WEBVTT - Tom Daley, 5x Olympic Medalist

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<v Speaker 1>Hey guys, welcome to I've never said this before with me.

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<v Speaker 1>Tommy de Dario, one of the greatest athletes in the world,

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<v Speaker 1>joins my show today and man, what a conversation you

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<v Speaker 1>are about to hear. The five time Olympic medalist Tom

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<v Speaker 1>Daily dove his way into the studio. See what I

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<v Speaker 1>did there. It's a chat all about his incredible life.

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<v Speaker 1>His new documentary, Tom Daily one point six Seconds is

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<v Speaker 1>out now and we are covering it all. Tom's giving

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<v Speaker 1>us a really intimate look at the challenges of growing

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<v Speaker 1>up in the public eye and facing physical and mental

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<v Speaker 1>pressures of being his country's big metal hope. He emotionally

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<v Speaker 1>discusses losing his father Roberts, cancer, and coming out in

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<v Speaker 1>the media, and of course he opens up about making

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<v Speaker 1>the decision to retire from the competition at the age

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<v Speaker 1>of thirty, and so much more. Tom's not only a

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<v Speaker 1>sporting legend, but he's a champion for important social issues

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<v Speaker 1>and he has shaped the world far beyond what I

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<v Speaker 1>imagine he even thought was possible. And a big shout

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<v Speaker 1>out to Travel Guard, my personal sponsor for today's episode.

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<v Speaker 1>Their mission it's to make sure we safely say hello

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<v Speaker 1>dot com for more information on that. And let's see

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<v Speaker 1>if today we can get Tom to say something that

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<v Speaker 1>he has never said before. Tom Daily, how are you,

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<v Speaker 1>my friend?

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<v Speaker 2>I am doing alright, you know, a little bit tired,

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<v Speaker 2>but nothing like I've ever been before since.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you look refreshed off of the plane. I know.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like this last week or so, I've just

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<v Speaker 2>been traveling here, there and everywhere. But it's been good.

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<v Speaker 2>It's been nice to be able to, you know, just

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<v Speaker 2>get out and about and you know, explore a little.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and for good reason you're traveling. You have an

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<v Speaker 1>amazing documentary which we're going to get to, of course,

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<v Speaker 1>but I have to start by telling you I'm a

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<v Speaker 1>little disappointed. Oh no, I really thought you'd be sitting

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<v Speaker 1>across from me. We knitwhere, yes, or knitting a new project,

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<v Speaker 1>and here you are without it. And I don't understand

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<v Speaker 1>why you decided to show up and not do that,

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<v Speaker 1>but I'll have to get over it.

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<v Speaker 2>I know double denim instead. Although I do have my

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<v Speaker 2>knitting in my bag, so not with me here, but

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<v Speaker 2>it's in the car so I do carry it with

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<v Speaker 2>me absolutely everywhere, which sometimes I get some weird looks

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<v Speaker 2>coming through TSA with a whole set of knitting needles,

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<v Speaker 2>because they you know, if you were to scan that

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<v Speaker 2>it might look slightly weird.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm surprised you can bring big needles through the TSA.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and scissors as long as they're smaller than four inches.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh good to know, Good to know. I still laugh

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<v Speaker 1>about that photo when I saw you in the stands

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<v Speaker 1>knitting your your sweater was it?

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<v Speaker 2>I was knitting in total, I was nitting this like cardigan. Basically,

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<v Speaker 2>I started knitting because my coach told me that I

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<v Speaker 2>was always on the go, always, I never just sat still,

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<v Speaker 2>and that I wasn't very good at resting and recovering.

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<v Speaker 2>So was then my husband, who said to me, why

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<v Speaker 2>don't you try knitting because people on film sets he

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<v Speaker 2>works in film and TV, like, why don't you try knitting?

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<v Speaker 2>And I was like, you know, okay, sure, why not.

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<v Speaker 2>So I got my needles, got my yarn, went onto

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<v Speaker 2>the YouTube University and taught myself out to knit, and

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<v Speaker 2>I've he it became my obsession honestly.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah, I feel like it's really good for anxiety too.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, I'm able like this is the one time

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<v Speaker 2>of the day where my mind is completely quiet and

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<v Speaker 2>I love that, and it like I'm able to pass

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<v Speaker 2>so much time I can be really present. I genuinely

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<v Speaker 2>think that knitting was my superpower and the reason why

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<v Speaker 2>I was able to win Ann't be Gone medal in

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<v Speaker 2>Tokyo because it was like, during like the COVID Olympics,

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<v Speaker 2>there was so much time to overthink everything, and you know,

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<v Speaker 2>knitting kind of like took that away. So yeah, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>grateful for knitting.

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<v Speaker 1>That's so cool. Well, there is something about that keeps

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<v Speaker 1>you super present, right, which is I feel like anyone

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<v Speaker 1>who wants to be successful at anything has to have

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<v Speaker 1>that mindset.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think you have to be able to be

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<v Speaker 2>extremely present focused on the process and enjoy the process

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<v Speaker 2>as well, because although yes, you want to have a

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<v Speaker 2>successful outcome, that's not always the case. So as long

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<v Speaker 2>as you can enjoy the process, it's still worth it regardless.

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<v Speaker 1>Good for you, man, Well, your documentary one point six

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<v Speaker 1>seconds is beautiful. Oh beautiful. I watched it with my husband.

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<v Speaker 1>We just we absolutely loved it and thought it was

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<v Speaker 1>so raw and open and you know, vulnerable and emotional.

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<v Speaker 1>So I guess to kick this off, why was this

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<v Speaker 1>the right time in your life to put something like

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<v Speaker 1>that out.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean the production company came to me in

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<v Speaker 2>twenty twenty three. I want to say it was two

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<v Speaker 2>years after the Tokyo Olympics, because I hadn't died for

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<v Speaker 2>two years at that point, I thought I was retired,

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<v Speaker 2>and they came to me right at the time when

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<v Speaker 2>I was deciding maybe I should come back for one

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<v Speaker 2>more Olympic Games in Paris so that my kids could

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<v Speaker 2>see me compete. And I think the big thing for

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<v Speaker 2>me was I had no idea that so much of

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<v Speaker 2>the archival footage existed that my dad had filmed, so

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<v Speaker 2>lots of the documentary was me seeing things for the

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<v Speaker 2>very first time, and I don't know, retirement was on

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<v Speaker 2>the card. So I like being able to sum up

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<v Speaker 2>my whole career and then also be able to have

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<v Speaker 2>something so that my kids in the future can look

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<v Speaker 2>back and see everything that their papa like achieved and did.

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<v Speaker 2>There was something about that that I was excited so

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<v Speaker 2>that they could see everything in one place.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow. I mean, it's remarkable you've accomplished. You began diving

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<v Speaker 1>around seventy eight, right, you went to the Olympics at fourteen. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>you won your first World champion at fifteen. Yes, that's

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of action very early on in your life,

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<v Speaker 1>and you became known as this kind of prodigy diver. Right,

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<v Speaker 1>So as you're in this new chapter of your life,

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<v Speaker 1>who is Tom Daily without that?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh gosh, good question. And I still feel like I'm

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<v Speaker 2>figuring that out because diving was such a big part

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<v Speaker 2>of my life from the age of seven up until

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<v Speaker 2>I was thirty. So there's like now that retirement. It's

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<v Speaker 2>weird to say the our word retirement because I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, yes, I'm retired, but it's only from like

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<v Speaker 2>my first career in diving. Because now I'm like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>what am I going to do with my day. I

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<v Speaker 2>used to know exactly what time I was waking up,

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<v Speaker 2>when I was going to have for breakfast, when I

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<v Speaker 2>was going to have my breakfast, what time I was

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<v Speaker 2>starting training, when I was going to be home, where

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<v Speaker 2>I was going to be traveling, what competition, And now

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<v Speaker 2>all of that is out the window. Routine has got.

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<v Speaker 2>The only structure I have now really is a school

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<v Speaker 2>drop off and school pickup for my kids, and that's

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<v Speaker 2>kind of the thing that I revolved my day around now.

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<v Speaker 2>But other than that, it's like everything is kind of

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<v Speaker 2>like slotted in and people are like, oh, when can

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<v Speaker 2>you do this, And I'm like, I guess whenever you want,

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<v Speaker 2>But then like I don't know because I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>what could be happening that day. Whereas before I knew

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<v Speaker 2>I was going to be training, let's say, like eight

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<v Speaker 2>till ten thirty and then one thirty till four, so

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<v Speaker 2>I knew that if there was something I was going

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<v Speaker 2>to have to do, it's either going to be in

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<v Speaker 2>and around those times, Whereas now it's kind of like

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<v Speaker 2>a you know, bitten it in there, bitten it in there,

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<v Speaker 2>and just yeah, live in my life without too many

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<v Speaker 2>routines and structures.

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<v Speaker 1>I guess, yeah, you're figuring out that person who you

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<v Speaker 1>will step into still, right, which I imagine is liberating, but

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<v Speaker 1>also probably if you're someone like me who's a little

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<v Speaker 1>type A and from watching a documentary you do like

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<v Speaker 1>routine and structure, it is also very weird.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, It's something that when I was in diving, all

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<v Speaker 2>I ever wanted to do was be like, oh, I

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<v Speaker 2>just want to break free of this structure and just

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<v Speaker 2>be able to go and do something if I want

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<v Speaker 2>to go and do it, whereas now I can, I'm like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know if I really like that, Like it

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<v Speaker 2>was liberating for a while, but then I'm like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>now I actually quite enjoyed that structure of what I'm

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<v Speaker 2>going to And it's kind of I guess lots of

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<v Speaker 2>people might have the similar thing if they're not in

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<v Speaker 2>a regular, like nine to five job. It's like when

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<v Speaker 2>do you start working, when do you stop? What do

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<v Speaker 2>you do? How often are you doing it? And then

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<v Speaker 2>you end up finding yourself incredibly busy all the time,

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<v Speaker 2>and but it's it's been good, and this past year

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<v Speaker 2>has been incredibly busy.

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<v Speaker 1>So what would you say after living such a very

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<v Speaker 1>public life and having media and the public so intertwined

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<v Speaker 1>in your personal life and professional life. What would you

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<v Speaker 1>say is one of the biggest misconceptions about you.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, I think lots of people might consider me to

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<v Speaker 2>be someone that is like very go go go all

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<v Speaker 2>about winning an Olympic gold medal. I'm very serious and

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<v Speaker 2>driven towards that, and I do think that I'm probably

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<v Speaker 2>one of the more unseerious people. And it was only

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<v Speaker 2>really as I got older that I started to care

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<v Speaker 2>less about what other people thought, so I was able

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<v Speaker 2>to be more me because you know, growing up, I

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<v Speaker 2>feel like I was always I'm such a people pleaser,

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<v Speaker 2>so I feel like I was always giving people what

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<v Speaker 2>I thought they wanted to hear from me, and what

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<v Speaker 2>they thought I wanted them to be they wanted me

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<v Speaker 2>to be. Like, So I think now I'm a lot

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<v Speaker 2>more like I have a different perspective on life. But yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I guess that's not really a misconcier. But I guess

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not just about the gold medals. Maybe.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Well, I think it's important to say that because

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<v Speaker 1>when you're such a high achiever and you have accomplished

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<v Speaker 1>so much, you can be kind of put in this

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<v Speaker 1>category of like that's your only focus, and clearly it's not.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, you're a family man, yeah, her husband. You're

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<v Speaker 1>so much more than just That's.

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<v Speaker 2>The danger though. If you want to win an Olympic

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<v Speaker 2>gold medal, if you want to be the best at

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<v Speaker 2>what you do, it can't be your only thing because

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<v Speaker 2>if it is your only thing, you put all of

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<v Speaker 2>your self worth and self esteem into that one thing

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<v Speaker 2>and what you do, and you have to realize that

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<v Speaker 2>you're more than what you do. Yeah, and what you do.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean I always say, like, you know, doing sport,

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<v Speaker 2>it's not saving lives. I'm not like a brain surgeon

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<v Speaker 2>or a heart surgeon. So if you are a heart

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<v Speaker 2>surgeon or brain surgeon, I'm sorry you do what you

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<v Speaker 2>do every day does really matter. But I always just

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<v Speaker 2>I always try to tell myself when I was sriving

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<v Speaker 2>that at the end of the day, it's just a game. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>it's just a game. Yeah, it could be monopoly with

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<v Speaker 2>your family. Yeah, the boards have been flipped with that too.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I'm very competitive, but I like to think

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<v Speaker 2>of you know, everything, you're able to be able to

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<v Speaker 2>put everything you do into perspective to make it feel

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<v Speaker 2>smaller and sometimes that's what I find to be really helpful.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, and I have to say, based off what you

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<v Speaker 1>just said, you know you're an athlete, which I would

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<v Speaker 1>argue is also a type of an artist, right, and

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<v Speaker 1>you inspire so many people to dream and go after

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<v Speaker 1>what it is they want to go after. So yes,

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<v Speaker 1>it's not brain surgery, but I would argue it is

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<v Speaker 1>equally as important because in this day and age that

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<v Speaker 1>we live in, where there can be so much doom

0:10:23.840 --> 0:10:26.640
<v Speaker 1>and gloom, you give people that light. So don't take

0:10:26.640 --> 0:10:29.280
<v Speaker 1>that away from what you do either, because it is important.

0:10:29.360 --> 0:10:31.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, But I think it's the difference is with when

0:10:31.920 --> 0:10:34.920
<v Speaker 2>you go into an Olympic Games and you know it

0:10:34.960 --> 0:10:36.679
<v Speaker 2>is the biggest thing that you've been working for. It's

0:10:36.679 --> 0:10:39.120
<v Speaker 2>what all your training has come up to for. You

0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:41.960
<v Speaker 2>train six hours a day, six days a week for

0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:45.840
<v Speaker 2>four years for that one day, and it can feel

0:10:45.880 --> 0:10:48.079
<v Speaker 2>like it is the biggest thing that's ever happened in

0:10:48.160 --> 0:10:50.960
<v Speaker 2>your life, because for the most part, it probably is

0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:53.960
<v Speaker 2>working towards that thing. But if you have that on

0:10:54.000 --> 0:10:56.880
<v Speaker 2>your plate, it is so terrifying and there's so much

0:10:56.920 --> 0:11:00.440
<v Speaker 2>pressure and anxiety that comes down to perfect those one

0:11:00.480 --> 0:11:01.680
<v Speaker 2>point six seconds.

0:11:01.320 --> 0:11:01.760
<v Speaker 1>Of a dive.

0:11:02.240 --> 0:11:05.160
<v Speaker 2>So now I if I am only thinking about that

0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:08.320
<v Speaker 2>standing down, I'm terrified. So I have to come up

0:11:08.320 --> 0:11:10.560
<v Speaker 2>with ways for myself to be able to let go

0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:14.160
<v Speaker 2>of that and break free of that, you know, anxiety

0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:16.160
<v Speaker 2>and pressure. And for me, that is just making it

0:11:16.200 --> 0:11:17.800
<v Speaker 2>feel as little and small as possible.

0:11:18.040 --> 0:11:20.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, no, that makes total sense. And I imagine having

0:11:20.160 --> 0:11:22.600
<v Speaker 1>a support system along the way has also helped with

0:11:22.720 --> 0:11:24.800
<v Speaker 1>all of that and been tremendous. And in the documentary

0:11:24.960 --> 0:11:27.480
<v Speaker 1>we see the beautiful relationship with you and your parents

0:11:27.480 --> 0:11:30.200
<v Speaker 1>and your father who was literally by your side, yeah,

0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:33.720
<v Speaker 1>for everything, and you open up about losing him and

0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:36.400
<v Speaker 1>so many people have gone through that and what that

0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:39.080
<v Speaker 1>grief was like for you, and your way to grieve

0:11:39.160 --> 0:11:41.240
<v Speaker 1>kind of was jumping back into work at first, right

0:11:41.480 --> 0:11:43.319
<v Speaker 1>and going going, going, exactly.

0:11:43.360 --> 0:11:46.800
<v Speaker 2>I wasn't very good at the whole grieving thing. I

0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:49.920
<v Speaker 2>think for lots of people, you always think of your

0:11:49.960 --> 0:11:52.360
<v Speaker 2>parents as invincible that then you know they're always going

0:11:52.440 --> 0:11:55.800
<v Speaker 2>to be around. And you know, my dad was one

0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:58.000
<v Speaker 2>of my biggest or the biggest cheerleader I had in

0:11:58.000 --> 0:11:59.760
<v Speaker 2>my life. He was there for every training session, every

0:11:59.760 --> 0:12:03.080
<v Speaker 2>common whether it was in the UK or abroad, wherever

0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:05.240
<v Speaker 2>it was. He was there with his giant Union flag,

0:12:05.280 --> 0:12:08.840
<v Speaker 2>waving it in people's faces. He didn't care. And you know,

0:12:08.840 --> 0:12:11.920
<v Speaker 2>when I lost him in twenty eleven, it was something

0:12:11.960 --> 0:12:15.400
<v Speaker 2>that was so incredibly difficult for our whole family, and

0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:16.840
<v Speaker 2>it got to a point where I was like, I

0:12:16.880 --> 0:12:20.000
<v Speaker 2>didn't know what to I didn't know what to do,

0:12:20.120 --> 0:12:22.000
<v Speaker 2>I didn't know how to cope. So I ended up

0:12:22.160 --> 0:12:25.920
<v Speaker 2>just carrying on, going right back to the diving pool,

0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:28.600
<v Speaker 2>right back into it, and not really allowing myself to

0:12:28.640 --> 0:12:31.400
<v Speaker 2>have time to think about what was coming next. And

0:12:32.040 --> 0:12:35.560
<v Speaker 2>for me, it was only when I met my husband

0:12:35.640 --> 0:12:38.319
<v Speaker 2>when he started asking me like, why don't you speak

0:12:38.320 --> 0:12:40.640
<v Speaker 2>about your dad? Why don't you do anything that celebrates

0:12:40.720 --> 0:12:42.880
<v Speaker 2>him in that way? And I think it was always

0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:45.160
<v Speaker 2>because you know, as British people were very like, we

0:12:45.160 --> 0:12:47.679
<v Speaker 2>don't want to talk about anything. We're very like, you know,

0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:49.400
<v Speaker 2>we're going to go from one thing to the next

0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:51.200
<v Speaker 2>and not really talk about our feelings. So it took

0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:52.720
<v Speaker 2>me a while to actually get to a point where

0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:56.400
<v Speaker 2>I felt like I was able to really open up

0:12:56.440 --> 0:12:59.120
<v Speaker 2>and let that guard down, because you know, you just

0:12:59.160 --> 0:13:00.600
<v Speaker 2>want to keep going on. You don't want to make

0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:02.079
<v Speaker 2>the other I always just felt like I didn't want

0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:05.240
<v Speaker 2>to make other people feel uncomfortable with my with my issues.

0:13:05.280 --> 0:13:07.200
<v Speaker 1>If you like, it's not funny you were more worried

0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:09.640
<v Speaker 1>about other people than processing what you were going through.

0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:12.600
<v Speaker 2>I know. It's like that's just where I'm quite a

0:13:12.640 --> 0:13:15.560
<v Speaker 2>people pleaser. So I always just a'm like, yeah, yeah, sure,

0:13:15.640 --> 0:13:19.080
<v Speaker 2>do no worries, and you know, sometimes that's that's something

0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:22.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm trying to work on a little bit more. But

0:13:22.280 --> 0:13:25.600
<v Speaker 2>it's something that I uh, it's for the longest of times,

0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:28.200
<v Speaker 2>I was very much just wanting I think that comes

0:13:28.200 --> 0:13:31.120
<v Speaker 2>from growing up gay as well. It's like you always

0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:35.240
<v Speaker 2>just want to make sure people don't find out that

0:13:35.360 --> 0:13:37.679
<v Speaker 2>thing about you that might make them hate you. And

0:13:38.080 --> 0:13:41.040
<v Speaker 2>you know, I was always trying to just be the

0:13:41.280 --> 0:13:43.640
<v Speaker 2>you know, I feel like it's the I don't know

0:13:43.640 --> 0:13:44.920
<v Speaker 2>if this is what they call, but it's like the

0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:47.840
<v Speaker 2>best little boy syndrome. You know, you want to be

0:13:47.920 --> 0:13:50.320
<v Speaker 2>like the best that you can be so that they

0:13:50.559 --> 0:13:53.000
<v Speaker 2>didn't care who you were or they didn't read too

0:13:53.040 --> 0:13:55.640
<v Speaker 2>much into any of that. And it's so I think

0:13:55.640 --> 0:13:59.800
<v Speaker 2>that's just the era of growing up then was a

0:13:59.800 --> 0:14:00.280
<v Speaker 2>bit of a.

0:14:00.280 --> 0:14:02.559
<v Speaker 1>Challenge yeah, yeah, for sure. And that's something I think

0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:06.000
<v Speaker 1>we kind of by default as gay men, still experience

0:14:06.080 --> 0:14:08.959
<v Speaker 1>as we continue going through this life in little moments,

0:14:09.000 --> 0:14:10.680
<v Speaker 1>and then we have to check ourselves like, oh wait, no,

0:14:10.720 --> 0:14:12.440
<v Speaker 1>I don't need to still think like that or act

0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:14.000
<v Speaker 1>like that, because it is something that we were kind

0:14:14.040 --> 0:14:16.120
<v Speaker 1>of brought up to be, Like, yeah, and I grew up.

0:14:16.040 --> 0:14:17.640
<v Speaker 2>In a small town. I'm not sure where did you

0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:18.000
<v Speaker 2>grow up?

0:14:18.040 --> 0:14:19.600
<v Speaker 1>Small town? Yeah?

0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:22.160
<v Speaker 2>See, I grew up in Plymouth in the southwest of

0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:26.600
<v Speaker 2>the UK, and I didn't know of I didn't know

0:14:26.680 --> 0:14:30.040
<v Speaker 2>anyone gay like I, you know, you saw you know,

0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:34.640
<v Speaker 2>Will and Grace or any kind of gay person. Was

0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:38.560
<v Speaker 2>extremely flamboyant, and lots of people on the in Plymouth

0:14:38.600 --> 0:14:42.640
<v Speaker 2>would talk very you know, in derogatory terms around these people.

0:14:42.680 --> 0:14:44.400
<v Speaker 2>So I was like, oh my gosh, Like, well, you're

0:14:44.400 --> 0:14:46.360
<v Speaker 2>growing up and you realize that thing about you that

0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:49.600
<v Speaker 2>is so what society tells you is wrong. You always

0:14:49.600 --> 0:14:52.600
<v Speaker 2>want to try and overcompensate for that. And yeah, I

0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:55.120
<v Speaker 2>think that always will stick with you, like you say, forever,

0:14:55.280 --> 0:14:57.800
<v Speaker 2>even as you get older. You like, there's sometimes I'm like,

0:14:57.800 --> 0:14:59.160
<v Speaker 2>oh my gosh, like I can't believe I did that

0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:00.800
<v Speaker 2>or can't believe I said that, what are other people

0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:04.800
<v Speaker 2>going to think? And I'm really hopeful for this next

0:15:04.840 --> 0:15:08.440
<v Speaker 2>generation that you know, people can just grow up just

0:15:08.480 --> 0:15:12.480
<v Speaker 2>being themselves and have parents and family members around them

0:15:12.480 --> 0:15:13.720
<v Speaker 2>that just love them for who they are.

0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:14.640
<v Speaker 1>Wouldn't that be nice?

0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:15.480
<v Speaker 2>Wouldn't it be lovely?

0:15:15.600 --> 0:15:16.760
<v Speaker 1>That would be so nice.

0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:19.240
<v Speaker 2>I always just you know, like and also just the

0:15:19.280 --> 0:15:21.680
<v Speaker 2>fact that I find it weird that people care so

0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:24.680
<v Speaker 2>much about what people get up to in their private

0:15:24.720 --> 0:15:27.040
<v Speaker 2>life anyway, Like, if you're a good athlete, you're a

0:15:27.080 --> 0:15:29.840
<v Speaker 2>good athlete. Yeah, if you're a good podcast host, you

0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:32.080
<v Speaker 2>a good podcast. It doesn't matter, right, Like, it does

0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:35.280
<v Speaker 2>not matter about like anything else. If you get it,

0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:36.800
<v Speaker 2>what you do surrender us.

0:15:43.320 --> 0:15:45.520
<v Speaker 1>Well, I think it's really cool that you were in

0:15:45.560 --> 0:15:49.000
<v Speaker 1>this high profile career, everybody was in your business and

0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:52.120
<v Speaker 1>you still allowed yourself the chance to find love and

0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:55.600
<v Speaker 1>be who you knew you were always meant to be, right,

0:15:55.720 --> 0:15:59.000
<v Speaker 1>and you did meet your husband, which I feel like

0:15:59.040 --> 0:16:01.320
<v Speaker 1>a wink face is is what needs to be given

0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:02.920
<v Speaker 1>all the credit for why you twour together.

0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:08.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, the night we met, it was actually funny because

0:16:09.120 --> 0:16:11.640
<v Speaker 2>it wasn't him that came over and asked for my number.

0:16:13.160 --> 0:16:17.160
<v Speaker 2>It was my well, it was his assistant. He was

0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:23.280
<v Speaker 2>very cute. Came over and Gate said, oh, Lance wants

0:16:23.320 --> 0:16:25.680
<v Speaker 2>your your number, can you put it in? And I

0:16:25.680 --> 0:16:28.400
<v Speaker 2>was like, yeah, sure, So I put my number in

0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:30.280
<v Speaker 2>and then put a winky face at the end of it.

0:16:30.320 --> 0:16:34.240
<v Speaker 2>And that's when Lance said that no heterosexual man would

0:16:34.280 --> 0:16:36.160
<v Speaker 2>ever put a winky face at the end of their number.

0:16:37.240 --> 0:16:41.040
<v Speaker 2>And that's when he knew. And that was twelve and

0:16:41.120 --> 0:16:44.400
<v Speaker 2>a bit years ago. Now, wow, just crazy wow.

0:16:44.440 --> 0:16:46.240
<v Speaker 1>And you weren't out to the public at the time.

0:16:46.400 --> 0:16:49.760
<v Speaker 2>No, I wasn't, which was again a really scary thing

0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:54.200
<v Speaker 2>because like growing up in the UK, it was like

0:16:54.320 --> 0:16:56.720
<v Speaker 2>every single decision, every single thing that I did, was

0:16:56.840 --> 0:16:59.120
<v Speaker 2>under some kind of media scrutiny. Like I had to

0:16:59.520 --> 0:17:01.760
<v Speaker 2>know coming back from my first Olympics at fourteen, going

0:17:01.800 --> 0:17:04.879
<v Speaker 2>back to school and dealing with bullying and the whole

0:17:05.200 --> 0:17:07.520
<v Speaker 2>the UK, knowing that I was going through that, the

0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:09.280
<v Speaker 2>whole of the UK, knowing that I'd lost my dad,

0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:10.840
<v Speaker 2>all of these things that I was having to deal

0:17:10.920 --> 0:17:14.360
<v Speaker 2>with quite publicly, and now, you know, falling in love

0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:15.960
<v Speaker 2>and being like, oh my gosh, what am I going

0:17:16.000 --> 0:17:18.840
<v Speaker 2>to do here now? Because growing up is tough enough anyway,

0:17:18.880 --> 0:17:21.119
<v Speaker 2>but then having to like explore your sexuality in a

0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:24.000
<v Speaker 2>kind of hidden way and not really knowing what you

0:17:24.040 --> 0:17:26.480
<v Speaker 2>can do. You don't want to get caught. But then

0:17:26.520 --> 0:17:29.240
<v Speaker 2>also you don't want to be ashamed of who you are.

0:17:29.400 --> 0:17:31.200
<v Speaker 2>You don't want other people to think you're a shape.

0:17:31.240 --> 0:17:33.960
<v Speaker 2>So it was really like there was so much going

0:17:34.000 --> 0:17:36.080
<v Speaker 2>through my head at that point. It was it was

0:17:36.119 --> 0:17:38.920
<v Speaker 2>a really challenging time, and I felt like that was

0:17:38.960 --> 0:17:41.000
<v Speaker 2>why I decided to come out in the end of

0:17:41.000 --> 0:17:43.840
<v Speaker 2>twenty thirteen, because I'd met Lance in the march. I

0:17:43.960 --> 0:17:46.560
<v Speaker 2>told my friends and family, and it got to the

0:17:46.600 --> 0:17:49.879
<v Speaker 2>point where I was asked in an interview what I

0:17:50.000 --> 0:17:53.080
<v Speaker 2>thought of you know, or they said something like, what,

0:17:53.320 --> 0:17:56.719
<v Speaker 2>you have lots of gay fans. Why do you think

0:17:56.760 --> 0:17:58.159
<v Speaker 2>that is? And I was like, well, probably because I'm

0:17:58.200 --> 0:18:00.880
<v Speaker 2>half naked all the time, people that wear more close

0:18:00.920 --> 0:18:04.359
<v Speaker 2>to bed than they do to work. So then they

0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:05.840
<v Speaker 2>were like, okay, what about the people that think that

0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:07.400
<v Speaker 2>you're gay? And I was like, what does it matter

0:18:07.440 --> 0:18:10.480
<v Speaker 2>if I am? Like, it doesn't matter, And then the

0:18:10.520 --> 0:18:12.080
<v Speaker 2>headline was that I am not gay, but I don't

0:18:12.119 --> 0:18:15.280
<v Speaker 2>care if you think I am, and I was so like,

0:18:16.640 --> 0:18:18.879
<v Speaker 2>I was like really frustrated that that had kind of

0:18:18.880 --> 0:18:21.159
<v Speaker 2>been taken that way. So then I got to a

0:18:21.200 --> 0:18:22.439
<v Speaker 2>point I was like, you know what, it's time to

0:18:22.440 --> 0:18:24.240
<v Speaker 2>come out. And I came out in a way that

0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:27.840
<v Speaker 2>was the way that I knew how and that was

0:18:28.080 --> 0:18:31.399
<v Speaker 2>through YouTube or through social media, because I didn't want

0:18:31.400 --> 0:18:33.600
<v Speaker 2>anybody to ask any follow up questions. I didn't want

0:18:33.600 --> 0:18:35.440
<v Speaker 2>anybody to twist my words. I just wanted to be

0:18:35.480 --> 0:18:37.119
<v Speaker 2>able to say exactly what I wanted to say at

0:18:37.119 --> 0:18:40.439
<v Speaker 2>the time. And I think there was something that became

0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:43.160
<v Speaker 2>to be quite powerful, and I believe now it's very

0:18:43.160 --> 0:18:45.639
<v Speaker 2>powerful with social media, is being able to have a

0:18:45.680 --> 0:18:48.199
<v Speaker 2>little bit more control over your narrative and not just

0:18:48.280 --> 0:18:50.960
<v Speaker 2>kind of letting other people take control of that.

0:18:51.240 --> 0:18:53.560
<v Speaker 1>And I love that you did that, even when I

0:18:53.600 --> 0:18:56.000
<v Speaker 1>believe it was your management team at first was not

0:18:56.400 --> 0:18:59.240
<v Speaker 1>for you being out, Yeah right, No, No, it was.

0:18:59.720 --> 0:19:02.119
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I was really terrified about coming out because I

0:19:02.160 --> 0:19:04.280
<v Speaker 2>was told i'd lose sponsorship. I was told I would

0:19:04.600 --> 0:19:07.399
<v Speaker 2>not be able to compete in certain countries, and it

0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:10.679
<v Speaker 2>was really kind of like they had built it up

0:19:10.720 --> 0:19:12.920
<v Speaker 2>that it was going to be like, you know, apocalyptic,

0:19:13.040 --> 0:19:16.200
<v Speaker 2>and I you know, any coming out is hard enough

0:19:16.200 --> 0:19:18.680
<v Speaker 2>anyway for anyone, no matter if you're in a place

0:19:18.680 --> 0:19:21.720
<v Speaker 2>where it's super easy to come out or but it's

0:19:22.040 --> 0:19:23.960
<v Speaker 2>it really felt like it was going to It was

0:19:24.000 --> 0:19:25.639
<v Speaker 2>like coming up to this cliff where I was like, well,

0:19:25.680 --> 0:19:28.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm just this is this is the edge, and I

0:19:28.440 --> 0:19:30.359
<v Speaker 2>am about to post this video and I have no

0:19:30.520 --> 0:19:33.960
<v Speaker 2>idea what is going to be what's going to happen

0:19:34.000 --> 0:19:37.639
<v Speaker 2>on the other side of this, And the reception was

0:19:37.720 --> 0:19:40.200
<v Speaker 2>overwhelmingly positive. I mean, of course you can always get

0:19:40.280 --> 0:19:44.160
<v Speaker 2>a few like derogatory things, but it was overwhelmingly positive.

0:19:44.160 --> 0:19:45.600
<v Speaker 2>And I felt for the first time I could go

0:19:45.600 --> 0:19:49.160
<v Speaker 2>into a competition, go into training, and just have that

0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:51.520
<v Speaker 2>weight lifted off of me. And I felt that it

0:19:51.560 --> 0:19:53.600
<v Speaker 2>was like so nice to be able to just have

0:19:53.720 --> 0:19:56.080
<v Speaker 2>that be just feel like I could just be me.

0:19:56.400 --> 0:19:59.040
<v Speaker 1>What a gift you gave yourself in that moment, even

0:19:59.080 --> 0:20:01.480
<v Speaker 1>though you were scared and probably a little uneasy of

0:20:01.480 --> 0:20:03.400
<v Speaker 1>what this would mean for your professional career you work

0:20:03.480 --> 0:20:06.240
<v Speaker 1>so hard for, but you still allow yourself to go

0:20:06.359 --> 0:20:10.600
<v Speaker 1>forward and openly speak your truth, which I think is

0:20:10.640 --> 0:20:13.720
<v Speaker 1>really hard and really admirable for so many people listening

0:20:13.800 --> 0:20:16.200
<v Speaker 1>right now who might be in a position we both were,

0:20:16.400 --> 0:20:19.120
<v Speaker 1>you know, years ago, who are struggling with their identity

0:20:19.200 --> 0:20:21.959
<v Speaker 1>or their sexuality. What would you say to them?

0:20:22.160 --> 0:20:25.080
<v Speaker 2>I would say, find So I have my best friend,

0:20:25.119 --> 0:20:28.119
<v Speaker 2>Sophie was the first person that I told, and I

0:20:28.160 --> 0:20:32.159
<v Speaker 2>would say, find your Sophie, find your person that you

0:20:32.200 --> 0:20:36.159
<v Speaker 2>can confide in. And because saying it out loud to

0:20:36.240 --> 0:20:42.640
<v Speaker 2>one other person changes everything keeping I kept so much

0:20:42.680 --> 0:20:46.840
<v Speaker 2>to myself for the longest time, and I found it

0:20:47.000 --> 0:20:52.000
<v Speaker 2>so difficult to just live each day without having to

0:20:52.640 --> 0:20:54.600
<v Speaker 2>think about every single thing. I'd said, what happens if

0:20:54.600 --> 0:20:56.199
<v Speaker 2>I do this, what happens if I say something in

0:20:56.200 --> 0:20:58.400
<v Speaker 2>this kind of way, and just being able to say

0:20:58.440 --> 0:21:02.000
<v Speaker 2>it to one person just allows you to be Like,

0:21:02.040 --> 0:21:03.960
<v Speaker 2>if you can be your one hundred percent yourself with

0:21:04.000 --> 0:21:08.480
<v Speaker 2>one person, it just allows you to just finally live

0:21:08.880 --> 0:21:11.080
<v Speaker 2>like because I would have then times where Sophie would

0:21:11.080 --> 0:21:12.639
<v Speaker 2>come over and we would have like din and I

0:21:12.640 --> 0:21:15.080
<v Speaker 2>could just be me. Not that I would be any different,

0:21:15.200 --> 0:21:19.280
<v Speaker 2>but I just never had to worry about anything like

0:21:19.359 --> 0:21:22.280
<v Speaker 2>slipping up or like saying something or whatever it may

0:21:22.280 --> 0:21:24.640
<v Speaker 2>have been. And so I would say I would encourage

0:21:24.640 --> 0:21:27.440
<v Speaker 2>people to be able to find that person that they

0:21:27.440 --> 0:21:28.399
<v Speaker 2>can really confide in.

0:21:28.560 --> 0:21:30.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, even if they're not ready to tell everybody, just

0:21:30.520 --> 0:21:32.640
<v Speaker 1>having someone is so important.

0:21:32.320 --> 0:21:34.119
<v Speaker 2>Someone that they can trust, just to be able to

0:21:34.840 --> 0:21:37.280
<v Speaker 2>you know, really, you know. And of course it takes

0:21:37.320 --> 0:21:39.200
<v Speaker 2>time and it's difficult to find those people and I'm

0:21:39.200 --> 0:21:40.919
<v Speaker 2>really lucky to have had those people around me.

0:21:41.200 --> 0:21:42.760
<v Speaker 1>That's amazing. I love that, and I love that we

0:21:42.840 --> 0:21:45.080
<v Speaker 1>see in this documentary so much about that because it

0:21:45.160 --> 0:21:47.760
<v Speaker 1>is an important piece of your life and your story

0:21:47.800 --> 0:21:49.120
<v Speaker 1>that I think a lot of people will be able

0:21:49.200 --> 0:21:51.920
<v Speaker 1>to relate to. And you open up about so many

0:21:51.920 --> 0:21:53.800
<v Speaker 1>other things. And I don't want to go into everything

0:21:53.800 --> 0:21:56.000
<v Speaker 1>because people need to watch it. But one of the

0:21:56.000 --> 0:21:58.639
<v Speaker 1>things that definitely struck me was your relationship with body.

0:21:58.920 --> 0:22:00.679
<v Speaker 1>And I think as men, we don't talk about that

0:22:00.760 --> 0:22:04.040
<v Speaker 1>a lot. And I thought that was really cool you

0:22:04.080 --> 0:22:06.840
<v Speaker 1>put it out there, and also really sad that somebody

0:22:06.880 --> 0:22:09.560
<v Speaker 1>professionally made you think that something was wrong with you

0:22:09.960 --> 0:22:10.919
<v Speaker 1>at a certain point.

0:22:11.040 --> 0:22:13.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I got it. Was like right before the London

0:22:13.640 --> 0:22:16.640
<v Speaker 2>twenty twelve Olympics, my performance director said that I needed

0:22:16.640 --> 0:22:18.280
<v Speaker 2>to lose weight and that I was overweight and he

0:22:18.320 --> 0:22:19.840
<v Speaker 2>wanted to need to look more like I did in

0:22:19.880 --> 0:22:21.920
<v Speaker 2>two thousand and eight, but I mean I was coming

0:22:22.000 --> 0:22:24.680
<v Speaker 2>up for eighteen and in twentyd and eight, I was fourteen,

0:22:25.000 --> 0:22:26.560
<v Speaker 2>and I'm you know, an eighteen year old's never going

0:22:26.600 --> 0:22:29.119
<v Speaker 2>to look like a fourteen year old again. And it

0:22:29.200 --> 0:22:31.200
<v Speaker 2>was the first time that people I felt like people

0:22:31.200 --> 0:22:33.639
<v Speaker 2>were looking at my body more in not just a

0:22:33.680 --> 0:22:37.640
<v Speaker 2>performance way, as the way that it looked. And ever

0:22:37.720 --> 0:22:40.160
<v Speaker 2>since then I kind of spiraled into this not really

0:22:40.200 --> 0:22:41.720
<v Speaker 2>knowing what to do with that. I didn't have the

0:22:41.800 --> 0:22:45.400
<v Speaker 2>nutritional information I didn't have, and I didn't really want

0:22:45.400 --> 0:22:48.440
<v Speaker 2>to bring too much up with my psychologists because men

0:22:48.480 --> 0:22:51.080
<v Speaker 2>didn't have eating disorders. Men didn't have any problems with,

0:22:51.640 --> 0:22:53.840
<v Speaker 2>you know, struggling to figure out what they should or

0:22:53.840 --> 0:22:57.040
<v Speaker 2>shouldn't eat, and then not eating and then eating too

0:22:57.119 --> 0:23:00.320
<v Speaker 2>much and then completely binging and then have to do

0:23:00.400 --> 0:23:02.280
<v Speaker 2>feeling so guilty you have to do something about that,

0:23:02.440 --> 0:23:05.719
<v Speaker 2>and then it kind of just spiraled from there. And

0:23:05.760 --> 0:23:10.480
<v Speaker 2>what was hard is because I know rationally that I

0:23:10.520 --> 0:23:12.879
<v Speaker 2>know that I'm doing fine and it's all good, but

0:23:13.359 --> 0:23:15.000
<v Speaker 2>there's just this thing in the back of your head

0:23:15.040 --> 0:23:16.960
<v Speaker 2>that makes you question every single thing that you eat,

0:23:17.000 --> 0:23:19.560
<v Speaker 2>every single thing that you do, feeling guilty for like

0:23:19.720 --> 0:23:22.880
<v Speaker 2>feeling like you. And I would weigh myself every single day.

0:23:23.000 --> 0:23:25.000
<v Speaker 2>The coaches would make me weigh myself and if you

0:23:25.040 --> 0:23:26.480
<v Speaker 2>weren't at the right way, you'd have to go and

0:23:27.200 --> 0:23:29.199
<v Speaker 2>run until you lost weight. And it was all of

0:23:29.240 --> 0:23:33.760
<v Speaker 2>these things and it really created an unhealthy body image

0:23:33.920 --> 0:23:37.040
<v Speaker 2>thing where And also there's such high standards when it

0:23:37.040 --> 0:23:40.840
<v Speaker 2>comes to things on social media, and it's and no

0:23:40.840 --> 0:23:44.600
<v Speaker 2>matter how rationally you can think in being able to

0:23:44.640 --> 0:23:48.880
<v Speaker 2>say I'm doing fine, like we're good, there's always something.

0:23:49.000 --> 0:23:50.879
<v Speaker 2>There's always something in the back of your head. And

0:23:50.920 --> 0:23:52.800
<v Speaker 2>I know people think, oh, gosh, he's doing all right,

0:23:52.880 --> 0:23:57.080
<v Speaker 2>like boohoo, poor you. But like I know rationally that yes,

0:23:57.720 --> 0:24:00.399
<v Speaker 2>I know, but it's not as simple as that, and

0:24:00.440 --> 0:24:03.520
<v Speaker 2>it wouldn't be like and that's something that I've had

0:24:03.560 --> 0:24:05.879
<v Speaker 2>to It's been one of my biggest struggles in my life, honestly,

0:24:05.960 --> 0:24:10.720
<v Speaker 2>with body image. And I know that seems extreme to say,

0:24:11.200 --> 0:24:14.240
<v Speaker 2>but it's you know, when you spend your whole life

0:24:14.320 --> 0:24:17.760
<v Speaker 2>out on a platform with no clothes on, it's a

0:24:17.840 --> 0:24:21.800
<v Speaker 2>very vulnerable position to be in. And if you're you've

0:24:21.800 --> 0:24:24.160
<v Speaker 2>gone from just being able to not care at all

0:24:24.240 --> 0:24:26.360
<v Speaker 2>with what you're wearing and out competing and doing your

0:24:26.359 --> 0:24:28.320
<v Speaker 2>thing and having the time of your life to then

0:24:28.359 --> 0:24:30.080
<v Speaker 2>somebody commenting on that and you're like, oh my gosh,

0:24:30.119 --> 0:24:32.200
<v Speaker 2>people are looking at me like that was the first

0:24:32.240 --> 0:24:35.960
<v Speaker 2>time that I didn't I thought, oh god, Like every

0:24:36.000 --> 0:24:38.240
<v Speaker 2>time I go out there, people are looking at if

0:24:38.240 --> 0:24:41.639
<v Speaker 2>I'm fat or not. And it played with my head

0:24:41.720 --> 0:24:44.240
<v Speaker 2>like really bad for a really long time. And I

0:24:44.280 --> 0:24:46.479
<v Speaker 2>feel like I'm getting better with it now, but you know,

0:24:46.560 --> 0:24:48.560
<v Speaker 2>it's still plays on my mind.

0:24:48.760 --> 0:24:50.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's still something I'm sure you have to work

0:24:50.840 --> 0:24:53.200
<v Speaker 1>throughout certain times, right, Yeah.

0:24:53.240 --> 0:24:55.080
<v Speaker 2>And I think it's also because I've spent my whole

0:24:55.119 --> 0:24:57.439
<v Speaker 2>life as an athlete, people assume that I'm just going

0:24:57.520 --> 0:24:59.800
<v Speaker 2>to be in the best shape all year round, right,

0:25:00.080 --> 0:25:03.040
<v Speaker 2>There's no ups and downs to it. So then if

0:25:03.040 --> 0:25:05.119
<v Speaker 2>you go to like a I know this is niche,

0:25:05.160 --> 0:25:07.720
<v Speaker 2>but like if you go to a photo shoot or

0:25:07.720 --> 0:25:09.240
<v Speaker 2>you go to anything like that, and then they're like,

0:25:09.280 --> 0:25:11.480
<v Speaker 2>oh yeah, well you like take your top off and

0:25:11.480 --> 0:25:15.280
<v Speaker 2>you're like, oh god, like you know, I'm And it's

0:25:15.280 --> 0:25:18.119
<v Speaker 2>hard now as a retired athlete as well, going into

0:25:18.359 --> 0:25:20.840
<v Speaker 2>anything where you're like, okay, well, normally I would be

0:25:20.840 --> 0:25:22.399
<v Speaker 2>training six hours a day, six days a week and

0:25:22.440 --> 0:25:25.399
<v Speaker 2>i'd be, you know, in pretty good condition. Now like

0:25:25.480 --> 0:25:28.359
<v Speaker 2>my training regime is not the same, and it's just

0:25:28.400 --> 0:25:31.360
<v Speaker 2>like and now everything is slightly different, and so then

0:25:31.400 --> 0:25:33.879
<v Speaker 2>you have it all kind of triggers things in different ways.

0:25:33.920 --> 0:25:36.560
<v Speaker 2>But you know, it's again, it's something that I have

0:25:36.640 --> 0:25:38.720
<v Speaker 2>to I just have to keep working well.

0:25:38.720 --> 0:25:41.480
<v Speaker 1>And I think it's important to talk about too, because

0:25:42.200 --> 0:25:44.520
<v Speaker 1>when you have a certain type of and if this

0:25:44.560 --> 0:25:47.000
<v Speaker 1>phrase isn't correct, forgive me, but what I interpret as

0:25:47.000 --> 0:25:50.320
<v Speaker 1>like a body dysmorphia, you can't control what you think.

0:25:50.400 --> 0:25:53.240
<v Speaker 1>So even someone on the outside saying, well Tom looks great,

0:25:53.400 --> 0:25:57.000
<v Speaker 1>and I don't understand, and that's just so silly that yeah, yes,

0:25:57.200 --> 0:26:00.640
<v Speaker 1>sure that's great, but you can't control what you think

0:26:00.680 --> 0:26:02.879
<v Speaker 1>when you go through something like that. And I have

0:26:02.920 --> 0:26:04.680
<v Speaker 1>a background. I came from the modeling world and I

0:26:04.720 --> 0:26:07.080
<v Speaker 1>saw it all the time, and I had agents say

0:26:07.119 --> 0:26:08.760
<v Speaker 1>to me, you know, I was a former gymnast and

0:26:08.760 --> 0:26:10.720
<v Speaker 1>they'd say your back, stupid, you're next, too fat, like

0:26:10.760 --> 0:26:13.239
<v Speaker 1>all the things that to fuck with you, and you

0:26:13.280 --> 0:26:16.800
<v Speaker 1>can't help that. It's part of when you're learning who

0:26:16.800 --> 0:26:19.120
<v Speaker 1>you are and coming to terms with who you're going

0:26:19.160 --> 0:26:22.199
<v Speaker 1>to be. Those opinions matter, yeah, and it takes a

0:26:22.200 --> 0:26:24.200
<v Speaker 1>while to shake them, sometimes totally.

0:26:24.520 --> 0:26:26.760
<v Speaker 2>And it's you know, of course, like if you were

0:26:26.800 --> 0:26:29.960
<v Speaker 2>able to think about it rationally, it wouldn't be an issue.

0:26:30.280 --> 0:26:33.560
<v Speaker 2>But that's the problem. And I think lots of men,

0:26:34.440 --> 0:26:37.880
<v Speaker 2>especially in the gay community, really do struggle with that

0:26:38.080 --> 0:26:41.440
<v Speaker 2>because they it's there's so many standards out there, and

0:26:41.480 --> 0:26:44.200
<v Speaker 2>you're always chasing that something else, and although you may

0:26:44.240 --> 0:26:49.240
<v Speaker 2>be the person that the somebody is aiming towards getting towards,

0:26:49.480 --> 0:26:52.399
<v Speaker 2>you're also then working towards getting to somebody else in

0:26:52.480 --> 0:26:55.120
<v Speaker 2>terms of like body aesthetic that you might be going for.

0:26:55.160 --> 0:26:58.520
<v Speaker 2>And it's so it's this constant thing and then you

0:26:58.560 --> 0:27:00.720
<v Speaker 2>know it's annoyay. It's that you find your like hating

0:27:00.720 --> 0:27:02.320
<v Speaker 2>the way that you look, and then you look back,

0:27:02.880 --> 0:27:05.919
<v Speaker 2>and then in two years time goes by and then

0:27:05.920 --> 0:27:07.199
<v Speaker 2>you look back, you know, like, oh my gosh, I

0:27:07.200 --> 0:27:09.280
<v Speaker 2>wish I look like that again. And then it's this

0:27:10.080 --> 0:27:12.760
<v Speaker 2>about never being happy with like where you're at. And

0:27:12.840 --> 0:27:15.320
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if that's like a constant thing around

0:27:15.480 --> 0:27:18.080
<v Speaker 2>perfectionism that I've had in sport or anything like that,

0:27:18.119 --> 0:27:22.120
<v Speaker 2>but I feel like there are more men than probably

0:27:22.160 --> 0:27:24.480
<v Speaker 2>care to admit that worry about that stuff as.

0:27:24.400 --> 0:27:26.600
<v Speaker 1>Well, one hundred percent. That's why I said earlier, it's

0:27:26.600 --> 0:27:28.800
<v Speaker 1>so important that you brought it up. And whether everybody

0:27:28.880 --> 0:27:32.040
<v Speaker 1>understands it or not, that's not your business, right because

0:27:32.040 --> 0:27:33.800
<v Speaker 1>you're speaking your truth and you hope that it can

0:27:33.840 --> 0:27:36.919
<v Speaker 1>help somebody who does go through something in a similar way.

0:27:37.640 --> 0:27:40.040
<v Speaker 1>So I think that that alone is a message we

0:27:40.080 --> 0:27:41.919
<v Speaker 1>need more of. And I'm glad that it's in the

0:27:41.960 --> 0:27:44.159
<v Speaker 1>documentary and that you got to speak about it more

0:27:44.200 --> 0:27:46.560
<v Speaker 1>today because we need that as men. We need to

0:27:46.600 --> 0:27:49.119
<v Speaker 1>stop pretending like everything's always okay and we're macho and

0:27:49.160 --> 0:27:50.960
<v Speaker 1>don't feel and go through the same shit that a

0:27:51.000 --> 0:27:53.760
<v Speaker 1>lot of women go through. It's human nature, I know.

0:27:53.800 --> 0:27:56.560
<v Speaker 2>And that's that's another thing when it came to the

0:27:56.600 --> 0:27:59.720
<v Speaker 2>grieving process and my dad, like, it's just there's always

0:27:59.760 --> 0:28:03.600
<v Speaker 2>a these stereotypes of what a man should be, and like,

0:28:03.640 --> 0:28:05.359
<v Speaker 2>at the end of the day, a man can be

0:28:05.520 --> 0:28:08.159
<v Speaker 2>so many different things, and I think we have to,

0:28:08.720 --> 0:28:11.440
<v Speaker 2>you know, embrace our emotions more. And I just really

0:28:11.440 --> 0:28:13.320
<v Speaker 2>struggle with that. I always have my guard up around

0:28:13.359 --> 0:28:13.760
<v Speaker 2>that stuff.

0:28:13.800 --> 0:28:17.160
<v Speaker 1>So, yeah, yeah, what is your relationship with grief like today?

0:28:17.280 --> 0:28:20.359
<v Speaker 1>Because it's something that again we don't speak about a lot,

0:28:20.440 --> 0:28:22.920
<v Speaker 1>and that happened. You lost your dad a while ago now,

0:28:22.960 --> 0:28:25.400
<v Speaker 1>but do you still have a relationship you're working through

0:28:25.400 --> 0:28:25.919
<v Speaker 1>with grief?

0:28:26.560 --> 0:28:30.080
<v Speaker 2>Yes, I mean grief kind of like is always there, right,

0:28:30.359 --> 0:28:34.480
<v Speaker 2>And I feel like this documentary really kind of tapped

0:28:34.520 --> 0:28:37.560
<v Speaker 2>into that in a weird kind of like therapy way.

0:28:39.000 --> 0:28:42.800
<v Speaker 2>But I still find myself I lost my granddad last year,

0:28:43.040 --> 0:28:45.880
<v Speaker 2>and I also found myself kind of like not really

0:28:45.880 --> 0:28:48.479
<v Speaker 2>acknowledging it and kind of being like, well, you know,

0:28:48.800 --> 0:28:52.360
<v Speaker 2>that happened, move on, and like not being able to.

0:28:52.640 --> 0:28:56.960
<v Speaker 2>It's almost like sometimes when things feel so bad, you

0:28:57.080 --> 0:29:00.800
<v Speaker 2>just like you don't acknowledge that it happen. And I

0:29:00.840 --> 0:29:03.320
<v Speaker 2>feel like that's almost what's happened. Even at the time,

0:29:03.360 --> 0:29:05.600
<v Speaker 2>that's what happened with my dad, Like I felt like

0:29:05.640 --> 0:29:08.239
<v Speaker 2>his memory was still so alive that it was you know,

0:29:08.280 --> 0:29:10.880
<v Speaker 2>he was still around. But now I find myself having

0:29:10.960 --> 0:29:15.080
<v Speaker 2>days where I'm like, oh, gosh, he's like not forgetting

0:29:15.120 --> 0:29:18.000
<v Speaker 2>that he was around, but like you have a day

0:29:18.000 --> 0:29:20.280
<v Speaker 2>where you don't he isn't necessarily at the front of

0:29:20.320 --> 0:29:22.719
<v Speaker 2>mine at every single moment, and you're like, oh my gosh,

0:29:22.720 --> 0:29:26.240
<v Speaker 2>Like that's and I feel bad for that, and then

0:29:26.240 --> 0:29:29.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, oh should I like, how should he be

0:29:29.320 --> 0:29:31.400
<v Speaker 2>involved in my life now that he's no longer here?

0:29:31.560 --> 0:29:34.040
<v Speaker 2>And how often should I be thinking of him? Is

0:29:34.040 --> 0:29:36.680
<v Speaker 2>that everything that I because now I'm a dad myself,

0:29:37.160 --> 0:29:40.880
<v Speaker 2>so my all my time and effort and energy goes

0:29:40.920 --> 0:29:43.440
<v Speaker 2>into them, and like, once you kind of go for

0:29:43.480 --> 0:29:47.200
<v Speaker 2>that full circle moment, it really feels I don't know,

0:29:47.280 --> 0:29:51.000
<v Speaker 2>like I understand, Like I can't even imagine what my

0:29:51.080 --> 0:29:53.640
<v Speaker 2>dad was going through finding out that he had this

0:29:53.760 --> 0:29:57.360
<v Speaker 2>terminal diagnosis. And he was thirty five when he found

0:29:57.400 --> 0:29:59.760
<v Speaker 2>out that he was he had this diagnosis, and he

0:29:59.800 --> 0:30:03.320
<v Speaker 2>died when he was forty, so, which is now being

0:30:03.360 --> 0:30:06.560
<v Speaker 2>thirty one that is so like forty is so like

0:30:07.200 --> 0:30:11.479
<v Speaker 2>incredibly young. And you know, he had three kids, Like

0:30:11.600 --> 0:30:14.760
<v Speaker 2>I was the oldest seventeen, My brother was fifteen, and

0:30:14.800 --> 0:30:17.040
<v Speaker 2>my youngest brother was twelve at the time, and so

0:30:17.080 --> 0:30:19.560
<v Speaker 2>they were really young to lose their dad. And it's

0:30:20.040 --> 0:30:23.120
<v Speaker 2>it's just yeah, I think now coming full circle and

0:30:23.160 --> 0:30:27.360
<v Speaker 2>being a parent and seeing the sacrifices that he made

0:30:27.400 --> 0:30:31.200
<v Speaker 2>for us as kids and now being able to do

0:30:31.240 --> 0:30:33.960
<v Speaker 2>the same for my children is you know, I just

0:30:34.000 --> 0:30:35.959
<v Speaker 2>hope that I have the same relationship that I did

0:30:36.040 --> 0:30:38.120
<v Speaker 2>with my dad, and I feel like I have that

0:30:38.160 --> 0:30:41.480
<v Speaker 2>with my kids, which has been so lovely. Like we

0:30:41.760 --> 0:30:45.080
<v Speaker 2>named our oldest son after my dad, so he's a Robbie,

0:30:46.440 --> 0:30:48.840
<v Speaker 2>so it's you know, yeah, it does feel like it's

0:30:48.840 --> 0:30:50.440
<v Speaker 2>and I feel like this is what the documentary kind

0:30:50.440 --> 0:30:52.280
<v Speaker 2>of did. It was like me with my dad and

0:30:52.320 --> 0:30:55.240
<v Speaker 2>kind of getting into like my life and then by

0:30:55.480 --> 0:30:57.440
<v Speaker 2>the end I was able to dive at the Olympics

0:30:57.440 --> 0:30:59.280
<v Speaker 2>in front of my kids and it kind of all

0:30:59.440 --> 0:31:00.760
<v Speaker 2>came full circle.

0:31:00.880 --> 0:31:02.720
<v Speaker 1>It was such a cool moment to see that and

0:31:02.760 --> 0:31:06.080
<v Speaker 1>the pride on your family's faces, you know when that

0:31:06.120 --> 0:31:08.920
<v Speaker 1>moment happened. It's really cool and I love that the

0:31:09.000 --> 0:31:11.600
<v Speaker 1>kids got to experience that and what a proud moment

0:31:11.720 --> 0:31:14.200
<v Speaker 1>that it must have been for them. It's it's beautiful.

0:31:14.560 --> 0:31:16.320
<v Speaker 1>Maybe got me a little emotional watching And I'm not

0:31:16.360 --> 0:31:25.440
<v Speaker 1>gonna lie. Are you tired of everybody asking you if

0:31:25.480 --> 0:31:28.120
<v Speaker 1>you're really retired? Because I know it comes up in

0:31:28.160 --> 0:31:30.400
<v Speaker 1>every interview. Are you over it? Are you tired? Or

0:31:30.400 --> 0:31:31.480
<v Speaker 1>you like, stop asking me.

0:31:31.640 --> 0:31:36.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm tired of retired? No, I know if I'm being honest, like,

0:31:36.280 --> 0:31:39.760
<v Speaker 2>if it wasn't for like the kids and like other

0:31:39.840 --> 0:31:41.880
<v Speaker 2>things and just wanting to be able to live life

0:31:41.920 --> 0:31:45.360
<v Speaker 2>while I still like can I you know, who knows.

0:31:45.400 --> 0:31:48.600
<v Speaker 2>I might have carried on, but I also like most

0:31:48.640 --> 0:31:51.520
<v Speaker 2>divers are like that, they retired between the ages of

0:31:51.520 --> 0:31:53.800
<v Speaker 2>like twenty four and twenty six. I carried on until

0:31:53.800 --> 0:31:58.120
<v Speaker 2>I was thirty, and you know, like my body kind

0:31:58.160 --> 0:32:00.920
<v Speaker 2>of was falling apart. You know, I did get to

0:32:00.920 --> 0:32:02.720
<v Speaker 2>the end of the documentary. When I first watched it,

0:32:02.720 --> 0:32:04.959
<v Speaker 2>I was like, ah, I want to do that again, like,

0:32:05.120 --> 0:32:08.200
<v Speaker 2>because there is nothing no feeling like being able to

0:32:08.240 --> 0:32:11.200
<v Speaker 2>stand on top of an Olympic platform when you're competing

0:32:11.200 --> 0:32:13.240
<v Speaker 2>at the Olympics that you work really hard for, the

0:32:13.240 --> 0:32:16.920
<v Speaker 2>adrenaline rush of it, the excitement of it, the competition

0:32:17.000 --> 0:32:18.440
<v Speaker 2>of it all, and then standing on the top of

0:32:18.440 --> 0:32:21.800
<v Speaker 2>a podium and there is no feeling like that. There

0:32:21.840 --> 0:32:25.440
<v Speaker 2>isn't that. Let's say, there's not a knitting Olympics the

0:32:25.480 --> 0:32:29.080
<v Speaker 2>way you can speed knit and get on top of

0:32:29.080 --> 0:32:30.960
<v Speaker 2>a podium. There isn't There isn't a feeling like that.

0:32:31.160 --> 0:32:34.760
<v Speaker 2>So it's definitely an adjustment to figure out what that

0:32:34.840 --> 0:32:39.600
<v Speaker 2>next thing is for me. But yeah, no, I think

0:32:39.640 --> 0:32:42.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm I'm happy right now being retired.

0:32:42.600 --> 0:32:44.480
<v Speaker 1>Would you ever consider coaching?

0:32:47.480 --> 0:32:49.400
<v Speaker 2>You know, I thought I might have considered coaching. I'd

0:32:49.440 --> 0:32:51.440
<v Speaker 2>definitely be up for mentoring. I do mentor a couple

0:32:51.520 --> 0:32:57.480
<v Speaker 2>of athletes currently, but I coaching. For me, coaches are

0:32:57.760 --> 0:33:02.280
<v Speaker 2>the most under race people on the planet because they

0:33:02.320 --> 0:33:06.640
<v Speaker 2>are there every single training session. They're through the whole thing. Yeah,

0:33:06.720 --> 0:33:10.120
<v Speaker 2>they don't do it and they like So for me,

0:33:10.720 --> 0:33:12.840
<v Speaker 2>if I was there for every single training session, every

0:33:12.840 --> 0:33:17.520
<v Speaker 2>single competition, I'd rather do it. Be like, yeah, I'd

0:33:17.600 --> 0:33:20.720
<v Speaker 2>rather do it myself and you know, be involved in

0:33:20.720 --> 0:33:24.840
<v Speaker 2>it and really be in it. But you know, if

0:33:24.880 --> 0:33:27.240
<v Speaker 2>it ever came to it, but yeah, I would definitely coach.

0:33:28.640 --> 0:33:31.000
<v Speaker 2>But for right now, I think there's lots of other

0:33:31.040 --> 0:33:32.920
<v Speaker 2>things I want to do. It might be like I

0:33:32.960 --> 0:33:35.280
<v Speaker 2>feel like, and I know it sounds silly, but I

0:33:35.360 --> 0:33:38.400
<v Speaker 2>feel like coaching for me would feel like a retirement job,

0:33:39.040 --> 0:33:42.200
<v Speaker 2>whereas I kind of want to figure out another career

0:33:42.240 --> 0:33:45.920
<v Speaker 2>before that. Maybe when I'm like, I say retirement job,

0:33:45.960 --> 0:33:48.760
<v Speaker 2>but like maybe the last ten years of my working life,

0:33:48.800 --> 0:33:49.960
<v Speaker 2>i'd work as a coach.

0:33:50.280 --> 0:33:52.960
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Yeah, I think what's cool is the world is

0:33:52.960 --> 0:33:55.520
<v Speaker 1>your oyster we're gonna we're gonna see where you end

0:33:55.640 --> 0:33:57.800
<v Speaker 1>up and what you keep doing, and you, only you

0:33:57.840 --> 0:34:00.200
<v Speaker 1>will figure that out, and you're gonna do what makes

0:34:00.200 --> 0:34:02.400
<v Speaker 1>you happy. You've already accomplished so much, so now it's

0:34:02.440 --> 0:34:04.000
<v Speaker 1>your time to figure out what you want that to

0:34:04.000 --> 0:34:06.360
<v Speaker 1>look like next for you. And in the meantime, you know,

0:34:06.360 --> 0:34:07.560
<v Speaker 1>I hope you have a hell of a lot of

0:34:07.640 --> 0:34:10.320
<v Speaker 1>fun doing it all. I mean, aren't you doing Traders

0:34:10.360 --> 0:34:10.799
<v Speaker 1>coming up?

0:34:10.960 --> 0:34:13.520
<v Speaker 2>I have filmed The Traders, which was so much fun.

0:34:13.640 --> 0:34:14.120
<v Speaker 1>Was that fine?

0:34:14.320 --> 0:34:16.279
<v Speaker 2>It was a lot of fun. And I also just

0:34:16.320 --> 0:34:19.880
<v Speaker 2>finished filming a new TV show called Game of waol.

0:34:21.239 --> 0:34:23.840
<v Speaker 1>I know it sounds sounds like a competition series involving

0:34:23.880 --> 0:34:25.080
<v Speaker 1>knitting exactly.

0:34:25.120 --> 0:34:28.279
<v Speaker 2>It's like a fake off for knitting. I'm hosting this

0:34:28.440 --> 0:34:30.560
<v Speaker 2>TV show. We've got two judges and then there's like

0:34:30.800 --> 0:34:34.680
<v Speaker 2>ten contestants, and each week someone gets cast off, which

0:34:34.680 --> 0:34:36.279
<v Speaker 2>is a knitting pun. If you know how to knit,

0:34:36.320 --> 0:34:38.360
<v Speaker 2>you cast off your stitches, off your needles. It's you know,

0:34:38.640 --> 0:34:43.840
<v Speaker 2>it's I never knew that there were so many puns

0:34:43.880 --> 0:34:46.560
<v Speaker 2>in the world of knitting. I don't actually know how

0:34:46.640 --> 0:34:48.320
<v Speaker 2>much is actually going to be able to be safe

0:34:48.360 --> 0:34:51.640
<v Speaker 2>for TV. To be honest, but it was it was

0:34:51.680 --> 0:34:52.160
<v Speaker 2>a lot of fun.

0:34:52.360 --> 0:34:54.360
<v Speaker 1>Okay, we look forward to both of those. Was it

0:34:54.440 --> 0:34:56.320
<v Speaker 1>while being away for traders because you don't used to

0:34:56.320 --> 0:34:57.960
<v Speaker 1>give up your phone and like all of it?

0:34:58.160 --> 0:35:00.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they have, like I think for this version they

0:35:00.680 --> 0:35:03.600
<v Speaker 2>had some kind of like rules with people with children

0:35:03.680 --> 0:35:07.319
<v Speaker 2>to be able to still have some communication. But it

0:35:07.440 --> 0:35:11.000
<v Speaker 2>was a Yeah, it was a very wild experience, but

0:35:11.160 --> 0:35:12.000
<v Speaker 2>it was a lot of fun.

0:35:12.280 --> 0:35:14.600
<v Speaker 1>Good for you all part of your next journey, which

0:35:14.640 --> 0:35:17.359
<v Speaker 1>I love, Tom. I could talk to you for hours more.

0:35:17.600 --> 0:35:20.239
<v Speaker 1>I'm just I'm loving this conversation. And no surprise, after

0:35:20.239 --> 0:35:22.640
<v Speaker 1>I watched the documentary, I knew I would. But as

0:35:22.680 --> 0:35:24.600
<v Speaker 1>we start to wrap up, the name of the show

0:35:24.640 --> 0:35:26.799
<v Speaker 1>is called I've never said this before, and it was

0:35:26.840 --> 0:35:28.839
<v Speaker 1>born because I cover a lot of red carpets and

0:35:28.920 --> 0:35:31.800
<v Speaker 1>press junkets where you have three minutes maybe five minutes

0:35:31.840 --> 0:35:35.480
<v Speaker 1>with somebody and it's all sound by conversation and it's not,

0:35:35.680 --> 0:35:38.560
<v Speaker 1>in my opinion, the realist conversation you can have. And

0:35:38.600 --> 0:35:42.719
<v Speaker 1>I love bringing on inspiring influential people and getting to

0:35:42.760 --> 0:35:45.080
<v Speaker 1>see real sides to you and getting giving you an

0:35:45.120 --> 0:35:47.960
<v Speaker 1>opportunity to talk about things that means something to you.

0:35:48.400 --> 0:35:50.840
<v Speaker 1>So I wrap up every episode by asking, what is

0:35:50.880 --> 0:35:53.920
<v Speaker 1>one thing you've never said before whatever that means to you.

0:35:54.719 --> 0:35:59.279
<v Speaker 2>Oh, gosh, something I've never said before. I feel like

0:35:59.320 --> 0:36:01.520
<v Speaker 2>I've been such an open book my whole life that

0:36:01.560 --> 0:36:05.200
<v Speaker 2>I've always spoken very openly about everything that I think

0:36:08.000 --> 0:36:14.560
<v Speaker 2>something I've never said before is as a parent, I

0:36:14.760 --> 0:36:21.359
<v Speaker 2>find that being two working parents is one of the

0:36:21.400 --> 0:36:25.239
<v Speaker 2>most difficult things and something that I wasn't anticipating being

0:36:25.280 --> 0:36:30.120
<v Speaker 2>as difficult as it was, because your kids are the

0:36:30.160 --> 0:36:32.440
<v Speaker 2>most important thing in your whole life, right, and you

0:36:32.520 --> 0:36:35.239
<v Speaker 2>will do anything for them, and they are therefore like

0:36:35.440 --> 0:36:38.759
<v Speaker 2>they are the most important things in your life. Every

0:36:38.760 --> 0:36:44.440
<v Speaker 2>decision you make, they come first. But when you're in

0:36:44.480 --> 0:36:47.000
<v Speaker 2>the trenches and currently, like we have a two year

0:36:47.040 --> 0:36:49.080
<v Speaker 2>old that's party training, I've been picking up poop off

0:36:49.080 --> 0:36:51.920
<v Speaker 2>the pool side, and we've been doing all kinds of things.

0:36:52.160 --> 0:36:55.560
<v Speaker 2>But that I feel like not enough people talk about

0:36:56.120 --> 0:36:59.480
<v Speaker 2>the guilt of being a working parent and trying to

0:36:59.520 --> 0:37:02.759
<v Speaker 2>figure out the balance of being around because when I'm

0:37:03.200 --> 0:37:06.279
<v Speaker 2>in LA I'm like, they're like, I am like there

0:37:06.320 --> 0:37:09.839
<v Speaker 2>all day and not doing as much stuff, whereas then

0:37:09.880 --> 0:37:12.040
<v Speaker 2>I have to travel to do work and the guilt

0:37:12.040 --> 0:37:14.640
<v Speaker 2>that I feel being away from my kids is so

0:37:15.320 --> 0:37:18.120
<v Speaker 2>it like rips my heart open and to the point

0:37:18.120 --> 0:37:21.160
<v Speaker 2>where I try to condense everything as humanly possible. I mean,

0:37:21.200 --> 0:37:23.799
<v Speaker 2>I've taken the Red Eye to come here. I'm here

0:37:23.840 --> 0:37:27.160
<v Speaker 2>for thirty six hours maybe less, and then flying back.

0:37:27.239 --> 0:37:30.239
<v Speaker 2>But I feel like I've probably never really spoken about

0:37:30.239 --> 0:37:32.200
<v Speaker 2>the guilt that i feel about being away from my

0:37:32.280 --> 0:37:36.719
<v Speaker 2>kids when I'm doing any of my work stuff. And

0:37:36.800 --> 0:37:39.040
<v Speaker 2>I know parents have to work and you can't be

0:37:39.080 --> 0:37:43.319
<v Speaker 2>around your kids all the time, but that I yeah,

0:37:43.400 --> 0:37:46.440
<v Speaker 2>and being able to balance that with Lance's career and

0:37:46.480 --> 0:37:50.200
<v Speaker 2>my career as something that I've really kind of struggled with.

0:37:50.480 --> 0:37:53.360
<v Speaker 2>But it's something that I always feel really bad talking

0:37:53.360 --> 0:37:56.719
<v Speaker 2>about because I'm also very lucky to have the opportunity

0:37:56.760 --> 0:37:58.279
<v Speaker 2>to work in the places that I do and the

0:37:58.320 --> 0:38:01.600
<v Speaker 2>things that I do. But it's just, yeah, I think

0:38:01.640 --> 0:38:03.680
<v Speaker 2>that's probably something I've actually never said before. The guilt

0:38:03.680 --> 0:38:05.840
<v Speaker 2>that I feel when I go to work.

0:38:05.680 --> 0:38:07.960
<v Speaker 1>Well, that's very human. I mean I'm not a parent myself,

0:38:08.000 --> 0:38:09.840
<v Speaker 1>but I have a lot of friends who experience that,

0:38:10.080 --> 0:38:14.319
<v Speaker 1>and it is it is part of being a working person, right,

0:38:14.360 --> 0:38:15.879
<v Speaker 1>It's not and you don't have a nine to five,

0:38:15.920 --> 0:38:17.440
<v Speaker 1>So you do have these weird hours where you are

0:38:17.480 --> 0:38:20.440
<v Speaker 1>away for periods of time, and I imagine that does

0:38:20.480 --> 0:38:23.360
<v Speaker 1>sometimes get kind of heavy on the heart, right.

0:38:23.440 --> 0:38:25.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it does get heavy on the heart. And then like,

0:38:25.760 --> 0:38:29.080
<v Speaker 2>for example, you know, always one of us will be

0:38:29.080 --> 0:38:32.200
<v Speaker 2>able to make it, but like being here today, Like

0:38:32.239 --> 0:38:38.360
<v Speaker 2>there's Robbie's animal project at school, for example, that they're presenting,

0:38:38.480 --> 0:38:42.280
<v Speaker 2>and like, I it eats me up inside that I'm

0:38:42.840 --> 0:38:44.840
<v Speaker 2>not there for that today, Like I've been for all

0:38:44.920 --> 0:38:47.880
<v Speaker 2>of his other shows this whole year, but it's like

0:38:47.880 --> 0:38:51.319
<v Speaker 2>like I'm missing one and I feel so awful about it,

0:38:51.680 --> 0:38:55.440
<v Speaker 2>and there's no way of being able to you know,

0:38:55.680 --> 0:38:59.640
<v Speaker 2>like what do you do in that situation because you

0:38:59.719 --> 0:39:03.520
<v Speaker 2>have to work? But then like yeah, so that eats

0:39:03.560 --> 0:39:03.839
<v Speaker 2>me up.

0:39:04.160 --> 0:39:05.920
<v Speaker 1>Do you ever have a day as a parent, as

0:39:05.920 --> 0:39:08.960
<v Speaker 1>a dad where it's just like the guilt is so

0:39:09.040 --> 0:39:10.880
<v Speaker 1>intense and you have so much going on that you

0:39:10.960 --> 0:39:12.759
<v Speaker 1>just break down and you're like this this is just

0:39:13.560 --> 0:39:13.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm done.

0:39:14.200 --> 0:39:17.719
<v Speaker 2>I think lots of parents will do get to the

0:39:17.760 --> 0:39:21.279
<v Speaker 2>point where you're like oh my gosh and completely overwhelmed

0:39:21.480 --> 0:39:24.520
<v Speaker 2>and completely you know, in over your head and you're like,

0:39:24.560 --> 0:39:28.480
<v Speaker 2>oh my gosh, like, how how do I deal with

0:39:28.520 --> 0:39:33.239
<v Speaker 2>this situation? Because you know, there's where with a seven

0:39:33.320 --> 0:39:35.160
<v Speaker 2>year old and a two year old, like the seven

0:39:35.200 --> 0:39:37.880
<v Speaker 2>year old is very much doing his own thing now,

0:39:38.320 --> 0:39:41.120
<v Speaker 2>but the two year old is like, especially the second child,

0:39:41.160 --> 0:39:43.920
<v Speaker 2>he's feral. He likes to climb, run, jump, and do

0:39:44.000 --> 0:39:48.200
<v Speaker 2>all So there's always this kind of humming background stress

0:39:48.239 --> 0:39:50.480
<v Speaker 2>all the time to make sure that they're okay. And

0:39:51.080 --> 0:39:53.360
<v Speaker 2>it's yeah, there are times where you're like, oh my gosh, like,

0:39:53.480 --> 0:39:56.400
<v Speaker 2>how how am I ever going to be able to

0:39:56.440 --> 0:39:59.440
<v Speaker 2>do all of this stuff and be able to manage it?

0:39:59.480 --> 0:40:02.400
<v Speaker 2>And it does feel overwhelming and I think, you know,

0:40:02.920 --> 0:40:05.000
<v Speaker 2>parents always tried to put on a brave face and

0:40:05.040 --> 0:40:06.799
<v Speaker 2>be like, you know, it's we're good, it's this is

0:40:06.840 --> 0:40:08.480
<v Speaker 2>this is part of it, it's all part of it.

0:40:08.480 --> 0:40:11.919
<v Speaker 2>It's all good. But actually it's it's really hard. It's

0:40:12.000 --> 0:40:15.000
<v Speaker 2>beautiful and it's amazing and it's magical and it's so

0:40:15.160 --> 0:40:18.880
<v Speaker 2>much love there, but it's it's hard, and you think, yeah,

0:40:18.920 --> 0:40:20.960
<v Speaker 2>so some days I just want to kind of I

0:40:20.960 --> 0:40:22.640
<v Speaker 2>guess I want to say, like two other parents out

0:40:22.640 --> 0:40:25.799
<v Speaker 2>there that you know, I see you when you're in

0:40:25.840 --> 0:40:28.880
<v Speaker 2>the trenches for this like there's some difficult age ranges.

0:40:29.760 --> 0:40:33.239
<v Speaker 2>It's yeah, it's we're all going through it, and it's

0:40:33.280 --> 0:40:37.120
<v Speaker 2>a and I guess lots of the parents that have

0:40:37.239 --> 0:40:38.920
<v Speaker 2>older kids, but like, you'll get through it and you'll

0:40:38.960 --> 0:40:41.080
<v Speaker 2>wish you were back in this in this stage, so

0:40:41.680 --> 0:40:44.240
<v Speaker 2>you know, we'll see ask me in two years.

0:40:44.400 --> 0:40:46.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, Well that's why I love the show and

0:40:46.719 --> 0:40:48.759
<v Speaker 1>I love that question because of answers like that, and

0:40:48.800 --> 0:40:50.960
<v Speaker 1>it just connects people and in a way that makes

0:40:51.000 --> 0:40:52.680
<v Speaker 1>you feel like, oh my god, I'm not going through

0:40:52.719 --> 0:40:55.520
<v Speaker 1>this alone and other people think like me, and I

0:40:55.560 --> 0:40:58.200
<v Speaker 1>just think that's really cool and we can collectively come

0:40:58.239 --> 0:41:01.279
<v Speaker 1>together and share those speriences that many of us go

0:41:01.320 --> 0:41:03.799
<v Speaker 1>through and we just don't always talk about. So thank

0:41:03.840 --> 0:41:06.319
<v Speaker 1>you for answering that, and thank you for hanging out.

0:41:06.360 --> 0:41:08.279
<v Speaker 1>I know you've done a lot of press throughout the

0:41:08.320 --> 0:41:10.040
<v Speaker 1>course of your career, and I'm sure you have a

0:41:10.160 --> 0:41:14.080
<v Speaker 1>very interesting relationship with press, you know, from your time

0:41:14.160 --> 0:41:18.480
<v Speaker 1>as a professional athlete and to today. So hopefully you

0:41:18.520 --> 0:41:19.680
<v Speaker 1>came in here feeling good.

0:41:19.920 --> 0:41:22.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it was fun accompany. It's all gone so quickly,

0:41:23.200 --> 0:41:23.520
<v Speaker 2>I know.

0:41:23.680 --> 0:41:26.000
<v Speaker 1>Well, I love your story, I love your documentary. So

0:41:26.080 --> 0:41:30.239
<v Speaker 1>for everybody listening. It's available exclusively on Olympics dot Com

0:41:30.280 --> 0:41:34.160
<v Speaker 1>in the US and Discovery Plus in the UK, So

0:41:34.280 --> 0:41:37.359
<v Speaker 1>everybody watch it right now. It is so fantastic, and

0:41:37.400 --> 0:41:39.000
<v Speaker 1>thank you for hanging out, and thank you for being

0:41:39.000 --> 0:41:41.440
<v Speaker 1>a pillar in the community that so many people can

0:41:41.480 --> 0:41:41.880
<v Speaker 1>look up to.

0:41:42.239 --> 0:41:44.279
<v Speaker 2>Well, thank you for having me. And now I have

0:41:44.360 --> 0:41:45.880
<v Speaker 2>to just stay awake because I'm hoping to go to

0:41:45.920 --> 0:41:47.720
<v Speaker 2>the theater this evening very nice.

0:41:47.840 --> 0:41:53.160
<v Speaker 1>Well, I hope you stay away. Thank you. I've never

0:41:53.200 --> 0:41:56.280
<v Speaker 1>said this before. It is hosted by Me Tommy Diderio.

0:41:57.000 --> 0:42:01.240
<v Speaker 1>This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Pivle at iHeartRadio

0:42:01.360 --> 0:42:05.680
<v Speaker 1>and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've

0:42:05.719 --> 0:42:08.160
<v Speaker 1>Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis Durant

0:42:08.200 --> 0:42:12.440
<v Speaker 1>podcast Network on iHeart Podcasts. For more rate review and

0:42:12.560 --> 0:42:15.440
<v Speaker 1>subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode,

0:42:15.640 --> 0:42:20.000
<v Speaker 1>tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy Diderio.