Speaker 1: Tampon Rock is a production of Anthem Entertainment and I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio and Tampon. We don't want to Let's do
Speaker 1: this more fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's go see. Oh
Speaker 1: huh yeah. Welcome to Tampon Rock, where your narrators and
Speaker 1: resident lesbians or resbians if you will, and we're going
Speaker 1: to tell you a story about two friends who Desia
Speaker 1: twenties something we're not sure when she was born, and Chloe,
Speaker 1: also twenty thought something. Don't worry about it, but here's
Speaker 1: what you need to know. They're in a band called
Speaker 1: The Goal, also known as the Greatest of All Lesbians,
Speaker 1: and our story picks up with Chloe and Asia in
Speaker 1: their apartment listening to a demo of their song Therapy.
Speaker 1: Well one is listening right here it goes and the
Speaker 1: one and the two. Maybe we should should baby, should
Speaker 1: get baby? We should baby, I should get baby? Everything?
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? How can you even hear that
Speaker 1: time hasn't two working speakers? Dude? I know the other day,
Speaker 1: I guess I was peek too loudly and he started yelling, Yes,
Speaker 1: the rent is worth it? Okay, should we change this
Speaker 1: local part? Yeah sounds good? Okay, So this lady just responded,
Speaker 1: do you want to pick up that couch from her tomorrow?
Speaker 1: Maybe it's my voice? Do I sound pitchy? Yeah? Okay,
Speaker 1: well I'll tell her we'll get it tomorrow. Wait what
Speaker 1: when you? Please put your phone in silent um? You
Speaker 1: know my New Year's resolution was to be at least
Speaker 1: ten feet away from my phone at all times. But
Speaker 1: I guess I'll break that for you, even though I
Speaker 1: broke it yesterday and like five minutes ago. Will you
Speaker 1: check who it is? Fine? Oh, it's a tender message.
Speaker 1: It says, hey, Boo, can't wait to see you tonight.
Speaker 1: Question mark right question mark? Is that your question mark?
Speaker 1: Or is that her question mark? Her question mark? I'm confused.
Speaker 1: I thought we confirmed. Do you think it's a typo?
Speaker 1: Or is it that she's unsure that she'll see me tonight? Chloe,
Speaker 1: as the great Edgar Allan Poe once said, leave half
Speaker 1: of what you see and nothing of what you hear.
Speaker 1: Did you hear something about her that's not all right? Well,
Speaker 1: as long as she's not a Leo. Do you remember
Speaker 1: the last time I dated a Leo? Oh? My god, Jessica,
Speaker 1: she ruined Leo's for all of us, even Leo DiCaprio.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, Desia, what are you wearing? You mean?
Speaker 1: Who am I wearing? No? No, no, okay, really, look
Speaker 1: I love this whole stuff. Jet Deja b. Anthony takes
Speaker 1: on Washington. Look, but you know it's not a costume party, right,
Speaker 1: as a black woman, I resent that comment. Susan B.
Speaker 1: Anthony was definitely a racist. Oh it's okay, it's not
Speaker 1: your fault. It's the public school system and America in
Speaker 1: the world. M anyway, I'm only wearing this because I
Speaker 1: have to work that. You already knew that. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I forgot. I forgot. Oh I'm glad you're coming, by
Speaker 1: the way, No, seriously, I am. You know I can't
Speaker 1: go to ship on my own. I don't like to
Speaker 1: walk in the door by myself. I know you're looking
Speaker 1: to have me. I love you. Uh. Now, they're gonna
Speaker 1: be ready to go in like fifteen I'm ready to
Speaker 1: go now. Okay, First, here's my question. Should I wear
Speaker 1: this moother boost? I don't know you're going for a
Speaker 1: little nos X gay or b d s um circuit
Speaker 1: party leather daddy gay, because either way you look at
Speaker 1: pretty gay. Ga ga ga ga gake gake ga ga
Speaker 1: ga ga ga gake gay couple gates to party? Why
Speaker 1: you're the b to party ever? Bikes home from the
Speaker 1: party always exist? Yeah, please stop texting and biking. What
Speaker 1: happens to your resolution isn't addiction? I can't stop. You
Speaker 1: can die or where's get a ticket? Okay? If I die,
Speaker 1: you don't have to come to my funeral. Great, because
Speaker 1: I wasn't planning on it anyway. Rude everybody, We're so sorry.
Speaker 1: She's so sorry. You listen. I'm not an enabler, so
Speaker 1: your phone is mine. What will we I'm in the
Speaker 1: middle of the wing. Are you watching recaps of The Bachelor?
Speaker 1: Wash that show? Yeah? That's the point. How else will
Speaker 1: I know what happened? You are so strange. The roof
Speaker 1: is filled with lesbians. The roof is filled with lesbians.
Speaker 1: Butch butch, but but but but but much But Now
Speaker 1: that we're not in transit, I'm going to read your
Speaker 1: messages for you. Oh look, just say you again for
Speaker 1: the cap playing the piano. Okay, it's bad, I take it.
Speaker 1: Look at your processing information. Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: coming out. Yet it is like you have to come
Speaker 1: out of the closet. Well, I mean you don't have
Speaker 1: to come out of the closet just for this. Of
Speaker 1: you who haven't yet, we support you to. My name
Speaker 1: is B with two ease were tam pack spelled c
Speaker 1: kas for trademark and for different reason stuff. Follow us
Speaker 1: on Insta, Facebook, co star porn howbit of course LinkedIn.
Speaker 1: This next song is called Vagina. What do I feel like?
Speaker 1: This band is a little bit too on the nose,
Speaker 1: more like on the Ungeina. We could totally play a
Speaker 1: show like this, might didn't Becky book us, Well, I
Speaker 1: don't think it helps that you slept with my girlfriend
Speaker 1: in her own home while she was in the other
Speaker 1: room past her arm count wherever she works. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: I was polite. I asked her if she wanted to
Speaker 1: join She's that sorry, this never happens. This happened last
Speaker 1: week at Apple. Yeah, we don't use a computer. Okay,
Speaker 1: well maybe you should. Oh fuck, she says, she's here.
Speaker 1: What do you think that means? I think that means
Speaker 1: she's here? All right? Yeah? Cool, cool cool, that's yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah that's what I thought. How do I look? Well,
Speaker 1: you look like everyone else here? So yeah, gay, every gay,
Speaker 1: every gay Are you gonna be okay without me for
Speaker 1: a little bit? Cuse, do your thing, Gonna go to
Speaker 1: the bar and then probably just go to work, so
Speaker 1: I'll see you at home. Yes, I should be luck
Speaker 1: you don't need it, although she might right pleas to
Speaker 1: be with under his eye? Excuse me, just trying to
Speaker 1: get by you. Excuse me? Sorry? Behind you? Oops? Thanks? Hey?
Speaker 1: What can I get you? Whiskey? Ginger? Please? You got it?
Speaker 1: You know what? Making it double? That was fast? Do
Speaker 1: you want another? You know what? Sure? You're back? Sorry
Speaker 1: about that. This next one is called my heart has
Speaker 1: a heavy part just like the weird chunking part of
Speaker 1: my Oh my god, what you don't have weird chunky
Speaker 1: bits in your period? Blood? No? I mean well, I
Speaker 1: guess you're talking to me right, yes, you you're the
Speaker 1: only cute person without a snap back on here? And
Speaker 1: uh I still didn't answer my question. Wait what was
Speaker 1: the question again? Chunky bless? I'm just sucking with you.
Speaker 1: I mean, actually, like, if we're getting technical blood clots
Speaker 1: in your period, do say a lot about your cardiovascular system? Um? Anyway,
Speaker 1: I'm gina oh as in deja vu? First time? That right?
Speaker 1: Got him? Well, it's deja vu. I'm enjoying your outfit.
Speaker 1: It's so old. I know, don't I look good? For no? No,
Speaker 1: but I actually happy to go to work after this
Speaker 1: where out of graveyard? Wow, that's funny, you're funny. Does
Speaker 1: that intimidate you? No? I was just saying that, you're like,
Speaker 1: Oh no, I think I broke you, darn. I was
Speaker 1: having such a good time chatting with you. Hi, I'm
Speaker 1: stud good good. Um so so old lady. How much
Speaker 1: time do I have with you before you turn into
Speaker 1: a pumpkin? Oh? I'll do these weird midnight ghost tours
Speaker 1: at St. Mary's Cemetery. So so you have less than
Speaker 1: a hour Cinderella, Mike back to kill the shots? Please? Five? Fine,
Speaker 1: thanks Mike? Yeah, two for you too, for me and
Speaker 1: one for Mike. I don't know. Here's despicing up your
Speaker 1: ghost tour later. Oh god, that that is the human
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Guys, you're ready here more at
Speaker 1: Oh will you'll be more so? So? Oh my god, wow,
Speaker 1: you really don't like this band? Just like co text better.
Speaker 1: I'm on that. So, um, what do you do? I'm
Speaker 1: an artist, but I mostly model for nude art classes. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: so interested, I can sign you up for a class
Speaker 1: or Ashley, Ashley, excuse me, get the funk out of
Speaker 1: my way. Ashley, Here are you talking to me? No, bitch,
Speaker 1: I'm talking to that fine glass of Seltzer water standing
Speaker 1: next to you. If the Lacroix fits you, remember you
Speaker 1: told me if I was a lacroid plabor, i'd be
Speaker 1: the BlackBerry cucumber. That's actually I can't believe you stun
Speaker 1: me up last night, and now you want to pretend
Speaker 1: you don't even know who I am. How rude. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not Ashley, bitch,
Speaker 1: you're Ashley. See here's your profile pit whoa that is
Speaker 1: not me. She has dimples. I don't have dimples. There's
Speaker 1: obviously some mistaken this red wine in your face? Bit security,
Speaker 1: get her out here. Actually, this isn't over. Don't tell me.
Speaker 1: Holy sh it, Gina, I can't believe you just jumped
Speaker 1: in front of that line. Honestly, I can't believe I
Speaker 1: just did that either. I don't know how those Real
Speaker 1: Housewives girls do it. Ship. It looks like you're telling
Speaker 1: your costume ladies. I think the situation requires more tequilo. Yeah, yes,
Speaker 1: to Ashley, whoever she is, you really dodged a bullet.
Speaker 1: Really all right, we should try to go to the
Speaker 1: bathroom and get this out of your shirts, but most
Speaker 1: importantly out of your eyes. Here, I think I have
Speaker 1: a tied to get a stick? Where got it? Comharent me? No,
Speaker 1: I can do it. Just just come here, can you?
Speaker 1: Just hey? Can you? Okay, you can just stop scumming
Speaker 1: for like two seconds. I mean you smell so good. Okay,
Speaker 1: so yeah, you're a little drunk. Thanks, but you're you're
Speaker 1: standing on my foot my bed. It looks like this
Speaker 1: wine isn't coming out. Oh no, it's cool, it's cool.
Speaker 1: I'll just tell him it's my chunky periods. Very funny.
Speaker 1: Does that intimidate you? Okay? A lot dunk? Shit, it's midnight,
Speaker 1: I'm already late to work. I have to go. You're
Speaker 1: not gonna say goodbye? Just give me your phone. Fuck,
Speaker 1: I'm so drunk. It's okay, it's okay, I've got a
Speaker 1: drunk work chunk been care hold on, hold on, you
Speaker 1: have my number. You're gonna be late and a little
Speaker 1: a lot. It's drunk, but it's gonna be fine. Just deepress,
Speaker 1: breathe in with me for five and look, I'm sorry, Okay, fuck,
Speaker 1: I really have to go, but it was so nice
Speaker 1: to meet you. All right, good luck. Texts by bomm
Speaker 1: how aha loves Gena got Gina's so hot. I know
Speaker 1: you guys can't see her, but like your voice is
Speaker 1: so hot too. Oh fuck fuck mhm, Hey Days, it's Greg. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I'm just calling because we received a few complaints from
Speaker 1: your tour last night. If I'm not mistaken, you showed
Speaker 1: up twenty minutes late, um covering in what one of
Speaker 1: our customers seemed to think was blood, which would be fine.
Speaker 1: I commend the commitment to your rule, but I think
Speaker 1: the vomiting was taking the method acting a bit too far. Uh.
Speaker 1: And then I heard that you told a little girl
Speaker 1: and I quote you look like the dead girl in
Speaker 1: the sixth sense. Maybe you should be doing this ghost
Speaker 1: too or not me ha ha. Yeah. Well, her parents
Speaker 1: let us know that she's actually recovering from leukemia. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that's not a great look for us. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go ahead and let you go. Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: you have a good one, now bye bye. She gotta
Speaker 1: pay us bail since at least this is corfy that
Speaker 1: she's about to me. Yeah, m hmm, who peddled in
Speaker 1: your fiddle? Disa? Hello? You got air pods in? Oh
Speaker 1: my god? What? I'm just making coffee? Okay, Well, it's
Speaker 1: gonna be hard to make coffee if the pot is broken,
Speaker 1: so just let me take it. Yeah, yep, you just
Speaker 1: loosen woosen the death grip. Okay, love it, love it great.
Speaker 1: Now we're talking. What kind of coffee would you like?
Speaker 1: We only have one coffee and that's why we call
Speaker 1: you the genius. Seriously, Okay, I'm you don't sound fine.
Speaker 1: I got fired and I'm pretty sure it's because you
Speaker 1: dragged me to that stoopid party. Oh ship, wait you
Speaker 1: got fired? How? What what happened? I mean when? Why?
Speaker 1: Who do I have to kill? And knew I shouldn't
Speaker 1: have gone. I mean I'm in too much debt to
Speaker 1: just funk around with my job? Dude, I I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I can't believe that. Asia. You want to talk?
Speaker 1: Do need space? Space? Okay? Sounds good. I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: take a bath. Do you need to get in there
Speaker 1: before I take a space? Okay? Okay, hey mom, no,
Speaker 1: it's in the other cabinet, the other cabinet to your left.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I cannot stand your father right now?
Speaker 1: Hey mom, Mom, I can't see you. Okay, moves the camera.
Speaker 1: Is that better? No? Mom? Look at the square. You're
Speaker 1: in the square? No, the little the what about top square?
Speaker 1: Are you in the path? M okay, Well, we don't
Speaker 1: have to stay on the phone. No, no no, no, Mom,
Speaker 1: it's fine. What's up? Okay? Well, I was going to
Speaker 1: ask if you're planning on coming home on Thursday. It's
Speaker 1: your brother's third year. I told you that uncle Jim
Speaker 1: is going to be there with Brook. Do you remember
Speaker 1: Brooke Michaels, right, I think you went to school with her.
Speaker 1: Why are you doing air quotes? Is Brooke not her name?
Speaker 1: I'm just surprised he's dating someone who's basically your age.
Speaker 1: Oh Mom, Brooke Michaels is at least whatever. She just
Speaker 1: seems young. You know what, we don't have to get
Speaker 1: into it. It's not my problem. You're right, it's not
Speaker 1: your problem. Okay, okay, changing the subject. Okay, how's the
Speaker 1: lady homosexual world? Mom? Who says some sexual anymore? Ros? No,
Speaker 1: I can never keep up. Okay, we'll just say lesbian
Speaker 1: or queer? Are gay? Pan sexual? Demisexual, saphic sexual? Same sex? Bull?
Speaker 1: Carpet Vner? We slow down, let me get a pen.
Speaker 1: Can you repeat the last one for me? What was it?
Speaker 1: Carpet something? Mom, Do not write that down. Okay, I'm kidding,
Speaker 1: don't do it. Just watch The L Word on Netflix
Speaker 1: like everybody else. I've been watching so awful about that Dana.
Speaker 1: She was such a sweet girl. Mom. It's a scripted show.
Speaker 1: She didn't actually die. You know. By the way, did
Speaker 1: you follow up with the psychiatrist that Dr Brown recommended?
Speaker 1: Are you gonna switch? Are you gonna stick with the
Speaker 1: one at home? I don't know how you're gonna get
Speaker 1: your refills. You can always come home if you still
Speaker 1: want to work with Dr Brown. It's just that I'm worried.
Speaker 1: I'm not mom, Mom, I'm just I'm taking a bath. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to relax. So let's just we can talk
Speaker 1: about this later. Well, you know your brother, Mom, Please,
Speaker 1: I'm not Paul. Okay, I'm just being a mom. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know. I just no, no, no, fuck fuck oh no,
Speaker 1: ship oh motherfucker not again? Fuck? Oh my god? No
Speaker 1: you okay, fuck no let me end it. Love can't
Speaker 1: get to the door. I'm not coming it, okay, motherfucker.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, are you okay? What's going on? Chocko
Speaker 1: on one on my phone? I just dropped it in
Speaker 1: the bathtub. Oh my god, Chloe, I thought you were
Speaker 1: being stabbed. There was a stabbing. My phone was stabbed, right,
Speaker 1: because that's so much worse. All right, I'll get the
Speaker 1: right stats to the rights to you. Okay, but first,
Speaker 1: put this towel on. Your nipples are staring at me
Speaker 1: because they love you. Hey, listen, dude, I just want
Speaker 1: to say I'm so sorry again. I'm not your job.
Speaker 1: This whatever, I'm over it. It's not all your fault.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll sign up a postmas this something. It's all good,
Speaker 1: all right, band practice in five. We have to hurry.
Speaker 1: I think I saw the neighbor leave. And also, your
Speaker 1: nipples are still staring at me. Yeah, you're welcome. Hey, Hey,
Speaker 1: what those nipples away? Gets too hot to play when
Speaker 1: booms are in you're white. Wait, that's messed up, so
Speaker 1: fucked up. You know I put your lighters in the air.
Speaker 1: He put those nicks away? Gets hot? Boss? Hey, you
Speaker 1: know they weren't no they weren't. Hey, can you pull
Speaker 1: up the lyrics right quick? Oh ship, wait? Are you
Speaker 1: watching nastary cats? Are you freaking kidding me? After all
Speaker 1: that you gave me from me by your night? I
Speaker 1: heard some voices coming from your room this morning. Dude.
Speaker 1: That wasn't my date. That was a different girl. But anyway,
Speaker 1: my date. It was a total fucking disaster. What happened? Um?
Speaker 1: This chick was making fun of my dopefest and then
Speaker 1: she asked about my band. I mean, she asked about
Speaker 1: our band. So I played her a bit of our
Speaker 1: song Therapy. Do you know what she said to me?
Speaker 1: She said, Wow, I love this Teagan and Sarah song.
Speaker 1: What what she thought? Her song was a Tegan and
Speaker 1: Sarah song? Dude, definitely good thing right now? Where the goal?
Speaker 1: G oh a l the greatest of all lesbians? Not
Speaker 1: Tegan and Sarah. God, her song is a goddamn original.
Speaker 1: It sounds like you've been a little bit dramatic, But
Speaker 1: I mean, like, isn't he getting Sarah like one of
Speaker 1: the biggest influences on your our band? Yeah, but that's
Speaker 1: not the point. I mean she basically said we're un
Speaker 1: original and probably I won't ever make it. So let's
Speaker 1: just say we'll be sister friend serious. I don't know
Speaker 1: why we're doing this. I mean, if people are just
Speaker 1: gonna think we're teaking and Sarah rip off, what is
Speaker 1: the point. The point is is fun and we like
Speaker 1: to do it, you know what. Let's calm down, take
Speaker 1: a deep breath, five or three. So she literally asked
Speaker 1: if my vest was from Eddie Bauer, like, oh am,
Speaker 1: I allan degenerous. Okay, okay, okay, all right, enough about me?
Speaker 1: How is your name? I mean, besides getting fired? Sorry,
Speaker 1: I was arrested. Your night, it was interesting? Okay, I
Speaker 1: think I met someone? What yo, dude, you never meet anyone?
Speaker 1: I know. She gave me her number and I think
Speaker 1: I'm going to text her, but not until tomorrow because
Speaker 1: I want to give us some space. Whoa, whoa dude? Words?
Speaker 1: I never thought it here from your mouth, miss she
Speaker 1: who texted me? Yeah? Yeah, enough enough, okay, ready for practice? Yeah, captain, Okay,
Speaker 1: we don't have much time, so let's hit this cover
Speaker 1: before the neighbor comes back. All right, five six, seven, eight?
Speaker 1: So kiss me? Seriously. I thought I saw its Carly.
Speaker 1: Is he at the front door? I'll get it coming.
Speaker 1: We didn't even know you were daya, Gina. What are
Speaker 1: you doing here? Oh? Hey, Gina, I didn't know you
Speaker 1: two knew each other. Small little world. Uh sorry, So
Speaker 1: did I have a chance to leave my sweater here
Speaker 1: this morning? Oh yeah, hold on, let me go grab
Speaker 1: it for you. Thank you, Daja. You never texted me
Speaker 1: last night. Did you make it to your ghost tour
Speaker 1: or what? Yeah? Barely here you are a little okay
Speaker 1: think Hey, come on, baby, we're gonna miss the trailer. Okay,
Speaker 1: come here. Sorry man, I'm all right anyway, thank you? Oh,
Speaker 1: no problem. It was fun. You want to hang out
Speaker 1: in too, Sure, I'll see you both later. Yeah. Cool
Speaker 1: cool co co co cool cool. Wow. Gina is so great,
Speaker 1: isn't she. Yeah? I don't know. I don't really know where. Wow.
Speaker 1: That was so sad, so sad. Really, Yeah, I wonder
Speaker 1: what days was thinking. Yeah, can somebody pull up Deja's brains?
Speaker 1: Please turn that up? Please? Okay, maybe I suld get.
Speaker 1: Maybe we should get, Maybe I should Maybe we should
Speaker 1: baby should get, Maybe we should get. This episode was
Speaker 1: created and written by Alicia Brown, Sarah Almott, and Sophie Dinnicol,
Speaker 1: directed and composed by Sarah Almont. Music supervision by Alicia
Speaker 1: Brown and Sophie Dinnaicole. Executive produced by Brian Walland for
Speaker 1: Anthem Entertainment produced by Selena Razak. Audio by Tate Gregor
Speaker 1: and David Gulick Starry Ranita Lewis as Deja, Jule Spordsberg,
Speaker 1: Larry as Chloe, and Leo o'bernittis as Gina. Narrated by
Speaker 1: Alicia Brown and Sarah Almack's additional voices Sophie Dinnaicol and
Speaker 1: Tate Greger. For more podcasts for my Heart Radio, visit
Speaker 1: the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you
Speaker 1: get your podcasts