at

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Speaker 1: the police station. But brother, younger brother Ryan, Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: a good it was a.

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Speaker 3: Good upbring, so normal American middle class upper middle class

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Speaker 3: kind of kind of type story.

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Speaker 4: And then went off to college.

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Speaker 1: Went to college one town over Johnson City, Tennessee, Milligan

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Speaker 1: College at the time, they're now Milligan University, but Milligan College,

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Speaker 1: small private college and the Hills at East Tennessee. And

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Speaker 1: I met my husband there. He was from Indiana. He

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Speaker 1: came down to go to Milligan.

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Speaker 3: There's somebody from Indiana doing a Milligan finding me. Oh well,

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Speaker 3: good point, Well that makes complete sense. But he didn't

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Speaker 3: know that when he enrolled.

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Speaker 1: So Milligan has a strong Christian background, Christian Church background,

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Speaker 1: and so there was a strong Christian Church background in

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Speaker 1: Indiana and they would all come down to go to Milligan.

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Speaker 4: No kidding. So small Leberal Arts School. What you what'd

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Speaker 4: you major in?

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Speaker 2: Actually a biology with a minor in chemistry.

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Speaker 4: Were you going to be a doc?

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Speaker 2: I was? I was?

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Speaker 1: And my mom said I would always be a teacher.

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Speaker 1: And she begged and begged and begged, and so second

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Speaker 1: semester of my junior year year, she said, take one education class,

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Speaker 1: just take one. I know you're a teacher. And the

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Speaker 1: way I felt when I walked into school versus the

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Speaker 1: way I was feeling every time I worked in an

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Speaker 1: hospital like it was night and day, like I just

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Speaker 1: came alive.

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Speaker 3: Like to one about money for you is about what

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Speaker 3: you want to do? Oh yeah, yeah, because obviously a doctor.

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Speaker 4: Is going to make ten times with a teacher.

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Speaker 2: Banks.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't raised in a house where you really talked

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Speaker 1: about money or that wasn't your driving force.

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Speaker 2: We always had enough.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you know, but no, that was not my

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Speaker 1: motivation when I was picking an occupation.

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Speaker 4: And Corey is your husband.

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Speaker 1: Corey was also a biology teacher, a biology major, excuse me,

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Speaker 1: and he wanted to be a teacher and a coach.

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Speaker 1: And he student taught one day and came home and said,

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Speaker 1: there's something wrong with those kids.

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Speaker 2: I cannot do that. I'm not going a lot.

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Speaker 4: That's so what he ended up doing.

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Speaker 1: He's done a little bit of everything. But he was

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Speaker 1: a pharmacutical sales rep for a while. He worked for

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Speaker 1: Chick fil A for a while, and now we work together.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so seems pretty no, Folks, at this point, you

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Speaker 3: got Ronda and Corey met at college, get married and

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Speaker 3: start a life. I assume in well somewhere up.

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Speaker 1: At East sust Elizabethton, Tennessee, one town over in between

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Speaker 1: Bristol and Johnson City.

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Speaker 2: See I moved all around.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, it's with it at fifty radius of the

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Speaker 4: metropolis Bristol.

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Speaker 1: I got hired at elizabeth In High School right out

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Speaker 1: of college, and so we bought a house in this

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Speaker 1: small little town Carter County, Tennessee, Elizabethan, and yeah, started

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Speaker 1: building a life, had two children. Sophie is now twenty one,

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Speaker 1: Mac is seventeen, will be eighteen in June.

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Speaker 2: And so two.

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Speaker 1: Kiddos, a pretty little brick house in a small little town.

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Speaker 1: I was a teacher where he was working for the

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Speaker 1: local Chick fil A.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, sounds like a great simple, not very h

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Speaker 3: not very dangerous, easy understandable.

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Speaker 1: Oh little ganic wonderful cars are unlocked. Our mailman walked

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Speaker 1: our mail up to the front porch. We're a Santa hat,

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Speaker 1: you know, in the at crisp time, and Frank, my

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Speaker 1: kid's knew Frank was coming. I mean, picturesque, honestly, not perfect,

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Speaker 1: but just save small town USA. Everybody walked to the

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Speaker 1: football game on Friday night. Everybody went to elizabeth In

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Speaker 1: High School go Cyclones football game on Friday night.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, which, by the way, for those of you not

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Speaker 3: from the southeast or even a small town in the Southeast.

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Speaker 3: Friday nights during the fall is I mean candidly, probably

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Speaker 3: a more attended day than even Sunday mornings at church. Yes,

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Speaker 3: and literally towns shut down on Friday at noon absolutely

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Speaker 3: to get ready for the ball games. And literally everyone

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Speaker 3: in the town is at the ballgame and into these

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Speaker 3: little lady be challenged. You'll have fifteen hundred to twenty

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Speaker 3: five hundred people at the Friday night football game, and

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Speaker 3: that is the event and it goes on off all.

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Speaker 1: So we had to get on a waiting list five

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Speaker 1: years before my daughter was going to be in high

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Speaker 1: school to get season tickets to be able to attend

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Speaker 1: the Friday night football game and sit on the home

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Speaker 1: side in high school. In high school, that is a

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Speaker 1: true story. Now we have them, and we don't even

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Speaker 1: have like my son's graduating. We've got younger children, but

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Speaker 1: we can't let go of them, and like the people

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Speaker 1: next to us, like they will them to next family members.

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Speaker 2: I'm not kidding.

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Speaker 4: I get it.

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Speaker 3: I've seen it, I've coached in it, I've coached at it,

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Speaker 3: and I mean, how good is the team this year?

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Speaker 2: Well?

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Speaker 1: Good, but listen. Fun note for us, because you're football Jason.

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Speaker 4: Whitten, Yeah, Jason Wenten went to University NFL tight end

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Speaker 4: with the Cowboys, and I think, now, hall of Fame guy.

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Speaker 1: Now that's Hall of Fame tight end Dallas Cowboys. I

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Speaker 1: taught him Elizabeth High School and his brother Sean. Sean

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Speaker 1: is our hometown football coach, so at Dave Rider Field,

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Speaker 1: which was their grandfather.

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Speaker 2: And so yeah, I mean it's.

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Speaker 4: And y'all if you listeners, if you think this is unique,

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Speaker 4: it may be unique from many parts of the world,

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Speaker 4: but in the Southeast this is by no means unique.

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Speaker 4: This happens all over Georgia and Mississippi and Tennessee. And

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Speaker 4: the reason I'm telling.

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Speaker 3: You is it develops this odd sense of community because

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Speaker 3: on Friday nights, it doesn't matter what you look like,

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Speaker 3: how you vote, who you love, or what you do.

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Speaker 3: Everybody's there for the kids in that school, in that community.

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Speaker 3: And it is a really source of communal pride that happens.

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Speaker 2: It's beautiful, it really is.

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Speaker 4: It's great, it is, it really is.

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Speaker 3: It's Norman Rockwell else And ironically enough, I want to

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Speaker 3: tell you that Bristol is only about an hour and

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Speaker 3: fifteen minutes of the booming metropolis of Rural Retreat, Virginia,

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Speaker 3: which I will be at.

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Speaker 1: Tomorrow and where my cousin lives, which is weird.

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Speaker 4: Davy didn't even I mean, I don't know. Their populations

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Speaker 4: cannot be more than fifteen yeah, like twelve, right, your

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Speaker 4: cousins one of them, so, which is weird.

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Speaker 3: And I'm going to be there tomorrow for business. But

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Speaker 3: I've been all over that eastern Tennessee Western Virginia area

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Speaker 3: and it.

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Speaker 2: Is absolutely beautiful.

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Speaker 3: It is the rolling hills, the mountains, the Blue Ridge

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Speaker 3: Mountains and the background and when the low clouds come

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Speaker 3: in and the winter times are gorgeous there and it's

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Speaker 3: really just a cool place.

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Speaker 1: So before I got into my current role, like I said,

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Speaker 1: I traveled from Bluff City to Bristol, to John City

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Speaker 1: to Elizabethan. But in my current role, I travel a

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Speaker 1: lot and I can't get over how.

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Speaker 2: Beautiful my hometown is.

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Speaker 4: Thank You're fortunate.

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Speaker 3: It's a great place. And it's not just the physical beauty.

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Speaker 3: It's the culture, the sense of community, all of it.

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Speaker 3: And it is not a place that you would expect

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Speaker 3: children to be abandoned, which we'll get to So you

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Speaker 3: got married, got this house, you're living in this beautiful place,

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Speaker 3: you got the Chick fil A. You're at the school.

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Speaker 3: I think I read you taught dance or cheer or

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Speaker 3: you were like I was at.

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Speaker 1: High school level, taught anatomy, a cheer coach there, took

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Speaker 1: a brief hiatus to be a stay at home mom

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Speaker 1: when Mac started school. I then started working at Milligan

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Speaker 1: as an anatomy professor. So I worked in the cadaver lab,

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Speaker 1: but I was also the cheer and dance coach at

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Speaker 1: Milligan University.

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Speaker 3: Wow, So I mean you got this thing going I do,

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Speaker 3: and you and Coreyer are going through life.

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Speaker 4: It's safe, it's simple. And then I read.

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Speaker 3: You discussed with him something that you knew you were

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Speaker 3: always going to do that he knew, well, not necessarily

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Speaker 3: you were always.

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Speaker 4: Going to do.

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Speaker 3: So take me to what started the process of what

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Speaker 3: your life is now?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I vividly remember being in high school

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Speaker 1: and talking about that I wanted to adopt a baby someday.

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Speaker 1: Like I remember saying that a lot.

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Speaker 2: I remember being in college and like laying in dorm

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Speaker 2: room and saying, I'm good adopt a baby.

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Speaker 3: Is that a thing that people in high school want

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Speaker 3: to adopt a child.

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Speaker 2: I don't know it was for me. I just knew.

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Speaker 4: I got to say, Ron, I think it's kind of weird.

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Speaker 4: I mean, the high school girl laying around high school girls.

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Speaker 4: I want to live in the castle. I want to

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Speaker 4: marry the press charming. No, yeah, I want to adopt

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Speaker 4: a kid.

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Speaker 1: I wanted three boys, and I wanted to adopt a kid.

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Speaker 1: That's what I wanted.

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Speaker 4: That.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't even understand where that comes from. I

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Speaker 3: think it's sweet, but I don't even get it.

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Speaker 2: I look back now, and I think it is something

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Speaker 2: God laid on my heart. I do believe that.

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Speaker 4: I do believe that it's just something you felt called

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Speaker 4: to do.

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Speaker 1: So then I meet Corey and so I've had this.

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Speaker 1: Why didn't it come up in two years of dating?

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Speaker 1: Why didn't it come up in premirial counsel?

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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 2: How did that get dropped?

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Speaker 4: You know? Like, I don't know, So you think it

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Speaker 4: was a secret.

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Speaker 2: I think I think that you know, love is blind,

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 1: So then we get married, and so then what I

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Speaker 1: thought was just having a conversation, he felt I was

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Speaker 1: dropping a bomb, Like I can't wait till we adopt.

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Speaker 2: He was like, what are you talking about. I was like,

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Speaker 2: the Lord has always told me I would adopt.

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Speaker 1: And he was like, well, the Lord has told me

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't.

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Speaker 3: And so it was that a Did it become a

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Speaker 3: point of contention? Was it a little bit of a

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Speaker 3: thing with y'all?

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Speaker 2: No, Corey, lets me have my way about everything. Everything.

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Speaker 2: Why why is everything? It's what you tell you?

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Speaker 1: He was like, secret to happy marriage, Mama's happy, everybody's happy.

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Speaker 1: And so when he said no, that was so out

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Speaker 1: of character for him that I was like, oh, he

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Speaker 1: means it, you know, serious, serious, And so, yeah, things

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Speaker 1: would come up. I would be crying over a video

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Speaker 1: or a TV show and he'd be like, Rondo, it

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Speaker 1: ain't happen, you know, like he just know.

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Speaker 4: And so you'd be crying.

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Speaker 3: Oh, you'd be watching something about adoption or children who

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Speaker 3: are abandoned and you would just start balling and he'd

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Speaker 3: be like, try it up.

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Speaker 2: That an't work, it ain't.

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Speaker 1: Happening, and so and that's just not who he is.

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Speaker 1: And so I just kind of had let it go.

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Speaker 1: I think in my mind this was something most people

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Speaker 1: needed to be on board about.

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Speaker 2: This wasn't something you talked to somebody into Yeah, you

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Speaker 2: can't do that, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And so I kind of let it go. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: for how long till twenty fourteen?

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Speaker 4: Well when did you have the first conversation?

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Speaker 2: Nineteen ninety seven?

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, you did let it go.

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Speaker 3: We're talking, we're talking seventeen years talking a generation of lifetime.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yes.

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Speaker 4: And then what happened in twenty fourteen?

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Speaker 1: So twenty thirteen, my word for the year was surrender,

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Speaker 1: and I just was digging into what would that mean,

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Speaker 1: to truly surrender.

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Speaker 2: To God my life? What would that mean?

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Speaker 1: And then twenty fourteen my word was obedience. So if

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Speaker 1: I'm going to surrender, then what would it look like

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Speaker 1: to walk in obedience? And so that was the mindset

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Speaker 1: that I was in that whole year.

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Speaker 2: And so it was November of that year.

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Speaker 4: Does Corey have words annually? No? So this is your thing,

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Speaker 4: this is my thing?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Because it feels like Corey succumbed to obedience and

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Speaker 3: surrender about seventeen years prior.

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Speaker 2: He would have totally attest to that.

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Speaker 4: He's like, I think he was a decade and a

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Speaker 4: half aad.

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Speaker 2: He's glad I was catching up.

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Speaker 4: That's right, he surrenders.

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Speaker 1: And so that'd been my word for the whole year, obedience,

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Speaker 1: what would look like to be obedient. We'd done some

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Speaker 1: kind of big things in that moment, like we sold

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Speaker 1: a car because we just felt like it was a

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Speaker 1: good car, like we need to sell it and pay

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Speaker 1: off some debt.

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Speaker 2: And we're just trying to walk in obedience. And so

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Speaker 2: I'm homesick from work.

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Speaker 4: You're listening to Dave, aren't you.

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Speaker 1: There was part of there was I could tell he

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Speaker 1: saved our lives at one point. I wish I wasn't dramatic.

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Speaker 1: That's a whole different podcast. But anyway, so I'm homesick

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Speaker 1: from work, which never happened, because you can't miss. If

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Speaker 1: you're a lab instructor, you don't miss, you know. And

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Speaker 1: so I was home. I was laying in bed. It

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Speaker 1: was November, and I was watching the Today Show and

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Speaker 1: they were doing this special about adoptions. So already I'm hooked,

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Speaker 1: you know. And so they have eight families there and

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Speaker 1: they're creating these forever families, and they'd ring this bell

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Speaker 1: they would watch so they solidified this adoption. So it's

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Speaker 1: an official right there. There's a judge and he's making

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Speaker 1: the adoptions.

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Speaker 4: Official and they're doing this on TV.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Yes, in honor of National Adoption.

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Speaker 1: I get it, and so I am a mess because

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Speaker 1: it's adoption. And then they announced that seventy five percent

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Speaker 1: of the children being adopted that day were being adopted

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Speaker 1: through foster care. I didn't know a thing about foster

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Speaker 1: care nothing. I didn't know what the department was called,

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Speaker 1: where it was, I knew nothing. But I grabbed my

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00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:27,040
Speaker 1: laptop laying in bed, and I just googled foster Care

346
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Speaker 1: Northeast Tennessee and it popped up that you need to

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Speaker 1: take an eight week class in order to become a

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Speaker 1: foster parent.

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Speaker 2: And I thought, well, if he want a not maybe

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Speaker 2: he'll foster. And so I thought, how can we do this?

351
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Speaker 2: How can we do this?

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Speaker 1: Well, they said the classes were starting that Thursday at

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Speaker 1: a church we were familiar with. So I registered us

354
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Speaker 1: and then I called him at work and I said,

355
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Speaker 1: I want to go on a date with me Thursday night.

356
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Speaker 2: He said, I'd love to. I'll get mom to watch

357
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Speaker 2: the kids.

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Speaker 4: He's thinking all you can eat old and Corral.

359
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Speaker 1: He is not thinking, oh Golden Corral.

360
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Speaker 4: They're all over East Tennessee. I know.

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Speaker 2: I used to have a dancer though.

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Speaker 1: It'd say, can we go to Golden Corrall hope, We're

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Speaker 1: not going to Golden Crown. She's like, it's where the

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00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:15,720
Speaker 1: strawberries tastes like macaroni and cheese. I'm like, see that's

365
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:19,719
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about anyway, So sorry, gold Crowd. Yes,

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Speaker 1: it's a great place. My mother in law loves you.

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Speaker 4: They don't sponsor the shop.

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Speaker 2: So we get in the car. We go to Bonefish.

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Speaker 2: That's the restaurant we went to.

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Speaker 4: Bonefish is great. They got the Dynamite Shrimp or the

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Speaker 4: Bang Bang Bang Bang Shrimp trip.

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Speaker 1: And so we leave there and I was like, hey,

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Speaker 1: why don't we drive out to cross Ridge Christian Church?

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Speaker 4: And he was like, are you kidding me?

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you the truth and he said on our

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Speaker 1: date and I was like yeah, and he just shook

377
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Speaker 1: his head and he got on the interstate and we

378
00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,600
Speaker 1: drove out to Caral Sords Christian Church and we pulled

379
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,520
Speaker 1: in the parking that was packed and he was like.

380
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Speaker 4: What are you doing?

381
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Speaker 2: You know he goes lots of people dating at the

382
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Speaker 2: girl Sords Christian Church. It's crazy.

383
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Speaker 4: It's didn't you know that we walk in.

384
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Speaker 1: I actually see a guy from college. We're blag majors

385
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:09,480
Speaker 1: together and his wife and we sit down. I don't know,

386
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:11,120
Speaker 1: it had to be the lord. I don't know why

387
00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:12,800
Speaker 1: Corey was asking questions. I don't know what he thought

388
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Speaker 1: was happening. But we sit down and the lady stands

389
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Speaker 1: up and says, welcome to your eight week study of

390
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Speaker 1: foster care.

391
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Speaker 4: You're really not bellishing any of his story.

392
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Speaker 2: I am telling you the truth.

393
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Speaker 4: You did this, I did that, and he didn't get angry.

394
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:29,879
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, okay, so good, go ahead.

395
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Speaker 2: He acted a fool.

396
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Speaker 1: There was a paper there and you were supposed to

397
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,920
Speaker 1: write out things like children that you could see in

398
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,280
Speaker 1: your home, children that you would have difficulty in your

399
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,399
Speaker 1: home because of you know, we're just be really thinking

400
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:44,240
Speaker 1: about the children.

401
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,560
Speaker 3: And he wrote on it. It doesn't matter because when

402
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,200
Speaker 3: I get home, I'm gonna kill my ever.

403
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,199
Speaker 2: No and just shoving over notes at me, and I'm like,

404
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,200
Speaker 2: we're gonna get picked out. He's like, that's what I'm

405
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:54,639
Speaker 2: hoping for.

406
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Speaker 4: He was just shoving.

407
00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:58,280
Speaker 1: They were I mean, he was raising his hand and

408
00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,639
Speaker 1: saying obnoxious. Thinking he was so mad at me.

409
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:03,760
Speaker 2: He was hot.

410
00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:07,960
Speaker 1: We drove home in silence, went to bed, did not

411
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,159
Speaker 1: speak a word of what had just happened, got up

412
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,600
Speaker 1: the next morning, acted like that had happened.

413
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,159
Speaker 4: Was it one of those nights that you leave the

414
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:15,960
Speaker 4: lest overs in the car because you're so mad you

415
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:16,919
Speaker 4: don't even think them out.

416
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:17,919
Speaker 2: Of bout it, and make sure you don't touch, make

417
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:21,520
Speaker 2: sure nothing touches nothing, right, Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was mad.

418
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:21,880
Speaker 4: Yeah.

419
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,520
Speaker 3: I've created that atmosphere with Lisa a number of times since.

420
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,399
Speaker 3: Actually it's all my fault.

421
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,880
Speaker 1: Well yeah, And so we get up the next morning,

422
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,640
Speaker 1: but he's acting like everything's fine. So I just roll

423
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Speaker 1: with it, and so then we meet the driveway that

424
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,199
Speaker 1: next Thursday and he just kind of goes and we

425
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:37,879
Speaker 1: go to week two, so he didn't say you wouldn't

426
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:41,120
Speaker 1: go like we're going, We come home without speaking, then

427
00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:42,520
Speaker 1: we do it again. So we go to week three,

428
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:44,000
Speaker 1: but he's not saying anything, and so I'm.

429
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Speaker 2: Like, okay.

430
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Speaker 1: So we were coming home week three and he said I.

431
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 2: Do not want to do this, and I was like,

432
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:51,800
Speaker 2: I get it.

433
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Speaker 4: You know, I tricked you into and to his benefit,

434
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,280
Speaker 4: he gave you three weeks me he didn't want to

435
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:58,359
Speaker 4: do anywhere at all.

436
00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:00,439
Speaker 1: And that's what I said. I said, we made it

437
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,480
Speaker 1: three weeks. I tricked you into it. It wasn't fair,

438
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:07,240
Speaker 1: you know. And he was like, I actually said, I

439
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,080
Speaker 1: actually had something like it's okay.

440
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,240
Speaker 2: You know, no worries or something. He was like, oh,

441
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,560
Speaker 2: don't it's okay, no worries me. And I was like,

442
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:15,680
Speaker 2: what is happening?

443
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,560
Speaker 1: And he broke down and he started crying, and he

444
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:22,000
Speaker 1: was like, nothing about me wants to do this. Like

445
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,280
Speaker 1: I like simple, I like safe, I like predictable. You've

446
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:27,840
Speaker 1: known me for twenty years. I like to know what's happening.

447
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:30,200
Speaker 2: I like a plan. I don't like chaos. I don't

448
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:30,840
Speaker 2: like confusion.

449
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:35,600
Speaker 1: Nothing we have heard about foster care sounds safe, predictable

450
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,760
Speaker 1: or sensible or you know, not chaotic.

451
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:38,960
Speaker 2: It's like, but now I.

452
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:42,480
Speaker 1: Know, Like now I know there are kids in our

453
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:46,080
Speaker 1: county that literally have nowhere to go. And we have

454
00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:50,359
Speaker 1: a home, we have space, we have car, we have love,

455
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:55,400
Speaker 1: like we have to do this. So that was our

456
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:59,199
Speaker 1: moment where he was fully on board, and so we

457
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:00,040
Speaker 1: went back.

458
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:12,040
Speaker 3: And now a few messages from our general sponsors. But first,

459
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:15,359
Speaker 3: I hope you'll consider becoming a Premium Member of the

460
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:19,880
Speaker 3: Army at Normalfolks dot us. By becoming one for ten

461
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 3: bucks a month or one thousand dollars a year, you

462
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:26,159
Speaker 3: can get access to cool benefits like bonus episodes, a

463
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 3: yearly group call, and even a one on one call

464
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:33,760
Speaker 3: with me. Frankly, guys, premium memberships also help us to

465
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:37,600
Speaker 3: grow this army that our country desperately needs right now.

466
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,200
Speaker 3: So I hope you'll think about it. We'll be right back.

467
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:53,919
Speaker 1: The most pivotal moment of that whole foster care journey,

468
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:58,679
Speaker 1: those foster care classes actually came at week seven. It

469
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:00,719
Speaker 1: was actually week three that was beautiful and we were

470
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:03,280
Speaker 1: finally on the same page. But at week seven they

471
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:07,159
Speaker 1: took us to the Department of Children Services in Washington County, Tennessee,

472
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:10,959
Speaker 1: Johnson City. I'd never been to an office like that,

473
00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:13,879
Speaker 1: you know, since that time, I've been in thousands. Feels

474
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,200
Speaker 1: like they're all the same, you know. Just I always

475
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:19,200
Speaker 1: tell people to think about the DMV. It's a state office.

476
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 1: You know, there's tile floor, there's fluorescent lighting, there's state

477
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:23,920
Speaker 1: issued furniture.

478
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,760
Speaker 4: Class succeeds by works, Yeah, absolutely.

479
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:28,919
Speaker 1: I remember there was like a broken down VCR on

480
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,960
Speaker 1: a cart over to the left, you know, like a

481
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:31,920
Speaker 1: state office.

482
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,040
Speaker 2: And we're sitting in this room.

483
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:38,199
Speaker 1: It's kind of drab, no windows, kind of dingy, and

484
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,720
Speaker 1: the gentleman says that when a child is removed from

485
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:45,480
Speaker 1: their home, they come here. And I thought, he's not

486
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,479
Speaker 1: meaning here, like there's there's a like he doesn't mean

487
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:51,800
Speaker 1: like this physical building, Like there's no reason you would

488
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,239
Speaker 1: ever bring a child in here. And so that's what

489
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,679
Speaker 1: I asked. I was like, when you say here, you

490
00:22:56,720 --> 00:23:00,280
Speaker 1: don't mean here. And he said, a little girl whip

491
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:01,160
Speaker 1: on this floor last night.

492
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:10,879
Speaker 4: I know that that is. That has to be a

493
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:14,240
Speaker 4: time where you and Corey look at each other and say,

494
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:19,200
Speaker 4: this is horrible, but let's go back to where you

495
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:26,479
Speaker 4: grew up. The idyllic, beautiful East Tennessee, rolling hills, the

496
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,800
Speaker 4: entire communities, going to the ball games.

497
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:33,720
Speaker 3: Everybody supports everybody. You know, your postman by the first name,

498
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:37,200
Speaker 3: who wears a Santa Claus out on Christmas. That is

499
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 3: not a place where you envision children get left behind.

500
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 3: You envisioned children get left behind in Nashville or Memphis,

501
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:48,399
Speaker 3: or Louisville or La pick a metropolter area where you

502
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:54,199
Speaker 3: feel like that dysfunction more often would exist in an

503
00:23:54,320 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 3: urban area, not in Mayberry, not in How many kids

504
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 3: are we talking about.

505
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:09,680
Speaker 1: Hundreds in a tiny, tiny space in Caurter County eight

506
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 1: thousand in the state of Tennessee.

507
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 3: Why what are the before we move forward? I think

508
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 3: it's important to understand, and you have to understand it

509
00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:24,119
Speaker 3: now as a results of the time you've spent doing this.

510
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 3: What are the circumstances that in idyllic places like that,

511
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:35,200
Speaker 3: even places like that that have unbelievable community and care

512
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 3: and culture, what are the circumstances that a kid gets

513
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 3: taken from a parent there? I mean, I've heard of

514
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 3: the stories of rural area of problems with meth and

515
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:50,160
Speaker 3: other things. But give us a sense of what that

516
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,080
Speaker 3: looks like before I do.

517
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:53,680
Speaker 1: I want to think about one thing you just said,

518
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 1: because I just remember this, Like, so we go to

519
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:58,720
Speaker 1: these classes and we're hearing about these children, and you

520
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:00,679
Speaker 1: keep in mind, it's been ideal for me, and all

521
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 1: my friends look like me, and all their kids look

522
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,119
Speaker 1: like mine, and we have monogram things, and we go

523
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,320
Speaker 1: to these lavish birthday parties, and that is the community.

524
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:08,600
Speaker 4: I know.

525
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:11,320
Speaker 1: Black and orange on Friday night, like that's a community

526
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:12,520
Speaker 1: I know. And there was this.

527
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 2: Route that I would run.

528
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:17,119
Speaker 1: And walk every day, and I would see these houses,

529
00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 1: I'd see my friends. After I took those classes, I

530
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,880
Speaker 1: did that same loop and I saw children I had

531
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,040
Speaker 1: never seen.

532
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,560
Speaker 4: Before, just walked by them.

533
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,359
Speaker 2: They weren't new. My eyes were different.

534
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 4: They were just invisible to you.

535
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 1: Then, my community has two very different sides to it,

536
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:38,439
Speaker 1: and you can choose to stay over here, you know,

537
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 1: with the comfort and the safe, and we felt like

538
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 1: we got.

539
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,159
Speaker 2: Thrust to the other side of the tracks.

540
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 1: But they're the same children going to the same schools

541
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:49,000
Speaker 1: and the same soccer teams and the same the same children.

542
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,200
Speaker 2: Anyway, that just hit me when you said that, I thought,

543
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:51,880
Speaker 2: I remember that.

544
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:56,200
Speaker 3: No, that's that's as I was reading your story, That's

545
00:25:56,920 --> 00:26:01,400
Speaker 3: what I was envisioning. What are those circumstances that those

546
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:02,480
Speaker 3: children are living in.

547
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:09,680
Speaker 1: Generational poverty is huge, huge I learned through this process.

548
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:12,199
Speaker 1: You know, there are people that are too poor to

549
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,600
Speaker 1: go to Walmart. I don't think I ever knew that.

550
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:18,920
Speaker 1: Maybe that's embarrassing to admit, but it's true, Like in

551
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 1: my community, you know, like there is generational poverty in

552
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:31,160
Speaker 1: Northeast Tennessee, and there there's myth opioids, drugs galore, you know,

553
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 1: Mountain City, everywhere, there's just drugs. And I think it's

554
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,160
Speaker 1: I think it's like I think there's tons of lack

555
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 1: of education. So lack of education, poverty, drugs, and what

556
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:43,240
Speaker 1: I've learned.

557
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 4: Crime crime In that interesting you just said, let's repeat

558
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:56,159
Speaker 4: those four things. Lack of education, poverty, drugs, crime. You

559
00:26:56,160 --> 00:27:01,000
Speaker 4: could say that about South Memphis. The point is doesn't

560
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 4: matter where you're from. This exists around us, everywhere in our.

561
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:04,960
Speaker 2: Country, everywhere.

562
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,919
Speaker 1: And that feels like Pandora's box that has been opened

563
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 1: to my eyes that sometimes I wish I could shut

564
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,000
Speaker 1: because it is everywhere.

565
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 4: And the devastating part of it is there are children

566
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:22,920
Speaker 4: who did not choose the zip code or dress at

567
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:25,879
Speaker 4: the time of their birth that get as infants plopped

568
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:30,560
Speaker 4: down into this chaos and what happens to them.

569
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,679
Speaker 1: They live that life and so that's all they know.

570
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,480
Speaker 1: And so then they have children who live that life

571
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 1: because it's all they know, you know what I mean,

572
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:41,880
Speaker 1: Like it's you can see it so clearly. I mean,

573
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 1: I meet bio moms and dads that have lost their children,

574
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,240
Speaker 1: and as I learned their story. They were in foster care,

575
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:50,680
Speaker 1: or they were raised where drugs were everywhere, or they

576
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,159
Speaker 1: were raised with you know, food insecurity, and they were

577
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 1: raised not knowing who was coming in that door that night,

578
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:58,200
Speaker 1: you know, like and now they have created that again

579
00:27:58,280 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 1: for their family.

580
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,040
Speaker 2: They didn't mean to all they knew, you know.

581
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:05,359
Speaker 1: And so it is this generational cycle that you see

582
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:08,119
Speaker 1: and every time you find a child at the at

583
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 1: the bottom of that.

584
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 4: And so how does how does a little girl end

585
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 4: up sleeping on the floor of what looks like a DMV?

586
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:18,080
Speaker 4: I'm asking? I mean, is it Mom Karen gets arrested

587
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:19,359
Speaker 4: and the kid doesn't where to go.

588
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 1: Mom has only been loved by abusive men who offer

589
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 1: drugs her whole life, and so when she's asked to

590
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 1: choose between her child and the one man she thinks

591
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:31,399
Speaker 1: loves her for the first time in her life, she

592
00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 1: chooses him.

593
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:36,400
Speaker 3: Really, So, not only does child grow up and all

594
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,480
Speaker 3: that chaos, they also grow up abandoned.

595
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:40,440
Speaker 1: And I mean, that's one scenario. I don't want to

596
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:44,120
Speaker 1: I get it, And I mean, but abandonment, neglect, Yeah,

597
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 1: and so I don't know what happened for that little girl,

598
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:50,720
Speaker 1: but I do know that neglect, abuse, those are.

599
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 2: The main reasons that we see children come into states custody.

600
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 4: Some would say, I'm gonna teat this one up for you, Okay, okay,

601
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:05,480
Speaker 4: I'm ready. Some would die. Some would question is it

602
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 4: really a God that would allow children to grow up

603
00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 4: like this? Oh?

604
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:13,680
Speaker 2: I've been there. I remember when we brought home our

605
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 2: first foster child, and I would rock him at night

606
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,200
Speaker 2: and I would sing to him, and then I would

607
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:23,800
Speaker 2: just cry because I thought how many more? Like I

608
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 2: can't bring them all home?

609
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 1: And I would get mad and I would yell at

610
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:29,480
Speaker 1: God and I would scream at God.

611
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:31,000
Speaker 4: But I was wrong.

612
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:33,480
Speaker 2: He is with them.

613
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 1: No, he doesn't want this for them, but he is there.

614
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:40,200
Speaker 1: He shows up all the time. I can't even tell

615
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 1: you the stories of the ways that I've seen God

616
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:42,440
Speaker 1: show up.

617
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you get people that.

618
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 1: I get the question. I absolutely get the question. And

619
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 1: I think he's big enough for us to ask it,

620
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 1: scream it, cuss it at him. He feels our pain too.

621
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 1: This is not the life he ever wanted either.

622
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 3: Okay, So we'll get to that first kid, but us there,

623
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 3: So you finish your eight weeks.

624
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 1: Well, there was a big moment a week seven Yeah, yeap,

625
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:08,040
Speaker 1: So I see, I find out that this is actually

626
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:11,760
Speaker 1: a thing, because when you're outside this world, you think

627
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 1: a child is removed, and you think, well, that's good.

628
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 2: Now they're safe.

629
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 1: Now they are just happy and clean and going to

630
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 1: school gay, you know, like that's what the rest of.

631
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 2: The world thinks.

632
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 1: But now I'm learning that a child is removed and

633
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 1: there's a gap, like there's this time, and sometimes it

634
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 1: could be lengthy, like it can be three days, two weeks,

635
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 1: eight hours, four I don't know. There's a gap between

636
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:37,600
Speaker 1: when that child is removed and when they find a

637
00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:38,160
Speaker 1: place for that.

638
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,480
Speaker 4: Child to go, meaning a foster home, yes, or a.

639
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:42,880
Speaker 2: Kinship placement which means a family member.

640
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:47,880
Speaker 3: And as the gap satisfied supposedly by these DMV type

641
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 3: places and the floors, you mean a kid could live

642
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:55,320
Speaker 3: in there alone, scared, cold, dirty for two weeks.

643
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 2: It's happened post twenty twenty.

644
00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:00,520
Speaker 4: But even okay, three days is still too much.

645
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 2: Twenty four hours time they've lost everything.

646
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:08,520
Speaker 4: And they're literally sleeping on the floor and nobody yeah wow, And.

647
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 1: So I'm all my mind is swirling. I'm sitting here.

648
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:12,960
Speaker 1: I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe that's

649
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:15,600
Speaker 1: the way this happens for a child. And then I

650
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 1: just kept seeing this six seven year old little girl,

651
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,040
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, it was just flooding. I

652
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 1: was like, she just lost her mama. She loves her mama,

653
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 1: no matter what her mama has done, she wants her mama,

654
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 1: and she was just told, you can't go to your mama.

655
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:29,960
Speaker 2: She just lost her home. Doesn't matter if we wouldn't

656
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 2: live there. She did, she lived there four hours ago.

657
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,240
Speaker 1: Like she lost all of her stuff except what can

658
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 1: be put in a black trash back.

659
00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:37,080
Speaker 2: I don't know if she did she have a cat?

660
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 2: Did she just lose her cat? Did she lose her dog?

661
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 4: Like?

662
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:41,960
Speaker 1: Did she have siblings that went somewhere else already that

663
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 1: she's been separated from? And is she going to school tomorrow?

664
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:47,040
Speaker 1: The only place that she feels safe and she has

665
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:48,160
Speaker 1: friends and a teacher that she.

666
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,520
Speaker 4: Loves, probably the only place she gets a good meal lunch.

667
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:54,520
Speaker 1: Everything about this child's life came crashing down, and that

668
00:31:54,600 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 1: child is now sitting in an office, confused, scared, tired, hungry.

669
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 2: Just waiting.

670
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 1: And don't get me wrong, caseworkers are doing their absolute best.

671
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 1: Caseworkers are doing a job in a place of business,

672
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 1: and now there's three children in their cubicle or in

673
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:16,280
Speaker 1: their conference room. And that's when I got mad at God.

674
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 1: And that's when I started yelling in my mind, how

675
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:24,840
Speaker 1: could you Like? That little girl is yours and you've

676
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:28,360
Speaker 1: let her stay on a floor, Like what are you doing?

677
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 2: Like how could you?

678
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:30,040
Speaker 4: Like?

679
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 1: Someone's got to help her, Someone has to tell her

680
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 1: that she's loved and that she can do this, and

681
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:36,960
Speaker 1: that she didn't have to be scared, and that there's

682
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:40,480
Speaker 1: like who's doing that for this child? And I was

683
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:46,800
Speaker 1: so mad and I heard these are my children?

684
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 2: What are you going to do?

685
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 1: And that made me matter because I thought, what am

686
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 1: I going to do? I'm being obedient. I came to

687
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 1: these during classes. I'm sitting here, I'm doing my part.

688
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 2: What are you doing?

689
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:00,760
Speaker 4: I tricked my husband into it where you weren't.

690
00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:04,719
Speaker 1: For me, Like here we are falling broken, We're ready,

691
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 1: Like we're doing all we can. I don't know what

692
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 1: you want from us, but we are doing all we can.

693
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,400
Speaker 1: I'm a cheer and dance coach. We're going to foster.

694
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 2: You need to fix.

695
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:16,480
Speaker 1: This was my answer in that conference turn to God.

696
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:22,120
Speaker 1: So I get being mad at God. We Kate, we Kate,

697
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:25,239
Speaker 1: We finished, wee Kate, and then we went back to

698
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 1: our life. And Corey had said, we accept one child,

699
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 1: like we are starting with one child, Ronda, We'll be

700
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 1: right back. Months would go by and they would call

701
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 1: for a siblings head of three, a siblings set of five.

702
00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:59,400
Speaker 2: And we didn't have a vehicle that could you.

703
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 4: Know, can you take a set meaning like higher family

704
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,880
Speaker 4: like siblings and they want to keep them together and

705
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:08,920
Speaker 4: you're like, no, we were.

706
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:08,880
Speaker 2: He said one.

707
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 1: But it would break my heart every time because I'm like,

708
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:15,040
Speaker 1: they're in an office, you know, and so.

709
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 4: Oh, you're envisioning what you visited week seven and you

710
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 4: know where these kids are. So you're desperate, but you

711
00:34:21,719 --> 00:34:23,839
Speaker 4: also know I can't do it.

712
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:25,959
Speaker 2: And so they kept calling for these big sibling sets.

713
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:26,960
Speaker 2: Corey had told me one.

714
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 1: And so I tell people the hardest part of this

715
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:32,080
Speaker 1: journey is I sold my car that I loved and

716
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 1: bought a.

717
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:37,160
Speaker 4: Minivan, a grocery getter.

718
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:39,960
Speaker 1: Yes, it's the hardest thing, God rescued, Thank God asked me,

719
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:42,440
Speaker 1: I bought a minivan because I thought there could be

720
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 1: more You know, like we're you know if they if

721
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:44,799
Speaker 1: you build it, they will come.

722
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 4: But land dark.

723
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:52,200
Speaker 1: So it actually was November of the next year, so

724
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:54,040
Speaker 1: November of twenty fifteen.

725
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 4: So you're almost a year.

726
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, And November fifth, three point thirty in the afternoon,

727
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,800
Speaker 1: was doing work with Sophie and Mac at the Kitchen

728
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:05,160
Speaker 1: Island and they called and they said a nine month

729
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:06,319
Speaker 1: old little boy needed a home.

730
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 4: Nine months it's one, and you're like one.

731
00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:13,279
Speaker 1: And so I said, well, ma'am, I'm going to have

732
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 1: to do something very uncharacteristic.

733
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:17,560
Speaker 2: And she was like, what's the heck? I need to

734
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:21,760
Speaker 2: ask my husband if this is okay. That's a good idea.

735
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:25,160
Speaker 1: And when I tell people this story, I tell people

736
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:26,960
Speaker 1: that I called Corey and said, tell me you'll love

737
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:30,719
Speaker 1: me no matter what, and I did. But the heart

738
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 1: of that conversation and the things that came after, so

739
00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:36,799
Speaker 1: I was like, I can't say yes if we're not

740
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 1: saying yes, Like there can't be a day when this

741
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,200
Speaker 1: is really hard and you look at me and say

742
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 1: you got us into this, and if that is where

743
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:47,840
Speaker 1: you are, that is fine. But we're if we say yesterday,

744
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:49,280
Speaker 1: we are saying.

745
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, because if the wheels come off and this

746
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 3: kid ends up being the second version of an exorcism.

747
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:58,360
Speaker 3: You don't want to blame, Yeah, Like we're going to

748
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:00,720
Speaker 3: be blamed together. This is god to be a weathing.

749
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:02,640
Speaker 3: We're a team that makes complete sense.

750
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:04,160
Speaker 2: And he said, I'm on my way.

751
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,880
Speaker 4: And so, wow, you have a really good husband.

752
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:08,800
Speaker 2: Was such a good hunty?

753
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:12,719
Speaker 4: You really did? You really do so? He said on

754
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:13,319
Speaker 4: my own wife.

755
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:17,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so he came home and Sophie was twelve

756
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:19,480
Speaker 1: at the time. She was over the moon because it

757
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:21,400
Speaker 1: was a baby. She was so excited about a baby.

758
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:23,960
Speaker 1: And Mac was nine, and we were walking out the

759
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 1: door and Mac said, is it a boy or a girl?

760
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:29,759
Speaker 1: And I said it's a little boy and he stopped. Now,

761
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 1: Mac is my calm in the storm. He's my peaceful

762
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:34,919
Speaker 1: He's the most obedient child you ever meet.

763
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:36,919
Speaker 2: And he stopped. He was like, I don't want him.

764
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:40,120
Speaker 4: I don't want the competition.

765
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:44,520
Speaker 1: There were no grandsons, there were no other boys, there

766
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,879
Speaker 1: were no nephews, like, it was all girls and Mac

767
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:50,160
Speaker 1: and I was like, dude.

768
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:52,120
Speaker 2: We said we're going to do this. We already said yes.

769
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:54,279
Speaker 1: He's like I don't want him. So now like there's

770
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:57,359
Speaker 1: this flood of mom guilt, you know, you know. So

771
00:36:57,400 --> 00:37:00,160
Speaker 1: Matt gets the guard, he's so mad. Sophie's excited where

772
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:02,799
Speaker 1: he is like nervouses. I'll get out and we get

773
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 1: in the car and I see a flyer under our

774
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:07,399
Speaker 1: windshiew wiper, like you're at one water or something.

775
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 2: We're in not a dropway like. So I get out

776
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:09,880
Speaker 2: of grab.

777
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:11,759
Speaker 1: It and I sit down, and the energy in the

778
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,440
Speaker 1: van was like and all of a sudden, I said.

779
00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:16,279
Speaker 2: Guys, we can do this, and they're like, what are

780
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:17,160
Speaker 2: you talking about? And I turn around.

781
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 1: This piece of paper on a good street. There's a penguin.

782
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:21,480
Speaker 1: It says, motivational penguin.

783
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:24,480
Speaker 2: You can do it. That was what was under our There.

784
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:28,480
Speaker 4: Was some dirty good duder or just do gooder. Lord,

785
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 4: my friend, there was a do gooder walking around the

786
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:35,400
Speaker 4: neighborhood putting penguins on everybody's Is that really.

787
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:36,760
Speaker 2: The motivational penguin?

788
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:40,840
Speaker 4: You can do it, a motivational penguin.

789
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 2: So we get our penguin.

790
00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 3: I don't even understand a motivational penguin up with that,

791
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,919
Speaker 3: I don't know. Somebody came over from the moth side

792
00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:51,839
Speaker 3: of the track and was very confused. I think put

793
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:54,240
Speaker 3: that on your windshield. But anyway, motivational.

794
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:56,400
Speaker 2: Taking a beautiful moment in I mean, I don't know.

795
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:59,320
Speaker 4: I just I don't understand it. But anyway, or ed

796
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:00,760
Speaker 4: we could do this feeling.

797
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:03,239
Speaker 2: We got this our motivation being when it sold us.

798
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:06,320
Speaker 1: And so we pull up and so this is the

799
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,680
Speaker 1: first time I've ever seen it seen removal a.

800
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:10,840
Speaker 2: From the poster parents side.

801
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:12,560
Speaker 1: And so we were instructed to go to the back

802
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 1: door because they were still family out front and they

803
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 1: were not happy, and so.

804
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 4: Because they'd taken the child.

805
00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:20,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, so we come around.

806
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:25,160
Speaker 3: Wow, So hang on, I'm sorry, the family losing or

807
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:27,680
Speaker 3: giving up the child is literally in the front of

808
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 3: the building with the family who is.

809
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:32,360
Speaker 4: Taking the child. Can that not get a little dangerous

810
00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 4: and contentious?

811
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:34,520
Speaker 2: I'm sure it can.

812
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:39,359
Speaker 4: Yikes. Yeah, that doesn't even seem like a really good

813
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:41,839
Speaker 4: process either to me, and.

814
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 2: I don't I mean, that was just our moment. Wow.

815
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:46,400
Speaker 3: Okay, So he pulled up to the back door. So

816
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 3: clearly this isn't a woman who gave her son up.

817
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 3: This is protective child Service someone going in and saying,

818
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:55,920
Speaker 3: you guys are doing everything wrong and this child cannot

819
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:57,680
Speaker 3: live in this environment, took the child.

820
00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,479
Speaker 2: This is not a matter of a moment not loving

821
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 2: her child. That's true.

822
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:00,960
Speaker 4: Wow.

823
00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:05,799
Speaker 1: Okay, So we pull up and we're getting this child

824
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:06,800
Speaker 1: out of the back door.

825
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:08,719
Speaker 2: You know, it kind of seems seedy, you know.

826
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:11,440
Speaker 1: And then it hits me, we don't have a car seat, Like,

827
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:14,320
Speaker 1: we don't had a baby in our home in nine years.

828
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 1: And I'm like, we don't have a car seat. They're like, oh, well,

829
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,080
Speaker 1: we've got one you can borrow, just bring it back tomorrow.

830
00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:22,360
Speaker 1: And so it's this dirty car seat, you know, and

831
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,960
Speaker 1: so we grab that and then I'm like, why is

832
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:26,799
Speaker 1: his outfit so small? Because it was like skin tight

833
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:28,279
Speaker 1: on him. And they were like, well, his outfit he

834
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:30,680
Speaker 1: was wearing was so filthy. We had to throw it away.

835
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,440
Speaker 1: And we try to bathe him and our drug testing sink.

836
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:36,040
Speaker 1: But when you get him home, he desperately needs a bath.

837
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:38,920
Speaker 1: And then they handed me his one possession. It was

838
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 1: a dipper bag, and as I'm walking away, she says, oh,

839
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:42,960
Speaker 1: by the way, don't put that in your house for

840
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,200
Speaker 1: the next twelve to twenty four hours so the roaches

841
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:45,759
Speaker 1: will crawl out.

842
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:47,239
Speaker 4: That is disgusting.

843
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 2: That is how it happens, And how old is this child?

844
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:51,040
Speaker 2: Nine months?

845
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:54,560
Speaker 3: How old DoD children when they get lice? I mean,

846
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 3: I would expect lice and all kinds of things in

847
00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:01,000
Speaker 3: a situation, but I'm just saying children and gin lots.

848
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:02,080
Speaker 2: Of children come in with life, Tess.

849
00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 1: But I mean this was like, I was so broken

850
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 1: hearted in that moment for him, Like you're nine months old,

851
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:11,880
Speaker 1: You've been bathed in a drug testing sink, you have

852
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:14,200
Speaker 1: nothing in the world but a borrowed outfit, You're being

853
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:17,360
Speaker 1: passed out of a back door, and you've done nothing wrong.

854
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 1: Like and then we go home and I'd made a

855
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:22,400
Speaker 1: quick call to a friend before I left. I was like,

856
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:23,800
Speaker 1: we've said yes to our first placement.

857
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 2: Say a prayer.

858
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:26,680
Speaker 1: Well, she said a prayer, but she got on the

859
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 1: phone and by the time we got home, there was

860
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 1: a family in our guest room putting up a crib.

861
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:35,839
Speaker 1: People were stopping by with high chairs, diapers, wipes, a baby, bath,

862
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:39,920
Speaker 1: baby just showing up at our house. And that's when

863
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 1: it hit me, like, how does a foster parent say

864
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:45,960
Speaker 1: yes if you don't have this kind of support Because

865
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:48,279
Speaker 1: we had nothing, We not had a nine month old baby,

866
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 1: We had nothing, but also if Isaiah's mom, that was

867
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:53,960
Speaker 1: the little boy's saying. If Isaiah's mom had had this

868
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:56,359
Speaker 1: kind of support, we wouldn't have Isaiah, you know, like

869
00:40:56,719 --> 00:41:00,560
Speaker 1: how important community is in that moment. But then also

870
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:02,359
Speaker 1: how do other people say yes? And so my mind

871
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:05,400
Speaker 1: was all over the place, like broken hearted for removal

872
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:07,480
Speaker 1: day for that child and what it looked like for him,

873
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 1: broken hearted for foster parents that want to say yes.

874
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:12,200
Speaker 1: But how do you go out and buy everything a

875
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:13,439
Speaker 1: nine month old needs at.

876
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:14,280
Speaker 2: A moment's notice?

877
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:17,040
Speaker 1: And there's a clothing stopping coming six weeks from now

878
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:20,000
Speaker 1: one hundred and twenty five dollars but the kid has nothing,

879
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:22,360
Speaker 1: So like, how do you do that as a foster parent?

880
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 1: Luckily we had community? And then also broken hearted for

881
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,560
Speaker 1: his mama, like she's living in that cycle that I

882
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:30,480
Speaker 1: described earlier.

883
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 2: She doesn't have people.

884
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:33,439
Speaker 1: She can call it a moment's notice and they show

885
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:35,239
Speaker 1: up with five hundred dollars to go to Target and

886
00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:36,160
Speaker 1: get anything the boy needs.

887
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 2: And here's a bed and here's a monitor and here like.

888
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:45,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, just just it's all so sad.

889
00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:49,640
Speaker 4: And Isaiah, I guess, gets a bath? He does?

890
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:50,960
Speaker 2: He does?

891
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:53,280
Speaker 4: How's mac at this point?

892
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:55,719
Speaker 2: He does not want to touch Isaiah.

893
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,440
Speaker 1: Yes, he says Isaiah, it's snotty and he does not

894
00:41:58,520 --> 00:41:59,719
Speaker 1: want to touch him or be near him.

895
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:01,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's still mad.

896
00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:07,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was mad too. It was the two week mark.

897
00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:09,000
Speaker 1: He was supposed to be going to school, and I

898
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:10,879
Speaker 1: was yelling Mac, we go, let's go, let's go, get

899
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:12,799
Speaker 1: you back back. I couldn't find him, and I went

900
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:14,719
Speaker 1: and was looking for him, and I found him in

901
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:17,600
Speaker 1: the crib with Isaiah holding Isaiah reading him a book.

902
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:21,439
Speaker 1: So at the two week mark, Matt cracked and he's

903
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:22,399
Speaker 1: been Bubba ever since.

904
00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:24,759
Speaker 4: So Ago sounds a lot like his dad.

905
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:29,920
Speaker 2: They're both really good man. They're both really good man. Yeah.

906
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 3: So where does this initial four way and foster care

907
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:37,800
Speaker 3: take you eventually with Isaiah?

908
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:42,360
Speaker 1: So, Isaiah was in our home through foster care from

909
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:47,960
Speaker 1: November of twenty fifteen until summer of twenty eighteen. Summer

910
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:52,160
Speaker 1: of twenty eighteen, his parental rights were terminated and we

911
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:56,120
Speaker 1: were actually allowed to adopt him in November National Adoption Month.

912
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:57,759
Speaker 1: November of twenty eighteen, Or.

913
00:42:57,840 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 4: Said you weren't adopting, That's what he said.

914
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 1: We not only adopted Isaiah, but in March of twenty seventeen.

915
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:08,040
Speaker 1: He had a full sibling brother that was born that

916
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:11,000
Speaker 1: came into custody at three weeks old, and so Eli

917
00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:14,719
Speaker 1: joined our family in twenty seventeen because Corey called the

918
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:18,240
Speaker 1: caseworker and said, we want that baby, and so Eli

919
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:20,239
Speaker 1: came to us and we were able to adopt them

920
00:43:20,239 --> 00:43:22,040
Speaker 1: both in November of twenty eighteen.

921
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 4: Wow, and they are now your children.

922
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 1: Isaiah is nine. I tell people he's everything a redhead

923
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:32,880
Speaker 1: should be.

924
00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:34,719
Speaker 4: He's red headed, he's redheaded.

925
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:40,799
Speaker 1: I'm sure, passionate what we think. He feels everything deeply.

926
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:45,960
Speaker 1: And then Eli is seven and cut just a little

927
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:47,799
Speaker 1: dimple ever, and yeah, do.

928
00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:51,120
Speaker 4: They know the circumstances under which they became your children.

929
00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 1: They do what they can understand, you know, I'm trying

930
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:58,040
Speaker 1: to keep it very age appropriate. They know that there

931
00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 1: were two parents that loved them very much, because they

932
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:03,479
Speaker 1: didn't but that they were sick, that's what we say

933
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:07,399
Speaker 1: right now, and they couldn't get better. And so then

934
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:09,680
Speaker 1: we were asked if we would be there forever mommy

935
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:12,480
Speaker 1: and daddy, and we were so excited, and so we

936
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:14,960
Speaker 1: said we would love to be there forever mommy and daddy.

937
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,960
Speaker 1: And so you had two parents that you know you

938
00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:19,880
Speaker 1: were born to and they loved you very much, and

939
00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:22,000
Speaker 1: they have two parents that get to be your parents forever,

940
00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:24,000
Speaker 1: and we love you very much, and so you're.

941
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:24,960
Speaker 2: Very lucky little boys.

942
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:28,080
Speaker 4: Does that create confusion? You know?

943
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:31,040
Speaker 2: Kids amaze me, Kids amazing. We had this moment.

944
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:33,440
Speaker 1: We go to Hilton Head every summer and we were

945
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:35,840
Speaker 1: standing in the ocean and Isaiah turned to me.

946
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 2: He goes, what did I look like when I was

947
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:38,280
Speaker 2: in your belly?

948
00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:39,719
Speaker 4: Wow?

949
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:43,240
Speaker 1: And I said, no, remember, buddy, you weren't in my belly.

950
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:46,200
Speaker 1: And I named his mother and I said, you were

951
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:50,560
Speaker 1: in so and So's belly. Huh No, Remember you were

952
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:51,440
Speaker 1: in her belly.

953
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:53,880
Speaker 2: And I was like, and I can't. I can't explain this,

954
00:44:54,040 --> 00:44:55,719
Speaker 2: and we'll have to ask God when we meet him.

955
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:58,160
Speaker 2: But this is what I know to be true. She

956
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:00,839
Speaker 2: was supposed to have you and I I was supposed.

957
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:01,040
Speaker 4: To be your mama.

958
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:04,319
Speaker 2: This was not a mistake. This is your story. And

959
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:06,680
Speaker 2: I was supposed to be your mama. And he said

960
00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:09,400
Speaker 2: there a minute, he goes, I love God. I was like,

961
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 2: I do too.

962
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:16,200
Speaker 4: Wow.

963
00:45:16,239 --> 00:45:20,400
Speaker 3: And that concludes part one of my conversation with Rhnda

964
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:25,240
Speaker 3: Pauson and Guys, don't miss Part two. It's now available

965
00:45:25,239 --> 00:45:27,880
Speaker 3: to listen to as we're about to dive into the

966
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:32,960
Speaker 3: incredible story of Isaiah one point seventeen house. Together, guys,

967
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:36,160
Speaker 3: we can change this country, but it's going to start

968
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:36,680
Speaker 3: with you.

969
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 4: I'll see you in Part two.