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Speaker 1: This week at the Parlor Live Comedy Club from in

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Speaker 1: Living Color, David Ellen Greer March twenty seventh through the

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Speaker 1: twenty ninth. Tickets are available at Parlorlive dot com and

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Speaker 1: you can call four two five two eight nine seven

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Speaker 1: thousand days on the twenties five. Hello. Hello, is Alison there? Yes,

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Speaker 1: this is Alison. Hi Alison, this is Casey Ryback. I'm

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Speaker 1: calling from the university. How are you today? Good? How

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Speaker 1: are you? I'm okay? Listen. I heard you met with

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Speaker 1: a few of our counselors regarding graduation. Yeah, everything is great.

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Speaker 1: They were really nice and uh I am good to

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Speaker 1: walk for for graduation to be committed. I'm calling you

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Speaker 1: to let you know. Unfortunately, that is not going to

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Speaker 1: be possible. I'm sorry, Uh wait, why is it that possible? Why? Well,

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Speaker 1: after talking to the counselors you met with, we here

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Speaker 1: at the university just don't think it's in our best

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Speaker 1: interest if you graduate from our school. Well do you

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Speaker 1: mean your best interest to graduate? I've done everything I

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Speaker 1: need to do to graduate. That's that's of your best interest. Unfortunately, No, listen,

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Speaker 1: I know this is going to be sort of an

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Speaker 1: awkward conversation. It's just that we have all decided it

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Speaker 1: might reflect poorly on the institution if you have a

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Speaker 1: degree from here. You see what I'm saying. No, I don't,

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Speaker 1: I don't, I don't. All right, let me let me

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Speaker 1: say this in maybe some terms that you can understand.

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Speaker 1: I think I know what the problem is. You know,

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Speaker 1: can have paper that say you went school here that

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Speaker 1: what are you saying? Well, no, I'm not saying that

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Speaker 1: you're stupid. As far as the university is concerned, publicly,

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Speaker 1: we would never say on the record that we think

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Speaker 1: you're stupid. That would be a poor decision on our part.

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Speaker 1: I don't even believe what I'm hearing right now. That

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Speaker 1: honestly doesn't surprise me much. I have never in my

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Speaker 1: life experience something as stupid as this. Okay, you have

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Speaker 1: caused me and said that I am not smart enough

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Speaker 1: to beat your school. Kind of a dumb idiot is

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Speaker 1: signed up to be the one to say that you

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Speaker 1: that you this is your job. Are you done yet?

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Speaker 1: Are you done yet? I'm not I'm not done though. Okay.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't asking if you were dumb. I was asking

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Speaker 1: if you're dumb. I heard you. Okay, I have zero

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Speaker 1: to have more to say. I have absolute fools and

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Speaker 1: ever want to speak to you again. If you're going

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Speaker 1: to school, to talk to the counselors and get somebody

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Speaker 1: who actually knows what the hell they're talking about them

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Speaker 1: some fool people up to let them know why, Alison,

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Speaker 1: Let's use our words wisely here. Okay, I think, not

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Speaker 1: condescend to me. Do not talk to me like I'm

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Speaker 1: in preschool. I know exactly what I have to graduate.

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Speaker 1: I have put everything in order, and you are one

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Speaker 1: of the most at you just Alison, Alison, I gotta

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Speaker 1: tell you, I'm worried about you. You just put together

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Speaker 1: a string of really big words really fast. Who are you?

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Speaker 1: You might you might want to sit down, and we're

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Speaker 1: not going to sit on I am going to hang

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Speaker 1: up right now and I'm gonna talk to somebody who

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Speaker 1: actually knows what the hell is talking they're talking about.

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Speaker 1: I was just about to offer to pay for your

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Speaker 1: entire schooling. You're gonna pay for what I've done listening

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Speaker 1: to you. You will will reimburse you for all the

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Speaker 1: time you spent here at the university. And we'll call

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Speaker 1: our people at the University of Phoenix because we feel

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Speaker 1: like that would be a much better fit for you.

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Speaker 1: You un it's a very very good school. I was

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Speaker 1: able to prink call you. I did do that. What. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is actually Jewel from Brook and Jewil in the morning.

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Speaker 1: I'm moving ninety two point five doing a phone tap

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Speaker 1: on you. Yeah, your brother Jeff set you up. Oh

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Speaker 1: this is so embarrassing. I can graduate. Everything is fine. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I will allow you to graduate from the University of

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Speaker 1: Phoenix if you'd like. Thank you. Wake up every morning

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Speaker 1: with Jubal Funk taps weekday mornings on the twenties. Call

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Speaker 1: now to win two hundred and fifty bucks one eight

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Speaker 1: six six, moving ninety two five. No no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: no no