1 00:00:02,080 --> 00:00:04,520 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:09,160 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please 3 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:12,360 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and 4 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:15,280 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter 5 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:18,000 Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're gonna read this 6 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: one right here, right now. Bugle out and hold on tight. 7 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:24,079 Speaker 1: We got it for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter, 8 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 1: all right, thank you. Nephew's subject, I've fallen in love 9 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:30,960 Speaker 1: with her boyfriend. Dear Stephen Shirley. I am a single 10 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,840 Speaker 1: female and I moved to a new city three years 11 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:37,280 Speaker 1: ago for a new job. I did not have any 12 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:40,559 Speaker 1: family or friends in the city, but I instantly bonded 13 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:44,839 Speaker 1: with a male coworker and we've become really close. He 14 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,800 Speaker 1: was really great at helping me get settled and showing 15 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:51,320 Speaker 1: me around town and everything. He has a girlfriend, though 16 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 1: of eight years, with a child, and I've always respected that. 17 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:58,639 Speaker 1: We would get to flirty here and there, but it 18 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:03,600 Speaker 1: was always harmless. At first, he'd complain about his girlfriend 19 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:07,280 Speaker 1: and their constant arguments in their boring sex life. I 20 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: try to ignore my feelings for him, but the more 21 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:12,840 Speaker 1: he opened up to me, the more attractive he became. 22 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:17,600 Speaker 1: The harmless flirting turned into a one night stand, and 23 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 1: that one night stand turned into two years of great sex, 24 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:24,639 Speaker 1: sometimes four times a week, and it's the best sex 25 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:28,480 Speaker 1: we've both had. We see each other at work after 26 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:31,840 Speaker 1: working on weekend getaways. I try to end things with 27 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:34,280 Speaker 1: them because I'm falling in love with him, but I 28 00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 1: can't seem to stay away from him, and he feels 29 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 1: the same way. He said his family has guilted him 30 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,960 Speaker 1: into staying with his girlfriend. But it's been eight years, 31 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,280 Speaker 1: so it should be clear to her that he does 32 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 1: not want to marry her. I've never pressured him to 33 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:51,000 Speaker 1: leave her because I'm the homewrecker at this home wrecker 34 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:54,080 Speaker 1: at this point, but I'm growing more and more jealous 35 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 1: of their relationship. This is something that eats at me, 36 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:00,280 Speaker 1: and I'm finding it hard to let go of him. 37 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,120 Speaker 1: How can I move on without this great man and 38 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,760 Speaker 1: that I'm in love with. Should I give him him 39 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:09,359 Speaker 1: an ultimatum and see if his heart is really with 40 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:12,079 Speaker 1: me or with her? Could it be that he's just 41 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:17,840 Speaker 1: bored at home? My heart is so confused. Well, what 42 00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:20,639 Speaker 1: are you confused about? I mean, what do you want. 43 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:24,959 Speaker 1: This whole letter is about him and not enough about 44 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:28,080 Speaker 1: you and what you want. I mean, this man is 45 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 1: not going anywhere. He's not going to leave you, and 46 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 1: why would he at this point, because he's got the 47 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 1: best of both worlds. He's got her, he's had her 48 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:39,200 Speaker 1: for eight years, and he's got you. He can do 49 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:42,200 Speaker 1: you whenever he wants. You know, you guys are together 50 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,800 Speaker 1: at work after work on we can get aways, he 51 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:47,959 Speaker 1: can get it in. He's not gonna stop or he's 52 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,440 Speaker 1: not gonna make a move until you do something. Okay, 53 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,919 Speaker 1: I don't care what it is you ask about an ultimatum. 54 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,239 Speaker 1: I don't care if you give him an ultimatum look 55 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 1: her or me. I don't care if you make a 56 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 1: speech about it. Dude that tweeted put it on Instagram. 57 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,000 Speaker 1: Do everything you have to do. I mean, who cares 58 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,840 Speaker 1: what you do. You just gotta do something. You want change, 59 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:09,280 Speaker 1: You gotta change it. You gotta be the one to 60 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:11,120 Speaker 1: do it. Don't be so caught up with him and 61 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:13,760 Speaker 1: the becks. What did you say the best sect you've 62 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,840 Speaker 1: ever had? That you just continue to let him use 63 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:19,280 Speaker 1: you because that's what he's doing. I mean, you look 64 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 1: up one day and it'll be you in it for 65 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:25,120 Speaker 1: eight years. You've already put in two and nothing, so 66 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 1: all you have is six more to go and you'll 67 00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:30,839 Speaker 1: be just like her. And please, please do not get 68 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:33,840 Speaker 1: pregnant by this man, Please don't do that. So I 69 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:36,560 Speaker 1: just gotta tell you, you got to decide what you want. 70 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:38,360 Speaker 1: You gotta let him know, and if you don't get 71 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:40,640 Speaker 1: what you want out of him, it's time to move on, 72 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:45,400 Speaker 1: plain and simple. It's time to move on. Steve Well, 73 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 1: the key to this letter is I've fallen in love 74 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:58,080 Speaker 1: with her Boyfrida, you're already, you're already behind the eight ball. 75 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 1: All right, here we go. You met this guy who's 76 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:10,280 Speaker 1: out of town. All this, he's really great, help you 77 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 1: settle in. Got a girlfriend eight years and a child. 78 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:18,599 Speaker 1: I love when people say this. I've always respected that, right, 79 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:24,000 Speaker 1: really well, let me show you how what happens to respect. 80 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,680 Speaker 1: Y'all will get flirted here and there, but it's harmless. 81 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:34,400 Speaker 1: That ain't ever harmless little bit of flirting, trust me. 82 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:39,719 Speaker 1: Somebody trying to get something started. And according to me, 83 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:42,159 Speaker 1: it looked like both of y'all didn't. He complained about 84 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:46,320 Speaker 1: his girlfriend always arguing and they're boring. Sex like this 85 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:51,919 Speaker 1: sex so boring they'd have made a baby. What is 86 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:56,680 Speaker 1: boring sex? Let's make a baby? Try to ignore my 87 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 1: feelings for him. But the more he opened up to me, 88 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:02,719 Speaker 1: the more attractive he became. Then she said that the 89 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:08,799 Speaker 1: harmless flirting turned into a one night stand that turned 90 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 1: into two years of grace. Say okay, see holder hook. 91 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:15,400 Speaker 1: See when people say a one night stand turned into 92 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:19,480 Speaker 1: two good years of six At what point was she 93 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:25,279 Speaker 1: even considering this just for one night? Right? Right? No, 94 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,479 Speaker 1: the man had become more and more attractive to you. 95 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:32,360 Speaker 1: That's why you had what you wanna call a one 96 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 1: night stand. But it was simply you starting what you've 97 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:39,520 Speaker 1: been wanting to start for quite some time. Now, there's 98 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 1: one night stand that turned into two damn years. He 99 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:50,400 Speaker 1: been having the same boring sex with this other woman 100 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:54,719 Speaker 1: for eight years. It must not be that damn bory, 101 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:58,159 Speaker 1: right because the eight years of born sex somebody that 102 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 1: you're not married to. What that makes no sense? Little girl? 103 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:08,360 Speaker 1: You the hat turned into two sometimes four times a week. 104 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:12,640 Speaker 1: It's the best sex we've both had. We see each 105 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:15,680 Speaker 1: other work after work on the weekend. Shirley's absolutely right. 106 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:20,240 Speaker 1: You are so convenient to him. You're four times a 107 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:24,960 Speaker 1: week after work and a weekend getaways. All hill, where 108 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:29,359 Speaker 1: is this eight year relationship at if y'all having six 109 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:33,919 Speaker 1: full times a week, it ain't but seven days in 110 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:39,240 Speaker 1: a week. You already and took up four. He got 111 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 1: the babe one of them days. Hold on save, we'll 112 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,880 Speaker 1: get part two of your response coming up in twenty 113 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,240 Speaker 1: three minutes after the hour. Subject of today's Stewberry letter, 114 00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:51,920 Speaker 1: I've fallen in love with her boyfriend. We'll get back 115 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:55,640 Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening to the Steve 116 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:58,839 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show. All right, Steve, come on part two 117 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 1: of your response to the Strawberry letter. Let's recap please, 118 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:09,440 Speaker 1: all right, we got this lady, moved to this city, 119 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 1: met this man co worker. He was real helpful, helped 120 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 1: to get settled in. But he got this girlfriend eight 121 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:20,920 Speaker 1: years and they got a child. She just threw that in. 122 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:24,040 Speaker 1: He has a girlfriend of eight years and a child. 123 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:27,360 Speaker 1: You know, it's pretty big deal. Eight years and a baby. 124 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 1: But I've I've always respected that. That's what I like. 125 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 1: I love that line that I've always respected that because 126 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:46,000 Speaker 1: I would want someone to respect my nationship, so I 127 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 1: respected his. Then one day she got sick and tired. 128 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:56,720 Speaker 1: All this damn respect, get all this respect. Let's have 129 00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:02,040 Speaker 1: sex for one night, but I'm gonna give it to 130 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,720 Speaker 1: you so good, you're gonna moan it, You're gonna want 131 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:08,360 Speaker 1: it for a long time, and then you'll be mine. 132 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 1: Two years later, here she comes to write this letter, 133 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:17,239 Speaker 1: having some great sex, best they've ever had. Four times 134 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:22,400 Speaker 1: a week. Oh very well, that worked after work, on 135 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:26,640 Speaker 1: the job, after the job, on the weekend. Getaways too much? 136 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 1: Full days a week. It's seven days in a week. 137 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:32,439 Speaker 1: Where is this health of that he'd been with for 138 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:35,160 Speaker 1: eight years with this baby? If you having sex with 139 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,640 Speaker 1: him four times a week, how many days do the 140 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:40,240 Speaker 1: other girl getting because he's still got to go down there? 141 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 1: Well that's seven days a week. You can't do that. 142 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:52,520 Speaker 1: Got to get some damn rest. Who you are, You've 143 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:56,000 Speaker 1: got some, so go somewhere and get your ass some rest. 144 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:01,360 Speaker 1: I've tried to end things with because I'm falling in 145 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:05,040 Speaker 1: love with him, but I can't seem to stay away 146 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,320 Speaker 1: from him, and he feels the same way. Well, that's 147 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:10,640 Speaker 1: because you sprung, you're whipped, you got your nose open. 148 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 1: You've been hammered, not hammered Yeah, that's old school. You've 149 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:24,960 Speaker 1: been hammered. So now he said his family has guilted 150 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:29,439 Speaker 1: him into staying with his girlfriend. What this his family fault? Now, 151 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:33,520 Speaker 1: they didn't guilted him into staying with his girlfriend. That's 152 00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:36,640 Speaker 1: what he came up with. That's what he's telling you. 153 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,040 Speaker 1: Why it has been eight years, that's why he's been 154 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,439 Speaker 1: with you for two years. So let me ask you something. 155 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,640 Speaker 1: If his family has guilted him to stay with the girlfriend, 156 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,840 Speaker 1: why has he told you that he been with you 157 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:52,800 Speaker 1: for two years? Have you ever thought about that? Is 158 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,520 Speaker 1: it guilt? Is it love? I haven't heard you say 159 00:09:56,559 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 1: he's in love with you. You said you will try 160 00:09:58,559 --> 00:10:00,439 Speaker 1: to end it because you've fallen in love with him. 161 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:03,440 Speaker 1: I didn't hear you say he said that. I've never 162 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,480 Speaker 1: pressured him to leave her because I'm the home wrecker 163 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 1: at this point. Yeah, you've been that, not at this point. 164 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:13,360 Speaker 1: You was the home wrecker two years ago. Don't think 165 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,000 Speaker 1: you just got the title today because you wrote the letter. 166 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:19,079 Speaker 1: But I'm growing more and more jealous in their relationship. 167 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,720 Speaker 1: This is something that eats at me, and I'm finding 168 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,920 Speaker 1: it hard to let him go. Well, let me ask 169 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:25,920 Speaker 1: you a question. If you're finding it hard to let 170 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,880 Speaker 1: him go. What do you have? None of this belongs 171 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:32,400 Speaker 1: to you. You don't have relationship with the title. He 172 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:35,000 Speaker 1: can't take you over to the family's house. You ain't 173 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,720 Speaker 1: never been over there because they know that he got 174 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,520 Speaker 1: this baby, so you ain't welcome over there, and they 175 00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 1: didn't guilt at you in the stand with her, So now, 176 00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:44,720 Speaker 1: which makes you not even want to ask to go 177 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:47,240 Speaker 1: over there. You ain't had a Christmas with the man 178 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 1: in two damn years. You ain't had no New Year's 179 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,319 Speaker 1: Eve with him in two damn years. I can promise 180 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,000 Speaker 1: you ain't. He ain't been at your house for Thanksgiving 181 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:59,880 Speaker 1: in two damn years, because he can't. You ain't had 182 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,719 Speaker 1: none of that. So when you say it's hard let 183 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,760 Speaker 1: him go, what you letting go? How can I move 184 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:08,640 Speaker 1: on without this great man that I'm in love with? 185 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:16,000 Speaker 1: This great man has two chicks, one got a baby, 186 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:18,960 Speaker 1: and don't neither one of y'all know about each other? 187 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:22,559 Speaker 1: Just who the great man is? Should I give him 188 00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:25,040 Speaker 1: an ultimatum and see if his heart is really with 189 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,160 Speaker 1: me or with her? You're not gonna do that because 190 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,680 Speaker 1: you're scared, because you already know he had eight years 191 00:11:29,679 --> 00:11:31,840 Speaker 1: to leave and ain't left her yet. He been with 192 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:34,959 Speaker 1: you just two family ain't guilting him in the staying 193 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:37,800 Speaker 1: with you. The family's guilting him in the staying with her. 194 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:41,920 Speaker 1: Could it be that he's just born at home? Hell yeah? 195 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:45,240 Speaker 1: And you all the excitement he can say, y'all everywhere 196 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:48,800 Speaker 1: four times a week. If I'm coming by your house 197 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:50,880 Speaker 1: four times a week, do you know what's happening when 198 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:54,120 Speaker 1: I get over there? To make me gass up and 199 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:57,280 Speaker 1: come over there four times a week? You know how 200 00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,600 Speaker 1: many lies I got to tell this woman with this baby, 201 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:02,600 Speaker 1: my girl friend to not to show up four times 202 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:07,840 Speaker 1: a week. I'm I come in the doughte with being 203 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:15,120 Speaker 1: gay on my back stretch. It ice a hot. I 204 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:18,440 Speaker 1: got them bands and stuff. I'm doing beak from yoga. 205 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:23,760 Speaker 1: I'm all this. I got a politic machine in yoga garage. 206 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:35,440 Speaker 1: I'm doing everything. Girl, listen to me. You're in a 207 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,800 Speaker 1: sexual relationship with a man for two years and it's 208 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:43,680 Speaker 1: been great sex. That's all it is. Ask him who 209 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:47,360 Speaker 1: would he prefer to be with? Just ask him, and 210 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,760 Speaker 1: then when he gives you the answer, just say, well, 211 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:52,480 Speaker 1: why aren't you? Because he gonna say I would prefer 212 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:55,360 Speaker 1: to be with you and then just say why are you? 213 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:59,240 Speaker 1: And then watch this hill. That's all you gotta do. 214 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,280 Speaker 1: All right, Steve, thank you. Post your comments on today's 215 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:06,640 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey, ft them on Instagram and Facebook. 216 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:08,960 Speaker 1: And please don't forget to check out the Strawberry Letter 217 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:13,559 Speaker 1: podcast on demand. All right, more of this crazy ignorant show, 218 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:17,560 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show. Right after this. You're listening to 219 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:19,360 Speaker 1: the Steve Harvey Morning Show