Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to hashtag Storytime, the podcast where I
Speaker 1: bring you everyday stories from everyday people, brought to you
Speaker 1: by I Heart Radio. I'm your host, will not Seth
Speaker 1: Rogan mc fadden, and that's right, I'm doing it. I'm
Speaker 1: calling you out Rogan, not Joe, Seth. We'll save Joe
Speaker 1: for another episode. Also, Fred Rogan, don't think I'm letting
Speaker 1: you off the hook. You probably don't know Fred Rogan
Speaker 1: is unless you live on the West Coast, but he's
Speaker 1: a beloved NBC sports anchor since whose son I also
Speaker 1: directed in a middle school production of Wizard of Oz.
Speaker 1: But that is neither here nor there. Let's get back
Speaker 1: to the beef. We're talking about Seth Rogan, who also
Speaker 1: released a podcast called story Time. What the fuck, dude,
Speaker 1: I wish you would have maybe checked if there was
Speaker 1: any other podcasts out there with that same name, but
Speaker 1: you didn't. So you know what, we added a hashtag
Speaker 1: to differentiate, and now we've got beef. We've got podcast beef,
Speaker 1: so hopefully that boost our numbers. Anyway, Today's episode is
Speaker 1: a spicy one. I mean you could say it's n
Speaker 1: s f W, which stands for not Safe for wooses.
Speaker 1: So to all my fable babies out there, if you
Speaker 1: were an actual baby, please take those adorable little headphones
Speaker 1: off and use your sub prime motor skills to choose
Speaker 1: something else to listen to, maybe RAFFI. I don't know
Speaker 1: what kids are into these days. Okay, now that they're gone,
Speaker 1: are you gone babies? Okay? Great, Now that the fucking
Speaker 1: babies are gone, let's talk about orgies. Yep, orgies. Apparently
Speaker 1: they're happening all the time, all over town, right under
Speaker 1: our noses. You know. I wonder how many orgies are
Speaker 1: happening right now within like a three yard radius. I
Speaker 1: bet there's at least two. I also wonder why I
Speaker 1: never get invited? How do these even come together? You know,
Speaker 1: like on an administrative level? How do they happen? Is
Speaker 1: there an app for this? Do they have like groupons
Speaker 1: for orgies? Oh wait, maybe I should start my own
Speaker 1: app called group on. I'm gonna be the next Zuckerberg
Speaker 1: of sex parties. Just wait, gross, I just envisioned Zuckerberg
Speaker 1: at a sex party. And look, I don't want to
Speaker 1: yuck anybody's young, but it zucks you're young, then yuck? Also,
Speaker 1: who am I kidding. I'm too lazy to start an app,
Speaker 1: even a sexy app. So why don't we hear from
Speaker 1: our wonderful guest, Katie Osborne also known as Katio also
Speaker 1: known as Katiosaurus. Katie is the co host of the
Speaker 1: Infinite Quest podcast. She's also a certified sex educator, and
Speaker 1: she speaks about neurodivergency on her TikTok. She's kind of
Speaker 1: a renaissance woman. Literally, she loves renfairs. Katie and I
Speaker 1: sat down and she told me a story that involves Shakespeare,
Speaker 1: rent sons fairs, and you guessed it core Ge. Wait sorry,
Speaker 1: that's a typo orgies. I mean I meant orgies. Okay,
Speaker 1: So yeah, Katie, Uh, tell me a story. Uh well,
Speaker 1: I would like to tell you the story of the
Speaker 1: time that I became a professional orgy organizer. I would
Speaker 1: love I would love to hear that story. All right,
Speaker 1: So the year is maybe because I'm very bad at dates,
Speaker 1: and it is summertime, and I'm working at a very
Speaker 1: small repertory Shakespeare company, uh somewhere in the Midwest. I'm
Speaker 1: going to anonymize a lot of this story because it's fine.
Speaker 1: And so there's a coffee I promise this story is
Speaker 1: going somewhere, but I like to tell the whole story.
Speaker 1: So there's a coffee shop that was like right across
Speaker 1: the street from the theater where I was working. And
Speaker 1: when we go to this coffee shop like every day,
Speaker 1: and there was this fabulous older woman who would come
Speaker 1: in and she was always just dressed to the nines
Speaker 1: and always looked just like tacular, and she was just
Speaker 1: like a presence. You know when you just meet somebody
Speaker 1: who's like a presence. She was a presence. Um. And
Speaker 1: so we got to talking and she introduced herself to me,
Speaker 1: and I want to anonimize her name, and we're gonna
Speaker 1: call her Susan for the duration of this just because
Speaker 1: I can um so Susan. So Susan and I like,
Speaker 1: we start seeing each other around this coffee shop, like
Speaker 1: you know, just you know, he does you having to
Speaker 1: your coffee shop friend and whatever. And so one day
Speaker 1: Susan comes comes in and she's looking a little distraught,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, Susan, what's going on? And
Speaker 1: Susan says, well, you know, it's just such a shame.
Speaker 1: I love to throw these dinner parties and and I
Speaker 1: have these dinner parties where I fight interesting people you know,
Speaker 1: from the community and from like other communities, and I
Speaker 1: bring them together and whatever, and um, I'm just having
Speaker 1: such a hard time, uh, filling the spots at this party.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, well that sucks. And She's like, well,
Speaker 1: do you want to come? And I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: not cool, Susan, Like I'm I'm just a Shakespeare intern.
Speaker 1: I don't deserve a spot at the table. And Susan
Speaker 1: was like, absolutely, yes, you do come to this party.
Speaker 1: So we show up at Susan's just lavish, luxurious, older
Speaker 1: lady house and like very important story, like just whatever
Speaker 1: you're picturing, like make it ten times more. Like we're
Speaker 1: talking gold tigers, we're talking plush carpeting, We're talking like
Speaker 1: just play like like a ludicrous amount of plants. It
Speaker 1: was just the best house, right, I'm picturing Susan as
Speaker 1: some combo of like Helen Mirren and like Rebecca from
Speaker 1: ted Lasso. Yes, that's honestly like dead on perfect um
Speaker 1: and so so so. Susan has like this just collection
Speaker 1: of all these like fabulous antiquities from her travels across
Speaker 1: the world. You know, she's one of these people, and
Speaker 1: she has this dining room table and it's just, you know,
Speaker 1: just this extravagant place settings and all these things. And
Speaker 1: she brings in artists, she brings in politicians, she brings
Speaker 1: in like the mayor, and like just all these things.
Speaker 1: And so over that summer, I got to be a
Speaker 1: regular at Susan's dinner parties. And so, uh, the next year,
Speaker 1: I go back to the same town. I'm working at
Speaker 1: the same theater, and Susan once again invites me over
Speaker 1: for the for the traditional you know, weekly dinner party,
Speaker 1: and uh, and one night we're all kind of like
Speaker 1: having drinks at her at her house afterwards, and and
Speaker 1: Susan was talking about her birthday party and how she
Speaker 1: was so frustrated about her birthday party because she was
Speaker 1: just she was trying to plan this party and she
Speaker 1: had no idea that it was going to be so complicated,
Speaker 1: and just like what is she going to do because
Speaker 1: it's like it's her it's her seventy fifth birthday, and
Speaker 1: she really wants it to be like a really big deal,
Speaker 1: and she's like really excited. I was like great, So
Speaker 1: I like I jokingly say, I say, well, Susan, you
Speaker 1: gotta get yourself a stage manager like me, and I'll
Speaker 1: you know, playing the party. And Susan kind of looks
Speaker 1: at me. She goes, that's actually not a bad idea,
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, you're hired, You're hired, and
Speaker 1: so Susan and so then Susan kind of like looks
Speaker 1: at me. She looks at a couple of other people
Speaker 1: in the room and they all kind of start giggling,
Speaker 1: and I was like what she as well, the thing
Speaker 1: is is um, it's not exactly what I would call
Speaker 1: She pauses for effect a traditional birthday party. And I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, like, what are we doing, like like,
Speaker 1: you know, uh piece of party, like bowling, laser texts,
Speaker 1: silly hats. What are we doing? And Susan's like, well,
Speaker 1: here's the thing. It's like all right, And Susan proceeds
Speaker 1: to explain to me that for the first seventy years
Speaker 1: of her life she had not been Susan. She had
Speaker 1: been John, and so at seventy years old, she had
Speaker 1: made the decision to have a gender affirming surgery and
Speaker 1: so that was her thing. And so as her sort
Speaker 1: of seventy fifth birthday came around, and she had been
Speaker 1: sort of finally being able to live as herself for
Speaker 1: the past five years, and she was really sort of
Speaker 1: starting to embrace like her sexuality and who she wasn't
Speaker 1: all of these wonderful things. She goes, I just want
Speaker 1: to have an orgy, and I was like, I didn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't know what to do because I
Speaker 1: had been raised very conservative, Like sex was terrifying, it
Speaker 1: was scary, it was bad, it was dirty, it was
Speaker 1: like all of these things. And I was like, well,
Speaker 1: I really like Susan and and I just okay, alright, cool,
Speaker 1: I'm a stage manager and I'm a consummate professional. Let's go.
Speaker 1: And so Susan and I proceeded to have about two
Speaker 1: weeks of meeting every couple of days to get the
Speaker 1: details in order for her for her birthday party, which
Speaker 1: for the rest of this, uh this story, whenever I
Speaker 1: say birthday party, just replace it with orgy in your brain. Okay.
Speaker 1: So she so she gives me this list of people
Speaker 1: who she knows are going to be interested in this
Speaker 1: orgy birthday party. And then she also was like, okay,
Speaker 1: but here's the thing, Like there's not enough people, Like
Speaker 1: there's nothing more embarrassing than not having enough people like
Speaker 1: your orgy. And I was like I know if I
Speaker 1: had a dollar, right, um, And so I write so
Speaker 1: like I started like looking on like fat life and
Speaker 1: like we make a sting and I'm like vetting people
Speaker 1: and I'm getting like st I like reports in the
Speaker 1: mail and like I have like a whole secret email
Speaker 1: accounts set up with like a fake name like this,
Speaker 1: like just like this whole thing. Also one question, how
Speaker 1: many people is not enough people? And how many people
Speaker 1: as too many people? That is an excellent question. What
Speaker 1: is the perfect thing? You know, because that's the thing
Speaker 1: is you want a good ratio. You want to you
Speaker 1: want a good ratio of folks, right, you don't want
Speaker 1: too many you know, you just would be weird, right.
Speaker 1: Want you want options? You want options too, but also
Speaker 1: not too many options. There's like a finesse to it.
Speaker 1: There's like a balance to this. If you got too
Speaker 1: many options, it's like Netflix or that. I'm just like
Speaker 1: scrolling and scrolling and scrolling. I don't know what to pick.
Speaker 1: Great and so and it was this wonderful thing where
Speaker 1: like uh like going into this party, the like jams
Speaker 1: were like very important. We're like, Okay, what are the plates, Like,
Speaker 1: what's the playlists gonna be? Where the jam is going
Speaker 1: to be? And we kept focusing on the you know,
Speaker 1: so I have like a Spotify playlist and then you know,
Speaker 1: nothing but meat Loaf, right, just that the whole time.
Speaker 1: So then so then she was was like, Okay, well
Speaker 1: I think we were like about said on the guest list,
Speaker 1: but like now we got to get like the OCCU
Speaker 1: tramlet for the party. Right, So this this fabulous bitch
Speaker 1: gives me like five hundred dollars in cash and she
Speaker 1: sends me to like the local CBS, because I want
Speaker 1: to be very clear, this is a small town in
Speaker 1: the Midwest, Like this is not like you know, big
Speaker 1: town USA. And so she sends me and they got
Speaker 1: like five and I'm just like a's CBS, like just
Speaker 1: putting all the lube and condoms just in a bag
Speaker 1: and I'm getting like gatorade and like orange slices and
Speaker 1: toastitos and ship like it was like a weird soccer right. Well,
Speaker 1: And that was the thing. It's like, I literally because
Speaker 1: I was a stage manager and because of just like
Speaker 1: how my brain works in terms of event planning, I
Speaker 1: was like snacks. We have to have chance, we have
Speaker 1: to have snacks, and we have to have you know,
Speaker 1: cool cool folks. For the origins to the end aids,
Speaker 1: I mean so like so much planning. When I was singing,
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, cool, so um. So I'm
Speaker 1: really nervous because first off, I have this very weird
Speaker 1: connection with my sexuality, like I don't really know who
Speaker 1: I am yet. I'm just kind of like sex is
Speaker 1: scary and weird, and I'm about to go to a
Speaker 1: party that's just like all sex all the time, and
Speaker 1: so not only go to stage manage, stage manage and
Speaker 1: orgy Like I'm about to stage manage my first orgy.
Speaker 1: Step Susan enter stage left too. Well, it's funny you
Speaker 1: mentioned that because that was the next part of the story.
Speaker 1: So Susan makes it very clear she has like two
Speaker 1: wishes for this party. Like wish number one is she
Speaker 1: wants everybody to be safe, if she wants everybody be comfortable,
Speaker 1: and like, so we plan right, and so at the
Speaker 1: at the beginning of the party, like everybody gathers into
Speaker 1: this room and they brought like this big like motorcycle
Speaker 1: gang looking dude in and he was like no, listen
Speaker 1: like but it was so funny because like he just
Speaker 1: like yelled. He was just like respect and consent, and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh god, I'm so scared. I be like,
Speaker 1: oh God. And then I was like and hey, everybody
Speaker 1: just say no. So there are there's gatorade over on
Speaker 1: the counter, and I've got like my little clipboard. I
Speaker 1: had an earpiece. It wasn't connected to anything, but it
Speaker 1: made me feel important, right, and so so I'm checking
Speaker 1: people in and all this stuff. But Susan's second wish,
Speaker 1: are you also wearing a Venetian mask at this point?
Speaker 1: I was, We were not. There were no There were
Speaker 1: actually a couple of people who did show up in
Speaker 1: Venetian masks, but I was. I was in stage black.
Speaker 1: It was I just it just felt right. So so
Speaker 1: so Susan's like secondary wish for this party was she
Speaker 1: wanted an entrance, like she wanted an entrance. Um and
Speaker 1: so at the stroke of hpm, like literally grandfather clock
Speaker 1: sound effects. There was no Grandfather clock, but we made
Speaker 1: it happen. Shimes, right, music, whatever, and Susan just descends
Speaker 1: the staircase of this this house in this glorious like
Speaker 1: old Timmy Hollywood robe and she like stops like on
Speaker 1: like the center stare and she like slowly like pulls
Speaker 1: the belt off, and I was like, oh ship, oh shoot,
Speaker 1: I'm about to see a naked lady for the first
Speaker 1: time in my life except for you know, except for
Speaker 1: me and so. And she just dropped it like just
Speaker 1: so elegantly. She's like, let it fall, just like let
Speaker 1: it fall. Yes. And that was also when I found
Speaker 1: out that she had a dinosaur tattoo, which will also
Speaker 1: become important to the story later on. Um. So she's
Speaker 1: standing there like naked on the stairs and she just
Speaker 1: like puts her hands up in the air like it's
Speaker 1: goddamn Sunset Boulevard and she's like, welcome to the greatest
Speaker 1: party of your lives. And that is how like, I
Speaker 1: want to be very clear, that's also how she talked.
Speaker 1: And it was wonderful. Um and so I was like, okay, cool. So,
Speaker 1: so then the orgy starts, and I just want to
Speaker 1: be very clear, Once an orgy starts, there's not a
Speaker 1: lot to report, like like it's exactly what you think
Speaker 1: is happening. It's just it's just you know, it's fine.
Speaker 1: And so I'm sitting there with my like my little
Speaker 1: basket of like condoms and like Lupe, and I'm like
Speaker 1: hot towel and gatorant and orange slices. I'm just like
Speaker 1: soccer momm ng the ship out of this event. And
Speaker 1: so this guy comes up to me like midway through
Speaker 1: the party and he's like, hey, I just wants you
Speaker 1: to know that you're really pretty. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: thanks so much. I really appreciate it. He's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: so do you come to parties like this often? I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, no, like this is my
Speaker 1: first time. Like I was like, I'm actually just like
Speaker 1: helping Susan run the party, like as a favor. And
Speaker 1: he's like, oh, cool, cool, cool, cool cool cool cool.
Speaker 1: So you so you you plan? You do you party plan?
Speaker 1: Like you kind of do do this kind of party planning.
Speaker 1: And I was like and all of a sudden, I
Speaker 1: don't know what it was. I don't know what divine
Speaker 1: inspiration happened. I don't know what like moment of genius occurred,
Speaker 1: but I my brain just went say, yes, you're gonna
Speaker 1: make money, right business opportunity. Yeah. So I was like
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, you know, I dabble like I'm
Speaker 1: just trying to sound cool. So so I tell this guy, yeah,
Speaker 1: and I give him my card and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, you know, like I'm only around like
Speaker 1: for like parts of the year because like I worked
Speaker 1: with this company. He's like, oh, yeah, no problem, no problem.
Speaker 1: And so then a couple of months later, like you,
Speaker 1: we can flesh out the rest of the story if
Speaker 1: you if you want to know about it. But that's
Speaker 1: that's the most the party part. Pun intended flesh out
Speaker 1: the rest of your welcome. What I do want to
Speaker 1: just find out is did Susan have the party effort?
Speaker 1: Was it? Did it live up? Susan had a very
Speaker 1: good time. She had a very she had a time,
Speaker 1: a time so good that it literally changed me as
Speaker 1: a person forever. And I'm not being facetious, like genuinely,
Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, cool, Um, well, yes, I
Speaker 1: kissed a lady. That was the first night I ever
Speaker 1: kissed a lady. I got very bold at the end
Speaker 1: of the night and I smoothed a lady. It was
Speaker 1: very it was very exciting. Um and so, but a
Speaker 1: couple of months later, I get an email from like
Speaker 1: this like very anonymous count like, hey, so I heard
Speaker 1: that you might be a person who plans part and
Speaker 1: I was like this is so sketchy like this, and
Speaker 1: I was like, yes, I planned, I'm stage manager. We've
Speaker 1: been planning. So do you happen to be a friend
Speaker 1: of Susan? And then they emailed back there like yes.
Speaker 1: And so then for like five years, are you a
Speaker 1: friend of Susan? Became like code. It was like a
Speaker 1: secret code in my life and people would like email
Speaker 1: me and be like party for a friend of Susan.
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, great, and so I make
Speaker 1: business cards that just said friend of Susan. I did not,
Speaker 1: but now I regret it a friend of Susan Entertainment
Speaker 1: and so it was like and so yeah and so
Speaker 1: I and so I started like on the downlow planning
Speaker 1: like kink and B D S M and like orgy
Speaker 1: parties for people all over the Midwest. Um. And then yeah, right,
Speaker 1: and that was my secret summer job while I was
Speaker 1: working as an intern at the Shakespeare Festival because they
Speaker 1: didn't pay any money, and so I was like I
Speaker 1: really wanted to work there and I really loved doing Shakespeare. Um,
Speaker 1: but I was like, I need money, and so that
Speaker 1: was how I did that for four or five years.
Speaker 1: And then after that I went to grad school. And
Speaker 1: grad school is where I became a professional dominatrix because
Speaker 1: of all of that. Um and so that's how I
Speaker 1: put myself through grad school. Um. And now I'm a
Speaker 1: certified sex educator. And I talked about diversity and kink
Speaker 1: and d d H Day and stuff on the Internet.
Speaker 1: And it's all because of Susan. Your LinkedIn is so fascinating.
Speaker 1: I don't even have a Lincoln. It would just be
Speaker 1: like five years as it feels illegal for me to have.
Speaker 1: I think you should think. I think we should start
Speaker 1: a LinkedIn for I think I think you would win LinkedIn.
Speaker 1: I might, I might, um but so but so. Actually,
Speaker 1: the reason why this story was on my mind was
Speaker 1: because a couple of months ago, Susan passed away and
Speaker 1: uh and so in a or of Susan I got
Speaker 1: after being Katiosaurus for a very long time, which slightly
Speaker 1: inspired by Susan, like not all the way, but like
Speaker 1: I just I always remember that dinosaur tattoo. Now I
Speaker 1: have one of my own. It's right here. I mean,
Speaker 1: you can't see it. On the podcast. But and uh,
Speaker 1: and it's actually the same one that she had. I
Speaker 1: had the tattoo artist. I found a picture of it
Speaker 1: and I had them replicated. And so I have a
Speaker 1: little memory of Susan is the first person to introduce
Speaker 1: me to like sex and kink in the beautiful world
Speaker 1: of sex. And here I am opened the whole world
Speaker 1: up to it. Did it really? Did it was? It
Speaker 1: was a very interesting night. I can imagine. Well, I
Speaker 1: love that. I love that you got that tattooed to
Speaker 1: honor Susan. And yeah, that's such a wild wild that
Speaker 1: you have, right, But my life is very I guess
Speaker 1: my last question is, um, I have a birthday coming up,
Speaker 1: and I'm just kidding. Yeah, sure a will I mean,
Speaker 1: if you want to hire me one percent. I'm very
Speaker 1: good at it now. I got very efficient at it.
Speaker 1: Like I had systems, I had spreadsheets, I'd checklist, I'd
Speaker 1: like setlists, I'd call times like everybody get called times
Speaker 1: and ship like I ran that ship like it was
Speaker 1: a goddamn production to hand. Like. It makes so much
Speaker 1: sense that that a stage manager would would have the
Speaker 1: necessary skills to also produce an orgy A shocking amount
Speaker 1: of crossover between running an orgy and running a renaissance festival,
Speaker 1: which is what I did before the pandemic. It's the
Speaker 1: same thing, just with less sex. But there's the same
Speaker 1: amount of coordination, honestly, and for an actor, you know,
Speaker 1: like there's nerves before the show. You gotta warm up,
Speaker 1: you gotta stretch, you gotta like loosen up, you know,
Speaker 1: and then the show is essentially the sex. The show
Speaker 1: is just the sex. Yeah, and it's like and who's
Speaker 1: bringing the snacks, who's taking out the garbage? Like what's
Speaker 1: the dress code at the end? Clap it up for everyone?
Speaker 1: Interpersonal communication, you know, because there's always like the one
Speaker 1: x like shows up that you know, and then they're like,
Speaker 1: oh no, well Bill's here, I gotta go, and you're like, no,
Speaker 1: just going. You know, there's a lot of there's a
Speaker 1: lot of consoling excess that happened in that job. Oh
Speaker 1: I can imagine. Yeah, Like, yeah, the crossover of xs
Speaker 1: has got to be a lot of a lot of
Speaker 1: crossover in the orgy community. It's a tight knit community,
Speaker 1: it's true, but I mean the most like I've told
Speaker 1: this story like a couple of times, like parties and stuff,
Speaker 1: and the real thing that I think people are like
Speaker 1: fascinated bias. There's always one person who goes so like,
Speaker 1: how many orgies happen like just around me, like like
Speaker 1: like without and I'm like, far more than you think,
Speaker 1: far more, far more orgies are happening around you at
Speaker 1: any given time than you might ever ever know. You're
Speaker 1: just yeah, you're just not getting the right invites. It's
Speaker 1: it's like spiders. There's the every orgy within eight feet
Speaker 1: of you at all times. Statistically, sometimes they crawl in
Speaker 1: your mouth when you sleep. Now, that is a birthday party,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. When I'm in my mid seventies,
Speaker 1: I hope I have half of Susan stamina. Hopefully she's
Speaker 1: in heaven right now having an amazing orgy with like
Speaker 1: Abraham Lincoln and Joan of arc and you know, maybe
Speaker 1: Bob Ross. I feel like he's got a big one. Anyway.
Speaker 1: Thanks to Katie for sharing that story. Make sure to
Speaker 1: check out her podcast, The Infinite Quest Podcast, and follower
Speaker 1: on Instagram and TikTok at Katie o Saurus. All those
Speaker 1: links are in the description. So way back in I
Speaker 1: took a little trip to New York City the City
Speaker 1: of Angels, as I think some people call it. And
Speaker 1: I hosted the first ever hashtag Storytime Live story Okey
Speaker 1: Jam at the world famous three six eight Studios, and
Speaker 1: a lot of Fable babies came out and shared some
Speaker 1: truly delightful tales. It was a lovely evening. And here
Speaker 1: is one of my faves from Julianne Mora, who shares
Speaker 1: a tale about young love worms and an overprotective mother.
Speaker 1: In elementary school, I had a lot of secret admirers,
Speaker 1: like more than I do now, Like people were in
Speaker 1: love with me when I was like second grade through
Speaker 1: fiveth um and of course classic this boy in my
Speaker 1: class was like obsessed with me. You wanted to hold
Speaker 1: my hand, play with my hair. I was like, get
Speaker 1: away from me. Um. I still remember his name, ab
Speaker 1: Dion Abdion Um. And he would, you know, do strange things.
Speaker 1: He would like his sister was also obsessed with me
Speaker 1: and would follow me to the bathroom. But that's a
Speaker 1: whole another thing. And he would draw stick figures of us,
Speaker 1: like making out. I just want to say this was
Speaker 1: second grade, like highly inappropriate. I was like, okay, I
Speaker 1: actually found a pair of scissors with his name on
Speaker 1: it like quite a few years ago. So I wonder
Speaker 1: where he is today. Um yeah, So he did very
Speaker 1: strange things, would just like bring me presents and stuff.
Speaker 1: And I was in a Catholic school. We're doing our
Speaker 1: prayers and he's like passing me like a love letter
Speaker 1: as like the third one this week, along with a
Speaker 1: ring that looks very expensive, a pearl necklace and this
Speaker 1: little pin of a worm and a tuxedo with flowers.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh cute, and I put that
Speaker 1: on my my uniform like immediately and whatever. I'm rocking
Speaker 1: out in my pearl necklace ring that's like ginormous, doesn't
Speaker 1: fit my hand. Whatever. Um I get home, Oh, I
Speaker 1: see my parents in the schoolyard. My mother rips the
Speaker 1: pin off of me. Immediately, I'm like what the hell, hater?
Speaker 1: And then later she's like calling his mom. She's like,
Speaker 1: this ring looks expensively. Did he take this from your
Speaker 1: jewelry box? Is this okay? All that? You know? I'm
Speaker 1: like crying because she's taking my things away. I didn't
Speaker 1: even really like the kid, but I was upset and
Speaker 1: um yeah, and that's just like a memory I had,
Speaker 1: and like I really remember that this pin was like
Speaker 1: a little worm with a little tuxedo, and I just
Speaker 1: it was so distinct, And then like fast forward, it's
Speaker 1: like sophomore ere in high school. Randomly we're talking about it,
Speaker 1: and my mom's like, oh, you know what. It actually
Speaker 1: was a penis from a bachelorette party pin that I
Speaker 1: wore all day in my Catholic school. No one said anything,
Speaker 1: but you know what, I I swear it was a worm.
Speaker 1: It looked exactly like a worm. Thank you. I feel
Speaker 1: like common common mistake. Look, all I want to say
Speaker 1: is if my kid ever comes home with a dick pin,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying a damn thing. You need to learn
Speaker 1: those lessons on your own kid. Do you have a
Speaker 1: cringe e story you want to share with all of
Speaker 1: your best friends on the hashtag Storytime pod, Well call
Speaker 1: the story Time Hotline at three two, three, one eight
Speaker 1: seven to three. Also make sure to hit that subscribe
Speaker 1: button so you don't miss next week's episode with the
Speaker 1: fantastic Ben Bolan. You know him from Ridiculous history and stuff.
Speaker 1: They don't want you to know. Here's a sneaky, little
Speaker 1: peaky I'm talking um to my wife at the time,
Speaker 1: and I say, I feel like, I know every country
Speaker 1: has a stereotype, and I know stereotypes are the source
Speaker 1: of terrible, terrible things, But do these German folks seem
Speaker 1: a little bit kind of like cold? Do you well,
Speaker 1: a little brusque? Well, that does it? Thanks for lending
Speaker 1: me your ears for this episode of Hashtag Storytime. I'd
Speaker 1: love to give another heartfelt thank you to Katie for
Speaker 1: being on the podcast. Head on down to the description
Speaker 1: for links to all things Katiosaurus and if you're enjoying
Speaker 1: the podcast, please leave us a review. It helps us
Speaker 1: out a lot and I literally read every single one
Speaker 1: of them. Hashtag story Time is produced by I Heart
Speaker 1: Radio and Curative Many productions. Hosted by Will McFadden. Sound
Speaker 1: designed by Tony Mannix Tody sound designed by Tony maddox,
Speaker 1: Written by Will McFadden and Jason Shapiro, Produced by Jason Shapiro,
Speaker 1: daniel Le Mora and Jordan Elijah Michael. Theme song by
Speaker 1: Scott Simons. Artwork by John Kusaga.