WEBVTT - Dear Chiquis: Are You In An Open Relationship? Shared Bank Accounts and Microdosing

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheekies, and you've reached the

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<v Speaker 1>voicemail box for Dear Cheekies, I'm here to give you

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<v Speaker 1>advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with

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<v Speaker 1>your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how

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<v Speaker 1>to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.

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<v Speaker 1>Whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember

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<v Speaker 1>these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering

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<v Speaker 1>from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from

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<v Speaker 1>a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave

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<v Speaker 1>your question at the sound of the beach. I just

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<v Speaker 1>listened to your idea of my journey episode, and I

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<v Speaker 1>want to thank you for putting that information out there,

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<v Speaker 1>especially about feeling broken. I have two kids, but when

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<v Speaker 1>I had to see I felt very broken, like my

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<v Speaker 1>body was not doing the one thing it was meant

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<v Speaker 1>to do. But onto my question, I want to ask,

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<v Speaker 1>since you raise your brothers and sisters, how did you

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<v Speaker 1>feel like you didn't realize yourself. I am a bit

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<v Speaker 1>older than you, and I don't feel like I have

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<v Speaker 1>an identity outside being a mother, and I'm really struggling

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<v Speaker 1>with that. Right now. I would love to hear your thoughts.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you, love you. I love you too, Misty, thank

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<v Speaker 1>you so much. Look, I think that once they grew

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<v Speaker 1>up is kind of when I realized. I think it

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<v Speaker 1>was when Johnny turned eighteen that I said, you know what,

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<v Speaker 1>I have to understand that they're my siblings, and even

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<v Speaker 1>with your children, they are borrowed, you know what I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>Like it's something that God says here for a little bit,

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<v Speaker 1>but they're meant to live their own life and their

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<v Speaker 1>own journey. And for a long time I think that

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<v Speaker 1>I was lost in wanting to help them and prevent

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<v Speaker 1>them from making mistakes and falling and that's just part

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<v Speaker 1>of life. And when they turn eighteen, especially Jenica, it

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<v Speaker 1>was like a big Espinishy turn eighteen, She's like, I'm leaving.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to be independent. I didn't understand it. I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, what the heck. It was a huge blow

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<v Speaker 1>to my heart. But now I step back and I realize,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what, it makes me proud to see them

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<v Speaker 1>spread their wings and grow and know that I had

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<v Speaker 1>some part in that. I don't know how old your

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<v Speaker 1>kids are, Misty, but it's very important that you find

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<v Speaker 1>time for yourself as young as they are, and also

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<v Speaker 1>know that they're going to turn eighteen and they're going

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<v Speaker 1>to do their thing whether you like it or not.

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<v Speaker 1>They have to live their life. But you also need

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<v Speaker 1>to find time now for yourself. And what does that

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<v Speaker 1>look like. I mean, it could just be simply a bath,

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<v Speaker 1>a bath by yourself with no kids around. Find those

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<v Speaker 1>moments of silence for misty so that you don't get

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<v Speaker 1>so lost in it. But it's a blessing. It's a

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<v Speaker 1>blessing that you're a mother and God gave you these

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<v Speaker 1>children because he knew you could raise them and be

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<v Speaker 1>an amazing mother to them. So I think it's just

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<v Speaker 1>a matter of time. It took me a while, and

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<v Speaker 1>as soon as Johnny turned eighteen, I was like, you

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<v Speaker 1>know what, Okay, I've already went through this pain. I

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<v Speaker 1>have to understand, like I have to start letting him

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<v Speaker 1>kind of walk and let go of his hand a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit, and that's not always easy. But ever since then,

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<v Speaker 1>I feel I feel lighter. I don't know, but it's

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<v Speaker 1>when they turn eighteen. But then again, I never stopped

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<v Speaker 1>worrying about any of them, to be honest, even my

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<v Speaker 1>like Mikey he's thirty something and Jackie's thirty three. I

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<v Speaker 1>always worry, you know, It's just something that is just

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<v Speaker 1>a part of us, you know. So anyways, I hope

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<v Speaker 1>I answered your question, Misty, and I hope I was

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<v Speaker 1>able to help you. But girl, it's an everyday thing.

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<v Speaker 1>But you have to be adamant and intentional in finding

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<v Speaker 1>time for yourself. I hope I helped. Okay, Misty, send

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<v Speaker 1>you a big hug. Okay, Okay, Now let's hear from Autumn. Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>Cheggy's a freaking love you, but Chick's I have a

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<v Speaker 1>question here. So on your podcast, you speak Kylie of

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<v Speaker 1>your relationship and you're in a healthy relationship now, and

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<v Speaker 1>I love that for you, girl. But with that being said,

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<v Speaker 1>you recently just know the products a podcast. Girl, you

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<v Speaker 1>would think you didn't have a man. Are you on

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<v Speaker 1>an open relationship or or would you be okay with

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<v Speaker 1>your man flirting and making out with another female because

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<v Speaker 1>listening to your podcast, you don't come off as that

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<v Speaker 1>type that will be okay with your man doing that.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know, Tickies. I love you, girl, but that

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<v Speaker 1>just threw me off. By Autumn, I love you, I

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<v Speaker 1>love that direct ask question more of those, please. I

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<v Speaker 1>love it. Here's the thing. I'm very open with Emilio.

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<v Speaker 1>I've been open with him since day one. We don't

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<v Speaker 1>have an open relationship, absolutely not. He knows that I

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<v Speaker 1>had a girlfriend in my early twenties. He knows that

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<v Speaker 1>I love the anatomy of a woman. I'm not necessarily

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to put any labels like I'm lesbian

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<v Speaker 1>or bisexual or anything like that. But I've kissed girls,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm a huge supporter of the LBGDQ plus community,

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<v Speaker 1>and I have a brother that's you know, bisexual. So anyways,

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<v Speaker 1>with that being said, if Immedia was flirting with a guy,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd be like, okay, cool, another girl. No, you know

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<v Speaker 1>what I mean, Like, I'm not gonna sit there and

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<v Speaker 1>go to some guy's podcasts and flirt with him like

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<v Speaker 1>that I know is off limits. It's just with Snow

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<v Speaker 1>like that's my homie. I think she's hot. I love her,

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<v Speaker 1>I love her music. I've been a fan of her

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<v Speaker 1>music for about two years now, and Immedia knows. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>it was like, Okay, as long as it's not a guy,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm totally fine with it. He thinks it's kind of

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<v Speaker 1>sexy So he actually went with me to a podcast

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<v Speaker 1>with this girl named Leslie. She's a DJ here in LA,

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<v Speaker 1>and we kissed and he was totally fine with it.

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<v Speaker 1>He's like, damn, I think that's hot. So, to answer

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<v Speaker 1>your question, Autumn, he thinks it's cute, he thinks it's sexy.

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<v Speaker 1>As long as it's not a dude, I think we're good.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't don't think I mean, know whatever. Fair with

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<v Speaker 1>the guy though, but if you were to flair with

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<v Speaker 1>a girl, oh no, girl, Yeah, you're absolutely right. I

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<v Speaker 1>am not going to put up with that. And maybe

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<v Speaker 1>it could be a little bit like double standard, but

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just very boom. This is what it is. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>a grown ass woman. I kind of like girls once

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<v Speaker 1>in a while, drink some tequila. And if there's a

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<v Speaker 1>cute girl and we happened a kiss, he's okay with it.

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<v Speaker 1>It's cute, you know, but I wouldn't like go any further,

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<v Speaker 1>especially with the dupe for me. So, um, thanks, I

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<v Speaker 1>really liked your question. Thank you for being so straight

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<v Speaker 1>at bottom. Okay, looks like we have a question from Stellbell.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh stell Beell like that, hant chikys. I had a

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<v Speaker 1>question for you. Also, so me and my fiancee have

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<v Speaker 1>different mindsets when it comes to money. For example, I

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<v Speaker 1>like to save, I like to pay my bills on time.

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<v Speaker 1>And for him, he's a spender. He likes spend money

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<v Speaker 1>whenever he has a chance. He waits until the grace

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<v Speaker 1>period is about to end. And it's kind of hard

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<v Speaker 1>since we are sharing the same bank, so all his money,

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<v Speaker 1>all his income goes into my bank and the asuka,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, whatever he wants to spend and everything, and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not working right now, so it's really hard for

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<v Speaker 1>me to know say hey, like you need to watch

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<v Speaker 1>what you're spending and not trying to like get on

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<v Speaker 1>his ass, but also you know, trying to help us

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<v Speaker 1>out as a young couple. And every time I do

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<v Speaker 1>try to bring it up, it turns into an argument,

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<v Speaker 1>and I just want your advice. What do you think

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<v Speaker 1>I should do? Thank you, girl, I hope I can

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<v Speaker 1>hear from you. Hello Stelle Belle. I like your name,

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<v Speaker 1>by the way. Okay, Look, finances are always just a

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<v Speaker 1>touchy subject when it comes to relationships. And if you

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<v Speaker 1>guys are sharing an account, that this means you guys

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<v Speaker 1>are a very serious couple. You guys are in a

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<v Speaker 1>very serious relationship, so that's a good sign. The fact

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<v Speaker 1>that you're not working right now doesn't mean that you

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<v Speaker 1>can't say something because you're taking care of the household.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm assuming and cooking and cleaning, and that in itself, girl,

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<v Speaker 1>is a job. Let me tell you. So, you have

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<v Speaker 1>all the right to say, hey, our bills come first.

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<v Speaker 1>It's all in how you express it. If you're coming

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<v Speaker 1>at him throwing a curveball and you're being rude or

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<v Speaker 1>that's completely different. But if you come out of a

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<v Speaker 1>place of love and you just say, hey, I'm worried.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to tell you not to buy yourself

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<v Speaker 1>whatever it is that you'd like. I just want you

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<v Speaker 1>to be mindful of making sure that our bills are

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<v Speaker 1>taking care of first. I mean, maybe what you can

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<v Speaker 1>do is figure out how much the bills are and

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<v Speaker 1>set that money to the side from the very beginning,

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<v Speaker 1>as soon as his check comes in. Okay, it's like,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm putting X amount of money to the side because

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<v Speaker 1>this is for our bills and I just want to

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<v Speaker 1>make sure that's taken care of whatever there's left. Then

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<v Speaker 1>he needs to know. I mean, we have to say

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<v Speaker 1>for a rainy day. You have to be mindful for

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<v Speaker 1>our future, because girl, we're in a recession, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>and you have all the right to be worried. And

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<v Speaker 1>he should understand that because you're coming out of a

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<v Speaker 1>place of love. It's not like you are trying to

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<v Speaker 1>take his balls away, you know what I mean. It's like, Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>I love you, I want the best for us, for

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<v Speaker 1>our hold. And again, it's all in how you say

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<v Speaker 1>it and you deliver your message, mamma. So I really

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<v Speaker 1>do suggest that you have a deep conversation and again,

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<v Speaker 1>if you can't say it, text it, write it in

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<v Speaker 1>a letter something where he can have some time to

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<v Speaker 1>just sit and think about it. And I always say,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not trying to upset you. I don't want to

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<v Speaker 1>start an argument. I'm just concerned and hopefully he receives it. Well, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>thank you for your question, and I hope it gets better. Okay. So, last,

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<v Speaker 1>but not least, is a question from Pamela. Hi, cheekies.

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<v Speaker 1>My question to you is I am really interested in

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<v Speaker 1>micro docing because I have heard that it has helped

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<v Speaker 1>people with their confidence within and just I suffer with

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of old anxiety and a little bit of

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<v Speaker 1>depression from some childhood trauma, especially having childhood sexual trauma.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like it's affected my confidence as a an adult,

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<v Speaker 1>and I sometimes feel myself having a lot of out

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<v Speaker 1>of body experiences. So what is your advice on bettering

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<v Speaker 1>my confidence and how is your experiences with microdocing? Because

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<v Speaker 1>I really want to get into it. Oh my goodness,

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<v Speaker 1>so many people have been asking me about microdocing. I've

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<v Speaker 1>mentioned it a few times on the pod, so Pamela, Absolutely,

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<v Speaker 1>it is something that I am very excited about. I

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<v Speaker 1>truly believe in it. I do suggest for you to

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<v Speaker 1>watch some videos on YouTube, do your research, and I

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<v Speaker 1>want to do a full episode on this. I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>an expert by any means. I just know that I

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<v Speaker 1>love how I feel since I've been taking and since

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<v Speaker 1>I've been doing psychedelics microdocing. So I'm gonna get an

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<v Speaker 1>expert for us. I'm gonna find someone that we can

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<v Speaker 1>really dive deep into this. But all I can tell

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<v Speaker 1>you is do your research, look at some stuff. They

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<v Speaker 1>even have some stuff in documentaries on Netflix that I've watched,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's called how to Change Your Mind. And then

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<v Speaker 1>there's another one that is called have a Good Trip.

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<v Speaker 1>I haven't watched that one yet, but I know it

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<v Speaker 1>has to do with psychedelics. So those are the two

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<v Speaker 1>that I would tell you. Pamelatical ahead and watch if

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<v Speaker 1>anyone is interested. Do your research, you guys, go on YouTube.

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<v Speaker 1>But it does wonders for yes, your confidence, for your depression,

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<v Speaker 1>for anxiety, and media. My boyfriend had a lot of anxiety,

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<v Speaker 1>and since we've been doing it, we do it together.

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<v Speaker 1>We pray together every like three days. We take two

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<v Speaker 1>pills and you don't feel crazy. You don't feel like

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<v Speaker 1>you are hallucinating. It's nothing like that. If you take

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<v Speaker 1>a lot, then that's a different story. But literally, we're

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<v Speaker 1>micro dosing. So we do it together and it's helped

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<v Speaker 1>our relationship. It's helped his anxiety so much. Even the depression,

0:11:39.440 --> 0:11:41.840
<v Speaker 1>you guys, and me too, I don't feel as sad.

0:11:41.960 --> 0:11:43.840
<v Speaker 1>I just I feel different. I don't even know how

0:11:43.840 --> 0:11:45.480
<v Speaker 1>to explain it. And I call it like it's a

0:11:45.520 --> 0:11:47.559
<v Speaker 1>flesh of God. It comes from the earth, so it's

0:11:47.600 --> 0:11:53.760
<v Speaker 1>something supernatural. So anyways, Pamela, that's what I recommend. I

0:11:53.800 --> 0:11:55.920
<v Speaker 1>will do a full episode on this as soon as

0:11:55.920 --> 0:11:58.920
<v Speaker 1>I find the right person to really dive deep because

0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:00.600
<v Speaker 1>I know it helps on a cell your level. But

0:12:00.640 --> 0:12:04.840
<v Speaker 1>that's all I know. Okay, So Misty, Autumn, Stellbell, and Pamela,

0:12:04.880 --> 0:12:07.400
<v Speaker 1>thank you, thank you, thank you for submitting your questions,

0:12:07.400 --> 0:12:09.880
<v Speaker 1>and thank you for listening to both my podcast Dear

0:12:09.960 --> 0:12:12.480
<v Speaker 1>Cheeks and Cheeks and Chill. If you guys find yourself

0:12:12.520 --> 0:12:15.240
<v Speaker 1>wrestling with an issue, I'd love to help. Please leave

0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:19.199
<v Speaker 1>your questions at speakpipe dot com Slash Cheeks and Chill podcast.

0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:29.520
<v Speaker 1>I'll see you next week. This is a production of

0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:33.720
<v Speaker 1>iHeartRadio and the Michael Dura podcast Network. Follow us on

0:12:33.760 --> 0:12:37.120
<v Speaker 1>Instagram at Michael Dura podcast and follow me Cheeks That's

0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:42.720
<v Speaker 1>cchi Quis. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,

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