Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheekies, and you've reached the
Speaker 1: voicemail box for Dear Cheekies, I'm here to give you
Speaker 1: advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
Speaker 1: you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
Speaker 1: your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
Speaker 1: to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.
Speaker 1: Whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember
Speaker 1: these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering
Speaker 1: from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from
Speaker 1: a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave
Speaker 1: your question at the sound of the beach. I just
Speaker 1: listened to your idea of my journey episode, and I
Speaker 1: want to thank you for putting that information out there,
Speaker 1: especially about feeling broken. I have two kids, but when
Speaker 1: I had to see I felt very broken, like my
Speaker 1: body was not doing the one thing it was meant
Speaker 1: to do. But onto my question, I want to ask,
Speaker 1: since you raise your brothers and sisters, how did you
Speaker 1: feel like you didn't realize yourself. I am a bit
Speaker 1: older than you, and I don't feel like I have
Speaker 1: an identity outside being a mother, and I'm really struggling
Speaker 1: with that. Right now. I would love to hear your thoughts.
Speaker 1: Thank you, love you. I love you too, Misty, thank
Speaker 1: you so much. Look, I think that once they grew
Speaker 1: up is kind of when I realized. I think it
Speaker 1: was when Johnny turned eighteen that I said, you know what,
Speaker 1: I have to understand that they're my siblings, and even
Speaker 1: with your children, they are borrowed, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like it's something that God says here for a little bit,
Speaker 1: but they're meant to live their own life and their
Speaker 1: own journey. And for a long time I think that
Speaker 1: I was lost in wanting to help them and prevent
Speaker 1: them from making mistakes and falling and that's just part
Speaker 1: of life. And when they turn eighteen, especially Jenica, it
Speaker 1: was like a big Espinishy turn eighteen, She's like, I'm leaving.
Speaker 1: I want to be independent. I didn't understand it. I
Speaker 1: was like, what the heck. It was a huge blow
Speaker 1: to my heart. But now I step back and I realize,
Speaker 1: you know what, it makes me proud to see them
Speaker 1: spread their wings and grow and know that I had
Speaker 1: some part in that. I don't know how old your
Speaker 1: kids are, Misty, but it's very important that you find
Speaker 1: time for yourself as young as they are, and also
Speaker 1: know that they're going to turn eighteen and they're going
Speaker 1: to do their thing whether you like it or not.
Speaker 1: They have to live their life. But you also need
Speaker 1: to find time now for yourself. And what does that
Speaker 1: look like. I mean, it could just be simply a bath,
Speaker 1: a bath by yourself with no kids around. Find those
Speaker 1: moments of silence for misty so that you don't get
Speaker 1: so lost in it. But it's a blessing. It's a
Speaker 1: blessing that you're a mother and God gave you these
Speaker 1: children because he knew you could raise them and be
Speaker 1: an amazing mother to them. So I think it's just
Speaker 1: a matter of time. It took me a while, and
Speaker 1: as soon as Johnny turned eighteen, I was like, you
Speaker 1: know what, Okay, I've already went through this pain. I
Speaker 1: have to understand, like I have to start letting him
Speaker 1: kind of walk and let go of his hand a
Speaker 1: little bit, and that's not always easy. But ever since then,
Speaker 1: I feel I feel lighter. I don't know, but it's
Speaker 1: when they turn eighteen. But then again, I never stopped
Speaker 1: worrying about any of them, to be honest, even my
Speaker 1: like Mikey he's thirty something and Jackie's thirty three. I
Speaker 1: always worry, you know, It's just something that is just
Speaker 1: a part of us, you know. So anyways, I hope
Speaker 1: I answered your question, Misty, and I hope I was
Speaker 1: able to help you. But girl, it's an everyday thing.
Speaker 1: But you have to be adamant and intentional in finding
Speaker 1: time for yourself. I hope I helped. Okay, Misty, send
Speaker 1: you a big hug. Okay, Okay, Now let's hear from Autumn. Hey,
Speaker 1: Cheggy's a freaking love you, but Chick's I have a
Speaker 1: question here. So on your podcast, you speak Kylie of
Speaker 1: your relationship and you're in a healthy relationship now, and
Speaker 1: I love that for you, girl. But with that being said,
Speaker 1: you recently just know the products a podcast. Girl, you
Speaker 1: would think you didn't have a man. Are you on
Speaker 1: an open relationship or or would you be okay with
Speaker 1: your man flirting and making out with another female because
Speaker 1: listening to your podcast, you don't come off as that
Speaker 1: type that will be okay with your man doing that.
Speaker 1: I don't know, Tickies. I love you, girl, but that
Speaker 1: just threw me off. By Autumn, I love you, I
Speaker 1: love that direct ask question more of those, please. I
Speaker 1: love it. Here's the thing. I'm very open with Emilio.
Speaker 1: I've been open with him since day one. We don't
Speaker 1: have an open relationship, absolutely not. He knows that I
Speaker 1: had a girlfriend in my early twenties. He knows that
Speaker 1: I love the anatomy of a woman. I'm not necessarily
Speaker 1: I don't want to put any labels like I'm lesbian
Speaker 1: or bisexual or anything like that. But I've kissed girls,
Speaker 1: and I'm a huge supporter of the LBGDQ plus community,
Speaker 1: and I have a brother that's you know, bisexual. So anyways,
Speaker 1: with that being said, if Immedia was flirting with a guy,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, okay, cool, another girl. No, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like, I'm not gonna sit there and
Speaker 1: go to some guy's podcasts and flirt with him like
Speaker 1: that I know is off limits. It's just with Snow
Speaker 1: like that's my homie. I think she's hot. I love her,
Speaker 1: I love her music. I've been a fan of her
Speaker 1: music for about two years now, and Immedia knows. I mean,
Speaker 1: it was like, Okay, as long as it's not a guy,
Speaker 1: I'm totally fine with it. He thinks it's kind of
Speaker 1: sexy So he actually went with me to a podcast
Speaker 1: with this girl named Leslie. She's a DJ here in LA,
Speaker 1: and we kissed and he was totally fine with it.
Speaker 1: He's like, damn, I think that's hot. So, to answer
Speaker 1: your question, Autumn, he thinks it's cute, he thinks it's sexy.
Speaker 1: As long as it's not a dude, I think we're good.
Speaker 1: I don't don't think I mean, know whatever. Fair with
Speaker 1: the guy though, but if you were to flair with
Speaker 1: a girl, oh no, girl, Yeah, you're absolutely right. I
Speaker 1: am not going to put up with that. And maybe
Speaker 1: it could be a little bit like double standard, but
Speaker 1: I'm just very boom. This is what it is. I'm
Speaker 1: a grown ass woman. I kind of like girls once
Speaker 1: in a while, drink some tequila. And if there's a
Speaker 1: cute girl and we happened a kiss, he's okay with it.
Speaker 1: It's cute, you know, but I wouldn't like go any further,
Speaker 1: especially with the dupe for me. So, um, thanks, I
Speaker 1: really liked your question. Thank you for being so straight
Speaker 1: at bottom. Okay, looks like we have a question from Stellbell.
Speaker 1: Oh stell Beell like that, hant chikys. I had a
Speaker 1: question for you. Also, so me and my fiancee have
Speaker 1: different mindsets when it comes to money. For example, I
Speaker 1: like to save, I like to pay my bills on time.
Speaker 1: And for him, he's a spender. He likes spend money
Speaker 1: whenever he has a chance. He waits until the grace
Speaker 1: period is about to end. And it's kind of hard
Speaker 1: since we are sharing the same bank, so all his money,
Speaker 1: all his income goes into my bank and the asuka,
Speaker 1: you know, whatever he wants to spend and everything, and
Speaker 1: I'm not working right now, so it's really hard for
Speaker 1: me to know say hey, like you need to watch
Speaker 1: what you're spending and not trying to like get on
Speaker 1: his ass, but also you know, trying to help us
Speaker 1: out as a young couple. And every time I do
Speaker 1: try to bring it up, it turns into an argument,
Speaker 1: and I just want your advice. What do you think
Speaker 1: I should do? Thank you, girl, I hope I can
Speaker 1: hear from you. Hello Stelle Belle. I like your name,
Speaker 1: by the way. Okay, Look, finances are always just a
Speaker 1: touchy subject when it comes to relationships. And if you
Speaker 1: guys are sharing an account, that this means you guys
Speaker 1: are a very serious couple. You guys are in a
Speaker 1: very serious relationship, so that's a good sign. The fact
Speaker 1: that you're not working right now doesn't mean that you
Speaker 1: can't say something because you're taking care of the household.
Speaker 1: I'm assuming and cooking and cleaning, and that in itself, girl,
Speaker 1: is a job. Let me tell you. So, you have
Speaker 1: all the right to say, hey, our bills come first.
Speaker 1: It's all in how you express it. If you're coming
Speaker 1: at him throwing a curveball and you're being rude or
Speaker 1: that's completely different. But if you come out of a
Speaker 1: place of love and you just say, hey, I'm worried.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to tell you not to buy yourself
Speaker 1: whatever it is that you'd like. I just want you
Speaker 1: to be mindful of making sure that our bills are
Speaker 1: taking care of first. I mean, maybe what you can
Speaker 1: do is figure out how much the bills are and
Speaker 1: set that money to the side from the very beginning,
Speaker 1: as soon as his check comes in. Okay, it's like,
Speaker 1: I'm putting X amount of money to the side because
Speaker 1: this is for our bills and I just want to
Speaker 1: make sure that's taken care of whatever there's left. Then
Speaker 1: he needs to know. I mean, we have to say
Speaker 1: for a rainy day. You have to be mindful for
Speaker 1: our future, because girl, we're in a recession, you know,
Speaker 1: and you have all the right to be worried. And
Speaker 1: he should understand that because you're coming out of a
Speaker 1: place of love. It's not like you are trying to
Speaker 1: take his balls away, you know what I mean. It's like, Hey,
Speaker 1: I love you, I want the best for us, for
Speaker 1: our hold. And again, it's all in how you say
Speaker 1: it and you deliver your message, mamma. So I really
Speaker 1: do suggest that you have a deep conversation and again,
Speaker 1: if you can't say it, text it, write it in
Speaker 1: a letter something where he can have some time to
Speaker 1: just sit and think about it. And I always say,
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to upset you. I don't want to
Speaker 1: start an argument. I'm just concerned and hopefully he receives it. Well, Okay,
Speaker 1: thank you for your question, and I hope it gets better. Okay. So, last,
Speaker 1: but not least, is a question from Pamela. Hi, cheekies.
Speaker 1: My question to you is I am really interested in
Speaker 1: micro docing because I have heard that it has helped
Speaker 1: people with their confidence within and just I suffer with
Speaker 1: a lot of old anxiety and a little bit of
Speaker 1: depression from some childhood trauma, especially having childhood sexual trauma.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's affected my confidence as a an adult,
Speaker 1: and I sometimes feel myself having a lot of out
Speaker 1: of body experiences. So what is your advice on bettering
Speaker 1: my confidence and how is your experiences with microdocing? Because
Speaker 1: I really want to get into it. Oh my goodness,
Speaker 1: so many people have been asking me about microdocing. I've
Speaker 1: mentioned it a few times on the pod, so Pamela, Absolutely,
Speaker 1: it is something that I am very excited about. I
Speaker 1: truly believe in it. I do suggest for you to
Speaker 1: watch some videos on YouTube, do your research, and I
Speaker 1: want to do a full episode on this. I'm not
Speaker 1: an expert by any means. I just know that I
Speaker 1: love how I feel since I've been taking and since
Speaker 1: I've been doing psychedelics microdocing. So I'm gonna get an
Speaker 1: expert for us. I'm gonna find someone that we can
Speaker 1: really dive deep into this. But all I can tell
Speaker 1: you is do your research, look at some stuff. They
Speaker 1: even have some stuff in documentaries on Netflix that I've watched,
Speaker 1: and it's called how to Change Your Mind. And then
Speaker 1: there's another one that is called have a Good Trip.
Speaker 1: I haven't watched that one yet, but I know it
Speaker 1: has to do with psychedelics. So those are the two
Speaker 1: that I would tell you. Pamelatical ahead and watch if
Speaker 1: anyone is interested. Do your research, you guys, go on YouTube.
Speaker 1: But it does wonders for yes, your confidence, for your depression,
Speaker 1: for anxiety, and media. My boyfriend had a lot of anxiety,
Speaker 1: and since we've been doing it, we do it together.
Speaker 1: We pray together every like three days. We take two
Speaker 1: pills and you don't feel crazy. You don't feel like
Speaker 1: you are hallucinating. It's nothing like that. If you take
Speaker 1: a lot, then that's a different story. But literally, we're
Speaker 1: micro dosing. So we do it together and it's helped
Speaker 1: our relationship. It's helped his anxiety so much. Even the depression,
Speaker 1: you guys, and me too, I don't feel as sad.
Speaker 1: I just I feel different. I don't even know how
Speaker 1: to explain it. And I call it like it's a
Speaker 1: flesh of God. It comes from the earth, so it's
Speaker 1: something supernatural. So anyways, Pamela, that's what I recommend. I
Speaker 1: will do a full episode on this as soon as
Speaker 1: I find the right person to really dive deep because
Speaker 1: I know it helps on a cell your level. But
Speaker 1: that's all I know. Okay, So Misty, Autumn, Stellbell, and Pamela,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, thank you for submitting your questions,
Speaker 1: and thank you for listening to both my podcast Dear
Speaker 1: Cheeks and Cheeks and Chill. If you guys find yourself
Speaker 1: wrestling with an issue, I'd love to help. Please leave
Speaker 1: your questions at speakpipe dot com Slash Cheeks and Chill podcast.
Speaker 1: I'll see you next week. This is a production of
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