1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,000
Speaker 1: This is cole Minor, John, this is coal Miner Sale.

2
00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:05,440
Speaker 2: And we have been digging for stories on the Okay

3
00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:07,960
Speaker 2: Storytime podcast as long as we can remember saying, and.

4
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:10,280
Speaker 3: We've found some diamonds of the rough, How don't we? John?

5
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:11,960
Speaker 2: That's right. But before we do that, we have to

6
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,480
Speaker 2: wade through two more minutes of incredible ads from our

7
00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:17,720
Speaker 2: sponsors keeping us finding more great stories on the show.

8
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:22,040
Speaker 1: My cousin's mother in law wants to join their honeymoon,

9
00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:24,000
Speaker 1: so I called her out.

10
00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:24,680
Speaker 3: Sorry.

11
00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:29,080
Speaker 1: Three is a crowd, yeah, I twenty five female have

12
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:32,239
Speaker 1: always been close to my cousin thirty two female. A

13
00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:35,880
Speaker 1: little background. My cousin is very polite and sensitive, the

14
00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:38,639
Speaker 1: kind of person who can't say no. If someone believes her,

15
00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:41,400
Speaker 1: she will just come back home and cry. By the way,

16
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:44,199
Speaker 1: this comes from user Pluto sixty seven eighty and if

17
00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:45,720
Speaker 1: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

18
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:49,960
Speaker 1: r slash Okay Storytime subrend it. Anyway, my cousin fell

19
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:53,640
Speaker 1: in love with her now husband thirty six female, almost

20
00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:56,840
Speaker 1: five years ago. In these five years, her mother in

21
00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,600
Speaker 1: law never missed a chance to third wheel. They're going

22
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:02,240
Speaker 1: on a mother in law wants to join they're having

23
00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:04,920
Speaker 1: a trip. How can mother in law be alone in

24
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,600
Speaker 1: her home? They want to watch cinema. Mother in law

25
00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:09,520
Speaker 1: wants to watch it too. She has no one else

26
00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:12,240
Speaker 1: to go. They're going to a resort. Mother in law

27
00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:16,160
Speaker 1: is too sick to be left alone. In truth, my

28
00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:19,240
Speaker 1: cousin never had a date with her husband slash lover

29
00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:22,720
Speaker 1: without his mother. I was genuinely worried about this, but

30
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,920
Speaker 1: it's not my life. I have no say in it.

31
00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:28,280
Speaker 1: But my patients crossed the limit on their wedding. The

32
00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:31,199
Speaker 1: marriage happened in February this year. Her mother in law

33
00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:34,680
Speaker 1: came to the wedding in a classic wedding dress with

34
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:38,600
Speaker 1: heavy jeweleries, flowers, and a crown in her hair. She

35
00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:42,640
Speaker 1: just needed a veil to be bride. Except for the veil,

36
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:43,679
Speaker 1: everything was there.

37
00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:45,760
Speaker 3: She was even carrying.

38
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,480
Speaker 1: A bouquet of red roses.

39
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:51,360
Speaker 3: That's interesting, that's crazy.

40
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:56,920
Speaker 1: Oh my god. The moment she entered, everybody looked at

41
00:01:56,920 --> 00:02:00,760
Speaker 1: her with wide eyes, and I saw my cousin's face fall.

42
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:02,560
Speaker 4: Dude, if I was the cousin, I'd be like, I

43
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,000
Speaker 4: don't know if I can go through this marriage. Because husband,

44
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:07,880
Speaker 4: you're not putting up any boundaries with your mom, and

45
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,880
Speaker 4: you haven't ever put up boundaries.

46
00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:10,600
Speaker 3: With your mom the whole relationship.

47
00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:13,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, this would be a straight up actually, like hey,

48
00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:18,160
Speaker 1: completely reanalyzing everything depending on how you react to this moment.

49
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:22,680
Speaker 1: It literally looked like the mother was the bride and

50
00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:26,760
Speaker 1: my cousin was a bridesmaids. I felt hot air coming

51
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,919
Speaker 1: out of my ears, so I gave the fakest smile

52
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:34,720
Speaker 1: possible and said, Auntie, you're looking like you came to

53
00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,800
Speaker 1: marry your Sunday boo.

54
00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:42,919
Speaker 3: And everyone laughed. Everyone laughed at her, What a crazy misunderstanding.

55
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,160
Speaker 1: You're not getting married today.

56
00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:45,520
Speaker 3: Married silly.

57
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:50,280
Speaker 1: To my utter surprise, some of the relatives laughed out loud. Yes,

58
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:53,440
Speaker 1: someone even passed a comment like she dressed a little

59
00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:56,680
Speaker 1: nicer than her own wedding forty years ago. She got

60
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,560
Speaker 1: visibly upset and spent the wedding with a gloom face.

61
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,359
Speaker 1: She denied to be in some photos out of anger,

62
00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:04,920
Speaker 1: which was good for my cousin. I'm sorry she's still here.

63
00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,800
Speaker 1: No one made her leave and change her outfit. After

64
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:12,480
Speaker 1: the wedding, the groom confronted me about my words. According

65
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:16,400
Speaker 1: to him, it's her only son's wedding and she has

66
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:19,480
Speaker 1: the right to dress up. We are all dressed up.

67
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:23,720
Speaker 1: And I also thought that I crossed the line because

68
00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:26,440
Speaker 1: in our culture there's no rules for dressing up. There

69
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,120
Speaker 1: are no such things like upstaging. The bride and the

70
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:32,520
Speaker 1: close family usually dressing up in an extravagant way, but

71
00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:35,360
Speaker 1: never in a wedding dress with a crown. Yeah right,

72
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:38,400
Speaker 1: It's like there's no rules until we have to make

73
00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:41,840
Speaker 1: one because he decided to show her as an actual bride.

74
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:45,040
Speaker 1: So I thought about apologizing until I heard she wants

75
00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:49,280
Speaker 1: to go to the honeymoon with my cousin. Whoa, now,

76
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:50,720
Speaker 1: what are we doing?

77
00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:51,119
Speaker 3: Well?

78
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:54,520
Speaker 1: She was literally bragging to one of her relatives about

79
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,440
Speaker 1: how her son had changed the honeymoon location from a

80
00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:01,200
Speaker 1: beach to a hill station because she don't like the beach.

81
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:03,880
Speaker 1: I came back and asked my cousin whether she knew

82
00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:06,400
Speaker 1: about this. She said that her husband informed her in

83
00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:07,680
Speaker 1: the middle of their wedding.

84
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:13,200
Speaker 3: Uh, not getting married. Don't get married. Don't get married.

85
00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:15,640
Speaker 1: You can't get married to a man who's marrying his

86
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:16,080
Speaker 1: own mom.

87
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:17,119
Speaker 3: He's marrying his mom.

88
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:20,680
Speaker 1: Instead of apologizing, I posted a picture of the groom

89
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,960
Speaker 1: and his mother with the caption vote. Wedding is over

90
00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:30,359
Speaker 1: advanced happy honeymoon. Yes, yes, the post was public and

91
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:33,080
Speaker 1: some of the passers by really thought he married an

92
00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:36,160
Speaker 1: old woman and left really mean comments on the post.

93
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,800
Speaker 1: When he saw the post, of course, he freaked out

94
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,720
Speaker 1: and eventually canceled the honeymoon, which my cousin didn't want

95
00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:45,599
Speaker 1: to attend either. It's been months after that and he

96
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,600
Speaker 1: still blames me for his canceled honeymoon and keeps pushing

97
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:50,640
Speaker 1: me to apologize to his mother every time we meet.

98
00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:52,320
Speaker 1: For what they're still together.

99
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,520
Speaker 4: The cousin is like a people pleaser. Oh my god,

100
00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:58,440
Speaker 4: ticks does not you know, does not stand up for herself.

101
00:04:58,480 --> 00:04:59,840
Speaker 3: So we already knew that.

102
00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:04,440
Speaker 1: I refuse to apologize every time this idea was brought

103
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,080
Speaker 1: up for me. I said the truth and didn't lie,

104
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:10,360
Speaker 1: but my family thinks I should just apologize to solve

105
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:13,560
Speaker 1: the issue for my cousin. She is still struggling with

106
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:16,480
Speaker 1: her mother in law's interference. She still can't voice out

107
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,880
Speaker 1: her opinion out loud, but she told me that her

108
00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:22,760
Speaker 1: husband suggested another honeymoon after I apologize, and she also

109
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,359
Speaker 1: told me that she doesn't want to go because she

110
00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,720
Speaker 1: believes her husband would bring his mother again.

111
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,240
Speaker 4: If you believe that, and if you don't even want

112
00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,160
Speaker 4: to go on your honeymoon, why are you in this marriage?

113
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:33,480
Speaker 3: Get that marriage an.

114
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,240
Speaker 1: Ould mull it over and then unnull it over. And

115
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:39,279
Speaker 1: yes she did react with a haha to my happy

116
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,240
Speaker 1: honeymoon post. I made that post private after some mean

117
00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:45,920
Speaker 1: comments from the general public. So I don't want to apologize,

118
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,320
Speaker 1: am I to a hole? No?

119
00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:48,360
Speaker 2: No?

120
00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:51,839
Speaker 4: Also, it's like you didn't even really say anything that bad.

121
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,799
Speaker 4: You just post a picture with him and his mom.

122
00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:56,800
Speaker 1: Yeah. At that point, it's like we've already the damage

123
00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:57,200
Speaker 1: is done.

124
00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,359
Speaker 4: Like they did that they didn't want to look like

125
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,680
Speaker 4: the bride and groom, then maybe she shouldn't dress.

126
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:03,040
Speaker 3: Like the bride.

127
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,680
Speaker 1: Here's an update. Oh I never thought I would update

128
00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:08,880
Speaker 1: this fast and the situation would turn out like this. Anyways,

129
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:12,200
Speaker 1: here I am. First, let me clear up some confusion.

130
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:15,320
Speaker 1: Her now mother in law was present in her every

131
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:19,039
Speaker 1: date because her now husband owns a cafe and mother

132
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,800
Speaker 1: in law just stays there. I mean she is a

133
00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:25,080
Speaker 1: frequent goer, and whenever they had a date, it was

134
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:27,599
Speaker 1: always in his own cafe, when mother in law was

135
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:31,680
Speaker 1: already present beforehand, or she joined later. My cousin was

136
00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:34,640
Speaker 1: a child when her father passed, so she never had

137
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:37,440
Speaker 1: an ideal father figure in her life, and her husband

138
00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:41,159
Speaker 1: is kind of a family or family blind man, which

139
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,120
Speaker 1: made her fall in love and stay with him for

140
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:47,480
Speaker 1: five long years and get married. Now, after reading your comments,

141
00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:49,760
Speaker 1: I decided to have a talk with my mother That

142
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:54,000
Speaker 1: same night. She told me that I was interfering in

143
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:58,440
Speaker 1: a husband wife matter. It is their private business and

144
00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:01,400
Speaker 1: if they can't solve their problem themselves, and they shouldn't

145
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:04,720
Speaker 1: be or stay married. I am not their marriage counselor

146
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:06,839
Speaker 1: and I shouldn't try to be one. I agree. It

147
00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:12,000
Speaker 1: sounded like selfish, but my mother was so right. After

148
00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:15,559
Speaker 1: that convo, I sent this post link to my cousin

149
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,640
Speaker 1: and brother in law. Ooh, so it's been revealed. The

150
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:23,280
Speaker 1: general public's knowledge has been revealed. Yes, according to the comments,

151
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:26,640
Speaker 1: they both needed this eye opener. But my cousin doesn't

152
00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,000
Speaker 1: open links unless you force her to open and read it.

153
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,680
Speaker 1: And before I could get a free moment to call her,

154
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,480
Speaker 1: my brother in law read this post. He called me

155
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:37,440
Speaker 1: immediately and asked me to meet him. I was not

156
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,080
Speaker 1: ready to meet or even talk with him, but he

157
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,960
Speaker 1: requested and said it was urgent. So I meet him

158
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,040
Speaker 1: in a public place and he showed me some chats.

159
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:48,760
Speaker 1: Guess what was in those chats. He and my cousin

160
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,320
Speaker 1: were planning another honeymoon at the hill station, separate to

161
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:55,240
Speaker 1: her guides from mother in law resorts. All that those

162
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:58,560
Speaker 1: chats were full of emoji stickers and all that good stuff.

163
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,960
Speaker 1: You wouldn't even guess that she did like the idea.

164
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,640
Speaker 1: He told me that he never informed my cousin about

165
00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:05,480
Speaker 1: their change of honeymoon in the middle of the wedding.

166
00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,120
Speaker 1: My cousin knew beforehand.

167
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:12,640
Speaker 4: Whoa, whoa, wait, new info, he said, wait a minute,

168
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:13,880
Speaker 4: wait a minute.

169
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:17,480
Speaker 1: And we've got sabotage. He said that he also knew

170
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:20,920
Speaker 1: that mother in law shouldn't go to the honeymoon, so

171
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,600
Speaker 1: when his mother forced him, he asked my cousin for permission,

172
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:28,440
Speaker 1: and she said yes, okay, no, no, no.

173
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,640
Speaker 4: No no, I mean you're still the wrong name. But

174
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:33,840
Speaker 4: like she clearly is not telling the truth about the situation.

175
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,000
Speaker 1: As someone's not, I don't know if it's her or him,

176
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:39,560
Speaker 1: it's easy to fake a text chain right away. Hey, man,

177
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,640
Speaker 1: make your own decision. I'm calling bs on all this

178
00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:46,719
Speaker 1: guy's stuff. He even planned those separate bamboo houses in

179
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:50,079
Speaker 1: hill stations so that his mother can't disturb their honeymoon.

180
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,960
Speaker 1: They planned for a separate tour guide for separate side

181
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:56,760
Speaker 1: scenes too. According to him, if my cousin had any objections,

182
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,360
Speaker 1: she should have said no rather than making a scene.

183
00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:02,200
Speaker 1: That's why he is angry with her. He wanted her

184
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,960
Speaker 1: to apologize to his mother, not me. He never had

185
00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:09,000
Speaker 1: any conversation with me. If he wanted me to apologize,

186
00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:10,839
Speaker 1: he would have directly asked me like he did in

187
00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,320
Speaker 1: the wedding. I feel like I'm in a movie. But

188
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:17,520
Speaker 1: do I trust him completely? Well? I do, because my

189
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,520
Speaker 1: cousin is a people pleaser. She didn't want to add

190
00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:22,000
Speaker 1: her mother in law, but she didn't want to play

191
00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:24,200
Speaker 1: the bad guy either, so she made me play it

192
00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:26,920
Speaker 1: for her, as I do care for her too much.

193
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,160
Speaker 1: Do I think my brother in law and his mother

194
00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:34,040
Speaker 1: were right. Absolutely not. I told him directly that he

195
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:37,080
Speaker 1: needs to grow a spine and shouldn't even ask such

196
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:40,760
Speaker 1: permission like taking mother in law on a honeymoon, and

197
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:44,040
Speaker 1: he should ask his mother to apologize too. He explained

198
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,560
Speaker 1: that his mother had a heart attack three times already,

199
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,920
Speaker 1: so he wanted to go easy on her. But that's

200
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,400
Speaker 1: not the way. If he wants this marriage to last

201
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:53,560
Speaker 1: more than three months, than he should man up. Yeah.

202
00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:55,400
Speaker 1: And also, if your mom just had three heart attacks,

203
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,800
Speaker 1: don't bring her to the top of the hill. Yeah,

204
00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:00,000
Speaker 1: don't go on vacation with her behind us a chill.

205
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:02,960
Speaker 1: He said that he already got that lesson from the comments.

206
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:05,120
Speaker 1: Kind of offended by the mama's boy tag. But but

207
00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:08,000
Speaker 1: the truth hurts sometimes. Do I let my cousin get

208
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:11,360
Speaker 1: away with the way she used me? Never? You don't

209
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,440
Speaker 1: mess with me and get away with it. So the

210
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,120
Speaker 1: first thing I did was delete the link that I

211
00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:18,640
Speaker 1: sent her. Of course it was unread. Then I asked

212
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,920
Speaker 1: my brother in law to replan the honeymoon the same

213
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:24,000
Speaker 1: way like before, which means with my mother in law,

214
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:27,320
Speaker 1: like the way they plan together in chat. If my

215
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:30,360
Speaker 1: cousin asks, then he would say that I apologize to

216
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:33,480
Speaker 1: his mother, which she believes I would never. So this

217
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:36,640
Speaker 1: time I will take my mother's advice and stay silent.

218
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:38,840
Speaker 1: If she doesn't want to take her mother in law,

219
00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:41,120
Speaker 1: she has to say it out loud. If she says

220
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,040
Speaker 1: it out loud, her husband would take her input and

221
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:45,640
Speaker 1: leave his mother out of the honeymoon. But if she doesn't,

222
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:48,360
Speaker 1: then she can enjoy her honeymoon with her mother in law.

223
00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:50,880
Speaker 1: Maybe I am the a hole here, but you play

224
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:54,200
Speaker 1: stupid games, you win stupid prizes. I have a feeling

225
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,080
Speaker 1: she would call me today crying again. I fear the

226
00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,640
Speaker 1: comment section will be mean to me, but I don't care.

227
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,560
Speaker 1: She still has options to say no. It's not like

228
00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:05,240
Speaker 1: I'm forcing her or encouraging her mother in law. We

229
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:06,080
Speaker 1: all have lessons that.

230
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,160
Speaker 3: We need to learn in our lives.

231
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:11,280
Speaker 1: Right, Clearly, Opie's cousin needs to learn the lesson that

232
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:14,000
Speaker 1: you can say no to people. Now do we use

233
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:19,120
Speaker 1: the honeymoon as a teachable moment for learning to say no?

234
00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,120
Speaker 1: And if she doesn't learn the lesson, then she has

235
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,440
Speaker 1: to spend her honeymoon with her mother in law. I

236
00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,280
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know about that one. Chief. I

237
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:30,079
Speaker 1: don't think we do.

238
00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:35,199
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, seems messy. It seems like both these people

239
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,400
Speaker 4: pleaser is married each other.

240
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:40,360
Speaker 1: You know, well, it's to me, it feels like the

241
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:43,560
Speaker 1: husband definitely just wants the wife to try to like

242
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:46,280
Speaker 1: I like like the cousin or his wife to just

243
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:48,640
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, I should have done this, so then

244
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,440
Speaker 1: he can have the cop out of like, well, see,

245
00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:52,320
Speaker 1: I wasn't being a MoMA's boy. I was just trying

246
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:55,000
Speaker 1: to be considerate of everybody. But you already know your

247
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,760
Speaker 1: mom shouldn't be on your honeymoon, so now it's up

248
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:01,199
Speaker 1: to you to tell her that that's not happening.

249
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:02,400
Speaker 3: You freaking know, man.

250
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:06,720
Speaker 1: Update number two the last and most satisfactory update you

251
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,640
Speaker 1: will ever get from me. I guess as I predicted.

252
00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:11,720
Speaker 1: My cousin called me just a half hour after I

253
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:15,040
Speaker 1: gave my last update and asked me if I really apologized.

254
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:18,079
Speaker 1: She said that I shouldn't have. I could have replied

255
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,600
Speaker 1: to her on the call. But as I meet my

256
00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:23,400
Speaker 1: brother in law, I want to meet her too. I

257
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:25,120
Speaker 1: asked her if she could visit me in my house,

258
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:29,800
Speaker 1: and she came this evening. She is still with me

259
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:33,080
Speaker 1: watching her favorite TV show as I'm giving this update.

260
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:37,160
Speaker 1: Her husband would pick her up soon anyway. As soon

261
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,240
Speaker 1: as she came, the first thing I asked her is

262
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:42,360
Speaker 1: to be honest with me, otherwise I would cut her off.

263
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:47,120
Speaker 1: She panicked who but agreed. Then I asked her, sorry,

264
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,839
Speaker 1: that was just a little my little panic. There, We're

265
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,600
Speaker 1: at the end of the day. I'm goofy deal with

266
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,000
Speaker 1: if she knew about her mother in law's plan beforehand.

267
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,280
Speaker 1: She said she had no idea about the wedding dress.

268
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,679
Speaker 1: Of course I saw the shock on her face that day.

269
00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:01,400
Speaker 1: But she knew about the chain of honeymoon before the wedding,

270
00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:05,719
Speaker 1: and so why didn't she deny this idea? She was

271
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:07,560
Speaker 1: dressed with the wedding and she panicked that if she

272
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,400
Speaker 1: denied it, her husband would call off the wedding and

273
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,840
Speaker 1: break up with her. As her husband threatened her with

274
00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:15,160
Speaker 1: these words, No he didn't, but her husband loves his

275
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,680
Speaker 1: mother more than her, so she guessed that would be

276
00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:21,040
Speaker 1: the case. I felt a little bad here. Why didn't

277
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,120
Speaker 1: she say the truth to me? She thought I wouldn't

278
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,600
Speaker 1: react if she said that she agreed. She wanted me

279
00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:28,319
Speaker 1: to react. She did not want to go on the honeymoon.

280
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:30,760
Speaker 1: Why doesn't she speak up for herself and want me

281
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:34,320
Speaker 1: to react? She said that I have always been opinionated

282
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:37,760
Speaker 1: since childhood. She tried to express her opinion too, but

283
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:41,240
Speaker 1: I have support to react the way I do. She doesn't.

284
00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:46,000
Speaker 1: The moment she shares her opinions, they are relatives call

285
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:49,880
Speaker 1: it fatherless behavior. Also, her mother doesn't support her either.

286
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:53,280
Speaker 1: That's the conversation we had. I was speechless at some points,

287
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,480
Speaker 1: but I am glad. I asked her to visit me

288
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,079
Speaker 1: and didn't react on the phone. I did it because

289
00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,439
Speaker 1: someone commented, you shouldn't trust your brother and law over

290
00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:03,640
Speaker 1: your cousin. Thanks for that, so I guess nobody lied

291
00:14:03,679 --> 00:14:05,800
Speaker 1: this time. And good thing is she agreed to say

292
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,000
Speaker 1: no for a honeymoon with her mic with her mother

293
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,839
Speaker 1: in law. I already told my brother in law that

294
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,520
Speaker 1: if my cousin says no, he has to oblige. He

295
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:17,240
Speaker 1: agreed as he read all of your comments. I suggested

296
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,360
Speaker 1: my cousin to appoint a nurse for her mother in

297
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:22,240
Speaker 1: law for her safety. I hope everything goes well with

298
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:25,440
Speaker 1: their honeymoon this time around. Another thing, I asked her

299
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:29,040
Speaker 1: to not tell me about her problems before she talks

300
00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:32,520
Speaker 1: clearly with her husband, which is good. Let's talk about

301
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,880
Speaker 1: our problems with the people who uh they relate to

302
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:39,760
Speaker 1: instead of others, and then those people right exactly. She

303
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:45,360
Speaker 1: agreed and asked me if we are okay, Well we are.

304
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:48,200
Speaker 1: We are different kinds of people in real life and

305
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:51,280
Speaker 1: in this case, we were all a holes in certain ways.

306
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:55,280
Speaker 1: Uh I poked my nose. She used that nose. Her

307
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:57,720
Speaker 1: husband doesn't have a nose. Her mother in law uses

308
00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:00,560
Speaker 1: her nose to lead her son to my brother in law.

309
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,800
Speaker 1: If you are reading this, go plan a good honeymoon

310
00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:07,480
Speaker 1: at a sea beach. You can enjoy a full family

311
00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:10,520
Speaker 1: trip another time. Maybe in December. Good time to visit

312
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:13,400
Speaker 1: the hills. You'll get snow and you need to sort

313
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:16,200
Speaker 1: out your priorities. I know my auntie is sick, but

314
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:21,280
Speaker 1: that is not an excuse to make my cousin sick mentally. Goodbye, everybody.

315
00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:23,760
Speaker 1: I'm not rude. It's just the way I talk. I

316
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:27,400
Speaker 1: wish I could change, but I don't want to. I

317
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:30,000
Speaker 1: wish I could change, but I love.

318
00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:33,600
Speaker 3: That it's jumping in the.

319
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,800
Speaker 1: There's a third update. Would I be the a hole

320
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:38,200
Speaker 1: if I don't reach out after my cousin blocked me?

321
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,200
Speaker 3: What? It's getting more messy.

322
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,680
Speaker 1: Getting it's giving even more of a message.

323
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:44,960
Speaker 3: Oh no, who?

324
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,800
Speaker 1: I never thought i'd be back here, but here I

325
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:50,600
Speaker 1: am again. If you remember me, I was the girl

326
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:52,240
Speaker 1: who called out my cousin's mother in law in public

327
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:55,160
Speaker 1: for ruining her wedding and honeymoon. The honeymoon finally happened,

328
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:58,080
Speaker 1: and without mother in law's interference. As much as I

329
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:01,680
Speaker 1: want to say that things got better, things have not completely.

330
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:04,320
Speaker 1: But I did take the advice and distance myself from

331
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:07,240
Speaker 1: my cousin's married life. I just realized today that my

332
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,440
Speaker 1: cousin has blocked me on social media.

333
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:10,320
Speaker 3: It's so weird.

334
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:13,320
Speaker 1: I don't know what happened, but from what I heard

335
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,240
Speaker 1: from my other aunt and cousins, she said I'm the

336
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:17,600
Speaker 1: one who cut contact.

337
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,840
Speaker 3: With her, so she just like is lying a bunch.

338
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:23,160
Speaker 1: Surely I did not block her. I just didn't engage

339
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,960
Speaker 1: myself in her problems. All of my cousins think I

340
00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,800
Speaker 1: should reach out and make amends, but I'm not sure

341
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,840
Speaker 1: if I want to. I have a feeling if I

342
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:33,520
Speaker 1: reach out, I have to engage in her married life again,

343
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:37,080
Speaker 1: and the problems will come like YouTube ads which I

344
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:40,560
Speaker 1: can't skip. I'm not saying it's her problems, not mine,

345
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:44,000
Speaker 1: but my brain is saying exactly that we were close

346
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,720
Speaker 1: once upon a time, but with times I don't have

347
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,440
Speaker 1: the same feelings that I used to have last year.

348
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:53,440
Speaker 1: We just fine. People change, people grow apart, people grow closer.

349
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,520
Speaker 1: But then also it's like, it's true, none of these

350
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,640
Speaker 1: things are your problems, and especially it's like.

351
00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:59,440
Speaker 3: And she keeps trying to make it your problem and

352
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:00,720
Speaker 3: also lie about things.

353
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:04,320
Speaker 1: Right, we are far apart now. I have faced the

354
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:07,879
Speaker 1: worst betrayal from my ex best friend, and the friend

355
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,520
Speaker 1: I least expected to help me pulled me out of

356
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:12,520
Speaker 1: the dark. So it's like, I'm a new me and

357
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,440
Speaker 1: want to leave the past behind. So should I reach out?

358
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,199
Speaker 1: And by the way, you can always reach out to

359
00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:21,840
Speaker 1: full episodes with stories just like this on Spotify. iHeartRadio,

360
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:25,200
Speaker 1: Apple podcasts. Wherever you listen to podcasts, just search theme

361
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,159
Speaker 1: of our show. Okay, story time and you can have

362
00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:30,879
Speaker 1: the whole world in the palm of your hands, and

363
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,479
Speaker 1: it's a world made out of stories that you can

364
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,520
Speaker 1: listen to. You have a little more story left, let's

365
00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:39,040
Speaker 1: just finish it off to it. She's still facing problems

366
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:40,800
Speaker 1: with her mother in law, and her husband wants her

367
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:43,639
Speaker 1: to adjust. He wants to balance both sides, but somehow

368
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:45,639
Speaker 1: it's not working. I have a feeling this will go

369
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,120
Speaker 1: on until someone puts his or her foot down, but

370
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:51,159
Speaker 1: nobody is Maybe that's the reason she's upset with me.

371
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,919
Speaker 1: I'm good at setting boundaries, but as all of you

372
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:57,000
Speaker 1: said before, it's not my monkey, not my circus. I

373
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,240
Speaker 1: don't know what my mother thinks about this. She doesn't

374
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,240
Speaker 1: know about the block, and I don't want to create

375
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,840
Speaker 1: a big deal out of it. I'm ninety percent sure

376
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:07,159
Speaker 1: that I shouldn't reach out, but ten percent is like,

377
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:10,520
Speaker 1: am I being selfish? Uh? And that is the end

378
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:13,240
Speaker 1: of that story. I wouldn't reach out.

379
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:14,520
Speaker 3: I'm not right now.

380
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,600
Speaker 4: I would think she's taking a lot of like she's

381
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,880
Speaker 4: making up a lot of things, and it's just frustrating.

382
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:23,520
Speaker 1: Focus on you, babe, Focus on you, on you, and

383
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:24,080
Speaker 1: then you know.

384
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:26,320
Speaker 3: And then maybe and then maybe we can focus on

385
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:27,160
Speaker 3: fixing that relationship.

386
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,919
Speaker 1: Right, But that's not coming from you. You can't You

387
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,760
Speaker 1: can't control how other people are gonna feel in their emotions.

388
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:33,440
Speaker 3: Exactly.

389
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,080
Speaker 5: My future brother in law wants my boyfriend to break

390
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,440
Speaker 5: up with me. How do I get him to leave

391
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:41,360
Speaker 5: us alone?

392
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,600
Speaker 1: Break up with your boyfriend? Easy?

393
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,480
Speaker 5: Uh? And by the way, this is a direct submission

394
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:50,359
Speaker 5: from the r slash Okay storytime subburd It no so

395
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:53,400
Speaker 5: one of ours, so thank you, one of you. I

396
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:56,200
Speaker 5: thirty one female started dating my boyfriend twenty nine male

397
00:18:56,520 --> 00:19:00,960
Speaker 5: let's call him Ethan, seven years ago this month. Whoa

398
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:05,320
Speaker 5: happy anniversary to us. Our relationship started off like any

399
00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:09,520
Speaker 5: other huge sparks at the beginning peo pew, zero issues,

400
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:14,160
Speaker 5: just total bliss. We even moved away together for work.

401
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,119
Speaker 5: Ethan worked in construction, which requires a lot of travel,

402
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,840
Speaker 5: and took me a long to a new job as

403
00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,600
Speaker 5: his helper. I got to experience what life would be

404
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,840
Speaker 5: like away from home for the first time, and Ethan

405
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:27,280
Speaker 5: was there to encourage and support me while I learned

406
00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:30,200
Speaker 5: a lot of new skills at my new job. Life

407
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:33,080
Speaker 5: was great. We eventually finished that job and moved back home.

408
00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:33,639
Speaker 3: Great.

409
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,520
Speaker 5: Ethan continued working and traveling doing some other construction jobs,

410
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,399
Speaker 5: and I found more work at home. By the way,

411
00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:45,359
Speaker 5: this comes from user redwood bird Call on the URLA. Okay, storytime,

412
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,120
Speaker 5: sup reread it and just like redwood Bird Call, did,

413
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,800
Speaker 5: you can submit your stories to our subreddit. Do it

414
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:53,960
Speaker 5: so we can read it. Do it just like this one.

415
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,280
Speaker 1: Put them there right now easy.

416
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,720
Speaker 5: During our first year together, I was introduced to his

417
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,920
Speaker 5: brother thirty eight mail we'll call him Derek. The first

418
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:03,760
Speaker 5: time we met was in a group setting with other

419
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:07,560
Speaker 5: family present. All right, he was very talkative, opinionated, and

420
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:11,679
Speaker 5: wanted to know a lot about Moah. He was decent,

421
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:15,480
Speaker 5: I guess, but annoying to me personally, a bit too

422
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:19,800
Speaker 5: nosy for my taste. Anyway, the next several times we met,

423
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,520
Speaker 5: he began to be more openly critical, and it got

424
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,600
Speaker 5: to a point where I started to not really enjoy

425
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,639
Speaker 5: his company or look forward to us making trips to

426
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:32,119
Speaker 5: visit him at all. He dominates the room at all times,

427
00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:35,160
Speaker 5: and his tone is just always so negative and angry.

428
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,639
Speaker 5: I know that's rather vague, but it would be nearly

429
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:40,840
Speaker 5: impossible to explain all the ways he exhibits this behavior

430
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:45,560
Speaker 5: for example's sake, though. One of Derek's proudest moments that

431
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:47,840
Speaker 5: he loves to share at the first chance of opening

432
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:51,800
Speaker 5: in conversation is a time he ordered a Bruski hmm,

433
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,119
Speaker 5: but did not like the way the bartender poored it,

434
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,160
Speaker 5: so he went around to the back of the counter

435
00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,840
Speaker 5: and showed the bartender how to poor it properly. This

436
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,520
Speaker 5: is how you poured. Yeah, he's one of those.

437
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:04,320
Speaker 1: Guys, David, tell you story. Oh, I outdid the bartender

438
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:05,159
Speaker 1: that one time.

439
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,639
Speaker 5: If Derek calls Ethan on the phone and asks what

440
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,600
Speaker 5: we're up to. Let's say we're going out to eat somewhere.

441
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,480
Speaker 5: He immediately responds by mocking our choice of food for

442
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:16,359
Speaker 5: that day. And it's not like just friendly banter poking

443
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,000
Speaker 5: at us. These comments turn into twenty minute rants about

444
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,880
Speaker 5: how uncultured we are.

445
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:21,679
Speaker 3: Ugh.

446
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,760
Speaker 5: It never fails, and it's gotten to where Ethan avoids

447
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,360
Speaker 5: even telling him what we're actually doing or where we're

448
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,439
Speaker 5: going so as to avoid being made fun of. So

449
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,240
Speaker 5: this guy's just really toxic and he just likes to

450
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:32,720
Speaker 5: be a bulk.

451
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's just like, Yeah, you think you're cool, You

452
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 1: think you all that?

453
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:40,199
Speaker 5: You never even seen a shred of Derek is literally

454
00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:44,359
Speaker 5: a book. Derek believes he's the greatest comedic genius since

455
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:47,720
Speaker 5: Richard Pryor and uses his jokes as a way to

456
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:49,800
Speaker 5: make fun of people. When we're all sitting around as

457
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 5: a group, he loves to go around the entire room

458
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:54,399
Speaker 5: and pick each other, pick each person apart about the

459
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:58,040
Speaker 5: flazzy season them, whether it be physical characteristics or their

460
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:02,359
Speaker 5: choice and career, etc. Somehow, Derek believes his choices in

461
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,960
Speaker 5: life are far supperier than anyone else's and he makes

462
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:09,119
Speaker 5: sure to let them know it. Naturally, when the person

463
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,840
Speaker 5: being picked on gets upset or tries to respond back

464
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:15,320
Speaker 5: with their own defense, Derek shuts it down by saying

465
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 5: He's just joking.

466
00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:19,280
Speaker 1: I'm just Derek, I'm just joking.

467
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,840
Speaker 5: Jkjk, It's just Derek being Derek jok and tries to

468
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,720
Speaker 5: make them look goofy for not getting his joke, not

469
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 5: realizing he's actually the one making himself look like a joke.

470
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,199
Speaker 5: Most people do their best to laugh it off, but

471
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:34,679
Speaker 5: the things Derek says to them are really hurtful, and

472
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,000
Speaker 5: it's easy to see how uncomfortable they start to become.

473
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:40,439
Speaker 5: He never stops talking, so everyone in his line of

474
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 5: sight is a target so long as they're within eyesight

475
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:47,280
Speaker 5: and earshot of him to make his next victim. This

476
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,160
Speaker 5: is one of the biggest things that I can't stand

477
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,879
Speaker 5: about him. He just flat out cannot have a normal

478
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,639
Speaker 5: conversation with people without putting the whole room on edge.

479
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:59,479
Speaker 5: It is exhausting. Derek is also a very proud and

480
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,280
Speaker 5: passion agnostic.

481
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 1: Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of being agnostic?

482
00:23:05,359 --> 00:23:08,080
Speaker 5: I have no problem with this, but I, however, am

483
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,879
Speaker 5: a Christian. Oh I see you. Derek knows this, and

484
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 5: apparently hey has a problem with it. He digs every

485
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,879
Speaker 5: opportunity to mock my beliefs, one example being that he

486
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,880
Speaker 5: uses swear words that are bothersome to me.

487
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,879
Speaker 1: Like gosh, darn yeah, but a bad one.

488
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 5: I don't mind cussing, but that one in particular just

489
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,639
Speaker 5: makes my skin crawl, and I can't stand when he

490
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 5: says it. I've never once tried to sway his beliefs

491
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:37,119
Speaker 5: or make him share the same beliefs as me. He

492
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,840
Speaker 5: simply is aware that I am a Christian, and to Derek,

493
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,720
Speaker 5: it's one more opportunity for him to push my buttons

494
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:46,680
Speaker 5: and have a reason to make fun of me. Outside

495
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,359
Speaker 5: of religious views, Derek cusses like a twelve year old

496
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:53,960
Speaker 5: little boy who learned a new cussword for the first time. Great,

497
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,200
Speaker 5: it's literally every other word that comes out of his mouth.

498
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,119
Speaker 5: I actually don't think I've ever heard him complete a

499
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 5: full sentence without there being a harsh language thrown in

500
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:06,240
Speaker 5: the mix. Ethan has even politely asked him to please

501
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:09,200
Speaker 5: reduce his use of bad language when he's around us.

502
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:13,159
Speaker 5: It's just a respect thing. Derek just flat out doesn't

503
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 5: know when to stop or how to read the room,

504
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,439
Speaker 5: because the room is always his. He wants to be

505
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:20,359
Speaker 5: the center of attention, so he doesn't care how he

506
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:20,840
Speaker 5: gets it.

507
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:23,120
Speaker 1: Like you can be the guy who like curses a lot,

508
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:24,760
Speaker 1: but when people around you are like can you not

509
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,240
Speaker 1: do that? You need to be like beggful and be like,

510
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:27,840
Speaker 1: all right.

511
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 5: Just chill with the kids when there's families around, like

512
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,040
Speaker 5: it's okay. Like if there's no kids around, I don't care,

513
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 5: but if there's kids around, I don't like being a

514
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,919
Speaker 5: bad influence. Yeah, that's the one time I'm like, felter

515
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:40,360
Speaker 5: your language. That's really what it boils down to. Whatever's

516
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:43,160
Speaker 5: on his mind, he's going to say no matter who

517
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:46,159
Speaker 5: it's directed to or how it might affect that person.

518
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 5: In my professional opinion, the man is certain certifiably insufferable. Lol. Ethan,

519
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 5: on the other hand, is a complete opposite of his

520
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 5: brother Derek. Ethan is kind hearted, quick to listen, and

521
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:04,119
Speaker 5: slow to speak. He is hardworking, compassionate, patient, and would

522
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:07,800
Speaker 5: truly do anything for anyone and never expects anything in return.

523
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 5: We love Ethan Lowell. One flaw Ethan used to struggle with, though, however,

524
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:16,359
Speaker 5: was standing up to his older brother. For a long time,

525
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:20,119
Speaker 5: what Derek wanted is what Ethan provided until he had

526
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 5: finally had enough. Over the years, Ethan has grown tired

527
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:27,320
Speaker 5: of his brother's constant bullying and negativity toward life, and

528
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 5: has really come to realize just how toxic Derek's behavior is.

529
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 5: The last several years, I've also managed to start speaking

530
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:36,680
Speaker 5: up for myself and Ethan by putting my foot down

531
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:40,840
Speaker 5: whenever Derek disrespects us. Nice I've maintained a level head

532
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,480
Speaker 5: at all times when communicating with him, but I've been

533
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:46,199
Speaker 5: very stern in order to make sure he knows that

534
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,560
Speaker 5: he does not get to walk all over us anymore.

535
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:52,520
Speaker 5: Let's just say Derek met his match when he met me.

536
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 5: He can't stand me because of this. The man condition it,

537
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,639
Speaker 5: but he absolutely cannot take it.

538
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,200
Speaker 1: Oh, we all know those people.

539
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:04,800
Speaker 5: I previously shared another post about Derek's antics. Feel free

540
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 5: to check that out. It's a doozy and I thought that,

541
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:11,159
Speaker 5: after a few years of letting things calm down, that

542
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:14,920
Speaker 5: we would move on and found a common ground. By now, clearly,

543
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:19,320
Speaker 5: by me writing this post, we have not. Well, let's

544
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 5: get to present day. For additional context, I have to

545
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,879
Speaker 5: also let you in on some personal things I've been

546
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 5: dealing with that have contributed to Derek not wanting Ethan

547
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 5: to be with me. I mean, you're putting Derek in

548
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:34,120
Speaker 5: his place. Twenty twenty four has been a hard year

549
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:37,359
Speaker 5: for me. For whatever reason, my body decided that all

550
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:39,920
Speaker 5: the trauma from my past was going to bubble up,

551
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 5: and it's really been taking its toll on me. I've

552
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:46,320
Speaker 5: been struggling with my mental health, which has unfortunately manifested

553
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 5: in some physical symptoms such as blurred vision, dizziness, fatigue,

554
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:54,280
Speaker 5: and social anxiety. The total opposite of who I am

555
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,800
Speaker 5: when I'm at my best. Typically, I'm a busy bee,

556
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,760
Speaker 5: love hanging out with my friends and family, and absolutely

557
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 5: cannot sit still to save my life. I love going NonStop.

558
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:09,359
Speaker 5: It's fun to me. Usually. Earlier this year, I unfortunately

559
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 5: had to give up a couple jobs that I really

560
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 5: loved because of my inability to show up and be dependable.

561
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 5: I left these jobs more so out of guilt to

562
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 5: my companies, rather than being let go as some might

563
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:23,480
Speaker 5: as assume. It was a decision I made on my own,

564
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:29,040
Speaker 5: along with my doctor's recommendation to take medical leave. Hmm, okay, Unfortunately,

565
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,119
Speaker 5: my roles needed to be filled, and I made the

566
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 5: decision to resign so that the companies, or so that

567
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,879
Speaker 5: my companies could find solid help to take over until

568
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:40,480
Speaker 5: I could return. To make a long story short, I

569
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:43,440
Speaker 5: fully cut ties with both companies because there just didn't

570
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:45,760
Speaker 5: seem to be an end in sight for what I've

571
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:47,720
Speaker 5: been battling. It was for the best.

572
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:51,159
Speaker 1: Boom maham, Well, I hope whatever is going on? Oh P,

573
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:52,960
Speaker 1: I hope, I hope you're okay.

574
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:55,639
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, there's a lot of people like that

575
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:59,359
Speaker 5: are like workaholics or just love to work NonStop, and

576
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:03,880
Speaker 5: it will eventually catch up to you. People deserves a break.

577
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:05,480
Speaker 5: They deserve a break. Are ever even such just a

578
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 5: mental break? Take it, you deserve it. Ethan was in

579
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:10,480
Speaker 5: full support of me taking the time off that I

580
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,000
Speaker 5: needed and has been and has done nothing but helped

581
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 5: me find answers since day one, even when online. I

582
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:18,360
Speaker 5: found different supplements for me to try and some eye

583
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,199
Speaker 5: exercises for me to practice every day in hopes of

584
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 5: regaining control of my vision and overcoming the blurred vision

585
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 5: I get when I have anxiety attacks. He loves me

586
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:29,879
Speaker 5: so good and he's been so caring and supportive of

587
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:34,159
Speaker 5: me even on my worst days. Despite all these setbacks,

588
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:36,480
Speaker 5: Ethan and I had actually been searching for our own

589
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:38,840
Speaker 5: home to purchase, and in July of this year, we

590
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:41,760
Speaker 5: found the one. My family was over the moon, excited

591
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:44,240
Speaker 5: with our news and so supportive of us finally making

592
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 5: big steps to make our relationship further. We get a

593
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 5: lot of jokes about not being married yet, but we

594
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 5: believe slow and steady wins the race, smiley face, and

595
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 5: it's working for us. As you might imagine, Derek was

596
00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 5: not happy to hear that Ethan was buying a home

597
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:03,840
Speaker 5: home with me. He sent Ethan several lengthy texts about

598
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 5: how he felt that Ethan and I are incompatible and

599
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 5: that it would be a bit snake to buy a

600
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 5: home with me. Ethan told him that he was planning

601
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 5: on marrying me and for Derek to stop projecting his

602
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:17,960
Speaker 5: own experiences onto us. Derek was previously engaged to a

603
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,480
Speaker 5: girl he owned a home with that went south and

604
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 5: ended in a nasty breakup. This is the other story

605
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 5: on my page. Derek was so bothered by us having

606
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 5: our own home that he actually blocked me on Facebook

607
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:32,480
Speaker 5: over it, so he didn't have to see our announcement

608
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:37,440
Speaker 5: post lol. I have messenger seats to prove this cool. Anyway,

609
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:40,200
Speaker 5: despite his disapproval, we moved in and a couple months

610
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 5: later I managed to start up my own small business

611
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:46,480
Speaker 5: working from home. Let's go over ope, one of our family.

612
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:48,440
Speaker 1: A small business. Every year.

613
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 5: M a win win because I can start earning my

614
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:56,320
Speaker 5: own money again while having full control over my own schedule.

615
00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:59,520
Speaker 5: This allows me to rest and recharge as often as

616
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:02,960
Speaker 5: I need to and still earn a decent income. And

617
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:07,160
Speaker 5: my business has been pretty successful too. Ethan has even

618
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,440
Speaker 5: joined me part time with the hopes of eventually leaving

619
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:13,040
Speaker 5: construction all together and making this our full time gig.

620
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 5: We're very excited. Recently, we had a get together with

621
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:19,280
Speaker 5: about six friends over and Derek was going to come too.

622
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 5: Ethan thought it would be a good idea to give

623
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:24,480
Speaker 5: Derek a call before they get together to ask him

624
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 5: to please take it easy, be nice to everyone, and

625
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 5: to watch his language.

626
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 3: Do you think that's gonna happen?

627
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:31,920
Speaker 1: I'm sure that won't set Derek off.

628
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:36,560
Speaker 5: Just laying some ground rules and placing some boundaries. We

629
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 5: are not out to change anyone, but we do expect

630
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 5: there to be a certain level of respect when entering

631
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 5: into our home, as it is our safe space and

632
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:46,800
Speaker 5: we do not want there to be negative energy as

633
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 5: long as we can avoid it. Derek agreed to chill

634
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:53,880
Speaker 5: out all right, but upon arriving, he announced to the

635
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 5: entire group of friends that he would be on his

636
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:58,520
Speaker 5: best behavior as he was instructed to do so by

637
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:01,720
Speaker 5: Ethan and I, even when as far as counting every

638
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 5: time a cussword slipped out and mocking us by saying, Oops,

639
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 5: there's another one. I better not get up to twenty

640
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 5: cuss words or I won't be welcome back here ever again.

641
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 5: Everyone in the room luke confused, and the whole atmosphere

642
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:18,840
Speaker 5: shifted from lighthearted and fun to just awkward. By the

643
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:21,400
Speaker 5: end of the night. After Derek left, everyone was talking

644
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,480
Speaker 5: about how uncomfortable he made them and how he just

645
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:28,960
Speaker 5: does too much, which I'm inclined to agree with. I

646
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 5: was so embarrassed and honestly so mad for several days

647
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:34,360
Speaker 5: that I just couldn't get it out of my mind,

648
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:36,720
Speaker 5: and I could feel it starting to negatively impact my

649
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 5: mental health progress. By this point, Derek had him block

650
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,360
Speaker 5: me on Facebook, so I took it upon myself to

651
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 5: go ahead and block him from my end. I did

652
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 5: this for my own piece. It didn't take Derek long

653
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:52,000
Speaker 5: to notice this, and he promptly texted Ethan to question

654
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:56,160
Speaker 5: him about it. Ethan plainly said, I don't know man,

655
00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 5: and left.

656
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 1: It at that.

657
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,840
Speaker 5: A couple weeks ago, Ethan received another their lengthy text

658
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:04,280
Speaker 5: out of the blue, from none other than Derek. And

659
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 5: this is about how much of a massive red flag

660
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:08,040
Speaker 5: I am.

661
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 1: Right, Derek, master of red flags.

662
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:14,120
Speaker 5: It is I, Derek, I have a red belt in flags.

663
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 5: His text was in reference to my mental health issues

664
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 5: and how he believes that I will waste away in

665
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:21,880
Speaker 5: bed and Ethan will have no quality of life being

666
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:24,680
Speaker 5: with someone like me. He said, I will never get better,

667
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 5: I will only get worse. God, I genuinely don't think

668
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 5: he realizes how much I actually do working from home.

669
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:34,600
Speaker 5: But it's not up to me or Ethan to explain

670
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 5: our livelihood to him. Ethan didn't respond to him. In fact,

671
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 5: he'd even read Derek's entire text. Ethan told me that

672
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 5: he read the first couple lines and knew where it

673
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:47,960
Speaker 5: was headed and just decided just to ignore it. I, however,

674
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:52,000
Speaker 5: did read the message no tonight Ethan and I had

675
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:55,640
Speaker 5: a very long conversation about what to do about Derek.

676
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:58,000
Speaker 5: I'm not even sure there's a solution to dealing with

677
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,560
Speaker 5: someone who is hell bent on trying to take away

678
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 5: our happiness. Thankfully, Ethan sees it like this, We have

679
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:07,720
Speaker 5: too much going on that we're working to make better

680
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:11,160
Speaker 5: my mental health than to place any energy into an

681
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 5: angry person's opinions of us.

682
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 1: Literally, completely irrelevant what Derek thinks about you, guys.

683
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,680
Speaker 5: I love my fella so much for the way he

684
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 5: has encouraged me and continues to gently push me to

685
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:25,520
Speaker 5: become who I am meant to be. He holds my

686
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 5: hand through my bad days, and he celebrates with me

687
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:30,120
Speaker 5: on my good days. He knows as well as I

688
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 5: do that this season is only temporary and that we

689
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:36,360
Speaker 5: still have such a full life to live together. I

690
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:38,719
Speaker 5: will not give up on getting better and on one

691
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 5: day becoming the wife he deserves to have. I refuse

692
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 5: to let a bitter person take away the love Ethan

693
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,360
Speaker 5: and I have built. Boy, is Derek in for a

694
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:48,680
Speaker 5: surprise when I make a comeback.

695
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 1: And you can come back again and again and again

696
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:54,080
Speaker 1: and listen to full episodes with stories just like this

697
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:59,160
Speaker 1: on Spotify and iHeartRadio and Apple podcasts and wherever you

698
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 1: listen to podcast just search, Okay, story time and that's

699
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 1: all you need to do to find the archive.

700
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:08,600
Speaker 5: Let's just finish this story. We don't want Derek.

701
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:10,839
Speaker 1: We know what we're doing. We're ignoring Derek. That's all

702
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:11,359
Speaker 1: we need to do.

703
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 5: I feel like we've exhausted all we know to do

704
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:17,359
Speaker 5: outside of cutting him off completely. What should we do?

705
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:19,719
Speaker 5: The last thing I want is for Ethan to lose

706
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:22,720
Speaker 5: his relationship with his brother. But I am so exhausted

707
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,600
Speaker 5: of dealing with this. I would appreciate some advice. If

708
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:28,560
Speaker 5: anyone has any to share, Thank you. Plain and simple,

709
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 5: tell Derek, you tell him, Hey, this is how you

710
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:35,560
Speaker 5: make us feel. You're not respecting our boundaries. If you

711
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:38,800
Speaker 5: keep doing this, we're cutting ties. It's plain and simple.

712
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:42,720
Speaker 5: If Derek does not get that, Boom, it's so straightforward

713
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:44,399
Speaker 5: and to the point that you don't need to walk

714
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:48,440
Speaker 5: around or beat around the bush here. It's Hey, you're

715
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:50,880
Speaker 5: being so negative towards us. We don't need it in

716
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:53,880
Speaker 5: our lives, So what are we gonna do? Boom?

717
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 1: I disagree with this take, oh, which is weird because

718
00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:59,600
Speaker 1: you said, what is technically like the right thing to do,

719
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,040
Speaker 1: but I think we need to treat Derek like he's

720
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:04,480
Speaker 1: a six year old that just asked, like, why does

721
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:08,239
Speaker 1: war happen? You can't really explain to a six year

722
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 1: old child the intricacies of geopolitical warfare. Yeah, but here's

723
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:13,400
Speaker 1: the thing, he's not a six year old, but I

724
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:15,960
Speaker 1: know you have to treat him like one because the

725
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 1: inane babble that comes out of his mouth when he's

726
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:22,400
Speaker 1: talking about you and your husband is irrelevant. It doesn't

727
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:24,960
Speaker 1: matter at all. So you're, like you just said in

728
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,880
Speaker 1: that last thing, You're like, I'm so exhausted by this,

729
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,120
Speaker 1: I'm so tired of this. But your husband got that

730
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:33,560
Speaker 1: text message and didn't even read it, and you decided

731
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:36,480
Speaker 1: to read it. You didn't need to do that. You

732
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 1: need to follow your husband's leader and just completely stop

733
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:42,640
Speaker 1: caring what this guy has to say in terms of

734
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:46,840
Speaker 1: his color commentary about your freaking relationship. It's not influencing

735
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:48,640
Speaker 1: your husband at all, so it doesn't matter. It's not

736
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:51,320
Speaker 1: It shouldn't influence you either, because he is clearly a

737
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,400
Speaker 1: dufist that you don't need to listen to.

738
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:56,160
Speaker 5: He's just it's getting exhausting at this point. Like you said,

739
00:35:56,239 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 5: your mental health is what matters most here that what

740
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:02,880
Speaker 5: do we need to do here that is best for you?

741
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:05,880
Speaker 1: Because if the other thing is if you like do

742
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,360
Speaker 1: confront Derek about it, and you're like, your goal is like,

743
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 1: I don't want to blow up my husband's relationship with

744
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:14,800
Speaker 1: his brother. If you confront him about this, you're blowing

745
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:17,640
Speaker 1: it up. Dude, it's gonna blow up. So you have

746
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:20,399
Speaker 1: to treat him like a little baby boy. But really

747
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 1: the point is is it's like the main takeaway year

748
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:25,440
Speaker 1: is Op's like, I'm exhausted by this. Stop engaging. You

749
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:28,279
Speaker 1: don't need There's no other solution here but to just

750
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 1: don't entertain his mumbling.

751
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:35,880
Speaker 5: Jumbling semantics. But also talk to Ethan. Talk to Ethan.

752
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 5: He let him take points, don't take his brother.

753
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:42,279
Speaker 1: You're worried about blowing up his situation, just worry about

754
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:43,640
Speaker 1: what he wants to do about it.

755
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:47,279
Speaker 2: Hey, John ogi host here, we're gonna get back to

756
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,319
Speaker 2: this episode, but a quick three minute break of.

757
00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 1: Ads from a sponsor's keeping the show alive.

758
00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:54,880
Speaker 3: I refuse to share my inheritance with my sisters because

759
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:57,040
Speaker 3: they excluded me for years.

760
00:36:57,719 --> 00:36:58,800
Speaker 1: That's your money.

761
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:02,280
Speaker 3: Don't let anyone tell For context, I, twenty four female,

762
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,799
Speaker 3: am the product of an affair. My father was married

763
00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:06,959
Speaker 3: when I was born, and his marriage fell apart because

764
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:09,880
Speaker 3: of it. My dad eventually divorced his now ex wife

765
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:13,040
Speaker 3: and his three kids, My half siblings, thirty two female,

766
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 3: thirty male, and twenty eight male, have always resented me

767
00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:17,960
Speaker 3: for it. That's so messed up.

768
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:20,120
Speaker 4: I understand that they probably children at the time, but like,

769
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,400
Speaker 4: oh piece a baby boopie was just born.

770
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 3: Yeah. By the way, this comes from Single Hope ten

771
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,000
Speaker 3: oh nine, and if you want to submit your own stories,

772
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:30,279
Speaker 3: just go to the art slash Okay storytime subpread it.

773
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 3: So I understand what happened between our parents is messy

774
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 3: and destroyed their happy family. But I was just a baby,

775
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:40,960
Speaker 3: and they've punished me for it my whole life growing up.

776
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 3: They excluded me from everything, they didn't want me around,

777
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 3: made cruel comments when I was and acted like I

778
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:49,960
Speaker 3: didn't exist unless they were making me feel unwelcome. The

779
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,000
Speaker 3: worst part was when my mom passed away when I

780
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:55,600
Speaker 3: was nineteen oh No. While I was mourning my mother's

781
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,960
Speaker 3: they openly celebrated. I found out that They made jokes

782
00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:04,120
Speaker 3: about how the track she took itself out, how callous Jesus,

783
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 3: and through a party less than a month after the

784
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:08,879
Speaker 3: funeral to celebrate it.

785
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:12,840
Speaker 1: That is like so like they need to go to therapy.

786
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:16,040
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. That broke me and I've been in

787
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:19,320
Speaker 3: no contact with them for years over it. Our shared

788
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 3: grandmother wasn't much better. She wasn't outright cruel to me,

789
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,840
Speaker 3: but she clearly favored my half siblings. They spent vacations

790
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:28,840
Speaker 3: in summers with her while she barely acknowledged me. She

791
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:31,160
Speaker 3: also made it known on more than one occasion that

792
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:34,080
Speaker 3: she wanted her jewelry to go to my oldest half sister,

793
00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:37,200
Speaker 3: thirty two female, when she passed away as the oldest

794
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:40,000
Speaker 3: female grandchild in the family. Since she never had any

795
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,440
Speaker 3: daughters of her own, it was well established to everyone

796
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:45,759
Speaker 3: that knew her that this was her intention. However, she

797
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:49,480
Speaker 3: didn't leave a notarized will, so legally her estate went

798
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:52,840
Speaker 3: to my dad as her own child. Just to my shock,

799
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:55,840
Speaker 3: my dad gave the entire jewelry collection to me. He

800
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 3: said he regretted how I'd been treated by the family

801
00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:00,640
Speaker 3: and wanted me to have something meaningful. It was the

802
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:03,360
Speaker 3: first time he had ever done something to truly acknowledge me,

803
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:07,480
Speaker 3: and I was floored. Now I have siblings are furious,

804
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 3: especially my oldest half sister. She is demanding I give

805
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:13,200
Speaker 3: her some of the jewelry, claiming that since she was

806
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:15,840
Speaker 3: closer to our grandmother and she had always intended for

807
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:18,960
Speaker 3: her sister to have it, it's unfair that I kept

808
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:21,759
Speaker 3: it all. She even said I wasn't really a part

809
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:24,400
Speaker 3: of the family and has been calling me selfish and

810
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 3: accusing me of stealing what was rightfully hers. But I refuse.

811
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:32,320
Speaker 3: I told her that after years of being treated like garbage,

812
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:34,480
Speaker 3: I'm not giving up the one thing my dad has

813
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:37,799
Speaker 3: ever done to acknowledge me. She accused me of being

814
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:40,960
Speaker 3: bitter and petty, saying I'm using this to punish them

815
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 3: for things that happened years ago. I'll admit part of

816
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,359
Speaker 3: me feels like I'm finally getting some conversation for their

817
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 3: horrible treatment of me. But the other part of me

818
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:51,120
Speaker 3: wonders if I'm being petty or cruel by keeping it

819
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:53,520
Speaker 3: all when the others were so much closer to her.

820
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 3: So am I The ahole edited to add due to

821
00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:00,080
Speaker 3: some people making assumptions about my mother. She didn't did

822
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:03,160
Speaker 3: not know my father was married. Originally, they married after

823
00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:06,000
Speaker 3: my father's divorce because at the time, my mother could

824
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:07,919
Speaker 3: not support the two of us by herself, and being

825
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:11,319
Speaker 3: an unmarried, pregnant woman was a major cultural taboo for her.

826
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 3: My father spent a majority of his time home when

827
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:16,879
Speaker 3: he actually bothered to come at all, trying to make

828
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 3: it up to his children and my half siblings when

829
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:21,719
Speaker 3: it was his time with custody. As far as I'm aware,

830
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 3: my mother never treated them poorly. They tended to ignore her,

831
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:28,320
Speaker 3: and she did the same when they were around our house.

832
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:30,879
Speaker 3: And there are some comments, but what do we think

833
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:34,239
Speaker 3: is Opie the a whole? I don't think so, Like

834
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:35,800
Speaker 3: is it petty? Sure?

835
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:39,680
Speaker 4: But also like when people are awful to you, what

836
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:42,799
Speaker 4: did like the other kids expect taking it beyond is

837
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:44,239
Speaker 4: Op's choice petty or not?

838
00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:46,240
Speaker 3: What did the other half.

839
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:50,480
Speaker 4: Siblings expect was gonna happen when they treated Ope terribly

840
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 4: her whole life? And then she has this opportunity to

841
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,840
Speaker 4: be like, well, I'm not giving you any of this money.

842
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 3: Because you guys. Yeah, it's kind of like at this point,

843
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:02,160
Speaker 3: like might well be petty? It's like sure, I guess

844
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:05,080
Speaker 3: to be the bigger person or whatever, or like to

845
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:08,839
Speaker 3: do the objective right thing, it would be to give

846
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:11,440
Speaker 3: the stuff. But like, at the end of the day,

847
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:14,439
Speaker 3: if these people have been terrible to you your whole

848
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:19,120
Speaker 3: life and then celebrated your mom's passing so openly and

849
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:20,960
Speaker 3: so thoroughly.

850
00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:23,279
Speaker 4: And you're no contact with them, Also, someone who didn't

851
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:26,520
Speaker 4: even know that the husband was in a marriage, like

852
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 4: she didn't.

853
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:30,399
Speaker 3: Even know, and like the dad is clearly to blame here.

854
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:33,040
Speaker 4: It's like, if you want to go attack someone, go

855
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:35,400
Speaker 4: attack your dad. He's the one who gave it to me.

856
00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:37,800
Speaker 4: Why are you coming after me? Yeah, exactly.

857
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:40,360
Speaker 3: So it's like, if all of this stuff is happening

858
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 3: and you clearly don't have any sort of positive relationship

859
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:46,759
Speaker 3: with these people and don't ever care to or don't

860
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:49,400
Speaker 3: plan to, and you're already cutting them off, like might

861
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:51,680
Speaker 3: as well just be like, yeah, screw you, guys, I'm

862
00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:52,200
Speaker 3: keeping it.

863
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:54,279
Speaker 4: And also, yes, it might be a petty decision, but

864
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:56,879
Speaker 4: it's also like a decision of like, oh, he said,

865
00:41:56,920 --> 00:41:58,399
Speaker 4: this is the one thing that I got from my dad.

866
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:01,880
Speaker 4: This is one acknowledgment I've had of his wrongdoing and

867
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:04,080
Speaker 4: of how I've been treated and all that stuff, so

868
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:05,640
Speaker 4: it's somewhat symbolic.

869
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:09,960
Speaker 3: There is an update so four days later. First, I

870
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:12,400
Speaker 3: want to thank everyone for the responses, advice, and support.

871
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 3: I never expected this post to gain so much attention,

872
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:18,319
Speaker 3: and it's been overwhelming, but also incredibly validating to know

873
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:21,359
Speaker 3: that so many of you understand Where'm After reading through

874
00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 3: the comments and reflecting on everything, I decided to stand

875
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:28,040
Speaker 3: firm in my decision to keep the jewelry. Yeay, this

876
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:30,759
Speaker 3: is the first meaningful gesture my dad has ever made

877
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:32,560
Speaker 3: towards me, and I'm not going to give it up,

878
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:34,799
Speaker 3: especially to people who have done nothing but make me

879
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:38,560
Speaker 3: feel like an outsider my entire life. For a greater clarification,

880
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:41,880
Speaker 3: the jewelry also represents a greater apology to me. No

881
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 3: one had ever apologized for the treatment I faced throughout

882
00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:47,000
Speaker 3: my entire childhood, even when I chose to cut them off.

883
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:50,200
Speaker 3: Not for the constant name calling, not for the actual

884
00:42:50,239 --> 00:42:53,640
Speaker 3: slurs they would regularly call me, Not for the unwanted

885
00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:56,360
Speaker 3: comments of my weight and how I was a pig

886
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 3: just like my mother, none of it.

887
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:02,359
Speaker 4: I'm actually wondering stuff of that, like comment slurs, if

888
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:04,880
Speaker 4: op is not white, and this family is why, and

889
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:07,880
Speaker 4: that's contributed to a lot of this kind of vitriol

890
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:10,000
Speaker 4: and stuff directed towards Ope. I mean, we don't know

891
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:12,959
Speaker 4: that for sure, but like the slurs in which case

892
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:14,480
Speaker 4: like even more so, I wouldn't want to get these

893
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:15,520
Speaker 4: people anything before.

894
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:18,960
Speaker 3: This is the only apology I've ever received, even tangentially

895
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:22,520
Speaker 3: relating to my childhood. And yes, I'm very aware of

896
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 3: how bitter I sound here. That said, I don't want

897
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:28,400
Speaker 3: to completely close the door on reconciliation, so I reached

898
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:31,160
Speaker 3: out to my dad to discuss everything. I asked him

899
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:32,920
Speaker 3: why he gave the jewelry to me and what he

900
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:35,520
Speaker 3: thought about the backlash from my half siblings. He admitted

901
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:37,920
Speaker 3: that he regrets how he handled things during my childhood

902
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:41,400
Speaker 3: and feels that he prioritized the other kids at my expense.

903
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:43,799
Speaker 3: Giving me the jewelry was his way of trying to

904
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:46,759
Speaker 3: make amends, even if it's late. I also told him

905
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:49,120
Speaker 3: about how my half siblings were treating me now and

906
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:51,360
Speaker 3: the things they had said about my mom in the past.

907
00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 3: He was upset and so that he would speak to

908
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:56,360
Speaker 3: them about their current behavior, though it wasn't my intention

909
00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:58,359
Speaker 3: and I doubt it will make much of a.

910
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:02,239
Speaker 4: Difference, but it absolutely is his responsibility. I mean, he's

911
00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 4: trying to do a nice thing quote unquote, but in

912
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,200
Speaker 4: doing that, it's opening pe.

913
00:44:06,239 --> 00:44:07,920
Speaker 3: Up to even more hate.

914
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:10,799
Speaker 4: So it's his responsibility if he's going to make this

915
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:13,879
Speaker 4: decision to also follow up and make sure that she's

916
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:15,200
Speaker 4: not getting more backlash from.

917
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:17,640
Speaker 3: The family members. Absolutely, I mean he's like the only

918
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:20,120
Speaker 3: one that kind of can even if it won't work,

919
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 3: it's like worth of time. As for my half siblings,

920
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:26,200
Speaker 3: the situation has only escalated. My oldest half sister of

921
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:28,840
Speaker 3: thirty two females sent a long message accusing me of

922
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:32,200
Speaker 3: being vindictive and selfish, still claiming that I'm taking the

923
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:35,319
Speaker 3: jewelry out of spite, which I suppose is partially true.

924
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:37,719
Speaker 3: She tried to guilt trip me again by bringing up

925
00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:39,759
Speaker 3: how close she was to our grandmother and how much

926
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 3: she wanted these specific pieces to remember her by. I

927
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:45,279
Speaker 3: didn't respond, but I've saved the messages in case things

928
00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:49,040
Speaker 3: get worse good idea. Unexpectedly, my middle half brother, thirty male,

929
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:51,719
Speaker 3: reached out privately. He admitted he was wrong for how

930
00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:54,239
Speaker 3: he treated me in the past and apologized. He said

931
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:56,280
Speaker 3: that he doesn't care about the jewelry and just wants

932
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:59,000
Speaker 3: to move forward. I told him I appreciated his apology,

933
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:01,200
Speaker 3: but I need time to process everything before I can

934
00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:04,040
Speaker 3: even consider having a relationship with them. That's a great thing.

935
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:06,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, I am like a little bit worried though, but

936
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:07,720
Speaker 4: hopefully it's just being nice.

937
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:10,799
Speaker 3: Hopefully. I am still no contact with my oldest half

938
00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:13,440
Speaker 3: sister and youngest half brother at this point. I don't

939
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:16,360
Speaker 3: see that changing. To those wondering about the jewelry itself,

940
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 3: I've decided to have some of the pieces of praise

941
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:20,759
Speaker 3: and restore it. I plan to wear a few of

942
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:23,320
Speaker 3: them on special occasions and keep the rest stored safely.

943
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 3: They hold sentimental value to me now, not because of

944
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:28,480
Speaker 3: my grandmother, but because they represent a step towards my

945
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:30,720
Speaker 3: dad finally seeing me as a part of the family,

946
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:33,959
Speaker 3: even if it's imperfect and over too. That said, after

947
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:36,520
Speaker 3: speaking with my middle half brother, I've come to understand

948
00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:39,520
Speaker 3: most of my half sister's anchor and attacks come from

949
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:41,879
Speaker 3: a place of grief. As such, I plan to give

950
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:43,920
Speaker 3: her my grandmother's favorite pair of earrings.

951
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:46,799
Speaker 4: That is much nicer than you need to be. But yeah,

952
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 4: props to you. Yeah, she wore them constantly.

953
00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:51,760
Speaker 3: And while I doubt my sister will have any gratitude

954
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:54,920
Speaker 3: towards me, I'm sure she'll appreciate the gesture nonetheless. And

955
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:58,719
Speaker 3: you know what gesture I would appreciate always, is you

956
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:02,920
Speaker 3: going to your favorite podcast up, iHeartRadio, Spotify, Apple Podcast,

957
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:06,040
Speaker 3: whatever it is, searching up Okay, story Time and finding

958
00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:09,479
Speaker 3: more episodes with stories just like this. It means so much,

959
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:11,360
Speaker 3: but there is a little bit more. But what do

960
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:14,520
Speaker 3: we think about these possible solutions right now? I honestly

961
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:17,000
Speaker 3: think Ope as being very nice. The fact that she's

962
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 3: willing to give this specific piece saying that, you know what, fine,

963
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 3: I don't care if you thank me or not, but

964
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:25,200
Speaker 3: I'm gettave it to you, is making steps towards having

965
00:46:25,239 --> 00:46:27,799
Speaker 3: about a relationship with one of her half siblings. I

966
00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:29,920
Speaker 3: think this is all right moves. I agree. I do

967
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,160
Speaker 3: think it's a classing move to at least give, like,

968
00:46:32,239 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 3: you know, the one pair of earrings, but I'm keeping

969
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:35,960
Speaker 3: the rest of it. That's a good way to go

970
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:38,400
Speaker 3: about it. But there is a little bit more. Thanks

971
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:41,640
Speaker 3: again for all the support. This whole situation has been messy,

972
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:44,239
Speaker 3: but I feel more confident in my decision now. If

973
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:48,480
Speaker 3: anything else significant happens, I'll update again and edit. Sad

974
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:51,040
Speaker 3: the comments have made me realize that I've probably been

975
00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:53,560
Speaker 3: giving my sister too much benefit of the doubt. While

976
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:55,560
Speaker 3: I do want to return the earrings to her, I

977
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:58,640
Speaker 3: think I'll offer to let her buy them back instead. Ooo.

978
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:00,720
Speaker 3: That's cool.

979
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:01,600
Speaker 1: I like that.

980
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:05,240
Speaker 3: I like that too. It's definitely like even more petty,

981
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:08,480
Speaker 3: but I like though for the people concerned that letting

982
00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:10,920
Speaker 3: her take them may incite her to sue me for

983
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:13,160
Speaker 3: the rest, I'll see how soon I can speak to

984
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:16,239
Speaker 3: a lawyer for a consultation, and that is the end

985
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:17,200
Speaker 3: of that story.

986
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:19,279
Speaker 4: I would say probably the only reason that I would

987
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:22,400
Speaker 4: probably sell them is if there was some sort of

988
00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 4: legal thing that she could do to try and take

989
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:27,080
Speaker 4: the rest of them, like that you could get away with.

990
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:29,280
Speaker 4: If it was just selling all the rest, I probably

991
00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:32,280
Speaker 4: would keep it too. Like just giving that one earring

992
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:33,399
Speaker 4: or something you don't have.

993
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:35,759
Speaker 3: To do anything. Really seems like we're headed in the

994
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:39,600
Speaker 3: right direction. Yeah, I think I wouldn't mind like giving

995
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:41,920
Speaker 3: some sort of thing, being like, okay, pick one, you're

996
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:44,120
Speaker 3: allowed one thing. That's a I get everything else. If

997
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:46,399
Speaker 3: some sort of fight comes out, and she's still being

998
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:47,799
Speaker 3: petty and like, all right, fine, if you want to

999
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 3: give me a hundred dollars, fine, if you want it

1000
00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:53,279
Speaker 3: so bad, hand over the money. But that is the

1001
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:55,880
Speaker 3: end of that story. Hey, it's Sam.

1002
00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:57,719
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to these stories. But here's three

1003
00:47:57,719 --> 00:47:59,440
Speaker 1: of bits of bads from our sponsors that keep the

1004
00:47:59,480 --> 00:47:59,960
Speaker 1: show alive.

1005
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:03,239
Speaker 4: My sister in law expects to be my maid of

1006
00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:05,240
Speaker 4: honor after ignoring me from the start.

1007
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:07,799
Speaker 3: Don't you have to like have low expectations to have

1008
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 3: any sort of happiness in life? That's how that phrase goes, right, Yeah.

1009
00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:14,760
Speaker 4: Exactly, I should be the worst possible made of honor,

1010
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:18,040
Speaker 4: and then on the day of I really step up exactly.

1011
00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:20,520
Speaker 4: For context, my husband and I started dating in our

1012
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:23,960
Speaker 4: senior year of high school. His sister, will call her Hannah,

1013
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:26,319
Speaker 4: was five years older than us and was never more

1014
00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:28,720
Speaker 4: than cool and polite with me whenever I was around.

1015
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 4: She was never around very much anyways, because she was

1016
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:33,840
Speaker 4: super busy with work and going to a local college.

1017
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:36,080
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from deep Cry six y

1018
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:39,719
Speaker 4: five three zero on the r slash Ooky Storytime subreddit,

1019
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:43,040
Speaker 4: and if you want to submit your own stories. Go there, Wow,

1020
00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:44,600
Speaker 4: this is one of our own, one of our own.

1021
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:48,600
Speaker 4: Are children not children my septics. Hannah's dynamic with my

1022
00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:52,440
Speaker 4: husband has always been competitive. Hannah is the oldest and

1023
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:55,239
Speaker 4: only girl with three brothers. My husband told me that

1024
00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:57,480
Speaker 4: growing up, none of the boys were ever allowed to

1025
00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:00,520
Speaker 4: be interested in slash have the same hobbies as Hannah,

1026
00:49:00,560 --> 00:49:03,279
Speaker 4: because Hannah, says, they get or like your parents were like, no,

1027
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:06,680
Speaker 4: only Hannah can do this. Anything that Hannah did was

1028
00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:10,240
Speaker 4: her thing, and her mom always made sure my husband

1029
00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:12,560
Speaker 4: never got to explore any of the things his sister

1030
00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:15,719
Speaker 4: already claimed. This spiked a very competitive nature in my

1031
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:18,480
Speaker 4: husband as a young boy, because he didn't understand why

1032
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:20,520
Speaker 4: he was never allowed to go horse riding or do

1033
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:24,480
Speaker 4: any of the other rather gender neutral hobbies his sister did.

1034
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:27,080
Speaker 4: He would try and do those things on his own anyways,

1035
00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:29,120
Speaker 4: and would try to be better than his sister so

1036
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:31,480
Speaker 4: he could prove to his mom he was worthy and

1037
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 4: talented enough to have the same hobby. He would always

1038
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:37,359
Speaker 4: be reprimanded and scolded and made to stop doing it, though,

1039
00:49:37,719 --> 00:49:40,760
Speaker 4: because he was being selfish and stealing the spotlight from Hannah.

1040
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:44,239
Speaker 4: Sorry if this detail is unnecessary, But fast forward to

1041
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:46,360
Speaker 4: my husband and I first year of dating Anna, I

1042
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:48,839
Speaker 4: got engaged to a guy that everyone kept warning her

1043
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:52,440
Speaker 4: was no good. She stubbornly stayed with this guy against advice.

1044
00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:52,719
Speaker 3: Though.

1045
00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 4: I got invited to the bridal shower, but the means

1046
00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:57,400
Speaker 4: in which I got invited was a little awkward. I

1047
00:49:57,440 --> 00:49:59,600
Speaker 4: had asked my husband boyfriend at the time, if I

1048
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:02,399
Speaker 4: could try off a gift for his sister. He immediately

1049
00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:04,680
Speaker 4: texts his sister and asks if I can come to

1050
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:07,720
Speaker 4: a bridal shower. I was mortified because now it seemed

1051
00:50:07,719 --> 00:50:10,279
Speaker 4: like I had invited myself and I was very new

1052
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:13,200
Speaker 4: to the family. Still, my boyfriend assured me it was fine,

1053
00:50:13,239 --> 00:50:15,279
Speaker 4: But I'm not sure if this is where the attitude

1054
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:17,960
Speaker 4: towards me started or if it was always there to

1055
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:20,560
Speaker 4: begin with. I went to a bridal shower, though, and

1056
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:24,000
Speaker 4: brought her a small gift and congratulations. She seemed happy

1057
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:26,320
Speaker 4: and greeted me nicely at the shower. It was a

1058
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:28,600
Speaker 4: little awkward, though, because I was meeting a lot of

1059
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:30,960
Speaker 4: my boyfriend's family for the first time at this shower.

1060
00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:33,400
Speaker 4: I did not stay long, though, under the excuse that

1061
00:50:33,440 --> 00:50:36,120
Speaker 4: I had homework, and only stayed thirty minutes. I was

1062
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:38,839
Speaker 4: also at my husband's wedding date. At her wedding, and

1063
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:41,960
Speaker 4: his mom insisted I come back into the bridal suite

1064
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,080
Speaker 4: for the buttoning of the dress and all the pre

1065
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:46,799
Speaker 4: wedding preparations. I tried to be supportive and stay out

1066
00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:49,600
Speaker 4: of the way at the time, and mostly just ignored me. Anyways,

1067
00:50:49,719 --> 00:50:53,000
Speaker 4: it was my husband's mom that kept insisting I be included.

1068
00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:55,640
Speaker 4: The wedding was a small church wedding, but very sweet

1069
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:58,439
Speaker 4: and intimate with close friends and family. I did tear

1070
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:00,640
Speaker 4: up at the father daughter dance and I to excuse

1071
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:02,960
Speaker 4: myself to the bathroom so no one would see me cry.

1072
00:51:03,239 --> 00:51:05,920
Speaker 4: I cried because my father had left my family two

1073
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:08,279
Speaker 4: years prior, and it hit me that I would never

1074
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:09,920
Speaker 4: get a father daughter dance at.

1075
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:12,240
Speaker 3: My future wedding. Oh that's so sad.

1076
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:15,000
Speaker 4: I only told my husband boyfriend why I was upset,

1077
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:17,880
Speaker 4: and I pulled myself together. I don't think anyone else noticed,

1078
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:20,080
Speaker 4: or if they did, they never asked. Later for the

1079
00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:23,279
Speaker 4: family photos, my husband's mom insisted I get into some

1080
00:51:23,320 --> 00:51:27,040
Speaker 4: of the photos. Less than a year later, Hannah filed

1081
00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:30,080
Speaker 4: for divorce because the guy she married turned out to

1082
00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:33,239
Speaker 4: be the embodiment of her and was a terrible, no

1083
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 4: good person, just as her family and friends had tried

1084
00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:37,480
Speaker 4: to warn her all along.

1085
00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:40,200
Speaker 3: Well, it's hard to you know. Sometimes people need to

1086
00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:42,880
Speaker 3: learn that lesson themselves. Yeah, when you're in that situation,

1087
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:45,600
Speaker 3: you have to learn the harder. But that still says Yeah.

1088
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:48,880
Speaker 4: My husband was incredibly supportive of her during this time,

1089
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:52,880
Speaker 4: but she became reclusive and depressed. She buried herself in work,

1090
00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:55,960
Speaker 4: changed her major in college, and rarely came to any

1091
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:58,920
Speaker 4: family function. When she did, I barely got an acknowledgment

1092
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:01,200
Speaker 4: of existence. I would try to hug and read her,

1093
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:06,200
Speaker 4: start conversations, et cetera, but she remained very distant and cool.

1094
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:08,520
Speaker 4: When my husband and I would snuggle on the couch,

1095
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:10,880
Speaker 4: I would sometimes catch her staring at us, and then

1096
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:12,960
Speaker 4: she would look away. I felt bad for her because

1097
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:15,560
Speaker 4: I knew that seeing our relationship must hurt, since hers

1098
00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:18,279
Speaker 4: ended so badly. My husband and I were together for

1099
00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:21,960
Speaker 4: five years and never once did Hannah ever ask how

1100
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,840
Speaker 4: I was doing, ask how college was, or try to

1101
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:26,959
Speaker 4: be involved in my life or my husband's life.

1102
00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:29,799
Speaker 3: Yeah. So clearly there's no real relationship here.

1103
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:32,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, it doesn't seem like there's any animosity, but just

1104
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:36,360
Speaker 4: like nothing, it's just non existent neutral. When we started

1105
00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:38,799
Speaker 4: planning our wedding, we told Hannah about the wedding date

1106
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:41,400
Speaker 4: we had chosen a year beforehand. The date was special

1107
00:52:41,440 --> 00:52:43,400
Speaker 4: to us and the date would fall on our sixth

1108
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:46,560
Speaker 4: year anniversary of being together. She hemmed about the date

1109
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:48,759
Speaker 4: and said that with her work, she could never be

1110
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:50,440
Speaker 4: sure about what days she would have to work on.

1111
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:52,680
Speaker 4: She told us she would more than likely have to work.

1112
00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:53,680
Speaker 3: We didn't pressure.

1113
00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:55,839
Speaker 4: We just said we understood if she had to work,

1114
00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:57,600
Speaker 4: but if she could be there, we would love to

1115
00:52:57,640 --> 00:52:59,440
Speaker 4: have her. My husband would be the first of her

1116
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:01,920
Speaker 4: brothers to get married, and he still currently has the

1117
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:05,200
Speaker 4: longest lasting relationship out of any of his siblings. It

1118
00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:07,760
Speaker 4: did strike me as odd that she didn't even consider

1119
00:53:07,880 --> 00:53:10,560
Speaker 4: taking a personal day or a day off, or even

1120
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:12,640
Speaker 4: talking to her boss, seeing as we gave her a

1121
00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:16,720
Speaker 4: whole year's notice. Anyways, fast forward to a month before

1122
00:53:16,719 --> 00:53:19,000
Speaker 4: our big wedding and my husband gets a text along

1123
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:21,799
Speaker 4: the lines of Hey, Hannah's wondering if op has made

1124
00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:24,120
Speaker 4: a group chat with the bridal party yet and if

1125
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:26,800
Speaker 4: maybe she forgot to include Hannah in the chat.

1126
00:53:27,200 --> 00:53:29,880
Speaker 3: Nope, the group chot exists. You're not getting any of

1127
00:53:29,920 --> 00:53:32,040
Speaker 3: the texts. You're not in it because you're not in it.

1128
00:53:32,120 --> 00:53:34,279
Speaker 4: You're not in it because we don't have a relationship,

1129
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:36,280
Speaker 4: So you're not gonna be in my bridal party.

1130
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:39,600
Speaker 3: Yeah sorry either way. OPI is probably just busy with

1131
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:41,880
Speaker 3: wedding planning and forgot to include her. Let me know

1132
00:53:41,920 --> 00:53:43,880
Speaker 3: what tress she needs to get as soon as possible,

1133
00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:45,279
Speaker 3: as we are on a time crunch. Now.

1134
00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:48,239
Speaker 4: To say my mouth hit the floor is an understatement.

1135
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:52,759
Speaker 4: I was flabbergasted. A year ago she told us she

1136
00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:55,120
Speaker 4: more than likely wouldn't be able to come because of work.

1137
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:58,120
Speaker 4: Neither my husband nor I had spoken to her since then,

1138
00:53:58,640 --> 00:54:00,839
Speaker 4: not out of Spider or anything. We just never stayed

1139
00:54:00,880 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 4: in contact with her period. We had sent her and

1140
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:05,360
Speaker 4: her new current boyfriend an invite to the wedding.

1141
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:06,120
Speaker 3: That was it.

1142
00:54:06,239 --> 00:54:09,960
Speaker 4: I had picked my bridal party, wedding colors, dresses, and

1143
00:54:10,040 --> 00:54:12,719
Speaker 4: everything over a year ago. I never even thought to

1144
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:16,200
Speaker 4: include Hannah because she knew nothing about me or my friends.

1145
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:20,399
Speaker 4: Because you guys are not friends, right, I don't understand

1146
00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:23,320
Speaker 4: she never stayed in touch with my husband aka her brother.

1147
00:54:23,640 --> 00:54:25,880
Speaker 4: So as far as I knew she could barely be

1148
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:28,040
Speaker 4: bothered to take a day off to attend our wedding,

1149
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:31,040
Speaker 4: let alone be a part of it. My husband immediately

1150
00:54:31,080 --> 00:54:33,000
Speaker 4: tried to do damage control and asked me if I

1151
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:35,399
Speaker 4: could just make Hannah a bridesmaid to keep the peace.

1152
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:39,600
Speaker 4: At first I said absolutely not, because I was fuming

1153
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:41,880
Speaker 4: that she would care so little about us as a couple,

1154
00:54:41,920 --> 00:54:43,600
Speaker 4: and then a month before a wedding, assumed she was

1155
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:46,120
Speaker 4: a bridesmaid. I had never mentioned it or asked her.

1156
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:48,520
Speaker 4: I never even had a conversation with her in which

1157
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:51,320
Speaker 4: she could remotely accuse me of misleading her into thinking

1158
00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:53,840
Speaker 4: she was part of the bridal party. The only conversation

1159
00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:55,759
Speaker 4: we had was about the wedding date and that we

1160
00:54:55,800 --> 00:54:57,480
Speaker 4: would love to have her at her wedding if she

1161
00:54:57,520 --> 00:54:59,560
Speaker 4: didn't have to work. Not wanting to cause a rift

1162
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:01,800
Speaker 4: in his family though since now his mom was involved,

1163
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:05,480
Speaker 4: I finally calmed down and consented to make her a bridesmaid,

1164
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:07,440
Speaker 4: and we planned who we would ask to be an

1165
00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:10,239
Speaker 4: extra groomsman to walk with her. For context, the other

1166
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:13,480
Speaker 4: two brothers had been asked by my husband to be groomsmen,

1167
00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:16,239
Speaker 4: so at hindsight, maybe she just assumed that since all

1168
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:17,920
Speaker 4: the brothers were a part of the wedding, then she

1169
00:55:18,040 --> 00:55:20,799
Speaker 4: must be two. We decided we would call Hannah ourselves

1170
00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:23,600
Speaker 4: and explain the situation that we thought based on our

1171
00:55:23,680 --> 00:55:25,759
Speaker 4: last conversation, she wasn't going to be able to get

1172
00:55:25,760 --> 00:55:27,879
Speaker 4: off of work for a wedding, so we didn't want

1173
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:30,360
Speaker 4: to include her in the bridal party. If she wasn't sure,

1174
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:32,880
Speaker 4: she couldn't be there. However, if she was now able

1175
00:55:32,920 --> 00:55:34,640
Speaker 4: to come to our wedding, we would be more than

1176
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:37,120
Speaker 4: happy to include her and make her a bridesmaid. I

1177
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:39,680
Speaker 4: tried calling Hannah first, no answer. I sent her a

1178
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:41,760
Speaker 4: text just in case she didn't have my number saved,

1179
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:44,000
Speaker 4: and then tried calling her a second time. It rang

1180
00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:46,680
Speaker 4: twice and then sent me to voicemail. I told my

1181
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:48,920
Speaker 4: husband to try calling her, since she might not answer

1182
00:55:48,920 --> 00:55:52,080
Speaker 4: a strange number. My husband tried calling her, no answer.

1183
00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:54,560
Speaker 4: We knew from his mom Hannah I'd just been on

1184
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:56,440
Speaker 4: the phone with his mom, so it wasn't like she

1185
00:55:56,480 --> 00:55:59,440
Speaker 4: was suddenly busy. He tried calling us second time, and

1186
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:02,759
Speaker 4: still no answer. My husband texted his mom that he

1187
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:05,600
Speaker 4: was trying to call Hannah, and his mom responded with, well,

1188
00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:07,839
Speaker 4: Anna's feeling a little hurt because she feels like y'all

1189
00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:10,200
Speaker 4: really don't want her at your wedding now, so she's

1190
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:12,879
Speaker 4: just thinking about not coming at all now, girl, pig one,

1191
00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:15,919
Speaker 4: you can't be switching up like this. Also, they said

1192
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:17,960
Speaker 4: it in the nicest way possible. They were like, hey,

1193
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:20,120
Speaker 4: didn't realize you were coming to the wedding. Sorry, Yeah,

1194
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:21,920
Speaker 4: we'd love to have you as a bridesmaid because you

1195
00:56:21,960 --> 00:56:23,680
Speaker 4: told me that you probably wouldn't be able to come

1196
00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:24,160
Speaker 4: into the wedding.

1197
00:56:24,200 --> 00:56:25,400
Speaker 3: Told me that you were gonna be there. What are

1198
00:56:25,400 --> 00:56:28,120
Speaker 3: you talking about for a stupid reason too? I'm sorry,

1199
00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:32,120
Speaker 3: you're making no sense, nothing, not at all, not one sense. Ever.

1200
00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:34,840
Speaker 4: My husband told his mom we did want her to

1201
00:56:34,880 --> 00:56:37,319
Speaker 4: come and that we were trying to resolve things, but

1202
00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:40,480
Speaker 4: that she wasn't picking up the phone. My husband then

1203
00:56:40,600 --> 00:56:43,560
Speaker 4: tried calling Hannah a third time and a ring twice

1204
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:46,000
Speaker 4: before setting him straight to voicemail. At this point, my

1205
00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:49,000
Speaker 4: husband's ticked off and says that he refuses to grovel

1206
00:56:49,040 --> 00:56:50,640
Speaker 4: and beg for her to be in the wedding when

1207
00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:52,040
Speaker 4: she never prioritized coming in.

1208
00:56:52,040 --> 00:56:52,640
Speaker 3: The first place.

1209
00:56:52,800 --> 00:56:55,360
Speaker 4: We didn't keep calling and she never called back or

1210
00:56:55,360 --> 00:56:58,160
Speaker 4: responded to any of my texts. She didn't come to

1211
00:56:58,200 --> 00:57:01,319
Speaker 4: my bridal shower or our big web. We never got

1212
00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:04,439
Speaker 4: a card, a congratulations, or reason why she wasn't there.

1213
00:57:04,640 --> 00:57:07,239
Speaker 4: I was baffled that she would treat family this way,

1214
00:57:07,520 --> 00:57:10,520
Speaker 4: but my husband's mom was upset at us because traditionally,

1215
00:57:10,560 --> 00:57:12,640
Speaker 4: the groom's sister is always a bridesmaid. What are you

1216
00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:13,640
Speaker 4: freaking talking about.

1217
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:17,000
Speaker 3: No, it's traditionally the people that the bride is friends with,

1218
00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:19,960
Speaker 3: the people that the bride is close with. Traditionally, the

1219
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:23,880
Speaker 3: groom's sister will not say a year in advance, sorry,

1220
00:57:23,920 --> 00:57:26,480
Speaker 3: have for work, Yeah, I can't go, sorry, Like traditionally,

1221
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:28,000
Speaker 3: this is just gonna be there. Yeah.

1222
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,560
Speaker 4: Traditionally when people say, oh, I can't go, you think

1223
00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:32,400
Speaker 4: that they can't go, so you get other people to

1224
00:57:32,400 --> 00:57:35,040
Speaker 4: fill in. Traditions be nothing anymore. I am from the

1225
00:57:35,080 --> 00:57:37,760
Speaker 4: South and I have never heard of this tradition or

1226
00:57:37,840 --> 00:57:40,160
Speaker 4: even been to a wedding where this tradition is followed.

1227
00:57:40,320 --> 00:57:42,360
Speaker 4: I always thought that the bridesmaids were picked by the

1228
00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:44,680
Speaker 4: bride and were people that were close to the bride

1229
00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:47,919
Speaker 4: and groom and supportive of the bride and groom. Either way,

1230
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,160
Speaker 4: we have seen his sister twice since our wedding, and

1231
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:53,320
Speaker 4: the topic has never been brought up. She's especially cold

1232
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:55,960
Speaker 4: and distant from us. We recently attended the wedding of

1233
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:57,880
Speaker 4: one of the other brothers and she was there as

1234
00:57:57,880 --> 00:57:58,600
Speaker 4: a bridesmaid.

1235
00:57:58,760 --> 00:57:59,320
Speaker 3: She has a.

1236
00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:02,600
Speaker 4: Wonderful relationship with the other brother's wife, talks and laughs

1237
00:58:02,600 --> 00:58:05,080
Speaker 4: with her, goes shopping with her. And now I'm the

1238
00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:08,080
Speaker 4: sister in law on the outside looking in. I feel

1239
00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:10,560
Speaker 4: left out and hurt. I tried to be friendly with

1240
00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:12,680
Speaker 4: her and to get to know her. She never let

1241
00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:14,880
Speaker 4: down her walls to let me pass the polite barrier.

1242
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:17,720
Speaker 4: I did greet her at the wedding and I hugged her.

1243
00:58:17,920 --> 00:58:20,440
Speaker 4: She seems surprised at the warmness of my greeting and

1244
00:58:20,480 --> 00:58:22,960
Speaker 4: did not hug that. My husband also hugged her and

1245
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:25,720
Speaker 4: sparked a small conversation with her. She seemed to warm

1246
00:58:25,760 --> 00:58:27,520
Speaker 4: up to my husband a bit more by the end

1247
00:58:27,520 --> 00:58:29,960
Speaker 4: of the evening, but she never talked to me the

1248
00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:33,200
Speaker 4: entire night, even when I was sitting right beside her

1249
00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:34,800
Speaker 4: and trying to start a conversation.

1250
00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:37,680
Speaker 3: By the way, you can listen to our conversations if

1251
00:58:37,720 --> 00:58:41,120
Speaker 3: you go to full episodes with stories just like this

1252
00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:44,400
Speaker 3: on Spotify, Apple podcast or iHeartRadio and search a book

1253
00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:46,480
Speaker 3: astart time. But there is a little bit left to

1254
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:49,560
Speaker 3: this story. Do any final thoughts though, Yeah, it's just

1255
00:58:49,680 --> 00:58:53,520
Speaker 3: the same stuff. Like, that's just I don't understand having

1256
00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:56,520
Speaker 3: all these expectations when you're not doing your part. It's

1257
00:58:56,520 --> 00:58:57,040
Speaker 3: like you can't.

1258
00:58:57,240 --> 00:58:59,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then getting mad about the you know, the

1259
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:01,880
Speaker 4: switch up when there wasn't really a switch up.

1260
00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:04,000
Speaker 3: It was like you switching up. Yeah, it's like you're

1261
00:59:04,040 --> 00:59:06,479
Speaker 3: just like, okay, so, like this is what's gonna happen.

1262
00:59:06,720 --> 00:59:09,000
Speaker 3: I understand this. I'm not gonna talk to her about

1263
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:11,040
Speaker 3: what's gonna happen to see where she's at. I'm just

1264
00:59:11,040 --> 00:59:13,080
Speaker 3: gonna expect to be there. And then when I'm not

1265
00:59:13,600 --> 00:59:15,040
Speaker 3: what she can't read my mind?

1266
00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:15,760
Speaker 5: Huh.

1267
00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:17,880
Speaker 4: And then when she says, oh, didn't realize you were coming,

1268
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:20,320
Speaker 4: I'm gonna be like, well, now I'm not coming for

1269
00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:22,000
Speaker 4: sure because you didn't know I was coming.

1270
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:27,040
Speaker 3: You're being so poudy, so poudy. Yeah, ridiculous, ridiculous. But

1271
00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:29,080
Speaker 3: there's a little bit left to the story. Let's do it.

1272
00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:31,040
Speaker 4: I guess I just don't know what to do now,

1273
00:59:31,080 --> 00:59:33,600
Speaker 4: and it hurts to be the disliked sister in law.

1274
00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:35,560
Speaker 4: I have never been close to her, and now I

1275
00:59:35,560 --> 00:59:38,040
Speaker 4: feel doomed to never be close with her or any

1276
00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:40,200
Speaker 4: of the other sisters in law because now that my

1277
00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:42,800
Speaker 4: husband and I live long distance, all the other girls

1278
00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:45,520
Speaker 4: have heard is whatever opinion of me Hannah has already

1279
00:59:45,520 --> 00:59:47,840
Speaker 4: told them, So when I get to meet them, I

1280
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:50,360
Speaker 4: get the side eye and I'm left out of their sparkling,

1281
00:59:50,440 --> 00:59:53,320
Speaker 4: laughing conversations. So am I the ale for not making

1282
00:59:53,360 --> 00:59:56,000
Speaker 4: her bridesmaid? To begin with, thank you for sticking around

1283
00:59:56,000 --> 00:59:58,360
Speaker 4: to the end, and there are some comments to finish

1284
00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:01,080
Speaker 4: the story off. Comment one, yes, did you or your

1285
01:00:01,160 --> 01:00:03,720
Speaker 4: husband tell your mother in law that Hannah specifically stated

1286
01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:05,200
Speaker 4: that she was probably going to have to work on

1287
01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:07,480
Speaker 4: the day of your wedding? If not, please tell your

1288
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:09,640
Speaker 4: mother in law what actually happened and how you feel

1289
01:00:09,640 --> 01:00:12,440
Speaker 4: that Hannah is bullying. You tell the family that this

1290
01:00:12,520 --> 01:00:15,520
Speaker 4: situation needs to be resolved amicably, or you will be

1291
01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:18,440
Speaker 4: going low contact because of Hannah's bullying. If you have

1292
01:00:18,520 --> 01:00:20,560
Speaker 4: told mother in law what actually happened, then I would

1293
01:00:20,560 --> 01:00:23,200
Speaker 4: tell a family, the whole family, that you and hubby

1294
01:00:23,240 --> 01:00:25,920
Speaker 4: are going low contact because of the way Hannah is

1295
01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:28,120
Speaker 4: treating you. How it makes you feel bad, how you

1296
01:00:28,160 --> 01:00:30,960
Speaker 4: feel excluded, all the feels. If they don't do anything,

1297
01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:33,120
Speaker 4: then you know you made the right decision and follow

1298
01:00:33,160 --> 01:00:35,960
Speaker 4: through with low contact. If they do take actions to

1299
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:40,120
Speaker 4: correct it, then you get resolution and hopefully happiness and reconciliation.

1300
01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:43,360
Speaker 4: Opie says. My mother in law knows what happened. We

1301
01:00:43,440 --> 01:00:45,760
Speaker 4: explained to her that Hannah told us she would probably

1302
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:47,960
Speaker 4: be working during our wedding. I thought I mentioned this

1303
01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:49,800
Speaker 4: in the original post, but mother in law is the

1304
01:00:49,840 --> 01:00:52,240
Speaker 4: one who sent the first text letting us know Hannah

1305
01:00:52,240 --> 01:00:54,840
Speaker 4: expected to be at bridesmaid in the first place. But

1306
01:00:54,960 --> 01:00:57,200
Speaker 4: all mother in law told us afterward is that Hannah

1307
01:00:57,200 --> 01:00:59,280
Speaker 4: felt left out and pretty much just left us to

1308
01:00:59,320 --> 01:01:02,160
Speaker 4: try and fix things, and it again went back to

1309
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:04,680
Speaker 4: the whole tradition thing. Mother in law has tried to

1310
01:01:04,800 --> 01:01:08,840
Speaker 4: force video calls between us, like at Christmas time last year,

1311
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:11,200
Speaker 4: but it was very awkward and forced. When Hannah does

1312
01:01:11,240 --> 01:01:13,959
Speaker 4: talk to us, when she talks, it's just for mother

1313
01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:16,480
Speaker 4: in law's sake. We are pretty much already low contact

1314
01:01:16,520 --> 01:01:19,360
Speaker 4: with Hannah anyways, as she never contacts us and we

1315
01:01:19,360 --> 01:01:21,440
Speaker 4: don't reach out to her. We haven't said anything to

1316
01:01:21,480 --> 01:01:23,640
Speaker 4: anyone else in the family about it because mother in

1317
01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:26,040
Speaker 4: law would get upset if we said something against Hannah.

1318
01:01:26,120 --> 01:01:28,560
Speaker 4: Mother in law is very protective of Hannah and it

1319
01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:31,600
Speaker 4: would cause a big uproar if we called her out.

1320
01:01:31,800 --> 01:01:35,400
Speaker 4: The whole family has tiptoed around Hannah since her divorce, understandably,

1321
01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:37,840
Speaker 4: maybe they don't want to risk her cutting contact with

1322
01:01:37,880 --> 01:01:40,200
Speaker 4: the whole family. My husband is of the opinion that

1323
01:01:40,240 --> 01:01:42,560
Speaker 4: he just doesn't want to stir anything up if it's

1324
01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:45,400
Speaker 4: quiet right now. His mom can be a very hard

1325
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:48,440
Speaker 4: person to deal with at times as well. I'm convinced

1326
01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:51,240
Speaker 4: she is a covert, self absorbed person. So we have

1327
01:01:51,360 --> 01:01:53,560
Speaker 4: just slowly been going low contact.

1328
01:01:53,240 --> 01:01:55,160
Speaker 3: With mother in law as well. There is another comment

1329
01:01:55,440 --> 01:01:58,000
Speaker 3: comment to maybe try to get the new sister in

1330
01:01:58,120 --> 01:02:00,440
Speaker 3: law alone and tell her how you feel. Let her

1331
01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:02,320
Speaker 3: know that you feel like she made an opinion about

1332
01:02:02,360 --> 01:02:05,480
Speaker 3: you without her ever meeting you. Really let her know.

1333
01:02:05,560 --> 01:02:07,480
Speaker 4: If that's really how she is, then that's fine and

1334
01:02:07,480 --> 01:02:09,400
Speaker 4: you'll leave her alone, but you feel like you deserve

1335
01:02:09,440 --> 01:02:11,080
Speaker 4: a chance to tell your side of things.

1336
01:02:11,160 --> 01:02:13,000
Speaker 3: I would also have my husband talk to his brother

1337
01:02:13,040 --> 01:02:13,440
Speaker 3: about it.

1338
01:02:13,520 --> 01:02:15,600
Speaker 4: You will need to try and work something out before

1339
01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:18,080
Speaker 4: you have children. My brother in law couldn't stand me,

1340
01:02:18,200 --> 01:02:20,240
Speaker 4: but I made the effort so that our children could

1341
01:02:20,280 --> 01:02:23,120
Speaker 4: grow up together as cousins. I think it's very important,

1342
01:02:23,160 --> 01:02:24,200
Speaker 4: and my children.

1343
01:02:23,920 --> 01:02:25,960
Speaker 3: Cherish those relationships. Opie says.

1344
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:27,600
Speaker 4: I have not sat down with my new sister in

1345
01:02:27,680 --> 01:02:30,040
Speaker 4: law privately and talked to her about this, But my

1346
01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:32,960
Speaker 4: husband and I were sitting with his brother is then fiance,

1347
01:02:33,200 --> 01:02:36,200
Speaker 4: and my husband casually brought up the conflict and asked

1348
01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:38,880
Speaker 4: if they had heard anything from Hannah. Sister in law

1349
01:02:38,920 --> 01:02:41,320
Speaker 4: got really quiet and pulled out her phone and started

1350
01:02:41,360 --> 01:02:44,320
Speaker 4: texting someone. I couldn't see who, but I almost wondered

1351
01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:46,400
Speaker 4: if it was Hannah. All the brother said was he

1352
01:02:46,480 --> 01:02:48,880
Speaker 4: knew Annah was upset and that we should probably try

1353
01:02:48,880 --> 01:02:52,080
Speaker 4: to resolve that before our wedding. So sister in law

1354
01:02:52,160 --> 01:02:55,080
Speaker 4: got to hear our side but said absolutely nothing. The

1355
01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:57,400
Speaker 4: conversation got kind of tense, so it felt like they

1356
01:02:57,480 --> 01:03:00,400
Speaker 4: knew more about the situation but weren't telling us. They

1357
01:03:00,520 --> 01:03:02,840
Speaker 4: changed the subject and we let it drop and never

1358
01:03:02,960 --> 01:03:05,440
Speaker 4: brought it up again. That was before our wedding and

1359
01:03:05,480 --> 01:03:07,840
Speaker 4: their wedding. They both came to our wedding and had

1360
01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:10,440
Speaker 4: a good time I tried to be super welcoming to

1361
01:03:10,480 --> 01:03:13,440
Speaker 4: her and includer on our wedding day. Then Hannah ends

1362
01:03:13,480 --> 01:03:15,640
Speaker 4: up being a bridesmaid at their wedding the next year.

1363
01:03:15,760 --> 01:03:18,720
Speaker 4: There's no bad blood between myself and new sister in law,

1364
01:03:19,120 --> 01:03:21,200
Speaker 4: but I know Hannah has gotten to her and I

1365
01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:23,520
Speaker 4: am still on the outside. My husband has a good

1366
01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:25,600
Speaker 4: enough relationship with his brother that I think they would

1367
01:03:25,600 --> 01:03:28,240
Speaker 4: allow our future kids to have relationships. I just feel

1368
01:03:28,280 --> 01:03:29,840
Speaker 4: like I will never be able to get close to

1369
01:03:29,840 --> 01:03:33,000
Speaker 4: his family because it feels like I messed up.

1370
01:03:33,160 --> 01:03:36,760
Speaker 3: Oh boy, oh man, And that's the end of the story.

1371
01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:38,919
Speaker 3: It's a lot, But I think it's just like knowing

1372
01:03:38,960 --> 01:03:41,920
Speaker 3: that it seems like you really didn't do anything. Yeah,

1373
01:03:41,960 --> 01:03:44,280
Speaker 3: and sometimes unfortunately people just don't like you and there's

1374
01:03:44,360 --> 01:03:46,200
Speaker 3: really little that you can do about it.

1375
01:03:46,560 --> 01:03:48,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, I think having a one on one

1376
01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:50,840
Speaker 4: conversation with the other sister in law trying to talk

1377
01:03:50,880 --> 01:03:54,280
Speaker 4: to her, you don't necessarily have to explain everything that happened.

1378
01:03:54,320 --> 01:03:55,800
Speaker 3: But I think just saying like, hey, we'd love to

1379
01:03:55,800 --> 01:03:56,960
Speaker 3: hang out with you one on one.

1380
01:03:56,920 --> 01:03:59,760
Speaker 4: Let's go get coffee, let's go shopping and stuff, and

1381
01:03:59,800 --> 01:04:01,920
Speaker 4: just make an effort to hang out with her one

1382
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:04,120
Speaker 4: on one without all of the drama and stuff.

1383
01:04:04,320 --> 01:04:06,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree. I think you can put in that

1384
01:04:06,440 --> 01:04:09,080
Speaker 3: little effort if she doesn't reciprocate. I don't think you

1385
01:04:09,120 --> 01:04:11,080
Speaker 3: need to continue doing it. You don't need to carry

1386
01:04:11,120 --> 01:04:13,000
Speaker 3: that at all. And it could just be the kind

1387
01:04:13,040 --> 01:04:15,000
Speaker 3: of thing where it's like, Okay, you know what you

1388
01:04:15,040 --> 01:04:18,560
Speaker 3: did was fine. You know that you shouldn't feel guilty

1389
01:04:18,600 --> 01:04:21,360
Speaker 3: for it because it was justified and it was not

1390
01:04:21,520 --> 01:04:24,280
Speaker 3: a problem at all, exactly, And if they don't agree,

1391
01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:27,880
Speaker 3: then they don't agree. Maybe eventually they'll come around, but

1392
01:04:28,200 --> 01:04:32,080
Speaker 3: you can't control it so exactly. Yeah, but that is

1393
01:04:32,160 --> 01:04:33,520
Speaker 3: the end of that story.