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Speaker 1: Mm from grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl in

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Speaker 1: two fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers

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Speaker 1: to always keep their eyes open. You be queen, you

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Speaker 1: were fired. You will pass through centuries on the hands

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Speaker 1: of your daughters. They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the

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Speaker 1: backs of diamond eyed school children who growing into hymnals

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Speaker 1: recited by amethyst holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments

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Speaker 1: out of the windows of restored ALCHEMYO cheriots to keep

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Speaker 1: the warmth of their blood. Be wise, be smart, being black,

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Speaker 1: Opal Brown courts, bloodstone and prayer. Be every form of

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Speaker 1: Jim se King told, scribe, scribe, told son, son, told wife,

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Speaker 1: wife told her daughter, and daughter told the ant is.

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Speaker 1: And the ancestors told me that you would come to

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Speaker 1: give wisdom. Thousands They said you would come. Dropping. Hey,

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Speaker 1: it's Debbie Brown. Welcome back to another episode of the

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Speaker 1: Dropping Jim's Podcast. We are at episode number eleven and

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Speaker 1: I have a super funny story, funny to me story. Uh.

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Speaker 1: Today's guest is a very very dear old friend of mine.

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Speaker 1: We have done some really cool creative work together. He

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Speaker 1: is a musical genius, um so many albums, so many projects,

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Speaker 1: so many incredible artists that he has worked with and

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Speaker 1: one Grammys with on his roster. He is a father,

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Speaker 1: He is a jazz musician, He is a hip hop musician.

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Speaker 1: He scores films. I mean, like, this guy is everything.

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Speaker 1: He is your favorite artist, probably favorite producer, perhaps instrumentalist. Uh,

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Speaker 1: welcome to the show, Taras Smart. Hey, hey, but I'm

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Speaker 1: disappointed you left out one thing. I make the most

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Speaker 1: amazing vegan tacos. Right, Okay, Now, every this is the thing.

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Speaker 1: Every day I've been like looking up recipes and every

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Speaker 1: day I go in and make vegan. Yeah. Well you

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Speaker 1: know what, just recently I tried the Popeye chicken salwich.

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Speaker 1: You did, so you decided murder and eat an animal

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Speaker 1: because of black Twitter? Why I don't think Popeye is

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Speaker 1: real chicken? Okay, oh god, it's a good. Wait. So

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Speaker 1: let me give everybody a little background. So Terrace and I,

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Speaker 1: first of all, we go way, way, way, way way back. Um,

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Speaker 1: and for for anybody listening right now that is like

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Speaker 1: familiar with my career over the years. And you know

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Speaker 1: my first running radio, which is right which was right

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Speaker 1: here in l A. Then you'll remember that Terrice and

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Speaker 1: I had a very special project together that dropped in

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Speaker 1: two thousand and ten. We did a mixtape album together

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Speaker 1: called Here My Dear, and we had pretty much everybody

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Speaker 1: on it, probably before you became familiar with their music,

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Speaker 1: Like who were some of the artists on Here My Dear?

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Speaker 1: Um you and I, Dom Kennedy, uh, Kendrick Lamar with Khalifa, yeah,

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Speaker 1: uh man. So many people shot up to bad Luck,

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Speaker 1: bad Luck Problem, you know a lot of those guys.

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Speaker 1: And then we had some O G s on it,

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Speaker 1: like Charlie Wilson, Charlie Wilson, Snoop Dogg, Corrupt, DJ Quick,

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Speaker 1: DJ Quick, DJ Quick, J Black Tone. Uh. Yeah. It

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Speaker 1: was a really, really special and that was a special

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Speaker 1: time because that was good. The Internet hadn't yet found

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Speaker 1: its place all the way yet. It was still it

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Speaker 1: was like we were all growing together with the internet.

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Speaker 1: I was like talking you and I was I remember

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Speaker 1: explaining to you what blogs were and why it mattered

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Speaker 1: if your music got on them or not. Yeah. I

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Speaker 1: was like, wait, so we so wait, no, so you

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Speaker 1: don't get paid, so you give it away, so you

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Speaker 1: work hard and give it away, Like this makes no

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Speaker 1: to me. Where is my publishing. Yeah, yeah, that was

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Speaker 1: that was a really it was such a special time

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Speaker 1: for like emerging hip hop, but specifically for like l

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Speaker 1: A musicians. It was. I can't really think of a

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Speaker 1: time more special. Also, I'm biased because I was a

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Speaker 1: part of it, but well now it was, it was,

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Speaker 1: it was, it was. You know, it's funny. It was

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Speaker 1: a special time for us in l A. And what

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Speaker 1: I've come to find out by traveling it was it

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Speaker 1: was a special time for the world. Yeah. Yeah, you

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Speaker 1: were able to really have access to the really pure

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Speaker 1: musical offerings of people, not not the offerings that people

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Speaker 1: from a city made to hopefully get picked up in

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Speaker 1: other markets. Like you were no matter where in the

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Speaker 1: world you were, you could be a fly on the

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Speaker 1: wall of like a vibe happening here wherever. You could

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Speaker 1: cut the middleman out. Yeah, you could cut opinions out.

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Speaker 1: You could cut that's not good enough so you can't

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Speaker 1: put your music out, Yeah, like you could be your

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Speaker 1: own an or you can run your own career with

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Speaker 1: the internet. So true, and and it's really before because

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Speaker 1: and I know I say this all the time. So

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Speaker 1: for y'all that are like warriors of the podcast, you

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Speaker 1: like you always talking about what Twitter used to be,

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Speaker 1: but you know, around around that time, it was you know,

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Speaker 1: Twitter really was just a place that like industry people

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Speaker 1: were on and just like sharing thoughts that you know,

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Speaker 1: it was the same like you were saying whatever you

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Speaker 1: wanted to say. Um, but there weren't that many people there,

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Speaker 1: so it still felt really small. And I was doing

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Speaker 1: like a lot of like music marketing at that time,

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Speaker 1: Like I had like email blast list that would go out. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I used to call you every morning, Okay, it's time.

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Speaker 1: It's the time we do ten because ten is the

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Speaker 1: right time now because over there and I'm like, yes,

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Speaker 1: they sent it to Wrap Radar, Yes, they sent it

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Speaker 1: to you know too, Dope boys, and yeah, I'm still

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Speaker 1: friends at all them because of that time. Yeah, at

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Speaker 1: that moment, that's how I do you know beat out,

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Speaker 1: That's how I know all that and that's that's how

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Speaker 1: I know him because of that old time shout out

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Speaker 1: to in y n um. Yeah it was God, that

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Speaker 1: was such a good time. Someone has to do a

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Speaker 1: documentary about that time, because it was just like we'd

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Speaker 1: be at all these shows and all of these events,

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Speaker 1: and it before people were like at that time. I

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Speaker 1: don't even believe Twitter had an option for you to

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Speaker 1: share a picture like you had to like sign up

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Speaker 1: for a Twitter Pick account and then you put that

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Speaker 1: U R L in your Twitter feed, so the people

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Speaker 1: weren't sharing in that rapid kind of way. A BlackBerry, yes, BBM,

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Speaker 1: you know, has a good amount, probably the most, the

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Speaker 1: most in l A that has a lot of that

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Speaker 1: air on footage is calmatic. Oh, I would believe. And

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Speaker 1: every he was there, allowed to hear my dear said

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Speaker 1: he was there at those quick shows. He was a kid.

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Speaker 1: He but he always had a caramel taping everything, so

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Speaker 1: he has a lot of that stuff. You know, Yes,

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Speaker 1: it's crazy, and you know, Terris and I went on

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Speaker 1: to do, um, how many more projects do we did together?

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Speaker 1: Three here, my dear, and then expect cease and desist

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Speaker 1: because Kim Kardashtian tried to sue us. She tried, she tried.

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Speaker 1: We ended up on TMZ. Oh what a world that

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Speaker 1: was fun? Ye honestly that and that. Speaking about early Twitter,

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Speaker 1: I remember when Twitter was actually pure, pure, It wasn't

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Speaker 1: like perception hadn't yet hit Twitter yet, like the art

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Speaker 1: of perception hadn't hit it yet. Where it's like the

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Speaker 1: money by the ear Vibe had. Yeah, people weren't really curating,

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Speaker 1: um the way they wanted to be perceived by others.

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Speaker 1: You were just kind of like sharing yourself and whatever.

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Speaker 1: Was Yeah, Twitter was Twitter, and still Twitter is a

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Speaker 1: good thing. I know a lot of people that are

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Speaker 1: still on it a lot. I'm on it like once

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Speaker 1: three weeks. Maybe I'm on Twitter. Yeah me too. I'm

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Speaker 1: not really on Twitter anymore. Um. But also it's just

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Speaker 1: more than anything, I think Twitter is so fantastic for

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Speaker 1: people that give like real time commentary, that are really

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Speaker 1: like doing things as they're happening with other people. And

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Speaker 1: that used to be my jam. That's not anymore. Um So,

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Speaker 1: Like I used to like live tweet all the awards

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Speaker 1: shows or live tweets shows or live tweet concerts, you know,

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Speaker 1: and and like be like so and so just came

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Speaker 1: on the stage, um, which was amazing for the time.

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Speaker 1: But now it's like I'm just so unplugged from so

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Speaker 1: many things. Like I'm just like I usually will hear

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Speaker 1: news like three days later, like or like yeah, people

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Speaker 1: will be like yo, you hear what happened is so

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Speaker 1: and so, And I'm like no, I did not now

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Speaker 1: because the Instagram, you could, you know, everything is yeah,

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Speaker 1: and everything is like Twitter mixed with visual and you

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Yeah, the most I do is

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Speaker 1: probably my story is more than anything. I just don't like,

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Speaker 1: I'm just in a space, especially the last two years,

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Speaker 1: where I don't really and this could absolutely change, but

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Speaker 1: I just don't really feel compelled, and not in a

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Speaker 1: judgment way, like not in a way that's like I

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Speaker 1: don't do social media like no, it's just like, um,

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Speaker 1: I just really that's what I spent my whole adult

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Speaker 1: life doing since inception, for work and for pleasure, and

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Speaker 1: I just want to take some time to like experience

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Speaker 1: life more purely and just like live my day to day.

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Speaker 1: So I have to really force myself to remember to

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Speaker 1: like post because I'm like, okay, well I still gotta

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Speaker 1: you know, I tell you, and quite frankly, I and

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Speaker 1: my this is my opinion about everything. Um. You know.

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Speaker 1: I work with a lot of different people in different

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Speaker 1: fasts of life, and the one thing that we all

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Speaker 1: have in common is, um, when when you're really working

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Speaker 1: and really unfolding things and trying to develop something new,

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Speaker 1: things that haven't been done before or hit the reset

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Speaker 1: button in your life and trying to grow you. You you,

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Speaker 1: you really don't have as much time as people think

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Speaker 1: to go on those things because as you're looking at it,

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Speaker 1: you're missing so much life go past you. So I've learned,

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Speaker 1: like the people that like I'm people have to call

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Speaker 1: me like, man, you have to post more, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I don't have something to say. I'm working on this

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Speaker 1: project out Hey, y'all back in the studio. It's kind

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Speaker 1: of like it's you know, I think it's okay to

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Speaker 1: have some bit of mystery about it and just post

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Speaker 1: when you can't. You know, I don't think it's a

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Speaker 1: big thing. Yeah, I think too. It's like if you

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Speaker 1: it also depends like what you're after, like and if

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Speaker 1: you like where you're at in your career, because if

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Speaker 1: you're younger and frestrated, doing that is absolutely important because

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Speaker 1: you're getting on people's radars, you know. Um, well you

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Speaker 1: also have time to do it, yeah, and time because yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's part of your regiment. Yeah yeah, yeah, So it

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Speaker 1: becomes part of your work, it's part of your grind.

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Speaker 1: I think too. It's like for me, you know, we're

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Speaker 1: both on the older end of the millennial curve, but

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Speaker 1: also like I had a I had a really kind

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Speaker 1: of big career really young, Like I started in radio

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Speaker 1: at eighteen in l A in a special time. So

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Speaker 1: like the kind of access and influence I had really young. Um,

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Speaker 1: and that went on for like over a decade. Now

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Speaker 1: I'm just kind of like, Okay, I don't care about

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Speaker 1: any any of it, you know. Um So just I

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Speaker 1: guess just kind of in the sense of like not

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Speaker 1: a burnout. I think that's that's a hartiable word. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Like that's just not Yeah, it's interesting because now it

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Speaker 1: is important to build your following, it to get your

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Speaker 1: numbers up, and to make sure you're doing all of

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Speaker 1: these things. But I kind of just feel like I

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Speaker 1: had been doing that for so long before it became

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Speaker 1: a thing to do that. Now I'm just I don't

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Speaker 1: want to say over it, but I'm just that's just

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Speaker 1: not how I communicate any longer. Know, that's not how

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Speaker 1: I share myself any longer. I kind of want to

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Speaker 1: I kind of want to cut a little bit of

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Speaker 1: the access that people have to me, you know, because

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Speaker 1: I really want to just focus on being present here

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Speaker 1: and now and like building the relationships I already have

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Speaker 1: further and you know, yeah for me, and I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: very similar to that. For me, I'm still like like

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Speaker 1: I have mentors and I still inspired to to maybe

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Speaker 1: one day I could be three percent of them. And

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Speaker 1: it's like for me, I tell the people real quick,

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Speaker 1: like because terrorist is such a bar in any given week, Like,

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Speaker 1: just give me a couple of names of people that

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Speaker 1: you might be either on tour with, in the studio with,

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Speaker 1: working on a project with, Like, just just give me

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Speaker 1: a random week, because like, first I'll give you, I'll

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Speaker 1: give you yesterday, tell me yesterday. This is my morning

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Speaker 1: started at My morning starts at six. I do dog training.

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Speaker 1: I do very intense obedience and personal protection and ships

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Speaker 1: in and competition dog training for two hours every year

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Speaker 1: at the park up here with all my friends that

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Speaker 1: you know. And it's dog training. It's not music, it's

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Speaker 1: not Instagram, it's not who's popular. It's how good does

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Speaker 1: your dog listen to? You? Remember one time Terrace called

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Speaker 1: me all excited. Oh yeah, It's like he was like, yo, man,

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Speaker 1: I got like he has a passion for dogs and

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Speaker 1: he does some breeding and he was like, yo, man,

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Speaker 1: I got this dog right now. He was like, this

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Speaker 1: dog is the j Cole of the dog world. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because I love Jacole because he's so nice. This a while,

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Speaker 1: it's nice and then Jake musically Jacole is a nice guy,

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Speaker 1: but then he has a switch to get aggressive. I

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Speaker 1: like Jacole when he looks and assuming all the time,

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Speaker 1: and that this dog reminded me of And the dog

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Speaker 1: was light. It was real light. It was a light,

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Speaker 1: my fine kind of dog. And that Mom and Jacole,

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Speaker 1: So your dog training for two hours? Two hours, I

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Speaker 1: go home, I eat my food. Now it's like eleven ish.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure I'm dressed now. Today started. My first session

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Speaker 1: is at U c l A to teach and work

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Speaker 1: on the Herbie Hancock record and working on his orchestral music.

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Speaker 1: That that I stopped there. I do all that with

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Speaker 1: me Herbie Hancock, UM, Robert Glassford, Corey Henry, all the

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Speaker 1: top musicians. I had to leave there at five because

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Speaker 1: I had a session with Y being Corday. I forgot

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Speaker 1: because he's always working and we just finished his first record,

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Speaker 1: so now he's really he's a young excited artist, so

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Speaker 1: he stays in the studio. And then after that I

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Speaker 1: got a call from punch at about ten o'clock at

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Speaker 1: night to go listen to some things that he's been

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Speaker 1: doing with him and you know, you know, you know,

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Speaker 1: the TV guys. But then about one o'clock in the morning,

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Speaker 1: on the way home, I get a car from je

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Speaker 1: Parrico and he wants to play me his music because

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Speaker 1: I've been helping out on his record, but it's not done.

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Speaker 1: At four in the morning, I get another text from

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Speaker 1: Herbie Hancock. He said me nine, by the way, he's

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Speaker 1: up at four in the morning watching movies, you know,

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Speaker 1: talking about what we did the next what he's gonna do.

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Speaker 1: So it's like I feel like those days I've kind

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Speaker 1: of become my norm now where it's just like people.

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Speaker 1: It's like, it's just how we just talked about how

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Speaker 1: we love living in a certain area because it is

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Speaker 1: so many different walks of life and different people. That's

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Speaker 1: that's I love When my days when I filled up

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Speaker 1: like that, I couldn't like I couldn't. I can't eat

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Speaker 1: the same thing every day, I can't wear the same thing,

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Speaker 1: I can't wear one color. I don't want to do

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Speaker 1: anything I did yesterday. Who wants to look in the

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Speaker 1: rear view forever. That's like, no, you know what I

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Speaker 1: call that to like the I don't even know if

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Speaker 1: this fits, but I I've thought about this over the years,

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Speaker 1: but like, and this is no shade to him, but

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Speaker 1: like the Mr. T complex, right, Like, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to be so tied up in my identity or the

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Speaker 1: way I'm being perceived that I limit my growth. So

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Speaker 1: it's like, you know how like Mr T is, Like

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Speaker 1: he was a huge deal in the eighties, right, Like,

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Speaker 1: and you knew him because of his signature style. So

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Speaker 1: you knew him because of his signature chains, because of

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Speaker 1: his haircut, the way he talked, the shirts right, the

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Speaker 1: arms out, um and and then you look at his

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Speaker 1: like forty years later, if you see him on the street,

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Speaker 1: he's dressed exactly the same because he's so tied to

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Speaker 1: that moment of time with his identity. Um And so

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Speaker 1: it's just I don't know, sometimes it's just really important

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Speaker 1: to take that step back and to like think, like

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Speaker 1: am I feeding the beast and my feeding and social

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Speaker 1: media and my feeding the world with things only because

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Speaker 1: it further perpetuates like how I want them to see

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Speaker 1: me or be perceived, or like are you taking enough

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Speaker 1: time and having enough silence to like follow the flow

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Speaker 1: of life effortlessly. You know, it's a balance in this.

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Speaker 1: It's a hard one too. It's tough. It's funny. Terrace

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Speaker 1: and I we actually recorded a podcast episode together, um,

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Speaker 1: like months ago, like this is like maybe four months ago. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: go ahead, and I'll just finish. So Terrice and I, uh,

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Speaker 1: we're at the ranch right now, in my little studio

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Speaker 1: and it has a restroom, so I hope whatever you do,

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Speaker 1: I hope whatever you do in there doesn't pick up

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Speaker 1: on the microphone. So we had we had recorded an

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Speaker 1: episode together. But here was the problem, right, I hadn't

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Speaker 1: I hadn't seen Terrace in a while. Uh, and he

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Speaker 1: had been like I had moved back to l A.

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Speaker 1: And he had been like on tour off and on

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Speaker 1: for the last couple of years that I've been back.

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Speaker 1: So we've talked and we've caught up, but we hadn't

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Speaker 1: really had like an in depth catchup in a long time.

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Speaker 1: So he came over and before we even turned the

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Speaker 1: microphones on, two and a half hours had gone by

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Speaker 1: of us talking and catching up. Then we turned the

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Speaker 1: mics on and we end up talking for close to

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Speaker 1: three hours. So by the time he left, I was like,

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Speaker 1: this audio is impossible to edit, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: we are just going to have to find a way

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Speaker 1: to start from scratch. Um. And especially like last time

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Speaker 1: you had come over, it was just a few days,

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Speaker 1: like after Nipsey had passed. Our energy was just it

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Speaker 1: was a really hard time. Um. So then ever since then,

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Speaker 1: I've been hitting him like, yo, we gotta redo this episode.

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Speaker 1: You gotta come back in. He's like, all right, well,

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Speaker 1: I get back from Budapest in a couple of weeks.

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Speaker 1: And then I'll hit him in a couple of weeks

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Speaker 1: and like, hey, I'm actually in Bali and Dada and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, well, and we don't even live

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Speaker 1: far from each other. Over I was four minutes. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: so you know, in a couple of Something that I

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Speaker 1: love about terrorists and I find fascinating is his life

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00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:53,119
Speaker 1: is so and it's always been just so layered and

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Speaker 1: so interesting. So when you were when you were young,

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Speaker 1: grow up in l A l A boy all the way, Um,

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Speaker 1: you you were also a musical prodigy. Your parents are musicians.

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Speaker 1: Your mom is an incredibly talented and celebrated singer. Your

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Speaker 1: father is a jazz musician, you know. And then you

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Speaker 1: mix that kind of background of this like extensive knowledge

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Speaker 1: of traditional music and instrumentation mixed with a very very

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Speaker 1: South Central l a upbringing and experience and lifestyle and

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Speaker 1: the hip hop scene and the very signature sound of

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Speaker 1: l A hip hop specifically, especially back then, you know,

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Speaker 1: in the times, uh, when you were younger and you're

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Speaker 1: hearing like G funk and you're hearing you know, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you have like you know, there's a story of

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Speaker 1: like Jay Leno buying you your first saxophone, you know,

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Speaker 1: and you're winning competitions and being a kid being asked

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Speaker 1: to go out on tour and I'm playing that horn.

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Speaker 1: That's funny. I just took that horn. I'm playing at

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Speaker 1: horn today. I said, I'm to play that horn. I

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Speaker 1: haven't played like in teen years, and I said, I

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Speaker 1: decided to play. Is that the hern you have right here? Wow?

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Speaker 1: And then you know, Quincy Jones has been a mentor

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00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:08,760
Speaker 1: over the years, and you've been on tours with Snoop

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Speaker 1: and produced Grammy winning records with Kendrick and how many

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Speaker 1: were so many people? Um? Yeah, yeah, So it's been

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Speaker 1: a wild ride. You know what it is. It's been

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Speaker 1: a wild ride, but it's like it feels like a day.

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Speaker 1: To me, it feels like it just happened a day,

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Speaker 1: and it's you know, I I'm so excited to what's

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Speaker 1: gonna come. Like I'm still I'm still hungry and still

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Speaker 1: happy about finding new things and everything. Like I'm not um.

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Speaker 1: I remember when I always top I used to always

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Speaker 1: you know, I used to spend a lot of time

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Speaker 1: with top. I just talked to another night, but he

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Speaker 1: he always say, man, I like you because you you

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Speaker 1: You've been doing so much and you know it's ups

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Speaker 1: and downs in this career. But I'm I'm I never

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Speaker 1: was jaded. Yeah, I never had. The only expectations I

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Speaker 1: ever had was you know, hopefully I can wake up

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Speaker 1: the next morning. So I never was jaded or nothing.

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Speaker 1: So I think that that's helped me. But now deVie,

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Speaker 1: all that stuff feels like yesterday, and like it feels

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Speaker 1: I feel stronger than the older I get. I feel

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Speaker 1: more stronger and more ready for the unexpected. Every time before,

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Speaker 1: when I was living that life and all those things happening,

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Speaker 1: I was just floating through. Now I know that that's

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Speaker 1: kind of happens to me, I get more excited, like,

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Speaker 1: what's what's gonna happen today? Was can you expand on

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00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 1: what that looks and feels like like then versus now

386
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:41,680
Speaker 1: of how you would maybe like experienced life then then

387
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:46,520
Speaker 1: versus now? Was I was doing so much different music,

388
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Speaker 1: more from the love, but actually more out of survival

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Speaker 1: because I had a child at fifteen, and and um,

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Speaker 1: you know, dealing with a young child of fifteen and

391
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Speaker 1: the mother and you know, we both she grew up

392
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Speaker 1: in a certain circumstance to where money was a big issue.

393
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Speaker 1: So I've been paying child support since I was sixteen.

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Speaker 1: So I always wanted to play jazz to do this,

395
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:14,080
Speaker 1: But on Tuesdays the jazz gig wasn't going on. I

396
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:16,880
Speaker 1: couldn't make the money, and I could go over here.

397
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 1: I could make some money with battle Cat for maybe

398
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Speaker 1: a day, but then maybe I got to play a

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Speaker 1: bar mitzvah on Saturday. And all these things kept happening

400
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:26,760
Speaker 1: so much of my life. Here's where that end up

401
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 1: just becoming the things where I never said no to

402
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,240
Speaker 1: the music. I always said, well, even if I didn't like,

403
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,679
Speaker 1: somebody said, well let me figure. Let me do so

404
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:36,600
Speaker 1: I can figure out why I don't like it. Then

405
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:39,480
Speaker 1: I don't like it, but I always try different things,

406
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:42,879
Speaker 1: and that actually what I realized. It ended up being

407
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:45,480
Speaker 1: really what l A is about. It a melton pot

408
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 1: of everything, a fool people culture, so Maya, and I'm like, well,

409
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:51,400
Speaker 1: it has to be a melton pot for work too,

410
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:53,760
Speaker 1: because I don't want to get a day job, you know,

411
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,919
Speaker 1: and I did. I got fired from foot locker day

412
00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 1: fired me. But anyway back then, but so that my

413
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 1: ain't said it wasn't thinking. I didn't. I didn't really

414
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,400
Speaker 1: understand how fortunate I was to be living that life.

415
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,679
Speaker 1: I always thought it from a negative mango where I

416
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,920
Speaker 1: gotta do all these different things. I gotta pay child

417
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:13,719
Speaker 1: support or I gotta do all these things, because you know,

418
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,360
Speaker 1: it was an Instagram back then, But it was pressure

419
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,400
Speaker 1: of of looking at looking good and sometimes you don't

420
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:22,480
Speaker 1: have money for Jordan's or because I was young, so

421
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 1: a lot of it came out of being just the

422
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 1: pressure and just having to get it done. But then

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00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 1: I think that's what um you know, the universe did

424
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:35,640
Speaker 1: to train me young. You know, I just told when

425
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,560
Speaker 1: I was in fifth grade, I went to Marcus Garvey

426
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,879
Speaker 1: UM on seventh havns loss In and that school was

427
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:45,440
Speaker 1: nine to five. By the way, brother, I am, brother,

428
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 1: I am. I don't know if he's still with us,

429
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:50,360
Speaker 1: but he's a guy that started that school and and

430
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,919
Speaker 1: with one of the teachers. He was a psychic. This

431
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:56,400
Speaker 1: is real life. Yeah, it was a psychic. And she

432
00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 1: she was she, she was assisted. She has a little afro,

433
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:02,360
Speaker 1: she had a little never will forgivet she said. She said,

434
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:03,920
Speaker 1: you know, when you're ready, I want to I want

435
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,440
Speaker 1: to read your palm or whatever. And I was always

436
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:09,439
Speaker 1: I grew up in a strong Christian household at that time. No,

437
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:13,320
Speaker 1: that's the devil. No, no, no. But then my friend

438
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:15,720
Speaker 1: that didn't girl, he grew up in a whole another

439
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:17,480
Speaker 1: he said, man, ain't nothing wrong with that. We was

440
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 1: in fifth grade and I had to read my palm

441
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 1: and she said this. I don't know if this is

442
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 1: real or whatever, but this is what she said. You're

443
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 1: going to be a successful musician and you're gonna have

444
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:31,639
Speaker 1: a lot of She said, first, you're gonna have a

445
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,160
Speaker 1: lot of children. And I was like, no, I don't

446
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:36,359
Speaker 1: want kids. At that time, She's like no, no no, no.

447
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,399
Speaker 1: After the fifth grader, like as a fifth grader. But

448
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,360
Speaker 1: she said, but you're going to be a successful musician

449
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 1: and you're gonna be able to take care of these

450
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:45,879
Speaker 1: children like you, You're gonna be okay. And I was.

451
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:49,160
Speaker 1: I never and I was like a musician, like hops

452
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 1: my dad as a musician, And I yeah, whatever, And

453
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,360
Speaker 1: she didn't know nothing about me. And I swear I've

454
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:56,840
Speaker 1: never seen her again in my life. But I thought

455
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,760
Speaker 1: about her again when I was when when I had

456
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:02,040
Speaker 1: my second child at night, I thought about it again.

457
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:04,399
Speaker 1: I was like, well, but I wasn't the successful musician

458
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 1: and came yet? Yeah, it was when is that going

459
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:12,120
Speaker 1: to come? But you know, and I'm still reaching for success.

460
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:13,879
Speaker 1: You know, success is a matter of opinion. If I

461
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:15,760
Speaker 1: could just take care of my kids and pay the

462
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:17,920
Speaker 1: mortgage on time and get some reads for the horn,

463
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:20,239
Speaker 1: I'm cool. Who I think too? Like what what is

464
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:24,000
Speaker 1: bigger than success? And definitely what you've demonstrated is legacy,

465
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:28,880
Speaker 1: right like that that concept of legacy of like creating

466
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 1: and building something that will surpass your life energy right now? Yeah,

467
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,679
Speaker 1: I found a lot of great job musicians. I look

468
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 1: a lot of look at it. I listened to a

469
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:42,120
Speaker 1: lot of old interviews from everybody, and people feel half

470
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:44,720
Speaker 1: and half about legacy. People feel like you shouldn't be

471
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:47,879
Speaker 1: thinking about legacy, you know, because that can infer with

472
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 1: your creative experience. It could. But in my cave and

473
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 1: from South central l A. I'm going to think about legacy.

474
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:55,920
Speaker 1: I'm going to think about what I leave behind because

475
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 1: so many of my people in my world, in my area,

476
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,480
Speaker 1: they didn't think about anything, and they left and didn't

477
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 1: leave anything and found the fault. Kids was fatherless and nothing,

478
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 1: had nothing to go. So maybe it's not the legacy

479
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,920
Speaker 1: word I think about, but I definitely am conscious of

480
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:14,440
Speaker 1: uh doing right. So even if I don't need the benefits,

481
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,800
Speaker 1: my children to reap the benefits. So I'm conscious of that.

482
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 1: You know, people you shouldn't be, but I don't know

483
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,320
Speaker 1: what you should be. But I have to be like

484
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,359
Speaker 1: that because I grew up in an environment where nobody

485
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:27,520
Speaker 1: was conscious about that and I saw the outcome of that.

486
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 1: So am I thinking like they're gonna be reading about

487
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 1: me later? No, I'm not thinking about that, but I

488
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 1: I have prayers and wishes that that the universe will

489
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 1: will pour is something good to my to my children

490
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,879
Speaker 1: or whoever else is attached to me because I've poured

491
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:46,600
Speaker 1: so much out to the universe. So I think about that.

492
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:48,560
Speaker 1: That's why I show up to motherfucker's ship for free

493
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 1: and sometimes just do it because I love them, because

494
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:54,159
Speaker 1: I think about that, so they should be thankful. I

495
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,359
Speaker 1: think about that a lot too. I think right now

496
00:26:57,119 --> 00:26:59,840
Speaker 1: it's this like age of awakening, this moment in time

497
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:03,879
Speaker 1: where the generation under us is really like being born,

498
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 1: thinking and feeling that, Like the frequency is a lot

499
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 1: higher than it's ever been in history, you know, like this.

500
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:14,159
Speaker 1: I worked with a lot of younger gender I worked with.

501
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:18,040
Speaker 1: I worked with I mean Cord a Is, I think

502
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:21,640
Speaker 1: he just turned twenty one or something. And I worked

503
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 1: with the young producer kid that produced a lot of

504
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 1: the y Me and Cord record. He just turned seventeen

505
00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:29,679
Speaker 1: and he's working on the Herbie Hancock with me. He's working.

506
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:32,480
Speaker 1: I need to bring him here. He's seventeen. He moved

507
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,840
Speaker 1: to l A from Seattle when he was fifteen years old,

508
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,920
Speaker 1: dropped out of school, start getting hit records with Scrilix,

509
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:41,200
Speaker 1: moved his whole family, y'all, mother, father, everybody, put him

510
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 1: all in the house. He's seventeen years old, holding it

511
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:45,960
Speaker 1: down he's one of the most respectable young man I've

512
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 1: ever met in my life. And if he's his name

513
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:51,240
Speaker 1: is Kid and he's popular. He's a young pop but

514
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 1: he's so quiet, independent, doesn't smoke, doesn't he's just so focused.

515
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:58,880
Speaker 1: But I learned from him and I say, Man, what's

516
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 1: going on? And he'd be like, yeah, man, you know,

517
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 1: he'll tell me. They're just so on the time of

518
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,439
Speaker 1: the post. What the post? I asked, Man, what what

519
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:07,600
Speaker 1: do you think about? What do you guys think about?

520
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:09,880
Speaker 1: He said, Man, well, I think about the future, he said.

521
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 1: But a lot of my peers, he's like, Man, I

522
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:16,040
Speaker 1: know friends that are kind of like the funeral is

523
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 1: in their Instagram prep like the like their their things

524
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:23,280
Speaker 1: be heah, who's gonna come to my funeral? And who's

525
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:26,119
Speaker 1: gonna say this about me when I'm dead? Like people

526
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:28,200
Speaker 1: like a lot of the lot from what I hear,

527
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 1: A lot of the young a lots some younger artists.

528
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 1: They people prepared for that, and they're thinking that's the

529
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 1: thing to do, because people get so much love when

530
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,120
Speaker 1: they're gone, but they're not loving they're here. Some of

531
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 1: these kids aren't loving they're here. So they actually think

532
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 1: when they're going they'll get embraced. Mm hmm. That's is

533
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:46,960
Speaker 1: something that I think that happened to me last night

534
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 1: talking about that last year, and I was, like, so

535
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 1: many thoughts go through my head with that, right because

536
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:57,960
Speaker 1: it's like I can absolutely understand that, especially if you

537
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:02,480
Speaker 1: don't have like a strong foundation or like being present

538
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,480
Speaker 1: in here now, and if you don't have a foundation

539
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 1: of love or any type of guidance or um necessarily

540
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 1: the ability to like feel good about yourself without the

541
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 1: validation of others. But at the same time, it's like

542
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:19,960
Speaker 1: there's also no guarantee that you will ever see your

543
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 1: funeral from above because you know, because like kind of

544
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:24,920
Speaker 1: the way that I that I think of life and

545
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,800
Speaker 1: energy and the after life, it's like, once I leave

546
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:31,240
Speaker 1: this earth, my human experience has ended, which means that

547
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:34,880
Speaker 1: my soul is back now on soul time, um, which

548
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,640
Speaker 1: means that I'm not tied to ego, So I wouldn't

549
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 1: even necessarily recognize or care what's happening here or how

550
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:47,960
Speaker 1: someone felt about me going. UM, I certainly can't imagine

551
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 1: that you're the essence of your soul would feel pleased,

552
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 1: you know by how much people, um, how to outpouring

553
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 1: when you loved, I don't know, it's interesting is something

554
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,760
Speaker 1: that's been lacking and a lot of people's you know,

555
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:06,120
Speaker 1: a lot of people's makeup because people don't know. So

556
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:09,080
Speaker 1: if you don't, if you're not love, imagine if you're

557
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:12,120
Speaker 1: eighteen years old going through so much your your your

558
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 1: biggest outlook on life is Instagram. Yeah, your heroes are

559
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:21,719
Speaker 1: praising death, praising murder. These are your heroes. Yeah, the

560
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 1: my hero My heroes all died unexpectedly. Yeah, then want

561
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:31,240
Speaker 1: to die. Yeah. Uh, you know these people, don't you know?

562
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,640
Speaker 1: They that's kind of what you know. I mean, we

563
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:37,600
Speaker 1: although things are done to perpetuate certain things, it's never

564
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:41,320
Speaker 1: like well pack Pack was very morbid. He was kind

565
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 1: of like your friend you're describing and and really put

566
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 1: a lot of thought into his death. But like, if

567
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:50,239
Speaker 1: you think of some of our biggest leaders, like growing up,

568
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:52,960
Speaker 1: Malcolm X was my biggest hero. He's still one of

569
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:56,960
Speaker 1: the biggest influences of my life. Like he probably felt

570
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,719
Speaker 1: like people wanted to kill him, but he definitely wasn't concerned.

571
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:04,040
Speaker 1: I kind of feel like with though, I like thinking

572
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 1: about you know, what real study about them, what we

573
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 1: know about him. Definitely, definitely a lot of dark things.

574
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 1: But when I talk to people that have a real

575
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:15,920
Speaker 1: close to him, like Snooping, different people, he really loved life.

576
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,480
Speaker 1: He loved life and needs. Snoop and Currup always talked

577
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:23,720
Speaker 1: about how much they eat. They eat taught them about

578
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 1: the quality of life. Life, life, life, life, life. So

579
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 1: when when I hear a song, I every one thing.

580
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:33,360
Speaker 1: But when I hear people that that really loved him,

581
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:37,080
Speaker 1: with or without it, he loved life and he just

582
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 1: wanted to just he wanted to be loved and wanted

583
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 1: to show love. That's why the whole thing happened. This

584
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 1: just to show he wasn't you know what? I think?

585
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:50,600
Speaker 1: Like souls like his, so much of our ship gets

586
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:56,280
Speaker 1: so deep, like souls like Poc and like souls like

587
00:31:56,440 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 1: nip How abet you can keep it together? Um? I

588
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 1: Like every guest that I've had on has tried to

589
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:05,400
Speaker 1: bring up Nipsey in some kind of way, and I

590
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 1: like instantly change the subject because I'm just not ready

591
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:11,600
Speaker 1: to talk about it. Um. But obviously, like he was

592
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 1: a friend to both of us, and you knew him

593
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 1: since he was a kid like sensibly, Um, because with

594
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 1: the little crew with his little baby girl talking intense

595
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:30,560
Speaker 1: like off top up, off top ya intense, A very

596
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 1: nice oh yeah, the best like spoken language and cadence. UM.

597
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:39,960
Speaker 1: I want to share just this thought with you, UM,

598
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 1: and that I would like to get out of this UM.

599
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 1: So I'm doing. I'm I'm involved in this like spiritual

600
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:49,080
Speaker 1: psychology program right that I've been it's going to be

601
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 1: like a three year program or whatever. UM. And after

602
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 1: Nipsey died, I had to go to a class weekend.

603
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 1: So what I'm doing is like I'm almost done with

604
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 1: my first year, but really for like the next three years,

605
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 1: one weekend out of every month, I go to school

606
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 1: and I'm gone from like six pm Friday till nine

607
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:13,959
Speaker 1: pm Sunday. And our days are like twelve hours long. Right,

608
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:17,560
Speaker 1: We're just in lecture, we're setting, we're researching, UM, and

609
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 1: we're doing uh different like work and experiences. So I

610
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:26,120
Speaker 1: had to go the weekend following his death. And when

611
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:32,760
Speaker 1: Nipsey died, like I got into one of the most

612
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:36,400
Speaker 1: depressed places that I think I've been at least in

613
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 1: ten years, you know, like the UM because what was

614
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:43,080
Speaker 1: coming up for me was just like a lot a

615
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 1: lot of like profound disappointment and Rob Payne and just like,

616
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 1: you know, I just wanted to scream, like I'm so sorry,

617
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:55,760
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry this happened to you, because it's like

618
00:33:55,800 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 1: to know him knows how utterly undeserving he was of

619
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 1: an end like this in the in the cruelty within

620
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 1: which happened, and just at the hands of who had

621
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,759
Speaker 1: happened to was just like it was just such an

622
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:14,839
Speaker 1: overwhelming feeling of like depression and disgust and helplessness, you know.

623
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:17,880
Speaker 1: Um and so for about a week, and if you

624
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:21,400
Speaker 1: saw my Instagram post, for about a week, I pretty

625
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 1: much didn't believe in anything, you know, like everything, all

626
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:26,960
Speaker 1: the work that I've done on myself and my life

627
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:31,400
Speaker 1: was so overtaken by grief and by a feeling of

628
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:35,319
Speaker 1: what is the point? What is the point of being

629
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:37,600
Speaker 1: a good person? You know? And it's even hard to

630
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:40,319
Speaker 1: say now because that's so not in alignment with who

631
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:43,480
Speaker 1: I am or what I believe, But I was grief

632
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:47,239
Speaker 1: rips logic away from you, right, and so like in

633
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,719
Speaker 1: that moment, it was just like, because you look at

634
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:54,960
Speaker 1: somebody living such a powerful life, such a resilient person,

635
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 1: that not perfect. He was a flawed human like us,

636
00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:01,759
Speaker 1: all right, but he gave life more than most and

637
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 1: he actively looked to help people. And for him to

638
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:08,200
Speaker 1: end in that way on the steps of his business

639
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:13,279
Speaker 1: in his neighborhood, it like my mind still cannot process it,

640
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 1: Like it's just the most fucking absurd shit that you

641
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 1: could ever think of happening. Um So I say all

642
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:25,880
Speaker 1: that to say, I showed up in class and I

643
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:28,000
Speaker 1: stood up to share. You know, sometimes though ask does

644
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,120
Speaker 1: anyone have any thoughts before we start? And I sit

645
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 1: up to share, and I said, I'm here, but I

646
00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 1: don't want to be here and I don't believe in

647
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:40,080
Speaker 1: anything that you people are talking about it before, and

648
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:42,799
Speaker 1: then they were just like, okay, um you know, do

649
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 1: you want to expand on that? And I just ended

650
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 1: up breaking down crying. I was just like my I

651
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,360
Speaker 1: was like, my friend was murdered, Like my friend was

652
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:53,279
Speaker 1: murdered and he was a great person. And I have

653
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,800
Speaker 1: lost people before, you know, one of my best friends

654
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:58,839
Speaker 1: in high school was murdered. I've known people that have gone,

655
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 1: I've experienced quite a bit death, but something about this experience,

656
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 1: I just wanted to say, screw it all, you know.

657
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:10,440
Speaker 1: Um So, it was really interesting is the facilitator, one

658
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,840
Speaker 1: of the facilitators of this amazing program. His name is

659
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:15,680
Speaker 1: Ron Holnick. I went up to him afterwards and I

660
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:21,880
Speaker 1: was just like, I just need to understand more about

661
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:26,279
Speaker 1: the soul, Like I need to understand the purpose of

662
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 1: things like this happening, because that's a big issue that

663
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:32,719
Speaker 1: I have just in the studying of spirituality, I do

664
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 1: a lot of like the way in which I'm living

665
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:38,720
Speaker 1: my life. Definitely I'm sharing positivity and quotes and videos

666
00:36:38,719 --> 00:36:41,680
Speaker 1: and content online, but more so, like I would consider

667
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:45,440
Speaker 1: myself now really a researcher and a facilitator of healing,

668
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:49,640
Speaker 1: Like my life's work is to really study the process

669
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 1: of generational trauma and to study the way that humans

670
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:57,280
Speaker 1: feel and see the world um and experience spirituality within

671
00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 1: this human form. So I was like, I need I

672
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:01,880
Speaker 1: just need information about the soul. And he said something

673
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 1: to me, and I'm sorry it's taking me so long

674
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:07,600
Speaker 1: to get here, but he said something to me that

675
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:10,320
Speaker 1: was just such an interesting way to look at things.

676
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 1: He said, you know, when a soul understands what its

677
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 1: purpose here is and has done a certain amount of work,

678
00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:22,680
Speaker 1: there is a point where it can choose to leave

679
00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 1: her to stay based on his belief system, Right, there's

680
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,840
Speaker 1: a point where it can choose to leave her to stay,

681
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 1: because if you have reached the maximum of what you

682
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:35,359
Speaker 1: can do, of what you were meant to do in

683
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:39,040
Speaker 1: this life, right, then you might do yourself a disservice

684
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 1: by staying, because you might incur more karma being here, right,

685
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:45,279
Speaker 1: and so kind of you know, in the way that

686
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:47,320
Speaker 1: I see the world and the things that I study

687
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:50,840
Speaker 1: in practice, it's like the idea is you are trying

688
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:54,359
Speaker 1: to get through your karma that you're carrying with you,

689
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 1: your your life's lessons, your actions, right, and so if

690
00:37:58,040 --> 00:37:59,560
Speaker 1: you make it to a point where maybe you have

691
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:04,319
Speaker 1: trans muted all that karma and you stay here, you

692
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 1: could be getting more And so then you might be

693
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:10,280
Speaker 1: repeating the process in reincarnation. You might be coming back

694
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 1: and now having a larger workload as opposed to leaving

695
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:16,480
Speaker 1: this world with past life merit and then coming back

696
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:19,839
Speaker 1: at a different level. You know, Like, um, so, I mean,

697
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 1: that's a mouthful and it's a lot, but you know,

698
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:24,680
Speaker 1: I just thought that was interesting because him telling me

699
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:26,719
Speaker 1: that mixed was something you shared with me which I'm

700
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:30,239
Speaker 1: not going to repeat about the day that Nipsey died

701
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:34,080
Speaker 1: and the last moments. It still hurts, but it gave

702
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 1: me a huge amount of peace in his peace with

703
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:40,919
Speaker 1: perhaps what happened to him and what he was meant

704
00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:42,960
Speaker 1: to do here and what he is now meant to

705
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:45,160
Speaker 1: do as a soul in heaven. Because I think it's like,

706
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 1: if we were to before seeing the aftermath of his passing,

707
00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:50,400
Speaker 1: if we were to look at Nipsey's life, the people

708
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:53,040
Speaker 1: that knew him would be like, Yo, amazing guy doing

709
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:55,759
Speaker 1: incredible work, but maybe not nationally. You didn't know all

710
00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:59,719
Speaker 1: the facets of his generosity and his giving right, so

711
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:01,520
Speaker 1: you think like, oh, there's no way his work could

712
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 1: be done because he just released his first album. But

713
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:05,799
Speaker 1: if you think of it on a greater context than

714
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,440
Speaker 1: whatever his musical offerings were meant to be in this

715
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 1: world and what his death was going to mean to

716
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:14,480
Speaker 1: this world, like his death has caused a major shift

717
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:18,719
Speaker 1: in people like I've been a huge friend and fan

718
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:21,080
Speaker 1: of Nipsey for a very long time, but I didn't

719
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 1: think it wouldn't have even necessarily been conceivable to me

720
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,520
Speaker 1: that he would pack out the Staples Center, though I

721
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:29,560
Speaker 1: felt he'd be worthy of it, because I love him

722
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:32,360
Speaker 1: that the only person that ever did that was Michael Jackson,

723
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:35,560
Speaker 1: So it wouldn't have even been like in context for

724
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,479
Speaker 1: us to ever assume that his death would have had

725
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:43,799
Speaker 1: the impact that it had worldwide, you know. I mean,

726
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 1: first of all, I believe, my belief is we all

727
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 1: have a book. Everybody has a book. Some people books

728
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:57,560
Speaker 1: are thick books, some people books are everybody. When I

729
00:39:57,600 --> 00:40:00,280
Speaker 1: believe when you're born you have a book. I believe

730
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 1: you you have a story. You have a book, and

731
00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:05,799
Speaker 1: everybody's story and is different everybody book. But we all

732
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:09,520
Speaker 1: have a book. We all have a book. And the

733
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,000
Speaker 1: one thing promises we we we won't be in the

734
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:15,840
Speaker 1: flesh forever, you know. And it was it I mean initially,

735
00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:19,200
Speaker 1: of course, it was very hard to swallow the Nipsey thing.

736
00:40:19,239 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 1: Now where where my heart is at? Because that was

737
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:25,920
Speaker 1: probably one of the most intense blows because and it was,

738
00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:29,440
Speaker 1: you know, but where where my heart is at? I

739
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:33,680
Speaker 1: I look at Nipsey the same way, uh, I look

740
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 1: at all all all of the all of my heroes. Now.

741
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:41,239
Speaker 1: I mean, when you you know, Jimmie Anddricks died, I

742
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:43,840
Speaker 1: think at I'm not just one of them, is Charlie

743
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:47,720
Speaker 1: Parker died at thirty five. John Coltrane died at forty Tupac.

744
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:51,200
Speaker 1: I mean, it's like, you know, it's it's kind of

745
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:56,919
Speaker 1: My father is interesting. He's so just blunts the bad

746
00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 1: motherfucker's don't stay here alone. That's all the other to say.

747
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,719
Speaker 1: He said enough, he had there. Now y'all take what

748
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 1: I was saying. Let's see what y'all do with that,

749
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 1: you know, and we all and and and I was

750
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:09,680
Speaker 1: always looking that life like that, But when Nipsey died out,

751
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:13,120
Speaker 1: my faith was tested, Yeah, because I was like, WHOA,

752
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:15,880
Speaker 1: do I really feel like that? I don't want to

753
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:17,960
Speaker 1: feel like that right now. I don't want to feel

754
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 1: like that now. I don't want that. I don't want

755
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:24,120
Speaker 1: to feel like that for him. But you also don't

756
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:26,239
Speaker 1: want to feel that way for yourself, right I don't

757
00:41:26,239 --> 00:41:29,279
Speaker 1: want to your own And you know what, I attachment

758
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:33,360
Speaker 1: to her. Yeah, And it's very sad though, it's very sad.

759
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:36,319
Speaker 1: The whole situation. Even it's sad what's happened to the

760
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:40,200
Speaker 1: young man Eric, The whole situation is sad. Everything is

761
00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:44,120
Speaker 1: sad and people and that's compassion is a real thing. Yeah,

762
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:47,759
Speaker 1: it's kind of like that. It gets deeply conflicting when

763
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 1: you when you have selective compassion, and which is impossible.

764
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:58,320
Speaker 1: You can't have true compassion if it's selective. Yeah, I forget,

765
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:01,760
Speaker 1: but I don't forget, you know. But that's a different podcast,

766
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:03,279
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But but I'm saying that

767
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:05,440
Speaker 1: that's the thing where I had to sit back and

768
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:10,319
Speaker 1: look at Nipsey and everybody involved and say, you know what,

769
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:19,919
Speaker 1: this is sad everything involved, everything not everything Eric too,

770
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:24,720
Speaker 1: that's sad too, just like when you and even it's

771
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:28,040
Speaker 1: it's it's you know, it's it's just sad. It's just sad.

772
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:30,759
Speaker 1: You know. I love Hour Glasses put out the situation

773
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:36,120
Speaker 1: about our Lando the video Tupac Must Die, because you

774
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,560
Speaker 1: know what's deep about that when if you're from l

775
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 1: A in the hood, that's how a lot of us

776
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:43,720
Speaker 1: felt like when that happened, believe it or not, people

777
00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:47,440
Speaker 1: deep in a compassion for both things at the table. Yeah,

778
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 1: because I remember the day because it's like you're you're

779
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,360
Speaker 1: seeing it through the eyes of what the code of

780
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 1: conduct is, the code of conduct is, and and you

781
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:58,400
Speaker 1: and for me as a father, now I say this, uh,

782
00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:01,439
Speaker 1: I say all these all my judgment thoughts, I thought

783
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:06,759
Speaker 1: all my judgment human being things out there. Then I say, hey, now,

784
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:08,960
Speaker 1: if that was tearing your baby, that was your son,

785
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:11,400
Speaker 1: if that was your son in that place, or if

786
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:13,759
Speaker 1: that was your son in the other place. Now as

787
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:17,200
Speaker 1: you feel because you can't have selective compassion, it's not

788
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:20,160
Speaker 1: for real. You know, some people argue that women, that's cool,

789
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:22,839
Speaker 1: that's cool. I mean, there really is no argument if

790
00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:24,879
Speaker 1: you look at But I learned something through the through

791
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:28,080
Speaker 1: all that. It's difficult in practice. I learned something about

792
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:33,000
Speaker 1: faith through the passion of Nipsey. I don't believe you

793
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:36,040
Speaker 1: could really understand faith and have faith unless you lost

794
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:40,600
Speaker 1: faith before. I don't believe that so true. I don't believe.

795
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:44,319
Speaker 1: I don't believe you can't question the creator. I don't

796
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 1: believe that at all. No, I believe you have to

797
00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:51,000
Speaker 1: lose faith and and and falling your face and scab

798
00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 1: your heart and scab your soul to understand what something is.

799
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:56,759
Speaker 1: And that's a big that's that's even going back to

800
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,959
Speaker 1: you know, like you're all these young rappers talking crazy

801
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:01,640
Speaker 1: because none of them been knocked in the mouth. They

802
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:05,760
Speaker 1: don't understand consequence. You know what, that's such a beautiful

803
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:08,200
Speaker 1: point to you, because I feel like, at least for me,

804
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 1: my personal thought is, you really can't. You really can't

805
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:19,799
Speaker 1: fully fully know and love God and surrender to Him

806
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:22,880
Speaker 1: unless you've been mad at Him before and come out

807
00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:25,399
Speaker 1: on the other side of that. You know, Because when

808
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:28,840
Speaker 1: I think of, like the love I have for my

809
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,799
Speaker 1: connection to Divinity, whatever you want to call it, I do.

810
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,440
Speaker 1: I do call it God, but not in the not

811
00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 1: in the context of like Catholicism or Christianity, but I

812
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:41,400
Speaker 1: do call that divinity God um, and sometimes the universe.

813
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:44,720
Speaker 1: But when I think about like how I feel about

814
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:50,279
Speaker 1: God right now and like who that God has been

815
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:53,359
Speaker 1: to me and in my life and in the good

816
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:55,560
Speaker 1: and the bad, I love all of it right because

817
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:57,319
Speaker 1: I want to be me without all of it. And

818
00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:00,399
Speaker 1: I understand now the process of like why I were

819
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:02,640
Speaker 1: led to the experiences were led to, even if they're

820
00:45:02,719 --> 00:45:06,360
Speaker 1: shitty and suck you know and painful um. And I

821
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:08,359
Speaker 1: couldn't be at this level of faith that I have

822
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:11,160
Speaker 1: and this level of connection that I have to the

823
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:15,400
Speaker 1: sacred Being if I also didn't have moments in time

824
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 1: where I didn't believe and I lost my faith or

825
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:22,880
Speaker 1: I believed with like a lot of resentment, you know,

826
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:27,759
Speaker 1: like where I was like yelling at him, you know,

827
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:31,839
Speaker 1: like I couldn't be this deeply connected to him now

828
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 1: if I didn't have that. And it's like, you know,

829
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:35,919
Speaker 1: that's where I think that a lot of religion gets

830
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:38,839
Speaker 1: it really wrong. It's like they they think that you're

831
00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:41,759
Speaker 1: meant to experience God in the way that you experience

832
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 1: other humans, like this whole, like we're made in his image.

833
00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:46,839
Speaker 1: First of all, I don't believe that. I believe we're

834
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:50,680
Speaker 1: made in his image, being that we are energy of him,

835
00:45:50,719 --> 00:45:53,960
Speaker 1: you know, from the soul level. But no, God is

836
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:56,439
Speaker 1: so much better than us. God doesn't have ego. God

837
00:45:56,520 --> 00:46:00,680
Speaker 1: isn't vengeful, God isn't doesn't have hate, isn't going to

838
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:03,319
Speaker 1: be disappointed and you were mad, especially if he knew

839
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:06,080
Speaker 1: what you were coming down here to to encounter, you know.

840
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:08,279
Speaker 1: So it's just like a very egoic way in which

841
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:12,239
Speaker 1: we try to project onto God um what we experience

842
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:14,759
Speaker 1: from other humans. You know. Well, we put a lot

843
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:18,800
Speaker 1: we put a lot of people use in the concept

844
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:22,520
Speaker 1: of the devil on God, and a lot of a

845
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:25,759
Speaker 1: lot of people use these things to avoid from looking

846
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:29,200
Speaker 1: at themselves though, So people will got the devil. And

847
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:32,719
Speaker 1: first of all, I believe in God. But people I've

848
00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:37,960
Speaker 1: learned and being growing up in my particular household, in

849
00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:40,920
Speaker 1: my family and my friends that I've seen, in aunties

850
00:46:40,920 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 1: and uncles and in my community of where I come from.

851
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:49,280
Speaker 1: I gotta say this because people that's not okay, great,

852
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:54,160
Speaker 1: but people, God is real, and I believe a lot

853
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:57,759
Speaker 1: of people so many excuses and will not want to

854
00:46:57,760 --> 00:47:02,279
Speaker 1: be looking at themselves. I'm my my auntie, my auntie.

855
00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:04,919
Speaker 1: She was suffering so bad, you know, by the way,

856
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:08,280
Speaker 1: it's it's value and suffering it's complete value and suffering.

857
00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:10,920
Speaker 1: She was suffering so bad. All the devil was this

858
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 1: And I can't pay the light bill. My father to say, no,

859
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:15,319
Speaker 1: you should get a job. You could pay the light bill.

860
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:18,279
Speaker 1: The devil's not hoping the job. But I promise you

861
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:22,040
Speaker 1: go pay the light bill, get a job. You know. So, um,

862
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:24,600
Speaker 1: she was suffering for you. She's cool now, but you know,

863
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:27,000
Speaker 1: people when they suffered, they blame everything on this this

864
00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:30,880
Speaker 1: devil God. You know, nobody says, no, I funked up.

865
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:32,880
Speaker 1: Let me work it out, or let me pull it together,

866
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:34,960
Speaker 1: or maybe back on let me. Nobody takes to blame,

867
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:37,160
Speaker 1: nobody takes accountability. If you could look in the mirror

868
00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:40,360
Speaker 1: for an hour at yourself and not cry, you're a

869
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:43,839
Speaker 1: bad motherfucker. You're bad motherfucker. If you could really tell

870
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:48,759
Speaker 1: the truth about yourself, you know, Um, you're amazing. If

871
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:51,399
Speaker 1: you could do that. Wow, I don't. I'm I'm fine,

872
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:54,480
Speaker 1: I'm fine while i'm you know, it's like, um, and

873
00:47:54,520 --> 00:47:57,040
Speaker 1: I've been guilty of having a lot of judgment in

874
00:47:57,120 --> 00:47:59,400
Speaker 1: my heart. I've been guilty of using God has excuse

875
00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 1: me the double age. I've been guilty of everything. But

876
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:06,680
Speaker 1: now I look at myself first. Yeah, I look at

877
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:09,320
Speaker 1: my I look at mine. I look at myself first,

878
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:12,200
Speaker 1: and I work it out, work it out. You know,

879
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:14,680
Speaker 1: people and people and people even and like a lot

880
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:17,239
Speaker 1: of people make up scriptures. People make it what she

881
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:20,560
Speaker 1: says like, uh, God won't put nothing more on you

882
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:22,279
Speaker 1: than you could bear. Show me where it says that,

883
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:23,880
Speaker 1: And I give a million dollars, I'll give you all

884
00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:27,920
Speaker 1: my publishing right now, right now. Should tell me that

885
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:30,880
Speaker 1: you know all these things. And it must be a

886
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:33,160
Speaker 1: reason why I'm going through this. God is by my side.

887
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 1: It is a reason why you're going through it now,

888
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:38,520
Speaker 1: I think the blessing comes for if you break through

889
00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:42,360
Speaker 1: it the challenge. People are skilled of challenges, the challenge

890
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:44,840
Speaker 1: like suffering. When when I say it's value and suffering,

891
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:49,879
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, it's it's the same that that

892
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:52,680
Speaker 1: it's the same that the Buddhists says, you can find

893
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 1: beauty within every problem. They even believe that some people

894
00:48:56,160 --> 00:49:03,960
Speaker 1: were boring here, born here to suffer just to teach you,

895
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:06,319
Speaker 1: you know, just to teach you, you know. And so

896
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:11,040
Speaker 1: I think I think Nipsey was so powerful that, like

897
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:13,480
Speaker 1: you said, it is like man and babies. That's my

898
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:15,879
Speaker 1: whole thing with him, the babies. But back to him,

899
00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:18,160
Speaker 1: he left so much stuff that it's gonna take us

900
00:49:18,239 --> 00:49:21,880
Speaker 1: hundreds of years to catch up, you know, hundreds of

901
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:25,680
Speaker 1: years of cats up. And it's it's it's it's such

902
00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:29,200
Speaker 1: an horrible thing. But every day it gets a little

903
00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 1: not smoother, but it gets a little like but every

904
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 1: time I think it gets better, I think about the babies,

905
00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:36,880
Speaker 1: fun us. I think about like the babies, you know.

906
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:40,880
Speaker 1: Like when it comes to healing um and grieving violent

907
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:46,000
Speaker 1: death is probably that's one of the more difficult. That's

908
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:50,200
Speaker 1: the Instagram when you can see it. I'm I'm so

909
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:53,120
Speaker 1: grateful that I have not, and I plan to never

910
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 1: see that. Um, you can edit this, but I mean no,

911
00:49:57,160 --> 00:49:58,719
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear if Please don't tell me

912
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:04,680
Speaker 1: if you saw it or anything. Definitely, but me and Top, Yeah,

913
00:50:05,560 --> 00:50:07,759
Speaker 1: me and Top Top sit there and told me two

914
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:12,799
Speaker 1: nights ago we was talking about it. I never heard

915
00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 1: him say this exaction. I never saw it. Yeah, and

916
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:19,040
Speaker 1: we just looked at you and I said that we

917
00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:26,399
Speaker 1: you know black people call we uh, we call trauma stress. Yeah,

918
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:31,799
Speaker 1: oh my god, right, we call trauma stress. That's a

919
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:35,080
Speaker 1: whole another show, because I really want to one episode

920
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:37,920
Speaker 1: dive into the way we help me with that, the

921
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:42,520
Speaker 1: way we use our vocabulary to identify our experiences and processes,

922
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:47,880
Speaker 1: because we use so many wrong words to describe our feelings,

923
00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:50,200
Speaker 1: and it does us a real disservice because it doesn't

924
00:50:50,239 --> 00:50:53,799
Speaker 1: allow us to one really be able to experience those

925
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:56,759
Speaker 1: feelings fully, but definitely not to transcend and move past them,

926
00:50:56,840 --> 00:51:00,319
Speaker 1: like yeah, wow, I have a friend that, and and

927
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:06,200
Speaker 1: I have a I have a friend that. She's white,

928
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:10,200
Speaker 1: she grew up in Orange County. Cool, she grew up

929
00:51:10,200 --> 00:51:12,160
Speaker 1: in a certain type of household. She's an artist, but

930
00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:15,120
Speaker 1: she she she asked me things like out the blue,

931
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:18,560
Speaker 1: she was saying, are you positive today? Why do you

932
00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:20,319
Speaker 1: ask me that? I'm why? Yeah, Why do you don't

933
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:24,920
Speaker 1: ask me that? And she'd be like, but I had

934
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:28,120
Speaker 1: to think about that, right, Why am I? So? What

935
00:51:28,120 --> 00:51:31,239
Speaker 1: would somebody asking me that? Yeah, because we're still used

936
00:51:31,239 --> 00:51:34,120
Speaker 1: to think if somebody asked you some some wrongs we're

937
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:38,600
Speaker 1: so defensive over. That's all part of trauma. But also

938
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:42,160
Speaker 1: I would I would say to the way that this

939
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:45,440
Speaker 1: person worded it can be very triggering, especially depending on

940
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:47,960
Speaker 1: what your definition of positive is, because I think a

941
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:52,000
Speaker 1: lot of people weaponize this idea of positivity as a

942
00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:55,560
Speaker 1: way to, like, very passively aggressively keep you from feeling.

943
00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:59,239
Speaker 1: I said, what do you mean by that? What where's

944
00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:01,960
Speaker 1: that stemming from? Like break it down? And she broke

945
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:04,520
Speaker 1: it down. Well, no, we grew up act making short

946
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 1: you're positive, so if you're not, maybe we could fix it.

947
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:09,960
Speaker 1: I actually it was just like it wasn't that deep.

948
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:12,800
Speaker 1: It was just that yeah. And then I was like okay,

949
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:15,759
Speaker 1: but I said, well, just know it sounded strange because

950
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:17,759
Speaker 1: I'm positive, as you're gonna make me not positive in

951
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:22,160
Speaker 1: a minute now, damn it. Oh my god. We've talked

952
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:25,799
Speaker 1: to we've talked about, like dabbled a little bit with

953
00:52:26,600 --> 00:52:30,080
Speaker 1: your story of fatherhood throughout this episode. How many kids

954
00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:32,719
Speaker 1: do you have? Five kids? And I know you have

955
00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:36,400
Speaker 1: a baby baby? Yeah, two and a half years. Oh gosh.

956
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:42,640
Speaker 1: So being someone that is now established, grown, grown fully

957
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:46,000
Speaker 1: in your adult life navigating this world. Well, um, but

958
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:49,040
Speaker 1: also we're like a fifteen year old father, so your

959
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:56,160
Speaker 1: oldest is twenty two. So what tell me some of

960
00:52:56,160 --> 00:53:02,320
Speaker 1: the differences there of experiencing fatherhood then versus now from

961
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:05,960
Speaker 1: for me personally, I could tell by where I was

962
00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:16,279
Speaker 1: in my life, by um, the relationships of me and

963
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:19,759
Speaker 1: the previous children's mother had. I could tell where I was.

964
00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:22,640
Speaker 1: I could look at my insecurity path, I could look

965
00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:25,560
Speaker 1: at all these things. And what I learned in my

966
00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:28,759
Speaker 1: early part in my life that when two people just

967
00:53:28,840 --> 00:53:32,160
Speaker 1: randomly make kids and cool and and you know that, Um,

968
00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:33,919
Speaker 1: I wasn't a great father growing up because I don't

969
00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:35,640
Speaker 1: know how to be I was a kid, and the

970
00:53:35,719 --> 00:53:37,279
Speaker 1: mothers didn't know how to be a mother. They were

971
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:40,040
Speaker 1: just doing what the other people taught them, which is

972
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:45,520
Speaker 1: you know, uh, you know, Um, nobody knew how to

973
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:47,160
Speaker 1: be parents. We didn't even know how to be young

974
00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:51,799
Speaker 1: black people, you know, so we was all also my my, my,

975
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:55,400
Speaker 1: my oldest son. And he's it's amazing, he's so beautiful

976
00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:58,839
Speaker 1: and so cool because he we didn't have a tight

977
00:53:58,960 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 1: relationship coming up. It was I was the father, he

978
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:04,160
Speaker 1: knew the father, His mother was a mother. But he

979
00:54:04,239 --> 00:54:06,880
Speaker 1: was kind of in the middle of so much turmoil

980
00:54:07,320 --> 00:54:10,560
Speaker 1: of young parents. So he we was around each other,

981
00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:12,520
Speaker 1: but we never got to enjoy each other. We were

982
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:15,280
Speaker 1: so young. We started enjoying each other when he turned

983
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:18,040
Speaker 1: eighteen years old. You know what I'm saying. We were

984
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:21,439
Speaker 1: so young. So that's my first child, my second child.

985
00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:24,040
Speaker 1: The same thing the early children. I was a kid

986
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:26,400
Speaker 1: and the mothers were kids, and believe it or not,

987
00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:29,240
Speaker 1: we we all talked about this because they they even

988
00:54:29,280 --> 00:54:33,440
Speaker 1: suffered understanding from their mother. You know, this is a

989
00:54:33,640 --> 00:54:36,920
Speaker 1: this is a real thing. So you know, I kind

990
00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:41,239
Speaker 1: of didn't click into fatherhood because I never when I

991
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:43,600
Speaker 1: first had children. This wasn't thing. If I'm going to

992
00:54:43,719 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 1: be a father, this thing, I'm just having sex and

993
00:54:45,680 --> 00:54:49,759
Speaker 1: I'm not understanding the consequences. I'm not understanding that if

994
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:52,800
Speaker 1: somebody me and me and Jason always say, if somebody

995
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:56,120
Speaker 1: would have just said, your dick can make a person

996
00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:01,279
Speaker 1: just like that, you know what I'm saying, Davy, your

997
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:03,840
Speaker 1: dick could make a human being. You know how crazy?

998
00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:07,800
Speaker 1: That would have made a sound like what? But everybody

999
00:55:07,880 --> 00:55:11,720
Speaker 1: was don't do it, stock, don't, don't, don't, don't talk, don't.

1000
00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:13,880
Speaker 1: And then when it happened, nobody knew how to react.

1001
00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:16,399
Speaker 1: A lot of young parents was going through this even

1002
00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:19,319
Speaker 1: to this day. So my my, it was it was

1003
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:21,560
Speaker 1: very difficult earlier because I didn't know how to do it.

1004
00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:23,239
Speaker 1: All I knew was that if I worked and got

1005
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:25,760
Speaker 1: money and paid the money, they would they would, they would,

1006
00:55:25,760 --> 00:55:28,600
Speaker 1: they would be peaceful. That's all I knew because in

1007
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:32,640
Speaker 1: in in the in the hood, in the ghetto, having

1008
00:55:32,719 --> 00:55:36,680
Speaker 1: kids young, you know, either the guy, a lot of

1009
00:55:36,680 --> 00:55:38,840
Speaker 1: the guys aren't around because out of fear they don't know.

1010
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:41,440
Speaker 1: But a lot of the mothers are understanding. They they

1011
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:43,839
Speaker 1: want the money, but the guy doesn't have a skill

1012
00:55:43,920 --> 00:55:46,759
Speaker 1: to get the money. And that's turmoil. And you know

1013
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:50,080
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So it was rough. This is a

1014
00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:55,080
Speaker 1: whole another part young parents, because I'm I'm still day

1015
00:55:56,080 --> 00:55:59,480
Speaker 1: I think about this and be like, what did I

1016
00:55:59,480 --> 00:56:01,920
Speaker 1: call come time that I gotta make it? Like I'm

1017
00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:06,440
Speaker 1: so weird about giving time now it's like I'm like, so,

1018
00:56:06,480 --> 00:56:09,359
Speaker 1: I'm like, and I do the best I can and

1019
00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:12,560
Speaker 1: I do. But now that I love fatherhood and want

1020
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:16,960
Speaker 1: to be a father and I'm there, I'm there. I'm there. However,

1021
00:56:17,239 --> 00:56:21,320
Speaker 1: my career isn't a weird place to where I'm always gone,

1022
00:56:22,360 --> 00:56:24,600
Speaker 1: even when I when I'm here, I'm here. But even

1023
00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:26,880
Speaker 1: when I'm here, I'm going. And people say, you know,

1024
00:56:26,920 --> 00:56:29,239
Speaker 1: you gotta make time, and yes, we I do make time.

1025
00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:33,439
Speaker 1: But it's it's a difficult life and it's a it's

1026
00:56:33,520 --> 00:56:36,439
Speaker 1: that's more than music, more than anything I've ever been.

1027
00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:42,040
Speaker 1: Being a one hundred percent family man. Being shared by

1028
00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:45,560
Speaker 1: the world is a very That's the biggest challenge I

1029
00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:48,200
Speaker 1: go through every day because I want to comfort my

1030
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:50,640
Speaker 1: other half, my woman. I want to comfort my children,

1031
00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:53,239
Speaker 1: and they don't care about going. They all they want

1032
00:56:53,239 --> 00:56:55,359
Speaker 1: is time. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. And then

1033
00:56:55,480 --> 00:56:58,319
Speaker 1: especially it's like, you know, if you have children with

1034
00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:01,360
Speaker 1: multiple people, but yeah, live in very different places. And

1035
00:57:01,400 --> 00:57:03,520
Speaker 1: that's another thing to where I'm sure and this is

1036
00:57:03,520 --> 00:57:05,680
Speaker 1: a real thing, and I see this is really I'm

1037
00:57:05,719 --> 00:57:08,479
Speaker 1: sure the earlier children feel like I have to steal

1038
00:57:08,640 --> 00:57:11,279
Speaker 1: a little Why couldn't it work with dad and mom?

1039
00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:13,319
Speaker 1: Or why couldn't do that? Because they don't, you know.

1040
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:15,799
Speaker 1: But but but I've had real conversations with my with

1041
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:20,080
Speaker 1: the older ones. I think that's that's the without being disrespectful,

1042
00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:24,080
Speaker 1: because it was not. It's no fault here. It's no fault.

1043
00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:28,040
Speaker 1: It's two babies that have babies, and you know, and

1044
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:30,320
Speaker 1: now me and guess what we get along. Just the

1045
00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:32,560
Speaker 1: other night, I played the Hollywood Bowl, me and Hervey

1046
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:35,280
Speaker 1: to a soldo show in Los Angeles, Me, Herbie, Thundercount

1047
00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:37,800
Speaker 1: Camaci or l a guys. So that the Hollywood Bowl

1048
00:57:38,160 --> 00:57:43,040
Speaker 1: playing jazz, African American art music. Nothing on the radio,

1049
00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:47,160
Speaker 1: nothing with high with high plays on the internet, just

1050
00:57:47,240 --> 00:57:49,840
Speaker 1: people coming out there here, truthful art. And it was

1051
00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:51,480
Speaker 1: a sold out show and I was able to have

1052
00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:55,040
Speaker 1: month my children there, mothers and my everybody backstage with

1053
00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:58,240
Speaker 1: Quincy Jones and everybody just hanging because I saw Quincy

1054
00:57:58,280 --> 00:58:02,720
Speaker 1: do this. And when I was said, how many kids you, guys?

1055
00:58:02,840 --> 00:58:05,080
Speaker 1: And then I said too, and he said, man, you

1056
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:08,080
Speaker 1: gotta mention you, you gotta mention everybody's on one occur

1057
00:58:08,680 --> 00:58:10,480
Speaker 1: It's hard to do it, but you gotta make sure.

1058
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:12,960
Speaker 1: So I've always tried to make sure we all are

1059
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:16,480
Speaker 1: a village, and we are are our village, you know,

1060
00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:18,960
Speaker 1: to each his own. For me, it's no funny business

1061
00:58:19,040 --> 00:58:20,880
Speaker 1: to make it all the village. Everybody can nobody for

1062
00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:24,880
Speaker 1: nobody can nobody getting no special weird undercutting ship. Nobody

1063
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:26,760
Speaker 1: could have an ounce of jealousy. Everybody has to be

1064
00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:30,000
Speaker 1: very confident in themselves. And I have that community in

1065
00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:33,120
Speaker 1: my family now, with my other children's mother, with their husbands.

1066
00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:36,280
Speaker 1: You know, we have a real community and it's I've

1067
00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:39,280
Speaker 1: I've actually shaped it. I've shaped it out of just

1068
00:58:39,400 --> 00:58:42,920
Speaker 1: honest things, love and saying we were all wrong. Let's go.

1069
00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:46,120
Speaker 1: And everybody's on one accord now. But it's still a

1070
00:58:46,120 --> 00:58:51,240
Speaker 1: struggle because it takes time, you know, the time personal growth.

1071
00:58:51,520 --> 00:58:54,200
Speaker 1: Young These people didn't under they they I had children

1072
00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:57,480
Speaker 1: with people that didn't. What what an art artist households

1073
00:58:58,200 --> 00:59:00,800
Speaker 1: get a job? No. I believe I practice long enough,

1074
00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:04,480
Speaker 1: something's gonna happen. What about the food now, I don't know.

1075
00:59:04,520 --> 00:59:06,840
Speaker 1: But if I practice long enough, you can't just who

1076
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:10,480
Speaker 1: want to hear that ship? But I did it. That's

1077
00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:12,200
Speaker 1: why I to this day, I go be on b

1078
00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:14,320
Speaker 1: off for off of all the mothers and my children,

1079
00:59:14,360 --> 00:59:18,520
Speaker 1: you know, if whatever, like whatever, I go be on

1080
00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:22,720
Speaker 1: and above, you know, and I love them and I

1081
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:26,120
Speaker 1: appreciate all of them. I appreciate my children, and I

1082
00:59:26,200 --> 00:59:28,959
Speaker 1: love the suffering we all went through because we would

1083
00:59:28,960 --> 00:59:31,000
Speaker 1: not have been here. And all of them help me

1084
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:32,760
Speaker 1: get to where I am because now I have a

1085
00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:36,920
Speaker 1: high sense of compassion for um. A lot of young

1086
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:39,160
Speaker 1: just your young married musicians. Man, I'm about to go

1087
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:41,640
Speaker 1: on my first tour. Blah blah blah. A lot of

1088
00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:45,000
Speaker 1: successful ones, young producers I meet. Can you give me

1089
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:47,440
Speaker 1: any vice? I said, you're about to go on the

1090
00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:50,680
Speaker 1: road the first tour three months. You got a kid? Yeah,

1091
00:59:50,720 --> 00:59:53,600
Speaker 1: my kids two years old. You got your girl. I

1092
00:59:53,600 --> 00:59:56,600
Speaker 1: don't even been married. We've been together. I said that

1093
00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:58,800
Speaker 1: she used to you leave in town the family. No, no,

1094
00:59:59,120 --> 01:00:02,439
Speaker 1: but she's gonna be cool. First of all, she's not cool.

1095
01:00:03,280 --> 01:00:07,560
Speaker 1: Second of all, this is nothing you could explain. You

1096
01:00:07,600 --> 01:00:09,040
Speaker 1: have to go through this, But let me tell you

1097
01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:11,280
Speaker 1: what I did, and my woman will tell you. I

1098
01:00:11,400 --> 01:00:14,840
Speaker 1: call every night I face time. I'm so weird of

1099
01:00:14,920 --> 01:00:17,720
Speaker 1: being gone but not being here. I try to make

1100
01:00:18,040 --> 01:00:20,360
Speaker 1: so much time to the point I I say, well,

1101
01:00:20,440 --> 01:00:22,640
Speaker 1: I can't do that festival, that tour unless my family

1102
01:00:22,640 --> 01:00:26,000
Speaker 1: could come. That's expensive, but they fly them out. You

1103
01:00:26,040 --> 01:00:28,000
Speaker 1: know that's that's that's the vibe. I worked hard for

1104
01:00:28,040 --> 01:00:29,960
Speaker 1: that level of where if they want me, they they

1105
01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:32,840
Speaker 1: that my children come, my family whoever. I made sure

1106
01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:35,360
Speaker 1: to When I go to Japan, I tell the promoter

1107
01:00:35,480 --> 01:00:37,280
Speaker 1: we want you in Japan. I say, funk that give

1108
01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:40,800
Speaker 1: me six sextual tickets because I need family to come

1109
01:00:40,840 --> 01:00:44,040
Speaker 1: and show kids other Now, since I'm not home a lot,

1110
01:00:44,160 --> 01:00:47,120
Speaker 1: I make sure I use my my privileges and give

1111
01:00:47,200 --> 01:00:49,919
Speaker 1: them to all my children, my nieces and nephews. Let's

1112
01:00:49,920 --> 01:00:53,080
Speaker 1: travel travels. The biggest privilege, That's the biggest thing you

1113
01:00:53,080 --> 01:00:55,840
Speaker 1: could do for a child is traveling from you know

1114
01:00:55,960 --> 01:00:59,040
Speaker 1: we That's the biggest thing you could do art. You know,

1115
01:00:59,040 --> 01:01:01,960
Speaker 1: I remember you telling me, how mom, just the museum, Like,

1116
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:03,760
Speaker 1: the biggest thing you could do is open the kid's

1117
01:01:03,880 --> 01:01:06,360
Speaker 1: mind up. And now I'm doing that to work now

1118
01:01:06,400 --> 01:01:08,720
Speaker 1: my kids. It took me forever to it used to

1119
01:01:08,760 --> 01:01:10,840
Speaker 1: suck me up. How I inspire so many kids to

1120
01:01:10,880 --> 01:01:13,280
Speaker 1: do music, and then my kids aren't inspired by me.

1121
01:01:15,080 --> 01:01:17,040
Speaker 1: Hey man, I'm about to do yeah that will see

1122
01:01:17,040 --> 01:01:20,280
Speaker 1: you later. But it's a line of kids here say

1123
01:01:20,360 --> 01:01:22,920
Speaker 1: mayors my kids. So I had to click in and

1124
01:01:22,960 --> 01:01:25,480
Speaker 1: it's a battle. I'm still you know, and still I

1125
01:01:25,480 --> 01:01:28,880
Speaker 1: think for other people listening to what because like everything

1126
01:01:28,880 --> 01:01:32,640
Speaker 1: you're sharing is so aspirational and beautiful, but it's also

1127
01:01:32,680 --> 01:01:35,200
Speaker 1: like hard earned. Like what you're saying now, it's like

1128
01:01:35,240 --> 01:01:40,400
Speaker 1: your kids, your rangers of your kids age to the two.

1129
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:44,000
Speaker 1: So you know, it took it took a long time.

1130
01:01:44,040 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 1: It took years to be in this great like I

1131
01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:50,800
Speaker 1: didn't even know my children. I didn't even know them.

1132
01:01:50,800 --> 01:01:53,160
Speaker 1: I was with so much, talk to him every day,

1133
01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:56,040
Speaker 1: hug him for the weekend, but didn't know them for years.

1134
01:01:56,800 --> 01:02:00,240
Speaker 1: I didn't know that. It was so embarrassing to year

1135
01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:03,360
Speaker 1: how great a Kai saying one day and me and

1136
01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:05,480
Speaker 1: me had to act like I was familiar with that

1137
01:02:05,800 --> 01:02:10,880
Speaker 1: skill level, but me going home saying, oh, man, get

1138
01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:14,480
Speaker 1: on the ball. You gotta didn't just like everything else,

1139
01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:17,280
Speaker 1: you gotta go extra hard for that. Then you know. So,

1140
01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:19,840
Speaker 1: But that's it's been a that's helped me get through life,

1141
01:02:19,840 --> 01:02:22,480
Speaker 1: Like my sense of compassion now is my forgive me

1142
01:02:22,520 --> 01:02:26,480
Speaker 1: Threshold's crazy when when when drugs came into my family's

1143
01:02:26,520 --> 01:02:28,360
Speaker 1: life and split us up, and my father had to

1144
01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:30,000
Speaker 1: go away for a while and me and my mom

1145
01:02:30,040 --> 01:02:32,600
Speaker 1: stayed in little motels here and they're like, I didn't

1146
01:02:32,600 --> 01:02:35,640
Speaker 1: feel nothing was wrong. I didn't feel nothing was wrong.

1147
01:02:35,640 --> 01:02:38,919
Speaker 1: I was I was people, you know you. I grew

1148
01:02:38,960 --> 01:02:41,520
Speaker 1: up in the hotel in the hood, and oh yeah,

1149
01:02:41,560 --> 01:02:44,640
Speaker 1: it was tough, Bramben and hook. I didn't feel nothing

1150
01:02:44,720 --> 01:02:48,320
Speaker 1: was wrong. The TV worked in the little boat motel,

1151
01:02:48,800 --> 01:02:51,880
Speaker 1: we stayed in a single forever and it was just

1152
01:02:52,160 --> 01:02:55,160
Speaker 1: it was nothing wrong. She didn't let me feel one bit.

1153
01:02:55,240 --> 01:02:57,480
Speaker 1: Now that I'm older and here the ship she was

1154
01:02:57,560 --> 01:03:02,040
Speaker 1: going through, I was like, yeah, God, and that's such

1155
01:03:02,080 --> 01:03:06,640
Speaker 1: an important lesson for just parenting, right, because they're like

1156
01:03:06,800 --> 01:03:10,320
Speaker 1: human beings. We all have this inherent sense at the deepest,

1157
01:03:10,400 --> 01:03:13,760
Speaker 1: darkest part of us of being unworthy, being not enough

1158
01:03:13,880 --> 01:03:16,800
Speaker 1: right um. For some it's like of being a mistake

1159
01:03:17,120 --> 01:03:21,400
Speaker 1: right um, or being somehow unlovable or not deserving, And

1160
01:03:21,440 --> 01:03:25,040
Speaker 1: a lot of that stems from us fighting our realities.

1161
01:03:25,400 --> 01:03:30,040
Speaker 1: Like there's this like perceived ideal that society created over

1162
01:03:30,120 --> 01:03:33,720
Speaker 1: time since the dawn of history. Right, And we suffer

1163
01:03:34,120 --> 01:03:37,480
Speaker 1: because we try to fight our reality instead of just

1164
01:03:38,680 --> 01:03:41,880
Speaker 1: and this takes time. But instead of just like being

1165
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:45,160
Speaker 1: open to circumstances and not letting them define how we

1166
01:03:45,200 --> 01:03:49,080
Speaker 1: feel about ourselves, right, like understanding the greater orchestra of

1167
01:03:49,120 --> 01:03:52,160
Speaker 1: the world, because it's like, like you think, for when

1168
01:03:52,160 --> 01:03:53,880
Speaker 1: I when I look back at my childhood and I

1169
01:03:53,920 --> 01:03:57,080
Speaker 1: look back at all of these limiting beliefs that became

1170
01:03:57,200 --> 01:04:00,040
Speaker 1: ingrained in me about myself, it was really based on

1171
01:04:00,040 --> 01:04:03,800
Speaker 1: and comparing my life and my childhood to other people's

1172
01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:07,440
Speaker 1: and especially comparing it to TV and comparing it to movies,

1173
01:04:07,560 --> 01:04:10,840
Speaker 1: and comparing it to the way that fatherhood and parenthood,

1174
01:04:10,920 --> 01:04:14,320
Speaker 1: and how it is like the idealized version that in

1175
01:04:14,360 --> 01:04:17,800
Speaker 1: actuality is not true for anyone. Like we're all saying

1176
01:04:17,840 --> 01:04:20,240
Speaker 1: that unless my life looks like X, Y, and Z,

1177
01:04:20,560 --> 01:04:25,120
Speaker 1: the most idealized version of it, then it sucks. I'm

1178
01:04:25,160 --> 01:04:27,400
Speaker 1: not enough and I'm in a space of lack. And

1179
01:04:27,440 --> 01:04:29,400
Speaker 1: the truth is this thing that we're trying to hold

1180
01:04:29,400 --> 01:04:33,960
Speaker 1: ourselves up to does not and has never existed for anyone.

1181
01:04:34,520 --> 01:04:37,480
Speaker 1: I don't know anybody that has ever met all that criteria.

1182
01:04:37,840 --> 01:04:40,640
Speaker 1: But I'm suffering because I think I'm not enough in

1183
01:04:40,640 --> 01:04:44,080
Speaker 1: comparison to that. You know, Um, I really just think, like,

1184
01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:46,480
Speaker 1: like what you just shared about your mom, that's so

1185
01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:50,600
Speaker 1: important in parenthood, especially if you are like having a

1186
01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:54,400
Speaker 1: rough time parenting with like your child's other parents, Like

1187
01:04:54,480 --> 01:04:57,520
Speaker 1: say you're not together, Say you guys never really knew

1188
01:04:57,560 --> 01:05:00,440
Speaker 1: each other, meant to have it, which is real thing

1189
01:05:00,600 --> 01:05:05,040
Speaker 1: which happens a lot. I mean, listen, it happens a lot,

1190
01:05:05,680 --> 01:05:07,680
Speaker 1: a lot. I really want to do like a larger

1191
01:05:07,760 --> 01:05:10,880
Speaker 1: episode about this about motherhood and fatherhood in this way.

1192
01:05:11,320 --> 01:05:13,960
Speaker 1: Um so maybe coming soon because I have a lot

1193
01:05:14,040 --> 01:05:16,840
Speaker 1: to say on it. But you know, I think the

1194
01:05:16,880 --> 01:05:18,640
Speaker 1: best thing you could do for your child, no matter

1195
01:05:18,680 --> 01:05:21,959
Speaker 1: what circumstances they're in, is not ingraining them a sense

1196
01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:24,680
Speaker 1: of lack based on how you see the world. Because

1197
01:05:24,800 --> 01:05:27,720
Speaker 1: children come to this world, babies come to this world

1198
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:31,080
Speaker 1: whole and complete. It is all of the things that

1199
01:05:31,160 --> 01:05:33,240
Speaker 1: we put in them that either adds to that or

1200
01:05:33,280 --> 01:05:36,120
Speaker 1: detracts from that. We put racism in, and we put Hayden,

1201
01:05:36,160 --> 01:05:38,000
Speaker 1: and we put all that we put our we put

1202
01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:40,680
Speaker 1: our problems. Our problems are projection. So It's like if

1203
01:05:40,760 --> 01:05:43,240
Speaker 1: you if you have a circumstance right now in your parenthood,

1204
01:05:43,280 --> 01:05:45,880
Speaker 1: that is not ideal. You know. Number one, I extend

1205
01:05:45,880 --> 01:05:48,840
Speaker 1: so much compassion to you because it's hard. Life is hard,

1206
01:05:48,960 --> 01:05:53,360
Speaker 1: experiences are difficult. But don't let your kid feel that,

1207
01:05:53,640 --> 01:05:56,520
Speaker 1: you know, like you can absolutely like even with you

1208
01:05:56,600 --> 01:05:58,840
Speaker 1: sharing you guys were staying in a hotel and don't

1209
01:05:58,840 --> 01:06:00,760
Speaker 1: don't feed your kid. I che do. I hate when

1210
01:06:00,800 --> 01:06:03,520
Speaker 1: I see that maybe you weren't having the best meals

1211
01:06:03,520 --> 01:06:05,479
Speaker 1: and maybe you weren't having this, but you did have love.

1212
01:06:05,600 --> 01:06:08,480
Speaker 1: And your mom created even in that hotel room, a

1213
01:06:08,480 --> 01:06:12,040
Speaker 1: sense of peace, you know, a sense of you were

1214
01:06:12,200 --> 01:06:14,320
Speaker 1: enough and this is what life looks like right now.

1215
01:06:14,400 --> 01:06:18,800
Speaker 1: And she still find she still was. It was like, yeah,

1216
01:06:18,880 --> 01:06:21,200
Speaker 1: it was not like we're here, so let me. It

1217
01:06:21,280 --> 01:06:24,400
Speaker 1: was like we're here. Fold up your side over there,

1218
01:06:24,480 --> 01:06:26,880
Speaker 1: folded up, don't don't get it's eight in the morning.

1219
01:06:26,880 --> 01:06:28,520
Speaker 1: Get up, we gotta we gotta go. We'll come back

1220
01:06:28,600 --> 01:06:31,160
Speaker 1: later on let's go. And kids also can handle the

1221
01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:35,360
Speaker 1: truth this idea of like projecting your feelings on them,

1222
01:06:35,360 --> 01:06:38,280
Speaker 1: of either like anger or happiness, but not actually cluing

1223
01:06:38,320 --> 01:06:41,560
Speaker 1: them into what's happening. They don't know how to process emotions.

1224
01:06:41,600 --> 01:06:44,440
Speaker 1: They don't have emotional vocabulary, so they're taking all of

1225
01:06:44,440 --> 01:06:46,920
Speaker 1: it on and creating this false narrative that is going

1226
01:06:46,920 --> 01:06:49,000
Speaker 1: to hunt them for the rest of their lives. You know,

1227
01:06:49,400 --> 01:06:52,240
Speaker 1: like we have to tell our kids the truth, even

1228
01:06:52,280 --> 01:06:57,600
Speaker 1: the really complex and lattering versions. Let them be free,

1229
01:06:57,600 --> 01:07:01,040
Speaker 1: a little bit free, Let them be free. So you

1230
01:07:01,160 --> 01:07:02,720
Speaker 1: just let them me keep eye on them and letting

1231
01:07:02,760 --> 01:07:05,120
Speaker 1: me free a little bit, because they're gonna have a

1232
01:07:05,120 --> 01:07:07,160
Speaker 1: whole lifetime and not being to be free all the time.

1233
01:07:07,760 --> 01:07:09,240
Speaker 1: So let them be free a little bit. You know,

1234
01:07:09,320 --> 01:07:11,480
Speaker 1: we we know. I mean, my daughter is very respectful.

1235
01:07:11,520 --> 01:07:13,560
Speaker 1: I mean she's a kid, so she does kid things.

1236
01:07:13,600 --> 01:07:19,920
Speaker 1: But it's never when she makes a mistake, it's always like,

1237
01:07:20,280 --> 01:07:21,880
Speaker 1: first of all, I never google guy. I gotta talk

1238
01:07:21,880 --> 01:07:24,840
Speaker 1: to my kids and my daughter. My kids will tell you,

1239
01:07:24,880 --> 01:07:29,480
Speaker 1: like my what's up, like my kai A Kyle'll tell you.

1240
01:07:29,520 --> 01:07:31,520
Speaker 1: When I was for a kind of I used to

1241
01:07:31,560 --> 01:07:34,800
Speaker 1: be like, I, what's up, daddy'all? Don't talk to me

1242
01:07:34,880 --> 01:07:39,320
Speaker 1: like that. What's up? Well? Dad? This okay? I want

1243
01:07:39,320 --> 01:07:41,680
Speaker 1: one throw? What's that mean? Why do you want that?

1244
01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:44,360
Speaker 1: Why do you want sold instead of water? I just

1245
01:07:44,440 --> 01:07:46,760
Speaker 1: know why it tastes better. Okay, well you can't have that.

1246
01:07:47,280 --> 01:07:49,640
Speaker 1: So my kids grew up like my even my daughter.

1247
01:07:49,640 --> 01:07:52,960
Speaker 1: You gotta meet and she oh, she's so like, excuse me,

1248
01:07:53,720 --> 01:07:56,600
Speaker 1: thank you. She saw because I've learned that you don't.

1249
01:07:56,640 --> 01:07:58,600
Speaker 1: You don't. You gotta let them be freakings. Kids are

1250
01:07:58,600 --> 01:08:01,160
Speaker 1: smarter than us. Is see the truth before we see

1251
01:08:01,160 --> 01:08:03,360
Speaker 1: the truth. Like when your kid don't go to somebody,

1252
01:08:03,400 --> 01:08:06,240
Speaker 1: it's a reason the man was either because they don't

1253
01:08:06,280 --> 01:08:08,880
Speaker 1: know him, but sometimes because that ain't working with them,

1254
01:08:09,520 --> 01:08:14,680
Speaker 1: because they feel something that could be with grandparents, cousins, whoever.

1255
01:08:14,840 --> 01:08:17,880
Speaker 1: Kids know what's up. Yeah, you know, like my daughter,

1256
01:08:17,960 --> 01:08:21,200
Speaker 1: she don't. I taught her young that she had kai

1257
01:08:21,640 --> 01:08:23,479
Speaker 1: when she was a baby, she would like my uncle's

1258
01:08:23,520 --> 01:08:25,320
Speaker 1: but let me give her a hug. And this is no,

1259
01:08:25,600 --> 01:08:28,679
Speaker 1: this is not a trust issue thing. This is a

1260
01:08:28,720 --> 01:08:32,479
Speaker 1: father with his daughter thing. But she always looked at me,

1261
01:08:33,479 --> 01:08:37,559
Speaker 1: depending on I'll be like, sorry, baby, go ahead, boom.

1262
01:08:37,840 --> 01:08:39,200
Speaker 1: And it could be one of my uncles. If I

1263
01:08:39,240 --> 01:08:41,639
Speaker 1: feel like I don't want my baby on your energy,

1264
01:08:41,640 --> 01:08:43,760
Speaker 1: I don't want my baby on your energy. Yeah you

1265
01:08:43,800 --> 01:08:46,080
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Especially, and we got to stop

1266
01:08:46,120 --> 01:08:50,519
Speaker 1: forcing kids to hug first of all, kind of this

1267
01:08:50,680 --> 01:08:54,320
Speaker 1: like dog and pony show your kid. Don't hug, go

1268
01:08:54,400 --> 01:08:56,320
Speaker 1: hug onto you, so and so, go hug and go

1269
01:08:56,400 --> 01:08:58,479
Speaker 1: so and so like, No, it's my child's body. They

1270
01:08:58,479 --> 01:09:00,519
Speaker 1: don't have to if they don't want to. It's not

1271
01:09:00,800 --> 01:09:04,439
Speaker 1: to be disrespectful to you or anyone else. But my daughter.

1272
01:09:04,600 --> 01:09:06,960
Speaker 1: She ain't got a hug and touch nobody. But now

1273
01:09:07,040 --> 01:09:09,120
Speaker 1: she's coming to his words. She knows how to hello.

1274
01:09:09,280 --> 01:09:11,839
Speaker 1: Because I don't shake hands. Yeah, I do the pound.

1275
01:09:11,960 --> 01:09:13,680
Speaker 1: I don't shake hands ball because I don't want to

1276
01:09:13,680 --> 01:09:16,759
Speaker 1: shake your hand. I do the pound because it's Jermy

1277
01:09:16,800 --> 01:09:21,640
Speaker 1: out of here. Jermy, it's Jermy out of here. I

1278
01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:25,000
Speaker 1: mean more ways than one, but it's Germany out of here. Man.

1279
01:09:25,080 --> 01:09:30,240
Speaker 1: Kids are beautiful. Yeah, I'm so so deeply grateful for

1280
01:09:30,360 --> 01:09:34,160
Speaker 1: quest he's gonna be. He's gonna be a different cat.

1281
01:09:35,200 --> 01:09:36,679
Speaker 1: What was he gonna be? Like? Do you ever wonder

1282
01:09:36,760 --> 01:09:39,160
Speaker 1: what are they gonna be? I don't want to. I

1283
01:09:39,200 --> 01:09:41,240
Speaker 1: don't even want to think about it yet because I

1284
01:09:41,240 --> 01:09:46,160
Speaker 1: don't not want what. I always wonder who are they?

1285
01:09:46,520 --> 01:09:49,000
Speaker 1: You know what? My My intention for his life is

1286
01:09:49,080 --> 01:09:53,280
Speaker 1: just that he feels good being himself that he's kind

1287
01:09:53,360 --> 01:09:57,600
Speaker 1: and compassionate, um and whole, you know, like I I

1288
01:09:57,760 --> 01:10:00,719
Speaker 1: legitimately because the thing is, it's like I don't want

1289
01:10:00,800 --> 01:10:03,640
Speaker 1: my ego tied to my parenting. Your life is not

1290
01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:07,559
Speaker 1: about making me proud. Your life isn't about instilling in

1291
01:10:07,640 --> 01:10:10,200
Speaker 1: me that I am good and worthy and that I've

1292
01:10:10,320 --> 01:10:12,120
Speaker 1: you know, look at what I've done for you and

1293
01:10:12,160 --> 01:10:15,320
Speaker 1: accomplished for you, Like God chose me to bring you here.

1294
01:10:15,479 --> 01:10:18,840
Speaker 1: It is a sacred responsibility. I feel grateful. I'm locked in.

1295
01:10:19,320 --> 01:10:22,559
Speaker 1: And after that, it's like I'm I'm here to lead

1296
01:10:22,600 --> 01:10:25,720
Speaker 1: your way and guide you, but also just love you

1297
01:10:26,040 --> 01:10:28,280
Speaker 1: and whoever you want to be in whatever you want

1298
01:10:28,280 --> 01:10:32,080
Speaker 1: to do. This is your journey. You have every right.

1299
01:10:32,560 --> 01:10:35,880
Speaker 1: That's all you could do. That's how I think. I

1300
01:10:35,920 --> 01:10:39,080
Speaker 1: think about that and to add to and I'm just

1301
01:10:39,080 --> 01:10:43,200
Speaker 1: gonna put the tools there for you. Yeah, and you

1302
01:10:43,200 --> 01:10:46,200
Speaker 1: know what like that, Like I do a lot with affirmations, um,

1303
01:10:46,240 --> 01:10:48,720
Speaker 1: And I think by the time this episode comes out,

1304
01:10:48,880 --> 01:10:51,320
Speaker 1: how I've already released an I G TV about this,

1305
01:10:51,720 --> 01:10:54,280
Speaker 1: but I recorded I G t V on my Instagram

1306
01:10:54,280 --> 01:10:58,760
Speaker 1: page to about like mindfulness tips for babies and one

1307
01:10:58,800 --> 01:11:01,160
Speaker 1: of the things that I love doing in his affirmations

1308
01:11:01,160 --> 01:11:04,160
Speaker 1: request so, and he can't read them, he can't do them.

1309
01:11:04,200 --> 01:11:06,040
Speaker 1: But I just, as I'm holding him at night in

1310
01:11:06,040 --> 01:11:07,600
Speaker 1: the dark before I put him in the crib, I

1311
01:11:07,640 --> 01:11:09,920
Speaker 1: just say them to him, and I say, you are

1312
01:11:09,960 --> 01:11:13,519
Speaker 1: perfectly designed. You're covered in God's grace. You're protected, you

1313
01:11:13,520 --> 01:11:17,679
Speaker 1: are safe, You're provided for, your valued, your treasured, your love.

1314
01:11:18,880 --> 01:11:21,080
Speaker 1: You have all the tools you need for this life

1315
01:11:21,240 --> 01:11:25,040
Speaker 1: inside of you already, you know. Yeah, all right, we

1316
01:11:25,040 --> 01:11:28,280
Speaker 1: gotta go because we could sit here for another five hours.

1317
01:11:29,320 --> 01:11:33,920
Speaker 1: Part one, Terris, I just I love you. I honor

1318
01:11:34,000 --> 01:11:37,920
Speaker 1: your creativity, I honor your impact on this world, and

1319
01:11:38,000 --> 01:11:41,240
Speaker 1: I am always just grateful to know you and to

1320
01:11:41,280 --> 01:11:44,360
Speaker 1: be inspired by you, and just excited for all the

1321
01:11:44,400 --> 01:11:48,280
Speaker 1: other things that you're gonna give the world. I love

1322
01:11:48,320 --> 01:11:50,639
Speaker 1: the problem. Charlotte Many said he slept with your friend

1323
01:11:51,240 --> 01:11:54,679
Speaker 1: in the book. Oh God, I just I just love that.

1324
01:11:55,280 --> 01:11:59,960
Speaker 1: It made me realize how much I love you. Huh huh,

1325
01:12:00,240 --> 01:12:04,880
Speaker 1: Because dev is the plug. What how are we ending

1326
01:12:04,920 --> 01:12:07,519
Speaker 1: the episode like this? It wasn't my friend, Yes and

1327
01:12:07,640 --> 01:12:10,280
Speaker 1: Charlomagne's first book. I don't even know how we got

1328
01:12:10,320 --> 01:12:11,600
Speaker 1: to in the show, because we got to do it

1329
01:12:11,600 --> 01:12:15,720
Speaker 1: because we got expected Charloagne's first book. He talks about

1330
01:12:15,840 --> 01:12:19,400
Speaker 1: how um, I don't know if there was some kind

1331
01:12:19,400 --> 01:12:22,200
Speaker 1: of meet up some of my interns, and I didn't

1332
01:12:22,200 --> 01:12:24,519
Speaker 1: know about it until I read the book. And I

1333
01:12:24,560 --> 01:12:26,519
Speaker 1: still don't want to know about it, and I don't

1334
01:12:26,520 --> 01:12:31,320
Speaker 1: know any of those people anymore. So I love that book. Man,

1335
01:12:32,040 --> 01:12:36,760
Speaker 1: How did we get here? Goodbye to bye Terrace. Yo

1336
01:12:36,840 --> 01:12:40,240
Speaker 1: yo yo yo yo. You can find me ONCT It's

1337
01:12:40,240 --> 01:12:45,120
Speaker 1: the Dropping Gem's podcast. Peace, big thank you for listening

1338
01:12:45,200 --> 01:12:48,160
Speaker 1: to this episode of The Dropping Gems Podcast. This show

1339
01:12:48,200 --> 01:12:51,920
Speaker 1: is executive produced by Adrian Scott and me Debbie Brown.

1340
01:12:52,360 --> 01:12:55,040
Speaker 1: Our theme music was created by producer Day One and

1341
01:12:55,080 --> 01:12:56,800
Speaker 1: the poem that you heard at the beginning of the show,

1342
01:12:56,880 --> 01:12:59,360
Speaker 1: well that was created especially for us by award winning

1343
01:12:59,360 --> 01:13:01,760
Speaker 1: poet and I'm d olaf. If you have a quick

1344
01:13:01,760 --> 01:13:04,960
Speaker 1: moment right now, please hit subscribe on the show and

1345
01:13:05,000 --> 01:13:06,840
Speaker 1: if you like what you heard, take it a step

1346
01:13:06,880 --> 01:13:09,800
Speaker 1: further and give us a five star rating. Until next

1347
01:13:09,840 --> 01:13:12,080
Speaker 1: time you connect with me on I g at Debbie

1348
01:13:12,080 --> 01:13:15,479
Speaker 1: Brown or my website Debbie Brown dot com. Be blessed,