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Speaker 1: The Fred Show is on. It's stay or go. John

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Speaker 1: is here. Let's talk to John. Hi John morning, Hey,

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Speaker 1: Good morning John. We got your scenario, your situation. We

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Speaker 1: have it here. You can hit us up any anytime,

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Speaker 1: all over the place. Fredchowradio dot com, Fredshie Radio on

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Speaker 1: Instagram and the DMS or whatever. So what's going on

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Speaker 1: with you? And we're gonna hear you out and then

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Speaker 1: we're gonna talk about you behind your back?

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Speaker 2: Go ahead, please, Okay, Well, thanks for taking my call.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm just being paranoid about this,

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Speaker 2: but my girlfriend has a friend that she's really really

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Speaker 2: close with, like you know, like really almost as close

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Speaker 2: as we open, but maybe in some ways closer than

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Speaker 2: the two of us are. And you know, my girlfriend straight,

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Speaker 2: she's never had any kind of history of of, you know,

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Speaker 2: a same sex relationship, or at least she's never told.

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Speaker 1: Me we're John all the way like that close, like

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Speaker 1: we're going all the way there. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, I mean that's why I think it's a

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Speaker 2: little bizarre. But I'm wondering if their relationship is a

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Speaker 2: normal friendship between two women, or if it's like something

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Speaker 2: more than that. I don't know, they Yeah, they hang

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Speaker 2: out all the time. Like if she's not with me,

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Speaker 2: she's with her, and they have sleepovers. They're very affectionate

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Speaker 2: and like she sent me you know, vio FaceTime her

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Speaker 2: when they're having their sleepovers and they're like, they're not

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Speaker 2: and she's not in a guest room. They're in the

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Speaker 2: same bed. And sometimes they you know, the kiss to

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Speaker 2: say hi and by not on the cheek, on the

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Speaker 2: lips and if they're.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, all right, what else?

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Speaker 1: What other evidence do you have here? We need the

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Speaker 1: whole story.

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Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, yeah, Well, if they're hanging out, they'll

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Speaker 2: sort of kind of cuddle or pickle each other's backs.

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Speaker 2: It's like really cute little qut stuff. Yeah, they play

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Speaker 2: with each other. Hey, I've seen that we've been together

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Speaker 2: before and watching a movie and show be you know,

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Speaker 2: playing with her hair. They don't even they don't go

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Speaker 2: to the bathroom without each other.

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Speaker 1: They're doing well that that's not uncommon. The bathroom thing

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Speaker 1: is I don't understand that. I mean, I understand the

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Speaker 1: social aspect of it, but like I don't I'm not

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Speaker 1: like Rufie, let's go to the bathroom pe next to

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Speaker 1: each other, like you're already you're already in the bathroom. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he always falls me in. It's weird.

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Speaker 2: This isn't a this isn't a public restaurant talking about

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Speaker 2: let me clarify that.

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Speaker 1: Oh wait a minute, and yeah.

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Speaker 2: Like, yeah, that's what I mean.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, is you're upset that you're not being included? Is

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Speaker 1: that right?

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Speaker 4: I think you Sidi homie, I've got a girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: Yes, Do you actually, like, does your gut tell you

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Speaker 1: that there's a physical dynamic between the two of them?

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Speaker 2: Sometimes yes and other times no? And I would say

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Speaker 2: sixty percent of the time no, but than forty percent

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Speaker 2: of time.

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Speaker 1: Yet, would you consider that cheating if there were, if

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Speaker 1: those two were getting.

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Speaker 2: It on, I don't know, that's I mean, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I think so, because if it's not, if it was

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Speaker 2: something that was communicated to me and I was like

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Speaker 2: on the word, then yeah, of course. But if it's

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Speaker 2: not like something that she's upfront with and it seems

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Speaker 2: like it's being kept from me, which if it's not one,

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Speaker 2: that's the other obvious, you know, it has to be.

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Speaker 1: If they if they were straightforward with you. Let's say

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Speaker 1: it is a physical relation. Let's say it's a romantic

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Speaker 1: relationship where dabbles in that regard. Would you allow her

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Speaker 1: to have that parallel to you? Would you allow her

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Speaker 1: to have that with you? I mean, what do you

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Speaker 1: do if you find out that this is in fact inappropriate.

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Speaker 2: I think that if if it were and I was

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Speaker 2: like allowed to be a part of it, I think

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Speaker 2: I'd be.

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Speaker 1: Right right. I don't know, I mean I do know.

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Speaker 5: Like sometimes like Fred will talk about how like male

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Speaker 5: female like traditional friendships. I guess you know, if this

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Speaker 5: doesn't include you, please don't at me, but like are

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Speaker 5: pretty different, Like you will be like, oh, you know,

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Speaker 5: you sleep in the same bed as your girlfriend sometimes,

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Speaker 5: Like I would never do that, or go into the

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Speaker 5: bathroom like you and I never do that, or like

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Speaker 5: getting ready in the same room while someone's like showering.

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Speaker 5: Guys would probably not do that. But if there's a

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Speaker 5: ton of girls getting ready, it's not that odd.

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Speaker 1: So I have to But if it feels like this

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Speaker 1: is targeted towards one particular person, I mean, I guess

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Speaker 1: if she was this way with a bunch of people,

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Speaker 1: maybe you know, but like I mean, you're talking about

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Speaker 1: sleepovers in the same in bed with one woman. You're

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Speaker 1: talking about kissing on the lips with one woman. You're

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Speaker 1: talking about, you know, the old tickle trick. It is

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Speaker 1: your friend?

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Speaker 6: Is she straight?

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Speaker 1: You're the friend the girl the other girl?

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Speaker 7: Uh I know?

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Speaker 4: Okay, huh So maybe they're maybe just you're just missing

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Speaker 4: the signs man.

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Speaker 1: Maybe they're trying to invite you an you're just not

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Speaker 1: jumping on.

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Speaker 5: My friends breathed my hair, I braided Paulina's here the

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Speaker 5: other day. That would be playing.

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Speaker 1: With her hair.

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Speaker 6: That was.

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Speaker 1: Lobby right, there was not only fans. Yes, wow, Okay,

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Speaker 1: so your gut tells you maybe, but you want transparency

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Speaker 1: and you want communication. But it's also very well possible

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Speaker 1: that this is just a close friendship and it has

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Speaker 1: nothing to do with with sex at all. But okay,

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Speaker 1: would the friend does the friendship itself threaten you? No?

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Speaker 2: No, because we have a great relationship, But if if

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Speaker 2: they were, if there was something that was lacking in

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Speaker 2: a relationship that she was looking for somewhere else. And

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Speaker 2: also she's been like this like with her from what

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Speaker 2: she tells me, like her entire life.

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Speaker 1: So have you asked her about this? Have you said, hey, look,

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Speaker 1: you know, you guys seem awfully close like, is there

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Speaker 1: anything more going on there? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, calling a radio station is not my first option.

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Speaker 1: Oh it's not not. I mean we're not licensed at all.

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Speaker 1: Now I am offended. So what does she say? You're crazy?

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Speaker 1: You know, that's silly. We're just we're just friends.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she just kind of like laughed it off. She

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Speaker 2: didn't call me crazy or anything, but she just like

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Speaker 2: last it off and you're being silly, and you know.

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Speaker 1: Huh, okay, all right, let me take some phone calls

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Speaker 1: on this. Eight five five five three five. Maybe there's

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Speaker 1: nothing to this man. Maybe it's maybe they're just they're

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Speaker 1: just close, right, I mean, if she wanted to be

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Speaker 1: with her, she'd probably be with her. I feel like,

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Speaker 1: you know, if they were like getting it on, getting

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Speaker 1: it on. Maybe not.

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Speaker 4: And if it's not affecting your guys relationship, what's the issue?

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Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, Like, if you and your

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Speaker 4: girlfriend are perfectly fine whatever in the bedroom and everywhere else,

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Speaker 4: and I don't understand the issue.

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Speaker 1: If she has a really close girlfriend, yeah, I guess

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Speaker 1: you're spending a lot of time together. Would you be okay?

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Speaker 8: If Jess was having sleepovers at her age, yes, with

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Speaker 8: her female yes, I'm going to sleep at Kaylen's house.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's perfectly fine. Okay, okay, right, hey John, let

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Speaker 1: me take some calls. Have a good day, man, good luck,

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Speaker 1: and have the radio one. We're gonna talk about you

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Speaker 1: right now. Behind your back, you can't say okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: good thank you bye, have a good day. A text

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Speaker 1: eight five five five three five. These girls have serious

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Speaker 1: codependency issues, whether they went through a trauma together or

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Speaker 1: neither of them have been in a serious relationship before,

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Speaker 1: so they'd never had someone come before their friendship. I

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Speaker 1: suppose that could be true.

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Speaker 5: I have some friendships like that, Like we're codependent on

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Speaker 5: each other for sure.

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Speaker 1: And I guess if you if you're relying on your

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Speaker 1: friend for a lot of the things that you should

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Speaker 1: be relying on your boyfriend for, then that's the problem.

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Speaker 1: I mean, if she, if she, you know, confides in

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's almost the non sexual stuff that would

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Speaker 1: worry me more, like do you confide in her when

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Speaker 1: you should be confiding in me? Do you do you

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Speaker 1: go to her when you're you know, sad or feeling

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Speaker 1: a certain kind of way for comfort when you should

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Speaker 1: come to me, you know what I mean? Like that

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Speaker 1: that would worry me more. I think I agree with that.

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Speaker 1: Then just some kind of weird physical relationship. Hey Lauren, Hello,

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Speaker 1: And I call it weird because it would be weird

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Speaker 1: if you have a boyfriend and then you and then

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Speaker 1: you have this sort of secret other physical thing.

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Speaker 7: Well what do you think, Lauren, I mean I think

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Speaker 7: that she should say. I think that's fine. I have

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Speaker 7: but a similar situation, except my best friend is a

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Speaker 7: gay man actually, and we I mean we've been friends

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Speaker 7: for more time than we've not been friends, and it's.

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Speaker 6: Very much.

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Speaker 7: It's just a romantic friendship.

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Speaker 1: Like there's nothing.

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Speaker 9: Sexual about it.

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Speaker 1: It's just a romantic friendship. You mean, it's just a

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Speaker 1: platonic friendship.

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Speaker 7: I mean, it's platonic, but it has an element of.

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Speaker 1: Romance being romantic. Okay, so you would ask you would

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Speaker 1: be great if he liked what you have basically.

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Speaker 9: I mean, I don't.

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Speaker 7: I don't even know if that would necessarily change things

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Speaker 7: between the two of us. We just have a.

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Speaker 8: Great affection for each other, love for each other.

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Speaker 1: And I'm sorry if you mentioned this, but you have

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Speaker 1: a boyfriend, I mean, could you have a relationship concurrent?

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Speaker 1: I do, Yes, Is he threatened by this at all. No,

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Speaker 1: because it sounds like you would choose to be with

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Speaker 1: your friend.

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Speaker 7: I would not choose to be I mean I would not.

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Speaker 7: You're not it's not we're not compatible in that way.

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Speaker 6: But it's gotten.

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Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. If I didd a woman and

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Speaker 1: she said she had a romantic relationship with another man,

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Speaker 1: that would I would. You're supposed to have a romantic

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Speaker 1: relationship with me, and that's I mean, I would think

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Speaker 1: that it's exclusive unless it's unless it's not.

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Speaker 5: Do you just mean like affectionate, because that's probably a

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Speaker 5: better word than romantic.

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Speaker 7: I mean it is.

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Speaker 9: We do have great affection for each Yeah.

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Speaker 8: Absolutely, we do everything together. We've got I mean, we've

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Speaker 8: gone to the bathroom together, We've slept in the same

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Speaker 8: bed with each other.

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Speaker 9: It's not.

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Speaker 1: What a bet on they went to the bathroom, bathroom

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Speaker 1: in the back room.

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Speaker 7: Okay, I got it to the bathroom.

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Speaker 5: I have gay friends like that too.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. All right, Well, hey, look if it works for you,

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Speaker 1: if if this friendship can can work concurrently with the

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Speaker 1: relationship you're in, and if he's not feeling jealous about it,

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Speaker 1: then I guess there are boundaries and I suppose it's okay.

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Speaker 7: I'm just saying there doesn't necessarily have to be a sexual.

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Speaker 1: Aspect to it. Yeah, but that's a friendship. But but

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Speaker 1: that's that's interesting because just because you don't have sex,

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Speaker 1: to my point earlier, doesn't mean this isn't threatening. Doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean that I shouldn't be concerned about, you know, emotional

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Speaker 1: boundaries just because you're not, I mean, because you could

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Speaker 1: you could just be having sex with someone and and

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Speaker 1: that could be considered cheating depending on your definition and

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Speaker 1: and and and the terms of your relationship. But but

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Speaker 1: have a very sound, communicative, you know, emotional relationship with me.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes people I think think about cheating only as it

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Speaker 1: pertains to physical interaction. But if you if you connect

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Speaker 1: with another human better than you connect with me, that's

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Speaker 1: going to eventually get in the way of what we're

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Speaker 1: trying to do. No, it's not better. I think it's

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Speaker 1: just different.

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Speaker 5: Like I go to like Jonathan and Jason a lot,

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Speaker 5: and they're they're males, obviously, right, but like there's nothing,

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Speaker 5: absolutely nothing sexual about it and will not allow right.

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Speaker 1: Well, No, but what I'm saying is it sounds like

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Speaker 1: she relies on her friend or like like the connection

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Speaker 1: with her friend is stronger than the connection with her boyfriend,

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Speaker 1: and I guess that it's not. You're saying, I'm very

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Speaker 1: confused about the terms of this relationship. I think so.

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Speaker 7: I mean, I definitely have a very deep emotional connection

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Speaker 7: with my boyfriend and a.

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Speaker 8: Very romantic relationship with him too. It's not like I

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Speaker 8: rely on my best friends to that aspect of the relationship, just.

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Speaker 7: An addition to I have the other very close person than.

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Speaker 1: I have in my life. Okay, fair enough, Thank you, Lauren,

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Speaker 1: have a good day.

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Speaker 3: Thank you you too.

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Speaker 1: I don't know that you can unless you're in an

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Speaker 1: open relationship. I'm not sure that I would be comfortable

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Speaker 1: with someone describing more than one romantic right. That's what

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Speaker 1: throws me off. Romance party, you have romance with more

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Speaker 1: than one man, even if sex isn't involved. I still

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Speaker 1: I wonder if that's okay. I mean, it's okay, if

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Speaker 1: it's okay, but you know what I mean, I wonder,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I wonder if it's not a little blurry.

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Speaker 1: Hey Raven, Yes, hi Raven, good morning, So say or go.

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Speaker 1: This dude is concerned because he feels like his girlfriend

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Speaker 1: has a very very close relationship with his girlfriend with

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Speaker 1: her girlfriend rather and he's wondering if it's not you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe if it's not a little deeper than he thinks.

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Speaker 1: What do you think, Raven?

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Speaker 8: I think, I honestly think that he should say, because

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Speaker 8: it really isn't that big of a deal. I know

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Speaker 8: it might seem weird, but a lot of girls have

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Speaker 8: that type of relationship with another girl, even if they're

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Speaker 8: not by or or with a you know, a sexual

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Speaker 8: orientation like that. Like I'm speaking from experience as well,

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Speaker 8: like sometimes he just have this perfect relationship with like

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Speaker 8: your best friend or the person that m that you

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Speaker 8: just want to cuddle and be it and almost it's

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Speaker 8: borderlines actual, but it's not going to go anywhere. It's

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Speaker 8: not going that far, and that's not what they're there for.

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Speaker 8: It's that type of soul connection. But I will say

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Speaker 8: that I feel like they need to open communication even

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Speaker 8: further talk about it, and I think he just has

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Speaker 8: to get out of the mentality of the whole well

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Speaker 8: I want to join or or like you know, like.

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Speaker 9: Oh, well now now it's my turn.

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Speaker 8: To get on and on it, you know, Like I.

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Speaker 1: Hate that I feel like in the case of your friends,

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Speaker 1: you know who you're that close with, where it's sort

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Speaker 1: of teetering on the line, who would you favor if

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Speaker 1: it came down to that person or your boyfriend.

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Speaker 8: I would definitely go with my boyfriend for sure.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well, then I think that's that's healthy. I think

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Speaker 1: it's a situation where you favor the person who or

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Speaker 1: not in a romantic relationship with. I think that's when

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Speaker 1: what's the point of the romantic relationship then, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean, Like, if you can't establish that kind

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Speaker 1: of connection, if you're constantly favoring the other person, then

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Speaker 1: I think boundaries are not established, and that's a problem.

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Speaker 1: Whether there's sex or not. I mean, I've been in

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Speaker 1: these relationships before. You know where it's It happens all

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Speaker 1: the time, dating by committee, whether there's one or two

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Speaker 1: or three or five. You know, girls who are you know,

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Speaker 1: everything goes to them first, they work it out and

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Speaker 1: then and then the person comes to me. You judge

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Speaker 1: and jury and it's like, no, we're in the relation.

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Speaker 1: I'm not dating them, I'm dating you. And they weren't

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Speaker 1: there for whatever issue we're having. We were there, So like,

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Speaker 1: am I dating you or am I dating them? It's

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Speaker 1: almost like you should go date them. I guess because

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Speaker 1: you got it all figured out. I think that's that

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Speaker 1: everyone thinks about sex. But really it comes down to communication.

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Speaker 6: Yep.

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Speaker 8: Oh yeah, it comes down to communicating one hundred Like

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Speaker 8: you're completely.

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Speaker 7: Right, like you just have to communicate further and long as.

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Speaker 8: It becomes it doesn't become an overbearing problem. And as

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Speaker 8: long as there isn't like this, you know, like, hey,

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Speaker 8: we don't like you like group activity.

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Speaker 1: Like then that I think it's fine.

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Speaker 8: And just let it happen as long as it's healthy.

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Speaker 8: But you do have to communicate. But he's definitely say

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Speaker 8: let's be more open minded too, and don't don't be like, well, I.

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Speaker 1: Guess it's threesome, as he did bring that up, so

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Speaker 1: who knows. Maybe maybe this is sort of he's building

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Speaker 1: this up in his head like like it's more than

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Speaker 1: it should be because because he's kind of opening to

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Speaker 1: the bathroom together. Let's go, Hey, Teresa, good morning, Teresa,

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Speaker 1: good morning, Hi, good morning morning. Hey, what do you

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Speaker 1: want to say?

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Speaker 9: I want to say that he should leave. I think

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Speaker 9: that they're starting from romance pick feeling relationship like she's

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Speaker 9: putting a lot into her best friend, Like why is

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Speaker 9: she cuddling with her? Like what is it that her

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Speaker 9: boyfriend is not providing her that she's latching on to

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Speaker 9: her friend for Like this is how these types of

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Speaker 9: situations start. Oh, she's my friend, She's just my best friend.

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Speaker 9: I need advice, Like, oh, we do everything together, Like

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Speaker 9: it's an excuse. I'm a woman, trust me, Like I've seen.

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Speaker 1: This video before. And then she gets stuck in the

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Speaker 1: dishwasher and the only way out is yeah, yeah, I know.

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Speaker 1: What are these types of situation?

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Speaker 9: And I totally agree with what you've been saying this

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Speaker 9: whole time. He should go, He should save himself for

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Speaker 9: hurt and pain because obviously there's something secretive going on

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Speaker 9: and they don't want him to be a part of it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Teresa, thank you, have a good day, you too.

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Speaker 1: I mean, if your friend relationships are if you're if

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Speaker 1: you have a friend or a multiple friend relationship, that

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Speaker 1: is deeper. I mean, it might be deeper, but if

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Speaker 1: if it interacts at negatively with the romantic relationship you're

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Speaker 1: trying to have, then well that's a problem, regardless of

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Speaker 1: whether it's sexual or not. Hey, Rico hey, you're going

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Speaker 1: on bro, Hey man, what happened? Rico? Tell me everything?

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Speaker 6: Yeah, well, I mean, long story short, I don't want.

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Speaker 1: To keep keep going.

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Speaker 7: Uh.

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Speaker 6: The biggest my best friend, like dude, we were in supperable.

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Speaker 6: We were calling each other every day.

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Speaker 1: Male or female female okay, okay, yeah.

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Speaker 6: So uh, I mean she was so cool. So got

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Speaker 6: on earth, so like I was, I.

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Speaker 7: Mean here and there, I would hit on.

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Speaker 1: Her, you know, as a joke.

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Speaker 6: Obviously, you just you know, because whatever, you know.

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Speaker 1: Unless it wasn't that job.

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Speaker 6: Okay, well maybe it wasn't.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it wasn't a said exactly. It's it's a joke

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Speaker 1: when she says no, when she says yes, it's not

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Speaker 1: okay all right, so you.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, no no.

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Speaker 6: But hey, So so then she got with this one guy,

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Speaker 6: and I'm like, hey, really think about about it. See

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Speaker 6: see see how he makes you feel or whatever. You know,

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Speaker 6: I would just give her this little advice. So so

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Speaker 6: like like at the end kind of when she was

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Speaker 6: gonna start with him, we almost slept together.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so then like no, go ahead, go ahead, finish up.

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Speaker 1: We kill go ahead and finish it.

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Speaker 6: So so like when they started together, she like basically

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Speaker 6: told me we can that she couldn't see me, see

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Speaker 6: me anymore, She uh that I couldn't call her anymore,

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Speaker 6: that lose her number. I'm like, you know what, that's

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Speaker 6: completely fine. I understand.

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Speaker 1: And you guys weren't that gout of friends anyway, you know,

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Speaker 1: And that's my point. She was able to identify that

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Speaker 1: you were going to prevent her from proceeding in another

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Speaker 1: relationship with another man, and I guess she decided that that,

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Speaker 1: you know, being able to do that and have those

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Speaker 1: boundaries was more important than being your friend, which is

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Speaker 1: a shame. But rico, thank you man, have a good day.

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Speaker 1: Gotta go, all right, Yeah, that's the thing. And I

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Speaker 1: don't know, you know, some of you guys have different

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Speaker 1: terms or ruvie of for examples married. So but like

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Speaker 1: if I if I couldn't give a woman objective advice

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Speaker 1: about a relationship with another man, that I can't be

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Speaker 1: her friend truly by definition like friend, and I have

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Speaker 1: to just say I have to make that like when

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Speaker 1: when sometimes if you get friend zoned and someone's like, well,

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Speaker 1: we can be friends, it's like, no, we can't be friends.

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Speaker 1: We can't be friends because I can't separate myself from

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Speaker 1: the part of me that likes you romantically, or the

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Speaker 1: part of meat at once slept with you or whatever.

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Speaker 1: You know, people will do that every now and again.

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Speaker 1: They'll be like, men do it too, you know, we

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Speaker 1: hooked up for a while and then it fizzles. Well,

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Speaker 1: we could be friends, and so my definite in my

401
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Speaker 1: mind if you're like, let's be friends, and I'm like no,

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Speaker 1: because if you call me and you want to talk

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Speaker 1: about your boyfriend and I'm going to give you bad

404
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Speaker 1: advice because it benefits me because I want you to

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Speaker 1: come back to me then, or because I feel like

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Speaker 1: it conflicts with my interests, then I can't be your

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Speaker 1: friend and I have to separate myself. And it sounds

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Speaker 1: like that's what this lady said, you know, or this

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Speaker 1: guy rather the homeboy he just called. It sounds like

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Speaker 1: what she said to him was, look, I can't this

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Speaker 1: is too blurry, I can't do this right. Yeah, which

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Speaker 1: sucks because sometimes people are okay just being friends, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. I feel like this happens to

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Speaker 1: women more than men because men tend to sexualize things.

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Speaker 1: And then it's like a woman can actually be a

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Speaker 1: friend with a guy and he can't do it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but it was a joke. Fred, there's only a joke. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they're just joking. He was choking. Unless you say yes,

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Speaker 1: this phone call takes a whole different times.