Speaker 1: Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.
Speaker 2: She cooked, she cleaned, cared for her children and the
Speaker 2: man of the house, and of course she didn't talk back.
Speaker 1: She was both obedient and soft by nature. She was
Speaker 1: a good woman who always made good choices. We're good
Speaker 1: mom's bad choices.
Speaker 2: Whose single mom?
Speaker 1: Who said? But the patriarchy shared all.
Speaker 2: Their bad choices and found out they were so bad
Speaker 2: after all. We're experts overhairs and your new besties.
Speaker 1: Sit back and hear the ride I can do. I
Speaker 1: welcome back to good Mom's bad choices. I'm Erica and
Speaker 1: I'm Mila. Happy hump Day, which is happy.
Speaker 2: Good Mom's Day, which is also hump day because we'd
Speaker 2: be humping' that's whatever. Mom's welcome to our shaw. We're
Speaker 2: the moms that'd be humping.
Speaker 1: I'm not doing any humping. I'm solibate again.
Speaker 2: Okay, are you celibate until further notice? Or you just celibate?
Speaker 2: I mean, I guess what do you mean?
Speaker 1: What like, I'm never having sex ever?
Speaker 2: In cell?
Speaker 1: Celibate? You know what in cell means? Well, that's not noting.
Speaker 1: They call the niggas that don't get no pussy, but
Speaker 1: you know what it means, though, I don't want to
Speaker 1: be nothing about what. I don't want to no, inel nothing.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying that because I don't think a lot
Speaker 2: of people realize, but in cell means because I didn't
Speaker 2: realize in cell means involuntarily celibate.
Speaker 1: Nothing about how I look is involuntarily celibated.
Speaker 2: Well, if you, I'm okay, I'm saying, are you just
Speaker 2: selivent because they are few and far between?
Speaker 1: Are you celibate because you just don't want have sex
Speaker 1: until everywhere? I just don't want any of them.
Speaker 2: You know, there are niggas everywhere, and they have penises
Speaker 2: and they're available, But do we want those penises in
Speaker 2: our vaginas? No, the eligible penises are few and far between.
Speaker 2: You know what I realized about the in cels and
Speaker 2: the voluntary sellibants and the women and the men and
Speaker 2: the men in the comments because the comments are crazy.
Speaker 2: I realized that the men don't even realize that bitches
Speaker 2: are not even fucking with them anymore because they're in cells.
Speaker 2: They don't like they were never eligible anyway. And like
Speaker 2: everybody's always talking about the birth rate dropping, and I'm like, duh,
Speaker 2: because nobody was up sex with.
Speaker 1: You because you're disgusting.
Speaker 2: I realized if I didn't have Orlando, I definitely would
Speaker 2: find a way back to lesbianism because.
Speaker 1: They're so underwhelming.
Speaker 2: And if you're a man listening to this and you're offended,
Speaker 2: then you need to wake the fuck up, because you know,
Speaker 2: nine out of ten of your homeboys are not fuckable.
Speaker 1: Maybe I don't know if men are looking at their
Speaker 1: men and no men, oh okay, maybe not what bro,
Speaker 1: You're not fuckable?
Speaker 2: Maybe not fuckable, But you know, if you're one smart
Speaker 2: man in a group of ten, you know if your
Speaker 2: homeboy is the homeboy that repels all the women.
Speaker 1: You know, if your homeboy says some shit.
Speaker 2: And you're like, likes, but you don't have to deal
Speaker 2: with it as a fucking romantic partner, so you just
Speaker 2: accept it. Niggas who act like you don't know what
Speaker 2: we're talking about when we choose the bear, stop acting
Speaker 2: like you don't know what we're talking about when we
Speaker 2: choose the bear. And that's my issue is like men
Speaker 2: is like, oh you hate men? No, nigga, do you
Speaker 2: see the era of men right now? They're raping and
Speaker 2: poisoning and being weird, so like, don't be surprised when
Speaker 2: there's no more kids in the world because bitches are like,
Speaker 2: we're good.
Speaker 1: I agree. I do have to say I think that
Speaker 1: the era of men has been this way for a
Speaker 1: very long time. But I will say that I think
Speaker 1: there is a there's more men than in the past
Speaker 1: actually trying to be better, mostly because of the Internet
Speaker 1: and mostly because of access to seeing other men leading
Speaker 1: the way of like being more vulnerable, being more loving
Speaker 1: to themselves, being more loving to women. I don't want
Speaker 1: to say like I think that this has been the
Speaker 1: era for I think we're living in an era of
Speaker 1: generally like what it has been. It's just now people
Speaker 1: have cell phones and keyboards and we're starting to see
Speaker 1: people's opinions. This fucking earring, I swear to I saw
Speaker 1: that use a little cushion. I used a beauty blender.
Speaker 1: I used the tip of a beauty blender to try
Speaker 1: to fuck it and secure this earring in my ear.
Speaker 1: And now it doesn't want to stay. I'm taking it out.
Speaker 2: I would say yes, and I do think the Internet
Speaker 2: and social media has been no not highlighted, increasingly made
Speaker 2: men worse because they don't have to go outside and play.
Speaker 2: They don't have to go and touch grass. And there's
Speaker 2: porn and there has unlimited access to pussy but not pussy.
Speaker 2: So the like the less access to real pussy and
Speaker 2: real interactions with women and like real rejection that you
Speaker 2: have to like build the the like the tenacity to
Speaker 2: keep going has like depleted.
Speaker 1: It's gone.
Speaker 2: So now they just hate women and they're in but
Speaker 2: they like love port.
Speaker 1: It's I don't know, I hate it's always been. I
Speaker 1: just think it's that they have language. It's like they
Speaker 1: have language for their hate. Now. I don't think the
Speaker 1: uneducated ones they just see memes and then they see
Speaker 1: people talk and then they say that's what I meant.
Speaker 2: But listen to the music the men have, like the
Speaker 2: music even hates women more. It's like it progressively, Like
Speaker 2: I don't think like I think the patriarchy. I was
Speaker 2: thinking about this last night. I have do thoughts at night.
Speaker 2: I feel like the patriarchy is at a place where
Speaker 2: they thought that being patriarchal was going to like put
Speaker 2: them at the top. But now we're seeing that the
Speaker 2: patriarchy is now harming them and they don't even realize it.
Speaker 2: But they have been so like they've been so oh no,
Speaker 2: stop calling me. They have been so suppressed, like they're patriarchy.
Speaker 2: They thought they're going to be at the top, but
Speaker 2: they're like, all you can do is provide and protect,
Speaker 2: don't show a lot of emotions. Don't do this. I
Speaker 2: saw this clip. Somebody think of this. I saw this
Speaker 2: clip of Funky Diva. Funky Diva. You know, I don't know.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm talking about. Funk Cameron. No, is
Speaker 2: that Cam Newton? No, not him, not Funky Diva. He's
Speaker 2: a gay guy. Hold on, let me show you. And
Speaker 2: what he said was and this was really telling to me.
Speaker 2: He said that he feels like he's a gay man.
Speaker 2: He feels like straight man are jealous of gay black men.
Speaker 2: Straight black men are jealous of gay black men because
Speaker 2: they see gay black men be able to show up
Speaker 2: in bright colors and expressive and showing themselves and being this.
Speaker 2: He's like, I would never want to be a straight
Speaker 2: man because they got so many rules. They can't eat bananas,
Speaker 2: they can't do this, they can't do this. And I
Speaker 2: was like, damn, that's true. Like imagine existence as a man,
Speaker 2: especially as a black man. He said there's like, no
Speaker 2: other group of people has as many rules and regulations
Speaker 2: as black men. And that's true, and it's like a
Speaker 2: lot of it has been self imposed, but also imposed
Speaker 2: in a way that we didn't realize. It's the system
Speaker 2: imposing it on us. So now they think everything's fucking gay.
Speaker 2: Everything's gay, like you said, eating a banana and no
Speaker 2: homo this, whatever, this, And it's like, if you create
Speaker 2: a world where you can only exist in two colors,
Speaker 2: gray and fucking black, then you dim your own light
Speaker 2: and you suppress your own feelings. And now we're seeing
Speaker 2: a world where that suppression is like like backfiring on them.
Speaker 2: So now they're angry, they're sad, they're frustrated, and they
Speaker 2: don't have words for it because they've told themselves that
Speaker 2: they can only show up in these ways. And now
Speaker 2: the women are growing, We're like, fuck y'all, we don't
Speaker 2: really need y'all. We have a rose, we have our homegirls,
Speaker 2: we have a career, we have education, and they're feeling
Speaker 2: left behind without the language to say I'm sad.
Speaker 1: I don't know why.
Speaker 2: I've been sad for twenty years, but I haven't been
Speaker 2: able to say it. And now like we're seeing the
Speaker 2: result of a deep patriarchal suppression of expression and now
Speaker 2: everybody is being fucked from it, including the United States.
Speaker 2: So when he said that, I was like, wow, I
Speaker 2: can't imagine a place where I had to suppress everything
Speaker 2: about myself, every imagination, Like it's like really suppressing the imagination.
Speaker 2: Can't wear this color, you can't do this, You can't
Speaker 2: do that, and then expecting people to love and respect
Speaker 2: me when I don't even understand my own feelings. So, yeah,
Speaker 2: I agree with Funky Deneva or whatever his name is.
Speaker 1: I agree too. I agree, And you know, unfortunately, you
Speaker 1: know a lot of that has to do with not
Speaker 1: it is the patriarchy, but it's whiteness. It's yeah, it's
Speaker 1: avery's slavery, and it's all of it. And that's why
Speaker 1: it's like I try as much as I know, like
Speaker 1: like a lot of these men are not I don't
Speaker 1: want to say they're not worth shit, because there's always
Speaker 1: the opportunity to change your perspective, but a lot of
Speaker 1: it is like the is guy, I don't know who
Speaker 1: that is. You've never seen that guy. I think we're
Speaker 1: on a different algorithm. You're on the other side of
Speaker 1: the algorithms.
Speaker 2: He's just a black like social hostess. He's been around
Speaker 2: for a long time.
Speaker 1: Okay, Anyway, I just hope. I hope for freedom in
Speaker 1: this in this month of Juneteenth, in this week of Juneteenth,
Speaker 1: I hope for freedom for black men in all, in
Speaker 1: all regards, whether you love men, whether you love women,
Speaker 1: I hope freedom for all of you. Because our freedom,
Speaker 1: our joy, is an active rebellion, and allowing women to
Speaker 1: be free generally benefits you.
Speaker 2: But that's what I realized that they're seeing, like especially us,
Speaker 2: they see women be free and speak their mind and
Speaker 2: be sexual and be sentual, and it repulses them because
Speaker 2: they're projecting because they are not able to show up.
Speaker 2: They're only able to show up in one way.
Speaker 1: Well, and also because they never saw their mother show
Speaker 1: up that way, so you know, they whatever they saw
Speaker 1: in their own household, they deem as respectable, they deem
Speaker 1: as that's how it's supposed to be, and so it's
Speaker 1: just perpetuated over and over and over and over again.
Speaker 1: So it's sad.
Speaker 2: It is sad, and I do think they're hating on
Speaker 2: us and they're mad at us because they don't realize
Speaker 2: it's because we show up it in like a versatile
Speaker 2: expressive way. I was also I saw this other girl.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you've heard of her something k media.
Speaker 2: She's like a singles expert or something. I don't know
Speaker 2: how either, but someone she's like a singles expert. She's
Speaker 2: like a million followers by a black lady, and she
Speaker 2: was commenting on Daphne's thing, like, oh, I saw the
Speaker 2: like the lingerie sexiness that she was posting before, and
Speaker 2: she's like I used to know her, and I I think,
Speaker 2: like I had to unfollow her because showing up this
Speaker 2: way like this is how you're gonna get ditties, this
Speaker 2: is how you're gonna get like this, and this is
Speaker 2: how you gonna be like this, like like an OnlyFans person,
Speaker 2: you're not gonna be respected or you're not gonna find
Speaker 2: a man.
Speaker 1: And I just.
Speaker 2: Realized, like the respectability politics around women is also very
Speaker 2: like pigeonholding, because like, since when do women see another
Speaker 2: woman showing up because they look sexy and wearing a
Speaker 2: little clothes and wearing lingerie. I mean, like the Internet
Speaker 2: is a new error, so it's like is it for attention?
Speaker 1: Is it for them? We'll never know. But who gives
Speaker 1: a fuck.
Speaker 2: Why are we judging another woman based on what the
Speaker 2: fuck she's wearing or if she's not only fans or
Speaker 2: if she is sucking dick.
Speaker 1: That's her fucking prerogative. But I just.
Speaker 2: Realized, like, as black people, there are so many rules
Speaker 2: about how we're supposed to show up and what is
Speaker 2: respectable and what is not. And I'm just like, I'm
Speaker 2: tired of it. Let bitches live, let niggas live, live,
Speaker 2: and let live. I agree, it makes me really sad.
Speaker 1: Well, no, I mean it should make you happy, because
Speaker 1: all you can do really is focus on your life
Speaker 1: and what you're doing and our lives and what we
Speaker 1: do perpetuate this idea that and allow other women and
Speaker 1: maybe even men to have permission to do the same,
Speaker 1: you know. I think that's why the work that we
Speaker 1: do is really important. I think that's why the community
Speaker 1: that we have is important, because there's a robust community
Speaker 1: that we have of women that are actively either already
Speaker 1: embodying it or trying to, you know, and that's how
Speaker 1: the healing starts. But it does take I mean, there's
Speaker 1: a lot of work to do. There's a lot and
Speaker 1: whenever I do see those comments like even under like
Speaker 1: you know, the comments that we had around this whole
Speaker 1: Sarah font and not thing, and and the women in
Speaker 1: the comments too, and the men in the comments too,
Speaker 1: and it's like, you, really, I think I'm so much
Speaker 1: sometimes in a bubble that that really exposes what the
Speaker 1: mindset of generally most people are and where most people
Speaker 1: are like reside in their lives.
Speaker 2: I realized that I'm like, oh, the majority of people
Speaker 2: are slow.
Speaker 1: Well, it's like, it's not even that they're slow. I didn't, Well,
Speaker 1: I guess I.
Speaker 2: Realized that like what we think is common sense, the
Speaker 2: way in which we think, like in a full spectrum
Speaker 2: of like just like I don't know what I think
Speaker 2: is common sense or step out of the box of
Speaker 2: like what is allowed. I realized that most people do
Speaker 2: not question the rules that are placed upon us. They
Speaker 2: just exist within them.
Speaker 1: No, they know. I was having this conversation with my
Speaker 1: dad the other day last night, actually, and my dad
Speaker 1: was pissing me the fuck off because some of his
Speaker 1: your parents are just pissing you off yesterday left and right.
Speaker 1: I thought maybe I needed to go to dinner with them,
Speaker 1: and I was going to make me feel. And then
Speaker 1: I was just like, I was like, I've waited all
Speaker 1: my life to have dinner with my mom and dad
Speaker 1: and here I am, what do you think happened? You
Speaker 1: get annoyed? He was just I don't know, he was
Speaker 1: I don't know what was he saying. He was talking
Speaker 1: about how like this is just the rules. Rules are
Speaker 1: the rules. And I was like, Dad, like, what the
Speaker 1: fuck are you talking about? I was like, the rules
Speaker 1: are made out? Who made them?
Speaker 2: Dad?
Speaker 1: What rules was he? What was he talking about? Specifically?
Speaker 1: What rules? He was he was talking about politics again.
Speaker 1: So politics, because you know, this week is you know,
Speaker 1: voto a week, and it was the first time he
Speaker 1: ever voted ever in his whole life. It's felt serious
Speaker 1: this year. And he was really mad because because he
Speaker 1: lives in Calabasas, it's considered a different it's it's La County.
Speaker 1: But like, you can't vote for it's not the same mayor.
Speaker 1: You vote for the mayor of Calabasas, you don't know
Speaker 1: for the mayor of Los Angeles. So I was like,
Speaker 1: my dad. My mom was trying to guess who he
Speaker 1: voted for, and she was like, I don't think that
Speaker 1: you would vote for Spencer Pratt. And he was like,
Speaker 1: Spencer Pratt wasn't even on the ballot, but if he
Speaker 1: was on the ballot, I would have voted for him.
Speaker 2: I was like, what, I'm done. I don't want to
Speaker 2: hear anything else. He said, well then he what, yeah,
Speaker 2: shit the fuck up? He said, he want to call
Speaker 2: your dad after this.
Speaker 1: He said he would have voted for him because because
Speaker 1: what because Karen Bass, because my dad was deeply impacted
Speaker 1: by the.
Speaker 2: Fires, because she forgot to fill up the water. I know,
Speaker 2: but there's a hell of other people on the on
Speaker 2: the ballot other than Karen and him.
Speaker 1: Well, he couldn't vote, didn't he didn't have vote for
Speaker 1: him anyway, but I'm very glad. I was just like Dad, like,
Speaker 1: do you take everything at face value?
Speaker 2: Like now that like all the fucking Laguna Beach, fucking
Speaker 2: white fuck star.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm just saying, like every like, just do you
Speaker 1: take everything at face value? Because listen, I'm I'm not
Speaker 1: that entrenched in politics, and I don't know Karen Bass's
Speaker 1: history and all these things. But when she was voted in,
Speaker 1: like it was like this big deal, like people were
Speaker 1: rallying behind her all that she had done and messed
Speaker 1: up one, and then she messed up. She went on vacation,
Speaker 1: and you know who knows what happened. They're telling her,
Speaker 1: probably we got it under control. It's fine, it's not
Speaker 1: as bad as you think. It's not. It's never all
Speaker 1: in that year, she had cut funding to the fire department,
Speaker 1: probably because someone, someone advised her, advised her to do.
Speaker 1: And I'm just saying, don't you ever question who is advising,
Speaker 1: who's the person advising as a team is a board,
Speaker 1: it's not just I'm saying, like there's so much dark
Speaker 1: shit happening under the surface. Like I wouldn't put it
Speaker 1: past anyone to say, this is the plan we're gonna
Speaker 1: get Karenna have this bitch go on vacation, and then
Speaker 1: when this sun advise her to cut the funding and
Speaker 1: all these things are gonna be the perfect form to
Speaker 1: fuck HERU her, this last woman in a tower and
Speaker 1: like yes, like they're so calculated. And I was slightly like,
Speaker 1: come on, like stop sometimes you're deby saying it. I'm like, nigga,
Speaker 1: aren't you from Texas? I know you're from Texas.
Speaker 2: And he's like, I don't see color. I'm like really,
Speaker 2: I you know, that's what I That's.
Speaker 1: What I mean. My my grandmother voted for Spencer Pratte bitch,
Speaker 1: my eighties.
Speaker 2: On year old Toddy who told her to do this.
Speaker 1: My mom confronted her about it and she doubled down.
Speaker 1: But why she's because I wanted to. It's my choice,
Speaker 1: because my mom, my grandmother watches Fox.
Speaker 2: This is fucking I'm I'm but you know what. When
Speaker 2: I was voting, I went to Luna' school to vote,
Speaker 2: and I was like close to this other woman, an
Speaker 2: old woman, and she's like she definitely smokes Newports.
Speaker 1: I could tell by your voice.
Speaker 2: She's like, oh my god, I can't push more fucking cheaters.
Speaker 2: This motherfucker's cheating.
Speaker 1: I knew what this bullshit.
Speaker 2: This is bullshit. I can't push Oh yeah, because they're
Speaker 2: fucking cheating. Yeah, they're cheating. I knew they were cheating
Speaker 2: the whole time. I was like, bitch, I am taking
Speaker 2: a test that relies on the whole government. Can you
Speaker 2: shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1: She's like, Oh, they're fucking cheating.
Speaker 2: I was like, how many old women, like how many
Speaker 2: old people are like coming out in droves who have
Speaker 2: no information?
Speaker 1: Well, they're just literally just watching and picking numbers, picking names.
Speaker 1: He was like Republican, Like I can I don't even know.
Speaker 2: I don't know what she was, but I can tell
Speaker 2: by that Newport's fucking sounding smoking voice talking about everybody's
Speaker 2: cheating that she was fucking Republican. And I was just like,
Speaker 2: we're living in the dark days. Literally, I was at
Speaker 2: the pole, like you sent me that voter guide. I
Speaker 2: was focused so intently, and I was like, if I
Speaker 2: made the wrong answer, it's going to fuck the whole everything.
Speaker 1: You see what's happening. I was there for thirty minutes, bitch,
Speaker 1: looking through the voter guide, and then I realized. I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't have to rush. There's no one's
Speaker 1: rushing me. Because I literally felt like I was under
Speaker 1: a time clock, right. But then I was like trying
Speaker 1: to do research. I was like, I should have studied
Speaker 1: before this. I don't know shit. I can't.
Speaker 2: So Spencer Pratt is in the final the November.
Speaker 1: I can't. I mean I can't. I can believe it,
Speaker 1: but I also can't. I can't.
Speaker 2: I can't believe that California is so dumb. But I
Speaker 2: can because I realized that most people, well.
Speaker 1: You know how many people didn't vote. A lot of
Speaker 1: people didn't.
Speaker 2: They probably gave up because look a lot of people
Speaker 2: didn't vote, Like.
Speaker 1: Why would you not?
Speaker 2: I mean even I've said that I don't give a
Speaker 2: fuck before because I know it's bigger than us. But
Speaker 2: at this time, it's like, if it maybe will help,
Speaker 2: that's all we got this point. If there isn't any
Speaker 2: help for democracy, if the democracy's eating kids, and this
Speaker 2: one ballot's going to make a difference, maybe let's just
Speaker 2: try and see what happens. But I you know what,
Speaker 2: I realize that hope my mom doesn't listen to this.
Speaker 1: Did your mom listen to our podcast?
Speaker 2: No? She hadn't even read the book, which is really
Speaker 2: a kind of a blessing.
Speaker 1: I know my mom doesn't listen, but my stepdad is recording. Rory,
Speaker 1: shut up, don't be telling my mom nothing over there.
Speaker 2: Okay, if you're if you were, if you were with
Speaker 2: good moms, you know we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna
Speaker 2: hire home, We're gonna hire our family, the husband, We're
Speaker 2: gonna keep it in the family. And even if we
Speaker 2: have to talk about Dick, this is the family business
Speaker 2: and politics in front of them. We're gonna do it anyway.
Speaker 2: I feel like our parents are kind of slow, like
Speaker 2: they're kind of like, it's true, like the generation behind us.
Speaker 2: Like I see my parents and I'm like.
Speaker 1: That's what our kids are gonna say about us.
Speaker 2: Okay, well no they're not, because look at our pup
Speaker 2: aggressive we are, look at.
Speaker 1: Our book you know.
Speaker 2: I was so offended limited and inviting me to fucking
Speaker 2: uh career day. I was like, are you embarrassing my career?
Speaker 2: She's like, no, I just like other people do other stuff.
Speaker 2: That's cool. I'm like, okay, well you whatever. My dad
Speaker 2: listens to Kevin Samuels, but my dad probably does too,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, who are you? I thought you were
Speaker 2: like a progressive, smart man, but maybe not. You're just
Speaker 2: a man that made me. And then my mom I
Speaker 2: went out to a barbier. I told you went to
Speaker 2: a barbecue with him last week and everything was fine.
Speaker 2: My mom's been doing really good. And then I like progress.
Speaker 2: I saw I saw the age limit of stopped fucking drinking.
Speaker 1: She drank.
Speaker 2: She started drinking tequila and immediately turned it to a
Speaker 2: different bitch, and I was like, you don't need to
Speaker 2: drink babe, you're embarrassing everybody. And she's just like, ah ah,
Speaker 2: I know how to play.
Speaker 1: I was like, time to go.
Speaker 2: But I realized, I'm like, oh, my parents they're smart,
Speaker 2: but like not as smart as I thought. Well, I mean,
Speaker 2: I'm not like not smart, forgive me, but like there
Speaker 2: are things that.
Speaker 1: There's they get stuck. They're stuck in, they are time
Speaker 1: stamped in a certain ide ideology, and they gravitate towards
Speaker 1: whatever feels familiar. So Kevin Samuels feels familiar to your
Speaker 1: father in whatever way it feels familiar, And Kevin Samuels
Speaker 1: feels familiar to my father, my dad said. My dad
Speaker 1: was on this podcast talking mad shit, saying ridiculous things
Speaker 1: that are totally against everything that I stand for all
Speaker 1: the time. And he's he's and he'll double down, you know,
Speaker 1: Like so I don't know, it's it's how do you
Speaker 1: keep the respect?
Speaker 2: But I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: I guess it's like, are we in the place where
Speaker 2: we just don't talk about politics or important things with
Speaker 2: our parents or elso going to disappoint us?
Speaker 1: I hope not. But I mean I've never really talked
Speaker 1: about a lot. Like I talk, I think as I've
Speaker 1: gotten older, I've opened up more to my mom. But
Speaker 1: like as a kid, I helld I hid so much
Speaker 1: from her, and I hid so much from her, but
Speaker 1: a lot of it was because of the intense judgment
Speaker 1: that I had or are you doing bad stuff? Probably?
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, I was like I mean not all
Speaker 1: the time though, But there was a level of distrust
Speaker 1: my mom had for me before I was doing distrustful things.
Speaker 1: So that already made me feel like, you don't want
Speaker 1: to trust me, so I'm not, I don't I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna tell you nothing now. Yeah. And then when I
Speaker 1: did try to give her a little a little nugget
Speaker 1: like like see what would happen, she would always do
Speaker 1: exactly what I thought she was gonna do, which was
Speaker 1: you low against me. Later like that's why you can't
Speaker 1: hang out with that friend, because did it? I'm like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: never telling me about that friend again. So that's why
Speaker 1: I really try not to do that with Iri. And
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's it's hard. And as a parent now,
Speaker 1: like I get it, I get the fear. I get
Speaker 1: I can put myself in her shoes and understand like
Speaker 1: why she did the things that she did. It's just
Speaker 1: I probably now I understand, like she did the best
Speaker 1: that she could with probably what she thought I needed,
Speaker 1: but she didn't really understand me and like how to
Speaker 1: communicate with me and what would have made me feel safe.
Speaker 1: And that's what I was trying to talk to Irie
Speaker 1: about yesterday because I had a pretty I wasn't trying
Speaker 1: to have an intense conversation with her, but the moment
Speaker 1: I brought up something that like she thought she was
Speaker 1: gonna get in trouble for, she immediately like broke, like
Speaker 1: broke down crying, and I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 1: And I asked her. I was like, Iri, is there
Speaker 1: another way you need me to communicate with you about
Speaker 1: like when I'm when I'm having conversations about just things
Speaker 1: that I hope and dream for you, or even critiquing you.
Speaker 1: And then then I was asking her this and I'm like,
Speaker 1: she don't know how she can't, She don't know, she
Speaker 1: don't have an answer for me. It's just like I'm
Speaker 1: just weighing it and trying to figure it out as
Speaker 1: I go. And that's that's the hardest part about parenting
Speaker 1: in general. It's like she is not me. I can't parent.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to parent her in the way that I
Speaker 1: wish that I was parented in ways, But then I'm
Speaker 1: also seeing how that's not backfiring in ways too. It's
Speaker 1: not working sometimes, so it's.
Speaker 2: Like, what do you mean, like being like, I'm cool,
Speaker 2: you can tell me anything. Okay, it's not working, no.
Speaker 1: And so you know, I mean maybe it is. She
Speaker 1: ended up did She ended up divulging something to me
Speaker 1: that I already knew, and I was really grateful and
Speaker 1: I told her. I was like, thank you, like, thank
Speaker 1: you for telling me that, Like that's exciting, you know,
Speaker 1: And we talked about it in the car more like basically,
Speaker 1: she told me she had a crush, and like I
Speaker 1: already knew she had a crush, but she refused to
Speaker 1: tell me. And I guess my bad choice of the
Speaker 1: week was that when I told her about my crush,
Speaker 1: I told her that, yeah, you know, I kissed, I
Speaker 1: had my first cast at eleven, but my crush went
Speaker 1: to jail. She was like what I was like, I
Speaker 1: probably could have not told her that part, but I
Speaker 1: was like, maybe if I gave her, maybe if I overshare,
Speaker 1: then maybe she will feel more comfortable just giving me
Speaker 1: a little bit, But I don't know. It's like this
Speaker 1: parenting shit is so hard. I don't think our parents
Speaker 1: are slow. I just think that they are on their
Speaker 1: own side of the algorithm in their life, not just
Speaker 1: on the Internet, but in their life, Like in the
Speaker 1: people that they're with, the people that they're hanging out with,
Speaker 1: who are also from whatever age or whatever time and
Speaker 1: life and time and life, that's who they're talking to.
Speaker 1: Those are the people that they're conversating with. They're not
Speaker 1: conversating with people of our age and younger, Like that's
Speaker 1: not the information that they're getting.
Speaker 2: So it's like it's kind of like proof, like if
Speaker 2: you don't expand your friend group or your environment, you
Speaker 2: will be like you will believe the same shit that
Speaker 2: you believe in twenty years ago.
Speaker 1: I think that's why it's important that as we get older,
Speaker 1: we stay connected, we stay connected to younger people because
Speaker 1: like they're the closest, they're the heartbeat to what is
Speaker 1: actually happening in the world right now, you know. So
Speaker 1: it's easy for you'd be like, oh, like the gen zs,
Speaker 1: they're stupid, they're dumb, but they don't know anything, and
Speaker 1: it's like they know something. They they know something over there,
Speaker 1: some of them, some of them. Yeah, but like millennials,
Speaker 1: we're not the fucking smartest either, you know, like we're
Speaker 1: all just trying our best. Yeah, so I don't know.
Speaker 2: Well, Spencer Pratt's on the ballot, So.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna smoke for that, because what the fuck? That's
Speaker 1: that's crazy, It's really dumb. But did you see him
Speaker 1: have lunch with the Rolling Sixties? Oh? You did it?
Speaker 1: What the fuck are you talking about? He went to
Speaker 1: the hood, the gang, yes, bitch. He there's a video
Speaker 1: of him at some chicken spot, a chicken yet he's
Speaker 1: eating chicken, yes, bitch with the hood?
Speaker 2: Who put in this call? Who made this call for Spencer?
Speaker 2: I have a huge problem. What nigga accepted the money
Speaker 2: to get him a lunch date with the Rolling Sixties?
Speaker 1: Bitch? Because you did. He's in lunch with the Rolling Sixties.
Speaker 1: He even did an interview like I just had lunch
Speaker 1: with the Rolling Sixties. It was great and they probably
Speaker 1: loved it because he's like like a silly little like
Speaker 1: powering white boys put not Palaestindian, Palasadian, Pacific Palisades specific Palsadian.
Speaker 2: Okay, I never heard anyone who use that. I just,
Speaker 2: you know, I think I'm gonna just take the road of.
Speaker 1: Did see.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be like what evs If the world ends whatever,
Speaker 2: I'm fine. I'm just gonna wear I'm gonna wear my
Speaker 2: housewife clothes.
Speaker 1: Yesterday, my mom said that Rory is ready to move
Speaker 1: to Costa Rica, and I said, let's go, not Rory. Now.
Speaker 2: Now everybody's ready for I'm just waiting for.
Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm waiting for. I'm used to
Speaker 1: go on my own and do it on my own.
Speaker 1: But like I've been, at first, I thought it was
Speaker 1: gonna be my nigga that was gonna like get me
Speaker 1: to go. Like I just I don't want to go alone.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, what are we going? Let's go.
Speaker 2: We need to build the house. We need to build
Speaker 2: something on our land, or just get a tent, for
Speaker 2: God's sake, so just buy a good tent. If we
Speaker 2: could just get a good tent, maybe a you're maybe.
Speaker 1: See the container house two years. It's good air conditioning. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's all we need.
Speaker 2: If we have air conditioning and some mosquito nets we'll
Speaker 2: be fine.
Speaker 1: It might not have a choice.
Speaker 2: The fucking Spencer Pratt comes into office. Yeah, we're gonna
Speaker 2: have to smoke. I'm just gonna smoke and just watch
Speaker 2: Watch America like a movie that I'm not in.
Speaker 1: Anyway.
Speaker 2: It's Father's Day week. Did you make any bad choices
Speaker 2: this week?
Speaker 1: Bad mom? Not a bad mom, but a bad mom.
Speaker 1: It's so good. I just told you my bad choice
Speaker 1: that I told Iri that my eleven year old crush
Speaker 1: went to jail. And she knows him too. That's the
Speaker 1: craziest part too, is that she's met my loven year
Speaker 1: old crush because of Luna. Because of Luna. Yeah, what
Speaker 1: did Luna get to do with? Oh?
Speaker 2: That that's my first that's what you're talking about. It
Speaker 2: was my first crush and my first kid.
Speaker 1: Now you went to jail.
Speaker 2: I didn't know you were talking about. He did twice?
Speaker 1: She said, was he there for a long time? I said, yeah, twice.
Speaker 1: Out now he did this and I did. I said,
Speaker 1: he changed his life though you saw his house. He's
Speaker 1: living good. She went over there, Yes, recently, like last
Speaker 1: summer with Luna with Bob. Yeah, Bobby and Luna. Don't
Speaker 1: say her baby daddy's name one here you've never heard.
Speaker 2: I don't think I said it before, okay, not that
Speaker 2: anybody cares.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like what, I don't know him? I not.
Speaker 2: Oh, okay, I heard that from the grapevine aka Luna.
Speaker 2: He has two girlfriends, okay, explaining two bitches? Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: she said, I don't know which. I don't know who's
Speaker 2: the side one and who's the main one. I thought
Speaker 2: it was other y around, but maybe I was wrong.
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, I said. I asked her, does
Speaker 2: your dad tell you not to mention other girls when
Speaker 2: the other ones around? She said, yeah, he texts me
Speaker 2: don't talk about so.
Speaker 1: What the fuck? I was like, this is healthy for
Speaker 1: a girl. I don't like that. That's not Louis responsibility.
Speaker 1: What the fuck?
Speaker 2: Oh baby, welcome to fatherhood.
Speaker 1: Your dad never tell you that? You never said, don't
Speaker 1: say anything about it? Absolutely not my dad.
Speaker 2: My dad told me to keep saying it to my
Speaker 2: mom all the time, really all the time.
Speaker 1: Don't tell your mom. Don't tell your mom or did this?
Speaker 1: Don't tell your around we're here, don't tell your mom.
Speaker 1: Oh no, my dad's a sneaky fuck.
Speaker 2: That's why I have trusted.
Speaker 1: My dad was just an open ho. Well, I respect
Speaker 1: to open ho. He was openly hoeing, So I don't
Speaker 1: think it was ever that. I don't think the girls
Speaker 1: all knew.
Speaker 2: That's why I'm an open ho, because I didn't have
Speaker 2: an open ho father.
Speaker 1: Well, that was one big gift my dad gave me. Uh,
Speaker 1: thank you, thanks Dad. Happy Father's Day, No, happy Father's Day,
Speaker 1: to the to the good Dad's out there. You guys
Speaker 1: guys are killing it. You guys are doing the Lord's
Speaker 1: an amazing job. You know, children, boys, girls, you know
Speaker 1: my dad. You know, my dad said yesterday that was
Speaker 1: really interesting. He said, sons really need fathers. Oh really
Speaker 1: you think?
Speaker 2: And when he said that, sugared the fun kind. I
Speaker 2: know that triggered the fuck.
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, and he was telling Then he
Speaker 1: proceeded to tell me, you know, all the ways in
Speaker 1: which he's you know, guiding his son. And I'm just
Speaker 1: thinking about just yeah, his relationship with his daughters, and
Speaker 1: it's complicated for him. And I just want to say
Speaker 1: that father's, your children, your daughters, your daughters really need you.
Speaker 1: And it's equal for different reasons.
Speaker 2: Because women and men provide different things that women and
Speaker 2: men both need, yeah, to see examples of and for
Speaker 2: that for romantic relationships. Did you say anything when he
Speaker 2: said that? Or you just let them talk?
Speaker 1: Girl, I had already had a day. I had no
Speaker 1: fucks to give about communicating with either one of my parents.
Speaker 1: I was like, let me just eat this motherfucking salad
Speaker 1: and just get through this TenneT.
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, like, it's best as an adult to
Speaker 2: just be an observer, Like, don't you don't have what
Speaker 2: it's Can you make this be quiet? You don't have
Speaker 2: to I'm realizing in this big age, you don't have
Speaker 2: to put yourself in the middle. You don't have to
Speaker 2: like interject your opinion. Some people are just not going
Speaker 2: to change anyway.
Speaker 1: Most people are not.
Speaker 2: Even if I see someone like my intuitively, like I
Speaker 2: always want to like go to people like are you good?
Speaker 2: Are you I'm like, I'm not doing that anymore. I'm
Speaker 2: not interjecting myself into any conversations. If a strength, even
Speaker 2: if I see a strength, like if you're crying, if
Speaker 2: you fell down, you're bleeding, I'm the only one in
Speaker 2: the corner.
Speaker 1: Maybe you're not interjecting yourself in any conversations.
Speaker 2: I will cry because you're like I'm talking ass a bitch.
Speaker 1: I walk on the street.
Speaker 2: I'm like, la la, la, la la, what'd you say?
Speaker 1: Are you okay? I have an opinion about that? Let
Speaker 1: me tell you about are you crying? I saw this
Speaker 1: thing on Instagram and.
Speaker 2: Actually, ya la la la la, I do and I
Speaker 2: just I'm done. God brought it in Jamaica's actually in Jamaica.
Speaker 2: God said, Dota be quiet. God said, dotta set You
Speaker 2: know I told you about in Jamaica. I was in
Speaker 2: a small town and I was like asking this nice lady, like,
Speaker 2: how does your baby? She has a newborn and she
Speaker 2: was like one month. I was like, oh, like I said,
Speaker 2: your first baby. She's like, no, it's my last baby.
Speaker 2: Is my wash belly. It's my last baby. And I
Speaker 2: was like, oh, I'm gonna have my wash belly soon.
Speaker 2: And she looked at me and she pointed at my
Speaker 2: stomach and she said you're gonna have twins. And I
Speaker 2: said what And Lena said, I told you stopp talking
Speaker 2: to strangers. And literally I feel like she put a
Speaker 2: calling on my life. And I was really scared, and
Speaker 2: I was like, how did I meet the only one
Speaker 2: Jamaican witch on this fucking block, And as soon as
Speaker 2: I turned around and looked at Orlando, he said, I
Speaker 2: told you to stop talking to strangers, and I said, okay,
Speaker 2: I get it. And then, you know, I don't know
Speaker 2: if anyone knows Orlando's mom is a twin. So now
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm maybe she hext me. But it
Speaker 2: was another time I was like wanting to talk to
Speaker 2: a lady. She looked sad, and then I realized shortly
Speaker 2: after she was like hell, like a real one, like
Speaker 2: a prostitute. And I was like, this is where I
Speaker 2: stopped talking to people, because just because I'm reading someone's
Speaker 2: energy does not mean that they are open to anything
Speaker 2: that I'm saying. Nine times out of ten they're not,
Speaker 2: So I'm just gonna fucking.
Speaker 1: Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2: I give blankets and food to people in need, but
Speaker 2: I do not give conversation.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the shot the fuck up side of the
Speaker 1: world over here. You know, I thought my shut the
Speaker 1: fuck up a lot.
Speaker 2: I thought my calling was to like talk to people,
Speaker 2: and sometimes it is, but that's only the retreat.
Speaker 1: It's there's seasons. My life is the season of shut.
Speaker 2: The fuck I'm as I go into thirty eight this
Speaker 2: year thirty eight, I will be thirty eight. You guys,
Speaker 2: I started Good Mom's Bad Choices when I was twenty nine,
Speaker 2: So I will be thirty eight on this couch.
Speaker 1: And wow, that's pretty cool.
Speaker 2: But yeah, that's that's my new that's my download for
Speaker 2: my going into year thirty eight. I'm an observer. I'm
Speaker 2: not interjecting. Actually, unless you explicitly ask me for my opinion.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying fucking shit. I'm just gonna smile and
Speaker 2: nod or look away. So if you see me falling
Speaker 2: into my old ways, snatch me up. Let's go, a bitch,
Speaker 2: stop talking, Okay, practice it all right?
Speaker 1: You know I have no problem snatching your web like
Speaker 1: I'm ready to go, let's go. Yeah. So I'm well,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to be more social. I meanwhile, I'm trying
Speaker 1: to be more outside. I just booked my first solo trip.
Speaker 1: Where are you going? I'm going to Mexico City and
Speaker 1: I'm going to what does Gondido nice? And I'm really excited.
Speaker 1: I'm excited. And this is my gift to myself for
Speaker 1: uh A, raising a fifth grader going to middle school.
Speaker 1: Number one, I can't believe it. Number two I realized
Speaker 1: next year, I'm going to be forty.
Speaker 2: I was like, what the fuck, that's crazier almost forty trip.
Speaker 1: But I was just like, I just don't need to go.
Speaker 1: I want to go and just reflect on my life
Speaker 1: and like what's going on? Are you go? Like what
Speaker 1: do you need to do? What do you where do
Speaker 1: you want to be by the time that that milestone hits,
Speaker 1: like and not putting so much pressure on myself, but
Speaker 1: just giving myself some time to just be still and alone.
Speaker 1: And I don't really have a I don't really have
Speaker 1: a problem being alone, but I've never really been alone
Speaker 1: traveling literally by myself through city to city, and I'm
Speaker 1: really looking forward to it. It's so crazy.
Speaker 2: I've literally been that's been on my heart for a while,
Speaker 2: like like to go on a trip alone. And then
Speaker 2: I was like, are you go to a silent retreat?
Speaker 2: And then I you know, and then I was like,
Speaker 2: I would like to go on to a silent retreat
Speaker 2: that's one week silent with electronics, one week's silently with that.
Speaker 2: But I was just like, I've never gone on a
Speaker 2: solo trip, like not really like not like I'm going
Speaker 2: to go not meet some like meet somebody or meet
Speaker 2: people or like a retreat. I've never done that, and
Speaker 2: I'm really and I wanted to do that, like four
Speaker 2: years ago. I told Orlando that and then he'said, I'll
Speaker 2: go I see you in Mexico, which that's not alone.
Speaker 2: So I do I want to go on like a
Speaker 2: like a you know, like a nice like nice length
Speaker 2: trip alone. The only thing my problem, the only fear
Speaker 2: I have, but maybe not since I'm going into this
Speaker 2: new year at thirty eight of shutting the fuck up. Before,
Speaker 2: I was like, I will get into trouble alone for me.
Speaker 2: I know, like I go alone, I'm gonna be twenty
Speaker 2: five friends. I'm gonna be on a nigga's yeah at
Speaker 2: four am, and I am going to be at a
Speaker 2: family's home, like I'm gonna be in the next city
Speaker 2: over even though no one told me to go there.
Speaker 1: This is my fear about traveling alone, is that I
Speaker 1: will be.
Speaker 2: Like, Okay, sure, let's go, and it will be fine,
Speaker 2: and I will be fine, but then I'll come back
Speaker 2: and be like I have fourteen adventures and not not
Speaker 2: a lot alone time. So I'm like this year, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna I'm gonna also do that, and I'm gonna make
Speaker 2: it a habit to not make too many friends.
Speaker 1: Okay, that sounds kind of sad, but I get. I
Speaker 1: get what you're saying.
Speaker 2: I have a lot of friends I have. I have
Speaker 2: enough friends. I'm actually maybe at the maximum of my
Speaker 2: friend list. I have maxed out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm I want to go be in just like
Speaker 1: my own energy outside, Like what am I like outside
Speaker 1: by myself consistently and maybe not outside I'm probably gonna
Speaker 1: be inside a lot too, because I want to do
Speaker 1: some creating and stuff. But yeah, I'm like, what kind
Speaker 1: of like going to a bar by yourself, like going
Speaker 1: to dinner by yourself, like just get like small, going
Speaker 1: to lunch by taking yourself out, and like it may
Speaker 1: not be by myself. I make friends too outside like
Speaker 1: I probably will like fall upon a friend or something.
Speaker 1: But I really do want to experience that in this
Speaker 1: next chapter of my life because I've I've gone through
Speaker 1: a lot of changes, like I'm single now and like
Speaker 1: I just I went from one relationship to another beautiful relationship.
Speaker 1: But now it's like, Okay, I've been in the company
Speaker 1: of a lot of people's energies close up for a
Speaker 1: while on top of just being a mom, and I'm
Speaker 1: just really looking forward to just being in my own. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I in my own and like yeah, just like experiencing
Speaker 1: myself in a new environment and allowing myself to be free,
Speaker 1: which I don't really have. I'm a free ass bitch,
Speaker 1: but like just I don't know, like who am I
Speaker 1: now in this chapter of my life because I have
Speaker 1: evolved and changed a lot, And yeah, I'm so excited.
Speaker 1: I mean, I couldn't agree more.
Speaker 2: I think that we have been going really hard for
Speaker 2: a really long time, and I'm realizing now, like as
Speaker 2: I'm I guess we've been hustling for a long time
Speaker 2: and this has been like our baby, and then the
Speaker 2: retreat is our baby, Like we literally have kids with
Speaker 2: an s and like we've just been Like I know,
Speaker 2: we talk a lot, we talk to a lot of people,
Speaker 2: we learn a lot of things. We're growing something, we're
Speaker 2: growing humans, and we're trying to grow ourselves. But like
Speaker 2: the embodiment, like have we integrated all that information? I
Speaker 2: know we like said that a couple of years ago,
Speaker 2: but I do feel like still I'm still catching up.
Speaker 2: I do feel like I've done so much in the
Speaker 2: last like eight nine years and now I'm like I'm
Speaker 2: kind of like in shock, like I'm still like my
Speaker 2: body is catching up with all, like my mind is
Speaker 2: catching up with all that I've done, and like I'm
Speaker 2: married and like we're talking about having a kid, and
Speaker 2: like I'm safe. I'm realizing like in this new found
Speaker 2: like safety, I am still somewhat like don't believe that
Speaker 2: I'm safe, and just like really sitting with yourself and
Speaker 2: it's like all that you know, like when you and
Speaker 2: even with Orlando now like going back to work full time,
Speaker 2: I have more time by myself. But it's interesting to
Speaker 2: observe yourself when you're not in the presence with other people,
Speaker 2: when Luna's not there, when he's not there, when I've
Speaker 2: been in the presence of other people for so long,
Speaker 2: and like just the way and the way like I
Speaker 2: won't eat oh like la la la la la la
Speaker 2: unless I'm feeding someone else and then I'm last like
Speaker 2: until I'm fucking starving. I'm gon kill somebody, And I'm like, well,
Speaker 2: what is that? Like why would I just wake up
Speaker 2: and feel like activated to feed myself or to do
Speaker 2: this or like it's and even the other day I
Speaker 2: was like asking Luna, do you want to go to
Speaker 2: the park with me? And she's like no, because she's
Speaker 2: a teen, like a preteen that doesn't want to do
Speaker 2: shit even though it's a beautiful day outside, and like whatever,
Speaker 2: I was realized I'm super sensitive and she's super black
Speaker 2: and white, and I'm like whatever, you're so mean and
Speaker 2: she's like I'm fine, like okay, and even Orlando like
Speaker 2: I'm playing video games, I want to go to the park,
Speaker 2: and I was like, fuck you guys.
Speaker 1: I didn't say that. I was like, I'm going to
Speaker 1: park alone.
Speaker 2: So I went to the park lones and I was like,
Speaker 2: I like me at the park alone actually, but generally
Speaker 2: like unless it was like, hey, you guys are so
Speaker 2: mean to me, I wouldn't have maybe packed my shit
Speaker 2: up and gone. But just feeling activated to just go
Speaker 2: do some shit alone, you know, like and and I
Speaker 2: think there's not a morning. But like, I am married,
Speaker 2: I do live with a child, that's all, you know.
Speaker 2: I am gonna have another kid that's gonna be their
Speaker 2: twenty four seven. I will never be alone again. I
Speaker 2: will never live alone again. That's true. I mean it
Speaker 2: isn't true because I feel like I could have another
Speaker 2: house somewhere. Yeah, but I just like it's just like
Speaker 2: taking I think I'm just in a time where I'm like,
Speaker 2: when everything stops, what is there?
Speaker 1: What's left? Who is there?
Speaker 2: Like and even like in creativity, like you said, like
Speaker 2: when there's so much going on, it's hard, like I
Speaker 2: feel like out of ideas. I'm like I want to
Speaker 2: I feel like not uninspired because I'm inspired, but like
Speaker 2: almost like uninspired and over expired, Like I feel over inspired,
Speaker 2: like the Internet.
Speaker 1: Unexpired and over expired is amazing.
Speaker 2: I love that overspired, like the Internet is. There's so
Speaker 2: much inspiring things.
Speaker 1: I've overspired. There's too much shit.
Speaker 2: I'm screenshotting shit all day and I never look at
Speaker 2: it again. I'm just like I actually want it to
Speaker 2: go i want it to go away. I want to
Speaker 2: have like thoughts that are not impeded by reels or
Speaker 2: post or people, and like even to like even to
Speaker 2: the point like I have so many friends, Like a
Speaker 2: lot of people call me for things that I didn't
Speaker 2: have to be called for, and I and I love
Speaker 2: being there for people.
Speaker 1: But then sometimes I'm like, you don't have to answer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm realizing, like, oh my god, you don't.
Speaker 1: Have to answer, and you can take phone technology breaks,
Speaker 1: like you know, you just have to those It's it's important.
Speaker 1: I mean, those are the things that I have other anxieties,
Speaker 1: Like those things I don't have problems with. I can
Speaker 1: fucking not answer moy the fucking phone call real quick.
Speaker 1: I can say, hey, I'm deleting the app. Figure it out.
Speaker 1: I don't know. But then there's other parts of me
Speaker 1: that are like people pleasing or overwhelmed or super hyper focused,
Speaker 1: and then all my energy goes in one place and
Speaker 1: then I'm exhausted everywhere else. Yeah, you know, like it's
Speaker 1: it's it's finding the ballace, and it isn't I think,
Speaker 1: And actually I don't think. I know because I have,
Speaker 1: you know, even though like I haven't gone on a
Speaker 1: solo trip. I've gone on a lot of trips, either
Speaker 1: with just one person or like when I was touring
Speaker 1: with Macy, I kind of was alone, like I was
Speaker 1: working with her, but then I would be in a
Speaker 1: city by myself trying to like figure it out. And
Speaker 1: what I've learned in those environments is like when you
Speaker 1: put yourself in just foreign spaces, whether that's even just
Speaker 1: turning your phone off can feel like a foreign space,
Speaker 1: like you will find something over there, you will come
Speaker 1: back with something, maybe not the first time, but like
Speaker 1: just shifting and like taking away literally something that is
Speaker 1: just doesn't feel good or is like feel semi addictive,
Speaker 1: Like you're like I kind of feel like I you know,
Speaker 1: like those things make a difference and it's just like
Speaker 1: being aware of them. So yeah, friends don't answer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just like I can't believe it's taken thirty
Speaker 2: eight years to be like, oh, okay, I'm overwhelmed. Yeah,
Speaker 2: i think I've hit my I think I've hit my limit.
Speaker 2: I think I'm on And and also just like accept
Speaker 2: that too, like it's okay to feel overwhelmed. Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: okay to to pivot and be like, Okay, I'm putting
Speaker 2: this down now, I don't have to carry this.
Speaker 1: I told Ashley that my friend actually that I was.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm debating whether I should bring my
Speaker 1: computer or not, like, bitch, shut up, bring your motherfucking computer.
Speaker 1: I was like, what is life before bringing your computer
Speaker 1: on a trip?
Speaker 2: Well, that's the thing, is like I'm like, why do.
Speaker 1: I have to bring my computer? I don't want to
Speaker 1: and and and then she made me feel bad, and
Speaker 1: then I was like, well should I? And I was like,
Speaker 1: what if I get an idea that requires my computer?
Speaker 1: I'm like, what did you do before computers when you
Speaker 1: had ideas?
Speaker 2: You know what I want that a friend had that came, uh, desert.
Speaker 1: My cousin, No, who's coming, oh, Dominique, Dominique. She had
Speaker 1: a typewriter. Yeah, she bought it out here.
Speaker 2: I know, she showed me. I'm like, I want one
Speaker 2: of those. There's like a typewriter, but I it took
Speaker 2: me back. I used to type on a typewriter as
Speaker 2: a kid and I loved it. And now I was like,
Speaker 2: I forgot that I'd done that. It's almost like when
Speaker 2: you remove one sense, everything else will become more.
Speaker 1: Like yeah, yeah, that's so true, more heightened.
Speaker 2: More heightened. So it's like if you do remove your phone,
Speaker 2: like all the ideas will start coming.
Speaker 1: In a different and a more productive way.
Speaker 2: And I'm more like, I feel like in a more
Speaker 2: authentic way, like because we're so overspired by the Internet
Speaker 2: and like by like it's it's that's my that's my
Speaker 2: only like reluctance outside of the fucking globe, Like AI
Speaker 2: to me, feels like taking the humanness out of creativity
Speaker 2: and like giving it away to this machine that I
Speaker 2: don't know what you're gonna do with it. And then
Speaker 2: you're gonna have all our creativities because you've like taken
Speaker 2: it from everywhere, data from everywhere, and it's like and
Speaker 2: then there's gonna be also like a co creating with
Speaker 2: AI that I don't fuck with, Like I want to
Speaker 2: be able to turn this shit off and be like,
Speaker 2: oh that's a good idea by itself, not because so
Speaker 2: and so's real inspired me. And then I asked chat
Speaker 2: gibt and I tell them three words of my own,
Speaker 2: and now I have this bomb idea, like I want
Speaker 2: to be like I want to I just want to
Speaker 2: be disconnected so that I can connect for real, like
Speaker 2: see the Like I'm already a person's like oh, look
Speaker 2: at the flower. Let's look at the tree. But like
Speaker 2: you realize when you put some shit like for real,
Speaker 2: you're like, oh there.
Speaker 1: I am, Oh the flowers pink. Oh there, it's not
Speaker 1: just look at the flower. Oh it has a green stem?
Speaker 1: Oh wow, leaves, Like you start to notice the things
Speaker 1: that you generally just bypass.
Speaker 2: And how much we're bypassing them. And this this era
Speaker 2: more than it's more than any time, and it's not,
Speaker 2: it's not it's not going to go backwards ever. So
Speaker 2: we we literally have to disconnect, unplug ourselves. We have
Speaker 2: to have the discipline unplug ourselves or else we will
Speaker 2: get wrapped up in this addiction that we don't even see.
Speaker 2: Is like this is psychological warfare.
Speaker 1: We're at war, like it's this is not a game.
Speaker 2: They are literally they're literally like manipulating how you feel
Speaker 2: on a daily basis, while also taking data about who
Speaker 2: you are as a profile, like I'm I just I
Speaker 2: don't want to attach to this this world in this way.
Speaker 2: I consciously want to be like, please get this shit
Speaker 2: away from me.
Speaker 1: I think it's now, it's more than ever. The most
Speaker 1: important thing is to be in not even discipline with yourself,
Speaker 1: but in devotion of yourself, like truth, like your real
Speaker 1: true self, and like giving that time and space for
Speaker 1: you to do that, because that's the whole ploy is
Speaker 1: disconnecting ourselves, disconnecting us from ourselves, disconnecting us from nature,
Speaker 1: disconnecting us from connection, just disconnecting us in general. That's
Speaker 1: that's the agenda. And so it's it's it's there, and
Speaker 1: it's there, and it's really no, we can't get away
Speaker 1: from it. We can't. We can, but we can't. So
Speaker 1: we have to be intentional and so that's part of it.
Speaker 1: I feel like I've been in like a two year
Speaker 1: journey of like figuring out what devotion looks like in
Speaker 1: my life, like being devoted in a relationship, being devoted
Speaker 1: to like my wellness practices, like being like devoted to
Speaker 1: my daughter, like and all at different spectrums, and like
Speaker 1: I'm figuring out the balance of what actually makes me
Speaker 1: feel good. And it's been fun and it's been really hard,
Speaker 1: and it's been sad, and it's been fun and it's
Speaker 1: been emotional. But I feel like, more than ever, like
Speaker 1: that's the ship we need to be studying. We can
Speaker 1: study all the every other thing in the world they
Speaker 1: want us to distract ourselves with, but like it's time
Speaker 1: to like understand what you need in order to just
Speaker 1: stay connected to yourself, because if not, you're just gonna
Speaker 1: be lost and you're just gonna be like a robot.
Speaker 1: You'll eventually just be one of these lambs that are
Speaker 1: just whatever they say. It's like there's already people that
Speaker 1: have already been programmed, like they're done. It's done, like
Speaker 1: they're clicked off NPCs, you know what I'm saying. Like
Speaker 1: it's and and this type of technology is like the
Speaker 1: last piece of the puzzle. I think before we either
Speaker 1: totally implode as a society, or maybe God comes out
Speaker 1: it takes us out, or we awaken. Something happens and
Speaker 1: there's a mass awakening.
Speaker 2: They keep saying that they're gonna they're gonna unplug us anyway,
Speaker 2: like there's gonna be just like a book, complete blackout
Speaker 2: and people are gonna lose their fucking shit.
Speaker 1: Like unplugg us from the techniqulgy. So there will be
Speaker 1: no have you seen Bigonia. No, there'll be no electricity.
Speaker 1: There'll be no Internet.
Speaker 2: That would be really great. We need electricity, babe. I
Speaker 2: thought about this a lot of times.
Speaker 1: What about solar power?
Speaker 2: I don't think it can keep a refrigerator on.
Speaker 1: Solar powers?
Speaker 2: Again, the sun, it's not the sun might be fake.
Speaker 2: We're all vitamin D deficient. I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 2: I am you are too. Everyone's vitamin D deficient. It's
Speaker 2: a huge epidemic.
Speaker 1: How do you know Vitamin D deficient.
Speaker 2: Everybody is.
Speaker 1: It's a thing. Okay, check your charts, Okay, anyway, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, and then I'm thinking like and then I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have another kid that's gonna take me even further
Speaker 1: away from like I need a moment.
Speaker 2: I just need a moment to catch up with all,
Speaker 2: like the light.
Speaker 1: Might be might do that, bitch. The kid's gonna sit
Speaker 1: your ass down.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna be sitting down looking at your ass.
Speaker 2: I need to look at me. I need to I
Speaker 2: need to hold me, I need to rock me for
Speaker 2: a second. Yeah, yeah, it's just yeah, the coming back
Speaker 2: to yourself is you know, there's like a theory that
Speaker 2: like every seven to ten years we go through different
Speaker 2: life changes, different cycles. And I'm recognizing like yeah, like
Speaker 2: thirty twenty eight, twenty nine, thirty and now we're at
Speaker 2: like thirty seven, thirty thirty nine forty. Like I'm seeing
Speaker 2: that there is just like an energetic shift. There's like
Speaker 2: an awakening per se that happens that like just something
Speaker 2: is you know, like you.
Speaker 1: You really start to think about what you're giving your
Speaker 1: energy to, yeah, and how much time you have.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and what's pleasurable and really like what feels good
Speaker 2: and like nourishing to yourself, and like, this doesn't feel good.
Speaker 2: It doesn't feel nourishing. It feels like fast food. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like like filling, but there's not a single nutrain in it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean there's parts of technology that I appreciate.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2: I mean, I love access to certain information.
Speaker 1: I love people have access, but like I do, it's
Speaker 1: not even with information, it's the level of connection that
Speaker 1: I get to keep with people that I love. Like
Speaker 1: if I didn't have a phone, I wouldn't be able
Speaker 1: to communicate with someone who lives across the world and
Speaker 1: without being in their presence.
Speaker 2: Do you remember we used to just call people? Yeah,
Speaker 2: phone a regular how landline? We could call people far away.
Speaker 1: Oh so you're saying, okay, so the cell phone not
Speaker 1: necessarily the phone? No the cell the cell phone? Okay
Speaker 1: phone no? No? Oh no, yeah, bring regular Maybe I
Speaker 1: should get it. Who did we know that had a
Speaker 1: regular landline? Someone we know had one? That was I
Speaker 1: with you when that happened and I was like, oh no,
Speaker 1: it's it's my friend Debbie. Yeah, she has a landline.
Speaker 2: Luna's grandma has landline. They I don't think they do
Speaker 2: them anymore. I think when I moved in and asked
Speaker 2: about it, really, I don't think they do it. I
Speaker 2: don't even think the phone jack's work, which we need
Speaker 2: to get satellite radio's bitch? And did I tell you
Speaker 2: that I built the world my inn apocalyptic Amazon bag
Speaker 2: and it was eight hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: So I never pre said you guys, just do it.
Speaker 1: I got little by little, I got like one.
Speaker 2: Two satellite radios too.
Speaker 1: I was like, you just buy. You don't have to
Speaker 1: buy everything at once. Break it up, bitch.
Speaker 2: My add is so intense that it's like I hyper focus.
Speaker 2: I go extreme, that's all I can. And then I'm
Speaker 2: like that's too much. And then I forget all about it.
Speaker 2: And I was like, too much, overwhelming, seven hundred dollars,
Speaker 2: I'll die, so yeah, and then yeah, add I think
Speaker 2: it's like because I'm getting older and this phone is
Speaker 2: not it's not contributing to my memory, to my fucking focus.
Speaker 2: Like I'm always in a rush. And then I was like,
Speaker 2: what the fuck are you rushing cleaning for? I'm like,
Speaker 2: I don't know. He's like, are you slow down? He's like,
Speaker 2: what do you think you get in trouble if the
Speaker 2: house is not clean. When I come home and I'm
Speaker 2: like no, He's like, and I have to be like,
Speaker 2: everything is fine, bitch, everything.
Speaker 1: Use all your practices. Breathe the breaths, smowan in the moment,
Speaker 1: be present, know that everything's fine. You're a good wife.
Speaker 1: You're a good housewife, your great housewife. I decided that if.
Speaker 2: I wear a housewife clothes, sexy housewife clothes, then maybe
Speaker 2: I'll be more motivated to do the dishes or like
Speaker 2: be nice, because I realize sometimes I'm not that nice
Speaker 2: for no reason. I'm just kind of like, you can't
Speaker 2: be a bitch in a housewife dress.
Speaker 1: Not really. Look at these shoes. You can't be a
Speaker 1: bitch of these shoes. You just want to go like
Speaker 1: those are kind of some I can see bitchy. I
Speaker 1: can see people being bitches in those shoes. But you
Speaker 1: could be bitchy to your husband. You know, you know it. Sweats.
Speaker 2: Sweats is your bitchy most Yeah, sweats is like you
Speaker 2: don't have to go to the park with me, motherfucker
Speaker 2: fuck you. I'm getting my own parks ship. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: I'm getting in a sandwich. And then they get there,
Speaker 2: I'm like, why a you guys here? Who told you
Speaker 2: guys to come to the park with think they came anyway?
Speaker 2: They felt bad after and then Lana's like, I'm a
Speaker 2: bad example. Now Lunda doesn't want to go to the
Speaker 2: park because he's up there playing fucking video games. But
Speaker 2: then we came and it was fun and we raced.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I was like, maybe if I wear and
Speaker 2: then I was like, I'm such a bitch. Maybe maybe
Speaker 2: he likes me because I kind of remind him of
Speaker 2: his mom. And then I was like, I can't tell
Speaker 2: him that. I just gotta change. So then I was like, okay, well,
Speaker 2: if I wear a housewife clothes, maybe I'll be nicer,
Speaker 2: Maybe i'll do the dishes more, maybe I'll maybe I'll
Speaker 2: like you gotta you gotta play the part and then
Speaker 2: become the person. So I'll tell you how it goes.
Speaker 1: I'm looking forward to it. Do you have any bad choices?
Speaker 1: This week? You asked me three times? What's nice? I'm
Speaker 1: high I'll light that up again. What's the next one?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? For his advice, there was an advice
Speaker 1: question that was in the discord. If you haven't joined
Speaker 1: our discord, yet, make sure you join discord. We have
Speaker 1: a lot of people in here just talking their shit
Speaker 1: and we're talking our shit, and we're thearing the shit
Speaker 1: and they saying stuff and it's pretty entertaining. Let me see.
Speaker 1: Uh ye, sometimes the channels disappear and I can't find them.
Speaker 2: Well, if you guys have nothing to do Juneteenth, when
Speaker 2: does this come out?
Speaker 1: It says you've caught an ultra rare error. What the
Speaker 1: fuck are you saying an ultra rare error?
Speaker 2: You guys, If you have no plans on Juneteenth, I
Speaker 2: am co hosting a play party Matrix themed with the
Speaker 2: play Get Tested, get an interview, do your application so
Speaker 2: you can come play. It's from eight to four am,
Speaker 2: so you'll have plenty of time. The cloth doors close
Speaker 2: at ten am. There's no pressure to do anything. It's
Speaker 2: for the curious, it's for the pleasure, bullets, for the fun.
Speaker 2: There's going to be open bar, performances and a DJ,
Speaker 2: and of course I'll be there and my best Matrix
Speaker 2: themed outfit. So if this seems like something you want
Speaker 2: to do when you're the Los Angeles area, click the
Speaker 2: link in this description. The play Matrix, the play, the
Speaker 2: play Oh shit.
Speaker 1: Well, here is an advice question that actually goes along
Speaker 1: with that with the play what what kind of routine
Speaker 1: can I do to help me get to an orgasm
Speaker 1: with without or with a partner. I always find myself
Speaker 1: letting it be done when they're done, or like stopping
Speaker 1: before I can get there, holding myself back. I'm not
Speaker 1: sure what's holding me.
Speaker 2: Back, presence, vulnerability. It is really hard to sometimes get
Speaker 2: out of our heads and get out of fight or flight.
Speaker 2: Like I said, for the hundredth time, the fucking phone
Speaker 2: run a lot of channels, and I think sometimes people
Speaker 2: don't romanticize the moment or like create it as a
Speaker 2: like a devotion or a ritual, and I think sometimes
Speaker 2: you have to slow down, maybe turn the phone off,
Speaker 2: put on a playlist that's at least an hour long,
Speaker 2: something that you want to hear, maybe like incense, a candle,
Speaker 2: something you're gonna smell, something like to drink, like just
Speaker 2: like entice all of your senses and like make love
Speaker 2: to yourself and breathe and just like like enter the
Speaker 2: masturbation as if it's a meditation, and like put your
Speaker 2: hand on your yoni, put your hand on your heart,
Speaker 2: and just like take a fucking beat bitch, and like
Speaker 2: don't go straight to the rose and like and then
Speaker 2: come and then fall asleep and go on your way.
Speaker 2: But just like kind of take a moment, turn on
Speaker 2: some sexy music, maybe put something sexy on. If you're
Speaker 2: with the partner, take a minute to stare into each
Speaker 2: other's eyes. This is like the like the most epic
Speaker 2: rese I know it sounds cheesy, but like just taking
Speaker 2: a moment to like connect to your partner and breathe
Speaker 2: together and stare into each other's eyes for fucking one minute.
Speaker 2: It makes a huge difference when it comes to just connecting, arguing,
Speaker 2: love making. And you could do this with yourself in
Speaker 2: the mirror two, which is also makes for good love
Speaker 2: making and just you know, adorn yourself and give yourself compliments.
Speaker 2: And actually, when you place your hand on your heart,
Speaker 2: talk to your pussy, see who's home, See how that feels.
Speaker 2: And if you have to forgive her, if you have
Speaker 2: to love on her, just do the things that you
Speaker 2: would like someone else to do to you. But mostly
Speaker 2: I feel like people have a hard time orgasming because
Speaker 2: they have a hard time being vulnerable and like literally
Speaker 2: just relaxing and write and regulating their nervous system and
Speaker 2: getting out of their heads. So just take a moment,
Speaker 2: you know, to breathe, ignite your senses. Take the full
Speaker 2: sixty minutes. Don't uninterrupted and romanticize the masturbation.
Speaker 1: Amen, put it on a timer, and know that you
Speaker 1: might not get it right the first time, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. Might get distracted, Like you're gonna get distracted.
Speaker 1: You might you might feel uncomfortable like all that stuff
Speaker 1: like can feel uncomfortable for someone if you've never done that,
Speaker 1: you can you start to observe yourself in the ways
Speaker 1: that you try to, like walk away from things, or like,
Speaker 1: oh that's too much, I need to do that, or
Speaker 1: fuck it, let me just put the fucking porn on,
Speaker 1: or uh, fuck it. Some of my hands are I
Speaker 1: have grow I'm masturbated with my hands in gears. Fuck
Speaker 1: the hands. I need the like you can reset your body.
Speaker 1: We have everything that we need right here, Like everything
Speaker 1: that we need we have right here. Possess you don't
Speaker 1: need necessarily outside external forces. Yes, they feel good, but
Speaker 1: I do think that it's important for to build connection
Speaker 1: with what you have there. You go with what you have,
Speaker 1: especially if you feel like you've you're blocking yourself from something.
Speaker 1: I also remember like when I like the for orgasm orgasming,
Speaker 1: and then like the resistance of it, Like there's a
Speaker 1: lot of shame there too. There's shame and feeling like
Speaker 1: maybe someone has embarrassed you. You think you're going to
Speaker 1: pee on people. There's so many reasons why, like people
Speaker 1: feel like they block themselves. So really, I think trying
Speaker 1: to understand where that comes from and releasing that and
Speaker 1: acknowledging it.
Speaker 2: And also recognizing that in these in this quiet moment,
Speaker 2: when you do start to do this, it could bring
Speaker 2: up things emotions. It's going to bring up emotions like
Speaker 2: why haven't I done this before? Why don't I have
Speaker 2: words to give to my pussy with? Like there are
Speaker 2: a lot like in the quiet of it all, I
Speaker 2: think there is the like revelation of avoidance. If you
Speaker 2: have avoided something or yourself for a long time, when
Speaker 2: you finally quiet down and kind of start to connect,
Speaker 2: it can be overwhelming. A lot of us have numbed,
Speaker 2: a lot of us are just moving. A lot of
Speaker 2: us have had like sexual fucking trauma and non sexual trauma.
Speaker 2: But it lives there. And so if you haven't addressed it,
Speaker 2: If you haven't taken the time to, you know, just
Speaker 2: address yourself, it can be overwhelming, especially for women, because
Speaker 2: there is just a lot of shame associated with our
Speaker 2: pusseas in general. So I'm experiencing that right now, like
Speaker 2: which is also feels like we talk about this a lot,
Speaker 2: but like a delayed response, Like I'm experiencing a lot
Speaker 2: of revelations about my like my sexual history and also
Speaker 2: like sexual abuse that I've experienced. And it's it's interesting
Speaker 2: because it's not things that I don't think, not things
Speaker 2: that I did not know, but it's things that I'm
Speaker 2: now sitting with a little bit longer and observing a
Speaker 2: little bit longer and seeing like how it has affected
Speaker 2: me or how it hasn't if I've not even addressed them,
Speaker 2: And it's it's kind of heavy, and it's it's also
Speaker 2: interesting because I think I've used sex a lot too.
Speaker 2: I've used sex a lot as like my drug, like
Speaker 2: I could like and part of it felt empowering, like
Speaker 2: I could do whatever I want with my body, fuck
Speaker 2: these niggas. But then a part of me now and
Speaker 2: like this this chapter of my life, it seems like
Speaker 2: maybe that was like a front obviously, Like so there's
Speaker 2: some there's definitely some trauma there and like some things
Speaker 2: that you know, I just I have to accept. And
Speaker 2: also like when you don't know better and you do
Speaker 2: things like because that's your defense mechanism or that's how
Speaker 2: that's your medicine at that time, you can't like it's
Speaker 2: not worth it to to hold shame in those places.
Speaker 2: But just like the forgiveness and just you know, the
Speaker 2: pussy holds a lot. So when you start to sit
Speaker 2: with yourself in that way, I feel like there's a
Speaker 2: it could be jarring, but it's also beautiful. It's also
Speaker 2: like I also realize as these things come up for
Speaker 2: me and it's my age, but also the sense of
Speaker 2: safety I feel in my relationship, the sense of safety
Speaker 2: I feel in my environment that I have. My body
Speaker 2: is now telling me it's okay and it's safe to
Speaker 2: look at Now. You have a moment, you're safe, we
Speaker 2: have time and space. You don't have to hide these
Speaker 2: things from yourself anymore. You don't have to ignore them,
Speaker 2: you don't have to numb them. It's okay to process now,
Speaker 2: which is you know, I keep telling myself like it's
Speaker 2: nothing to avoid, it's actually a beautiful place to arrive.
Speaker 1: So no, it's spiritual. It's like, I mean, I've had
Speaker 1: so many experiences like that in my relationship and then
Speaker 1: also by myself, and like there is not much difference
Speaker 1: between like feeling the ecstasy of like an orgasm and
Speaker 1: also feeling like the love of what God feels.
Speaker 2: Like in your life too, it's the same thing.
Speaker 1: And I know that's what I'm saying, is like, but
Speaker 1: like there's so much so many people will listen to
Speaker 1: that and be like what the fuck Like when you
Speaker 1: have really allowed yourself the freedom to remove all shame
Speaker 1: and be seen whether that's by your for yourself or
Speaker 1: with someone else in the act of like what is
Speaker 1: like one of the one is the most holiest act
Speaker 1: of like being human, which is creation and love. Then
Speaker 1: like it's just it's just it's just incredible and the
Speaker 1: healing that can happen there. But for me, like, yes,
Speaker 1: I've experienced moments like that, but I haven't been able
Speaker 1: to sustain them in the ways like that. I you know,
Speaker 1: there's basically I'm saying, there's still work to be done,
Speaker 1: but I'm grateful for the journey of like contra, I'm
Speaker 1: think great grateful for the journey of all the all
Speaker 1: the different spaces and places and the women that I've
Speaker 1: met along the way that have guided me to knowing
Speaker 1: my body better, because it definitely wasn't men that helped. Actually,
Speaker 1: it's been women that have brought me closer to like
Speaker 1: my sexuality, and not because I've slept with women. It's
Speaker 1: just like witnessing other women in their embodiment, in the
Speaker 1: freedom of who they are has has done that. And
Speaker 1: so it's just important for us to be in circle
Speaker 1: with one another and be able to have these kind
Speaker 1: of conversations and be able to share like the fact
Speaker 1: that you know, this person writing in bravely in our
Speaker 1: discord for everyone to see that, like you know, she's
Speaker 1: struggling with this, where a lot of people would feel ashamed,
Speaker 1: you know. So like I just I'm just so grateful
Speaker 1: that we have this community where we can can talk
Speaker 1: and share about where we're at and help each other.
Speaker 2: Yes, and we're the journey is hopefully forever, you know,
Speaker 2: like we're always learning, Like the life is the journey,
Speaker 2: and it's beautiful, and we're not ever healed, we're always
Speaker 2: in process. We're always in healing, and do things get
Speaker 2: easier and better and like more clear, Yes, if you're
Speaker 2: devoted to constantly like adjusting and finding pleasure and also
Speaker 2: being gentle with the adjustments. Like I also feel like
Speaker 2: in this chapter, I'm like, I just want to be
Speaker 2: treated nicely by myself to myself and like be gentle
Speaker 2: and like because every day life goes on, you know,
Speaker 2: every day, like we wake up and we start over
Speaker 2: and it's a new day, and I just like, I
Speaker 2: know women are so hard on themselves, and like we're
Speaker 2: all just figuring it out.
Speaker 1: Amen, you have an information, it's week. We're all just
Speaker 1: figuring it out.
Speaker 2: We're all just figuring it out. Be gentle with yourself. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because it's true.
Speaker 1: I can't believe already thirty eight Wow, that's not that's fine.
Speaker 1: All of it's fine. I'm actually forty isn't scary to me.
Speaker 1: It's just a it's just like a marker. And I
Speaker 1: feel like for me, and that's what it's like when
Speaker 1: Sebastian told me you're that midlife if you live till eighty,
Speaker 1: it is oh wow, Okay, I mean hopefully I live
Speaker 1: longer than that, but yeah, kind of it's a roundish.
Speaker 1: It's a roundish midlife. For sure, you're healthy at minimum,
Speaker 1: and like something crazy doesn't happen like you.
Speaker 2: But that's the thing, something crazy could happen. It's like
Speaker 2: it's no guarantee, like we can exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why you gotta just do it now, do
Speaker 1: it all now, take the solo trip, now, book the retreat. Now,
Speaker 1: come to Costa Rica, Hay, Now that's this summer now,
Speaker 1: Like make sure you're you know, your cup is filled
Speaker 1: in all areas now, like go try that new fucking
Speaker 1: restaurant you've been wanting to try.
Speaker 2: Now Yeah, like yeah, pretty much, you know.
Speaker 1: Like forgive that person now, tell that other person you
Speaker 1: love them, now all the things, like just try to
Speaker 1: be present, try to be like try to like let's
Speaker 1: just try to be on ten all the time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like but like in the in like not down ten,
Speaker 1: like stressful ten, but like in the presence of yourself.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like the beauty of today, the beauty of right now,
Speaker 2: the beauty of where you're at right in this very moment, and.
Speaker 1: What you want and what you're creating and what you
Speaker 1: want to leave behind. And yeah, so I'm excited to
Speaker 1: go do that. I'll give you guys. It's an update
Speaker 1: on my solo trip. How long are you going for
Speaker 1: a week? I love your nice It's gonna be nice
Speaker 1: one week.
Speaker 2: What made you choose Mexico City cheap?
Speaker 1: And I love Mexico City. Yeah, Mexico City is nice.
Speaker 2: I really as part of Escondido near the beach.
Speaker 1: Yeah. That take a flight from Mexico City a small plane.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think so. I think everything's
Speaker 1: a small thing. But I also well, the first time
Speaker 1: I went to Mexico City, I was like, I could
Speaker 1: live here. I started looking at apartments and ship I
Speaker 1: had there's something I have a connection there. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe some months my ancestors were over there. But yeah,
Speaker 1: so I'm going to go there for two days and
Speaker 1: then I'm going to go to Puertoes Gondido, which has
Speaker 1: always been on my bucket list and I wanted to
Speaker 1: go for my birthday. That time that I left Nisha
Speaker 1: and Brandon with my ex boyfriend and left the Airbnb
Speaker 1: and went to a hotel.
Speaker 2: I got about that I was trying to go there.
Speaker 1: That wasn't tuloom, though I know we end up going
Speaker 1: to Tulom because the world lockdown. It was like it
Speaker 1: was it was like right out of COVID and like that.
Speaker 1: I was either gonna go to o Wahaka and Escondido.
Speaker 1: But I didn't realize that mech well, I know Mexico
Speaker 1: is big, but I didn't realize how hard it is
Speaker 1: to travel. Like I thought, Oh, I can just go
Speaker 1: from I can just drive from the thinking of Costa
Speaker 1: Rica was like I've driven in through terrains and shit,
Speaker 1: I got that. They were like, no, bit twelve hours,
Speaker 1: Yes you could, but it's gonna take twelve hours. I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, never mind. So we went to Tulum instead.
Speaker 1: But I don't know if that feel like Tuloom. I
Speaker 1: don't know if it's kind of it's a little a
Speaker 1: shady energy. Now, yeah, it's over. It's been colonized and colonized.
Speaker 1: Did you see Bali?
Speaker 2: Uh like made a a law that if you do
Speaker 2: a sponsored post from Bali that you could be arrested.
Speaker 2: Its attained. If you do a sponsored like using them
Speaker 2: for tourism, a sponsored post, you will be detained.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're not fucking around just because they need to
Speaker 2: get their ship together to a little bit I mean
Speaker 2: because because it's too many people, so it's too close
Speaker 2: to fucking white ass Australia. Yeah, it's the whites everywhere there.
Speaker 1: It's so beautiful. I'm going to go back. I really
Speaker 1: want to go back. Love Balie so much. Before we
Speaker 1: get out of here, I think it's Terot.
Speaker 2: Time, Terot time, terror time.
Speaker 1: What is it? The Nine of Cups? What does it
Speaker 1: look like? Oh? Okay, it looks like.
Speaker 2: You got a ship together, aund right ups. Oh you
Speaker 2: can try me if you like it, says the first
Speaker 2: thing I saw. This first thing that I saw is
Speaker 2: it's it's generally known as the make a wish card.
Speaker 2: You know those moments when you glance around and feel
Speaker 2: your heart overflowing with love and appreciation for everything you
Speaker 2: have created in your life. That's what the Nine of
Speaker 2: Cups is about. Emotional fulfillment, happiness, and contentment. When this
Speaker 2: card appears in a tarot reading, you're content in all
Speaker 2: aspects of your life, relationships, work, lifestyle, well being, and more.
Speaker 2: You are basking in the abundance of life and experiencing
Speaker 2: your emotions with such intensity and pleasure. This is why
Speaker 2: the Nine of Cups is often called the wish card.
Speaker 2: It comes as a sign that the planet's aligned and
Speaker 2: you have everything you wished for. You couldnt be happier.
Speaker 2: If you made your wish and you're patiently waiting for
Speaker 2: it to come to fruition, then this card is an
Speaker 2: excellent omen that will soon be granted. The Nine of
Speaker 2: Cups is an invitation to splurge, indulge, and enjoy life's pleasures.
Speaker 2: This includes enjoying good food and wine, appreciating the arts,
Speaker 2: making love, relaxing in a luxurious resort, or experiencing beauty.
Speaker 2: Live in the moment, and give yourself permission to indulge
Speaker 2: temporarily without any guilt about the possible negative consequences of
Speaker 2: such pleasure.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Go in word, bitch, Yeah go in word. Be
Speaker 1: in devotion to yourself, Go on solo trips, go to
Speaker 1: the sex party, fill all your cups.
Speaker 2: Remember to count your blessings and express gratitude for what
Speaker 2: you have. Start or end every day by creating a
Speaker 2: mental list of the three things for which you are
Speaker 2: most grateful.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do that. Yeah, that's starting today, all the
Speaker 1: way through my trip and forever.
Speaker 2: Do you need to add a gratitude segment? Maybe the
Speaker 2: things you're grateful for. Over time, you will intensify your
Speaker 2: sense of contentment and your ability to attract what you
Speaker 2: wish for. It is the law of attraction. We are
Speaker 2: testimonies to the law of attraction. We have really quite
Speaker 2: literally built this. This has been our vision. I literally,
Speaker 2: oh my fucking god, I just had a vision and
Speaker 2: one of our one million shared notes a long time ago,
Speaker 2: there is a picture of a there's like a neon sign.
Speaker 2: There's this fucking palm tree. Literally, this is what we envisioned.
Speaker 2: I think it was like a nighttime a night you're
Speaker 2: talking about a night life show.
Speaker 1: I don't know what.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's one of our first notes together. That's probably
Speaker 2: gone on for five years. But wow, I gotta look
Speaker 2: that notes up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we created this, and I'm grateful for what
Speaker 1: we've created. I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for you
Speaker 1: guys listening that have been on this journey with us.
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for uh breath that I could even breathe
Speaker 1: to speak on this motherfucking mic. I'm just I'm grateful.
Speaker 1: So and I have been feeling grateful even though like
Speaker 1: there's been a lot of shifts going on, but I
Speaker 1: am grateful for them. I'm grateful that I know I
Speaker 1: have this. I think I'm getting into deeper knowing that
Speaker 1: I like everything always works out. Yeah, everything is gonna
Speaker 1: be fine. It's just the the in betweenness that is, like.
Speaker 2: You know, because there's always like we always have this
Speaker 2: definition of what fine is going to be and how
Speaker 2: it's gonna come, Like God's gonna come down and give
Speaker 2: you the call. You're a millionaire bitch, it's.
Speaker 1: Like, hey, God, Hey, it's God, It's time to go
Speaker 1: see you know. But it's like it never happens that way.
Speaker 2: So it's like we might as well just accept that
Speaker 2: it doesn't really happen that way. It's always like a
Speaker 2: gradual build and then you're like, oh shit, I'm here.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So and then I realized, because we're sitting in our manifestation,
Speaker 2: like now's the time we get to like sharpen it,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like we just had we
Speaker 2: threw some shit out, and a lot of it came
Speaker 2: like on travel a time. I want to be so
Speaker 2: cool travel all the time. And then like okay, we
Speaker 2: travel all the time, literally all the time. You know.
Speaker 1: That was all of our manifestation board that we made.
Speaker 2: Yes, travel travel with our kids, travel travel, and then
Speaker 2: we did. We traveled a lot and we are traveling
Speaker 2: a lot, and I'm grateful for that. And then I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: we could, like we can fine tune it. And it's
Speaker 2: not a matter of if it's going to happen, it's
Speaker 2: just a matter of when.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so yeah, And I'm grateful for creation energy.
Speaker 1: I'm grateful to be a woman. I'm grateful to be
Speaker 1: a black woman.
Speaker 2: I'm so grateful.
Speaker 1: I'm grateful to be a black woman during this beautiful
Speaker 1: month of just black focus and celebration, and I'm just
Speaker 1: thank you God, make me black in every make me
Speaker 1: blacker next lifetime, not black, actually can be a little
Speaker 1: more blessed, just a little more, you know, just like
Speaker 1: come on a bit cheb and like just a reminder
Speaker 1: that in this time and space, like they're literally.
Speaker 2: Harvesting our fear, they're harvesting our anger and like the joy,
Speaker 2: the connection, the pleasure, like literally black pleasure is revolutionary.
Speaker 1: So like just don't forget and under attack.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like we're constander attack. It's not for no reason,
Speaker 2: Like this is why we have to go harder in
Speaker 2: the paint of the pleasure, you know, like really go
Speaker 2: to the barbecue, really laugh hard, really be like in love,
Speaker 2: really have meaningful relationships, really dance, you know, like really
Speaker 2: just experience live music, touch, vulnerability, just expression, creativity, like
Speaker 2: it all. It really is a blessing to be black
Speaker 2: in this time, in this age. And like don't get
Speaker 2: wrapped up in the in the bullshit because they're feeding
Speaker 2: at specific things because they know our enlightenment, in our
Speaker 2: connection is the judgment to the entire system.
Speaker 1: So like it's just yeah, it just feels like go time.
Speaker 1: That's what I keep feeling, Like just all your ideas,
Speaker 1: all your void like everything, all your opinions. It's not
Speaker 1: a time to shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2: No, it's not a time to shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1: Well, you need to shut the fuck with talking to everybody.
Speaker 2: I was to stop talking to people. I'm gonna talk here.
Speaker 1: But it's not a time to like silence your arts
Speaker 1: and your opinions. Like that's exactly what they're trying to
Speaker 1: do right now with so much And it's so beautiful
Speaker 1: to see like like black art creators like just pushing
Speaker 1: through and saying fuck you, fuck that. Like I just
Speaker 1: saw vic menso raise like twenty thousand dollars for like
Speaker 1: like fourteen hours for his short film. And it's just
Speaker 1: like that's what I'm talking about, like not waiting, not
Speaker 1: waiting on anybody, not like not waiting on the perfect time,
Speaker 1: the a perfect opportunity to take that solo trip, the
Speaker 1: perfect time to write the script, the perfect time to
Speaker 1: start your fucking podcast, perfect time to have your like
Speaker 1: whatever it is, or the perfect time to take a
Speaker 1: break because maybe you've been in goot season for a
Speaker 1: long time, like it's caliber, it's go time to do
Speaker 1: whatever is it is that is going to bring you
Speaker 1: in closer like communion with yourself because that's what's under attack.
Speaker 2: And also like you have to get rid of the
Speaker 2: rules in order to embody that. You have to like
Speaker 2: stop questioning yourself. You have to be more sexual, be
Speaker 2: more loud, whatever it is. Like even with the women
Speaker 2: I see like the pigmies and this weird era like
Speaker 2: of like this is not the time to pretend, Like
Speaker 2: this is not the time to just to like to
Speaker 2: be within the system because it's safe. It's the time
Speaker 2: to be wild and feral and like be all of yourselves,
Speaker 2: like in blackness and femininity, in womenhood because they are
Speaker 2: literally it's under attack. And like that's the thing with this,
Speaker 2: this whole movement too, is like once the marbles have
Speaker 2: come out of the fucking barrel, they can't go back in.
Speaker 2: Like you can't undo, like you can't undo rights. We've
Speaker 2: already experienced it, you know, So just be.
Speaker 1: More you yea, more love, more accepting, question your belief
Speaker 1: systems and you know, like you're not going to agree
Speaker 1: with everybody. I don't agree with everybody, but that doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that I have to degrade people or like downplay
Speaker 1: people's experiences and truths. And so it's just a matter
Speaker 1: of like being open hearted and helpful.
Speaker 2: And not accepting things just how they are, but.
Speaker 1: Being helpful, like to be better. Don't just be talking,
Speaker 1: just be talking, just for shut the fuck up. Okay. Anyway,
Speaker 1: thank you for going on this rant with us, on
Speaker 1: this journey as usual. We love you so so much.
Speaker 1: If you have a second, please go subscribe to this
Speaker 1: YouTube channel and also rate and review this podcast and
Speaker 1: check out the good vibrantreet. We're going to Costa Rica
Speaker 1: this summer. Come take your solo trip. You know I'm
Speaker 1: being brave. You'd be Brave with me, Come meet us,
Speaker 1: and we're doing a Momy and Me Retreat July fourteenth
Speaker 1: through the nineteenth and a Women's Retreat Retreat July twenty
Speaker 1: fourth through the twenty ninth, and it's fucking epic, so
Speaker 1: come through. You can follow me at watch Erica on Instagram.
Speaker 2: You can follow me at Mila Underscore map with the
Speaker 2: two piece We love you Thane