1 00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:05,680 Speaker 1: Hey guys, welcome to I've never said this before with me. 2 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:10,639 Speaker 1: Tommy de Dario, one of the greatest athletes in the world, 3 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:14,320 Speaker 1: joins my show today and man, what a conversation you 4 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:17,759 Speaker 1: are about to hear. The five time Olympic medalist Tom 5 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:20,520 Speaker 1: Daily dove his way into the studio. See what I 6 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:23,600 Speaker 1: did there. It's a chat all about his incredible life. 7 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:26,960 Speaker 1: His new documentary, Tom Daily one point six Seconds is 8 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,200 Speaker 1: out now and we are covering it all. Tom's giving 9 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:32,880 Speaker 1: us a really intimate look at the challenges of growing 10 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:36,000 Speaker 1: up in the public eye and facing physical and mental 11 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:40,159 Speaker 1: pressures of being his country's big metal hope. He emotionally 12 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 1: discusses losing his father Roberts, cancer, and coming out in 13 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:46,720 Speaker 1: the media, and of course he opens up about making 14 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,520 Speaker 1: the decision to retire from the competition at the age 15 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:52,800 Speaker 1: of thirty, and so much more. Tom's not only a 16 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:56,160 Speaker 1: sporting legend, but he's a champion for important social issues 17 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,319 Speaker 1: and he has shaped the world far beyond what I 18 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,280 Speaker 1: imagine he even thought was possible. And a big shout 19 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:04,800 Speaker 1: out to Travel Guard, my personal sponsor for today's episode. 20 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,800 Speaker 1: Their mission it's to make sure we safely say hello 21 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:11,520 Speaker 1: to our next destination a vacation insurance plan from travel Guard. 22 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:14,039 Speaker 1: It helps to protect your trip investment with coverages like 23 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:18,440 Speaker 1: trip cancelation and interruption, medical expense, and evacuation, lost or 24 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:21,560 Speaker 1: delayed baggage, which is the biggest pain for anyone who 25 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:24,200 Speaker 1: has gone through that, and so much more so, Let's 26 00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:27,400 Speaker 1: enjoy our trips without the headaches and launching soon, you guys, 27 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 1: is my Pride series with travel Guard about how the 28 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,760 Speaker 1: community can stay safe during their travels. So visit travelguard 29 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 1: dot com for more information on that. And let's see 30 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:39,440 Speaker 1: if today we can get Tom to say something that 31 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 1: he has never said before. Tom Daily, how are you, 32 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:49,080 Speaker 1: my friend? 33 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:51,800 Speaker 2: I am doing alright, you know, a little bit tired, 34 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:53,920 Speaker 2: but nothing like I've ever been before since. 35 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, you look refreshed off of the plane. I know. 36 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:58,640 Speaker 2: I feel like this last week or so, I've just 37 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,720 Speaker 2: been traveling here, there and everywhere. But it's been good. 38 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 2: It's been nice to be able to, you know, just 39 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,440 Speaker 2: get out and about and you know, explore a little. 40 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, and for good reason you're traveling. You have an 41 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,160 Speaker 1: amazing documentary which we're going to get to, of course, 42 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:11,880 Speaker 1: but I have to start by telling you I'm a 43 00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 1: little disappointed. Oh no, I really thought you'd be sitting 44 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:18,960 Speaker 1: across from me. We knitwhere, yes, or knitting a new project, 45 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,079 Speaker 1: and here you are without it. And I don't understand 46 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:22,880 Speaker 1: why you decided to show up and not do that, 47 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 1: but I'll have to get over it. 48 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:27,800 Speaker 2: I know double denim instead. Although I do have my 49 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:31,400 Speaker 2: knitting in my bag, so not with me here, but 50 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,480 Speaker 2: it's in the car so I do carry it with 51 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 2: me absolutely everywhere, which sometimes I get some weird looks 52 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:40,120 Speaker 2: coming through TSA with a whole set of knitting needles, 53 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:42,640 Speaker 2: because they you know, if you were to scan that 54 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:44,720 Speaker 2: it might look slightly weird. 55 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:47,720 Speaker 1: I'm surprised you can bring big needles through the TSA. 56 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, and scissors as long as they're smaller than four inches. 57 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,440 Speaker 1: Oh good to know, Good to know. I still laugh 58 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 1: about that photo when I saw you in the stands 59 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 1: knitting your your sweater was it? 60 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:02,040 Speaker 2: I was knitting in total, I was nitting this like cardigan. Basically, 61 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:04,560 Speaker 2: I started knitting because my coach told me that I 62 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,840 Speaker 2: was always on the go, always, I never just sat still, 63 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,160 Speaker 2: and that I wasn't very good at resting and recovering. 64 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:13,079 Speaker 2: So was then my husband, who said to me, why 65 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,360 Speaker 2: don't you try knitting because people on film sets he 66 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,080 Speaker 2: works in film and TV, like, why don't you try knitting? 67 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 2: And I was like, you know, okay, sure, why not. 68 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 2: So I got my needles, got my yarn, went onto 69 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:26,720 Speaker 2: the YouTube University and taught myself out to knit, and 70 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,360 Speaker 2: I've he it became my obsession honestly. 71 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:32,399 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I feel like it's really good for anxiety too. 72 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:34,679 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm able like this is the one time 73 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:36,760 Speaker 2: of the day where my mind is completely quiet and 74 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,640 Speaker 2: I love that, and it like I'm able to pass 75 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 2: so much time I can be really present. I genuinely 76 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:45,640 Speaker 2: think that knitting was my superpower and the reason why 77 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,120 Speaker 2: I was able to win Ann't be Gone medal in 78 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 2: Tokyo because it was like, during like the COVID Olympics, 79 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:54,720 Speaker 2: there was so much time to overthink everything, and you know, 80 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:57,280 Speaker 2: knitting kind of like took that away. So yeah, I'm 81 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,360 Speaker 2: grateful for knitting. 82 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,440 Speaker 1: That's so cool. Well, there is something about that keeps 83 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 1: you super present, right, which is I feel like anyone 84 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 1: who wants to be successful at anything has to have 85 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:05,880 Speaker 1: that mindset. 86 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:07,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you have to be able to be 87 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:10,880 Speaker 2: extremely present focused on the process and enjoy the process 88 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 2: as well, because although yes, you want to have a 89 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 2: successful outcome, that's not always the case. So as long 90 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,920 Speaker 2: as you can enjoy the process, it's still worth it regardless. 91 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:22,320 Speaker 1: Good for you, man, Well, your documentary one point six 92 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:26,400 Speaker 1: seconds is beautiful. Oh beautiful. I watched it with my husband. 93 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:29,120 Speaker 1: We just we absolutely loved it and thought it was 94 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 1: so raw and open and you know, vulnerable and emotional. 95 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 1: So I guess to kick this off, why was this 96 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,560 Speaker 1: the right time in your life to put something like 97 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 1: that out. 98 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:43,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean the production company came to me in 99 00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:45,600 Speaker 2: twenty twenty three. I want to say it was two 100 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:47,760 Speaker 2: years after the Tokyo Olympics, because I hadn't died for 101 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,359 Speaker 2: two years at that point, I thought I was retired, 102 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,240 Speaker 2: and they came to me right at the time when 103 00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 2: I was deciding maybe I should come back for one 104 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:57,200 Speaker 2: more Olympic Games in Paris so that my kids could 105 00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 2: see me compete. And I think the big thing for 106 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,359 Speaker 2: me was I had no idea that so much of 107 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 2: the archival footage existed that my dad had filmed, so 108 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:09,280 Speaker 2: lots of the documentary was me seeing things for the 109 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:13,160 Speaker 2: very first time, and I don't know, retirement was on 110 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,360 Speaker 2: the card. So I like being able to sum up 111 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:17,400 Speaker 2: my whole career and then also be able to have 112 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,960 Speaker 2: something so that my kids in the future can look 113 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 2: back and see everything that their papa like achieved and did. 114 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:27,480 Speaker 2: There was something about that that I was excited so 115 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,240 Speaker 2: that they could see everything in one place. 116 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:32,240 Speaker 1: Wow. I mean, it's remarkable you've accomplished. You began diving 117 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 1: around seventy eight, right, you went to the Olympics at fourteen. Yes, 118 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:39,360 Speaker 1: you won your first World champion at fifteen. Yes, that's 119 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,880 Speaker 1: a lot of action very early on in your life, 120 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:44,880 Speaker 1: and you became known as this kind of prodigy diver. Right, 121 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 1: So as you're in this new chapter of your life, 122 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:50,120 Speaker 1: who is Tom Daily without that? 123 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:52,640 Speaker 2: Oh gosh, good question. And I still feel like I'm 124 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,320 Speaker 2: figuring that out because diving was such a big part 125 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:57,920 Speaker 2: of my life from the age of seven up until 126 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:03,120 Speaker 2: I was thirty. So there's like now that retirement. It's 127 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,640 Speaker 2: weird to say the our word retirement because I'm like, 128 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,960 Speaker 2: you know, yes, I'm retired, but it's only from like 129 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,440 Speaker 2: my first career in diving. Because now I'm like, Okay, 130 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,240 Speaker 2: what am I going to do with my day. I 131 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:15,680 Speaker 2: used to know exactly what time I was waking up, 132 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 2: when I was going to have for breakfast, when I 133 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,120 Speaker 2: was going to have my breakfast, what time I was 134 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 2: starting training, when I was going to be home, where 135 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:24,360 Speaker 2: I was going to be traveling, what competition, And now 136 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:26,839 Speaker 2: all of that is out the window. Routine has got. 137 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:30,159 Speaker 2: The only structure I have now really is a school 138 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 2: drop off and school pickup for my kids, and that's 139 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:36,240 Speaker 2: kind of the thing that I revolved my day around now. 140 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:39,000 Speaker 2: But other than that, it's like everything is kind of 141 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,080 Speaker 2: like slotted in and people are like, oh, when can 142 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:44,040 Speaker 2: you do this, And I'm like, I guess whenever you want, 143 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:46,359 Speaker 2: But then like I don't know because I don't know 144 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 2: what could be happening that day. Whereas before I knew 145 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:50,760 Speaker 2: I was going to be training, let's say, like eight 146 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,680 Speaker 2: till ten thirty and then one thirty till four, so 147 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:55,960 Speaker 2: I knew that if there was something I was going 148 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 2: to have to do, it's either going to be in 149 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,760 Speaker 2: and around those times, Whereas now it's kind of like 150 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 2: a you know, bitten it in there, bitten it in there, 151 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:06,920 Speaker 2: and just yeah, live in my life without too many 152 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:08,719 Speaker 2: routines and structures. 153 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, you're figuring out that person who you 154 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 1: will step into still, right, which I imagine is liberating, but 155 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,560 Speaker 1: also probably if you're someone like me who's a little 156 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,920 Speaker 1: type A and from watching a documentary you do like 157 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 1: routine and structure, it is also very weird. 158 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, It's something that when I was in diving, all 159 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 2: I ever wanted to do was be like, oh, I 160 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,360 Speaker 2: just want to break free of this structure and just 161 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,240 Speaker 2: be able to go and do something if I want 162 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 2: to go and do it, whereas now I can, I'm like, oh, 163 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,000 Speaker 2: I don't know if I really like that, Like it 164 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,200 Speaker 2: was liberating for a while, but then I'm like, Okay, 165 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:43,200 Speaker 2: now I actually quite enjoyed that structure of what I'm 166 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,160 Speaker 2: going to And it's kind of I guess lots of 167 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:47,320 Speaker 2: people might have the similar thing if they're not in 168 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 2: a regular, like nine to five job. It's like when 169 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,040 Speaker 2: do you start working, when do you stop? What do 170 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,080 Speaker 2: you do? How often are you doing it? And then 171 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:57,239 Speaker 2: you end up finding yourself incredibly busy all the time, 172 00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:00,880 Speaker 2: and but it's it's been good, and this past year 173 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 2: has been incredibly busy. 174 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,160 Speaker 1: So what would you say after living such a very 175 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:10,120 Speaker 1: public life and having media and the public so intertwined 176 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:13,000 Speaker 1: in your personal life and professional life. What would you 177 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:16,120 Speaker 1: say is one of the biggest misconceptions about you. 178 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:20,520 Speaker 2: Oh, I think lots of people might consider me to 179 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:23,520 Speaker 2: be someone that is like very go go go all 180 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,280 Speaker 2: about winning an Olympic gold medal. I'm very serious and 181 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,920 Speaker 2: driven towards that, and I do think that I'm probably 182 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,800 Speaker 2: one of the more unseerious people. And it was only 183 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,920 Speaker 2: really as I got older that I started to care 184 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,400 Speaker 2: less about what other people thought, so I was able 185 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:40,160 Speaker 2: to be more me because you know, growing up, I 186 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,480 Speaker 2: feel like I was always I'm such a people pleaser, 187 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 2: so I feel like I was always giving people what 188 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:49,280 Speaker 2: I thought they wanted to hear from me, and what 189 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,840 Speaker 2: they thought I wanted them to be they wanted me 190 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 2: to be. Like, So I think now I'm a lot 191 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:58,520 Speaker 2: more like I have a different perspective on life. But yeah, 192 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,680 Speaker 2: I guess that's not really a misconcier. But I guess 193 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:05,320 Speaker 2: I'm not just about the gold medals. Maybe. 194 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, I think it's important to say that because 195 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,319 Speaker 1: when you're such a high achiever and you have accomplished 196 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:12,520 Speaker 1: so much, you can be kind of put in this 197 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 1: category of like that's your only focus, and clearly it's not. 198 00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 1: I mean, you're a family man, yeah, her husband. You're 199 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:19,679 Speaker 1: so much more than just That's. 200 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,680 Speaker 2: The danger though. If you want to win an Olympic 201 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:23,080 Speaker 2: gold medal, if you want to be the best at 202 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:26,080 Speaker 2: what you do, it can't be your only thing because 203 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:27,599 Speaker 2: if it is your only thing, you put all of 204 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,679 Speaker 2: your self worth and self esteem into that one thing 205 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 2: and what you do, and you have to realize that 206 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:34,160 Speaker 2: you're more than what you do. Yeah, and what you do. 207 00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:36,840 Speaker 2: I mean I always say, like, you know, doing sport, 208 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,640 Speaker 2: it's not saving lives. I'm not like a brain surgeon 209 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:40,320 Speaker 2: or a heart surgeon. So if you are a heart 210 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,320 Speaker 2: surgeon or brain surgeon, I'm sorry you do what you 211 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:45,760 Speaker 2: do every day does really matter. But I always just 212 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,200 Speaker 2: I always try to tell myself when I was sriving 213 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,400 Speaker 2: that at the end of the day, it's just a game. Yeah, 214 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,320 Speaker 2: it's just a game. Yeah, it could be monopoly with 215 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:55,400 Speaker 2: your family. Yeah, the boards have been flipped with that too. 216 00:09:55,559 --> 00:09:58,160 Speaker 2: You know, I'm very competitive, but I like to think 217 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,480 Speaker 2: of you know, everything, you're able to be able to 218 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:03,040 Speaker 2: put everything you do into perspective to make it feel 219 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:06,120 Speaker 2: smaller and sometimes that's what I find to be really helpful. 220 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,840 Speaker 1: Well, and I have to say, based off what you 221 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,840 Speaker 1: just said, you know you're an athlete, which I would 222 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,880 Speaker 1: argue is also a type of an artist, right, and 223 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,520 Speaker 1: you inspire so many people to dream and go after 224 00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:16,720 Speaker 1: what it is they want to go after. So yes, 225 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,440 Speaker 1: it's not brain surgery, but I would argue it is 226 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 1: equally as important because in this day and age that 227 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,840 Speaker 1: we live in, where there can be so much doom 228 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,640 Speaker 1: and gloom, you give people that light. So don't take 229 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,280 Speaker 1: that away from what you do either, because it is important. 230 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, But I think it's the difference is with when 231 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:34,920 Speaker 2: you go into an Olympic Games and you know it 232 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,679 Speaker 2: is the biggest thing that you've been working for. It's 233 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:39,120 Speaker 2: what all your training has come up to for. You 234 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,960 Speaker 2: train six hours a day, six days a week for 235 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:45,840 Speaker 2: four years for that one day, and it can feel 236 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:48,079 Speaker 2: like it is the biggest thing that's ever happened in 237 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,960 Speaker 2: your life, because for the most part, it probably is 238 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,960 Speaker 2: working towards that thing. But if you have that on 239 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,880 Speaker 2: your plate, it is so terrifying and there's so much 240 00:10:56,920 --> 00:11:00,440 Speaker 2: pressure and anxiety that comes down to perfect those one 241 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:01,680 Speaker 2: point six seconds. 242 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:01,760 Speaker 1: Of a dive. 243 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,160 Speaker 2: So now I if I am only thinking about that 244 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:08,320 Speaker 2: standing down, I'm terrified. So I have to come up 245 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,560 Speaker 2: with ways for myself to be able to let go 246 00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 2: of that and break free of that, you know, anxiety 247 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,160 Speaker 2: and pressure. And for me, that is just making it 248 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,800 Speaker 2: feel as little and small as possible. 249 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, that makes total sense. And I imagine having 250 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,600 Speaker 1: a support system along the way has also helped with 251 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:24,800 Speaker 1: all of that and been tremendous. And in the documentary 252 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:27,480 Speaker 1: we see the beautiful relationship with you and your parents 253 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:30,200 Speaker 1: and your father who was literally by your side, yeah, 254 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:33,720 Speaker 1: for everything, and you open up about losing him and 255 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,400 Speaker 1: so many people have gone through that and what that 256 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:39,080 Speaker 1: grief was like for you, and your way to grieve 257 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:41,240 Speaker 1: kind of was jumping back into work at first, right 258 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:43,319 Speaker 1: and going going, going, exactly. 259 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:46,800 Speaker 2: I wasn't very good at the whole grieving thing. I 260 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:49,920 Speaker 2: think for lots of people, you always think of your 261 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,360 Speaker 2: parents as invincible that then you know they're always going 262 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:55,800 Speaker 2: to be around. And you know, my dad was one 263 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,000 Speaker 2: of my biggest or the biggest cheerleader I had in 264 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,760 Speaker 2: my life. He was there for every training session, every 265 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:03,080 Speaker 2: common whether it was in the UK or abroad, wherever 266 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 2: it was. He was there with his giant Union flag, 267 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:08,840 Speaker 2: waving it in people's faces. He didn't care. And you know, 268 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:11,920 Speaker 2: when I lost him in twenty eleven, it was something 269 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:15,400 Speaker 2: that was so incredibly difficult for our whole family, and 270 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:16,840 Speaker 2: it got to a point where I was like, I 271 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:20,000 Speaker 2: didn't know what to I didn't know what to do, 272 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:22,000 Speaker 2: I didn't know how to cope. So I ended up 273 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:25,920 Speaker 2: just carrying on, going right back to the diving pool, 274 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,600 Speaker 2: right back into it, and not really allowing myself to 275 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 2: have time to think about what was coming next. And 276 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:35,560 Speaker 2: for me, it was only when I met my husband 277 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:38,319 Speaker 2: when he started asking me like, why don't you speak 278 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:40,640 Speaker 2: about your dad? Why don't you do anything that celebrates 279 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 2: him in that way? And I think it was always 280 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:45,160 Speaker 2: because you know, as British people were very like, we 281 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:47,679 Speaker 2: don't want to talk about anything. We're very like, you know, 282 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:49,400 Speaker 2: we're going to go from one thing to the next 283 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:51,200 Speaker 2: and not really talk about our feelings. So it took 284 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:52,720 Speaker 2: me a while to actually get to a point where 285 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:56,400 Speaker 2: I felt like I was able to really open up 286 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:59,120 Speaker 2: and let that guard down, because you know, you just 287 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:00,600 Speaker 2: want to keep going on. You don't want to make 288 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,079 Speaker 2: the other I always just felt like I didn't want 289 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:05,240 Speaker 2: to make other people feel uncomfortable with my with my issues. 290 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,200 Speaker 1: If you like, it's not funny you were more worried 291 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:09,640 Speaker 1: about other people than processing what you were going through. 292 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,600 Speaker 2: I know. It's like that's just where I'm quite a 293 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:15,560 Speaker 2: people pleaser. So I always just a'm like, yeah, yeah, sure, 294 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:19,080 Speaker 2: do no worries, and you know, sometimes that's that's something 295 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:22,160 Speaker 2: I'm trying to work on a little bit more. But 296 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:25,600 Speaker 2: it's something that I uh, it's for the longest of times, 297 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,200 Speaker 2: I was very much just wanting I think that comes 298 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:31,120 Speaker 2: from growing up gay as well. It's like you always 299 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:35,240 Speaker 2: just want to make sure people don't find out that 300 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:37,679 Speaker 2: thing about you that might make them hate you. And 301 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:41,040 Speaker 2: you know, I was always trying to just be the 302 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,640 Speaker 2: you know, I feel like it's the I don't know 303 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:44,920 Speaker 2: if this is what they call, but it's like the 304 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,840 Speaker 2: best little boy syndrome. You know, you want to be 305 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,320 Speaker 2: like the best that you can be so that they 306 00:13:50,559 --> 00:13:53,000 Speaker 2: didn't care who you were or they didn't read too 307 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,640 Speaker 2: much into any of that. And it's so I think 308 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:59,800 Speaker 2: that's just the era of growing up then was a 309 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:00,280 Speaker 2: bit of a. 310 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,559 Speaker 1: Challenge yeah, yeah, for sure. And that's something I think 311 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 1: we kind of by default as gay men, still experience 312 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:08,959 Speaker 1: as we continue going through this life in little moments, 313 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,680 Speaker 1: and then we have to check ourselves like, oh wait, no, 314 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:12,440 Speaker 1: I don't need to still think like that or act 315 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,000 Speaker 1: like that, because it is something that we were kind 316 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:16,120 Speaker 1: of brought up to be, Like, yeah, and I grew up. 317 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:17,640 Speaker 2: In a small town. I'm not sure where did you 318 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:18,000 Speaker 2: grow up? 319 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,600 Speaker 1: Small town? Yeah? 320 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:22,160 Speaker 2: See, I grew up in Plymouth in the southwest of 321 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:26,600 Speaker 2: the UK, and I didn't know of I didn't know 322 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:30,040 Speaker 2: anyone gay like I, you know, you saw you know, 323 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:34,640 Speaker 2: Will and Grace or any kind of gay person. Was 324 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:38,560 Speaker 2: extremely flamboyant, and lots of people on the in Plymouth 325 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:42,640 Speaker 2: would talk very you know, in derogatory terms around these people. 326 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,400 Speaker 2: So I was like, oh my gosh, Like, well, you're 327 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,360 Speaker 2: growing up and you realize that thing about you that 328 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:49,600 Speaker 2: is so what society tells you is wrong. You always 329 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,600 Speaker 2: want to try and overcompensate for that. And yeah, I 330 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,120 Speaker 2: think that always will stick with you, like you say, forever, 331 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:57,800 Speaker 2: even as you get older. You like, there's sometimes I'm like, 332 00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:59,160 Speaker 2: oh my gosh, like I can't believe I did that 333 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:00,800 Speaker 2: or can't believe I said that, what are other people 334 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:04,800 Speaker 2: going to think? And I'm really hopeful for this next 335 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:08,440 Speaker 2: generation that you know, people can just grow up just 336 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:12,480 Speaker 2: being themselves and have parents and family members around them 337 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:13,720 Speaker 2: that just love them for who they are. 338 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:14,640 Speaker 1: Wouldn't that be nice? 339 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:15,480 Speaker 2: Wouldn't it be lovely? 340 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:16,760 Speaker 1: That would be so nice. 341 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 2: I always just you know, like and also just the 342 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,680 Speaker 2: fact that I find it weird that people care so 343 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,680 Speaker 2: much about what people get up to in their private 344 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,040 Speaker 2: life anyway, Like, if you're a good athlete, you're a 345 00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:29,840 Speaker 2: good athlete. Yeah, if you're a good podcast host, you 346 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:32,080 Speaker 2: a good podcast. It doesn't matter, right, Like, it does 347 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:35,280 Speaker 2: not matter about like anything else. If you get it, 348 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:36,800 Speaker 2: what you do surrender us. 349 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,520 Speaker 1: Well, I think it's really cool that you were in 350 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:49,000 Speaker 1: this high profile career, everybody was in your business and 351 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:52,120 Speaker 1: you still allowed yourself the chance to find love and 352 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,600 Speaker 1: be who you knew you were always meant to be, right, 353 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:59,000 Speaker 1: and you did meet your husband, which I feel like 354 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:01,320 Speaker 1: a wink face is is what needs to be given 355 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:02,920 Speaker 1: all the credit for why you twour together. 356 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:08,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, the night we met, it was actually funny because 357 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,640 Speaker 2: it wasn't him that came over and asked for my number. 358 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:17,160 Speaker 2: It was my well, it was his assistant. He was 359 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:23,280 Speaker 2: very cute. Came over and Gate said, oh, Lance wants 360 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:25,680 Speaker 2: your your number, can you put it in? And I 361 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,400 Speaker 2: was like, yeah, sure, So I put my number in 362 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:30,280 Speaker 2: and then put a winky face at the end of it. 363 00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:34,240 Speaker 2: And that's when Lance said that no heterosexual man would 364 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 2: ever put a winky face at the end of their number. 365 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:41,040 Speaker 2: And that's when he knew. And that was twelve and 366 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:44,400 Speaker 2: a bit years ago. Now, wow, just crazy wow. 367 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:46,240 Speaker 1: And you weren't out to the public at the time. 368 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,760 Speaker 2: No, I wasn't, which was again a really scary thing 369 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:54,200 Speaker 2: because like growing up in the UK, it was like 370 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:56,720 Speaker 2: every single decision, every single thing that I did, was 371 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:59,120 Speaker 2: under some kind of media scrutiny. Like I had to 372 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,760 Speaker 2: know coming back from my first Olympics at fourteen, going 373 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,879 Speaker 2: back to school and dealing with bullying and the whole 374 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,520 Speaker 2: the UK, knowing that I was going through that, the 375 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,280 Speaker 2: whole of the UK, knowing that I'd lost my dad, 376 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:10,840 Speaker 2: all of these things that I was having to deal 377 00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:14,360 Speaker 2: with quite publicly, and now, you know, falling in love 378 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,960 Speaker 2: and being like, oh my gosh, what am I going 379 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,840 Speaker 2: to do here now? Because growing up is tough enough anyway, 380 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,119 Speaker 2: but then having to like explore your sexuality in a 381 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:24,000 Speaker 2: kind of hidden way and not really knowing what you 382 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,480 Speaker 2: can do. You don't want to get caught. But then 383 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 2: also you don't want to be ashamed of who you are. 384 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,200 Speaker 2: You don't want other people to think you're a shape. 385 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:33,960 Speaker 2: So it was really like there was so much going 386 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,080 Speaker 2: through my head at that point. It was it was 387 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:38,920 Speaker 2: a really challenging time, and I felt like that was 388 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,000 Speaker 2: why I decided to come out in the end of 389 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,840 Speaker 2: twenty thirteen, because I'd met Lance in the march. I 390 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:46,560 Speaker 2: told my friends and family, and it got to the 391 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,879 Speaker 2: point where I was asked in an interview what I 392 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,080 Speaker 2: thought of you know, or they said something like, what, 393 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:56,719 Speaker 2: you have lots of gay fans. Why do you think 394 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,159 Speaker 2: that is? And I was like, well, probably because I'm 395 00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,880 Speaker 2: half naked all the time, people that wear more close 396 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:04,359 Speaker 2: to bed than they do to work. So then they 397 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:05,840 Speaker 2: were like, okay, what about the people that think that 398 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:07,400 Speaker 2: you're gay? And I was like, what does it matter 399 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:10,480 Speaker 2: if I am? Like, it doesn't matter, And then the 400 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,080 Speaker 2: headline was that I am not gay, but I don't 401 00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:15,280 Speaker 2: care if you think I am, and I was so like, 402 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:18,879 Speaker 2: I was like really frustrated that that had kind of 403 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,159 Speaker 2: been taken that way. So then I got to a 404 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,439 Speaker 2: point I was like, you know what, it's time to 405 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:24,240 Speaker 2: come out. And I came out in a way that 406 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:27,840 Speaker 2: was the way that I knew how and that was 407 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:31,399 Speaker 2: through YouTube or through social media, because I didn't want 408 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,600 Speaker 2: anybody to ask any follow up questions. I didn't want 409 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,440 Speaker 2: anybody to twist my words. I just wanted to be 410 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,119 Speaker 2: able to say exactly what I wanted to say at 411 00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:40,439 Speaker 2: the time. And I think there was something that became 412 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:43,160 Speaker 2: to be quite powerful, and I believe now it's very 413 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,639 Speaker 2: powerful with social media, is being able to have a 414 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,199 Speaker 2: little bit more control over your narrative and not just 415 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:50,960 Speaker 2: kind of letting other people take control of that. 416 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,560 Speaker 1: And I love that you did that, even when I 417 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,000 Speaker 1: believe it was your management team at first was not 418 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:59,240 Speaker 1: for you being out, Yeah right, No, No, it was. 419 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,119 Speaker 2: Yeah. I was really terrified about coming out because I 420 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,280 Speaker 2: was told i'd lose sponsorship. I was told I would 421 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,399 Speaker 2: not be able to compete in certain countries, and it 422 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,679 Speaker 2: was really kind of like they had built it up 423 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,920 Speaker 2: that it was going to be like, you know, apocalyptic, 424 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:16,200 Speaker 2: and I you know, any coming out is hard enough 425 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,680 Speaker 2: anyway for anyone, no matter if you're in a place 426 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:21,720 Speaker 2: where it's super easy to come out or but it's 427 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:23,960 Speaker 2: it really felt like it was going to It was 428 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,639 Speaker 2: like coming up to this cliff where I was like, well, 429 00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:28,400 Speaker 2: I'm just this is this is the edge, and I 430 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,359 Speaker 2: am about to post this video and I have no 431 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,960 Speaker 2: idea what is going to be what's going to happen 432 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:37,639 Speaker 2: on the other side of this, And the reception was 433 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,200 Speaker 2: overwhelmingly positive. I mean, of course you can always get 434 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:44,160 Speaker 2: a few like derogatory things, but it was overwhelmingly positive. 435 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:45,600 Speaker 2: And I felt for the first time I could go 436 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:49,160 Speaker 2: into a competition, go into training, and just have that 437 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,520 Speaker 2: weight lifted off of me. And I felt that it 438 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:53,600 Speaker 2: was like so nice to be able to just have 439 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:56,080 Speaker 2: that be just feel like I could just be me. 440 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:59,040 Speaker 1: What a gift you gave yourself in that moment, even 441 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,480 Speaker 1: though you were scared and probably a little uneasy of 442 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:03,400 Speaker 1: what this would mean for your professional career you work 443 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:06,240 Speaker 1: so hard for, but you still allow yourself to go 444 00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:10,600 Speaker 1: forward and openly speak your truth, which I think is 445 00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,720 Speaker 1: really hard and really admirable for so many people listening 446 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,200 Speaker 1: right now who might be in a position we both were, 447 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:19,120 Speaker 1: you know, years ago, who are struggling with their identity 448 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,959 Speaker 1: or their sexuality. What would you say to them? 449 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,080 Speaker 2: I would say, find So I have my best friend, 450 00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:28,119 Speaker 2: Sophie was the first person that I told, and I 451 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:32,159 Speaker 2: would say, find your Sophie, find your person that you 452 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:36,159 Speaker 2: can confide in. And because saying it out loud to 453 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:42,640 Speaker 2: one other person changes everything keeping I kept so much 454 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:46,840 Speaker 2: to myself for the longest time, and I found it 455 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:52,000 Speaker 2: so difficult to just live each day without having to 456 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,600 Speaker 2: think about every single thing. I'd said, what happens if 457 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,199 Speaker 2: I do this, what happens if I say something in 458 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,400 Speaker 2: this kind of way, and just being able to say 459 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 2: it to one person just allows you to be Like, 460 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:03,960 Speaker 2: if you can be your one hundred percent yourself with 461 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:08,480 Speaker 2: one person, it just allows you to just finally live 462 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:11,080 Speaker 2: like because I would have then times where Sophie would 463 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,639 Speaker 2: come over and we would have like din and I 464 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,080 Speaker 2: could just be me. Not that I would be any different, 465 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:19,280 Speaker 2: but I just never had to worry about anything like 466 00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:22,280 Speaker 2: slipping up or like saying something or whatever it may 467 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,640 Speaker 2: have been. And so I would say I would encourage 468 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:27,440 Speaker 2: people to be able to find that person that they 469 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:28,399 Speaker 2: can really confide in. 470 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:30,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, even if they're not ready to tell everybody, just 471 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:32,640 Speaker 1: having someone is so important. 472 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:34,119 Speaker 2: Someone that they can trust, just to be able to 473 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,280 Speaker 2: you know, really, you know. And of course it takes 474 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,200 Speaker 2: time and it's difficult to find those people and I'm 475 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:40,919 Speaker 2: really lucky to have had those people around me. 476 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:42,760 Speaker 1: That's amazing. I love that, and I love that we 477 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:45,080 Speaker 1: see in this documentary so much about that because it 478 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,760 Speaker 1: is an important piece of your life and your story 479 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,120 Speaker 1: that I think a lot of people will be able 480 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,920 Speaker 1: to relate to. And you open up about so many 481 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:53,800 Speaker 1: other things. And I don't want to go into everything 482 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,000 Speaker 1: because people need to watch it. But one of the 483 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,639 Speaker 1: things that definitely struck me was your relationship with body. 484 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:00,679 Speaker 1: And I think as men, we don't talk about that 485 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:04,040 Speaker 1: a lot. And I thought that was really cool you 486 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:06,840 Speaker 1: put it out there, and also really sad that somebody 487 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:09,560 Speaker 1: professionally made you think that something was wrong with you 488 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:10,919 Speaker 1: at a certain point. 489 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, I got it. Was like right before the London 490 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,640 Speaker 2: twenty twelve Olympics, my performance director said that I needed 491 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:18,280 Speaker 2: to lose weight and that I was overweight and he 492 00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:19,840 Speaker 2: wanted to need to look more like I did in 493 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,920 Speaker 2: two thousand and eight, but I mean I was coming 494 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,680 Speaker 2: up for eighteen and in twentyd and eight, I was fourteen, 495 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,560 Speaker 2: and I'm you know, an eighteen year old's never going 496 00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,119 Speaker 2: to look like a fourteen year old again. And it 497 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,200 Speaker 2: was the first time that people I felt like people 498 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,639 Speaker 2: were looking at my body more in not just a 499 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:37,640 Speaker 2: performance way, as the way that it looked. And ever 500 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,160 Speaker 2: since then I kind of spiraled into this not really 501 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:41,720 Speaker 2: knowing what to do with that. I didn't have the 502 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:45,400 Speaker 2: nutritional information I didn't have, and I didn't really want 503 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:48,440 Speaker 2: to bring too much up with my psychologists because men 504 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,080 Speaker 2: didn't have eating disorders. Men didn't have any problems with, 505 00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:53,840 Speaker 2: you know, struggling to figure out what they should or 506 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:57,040 Speaker 2: shouldn't eat, and then not eating and then eating too 507 00:22:57,119 --> 00:23:00,320 Speaker 2: much and then completely binging and then have to do 508 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,280 Speaker 2: feeling so guilty you have to do something about that, 509 00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:05,719 Speaker 2: and then it kind of just spiraled from there. And 510 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:10,480 Speaker 2: what was hard is because I know rationally that I 511 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:12,879 Speaker 2: know that I'm doing fine and it's all good, but 512 00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:15,000 Speaker 2: there's just this thing in the back of your head 513 00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:16,960 Speaker 2: that makes you question every single thing that you eat, 514 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,560 Speaker 2: every single thing that you do, feeling guilty for like 515 00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:22,880 Speaker 2: feeling like you. And I would weigh myself every single day. 516 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,000 Speaker 2: The coaches would make me weigh myself and if you 517 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:26,480 Speaker 2: weren't at the right way, you'd have to go and 518 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:29,199 Speaker 2: run until you lost weight. And it was all of 519 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:33,760 Speaker 2: these things and it really created an unhealthy body image 520 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:37,040 Speaker 2: thing where And also there's such high standards when it 521 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,840 Speaker 2: comes to things on social media, and it's and no 522 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:44,600 Speaker 2: matter how rationally you can think in being able to 523 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:48,880 Speaker 2: say I'm doing fine, like we're good, there's always something. 524 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,879 Speaker 2: There's always something in the back of your head. And 525 00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:52,800 Speaker 2: I know people think, oh, gosh, he's doing all right, 526 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:57,080 Speaker 2: like boohoo, poor you. But like I know rationally that yes, 527 00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:00,399 Speaker 2: I know, but it's not as simple as that, and 528 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:03,520 Speaker 2: it wouldn't be like and that's something that I've had 529 00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:05,879 Speaker 2: to It's been one of my biggest struggles in my life, honestly, 530 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:10,720 Speaker 2: with body image. And I know that seems extreme to say, 531 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:14,240 Speaker 2: but it's you know, when you spend your whole life 532 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:17,760 Speaker 2: out on a platform with no clothes on, it's a 533 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:21,800 Speaker 2: very vulnerable position to be in. And if you're you've 534 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:24,160 Speaker 2: gone from just being able to not care at all 535 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,360 Speaker 2: with what you're wearing and out competing and doing your 536 00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:28,320 Speaker 2: thing and having the time of your life to then 537 00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:30,080 Speaker 2: somebody commenting on that and you're like, oh my gosh, 538 00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:32,200 Speaker 2: people are looking at me like that was the first 539 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:35,960 Speaker 2: time that I didn't I thought, oh god, Like every 540 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,240 Speaker 2: time I go out there, people are looking at if 541 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,639 Speaker 2: I'm fat or not. And it played with my head 542 00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,240 Speaker 2: like really bad for a really long time. And I 543 00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:46,479 Speaker 2: feel like I'm getting better with it now, but you know, 544 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,560 Speaker 2: it's still plays on my mind. 545 00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:50,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's still something I'm sure you have to work 546 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:53,200 Speaker 1: throughout certain times, right, Yeah. 547 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,080 Speaker 2: And I think it's also because I've spent my whole 548 00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:57,439 Speaker 2: life as an athlete, people assume that I'm just going 549 00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,800 Speaker 2: to be in the best shape all year round, right, 550 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 2: There's no ups and downs to it. So then if 551 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:05,119 Speaker 2: you go to like a I know this is niche, 552 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:07,720 Speaker 2: but like if you go to a photo shoot or 553 00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:09,240 Speaker 2: you go to anything like that, and then they're like, 554 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,480 Speaker 2: oh yeah, well you like take your top off and 555 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:15,280 Speaker 2: you're like, oh god, like you know, I'm And it's 556 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,119 Speaker 2: hard now as a retired athlete as well, going into 557 00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:20,840 Speaker 2: anything where you're like, okay, well, normally I would be 558 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:22,399 Speaker 2: training six hours a day, six days a week and 559 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,399 Speaker 2: i'd be, you know, in pretty good condition. Now like 560 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:28,359 Speaker 2: my training regime is not the same, and it's just 561 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,360 Speaker 2: like and now everything is slightly different, and so then 562 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,879 Speaker 2: you have it all kind of triggers things in different ways. 563 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,560 Speaker 2: But you know, it's again, it's something that I have 564 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,720 Speaker 2: to I just have to keep working well. 565 00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:41,480 Speaker 1: And I think it's important to talk about too, because 566 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,520 Speaker 1: when you have a certain type of and if this 567 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:47,000 Speaker 1: phrase isn't correct, forgive me, but what I interpret as 568 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,320 Speaker 1: like a body dysmorphia, you can't control what you think. 569 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,240 Speaker 1: So even someone on the outside saying, well Tom looks great, 570 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 1: and I don't understand, and that's just so silly that yeah, yes, 571 00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:00,640 Speaker 1: sure that's great, but you can't control what you think 572 00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:02,879 Speaker 1: when you go through something like that. And I have 573 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:04,680 Speaker 1: a background. I came from the modeling world and I 574 00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:07,080 Speaker 1: saw it all the time, and I had agents say 575 00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:08,760 Speaker 1: to me, you know, I was a former gymnast and 576 00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:10,720 Speaker 1: they'd say your back, stupid, you're next, too fat, like 577 00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:13,239 Speaker 1: all the things that to fuck with you, and you 578 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:16,800 Speaker 1: can't help that. It's part of when you're learning who 579 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:19,120 Speaker 1: you are and coming to terms with who you're going 580 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,199 Speaker 1: to be. Those opinions matter, yeah, and it takes a 581 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,200 Speaker 1: while to shake them, sometimes totally. 582 00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:26,760 Speaker 2: And it's you know, of course, like if you were 583 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,960 Speaker 2: able to think about it rationally, it wouldn't be an issue. 584 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:33,560 Speaker 2: But that's the problem. And I think lots of men, 585 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:37,880 Speaker 2: especially in the gay community, really do struggle with that 586 00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:41,440 Speaker 2: because they it's there's so many standards out there, and 587 00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:44,200 Speaker 2: you're always chasing that something else, and although you may 588 00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:49,240 Speaker 2: be the person that the somebody is aiming towards getting towards, 589 00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:52,399 Speaker 2: you're also then working towards getting to somebody else in 590 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,120 Speaker 2: terms of like body aesthetic that you might be going for. 591 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:58,520 Speaker 2: And it's so it's this constant thing and then you 592 00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:00,720 Speaker 2: know it's annoyay. It's that you find your like hating 593 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,320 Speaker 2: the way that you look, and then you look back, 594 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:05,919 Speaker 2: and then in two years time goes by and then 595 00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:07,199 Speaker 2: you look back, you know, like, oh my gosh, I 596 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,280 Speaker 2: wish I look like that again. And then it's this 597 00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:12,760 Speaker 2: about never being happy with like where you're at. And 598 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,320 Speaker 2: I don't know if that's like a constant thing around 599 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:18,080 Speaker 2: perfectionism that I've had in sport or anything like that, 600 00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:22,120 Speaker 2: but I feel like there are more men than probably 601 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,480 Speaker 2: care to admit that worry about that stuff as. 602 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:26,600 Speaker 1: Well, one hundred percent. That's why I said earlier, it's 603 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:28,800 Speaker 1: so important that you brought it up. And whether everybody 604 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:32,040 Speaker 1: understands it or not, that's not your business, right because 605 00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,800 Speaker 1: you're speaking your truth and you hope that it can 606 00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:36,919 Speaker 1: help somebody who does go through something in a similar way. 607 00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,040 Speaker 1: So I think that that alone is a message we 608 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:41,919 Speaker 1: need more of. And I'm glad that it's in the 609 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:44,159 Speaker 1: documentary and that you got to speak about it more 610 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,560 Speaker 1: today because we need that as men. We need to 611 00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:49,119 Speaker 1: stop pretending like everything's always okay and we're macho and 612 00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:50,960 Speaker 1: don't feel and go through the same shit that a 613 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,760 Speaker 1: lot of women go through. It's human nature, I know. 614 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,560 Speaker 2: And that's that's another thing when it came to the 615 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,720 Speaker 2: grieving process and my dad, like, it's just there's always 616 00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:03,600 Speaker 2: a these stereotypes of what a man should be, and like, 617 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,359 Speaker 2: at the end of the day, a man can be 618 00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:08,159 Speaker 2: so many different things, and I think we have to, 619 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,440 Speaker 2: you know, embrace our emotions more. And I just really 620 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:13,320 Speaker 2: struggle with that. I always have my guard up around 621 00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:13,760 Speaker 2: that stuff. 622 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:17,160 Speaker 1: So, yeah, yeah, what is your relationship with grief like today? 623 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:20,359 Speaker 1: Because it's something that again we don't speak about a lot, 624 00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:22,920 Speaker 1: and that happened. You lost your dad a while ago now, 625 00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:25,400 Speaker 1: but do you still have a relationship you're working through 626 00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:25,919 Speaker 1: with grief? 627 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:30,080 Speaker 2: Yes, I mean grief kind of like is always there, right, 628 00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:34,480 Speaker 2: And I feel like this documentary really kind of tapped 629 00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:37,560 Speaker 2: into that in a weird kind of like therapy way. 630 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,800 Speaker 2: But I still find myself I lost my granddad last year, 631 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,880 Speaker 2: and I also found myself kind of like not really 632 00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:48,479 Speaker 2: acknowledging it and kind of being like, well, you know, 633 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:52,360 Speaker 2: that happened, move on, and like not being able to. 634 00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:56,960 Speaker 2: It's almost like sometimes when things feel so bad, you 635 00:28:57,080 --> 00:29:00,800 Speaker 2: just like you don't acknowledge that it happen. And I 636 00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:03,320 Speaker 2: feel like that's almost what's happened. Even at the time, 637 00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:05,600 Speaker 2: that's what happened with my dad, Like I felt like 638 00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:08,239 Speaker 2: his memory was still so alive that it was you know, 639 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,880 Speaker 2: he was still around. But now I find myself having 640 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:15,080 Speaker 2: days where I'm like, oh, gosh, he's like not forgetting 641 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,000 Speaker 2: that he was around, but like you have a day 642 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,280 Speaker 2: where you don't he isn't necessarily at the front of 643 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,719 Speaker 2: mine at every single moment, and you're like, oh my gosh, 644 00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:26,240 Speaker 2: Like that's and I feel bad for that, and then 645 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:29,240 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh should I like, how should he be 646 00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:31,400 Speaker 2: involved in my life now that he's no longer here? 647 00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:34,040 Speaker 2: And how often should I be thinking of him? Is 648 00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:36,680 Speaker 2: that everything that I because now I'm a dad myself, 649 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:40,880 Speaker 2: so my all my time and effort and energy goes 650 00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,440 Speaker 2: into them, and like, once you kind of go for 651 00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:47,200 Speaker 2: that full circle moment, it really feels I don't know, 652 00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:51,000 Speaker 2: like I understand, Like I can't even imagine what my 653 00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:53,640 Speaker 2: dad was going through finding out that he had this 654 00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:57,360 Speaker 2: terminal diagnosis. And he was thirty five when he found 655 00:29:57,400 --> 00:29:59,760 Speaker 2: out that he was he had this diagnosis, and he 656 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:03,320 Speaker 2: died when he was forty, so, which is now being 657 00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:06,560 Speaker 2: thirty one that is so like forty is so like 658 00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:11,479 Speaker 2: incredibly young. And you know, he had three kids, Like 659 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:14,760 Speaker 2: I was the oldest seventeen, My brother was fifteen, and 660 00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,040 Speaker 2: my youngest brother was twelve at the time, and so 661 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,560 Speaker 2: they were really young to lose their dad. And it's 662 00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:23,120 Speaker 2: it's just yeah, I think now coming full circle and 663 00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:27,360 Speaker 2: being a parent and seeing the sacrifices that he made 664 00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:31,200 Speaker 2: for us as kids and now being able to do 665 00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:33,960 Speaker 2: the same for my children is you know, I just 666 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:35,959 Speaker 2: hope that I have the same relationship that I did 667 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:38,120 Speaker 2: with my dad, and I feel like I have that 668 00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:41,480 Speaker 2: with my kids, which has been so lovely. Like we 669 00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:45,080 Speaker 2: named our oldest son after my dad, so he's a Robbie, 670 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:48,840 Speaker 2: so it's you know, yeah, it does feel like it's 671 00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:50,440 Speaker 2: and I feel like this is what the documentary kind 672 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:52,280 Speaker 2: of did. It was like me with my dad and 673 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,240 Speaker 2: kind of getting into like my life and then by 674 00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:57,440 Speaker 2: the end I was able to dive at the Olympics 675 00:30:57,440 --> 00:30:59,280 Speaker 2: in front of my kids and it kind of all 676 00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:00,760 Speaker 2: came full circle. 677 00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:02,720 Speaker 1: It was such a cool moment to see that and 678 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:06,080 Speaker 1: the pride on your family's faces, you know when that 679 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:08,920 Speaker 1: moment happened. It's really cool and I love that the 680 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,600 Speaker 1: kids got to experience that and what a proud moment 681 00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:14,200 Speaker 1: that it must have been for them. It's it's beautiful. 682 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,320 Speaker 1: Maybe got me a little emotional watching And I'm not 683 00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:25,440 Speaker 1: gonna lie. Are you tired of everybody asking you if 684 00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,120 Speaker 1: you're really retired? Because I know it comes up in 685 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,400 Speaker 1: every interview. Are you over it? Are you tired? Or 686 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:31,480 Speaker 1: you like, stop asking me. 687 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:36,120 Speaker 2: I'm tired of retired? No, I know if I'm being honest, like, 688 00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:39,760 Speaker 2: if it wasn't for like the kids and like other 689 00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:41,880 Speaker 2: things and just wanting to be able to live life 690 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:45,360 Speaker 2: while I still like can I you know, who knows. 691 00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:48,600 Speaker 2: I might have carried on, but I also like most 692 00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:51,520 Speaker 2: divers are like that, they retired between the ages of 693 00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:53,800 Speaker 2: like twenty four and twenty six. I carried on until 694 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:58,120 Speaker 2: I was thirty, and you know, like my body kind 695 00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:00,920 Speaker 2: of was falling apart. You know, I did get to 696 00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:02,720 Speaker 2: the end of the documentary. When I first watched it, 697 00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:04,959 Speaker 2: I was like, ah, I want to do that again, like, 698 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:08,200 Speaker 2: because there is nothing no feeling like being able to 699 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:11,200 Speaker 2: stand on top of an Olympic platform when you're competing 700 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:13,240 Speaker 2: at the Olympics that you work really hard for, the 701 00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:16,920 Speaker 2: adrenaline rush of it, the excitement of it, the competition 702 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:18,440 Speaker 2: of it all, and then standing on the top of 703 00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:21,800 Speaker 2: a podium and there is no feeling like that. There 704 00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:25,440 Speaker 2: isn't that. Let's say, there's not a knitting Olympics the 705 00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:29,080 Speaker 2: way you can speed knit and get on top of 706 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:30,960 Speaker 2: a podium. There isn't There isn't a feeling like that. 707 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:34,760 Speaker 2: So it's definitely an adjustment to figure out what that 708 00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:39,600 Speaker 2: next thing is for me. But yeah, no, I think 709 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:42,120 Speaker 2: I'm I'm happy right now being retired. 710 00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:44,480 Speaker 1: Would you ever consider coaching? 711 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:49,400 Speaker 2: You know, I thought I might have considered coaching. I'd 712 00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:51,440 Speaker 2: definitely be up for mentoring. I do mentor a couple 713 00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:57,480 Speaker 2: of athletes currently, but I coaching. For me, coaches are 714 00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:02,280 Speaker 2: the most under race people on the planet because they 715 00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:06,640 Speaker 2: are there every single training session. They're through the whole thing. Yeah, 716 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:10,120 Speaker 2: they don't do it and they like So for me, 717 00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:12,840 Speaker 2: if I was there for every single training session, every 718 00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:17,520 Speaker 2: single competition, I'd rather do it. Be like, yeah, I'd 719 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,720 Speaker 2: rather do it myself and you know, be involved in 720 00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:24,840 Speaker 2: it and really be in it. But you know, if 721 00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,240 Speaker 2: it ever came to it, but yeah, I would definitely coach. 722 00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:31,000 Speaker 2: But for right now, I think there's lots of other 723 00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:32,920 Speaker 2: things I want to do. It might be like I 724 00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,280 Speaker 2: feel like, and I know it sounds silly, but I 725 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:38,400 Speaker 2: feel like coaching for me would feel like a retirement job, 726 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:42,200 Speaker 2: whereas I kind of want to figure out another career 727 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:45,920 Speaker 2: before that. Maybe when I'm like, I say retirement job, 728 00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:48,760 Speaker 2: but like maybe the last ten years of my working life, 729 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:49,960 Speaker 2: i'd work as a coach. 730 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:52,960 Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, I think what's cool is the world is 731 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:55,520 Speaker 1: your oyster we're gonna we're gonna see where you end 732 00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:57,800 Speaker 1: up and what you keep doing, and you, only you 733 00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:00,200 Speaker 1: will figure that out, and you're gonna do what makes 734 00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:02,400 Speaker 1: you happy. You've already accomplished so much, so now it's 735 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:04,000 Speaker 1: your time to figure out what you want that to 736 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,360 Speaker 1: look like next for you. And in the meantime, you know, 737 00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:07,560 Speaker 1: I hope you have a hell of a lot of 738 00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,320 Speaker 1: fun doing it all. I mean, aren't you doing Traders 739 00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:10,799 Speaker 1: coming up? 740 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:13,520 Speaker 2: I have filmed The Traders, which was so much fun. 741 00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:14,120 Speaker 1: Was that fine? 742 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:16,279 Speaker 2: It was a lot of fun. And I also just 743 00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:19,880 Speaker 2: finished filming a new TV show called Game of waol. 744 00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:23,840 Speaker 1: I know it sounds sounds like a competition series involving 745 00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:25,080 Speaker 1: knitting exactly. 746 00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:28,279 Speaker 2: It's like a fake off for knitting. I'm hosting this 747 00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:30,560 Speaker 2: TV show. We've got two judges and then there's like 748 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:34,680 Speaker 2: ten contestants, and each week someone gets cast off, which 749 00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:36,279 Speaker 2: is a knitting pun. If you know how to knit, 750 00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:38,360 Speaker 2: you cast off your stitches, off your needles. It's you know, 751 00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:43,840 Speaker 2: it's I never knew that there were so many puns 752 00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:46,560 Speaker 2: in the world of knitting. I don't actually know how 753 00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:48,320 Speaker 2: much is actually going to be able to be safe 754 00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:51,640 Speaker 2: for TV. To be honest, but it was it was 755 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:52,160 Speaker 2: a lot of fun. 756 00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:54,360 Speaker 1: Okay, we look forward to both of those. Was it 757 00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:56,320 Speaker 1: while being away for traders because you don't used to 758 00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:57,960 Speaker 1: give up your phone and like all of it? 759 00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:00,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, they have, like I think for this version they 760 00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,600 Speaker 2: had some kind of like rules with people with children 761 00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:07,319 Speaker 2: to be able to still have some communication. But it 762 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:11,000 Speaker 2: was a Yeah, it was a very wild experience, but 763 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:12,000 Speaker 2: it was a lot of fun. 764 00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:14,600 Speaker 1: Good for you all part of your next journey, which 765 00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:17,359 Speaker 1: I love, Tom. I could talk to you for hours more. 766 00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:20,239 Speaker 1: I'm just I'm loving this conversation. And no surprise, after 767 00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:22,640 Speaker 1: I watched the documentary, I knew I would. But as 768 00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:24,600 Speaker 1: we start to wrap up, the name of the show 769 00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:26,799 Speaker 1: is called I've never said this before, and it was 770 00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:28,839 Speaker 1: born because I cover a lot of red carpets and 771 00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,800 Speaker 1: press junkets where you have three minutes maybe five minutes 772 00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:35,480 Speaker 1: with somebody and it's all sound by conversation and it's not, 773 00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:38,560 Speaker 1: in my opinion, the realist conversation you can have. And 774 00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:42,719 Speaker 1: I love bringing on inspiring influential people and getting to 775 00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:45,080 Speaker 1: see real sides to you and getting giving you an 776 00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:47,960 Speaker 1: opportunity to talk about things that means something to you. 777 00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:50,840 Speaker 1: So I wrap up every episode by asking, what is 778 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:53,920 Speaker 1: one thing you've never said before whatever that means to you. 779 00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:59,279 Speaker 2: Oh, gosh, something I've never said before. I feel like 780 00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:01,520 Speaker 2: I've been such an open book my whole life that 781 00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:05,200 Speaker 2: I've always spoken very openly about everything that I think 782 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:14,560 Speaker 2: something I've never said before is as a parent, I 783 00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:21,359 Speaker 2: find that being two working parents is one of the 784 00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:25,239 Speaker 2: most difficult things and something that I wasn't anticipating being 785 00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:30,120 Speaker 2: as difficult as it was, because your kids are the 786 00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,440 Speaker 2: most important thing in your whole life, right, and you 787 00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:35,239 Speaker 2: will do anything for them, and they are therefore like 788 00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:38,759 Speaker 2: they are the most important things in your life. Every 789 00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:44,440 Speaker 2: decision you make, they come first. But when you're in 790 00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:47,000 Speaker 2: the trenches and currently, like we have a two year 791 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:49,080 Speaker 2: old that's party training, I've been picking up poop off 792 00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,920 Speaker 2: the pool side, and we've been doing all kinds of things. 793 00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:55,560 Speaker 2: But that I feel like not enough people talk about 794 00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:59,480 Speaker 2: the guilt of being a working parent and trying to 795 00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:02,759 Speaker 2: figure out the balance of being around because when I'm 796 00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:06,279 Speaker 2: in LA I'm like, they're like, I am like there 797 00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:09,839 Speaker 2: all day and not doing as much stuff, whereas then 798 00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:12,040 Speaker 2: I have to travel to do work and the guilt 799 00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:14,640 Speaker 2: that I feel being away from my kids is so 800 00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:18,120 Speaker 2: it like rips my heart open and to the point 801 00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:21,160 Speaker 2: where I try to condense everything as humanly possible. I mean, 802 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,799 Speaker 2: I've taken the Red Eye to come here. I'm here 803 00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:27,160 Speaker 2: for thirty six hours maybe less, and then flying back. 804 00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:30,239 Speaker 2: But I feel like I've probably never really spoken about 805 00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:32,200 Speaker 2: the guilt that i feel about being away from my 806 00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:36,719 Speaker 2: kids when I'm doing any of my work stuff. And 807 00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:39,040 Speaker 2: I know parents have to work and you can't be 808 00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:43,319 Speaker 2: around your kids all the time, but that I yeah, 809 00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:46,440 Speaker 2: and being able to balance that with Lance's career and 810 00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:50,200 Speaker 2: my career as something that I've really kind of struggled with. 811 00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:53,360 Speaker 2: But it's something that I always feel really bad talking 812 00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:56,719 Speaker 2: about because I'm also very lucky to have the opportunity 813 00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:58,279 Speaker 2: to work in the places that I do and the 814 00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:01,600 Speaker 2: things that I do. But it's just, yeah, I think 815 00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:03,680 Speaker 2: that's probably something I've actually never said before. The guilt 816 00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:05,840 Speaker 2: that I feel when I go to work. 817 00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:07,960 Speaker 1: Well, that's very human. I mean I'm not a parent myself, 818 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,840 Speaker 1: but I have a lot of friends who experience that, 819 00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:14,319 Speaker 1: and it is it is part of being a working person, right, 820 00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:15,879 Speaker 1: It's not and you don't have a nine to five, 821 00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:17,440 Speaker 1: So you do have these weird hours where you are 822 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,440 Speaker 1: away for periods of time, and I imagine that does 823 00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:23,360 Speaker 1: sometimes get kind of heavy on the heart, right. 824 00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:25,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, it does get heavy on the heart. And then like, 825 00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:29,080 Speaker 2: for example, you know, always one of us will be 826 00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:32,200 Speaker 2: able to make it, but like being here today, Like 827 00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:38,360 Speaker 2: there's Robbie's animal project at school, for example, that they're presenting, 828 00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:42,280 Speaker 2: and like, I it eats me up inside that I'm 829 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:44,840 Speaker 2: not there for that today, Like I've been for all 830 00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,880 Speaker 2: of his other shows this whole year, but it's like 831 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:51,319 Speaker 2: like I'm missing one and I feel so awful about it, 832 00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:55,440 Speaker 2: and there's no way of being able to you know, 833 00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:59,640 Speaker 2: like what do you do in that situation because you 834 00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:03,520 Speaker 2: have to work? But then like yeah, so that eats 835 00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:03,839 Speaker 2: me up. 836 00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:05,920 Speaker 1: Do you ever have a day as a parent, as 837 00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:08,960 Speaker 1: a dad where it's just like the guilt is so 838 00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:10,880 Speaker 1: intense and you have so much going on that you 839 00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:12,759 Speaker 1: just break down and you're like this this is just 840 00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:13,960 Speaker 1: I'm done. 841 00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:17,719 Speaker 2: I think lots of parents will do get to the 842 00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:21,279 Speaker 2: point where you're like oh my gosh and completely overwhelmed 843 00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:24,520 Speaker 2: and completely you know, in over your head and you're like, 844 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:28,480 Speaker 2: oh my gosh, like, how how do I deal with 845 00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:33,239 Speaker 2: this situation? Because you know, there's where with a seven 846 00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,160 Speaker 2: year old and a two year old, like the seven 847 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:37,880 Speaker 2: year old is very much doing his own thing now, 848 00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:41,120 Speaker 2: but the two year old is like, especially the second child, 849 00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:43,920 Speaker 2: he's feral. He likes to climb, run, jump, and do 850 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:48,200 Speaker 2: all So there's always this kind of humming background stress 851 00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:50,480 Speaker 2: all the time to make sure that they're okay. And 852 00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:53,360 Speaker 2: it's yeah, there are times where you're like, oh my gosh, like, 853 00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:56,400 Speaker 2: how how am I ever going to be able to 854 00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:59,440 Speaker 2: do all of this stuff and be able to manage it? 855 00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:02,400 Speaker 2: And it does feel overwhelming and I think, you know, 856 00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:05,000 Speaker 2: parents always tried to put on a brave face and 857 00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:06,799 Speaker 2: be like, you know, it's we're good, it's this is 858 00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:08,480 Speaker 2: this is part of it, it's all part of it. 859 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:11,919 Speaker 2: It's all good. But actually it's it's really hard. It's 860 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:15,000 Speaker 2: beautiful and it's amazing and it's magical and it's so 861 00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:18,880 Speaker 2: much love there, but it's it's hard, and you think, yeah, 862 00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:20,960 Speaker 2: so some days I just want to kind of I 863 00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:22,640 Speaker 2: guess I want to say, like two other parents out 864 00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:25,799 Speaker 2: there that you know, I see you when you're in 865 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:28,880 Speaker 2: the trenches for this like there's some difficult age ranges. 866 00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:33,239 Speaker 2: It's yeah, it's we're all going through it, and it's 867 00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:37,120 Speaker 2: a and I guess lots of the parents that have 868 00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:38,920 Speaker 2: older kids, but like, you'll get through it and you'll 869 00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,080 Speaker 2: wish you were back in this in this stage, so 870 00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:44,240 Speaker 2: you know, we'll see ask me in two years. 871 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:46,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Well that's why I love the show and 872 00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:48,759 Speaker 1: I love that question because of answers like that, and 873 00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:50,960 Speaker 1: it just connects people and in a way that makes 874 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:52,680 Speaker 1: you feel like, oh my god, I'm not going through 875 00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:55,520 Speaker 1: this alone and other people think like me, and I 876 00:40:55,560 --> 00:40:58,200 Speaker 1: just think that's really cool and we can collectively come 877 00:40:58,239 --> 00:41:01,279 Speaker 1: together and share those speriences that many of us go 878 00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:03,799 Speaker 1: through and we just don't always talk about. So thank 879 00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:06,319 Speaker 1: you for answering that, and thank you for hanging out. 880 00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:08,279 Speaker 1: I know you've done a lot of press throughout the 881 00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:10,040 Speaker 1: course of your career, and I'm sure you have a 882 00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:14,080 Speaker 1: very interesting relationship with press, you know, from your time 883 00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:18,480 Speaker 1: as a professional athlete and to today. So hopefully you 884 00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:19,680 Speaker 1: came in here feeling good. 885 00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:22,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was fun accompany. It's all gone so quickly, 886 00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:23,520 Speaker 2: I know. 887 00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:26,000 Speaker 1: Well, I love your story, I love your documentary. So 888 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:30,239 Speaker 1: for everybody listening. It's available exclusively on Olympics dot Com 889 00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:34,160 Speaker 1: in the US and Discovery Plus in the UK, So 890 00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,359 Speaker 1: everybody watch it right now. It is so fantastic, and 891 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,000 Speaker 1: thank you for hanging out, and thank you for being 892 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:41,440 Speaker 1: a pillar in the community that so many people can 893 00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:41,880 Speaker 1: look up to. 894 00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:44,279 Speaker 2: Well, thank you for having me. And now I have 895 00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:45,880 Speaker 2: to just stay awake because I'm hoping to go to 896 00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:47,720 Speaker 2: the theater this evening very nice. 897 00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:53,160 Speaker 1: Well, I hope you stay away. Thank you. I've never 898 00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:56,280 Speaker 1: said this before. It is hosted by Me Tommy Diderio. 899 00:41:57,000 --> 00:42:01,240 Speaker 1: This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Pivle at iHeartRadio 900 00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:05,680 Speaker 1: and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've 901 00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:08,160 Speaker 1: Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis Durant 902 00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:12,440 Speaker 1: podcast Network on iHeart Podcasts. For more rate review and 903 00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:15,440 Speaker 1: subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode, 904 00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:20,000 Speaker 1: tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy Diderio.