1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,000 Speaker 1: Coming up at forty one after the hour. Steve Harvey's 2 00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:09,119 Speaker 1: bad acting theaters back The Chapman's on tap. They're coming up. 3 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:14,000 Speaker 1: You better say that Jay Anthony Brown, the writer of 4 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:17,640 Speaker 1: The Chapman's. But right now it is time for today's 5 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter, and if you need advice on relationships, on dating, 6 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:24,560 Speaker 1: on work, on sex, on parenting, and more, please submit 7 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,520 Speaker 1: your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM dot com and 8 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:38,519 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter, write Steve, yea yea, and not 9 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:42,000 Speaker 1: with you time. We got it for you here It 10 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:45,879 Speaker 1: is the Strawberry Letter. Thank you. Nev. Subject my marriage 11 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 1: is stable but stale. Dear Stephen Shirley, I have a 12 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:53,320 Speaker 1: testimony and I need some solid advice. In the past, 13 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,000 Speaker 1: my husband was a scam artist and I am an 14 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:59,240 Speaker 1: ex stripper and call girl. We both got caught up 15 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:02,040 Speaker 1: and ended up doing time, and our family took care 16 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:05,600 Speaker 1: of our children. I got I got released from prison first, 17 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,960 Speaker 1: and I started to rebuild our lives. When he got out, 18 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:12,360 Speaker 1: I put him through school. After that, I continued my 19 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:15,679 Speaker 1: education and now we make decent money and have a 20 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:19,200 Speaker 1: stable home life. My husband used to be a natural hustler, 21 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,959 Speaker 1: but now he does not share my desire to work 22 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,600 Speaker 1: hard and earn more money. Besides that, he has gained 23 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:29,360 Speaker 1: one hundred pounds and has turned into a couch potato. 24 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:32,720 Speaker 1: I am stuck being the dreamer, the planner, the motivator, 25 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:36,759 Speaker 1: and the brains. But my problem gets deeper. The worst 26 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,560 Speaker 1: part is our sex life. In the past, I was 27 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:43,000 Speaker 1: used to getting gratification from multiple men, and now I'm 28 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:46,320 Speaker 1: not getting my itch properly scratched. I could step out 29 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,960 Speaker 1: and get great sex from other men, but I have 30 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 1: a conscience. I don't want to keep on being miserable 31 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:55,720 Speaker 1: in this marriage with mediocre income and sex. I have 32 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:58,520 Speaker 1: talked to my husband about the sex and he apologized 33 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 1: for not being able to satisfy me, and that was it. 34 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 1: So what am I supposed to do? Do I leave 35 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,920 Speaker 1: and start over, taking the kids away from their stable 36 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 1: home with your father? Or should I go ahead and 37 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 1: cheat on my husband and stay in this stale marriage. 38 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:19,240 Speaker 1: I know I can, I can tell your torn I 39 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 1: think you know. But oh good and and I can't 40 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:33,239 Speaker 1: wait to hear yours. Thank you? Oh oh oh, it 41 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,120 Speaker 1: sounds like you want to talk to her. Okay, here 42 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:38,160 Speaker 1: we go. These are questions really, only you can answer. 43 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 1: I mean, seriously, you've been in this marriage for a while. Uh, 44 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:46,400 Speaker 1: you guys have a sorted past scam artists, uh, stripper 45 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 1: call girl all that. But um, you know you did 46 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 1: you paid your dues, you did your time, and now, 47 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,240 Speaker 1: like you say, you're rebuilding your lives, which is a 48 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:58,160 Speaker 1: good thing. Everyone deserves a second chance. Now, you put 49 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:00,639 Speaker 1: your husband through school, so he hasn't a ucation, there's 50 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,520 Speaker 1: no excuse for him not working. Um, and then you 51 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 1: continue do yours. You make decent money. Now you have 52 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:10,200 Speaker 1: a stable home life. But your your your husband sounds 53 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:13,680 Speaker 1: like he's just not happy, this natural hustler in him. Uh, 54 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:16,400 Speaker 1: he's not happy. So he gained a hundred pounds, he's 55 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,480 Speaker 1: turned into a couch potato, and now the sex is horrible. 56 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:22,600 Speaker 1: You're saying again, these are questions only you can answer. 57 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,880 Speaker 1: Should you leave him? The question to you is what 58 00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 1: do you want? I mean, really, what do you want? 59 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 1: You can have what you want, but you can't change 60 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:33,520 Speaker 1: anyone but yourself in this situation. If you want to 61 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 1: stay there, you gotta deal with trying to get your 62 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:39,920 Speaker 1: husband out of this funk or helping him get back 63 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 1: on the right track. If he's gained a hundred pounds, 64 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 1: you know, start meal planning, helping him do things like that, 65 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,040 Speaker 1: work out things like that, find out what's going on 66 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 1: with him, go to the doctor why the weight gang 67 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 1: talk to him about it. When you did talk to 68 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:54,960 Speaker 1: him about it, you said, he just answered you or 69 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:58,080 Speaker 1: apologize and nothing happened. I say, that's if you want 70 00:03:58,080 --> 00:03:59,880 Speaker 1: to stay with him, if you love him and all that. 71 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 1: But if not, if you want to walk, you know, 72 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 1: that's what you're gonna have to do, because it doesn't 73 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,080 Speaker 1: sound like he's interested in the marriage. Only you can 74 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 1: make this, make this change. If you feel like your 75 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 1: marriage is worth fighting for and you'll have something after 76 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,200 Speaker 1: you fight, then you stay. If not, you're gonna have 77 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:18,839 Speaker 1: to walk. Steve, I don't really want to answer this 78 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:24,760 Speaker 1: now my whole answer. I want to take a whole 79 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:28,560 Speaker 1: another approach. A matter of fact, let me just say, 80 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,000 Speaker 1: Shirley gave you the best advice you can get. Now 81 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,479 Speaker 1: let me just do what I want to do. Just 82 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:38,960 Speaker 1: do it. You don't need permission. I have a testimony. 83 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:43,919 Speaker 1: Testimonies are normally given in church. You bypassed the church 84 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:47,560 Speaker 1: part because y'all probably don't know where the church at 85 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:53,400 Speaker 1: that because of their past. Well in the past, my 86 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:56,920 Speaker 1: husband was a scam artist. I'm an ex stripper and 87 00:04:57,040 --> 00:05:03,719 Speaker 1: a call girl. Um. We both got caught up and 88 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 1: he ended up doing time and our family took care 89 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 1: of our kids. I got released from prison, first started 90 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:12,040 Speaker 1: to rebuild our lives. When he got out, I put 91 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:15,279 Speaker 1: him through school. After that, I continue my education and 92 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:18,039 Speaker 1: now we make decent money and have a stable home life. 93 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:22,920 Speaker 1: That's good. People are allowed to make mistakes in recover. Congratulations. 94 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 1: My husband used to be a natural hustler, but now 95 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:29,039 Speaker 1: he does not share my desire to work hard and 96 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,480 Speaker 1: every more money. Besides that, he has gained one hundred 97 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:36,440 Speaker 1: pounds and turned into a couch potato. All right, let's 98 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:41,800 Speaker 1: start here. The reason he didn't gain this hunted pounds, 99 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:47,200 Speaker 1: it is because he stopped scamming. That's all it is. 100 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:54,159 Speaker 1: He was busy, his hands was getting around, he was 101 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:57,000 Speaker 1: on his feet, and it's hard to gain weight when 102 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 1: you scared because you don't all as much food. When 103 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:06,040 Speaker 1: he's scared, scam and asked, was on edge all day. 104 00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 1: He was just like a little crackhead, just nervous man, 105 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:17,800 Speaker 1: slim in shape, fast talking, went to prison. He don't 106 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,000 Speaker 1: want to go back to prison. So now even stayed 107 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:24,720 Speaker 1: his ass on that couch and picked up a hunted Now, 108 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:27,560 Speaker 1: Shirley said, get on the meal plan. A hundred is 109 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:34,560 Speaker 1: too five. He know what you know here, damn couch potato. 110 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:39,040 Speaker 1: He's a potato couch. He's a sack of potatoes. He's 111 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:43,240 Speaker 1: a whole bunch of potatoes. He's one fat ass breaked potato. 112 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:48,440 Speaker 1: Because he done. He's sitting on that couch with that 113 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:54,039 Speaker 1: dry ass life. He don't know what to do. Hell yeah, 114 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,120 Speaker 1: I used to be married to a striple and a 115 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:59,599 Speaker 1: call girl, and I was a stone cold hustle. You know. 116 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 1: Set a here took as stupid as to school, mess around, 117 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 1: got a damn education. How we think we're some damn 118 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:13,080 Speaker 1: suburbing people. I don't want this. Where are my scams 119 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:18,400 Speaker 1: at the weigh? More fun that we ain't here punching 120 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 1: clocks going to work? Man, I'm eating picked up a 121 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:29,560 Speaker 1: hunted Oh. Man, Now, this lady says, she's stuck being 122 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 1: the dream of the plan of the motivator and the 123 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:38,080 Speaker 1: brains you left out, you to cook and you the 124 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:41,600 Speaker 1: personal shopping. All right, Hold it right there, Steve hold 125 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,880 Speaker 1: it right there. Today's Strawberry letter, the subject my marriage 126 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:50,720 Speaker 1: is stable but still yeah, still, because ain't nothing happening 127 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:54,480 Speaker 1: no more? Because according to him, the way he acted, 128 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,400 Speaker 1: he had a good life. He just messed up and 129 00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:01,040 Speaker 1: got caught. But that prison out this ass down a 130 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,560 Speaker 1: little bit. He ain't trying to go back in there, 131 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:08,080 Speaker 1: so the player is safe. Can't scam from this couch 132 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:14,520 Speaker 1: as right here, come out of here, listening to the universe. 133 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:18,720 Speaker 1: When I went to school, I should have been out scamming. 134 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:21,000 Speaker 1: I'm in nice school trying to get it. Damn g 135 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:27,000 Speaker 1: D the hell I need that for I want the 136 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,440 Speaker 1: top scam artists in the country. Now I'm just sitting 137 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:33,440 Speaker 1: up here with my fat qui. All I do is 138 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:35,760 Speaker 1: eat baked potatoes. Now you wanna call me a couch 139 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:44,680 Speaker 1: pretender pertained chips. No, I'm not really trying to help him, sure, 140 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:49,120 Speaker 1: but my problem gets deeper. The worst part is our 141 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:52,640 Speaker 1: sex life. In the past, I was used to getting 142 00:08:52,640 --> 00:09:00,240 Speaker 1: gratification from multiple men. Damn that sounds nasty, but okay though, 143 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 1: and now I'm not getting my itch properly. Scratch. Try 144 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:08,680 Speaker 1: not to call it edge because you need multiple men 145 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:18,120 Speaker 1: and you started itching that ain't necessarily start. I know 146 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:19,720 Speaker 1: if I've ever been with a lot of women and 147 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,560 Speaker 1: I started it, and I would go down to the 148 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:26,560 Speaker 1: clinic because sometimes you ain't got to get your itch scratch. 149 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:30,559 Speaker 1: You got to get your itch taken care of immediately. 150 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:34,880 Speaker 1: As some damn pendicella. You know, I hope it's just 151 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,640 Speaker 1: a itch because they got something. Now, I ain't know 152 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 1: pendicella fall. So now I'm doing you. I didn't want 153 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:46,560 Speaker 1: to do this letter. The worst part is our sex life. 154 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:49,920 Speaker 1: I couldn't step out and get some great sex from 155 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,840 Speaker 1: other men. Well guess what you will be then though, 156 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:59,559 Speaker 1: you're bout to be in the car girl and the 157 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:04,880 Speaker 1: stru Boh, yeah, you don't want that, Lady, don't do that, 158 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:07,760 Speaker 1: she said. But I have a conscious and that's good. 159 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,880 Speaker 1: I don't want to keep on being miserable in this 160 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:15,200 Speaker 1: marriage with mediocre income and sex. See, fat boy ain't 161 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:18,240 Speaker 1: what he used to do. Let's just break it down. 162 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,480 Speaker 1: It's fatter assing got up and he got that hunted 163 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:30,240 Speaker 1: on it. But love making got to be stressful. His 164 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:32,640 Speaker 1: big ass up here ain't making no money in some 165 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:36,160 Speaker 1: side sex and the something got to have if you're 166 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:40,640 Speaker 1: gonna have. Sorry, sex and leaders let her go shopping. Yeah, 167 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 1: at least let her go shop. What you can't do 168 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:47,120 Speaker 1: is be sitting up in there complaining. And then when 169 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 1: she asked you about to sex, your response is I'm sorry, 170 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:56,040 Speaker 1: I'm sill, sorry, but I ain't gonna do nothing about it. 171 00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:00,160 Speaker 1: I got this extra hundred on me what you want 172 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 1: me to do? So I was not gonna be good 173 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 1: with this letter. I knew it when I read it. Uh, 174 00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:09,880 Speaker 1: miserable in this mediocre marriage with sex and income. I've 175 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:13,400 Speaker 1: talked to my husband about to here apologize. So what 176 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:16,040 Speaker 1: am I supposed to do? Do I leave and start over, 177 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,440 Speaker 1: taking the kids away from the stable home and their father. No, 178 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:23,120 Speaker 1: don't do that. Don't do that. Or should I go 179 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,040 Speaker 1: ahead and cheat on my husband and stay in this 180 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:29,840 Speaker 1: stale man. Well, here's a suggestion that might be able 181 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:32,480 Speaker 1: to kill two birds with one stone. You could get 182 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:35,679 Speaker 1: your husband back off the couch by getting him back 183 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:40,880 Speaker 1: into the hustle game. Uh, that's when he went to 184 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:45,160 Speaker 1: jail for now, But this time he hustling and scamming. 185 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:48,520 Speaker 1: What do you do he working with you to scratch 186 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:52,720 Speaker 1: your with Let him go out and get to me 187 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 1: and that you need to be satisfied and then let 188 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 1: him have a cut. Then he'll feel better like he 189 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:08,960 Speaker 1: back hustle, you get all that scratch out the way, 190 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,880 Speaker 1: you'll be back in business. But you have a conscience. 191 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,520 Speaker 1: But if he gives you the permission to do what 192 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:21,880 Speaker 1: you could do it. I don't like this. I'm good 193 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 1: with it. But they but the dude then gave up. Yes, 194 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:31,920 Speaker 1: a hundred pounds a lot, that's a lot, farty, you 195 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:35,920 Speaker 1: make a comeback a hunted. But where was she? Yeah 196 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 1: when he gained the first or bad or fifty or fifty? Yeah, 197 00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:48,199 Speaker 1: she was looking at him at fifty. Okay, don't you 198 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:51,600 Speaker 1: get out of jail you'd be ripped. Yeah for Wow, 199 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,160 Speaker 1: you ain't nothing to do in jail. Butt lift weights? 200 00:12:56,840 --> 00:13:02,800 Speaker 1: You ain't over eating it now and it's not healthy right, Oh, 201 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:06,160 Speaker 1: they ain't got nothing healthy for you. Ain't no gluten free. 202 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,040 Speaker 1: You may get top running in the sink. You can't 203 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:16,680 Speaker 1: gain no weight over that man and not at home? Yeah, 204 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,480 Speaker 1: I mean only these are questions only she can answer. 205 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,040 Speaker 1: She wants to stay. She's you know, do I leave 206 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:24,960 Speaker 1: and start over, taking the kids away from the stable 207 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:28,000 Speaker 1: home with their father. I would say no to that. 208 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:30,680 Speaker 1: Or should I go ahead and cheat on my husband 209 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:34,680 Speaker 1: and see her options is if I stay with him, 210 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:37,240 Speaker 1: Because I said stay with him and don't take the 211 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:40,160 Speaker 1: kids with when they stay home. All her answer is, 212 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,120 Speaker 1: if I stay with him, I'm gonna have to cheat 213 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:46,920 Speaker 1: on him. Yeah, that's all that. That's her response. So 214 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:50,160 Speaker 1: now I'm telling her include him in the cheating. All right, 215 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:54,560 Speaker 1: we gotta got email us or Instagram. That's your thoughts 216 00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:57,600 Speaker 1: on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey f M and 217 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:01,240 Speaker 1: at My Girls. Sureley, you're listening to the same Harday 218 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:01,839 Speaker 1: Morning show.