WEBVTT - ITS Home Edition: Bebe Rexha 0:00:01.160 --> 0:00:04.720 Welcome to Inside the Studio presented by I Heart Radio. 0:00:05.240 --> 0:00:13.600 I'm your host Joe Levy. All right, little bit of 0:00:13.600 --> 0:00:17.480 a change this time around. We are welcoming two guests 0:00:17.760 --> 0:00:19.840 to this episode of the home edition of the show, 0:00:19.880 --> 0:00:22.799 BB Rexa and her dog Bear, who makes a brief 0:00:22.840 --> 0:00:26.120 appearance and if it's too brief for you, Bear Rexa 0:00:26.280 --> 0:00:28.639 does have her own Instagram, which is how I know 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:33.600 she really really likes vanilla milkshakes. As for BB, well, 0:00:34.040 --> 0:00:38.160 I know she's a really, really talented hit maker, able 0:00:38.200 --> 0:00:40.479 to write a number one hip hop single with M 0:00:40.520 --> 0:00:42.599 and M and also write and perform a number one 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:45.720 country single with Florida Georgia Line. Her duet Meant to 0:00:45.760 --> 0:00:49.360 Be with Florida Georgia Line was just two weeks shy 0:00:49.400 --> 0:00:53.040 of spending an entire year at the top of Billboards 0:00:53.120 --> 0:00:56.040 Country Singles chart. I mean, this woman has range. And 0:00:56.080 --> 0:01:00.080 she told our quarantine correspondent Jordan Runtog all about of 0:01:00.280 --> 0:01:04.240 very autobiographical origins of her new single with Dojakat Baby, 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:07.440 I'm Jealous. The home edition of Inside the Studio it's 0:01:07.480 --> 0:01:10.400 all about letting you into the creative lives of musicians. 0:01:10.480 --> 0:01:14.120 During lockdown and BB has been recording from the comfort 0:01:14.160 --> 0:01:17.600 of her couch vocals for what sounds like a really 0:01:17.720 --> 0:01:21.840 personal album that explores her life, her insecurities, and how 0:01:21.880 --> 0:01:24.399 she's dealt with them. Also, when she gives the pro 0:01:24.480 --> 0:01:27.720 tip to stay hydrated during times of stress, listen up 0:01:27.800 --> 0:01:29.920 because this woman speaks the truth. And I say this 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:32.119 as somebody with a glass of water in his hand. 0:01:32.319 --> 0:01:34.720 As always, if you enjoy this episode, be sure to 0:01:34.800 --> 0:01:37.679 check out the I Heart Radio podcast that Jordan's hosts. 0:01:37.920 --> 0:01:41.680 It's called Rivals Music's Greatest Feuds and it is available 0:01:41.840 --> 0:01:47.000 wherever you get your shows. Hello everyone, my name is 0:01:47.080 --> 0:01:49.680 Jordan run Todd. But enough about me. Well, what can 0:01:49.680 --> 0:01:52.120 I say about my guest today? She's a bona fide 0:01:52.120 --> 0:01:55.680 pop goddess. She started out writing hits for Selena Gomez, 0:01:55.800 --> 0:01:59.160 Nick Jonas and the Eminem Rihanna duet Monster. Then she 0:01:59.160 --> 0:02:01.040 stepped into the spot light on her own with hits 0:02:01.080 --> 0:02:02.840 like Me, Myself and I and In the Name of 0:02:02.880 --> 0:02:06.120 Love Meant to Be. Her collaboration with Florida Georgia Line 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:09.360 was recently certified diamonds, and now she's dropping a new single, 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:12.440 Baby I'm Jealous featuring Doja cat as a track of 0:02:12.520 --> 0:02:15.359 her upcoming second album. It was ready for release earlier 0:02:15.400 --> 0:02:17.520 this year, but she's waiting to use her words until 0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:19.919 the world is a better place, and she's certainly doing 0:02:19.919 --> 0:02:23.520 her part. She's a beacon for body positivity, an outspoken 0:02:23.560 --> 0:02:25.720 advocate for mental health, and I can't be happier that 0:02:25.720 --> 0:02:28.200 she's here with us right now. Babe Rexa, thank you 0:02:28.280 --> 0:02:30.640 so much for taking the time today. Thank you, Jordan's 0:02:31.360 --> 0:02:33.280 It's so funny doing these shows over zoom because it 0:02:33.280 --> 0:02:35.520 always feels like we're just like dropping into people's homes. 0:02:35.520 --> 0:02:36.799 How far are you today? What have you been on? 0:02:37.120 --> 0:02:42.360 M nothing. I woke up, I walked my dog. She 0:02:42.440 --> 0:02:46.360 comes with me for my coffee. How's Bear doing? She's 0:02:46.440 --> 0:02:50.720 going coffee together today? And then I worked out. I 0:02:50.720 --> 0:02:52.760 did a little work out, and I just had some lunch. 0:02:52.800 --> 0:02:54.360 And then after this, I'm going to go buy some 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:57.440 plunkin candles. I want to make my house. I just 0:02:57.480 --> 0:02:59.520 went on Amazon the other day and I bought so 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:04.160 much Halloween decorations. It's not Oh my god, big Halloween. 0:03:04.160 --> 0:03:07.000 What's what's your favorite Halloween costume you've ever dressed up as? 0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:10.320 I think I was literally Superman one year when I 0:03:10.360 --> 0:03:16.320 was like, no, bear, don't bark. Sorry, she might bark throughout. 0:03:16.400 --> 0:03:19.160 She's kind of like spoiled my dog, so she may 0:03:19.240 --> 0:03:22.680 bark throughout the interview. But my favorite Halloween costume ever 0:03:22.760 --> 0:03:26.000 been is super Man, not Superwoman. It's so funny. I 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:27.920 think my mom has a picture of it or was 0:03:27.960 --> 0:03:30.679 it Superwoman? I don't know was that? And I never 0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:32.840 really had another like I never had like an incredible 0:03:32.840 --> 0:03:35.320 Halloween costume. I'm always kind of I love decorating the 0:03:35.360 --> 0:03:38.000 house more than anything and like giving away candy. But 0:03:38.040 --> 0:03:40.160 I'm never good at like I don't. I just don't 0:03:40.200 --> 0:03:42.640 have patience for it to like get ready for three 0:03:42.680 --> 0:03:45.480 hours of face makeup and stuff. I mean, yeah, I 0:03:45.480 --> 0:03:48.480 feel like supposally when when your day job is getting 0:03:48.480 --> 0:03:50.480 out there and dressing up and everything and perform, I 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:52.640 can imagine like doing that on your own time. It's like, no, 0:03:52.800 --> 0:03:55.280 I really don't feel right now like yeah, I'm gonna 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:57.880 go I'm going to be the natural me today. Yeah, 0:03:57.920 --> 0:04:00.400 I just don't. I don't like sitting in hair makeup 0:04:00.440 --> 0:04:02.440 for like three hours. I hate it. But I like 0:04:02.520 --> 0:04:05.080 getting I like feeling I like feeling pretty though and 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:07.080 getting ready. You know that's why I go for the 0:04:07.120 --> 0:04:10.160 Haulding costumes, like a mask or something like that, or 0:04:10.160 --> 0:04:13.119 something you could just throw on. I have so many 0:04:13.120 --> 0:04:14.600 things we're so excited to talk to you about today. 0:04:14.640 --> 0:04:16.919 First and foremost, your new song baby I'm Jealous. I 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:18.719 love it. I've been humming it all day. It's about 0:04:18.720 --> 0:04:21.839 those times when jealousy turns you into a social media sleuth, 0:04:21.960 --> 0:04:24.200 which you know, when you're creeping on your partner's Instagram 0:04:24.279 --> 0:04:26.120 likes and we've all been there. Tell me about where 0:04:26.120 --> 0:04:30.960 that song cames. Was dating someone and a guy and 0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:35.760 I saw I got onto one of those crazy weird 0:04:36.200 --> 0:04:39.680 like the deep dive, which I'm like usually okay, but 0:04:40.000 --> 0:04:41.200 you know, I had one of those days where you 0:04:41.200 --> 0:04:43.680 feel a little insecure or whatever, you know, just like 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:46.960 I don't know, like human, right, So I went on 0:04:47.000 --> 0:04:49.560 the Instagram and I SI like this same girl comment 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:52.440 like leave heart's like you know, like kissy faces and 0:04:52.520 --> 0:04:55.200 like it was just on every picture, and I was like, hmmm, 0:04:55.640 --> 0:04:57.560 So I like went on her page. I was just 0:04:57.560 --> 0:04:59.360 looking at her pictures and I see that the guy 0:04:59.360 --> 0:05:01.800 that I was dating was like liking everyone of her pictures, 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:03.400 but it was the ones that where she was like 0:05:03.440 --> 0:05:05.640 half naked in her like bikini photos that I was 0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:07.479 kind of like, that's kind of like I don't know 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:09.839 if everybody has their own like boundaries and rules for 0:05:10.000 --> 0:05:12.880 Instagram and social media. But I didn't like that. So 0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:14.720 I literally told him. I was like, if it's your 0:05:14.760 --> 0:05:16.520 friends or something like that, totally fine. But like when 0:05:16.520 --> 0:05:18.440 they're like not really dressed, it makes me feel a 0:05:18.440 --> 0:05:20.880 little uncomfortable, and like, especially if they're leaving comments on 0:05:20.880 --> 0:05:23.000 your pages, it doesn't make me. I don't like it, 0:05:23.040 --> 0:05:24.560 Like this is the rule for me. These are the 0:05:24.680 --> 0:05:26.640 rules for me. And he was like yeah, and he 0:05:26.720 --> 0:05:29.320 was like okay, because then fast forward like two weeks later, 0:05:29.400 --> 0:05:31.880 he was still like liking her pictures and it still 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:33.599 bothered me, and I was like, now I feel like 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:35.400 insecure because I know that they kind of like I 0:05:35.440 --> 0:05:37.160 could just tell they liked each other. But he ended 0:05:37.240 --> 0:05:40.560 up liking these three girls pictures and they kind of 0:05:40.600 --> 0:05:42.960 like always going back and forth. It was so obvious, 0:05:43.360 --> 0:05:46.120 but they all look the same. They were all blonde hair, 0:05:46.360 --> 0:05:50.920 blue eyes, like super fit, super tall, like model esque. 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:55.240 And I'm like five foot five, dark brown eyes and 0:05:55.839 --> 0:05:57.920 not that you know what I mean. So I got 0:05:57.960 --> 0:06:00.479 kind of a little insecure, and I was like, oh socks, 0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:02.880 like this sucks. I'm like I wish I looked like that. 0:06:03.240 --> 0:06:05.000 Is there something wrong with me? I don't know, Maybe 0:06:05.000 --> 0:06:06.920 I should buy blue contacts. And then I was like, wait, 0:06:06.960 --> 0:06:08.960 I'm like going crazy. So I went to the studio 0:06:09.000 --> 0:06:11.159 and I wrote the song like justin transwer and I 0:06:11.160 --> 0:06:13.400 was like, I'm just so jealous lately, like I wish 0:06:13.400 --> 0:06:15.719 I could look this certain way, you know, And then 0:06:16.040 --> 0:06:19.720 it's it's a song about being jealous. And what we 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:21.480 want to do with the album is like it kind 0:06:21.480 --> 0:06:22.880 of inspired us. We're like, oh my god, we should 0:06:22.920 --> 0:06:25.440 totally write an album on like insecurities because it's like 0:06:25.480 --> 0:06:28.400 totally normal, Like I don't so many people. I've been 0:06:28.440 --> 0:06:30.560 on a vacation with the couple literally broke up but 0:06:30.600 --> 0:06:32.599 then got back together the next day because they found 0:06:32.640 --> 0:06:36.400 some shady stuff on Instagram and social media, and I 0:06:36.440 --> 0:06:38.760 was like, whoa. That was like, so I see every 0:06:38.800 --> 0:06:40.839 couple always dealing with this or I have. I even 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:43.000 know a lot of couples who share Instagrams, which is 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:47.240 like some next level something, but whoa, yeah, the password sharing, 0:06:47.279 --> 0:06:49.320 I'm not at that place yet. And I've been with 0:06:49.320 --> 0:06:52.680 my girlfriend for tenure. I think it's a trust thing, right, 0:06:52.680 --> 0:06:56.520 It's like building trust. Yeah, no, no, but you can't 0:06:56.560 --> 0:06:58.280 share your pass coald. If you're not sharing your pass coal, 0:06:58.320 --> 0:07:01.320 then what are you hiding nothing? I don't know. I 0:07:01.360 --> 0:07:03.880 think it's never been a discussion with us, I should say. 0:07:04.000 --> 0:07:07.320 But that's good. Also, like I think we're together for 0:07:07.360 --> 0:07:09.680 so long before Instagram and everything that maybe that was 0:07:09.720 --> 0:07:12.600 part of It's weird. It's like another level of like hard, 0:07:12.720 --> 0:07:15.480 you know, like I noticed it, especially like my younger 0:07:15.720 --> 0:07:17.320 like just like people like I was just you know, 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:19.760 my band members, like just hearing the conversations that they have, 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:22.280 like being on tour with everybody. It creates like a 0:07:22.280 --> 0:07:25.960 lot of issues in relationships. Social media does because everything 0:07:26.000 --> 0:07:28.720 is so much more accessible where it's like you could 0:07:28.760 --> 0:07:32.160 literally slide into d m s you know, right, you know. 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:34.440 I mean, it's just it's so interesting to hear here 0:07:34.760 --> 0:07:37.040 you talk to me about insecurities because from an Ampie's 0:07:37.080 --> 0:07:40.559 side perspective, you're talented and successful with millions of fans. 0:07:40.680 --> 0:07:43.040 I mean, do you think, let me put it this way, 0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:45.480 do you think self acceptance is a journey or a destination. 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:48.360 It's just something you're always working towards. Obviously you know that. 0:07:48.440 --> 0:07:50.600 I think I feel like, come on, that's the answer 0:07:50.600 --> 0:07:53.520 to that is it's a journey, like you'll never you know, 0:07:53.560 --> 0:07:55.360 I think maybe at a certain age or just so 0:07:55.440 --> 0:07:57.400 tired of caring anymore and you're like I'm over this, 0:07:57.520 --> 0:08:00.440 like you know, maybe when I'm like seventy years something. 0:08:00.520 --> 0:08:03.160 But I think it's a journey. And I think that 0:08:03.520 --> 0:08:05.840 I've learned too, which has made me more secure of 0:08:05.880 --> 0:08:09.080 myself more than ever now, is to like accept those 0:08:09.120 --> 0:08:11.720 insecurities or anything that makes me kind of feel because 0:08:11.760 --> 0:08:13.360 I kind of like I didn't like how I was 0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:15.680 feeling jealous, Like I wasn't liking it. I was kind 0:08:15.680 --> 0:08:17.560 of like why am I getting jealous of these girls? 0:08:17.600 --> 0:08:19.360 Like why am I so insecure? And I think it 0:08:19.360 --> 0:08:21.680 comes from a place of not like like loving yourself 0:08:21.760 --> 0:08:23.520 or knowing your worth. And I think when you start 0:08:23.600 --> 0:08:25.800 really being honest yourself and be like there's a reason 0:08:25.880 --> 0:08:27.680 why I'm jealous, Like you know, whatever you want to 0:08:27.720 --> 0:08:30.120 call it God or an energy, that there's a reason 0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:32.440 why human beings feel jealousy, Like we're meant to feel 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:34.760 it for it's just part of us. You know what 0:08:34.840 --> 0:08:37.880 I mean. There was a line in the song that 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:39.640 I kept thinking About'm thinking about it all day. It 0:08:39.679 --> 0:08:42.719 really stuck with me. This is me a woman in dichotomy. 0:08:42.800 --> 0:08:45.040 I love me until I don't talk to me about 0:08:45.080 --> 0:08:48.880 the dichotomy that is, I think that, you know, it's funny, 0:08:48.920 --> 0:08:51.040 like I feel like my life is like a dichotomy, right, 0:08:51.040 --> 0:08:53.679 like two things that are opposing each other. So like 0:08:53.720 --> 0:08:57.400 I come from like a very old school Albanian traditional 0:08:57.440 --> 0:09:00.520 family who like they wanted me to fine an all 0:09:00.559 --> 0:09:02.840 banion guy and probably get married by the time I 0:09:02.880 --> 0:09:05.760 was twenty and have kids like super early, you know, 0:09:05.800 --> 0:09:08.040 like my mom was sixteen when she got married, and 0:09:08.120 --> 0:09:10.520 it's just like the culture, right, But here I go, 0:09:10.640 --> 0:09:12.679 it's like the total opposite of that. What did I do? 0:09:12.960 --> 0:09:15.559 Like I was from New York and you know, should 0:09:15.559 --> 0:09:17.360 have gotten married. I had kids by the age was twenty, 0:09:17.480 --> 0:09:20.240 But then I left for the opposite side of New York, 0:09:20.240 --> 0:09:23.000 went to the West Coast to l A and went 0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:25.960 to do to try to be in pop music, which 0:09:26.040 --> 0:09:28.880 was like whoa, Like how could you do that? And 0:09:28.920 --> 0:09:31.720 then I think just dichotomy in the sense of women 0:09:31.720 --> 0:09:34.559 in general, we have to like be very like pure 0:09:34.640 --> 0:09:36.400 and virginal, but then we have to be like a 0:09:36.520 --> 0:09:38.960 freaking sheets And I feel like that's like for me 0:09:39.040 --> 0:09:41.840 as a woman in all just in all all cases, 0:09:41.880 --> 0:09:44.120 you know, you know, you love yourself one day, hate 0:09:44.120 --> 0:09:46.920 yourself the next. For women, we have a lot of dichotomy's, 0:09:46.960 --> 0:09:49.040 you know, like we have to be soft but you know, 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:51.000 but still be hard in the sense. And it's like 0:09:51.000 --> 0:09:53.120 it's just constant, like you know, we have to kind 0:09:53.160 --> 0:09:55.480 of always balance that as females. It's kind of hard, 0:09:55.520 --> 0:09:59.880 you know. There are just so many emotional, vulnerable tracks 0:09:59.880 --> 0:10:02.320 on this record. Was there a song that was for 0:10:02.360 --> 0:10:04.960 you the most difficult to tackle, were the most meaningful? 0:10:05.120 --> 0:10:09.960 I think that probably the hardest would be none of 0:10:10.000 --> 0:10:12.760 the songs are really hard for me, because I feel 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:15.319 like I became so I know, there's probably supposed to 0:10:15.320 --> 0:10:16.720 be an answer for a song. But I became so 0:10:16.800 --> 0:10:19.960 comfortable with Justin the room that I asked him to 0:10:19.960 --> 0:10:22.520 help executive produce the album because I just felt like 0:10:22.600 --> 0:10:25.160 I could walk in there and be like Justin, I'm 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:27.000 about to get my period and like I'm just losing 0:10:27.040 --> 0:10:29.400 my mind, and like I could just say anything to him, 0:10:29.480 --> 0:10:31.880 you know, like I could just anything like the most 0:10:32.160 --> 0:10:33.840 insane thing, and I would just say, this is how 0:10:33.840 --> 0:10:35.680 I'm feeling, and he's like, let's put it in a song. 0:10:36.080 --> 0:10:39.000 And I feel like the process was super therapeutic and 0:10:39.040 --> 0:10:41.320 nothing was hard everything, and I feel like I've already 0:10:41.320 --> 0:10:44.680 I had already gone through those like moments and then 0:10:44.760 --> 0:10:46.920 I was just kind of expressing to him how I 0:10:46.960 --> 0:10:49.839 was feeling and he was able to make it so 0:10:49.880 --> 0:10:52.120 seamless and to a song. They were like really like 0:10:52.240 --> 0:10:54.640 just journals or like things that I was really going through, 0:10:55.000 --> 0:10:57.080 and he makes it so easy to like put it 0:10:57.120 --> 0:11:00.240 into words and music. You know, well, was there song 0:11:00.320 --> 0:11:02.160 from the album that represents you most in this moment? 0:11:02.200 --> 0:11:03.600 I have to look at my track list. There's like 0:11:03.679 --> 0:11:08.360 so many songs I like better mistakes because with better mistakes, 0:11:08.400 --> 0:11:10.880 I think it's funny because in life, like we all 0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:12.440 make mistakes. But I feel like, you know, as you 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:14.360 get older, like, oh, I'll be fine when you know, 0:11:14.360 --> 0:11:16.000 when I get to a certain age, I'll figure it out. 0:11:16.080 --> 0:11:17.600 But it's like as you get older, like oh I 0:11:17.679 --> 0:11:19.640 have I'm still trying to figure out, like how do 0:11:19.720 --> 0:11:22.560 I do this? You know what I mean? Like I 0:11:22.600 --> 0:11:25.600 just feel like I'm making mistakes, but better ones. That's 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:27.319 like where I'm at in my list. Yeah, ess actially 0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:29.520 I'm in my in my life like I'm you know, 0:11:29.559 --> 0:11:32.080 so better mistakes is interesting. It's like very playful, but 0:11:32.400 --> 0:11:35.640 like a meaningwise, it's like I'm just making better mistakes 0:11:35.880 --> 0:11:39.240 as I get older. You said you're holding the album 0:11:39.320 --> 0:11:41.400 until the world's a better place. Was I think the 0:11:41.880 --> 0:11:44.760 quote you shared any updates on when that is? I 0:11:45.440 --> 0:11:47.760 know when that is, but I don't know if like 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:49.520 I'm ready to say when that is or if I'm 0:11:49.520 --> 0:11:51.520 allowed to yet. I think it's like just a bit 0:11:51.679 --> 0:11:54.520 like maybe we're like I'm a couple, Like it's a 0:11:54.520 --> 0:11:58.960 little too early to say. I feel guided to say sorry. 0:11:59.000 --> 0:12:00.600 Everything is so like you know, I don't want to 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:02.760 say either because if I say something and then God forbid, 0:12:02.800 --> 0:12:05.640 it changes my fans get really upset and I feel 0:12:05.679 --> 0:12:07.160 like it's been a very long It's been two and 0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:09.520 a half years since I released like a project, so 0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:12.200 it's been really long or like over years since I've 0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:14.840 released a song, and with everything going on in the world, 0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:16.840 I don't want to say like, because you just never know, 0:12:16.960 --> 0:12:19.480 God forbid everything goes smoothly and everything is okay, and 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:24.120 every reason everything gets better. But it's hard because everything 0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:27.680 has changed. You know, interviews are different. Look, we're doing 0:12:27.679 --> 0:12:30.760 this and I know we're seeing each other's faces, but 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:33.760 we would have probably have done this in person. It's 0:12:33.760 --> 0:12:35.880 just so much different, Like you're not feeling people's energies 0:12:35.920 --> 0:12:38.720 as much, and it's hard, like when you can't, you know, 0:12:38.800 --> 0:12:41.480 go on the road and stop at the radio stations 0:12:41.600 --> 0:12:44.400 and and talk to people and and you know, eat 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:47.240 like barbecue food and Texas or whatever. Just you know 0:12:48.960 --> 0:13:03.280 those energies and do it the proper way. There's one 0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:05.839 song I'm really looking forward to hearing, looking forward for 0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:08.880 your fans to hearing to break my Heart myself. You 0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:12.480 shared some some lyrics from that where you are very 0:13:12.520 --> 0:13:15.480 open about your bipolo di sort of referencing the five 0:13:15.520 --> 0:13:19.360 point seven million Americans who are also living with bipolar disorder. 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:22.000 You first shared your diagnosis last year on Twitter. What 0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:24.240 made you decide that it was time to open up 0:13:24.280 --> 0:13:27.559 about that party? I always felt scared all my life. 0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:30.679 I felt I feel like I always felt even when 0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:34.240 I was younger, I was always scared of like going crazy, 0:13:34.559 --> 0:13:36.080 Like I was just so scared I don't know. I 0:13:36.120 --> 0:13:37.720 was just I saw I think a movie or I 0:13:37.760 --> 0:13:40.160 had a family member or somebody they had literally like 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:44.600 gone crazy, like mentally unstable, like unwell like, and that 0:13:44.760 --> 0:13:46.360 just scared me. I don't know why. I was just 0:13:46.400 --> 0:13:48.440 always so scared of it. I just wanted to be normal, 0:13:48.480 --> 0:13:50.040 and I was just so I don't know. It was 0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:52.560 just like a weird fear that I had. And you know, 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:54.880 I had gone into the studio with Justin. I said, 0:13:55.440 --> 0:13:57.440 I just spoke to my doctor and they told me 0:13:57.679 --> 0:14:00.480 that I'm bipolar. And I said, I just, you know, 0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:02.600 because it takes a second to kind of like figure out, 0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:04.560 like it takes years to kind of you know, first 0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:06.960 things anxiety and depression and you don't know, and then 0:14:07.000 --> 0:14:09.480 you get manic or and the depressed, and so it 0:14:09.520 --> 0:14:11.679 takes a second. But I went to see it Justin 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:13.920 and I said, I just I'm so scared of going crazy. 0:14:13.920 --> 0:14:15.560 And I don't want people to think that I'm crazy 0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:18.480 or like judge me, or like feel like I could 0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:20.360 have done more in my life because a lot of 0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:23.360 times I feel like, uh, in the industry or in 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:26.160 life in general, people can really judge you. You know, 0:14:26.240 --> 0:14:28.720 she's crazy. And especially as a female, you know, they 0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:31.720 could forget also like that you're human in this industry 0:14:31.760 --> 0:14:33.560 and they could kind of treat you like a product. 0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:36.800 So I just didn't want to ever feel like I 0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:40.080 messed anything up because of my mental illness. And I 0:14:40.120 --> 0:14:42.600 always feel like that was always something that was so hard. 0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:45.480 It always kind of felt like two um like I 0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:48.080 had two weights, like you know, two dumbbells, like heavy 0:14:48.160 --> 0:14:50.200 dumbbells on my shoulders at all times. So it's like 0:14:50.200 --> 0:14:52.200 when you do something, you know, you're getting ready to 0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:55.000 go on stage, and then something happens or the panic attack, 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:57.160 and it just it just throws everything off or your 0:14:57.160 --> 0:14:59.000 depressed and you don't want to get out of the house, 0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:01.440 but you off to it's like your job, and like 0:15:01.520 --> 0:15:04.160 people don't care in the day, like everybody goes through this, right, 0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:06.320 So I feel like for me, I wanted just to 0:15:06.320 --> 0:15:08.600 write a song about that and just be open up, 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:10.840 that honest about it and and just as I said, 0:15:11.440 --> 0:15:13.880 what the album is like, except my insecurity and be 0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:16.560 like I'm scared, here's another insecurity, Like not only am 0:15:16.560 --> 0:15:19.920 I jealous, but I'm scared of going crazy, And let 0:15:19.920 --> 0:15:21.760 me write a song about it. And you know, we 0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:23.440 kind of did a twist on it where it's like 0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:25.800 it's not about love, it's about like life in general, 0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:27.960 Like nobody could ever break my heart as much as 0:15:27.960 --> 0:15:30.040 I've broken my own heart in the in the past, 0:15:30.080 --> 0:15:32.680 and the way that my mental illness has and the 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:36.080 nights and months and years I've spent stuck in my house, 0:15:36.120 --> 0:15:38.600 scared to leave the house because I was so scared 0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:42.320 of everything. So um, it's it's very empowering in the 0:15:42.320 --> 0:15:44.200 sense of I was able to like, this is just 0:15:44.240 --> 0:15:46.000 who I am and this is a part of me, 0:15:46.040 --> 0:15:49.520 and I'm not scared of it anymore. And yeah, thank 0:15:49.520 --> 0:15:51.160 you for going there with me, and thank you for 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:52.760 going there with all of your fans. So I know 0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:55.640 you've been very open about this, going back to you 0:15:55.680 --> 0:15:57.840 know for years with I'm Gonna Show You Crazy, I 0:15:57.840 --> 0:16:00.640 mean that was from I didn't know about I'm going 0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:03.000 to Show You Crazy and didn't the label fight you 0:16:03.000 --> 0:16:09.080 want that too? Sorry, this is a fan. This is 0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:12.520 me the fan coming out. No, it's okay. You know 0:16:12.520 --> 0:16:14.240 what it was. It was just like I think when 0:16:14.240 --> 0:16:15.600 I'm going to Show You Crazy came out, it was 0:16:15.640 --> 0:16:17.280 crazy because you think about it, that was like five 0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:19.840 years before or like six years before, like Logic came 0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:22.400 out with the one Dred, So that was not okay 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:24.680 to say that, Like, it was not okay to say like, 0:16:24.760 --> 0:16:26.720 there's a war inside my head. Sometimes I wish that 0:16:26.760 --> 0:16:28.840 I was dead. I'm broken, and I'm going to show 0:16:28.840 --> 0:16:31.440 you crazy. You want to see local maniac, I'll show you. 0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:32.840 And it was like a kind of like an anthem 0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:34.760 to myself. People thought it was about love, but I 0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:38.040 was writing this anthem about mental illness. And I had 0:16:38.080 --> 0:16:41.280 put it out on Christmas Eve and it was Spotify 0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:43.520 was a new thing because I had gone to Sweden 0:16:43.680 --> 0:16:45.680 for a writing trip with my brother for two weeks 0:16:45.680 --> 0:16:47.320 and I had met this young, i mean this older 0:16:47.320 --> 0:16:50.200 couple excuse me, and they were like, what are you 0:16:50.280 --> 0:16:52.400 two doing here? And I was like, oh, I'm a singer, 0:16:52.440 --> 0:16:54.960 I'm a musician. She's like, oh, what's your Spotify page? 0:16:55.000 --> 0:16:58.040 And it was like, what's that? Because we didn't even 0:16:58.040 --> 0:16:59.840 have nobody really had it here, nobody knew what it 0:16:59.920 --> 0:17:02.160 was us. And I had gone home to my manager 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:04.840 I said, I want to open a Spotify and he's like, 0:17:05.440 --> 0:17:07.600 a Spotify you mean, he's like an account and I'm 0:17:07.640 --> 0:17:09.640 like yes. So the first song we put on Spotify 0:17:09.720 --> 0:17:11.800 was I'm going to Show You Crazy, and we had 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:14.199 literally put it out. I had no push, nobody believed 0:17:14.200 --> 0:17:16.359 in it. And it's still accumulated, like I don't know, 0:17:16.440 --> 0:17:19.960 forty million streams like with nothing, no push, nothing like, 0:17:20.440 --> 0:17:23.240 and I think it really spoke to people. I can't 0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:24.920 tell you the amount because I did the Warp tour. 0:17:25.000 --> 0:17:27.359 I can't tell you the amount of young girls, but 0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:30.360 young girls and their moms or like guys and their 0:17:30.560 --> 0:17:33.040 dads are like so many mothers have like cried on 0:17:33.080 --> 0:17:35.600 my shoulder being like thank you so much, like this 0:17:35.640 --> 0:17:37.600 song has also helped me. I don't know. I guess 0:17:37.600 --> 0:17:41.000 it was. It's hard to deal with teenagers, you know, 0:17:41.119 --> 0:17:43.320 but like it was, it was very It was very 0:17:43.320 --> 0:17:45.280 touching to me those times because I was going through 0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:47.240 tough times too, and I felt like it was very 0:17:47.280 --> 0:17:49.760 therapeutic for me because I didn't understand yet what I 0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:51.720 was going through. I just knew I didn't feel good. 0:17:52.080 --> 0:17:54.000 I wasn't I didn't have I wasn't receiving the help 0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:56.320 at that time, Like I was talking to a therapist 0:17:56.359 --> 0:17:58.679 and but I wasn't on medication. None of that like 0:17:58.720 --> 0:18:01.120