WEBVTT - White Disguise

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<v Speaker 1>This show is off the cuff, no need to rehearse it.

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<v Speaker 1>Put our thing down. Smack flip its it. Remember, Lacy

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<v Speaker 1>licy and boh, that was pretty good. That might have

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<v Speaker 1>been one of the best ones. Yeah, I think the

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<v Speaker 1>very first one. I talked about you smelling like pee.

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<v Speaker 1>But besides that, this is the next one. I think

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<v Speaker 1>our first song. I couldn't even get it out. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>p one is bad.

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<v Speaker 2>One was one of the best.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm still getting letters, like real letters about how great

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<v Speaker 1>that was.

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<v Speaker 2>So no one should be sending you a letter about that.

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<v Speaker 2>Hold on, dear lady, a physical letter.

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<v Speaker 1>If a stranger send you a physical letter, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know that you should be opening in That's true. That's true,

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<v Speaker 1>especially nowadays. I don't even know these strange messages.

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<v Speaker 2>Lacy. Yes, listen, I'm going on a trip. Wait let

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<v Speaker 2>it wait.

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<v Speaker 1>Wait wait oh oh oh my song that's late Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>And it said scam likely oh man, Yeah, that is true.

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<v Speaker 2>That's what I'm hearing. I thought there was a raccoon

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<v Speaker 2>in the house. No, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'm going on a road trip again to New

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<v Speaker 1>York my life yep, on the road again, just getting

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<v Speaker 1>wait to be on the road again, Amber. Yes, and

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<v Speaker 1>anything exciting happened today. Yes, today we announced that I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going to be the featured entertainer at the White House

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<v Speaker 1>Correspondence dinner.

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<v Speaker 2>Yay, it's gonna be exciting.

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<v Speaker 1>It's gonna be exciting. But I feel so bad because

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<v Speaker 1>we were on Morning Joe.

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<v Speaker 2>I saw it and the do you do do? Are

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<v Speaker 2>you hoping that the president comes? I said no, that.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought it. I died. I was like thatmell out

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<v Speaker 1>of your mouth, that fell off up, that was a punk.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to fight him, That's what I wanted to say,

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<v Speaker 1>but I tried to act nicely.

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<v Speaker 2>But if everyone would have been like, nobody wants him there.

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<v Speaker 1>Nobody wants it smells like, oh that's information. I never

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<v Speaker 1>want old spice. Come on now, old spicy McDonald's smells

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<v Speaker 1>like old hmmm. Yeah, we don't want that. No one

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<v Speaker 1>wants that. But I did laugh out loud when you

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<v Speaker 1>said that it's going to be exciting.

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<v Speaker 2>More importantly, what are you wearing? Who cares what you say?

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<v Speaker 1>A beautiful black jacket and the jacket has.

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<v Speaker 2>Let ell spark the lease. Okay, so you're gonna love it.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sure I will I'm sure it will be cute.

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<v Speaker 2>What in the how did this? Can't I go off?

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't? I turned it off. Always stop us from

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<v Speaker 2>having fun.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh man, my ring is one of the best ringtones ever, everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm so sorry. I write songs to every ring

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<v Speaker 1>tone everybody ever has I know, and our brother's ringtone

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<v Speaker 1>is the best.

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<v Speaker 2>What that man was thinking?

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<v Speaker 1>Our brother's ringtone? We wrote an entire song for it.

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<v Speaker 1>This is one of those Correspondent Dinner Janet Jackson a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit. I love it. I'm glad we did that

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<v Speaker 1>here on the podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Everyone.

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<v Speaker 1>It's exactly how she decided. It's black and it's sparkly. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>just tune in Amber Ruffin Cabra. When is the Correspondent's Dinner?

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<v Speaker 1>When can people watch it? The White House Correspondence Dinner

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<v Speaker 1>takes place on no other than the twenty sixth.

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<v Speaker 2>Hing the then.

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<v Speaker 1>I know you was looking it up. I knew I

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<v Speaker 1>see it if you knew, Oh, you were right, I know.

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<v Speaker 1>Remember I think it was our last podcast I talked

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<v Speaker 1>about we'll probably have IDs soon.

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<v Speaker 2>Listen.

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<v Speaker 1>Every day we're getting closer to having m id's and

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<v Speaker 1>everybody going to have now listen, when the IDs come

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<v Speaker 1>out what I've done, and you're not just gonna be

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<v Speaker 1>able to leave your house anymore? Amber you think I'm joking.

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<v Speaker 1>So I've seen started a new business. And uh it's

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<v Speaker 1>called my White Disguise. Okay, if you want to be

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<v Speaker 1>able to leave the house, put on this white disguise,

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<v Speaker 1>just gonna push put it right on.

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<v Speaker 2>Your Wig's gonna be in there, your face.

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<v Speaker 1>Everything. The gloves are extra. The gloves are extra. The

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<v Speaker 1>white gloves, the white skin gloves are extra. Listen, we

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<v Speaker 1>were able to walk around freely. You think so, No,

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<v Speaker 1>I think we're at the end of it.

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<v Speaker 2>Lacey will not stop saying surprise, surprise. I love surprise surprise.

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<v Speaker 1>And I left my I d the last time I

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<v Speaker 1>was home at her house and I had to get

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<v Speaker 1>on a flight. So I was like, Lacey, you got

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<v Speaker 1>a break, waity. She drove up and she dropped off

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<v Speaker 1>the idea of the roll darter window and yelled surprised,

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<v Speaker 1>And we're.

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<v Speaker 2>In the park.

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<v Speaker 1>We're in the parking garage're and echoed it was beautiful.

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<v Speaker 2>It really did. So it was Beau, that's real. Sorry

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<v Speaker 2>everybody you heard.

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<v Speaker 1>My song, Yeah, everybody heard it.

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<v Speaker 2>I love that you're so positive? What do you mean positive? How?

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<v Speaker 2>And we're not gonna be wearing this my white the sky.

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<v Speaker 2>I made you one. I made you one.

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<v Speaker 1>We're not gonna be We're I don't think we're gonna

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<v Speaker 1>have IDs. This is Lacy talking about the Trump presidency

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<v Speaker 1>and how bad it's gonna get. But I will have

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<v Speaker 1>to I do have to say this. Technically, Lacey's nickname

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<v Speaker 1>is Lestradamus because thank you, she has an uncanny ability

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<v Speaker 1>to predict what's going on. And she'll just flippantly say

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<v Speaker 1>a joke and then the jokes will be real.

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<v Speaker 2>The jokes will be real. So yeah, I'm going to

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<v Speaker 2>make a ton all of this.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, guys, and if you can't support, if you can't

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<v Speaker 1>afford my white disguise, I'll get you one. I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>gonna you know, I'm not in it for the money,

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<v Speaker 1>just trying to let you go to the you want

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<v Speaker 1>to go to the grocery store, You put on the costume,

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<v Speaker 1>you go.

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<v Speaker 2>You won't get her asked.

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<v Speaker 1>None of this is necessary. I also have to offer

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<v Speaker 1>this story. One time one of our friends had ax wild.

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<v Speaker 1>She asks too wild all the time, and Lacey was

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<v Speaker 1>like she was looking for a job, and Lacy goes, huh.

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<v Speaker 2>That's funny.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought she had a job, because you know, she

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<v Speaker 1>had for so long. And Lacy goes, her crazy ass

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<v Speaker 1>probably fell down in front of everybody and got fired.

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<v Speaker 1>And then it turned out that that is exactly what happened,

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<v Speaker 1>and she had a big goose egg on her head

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<v Speaker 1>and she had been fired.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was like, that is uncanny.

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<v Speaker 1>To such a throwaway line, probably failing her head everybody.

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<v Speaker 1>So as you got fired, why would you why would

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<v Speaker 1>that even occur to you to say? Because I know, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>so with the white disguise, you get a free Trump,

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<v Speaker 1>you get a free Trump. I d that matches your disguise.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm doing this so you'll be fine. You'll be fine

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<v Speaker 1>to I know you don't want to, None of us

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<v Speaker 1>want to when you call me up at two am,

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<v Speaker 1>and I know you will. You got any more white

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<v Speaker 1>disguises over there? Like, yeah, go on, is this Waite?

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<v Speaker 2>Who is it? Is this Amber Ruffert? The one who

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<v Speaker 2>made fun of me? Is Amber Ruffett?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>I got one for you. Yeah, you don't save me

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<v Speaker 2>the ugliest one.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, the buck tooth one. Oh yeah, but tooth sharing.

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<v Speaker 1>That's gonna be shared because you didn't get it when

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<v Speaker 1>they were hot you.

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<v Speaker 2>You didn't pick the good ones. You talked about me.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, No, I won't. I won't give you book tooth share. Yay,

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<v Speaker 1>but I'm gonna think about it. Jeez, Louise Lacy. I

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<v Speaker 1>think we're all doing a good job. I think so too.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think I'm excited to host White House Correspondence

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<v Speaker 1>thenner and it's gonna be cute, but it's also going

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<v Speaker 1>to be a little bit mean.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, it's gonna.

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<v Speaker 1>Be he's gonna be upset and he's going to talk

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<v Speaker 1>about you. He's gonna be tweeting while it happens. Right,

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<v Speaker 1>do people still tweet? Is he still a tweeter?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>He's gonna do something. He's gonna go on whatever social

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<v Speaker 1>media and he's gonna be talking about it.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like the what I get to do my

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<v Speaker 1>black privileges as a black lady with it with nappy hair.

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<v Speaker 1>White people don't really like the real racists, don't. They

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<v Speaker 1>can't bear to look at me. No, I don't think

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<v Speaker 1>they can tolerate it. I really don't, because it's usually

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<v Speaker 1>my face and then in the thumbnail of the video

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<v Speaker 1>it's like racism or something, and then they're not clicking

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<v Speaker 1>on it. So I rarely I think they are going

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<v Speaker 1>to show a clip of you though on Fox, and

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<v Speaker 1>that's what I really want to see. Oh my god,

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<v Speaker 1>that would rule. I'm gonna show that at clip. But

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I'm in the audience. Hopefully they show me

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<v Speaker 1>and they're like, audience like, yeah, no, my dream, that's

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<v Speaker 1>my dream. Okay, Oh, we have to go take a break.

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<v Speaker 1>We have to take a break around of time for this?

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<v Speaker 1>Hey everybody, Hey, nobody have time for that except you

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<v Speaker 1>stick around. We'll be right back with more of than

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<v Speaker 1>Amber and lay Lacy at Amber Show sponsored by My

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<v Speaker 1>White Surprise. Hey you need a costume? Do you want

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<v Speaker 1>to go to the library today? Without being yelled at? Hey?

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<v Speaker 1>Hey everybody, We're back with more than the Amber and

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<v Speaker 1>Lacy Lacy and Amber Show. What what I forgot my

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<v Speaker 1>show and tell? Do I have time to grab the

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<v Speaker 1>show and tell?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? For can you stand it? Okay?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, so hey everyone, we have a segment on the

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<v Speaker 1>Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show where it's called

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<v Speaker 1>can you Stand It?

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<v Speaker 2>Can You Stand It?

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<v Speaker 1>Is where we tell one another about the people with, places,

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<v Speaker 1>or things that are currently changing our lives. Is it

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<v Speaker 1>a new can of hairspray, Is it a new matt

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<v Speaker 1>finish to your powder face? Or is it a lollipop?

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<v Speaker 1>If it's me, it's probably a lollipop. So while Lacey's gone,

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<v Speaker 1>and she just ran out of the room to get her,

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<v Speaker 1>can you stand it? I just would like to tell

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<v Speaker 1>you the following secrets about Lacey. One she's a poop.

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<v Speaker 1>Two she poops. Three Lacey Lamar smells like poops. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>we are back with we'd talking.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was talking about you where you were going? Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>Amber just got issued some new medication and the medication

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<v Speaker 1>makes her spot lies.

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<v Speaker 3>So I don't know what she's good when I was gone,

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<v Speaker 3>but just she needs help, y'all. Okay, we want to

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<v Speaker 3>adjust her. Man, She's gonna be good now. My can

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<v Speaker 3>you stand it? My?

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<v Speaker 2>Can you stand it? Okay? Here, I'm bretty heavy because

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<v Speaker 2>I went up two stairs.

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<v Speaker 1>I haven't stairs in your house is fun until you

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<v Speaker 1>leave something down there that's horrible. I there's a small

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<v Speaker 1>dog behind me going in saying, Mike, can you stand it? Is?

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<v Speaker 1>I've decided to get me and my ladies. We're going

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<v Speaker 1>to join a sculpting class. Okay. Fun. So I went

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<v Speaker 1>and toward the studio and you know, I got a

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<v Speaker 1>little piece of clay while we were touring, and the

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<v Speaker 1>guy was like, here, do you want to just do

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<v Speaker 1>a little sculpture right here? And I was like what

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<v Speaker 1>and show everyone up and show everyone how a beautiful

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<v Speaker 1>sculpture I am. So look at my sculpture that I made.

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<v Speaker 1>This is only the nose and the mouth. Did you

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<v Speaker 1>see how beautiful it is?

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<v Speaker 2>Can you say? Everyone? Okay, do you see that? You

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<v Speaker 2>see this? Okay, there you go. Do you see it?

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<v Speaker 2>Looks it's beautiful. Now.

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<v Speaker 1>I brought this up because I need you. I'm comparing

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<v Speaker 1>this to one of Amber's sculptures.

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<v Speaker 2>What hell is? Damn it?

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<v Speaker 1>What's this mess? Okay, it's a mess. So I'm just

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<v Speaker 1>letting you know, nose and lips bobbing.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, that's all I want. That's me. That's my show

0:13:13.080 --> 0:13:13.400
<v Speaker 2>and tell.

0:13:13.480 --> 0:13:15.920
<v Speaker 1>But I'm gonna say two or three days, I'm going

0:13:16.000 --> 0:13:21.959
<v Speaker 1>to be a world famous sculptor. After world famous, Yeah, okay,

0:13:22.160 --> 0:13:24.160
<v Speaker 1>everyone's gonna be coming from all over the world.

0:13:24.240 --> 0:13:25.320
<v Speaker 2>You got any more nose?

0:13:25.400 --> 0:13:27.800
<v Speaker 1>Lips, and I'm gonna be like, yeah, why.

0:13:29.320 --> 0:13:30.880
<v Speaker 2>Did you just do the nose and lips?

0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:33.960
<v Speaker 1>Just started? That's all I did. Mind your business. I'm

0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:37.240
<v Speaker 1>the artist here, Okay, okay, I'm the captain. Now look

0:13:37.240 --> 0:13:41.199
<v Speaker 1>at me. I made those nose and lips's. It was

0:13:41.360 --> 0:13:44.560
<v Speaker 1>beautiful nose and lips. But why what I started with?

0:13:44.840 --> 0:13:50.240
<v Speaker 1>Don't question It's just that I have so many questions. No,

0:13:50.360 --> 0:13:53.080
<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't be questioning so hard if I wasn't filled

0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:57.920
<v Speaker 1>with questions, right, Okay, stop making fun of my thing.

0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:01.760
<v Speaker 1>It's funny when we make fun of you, but when

0:14:01.800 --> 0:14:03.920
<v Speaker 1>you make fun of me, that's not funny.

0:14:04.080 --> 0:14:07.120
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Amber, do you have a canyon statu? Oh?

0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:11.600
<v Speaker 1>Actually this just happened to me the other day. I

0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:18.000
<v Speaker 1>was googling best what's the word that you where you

0:14:18.040 --> 0:14:18.960
<v Speaker 1>write on paper?

0:14:19.200 --> 0:14:20.240
<v Speaker 2>The best card stock?

0:14:20.680 --> 0:14:23.320
<v Speaker 1>So then I found the place that has a lot

0:14:23.560 --> 0:14:28.560
<v Speaker 1>of really thick, really good card stock, and I was like, oh,

0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:31.360
<v Speaker 1>let me see it. I get there and they're like here,

0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:33.320
<v Speaker 1>here you go, and they hand me this card stock

0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:35.280
<v Speaker 1>and it's the menu of the cheesecake fashery.

0:14:35.360 --> 0:14:37.200
<v Speaker 2>The best person it is the cheesecake factory.

0:14:37.200 --> 0:14:40.440
<v Speaker 1>I'll never not say anything other than cheesecake factory cheesecake

0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:43.560
<v Speaker 1>factory rules. So you're going to be writing invitations on

0:14:43.880 --> 0:14:48.600
<v Speaker 1>cheesecake factory menus. Is this what you're saying is bountiful,

0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:53.480
<v Speaker 1>thick end perfect? That's okay, we'll freeze for a minute,

0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:56.400
<v Speaker 1>But it's what you do when you unfreeze that counts.

0:14:56.640 --> 0:14:57.000
<v Speaker 2>Okay.

0:14:57.160 --> 0:15:00.360
<v Speaker 1>Now is your ship plugged in tight enough? Yeah?

0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:00.880
<v Speaker 2>Lacy?

0:15:01.000 --> 0:15:03.160
<v Speaker 1>And I've always said this about you. You you have

0:15:03.280 --> 0:15:04.120
<v Speaker 1>loose plugs.

0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:10.440
<v Speaker 2>I knew you were going to say that. Nasty, a

0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:20.120
<v Speaker 2>little nasty. It's tough having plugs, it is, it is.

0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:23.440
<v Speaker 1>I know that sounds like you have loose hair plugs

0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:25.800
<v Speaker 1>and then your hair is gonna start falling out one

0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:30.200
<v Speaker 1>by one man, which man would be so fucking great.

0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:36.440
<v Speaker 2>No, it wouldn't, it would actually rule. It absolutely would not.

0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:39.720
<v Speaker 2>Yes it would, Lacey. When's your next? Okay? Oh?

0:15:39.800 --> 0:15:42.360
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I have my d MS and they're ready, they're

0:15:42.400 --> 0:15:47.160
<v Speaker 1>hot and ready. But what were you about to say?

0:15:47.200 --> 0:15:50.000
<v Speaker 2>Oh, let's do it? Hey? Everyone?

0:15:50.680 --> 0:15:54.600
<v Speaker 1>On? Why do you and I say hey everyone so often?

0:15:56.560 --> 0:16:01.000
<v Speaker 1>Hundred all the time, all the time. Hey everybody. Sometimes

0:16:01.000 --> 0:16:03.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm in the kitchen and I can't find something, and

0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:05.080
<v Speaker 1>I go Hey, everyone, where is the thing?

0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:06.960
<v Speaker 2>And I'm just doing it all the time. I see

0:16:07.040 --> 0:16:11.080
<v Speaker 2>Hey everyone, I can't be stopped. We're ready for the stage. Yay,

0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:14.360
<v Speaker 2>Hey everybody. H Hey everyone here.

0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:16.480
<v Speaker 1>On the Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show, we

0:16:16.680 --> 0:16:19.120
<v Speaker 1>like to do a segment called please Slide Out of

0:16:19.240 --> 0:16:24.320
<v Speaker 1>Lacey's dms, where we read actual dms sent to Lacey

0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:28.680
<v Speaker 1>on dating dating apps. I almost said dating sites because

0:16:28.880 --> 0:16:32.080
<v Speaker 1>of my age. Okay, Lacey, take it away.

0:16:32.840 --> 0:16:33.160
<v Speaker 2>Okay.

0:16:33.200 --> 0:16:35.560
<v Speaker 1>And not only are they sent to me on dating

0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:40.880
<v Speaker 1>sites apps anyone. This is just anything. It could be

0:16:41.120 --> 0:16:43.320
<v Speaker 1>in my Facebook d and ms. It could be Instagram.

0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:46.720
<v Speaker 1>People will shoot their shot and it's never really great.

0:16:46.800 --> 0:16:48.160
<v Speaker 2>I hate to say it. Here we go.

0:16:48.560 --> 0:16:51.440
<v Speaker 1>This one says, hello, I love oh, I gotta get

0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:53.400
<v Speaker 1>the picture ready. I love that you don't wear a

0:16:53.400 --> 0:16:56.320
<v Speaker 1>lot of makeup. It's hard to find a woman that

0:16:56.520 --> 0:16:59.960
<v Speaker 1>isn't slathered in it. And he sent me a picture.

0:17:00.280 --> 0:17:02.120
<v Speaker 1>You know when they send you the little picture and

0:17:02.120 --> 0:17:04.480
<v Speaker 1>there's a little comment next to it. So he got

0:17:04.480 --> 0:17:11.479
<v Speaker 1>it from my profile. Listen, buddy, this ain't nothing. The

0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:15.120
<v Speaker 1>most you ever worn. This is your makeup artists did this.

0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:18.160
<v Speaker 1>This was when I was on your show, sir, so

0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:19.640
<v Speaker 1>I responded to him.

0:17:20.320 --> 0:17:23.840
<v Speaker 2>In this picture, I'm beyond slathered in it. I'm covered.

0:17:24.200 --> 0:17:27.080
<v Speaker 1>It's a damn makeup, I said, I'm covered, and codd,

0:17:27.200 --> 0:17:32.679
<v Speaker 1>it's a damn makeup mask. You absolutely love women in makeup.

0:17:32.760 --> 0:17:35.320
<v Speaker 1>You love us, You love women in makeup. If that's

0:17:35.359 --> 0:17:37.840
<v Speaker 1>what you chose and said you want a natural woman,

0:17:37.960 --> 0:17:38.480
<v Speaker 1>No you don't.

0:17:38.840 --> 0:17:40.320
<v Speaker 2>No, you don't, cause I take that makeup off. You

0:17:40.320 --> 0:17:42.639
<v Speaker 2>don't know who I am. You won't recognize me.

0:17:43.200 --> 0:17:45.680
<v Speaker 1>So you you're the opposite of what you're saying.

0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:46.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:17:46.880 --> 0:17:51.320
<v Speaker 1>Also, the way your dms are, I thought one hundred

0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:54.000
<v Speaker 1>percent that you were going to be like and this

0:17:54.240 --> 0:17:56.200
<v Speaker 1>was his profile picture, and it would be a man

0:17:56.280 --> 0:17:56.760
<v Speaker 1>in makeup.

0:17:57.280 --> 0:17:59.359
<v Speaker 2>That was what I said. I want to see. He

0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:02.880
<v Speaker 2>probably did have a little, at least it a little

0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:08.439
<v Speaker 2>well contour. That is so funny. You fully TV ready

0:18:08.840 --> 0:18:12.639
<v Speaker 2>you don't like women to makeup, You absolutely love you

0:18:12.720 --> 0:18:13.119
<v Speaker 2>love us.

0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:16.280
<v Speaker 1>Okay, yeah, that was a full face that took six

0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:18.600
<v Speaker 1>hours to get that makeup of. I know that's right,

0:18:19.800 --> 0:18:22.920
<v Speaker 1>but thank you for thinking that all that blush was natural.

0:18:23.160 --> 0:18:26.920
<v Speaker 2>Get out of here. Okay, this one, Oh my god,

0:18:26.960 --> 0:18:28.639
<v Speaker 2>this hurt my little feelings.

0:18:29.000 --> 0:18:31.840
<v Speaker 1>You know when you know someone from like elementary school

0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:34.760
<v Speaker 1>and they reach out to you and you're like, oh

0:18:34.800 --> 0:18:37.960
<v Speaker 1>he's cute. Oh my god, look crush and oh now

0:18:38.000 --> 0:18:40.040
<v Speaker 1>we're older and we it's like, oh, we made a

0:18:40.040 --> 0:18:44.520
<v Speaker 1>full circle at baby, and then we can tell everybody we.

0:18:44.520 --> 0:18:45.359
<v Speaker 2>Met the third grade.

0:18:46.560 --> 0:18:50.800
<v Speaker 1>So he reached out to me and he said, so disappointing.

0:18:51.400 --> 0:18:53.960
<v Speaker 1>Let me take you out to dinner and you can

0:18:54.000 --> 0:18:57.440
<v Speaker 1>find a way to pay me back. Oh oh, when

0:18:57.480 --> 0:19:01.119
<v Speaker 1>I tell you, my heart fell. But you know my

0:19:01.240 --> 0:19:05.160
<v Speaker 1>level of pettiness. When you go low, I go to hell.

0:19:05.680 --> 0:19:08.240
<v Speaker 1>I said, you Pete on yourself during Show and Tell

0:19:08.359 --> 0:19:13.600
<v Speaker 1>Miss Dunnan's third grade class, and I left it because

0:19:13.640 --> 0:19:18.680
<v Speaker 1>you did. I want to say his first name so bad.

0:19:18.720 --> 0:19:20.800
<v Speaker 1>But since there was like twelve of us in class,

0:19:21.040 --> 0:19:23.640
<v Speaker 1>everyone's going to go back and know why I don't

0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:24.159
<v Speaker 1>have time for this.

0:19:24.600 --> 0:19:28.680
<v Speaker 2>See he did. Didn't you say that? Because he did?

0:19:29.160 --> 0:19:30.240
<v Speaker 2>So he did.

0:19:31.760 --> 0:19:36.120
<v Speaker 1>And you're asking for you're asking for favors after a date, sir,

0:19:36.160 --> 0:19:37.320
<v Speaker 1>we're going to straight to P. P.

0:19:37.480 --> 0:19:41.760
<v Speaker 2>Johnson. Yeah, you're getting that. That's forty years ago, Pete

0:19:41.840 --> 0:19:45.600
<v Speaker 2>and I left it never responded. It's still up. He

0:19:45.640 --> 0:19:48.199
<v Speaker 2>didn't respond I didn't black him, he didn't black me.

0:19:48.400 --> 0:19:50.359
<v Speaker 2>Maybe he's still thinking that's.

0:19:50.200 --> 0:19:55.000
<v Speaker 1>Really extra cold because he knows you remembered it for

0:19:55.000 --> 0:19:56.440
<v Speaker 1>forty years this whole time.

0:19:56.680 --> 0:19:59.080
<v Speaker 2>Come on, now, that's that's the nightmare.

0:20:00.320 --> 0:20:03.720
<v Speaker 1>You comfort yourself by saying, well, no one remembers it, sir,

0:20:04.119 --> 0:20:11.879
<v Speaker 1>Claire is a bell. Claire is a bell. Was still

0:20:12.000 --> 0:20:14.480
<v Speaker 1>willing to cheachat with you. I was still like, that's

0:20:14.480 --> 0:20:16.439
<v Speaker 1>that point to pee on herself. I'm gonna give them

0:20:16.480 --> 0:20:18.520
<v Speaker 1>a chance. And this is what you come at me with.

0:20:19.000 --> 0:20:20.439
<v Speaker 1>You're gonna get it. You're gonna get it.

0:20:20.520 --> 0:20:20.960
<v Speaker 2>Okay.

0:20:21.200 --> 0:20:24.920
<v Speaker 1>My last one is okay, this just out of the blue,

0:20:25.400 --> 0:20:28.399
<v Speaker 1>just dumb ass. First things they say, will you please

0:20:28.440 --> 0:20:32.359
<v Speaker 1>take my virginity? And I just said, no, keep it.

0:20:32.440 --> 0:20:33.000
<v Speaker 2>That's all I did.

0:20:33.640 --> 0:20:36.680
<v Speaker 1>That's just no, I want it. Why do people say

0:20:36.800 --> 0:20:40.400
<v Speaker 1>dumb things like that? And are you a virgin? You're fifty, sir,

0:20:40.480 --> 0:20:42.639
<v Speaker 1>you're fifty. I don't want it. I don't want it.

0:20:42.960 --> 0:20:46.639
<v Speaker 1>I want it. I want it something. The fact that

0:20:46.760 --> 0:20:49.080
<v Speaker 1>you held out this lot, I don't want it. It's rotten.

0:20:50.400 --> 0:20:51.320
<v Speaker 1>It's like a spire.

0:20:51.640 --> 0:20:56.199
<v Speaker 2>I don't want that your virginity. Virginities do expire they do.

0:20:56.400 --> 0:20:56.919
<v Speaker 2>They do.

0:20:56.920 --> 0:21:01.440
<v Speaker 1>You do not get time, then you hasn't broken gotten laid.

0:21:01.680 --> 0:21:03.399
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, no, I don't want to.

0:21:03.480 --> 0:21:08.119
<v Speaker 1>Sorry. Virginities expire. You learn that here on the Amber

0:21:08.119 --> 0:21:11.359
<v Speaker 1>and Lacey Show. See how easy it is to become

0:21:11.400 --> 0:21:14.760
<v Speaker 1>a conspiracy theorist, because how much fun would it have

0:21:14.840 --> 0:21:18.240
<v Speaker 1>been to quadruple down and be like, if you don't

0:21:18.359 --> 0:21:24.800
<v Speaker 1>lose your virginity, then you lose your virginity expirement. That's

0:21:24.880 --> 0:21:30.240
<v Speaker 1>so true. That's how these people are born, Lacey. Let's

0:21:30.640 --> 0:21:35.480
<v Speaker 1>start offering one conspiracy theory per show. Absolutely, that was

0:21:35.560 --> 0:21:41.160
<v Speaker 1>our first one. Yeah, our first one is virginities expire.

0:21:41.359 --> 0:21:44.119
<v Speaker 1>They do so every none not a virgin. Once you

0:21:44.119 --> 0:21:47.919
<v Speaker 1>have none of a stortain age gone, then virginity is gone.

0:21:48.160 --> 0:21:50.679
<v Speaker 1>Your virginity is gone. Oh how old are you? That

0:21:50.760 --> 0:21:55.760
<v Speaker 1>thing expired twelve months ago? I'm sorry, ma'am? Sorry whoever? No,

0:21:56.119 --> 0:21:59.240
<v Speaker 1>you wait until fifty. First of all, no, you didn't know,

0:21:59.359 --> 0:22:03.800
<v Speaker 1>you didn't, you didn't. Terrible line, terrible line. Okay, I

0:22:03.840 --> 0:22:10.000
<v Speaker 1>think it's also time now for sister goold dut dunt

0:22:10.080 --> 0:22:14.400
<v Speaker 1>don't godes God.

0:22:16.160 --> 0:22:16.880
<v Speaker 2>That's a good song.

0:22:17.200 --> 0:22:20.120
<v Speaker 1>When we get that album of Amber and Lacy, Lacey

0:22:20.160 --> 0:22:23.680
<v Speaker 1>and Ambershaw songs. It's gonna go platinum, It's gonna it's

0:22:23.720 --> 0:22:26.120
<v Speaker 1>gonna be bigger than they not like us. Oh, what's

0:22:26.119 --> 0:22:29.080
<v Speaker 1>hold on? I got a chit chat about this? What

0:22:29.280 --> 0:22:32.560
<v Speaker 1>am I the only? Am I the only person in

0:22:32.600 --> 0:22:33.720
<v Speaker 1>the world that is like.

0:22:33.920 --> 0:22:36.320
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Drake's had enough? Leave him alone.

0:22:36.680 --> 0:22:38.320
<v Speaker 1>When I tell you, I don't know anything about Drake.

0:22:38.560 --> 0:22:41.760
<v Speaker 1>I don't know anything about Drake. I feel like he's

0:22:41.800 --> 0:22:44.000
<v Speaker 1>somewhere crying. I feel it in my heart, and I

0:22:44.000 --> 0:22:47.160
<v Speaker 1>feel like he's so so sad. It's the ultimate.

0:22:47.400 --> 0:22:48.080
<v Speaker 2>This is more.

0:22:48.520 --> 0:22:51.480
<v Speaker 1>This is this is more bullying than you peeped in

0:22:51.520 --> 0:22:52.360
<v Speaker 1>front of your class.

0:22:52.480 --> 0:22:53.920
<v Speaker 2>This is this is terrible.

0:22:56.480 --> 0:22:59.040
<v Speaker 1>It's I don't feel bad about Pep Johnson, but I

0:22:59.040 --> 0:23:01.600
<v Speaker 1>feel bad about Drake. I feel bad about it too,

0:23:01.760 --> 0:23:04.200
<v Speaker 1>and I have felt bad about it from the very beginning,

0:23:04.440 --> 0:23:09.000
<v Speaker 1>from the second dis track, like this's too far. He

0:23:09.119 --> 0:23:13.159
<v Speaker 1>can't he doesn't know because I don't know what he

0:23:13.280 --> 0:23:17.800
<v Speaker 1>would have expected. Did he expect to be spared? Did

0:23:17.840 --> 0:23:20.600
<v Speaker 1>he think he could win? I don't quite get it.

0:23:20.920 --> 0:23:24.680
<v Speaker 1>I don't love it, but it did make for easily

0:23:25.119 --> 0:23:27.000
<v Speaker 1>one of the best songs of all time.

0:23:27.440 --> 0:23:30.879
<v Speaker 2>No, don't say it. I don't want to do.

0:23:32.640 --> 0:23:32.760
<v Speaker 1>This.

0:23:33.520 --> 0:23:36.200
<v Speaker 2>I do too, and that's sad. And then he got

0:23:36.200 --> 0:23:37.440
<v Speaker 2>a Grammy about it.

0:23:37.560 --> 0:23:39.920
<v Speaker 1>And then as he was walking up to get the Grammy,

0:23:40.359 --> 0:23:45.080
<v Speaker 1>every respected musician on earth was singing alonggoing and it's

0:23:45.080 --> 0:23:48.680
<v Speaker 1>probably a minor I was like.

0:23:48.800 --> 0:23:54.080
<v Speaker 2>Oh shit, that stings. That's stings. That stings. Yeah, I

0:23:54.119 --> 0:24:00.080
<v Speaker 2>hope no one dislikes me that bad. One day I

0:24:00.160 --> 0:24:03.679
<v Speaker 2>sold that disk track. I've made a amber. Okay, thank you. Sorry,

0:24:04.080 --> 0:24:05.359
<v Speaker 2>make a disk track about me.

0:24:05.600 --> 0:24:07.280
<v Speaker 1>You just told me that you can't take a distrack,

0:24:07.359 --> 0:24:11.560
<v Speaker 1>so I just canceled it. I think not coming out. Look,

0:24:11.840 --> 0:24:14.760
<v Speaker 1>I've been around people talk shit about me on the internet.

0:24:14.800 --> 0:24:19.359
<v Speaker 1>It's very it's infrequent, but it does happen. But I'm saying,

0:24:19.960 --> 0:24:23.240
<v Speaker 1>if you made a disk track about me, even if

0:24:23.280 --> 0:24:26.920
<v Speaker 1>it was bad, the thought, the thought that you would

0:24:27.000 --> 0:24:31.439
<v Speaker 1>get up, put on socks, go to a studio and

0:24:31.640 --> 0:24:32.879
<v Speaker 1>get out of your car.

0:24:33.359 --> 0:24:35.439
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, make a song that's so cold.

0:24:36.160 --> 0:24:40.440
<v Speaker 1>I've disliked many people, probably hate not not that many

0:24:40.520 --> 0:24:42.120
<v Speaker 1>at all, probably almost zero.

0:24:42.480 --> 0:24:46.280
<v Speaker 2>But I can't. My hate has no action behind it.

0:24:46.560 --> 0:24:48.800
<v Speaker 1>My hate is just like I don't like this, and

0:24:48.840 --> 0:24:50.720
<v Speaker 1>then that's it and move on to the next thing.

0:24:51.920 --> 0:24:54.600
<v Speaker 2>I can't imagine being fueled by it. And that's the

0:24:54.640 --> 0:24:56.200
<v Speaker 2>difference between Amber and I.

0:24:56.200 --> 0:24:59.320
<v Speaker 1>I will write a song today, that's right, I'll write

0:24:59.320 --> 0:24:59.960
<v Speaker 1>a song today.

0:25:00.320 --> 0:25:06.040
<v Speaker 2>Lassie will all write a song today. She will.

0:25:07.280 --> 0:25:11.320
<v Speaker 1>Hey, everyone, you know what song we just wrote. It's

0:25:11.359 --> 0:25:14.960
<v Speaker 1>time for us to go to the break. Hey, everybody,

0:25:15.160 --> 0:25:18.720
<v Speaker 1>hold on to you. But wow, we'll be right back

0:25:18.720 --> 0:25:20.600
<v Speaker 1>with more of the Ember and Lacy Lacy and Amber show.

0:25:20.760 --> 0:25:21.800
<v Speaker 2>So stick around or else.

0:25:29.400 --> 0:25:31.600
<v Speaker 1>Hey, everybody, we're back with more of the Embra and Lacy,

0:25:31.680 --> 0:25:33.120
<v Speaker 1>Lacy and Amber Show.

0:25:33.440 --> 0:25:40.640
<v Speaker 2>We are going to hit you with the law. We're

0:25:40.720 --> 0:25:42.040
<v Speaker 2>taking an oath.

0:25:42.640 --> 0:25:45.440
<v Speaker 1>We're hands on the Bible, and we're about to testify

0:25:45.520 --> 0:25:49.280
<v Speaker 1>because it's time for her sister Cord Babbo.

0:25:49.160 --> 0:25:50.040
<v Speaker 2>It's sister Courd.

0:25:50.200 --> 0:25:54.679
<v Speaker 1>We read emails that were sent to us from you,

0:25:55.240 --> 0:25:58.760
<v Speaker 1>and then we come down hard pro or con with

0:25:58.880 --> 0:26:02.119
<v Speaker 1>our own verdicts. You wrote to us, You asked us

0:26:02.160 --> 0:26:05.440
<v Speaker 1>for help. You'll regret it. If you want help from us,

0:26:05.920 --> 0:26:10.359
<v Speaker 1>email us at Amberandlacyadvice at gmail dot com. If you

0:26:10.640 --> 0:26:14.320
<v Speaker 1>don't want advice from us, email us at Amber and

0:26:14.400 --> 0:26:17.679
<v Speaker 1>Lacyadvice at gmail dot com. We'd love to hear from you.

0:26:18.119 --> 0:26:23.200
<v Speaker 1>It's time for Sister Courd email number one. Okay, this

0:26:23.280 --> 0:26:27.600
<v Speaker 1>one says, how do you eat fruit at the bottom

0:26:27.680 --> 0:26:31.000
<v Speaker 1>of a cocktail. I'm currently on vacation and I keeping

0:26:31.080 --> 0:26:34.960
<v Speaker 1>served delicious tropical cocktails, but they come with pineapple or

0:26:35.000 --> 0:26:37.000
<v Speaker 1>strawberries or something in the glass.

0:26:37.160 --> 0:26:37.640
<v Speaker 2>So when I.

0:26:37.640 --> 0:26:39.960
<v Speaker 1>Drink it, there's fruit at the bottom. Do you just

0:26:40.000 --> 0:26:42.560
<v Speaker 1>throw the fruit away? Try to use your straw or

0:26:42.600 --> 0:26:46.880
<v Speaker 1>your finger to dig it out. Suggestions are super appreciated here.

0:26:47.720 --> 0:26:49.840
<v Speaker 1>I know exactly what Lacy is going to say, so

0:26:50.119 --> 0:26:54.040
<v Speaker 1>let me go first. I think you can just tip

0:26:54.119 --> 0:26:57.240
<v Speaker 1>the glass up to your mouth and then the fruit

0:26:57.280 --> 0:27:00.280
<v Speaker 1>will slide into your mouth. If not, you got to

0:27:00.320 --> 0:27:03.760
<v Speaker 1>stab it with a straw and then sloop it into

0:27:03.840 --> 0:27:07.080
<v Speaker 1>your mouth. If not, you have to leave it alone.

0:27:07.720 --> 0:27:10.960
<v Speaker 1>Do not, I repeat, do not be sticking your little

0:27:10.960 --> 0:27:14.080
<v Speaker 1>fingers in there, having everybody watch you root around in

0:27:14.119 --> 0:27:16.000
<v Speaker 1>the bottom of your your fill out of you have

0:27:16.080 --> 0:27:19.280
<v Speaker 1>to leave there there. You cannot have that pineapple. That

0:27:19.359 --> 0:27:23.960
<v Speaker 1>is not for you. Okay, And what I would do

0:27:24.320 --> 0:27:27.560
<v Speaker 1>is yell, really loudly, does anybody have a trash can

0:27:27.800 --> 0:27:31.080
<v Speaker 1>and throw that cup into the trash. I hate fruit.

0:27:31.480 --> 0:27:34.240
<v Speaker 1>You're asking the wrong person. Here hate it fruits to.

0:27:34.280 --> 0:27:39.639
<v Speaker 2>Say he hates fruit like male men hate dogs. She

0:27:39.880 --> 0:27:40.480
<v Speaker 2>hates it.

0:27:40.920 --> 0:27:43.080
<v Speaker 1>The fruit has done nothing to her, but try to

0:27:43.080 --> 0:27:45.640
<v Speaker 1>be her friend. She don't want it. Do not put

0:27:45.640 --> 0:27:48.000
<v Speaker 1>it in my drink. Don't even don't do that. No,

0:27:48.200 --> 0:27:51.600
<v Speaker 1>she doesn't, truly doesn't. And I think so she can

0:27:51.640 --> 0:27:53.200
<v Speaker 1>certainly this or that she can't.

0:27:53.359 --> 0:27:56.119
<v Speaker 2>I just want to cleaned out a glass.

0:27:56.160 --> 0:27:58.440
<v Speaker 1>I gave my dad some of his homemade lemonade that

0:27:58.560 --> 0:28:01.439
<v Speaker 1>had you know, lemonade bits, and when I went to

0:28:01.480 --> 0:28:04.040
<v Speaker 1>clean out the glass, a little bit of the pulp

0:28:04.320 --> 0:28:05.240
<v Speaker 1>got on my arm.

0:28:05.720 --> 0:28:08.199
<v Speaker 2>It might as well have been vomit. I was like,

0:28:08.200 --> 0:28:08.680
<v Speaker 2>oh God.

0:28:10.359 --> 0:28:12.640
<v Speaker 1>Then I thought it's just fruit. Lacy calmed out, But yeah,

0:28:12.720 --> 0:28:13.920
<v Speaker 1>that's how I feel about fruit.

0:28:13.920 --> 0:28:15.240
<v Speaker 2>It touched me.

0:28:15.320 --> 0:28:18.359
<v Speaker 1>Guys, she really hates fruit, and I'm sorry about that.

0:28:18.480 --> 0:28:22.280
<v Speaker 1>Everyone that she's missing out one of the great joys

0:28:22.320 --> 0:28:22.880
<v Speaker 1>of life.

0:28:23.080 --> 0:28:23.399
<v Speaker 2>Fruit.

0:28:24.080 --> 0:28:27.080
<v Speaker 1>Okay, whatever would you like to read the next one?

0:28:27.160 --> 0:28:31.000
<v Speaker 1>Or shall I here is? Oh wait, so then that

0:28:31.040 --> 0:28:36.880
<v Speaker 1>person is, oh innocent, You're guilty to me, you shouldn't

0:28:36.960 --> 0:28:42.080
<v Speaker 1>mean that stuff. But okay, sister, Court scenario number two.

0:28:42.440 --> 0:28:45.120
<v Speaker 1>Am I being petty or am I justified? When I

0:28:45.160 --> 0:28:47.240
<v Speaker 1>was in college, I dated a guy who would eventually

0:28:47.280 --> 0:28:50.040
<v Speaker 1>be my husband. We moved in together pretty quickly. We

0:28:50.040 --> 0:28:52.360
<v Speaker 1>were both in our mid twenties when I brought him

0:28:52.360 --> 0:28:54.040
<v Speaker 1>to meet my parents over the holidays.

0:28:54.440 --> 0:28:55.560
<v Speaker 2>Even if we lived.

0:28:55.400 --> 0:28:58.280
<v Speaker 1>Together, my mom insisted we sleep in separate rooms because

0:28:58.280 --> 0:29:01.240
<v Speaker 1>we weren't married at the time. My parents are divorced

0:29:01.240 --> 0:29:03.200
<v Speaker 1>and my mom is seeing a new guy. She's going

0:29:03.280 --> 0:29:06.000
<v Speaker 1>to be staying with my husband and I and she'll

0:29:06.040 --> 0:29:08.680
<v Speaker 1>be bringing her new boyfriend. I'm thinking about making them

0:29:08.720 --> 0:29:11.080
<v Speaker 1>sleep in separate rooms since they aren't married yet. Is

0:29:11.120 --> 0:29:13.800
<v Speaker 1>that going too far my pettiness or am I justified

0:29:13.800 --> 0:29:17.240
<v Speaker 1>in this? Okay, you're going too far. That's your mama.

0:29:17.280 --> 0:29:18.959
<v Speaker 1>She can do whatever the hell she want to do.

0:29:19.000 --> 0:29:20.920
<v Speaker 1>She can come in there with two men. Mind your

0:29:20.960 --> 0:29:23.200
<v Speaker 1>own Business's your mom. Your mom makes all the rules.

0:29:23.200 --> 0:29:26.200
<v Speaker 1>I go into my daughter's house, you better not. You

0:29:26.200 --> 0:29:28.720
<v Speaker 1>gotta say nothing to me. That's the joy of being

0:29:28.760 --> 0:29:30.440
<v Speaker 1>a parent. Now you can do that to your kids.

0:29:30.480 --> 0:29:32.960
<v Speaker 1>It doesn't go reverse, it doesn't go in reverse. You

0:29:32.960 --> 0:29:37.000
<v Speaker 1>ain't telling me nothing, nothing, nada. Oh now I'm bringing

0:29:37.000 --> 0:29:38.959
<v Speaker 1>three men. Who's that guy that on my DMS? I'm

0:29:38.960 --> 0:29:41.320
<v Speaker 1>bringing three No, you can't tell me what to do.

0:29:41.360 --> 0:29:44.719
<v Speaker 1>I'm the adult. I will always be. There's a hierarchy

0:29:44.800 --> 0:29:46.760
<v Speaker 1>to this, so you can't I know you want. You

0:29:46.800 --> 0:29:48.640
<v Speaker 1>can bring it up, bring it up at dinner. Oh,

0:29:48.720 --> 0:29:50.240
<v Speaker 1>y'all ain't married yet. Did you sleep in the same

0:29:50.280 --> 0:29:52.160
<v Speaker 1>bed last night? You can bring that up. You can

0:29:52.160 --> 0:29:54.360
<v Speaker 1>be petty, but you can't tell them not to sleep

0:29:54.400 --> 0:29:56.560
<v Speaker 1>in the same bed. That's why you asking us. I

0:29:56.600 --> 0:30:00.400
<v Speaker 1>think when they get there, you tell them to sleep

0:30:00.440 --> 0:30:03.640
<v Speaker 1>in separate beds, and then you see how far it goes,

0:30:04.600 --> 0:30:06.640
<v Speaker 1>and then you go, I'm just kidding. But you remember

0:30:06.680 --> 0:30:08.680
<v Speaker 1>when you did this to me? Now do you think

0:30:08.720 --> 0:30:10.000
<v Speaker 1>you were being unreasonable?

0:30:10.400 --> 0:30:11.000
<v Speaker 2>Well you were.

0:30:11.880 --> 0:30:14.160
<v Speaker 1>Luckily in my house we're a little more open minded

0:30:14.240 --> 0:30:17.200
<v Speaker 1>than that. So thank goodness, who knows where I got

0:30:17.200 --> 0:30:18.360
<v Speaker 1>this from, because it wasn't you.

0:30:19.040 --> 0:30:21.520
<v Speaker 2>No, that's petty. Now, that's petty.

0:30:21.600 --> 0:30:23.800
<v Speaker 1>And then that's just randomly in the middle of the

0:30:23.840 --> 0:30:32.200
<v Speaker 1>night busting everyone with a flashlight. Kick in fact, be

0:30:32.320 --> 0:30:34.400
<v Speaker 1>ready to buy a new door, because I really appreciate

0:30:34.400 --> 0:30:37.080
<v Speaker 1>the kicking down of the door. Kick it down, kick

0:30:37.080 --> 0:30:38.760
<v Speaker 1>it out. I want the splinters on the side to

0:30:38.800 --> 0:30:42.400
<v Speaker 1>shoot out what you're doing. They get a door, you

0:30:42.440 --> 0:30:43.960
<v Speaker 1>know that's.

0:30:43.840 --> 0:30:44.320
<v Speaker 2>Up to you.

0:30:44.880 --> 0:30:47.320
<v Speaker 1>Not everybody gets to have a room with a door

0:30:47.360 --> 0:30:50.840
<v Speaker 1>on it. You can make it real uncomfortable for him

0:30:50.840 --> 0:30:53.239
<v Speaker 1>because they did do you wrong. So I say, go

0:30:53.280 --> 0:30:55.000
<v Speaker 1>for it. Go for it, that's right.

0:30:55.320 --> 0:30:57.240
<v Speaker 2>Ah yeah yeah yeah, yea am right? Do I agree

0:30:57.240 --> 0:31:00.560
<v Speaker 2>with you? So they are guilty and she is innocent,

0:31:01.040 --> 0:31:01.480
<v Speaker 2>that's right?

0:31:02.240 --> 0:31:02.600
<v Speaker 1>Sorry?

0:31:04.640 --> 0:31:06.200
<v Speaker 2>Okay this one.

0:31:07.960 --> 0:31:10.960
<v Speaker 1>How do you feel about not pitching in to a

0:31:11.000 --> 0:31:14.120
<v Speaker 1>group birthday gift at work? I'm in an office and

0:31:14.160 --> 0:31:17.400
<v Speaker 1>whenever it's someone's birthday, someone always comes around asking for

0:31:17.480 --> 0:31:19.760
<v Speaker 1>some cash to help pay for a small gift and

0:31:19.800 --> 0:31:23.280
<v Speaker 1>a cake or something. Not to sound like an asshole,

0:31:23.480 --> 0:31:26.480
<v Speaker 1>but I don't really care enough to participate. I like

0:31:26.560 --> 0:31:29.880
<v Speaker 1>my coworkers well enough, but I don't really feel the

0:31:30.000 --> 0:31:32.480
<v Speaker 1>need to bond like that. Would it be bad if

0:31:32.520 --> 0:31:35.480
<v Speaker 1>I said no next time they asked me for cash

0:31:35.720 --> 0:31:40.840
<v Speaker 1>on the next birthday? Okay, this and I mean this.

0:31:41.360 --> 0:31:45.600
<v Speaker 1>Please do not isolate this answer. Don't put it out

0:31:45.800 --> 0:31:49.080
<v Speaker 1>on social media. It is the worst thing I have

0:31:49.200 --> 0:31:54.400
<v Speaker 1>ever said in my life. People who insist on running

0:31:54.400 --> 0:31:58.520
<v Speaker 1>around and getting the cake and getting the present and

0:31:58.560 --> 0:32:02.760
<v Speaker 1>making everybody sign the card and this and that and

0:32:02.760 --> 0:32:03.680
<v Speaker 1>that and the other.

0:32:04.440 --> 0:32:07.040
<v Speaker 2>Do not have enough stuff going on in their lives.

0:32:07.800 --> 0:32:08.480
<v Speaker 2>They just don't.

0:32:08.800 --> 0:32:11.840
<v Speaker 1>I mean, look, I think everything in my life serves

0:32:11.840 --> 0:32:15.959
<v Speaker 1>a purpose, and I do not think that birthday and

0:32:16.320 --> 0:32:20.440
<v Speaker 1>job overlap in any way whatsoever. I don't need it.

0:32:20.960 --> 0:32:24.520
<v Speaker 1>Every office should do what we do here every month.

0:32:24.800 --> 0:32:27.760
<v Speaker 1>The first of the month, we go happy birthday everyone

0:32:27.840 --> 0:32:30.840
<v Speaker 1>in June, and then we put up a little sign

0:32:30.920 --> 0:32:34.600
<v Speaker 1>that says everyone's name, and we put a pie in

0:32:34.720 --> 0:32:35.360
<v Speaker 1>the kitchen.

0:32:35.600 --> 0:32:36.000
<v Speaker 2>That's it.

0:32:36.280 --> 0:32:39.240
<v Speaker 1>That's what you get. Now, that's what you're doing. That's fine,

0:32:39.440 --> 0:32:43.680
<v Speaker 1>but don't be don't And lady, lady, if you're running

0:32:43.680 --> 0:32:47.360
<v Speaker 1>around making everybody sign the card, making everybody give you

0:32:47.440 --> 0:32:49.920
<v Speaker 1>five dollars so you can get somebody some mess they

0:32:49.920 --> 0:32:54.440
<v Speaker 1>don't want. Girl, read a novel, don't do that. Don't

0:32:54.440 --> 0:32:57.280
<v Speaker 1>do that, don't busy yourself. And then I got it.

0:32:57.280 --> 0:32:59.200
<v Speaker 1>It's my problem. You ain't got enough to do in

0:32:59.240 --> 0:32:59.600
<v Speaker 1>your life.

0:32:59.600 --> 0:33:00.240
<v Speaker 2>Cut that out out.

0:33:00.600 --> 0:33:04.080
<v Speaker 1>So in that way, I'm the coldest motherfucker on earth.

0:33:04.160 --> 0:33:05.640
<v Speaker 1>I do not like birthday stuff.

0:33:05.720 --> 0:33:08.080
<v Speaker 2>I don't like it. Yes, you know what.

0:33:08.520 --> 0:33:11.680
<v Speaker 1>I was not on board with a thing you were

0:33:11.720 --> 0:33:15.560
<v Speaker 1>saying at first, But then when you said put everybody's

0:33:15.640 --> 0:33:16.880
<v Speaker 1>name at the first of the month.

0:33:17.560 --> 0:33:18.040
<v Speaker 2>I love it.

0:33:18.160 --> 0:33:21.960
<v Speaker 1>I love it because we all have given money to Steve.

0:33:22.360 --> 0:33:26.959
<v Speaker 1>Nobody likes Steve. I can't stand him. Oh and you

0:33:27.000 --> 0:33:30.080
<v Speaker 1>asked for ten dollars. No, I don't want to spend

0:33:30.080 --> 0:33:34.960
<v Speaker 1>ten dollars on Steve to make his day better. Oh,

0:33:35.000 --> 0:33:38.080
<v Speaker 1>Steve voted to Trump. I don't like Steve. Now you're

0:33:38.120 --> 0:33:40.640
<v Speaker 1>going to have someone in here and they're gonna like push,

0:33:40.960 --> 0:33:42.480
<v Speaker 1>like slap his food out of his hand.

0:33:42.960 --> 0:33:51.240
<v Speaker 2>You got my tender. We're hiring someone to harass Steve. Okay,

0:33:51.240 --> 0:33:51.920
<v Speaker 2>how much right?

0:33:52.680 --> 0:33:57.240
<v Speaker 1>No I have I have contributed a billion dollars to

0:33:57.400 --> 0:34:00.440
<v Speaker 1>the group birthdays at work. I mean yeah, And then

0:34:00.480 --> 0:34:01.440
<v Speaker 1>you've got to run around.

0:34:01.480 --> 0:34:03.200
<v Speaker 2>You've got to hide the cart. Oh they're coming, hide

0:34:03.240 --> 0:34:03.600
<v Speaker 2>the cart.

0:34:03.800 --> 0:34:03.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh.

0:34:04.040 --> 0:34:05.720
<v Speaker 2>Then you got to get a cake and a gift.

0:34:06.120 --> 0:34:06.840
<v Speaker 2>It's a lot.

0:34:07.040 --> 0:34:09.319
<v Speaker 1>It was a lot all the time. All the time,

0:34:09.320 --> 0:34:10.560
<v Speaker 1>it was a cake and a gift, a cake and

0:34:10.600 --> 0:34:13.000
<v Speaker 1>a gift. I just don't think that's what work is for.

0:34:13.239 --> 0:34:18.399
<v Speaker 1>And if you think everyone needs a morale boost.

0:34:18.040 --> 0:34:18.919
<v Speaker 2>You're right they do.

0:34:19.480 --> 0:34:24.160
<v Speaker 1>Then fucking Taco Tuesday or some shit some goofy goofy

0:34:24.360 --> 0:34:26.759
<v Speaker 1>goofy hat day and not even Taco Tuesday, because I

0:34:26.760 --> 0:34:30.440
<v Speaker 1>don't want people's money. Casual Wednesday dressed like a twin day,

0:34:31.160 --> 0:34:34.239
<v Speaker 1>you know, silly hair day, bad shit. Do Spirit Week,

0:34:34.640 --> 0:34:37.680
<v Speaker 1>but do it at work, but don't be taking people's money.

0:34:37.840 --> 0:34:39.040
<v Speaker 1>Don't take people's money.

0:34:39.080 --> 0:34:39.640
<v Speaker 2>I don't like that.

0:34:40.360 --> 0:34:43.520
<v Speaker 1>Because Happy Birthday is free and birthdays are for children.

0:34:43.719 --> 0:34:47.399
<v Speaker 2>Amber does not care about the birthdays.

0:34:47.880 --> 0:34:50.719
<v Speaker 1>Meanwhile, I'm trying to go listen to some smooth jazz

0:34:50.760 --> 0:34:54.279
<v Speaker 1>on my birthday, and I am let's turn this all

0:34:54.320 --> 0:34:57.959
<v Speaker 1>about me, Okay. I found out where Chad Stoner chat

0:34:58.000 --> 0:35:00.320
<v Speaker 1>Stoner is gonna make. You can google chat Stoner everybody.

0:35:00.320 --> 0:35:05.200
<v Speaker 1>He's an amazing jazz musician and he mm mmmmm mmm mmmm.

0:35:05.640 --> 0:35:07.239
<v Speaker 1>I went and listened to him last week and it

0:35:07.360 --> 0:35:10.520
<v Speaker 1>was great. He will play some R and B, just

0:35:10.840 --> 0:35:13.160
<v Speaker 1>instrumental R and B, which Amber and I have told

0:35:13.160 --> 0:35:14.080
<v Speaker 1>you a million times.

0:35:14.200 --> 0:35:16.799
<v Speaker 2>Love it. I mean he was playing the Angelo Digelo.

0:35:17.560 --> 0:35:20.080
<v Speaker 1>Now you think you're not gonna love you would if

0:35:20.120 --> 0:35:22.640
<v Speaker 1>you heard it, you would love it. And Chad Stoner,

0:35:22.760 --> 0:35:24.839
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if Amber knows this. I know him

0:35:25.160 --> 0:35:29.960
<v Speaker 1>from church. He used to be praise and worship guy

0:35:30.080 --> 0:35:31.840
<v Speaker 1>that used to come. I used to work at a

0:35:31.960 --> 0:35:36.800
<v Speaker 1>place for wayward girls, and he would come there on

0:35:36.920 --> 0:35:39.960
<v Speaker 1>Sundays and do church. He would do the little praise

0:35:40.000 --> 0:35:43.800
<v Speaker 1>and worship, and Chad Stoner looks really good. So I

0:35:43.880 --> 0:35:46.000
<v Speaker 1>kept wondering, well, all these little girls going to church.

0:35:46.000 --> 0:35:46.600
<v Speaker 2>What's going on.

0:35:46.760 --> 0:35:48.120
<v Speaker 1>They were like, oh, we got to go to church,

0:35:48.160 --> 0:35:50.920
<v Speaker 1>full face of makeup going, And then I went, Okay,

0:35:51.400 --> 0:35:54.479
<v Speaker 1>the man looks very nice. But he's a very good

0:35:54.800 --> 0:35:58.200
<v Speaker 1>saxophone saxophone player. He's great, He's wonderful. And that's how

0:35:58.200 --> 0:36:00.719
<v Speaker 1>I know. I've known him for twenty plus years, so

0:36:01.239 --> 0:36:03.200
<v Speaker 1>because I've known him from church. When I went to

0:36:03.320 --> 0:36:05.440
<v Speaker 1>the concert, it wasn't really a concert, but I went

0:36:05.480 --> 0:36:08.080
<v Speaker 1>to see him play last week. He goes, now, even

0:36:08.120 --> 0:36:10.279
<v Speaker 1>though we're in a bar, I'm about to play a

0:36:10.360 --> 0:36:12.840
<v Speaker 1>song that shouldn't be here. And he played like a

0:36:14.080 --> 0:36:16.439
<v Speaker 1>sweet R and B version of Wade in the Water,

0:36:16.680 --> 0:36:18.319
<v Speaker 1>and you know, I had to listen.

0:36:18.400 --> 0:36:19.799
<v Speaker 2>It was great. I had to yell out let him

0:36:19.920 --> 0:36:23.160
<v Speaker 2>use you, baby, let me abuse you.

0:36:23.920 --> 0:36:24.520
<v Speaker 1>But it was good.

0:36:26.360 --> 0:36:27.640
<v Speaker 2>You didn't think it was wrong there.

0:36:28.239 --> 0:36:31.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I love it, love it, love it. And I've

0:36:31.160 --> 0:36:33.400
<v Speaker 1>never seen him do that, but he does some. He

0:36:33.520 --> 0:36:37.560
<v Speaker 1>does all your favorites Anita Baker, Luther, everybody, Lacy. I

0:36:37.600 --> 0:36:38.680
<v Speaker 1>don't know how we got on that.

0:36:38.800 --> 0:36:41.879
<v Speaker 2>We got to go to middle aged lady fest. Why

0:36:42.000 --> 0:36:45.440
<v Speaker 2>isn't that that chase go to. We're gonna just slow.

0:36:45.960 --> 0:36:49.520
<v Speaker 2>There's not too many of us. There's no stairs. It's

0:36:49.560 --> 0:36:51.280
<v Speaker 2>not gonna be no stairs in middle aged.

0:36:51.120 --> 0:36:55.200
<v Speaker 1>Ladies' flat somehow. It's just everywhere you go is downhill.

0:37:01.560 --> 0:37:05.160
<v Speaker 1>Lady yay?

0:37:05.560 --> 0:37:07.840
<v Speaker 2>Where is this event at? Always down that hill? Okay,

0:37:07.960 --> 0:37:15.160
<v Speaker 2>thank you? Now get oh down another you got me?

0:37:16.120 --> 0:37:18.680
<v Speaker 2>You can have my eight dollars. It costs eight dollars.

0:37:19.120 --> 0:37:22.840
<v Speaker 2>Oh oh, I'm not going eight dollars. I'm telling you.

0:37:25.480 --> 0:37:28.800
<v Speaker 1>This might not be the best lad This might not

0:37:28.920 --> 0:37:32.160
<v Speaker 1>be the middle the best middle aged lady beest ambers

0:37:33.440 --> 0:37:38.000
<v Speaker 1>we have okay, all right, well, hey everyone, thanks for

0:37:38.480 --> 0:37:41.320
<v Speaker 1>tuning in today. We laughed, we loved, we shared. We

0:37:41.520 --> 0:37:45.200
<v Speaker 1>want to leave you today with this thought. I'm so scared,

0:37:46.160 --> 0:37:51.120
<v Speaker 1>just kidding, that is very real thought, though, America help you.

0:37:52.120 --> 0:37:55.360
<v Speaker 1>Uh hey, we love you and have fun and goodbye.

0:37:55.880 --> 0:37:59.560
<v Speaker 1>Oh Lacy, yes, how can people find you on social media?

0:38:00.080 --> 0:38:03.799
<v Speaker 1>They can find me at Lacy lamar one though. I mean,

0:38:03.840 --> 0:38:06.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm not gonna lie I did just join What did

0:38:06.640 --> 0:38:06.920
<v Speaker 1>I join?

0:38:07.040 --> 0:38:08.040
<v Speaker 2>Blue Sky? Blue Sky?

0:38:08.160 --> 0:38:09.680
<v Speaker 1>And I don't know what I am on there. When

0:38:09.680 --> 0:38:11.800
<v Speaker 1>I find out, I'll come back next time, guys and

0:38:11.960 --> 0:38:13.640
<v Speaker 1>tell you. I think it's Lacy Lamar.

0:38:13.920 --> 0:38:16.840
<v Speaker 2>Oh, good job. Why doesn't someone look and you call me?

0:38:17.160 --> 0:38:21.759
<v Speaker 2>My number is and I'm Amber.

0:38:21.640 --> 0:38:24.440
<v Speaker 1>Ruffin across all socials, I assume, well, we've been The

0:38:24.520 --> 0:38:26.040
<v Speaker 1>Amber and Lacy, Lacy and Amber Show.

0:38:26.080 --> 0:38:32.680
<v Speaker 2>We love it very much. Good night and goodbye, good.

0:38:32.280 --> 0:38:41.320
<v Speaker 1>Night and my bye. The Amber and Lacy, Lacy and

0:38:41.360 --> 0:38:44.120
<v Speaker 1>Amber Show is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money

0:38:44.160 --> 0:38:48.120
<v Speaker 1>Players and iHeartRadio podcast. It's created and hosted by Amber

0:38:48.160 --> 0:38:51.239
<v Speaker 1>Ruffin and Lacy Lamar. Executive produced by Noah Avlar and

0:38:51.400 --> 0:38:54.960
<v Speaker 1>Hans Sonni, super produced by Becca Ramos. Because She's a

0:38:55.120 --> 0:38:58.440
<v Speaker 1>Superhero co produced by Victor Wright, Edited and mixed by

0:38:58.560 --> 0:38:59.120
<v Speaker 1>Ty Herd.

0:38:59.320 --> 0:39:00.840
<v Speaker 2>Music by David Schmoll.