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Speaker 1: Welcome back to a very another episode of Alchemy This.

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Speaker 1: I'm your host, Kevin, Yes that Kevin Pop. What's that?

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Speaker 1: Could you define a way please? No, it's just that

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Speaker 1: I now feel as if I wasn't gone for six

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Speaker 1: weeks as I stepped seamlessly back into the driver's seat

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Speaker 1: of this extraordinarily fine tune racing machine called Alchemy This.

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Speaker 1: But I digress. Let's meet her. I'll come to show

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Speaker 1: me in no particular order. Let's quickly check in with

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Speaker 1: Craig Atkowski for his annual Thanksgiving plans report. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: do this every year. It's a it's a alchemy, this tradition.

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Speaker 1: I tell people where I'm what I'm doing for Thanksgiving,

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Speaker 1: where you'll be, Yeah, going over to uh Paula Tompkins house.

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Speaker 1: Very nice and uh we're gonna have turkey. Are you

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Speaker 1: sure you know? I don't know. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: what the Tompkins are serving. I feel like an assumption

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Speaker 1: has been made past their fancy. They are fancy, and

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Speaker 1: I love that about them. And now let's all Greek

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Speaker 1: Chris Avarado's super pie guy me please, and this is

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Speaker 1: prearly selfish, update us and me on your annual October

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Speaker 1: November unique pie consumption. Yep, I'm on pie ten. I

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Speaker 1: said a goal to eat ten pies. Full disclosure though, um,

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Speaker 1: only seven of those pies I've been Costco pies, as

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Speaker 1: I did buy one at Ralph's and two were made

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Speaker 1: for me. So that's not that's nice. That's nice. So

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie to the people, but I am

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Speaker 1: consuming my tempie. It is a Costco pie. Um. I

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Speaker 1: bought it yesterday. Um, I finished a third of it

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Speaker 1: last night and this morning, and of course, and was

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Speaker 1: the goal to get to ten pies before Thanksgiving when

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Speaker 1: the rest of the country will in fact be eating

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Speaker 1: a lot of That's right, that's right. You know, it's

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Speaker 1: been a weird little thing because nobody cares. But well,

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Speaker 1: I don't know about that. But here's the difference, or

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Speaker 1: here's here's what's nice. Is that I facking love pumpkin pie.

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Speaker 1: As it turns out, it's a really good thing. So

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Speaker 1: it doesn't it's fine, fine pumpkin pie as much as

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Speaker 1: you do. Um, and thank you for for posting as

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Speaker 1: well as uh Jessica posting. I've enjoyed the hell out

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Speaker 1: of it. Hey, there's a tool sing blood Brother from

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Speaker 1: another donor? How much did you love Captain Seawn? Um, well,

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Speaker 1: this is gonna be weird because I haven't been watching

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Speaker 1: the current season. And look out, it's James Heeney, Captain. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: I tol you were saying no, no, no, that's that's

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Speaker 1: well deserved. You don't do your homework sometimes you get

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Speaker 1: punished in class. I want to visit your school. Uh,

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Speaker 1: look out as James Heney Captain Jim, how do you

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Speaker 1: think you'd fair in federal prison? I've thought about it

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Speaker 1: quite a bit. I don't know. I feel like the

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Speaker 1: older I get, the less I picture my spelled myself

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Speaker 1: spending a serious amount of time in prison. I feel

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Speaker 1: like it was probably a lot more likely earlier. Um,

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Speaker 1: I'm not just talking lock up at county lock up.

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Speaker 1: We're talking federal pen is nicer that it's nicer than

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Speaker 1: being in county. You don't want to be. But I'm

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Speaker 1: not talking white collar. You're you're in the pen. Do

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Speaker 1: they let me do alchemy? This recordings on Wednesdays? Absolutely?

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Speaker 1: I think I could do it. Honestly, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to go, but I think I think I overcome the challenge.

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Speaker 1: I just signed you up for a nickel at Julia

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Speaker 1: Joliet uh and less but too many tiny screws for

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Speaker 1: you if you think at least it's Joey Greer, but

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Speaker 1: plug champions six years running. If while receiving a high calonic,

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Speaker 1: your lethargic practitioner Ken is eating a banana, What are

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Speaker 1: you thinking and what are you saying to him? That's interesting?

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Speaker 1: You You assume I know what's going on behind me.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. No, I'm laying face down. You don't

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Speaker 1: facedown for a high colonic. You can fair like you're

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Speaker 1: up in the stirrups. No, No, I like to be

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Speaker 1: like this is what people don't understand, and like I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna get a lot of comments online about gravity. You

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Speaker 1: want to sit down? That's wrong. The way the human

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Speaker 1: body is supposed to be is face down flying, because

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Speaker 1: that's actually how ergonomic we are. We're supposed to be

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Speaker 1: flying creature. That there's a book I've been reading and

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Speaker 1: co writing that talks about our origins apieces, and we

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Speaker 1: are actually supposed to be flying entities. I mean it's

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Speaker 1: it's in every single spiritual text if you think about it.

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Speaker 1: So they lay on your tummy face down and if

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Speaker 1: you're gonna do anything, just do that, all right, And

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Speaker 1: I promise you're gonna feel the medical benefits of that

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Speaker 1: almost immediately. Probiotics. Um it says made. Now let's do

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Speaker 1: a damn show. All of our scene suggestions I gather

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Speaker 1: from your listener emails or from our patron v I

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Speaker 1: p s. Who I have missed? All of you. Joey

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Speaker 1: I believe has done an exceptional job. James, maybe you've

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Speaker 1: helped out as well, all of your James, thank you?

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Speaker 1: Does anyone help you join? Uh? Yeah, but I've been

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Speaker 1: editing all the shorts guys, Yes you have. And I

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Speaker 1: think about it a lot. I'm like, should I shoot

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Speaker 1: Joey a text? Or will he reach out if he

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Speaker 1: needs me? So? Yeah, that counts for something. And I

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Speaker 1: feel Craig is also very consistent with his efforts. What's

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Speaker 1: going on? What are people doing? Craig comes over to

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Speaker 1: my house and then just stopped me from working, and

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Speaker 1: then he just like pitches me on different kind of

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Speaker 1: machines he wants to make but never actually does. So

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Speaker 1: that's like the majority of our hangout session. All of

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Speaker 1: this is to qualify should I use a scene suggestion?

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Speaker 1: That's already been done. It's because Cole and Joey have

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Speaker 1: somehow messed up the system because I was informed all

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Speaker 1: the yellow highlighted scenes have been done. Those not yellow highlighted. Jesus.

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Speaker 1: Oh sorry if I sleep a little bit. Uh. So,

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Speaker 1: your your your emails, and your patron support has been

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Speaker 1: phenomenal of these last six weeks while I've been out

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Speaker 1: of town. So thank you for all of that. If

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Speaker 1: you'd like to join our patron support group, head on

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Speaker 1: over to patron dot com slash alchemy. This all kind

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Speaker 1: of exclusive content, including standalone bonus scenes. Yeah, not available

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Speaker 1: to anybody else but you how about that? Uh? And

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Speaker 1: there's some other surprises in there too. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what you guys have discussed while it's gone, so I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna listen. Um if you, like I said, just

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Speaker 1: a scene via email, please write to the podcast at

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Speaker 1: our email at which is alcomy. This email at gmail

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Speaker 1: dot com. Um ce one comes from a patron v

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Speaker 1: I p Allison Callie. I think I've already messed that up.

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Speaker 1: Who wrote Enjoying the show is always a big thank

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Speaker 1: you for making all the hard work sounds so much

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Speaker 1: like so much fun for your consideration. No offense taken

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Speaker 1: if it's not good. Dean's Dog dissertation defense. Um, I

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Speaker 1: just thought he got put down before his time. Craig

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Speaker 1: can give us the definition of dissertation defense. I looked

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Speaker 1: it up, Greig, in case you're not familiar with the

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Speaker 1: term dissertation defense, are you. It's like it's like an

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Speaker 1: academic thing for your PhD. Right. It is the formal step,

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Speaker 1: the formal last step before Canada's confirmed or denied their

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Speaker 1: PhD title. Yeah, it's an oral example, final oral exam,

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Speaker 1: and so we're looking for Dean's dog, final oral exam

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Speaker 1: dissertation defense. Professor, it is now do you have office hours? Now?

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Speaker 1: I'm greeting papers right now, so if just give me

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Speaker 1: one second. This is bullshit, fucking idiots, Professor. I have

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Speaker 1: your coffee, thank you, putting on my desk. Double caf

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Speaker 1: decalf cavol couple. It's a hold on a second. What

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Speaker 1: did you say it was? But you always order every

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Speaker 1: day and I bring you the two fifteen. Okay, double

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Speaker 1: caffe decalf calf calf did you okay? Have you been

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Speaker 1: giving me caffeine? No? No, it's a double double decalf

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Speaker 1: calf cat. Okay, thank you. My heart was beginning to race.

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Speaker 1: I'm highly allergic to caffeine. Alright, this is a failure. Alright.

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Speaker 1: By the way, thank you, thank you. Are those new shoes, yes,

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Speaker 1: yeah they are. Don't know. I just finished up to

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Speaker 1: help you. Are you done with the compliments? Yeah, see tomorrow,

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Speaker 1: see you tomorrow. All right. Sorry, I don't traditionally have

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Speaker 1: office house. I I'm sorry to interrupt. I'm just look,

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Speaker 1: I'm not interrupting. I haven't even started. Go ahead, alright,

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Speaker 1: because I'm I am started. All right. Look, you know

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Speaker 1: I'm Coston here. I'm going back and fort how as

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Speaker 1: you you've worked here longer than me, Yeah, I have.

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Speaker 1: So I just know. I just want to let you know.

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure if it's you or a student here,

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Speaker 1: but someone's taking a huge fucking ship outside of your

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Speaker 1: door for the last semester and a half. So I

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Speaker 1: just want to give you a hits up on that.

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Speaker 1: All right? Uh? Okay, is it? Has it happened again

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Speaker 1: today yet? Or is it gonna have? I just cleaned

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Speaker 1: it up. Okay, well, next time, don't clean it up.

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Speaker 1: I'd like to see it for myself because you couldn't

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Speaker 1: like warn me like I've never this is the first

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Speaker 1: you're saying all semester, look other professor stores, this is

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Speaker 1: this is something personal. It might be then dead. I'm

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Speaker 1: not sure is it? Is it a big one? Is

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Speaker 1: it a small one? Is it the same every day?

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Speaker 1: It's the size of a softball? Mit? Oh my god?

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Speaker 1: All right, well, thank you for this information. Yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: sorry about the weight. I'm ready to help you. No, wait,

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Speaker 1: wait you okay, fair enough, Okay, so I'm just to

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Speaker 1: totally catch up and understand what's happening here. You're putting

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Speaker 1: that pooh on the is it the dean or a

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Speaker 1: professor's door outside his office? That pooh right there? Ye.

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Speaker 1: All I need you to do is just pooh in

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Speaker 1: the bucket because I need I don't pull that much

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Speaker 1: every day, so you're just collecting pooh on this floor.

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Speaker 1: You get people deeked man, all right, trust me, it's

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Speaker 1: not we're not doing murders. We're not gonna put your

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Speaker 1: dana anywhere. Just poop. Why would you even bring that up?

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Speaker 1: I don't know what. No one's ever asked so many questions. People,

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Speaker 1: you just just come poop and leave. That's it just

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Speaker 1: part of the dull deepness. Now, I'm super confused. You

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Speaker 1: need me to come as well? No, no, no, no, alright,

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Speaker 1: we enough of that, trust me. We got enough of that, Tyler.

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Speaker 1: We just don't mention that. Okay, so I can mention that.

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Speaker 1: You don't want me to mention that. Huh? What are

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Speaker 1: we gonna do with it? Man? I'm home? Hi, good boy? Hi? Oh,

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Speaker 1: I missed you. What did you get into today? Huh

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Speaker 1: h scratch belt, scratch your belly? Yeah, good boy, good boy,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna miss you. H I'm gonna miss you like

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Speaker 1: crazy as soon as I as soon as I do

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Speaker 1: this dissertation, I gotta put you down. H It's like

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Speaker 1: you understand me. It's like you're the only one that

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Speaker 1: understands me. It'd be funny if you started telling me

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Speaker 1: why I should put you down. Here, you list all

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Speaker 1: the reasons. I mean, if you got it in, you

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Speaker 1: give it a shot. You're just you're just the dog. Okay,

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Speaker 1: food time here. All I got is a kind of

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Speaker 1: chickpe It's gonna have to be chicken. Okay, you sit,

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Speaker 1: no parking, no parking? Hi? Can I help you? Hi? Alex? Yeah, Hey,

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Speaker 1: I hate to do this again. Can you just stop

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Speaker 1: talking a loud We're trying to like just work in

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Speaker 1: the just next door, and we can hear it, and

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Speaker 1: it's just really really distracting, really really think we're just

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Speaker 1: trying to work. Okay, I don't know how clear I

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Speaker 1: can make that. All right, he's talked to you, and

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Speaker 1: that dog should not be in here, That fucking dogs

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Speaker 1: shouldn't Okay, okay, alright, okay, okay, okay. Well it's uh,

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Speaker 1: it's everyone's favorite day in academia all year around. It's

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Speaker 1: dissertation defense day. All right, thank you Tyler for that fanfare.

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Speaker 1: I I, of course I am Professor Shapuck, and uh

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Speaker 1: on my left here is Professor din Witty and this

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Speaker 1: is on my right, uh professor Witty din Witty. Did

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Speaker 1: I not say din Witty? Sounded like you said dim witty.

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Speaker 1: Oh well, I mean that that it's it's hard not

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Speaker 1: to make that mistake, you know, because of course that's

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Speaker 1: your nickname around campus. What what that's my nickname around campus.

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Speaker 1: Let's check out some of the flowes here. Wow, this

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Speaker 1: is amazing. This is a look, I mean, look what

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Speaker 1: all I mean, every single fraternity house has come out

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Speaker 1: he lost. The sorority House of Greek Life is on

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Speaker 1: show right now, and as we know, the Greek letters

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Speaker 1: that's Alpha, Beta and then all the rest. So we

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Speaker 1: we got it here, we got it good. And professors,

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Speaker 1: anything you're excited for any other dissertation that you're really

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Speaker 1: looking forward to see how they're going to defend. I

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Speaker 1: I just I think there's a lot of indefensible arguments

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Speaker 1: being made today, so it's gonna be interesting to see

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Speaker 1: how they how they handle it. Well, it would be honest.

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Speaker 1: It's easy to argue a defensible argument. It's the indefensible ones,

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Speaker 1: the rise up above the rest that I'm most excited

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Speaker 1: to see today, dim witty, I could not agree with

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Speaker 1: you more, did you? Okay, well, thank you. I appreciate that. No,

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Speaker 1: I just I my ears. It's I think it's the crowd.

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Speaker 1: It's the excitement of the crowd. I keep getting Here

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Speaker 1: comes a rugby t. Look at them both, they're fine, Hey,

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Speaker 1: thanks for meeting me here. So you you made sure

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Speaker 1: to give him caffeine today? Right? Yeah? Yeah, of course. Okay,

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Speaker 1: there's your cash, thank you. Wait, there's only nine dollars here?

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Speaker 1: What do we say twenty okay, great, I owe you,

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Speaker 1: Oh totally, totally. It's just kind of mark you down

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Speaker 1: for eleven more. Yeah, okay, and tomorrow. All I need

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Speaker 1: was was today. As long as he's he's caffeinated on that,

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Speaker 1: uh that adjudication stand then I'm he's all calfine. Okay,

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Speaker 1: professor dimwit, you seem to be breaking out in hives?

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Speaker 1: Are you all right? I think it must have been

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Speaker 1: beastings earlier. I feel the hives on my skin. I didn't.

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty tough, so oftentimes I don't feel the sting.

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Speaker 1: It's hard to hear because then my ears are ringing

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Speaker 1: really loud. It's like an allergic reaction. You were stung

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Speaker 1: multiple times before we we went on, I thought, so,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. It's hard to breathe sometimes. So, uh well,

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Speaker 1: first up today we have to defend his his dissertation

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Speaker 1: on canine behavior. We have Alex Porter. All right, you

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Speaker 1: wanna do you wanna do you want to us to

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Speaker 1: take a moment in one here? No, I'm I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: a good professor. I am still young as I was

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Speaker 1: the day I started. That's that's your your eyes water

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Speaker 1: and dumbass. It's because I'm tearing up. I can't believe

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Speaker 1: this student who I thought it was never gonna make

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Speaker 1: it a dissertation taste here? Okay? Yeah, well Alex, well

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Speaker 1: you seem to have brought a dog with you. Yes, Hi,

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Speaker 1: good afternoon, Good afternoon. Um, as you know, I'm Alex

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Speaker 1: and this is my good boy. Now I'm also going

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Speaker 1: to professor. What's going on? Ship? There? Are you growing

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Speaker 1: a snout? It's a moon? Is it? It's not full

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Speaker 1: moon up there? Is it? Well? It's staytime. It states

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Speaker 1: supposed to. There is supposed to be a full moon

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Speaker 1: tonight the day sometimes, don't lie, don't lie. You can

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Speaker 1: see that. Okay, Okay, I'm fine, though, Please go on.

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Speaker 1: Is this that thing happening or does that be? Okay? Okay, cool,

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Speaker 1: I just thought I thought I thought it was. That

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Speaker 1: doesn't matter, Okay, let's do it. Okay, what do you got, Alex? Great?

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Speaker 1: You'll see here. I have two syringes and that has

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Speaker 1: seen one see two. Comes from listener Stephen Harding, who

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Speaker 1: wrote this is Steve from Minneapolis. I listened to you

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Speaker 1: guys at work. My scene suggestion is a wordplace an

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Speaker 1: ensemble that has the absolute worst inside jokes imaginable. Thank you, Stephen.

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Speaker 1: So then the guys says to the plumber, those really

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Speaker 1: your pliers, right, Oh, you can use you can use

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Speaker 1: that for anything, man, right, you can use those pers

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Speaker 1: or anything. Yeah. I don't want to explain the joke

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Speaker 1: past the punchline, but yes it was. You know, we

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Speaker 1: got the Denver office coming over. You. You should say

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Speaker 1: that to him, you think, oh yeah, oh yeah, listen up,

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Speaker 1: listen up, listen up. As you know, today is a

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Speaker 1: big day. We have guests coming in. They are corporate, corporate, corporate,

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Speaker 1: which means I want to see those times a little tighter.

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Speaker 1: Huh's if you have wrinkles in your shirt, now would

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Speaker 1: be the time. This is oh because I was like,

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Speaker 1: if you have wrinkles, and that would be the time. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So listen, we are or like a family. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: be honest, okay. And the Denver people they're like our

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Speaker 1: our cousins. So I want to welcome them, show them

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Speaker 1: that family. Yeah, exactly exactly, So they're like our family.

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Speaker 1: Now they will be uh, you know, they'll be looking

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Speaker 1: at yeah, cousin. Can I ask a more constructive questions? Sir? Sure? Okay,

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Speaker 1: I know a lot of people have made out with

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Speaker 1: a cousin, so I'm just curious if anyone's made out

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Speaker 1: with a cousin from the Denver team. I haven't chuck

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Speaker 1: time to be honest about it. Yeah, Tim, Brandy, you're

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Speaker 1: looking a little strange with the question. Um you're me? No, oh,

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Speaker 1: I don't think I knew your name is Randy? No

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Speaker 1: what you call me? Mr? Is your name Randy? No,

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Speaker 1: it's Mr. Gaddaff And we know that. O oh. We

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Speaker 1: gotta get to Chicago, so let's go right now, right now. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I got to see these ship heads in Chicago, that

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Speaker 1: swear you got. If I could cut one office, if

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Speaker 1: I could just do fire them with no package, no

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Speaker 1: nothing would be the fucking Chicago office. I mean they

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Speaker 1: got families. They have families too. I mean, I agree,

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Speaker 1: I'm not a fan of Chicago, but they're trying to

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Speaker 1: feed the families to this guy with his bleeding heart.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I agree. There are a bunch of idiots.

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Speaker 1: Tickets please, Oh yeah, it's on my phone. Right. I'm

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Speaker 1: just gonna board with them, even because I have a

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Speaker 1: different boarding group. But this is my ticket. Oh that's

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Speaker 1: not how that works, sir, don't sit next to each other.

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Speaker 1: We like, I'm in the middle seat already, so it

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Speaker 1: would be most convenient if just just go wait in

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Speaker 1: your section and board with the right creup. Don't don't

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Speaker 1: be that guy. Okay, is this the flight to Denver? Yes,

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Speaker 1: this is direct flight to Denver. Oh we're the wrong line.

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Speaker 1: This is too Denver. I'm sorry. This goes up and

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Speaker 1: then right back down. Uh. Update everyone on the Denver people.

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Speaker 1: They mistakenly got on a flight to Denver. So that

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Speaker 1: a joke. No, No, they they boarded uh border and

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Speaker 1: aircraft at Denver Airport, which is as everyone knows, an

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Speaker 1: Illuminati meeting place, and they flew uh right back to Denver,

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Speaker 1: so that there are a couple of hours. Hey, team,

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Speaker 1: I just want to let you know that the Denver

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Speaker 1: team they actually yeah, and I think they should get

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Speaker 1: off that flight. Get Brandy, what I told you that

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Speaker 1: in confidence? We were ping and that's you know, that's

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Speaker 1: like when stuff happens. I'm the boss, Randy, mhmm. Do

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Speaker 1: you want to go back to the urnal have a conversation.

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Speaker 1: I didn't think so. I just want to say, uh,

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Speaker 1: I just I just want to say, there's such thing

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Speaker 1: as kissing cousins. But this family is too much to

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Speaker 1: have confidential things in the in the urinal. What it

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00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:32,360
Speaker 1: sounds like? Your sounds like? What's going on? Hold ship?

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Speaker 1: You might be part of the illuminati. That's his impression

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Speaker 1: of Max Headroom from the eighties. Oh oh my god. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: this this workplace ensemble tells the best jokes. Right, all right, everybody,

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Speaker 1: that's Suppo's to get on the right flight this time.

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Speaker 1: That was fun. Here's our tickets. You're the same? How

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Speaker 1: was your How is your a lot up there? If

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Excuse me? You are to me,

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Speaker 1: to me, to me, He's saying, this is very confucent.

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Speaker 1: I don't know who to show my phone too. Don't

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Speaker 1: do this, not today, how no, no, how no, don't

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Speaker 1: put your ticket. Put your phones back in your pockets. Everybody,

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Speaker 1: you will not be boarding this flight, and tell how

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Speaker 1: and I fix this. We have to get to Chicago.

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Speaker 1: We have an important meeting. Well, unfortunately, how is stopping

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Speaker 1: you from doing that? The Christmas ants will return where

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Speaker 1: we go? Okay, guys, I do have an update on

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Speaker 1: the status of the Denver team. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: step on Randy's toes though, so I'll just wait until

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Speaker 1: he Well, where is you, man? Just tell us I

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Speaker 1: don't know where he is. I mean he really this

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Speaker 1: is his job to relate his news to you. I

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Speaker 1: did hear the news. I have it. Gona give you

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Speaker 1: an update on the uh okay they were they were

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Speaker 1: prevented from boarding and they were thrown an airport jail.

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Speaker 1: There in airport jail at the Denver Airport right now? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, is that on a plane? Alright? Goofballs,

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Speaker 1: listen upten up. Okay, by the way, the rubber chickens

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Speaker 1: and the red noses got some serious basiness talking about

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Speaker 1: okay last last week. All right, um, is it about

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Speaker 1: the airport jail? But how would you how would you know? Wow?

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Speaker 1: They made me? They made me? Wow? Wow? Is there

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Speaker 1: no fucking is there? Is there no honor in the urinals? Randy.

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Speaker 1: I go there, I let it all hang out, and

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Speaker 1: I get honest and I get open. And I thought

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Speaker 1: you were there to receive that. You know, in time

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Speaker 1: and time again you just take me out of the knees. Well,

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Speaker 1: I guess I'm just faster at walking to the other

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Speaker 1: side of the office to relay messages. I walk fast.

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Speaker 1: Look at my Look at my steps. Look at my steps, everybody,

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Speaker 1: look at my steps exactly, that's just how many steps?

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Speaker 1: Excuse me, sergeant, you don't know who we are, but

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Speaker 1: we should not be in this prison, all right. Um,

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Speaker 1: we're the C Suite from McClellan and Johnson. So if

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00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:40,199
Speaker 1: you could open this up and we could be on

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Speaker 1: our way. We have a big meeting in Chicago, A

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Speaker 1: big meeting in Chicago. Yeah. Do you know how many

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Speaker 1: times I've heard that excuse? I mean, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It's not an excuse for us. We look. I read

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Speaker 1: the security at Devera Airport, and so i'd be olden too.

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Speaker 1: The Illuminati who run this place, and uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: at the people who live in the secret bunker. I'm gonna,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna, you know what, Terry show him your Illuminati card.

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Speaker 1: Terry show him your Illuminati card? Is this a workplace?

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Speaker 1: Bit um? Because I'm not the older deer inside jokes,

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Speaker 1: all right, I showed you that that illuminated occurred in confidence. Look,

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Speaker 1: I take orders from the hell horse that inference to.

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Speaker 1: Here's my Illuminati card. You'll notice the picture of the

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00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:40,800
Speaker 1: eyeball the pyramid just like the dollar bill. How do

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00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,120
Speaker 1: I know this isn't a joke in the illuminat Aye,

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Speaker 1: It's got my membership number on the bottom and go

398
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 1: to the internet site and you can verify it gives

399
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:55,639
Speaker 1: a seven. This checks out. I'm terribly sorry, thank you.

400
00:26:56,080 --> 00:27:01,680
Speaker 1: I'm suing with you. I'm talking with you. What wait, no, no,

401
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 1: that that hell horse has gonna come to life any minute,

402
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:10,080
Speaker 1: and it's going to uh To to interrogate you. Alright,

403
00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:15,680
Speaker 1: team um our fate awaits us at the facts machine.

404
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:18,640
Speaker 1: I got an email saying that we would be receiving

405
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 1: effects from the Denver team. Why what they emailed you

406
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:30,119
Speaker 1: about a facts? Why do they just email you? I

407
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:33,080
Speaker 1: don't know. I'm not a Denver guy. I'm a Chicago guy.

408
00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:38,399
Speaker 1: That's a Denver joke, for sure. That's a Denver joke. Yeah, well,

409
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 1: demos for still using a fax machine, sir, be it

410
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 1: as it may be, That as it may there's there's

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00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:47,119
Speaker 1: a piece of paper city of that fax machine that

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00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:49,919
Speaker 1: has our fate. Either we're getting funding for the new

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00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 1: quarter or some cuts are gonna be made. Well, guys,

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Speaker 1: I got the facts from the Denver team. I don't

415
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 1: know if Randie informed you, yet he said something about it.

416
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:04,560
Speaker 1: The facts, I guess only consists of their email addresses.

417
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 1: So I think maybe we're supposed to uh to shoot them,

418
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 1: shoot them in an email. Excuse me, sergeant, not to

419
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,439
Speaker 1: be You've messed it up three times now, Just let

420
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,959
Speaker 1: us send that. Let us send the email from our

421
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,159
Speaker 1: own computers. You don't need to log in for us.

422
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:25,440
Speaker 1: Please let me out. So I just love sending faxes.

423
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 1: I understand, I totally get. But well, the importance of

424
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:34,679
Speaker 1: this meaning is vital. And so if I can just

425
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:37,480
Speaker 1: convey to them what's going on, sir, do you ever

426
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 1: think you're calling a person, it turns out it's a

427
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:42,600
Speaker 1: fax machine. I mean, that's always that's a surprise when

428
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 1: you hear those buzzes on the other side. Yeah, yeah,

429
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,800
Speaker 1: that's that used to happen back in the eighties and nineties,

430
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:54,560
Speaker 1: but it stopped. Listen, you seem like a reasonable person.

431
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 1: I try to be all right, all right, and so

432
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:01,320
Speaker 1: all I'm asking is let us out. Let me send

433
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:05,200
Speaker 1: this port notice. We're cutting the funding for our Chicago team.

434
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:08,000
Speaker 1: Do you understand how important that would be? Yeah, excuse me,

435
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:11,440
Speaker 1: let me out too, because I've got I've got some

436
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 1: some statistical cuts to make as well. You know he's

437
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 1: not with us. You know, I'm definitely not with you,

438
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:22,080
Speaker 1: all right, parton, Ram, I need some some I need

439
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 1: some outside air so I could send my own facts.

440
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 1: This guy. M sorry. This guy's been in here for

441
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 1: twenty years. He is the same bullshit excuse every day,

442
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:35,760
Speaker 1: and yet you insist on calling me this guy. Thanks. Thanks.

443
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 1: Hal Oh, finally, favorite time of the day. Just taking

444
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 1: a leak. Yeah it's nice, Hey, Jim, Hello, shot me

445
00:29:51,920 --> 00:30:00,120
Speaker 1: down here? Names Randy? Is my penis calling me the

446
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:06,719
Speaker 1: wrong name? Hello? Yeah? How's it going? How the fun

447
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 1: is going on? Were you using this urinal Randy? Because

448
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:14,720
Speaker 1: I'm already here, I'm already standing at this urinal. Oh shit,

449
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. There's like seven in

450
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:22,240
Speaker 1: a row. I just I don't know where my head is.

451
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 1: And I gotta get hard. We gotta get coordinated, Randy.

452
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:29,640
Speaker 1: You're right, You're right. Do you want Sometimes it's me,

453
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's you. Were just not on the same page. Okay, okay,

454
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:37,320
Speaker 1: will you just listen? Hey, hey guy, how's it going?

455
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 1: Do you hear that? Yeah? Is that your dick? It's

456
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 1: my dick talking to you. It's called me, it's calling

457
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:46,800
Speaker 1: me the whole. I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't come in

458
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 1: here right now, coming over your head. Come listen listening.

459
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,960
Speaker 1: His dick was talking, and I was trying to care

460
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 1: for the name other than Randy. I don't I don't know,

461
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:05,920
Speaker 1: and I don't need to go. I'm fine, sergeant in

462
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:08,719
Speaker 1: the hell Horse. Oh, here we go, Here we go.

463
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 1: A couple of things, A couple of things. Um, I

464
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:20,000
Speaker 1: understand you've got a group from Denver locked up. Yeah,

465
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:24,680
Speaker 1: they're from here. Huh. But they say they gotta be Uh,

466
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,080
Speaker 1: they gotta be in an important meeting in Chicago to

467
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:30,520
Speaker 1: tell people that they've lost their funding. I don't know what, sergeant.

468
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:32,120
Speaker 1: I don't know if the hell Horse has told you,

469
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 1: But you can let them. The Dunver people go, okay,

470
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,040
Speaker 1: well there's two hell Horses here. Now. Well, I'm not

471
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 1: the horse. He's just a horse. I thought he was

472
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 1: already discussed. Did you really just break? I wanted to

473
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:49,800
Speaker 1: be the one to give a little good news for once.

474
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 1: Oh no, this is really embarrassing. I'm sorry. I thought

475
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 1: we discussed it when we were in the pooper. Guys.

476
00:31:56,840 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaker 1: I just to Randy and Randy get off. Uh they

477
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 1: left work. No, they were hidden off in the bathroom.

478
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:10,960
Speaker 1: I mean, actually, it's not funny, it's weird. They there

479
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:14,200
Speaker 1: was an inappropriate workplace moment in the most gives this shi.

480
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:19,080
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter anymore because we all got fired. What Yeah,

481
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,480
Speaker 1: I saw the email. Randy's computer was open, so I

482
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 1: just clicked in and clicked everybody. Um, okay, no, no,

483
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:31,560
Speaker 1: it's not We're going to handle this well. I think

484
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:35,960
Speaker 1: I feel comfortable giving you a little more responsibility. I

485
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 1: stepped out your toes too many times today, and I

486
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 1: think Randy is perfectly qualified to deliver this message. You

487
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:59,880
Speaker 1: got this, Randy, Thanks that sense. Same three comes from

488
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:08,160
Speaker 1: patron alcome Nicholas mark Our, who wrote Hi k V

489
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 1: from the tv mm hmm. At this point, we really

490
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 1: want Chris to book anything we can do, start a

491
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 1: production company. Maybe he would be great. He would be

492
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 1: a great seems like a dufas, but it's actually a

493
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:28,320
Speaker 1: cold blooded killer. Wow. Case in point the ending of

494
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 1: Joe Blow and the Come Tones, where he threatened the

495
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:36,480
Speaker 1: life of the former girlfriend's mother in song form. Don't

496
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 1: you love it when they remember more about the sketches

497
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 1: than we do. Yeah. And frankly, this whole email is

498
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:45,440
Speaker 1: making me emotionalso okay, he's just going to say a

499
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 1: beautiful voice, Chris, Yeah, well yeah, okay, great, let's let's

500
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:57,880
Speaker 1: let's finish that part on that note. Beautiful voice. That's

501
00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:02,880
Speaker 1: that's my takeaway. Thank you. Macle his scene suggestion a

502
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 1: tree a friend an enemy. I love Nicholas tree a

503
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:14,320
Speaker 1: friend and enemy. Love that. M hm, very sorry to

504
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:19,960
Speaker 1: bother you. Are you going to be using this tree? Um?

505
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 1: I would streamerstanding kind of close to it, and I

506
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:25,440
Speaker 1: was just setting up to to read here. It's pretty

507
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:28,080
Speaker 1: good shade, right right right. I mean I wasn't gonna

508
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:30,879
Speaker 1: call DIBs or anything. I was just curious how long

509
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 1: you need the tree for? Honestly, I mean, there's enough

510
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:36,640
Speaker 1: room underneath this tree. If you want to sit here

511
00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,360
Speaker 1: with me, you could. I was gonna be reading. Oh golly,

512
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 1: that'd be swill, thank you, thank you very much. But

513
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:44,440
Speaker 1: there's a lot of other trees that have nobody sitting underneath.

514
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 1: This is my good litree, So it is. If you

515
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:50,839
Speaker 1: don't mind, I need to squat right here. Yeah, don't mind.

516
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:56,439
Speaker 1: Opinions for god Boy going on thirty two years now

517
00:34:56,520 --> 00:35:00,399
Speaker 1: and yeh, could you tell me the story about when

518
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 1: you first met this tree? Could? Yeah, I'm not about to,

519
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:07,280
Speaker 1: but I certainly could, uh if I was of mind.

520
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:11,799
Speaker 1: But I will tell you this much, I've never not

521
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:14,439
Speaker 1: won the lottery after sitting under this tree. For while,

522
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 1: I don't play the lottery usually, maybe today is a

523
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:20,279
Speaker 1: good day to start. I have some lottery tickets if

524
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:24,880
Speaker 1: you'd like to buy some. Oh my god, these are genuine.

525
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:28,480
Speaker 1: They've not been scratched yet and therefore the mega millions

526
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:33,960
Speaker 1: so okay, yeah, there are normally a dollar Hey, Gabe,

527
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 1: welcome back. We just got some new hot pockets and

528
00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 1: different kind of gatory flavors in the backs. If you

529
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:44,520
Speaker 1: want to grab some, you know, try it out. Mm

530
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:52,280
Speaker 1: hmm okay, okay, what's uh? What's the assignment for today?

531
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:58,200
Speaker 1: Sam Old? Sam Old? Just checking the weather, making sure

532
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:01,400
Speaker 1: that the proper he's a safe and that's about it.

533
00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:13,080
Speaker 1: Are these hot pockets? Game pockets? Pepperoni? Yeah? No, this

534
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:18,719
Speaker 1: is gonna be great. I'm so excited. Yeah, you're my

535
00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:25,319
Speaker 1: best friend. You're my best friend too. Mhm. We know

536
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:31,359
Speaker 1: each other like the back of her hands. M hum,

537
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:39,919
Speaker 1: are you dating my mom? Just saying yes, Oh, man,

538
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:42,920
Speaker 1: you just made this super weird, because then you'd be

539
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:48,359
Speaker 1: like my friend and my stepdad. First off, I'll never

540
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:52,640
Speaker 1: be your dad, but I can be your father. Oh

541
00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 1: it was a turn I didn't see. I didn't see

542
00:36:56,160 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 1: that turn. Anybody can be dad, but it takes a

543
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:03,920
Speaker 1: real man to be a father. But will you still

544
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 1: be my friend? I'll be your best friend. You'll be

545
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:12,640
Speaker 1: my father and my best friend. I'll be your friend.

546
00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:25,239
Speaker 1: Fr Franther Fringer, I'll be your frither friend. I thought

547
00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:28,919
Speaker 1: it was gonna be super weird. All right, I don't

548
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:34,160
Speaker 1: have anything to scratch us with. I guess would you

549
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:38,680
Speaker 1: like to use this knife? Yeah? Yeah, yeah I would.

550
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,880
Speaker 1: How do you like that knife? I mean it's it

551
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:46,400
Speaker 1: looks vintage. Oh it is, it is. I don't normally

552
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 1: do this, but I could sell you the knife for

553
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 1: forty seven dollars. Really, I mean it's worth probably ten

554
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:55,640
Speaker 1: times that. Really, you could turn run around and sell

555
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:58,400
Speaker 1: it to somebody else. I'll like, God, it's a fifty

556
00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:03,160
Speaker 1: dollar bill. I don't need change, but an extra lottery ticket.

557
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:06,680
Speaker 1: You got an extra uh you know what, Let's go

558
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:09,560
Speaker 1: two for two for one on the fifty yeah, sure,

559
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 1: two for one on the lottery tickets and you get

560
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 1: the knife. All right, Okay, I've just wanted to prove

561
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 1: my point earlier that this tree is super lucky for me.

562
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:25,439
Speaker 1: You know what just occurred to me. Why don't you

563
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:28,399
Speaker 1: scratch the lottery tickets off? Oh? Because of the good

564
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:36,480
Speaker 1: luck thing? Uh huh? Drop that weapon, that murder, weapon, murder.

565
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:40,319
Speaker 1: He's had that knife in my throat, sir, Well we

566
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 1: know it. Oh, we've been tracking that knife for a

567
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 1: long time. There's a mistake. Blood's been shed. Check it

568
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:52,319
Speaker 1: for finger prints. Oh, you don't gonna tell me how

569
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:53,600
Speaker 1: to do my job. I want to check that thing

570
00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 1: for fingerprints. Okay, here, and what's this? And what what

571
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 1: are you playing with here? Gambling? This is just like

572
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:06,120
Speaker 1: I don't think, just like you can't gamble under a tree,

573
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 1: but this in the state of Wisconsin. Officer. He was

574
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:13,759
Speaker 1: trying to sell me these tickets. He was gonna go

575
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:15,840
Speaker 1: ahead and be on my way. Now you're you have

576
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 1: a great day. You're in a lot of trouble there, pal, Okay, okay,

577
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 1: just calm down. This is a handful of winning lottery tickets. Okay,

578
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:30,440
Speaker 1: we could split it. Are you are you questioning my

579
00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:34,279
Speaker 1: integrity as a police officer? I don't know what integrity

580
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:37,000
Speaker 1: do you know? I'm wearing a bulletproof vest. Watch this bat?

581
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:39,880
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I've never been this close to a

582
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:44,880
Speaker 1: gun shot. I call this Meeting of Trees of Central

583
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:56,279
Speaker 1: Park to order. Roll call willow tree. He's gonna go

584
00:39:56,360 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 1: backwards again. Unbelievable. Is the willow tree here? Here? Here? Here? Oh,

585
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:19,799
Speaker 1: didn't see you? Oak tree around? Okay, Elm tree, Elm

586
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:26,840
Speaker 1: tree is here. That's ok for Elm there's oh mother.

587
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:36,600
Speaker 1: I'm covering for him. He's running late m m and

588
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:40,960
Speaker 1: then apple tree. All right, buddy, where are you going?

589
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:44,320
Speaker 1: Come on? Like, I don't got time? Where you going? Buddy?

590
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,840
Speaker 1: Where are you going? Come? Where you going? I'm running

591
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:52,239
Speaker 1: lady to a meeting? Yeah here, no time? Buddy? Where

592
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:56,480
Speaker 1: you going? Tell me where you're going? Buddy? True par Okay,

593
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:58,720
Speaker 1: what part of that? Where do you want to go? Huh?

594
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:02,759
Speaker 1: The tree grow? Tree grow from this dead center of

595
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:04,319
Speaker 1: the puck. But you know I can't drive that, but

596
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 1: I'll do it for you. Okay, let it go. But hey,

597
00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:14,440
Speaker 1: there we go. Now. Look, look, it's not illegal to

598
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:17,360
Speaker 1: gamble underneath the tree in New York. But you're not

599
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 1: in New York. This is Wisconsin. I know, I I

600
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:24,480
Speaker 1: recognize that. I look around and I'm in Wisconsin. So

601
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:27,399
Speaker 1: let me ask you a question. What do you feel

602
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:31,480
Speaker 1: like to kill all those people? Huh? What didn't feel

603
00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:36,320
Speaker 1: like to kill all those people? Listen? That was surprising

604
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:37,799
Speaker 1: to me. You know, I didn't know that was gonna

605
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:40,240
Speaker 1: hurt as bad, but it did. Seeing those dead animals

606
00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:43,799
Speaker 1: made me feel sad. Officer, Look, this knife is a

607
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:47,840
Speaker 1: lottery scratcher. Put that night, I already shot myself to

608
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 1: prove how you doing, sir? Uh, fifty dollars that will

609
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:53,920
Speaker 1: get to you a couple of Hey, Gabe, do we

610
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:57,160
Speaker 1: do we have any more of those? I think we

611
00:41:57,239 --> 00:41:59,080
Speaker 1: have some scratchers here. Let me just see for you.

612
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:01,200
Speaker 1: I hope to get a whole bunch of scratchers for

613
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 1: the fifty. You know, well, if you get the two

614
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,239
Speaker 1: dollar ones, for sure, but there's you know, they rise,

615
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:08,120
Speaker 1: and there's once for twenty dollars can be two for

616
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:11,200
Speaker 1: I'm not following for that. I just where's my son?

617
00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 1: You asking if we have more scratchers? Yeah, honey, we

618
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:18,960
Speaker 1: got tons of um? Okay, we can you can you

619
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 1: have my boy bring them out? Can you? Can you

620
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:28,120
Speaker 1: have my young son bring him out? You know his name?

621
00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 1: Am I just having my young son? Honey? I think

622
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:37,879
Speaker 1: I wanted like ten ten tons of the fives would

623
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:41,520
Speaker 1: be good. Ten fives? Okay, just get this way right now?

624
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:43,440
Speaker 1: Do we need to wait for your un names? Yeah,

625
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 1: we're waiting for the tens, but I have the five year.

626
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:48,120
Speaker 1: I can do two fives, but the tens obviously are

627
00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:51,000
Speaker 1: going to be a higher path. Right now? Thousand dollars

628
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:55,759
Speaker 1: ten five dollar tickets? Are you want ten five? You

629
00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:58,320
Speaker 1: don't want the tents? We see I got fifty and

630
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:01,759
Speaker 1: spend it. So that's not saying I'm saying like you

631
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:05,640
Speaker 1: can get they go all left. So you didn't have

632
00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:09,320
Speaker 1: to be good at math. You get this job. Look

633
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:11,839
Speaker 1: if I were you, I'd go out in a blaze

634
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:13,960
Speaker 1: of glory. I say, you take a couple of lunches

635
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:15,880
Speaker 1: at me with that knife. Give yourself a real, a

636
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:18,600
Speaker 1: real gentleman's way out. You know what I mean? I mean,

637
00:43:18,719 --> 00:43:21,520
Speaker 1: Oh I want to do is scratch these winning lottery

638
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 1: tickets and keep. You are admitting you want to break

639
00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:26,440
Speaker 1: the law to an officer. No, what are you reading that?

640
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:30,160
Speaker 1: What's that book? This book, it's it's the book Law

641
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:38,239
Speaker 1: and Order, Book Law Order. I think it's much better

642
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:42,080
Speaker 1: than the movie the show. I was just coming out

643
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:45,359
Speaker 1: here to do some reading today, officer, and you know good.

644
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:47,640
Speaker 1: I'm a good guy. And it came up on some

645
00:43:47,719 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 1: lottery tickets and I got a lottery scratcher on this

646
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 1: episode of Why We Hang it's time to reconsider all

647
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:01,680
Speaker 1: the things that we want thought, and then I thought

648
00:44:01,719 --> 00:44:04,320
Speaker 1: of again, Jeff, take us from the start again. Geez,

649
00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:10,359
Speaker 1: that was horrible. Sorry, So my neighbor, my neighbor just

650
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:12,440
Speaker 1: talking to himself all the time, and I can't sleep,

651
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:16,640
Speaker 1: and I just liked that. So I'm telling you the truth, man,

652
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 1: I wouldn't make that up other people all the time.

653
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:21,200
Speaker 1: Why is that a big not just talking to himself,

654
00:44:21,239 --> 00:44:23,239
Speaker 1: I'm telling you right now. It's like he's talking to

655
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,759
Speaker 1: his dog or is dingle. I don't know what it is.

656
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:28,440
Speaker 1: It's just freaking me out, man. I just haven't got

657
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:29,799
Speaker 1: a lot of sleep. Man, if I could just take

658
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 1: a little power and happ here, please before we record,

659
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:33,880
Speaker 1: before you go to I gotta tell you this thing

660
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 1: that happened in my my office for a long time

661
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:39,239
Speaker 1: I worked in Chicago and then there's a guy there.

662
00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:51,000
Speaker 1: Els here. Everybody welcome. Sorry, I'm here. Can somebody help

663
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:54,360
Speaker 1: me pay the taxi driver for the first three percent?

664
00:44:54,440 --> 00:45:06,000
Speaker 1: I was too tall? This again. That's our show for today. Wow. Uh,

665
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,640
Speaker 1: how I've missed you so and I want to thank

666
00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:14,279
Speaker 1: you each and everyone for allowing me to attempt to

667
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:17,520
Speaker 1: take control back of the vehicle. I also want to,

668
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:22,960
Speaker 1: of course, thank Cole Strawden for guest hosting in my absence.

669
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:29,520
Speaker 1: And uh, let's start our goodbyes with Mr Chris Alvarado Christopher, Hey, goodbye, hello,

670
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:32,040
Speaker 1: and goodbye. I'm so glad you're back. Heavan, we missed you.

671
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 1: We'd love you. Cold did a great job. But I mean,

672
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:36,040
Speaker 1: let's be honest, you know what I mean. I think

673
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 1: we should be honest. I'm happy to have you back,

674
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:47,760
Speaker 1: Thanks buddy. Uh. The other podcast you'd like to mention, Chris, Sure, yeah, sure,

675
00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:51,800
Speaker 1: The Comedy Fix, Yeah yeah. We're just sucking around with

676
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:57,719
Speaker 1: with you know, breaking down comedy, breaking down comedy. Yeah. Uh,

677
00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:01,560
Speaker 1: and thank you for it. Craig A Cows A couple

678
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:06,000
Speaker 1: of things. Uh. The Chris is Pie Escapade reminds me

679
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:09,240
Speaker 1: that if you're eating pumpkin pie, there is probably zero

680
00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:14,080
Speaker 1: pumpkin in it. Uh, it's it's squash. And uh if

681
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:18,440
Speaker 1: you've ever tried to make a pie from pumpkin scratch, uh,

682
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:21,760
Speaker 1: it doesn't taste as good because it's pumpkin. It's actual pumpkin.

683
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:26,560
Speaker 1: What you want is the hell it's the pumpkin pure mix,

684
00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:30,680
Speaker 1: which contains no pumpkin. Uh. And if you're not familiar

685
00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:34,160
Speaker 1: with the hell horse that guards the Denver Airport, its

686
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:39,200
Speaker 1: name is Blucifer. Blucifer and just google Bluesifer and uh

687
00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:43,360
Speaker 1: it killed the sculptor that made it. So that's uh.

688
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:45,439
Speaker 1: If you're not famlire with some of the conspiracy theories

689
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:49,280
Speaker 1: regarding the Denver Airport, it's a wonderful, uh deep internet

690
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:54,960
Speaker 1: hole to go down and thank you for that. Um, Chris,

691
00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I'm just gonna say on behalf of the

692
00:46:57,120 --> 00:47:00,360
Speaker 1: rest of us. I I felt that particular bit of

693
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:03,799
Speaker 1: information was more than maybe you were ready for. Yeah,

694
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:09,640
Speaker 1: I'd say I got a lot of yeah. Yes. Do

695
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:12,279
Speaker 1: you think you've been eating pumpkin all this time? Well,

696
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:15,480
Speaker 1: it's a pumpkin pie, Craig, Yeah, I'm not a smart guy. Sure,

697
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:17,239
Speaker 1: I don't book a lot. But I you know, when

698
00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:19,120
Speaker 1: I buy things that say things, I think they are

699
00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:21,359
Speaker 1: what they are. Maybe I'm too honest. I guess I'm

700
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:27,120
Speaker 1: a freaking idiot. Squash Pie, it doesn't it's delicious. It's delicious,

701
00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:29,480
Speaker 1: it's good, it's better the pumpkin pie. Believe you don't

702
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:32,839
Speaker 1: want a pumpkin put Let's be super clear, christ Teach

703
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:35,400
Speaker 1: and every pie you've eaten this season has been in

704
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:42,319
Speaker 1: fact called a pumpkin put. Yes, and Craig and his

705
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:47,879
Speaker 1: information can go straight down. James Heeney, Well, it has

706
00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:51,440
Speaker 1: just been a damn pleasure to join along with all

707
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:55,360
Speaker 1: of you again. Uh check me out on game front

708
00:47:55,800 --> 00:48:00,480
Speaker 1: dot com or YouTube slash came front. They're nice, very

709
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:03,120
Speaker 1: nice tool saying thank you so much for joining us always. Thanks,

710
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:05,839
Speaker 1: thanks for having me. Good to have you back, good

711
00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:07,840
Speaker 1: to see you again. And I just want to clarify

712
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:12,200
Speaker 1: for some listeners. H Craig was spouting off some conspiracies himself.

713
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:15,400
Speaker 1: So the Denver stuff is all true. The pumpkin pie stuff,

714
00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:17,880
Speaker 1: that's the conspiracy, So just make sure you read it.

715
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:26,920
Speaker 1: Thank you for that alternative. Joey Grahman, let me just

716
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:30,080
Speaker 1: say this, let me get this off my chest. If

717
00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:32,959
Speaker 1: you do six hundred push ups a day, a day,

718
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:36,719
Speaker 1: every single day, six D push ups, you don't miss

719
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:39,640
Speaker 1: it up, you don't miss a day. I guarantee you,

720
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:42,319
Speaker 1: with my program and my and my dietary you know

721
00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 1: nutritional pamphlet, you'll gain sixties to seven percent more muscle

722
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:52,000
Speaker 1: by the end of two weeks. Can see sixty sevre muscles.

723
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:54,799
Speaker 1: So go check out YouTube, dot com, Gate slash game

724
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:58,399
Speaker 1: front all my information is gonna be there checking out.

725
00:48:58,680 --> 00:49:01,560
Speaker 1: I trust to me, trust me. Thank you for that.

726
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:04,520
Speaker 1: Let's thank your engineer and producer to the stars, Mr

727
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:10,839
Speaker 1: Doug Babe, the fine folks that I art Media. I'm

728
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:13,319
Speaker 1: your host, Kevin Pollock, thanking each and every one of

729
00:49:13,320 --> 00:49:17,640
Speaker 1: you for for giving the good gush darn and uh

730
00:49:17,880 --> 00:49:20,200
Speaker 1: spreading the word telling the folks. I'm sure you're writing

731
00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:22,960
Speaker 1: reviews and James was looking for them. Please be kind

732
00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:25,040
Speaker 1: you each other, especially during the holiday seasons. It can

733
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:27,600
Speaker 1: be tougher on a lot of folks who who don't

734
00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:29,879
Speaker 1: have it all the way they want it. So yeah,

735
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:31,640
Speaker 1: let's just be kind to each other out there until

736
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:42,839
Speaker 1: next time. He