WEBVTT - Ep. 14 Numbers Don't Lie 0:00:02.040 --> 0:00:05.480 Wind Down with Jannet Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast. 0:00:09.760 --> 0:00:12.600 So I am so excited to wind down today because 0:00:12.800 --> 0:00:15.200 I've got my besties in the studio today, and that 0:00:15.240 --> 0:00:21.520 would be my husband Hell and then my girlfriend Sarah. Hello. Hello. 0:00:21.840 --> 0:00:24.759 I'm really pumped because well, I feel bad because Jen sick, 0:00:25.040 --> 0:00:27.280 but it's also an opportunity to bring in some more 0:00:27.280 --> 0:00:31.160 of my my friends in here, and obviously my husband again, 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:34.640 who has become quite the regular on the show, series regular. 0:00:34.760 --> 0:00:36.960 I love it's now as he's now. Yeah, he's now 0:00:37.000 --> 0:00:42.680 a series regular. So I'm gonna negotiate my contract talk later. 0:00:44.479 --> 0:00:46.840 So I have to tell you guys about Sarah because 0:00:46.840 --> 0:00:50.360 Sarah and I have a very unique story. Unique me 0:00:50.440 --> 0:00:52.360 or are you ready? And Sarah's like she's been practicing 0:00:52.400 --> 0:00:54.680 her I literally called her this morning, was like hey, 0:00:54.720 --> 0:00:57.000 I voice membered her and I said, hey, Jen sick, 0:00:57.040 --> 0:00:58.920 can you get to my house? Um? And she lives 0:00:58.960 --> 0:01:01.680 about like probably pretty five nuts away. I swear she 0:01:01.720 --> 0:01:03.680 was at the house in like twenty minutes. I am 0:01:03.720 --> 0:01:08.440 ready to row. She's all about and then my workout clothes. 0:01:08.520 --> 0:01:11.679 But I got done. You look great. So for everyone 0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:14.840 that's listening, Um, I I post Sarah a lot on 0:01:14.880 --> 0:01:18.440 my stories. She's become a great girlfriend of mine here 0:01:18.520 --> 0:01:24.080 in l A. And we met actually on a Southwest 0:01:24.120 --> 0:01:27.920 Airlines flight, this is true from Nashville to l A. 0:01:28.600 --> 0:01:31.559 Nashville was l A to Nashville. You were like here 0:01:31.600 --> 0:01:34.920 for like three hours. You're like, oh, that's right, because 0:01:34.959 --> 0:01:37.720 that's when I had that meeting with the I tested 0:01:37.720 --> 0:01:41.000 for a show and I didn't get it. But it's fine. Um, 0:01:41.120 --> 0:01:43.760 but no, so Sarah was you were supposed to sit 0:01:43.800 --> 0:01:46.039 in another seat, so go ahead. I had my dog, 0:01:47.280 --> 0:01:51.920 the Frenchie, and I saw like two open seats and 0:01:51.960 --> 0:01:53.440 I was traveling with my boyfriend and I got on 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:55.200 first and I was like, oh, sir, can I sit there? 0:01:55.520 --> 0:01:57.080 It was a middle seat aisle, and he's like, oh, 0:01:57.160 --> 0:01:59.160 you need a seat for your dog. I was like, 0:01:59.200 --> 0:02:04.400 oh god, okay, So I looked no. So I looked 0:02:04.440 --> 0:02:06.520 right behind him and like there's just like this pretty 0:02:06.520 --> 0:02:09.359 girl and I'm like total judge a book by its cover. 0:02:09.360 --> 0:02:11.560 I'm like, she's pretty. I'm sitting next to her, and 0:02:11.600 --> 0:02:13.560 so I just like I was like, can I sit here? 0:02:13.560 --> 0:02:15.000 And You're like yeah, And then we talked for like 0:02:15.400 --> 0:02:17.720 the whole flight. We talked the entire entire flight, which 0:02:17.720 --> 0:02:20.520 I feel like, isn't that opposite just from a girl's perspective, 0:02:20.560 --> 0:02:22.919 if you're like traveling with your boyfriend or your significant other, 0:02:23.040 --> 0:02:26.960 it's like a smoke and hot girl like Janna and 0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:28.519 you're like yeah. I mean, my boyfriend was say it 0:02:28.520 --> 0:02:31.720 would be great. I was tiring on the plant, like 0:02:31.720 --> 0:02:34.200 I don't even remember friend, I know, but he was 0:02:34.200 --> 0:02:36.040 like listening. Literally he sat down and I was like, 0:02:36.080 --> 0:02:38.040 this is my friend. She's from Nashville, like, she's married, 0:02:38.080 --> 0:02:39.680 she has He's like, he's like, you got them five 0:02:39.720 --> 0:02:42.440 minutes before. Literally literally. But I mean that's so true 0:02:42.560 --> 0:02:44.520 because I would never if there was a hot girl 0:02:44.560 --> 0:02:47.400 in the row and we were boarding. I'm with Mike, 0:02:47.560 --> 0:02:51.240 I would I would never sit next to the hot girl. Ever. 0:02:51.480 --> 0:02:56.680 Here I am, we are here, we are basically Sarah. Okay, 0:02:56.680 --> 0:02:59.519 so this is how our conversation started. We reading instant 0:02:59.520 --> 0:03:02.560 best friends than the first five minutes. Then her boyfriend boarded. Okay, 0:03:02.560 --> 0:03:06.119 so let me just tell you this story. Her boyfriend said, Okay, 0:03:06.120 --> 0:03:09.280 I talk. Oh no, here we go. Okay, here here 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:12.000 it is. We're sitting down on the plane. This is 0:03:12.040 --> 0:03:13.680 my new best friend. She's in the middle seat, and 0:03:13.760 --> 0:03:15.480 usually like you don't talk to the person in the 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:18.480 middle seat, so it's you know, but like she's really 0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:20.480 cute too, and she's fun and like, okay, this is 0:03:20.520 --> 0:03:22.480 this is cool, Like I have like a new friend. 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:24.600 This is awesome. So then her boyfriend sits down and 0:03:24.639 --> 0:03:30.120 he's he's cute' that's just not my type. But I 0:03:30.120 --> 0:03:36.400 didn't mean like that, no, no, no, he just keeps 0:03:36.400 --> 0:03:38.320 to himself, like I don't even think he probably said HII, 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:41.160 like maybe he said hi, but he's just like me, okay, 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:46.200 like take him next to mine. He's so cute. He's cute. Yeah, 0:03:46.440 --> 0:03:54.120 not my tie anyway, So he dying right now. I 0:03:54.160 --> 0:03:56.000 mean if he was bald, i'd be like, not really cute. 0:03:56.360 --> 0:03:59.880 And he has a lot of hair, so yeah. Anyways, 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:03.960 her boyfriend sits down, who's very cute, and um, so 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:06.840 we're talking and I noticed that he's in like he 0:04:06.880 --> 0:04:09.720 has like hockey gear, you know, it says like hockey school. 0:04:09.720 --> 0:04:12.560 And I was like, oh, I'm obsessed with hockey, like 0:04:12.680 --> 0:04:15.720 absolutely obsessed with hockey. I grew up you know, as 0:04:15.720 --> 0:04:19.200 a figure skater. I loved hockey players. I loved watching hockey, 0:04:19.279 --> 0:04:21.919 like the whole dire thing. Why did you know? I 0:04:21.920 --> 0:04:27.360 didn't say I love hockey players, like, oh god, she's 0:04:27.400 --> 0:04:32.560 a queen. I just sit here and watching. I know 0:04:32.600 --> 0:04:34.320 that both of us. You know, I'm just saying I 0:04:34.320 --> 0:04:38.840 love like I love. Yeah, absolutely fun back, Jenna loves hockey. 0:04:39.680 --> 0:04:42.920 Thank you, Sarah. So I started talking to her boyfriend 0:04:43.800 --> 0:04:45.320 and I was like, so, where were you guys at? 0:04:45.360 --> 0:04:47.120 And you guys were just at a hockey you guys 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:49.560 we were going to Nashville for the Hockey score. Yeah, 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:51.279 hockey camp. And I was like, oh, that's you know, 0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:55.320 that's really cool. Um, you know, that's really exciting. And 0:04:55.360 --> 0:04:56.880 I was like, did you used to play hockey? He's like, 0:04:56.920 --> 0:04:58.599 yeah I did. He's like I played for a little while. 0:04:58.600 --> 0:05:00.000 I was like, oh that's cool. Heays like my dad 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:03.479 played hockey and I was like, oh that's I was like, 0:05:03.480 --> 0:05:07.760 oh that's really cool. She literally goes, oh, so like 0:05:08.200 --> 0:05:10.719 did he like play a lot? So I said, I 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:12.719 was like, so he plays hockey. That's that's really cool. 0:05:12.960 --> 0:05:14.600 And then I kind of started talking to Sarah again, 0:05:14.720 --> 0:05:16.839 but again, huge hockey fan over here. I kind of 0:05:16.839 --> 0:05:19.000 wanted to know more about you know, was it was 0:05:19.080 --> 0:05:22.160 his dead good, like did he like play play you know, 0:05:22.200 --> 0:05:23.680 because I'm like, who knows, Maybe he was just like 0:05:23.680 --> 0:05:33.000 an overseas player and never actually like oss like maybe 0:05:33.000 --> 0:05:34.880 he was like he didn't go professional kind of thing. 0:05:35.120 --> 0:05:40.080 It's hard. Hey, I will back her up. It's hard 0:05:40.160 --> 0:05:41.640 to make it. Yeah, I get it. You were like 0:05:41.720 --> 0:05:45.400 maybe he's like, yeah, dying in like Russia. Yeah, like, 0:05:45.680 --> 0:05:49.760 which is still great and amazing for this, I'm gonna stop. 0:05:49.800 --> 0:05:52.560 But anyways, so you know, I kind of asked again. 0:05:52.600 --> 0:05:54.200 I was like, so was your dad like good? And 0:05:54.200 --> 0:05:56.040 he's like, yeah, you know he was, he was good, 0:05:56.040 --> 0:05:58.159 And I was like, oh cool. I was like, did 0:05:58.160 --> 0:06:00.040 he play like on a team that I would of 0:06:00.160 --> 0:06:03.039 like known. He's like, uh maybe, and I was like okay. 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:05.240 So then I started talking to Sarah again and then 0:06:05.240 --> 0:06:06.680 I was like, god, I really want to know, like 0:06:06.800 --> 0:06:08.880 is someone that I know because again a big hockey 0:06:08.880 --> 0:06:11.440 fan over here. So then I was like, so what 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:14.560 I like know your dad and he's like, um, yeah maybe, 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:16.839 And I was like, well, what's your what's what's your 0:06:16.920 --> 0:06:18.719 dad's name? Like maybe I do know him. He's like 0:06:19.080 --> 0:06:22.680 Wayne Gretzky and I go, you're an literally literally look 0:06:22.760 --> 0:06:26.840 at him and goes and he just like started dying laughing. 0:06:27.080 --> 0:06:29.440 I was like, Wayne Gretzky could have just started with that, 0:06:29.640 --> 0:06:32.400 like the greatest hockey player of all time? Put your 0:06:32.440 --> 0:06:37.520 dad name the great one. Yeah, okay, I was just like, 0:06:37.720 --> 0:06:39.880 so I then stopped talking to him because I was 0:06:39.880 --> 0:06:44.880 mad at him. Um, Sarah, So obviously I don't have 0:06:44.960 --> 0:06:50.680 my period right now. Um, what kind of tampons do 0:06:50.720 --> 0:06:54.280 you use? Um? That's like super personal. But no, that's okay, 0:06:54.360 --> 0:06:56.800 you don't have to use I think I used like 0:06:56.839 --> 0:07:00.320 this play tax I've never used a tampon? Are you serious? Yeah? 0:07:00.760 --> 0:07:04.920 What do you use? Yeah, I'm not afraid to admit it. Yeah, no, 0:07:05.560 --> 0:07:08.800 I just never have ever And I'm forty four. Why 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:12.680 have you? Just like are you afraid? It just seems 0:07:12.680 --> 0:07:15.760 a little interesting. But that's what about like Lola, because 0:07:15.760 --> 0:07:19.320 they pall and right. But I'm sorry, I have to 0:07:19.320 --> 0:07:21.800 get back to this, but like you have, you have 0:07:21.880 --> 0:07:28.880 other things to go up there. Well, hey, that's fine, 0:07:29.240 --> 0:07:35.680 Uncle Roy, poor uncle Roy. Um, that's really funny. No, 0:07:35.880 --> 0:07:38.240 but that's true though, Lola. You need to start using 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:41.040 Lola because so you're play tax ones that you're using, 0:07:41.120 --> 0:07:45.920 they're not organic and uh. Lola is a female founded 0:07:45.960 --> 0:07:49.400 company offering a line of organic cotton tampons, pads, liners, 0:07:49.440 --> 0:07:53.440 and all natural cleansing wipes. So unlike all the other 0:07:53.480 --> 0:07:56.520 major brands, Lola products are a percent natural. So I 0:07:56.560 --> 0:07:58.320 mean for me, like you're worried about what you put 0:07:58.360 --> 0:08:02.280 your body, you to be worried about showed up there. Yes, yes, 0:08:02.320 --> 0:08:03.440 and you don't have to worry about it because it 0:08:03.440 --> 0:08:05.640 shows up at your house exactly so you can pick 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:07.360 So for example, like when you go to the store 0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:10.680 and you're picking out your other tampons, it's like, I'm 0:08:10.680 --> 0:08:15.680 so embarrassed to check out, Well are you really okay? 0:08:15.720 --> 0:08:17.240 I was like I'm the person who I was like 0:08:17.360 --> 0:08:19.400 a fifty o'clock. I'm like, here we go. Well, but 0:08:19.520 --> 0:08:20.960 there's a thing like you don't need a fifty you know. 0:08:21.000 --> 0:08:23.880 It's like you're gonna have so many like you know, lights, 0:08:24.000 --> 0:08:25.600 but it's like this way, like a Lola, you can 0:08:25.640 --> 0:08:30.760 actually customize the number of super regular lights that you want. 0:08:30.840 --> 0:08:32.400 So you're not and then it shows up to your 0:08:32.400 --> 0:08:35.600 door right when you're it's like, oh, hello, I'm about 0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:37.559 to start my period because low ledgers shot up in 0:08:37.600 --> 0:08:40.240 my door. So a forty percent off all subscriptions. Visit 0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:42.880 my lola dot com and enter Janna when you subscribe, 0:08:42.880 --> 0:08:46.160 that's my lola dot com promacode Janna for forty percent 0:08:46.160 --> 0:08:50.079 off all subscriptions, my lola dot com and enter Janna. Well, 0:08:50.080 --> 0:08:51.240 this is when I knew we were going to be 0:08:51.240 --> 0:08:54.360 best friends, because we're sitting there and she's like, so, 0:08:54.640 --> 0:08:56.560 how long have you guys been together? And I said 0:08:56.960 --> 0:08:59.720 almost five years? And she looks at him and goes, 0:09:00.600 --> 0:09:03.480 what the f are you waiting for? And I said, 0:09:03.520 --> 0:09:06.320 oh my god, like I think, I like almost wept. 0:09:06.640 --> 0:09:11.360 I was like, thank you, thank you, like somebody thank you. 0:09:11.520 --> 0:09:15.200 And he was like, oh my god. He like this 0:09:15.240 --> 0:09:18.880 girl that i've number five. He's like, you told her 0:09:18.920 --> 0:09:20.920 to say that. I'm like, I don't even know her, 0:09:21.600 --> 0:09:25.000 That's why I but that's again, it's five years, Michael, like, 0:09:25.120 --> 0:09:26.719 and I know that You're like, oh, that's such a 0:09:26.800 --> 0:09:30.199 jama thing to do, but it's five years. That's like 0:09:30.320 --> 0:09:34.680 I would say that I did it stranger again, she 0:09:34.720 --> 0:09:37.840 did not. I don't know. We'reybody come like besties, you know. 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:40.440 But now I'm like, still to this day, I'm like, 0:09:40.480 --> 0:09:43.520 what are you doing no. And then we're sitting there 0:09:43.520 --> 0:09:45.920 and she's like, so I'm like, okay, take the heat off. 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:50.040 So I'm like, oh, what's your story? Like literally, I 0:09:50.080 --> 0:09:52.000 go how long have you been married? And she goes 0:09:52.240 --> 0:09:56.560 happily and tally looked at me. I was like, oh, 0:09:56.640 --> 0:09:58.800 I was like, okay, I don't know if I should 0:09:58.840 --> 0:10:02.160 have them talk to each other. I mean, just a 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:05.319 perfect storm. Sorry, that's always my leading, Like I'm even 0:10:05.360 --> 0:10:07.319 Mary for I'm like happily or no. But it was 0:10:07.360 --> 0:10:08.720 so funny, like she didn't think she was ever going 0:10:08.760 --> 0:10:10.040 to see me again. I don't think I was going 0:10:10.080 --> 0:10:12.280 to see her again. We were dying. I mean we 0:10:12.280 --> 0:10:14.800 were a very honor very It was like one of 0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:16.400 those things where like when you think you're never going 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:18.439 to see someone against, you just go all out, just 0:10:18.960 --> 0:10:22.120 like full disclosure, here are my fears, here my dad is. 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:26.559 And then five years like what is happening? And Aby 0:10:26.559 --> 0:10:29.360 wants to know this because she's in something where it'll 0:10:29.400 --> 0:10:32.080 be a hundred years. So it's like she but this 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:34.200 is good. You need to hear this because she's putting 0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:37.280 her foot down. So like we're almost at six years 0:10:38.240 --> 0:10:41.320 and what is it good? Oh? No, it couldn't be. 0:10:41.440 --> 0:10:47.280 It's good, I know, because it's something that I want. 0:10:46.600 --> 0:10:50.640 I want that he would have a baby. Now she 0:10:50.760 --> 0:10:52.640 doesn't want to go on that order. She wants to 0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:55.400 be married first. I'm on like Jana scene where I'm like, 0:10:55.440 --> 0:10:57.480 it's just what I want. I just want that union. 0:10:57.520 --> 0:10:59.240 I just want the marriage, like I just want to 0:10:59.240 --> 0:11:03.760 text back. But it's literally I said him a picture 0:11:03.800 --> 0:11:05.400 on the plane and it was the aisle and it 0:11:05.440 --> 0:11:07.800 was and I literally was like all my friends walking 0:11:07.800 --> 0:11:09.320 down the aisle and I'm just walking down the plane 0:11:09.320 --> 0:11:12.320 aisle like no, but I did that all the time 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:14.520 to him. So I did you put your You did 0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:18.120 because we had it. Sarah's like, now become our our child, 0:11:18.280 --> 0:11:21.120 our child Jolie. Yeah, we call her Jolie two point oh. 0:11:21.160 --> 0:11:23.760 She's whenever it's Mike and I, it's always then Sarah. 0:11:23.880 --> 0:11:27.480 She becomes our our daughter, and it's always like third 0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:30.480 You're not like third wheeling because it's truly like our daughter. 0:11:31.320 --> 0:11:38.120 But we're like the same. What an honor. But so 0:11:38.600 --> 0:11:40.720 you came over and looked out with us and you're like, guys, 0:11:40.760 --> 0:11:43.080 I'm gonna I just w was say, Amy, listen up. 0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:45.560 This is where you need to hear. I just was 0:11:45.640 --> 0:11:48.160 like her dad, actually my dad and I had a 0:11:48.200 --> 0:11:51.240 really good talk and he is like, you know, he's 0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:53.480 the dad and we had like a really emotional talk 0:11:53.520 --> 0:11:54.880 and he's like, I just want you to be happy, 0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:57.679 like and I could. I am happy. And so that's 0:11:57.679 --> 0:11:59.480 why I go back and forth, because I'm like, why 0:11:59.480 --> 0:12:02.040 would I I have my girlfriend sending me like bumble 0:12:02.080 --> 0:12:04.000 pictures and they're like, thank your man tonight, like the 0:12:04.080 --> 0:12:06.240 freaks are out, and so I'm like, why would I 0:12:06.320 --> 0:12:10.400 like rock something that's so good? But however, you know, 0:12:11.200 --> 0:12:12.640 I just don't want to look back and be like, 0:12:12.679 --> 0:12:14.960 you know, like what if he never marries me? Right? 0:12:15.080 --> 0:12:16.679 But what if you're happy for a hundred years and 0:12:16.960 --> 0:12:19.080 she doesn't want that. She wants to be married. You know, 0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:21.800 She's like, and we may want to go another six years. 0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:24.600 Such an interesting conversation. It is such do you want 0:12:24.640 --> 0:12:27.960 to have a piece of paper? Do you want to 0:12:28.000 --> 0:12:32.880 be happy? I know what's his hold up? Maybe he's 0:12:32.920 --> 0:12:36.560 seen unhappy marriages. I think he just with GWayne Gretzky 0:12:36.600 --> 0:12:41.120 and no, he like literally he doesn't have a reason. 0:12:41.480 --> 0:12:43.080 So I think that's why I'm like, if you had 0:12:43.080 --> 0:12:45.400 like a reason. He just says, like why why? Now? 0:12:45.400 --> 0:12:46.920 Why rush? How old are you? How old is he? 0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:53.720 He's I know, I know, but but she's from Texas. 0:12:53.960 --> 0:12:59.200 Her little sister just got married. Yeah, that's hard when 0:12:59.240 --> 0:13:01.400 you have That's the main thing is, it's a lot 0:13:01.440 --> 0:13:03.679 of pressure for me. I'm the one who gets all 0:13:03.679 --> 0:13:05.760 the questions like why is everyone asking me? Like why 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:09.240 what about not worrying about the noise? Because she wants 0:13:09.280 --> 0:13:11.080 to have because I do want that with him, Like 0:13:11.120 --> 0:13:13.640 she wants to start, like and here's the problem because 0:13:13.679 --> 0:13:15.480 I feel like guys too in l A. It's very 0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:18.000 different from like, you know, you guys back in Baltimore 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:21.040 where it's it's the guys here in California are like 0:13:21.080 --> 0:13:24.240 ten years behind. So she doesn't want to be thirties 0:13:24.280 --> 0:13:27.320 seven and still in a situation where she's not married 0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:31.160 and doesn't have kids totally where I think with you Michael, 0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:33.679 like yeah, it depends on Yeah, I think geographically he 0:13:33.720 --> 0:13:36.080 does have something to play to a part to play 0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:38.520 in it. But also what your parents are still married, right, 0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:41.000 They've been married for a long time. Literally, Like even 0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:42.800 in my sister's wedding speech, I was like, I'm someone 0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:45.360 who can definitely say, like, I think my parents have 0:13:45.520 --> 0:13:48.480 the perfect marriage. His parents have been married thirty years, 0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:50.440 mine are almost out thirty, so like we both come 0:13:50.480 --> 0:13:53.640 from that. I just I'm like what he literally is like, 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:56.880 go like, why rush? That's literally his rush? I mean 0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:59.560 that's literally his why rush? And you can tell him 0:13:59.600 --> 0:14:02.280 it's not about rushing, It's about this year the person 0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:03.640 I know I want to spend the rest of my 0:14:03.679 --> 0:14:06.960 life with. Marriage is something that is important to me 0:14:07.040 --> 0:14:09.280 that my parents have shown me a good example, and 0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:11.920 it's something that for me, I won't feel complete until 0:14:11.960 --> 0:14:13.520 I have that, and I want to complete my life 0:14:13.559 --> 0:14:16.680 with you complete. So why not do that complete me 0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:20.320 and marry me completely? No, that means like that the 0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:23.280 more he gets it now. A year ago he was 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:25.360 like whatever, but like he gets it now, So what's 0:14:25.400 --> 0:14:29.000 the timeline now? I mean, what do you mean, like, 0:14:29.160 --> 0:14:32.280 if you're thirty and you are still not don't have 0:14:32.360 --> 0:14:34.840 a ring on your finger? No, I'm thinking, like I 0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:36.720 think a year. I think it will be happening in 0:14:36.760 --> 0:14:40.040 a year. And you said maybe, you said be prepared 0:14:40.040 --> 0:14:43.960 for the consequences of what happens when you do pressure him. Yeah, 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:47.240 like you're going to break up with this No, And 0:14:47.280 --> 0:14:49.560 that's the thing. It's all just talk. I'm so talk 0:14:49.680 --> 0:14:51.640 she but I will say this though, is like she's 0:14:51.680 --> 0:14:55.440 not doing the things that she's Yeah, it's like it's 0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:57.240 almost like holding you back in a way. I just 0:14:57.280 --> 0:14:59.880 want that, like it is I would say, I just 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:01.720 want that, like because it's like what is my purpose? 0:15:01.720 --> 0:15:03.360 Actel Like I'm just following him here and there, and 0:15:03.400 --> 0:15:06.400 they're all my families and Texas and I just sometimes, 0:15:06.480 --> 0:15:08.480 you know, I get home, I have tons of nieces 0:15:08.480 --> 0:15:10.680 and nephews, and I just sometimes feel like I'm missing out. 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:12.360 And I'm like, if you give me that, if you 0:15:12.440 --> 0:15:14.240 become my family and it's you and me, then I 0:15:14.280 --> 0:15:16.800 have then I'm fine staying here in California and I'm fine. 0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:19.000 If not, then it's like okay, and then I'm thirty, 0:15:19.000 --> 0:15:20.400 then I just start all over and do I move 0:15:20.440 --> 0:15:23.840 back to San France? Like this the great debate of 0:15:23.880 --> 0:15:30.880 all life? Literally because you're happy. I'm so happy married people, 0:15:31.520 --> 0:15:35.520 I know, but there's still something missing though. That's the thing. 0:15:35.600 --> 0:15:39.640 You can still be like missing just because you're pretending 0:15:39.800 --> 0:15:41.280 it's missing. Do you know what I mean? Are you 0:15:41.360 --> 0:15:43.840 making up that it's missing. Maybe it's not missing because 0:15:43.920 --> 0:15:47.840 she wants I just want to just I'm just so stubborn. 0:15:48.160 --> 0:15:54.400 Everybody support No, it's literally God, I gotta get to Texas. No, 0:15:54.800 --> 0:15:57.400 I think I'm just so stubborn. And so now I'm like, 0:15:57.640 --> 0:15:59.560 now it's a thing where like, okay, you won't give 0:15:59.560 --> 0:16:02.360 me a ring, so now why won't you? Wendy Walsh 0:16:02.400 --> 0:16:04.480 gets here. Dr Wendy Walsh, this is like a great 0:16:04.480 --> 0:16:08.960 thing to start with her, because you might be sabotaging 0:16:09.000 --> 0:16:13.680 your own happiness. I know I probably am like a psychologist, 0:16:14.440 --> 0:16:17.480 but here's my question though, but she might not not 0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:19.240 just to play Devil's advocate with you. Just what you 0:16:19.280 --> 0:16:22.680 just said, Amy is she might be sabotaging her own 0:16:22.760 --> 0:16:26.720 growth and her own dreams and aspirations by being held 0:16:26.720 --> 0:16:29.360 back by someone that isn't wanting to move forward with her. 0:16:30.320 --> 0:16:32.920 And it's a crap shoot, hold on, I'm getting the doctor, okay. 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:35.640 But I mean from a guy's perspective though, like you 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:37.280 don't want to feel rushed. I mean I remember in 0:16:37.320 --> 0:16:39.600 the very beginning, I mean I put my foot down 0:16:39.600 --> 0:16:41.720 and I was like, look, we own this house together. 0:16:41.760 --> 0:16:43.840 I don't want to play house put her ring on it. 0:16:43.960 --> 0:16:45.640 This is what I want. I told you what I want, 0:16:45.640 --> 0:16:47.200 and you're not in the same page. Get out like 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:49.360 that's the I just have a very like, this is 0:16:49.400 --> 0:16:52.280 what I wanted. But then he would he didn't like 0:16:52.400 --> 0:16:55.280 the It's not that I ultimatum do or made you rush, 0:16:55.560 --> 0:17:00.440 but like, but because of my codependency, it felt like that, 0:17:00.640 --> 0:17:02.400 and so I felt like I had no choice and 0:17:02.440 --> 0:17:04.280 that was because of my internal struggle. So I felt 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:05.920 like I had to do that to keep her happy 0:17:06.200 --> 0:17:09.879 when ultimately created a lot of resentment in me. Now, granted, 0:17:09.880 --> 0:17:13.000 you guys have five six years and our timeline was 0:17:13.040 --> 0:17:16.800 a lot shorter. So but I come from like I mean, 0:17:16.840 --> 0:17:20.080 my dad was married once. All I have three older sisters, 0:17:20.320 --> 0:17:23.439 they've all been married at least once, and so I 0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:26.520 come from line. I know that, you know, divorces a 0:17:26.560 --> 0:17:29.359 real thing. And so that's why I've worked so hard 0:17:29.400 --> 0:17:32.359 to not pressure him, not ultimate um him, not because 0:17:32.359 --> 0:17:34.800 I don't ever want him to to ever have that 0:17:34.840 --> 0:17:36.840 to throw back at me. I want and I tell him, 0:17:36.880 --> 0:17:38.040 I go, I just want you to marry me because 0:17:38.040 --> 0:17:39.439 you want to marry me. Well, but that's the thing too, 0:17:39.520 --> 0:17:41.720 that's why you don't want to have kids first because 0:17:41.760 --> 0:17:44.400 you don't want to feel like you're getting married because 0:17:44.920 --> 0:17:48.200 I had to kid, because that's that sucks. It's like, oh, 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:50.320 so you're just really marrying me because now I'm pregnant 0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:51.840 and now I'm like, I now I have your kid 0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:54.560 like that. Even Jane, Jane wanted to try to get 0:17:54.600 --> 0:17:58.560 pregnant we we got married. When I said I didn't 0:17:58.560 --> 0:18:00.680 want to have a baby until we get married, and 0:18:00.840 --> 0:18:08.240 she was we decided, Oh no, you guys, I'm never 0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:12.080 coming back. I thought we decided that we wanted kids, 0:18:12.200 --> 0:18:19.440 like we're gonna start trying. Oh my, Mike, Mike. 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