1 00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:05,399 Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast. 2 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:11,680 Speaker 2: All Right guys, Part two, Welcome ladies and Mike to 3 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:13,040 Speaker 2: the podcast. 4 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:18,360 Speaker 3: Hello, Hey him, Mike, Hi, Hello Michael. 5 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:20,959 Speaker 1: The first time I looked into your eyes, oh god, 6 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:21,480 Speaker 1: I can't. 7 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,400 Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I know you guys have had 8 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:24,720 Speaker 3: a few. 9 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,800 Speaker 4: Well, I feel like we're both similar in that sense, 10 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,560 Speaker 4: a little bit like where we both kind of want 11 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:31,960 Speaker 4: to avoid each other and don't look at each other's eyes. 12 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 1: It's like, it's like when we saw each other at 13 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:38,800 Speaker 1: the movie theater. Do you remember that? You don't remember that? 14 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:39,479 Speaker 1: It was awful. 15 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:41,800 Speaker 5: I saw It. 16 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:43,160 Speaker 1: Was like we were both there with the kids. 17 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:45,519 Speaker 4: I was like, hey Joie, Hey Jace, and then I 18 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:47,320 Speaker 4: like run away and then we go up to the 19 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:49,199 Speaker 4: register and the hands up the one right next to me. 20 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 5: Ago. 21 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:53,519 Speaker 1: It was I think it's the first time I really 22 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:54,520 Speaker 1: saw you though, Yeah, I. 23 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:58,520 Speaker 3: Think so, this is really my first time seeing Mike really. Yeah. 24 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,720 Speaker 3: I'm not on the soccer circuit. I'm not in the 25 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 3: movie theater, and so we have not seen each other. 26 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 2: Well, it's been we were saying an episode, first episode, 27 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 2: how it's been two and a half years. I mean 28 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:13,119 Speaker 2: since we even did you know we've we were married. 29 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,399 Speaker 2: It's it's been a minute. 30 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:18,120 Speaker 4: That's crazy. It's crazy. It kind of feels like yesterday 31 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 4: and also a lifetime ago. Honestly, No, there's yeah, we 32 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 4: have two babies to show for it. So it had 33 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:23,280 Speaker 4: to be. 34 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 1: All right, everybody raise your head. 35 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:34,280 Speaker 3: If you're wildly uncomfortable. Right, I have a question to 36 00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 3: open it up. Why does Mike dig wear his shoes 37 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:42,680 Speaker 3: in here? And we do? Oh, you're not new. 38 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:45,000 Speaker 1: For the comedy relie. 39 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,680 Speaker 3: We got to do something. Uh. 40 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 2: So I think a big piece of divorce is divorce 41 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 2: and friendships as well. 42 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:55,000 Speaker 3: And so. 43 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:59,559 Speaker 2: Obviously, something that I was going to say and when 44 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:01,320 Speaker 2: I was talking with the girls early on the first 45 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 2: podcast was in a way we've uh we have a 46 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:13,120 Speaker 2: great relationship now a new relationship. And I always wondered 47 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:14,639 Speaker 2: if it was hard for the girls because all of 48 00:02:14,639 --> 00:02:16,280 Speaker 2: a sudden, like okay, Mike and Air good, but like 49 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:18,080 Speaker 2: we need to be good because for the kids. But 50 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,840 Speaker 2: you guys have had your whords. Yeah, we're like what 51 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:21,679 Speaker 2: about us and Mike? 52 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 3: And so it's I'm like. 53 00:02:25,919 --> 00:02:26,840 Speaker 1: Christal a little bit. 54 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I think it's hard because it's like 55 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 2: they were your friends too, but you just you know, 56 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 2: when people leave divorces, it's we people friends kind of 57 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:38,640 Speaker 2: separate a little bit, right, and that can be hard 58 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:44,120 Speaker 2: for all parties involved, exactly, especially when things can. 59 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 3: Be uncomfortable, like at the moment. Want to. 60 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 1: Know, I guess not. 61 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,600 Speaker 3: All right, Well this is a great thirty message. Okay, 62 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,600 Speaker 3: Well I have a question that maybe well it's going 63 00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 3: to go we'll go in fast. But it relates to that, okay, 64 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:01,200 Speaker 3: because the last tame, last time I think I actually 65 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:07,920 Speaker 3: saw you was in your old home, and it is 66 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,840 Speaker 3: absolutely incredible to me that I could avoid someone as 67 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,600 Speaker 3: big as you as much as I did, Like you 68 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 3: did not exist to me, and that was hard for me, 69 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:18,360 Speaker 3: because you know me enough to know that's hard for me. 70 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:19,680 Speaker 5: Yes. 71 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:26,600 Speaker 3: I also I was telling kat this I in the 72 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:30,919 Speaker 3: compassion human part of me because I'm very much Janna 73 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,600 Speaker 3: first like you, and we've all talked about this on 74 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:34,600 Speaker 3: wine Down before that. 75 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 2: I loved you as long as Janna loved you. Jane 76 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:39,160 Speaker 2: didn't love you. 77 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 3: I was getting the garbage bags and extra set of 78 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,839 Speaker 3: hands because you're a big guy. Correct, Okay, read about 79 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 3: that in the good fight we did. Yeah, so, but 80 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,920 Speaker 3: in the compassionate part of me, I also know a 81 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 3: lot about you from us being on the road and 82 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 3: being friends, and I know your history, and I know 83 00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:59,160 Speaker 3: fourteen year old Mike and what has set the tone 84 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 3: for fourteen year old Mike's life and the habits that 85 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:06,120 Speaker 3: fourteen year old Mike picked up that had stayed with 86 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:11,080 Speaker 3: him through marriage. And so the compassionate part of me 87 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:15,560 Speaker 3: wants to know, how did it feel when you watch 88 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,920 Speaker 3: it all dismantled the way it dismantled, because it was 89 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:24,960 Speaker 3: it feels to me quick once it was decided, it 90 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:31,360 Speaker 3: was like we're moving you out. You are like it 91 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 3: just was. It just happened so fast that I also 92 00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:37,640 Speaker 3: wondered was there a moment in your walk, because we 93 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:40,440 Speaker 3: hear about Jamna's walk, But was there a moment where 94 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:44,760 Speaker 3: you thought, I'm really just watching this all fall apart 95 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:48,640 Speaker 3: like my friends are, because there's a guy group at 96 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:51,760 Speaker 3: that point, there's a husband group, there's you know, I've 97 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 3: been on Wine Down with you and Jana. We've been 98 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,719 Speaker 3: driving through Texas. We had a two tall mic series, 99 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,120 Speaker 3: like we've had these histories with each other, and all 100 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:00,880 Speaker 3: of a sudden, all of the people that have like 101 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:04,599 Speaker 3: brought you into the fold. Are also like drawbridge is up. 102 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:06,280 Speaker 3: God saved the Queen. 103 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:15,280 Speaker 5: Yeah, that's exactly how it felt good, right, No, none 104 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:18,120 Speaker 5: of that's a surprise to me. That's the thing. It's like, 105 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:26,719 Speaker 5: as much as we were all friends too, I knew that, yeah, right, 106 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 5: But that's part of all, even going back to nine 107 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:35,280 Speaker 5: years ago when I first moved here for Jana, right, Like, 108 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:38,120 Speaker 5: it's just I left all of my people, my friends, 109 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:41,760 Speaker 5: and so I knew immediately everyone that I became friends 110 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:46,480 Speaker 5: with we're going to be attached to Janna. It's hard 111 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,600 Speaker 5: to go back because it does, like Catherine said, it 112 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 5: feels like yesterday, but also ten years ago, two and 113 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:57,440 Speaker 5: a half years ago, and a lot has changed since then, 114 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:04,320 Speaker 5: so it's hard to really recall exactly what I was feeling. 115 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:11,800 Speaker 5: I just knew the difference at that point was as 116 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:13,800 Speaker 5: bad as it was and painful as it was for everyone, 117 00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 5: I was like, this, this just has to happen a 118 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:29,920 Speaker 5: little relieving, partly terrifying, isolating. I was felt completely alone, 119 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:37,440 Speaker 5: but it needed to happen. And one thing that's coming 120 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:41,839 Speaker 5: up for me now that I said to my therapist, 121 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:48,560 Speaker 5: then to my my, my men's groups, my whatever, I don't. 122 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:51,840 Speaker 5: I don't say this necessarily with pride. I say it 123 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:59,239 Speaker 5: to affirm how badly that needed to happen. I didn't 124 00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:05,039 Speaker 5: shed a tear year after we separated and divorced, not 125 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:10,400 Speaker 5: because I didn't care. I truly believed. I was like, 126 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:14,440 Speaker 5: because this is unlike me. I'm still an emotional person. 127 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:18,480 Speaker 5: I've always been like an emotional person, but I physically 128 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:22,920 Speaker 5: couldn't cry. And what that was telling me was like, 129 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:28,040 Speaker 5: God is like literally hardening my heart right now. He's like, 130 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 5: I got to get you, you guys out of this cycle, 131 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:38,200 Speaker 5: because that's helping nobody. It's not helping Jana, it's not 132 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:41,000 Speaker 5: helping you, not helping your kids, not helping your families, 133 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:53,239 Speaker 5: your friends, nobody. And that lasted for a long time 134 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,080 Speaker 5: where it just no matter how much I talked about 135 00:07:57,120 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 5: it from a therapeutical standpoint, spiritual standpoint, I just never 136 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 5: really purged that emotion because it was something bigger than myself. 137 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,520 Speaker 5: Not to get hokey on it, but spiritually it was 138 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 5: something bigger than me. To be like this is ending now. Period. 139 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,960 Speaker 3: You don't think it's a detachment because you do have 140 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 3: a history of detaching, right. 141 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,840 Speaker 5: And I know the difference. That's that's the thing where 142 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,720 Speaker 5: it's like, Okay, this is this is different. This isn't 143 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:28,880 Speaker 5: me detaching to save myself. This is out of my hands. 144 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:31,080 Speaker 5: At this point, I can kind of. 145 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,559 Speaker 2: I mean, I don't relate to the not crying piece 146 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:39,200 Speaker 2: I was like or on crid bo days, but the 147 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:43,000 Speaker 2: moment that I worried about in the laundry, why didn't 148 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 2: we didn't fight back? 149 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:44,880 Speaker 3: I didn't fight back. 150 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:49,400 Speaker 2: That was my that moment for you where I was like, oh, 151 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:54,280 Speaker 2: it's done because the fight was gone, and that was 152 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:55,880 Speaker 2: like that I can so I can relate to that 153 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,360 Speaker 2: moment too, or it's like a yeah. 154 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:02,439 Speaker 4: We did you Did you ever feel when y'all were 155 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:06,080 Speaker 4: going through this though that it was toxic and then 156 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:06,920 Speaker 4: it needed to end? 157 00:09:07,559 --> 00:09:08,760 Speaker 1: Did you ever feel that way? 158 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:17,160 Speaker 5: Yeah? Of course, Yeah definitely. But at that point, part 159 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,640 Speaker 5: of me didn't know what was real and what was 160 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:25,440 Speaker 5: not sure right, because so much of our identity was 161 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:34,640 Speaker 5: that it's like Mike messes up poor Janna, same narrative, 162 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:39,320 Speaker 5: different time of year. Uh, we talk about it, we 163 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:40,960 Speaker 5: write about it, we do all these things, we do 164 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,760 Speaker 5: work on it, and it was just like this cyclical 165 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:48,880 Speaker 5: lifestyle that we were never getting out of. 166 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:52,280 Speaker 3: But the piece of that that was repetitive was you 167 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:54,440 Speaker 3: also me. 168 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:57,520 Speaker 2: I couldn't like, I don't want to just like give 169 00:09:57,559 --> 00:09:59,840 Speaker 2: it all Mike. But it's hard turn to ask Mike no, 170 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,400 Speaker 2: But I think it was. It's not totally fair just 171 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:05,160 Speaker 2: to put that no no. But the pattern of the 172 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:07,640 Speaker 2: that's what I'm saying, that was yes him, and then 173 00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:10,760 Speaker 2: it would bring out But I told you the anxious attachment. 174 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:15,199 Speaker 2: I've said that to you. I'm kind of protection a 175 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:15,679 Speaker 2: little bit. 176 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:19,240 Speaker 3: That's fine. Mike's not really scared of me, let's be honest. 177 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 2: But I'm just patterns, but also in the in his 178 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:30,120 Speaker 2: patterns without without his patterns and with his patterns here. 179 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:38,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just this is the cause and effect I'm talking. 180 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 3: I'm trying to get out of those no like I mean, 181 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,199 Speaker 3: I'm just I'm also asking questions that listeners would want 182 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:45,439 Speaker 3: to know. You guys were on this, This was your 183 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:49,640 Speaker 3: show for a long time, and you know, like people 184 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:51,959 Speaker 3: want to know that stuff, like because that is how 185 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,880 Speaker 3: it looked. It looked like you do this. This happens, 186 00:10:55,160 --> 00:11:00,680 Speaker 3: there's apology, Jana cries, you know, but I saw and 187 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:02,640 Speaker 3: I said this to Jana before, and I've said it 188 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:04,960 Speaker 3: to you, like I always thought you guys would be 189 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:07,600 Speaker 3: the best of friends. I always saw you as best friends. 190 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,720 Speaker 3: I was like, if you guys could just get it 191 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:15,120 Speaker 3: together on the marriage side, I just knew it would 192 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:18,920 Speaker 3: be epic. Like I've always seen you as homies. So 193 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:22,640 Speaker 3: that I think was That's kind of the thing for 194 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:25,559 Speaker 3: me is I'm like, does it feel like I watched 195 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:29,920 Speaker 3: her anxious attachment? I watched it sometimes I suffocated for you. 196 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,280 Speaker 3: I knew why she was doing it, though, because what 197 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,680 Speaker 3: other choices she have, Like she has to check and 198 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:38,960 Speaker 3: double check and triple check and then sit down in 199 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,480 Speaker 3: a check in and a check check because if she doesn't, 200 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,240 Speaker 3: something's going to slip through the cracks, and something's going 201 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:46,040 Speaker 3: to make the bottom fall out, and something's going to 202 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,079 Speaker 3: take her trust away again. 203 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:52,120 Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't disagree with you, right, you know. That's 204 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,720 Speaker 5: the thing over the last two and a few years, 205 00:11:54,720 --> 00:12:00,120 Speaker 5: I own my pard and everything and I always and 206 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:03,160 Speaker 5: I have on my part now. Yeah, and that's the 207 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,640 Speaker 5: whole thing where it got It's got so cyclical or 208 00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:11,640 Speaker 5: even in my mind at the time, I would still 209 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,280 Speaker 5: try to put on Jamie. I was like, well, if 210 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:18,280 Speaker 5: you just gave me some space, this wouldn't happen. Is 211 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,960 Speaker 5: there some fact and truth behind that? Sure to a degree, 212 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 5: But that's how bad that cycle got where we didn't 213 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 5: even know where it beginning ended it anymore. It's like, 214 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 5: did it really begin with me doing something again? Or 215 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:35,200 Speaker 5: did what? The same pattern was there, but it was 216 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:39,959 Speaker 5: so lost that at that point it didn't even matter. 217 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,800 Speaker 2: What would you say to couples then going through that piece, 218 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,679 Speaker 2: because I think that's the hard part because I get 219 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,880 Speaker 2: a lot of people that say, do you believe in 220 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,720 Speaker 2: your book? And I still to this day will say yes, 221 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:54,040 Speaker 2: I do, absolutely, But there's a piece of me that 222 00:12:54,160 --> 00:13:00,280 Speaker 2: also goes when that trust is broken. Maybe one you 223 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:03,120 Speaker 2: can get over it, but the amount of times I 224 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,719 Speaker 2: don't know if that's actually I don't know, and I 225 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:09,520 Speaker 2: don't know if that's just a personal like a It 226 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:14,040 Speaker 2: takes a very strong person to let go of that 227 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:16,320 Speaker 2: resentment and actually trust them. Because I would say I 228 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,679 Speaker 2: trusted you, I never trusted you. 229 00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:21,880 Speaker 3: You say that you didn't. It was the same thing. 230 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 3: So it was like. 231 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:26,520 Speaker 2: You did not not resentle because it's like we were 232 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:28,680 Speaker 2: saying things we didn't really believe it we wanted to 233 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:32,400 Speaker 2: believe it. But I'm like, I still struggle with that answer. 234 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,640 Speaker 2: When people go, well, if they've done it again, I'm like, 235 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:40,360 Speaker 2: I don't know what even to say because I know 236 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:42,960 Speaker 2: what it did to me not trusting and you know 237 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,760 Speaker 2: what resentment and feeling suffocated to you. So it's like, 238 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,520 Speaker 2: I don't I think people could get over in fidelity 239 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,600 Speaker 2: if it happens maybe once, but I don't know if 240 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:54,560 Speaker 2: I could if twice, how people can form a new 241 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:56,360 Speaker 2: because I can't let that stuff go. 242 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:57,760 Speaker 3: I realized that in me. 243 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:02,480 Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't think. I'm just curious that's your case 244 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 5: case basis, it takes special people to get over it 245 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:08,640 Speaker 5: even once. Now, what I will say, and I'm with you, 246 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:11,520 Speaker 5: I've defended the book where I'm like, I still believe 247 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,680 Speaker 5: in the things that we talked about in there. We 248 00:14:13,679 --> 00:14:15,240 Speaker 5: were just in a place that was too far gone. 249 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:20,800 Speaker 5: But I will say this now having been through all 250 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 5: of that, and you can probably attest to this if 251 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:32,360 Speaker 5: something were to happen in another relationship done and because 252 00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:40,520 Speaker 5: we spend a lifetime dealing with that, and so I 253 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:42,480 Speaker 5: don't know. For the people that ask, I don't know 254 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:45,040 Speaker 5: that that's my answer I don't know because I don't 255 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:45,960 Speaker 5: know your relationship. 256 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:49,040 Speaker 3: I think it also depends on the willingness for people 257 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:53,520 Speaker 3: to want to dig deep and make a change, and 258 00:14:54,360 --> 00:15:02,920 Speaker 3: also the actual just like chemistry and workability of two people. Yeah, 259 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,480 Speaker 3: I was because the ones cheer, I'm like, well, yeah, 260 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:07,760 Speaker 3: I've cheated in my past. I wouldn't cheat in this relationship. 261 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,640 Speaker 3: Just because he cheated in the past doesn't mean he'll 262 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,520 Speaker 3: cheat in his her next relationship. So it's like the 263 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,680 Speaker 3: ones cheater, I was cheated, not really, but maybe in 264 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,440 Speaker 3: the mirror. It's like it's just sore. It's like you 265 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,200 Speaker 3: just don't know the ins and outs of the relationship. 266 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:20,000 Speaker 3: So it's like I just I always say for me personally, 267 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,720 Speaker 3: once trust is broken, I have to physically walk away 268 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:27,920 Speaker 3: or I will become controlling, manipulated, you know, suffocating, intolerable. 269 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,160 Speaker 1: I will agree. 270 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:32,520 Speaker 5: I'll say this because I've obviously been asked this question 271 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:37,880 Speaker 5: a lot, and whether it's I'm dating or whatever, or 272 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:39,600 Speaker 5: people ask me it's like, oh, will you do you 273 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:44,360 Speaker 5: think you'll cheat again? And my my whole concept of 274 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 5: that has flipped, where before I would answer is like no, 275 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:52,280 Speaker 5: because I wouldn't want to hurt you, right, Like I 276 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:55,440 Speaker 5: wouldn't want to hurt the other person At this point, 277 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:58,880 Speaker 5: I'm like, it has nothing to do with not wanting 278 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:01,520 Speaker 5: to hurt the other person, has everything to do selfishly 279 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,720 Speaker 5: with I refuse to be in a relationship where I 280 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:10,160 Speaker 5: feel like I'm in a down position. Ever again, ever again, 281 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:16,320 Speaker 5: Like that's the thing. If there's nothing else, if I 282 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:19,880 Speaker 5: am actually just a terrible person and a piece of crap, 283 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:24,440 Speaker 5: if there's anything else stopping me, it's that I refuse 284 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,200 Speaker 5: to be live in a down position? 285 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:42,600 Speaker 3: Did you want me? I always wondered. 286 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:45,680 Speaker 2: I'm like, did you want me to do something so 287 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:48,640 Speaker 2: that you could have a reason to be out, so 288 00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:49,840 Speaker 2: that you wouldn't be the down? 289 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:54,000 Speaker 5: Not so I wouldn't not so I would have an out, 290 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:57,400 Speaker 5: but sure so the playing field. 291 00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:01,680 Speaker 3: Was Yeah, really glarn a lot of airreor. 292 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:06,000 Speaker 4: I think that's something we all kind of felt like 293 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:07,320 Speaker 4: that was probably the case. 294 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:11,919 Speaker 2: Catherine, I think you've got some where y'all's relationship. Not 295 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:14,600 Speaker 2: to take away from none of our guyses, but I 296 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:19,760 Speaker 2: think there's some stuff that maybe you'd like to clear 297 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,040 Speaker 2: to not have the. 298 00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:26,240 Speaker 3: I wish people could be in this room. 299 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:27,920 Speaker 1: I know writing cut the tension with an eye. 300 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:31,520 Speaker 4: Well, first of all, hearing you say the cycle, I'm 301 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,680 Speaker 4: really nervous, Like this is hard for me. I want 302 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,080 Speaker 4: you to know that, and I'll probably cry, so just 303 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:37,560 Speaker 4: bear with. 304 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,880 Speaker 2: Me, but say why, because I think it was beautiful 305 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,320 Speaker 2: what you said last night on the plane. 306 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:44,160 Speaker 4: Hearing you say the cycle, first of all, I want 307 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:48,000 Speaker 4: you to know more than anything that that's what I 308 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:51,439 Speaker 4: always saw. It wasn't just Mike the cheater, and I 309 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:54,280 Speaker 4: know it probably felt that way to you, but I 310 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:56,560 Speaker 4: need you to know that I saw the cycle. I 311 00:17:56,600 --> 00:18:00,640 Speaker 4: saw what happened. I saw how she reacted, I saw 312 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,439 Speaker 4: how she did the things that she did. I truly 313 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:06,520 Speaker 4: could see all of it. But I had to be 314 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,080 Speaker 4: on her side. She's my best friend, she's you know. 315 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:14,399 Speaker 4: And I still struggle with that now because I feel 316 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 4: like obviously we lost a friendship, but like I loved 317 00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:22,399 Speaker 4: you through it too, you know, And it was really hard. 318 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:25,399 Speaker 4: It was a really hard place to be in. And 319 00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:29,680 Speaker 4: I don't I don't take back anything that I said. 320 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,639 Speaker 4: I don't take back anything because I truly, deep down 321 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,480 Speaker 4: knew y'all could not make it work. I wanted to 322 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:37,720 Speaker 4: believe her when she wanted to stay, and she wanted 323 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,800 Speaker 4: to try to, and every time she did, I made 324 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:44,080 Speaker 4: the decision to still love you and still try with y'all. Essentially, 325 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 4: I know it wasn't I wasn't in the marriage, but 326 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,800 Speaker 4: at times I felt like I was, and maybe I 327 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,160 Speaker 4: shouldn't have been, but I was put in that position 328 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:56,640 Speaker 4: at times. And there's really not much I even want 329 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:58,639 Speaker 4: to ask you. There's not much. I just want you 330 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:03,800 Speaker 4: to know that more than any thing, because it hurt 331 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:07,159 Speaker 4: me too, you know, I mean, we felt I think 332 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,160 Speaker 4: as friends, we all felt lied to, we all felt 333 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:14,399 Speaker 4: like we had a friendship that was ripped apart. Yeah, 334 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,920 Speaker 4: and it's just it's been. It's been actually really hard 335 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,400 Speaker 4: on me. And I don't even remember what I said 336 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,960 Speaker 4: in the first one, but it's you know, it's it's 337 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,440 Speaker 4: not easy being on this side either. 338 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:28,800 Speaker 1: But I also want you to know I hear you. 339 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,840 Speaker 4: Even though you haven't said this, I'm sure you feel 340 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,760 Speaker 4: like it was very one sided and I just hated 341 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:37,879 Speaker 4: you and I you know, I like to think that 342 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:40,880 Speaker 4: I still treated you well during that time. I don't remember. 343 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,320 Speaker 4: Maybe I had some resentment too. I'm not even. 344 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:52,639 Speaker 5: Sure I appreciate that. The thing is like I've remember 345 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:58,639 Speaker 5: had necessarily anything against either one of you guys or 346 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:03,240 Speaker 5: anyone else, because it wasn't a surprise to me, because 347 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:07,239 Speaker 5: like we talked about the beginning of this episode, like I, 348 00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:10,760 Speaker 5: you guys are going to default to Jana. I get that, but. 349 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,520 Speaker 3: I defaulted to you so many times on behalf of 350 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:18,080 Speaker 3: yourself behind the scenes too. It wasn't like she can 351 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:22,360 Speaker 3: attest to that. I was always like, I. 352 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,159 Speaker 5: That doesn't surprise me, and I believe that when you 353 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:31,480 Speaker 5: say it. That's the thing, it's my thing, is like, 354 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:35,879 Speaker 5: all right, after all this stuff happens, what am I 355 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:36,400 Speaker 5: going to say? 356 00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:37,280 Speaker 2: Right? 357 00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:41,360 Speaker 5: How many times have you guys, over the last almost 358 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:44,480 Speaker 5: ten years that we've known each other, how many times 359 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:48,239 Speaker 5: have you heard me say I'm sorry? Right? And how 360 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:53,320 Speaker 5: many times did something happen again? Right? And you guys 361 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:57,520 Speaker 5: were hurt again and Channa was hurt again. 362 00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:02,080 Speaker 3: Well, and I'm not even carrying it like I'm like, 363 00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:05,600 Speaker 3: you hurt me personally. I think I just I think 364 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:07,520 Speaker 3: I just saw more in you than you even saw 365 00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:10,640 Speaker 3: on yourself. I got sad because you guys have two 366 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,960 Speaker 3: beautiful kids. 367 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:16,640 Speaker 1: I think it's all of it, that's just the one. 368 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean also friendship, like you know me, Mike, 369 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,879 Speaker 3: like I don't like to be a dick to anybody, Like, 370 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,440 Speaker 3: don't make me be a dick to you? Is where 371 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 3: I was getting to, you know. But then it also 372 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 3: is just like I was so mad at you because 373 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:32,400 Speaker 3: I just kept being like, fucking get it together. 374 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:33,359 Speaker 1: We have a. 375 00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:37,440 Speaker 3: Family here, like you have a family. And I get 376 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,560 Speaker 3: it now, And I even got it then. I think 377 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,679 Speaker 3: I understood it so much, and that's maybe why I 378 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:44,040 Speaker 3: was so mad, as I was just like, I know, 379 00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:46,000 Speaker 3: this isn't just a Jana thing. I know this isn't 380 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,000 Speaker 3: just a Mic thing. But I was like, can somebody 381 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:49,840 Speaker 3: just get out of the cycle so we can just 382 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:54,880 Speaker 3: and listen? I see it now. The thirty thousand feet 383 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:59,640 Speaker 3: perspective is stunning. I mean, I love Alan, I love 384 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:03,239 Speaker 3: who Jenna is. Janna's a different human. This is a 385 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,280 Speaker 3: completely different Janna than you were married to. This is 386 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,440 Speaker 3: a different Jana than people knew in the Good Fight. 387 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:12,680 Speaker 3: I mean, the amount of absolute trench work this chick 388 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:16,640 Speaker 3: is done, and she's not even saying I'm done, I'm healed. 389 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:20,880 Speaker 3: It's just different and it's calmer, and it's more certain, 390 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:27,400 Speaker 3: and it's honest, and I get why it all had 391 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,520 Speaker 3: to fall apart. I just want you to know that 392 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:33,720 Speaker 3: I was never going like I mean, it was finally 393 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,000 Speaker 3: where I just look at channel I was like, it's 394 00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:38,840 Speaker 3: just time because I was watching it all be the same, 395 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,640 Speaker 3: and I hated it, and I hated it for you 396 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:44,160 Speaker 3: because I actually do think you can be a really 397 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:47,360 Speaker 3: good dude. I think that's where my frustration came in. 398 00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:51,400 Speaker 5: Yeah, and I know that I am and. 399 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,720 Speaker 3: I mean, I'm Juris out, but for me was gien. 400 00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:01,000 Speaker 5: And I agree with you with the things you're about China. 401 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:04,520 Speaker 5: Going back to what you originally said, it's like, you know, 402 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:06,280 Speaker 5: we you know, we had kids and we had a 403 00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:13,000 Speaker 5: family with our group, even you saying that when I 404 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,800 Speaker 5: look at it from the outside, yes, But then when 405 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:21,480 Speaker 5: I put myself back into where I was then not 406 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:25,359 Speaker 5: nothing against you guys or anybody, I still felt alone. 407 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:28,960 Speaker 3: Sure I can see that actually right. 408 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:33,560 Speaker 5: Like I felt like and again and you guys, it's 409 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:36,680 Speaker 5: not that anyone whether it's your husband's or you guys 410 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:38,600 Speaker 5: directly or anybody else that was in our life and 411 00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:42,080 Speaker 5: no one did anything directly for me to feel this way. 412 00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:46,520 Speaker 5: It was my own doing over time, but we all 413 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:49,119 Speaker 5: want those fox whole friends, right, like we all have 414 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:52,680 Speaker 5: those people in our life. Here at that time when 415 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:55,960 Speaker 5: things are just towards that end, I felt, I was like, 416 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:01,719 Speaker 5: I don't have anyone in my foxhole in terms of 417 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,679 Speaker 5: like our closer group, right. 418 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,359 Speaker 3: Were you in your own foxhol. 419 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:13,879 Speaker 5: Yeah? Well that was the thing I thought. I was like, 420 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,840 Speaker 5: this is all I got. I don't have them alone 421 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:24,600 Speaker 5: because just because of whatever reasons, again mostly stemming from 422 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:26,960 Speaker 5: my own decision making over the years and all of that. 423 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,160 Speaker 5: But that's part of where, just like that cycle needed 424 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:42,800 Speaker 5: to end because this is as much as yes, the 425 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:49,720 Speaker 5: only shame that I have that still comes up is 426 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:58,600 Speaker 5: stuff with the kids, Right, would I change anything? Still? No, 427 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:01,560 Speaker 5: because I see where Jan is at and I was 428 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,400 Speaker 5: just on the previous episode, I was talking to Mark 429 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 5: and how much I love Alan. 430 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:07,680 Speaker 3: I mean, who doesn't love Alan? 431 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,720 Speaker 5: I told her. I said the same joke to to 432 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:12,680 Speaker 5: Mark this episode, I was like, Jana, how does that 433 00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,720 Speaker 5: make you feel You're not the prettiest in the relationship anymore? 434 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:18,720 Speaker 5: I mean, this guy, we're at soccer practice. It's like 435 00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,040 Speaker 5: a nice autumn day, like pea. 436 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:23,800 Speaker 1: Coat on straight out of the UK. 437 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:25,360 Speaker 5: His hair was flowing. 438 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:28,680 Speaker 1: Of course he always I swear. 439 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,159 Speaker 5: He turned to the right and I was kind of 440 00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:32,120 Speaker 5: back behind them, like catching up to me. He turned 441 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:33,879 Speaker 5: the right and it's like the wind hit it just right. 442 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:35,600 Speaker 5: I was like, is he slow motion right now? 443 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,879 Speaker 3: In slow motion? Also, if you made an Alan like 444 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:47,440 Speaker 3: action figure, it would be Peacoat not sold separately. That's 445 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:50,480 Speaker 3: like how he is in my brain, dapper Allan, Where 446 00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:52,440 Speaker 3: is he pop out right now? 447 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,080 Speaker 1: Because so funny. 448 00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:57,280 Speaker 5: So I you know, I might like him more than Jana, but. 449 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:01,639 Speaker 1: That's though that makes me happy. 450 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:05,320 Speaker 5: But that's a testament to the person that Jean has found, 451 00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:07,560 Speaker 5: the person that she found that she deserves right. 452 00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:12,440 Speaker 2: And I will say that the one thing of anything. 453 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:15,360 Speaker 2: And you know, Kat was asking about, like, you know, apologies, 454 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:18,359 Speaker 2: and like did you think I get apology wanted? And 455 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,760 Speaker 2: I said, there's one thing that he said to me 456 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:25,719 Speaker 2: at the very out of all the years, that was 457 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:29,160 Speaker 2: everything I ever needed to hear. It wasn't the full 458 00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,639 Speaker 2: apology that I thought I deserved, or this or that 459 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:35,160 Speaker 2: or the other you said to me when I got 460 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,560 Speaker 2: engaged and you knew, you knew at that time I 461 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:41,320 Speaker 2: was pregnant, but you said, after everything that I put 462 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,800 Speaker 2: you through and you've been through, you deserve this and 463 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:45,920 Speaker 2: I'm really happy for you. And it was like that's 464 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:51,080 Speaker 2: everything I needed to hear, and I believed you and 465 00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:51,760 Speaker 2: that is the. 466 00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:54,600 Speaker 3: That was. It was beautiful. 467 00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:57,080 Speaker 2: So I just I really appreciate that comment because that 468 00:26:57,119 --> 00:26:59,880 Speaker 2: has that was the one thing that was like. 469 00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:04,480 Speaker 5: Okay, well you're welcome and I meant it. And on 470 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,240 Speaker 5: a lighter note, can we tell the pregnancy story? 471 00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:10,920 Speaker 3: Oh my god, did. 472 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:13,159 Speaker 1: Jana tell you guys? 473 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:14,920 Speaker 3: So yeah, don't you tell you guys? 474 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,080 Speaker 1: I don't know out Oh yeah no. 475 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:20,080 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, okay, so for those of you listening. 476 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:21,959 Speaker 3: Yeah, we can tell the story. It's so really funny. 477 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:27,760 Speaker 5: So we're sitting at soccer practice. Was this in the spring? Yeah? 478 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,320 Speaker 3: The day does matter because the protesting. 479 00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:35,000 Speaker 5: On your spring spring and we're at. 480 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,040 Speaker 3: March it was like March twenty fourth to twenty six whatever. 481 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:38,679 Speaker 5: It was dating Joys soccer practice. 482 00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:40,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, that was so So it was in April when 483 00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,160 Speaker 2: I when you found out. 484 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,760 Speaker 5: Oh no, no, no, no, that wasn't even that was. 485 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:45,400 Speaker 3: Bringing on the phone. 486 00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:46,600 Speaker 5: Was on the phone, that's right. 487 00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:48,000 Speaker 3: You didn't say anything. 488 00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:52,200 Speaker 5: I didn't say anything. Yeah, So Jane was said she's like, hey, 489 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,040 Speaker 5: can you get the kids or something or whatever. It's 490 00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:55,920 Speaker 5: like I just haven't been feeling well. I'm like, yeah, sure, 491 00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:59,359 Speaker 5: and then like a week goes by and then I 492 00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:01,320 Speaker 5: hear on the phone obviously I know Jane. I'm like, 493 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,040 Speaker 5: you still don't feel like She's like no, I'm like 494 00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:06,800 Speaker 5: it's been a week, like what and then she makes 495 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:16,120 Speaker 5: this audible sound over the phone that I've heard her 496 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:17,080 Speaker 5: make two other. 497 00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:23,680 Speaker 1: In you would figure it out first. 498 00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:27,280 Speaker 5: And so she makes the sound like this little dry heave, 499 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:28,639 Speaker 5: throw up. 500 00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:32,439 Speaker 3: Sound, and I was just like, you don't say anything. 501 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,440 Speaker 5: No, I said what I said. I was like, what 502 00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:38,480 Speaker 5: was that? She's like, I was like, what was that noise? 503 00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:40,040 Speaker 3: And immediately when he asked me, I was like I 504 00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:40,240 Speaker 3: was like. 505 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:46,520 Speaker 5: I was like Janna, I was like, are you I 506 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:47,320 Speaker 5: don't know what's talking about. 507 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:47,800 Speaker 3: No. No. 508 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:49,440 Speaker 5: And then it's like a couple of days later, we 509 00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:50,920 Speaker 5: had the soccer practice and we were. 510 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:55,760 Speaker 2: At Jason's surgery was a surgery, and I looked up 511 00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:59,680 Speaker 2: and he's just like, you're still not feeling good. He's 512 00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:03,920 Speaker 2: like Jana, and I was like m m mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. 513 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:10,520 Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, long story short. He totally I 514 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:11,959 Speaker 1: called her to keep that from him. 515 00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:14,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, He's like, are you pregnant? And I was just 516 00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:20,520 Speaker 2: like mm hmmm. And then You're just like, I'm. 517 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:23,960 Speaker 5: Really happy for I was uncle Mike here, I. 518 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:40,840 Speaker 4: Okay, let's not with the old before the words. I 519 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:42,760 Speaker 4: was trying to think of funny stories. But then, of course, 520 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:44,920 Speaker 4: as I'm like going through these questions, I'm like, remember 521 00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,920 Speaker 4: when he cornered me in the bathroom, and do you remember? 522 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:53,760 Speaker 1: It's not a funny story, That's what Jenny was. 523 00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:55,280 Speaker 4: Like, no, And I was like, you don't remember that. 524 00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:58,560 Speaker 4: It was like dancing with the stars. After she first 525 00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:01,280 Speaker 4: found out you'd been away from a while. You come 526 00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:04,880 Speaker 4: back and she doesn't tell me, mind you that you're 527 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,880 Speaker 4: coming back, and I'm there, and. 528 00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:08,800 Speaker 1: So I'm like awesome. 529 00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:10,640 Speaker 4: You know. So I'm like in the bathroom, do my makeup, 530 00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:11,920 Speaker 4: and you walk in the bathroom. 531 00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:16,400 Speaker 1: There's nowhere for me to go. I am cornered into makeup, 532 00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:17,640 Speaker 1: just letting you. 533 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:21,360 Speaker 4: Talk, and I'm just like, but I mean that was 534 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,240 Speaker 4: a I mean a huge memory for me. 535 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:27,000 Speaker 1: I mean it was it was big of you. 536 00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:30,400 Speaker 4: Honestly, you know, you came in and you apologize to me, 537 00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:31,960 Speaker 4: and you you know, whatever. 538 00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:33,560 Speaker 1: But anyway, so. 539 00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:34,720 Speaker 4: I was trying to think of stories and I just 540 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:36,520 Speaker 4: kept coming up with these and she's like, these aren't 541 00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:40,479 Speaker 4: funny stories, like you know it was, And then I 542 00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:42,560 Speaker 4: was like I did appreciate it though when he with 543 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:43,280 Speaker 4: a hand. 544 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,520 Speaker 3: On the table the stories. But in my mind it 545 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:46,920 Speaker 3: was funny. 546 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:51,040 Speaker 2: Remember when we ruined the Gamelberg Gatlinburg. Is someone farted, 547 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:51,360 Speaker 2: You're like. 548 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:59,240 Speaker 1: I didn't fart. 549 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,320 Speaker 3: We were just thrill us in there, like I'm not 550 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:05,280 Speaker 3: a grown up, like saying I'm a grown up. I 551 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:06,120 Speaker 3: didn't far. 552 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:09,960 Speaker 1: Other funny now though, so that's the good news. 553 00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:14,760 Speaker 3: I remember when we did wind Down Texas, and that 554 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,920 Speaker 3: was I felt like, I felt like we were really funny. 555 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:21,960 Speaker 3: We were thank you. And I remember you were too 556 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,000 Speaker 3: tall for everything we tried to put you in, and 557 00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:26,239 Speaker 3: so then it became a series too tall Mike, and 558 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:31,920 Speaker 3: so Carl, Carl, Carl and I were taking pictures of 559 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,400 Speaker 3: you when you didn't know in tiny. 560 00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:35,800 Speaker 1: Space stop it. 561 00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:39,000 Speaker 3: He would drive the jeep that we were renting. We 562 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:41,160 Speaker 3: had to go like four hours and they love murder 563 00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:43,520 Speaker 3: mystery shows or whatever, and I was like, I'm in 564 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:45,880 Speaker 3: my own personal health and so mom and Dad were 565 00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:48,040 Speaker 3: in the front and they're driving and he like Mike. 566 00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:49,840 Speaker 3: I was like, there's no way he doesn't have like 567 00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:53,320 Speaker 3: an actual kink because he was like so hunged over, 568 00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:56,560 Speaker 3: so too tall. Mike was a good memory. 569 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,000 Speaker 2: Is there anything as we wrap up this episode that 570 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,080 Speaker 2: you guys want to say to move on? 571 00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:02,880 Speaker 3: Let the past be the past. 572 00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:06,560 Speaker 2: Obviously it's long gone, but you know, to move on 573 00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:08,800 Speaker 2: and start a new chapter in this friendship. 574 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,840 Speaker 3: Mine is quick, So Kat, would you like to go first? 575 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:16,240 Speaker 3: I feel like I want you to feel like good relief. 576 00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:19,360 Speaker 4: I want us to be in a room and be 577 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:27,880 Speaker 4: able to get along. First of all, I want to apologize. 578 00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:30,800 Speaker 4: This will be hard, but I want to say that 579 00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:34,560 Speaker 4: I am sorry because even though I didn't really have 580 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:36,280 Speaker 4: a choice, the last thing I said to you will 581 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:43,920 Speaker 4: always stick with me. It in the divorce situation, which 582 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:47,000 Speaker 4: I'm sure you know remember that was very very hard 583 00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:48,920 Speaker 4: for me and. 584 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:49,480 Speaker 1: I have. 585 00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:54,760 Speaker 4: I was doing what I knew she needed me to do, 586 00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:00,080 Speaker 4: and I you know, I just I said to you, 587 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,040 Speaker 4: you just trust me, and then you walked out the door, 588 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:04,720 Speaker 4: and I was just like I. 589 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,000 Speaker 1: Could I could barely live with it. 590 00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:08,200 Speaker 4: I mean, I'm just gonna be honest because I felt 591 00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:11,200 Speaker 4: like I had I knew I was doing what I 592 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:15,280 Speaker 4: needed to for her, but for myself and for you, 593 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:18,880 Speaker 4: I just it was hard. It was and I want 594 00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:21,360 Speaker 4: to apologize for that. I don't know how I should 595 00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:22,920 Speaker 4: have done it differently. I don't know how I would 596 00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,680 Speaker 4: have done it differently, but I do feel like I 597 00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:27,240 Speaker 4: own owe you an apology. 598 00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:33,280 Speaker 5: I appreciate that, and I appreciate that you feel like 599 00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:38,840 Speaker 5: you even owe me an apology. And for those of 600 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:42,040 Speaker 5: you listening, I mean, it wasn't It was just Catherine 601 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:49,360 Speaker 5: saying that I don't need to go see GM. So 602 00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:51,480 Speaker 5: you were doing what any. 603 00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:55,680 Speaker 2: Well, you walked outside, and you walk outside. It's in 604 00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:59,320 Speaker 2: the book, it's a chapter outside. 605 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,600 Speaker 5: Done the driveway. I see this guy get out of 606 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:03,440 Speaker 5: his car, just waddling over to the driveway and I'm 607 00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:05,640 Speaker 5: just like, okay, and he's like, are you might costan? 608 00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:06,280 Speaker 3: Yeah? 609 00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:09,040 Speaker 5: You go? 610 00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:11,640 Speaker 1: Could you see me in the window? Oh my god, 611 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:12,560 Speaker 1: did you see us? 612 00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:13,440 Speaker 3: Video? 613 00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:17,080 Speaker 4: I literally cam and I just watched you from the 614 00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:20,680 Speaker 4: video and it was and she's, you know, screaming in 615 00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:22,960 Speaker 4: the bedroom, and I just like after that, I just 616 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,359 Speaker 4: like sat there for a minute and I was like, 617 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,920 Speaker 4: I mean honestly, like I needed to do. 618 00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:30,120 Speaker 1: De talks for a while after all of this. 619 00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:33,000 Speaker 4: It was a lot for y'all especially, but it was 620 00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:36,520 Speaker 4: also a lot on us too, you know. And that's 621 00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:39,000 Speaker 4: but yes, I felt like I owe you an apology 622 00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:41,239 Speaker 4: for that, because that just never really set well with me. 623 00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:45,960 Speaker 4: I think what I was trying to say to you, 624 00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:49,520 Speaker 4: I just didn't have more words, was I'm actually looking 625 00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:53,239 Speaker 4: out for you too, And it's how I felt in 626 00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:56,480 Speaker 4: that moment, It's what I wanted to say. That's why 627 00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:57,759 Speaker 4: I just kind of looked in your eyes and I 628 00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,480 Speaker 4: was like, just trust me, like I knew you'd get 629 00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:01,400 Speaker 4: here eventually. 630 00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:04,120 Speaker 1: I just could so see that. I just knew that 631 00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:06,799 Speaker 1: it had to happen. It did, you know. 632 00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:09,560 Speaker 4: So, But that's that's all I wanted to be able 633 00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:11,640 Speaker 4: to be in a room and be good. That's that's 634 00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:14,520 Speaker 4: you know. I hope that we can be good. I 635 00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:16,680 Speaker 4: hope that you don't have resentment towards me, and. 636 00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:22,239 Speaker 5: No, I I honestly don't. And that's where, you know, 637 00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:26,719 Speaker 5: I never I didn't have a reason the way I 638 00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,440 Speaker 5: saw it for the last couple of years, and obviously 639 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:32,319 Speaker 5: like the fact that we're having this conversation, the whole 640 00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:37,359 Speaker 5: reason why it's good that we've waited so long. Sure, right, 641 00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:41,560 Speaker 5: But at the same time, I was like, I don't 642 00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:45,960 Speaker 5: have any reason to talk to y'all like over the 643 00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:49,640 Speaker 5: last two and a half years, Like I haven't for 644 00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:52,799 Speaker 5: what again, for what reason? Like what what would have done? 645 00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:56,719 Speaker 5: Who would benefit in that moment until the moment came 646 00:35:56,880 --> 00:36:00,279 Speaker 5: like this more organically podcasts or. 647 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,200 Speaker 3: Not organically being video from. 648 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:10,440 Speaker 5: Microphones and cameras, but for it to come up in 649 00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,560 Speaker 5: the way that it did, because other than that, like what, 650 00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:15,400 Speaker 5: I don't know what I would have said to either 651 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:16,240 Speaker 5: one of you guys. 652 00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:18,719 Speaker 3: I also think it's like God's protection over it too, 653 00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:20,480 Speaker 3: because I think what I would have said to you 654 00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:24,120 Speaker 3: a year ago, even or even right after it happened 655 00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:26,600 Speaker 3: would have been like very sex in the city, like no, 656 00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:32,280 Speaker 3: you know, And I think. 657 00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:32,120 Speaker 1: We needed Jane to get to this place. 658 00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:35,080 Speaker 4: That's where it hit me, Like, yes, I've had some 659 00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:38,160 Speaker 4: you know, things about it, and i've you know, felt 660 00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:40,800 Speaker 4: a way, But when I saw that y'all were good, 661 00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:43,680 Speaker 4: I'm like, all right, it's time it's time for us 662 00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:46,880 Speaker 4: to all be okay, you know, like let's all like 663 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:52,839 Speaker 4: we're adults. What happened happened. We all know everyone had 664 00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:56,560 Speaker 4: a part in it. I will never fully blame you ever, 665 00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:59,000 Speaker 4: And I'm not saying I blame you either. It is 666 00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:01,759 Speaker 4: it's a it's a relationship that wasn't working, you know. 667 00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:05,840 Speaker 4: So I'm just thankful. Honestly, I'm really really grateful that 668 00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:08,799 Speaker 4: we could sit down and talk it talk it out. 669 00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:09,719 Speaker 5: I appreciate it. 670 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:14,040 Speaker 3: That's really it for me too, because I honestly, you know, 671 00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:16,520 Speaker 3: I don't do well at not liking people. It takes 672 00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:18,799 Speaker 3: a lot for me to not like somebody. And I 673 00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:22,080 Speaker 3: never disliked you. I was disappointed, and I think I 674 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:26,480 Speaker 3: felt like I just thought you could always do better. 675 00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:29,279 Speaker 3: I just kind of always knew you guys weren't going 676 00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:30,640 Speaker 3: to do better. You weren't going to be able to 677 00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:36,879 Speaker 3: do better inside of this. No, And I just don't 678 00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:38,840 Speaker 3: want to have to feel like I have to avoid 679 00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:42,839 Speaker 3: you because you're massive, and I just don't dislike you. 680 00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,000 Speaker 1: We're all on the same page. We all like each other. 681 00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:49,359 Speaker 5: Yeah. 682 00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:55,520 Speaker 2: Well, thanks for coming on. Stay tuned for another short 683 00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:56,759 Speaker 2: little wrap up. 684 00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:11,640 Speaker 3: Stay tuned. We should have brought one h