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Speaker 1: This is John, this is I am Okay Storytime podcast hosts,

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Speaker 1: and we have some.

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Speaker 2: Story is coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: That's right.

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Speaker 3: But before that, we have a little morsel of a

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Speaker 3: two minute outbreak from the sponsors keeping the show delicious.

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Speaker 4: Hmmm.

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Speaker 2: My ex demanded that I skip a housewarming party because

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Speaker 2: his fiance is uncomfortable with me.

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Speaker 1: Excuse me, my ex.

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Speaker 2: Twenty seven mail and I twenty six female. I just

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Speaker 2: split two years ago.

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Speaker 3: I just imagine that's shit. That guy souths so well.

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Speaker 3: Such an annoying thing to ask.

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Speaker 2: We met through my best friend who worked in the

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Speaker 2: same theater as him then, and the reason we broke

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Speaker 2: up was because he didn't think we were working anymore.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from new Material seventy eight

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Speaker 2: ninety six on the arsash Okay story Time read it,

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Speaker 2: so it was pretty amicable. I didn't put up a

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Speaker 2: fight or anything, but I strongly believed there was no

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Speaker 2: reason for us to be friends anymore. That always causes problems,

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Speaker 2: But I'm still friendly with his friends and I make

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Speaker 2: small talk if I run into his parents. We live

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Speaker 2: in a pretty close knit environment. Don't ask me how

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Speaker 2: we live in a city, but most of my friends

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Speaker 2: and his come from either the same UNI, or have

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Speaker 2: a common hobby, or we roam around the same circles,

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Speaker 2: and we definitely see each other once or twice every

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Speaker 2: couple of months. My ex has a fiance now, and

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Speaker 2: I am happy for them. I've never met her until now.

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Speaker 2: I thought this didn't matter or anything. We are all adults,

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Speaker 2: or so I think. One of his closest friends, Peter,

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Speaker 2: just bought a house. I am friends with his girlfriend,

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Speaker 2: and we are both invited to the housewarming. I didn't

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Speaker 2: think anything of it. However, my ex texted me yesterday

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Speaker 2: after like a year, albeit very politely, that maybe I

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Speaker 2: could skip the housewarming as he was bringing his fiance

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Speaker 2: and she will feel uncomfortable. I was pretty weirded out

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Speaker 2: by his wording, so I called him. He says his

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Speaker 2: fiancee feels uncomfortable that it would be anywhere close to him,

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Speaker 2: and the fact that they both feel like I sometimes

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Speaker 2: intrude into their social gatherings. It's not just your social gathering,

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Speaker 2: you just to prove I'm better than her friends. I

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Speaker 2: got pretty mad hearing him say these things, and I

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Speaker 2: asked him, in what way we are not friends? And

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Speaker 2: I stopped hanging out with his friends the moment we

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Speaker 2: broke up to not make things difficult. There were a

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Speaker 2: lot of people in his circle I became close to,

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Speaker 2: but I stepped away just so that things weren't awkward

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Speaker 2: for any future partner. And how was it my fault?

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Speaker 2: My ex explained two of his friends didn't like or

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Speaker 2: respect his girlfriend and thought her an airhead, and so

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Speaker 2: did his parents. It sounds like you might be an airhead.

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Speaker 2: Then our circles are I admit, full of literature and

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Speaker 2: theater people, and I admit some of them can be pretentious. Again,

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Speaker 2: I told him that was him being a spineless boyfriend

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Speaker 2: and not my problem. I told my ex strongly that

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Speaker 2: both Peter and his girlfriend are my friends and I

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Speaker 2: would be going to their housewarming and his relationship issues

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Speaker 2: are not my problem. And his fiance sent a long

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Speaker 2: text on how she was sorry but now I was

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Speaker 2: apparently being vindictive and how did it matter if I

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Speaker 2: didn't go to a housewarming. She asked me to not

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Speaker 2: make any drama and please respect her. She's the one

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Speaker 2: making the drama. She's the one making the drama. So

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Speaker 2: I guess what Opee did? Did reply? Blocked her bear

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Speaker 2: but blocked bucked. My friends are pissed at my ex,

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Speaker 2: and I haven't told my friend or Peter any of

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Speaker 2: it yet. I think maybe I could have handled it

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Speaker 2: any other way. Am I the A hole? And we

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Speaker 2: do have more relevant comments. Peter's girlfriend and I have

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Speaker 2: been friends for a long time, and we were even

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Speaker 2: roommates for eight months. Technically I'm closer. I'm a closer

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Speaker 2: friend to Peter than my ex is, even though they

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Speaker 2: are college friends, because of his fiances antics and Pete

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Speaker 2: and another one of his closest friends are drifting away

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Speaker 2: from my ex because he insists on bringing her every

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Speaker 2: where and they don't like her. Out of all my

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Speaker 2: ex's friends, it's only Pete I'm close too, mainly because

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Speaker 2: of his girlfriend. Plus his girlfriend and Pete met through me,

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Speaker 2: so I am a very close part of their friend group,

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Speaker 2: which is why I was pissed at my ex, because

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Speaker 2: I can understand if he was telling me to skip

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Speaker 2: his best friend's party, but telling me to skip one

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Speaker 2: of my closest friend's housewarming for his fiance who people

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Speaker 2: don't like their sounded so stupid.

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Speaker 1: Yeah it is.

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Speaker 2: I know something too, says not the A hole, but

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Speaker 2: you should tell Peter and his girlfriend. Your ex and

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Speaker 2: his fiancees are wieners. It's not your job to manage

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Speaker 2: their emotions or insecurities. If she's uncomfortable, then she should

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Speaker 2: stay home. Fry one fat Manni says, I agree, Peter

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Speaker 2: should be told before the ex has a chance to

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Speaker 2: spin this and make OPI the bad guy. And OPI responds,

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Speaker 2: Peter is one of those people who doesn't like her.

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Speaker 2: Our circle is mainly filled with people who mix with

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Speaker 2: the certain type of bookish thinking. Plus, Peter and another

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Speaker 2: of my ex's friends think she is anti intellectual. Most

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Speaker 2: of my exist friends are like that theater people or

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Speaker 2: really pretentious a holes. Peter doesn't like her more because

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Speaker 2: he thinks my ex was stupid to break up with

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Speaker 2: me and couldn't handle it if I was doing better

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Speaker 2: than him. Their friendship is already on thin ice, and

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Speaker 2: I don't want to be the reason it breaks.

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Speaker 1: Update.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for all the lovely suggestions in my previous post,

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Speaker 2: which is why I'm doing an update. I did go

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Speaker 2: to the party, honestly. After reading that yes, my ex

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Speaker 2: had in fact lost his mind, I decided to not

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Speaker 2: bother Peter or his girlfriend. My friend and just go

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Speaker 2: and man, I'm a business. It's not like my ex

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Speaker 2: and his fiance would come and scream the house down

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Speaker 2: on seeing me. Right again, I guess I didn't mention

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Speaker 2: my last post. The reason I was more mad at

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Speaker 2: my ex was because I have a very serious boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: The idea that my ex's fiance would think I'd go

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Speaker 2: anywhere or despite my ex, despite having a boyfriend was

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Speaker 2: really insulting. So we went to the housewarming and I

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Speaker 2: ignored them. I didn't care. We are all adults and

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Speaker 2: I am not going to fuel drama. And my exit

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Speaker 2: and his fiance her especially, made a fool of themselves,

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Speaker 2: and at some point even I felt bad because I

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Speaker 2: saw how desperate she was for my ex's friends to

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Speaker 2: respect her or take any one of her sentences seriously.

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Speaker 2: Whoever she tried to talk to ignored her or straight

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Speaker 2: up walked away. Yikes.

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Speaker 3: Well, I mean, YI doesn't sound like a fun time again.

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Speaker 2: Peter and my exes friends are a different group and

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Speaker 2: I'm not friends with them, but the way my ex

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Speaker 2: let his friends treat his fiance made my blood boil.

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Speaker 2: I mostly hung out with my friends, Peter's girlfriend's friend

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Speaker 2: group and I didn't speak or look at my ex once.

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Speaker 4: This is where you just had the blat like the

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Speaker 4: best time of your life, like your glow up. Yeah yeah,

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Speaker 4: you just look so good, looks like you're having fun

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Speaker 4: and you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like you're like laughing in slow motion.

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Speaker 2: You're doing the whole thing, you know.

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Speaker 4: You do the hair twirl.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: One time he said hi, and my boyfriend said hello back,

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Speaker 2: and we didn't see him near us for the rest

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Speaker 2: of the night. His fiance just asked me if my

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Speaker 2: dress wasn't a bit too.

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Speaker 3: Modest, wasn't a bit too modest?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah, you're dressing a little bit, a little

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Speaker 2: bit too covered up. Peter told her everyone there followed

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Speaker 2: the dress code casual elegant and asked me, I didn't

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Speaker 2: make the rules, but she didn't. My boyfriend already loathed

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Speaker 2: my ex, so we did not mingle near them again. Overall,

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Speaker 2: I had a good time. We even got to leave

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Speaker 2: early and have some more time to ourselves, watched a movie,

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Speaker 2: and had a good time at home. However, what pissed

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Speaker 2: me off was how much of a crappy fiance he

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Speaker 2: was and how much his fiance was trying to fit

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Speaker 2: in and baily, and he wouldn't even help her. My

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Speaker 2: boyfriend isn't just a bookish person. He doesn't fit in

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Speaker 2: with some pretentious people either, and he's very blunt, so

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Speaker 2: some people don't like him. Plus he loves video games

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Speaker 2: and comics, and he has hobbies trekking diving, which scare me,

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Speaker 2: but we compromise and learn to adjust to each other's interests. Plus,

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Speaker 2: if someone treats my boyfriend even a little like how

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Speaker 2: they treat my ex's fiance, I would cut them off,

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Speaker 2: no questions asked. And I am all already a low

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Speaker 2: contact with a few friends who judged and made comments

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Speaker 2: about him in the past. I really hope she leaves

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Speaker 2: him if she has any dignity, or he gets his

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Speaker 2: crap together. Like all in all, not my problem, by

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Speaker 2: the way, what should be your problem is listening to

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Speaker 2: every episode of this podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

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Speaker 2: We literally release twice a day. You can listen while

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Speaker 2: you're cooking, you can listen while you're cleaning. Christine Armadello

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Speaker 2: eight twelve says something about the first story and the

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Speaker 2: modest dress comment has me thinking the new fiance wasn't

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Speaker 2: a fair partner, and she's always been insecure about Ope.

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Speaker 2: She's been competing with you longer than you realize. Probably

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Speaker 2: Pill Michaelson said, yes, I agree with you. It seems

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Speaker 2: like that girl was the a fair partner of Ope's

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Speaker 2: ex fiance. That would definitely explain the competition, the insecurity,

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Speaker 2: why his friends treat her so badly, and why his

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Speaker 2: parents don't like her.

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Speaker 3: Mm oh, crap, I would hope parents don't like getting

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Speaker 3: within a fair partner.

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Speaker 2: It would also explain why he doesn't respect or try

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Speaker 2: to protect her. Why would he take someone with no

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Speaker 2: moral seriously? I bet Opie's ex fiance's friends and parents

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Speaker 2: like OPI More and the girls in the group are

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Speaker 2: probably making that girl's life hard out of fear that

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Speaker 2: she'll go after their boyfriends, just like she did with

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Speaker 2: Op's X. Opie, keep your distance from them. They don't

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Speaker 2: deserve even a minute of your time and surround miserable

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Speaker 2: to Sis, who says you handle this perfectly. Part of

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Speaker 2: me felt like she didn't want you there because she

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Speaker 2: didn't want the reality check. Because she has, she has

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Speaker 2: now had the opportunity to see how you interact with people,

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Speaker 2: how your boyfriend interacts with you and how people interact

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Speaker 2: with her boyfriend and the parent hawks between your situation

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Speaker 2: in her situation. It's a shame you block them because

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Speaker 2: I imagine if they were if there were messages in

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Speaker 2: back last year's success versus hers, they would have been

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Speaker 2: glorious to read. But importantly you don't care. In fact,

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Speaker 2: you have empathy for her. That's great shows how beautifully

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Speaker 2: you've grown over two years. And Bald forty two says, wow,

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Speaker 2: you are genuinely a nice person. After she took a

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Speaker 2: petty dig at you, you are more mad at how

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Speaker 2: your ex's friend treat her than your ex was. I

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Speaker 2: think that says a lot about your character and what

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Speaker 2: a strong and confident person you are. Bravo op and suitable.

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Speaker 2: Park one eight four says not the a hole for attending,

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Speaker 2: but I think all of your friends sound like pretentious

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Speaker 2: a holes. A dress code for a housewarming. We have

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Speaker 2: dress codes for our party.

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Speaker 4: It's called a theme party.

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Speaker 2: Yeah like we like say yeah, yeah, we like say

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Speaker 2: wear fun hats.

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Speaker 4: Option.

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Speaker 2: But being rude to ignoring someone's partner because they're not

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Speaker 2: smart enough or interesting enough, No way, no p In

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Speaker 2: response to a downloaded comment that claimed she hadn't gotten

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Speaker 2: over her ex says wow, because having empathy if a person,

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Speaker 2: no matter how they act, is being treated poorly, means

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Speaker 2: that I have not moved on. Caring about how others

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Speaker 2: are being treated doesn't always come with ulterior motives, and

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Speaker 2: my being mad at my ex for being a crap

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Speaker 2: human being towards fiance has nothing to do with my

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Speaker 2: non existent feelings for him, but everything to do with

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Speaker 2: being uncomfortable with another woman being insulted in front of you.

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Speaker 2: Op taken the high road, tell them off.

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Speaker 3: And when they go low, she goes hi, he goes

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Speaker 3: High's right.

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Speaker 2: And that's where that story ends.

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Speaker 1: My friend is entitled and I finally broke free.

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Speaker 2: Read a story two years have no contact with an

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Speaker 2: ex friend of mine, Emma, and figured this would be

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Speaker 2: a good sub to share the story of our friendship.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from throw a lantern on

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Speaker 2: the our slash Okay storytime subreddits. Emma was a victim

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Speaker 2: of bold, so I became her only school friend. Her

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Speaker 2: parents loved bomb me, buying me lots of gifts, calling

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Speaker 2: me Emma's savior, and lecturing me about needing to always

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Speaker 2: support her because she was bullied, et cetera. I didn't

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Speaker 2: know better at thirteen years old, and I was essentially

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Speaker 2: being groomed to be Emma's terr oh okay. I also

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Speaker 2: met Kate, who was Emma's childhood friend, and we became

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Speaker 2: a cute group of three. But by college I realized

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Speaker 2: Emma was falling far behind immaturity. Her mom would ask

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Speaker 2: me to help her poor Emma with basic things like

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Speaker 2: catch the bus with her or driver even though she

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Speaker 2: could drive, Even when it was inconvenient for me, like

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Speaker 2: when I moved out of home and lived an hour away,

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Speaker 2: her mom would still try to guilt trip me. It

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Speaker 2: became a one sided friendship. So to help Emma grow up,

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Speaker 2: I started teaching her and asking her to do things

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Speaker 2: on her own. But the problems grew, and there is

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Speaker 2: a story to show that. That's called the travel story.

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Speaker 2: So we travel with my new college group and they

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Speaker 2: politely asked me to not invite Emma again because she

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Speaker 2: would wander off to call her mom and get lost.

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Speaker 2: She'd lose things, get scammed, or randomly unpack her luggage

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Speaker 2: in public. She always needed help and it was stressing

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Speaker 2: me out. Twenty four to seven. She never pitched in

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Speaker 2: for ubers or food. The hotel mixed up rooms, three

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Speaker 2: people stuck with a single bed, and Emma got two

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Speaker 2: king beds to herself, and she refused to swap, which

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Speaker 2: caused further drama. That's crazy.

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Speaker 1: You're a monster if you do that.

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Speaker 2: She even interrupted and tried to third wheel my one

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Speaker 2: date with my significant other. She had been with us

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Speaker 2: every other meal. She was leaving endless miss calls, pestering

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Speaker 2: for our location and wanting me to pay for her

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Speaker 2: uber to meet us. I cried many times on that trip,

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Speaker 2: and my significant other admitted he dislikes how Emma treats me.

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Speaker 2: By the end of the trip, Emma was still oblivious,

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Speaker 2: insisting my stress was caused by being two uptights. Got

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Speaker 2: another story about how terrible she is her birthday. For

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Speaker 2: her twenty fifth birthday, she invites me and Kate to

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Speaker 2: a dinner, but last minute books a five star hotel

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Speaker 2: room to stay overnight and asks us each to pay.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 2: I decline, saying I already have plans before my dinner,

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Speaker 2: and the day after, Kate dms me privately, saying this

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Speaker 2: is really important to Emma and it will mean a

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Speaker 2: lot if we did the hotel. Just pay and we'll

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Speaker 2: do things differently next time. So I gave it and paid.

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Speaker 2: During dinner, Emma is unimpressed by my gift. That's just

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Speaker 2: Chanelle lipstick. Alexa's Chanell lipstick expensive. Alexi says is expensive.

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Speaker 2: Emma says, you guys pay Between the two of you.

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Speaker 2: I'm the birthday girl.

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Speaker 1: I would leave.

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Speaker 3: I'd be like, hey, birthday girl, I'm gonna give you

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Speaker 3: a great gift called a life lesson.

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Speaker 2: I say, we should have discussed this beforehand, and they

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Speaker 2: both turn on me, like, you know, the birthday girl

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Speaker 2: never pays. While they went to other bars, I faked

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Speaker 2: feeling sick, went back to the hotel room, calling other

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Speaker 2: friends in my sixty foot other for support. That's when

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Speaker 2: I decided to stop being friends, which I think, honestly,

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Speaker 2: she doesn't sound like a good friend at all. I

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Speaker 2: left first thing in the morning for another event, upsetting

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Speaker 2: both Emma and Kate because they expected me to drive

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Speaker 2: them home. Now we got another story my birthday. In

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Speaker 2: the end, I hadn't spoken to them for months, but

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Speaker 2: they eventually reached out wanting to celebrate my birthday. The

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Speaker 2: event went surprisingly well until the bill I know drake.

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Speaker 2: They went through two bottles of wine and cocktails. Emma

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Speaker 2: wanted me to pay What happened to the birthday girl role?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Excuse me? I thought, are we not being consistent here?

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Speaker 2: You invited us out, You're the birthday girl treating us

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Speaker 2: to a night out, hypocrites, and they're the ones who

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Speaker 2: asked me out. We eventually agreed to pay the food

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Speaker 2: three ways and they pay for their own drinks, but

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Speaker 2: Kate's card declined and Emma never pays, so she forgot

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Speaker 2: her pen.

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Speaker 1: No, she did it.

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Speaker 2: I ended up paying Kate transferred me immediately, but Emma didn't,

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Speaker 2: and so began the final chapter. For weeks, Emma kept

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Speaker 2: dodging my questions to pay me back for dinner and

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Speaker 2: some concert tickets. She also owed. I even sent my

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Speaker 2: bank details again and started giving deadlines like please have

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Speaker 2: this done by tomorrow. Her responses would be like, hey,

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Speaker 2: how was your weekend? Or just leaving me on red

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Speaker 2: the audacity scum bait. It's so whack. I eventually called

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Speaker 2: Emma asking why she can't pay me back, and she

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Speaker 2: admits she doesn't know how to transfer money. We walked

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Speaker 2: through it together, but she never makes the payment. I

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Speaker 2: chased her again on text, and I'm left on read ghosted.

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Speaker 2: I asked Kate for help and she said, that's weird.

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Speaker 2: She always pays me back. Hurt to hear. I chased

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Speaker 2: up Emma again a few days later, left on red again,

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Speaker 2: and I finally had enough. I sent her both concert

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Speaker 2: tickets and told her to go with her sister because

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Speaker 2: I'm not doing this anymore. And then Emma immediately pays me.

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Speaker 2: Took almost two months and threats. She made all these excuses,

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Speaker 2: I'm tired, I don't check my phone. You don't know

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Speaker 2: how hard it is to be a receptionist. I'm a lawyer.

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Speaker 2: By the way, you expect so much from me. This

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Speaker 2: outburst has come out of nowhere. I can't believe you're

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Speaker 2: punishing me, et cetera. I sent her a long text

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Speaker 2: about everything I had bottled up, including the travel story,

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Speaker 2: her birthday, my birthday being taken for granted, et cetera,

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Speaker 2: and then I asked for space. Okay, calls me angrily,

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Speaker 2: demands I apologize for hurting Emma's feelings. I said, no,

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Speaker 2: I'm not apologizing for this, and I'd like for both

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Speaker 2: not to contact me. A few days later, Emma sends

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Speaker 2: me this big text he apologize has been then accuse

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Speaker 2: me of being inconsiderate, controlling, and impatient. She justifies never

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Speaker 2: making an effort by saying she's a guest two events

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Speaker 2: and trips away while I'm the apparently in charge. She

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Speaker 2: then says this is all my fault because I should

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Speaker 2: have been clearer and basically nag her more to make

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Speaker 2: an effort, plan, pay, et cetera, and that I should

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Speaker 2: apologize for hurting her and causing drama. She ends her

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00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:16,800
Speaker 2: text passive aggressively with since years so hung up about

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Speaker 2: this and need me to make more of an effort. Whatever,

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Speaker 2: I'll plan the next thing. Let's do tomorrow. Where do

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Speaker 2: you want to go? I'll book again. Cut off, I'll

359
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:31,760
Speaker 2: plan the next thing. Let's do tomorrow. That's not a plan. Instead,

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Speaker 2: I asked for a month of no contact and she

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Speaker 2: left me onbred. A month passes and I get another

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Speaker 2: angry text from her. It's been a month and one

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Speaker 2: day now, why haven't you reached out? I set I'll

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Speaker 2: book this time. Stop hiding. We need to meet up

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Speaker 2: and fight it out. I declined and said the break

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Speaker 2: helped me realize I was happier keeping our distance for now,

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Speaker 2: and I wish her well. Her and her family all

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Speaker 2: immediately blocked me on social media, and that.

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Speaker 3: Was got to love when a problem takes care of itself.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, obviously I'm well aware of the mistakes I made.

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Speaker 2: My boundaries are not strong enough. I fell for the

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Speaker 2: love bombing and shouldn't have felt so guilty about saying no.

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Speaker 2: But now I know to never do it again.

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Speaker 1: Edit.

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Speaker 2: This is for anyone interested in the full hotel story.

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Speaker 2: Emma got with the two king beds. We can dive

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Speaker 2: straight into this, while three girls from my college group

378
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:27,760
Speaker 2: got stuck sharing a single. Wow. Everyone else were couples

379
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:30,600
Speaker 2: with double beds, so obviously the hotel got the keys

380
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,280
Speaker 2: mixed up for Emma and the three girls. Emma was

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Speaker 2: oblivious at first. Awe sucks for them, but my room

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00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:39,159
Speaker 2: is amazing. It's a massive with a dining table and kitchen.

383
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,480
Speaker 2: It got awkward and explained that we needed her to

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Speaker 2: swap rooms. She'd understand, like, why my room, so I

385
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:46,560
Speaker 2: had to spell it out to her a few times.

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00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:49,159
Speaker 2: She refused to swap because she wanted the space in

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Speaker 2: the kitchen, and then negotiated the three girls could share

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Speaker 2: her room, and she didn't want to share with girls

389
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Speaker 2: she didn't know. Well, I tried to maintain my composure.

390
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:59,600
Speaker 2: She had been getting on my nerves all day, and

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Speaker 2: at this this point, the three girls showed up to

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Speaker 2: negotiate with Emma.

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Speaker 1: Two.

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Speaker 2: They noticed I was getting agitated and that Emma wouldn't budge,

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00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,800
Speaker 2: so they said to forget about it. They'll talk to

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Speaker 2: the hotel about upgrading their room. After my significant other

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00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:14,280
Speaker 2: even offered to take the single room so that Emma

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Speaker 2: and I could share our own room, which was an

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Speaker 2: immediate no from me, especially since I was so irritated

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Speaker 2: with her. While turned out the hotel was completely booked

401
00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:26,399
Speaker 2: out because it's near a huge sporting taste stadium, and

402
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:29,600
Speaker 2: the three girls and I spent an hour downstairs with

403
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Speaker 2: one of the hotel managers, and we eventually found out

404
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Speaker 2: one of the couple's rooms also had a sofa bed

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Speaker 2: that could be set up. The couple agreed to swap rooms,

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Speaker 2: leaving them with a single bedroom and the hotel could

407
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,679
Speaker 2: add a spare single to combine it create a double,

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00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,560
Speaker 2: but the hotel was short staffed because they were fully

409
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:48,359
Speaker 2: booked and said we'd have to wait until tomorrow to

410
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:50,960
Speaker 2: set it up. I can't remember what the sleeping arrangements

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00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,280
Speaker 2: ended up being that night. By the way, if you

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00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:56,520
Speaker 2: want to remember every night how you should go to bed,

413
00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,160
Speaker 2: because the best way to go to bed is sleepe

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00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:04,600
Speaker 2: to our voices as they lull you into sleep. You

415
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:08,280
Speaker 2: should go listen to our podcasts that we release episodes

416
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:13,440
Speaker 2: on morning and night every single day, including the weekends.

417
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,960
Speaker 2: Just look up Okay story Time wherever you get your podcasts. However,

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00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,439
Speaker 2: people observed her over the trip and word got out

419
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:22,120
Speaker 2: about the room drama, so they obviously developed opinions about her.

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00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:25,119
Speaker 2: When Emma and I argued after my birthday, I mentioned

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Speaker 2: this hotel drama to her how it wasn't fair to

422
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,080
Speaker 2: the three other girls and other things like never paying

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00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,480
Speaker 2: or pitching in, and she asked if the whole group

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00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:35,680
Speaker 2: knew about what happened, and of course I said yes.

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00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:39,639
Speaker 2: She then got angry at me, texting in all caps,

426
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Speaker 2: accusing me of character assassinating her that I gossip to

427
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:46,960
Speaker 2: try to ruin her reputation, which is not true. She

428
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,520
Speaker 2: did this to herself by refusing to negotiate to with

429
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Speaker 2: the other three girls and refused to make any effort wild.

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Speaker 2: That's where that story ends. My flatmate almost burned down

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Speaker 2: the apartment, then demanded I pay her fines.

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Speaker 1: It's the price of their mistakes.

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00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:05,040
Speaker 2: So I moved to a new city to finish my

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Speaker 2: bachelor's degree. This was the last semester and I needed

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Speaker 2: practical work to gain my last points. I landed a

436
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 2: job in Oslo and found a nice place to live,

437
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:18,159
Speaker 2: sharing a flats with two people. By the way, this

438
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:21,159
Speaker 2: comes from a Cacas ninety two on the r slash

439
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:24,400
Speaker 2: Okay storytime STU about it. So me and the other

440
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,480
Speaker 2: girl had a lot in common. We both worked in

441
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 2: the same field. Her front of the house and security

442
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:32,560
Speaker 2: and some venues, and I worked as a lighting technician

443
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,400
Speaker 2: freelancing in a few theaters as the temp. We got

444
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 2: along so well that we decided to move out once

445
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:41,879
Speaker 2: our lease was up and rent another place together, only

446
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:45,680
Speaker 2: the two of us, Just the two of us. Around

447
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:48,359
Speaker 2: the same time, she got a new job and she

448
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,680
Speaker 2: could work from home and make her own hours. Since

449
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 2: I was happy for her, she would be home way

450
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:55,240
Speaker 2: more than me. We would agree that she could have

451
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,919
Speaker 2: the biggest room and rench should still be split equally.

452
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:01,120
Speaker 2: A few months into the three year lead, she started

453
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:03,919
Speaker 2: to change. She got really self centered and I couldn't

454
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,399
Speaker 2: stand to be around her. All of a sudden, she

455
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:11,679
Speaker 2: said things like I'm better than you. Oh, my job

456
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:14,159
Speaker 2: is better than your job. I make at least twice

457
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:17,680
Speaker 2: what you make. You're a nobody and can't do anything

458
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,080
Speaker 2: for me. This ended in me not wanting to be

459
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:23,359
Speaker 2: around here, and I moved all my stuff into my room,

460
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:25,400
Speaker 2: only going out to use the kitchen in the bathroom.

461
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:28,400
Speaker 2: She also chose to spend thousands of dollars on new

462
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:31,680
Speaker 2: fancy dresses instead of paying me back twenty five dollars

463
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:34,199
Speaker 2: for the internet bill, saying she didn't think it was

464
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:37,120
Speaker 2: important to pay me back and new clothes were more important.

465
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,159
Speaker 2: Sorry for the long back story, but I needed to

466
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:43,399
Speaker 2: give you an image of how efm entitled flatmate was

467
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:47,679
Speaker 2: as a person. During our last year living together. I

468
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:51,639
Speaker 2: was working myself hard. Normal hours for a tech in

469
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:54,959
Speaker 2: Norway is thirty five point five hours a week, and

470
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 2: I was working at least eighty hours for over two months,

471
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,800
Speaker 2: with only one day off in that entire time span.

472
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:05,640
Speaker 2: That meant I was out the door before seven am

473
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:09,280
Speaker 2: and at home after midnight, so I showered and went

474
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:11,120
Speaker 2: straight to bed. I was too tired to do anything else.

475
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 2: One night, I dreamt of a car alarm and it

476
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:18,480
Speaker 2: didn't stop. Then another sound chimes in, and wait, a doorbell.

477
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:21,200
Speaker 2: This didn't fit my dream, so I woke up. Indeed,

478
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:24,159
Speaker 2: someone was ringing our doorbell and the fire alarm was

479
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,360
Speaker 2: going off, the building central fire alarm. My eyes were groggy,

480
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,159
Speaker 2: and I went to open the door. It was four am,

481
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:31,960
Speaker 2: and this guy was looking at me. He didn't say

482
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,680
Speaker 2: a word, so I asked him, what's going on? Is

483
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:38,280
Speaker 2: it really burning? Remember I've been working over two hundred

484
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 2: percent for two months. The guy just looked at me

485
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,280
Speaker 2: with a shock face and said, girl, the alarm is

486
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 2: going off from your apartment. This maybe wake up. I

487
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 2: looked around, and indeed our entire apartment was covered in gray,

488
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 2: thick smoke. I went to the kitchen, as I assume

489
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 2: my flatmate was cooking. No open flames, thankfully, and so

490
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,720
Speaker 2: I turned the oven off and opened it, opened all

491
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:03,399
Speaker 2: the windows in the apartment before walking into Sleeping Beauties.

492
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 2: She is a beast by the way room, she had

493
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 2: fallen asleep with a pizza in the oven, and now

494
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 2: the fire department, police and ambulance was on the spot.

495
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 2: The police took statements, and the firemen looked in the

496
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,639
Speaker 2: oven and made sure all the windows were open. Things

497
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:21,720
Speaker 2: went on till five am, and she had to take

498
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 2: the blame as it was her fault, or at least

499
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,280
Speaker 2: you took the blame. I was offered to be checked

500
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:29,200
Speaker 2: out by the ambulance personnel since I had inhaled a

501
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,680
Speaker 2: lot of scope and since I had inhaled a lot

502
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:35,280
Speaker 2: of smoke, but I declined, just wanted one more hours

503
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:37,359
Speaker 2: sleep before I had to leave for another day of work.

504
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:39,439
Speaker 2: I was told to go to the er if I

505
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 2: felt any discomfort throughout the day, as smoke damages can

506
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:46,680
Speaker 2: per Late. That evening, mid second shift, I started having

507
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:49,639
Speaker 2: problems breathing. Oh no, so I finished the show and

508
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:52,119
Speaker 2: my boss sent me off an hour early to go

509
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:55,040
Speaker 2: to the er. I was quickly put on oxygen not

510
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,879
Speaker 2: even five minutes after I arrived, and seen by a

511
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:01,560
Speaker 2: doctor two hours later. My throat was swollen from the smoke,

512
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:05,119
Speaker 2: but thankfully no lasting problems and just three weeks of

513
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:09,040
Speaker 2: breathing heavily no lifting. Remember I'm a lighting technician, heavy

514
00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 2: lifting a sixty part of my job. My bosses were

515
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:12,960
Speaker 2: really nice about it, and I got to take it

516
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 2: easy the next three weeks. Okay, that's good, that's good.

517
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:19,960
Speaker 2: After hours at work in the er, I came home

518
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:24,760
Speaker 2: to entitled flatmate. She demanded I pay half the fine

519
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:26,280
Speaker 2: she got from the fire department.

520
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,119
Speaker 4: That's your fall. You have a crappy roommate.

521
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean she could have unlive me, and now

522
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:37,080
Speaker 2: she's expecting me to pay six hundred dollars. We were close,

523
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 2: I exploded to all of you wanting and dreaming about

524
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:44,680
Speaker 2: going off on entitled person. It felt amazing. I went

525
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 2: on heavily worded anger spree and told her she could

526
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:54,120
Speaker 2: have had me unalived, she could have burned the whole

527
00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:57,800
Speaker 2: building down. She had my throat swollen, and she wanted

528
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:01,919
Speaker 2: me to pay six hundred dollars. Even after ranting on

529
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 2: how much more money that she made than me and

530
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 2: that I was basically trash for making so much less

531
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:10,679
Speaker 2: than her, I basically told her to punch off. She

532
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:13,440
Speaker 2: stood there like an idiot, not knowing what to say,

533
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 2: as I went to the bedroom to try to calm

534
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,440
Speaker 2: down and get some sleep. Well, So now two years later,

535
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 2: and I'm glad I bought my own place. I'm never

536
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:23,440
Speaker 2: having a flat mate again. She has tried to reach

537
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,480
Speaker 2: out to me during this time, and I've just ignored her.

538
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,919
Speaker 2: She isn't worth my time. Darn Teuton. I have so

539
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 2: many stories about this girl's entitled behavior since she got

540
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:33,400
Speaker 2: that new job. I believe you treat people the way

541
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 2: you want to be treated, regardless of their work situation.

542
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:38,439
Speaker 2: Just because you got a better paid job doesn't mean

543
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 2: you get to treat me like a cool guy. Just FYI.

544
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 2: I love my work. I love being creative and making

545
00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:48,960
Speaker 2: shows magical through lighting. I actually get to do my

546
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 2: passion for a living. So I back again with another

547
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,920
Speaker 2: story about my entitled ex flatmate. I'm now a twenty

548
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 2: nine year old woman who works as a lighting technician

549
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,240
Speaker 2: in Norway. At the time I lived with this girl,

550
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 2: six years older, I only had a fifty percent steady job.

551
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,240
Speaker 2: The rest was on and off and seasonal. Welcome to

552
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:08,000
Speaker 2: the hard lifestyle of a TV theater and event technician.

553
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:11,920
Speaker 2: My last post was the last straw for me, since

554
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,879
Speaker 2: she had done this before. But that time I came

555
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 2: home from work in time to stop the fire department

556
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:21,320
Speaker 2: from coming. I already answered some comments about leasing with

557
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,720
Speaker 2: her for three years. I know it's a long time.

558
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:27,680
Speaker 2: This was after we had already lived together as good

559
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,920
Speaker 2: friends for three years in another apartment. The only thing

560
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:32,439
Speaker 2: that changed was the fact that she got a new

561
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 2: job and suddenly became too important to talk to people

562
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:39,640
Speaker 2: like me commoners, as she could only talk to actors, filmmakers,

563
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:41,720
Speaker 2: and producers. She once told me that I was not

564
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:44,400
Speaker 2: allowed to go to a party for TV and theater

565
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:47,040
Speaker 2: workers because she might go, just I can't with her.

566
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 2: That's another story again.

567
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:49,520
Speaker 1: I hate that.

568
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 2: So the posturing is crazy. As said, we had a

569
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,000
Speaker 2: three year lease. It couldn't be broken with a three

570
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 2: month's notice. But we both were on the lease and

571
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 2: she didn't want to did almost the entire flat to herself.

572
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:04,600
Speaker 2: I stayed in my room yet paid half of everything.

573
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,120
Speaker 2: She had the living room almost all to herself. She

574
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 2: often chose to sleep there instead of her own room.

575
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:11,959
Speaker 2: When we got close to the end of release, I

576
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 2: tried to do the adult thing. I sat her down

577
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 2: to talk to her about my plans moving out, and

578
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:20,719
Speaker 2: I went something like this, me, I've been thinking about

579
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 2: what to do once our lease is up, and I'm

580
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 2: personally ready to buy my own place. My bank has

581
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 2: approved my lone application and entitle oled flatmate says, ohg cool,

582
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:31,960
Speaker 2: let's start looking at apartments. I will not live in

583
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 2: an old one. It needs to be new. And as

584
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:36,040
Speaker 2: she went on, I was shocked. She thought I would

585
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:41,640
Speaker 2: buy it for us or with her and me. I'm

586
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 2: looking for an apartment for me. Entitle flatmate says, oh,

587
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:47,239
Speaker 2: are you serious? You won't buy with me? What am

588
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 2: I supposed to do? Then you know what, It's fine.

589
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 2: I make so much more money than you, so you

590
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 2: will only be able to buy an old, crap one.

591
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 2: Mine will be so much better because I have standards

592
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:03,280
Speaker 2: me Good for you. I got up and walked away.

593
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 2: She was fuming since I didn't give her the answer

594
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,920
Speaker 2: or fight she wanted. By the way, you should give

595
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 2: us the answer that we want by listening to her

596
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 2: podcast that we release on every single day. And the

597
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 2: great thing about a podcast is you could just put

598
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 2: it in your ear holes and do other stuff. So

599
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:25,719
Speaker 2: a month later, I bought my first apartment. It's small

600
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:29,239
Speaker 2: and from the fifties, but it's mine. The payments go

601
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 2: to building my own future instead of throwing money at

602
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:36,440
Speaker 2: a landlord, which we don't like to do we like

603
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:38,200
Speaker 2: to build equity? Baby?

604
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:39,080
Speaker 1: True?

605
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 2: She happened to see some pictures of my apartment after

606
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 2: I bought it. She came to me and told me

607
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:46,880
Speaker 2: how ugly and old it was, that she was going

608
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:50,240
Speaker 2: to live so much better than me and me this

609
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 2: is what I say, Well, that's your choice. I hear

610
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 2: you're going to spend fifteen hundred dollars a month to

611
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 2: rent in high fashion apartment. That's literally throwing money out

612
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,880
Speaker 2: the windows. See you want to buy your own ace?

613
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 2: Oup FYI. My apartment might be sma old and small,

614
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,760
Speaker 2: but my total a month is one thousand dollars with

615
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:13,120
Speaker 2: everything included. Most of it goes into my property, which

616
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,480
Speaker 2: will only increase in value, has already gone up fifty

617
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:17,280
Speaker 2: k in one and a half years.

618
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,720
Speaker 1: Did you take that deal? I take that deal? Take

619
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 1: that deal? So damn good deal.

620
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 2: Damn good deal, my first time apartment, and once I'm

621
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 2: good and ready, I can sell it and buy a

622
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:32,840
Speaker 2: new one. That's called real estate investment. It's the smartest

623
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:35,719
Speaker 2: way of saving my opinion. Her face was priceless. She

624
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 2: looks shocked than mad and entitled. Flatmate said I'm going

625
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 2: to live better than you. I can help myself. I

626
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,000
Speaker 2: looked at her with a poker face and said the

627
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 2: words that angered her more than anything. Good for you indeed,

628
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,239
Speaker 2: and I walked away while her head looked like it

629
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:58,680
Speaker 2: was about to blow off. She is still renting that place,

630
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:01,080
Speaker 2: telling me about it in message I don't apply to

631
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:05,880
Speaker 2: And that is where that story ends. Hey, it's Sam.

632
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:07,640
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to these stories. But here's three

633
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:09,400
Speaker 2: of us of AADs from our sponsors that keep the

634
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 2: show alive.

635
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 3: I got kicked out mid wedding by the bride, and

636
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:17,520
Speaker 3: my boyfriend just watched.

637
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 1: I watched me break up with him.

638
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,080
Speaker 3: He won't be able to watch me break up with

639
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 3: him because I'm gonna do it at the speed of

640
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:27,400
Speaker 3: light today. My twenty four male partner and I twenty

641
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:30,680
Speaker 3: four female. Let's just call him Eric. We were invited

642
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:33,440
Speaker 3: to the wedding of one of his oldest friends from school.

643
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 3: We received our save the eight months ago and the

644
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 3: invite was addressed to Eric and VICKI. By the way,

645
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 3: this comes from user Victoriavichi and you can submit your

646
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 3: stories to the r slash Okay storytime subred. Our invite

647
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:49,600
Speaker 3: stated we were invited for the whole Shebang the service,

648
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 3: the breakfast and the evening reception. Our RSVP required both

649
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:56,800
Speaker 3: of our dietary requirements for the breakfast, which we replied

650
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 3: to ages ago. I thought this was pretty awesome and

651
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 3: generous of the bride and groom, as I had never

652
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 3: met either of them, and Eric was only close with

653
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 3: the bride, so it was a very nice gesture. The

654
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 3: wedding is a few hours away from where we live,

655
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,960
Speaker 3: and since neither of us drive, I booked train tickets

656
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:15,840
Speaker 3: in advance, which came to about sixty pounds each return,

657
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:20,320
Speaker 3: and an airbnb which worked out to ninety pounds between us.

658
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 3: We don't earn a lot, so this is quite a

659
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 3: big spend to justify. However, since they had invited us

660
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:27,360
Speaker 3: to the whole wedding, we thought it would be rude

661
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 3: not to go. The bride also specified colors we should wear,

662
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:33,000
Speaker 3: so I bought a new outfit since I didn't have

663
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 3: anything formal that would be suitable. Not the end of

664
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,160
Speaker 3: the world, but with Christmas coming up, it was a

665
00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 3: bit difficult and I had to be really frugal all

666
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:42,440
Speaker 3: through November to make it work. Total spend was probably

667
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:45,400
Speaker 3: double what I would spend monthly on fun stuff like

668
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:47,880
Speaker 3: going out for dinner or drinks or new clothes. We

669
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,280
Speaker 3: got to the service and it was beautiful. The bride

670
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:53,440
Speaker 3: looked lovely and it was very emotional. I get nervous

671
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:56,360
Speaker 3: at weddings. I couldn't say why, and so I had

672
00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 3: an eden beforehand, figuring the four course breakfast would fill

673
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 3: me up nicely. So after the ceremony we went straight

674
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:05,720
Speaker 3: into the venue to have drinks and sit down at tables.

675
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:08,000
Speaker 3: We were towards the back of the line into the venue,

676
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:11,240
Speaker 3: so half the congregation had already sat down. We glanced

677
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:14,239
Speaker 3: at the seating plan, saw Eric's name and headed over.

678
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 3: There was no place setting for me. Oh no, at

679
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:20,000
Speaker 3: the wedding you find this out.

680
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:21,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is ridiculous.

681
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:24,880
Speaker 3: Eric found his name, but there weren't any free seats

682
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,319
Speaker 3: at the table. Eric sat down and I asked an

683
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 3: usher whether there was a mistake. He didn't know, so

684
00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 3: he waved over the bride. She and I had never

685
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 3: met before, but she seemed friendly until she opened her mouth.

686
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:38,280
Speaker 3: Oh no, you're not part of the breakfast. The invitation

687
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 3: was just for the reception in service. You're welcome to

688
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:42,960
Speaker 3: come back later. This was in front of most of

689
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 3: the guests who had already sat down in a big venue,

690
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 3: probably one hundred and forty ish seats. The usher suggested

691
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:51,359
Speaker 3: I go to the pub. Eric didn't know what to do,

692
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,480
Speaker 3: but didn't want to cause a scene, so he stayed

693
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:56,960
Speaker 3: put and stayed quiet. I quite literally have never felt

694
00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:00,160
Speaker 3: so embarrassed and humiliated in my life. I left and

695
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:03,239
Speaker 3: it was raining heavily. Oh hadn't brought an umbrella since

696
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:05,960
Speaker 3: it was an indoor wedding and being in a rural place,

697
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:08,879
Speaker 3: I had to walk about twenty minutes to get anywhere else.

698
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 3: The usher had suggested a pub where quote the other

699
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 3: guests are so I just kept walking, but my shoes

700
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 3: were literally ruined and soaked through.

701
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:21,000
Speaker 1: I'm just picturing poorop just like drenched, looking all sad.

702
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:22,560
Speaker 1: This is devastating.

703
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:26,400
Speaker 3: This is like want basics one oh one, Like I

704
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:30,720
Speaker 3: would go with your partner when they are like rudely

705
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 3: excluded from the wedding. Uh you go, oh, all right,

706
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 3: we'll come back later.

707
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:36,359
Speaker 1: I'll go with you. Yeah.

708
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:38,960
Speaker 3: Not only were my shoes soaked through, but it was

709
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 3: also pretty damn cold because it's December and I was

710
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:44,000
Speaker 3: dressed for a wedding. Got to the pub to find

711
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,920
Speaker 3: a handful of merrymakers drinking heavily at two pm in

712
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 3: wedding clothes. Introduced myself kind of awkwardly, as they were

713
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 3: total strangers and they were luckily really nice. They invited

714
00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:55,600
Speaker 3: me to sit with them and tell them about the service.

715
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 3: All of them had only been invited to the reception.

716
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:00,800
Speaker 3: I ask one of them if i'd see their invite,

717
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:03,480
Speaker 3: and it was crystal clear that they were evening guests.

718
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:05,800
Speaker 3: There was no mention of the service, or the breakfast,

719
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:09,319
Speaker 3: nor their dietary requirements. I apparently was the only person

720
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:13,080
Speaker 3: who was invited and then uninvited to the whole shebang.

721
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:15,600
Speaker 3: I sat with them and had some food because I

722
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:18,520
Speaker 3: was starving, but they all started leaving to get ready

723
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 3: at about four pm. Being a total stranger, I didn't

724
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 3: think it best to ask to come with them. But

725
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:26,000
Speaker 3: I had never been to this town before, and besides Eric,

726
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:30,040
Speaker 3: I didn't know anybody. Since being ejected at one thirty pmish,

727
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:33,360
Speaker 3: I was expected to just hang out until seven thirty

728
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 3: when the reception started.

729
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:38,960
Speaker 1: That's crazy, that's insane, I would go, You're supposed to

730
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:42,920
Speaker 1: hang out at a pub for hours, that's ril. I doubt,

731
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,360
Speaker 1: no one, and nothing like a book. Yeah. No, so

732
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:46,000
Speaker 1: I left.

733
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:49,520
Speaker 3: I feel so unwelcome and so unwanted that I just

734
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:51,880
Speaker 3: wanted to go home. The evening will start in about

735
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:54,279
Speaker 3: half an hour without me, but I just can't bring

736
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:57,319
Speaker 3: myself to attend, knowing that half the guests watch me

737
00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 3: being asked to leave by the bride herself. Traded in

738
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:03,080
Speaker 3: my train ticket, which was a return for tomorrow, and

739
00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:06,680
Speaker 3: I'll be traveling back alone. Immediately, I texted Eric to

740
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:08,799
Speaker 3: tell him, but he didn't respond. I've been holding back

741
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:11,239
Speaker 3: tears since I was ejected six hours ago, and I

742
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:14,600
Speaker 3: feel completely torn. I don't understand what happened with the invite,

743
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:16,759
Speaker 3: whether it was a mistake or whether I was just

744
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:19,439
Speaker 3: supposed to know it was only for Eric, despite being

745
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 3: addressed to both of us, despite asking for both of

746
00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:27,279
Speaker 3: our dietary requirements, despite explicitly stating we were invited to

747
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:28,480
Speaker 3: the whole wedding.

748
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 1: I don't know. That's so confusing, because my immediate thought

749
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:35,720
Speaker 1: would be yet it was probably some sort of miscommunication.

750
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:39,120
Speaker 1: But even if that were true, this is unacceptable. It's

751
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:42,000
Speaker 1: unacceptable to kick someone out and make them wait hours.

752
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 1: That's crazy. Just say like oh, I'm so so like

753
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 1: we don't have enough food, but like you're welcome to stay,

754
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:49,279
Speaker 1: and like we'll try and figure something out. But to

755
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:51,839
Speaker 1: kick them out is insane. But also it doesn't seem

756
00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:54,080
Speaker 1: like it was a miscommunication. Part of me feels like

757
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:56,279
Speaker 1: I should have gone to the evening reception too, But

758
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 1: I'm soaked through. My hair and makeup look awful, my

759
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:01,640
Speaker 1: shoes are unw arable. I am now barefoot on a

760
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 1: really gross floor and I'm freezing. I look a mass

761
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:06,520
Speaker 1: and I feel so stupid. Did I mess up here?

762
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:09,040
Speaker 3: I feel like I've just been totally effed over, And

763
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:11,440
Speaker 3: I'm really upset that Eric didn't stand up for me

764
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:14,359
Speaker 3: or anything and leave the breakfast with me, although I

765
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:17,120
Speaker 3: think that's less because of malice and more that he's

766
00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:19,200
Speaker 3: just a bit hopeless when put on the spot. I've

767
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:21,240
Speaker 3: never heard of a wedding where you invite a plus

768
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:23,879
Speaker 3: one by name, but then they aren't invited to as

769
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:27,200
Speaker 3: much of the wedding as the other half of the couple. Yeah,

770
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:30,240
Speaker 3: that doesn't seem like a thing that ever happens. Nobody

771
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 3: else at the wedding had this happen. I don't see

772
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:35,480
Speaker 3: how it can be personal, since I've never met any

773
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:37,880
Speaker 3: of them before. I'm really upset and can't wrap my

774
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:40,880
Speaker 3: head around how weird today has been. If this happened

775
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:43,719
Speaker 3: to you, what would you do? There is an edit

776
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:45,839
Speaker 3: thank you to everyone for your words of support. It's

777
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 3: really helped, and I've gone from a wobbly, wet mess

778
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:52,880
Speaker 3: to a cackling hobby with my big glass of wine.

779
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:55,320
Speaker 1: Is he's still at the pub? I don't know, maybe

780
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:57,960
Speaker 1: just like sitting in the pup, just like, oh lord,

781
00:38:58,080 --> 00:38:59,319
Speaker 1: I was having a terrible day.

782
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:02,600
Speaker 3: He has, really, I really hope so I can see

783
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:05,439
Speaker 3: that in my head. I hope this's just been reading

784
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:08,320
Speaker 3: Reddit at the public. Oh what a wonderful idea?

785
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:12,200
Speaker 1: Does charge keep? But I'll take your largest class of

786
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 1: please last five hours?

787
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:18,319
Speaker 3: Please you guys don't hold back on your opinions, and

788
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:21,239
Speaker 3: I kind of love it. It's now nearly bedtime here.

789
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:24,040
Speaker 3: Eric stayed at the party and is presumably still there.

790
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:26,480
Speaker 3: I came home and feel a lot better for knowing

791
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 3: how a crappy situation this was. Parma's a b and

792
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 3: when they go low, we go high. So I'm going

793
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:34,680
Speaker 3: to go to bed and sleep on it and think

794
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:36,520
Speaker 3: about the next steps in the morning. A lot of

795
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 3: people think I should dump Eric, whereas that had never

796
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 3: crossed my mind. I was mostly pissed off with the

797
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:43,399
Speaker 3: bride in the maid of honor, who may have been

798
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:44,080
Speaker 3: involved too.

799
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:45,040
Speaker 1: I don't know.

800
00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:48,479
Speaker 3: Eric will be coming home sometime tomorrow and we're going

801
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,919
Speaker 3: to talk. I want to hear his peace, because he's

802
00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:53,719
Speaker 3: been thinking since lunchtime. He might just be a dumb

803
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 3: dumb rather than a full blown a hole. Either way,

804
00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 3: no wind up, sudden decisions right now. I will try

805
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 3: and come back and update as and win anything else happens.

806
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:06,560
Speaker 3: Thanks to everyone, we do have some relevant comments. Plain

807
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 3: Truthiness says The person who messed up was the bride,

808
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:12,400
Speaker 3: who is an utter word I don't use, but she is,

809
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:16,040
Speaker 3: and Eric, who is appalling. I absolutely cannot believe that

810
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 3: he didn't walk out with you. What thatck was he thinking?

811
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:21,880
Speaker 3: Did he use to date the bride or the bride's sister?

812
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:23,239
Speaker 3: Oh p says.

813
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 1: Funny you say that the Maid of honor is his

814
00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:27,799
Speaker 1: ex I suck you'd call it.

815
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 3: Although we were not aware until we saw her name

816
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:32,839
Speaker 3: in the wedding booklet at the ceremony that she would

817
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:35,320
Speaker 3: even be there. However, there's a lot of bad blood

818
00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 3: between them. If she was going to intervene to remove anybody,

819
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 3: it would have been him.

820
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 1: And we do have an update after that.

821
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 3: But would the galaxy brained move actually be to exclude

822
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:48,759
Speaker 3: your ex's new partner so that they get upset when

823
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,080
Speaker 3: you you also know that your ex is a sucker

824
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:52,400
Speaker 3: for a four course breakfast?

825
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:52,840
Speaker 1: Agreed?

826
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:55,920
Speaker 3: Basically, I went to a wedding of my boyfriend's oldest

827
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:58,360
Speaker 3: friend from school and got uninvited from the wedding breakfast

828
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:01,400
Speaker 3: as it was starting. My boyfriend stayed at the wedding.

829
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 3: I hadn't expected this big reaction to my first post

830
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,239
Speaker 3: and just wanted to say thanks to everyone who gave

831
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:09,160
Speaker 3: advice and was supportive. I was feeling super crappy when

832
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:12,799
Speaker 3: I initially posted, and after an hour of and reading

833
00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:15,239
Speaker 3: your comments, I felt a lot more sane and call.

834
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:17,400
Speaker 3: I wanted to clarify a few things that people were

835
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:19,760
Speaker 3: confused about or that weren't clear in my first post.

836
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 3: I'm in the UK and our weddings are different to

837
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 3: the way weddings are held in the US. Traditionally, there's

838
00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:28,200
Speaker 3: a ceremony, the wedding breakfast, which is a sit down

839
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:31,080
Speaker 3: three coals meal. Although it's called breakfast, it's usually in

840
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:35,000
Speaker 3: the afternoon, followed by speeches and then an evening.

841
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:36,440
Speaker 1: Reception, which is like a disco.

842
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:39,600
Speaker 3: It's not uncommon for people to invite only relatives and

843
00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 3: close friends to the ceremony and breakfast, then invite lots

844
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 3: of evening guests for the reception. However, it is uncommon

845
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 3: to invite somebody to the ceremony and reception but not

846
00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:53,520
Speaker 3: the breakfast, as then they are kind of left to

847
00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:57,640
Speaker 3: entertain themselves somewhere for six hours. Having talked to friends

848
00:41:57,640 --> 00:42:00,120
Speaker 3: and coworkers since last weekend, what happened to me? He

849
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:02,719
Speaker 3: was a serious no no in terms of etiquette. Me

850
00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 3: and Eric have been together for nearly a year and

851
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:06,800
Speaker 3: a half. We lived together and we have a pretty

852
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:10,600
Speaker 3: strong relationship. He has no past romantic connections with the bride,

853
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:13,320
Speaker 3: who I'll call Marie, which some people were asking about.

854
00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:15,680
Speaker 3: They went to school together from ages four to ten

855
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:18,480
Speaker 3: and remained in touch his pen pals and Facebook friends

856
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 3: since then. They rarely see each other in person, and

857
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:23,440
Speaker 3: the wedding was the first time he would see her

858
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:26,239
Speaker 3: in about two years. There was zero phone signal at

859
00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:28,920
Speaker 3: the venue. We noticed this when we arrived for the ceremony,

860
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:31,319
Speaker 3: and we're a little annoyed as the wedding had a

861
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 3: hashtag which we couldn't exactly tweet about with no signal,

862
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:36,560
Speaker 3: which is gonna be important later. We didn't know this

863
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:40,040
Speaker 3: until we arrived at the wedding, but the maid of honor, Helen,

864
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:43,640
Speaker 3: was Eric's ex girlfriend. They were together for three years

865
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:49,160
Speaker 3: and she cheated on him and dumped him. Oo, so

866
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:50,920
Speaker 3: they have a lot of bad blood and do not

867
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:52,279
Speaker 3: have any contact with each other.

868
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:53,160
Speaker 1: Go onto the update.

869
00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 3: After leaving the ceremony, I got straight on the train

870
00:42:55,719 --> 00:42:57,799
Speaker 3: and went back to my hometown. I was on the

871
00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:00,240
Speaker 3: train when I wrote my first post. And I got home.

872
00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:03,440
Speaker 3: I told my parents everything and they weren't particularly impressed,

873
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:06,440
Speaker 3: and like most of the posters here, they were perplexed

874
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:07,280
Speaker 3: that Eric.

875
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:07,960
Speaker 1: Hadn't come with me.

876
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:10,880
Speaker 3: My mom gave me a big hug, ran me a bath,

877
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:12,600
Speaker 3: and poured me a glass of wine, and I just

878
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:15,400
Speaker 3: tried to relax and forget about my day from the

879
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:18,759
Speaker 3: bad place. I hadn't heard from Eric, but texted him

880
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:20,759
Speaker 3: to let him know I was home safe and would

881
00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:24,280
Speaker 3: see him tomorrow. Eric texted me back at about nine pm, oh,

882
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:27,319
Speaker 3: asking me what I meant by home ooh, home or

883
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:30,080
Speaker 3: the Airbnb that we had booked nearby to the venue.

884
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:34,200
Speaker 1: I clarified and he said, okay, I'll see you tomorrow.

885
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:38,839
Speaker 3: Love you so much XO XO gossip girl. I didn't

886
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:40,479
Speaker 3: really know what to make of it, since the whole

887
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:42,759
Speaker 3: day had just been such a massive f up, so

888
00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:46,040
Speaker 3: I finished my watched a Disney movie, and went to bed.

889
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 3: The next morning, given I still hadn't really heard from

890
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 3: Eric at all, I assumed he'd be getting in at

891
00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 3: about mid day, so I got up early and started

892
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:56,279
Speaker 3: wrapping Christmas presents. At eight am, I heard a key

893
00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:58,839
Speaker 3: in the door, and what do you know, it's Eric,

894
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:01,880
Speaker 3: still in his crew least suit with red eyes, looking

895
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,799
Speaker 3: like he wasn't really making sense. So I made him

896
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:07,280
Speaker 3: have a shower and warm up, made coffee, and decided

897
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:09,560
Speaker 3: to talk once he was looking human again. He sat

898
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 3: down together and pieced together his side of the story. Basically,

899
00:44:12,719 --> 00:44:16,480
Speaker 3: once I had left, Eric was absolutely livid with Marie.

900
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:18,680
Speaker 3: He had frozen like a deer in headlights when she

901
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:20,880
Speaker 3: was asking me to go, and was kicking himself that

902
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 3: he hadn't done the right thing about ten minutes after

903
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:25,640
Speaker 3: I left, Marie turned around and said, oh, actually a

904
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:27,879
Speaker 3: few people haven't turned up. Get Vicky to come back.

905
00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:30,080
Speaker 3: We have space for her now. And Eric had tried

906
00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:32,520
Speaker 3: to call me because there was no phone signal anywhere

907
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:34,960
Speaker 3: near the venue, he couldn't get through, and Marie pretty

908
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 3: much immediately said, oh, well, never mind, she didn't want

909
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:40,360
Speaker 3: to be here anyway, which obviously was a pilot crap

910
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:43,840
Speaker 3: and made Eric feel rubbish. The meal was a very formal,

911
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 3: sit down affair, so he just kind of grinned and

912
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:48,720
Speaker 3: bared it, assuming I would be coming back in the evening.

913
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:49,160
Speaker 1: No.

914
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:52,359
Speaker 3: No, No, that's WoT I'm that's when you leave as Eric.

915
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 3: As Eric, that's when you leave. Eric was the only

916
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 3: person mentioned in the speeches by Marie's father who wasn't

917
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:02,120
Speaker 3: a family member, and apparently it was clear to everyone

918
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:05,000
Speaker 3: how disappointed he was that I wasn't there to share

919
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:07,080
Speaker 3: it with him. When I texted him at about six

920
00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:09,120
Speaker 3: pm to let him know I was going home.

921
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 1: He never received it.

922
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:11,959
Speaker 3: He was only able to text me at nine pm

923
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,520
Speaker 3: by hiking down the road for five minutes to find

924
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:18,440
Speaker 3: a signal, all the while his ex Helen was being

925
00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 3: sickly sweet.

926
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:20,840
Speaker 1: I hate Helen.

927
00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:25,360
Speaker 3: Helen is the worst, asking where I was, Why didn't

928
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:27,920
Speaker 3: I want to come and enjoy the party? Why was

929
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:31,800
Speaker 3: I shy? Apparently with quite the evil glint in her eye,

930
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:34,840
Speaker 3: like she had gotten exactly what she wanted. Neither of

931
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:37,000
Speaker 3: us knew she was the maid of honor until we

932
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 3: got there, and given their bad relationship, Eric was pretty

933
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:42,799
Speaker 3: pissed off that Marie had failed to mention she had

934
00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 3: such a prominent role in the wedding. Whether Helen was

935
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 3: behind the seating error, I don't know, but if she was,

936
00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:52,920
Speaker 3: then Marie was just as bad in enabling it to happen.

937
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:55,719
Speaker 3: So Eric stayed at the wedding miserably and went back

938
00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:59,440
Speaker 3: to the Airbnb afterwards alone. He barely slept, feeling angry

939
00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:01,759
Speaker 3: at Marie and Helen for effing with us, and it

940
00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 3: himself for not sticking up for me, and left at

941
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:06,759
Speaker 3: four thirty am to get the first train home. Hence

942
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 3: why he was back at our place so early. He

943
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:11,879
Speaker 3: wasn't really apologetic to me at all. He didn't really

944
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:13,640
Speaker 3: seem to see how it was crappy for me.

945
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:16,080
Speaker 1: No, he thinks that him going yeah, I felt really

946
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:19,239
Speaker 1: bad is enough he thinks that is an apology, and

947
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 1: it's not. Yeah, it's really it's compacting. I don't care

948
00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:24,479
Speaker 1: how bad you felt I was soaked in the rain

949
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:27,360
Speaker 1: and banished from a wedding for no reason exactly.

950
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:30,600
Speaker 3: He more felt like he had been insulted by the

951
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:34,080
Speaker 3: situation and let down by his oldest friend. He's cutting

952
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:36,120
Speaker 3: off Marie and doesn't want anything.

953
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:36,640
Speaker 1: Else to do with her.

954
00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:39,319
Speaker 3: So, yeah, that was Eric's take on the whole thing.

955
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:41,879
Speaker 3: To be honest, I was pretty pissed that in all

956
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:44,960
Speaker 3: of this he hadn't really considered how I felt or

957
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:47,239
Speaker 3: what it had been like for me getting thrown out

958
00:46:47,239 --> 00:46:49,239
Speaker 3: of the wedding. While what he had gone through was

959
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:52,239
Speaker 3: pretty crummy, he at least had been warm, dry and

960
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:56,319
Speaker 3: well fed. The indignation of your girlfriend being removed from

961
00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:59,839
Speaker 3: an event while you're there isn't really as bad as

962
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:04,680
Speaker 3: being the girlfriend getting soaked in the rain feeling humiliated

963
00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 3: in all the rest. So we talked and I laid

964
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,319
Speaker 3: out why I wasn't okay with what had happened and

965
00:47:10,400 --> 00:47:12,839
Speaker 3: why his reaction wasn't okay. He can be a bit

966
00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:15,360
Speaker 3: of a lemon sometimes, and this feels like one of

967
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 3: those times. He didn't step up to the plate. He

968
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:20,799
Speaker 3: just let the world wash over him and acted as

969
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:23,560
Speaker 3: a bystander. I'm still hurt by his actions, and he

970
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:26,719
Speaker 3: still hasn't really apologized properly. I don't know if he

971
00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:29,600
Speaker 3: understands that he did wrong too, But this isn't a

972
00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:32,160
Speaker 3: deal breaker for me. It's a heavy straw on the

973
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:35,640
Speaker 3: camel's back, but the camel is still standing.

974
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:36,880
Speaker 1: That camel's strong.

975
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:39,600
Speaker 3: We have a really lovely Christmas coming up, and after

976
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:42,640
Speaker 3: a really long autumn of working hard, all I want

977
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:44,600
Speaker 3: is to go back to the happy place we were

978
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:47,560
Speaker 3: before this messed up, and honestly, I don't want to

979
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:49,520
Speaker 3: think about it. So I know a lot of you

980
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:51,800
Speaker 3: guys are going to drag me over hot coals for

981
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 3: this one, but we're still together.

982
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:54,680
Speaker 1: By the way.

983
00:47:54,719 --> 00:47:56,680
Speaker 3: I'm going to tell all of you to do something

984
00:47:56,800 --> 00:48:01,200
Speaker 3: anything right now, which is that go listen full epes.

985
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:02,960
Speaker 1: With stories like this. That's what you can go do.

986
00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:04,640
Speaker 3: And you can go do it and have the a

987
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:09,279
Speaker 3: Spotify on Apple podcasts just search Okay Storytime and there

988
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:13,080
Speaker 3: you will find an infinite number of episodes. I Am

989
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:15,840
Speaker 3: not going to break up with him over this, but

990
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:19,440
Speaker 3: it's a big dark mass on his record, almost like

991
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:22,360
Speaker 3: some sort of black omen As far as I'm concerned,

992
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:24,080
Speaker 3: he needs to get a lot of extra credit to

993
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 3: get a pass this year to use a terrible analogy,

994
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:28,879
Speaker 3: and I expect him to step up and really try

995
00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:31,560
Speaker 3: to do better from now on. It's not really an ultimatum,

996
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:33,440
Speaker 3: but I'm willing to put this behind us if he

997
00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:36,160
Speaker 3: can prove to me that he's invested and trying harder

998
00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:38,400
Speaker 3: in this relationship from now on. If he doesn't, then

999
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:40,399
Speaker 3: I won't be sticking around. I love him a lot,

1000
00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:42,480
Speaker 3: but he needs to have my back and be empathetic

1001
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:45,000
Speaker 3: to what I'm going through. I'm sorry that this wasn't

1002
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:48,000
Speaker 3: the victorious breakup update so many of you wanted, but

1003
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,800
Speaker 3: I want a nice, happy Christmas together.

1004
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:53,520
Speaker 1: God dang it, that's what I want. Happy Christmas. I

1005
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:55,920
Speaker 1: know you want breakup. I want happy Christmas.

1006
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,560
Speaker 3: I'm not ruling it out as an option if things

1007
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:01,279
Speaker 3: don't improve, but I want to give him another chance

1008
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:03,960
Speaker 3: to prove this relationship is worth it. And here's a

1009
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:07,200
Speaker 3: top comment from throw the Switch. Things to think about.

1010
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:09,719
Speaker 3: If Marie said only ten minutes after you left that

1011
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:12,840
Speaker 3: you could stay, why didn't he come and physically find you.

1012
00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 3: After his call didn't go through.

1013
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:14,799
Speaker 1: Why didn't he.

1014
00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:17,440
Speaker 3: Try and find signal to call you again? Only five

1015
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 3: minutes away until it was nine pm?

1016
00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:21,520
Speaker 1: My questions, my questions.

1017
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 3: Precisely, it does seem like he really fumbled.

1018
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:27,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, he didn't even fumble. He threw that ball on

1019
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:30,160
Speaker 1: the floor and went, oh no, it fell, and then

1020
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:31,239
Speaker 1: you watched it roll.

1021
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:33,920
Speaker 3: Another comment from it's all mine now. So I know

1022
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:35,399
Speaker 3: a lot of you guys are gonna drag me over

1023
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 3: hot coals, but we're still together. Yeah, that's the important thing.

1024
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:41,760
Speaker 3: You haven't lost him. As for dragging you over coals,

1025
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:44,000
Speaker 3: You're going to be the one to live with this selfish,

1026
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:47,279
Speaker 3: conceited carpet. So really, there's nothing more I can add

1027
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 3: that would push the point home more than some more

1028
00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:51,759
Speaker 3: occasions where he just dumps you at the side of

1029
00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:54,399
Speaker 3: the road because he's offended by how they disrespected him

1030
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 3: by treating you badly. Throw the Switch's comment makes a

1031
00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:59,040
Speaker 3: good point. He didn't even try to catch you up,

1032
00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:01,600
Speaker 3: go down the road to contact you, or even leave

1033
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:03,880
Speaker 3: in disgust, because all he could think about was his

1034
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:06,560
Speaker 3: own hurt feelings. You've got a great life coming, oh,

1035
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:08,919
Speaker 3: he says, I have a set deadline in my head

1036
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:11,479
Speaker 3: where I need to see significant improvement in a few

1037
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:13,880
Speaker 3: areas of the relationship, which I have told him is

1038
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:16,400
Speaker 3: important if you want just to stay together, And if.

1039
00:50:16,239 --> 00:50:18,160
Speaker 1: That doesn't happen, I'm gone.

1040
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:20,360
Speaker 3: This is good. If he messes up big time before

1041
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:22,520
Speaker 3: then I'm gone. Just giving him one last chance to

1042
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:25,560
Speaker 3: pull himself up by his bootstraps and prove it's worth

1043
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:26,239
Speaker 3: staying for.

1044
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:28,480
Speaker 1: I think they're staying together a bit like with a

1045
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:30,640
Speaker 1: lot of like you are on probation.

1046
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:34,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, thin ice type scenario. That is the end of

1047
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:35,920
Speaker 3: that story for us.

1048
00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:38,120
Speaker 1: Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to the stories.

1049
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:40,120
Speaker 2: Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors

1050
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:41,040
Speaker 2: that keep the show going.

1051
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:44,520
Speaker 1: I made a list of people I won't invite to

1052
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:47,839
Speaker 1: my wedding because they didn't invite me to theirs. A

1053
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:51,280
Speaker 1: little eye for an eye action, a little Hamma, Robbie's Code.

1054
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:54,240
Speaker 1: I put Wood in the title because it hasn't happened

1055
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:56,359
Speaker 1: or been an issue yet, because I have been moving

1056
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:58,759
Speaker 1: in the shadows and only a few people know. Oh,

1057
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:01,759
Speaker 1: he's like, so I I haven't had my wedding yet,

1058
00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:05,640
Speaker 1: nor been engaged, but I have a little death note

1059
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:08,320
Speaker 1: list of all the people that won't be invited.

1060
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:12,680
Speaker 3: I have been the moving within the shadows.

1061
00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:13,840
Speaker 1: So it's a perfect time to see if this is

1062
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:16,759
Speaker 1: just a mee thing. Let's get started, shall we. By

1063
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:19,719
Speaker 1: the way, this comes from Any Advance eighty two fifteen

1064
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:21,680
Speaker 1: and if you want to submit your story, go to

1065
00:51:21,719 --> 00:51:24,040
Speaker 1: Okay Storytime. Separate it. I am a twenty two year

1066
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:27,720
Speaker 1: old female who always had a rather large and confusing family.

1067
00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:31,200
Speaker 1: My fiance and father of my child is twenty six

1068
00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:34,400
Speaker 1: and he is socially awkward and has an extremely small

1069
00:51:34,480 --> 00:51:37,920
Speaker 1: family that has very few events in the year. Now

1070
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:41,560
Speaker 1: for the juice, I have this giant family with multiple

1071
00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:45,240
Speaker 1: newly weds. I still have never been invited to a wedding,

1072
00:51:45,719 --> 00:51:48,080
Speaker 1: not one time. From the time I was eighteen until

1073
00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:50,280
Speaker 1: about twenty there have been a few, and I really

1074
00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:52,520
Speaker 1: didn't think about these too much. I was hurt, but

1075
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:55,600
Speaker 1: figured it was due to not being old enough to drink. However,

1076
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:59,120
Speaker 1: when I turned twenty one, I still was not invited

1077
00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:01,960
Speaker 1: to weddings. I turned to self reflection and thought I

1078
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:03,759
Speaker 1: was the problem. Dang is it?

1079
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:04,000
Speaker 2: Me?

1080
00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:06,279
Speaker 3: Am I unwedding invitable?

1081
00:52:06,640 --> 00:52:09,480
Speaker 1: But I couldn't pin it to anything, as the last

1082
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:11,279
Speaker 1: time I was at a family party that wasn't the

1083
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:14,399
Speaker 1: yearly reunion, I was maybe fourteen years old. We live

1084
00:52:14,760 --> 00:52:17,920
Speaker 1: three hours away from the rest of my family. I

1085
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:20,080
Speaker 1: live with my parents and they get invited to these

1086
00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:22,680
Speaker 1: events and I am active on Facebook with them. The

1087
00:52:22,760 --> 00:52:25,360
Speaker 1: straw that broke the camel's back was my cousin Rob

1088
00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 1: getting married when I was little. Rob was one of

1089
00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:29,920
Speaker 1: my closest cousins, as though we have a bit of

1090
00:52:29,960 --> 00:52:32,200
Speaker 1: an age gap. He was sweet and kind to me,

1091
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:34,560
Speaker 1: and he saved me from drowning at the beach, so

1092
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:37,000
Speaker 1: he was like my hero and I always loved bringing

1093
00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:39,400
Speaker 1: it up. Rob was getting married to Alexa, and my

1094
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:43,160
Speaker 1: parents got an invite specifically stating both of their names

1095
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:47,120
Speaker 1: without a plus one or a children or anything, meaning

1096
00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:51,120
Speaker 1: I wasn't invited. I was heartbroken. I felt so strange

1097
00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:53,840
Speaker 1: about it and had what did I do? Attitude. The

1098
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:57,239
Speaker 1: aftermath of the wedding was messy in drama, and I

1099
00:52:57,280 --> 00:53:00,480
Speaker 1: gained a clearer picture of what actually happened. Remember I

1100
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:03,520
Speaker 1: said my family was confusing. That's because Rob is the

1101
00:53:03,520 --> 00:53:08,240
Speaker 1: son to my mother's oldest cousin and my father's youngest aunt. Mmm,

1102
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:11,840
Speaker 1: don't worry, they aren't related and they met naturally about

1103
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:14,359
Speaker 1: a decade after the wedding. Due to this, I am

1104
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:17,160
Speaker 1: the only cousin he has on both sides of the family,

1105
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:20,480
Speaker 1: and this means that both sides of my family were invited.

1106
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:23,479
Speaker 1: Turns out I was literally the only cousin that wasn't

1107
00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:26,239
Speaker 1: invited on both my mom and dad's side. So you

1108
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:28,799
Speaker 1: had two chances to be invited to this wedding. You

1109
00:53:28,840 --> 00:53:32,719
Speaker 1: were on both sides, you're related to both sides, and

1110
00:53:32,760 --> 00:53:33,560
Speaker 1: they did invite you.

1111
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:36,120
Speaker 3: Does Opie have the thing where it's like people forget

1112
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:38,160
Speaker 3: you exist as soon as you stop looking at.

1113
00:53:38,120 --> 00:53:40,839
Speaker 1: That's what I had, the exact exact same thought.

1114
00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:44,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, like, no joke exactly, just like this is as

1115
00:53:44,239 --> 00:53:47,160
Speaker 3: soon as you're remember the vision, they're like, that person

1116
00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:48,240
Speaker 3: doesn't exist anymore.

1117
00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 1: Oh it's you. I haven't seen you in so long.

1118
00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:53,120
Speaker 3: Oh, my n they're gone and they're gone forever, like

1119
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:53,760
Speaker 3: the silence.

1120
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:58,080
Speaker 1: Oh and it's back, it's gone. Major WTF. And what's

1121
00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:00,880
Speaker 1: even stranger is that no one except my grandmother's sister,

1122
00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:04,800
Speaker 1: Rob's grandmother and my aunt Mary and his parents knew

1123
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:08,080
Speaker 1: that Rob and Alexa were purposely leaving out family, saying

1124
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:10,680
Speaker 1: it was their day. Rob also left out most of

1125
00:54:10,719 --> 00:54:14,919
Speaker 1: his grandfather Bob, aunt Mary's husband family, inviting maybe two

1126
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:17,080
Speaker 1: out of all of them. My Aunt Mary and my

1127
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:19,880
Speaker 1: uncle Bobby were offering to pay for extra spots like

1128
00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:23,080
Speaker 1: me and a few of Uncle Bob's relatives. Even Rob's

1129
00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:25,600
Speaker 1: mother and father we weighed in on cutting off a

1130
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:28,960
Speaker 1: few people while the wedding was literally huge. Both sides

1131
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:31,799
Speaker 1: of my family are easily seventy five plus side, and

1132
00:54:31,840 --> 00:54:34,920
Speaker 1: that's not even Alexi's family. Rob insisted that it's what

1133
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:37,720
Speaker 1: they wanted and no one even if they were paying

1134
00:54:37,760 --> 00:54:40,799
Speaker 1: for things as a say, and that's honestly fair. It's

1135
00:54:40,880 --> 00:54:43,200
Speaker 1: their day, and I really just wanted them to be happy,

1136
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:46,279
Speaker 1: so I didn't tell anyone how I felt. Sounds like

1137
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:48,160
Speaker 1: it's not you though, it sounds like it's them. Yeah,

1138
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:50,879
Speaker 1: it sounds like a not it's clearly not a you thing.

1139
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:55,000
Speaker 1: Until my Aunt Mary spilled all the beans to my grandmother.

1140
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:58,279
Speaker 1: She admitted to knowing and Rob refusing her offer, and

1141
00:54:58,320 --> 00:55:00,839
Speaker 1: that she just held her tongue. After that, she told

1142
00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:03,480
Speaker 1: my grandmother that she suspected that it really was just

1143
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:07,200
Speaker 1: Rob pleasing his wife and her being the actual Bridezilla.

1144
00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:09,480
Speaker 1: They rejected a few plus ones due to the plus

1145
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:13,080
Speaker 1: ones being new significant others. People ended up not going

1146
00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:15,440
Speaker 1: because of the fact that they couldn't bring their dates,

1147
00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:16,560
Speaker 1: like who does that?

1148
00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:19,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh, your significant others too new.

1149
00:55:19,719 --> 00:55:20,600
Speaker 1: They can't come.

1150
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:22,719
Speaker 3: We need we need a significant other with a little

1151
00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:25,720
Speaker 3: more patina on it, a little more what's the resume?

1152
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:29,480
Speaker 1: Like rougher around the edges. When my grandmother brought up

1153
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:32,480
Speaker 1: me the only person on both sides, my aunt couldn't

1154
00:55:32,480 --> 00:55:35,240
Speaker 1: put her finger on anything except the fact that Alexa

1155
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:38,040
Speaker 1: joined my father's side of the family mean girl Click,

1156
00:55:38,239 --> 00:55:41,319
Speaker 1: which included very salty and Braddy cousin that was the

1157
00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:44,560
Speaker 1: sister Rob. All of my family can verify the adjectives

1158
00:55:44,719 --> 00:55:47,960
Speaker 1: used to describe her, and this group repeatedly has openly

1159
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:50,560
Speaker 1: ignored me and been rude since I could remember. It

1160
00:55:50,840 --> 00:55:54,520
Speaker 1: hit me that they really have had time to discuss me,

1161
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:57,160
Speaker 1: as the last occasions I have been to was a

1162
00:55:57,280 --> 00:56:00,200
Speaker 1: funeral and the yearly family reunions. I don't know what

1163
00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:02,759
Speaker 1: the deal is, but after this I went on a

1164
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:05,840
Speaker 1: factory reset and made a rule, don't invite me to

1165
00:56:05,920 --> 00:56:09,000
Speaker 1: your wedding. I ain't inviting you to mine. That's a

1166
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:11,560
Speaker 1: fair rule. That's a fair rule. Fair rules.

1167
00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:15,439
Speaker 3: I bye for an eye I or a no no

1168
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:17,920
Speaker 3: wedding or a no wedding.

1169
00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:21,880
Speaker 1: After his wedding, more weddings happened and same thing. No

1170
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:24,600
Speaker 1: invite for me, but my parents and grandparents are invited.

1171
00:56:24,640 --> 00:56:26,200
Speaker 1: What is going on? I'm so confused.

1172
00:56:26,320 --> 00:56:28,520
Speaker 3: I am Also, there's like a lot of different like

1173
00:56:28,800 --> 00:56:34,440
Speaker 3: cousin and grandparent parent, yes, no, maybe so no invites

1174
00:56:34,440 --> 00:56:38,640
Speaker 3: for ropy everyone in the Western hemisphere introp so.

1175
00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:41,479
Speaker 1: Every time I make a mental note to not invite them.

1176
00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:44,200
Speaker 1: And Rob wasn't the only close cousin, mind you, just

1177
00:56:44,320 --> 00:56:47,000
Speaker 1: one with the drama to really make me realize that

1178
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:49,240
Speaker 1: none of it is me, nor is it worth worrying

1179
00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:52,120
Speaker 1: over just keeping track of all the no invites. I

1180
00:56:52,160 --> 00:56:54,520
Speaker 1: told my grandmother that told me the tea, and she

1181
00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:57,440
Speaker 1: was all here for it. She actually refused to go

1182
00:56:57,520 --> 00:56:59,520
Speaker 1: to a few of the recent weddings because they didn't

1183
00:56:59,520 --> 00:57:02,719
Speaker 1: invite me. My other grandmother on my dad's side, Katie,

1184
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:05,040
Speaker 1: is very iffy, mind you. This is both of my

1185
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:07,640
Speaker 1: family sides, just my mom's side has been having a

1186
00:57:07,680 --> 00:57:11,200
Speaker 1: lot more Grandma Katie really thinks that it's an a

1187
00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:13,920
Speaker 1: whole thing to do to actually sit there and invite

1188
00:57:13,960 --> 00:57:16,920
Speaker 1: parents or siblings of a person and not them just

1189
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:19,400
Speaker 1: because they didn't invite me. I told her that it's

1190
00:57:19,440 --> 00:57:22,720
Speaker 1: not fair because of all their excuses could easily be mine,

1191
00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:24,280
Speaker 1: and that my wedding was not going to be a

1192
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:25,320
Speaker 1: people pleasing event.

1193
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:28,640
Speaker 3: Put your foot down exactly what. My wedding is not

1194
00:57:28,840 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 3: an event to please you.

1195
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:33,720
Speaker 1: Oh, my wedding's about me. What really sold it for

1196
00:57:33,840 --> 00:57:37,200
Speaker 1: me was my baby shower. My mother invited everyone. When

1197
00:57:37,240 --> 00:57:40,840
Speaker 1: I say everyone, I mean everyone, every state lived in,

1198
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:44,840
Speaker 1: All members of the family, even girlfriends and fiances were invited.

1199
00:57:45,040 --> 00:57:49,400
Speaker 1: Probably over two hundred invites, and maybe thirty people actually came.

1200
00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:52,400
Speaker 1: Many didn't reply and didn't show up. Out of my

1201
00:57:52,480 --> 00:57:56,480
Speaker 1: dad's entire family, my grandmother, aunt, cousin, and my grandmother's

1202
00:57:56,520 --> 00:57:59,400
Speaker 1: neighbor showed up. Grandma Katie was shocked when she realized

1203
00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:02,440
Speaker 1: that out of her sisters and multiple cousins and nieces,

1204
00:58:02,560 --> 00:58:05,800
Speaker 1: only four people showed up. After this, she still thinks

1205
00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:08,160
Speaker 1: I'd be mean, but she understands that I really am

1206
00:58:08,240 --> 00:58:10,160
Speaker 1: the odd one out, but she doesn't want me to

1207
00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:12,360
Speaker 1: stoop to their level. So I note the mean girls

1208
00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:15,480
Speaker 1: circle is real, and I found out even more recently

1209
00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:18,280
Speaker 1: they excluded me from a baby shower even though I

1210
00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:20,480
Speaker 1: invited all of them and none of them showed up.

1211
00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:22,880
Speaker 1: I don't think I am. I'm just not having people

1212
00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:25,280
Speaker 1: who don't think of me or invite me to their

1213
00:58:25,280 --> 00:58:27,880
Speaker 1: wedding at mine. I expressed this to my man and

1214
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:31,360
Speaker 1: he said, they're just jealous of you your looks and personality,

1215
00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:33,960
Speaker 1: and they think you'll out shine them by just being

1216
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:37,080
Speaker 1: there f them. I can marry you, however, just be

1217
00:58:37,160 --> 00:58:39,760
Speaker 1: happy with your decision. He's on the spectrum. So this

1218
00:58:39,840 --> 00:58:42,720
Speaker 1: is really sweet. Just this might be petty, I know

1219
00:58:42,800 --> 00:58:45,200
Speaker 1: that much. But am I actually being an a whole?

1220
00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:48,680
Speaker 1: And you know what's never an a whole? Move listening

1221
00:58:48,680 --> 00:58:50,880
Speaker 1: to full episodes with stories like this, Just go to

1222
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:55,640
Speaker 1: Okay story Time on Apple podcasts, Spotify or wherever you

1223
00:58:55,760 --> 00:58:56,960
Speaker 1: listen to your podcasts.

1224
00:58:57,040 --> 00:58:58,600
Speaker 3: But there is a little bit left the story of

1225
00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:02,120
Speaker 3: any final thoughts. Yeah, it's your husband's right. Just make

1226
00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:04,520
Speaker 3: sure that you want to marry your husband. Yeah, it's

1227
00:59:04,680 --> 00:59:07,240
Speaker 3: not fair. And it's like, I don't know if there's

1228
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:09,880
Speaker 3: any way to you know, really undo this other than

1229
00:59:09,920 --> 00:59:13,840
Speaker 3: to just remove yourself from the equation, make yourself unavailable,

1230
00:59:13,880 --> 00:59:17,680
Speaker 3: to be excluded by just excuting yourself in a way,

1231
00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:19,919
Speaker 3: you know, to like people out. These people want nothing

1232
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 3: to do with you, and that's clear. It's so just

1233
00:59:22,320 --> 00:59:24,440
Speaker 3: fine whatever, don't have anything to do with them. But

1234
00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:26,360
Speaker 3: there is a little bit left to this story.

1235
00:59:26,440 --> 00:59:28,640
Speaker 1: Side note. It's petty, I know, but I have two

1236
00:59:28,680 --> 00:59:31,880
Speaker 1: family members who got engaged recently to different people. I

1237
00:59:31,920 --> 00:59:33,520
Speaker 1: don't know how to make it not sound like they're

1238
00:59:33,560 --> 00:59:36,560
Speaker 1: marrying each other. And I'm patiently waiting to cross their

1239
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:38,880
Speaker 1: name off my list or write a loving and a

1240
00:59:38,880 --> 00:59:41,280
Speaker 1: heartfelt option about how they were the first people to

1241
00:59:41,320 --> 00:59:43,640
Speaker 1: invite me on their separate weddings. It was like I've

1242
00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:46,640
Speaker 1: but they got a really nice response, or like, oh

1243
00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:49,920
Speaker 1: out tear them down. You know it's bad when my father,

1244
00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:53,080
Speaker 1: the most drama free person, says, hey, your cousin just

1245
00:59:53,120 --> 00:59:56,880
Speaker 1: got engaged. I wonder if you're invited comments fun yellow

1246
00:59:56,920 --> 00:59:59,000
Speaker 1: six by seven six says it's your wedding, and by

1247
00:59:59,040 --> 01:00:02,080
Speaker 1: people you want there. It's obvious that your family didn't

1248
01:00:02,080 --> 01:00:04,720
Speaker 1: want you there, and to that reason, it doesn't matter.

1249
01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:07,120
Speaker 1: April arts he says not the a hole. That was

1250
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:09,560
Speaker 1: a lot to read, though, But really, if your family

1251
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:12,040
Speaker 1: members are childish enough to not let you attend their

1252
01:00:12,040 --> 01:00:16,200
Speaker 1: weddings because of some weird crossover relations, that's on them.

1253
01:00:16,400 --> 01:00:19,120
Speaker 1: I'm all buying the idea it's your big day, only

1254
01:00:19,160 --> 01:00:21,600
Speaker 1: invite who you want. But these types of back and

1255
01:00:21,640 --> 01:00:25,400
Speaker 1: forth reasonings only complicate things and people end up getting

1256
01:00:25,440 --> 01:00:28,120
Speaker 1: their field in the end. If you feel that you

1257
01:00:28,160 --> 01:00:30,919
Speaker 1: wouldn't be happy with them at your wedding, don't invite them,

1258
01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:34,160
Speaker 1: plain and simple. Boom, get that, and that is the

1259
01:00:34,320 --> 01:00:37,320
Speaker 1: end of that story. But for panel man, yeah, that's

1260
01:00:37,480 --> 01:00:39,360
Speaker 1: they beat your family kind of sucks.

1261
01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:42,760
Speaker 3: Don't want them there, them, don't want them there.

1262
01:00:43,160 --> 01:00:45,360
Speaker 1: I can't believe none of them invited you, Like, for

1263
01:00:45,440 --> 01:00:47,760
Speaker 1: you to not be invited to any of these parties

1264
01:00:47,920 --> 01:00:48,440
Speaker 1: is wild.

1265
01:00:48,920 --> 01:00:52,320
Speaker 3: He's just like really hot, smart, successful one and all

1266
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:54,400
Speaker 3: the other ones are just jealous, man.

1267
01:00:54,600 --> 01:00:56,240
Speaker 1: But that is the end of that story.

1268
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:02,040
Speaker 3: My mother started a drama over our wedding cake. Now

1269
01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:04,400
Speaker 3: I wish that we had just eloped.

1270
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:06,600
Speaker 1: Ain't that always the wish in these stories.

1271
01:01:06,960 --> 01:01:10,200
Speaker 3: My fiance and I got married this fall, and the

1272
01:01:10,240 --> 01:01:12,640
Speaker 3: cake has been a huge point of contention with my

1273
01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:15,400
Speaker 3: mom long saga, but the gist of it is that

1274
01:01:15,480 --> 01:01:18,600
Speaker 3: we wanted a dessert bar or cheesecake instead of a

1275
01:01:18,640 --> 01:01:22,640
Speaker 3: traditional cake. My mom initially insisted on having at least

1276
01:01:22,840 --> 01:01:25,400
Speaker 3: a small cake just for us to cut, so we

1277
01:01:25,520 --> 01:01:27,200
Speaker 3: compromised and got quotes.

1278
01:01:27,320 --> 01:01:28,760
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from.

1279
01:01:28,680 --> 01:01:33,080
Speaker 3: User Lali lu who and you can submit your stories

1280
01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:35,720
Speaker 3: on the r slash Okay storytime suburd. Right before we

1281
01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:38,520
Speaker 3: put a deposit down, she decided that having just a

1282
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:41,360
Speaker 3: cake for us and not for guests is tacky, so

1283
01:01:41,440 --> 01:01:43,600
Speaker 3: we needed to get a sheet cake to serve as well.

1284
01:01:43,640 --> 01:01:46,200
Speaker 3: We were annoyed because she was the one to suggest it,

1285
01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:49,120
Speaker 3: so we just cut our losses and opted to a

1286
01:01:49,400 --> 01:01:54,600
Speaker 3: tiered cheesecake and mini cheesecakes as we originally wanted. My

1287
01:01:54,760 --> 01:01:58,160
Speaker 3: mom would not let this go for the past six months.

1288
01:01:58,280 --> 01:02:01,600
Speaker 3: She then decided to focus on pushing for a grooms cake.

1289
01:02:01,640 --> 01:02:04,560
Speaker 3: My fiance did not want one. When I told her this,

1290
01:02:04,680 --> 01:02:07,440
Speaker 3: she said, it's quote really only a Grooms cake in

1291
01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:10,080
Speaker 3: name and not about what he wants. I told her

1292
01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:13,480
Speaker 3: a firm no multiple times, because she just wouldn't give up.

1293
01:02:13,600 --> 01:02:15,280
Speaker 1: That brings us to this week.

1294
01:02:15,400 --> 01:02:18,040
Speaker 3: I got a text yesterday saying she was at the

1295
01:02:18,080 --> 01:02:21,560
Speaker 3: bakery and paid for the order. I got suspicious because

1296
01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:24,800
Speaker 3: I never included her in those communications. I called the

1297
01:02:24,840 --> 01:02:28,600
Speaker 3: bakery today and was told by a very apologetic employee

1298
01:02:28,640 --> 01:02:31,720
Speaker 3: that my mom had added a multi tiered grooms cake

1299
01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:35,480
Speaker 3: with different fillings, flowers, the whole kit and kaboodle. We

1300
01:02:35,560 --> 01:02:38,560
Speaker 3: still have cheesecake, but I feel like it'll look silly

1301
01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:41,840
Speaker 3: next to what is essentially a wedding cake. My question

1302
01:02:41,920 --> 01:02:44,120
Speaker 3: now is what do I do. She doesn't know that

1303
01:02:44,200 --> 01:02:47,640
Speaker 3: I know. I'm furious and hurt. Obviously it's just a cake,

1304
01:02:47,680 --> 01:02:50,560
Speaker 3: but it's not really about that. She went behind my

1305
01:02:50,680 --> 01:02:53,880
Speaker 3: back and crossed multiple boundaries after I told her. No

1306
01:02:54,120 --> 01:02:56,600
Speaker 3: am I being a bridezilla for not letting her have

1307
01:02:56,720 --> 01:03:01,360
Speaker 3: her traditional wedding cake. Knittinator says, can and cancel it

1308
01:03:01,400 --> 01:03:04,680
Speaker 3: now and give all your vendors a password that must

1309
01:03:04,680 --> 01:03:07,240
Speaker 3: be given before any changes are made. That's a good

1310
01:03:07,280 --> 01:03:10,440
Speaker 3: that's good advice. Acidic Talk says, change the delivery location

1311
01:03:10,520 --> 01:03:13,160
Speaker 3: to a shelter or food bank. That is double good advice.

1312
01:03:13,480 --> 01:03:17,479
Speaker 3: And here is the update. Hello again, a big thank

1313
01:03:17,520 --> 01:03:20,240
Speaker 3: you to everyone who gave advice on my original post.

1314
01:03:20,400 --> 01:03:24,240
Speaker 3: I'm now married and had the best, most relaxing honeymoon

1315
01:03:24,400 --> 01:03:28,000
Speaker 3: with my now husband without any pesky family bothering us.

1316
01:03:28,080 --> 01:03:30,360
Speaker 3: By the time I posted, it was too late to

1317
01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:33,040
Speaker 3: cancel the wedding due to deposits and contracts, so it

1318
01:03:33,120 --> 01:03:37,400
Speaker 3: continued as planned. To clarify, yes, my parents did pay

1319
01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:39,360
Speaker 3: for the wedding, although my husband and I made it

1320
01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:42,720
Speaker 3: clear several times that we didn't expect or need them to.

1321
01:03:42,680 --> 01:03:43,520
Speaker 1: Pay for everything.

1322
01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:47,160
Speaker 3: No, I don't think them paying excuses my mom's actions.

1323
01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:49,920
Speaker 3: My parents reiterated that it was our wedding and we

1324
01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:52,840
Speaker 3: should do what we wanted. Clearly, the cake was the

1325
01:03:52,960 --> 01:03:56,320
Speaker 3: exception to this, though she had previously said to get

1326
01:03:56,400 --> 01:03:58,560
Speaker 3: cheesecake if that's what we wanted. So it sounds like

1327
01:03:58,600 --> 01:04:01,200
Speaker 3: the messages there she just couldn't help herself.

1328
01:04:01,240 --> 01:04:03,840
Speaker 1: She's like, this is your wedding, except for the cake.

1329
01:04:03,960 --> 01:04:04,640
Speaker 1: That's mine.

1330
01:04:04,960 --> 01:04:08,480
Speaker 3: My husband and I got a laugh out of everyone's

1331
01:04:08,520 --> 01:04:11,520
Speaker 3: suggestions for how to handle the cake. Initially, I wanted

1332
01:04:11,520 --> 01:04:14,280
Speaker 3: to go the petty route and surprise my mom by

1333
01:04:14,320 --> 01:04:17,240
Speaker 3: calling the bakery to change the cake designed to something

1334
01:04:17,280 --> 01:04:20,600
Speaker 3: she would find taki that would reflect my husband's hobbies,

1335
01:04:20,760 --> 01:04:23,240
Speaker 3: you know, like a groom's cake should do. After taking

1336
01:04:23,240 --> 01:04:25,480
Speaker 3: a few days to weigh my options, I knew my

1337
01:04:25,600 --> 01:04:29,760
Speaker 3: desire for petty satisfaction would nuke my relationship with my mom,

1338
01:04:29,800 --> 01:04:34,080
Speaker 3: which had truthfully never had this dynamic up until wedding planning.

1339
01:04:34,160 --> 01:04:36,520
Speaker 3: I knew that she absolutely was the one in the

1340
01:04:36,560 --> 01:04:39,320
Speaker 3: wrong and acting like a child, and while I'm the

1341
01:04:39,520 --> 01:04:42,400
Speaker 3: actual child in the relationship, I wanted to be mature

1342
01:04:42,720 --> 01:04:45,080
Speaker 3: and handle this like an adult, if only for my

1343
01:04:45,200 --> 01:04:48,560
Speaker 3: own moral high ground. I communicated with my parents, enlisted

1344
01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:51,680
Speaker 3: all the reasons why this situation and others throughout the

1345
01:04:51,680 --> 01:04:54,920
Speaker 3: wedding planning process was hurtful and completely out of line.

1346
01:04:55,040 --> 01:04:57,560
Speaker 3: Shock of the century to everyone on Reddit, I'm sure

1347
01:04:57,720 --> 01:04:59,000
Speaker 3: it didn't go well?

1348
01:04:59,120 --> 01:05:04,880
Speaker 1: What not? Oh, no way and disbelief. Your mother, who

1349
01:05:04,880 --> 01:05:08,959
Speaker 1: went against your wishes, didn't respond well to criticism.

1350
01:05:09,160 --> 01:05:13,560
Speaker 3: Oh my head is spinning, My my head is reeling.

1351
01:05:13,840 --> 01:05:15,000
Speaker 1: What is the ceiling?

1352
01:05:15,320 --> 01:05:17,680
Speaker 3: There was a series of texts I received from my

1353
01:05:17,760 --> 01:05:21,400
Speaker 3: mom that demonstrated she couldn't take accountability or comprehend that.

1354
01:05:21,520 --> 01:05:24,640
Speaker 3: I wasn't mad that she ruined my wedding by ordering

1355
01:05:24,640 --> 01:05:27,960
Speaker 3: a cake, but rather that she went behind my back

1356
01:05:28,280 --> 01:05:31,640
Speaker 3: knowing it with surprise and upset me on my wedding day.

1357
01:05:31,720 --> 01:05:35,360
Speaker 3: I attempted multiple times to redirect to the actual issue,

1358
01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:38,880
Speaker 3: with little success. We ended the conversation with her apologizing

1359
01:05:38,920 --> 01:05:42,040
Speaker 3: for a cake, making my husband and me so upset.

1360
01:05:42,120 --> 01:05:45,840
Speaker 3: This obviously wasn't a genuine apology or the main issue,

1361
01:05:45,920 --> 01:05:48,200
Speaker 3: even if she thought it was. She also agreed to

1362
01:05:48,280 --> 01:05:50,360
Speaker 3: move the groom's cake to a meal we had the

1363
01:05:50,440 --> 01:05:52,800
Speaker 3: day before the wedding, which I was fine with. At

1364
01:05:52,800 --> 01:05:55,000
Speaker 3: this point, we were a week out from the wedding

1365
01:05:55,120 --> 01:05:57,400
Speaker 3: and the thought of continuing to press the issue was

1366
01:05:57,440 --> 01:05:59,520
Speaker 3: too much for me to handle with everything else on

1367
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:01,600
Speaker 3: my plate. I dropped the rope leading up to the

1368
01:06:01,640 --> 01:06:04,920
Speaker 3: wedding so I could refocus on enjoying my wedding as

1369
01:06:04,920 --> 01:06:07,200
Speaker 3: best as I could. I interacted with my mom as

1370
01:06:07,240 --> 01:06:09,760
Speaker 3: little as possible the day of, and our wedding party

1371
01:06:09,800 --> 01:06:12,720
Speaker 3: and coordinator did a fantastick.

1372
01:06:11,880 --> 01:06:13,000
Speaker 1: Job being a buffer.

1373
01:06:13,120 --> 01:06:15,760
Speaker 3: While I've had some contact with her since, it has

1374
01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:19,880
Speaker 3: dramatically declined so I can get some much needed space. Obviously,

1375
01:06:19,960 --> 01:06:22,720
Speaker 3: we'll need to have some tough conversations, but I'm choosing

1376
01:06:22,760 --> 01:06:25,520
Speaker 3: to spend my time with my new husband and getting

1377
01:06:25,560 --> 01:06:28,640
Speaker 3: back into therapy. Weddings. Man, they really bring out the

1378
01:06:28,720 --> 01:06:31,919
Speaker 3: Grazian people, Ain't that the truth? Oh and by the way,

1379
01:06:31,960 --> 01:06:35,440
Speaker 3: the cheesecakes were a huge hit. Missus Neville Bartos says,

1380
01:06:35,640 --> 01:06:38,120
Speaker 3: I'm glad you had the day you wanted and enjoyed

1381
01:06:38,120 --> 01:06:42,280
Speaker 3: your honeymoon. Unfortunately, although previously this wasn't the dynamic you

1382
01:06:42,320 --> 01:06:45,440
Speaker 3: had with your mother, the fact she refused to see

1383
01:06:45,440 --> 01:06:48,520
Speaker 3: her error and wasn't apologetic, Well, if I were you,

1384
01:06:48,600 --> 01:06:50,880
Speaker 3: I would bear that in mind for the future and

1385
01:06:51,040 --> 01:06:54,960
Speaker 3: plan accordingly. Landerson four h seven says it will likely

1386
01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:56,920
Speaker 3: rear its head again if and when you talk to

1387
01:06:56,960 --> 01:07:00,120
Speaker 3: her about respecting your parenting boundaries. If that's the thing

1388
01:07:00,160 --> 01:07:03,760
Speaker 3: you plan on doing. Ohp says oh absolutely. The lack

1389
01:07:03,800 --> 01:07:07,040
Speaker 3: of respecting boundaries and breaking trust for future life events

1390
01:07:07,120 --> 01:07:10,040
Speaker 3: was actually something I pointed out in our conversation. She

1391
01:07:10,080 --> 01:07:13,080
Speaker 3: didn't seem to understand the point I was making, just

1392
01:07:13,200 --> 01:07:16,480
Speaker 3: kept going back to the cake and not the deeper issue.

1393
01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:20,440
Speaker 3: And we have a update a year down the line. Woo,

1394
01:07:20,680 --> 01:07:25,200
Speaker 3: let's get into it freaking new. I'm back with a

1395
01:07:25,360 --> 01:07:28,680
Speaker 3: one year update on how my mom changed my wedding

1396
01:07:28,720 --> 01:07:30,919
Speaker 3: cake order without me knowing. So people have reached out

1397
01:07:30,920 --> 01:07:34,040
Speaker 3: for an update, and coincidentally, I've had several friends get

1398
01:07:34,080 --> 01:07:37,600
Speaker 3: engaged who have similar family dynamics as mine. I've shared

1399
01:07:37,680 --> 01:07:39,680
Speaker 3: all of this with them, but I feel the need

1400
01:07:39,720 --> 01:07:42,600
Speaker 3: to blast this online too. Now that I'm a year out,

1401
01:07:42,680 --> 01:07:45,160
Speaker 3: I can acknowledge that I love my husband and our

1402
01:07:45,200 --> 01:07:46,760
Speaker 3: life together, but having a.

1403
01:07:46,720 --> 01:07:50,120
Speaker 1: Traditional wedding was a big mistake. WHOA.

1404
01:07:50,760 --> 01:07:53,200
Speaker 3: When I think back on our wedding day, I am

1405
01:07:53,280 --> 01:07:56,360
Speaker 3: devastated to admit that the few emotions I remember from

1406
01:07:56,400 --> 01:07:59,360
Speaker 3: that day were not how much I love my now

1407
01:07:59,520 --> 01:08:03,120
Speaker 3: husband and the excitement over our future together, but anxiety

1408
01:08:03,200 --> 01:08:06,080
Speaker 3: over my mom and whether crap was about to blow up.

1409
01:08:06,240 --> 01:08:09,760
Speaker 3: If you're recently engaged and have difficult family relationships or

1410
01:08:09,840 --> 01:08:12,280
Speaker 3: aren't completely sold on shelling out a ton of money

1411
01:08:12,320 --> 01:08:15,600
Speaker 3: for a wedding, please let this be another loud voice

1412
01:08:15,720 --> 01:08:16,400
Speaker 3: yelling at you.

1413
01:08:16,680 --> 01:08:21,839
Speaker 1: Eloe Elope. You had all three days.

1414
01:08:22,120 --> 01:08:26,880
Speaker 3: Today's the first day you will, Eloe, have a courthouse wedding.

1415
01:08:26,920 --> 01:08:30,439
Speaker 3: Don't invite problematic guests. Do whatever you want to do,

1416
01:08:30,840 --> 01:08:34,160
Speaker 3: but for the love of God, avoid that family drama

1417
01:08:34,240 --> 01:08:37,160
Speaker 3: at all costs. I wish I would have stuck to

1418
01:08:37,200 --> 01:08:40,920
Speaker 3: what I originally wanted eloping somewhere abroad. But alas, I

1419
01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:43,439
Speaker 3: made my decision and have to accept it. What I

1420
01:08:43,479 --> 01:08:46,600
Speaker 3: didn't mention in my initial posts was that my relationship

1421
01:08:46,640 --> 01:08:51,240
Speaker 3: with my mom immediately and irrevocably changed as soon as

1422
01:08:51,280 --> 01:08:53,960
Speaker 3: I became engaged. Even though I knew she could be

1423
01:08:54,160 --> 01:08:56,400
Speaker 3: a lot, I had no idea what I was in for.

1424
01:08:56,479 --> 01:08:58,240
Speaker 3: If I could do it all again, I would have

1425
01:08:58,240 --> 01:09:02,200
Speaker 3: stopped that wedding planning train in its track after the

1426
01:09:02,200 --> 01:09:05,600
Speaker 3: first few signs of craziness. The cake was, unsurprisingly just

1427
01:09:05,680 --> 01:09:09,240
Speaker 3: the last straw of craziness that happened. Greatest hits include

1428
01:09:09,280 --> 01:09:14,000
Speaker 3: telling literally and I mean literally everyone, she knew that

1429
01:09:14,040 --> 01:09:16,600
Speaker 3: we were getting engaged less than ten minutes after my

1430
01:09:16,680 --> 01:09:21,280
Speaker 3: husband told my parents he planned to propose, sharing the

1431
01:09:21,320 --> 01:09:24,280
Speaker 3: proposal photos with her, commenting on how big I looked

1432
01:09:24,280 --> 01:09:26,720
Speaker 3: in the photos, which are to this day ruined for me.

1433
01:09:27,320 --> 01:09:29,960
Speaker 3: Told a family member who commented on how beautiful I

1434
01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:32,320
Speaker 3: looked at a pre wedding event. Yeah, well she gained

1435
01:09:32,320 --> 01:09:32,880
Speaker 3: a lot of weight.

1436
01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:35,599
Speaker 1: Oh so so this isn't just the cake issue, this

1437
01:09:35,640 --> 01:09:38,200
Speaker 1: is her being terrible throughout. Yeah, she just sucks.

1438
01:09:38,400 --> 01:09:40,840
Speaker 3: Tried to crash my first look the day of my

1439
01:09:40,880 --> 01:09:43,960
Speaker 3: wedding and acted hurt that she wasn't invited, did crash

1440
01:09:44,000 --> 01:09:46,320
Speaker 3: my first look, and through a fit when my wedding

1441
01:09:46,320 --> 01:09:49,559
Speaker 3: coordinator wouldn't let her in, made the wedding all about

1442
01:09:49,560 --> 01:09:51,400
Speaker 3: how she never had to say in anything, and that

1443
01:09:51,479 --> 01:09:54,479
Speaker 3: I was the controlling, immature one. We still do have

1444
01:09:54,600 --> 01:09:58,120
Speaker 3: contact today, but it's limited and I am very guarded

1445
01:09:58,160 --> 01:10:01,640
Speaker 3: with what I choose to share. Ever genuinely apologized or

1446
01:10:01,680 --> 01:10:04,720
Speaker 3: acknowledged the stress and hurt she caused, short of some

1447
01:10:04,800 --> 01:10:07,599
Speaker 3: major changes on her part, I don't see that happening.

1448
01:10:07,680 --> 01:10:11,679
Speaker 3: By the way, I can see you listening to full

1449
01:10:11,840 --> 01:10:15,160
Speaker 3: episodes with stories like this whenever you want.

1450
01:10:15,439 --> 01:10:16,360
Speaker 1: All you need to do.

1451
01:10:16,439 --> 01:10:19,400
Speaker 3: Is go to Spotify or Apple Podcasts or wherever you

1452
01:10:19,479 --> 01:10:23,000
Speaker 3: get your podcasts from and search. Okay, story time, and

1453
01:10:23,080 --> 01:10:24,920
Speaker 3: we do have a little bit more of the story here,

1454
01:10:24,960 --> 01:10:26,760
Speaker 3: Oh man man, do you have any thoughts?

1455
01:10:26,800 --> 01:10:29,559
Speaker 1: Do you have any parting thoughts? My parting thoughts, Sara,

1456
01:10:29,680 --> 01:10:32,640
Speaker 1: that your mama showed her true colors and she's not

1457
01:10:32,760 --> 01:10:35,400
Speaker 1: supportive of you, and she puts you down and that's

1458
01:10:35,439 --> 01:10:36,400
Speaker 1: not okay.

1459
01:10:36,640 --> 01:10:41,080
Speaker 3: So yeah, more of the story is to absolutely soak

1460
01:10:41,160 --> 01:10:45,080
Speaker 3: up the fresh excitement of getting engaged. But seriously, ask yourself,

1461
01:10:45,080 --> 01:10:47,479
Speaker 3: if there's anyone in your life who will make wedding

1462
01:10:47,560 --> 01:10:51,840
Speaker 3: planning a living nightmare. If you're oh so fortunate to

1463
01:10:51,880 --> 01:10:54,400
Speaker 3: have a character like that, have a plan to handle

1464
01:10:54,439 --> 01:10:57,600
Speaker 3: it and be prepared to enforce those boundaries. And for

1465
01:10:57,640 --> 01:11:01,320
Speaker 3: the extra crazy families out there, maybe just Elope, that

1466
01:11:01,360 --> 01:11:04,599
Speaker 3: would be my advice. Honestly, that's the end of that story.

1467
01:11:04,760 --> 01:11:08,240
Speaker 3: My advice is, have one wedding that's just not even

1468
01:11:08,240 --> 01:11:10,559
Speaker 3: a wedding, it's just you eloping with your partner. You

1469
01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:12,599
Speaker 3: get to have all of the specialness between the two

1470
01:11:12,640 --> 01:11:15,639
Speaker 3: of you, and then do another one where everything's already

1471
01:11:15,680 --> 01:11:18,080
Speaker 3: done and it's just a bonus west it's a party.

1472
01:11:18,320 --> 01:11:20,320
Speaker 1: But that is the end of that story, and the

1473
01:11:20,400 --> 01:11:22,040
Speaker 1: end of this episode, is it. Yes?

1474
01:11:22,360 --> 01:11:26,920
Speaker 3: Oh well, if you love us, make sure you subscribe

1475
01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:29,680
Speaker 3: We love you and see you tomorrow.