1
00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:06,120
Speaker 1: Welcome to desperately devoted Think of us as your favorite

2
00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:09,480
Speaker 1: neighbors as we chat about life and relationships, all.

3
00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:12,640
Speaker 2: While we revisit the iconic show Desperate Housewives together.

4
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:15,240
Speaker 1: I'm Terry Hatcher, I'm Andrea Bowen.

5
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,000
Speaker 2: And I'm Emerson Tenny.

6
00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:21,040
Speaker 1: Hey, guys, ah, so good to see you, So good

7
00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:22,720
Speaker 1: to see your favorite thing about Tuesday.

8
00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:29,720
Speaker 2: I totally agree this episode's title. Speaking out over Here

9
00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:32,880
Speaker 2: episode thirteen air January twenty third, two thousand and five,

10
00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:34,879
Speaker 2: titled Your Fault.

11
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:37,479
Speaker 3: From the amazing musical Into the Woods.

12
00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:41,920
Speaker 2: Into the Woods is my favorite Sontai musical. I could

13
00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:44,160
Speaker 2: sing that not it's your fault and it's really mine at.

14
00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:49,040
Speaker 3: All came away with Without that beans, that would have

15
00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:50,479
Speaker 3: been nose doc to get up to the giant in

16
00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:54,120
Speaker 3: the first place. Wait a minute, yeah I won't.

17
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,760
Speaker 2: But you know what I will say, speaking of Into

18
00:00:56,760 --> 00:01:01,160
Speaker 2: the Woods and your Fault and Andrea. For my eleventh birthday,

19
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:05,080
Speaker 2: right my eleventh birthday, all I wanted to do was

20
00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:08,319
Speaker 2: an Into the Woods themed birthday party, and so I

21
00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:11,400
Speaker 2: was probably the only eleven year old sending out birthday

22
00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:14,119
Speaker 2: invites along with people's sides.

23
00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:18,000
Speaker 1: I into the Woods. They got to signed a character

24
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:18,880
Speaker 1: and a script.

25
00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:21,400
Speaker 2: Yes, I cast it beautifully. I cast it with all

26
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:22,720
Speaker 2: my friends. I cast them in the roles that I

27
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:24,920
Speaker 2: thought that they should play. And everyone showed up at

28
00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:27,800
Speaker 2: my mom's backyard in the morning. She set up a

29
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:31,080
Speaker 2: beautiful stage. She spray painted a backdrop with a carousel

30
00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:36,280
Speaker 2: and a castle and a carriage, and we rehearsed for

31
00:01:36,319 --> 00:01:38,800
Speaker 2: the beginning of the day. Then we had lunch, and

32
00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,520
Speaker 2: then we performed the first act only so we actually

33
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,000
Speaker 2: didn't get to the song your Fault, but we performed

34
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:47,240
Speaker 2: the first active into the Woods, and Andrea came with

35
00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:49,800
Speaker 2: so saved the day.

36
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:53,200
Speaker 3: She said, what happened? Why did I have to pitch

37
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:54,840
Speaker 3: hit some of my friends to come in?

38
00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:57,920
Speaker 2: So my one male friend at the time, as an

39
00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:01,200
Speaker 2: eleven year old, whyatt Stromer, I'm called, I am out.

40
00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:03,280
Speaker 2: He's still one of my dear friends. So I can

41
00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,240
Speaker 2: I can say his name and last name. My gosh,

42
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:07,280
Speaker 2: he's identified. He's a wonderful guy.

43
00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:08,280
Speaker 1: He really is so cute.

44
00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, incredible cinematographer, just great human being. But at the

45
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:12,920
Speaker 2: time he was like my one male friend, and I

46
00:02:12,919 --> 00:02:15,679
Speaker 2: think I had cast him as both the prince and

47
00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:18,680
Speaker 2: the wolf. Because naturally he really had to carry a

48
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,880
Speaker 2: lot of weight. And then he got sick and he

49
00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,400
Speaker 2: couldn't come to the party, and I was playing Cinderella,

50
00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,040
Speaker 2: which now, just for the record, if we ever did

51
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:29,120
Speaker 2: into the Woods again, I would one want to be

52
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:32,639
Speaker 2: the witch or the Baker's wife. Yes, but at the

53
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,400
Speaker 2: time I wanted to be Cinderella and I had no prince,

54
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:36,440
Speaker 2: and I was devastated.

55
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:39,480
Speaker 1: And this is like late at night. And also I

56
00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:42,720
Speaker 1: want to point out that Glee was at its height

57
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:47,840
Speaker 1: of popularity. So I imagine, just imagine Glee is at

58
00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,640
Speaker 1: its high to popularity. My daughter is going to be

59
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:55,600
Speaker 1: turning eleven, and I call Andrea Sos, do you know

60
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:59,040
Speaker 1: anyone that could come be the prince at an eleven

61
00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,359
Speaker 1: year olds to the Woods birthday party?

62
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,679
Speaker 3: And I happened to be and still to this day,

63
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:07,720
Speaker 3: very very very close friends with Kevin McHale and Jenna Hushwoods,

64
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:10,880
Speaker 3: who were both on Glee and are just incredible people

65
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:13,760
Speaker 3: in general and both very musically gifted as we know.

66
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,760
Speaker 3: And so I was like, yeah, I do I have

67
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:17,640
Speaker 3: people who can come.

68
00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:19,760
Speaker 1: In and out and they did, and they did, and

69
00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,320
Speaker 1: these two do you know that I told them I

70
00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:25,399
Speaker 1: have I remember, you know, I never remember anything. Obviously

71
00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,480
Speaker 1: we've been doing this rewatch, and I don't remember anything,

72
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,480
Speaker 1: but I remember this. After the party, we were in

73
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,800
Speaker 1: our living room and I was talking to them and

74
00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:34,760
Speaker 1: I looked Kevin right in the face and I said,

75
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,320
Speaker 1: I will scrub your toilets for the rest of your life.

76
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,280
Speaker 1: That is how much I know you. No, but I

77
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,960
Speaker 1: mean it was just I will do anything for you

78
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:44,800
Speaker 1: for the rest of your life because you came through

79
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,440
Speaker 1: these kids at this party, if you can imagine, I mean,

80
00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:49,440
Speaker 1: it was like the biggest movie stars walked into the

81
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,880
Speaker 1: backyard and he played the prince and we did it

82
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,320
Speaker 1: all like very improvy, and I have video of all

83
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,760
Speaker 1: of this, and he twirled her around and he was

84
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,880
Speaker 1: so tolerant of like they were just gaga over the

85
00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,800
Speaker 1: I mean it was crazy. So yeah, that's our into

86
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:03,600
Speaker 1: the Woods story.

87
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:06,240
Speaker 2: I think we actually can probably pull up a picture

88
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,400
Speaker 2: of Andrea and I from that party when I'm in

89
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:11,560
Speaker 2: my little Cinderella like rags before i transform into my

90
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:14,119
Speaker 2: princess dress and I'm seeing the picture in my head.

91
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:14,360
Speaker 1: Yeah.

92
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:19,880
Speaker 2: Anyway, very special day, special time in our lives together.

93
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:23,279
Speaker 2: And now finally I've been waiting for the time that

94
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:26,400
Speaker 2: we get an into the Woods title as the title

95
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:27,960
Speaker 2: of the episode, and here we are, Here we Are

96
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:29,040
Speaker 2: will be the last.

97
00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:33,240
Speaker 1: So my highlight reel for this episode was, well, first

98
00:04:33,279 --> 00:04:36,200
Speaker 1: of all, the word fault. It just pushes so many

99
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:40,080
Speaker 1: buttons for me, like I'm definitely the person that's brainwired

100
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,880
Speaker 1: and from my childhood and still to this day working

101
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:47,640
Speaker 1: on like things happen, and I perceive everything as my

102
00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:51,320
Speaker 1: fault and as me being bad and and I mean,

103
00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,840
Speaker 1: I really do struggle with that, and and I'm sure

104
00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:56,839
Speaker 1: there are sometimes when things are my fault, but everything

105
00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:00,880
Speaker 1: isn't my fault, and I really do take that on

106
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,840
Speaker 1: and so that kind of came up for me when

107
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:07,280
Speaker 1: I saw the title. But in this episode, we are

108
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:11,320
Speaker 1: looking at kids who are well behaved. Those are Susans

109
00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:16,000
Speaker 1: and well maybe yeah, right maybe, and Lynettes who are

110
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:20,880
Speaker 1: not obviously, and Brie gets revealed really with the title

111
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:24,120
Speaker 1: now like maybe we could have guessed, but like now

112
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:27,200
Speaker 1: she actually gets the label of a Republican And when

113
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:30,080
Speaker 1: that happened, I don't know, I was kind of mind

114
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:34,560
Speaker 1: blown because obviously Republican party very different two thousand and

115
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:37,320
Speaker 1: five than it is now. But they actually in the

116
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:41,760
Speaker 1: episode they talk about her. She says guns, she talks

117
00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,800
Speaker 1: about immigration, I mean the death penalty. Yeah, I mean,

118
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:50,920
Speaker 1: I don't know. I know that our podcast isn't necessarily

119
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:54,880
Speaker 1: politically bent, but it was a very big thing, and

120
00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:57,320
Speaker 1: I mean it would be interesting to well, I can

121
00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:00,240
Speaker 1: only imagine how Marsha feels about it, and it made

122
00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:03,520
Speaker 1: me I can I know, I can very much imagine

123
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:06,480
Speaker 1: how she feel about it now, But I don't think

124
00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:10,000
Speaker 1: I ever talked to her about where this landed for

125
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,960
Speaker 1: her emotionally when she was doing it in two thousand

126
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,960
Speaker 1: and five, I sort of like, vaguely, I feel like

127
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:19,000
Speaker 1: there must have been an election in there, like it

128
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:22,960
Speaker 1: maybe it was between Obama and Yeah, it would have

129
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:26,680
Speaker 1: been two thousand and was it Mitt Romney and Obama?

130
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,800
Speaker 2: It was before Obama.

131
00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:31,200
Speaker 1: Because Obama was eight, But I'm still there were there

132
00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:34,479
Speaker 1: were political conversations on the set, which is why I

133
00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,200
Speaker 1: know that she's a liberal. You know.

134
00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:38,920
Speaker 2: Oh, you know, I was going to say, I've actually

135
00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:41,159
Speaker 2: been at just in this last election of the election

136
00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:44,920
Speaker 2: before letter writing and canvassing parties that Marcia has been at.

137
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:48,000
Speaker 2: I mean, I know she's very right, and it's.

138
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:51,080
Speaker 1: It's not my position to talk about her politics, but

139
00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:57,080
Speaker 1: it really did. Because the world is so politically divided now,

140
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,400
Speaker 1: and it is in the forefront of our news every

141
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:02,400
Speaker 1: second of every day, it did really strike me, like,

142
00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:06,320
Speaker 1: and I wondered, wow, would you do that now? Like,

143
00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:09,880
Speaker 1: how would that play out now? Mm hmmmm breathing a

144
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:10,720
Speaker 1: Republican now.

145
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,720
Speaker 3: I thought it was interesting too, that because she's that's

146
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,080
Speaker 3: the only character that we're really learning any sort of

147
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:20,600
Speaker 3: political viewpoint about, because these are things, these themes of

148
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:23,559
Speaker 3: gun ownership and other things come up. And and she's

149
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:26,360
Speaker 3: expressing to George in this scene at the diner, which

150
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,400
Speaker 3: I love a diner. Gosh, I love a diner. It

151
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,080
Speaker 3: was nice to see a diner up here on the show.

152
00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:34,600
Speaker 1: I went to a diner yesterday, Yes, yes, from San Francisco.

153
00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:34,960
Speaker 2: Yeah.

154
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,640
Speaker 1: I had hash browns and coffee and just the way

155
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:38,320
Speaker 1: you would do it.

156
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,200
Speaker 3: Perfect diner food. But I did think it made me

157
00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:45,440
Speaker 3: think about, you know how, because we're in such politically

158
00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:49,840
Speaker 3: divisive times. I wonder, when newly navigating a relationship that

159
00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:54,480
Speaker 3: bre like like Brion George are politics, I wonder, how

160
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:55,520
Speaker 3: quickly does it have to come up?

161
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:55,680
Speaker 2: Now?

162
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,120
Speaker 3: Probably has to come up pretty early on, you know,

163
00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:02,120
Speaker 3: because it's it's such a.

164
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:03,440
Speaker 1: Oh, I think it's so at the forefront now that

165
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,600
Speaker 1: I think family members don't talk to each other, you

166
00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,920
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like, I think, you know, friends

167
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,680
Speaker 1: are unfriending each other, and I mean that in a

168
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:13,480
Speaker 1: in a sad way. That's where we're at. But I

169
00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:16,320
Speaker 1: would imagine, I mean, I when I used to be

170
00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:18,280
Speaker 1: on a dating app, which I am not anymore and

171
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,640
Speaker 1: haven't been for a long time, but when I was,

172
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,640
Speaker 1: there would be people that would you would come across

173
00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:25,920
Speaker 1: and it would say like, if you're a trumper, don't

174
00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:28,960
Speaker 1: bother you know, and vice versa, right, no, depending on

175
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,240
Speaker 1: That was definitely something people let you know.

176
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:34,920
Speaker 3: And in this instance, Brie was reflecting, as you know,

177
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,240
Speaker 3: on this as part of how she and Rex fell

178
00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,760
Speaker 3: in love. It's part of It's such an integral part

179
00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:39,560
Speaker 3: in their love story.

180
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:43,520
Speaker 2: And in this episode, you know, we really see their

181
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,720
Speaker 2: divorce like play out in a way that we've not

182
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:49,520
Speaker 2: really seen divorce addressed before, and we see a lot

183
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:53,600
Speaker 2: of familial relationships come to light in this episode. You know,

184
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:58,360
Speaker 2: we have Susan seeing Julie's relationship with Zach. We have

185
00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:03,400
Speaker 2: John's parents come to Gabby to demand that she kind

186
00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:06,120
Speaker 2: of reinsert herself in John's life to try to convince

187
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,640
Speaker 2: him to go to college.

188
00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:10,640
Speaker 1: Can I like, can we just like hone in on

189
00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:14,080
Speaker 1: that for a little bit because I was so interested that.

190
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:19,000
Speaker 1: So what happens here is that John the Gardner's the

191
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:24,640
Speaker 1: high school students Gardner. I think he turns eighteen, yeah,

192
00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:25,920
Speaker 1: and he's going to go to college.

193
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,880
Speaker 2: That's why his parents don't have any control over him,

194
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:28,439
Speaker 2: right because.

195
00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:31,200
Speaker 1: He's eighteen eighteen, but he wasn't at the time. And

196
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:34,920
Speaker 1: the parents come to Gabby because he's made this decision

197
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:38,760
Speaker 1: to not go follow through with his college scholarship, and

198
00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:41,760
Speaker 1: they want her. They threaten her that if you don't

199
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,440
Speaker 1: change his mind, we're going to go to the police.

200
00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:47,640
Speaker 1: But in that conversation, the mom actually uses the words

201
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:51,240
Speaker 1: statutory rape. And I remember talking to you guys a

202
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:54,640
Speaker 1: couple episodes about about I don't really recall if this,

203
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:58,720
Speaker 1: if this storyline ever played out, if it really ever like,

204
00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:01,840
Speaker 1: did we ever call it by its name? And I

205
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,680
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I guess we did. In episode thirteen

206
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,360
Speaker 1: we called it by its name, statutory rape. And so

207
00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:09,760
Speaker 1: the other the thing that bothered me that this is

208
00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:12,160
Speaker 1: what I wanted to get into with you. I could

209
00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:16,120
Speaker 1: not get over how creepy this dad is. I was

210
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:20,880
Speaker 1: so put off. But he basically says to Gabby, I'm

211
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,720
Speaker 1: okay with what you did with John, and by the way,

212
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,000
Speaker 1: I kind of wish you had done it with me,

213
00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,400
Speaker 1: or that I would have been able to do something

214
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,000
Speaker 1: like that when I was his age, And it just

215
00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:35,079
Speaker 1: the ick factor, and I just kept thinking if this

216
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:39,360
Speaker 1: was reversed, if this was Carlos that had had an

217
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,840
Speaker 1: affair with a sixteen seventeen year old high school girl

218
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:47,280
Speaker 1: and those parents had come over, there's no way that that,

219
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,480
Speaker 1: you know, mom would have been going, oh, this is

220
00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:54,080
Speaker 1: a great I wish this had happened to me when

221
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:55,360
Speaker 1: I was in high school. You know.

222
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,559
Speaker 2: Well, I think this made me think a lot about

223
00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,880
Speaker 2: actually another macro theme of this episode, which is kind

224
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:07,320
Speaker 2: of generalized sexism, especially in terms of how it relates

225
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:10,880
Speaker 2: to men, because this is exactly what you're saying. This

226
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,440
Speaker 2: moment stood out to me a lot too. Of It's

227
00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:18,520
Speaker 2: almost like, obviously John the Gardner's mom is livid, but

228
00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:22,400
Speaker 2: his dad is almost like, well, this is permissible and cool.

229
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,960
Speaker 2: Because the subtext I read into that scene is Gabby's hot.

230
00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:29,480
Speaker 3: Right, It's fine because look at you, You're so hot.

231
00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:31,960
Speaker 2: I wish I'd been able to do something like you

232
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:35,559
Speaker 2: when I was my son's age. And this really trickles

233
00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:37,600
Speaker 2: into the one other storyline, which I know we'll dive

234
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:40,120
Speaker 2: into all these storylines more and you know, use them

235
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:44,120
Speaker 2: as springboards for some larger conversations. But which is Lynette

236
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:48,920
Speaker 2: learning that Tom's dad is having an affair and the

237
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:52,840
Speaker 2: way that also not just the fact that he's having

238
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:53,640
Speaker 2: an affair, but.

239
00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:55,719
Speaker 3: The comment at the top of the episode two when

240
00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:57,960
Speaker 3: Parker's stuck up on the roof exactly and it won't

241
00:11:57,960 --> 00:11:59,360
Speaker 3: come down, and he's like, let me take a stab

242
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,280
Speaker 3: at it and climb up to the ladder, and he

243
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:06,200
Speaker 3: uses motivating language such such as, don't be a girly girl.

244
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:08,480
Speaker 3: Are you a girly girl? Because only girly girls stay

245
00:12:08,559 --> 00:12:10,120
Speaker 3: up on the roof and won't climb down the ladder.

246
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,040
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm paraphrasing, but I know about you is

247
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,080
Speaker 3: girly girl.

248
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,320
Speaker 1: You know missus Tom's dad that's saying this to Tom's dad.

249
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:18,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that enraged me.

250
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:21,679
Speaker 2: No, there are so yeah, so many themes of sexism.

251
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:25,439
Speaker 2: I mean also Rex having an affair being permissible versus

252
00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:29,719
Speaker 2: bree it not being permissible that she's flirting with the

253
00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:35,520
Speaker 2: pharmacist George. I also think about Susan being so worried

254
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:39,320
Speaker 2: about Julie, and she says to Paul when she confronts

255
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:43,160
Speaker 2: Paul about Julian Zach's relationship, she says, well, you're not

256
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:45,200
Speaker 2: worried about it, but I have to be worried about

257
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:46,679
Speaker 2: it because she's the girl.

258
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,600
Speaker 3: Right, Like you're the father of the boy, but I'm

259
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:50,800
Speaker 3: the mother of the girl.

260
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:51,240
Speaker 1: Yeah.

261
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:54,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, lots lots to dive into in terms of.

262
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,880
Speaker 3: Well take it away, Yeah, pick one, pick one of

263
00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:59,200
Speaker 3: those categories. And let's let's talk about the Julie. Let's

264
00:12:59,200 --> 00:12:59,959
Speaker 3: talk about the delays.

265
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:05,840
Speaker 1: Because you played Julie so fat, I have questions about

266
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:10,200
Speaker 1: do you remember doing these scenes with Cody, Like what

267
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,360
Speaker 1: was that? Like, can you tell us about that? I

268
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,720
Speaker 1: have very loose again like I did about the Edie

269
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,760
Speaker 1: Susan stuff, but I do kind of have loose memories

270
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,280
Speaker 1: about working him when when he has that explosion that

271
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:25,359
Speaker 1: throws to furniture. Yeah, but tell us about your relationship

272
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:25,680
Speaker 1: with him.

273
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:29,160
Speaker 3: I do remember I remember what it was like filming

274
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:32,600
Speaker 3: these scenes. I remember the intimacy of these scenes, having

275
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:35,120
Speaker 3: to kiss, you know, not knowing the timing of that,

276
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:38,520
Speaker 3: because Susan comes in on us kissing, so we being

277
00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:40,079
Speaker 3: feeling a little bit awkward as to when do we

278
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,360
Speaker 3: start this? Do we start it before he says action,

279
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:45,160
Speaker 3: because it's it's supposed to be going on before you

280
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:48,040
Speaker 3: come in, you know. So I remember feeling very nervous

281
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,959
Speaker 3: about those things. I also remember, and I say this

282
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,480
Speaker 3: because I really enjoyed working with Cody, and I think

283
00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:57,160
Speaker 3: he is a very talented actor, and I think we

284
00:13:57,280 --> 00:14:00,960
Speaker 3: both really enjoyed working together. But I I will call

285
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:05,040
Speaker 3: him out on he was a smoker at the time,

286
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:09,440
Speaker 3: and maybe not like a big time smoker, but he

287
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,640
Speaker 3: would smoke and then we would have to kiss. And

288
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,760
Speaker 3: I was like, I was not in a position being

289
00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:16,680
Speaker 3: young to say, hey, can you.

290
00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:19,240
Speaker 1: Not do that?

291
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,000
Speaker 3: That was a thing for me.

292
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,360
Speaker 2: What was your age to friends, because this is a

293
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:26,480
Speaker 2: weird thing about child actors being cast in relationships with

294
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,920
Speaker 2: other actors playing kids.

295
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:31,280
Speaker 3: I think so I was fourteen at this time, and

296
00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:34,040
Speaker 3: I think he was seventeen or eighteen. I know he

297
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:37,280
Speaker 3: had taken the SATs because I remember during the pilot

298
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:39,880
Speaker 3: when we were filming. I don't know if you remember this.

299
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:43,840
Speaker 3: I mean I think you remember this. But we kind

300
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:46,720
Speaker 3: of had a looser, weirder schedule with the pilot, Like

301
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:50,040
Speaker 3: I was called on days when I wasn't even necessarily

302
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,520
Speaker 3: on the schedule to work, but I was there, okay.

303
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:55,520
Speaker 3: And so we had a lot of time in that

304
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,600
Speaker 3: house that we filmed the wake at in Pasadena. I

305
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:01,600
Speaker 3: think we filmed it at Pasadena. And so at the time,

306
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,200
Speaker 3: I was in school, so I had to be doing

307
00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:08,000
Speaker 3: the child labor laws, you know, studio teaching stuff. But

308
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,640
Speaker 3: Cody still was but he was annoyed about it because

309
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,640
Speaker 3: he was just about to take the SATs and so

310
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:14,240
Speaker 3: he was like, I'm basically done. I don't have to

311
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,000
Speaker 3: sit in here and do this, you know. So there

312
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,360
Speaker 3: was that age gap, so he was either seventeen or eighteen.

313
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,560
Speaker 1: Was there any like did he feel uncomfortable about having

314
00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:23,440
Speaker 1: to kiss a fourteen year old? I don't or was

315
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,200
Speaker 1: it both like you were professional actors.

316
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:28,120
Speaker 3: I mean we both leaned on the side of wanting

317
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:31,720
Speaker 3: to be perceived as professional actors and approaching it like

318
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:35,000
Speaker 3: we are just adults doing our job. I don't know.

319
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,560
Speaker 3: I can't speak to if he felt. I imagine there

320
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:40,440
Speaker 3: probably was. In his real life. He wasn't probably kissing

321
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,520
Speaker 3: fourteen year old girls, so I imagine there was a

322
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:45,400
Speaker 3: little bit of awkwardness for him on that end. But also,

323
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:48,080
Speaker 3: as I've mentioned in other episodes where these things have

324
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:51,600
Speaker 3: come up, it was me playing out things that we

325
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,000
Speaker 3: were not happening to me yet.

326
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,560
Speaker 1: Had you technically at that point not kissed a boy.

327
00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:59,560
Speaker 3: I had kissed, I had kissed a boy before, but

328
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,920
Speaker 3: I was in dating. You know, Julie and Zach are

329
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:06,200
Speaker 3: developing a little bit of a relationship. I hadn't done that.

330
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:09,080
Speaker 3: I hadn't, you know, gone to school dances because as

331
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:12,440
Speaker 3: I mentioned, I was alone on sect, just me in

332
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,800
Speaker 3: my shadow dancing in the trailer.

333
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,240
Speaker 1: Did give yourself a corso?

334
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:20,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, no, no, but but but it's sweet seeing it.

335
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,040
Speaker 3: I think it's very sweet watching it back. It's kind

336
00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:26,040
Speaker 3: of a weird insight I get to have. I guess

337
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:29,560
Speaker 3: we don't get to watch ourselves as a teenage kids

338
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:33,240
Speaker 3: kissing people or having awkward school dances.

339
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:33,880
Speaker 2: Which thank god.

340
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,560
Speaker 3: No, I mean for the majority of people, they're like,

341
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,520
Speaker 3: thank god, But I try to reframe it in the

342
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,560
Speaker 3: context of that's kind of cool. I get to see

343
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:41,120
Speaker 3: this secret little well.

344
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:45,120
Speaker 1: I think that other people to be impressed with how

345
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:50,480
Speaker 1: good you were, like and how I know, just how

346
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:53,880
Speaker 1: I feel like it was really honestly a fourteen year

347
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:56,680
Speaker 1: old where whereas like it was a middle of the

348
00:16:56,720 --> 00:17:00,800
Speaker 1: country fourteen year old, as opposed to like euphoria where

349
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,360
Speaker 1: the fourteen year olds are what they're up to? Do

350
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:05,439
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? It was a real and

351
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,960
Speaker 1: I like that. I like how it worked within the show.

352
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,600
Speaker 1: Like I I didn't tell you were just great. I

353
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:14,040
Speaker 1: thought you were so great. So do you remember the

354
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:18,600
Speaker 1: actual kissing? I do? Do you remember any other? It

355
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,399
Speaker 1: makes me think because I have one onscreen kiss that

356
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:25,920
Speaker 1: stands out in my career that I probably have talked

357
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:29,879
Speaker 1: about somewhere. But to tell you, it was with Pierce

358
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:32,520
Speaker 1: Brosnan and it was in Tomorrow Never Dies. And it

359
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,640
Speaker 1: was when you were in that movie too, by the way,

360
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,720
Speaker 1: because I was pregnant, So maybe you have a reflection

361
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:41,120
Speaker 1: of this kiss also. I don't know. Oh yes, but

362
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:44,600
Speaker 1: we were, you know, having to kiss over and over,

363
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:50,160
Speaker 1: you know, in the scene and he sort of bit

364
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:56,560
Speaker 1: me like like like like I don't know, I'm sure

365
00:17:56,920 --> 00:18:00,920
Speaker 1: that he didn't mean to, but whatever the structure, like

366
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:04,040
Speaker 1: like whatever the structure was, by the end of it,

367
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:07,120
Speaker 1: I was bleeding on the one side of my mouth, Like, yeah.

368
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,000
Speaker 3: I thought it was going to be like it was

369
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:11,399
Speaker 3: so good. I remember it because it was such a

370
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:14,240
Speaker 3: fabulous kiss. But but you remember it because you have

371
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:15,359
Speaker 3: a scar from it.

372
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:19,479
Speaker 1: I don't think it was that deep, but it was,

373
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:23,639
Speaker 1: like and I that's just interesting. And I remember feeling

374
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:29,280
Speaker 1: the power is dichotomy the right word of like he

375
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,480
Speaker 1: was James Bond, and I was like, this little actress

376
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:36,439
Speaker 1: who was just playing this small role was not about

377
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,000
Speaker 1: to pull anybody aside and go by the way, I

378
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:42,159
Speaker 1: think he's biting me. It's not very comfortable, like you know,

379
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:47,320
Speaker 1: you just I just tolerated it. Yeah, And it's just

380
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:51,480
Speaker 1: a weird like I'm it's a weird thing.

381
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,280
Speaker 3: It's a weird thing as part of our job to

382
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:54,640
Speaker 3: ever show up and kiss people.

383
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:56,439
Speaker 1: And I guess that's what I'm saying, like do you

384
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,239
Speaker 1: remember this kiss or other kisses? Like it is a

385
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:02,160
Speaker 1: weird part. I think if people want behind the scene,

386
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:06,040
Speaker 1: it's a weird part of your job. Any kind of

387
00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:09,760
Speaker 1: sexual kissing or whatever.

388
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:15,360
Speaker 3: I remember feeling embarrassed doing it. I do remember, because

389
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:18,560
Speaker 3: I could. While I knew, Okay, this is your job

390
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,240
Speaker 3: on set today, I was still a fourteen year old

391
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:24,080
Speaker 3: girl who wasn't used to doing this. I didn't have

392
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:26,359
Speaker 3: the ability. When I work on things now as an

393
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:29,600
Speaker 3: adult and there's kissing scenes and there's things like that,

394
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,959
Speaker 3: it's such a different experience than doing it as a child.

395
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,600
Speaker 3: I remember the embarrassment of doing it in front of

396
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,720
Speaker 3: the crew. I remember the embarrassment of not wanting my

397
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,960
Speaker 3: mom to stand by the monitor and watch. I remember

398
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,800
Speaker 3: feeling my face get really hot.

399
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:48,240
Speaker 1: My face is hot right now, I'm telling you, I'm sure.

400
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:53,800
Speaker 3: And also just that thing of trying to trying to

401
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,880
Speaker 3: wire my brain to treat it just like any other

402
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,679
Speaker 3: scene with any other actor and not get caught up

403
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:03,280
Speaker 3: in the intimacy of it. But I wonder now, in

404
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:07,320
Speaker 3: today's climate, if people are more sensitive to the fact

405
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:10,720
Speaker 3: that miners are doing these things that are intimate for

406
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:13,040
Speaker 3: anyone of any age, but certainly those well they have

407
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:14,200
Speaker 3: intacy coaches.

408
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, there's not a thing so I think

409
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,800
Speaker 1: neither of these scenarios would happen anymore, because I would

410
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,560
Speaker 1: go over to this person and I would say, listen,

411
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:22,919
Speaker 1: I don't want to be rude, and I'm sure he

412
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,800
Speaker 1: doesn't mean it. And he's a really nice guy and

413
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:26,639
Speaker 1: he's a fabulous acker, and he's James Bond, and he's

414
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:29,919
Speaker 1: James Bond. But something is happening that is resulting in

415
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,680
Speaker 1: me feeling like I'm getting cut on the inside of

416
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:33,080
Speaker 1: my mouth.

417
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:36,600
Speaker 2: Also, even before that, you would rehearse and talk through

418
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,679
Speaker 2: in depth the level of what you were going to

419
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:40,639
Speaker 2: do in the kiss. I mean, that is what intimacy

420
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,679
Speaker 2: coordinators are for now on set, and I just think

421
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:47,679
Speaker 2: there's so many more conversations happening around it. But I'm curious, okay,

422
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:51,200
Speaker 2: to the fact of your mom standing by the monitory

423
00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:55,800
Speaker 2: and you feeling uncomfortable thematically, And I also really want

424
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:59,000
Speaker 2: to hear what you remember, mom about filming from your

425
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:04,120
Speaker 2: perspective these scenes where Susan is really essentially saying Julie

426
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:07,480
Speaker 2: is too young to be having this type of relationship.

427
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,760
Speaker 3: She mentions her age twice in this episode.

428
00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:23,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, what are your thoughts now on is fourteen too

429
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,840
Speaker 2: young to be having your first kiss? That is kind

430
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:29,200
Speaker 2: of I mean, honestly, sometimes twelve, like around that time

431
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,480
Speaker 2: that I think kids start to experiment with stuff like that,

432
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:37,960
Speaker 2: and how difficult is it to navigate your child's sexuality

433
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,360
Speaker 2: as a parent. I don't necessarily mean you know who

434
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,400
Speaker 2: they are attracted to, but the fact that they are

435
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,320
Speaker 2: exploring what it means to be and.

436
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,080
Speaker 1: You're almost twenty eight and I can't imagine what you're

437
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:48,920
Speaker 1: doing now.

438
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:50,879
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm glad.

439
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:54,560
Speaker 1: You're not right. No, I think it's I think it's

440
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:58,199
Speaker 1: really tricky. I mean, I think within the show and

441
00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 1: on the set, I was very much of a second mom,

442
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 1: and I mean at least I took that role on

443
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:08,080
Speaker 1: and wanting to make sure that you were okay, set detected,

444
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:13,480
Speaker 1: and so I think I've probably felt that way. But also,

445
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:17,680
Speaker 1: I mean, feel free to talk about like I'm pretty

446
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 1: conservative in this area. I think. I also feel like

447
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:27,080
Speaker 1: females have great consequence to when they begin to explore

448
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:31,520
Speaker 1: their sexuality, and I think the consequence that is weighted

449
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:37,280
Speaker 1: in against the female, you know, isn't also bolstered by

450
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:43,000
Speaker 1: their mental judgment, and I think that can lead to

451
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 1: difficult consequences that are going to end up in a

452
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:51,560
Speaker 1: girl's lap. As opposed to the boys. And I know

453
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:55,080
Speaker 1: Susan makes that point, like that's what she's saying, but

454
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:59,640
Speaker 1: I think I think I probably also raised you from

455
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:02,119
Speaker 1: that point of view. Listen, when you're a mom and

456
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:05,240
Speaker 1: you're going to find this out. It is a crazy

457
00:23:05,359 --> 00:23:07,680
Speaker 1: thing to have two things working at the same time,

458
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:12,480
Speaker 1: which is one you're trying to create and grow and

459
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:18,239
Speaker 1: be a part of posturing up, you know, propping up

460
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:24,720
Speaker 1: a beautiful, independent, well rounded, capable human being, and on

461
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 1: the other hand, you're like, please never leave your room.

462
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:28,560
Speaker 1: I'd like to be in control of you for the

463
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:32,560
Speaker 1: rest of my life. Like it is basically both happening

464
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 1: at the same time, and so it is a very

465
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 1: odd thing where you're trying to marry an understanding that

466
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:42,320
Speaker 1: part of growing up is beginning to be curious about

467
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 1: sexual things, but also knowing that your frontal lobe doesn't

468
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,840
Speaker 1: fully develop until you're twenty five. And then when you

469
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,919
Speaker 1: complicate it with governmental things like you're allowed to drive

470
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:58,159
Speaker 1: at sixteen, which I find insane, but you can't you

471
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:01,159
Speaker 1: can vote at eighteen, but you can't drink until twenty one.

472
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,879
Speaker 1: Like it's all mashed up in a way that I

473
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 1: don't think makes a lot of sense, right.

474
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,920
Speaker 3: Like the metrics for when someone's old enough to do

475
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:10,960
Speaker 3: one thing versus another don't really line up, and so

476
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,680
Speaker 3: a parent has to make those decisions for themselves. Do

477
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 3: you remember how old you were when you started dating?

478
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, I have so much to say about that,

479
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 2: because I was cracking up about Susan. In some ways,

480
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:26,800
Speaker 2: Susan's response to Julie, the way she is so protective

481
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:29,680
Speaker 2: did actually remind me of you as a mom when

482
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 2: I was around Julie's age, And I think it's like

483
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,000
Speaker 2: one of the few times that I was like, oh,

484
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:40,000
Speaker 2: that actually sort of feels like I could see Terry,

485
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:44,600
Speaker 2: my mom, like having a similar reaction now, I Emerson,

486
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:47,920
Speaker 2: Terry's daughter would never have had the balls to be

487
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:52,399
Speaker 2: kissing someone at the kitchen table where just anyone couldn't

488
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:53,080
Speaker 2: walk in and see.

489
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 1: At your dad's house, probably maybe, I mean, I do

490
00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:59,320
Speaker 1: think that benefits as right, you have a second house

491
00:24:59,400 --> 00:24:59,879
Speaker 1: to go to with.

492
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,440
Speaker 2: Truly, it's so interesting because Mom, you and I are

493
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:06,440
Speaker 2: so close now, and like, as an adult, I think

494
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 2: we talk about sex and dating. I mean, you know,

495
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:12,200
Speaker 2: not the graphic any you know, whatever, details of life.

496
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:13,360
Speaker 3: Communication is very open.

497
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:17,440
Speaker 2: It's very open, and I did not feel that way

498
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:24,160
Speaker 2: when we when I was you know, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen,

499
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:27,920
Speaker 2: maybe even I feel like, well around eighteen, like around

500
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:29,480
Speaker 2: the time I went off to college, I feel like

501
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 2: that became more of a part of our relationship. But

502
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,200
Speaker 2: I do think when I was younger, and it makes

503
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:38,040
Speaker 2: sense that I think you for various ways that you

504
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,000
Speaker 2: grew up and things that you dealt with as a

505
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:43,080
Speaker 2: young child like that you would take a maybe more

506
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:49,200
Speaker 2: protective bent on dating. Does not mean I didn't date

507
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,880
Speaker 2: and talk about the benefits of divorce. I think sometimes

508
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,680
Speaker 2: a guy would ask me to hang out when I

509
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 2: was in like early high school, and I'd be like,

510
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:56,960
Speaker 2: ask me next weekend.

511
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:03,439
Speaker 1: Uras comes out on a podcast, but clever.

512
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:06,399
Speaker 2: I you know, it's funny that you mentioned Cody and

513
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 2: yours age difference because actually, and this is now, I

514
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 2: as a twenty eight year old, am cringing at this guy.

515
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 2: I mean, he was a perfectly nice first official boyfriend. Okay,

516
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 2: was a senior when I was a freshman in high school,

517
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 2: and I that is a round. I mean I think

518
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:34,360
Speaker 2: I was fifteen, but that is like around the age difference.

519
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:38,080
Speaker 2: And then we actually even dated into when I was

520
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:41,840
Speaker 2: a sophomore in high school and he was a freshman

521
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 2: in college. I mean briefly, that only lasted a couple

522
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 2: of months.

523
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:48,359
Speaker 1: Do I know who this is? You don't know.

524
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 2: We went to the state where he went to college

525
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:55,400
Speaker 2: together to visit him. He came to a fancy restaurant.

526
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, yeah. I think I did feel weird

527
00:26:59,280 --> 00:26:59,600
Speaker 1: about that.

528
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 2: At the time. No, and now as an adult, I

529
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:03,880
Speaker 2: look back on that and I think, you know, of course,

530
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,119
Speaker 2: why did I let that happen. I don't know. I mean,

531
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:07,719
Speaker 2: we went to the same school, that is how, that's

532
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:10,280
Speaker 2: how we knew each other. But and I felt very

533
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:15,080
Speaker 2: mature for my age or whatever. But I do think,

534
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,920
Speaker 2: I mean, I think that's a strange age gup. And

535
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,439
Speaker 2: now that was not I wasn't sleeping with him. I mean,

536
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 2: I think, you know, it was still tame. It was

537
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 2: still tame. But I do think that is just it's

538
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,960
Speaker 2: a very interesting I have so many kind of around

539
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:34,639
Speaker 2: that time. First kiss. I remember even before that, like

540
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 2: in the arc Light, back when arc Light was a

541
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 2: movie theater still in Los Angeles, going with two of

542
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,560
Speaker 2: my best girlfriends and they brought some guy and like

543
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 2: his friends from their school. We didn't go to the

544
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:45,639
Speaker 2: same school, and it was like, Oh, we're all going

545
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 2: to go see Looper, but actually we're going to make

546
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 2: out in the back of the movie theater, something I

547
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 2: never do because I don't want to miss the movie.

548
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 3: Now, Yeah, I think it's interesting because this is bleeding

549
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:58,000
Speaker 3: into another storyline in this episode a little bit, which

550
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 3: is in this instance, in the Jewel Zac Susan Paul thing,

551
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:05,399
Speaker 3: we're kind of talking about parents inserting themselves into their

552
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:08,320
Speaker 3: children's relationships, which is different. But in the Lynette and

553
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:13,879
Speaker 3: Tom and his dad storyline, you have Lynette inserting herself

554
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 3: into his father's relationship. And I thought this was I

555
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:23,160
Speaker 3: thought there was a lot to talk about here. Obviously,

556
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 3: Lynette is horrified to learn that Tom's dad is having

557
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,359
Speaker 3: an affair. She has a lot of feelings about it.

558
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,200
Speaker 3: She's a little bit appalled by Tom's lack of reaction.

559
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:35,359
Speaker 3: She then learns that he's known about it, not this

560
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:37,879
Speaker 3: specific one, but other affairs, and it opens up this

561
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 3: whole line of conversation between the two of them about

562
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 3: affairs and how he feels about his dad and all

563
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 3: of that, but it did make me curious for you, guys,

564
00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 3: if you've ever been in a position where you've had

565
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:51,720
Speaker 3: to or felt a desire to offer an opinion on

566
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 3: someone else's relationship that you're close with.

567
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 1: I think the only time this ever came up for

568
00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 1: me was I had a friend who had been in

569
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 1: a long term marriage and the husband was revealed to

570
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,360
Speaker 1: have fall in love with another woman and was having

571
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 1: an affair. And what I remember mostly is that all

572
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 1: of her friends were like, get divorced, get divorced, get divorced,

573
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 1: Like it was just immediately that that, you know, just

574
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:20,880
Speaker 1: get divorced, and I wasn't sure that she wanted to

575
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 1: get divorced, and so I feel like I was the

576
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:25,880
Speaker 1: one friend at the time who sort of held space

577
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 1: for it to be okay, for her to process this

578
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 1: how she needed to. And I think what they ultimately

579
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 1: ended up doing was a lot of years of trust rebuilding,

580
00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 1: but ultimately stayed together. And you know, I have a

581
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:46,120
Speaker 1: lot of I'm in respect for that because I'm sure

582
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 1: that took a lot of work and bravery and vulnerability

583
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 1: on both of their parts. But it shows me as

584
00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 1: an example that affairs can be conquered. And also I

585
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 1: looked at this part of the story, you know, when

586
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 1: Tom reveals that the mom has basically not necessarily been

587
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:07,120
Speaker 1: in on it, but sort of like in their words,

588
00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 1: I think like kind of made her peace with this

589
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 1: is her husband's behavior, and this is he goes out

590
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 1: and he has these relationships with this woman or that woman,

591
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 1: and that you know, it's sort of okay with her.

592
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:20,440
Speaker 1: And we don't meet her, so we don't know if

593
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 1: that's really true or not. But what it did make

594
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:26,760
Speaker 1: me think is like we can be very judgmental about

595
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:30,520
Speaker 1: how what is the right way to be in a relationship,

596
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:34,240
Speaker 1: and I think that that is a mistake. I think

597
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 1: that in general, we are all too hard on each other,

598
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 1: too judgmental of each other. You just don't know what

599
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,080
Speaker 1: people are going through, and we should all just lead

600
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 1: with a lot more, just give people some grace because

601
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 1: you just don't know. And it's also none of your business.

602
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 3: It's people's relationship. It's their rules that they're comfortable with,

603
00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:00,960
Speaker 3: it's the contract that they entered into, and it's very individual.

604
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:03,840
Speaker 3: Every relationship is so unique to the two people or

605
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 3: three or four however many are involved.

606
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,840
Speaker 1: I mean I always tell, you know, bringing it back

607
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:11,040
Speaker 1: to politics a little bit, like something that had been

608
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 1: going on like in the last year for Emerson. And

609
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:15,120
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think I'm speaking out of turn

610
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:16,800
Speaker 1: to talk about this, but no, I what you're about

611
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:19,280
Speaker 1: to say bringing up like how you were having a

612
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:23,360
Speaker 1: lot of anxiety about gay people's ability to get married

613
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 1: in the US and is that something that's at risk,

614
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 1: and yes it is and where is that going and

615
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:33,520
Speaker 1: what can anybody do about it? And I along with

616
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:37,080
Speaker 1: just sharing the anxiety about me not being on the

617
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 1: side of thinking that that's reasonable, but beyond that, I

618
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:47,400
Speaker 1: would say to Emerson, set aside that issue. I have

619
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:51,440
Speaker 1: never I have been saying this for forty years. I

620
00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:53,960
Speaker 1: don't think the government should be involved in anyone's marriage,

621
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:57,920
Speaker 1: Like I just don't see it as a governmental thing.

622
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 1: And the only reason I think it became it like

623
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 1: decades ago, was in order for the government to get

624
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:09,680
Speaker 1: taxes or you know, get like it became a financial thing,

625
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 1: which has nothing to do with the the honoring, the resolution,

626
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:20,760
Speaker 1: the commitment, the spirituality, the community of your wedding and

627
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:25,360
Speaker 1: the people that are committed to supporting you as a couple.

628
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:28,840
Speaker 1: Like all of that is so beautiful and so worthwhiled,

629
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:31,880
Speaker 1: but has nothing to do with the government. So I'm

630
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 1: just sort of like, get married, but don't involve the

631
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 1: government anyway. You know. That's my two sents.

632
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:41,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean I agree. I agree that I

633
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 2: think the central component to me of a marriage and

634
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 2: of that contract you decide to enter into with someone

635
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:53,120
Speaker 2: is to say we are going to we want to

636
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:55,880
Speaker 2: go through this life together, you know. And I think

637
00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:58,600
Speaker 2: we do live in a country and generally marriage is

638
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 2: set up now, so yes, they're benefits. There are laws

639
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 2: around if you're visiting in a hospital, if you're you know,

640
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:07,280
Speaker 2: and I think that everyone who is in any type

641
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 2: of committed partnership should just that should be recognized. I

642
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 2: recognize that that is maybe you know why the government

643
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:17,400
Speaker 2: is involved, and it's obviously very upsetting that, you know,

644
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 2: we have a government that wants to recognize those types

645
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:23,360
Speaker 2: of rights but for certain individuals and not for others,

646
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:25,760
Speaker 2: when really it's about who do you want to choose

647
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:29,400
Speaker 2: to be your support system through life? I mean, I

648
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:31,680
Speaker 2: really think that is. You know, you choose that in

649
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 2: your friends, and then you say, okay, I want my

650
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 2: primary point person to be this person and maybe.

651
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 3: It has really come into play in important ways in

652
00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 3: your life. It can and see those barriers regardless of

653
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:46,600
Speaker 3: whether or not we think it's right or wrong. We

654
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 3: do live in a society where the government is involved,

655
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 3: and so that access that we grant some is so necessary,

656
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,080
Speaker 3: and when we decide that other people don't deserve it

657
00:33:57,280 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 3: is just so un fair, soul crushing and unreasonable. And yeah,

658
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:09,719
Speaker 3: I had a personal experience that I found really impactful

659
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 3: in my early twenties with a friend of mine who

660
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:15,840
Speaker 3: was dating someone who was not treating her well. And

661
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 3: I had witnessed him not treating her well enough times,

662
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 3: and I'd had a lot of conversations with her about it.

663
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:23,279
Speaker 3: She and I are very very close. She'd come to

664
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 3: me a lot about it. I'd given her about all

665
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:27,160
Speaker 3: of the advice that I felt like I could. I

666
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:31,799
Speaker 3: didn't have any more to give, And the last thing

667
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 3: that I could do was sort of recognize that I

668
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,399
Speaker 3: can't control what she does, and it is very much

669
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 3: her decision. If she wants to continue putting up with it,

670
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:41,720
Speaker 3: and if she sees the value out weighing the negatives,

671
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:45,279
Speaker 3: then that's her choice. The only thing I can do

672
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 3: is control my what I can tolerate, and I can't

673
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:53,080
Speaker 3: tolerate being a witness to it anymore. So therefore I

674
00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:55,320
Speaker 3: support you, I love you, I'm here for you, but

675
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 3: I'm not here for the relationship. So I won't be

676
00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 3: around that person. And she is told me that by

677
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:04,560
Speaker 3: me taking that level of a stance of saying I

678
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:08,400
Speaker 3: won't be around them, it really changed everything for her

679
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:11,560
Speaker 3: and she could just totally, you know, accept and see

680
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:15,280
Speaker 3: fully that this wasn't a healthy relationship anymore. So anyway,

681
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:16,080
Speaker 3: that's my example.

682
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 1: That's because I could see that backfiring on your friendship too.

683
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:22,440
Speaker 3: I could do it was a risk, it was a

684
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:23,000
Speaker 3: big risk.

685
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 1: That's that's interesting. Yeah, And I think that's brave that

686
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:26,840
Speaker 1: you put yourself out there like that.

687
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:28,759
Speaker 3: I loved her and I still love her, and I

688
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:30,120
Speaker 3: just wanted better for her.

689
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 1: Yeah.

690
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 2: Well, I think that's really interesting in terms of the

691
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:45,200
Speaker 2: line that we see Lynette take with Tom's dad. I mean,

692
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:47,360
Speaker 2: first it's and it's such a good comedic feat that

693
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 2: she puts him out on the curb, and then you

694
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 2: see her and Tom kind of have more of an

695
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:53,279
Speaker 2: argument about it, and then we cut to immediately Tom

696
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,880
Speaker 2: out on the curb, sitting next to his dad, and

697
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:59,239
Speaker 2: eventually they they let him back in. But I feel

698
00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:01,879
Speaker 2: like Lynette is saying a version of what you said

699
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:04,440
Speaker 2: of you know what you are saying, And I am

700
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:07,320
Speaker 2: personally I am a big believer in the idea that

701
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:10,160
Speaker 2: you know they talk about maybe Tom's dad's or Tom's

702
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:15,360
Speaker 2: dad's wife knows to some degree that these this affair

703
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 2: is happening. And I really do believe energetically or cosmically

704
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:24,400
Speaker 2: that everybody kind of knows everything. I mean not to

705
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:27,800
Speaker 2: say that, obviously, it is our responsibility to communicate our needs,

706
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,319
Speaker 2: and people are not mind readers, and people are very

707
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 2: capable of keeping secrets. But I do think if you're

708
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:34,920
Speaker 2: thinking about who is the kind of person who has

709
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:37,759
Speaker 2: an affair over the course of many years of their marriage, you.

710
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:38,880
Speaker 1: Feel like you know who that is.

711
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:41,240
Speaker 2: Well, it's hard for me to believe that their partner

712
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 2: doesn't know, Yeah, Noor, she did know, or is completely

713
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 2: blindsided by that information. But Lynette is saying, whatever you

714
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:53,239
Speaker 2: have worked out with your family and what they are

715
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:56,920
Speaker 2: willing to tolerate, I'm not willing to tolerate that. And

716
00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:59,440
Speaker 2: that seems to really stick with Tom in a way

717
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:02,239
Speaker 2: that it's that he is maybe hiding something. Yea, we're

718
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:05,640
Speaker 2: gonna find out that's making him extra nervous. At first,

719
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:06,440
Speaker 2: I got scared.

720
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:07,520
Speaker 3: I forgot. I don't know.

721
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:09,600
Speaker 1: I don't know either, but it did make it seem

722
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 1: like maybe Tom had already had an affair.

723
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it made me think, And Mom, you and

724
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:17,120
Speaker 2: I talk about this a lot. What is the line

725
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:20,440
Speaker 2: of how much you think our parents are a reflection

726
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 2: of who we are as people, Like I remember really distinctly.

727
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:27,720
Speaker 2: I think when you're young, you know, when you're Julie's

728
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:31,000
Speaker 2: age and or Zach's age, and there's so much embarrassment

729
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:33,719
Speaker 2: around anything that your parent does, like, oh my god,

730
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 2: don't speak to me in the carpool line when you

731
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:38,440
Speaker 2: pick me up from school. Just keep the windows up.

732
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:41,239
Speaker 2: I remember, like with my dad once he took me

733
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:44,280
Speaker 2: to Starbucks in the morning before school. We were standing

734
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 2: in line. He loves the story, and his phone dings

735
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 2: and he looks at his phone and I'm standing in

736
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,239
Speaker 2: front of him in line, and I have texted him, Dad,

737
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 2: all my friends are here, don't do anything. I don't

738
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:04,600
Speaker 2: do anything, do anyone in order? And I think, you know,

739
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:07,160
Speaker 2: we shed a lot of that embarrassment that we feel

740
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:10,360
Speaker 2: in our teenage years when we come to realize that

741
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:13,480
Speaker 2: our parents' actions are not a reflection of our actions,

742
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 2: and that everyone is their own person.

743
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 1: I think this leads in a little bit to Mary

744
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 1: Alice has all of you know, she always has her

745
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:24,800
Speaker 1: overarching view of everyone on Westeria Lane, and in this

746
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:28,920
Speaker 1: episode she says, sooner or later, time comes to be

747
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:32,439
Speaker 1: a responsible adult, to give up what you may want

748
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,960
Speaker 1: and do what is right. And it makes me think,

749
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:40,279
Speaker 1: do you think becoming a responsible adult means giving up

750
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 1: the life that you want to go after? Which I

751
00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:47,680
Speaker 1: bring it up now because I agree that by extension,

752
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:51,879
Speaker 1: there becomes a time when you're going from childhood into

753
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:56,080
Speaker 1: adulthood taking on responsibility that you can choose to be

754
00:38:56,280 --> 00:39:01,000
Speaker 1: your parents or not. And some times that has to

755
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 1: be a very conscious I mean, I spent a lot

756
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:05,399
Speaker 1: of my adult life going I am not my mother,

757
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 1: I am not my mother, I am not going to

758
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:08,960
Speaker 1: be my mother, and I know you, and then sometimes

759
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 1: I go, oh, my god, I'm my mother, and and

760
00:39:11,239 --> 00:39:14,120
Speaker 1: it makes me want to, you know, punish myself, because

761
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:16,359
Speaker 1: there's a lot of qualities in my mother that are

762
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:19,600
Speaker 1: not great, and I don't want to emulate. I mean,

763
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:22,920
Speaker 1: there's parts of her that are great, but like, I

764
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:25,440
Speaker 1: don't want to be my mother, and I think so

765
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:28,000
Speaker 1: kind of, I'm sort of answering your question too, which is,

766
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 1: I think you can elevate beyond who your parents are

767
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:35,400
Speaker 1: and what you've witnessed as a role model. But I

768
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:38,360
Speaker 1: don't know. Do you think becoming an adult means letting

769
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:40,040
Speaker 1: go of what you want?

770
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:45,239
Speaker 2: I think not. Yeah, i'mar and sweet, No, I don't. Okay, yeah,

771
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 2: I marked this moment too, because I think I actually

772
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:51,320
Speaker 2: see friends of mine and people I know whose parents

773
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:54,880
Speaker 2: seem to have this belief that it is immature to

774
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 2: be pursuing what you want to do, and that that's like, oh, well,

775
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,879
Speaker 2: that's rivolous to try to build a career or build

776
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:05,439
Speaker 2: a life around what you want, Like you're such a child.

777
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:08,800
Speaker 2: What you actually should do is commit to something stable

778
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 2: that you don't like that much, but it pays your bills.

779
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 2: That's being an adult, Because that's being an adult. And

780
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:18,600
Speaker 2: I think, God, I'm sorry for my friends have so

781
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 2: much dismantling to do from their parents' belief systems in

782
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:27,800
Speaker 2: order to have a happy life. Because I disagree. I

783
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:31,280
Speaker 2: I mean, I entirely disagree. I think being an adult

784
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 2: is maybe learning how to take responsibility for your actions,

785
00:40:36,719 --> 00:40:41,000
Speaker 2: learning that your actions don't exist in a vacuum. There's consequences, yeah,

786
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:43,640
Speaker 2: and that what you do affects the other people around.

787
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:45,680
Speaker 3: You, and there's compromise. Sometimes you have to do things

788
00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:47,320
Speaker 3: you don't want to do. It's not a living a

789
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:50,640
Speaker 3: life of indulgence or living a life of selfishness, right,

790
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:53,279
Speaker 3: It's that there's trade off. Sometimes you have to do

791
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:55,360
Speaker 3: something you don't want to do because it's necessary, or

792
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:58,560
Speaker 3: it benefits someone else, or you have an obligation to

793
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 3: meet or whatever. That as being an adult, but it's

794
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:04,400
Speaker 3: don't enjoy your life, give up the things that you

795
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:04,840
Speaker 3: want to do.

796
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:08,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, and yeah, I think that responsibility also really does

797
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:10,200
Speaker 2: have to be balanced with the fact that, at least

798
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:13,319
Speaker 2: personally for me, I believe this is our one life.

799
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:15,640
Speaker 2: You know, it is a huge gift that we ended

800
00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:19,080
Speaker 2: up in human form, in this life, in this moment,

801
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:23,239
Speaker 2: and to some degree, I think you're entitled to enjoy

802
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:26,680
Speaker 2: your life. I think that you know, being born into

803
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:28,720
Speaker 2: this world gives you that entitlement.

804
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:31,080
Speaker 1: And do you know that every night when I go

805
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:33,200
Speaker 1: to sleep, Like people will ask me if I meditate,

806
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:35,279
Speaker 1: and the version of meditating that I do. When I

807
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:36,920
Speaker 1: go to sleep, I put my head on the pillow

808
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 1: and all the lights are off and I and I

809
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:43,200
Speaker 1: start reflecting on what I was grateful for in that day.

810
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:44,120
Speaker 2: And it could be the.

811
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:46,920
Speaker 1: Littlest thing, you know, like the feeling of the pillow

812
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 1: on my I already told you I'm devoted to my pillow,

813
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:52,520
Speaker 1: the feeling of the pillow, or like like it that

814
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:55,799
Speaker 1: I got to have two real deep conversations with two

815
00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:59,000
Speaker 1: different girlfriends on one day, which never happens, you know,

816
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:03,160
Speaker 1: and and or you know, I saw a bird or

817
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:09,040
Speaker 1: I ate the hash browns or whatever. But it those

818
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:16,799
Speaker 1: conscious acknowledgments of the moments that your life is made

819
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:20,719
Speaker 1: of and the ones that you enjoy, I think start

820
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:23,600
Speaker 1: to define like that you're having a life you want

821
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:23,800
Speaker 1: to have.

822
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:27,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, there was another Mary Alice line that I flagged

823
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 3: from this episode that I just kind of caught a

824
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:33,239
Speaker 3: double entendre that I'm not sure I would have the

825
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:35,759
Speaker 3: first go around for myself, which was I think it

826
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 3: might be the last line in the episode. She says,

827
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:41,759
Speaker 3: sooner or later, we must all become responsible adults. No

828
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:44,600
Speaker 3: one knows this better than the young. And she says

829
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:48,799
Speaker 3: this as it's right after Julian Zach meet back up

830
00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:52,719
Speaker 3: against their parents' wishes and whatever. But their last name

831
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:56,880
Speaker 3: being young Mary Alice Young Zach Young landed with me,

832
00:42:57,520 --> 00:42:59,719
Speaker 3: and I was so. I was kind of emotional about

833
00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:03,359
Speaker 3: it because it became we listened to Mary Alice give

834
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 3: us this insight, and her narrations serve so many plot

835
00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:09,600
Speaker 3: devices and furthering the storyline and also just giving us

836
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:12,680
Speaker 3: so much wisdom throughout. But she is also watching the

837
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:16,000
Speaker 3: lives of her friends and her exit or her husband

838
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,440
Speaker 3: and her son, and so when she says that no

839
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:20,319
Speaker 3: one knows this better than the young, it just really

840
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:22,839
Speaker 3: struck me that or if they meant it that way,

841
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:25,279
Speaker 3: I feel like with our writers that faces and they

842
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:28,400
Speaker 3: must have, but I don't know that they needed everyone

843
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 3: to catch it, or maybe everyone did and I just didn't.

844
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,440
Speaker 3: I certainly did this time, and I thought it was

845
00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:35,240
Speaker 3: you beautiful that connection.

846
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:38,920
Speaker 2: I didn't and as their last name nobody, I so

847
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:41,959
Speaker 2: am now and I have to say this episode and Mom,

848
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:44,960
Speaker 2: the scene that Susan has with Paul because they meet

849
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 2: up back in the dance venue where the school dance has.

850
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:49,200
Speaker 3: Happened as Sportsman's Lodge.

851
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:56,080
Speaker 1: Fyo, remember lodge for which is now where arewana is

852
00:43:56,080 --> 00:44:00,319
Speaker 1: where you can get a forty dollars smoothie and for you.

853
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:05,120
Speaker 2: No, but I mean Zach and Paul and and Paul

854
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:10,080
Speaker 2: and Susan's dynamic in this episode really just it sang

855
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:13,279
Speaker 2: to me a lot. And then the way that you know,

856
00:44:13,719 --> 00:44:16,840
Speaker 2: Susan and Paul have this moment dancing to what is

857
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:17,680
Speaker 2: the song Dustin?

858
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:20,840
Speaker 1: And that made me I love that song, but it

859
00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:23,239
Speaker 1: also made me I don't want to get in the

860
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,640
Speaker 1: way of your point, but it did make me want

861
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 1: to talk about playlists and which you know and just

862
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 1: music and what it does to you because that I

863
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:33,080
Speaker 1: couldn't believe that that was the song. And it also

864
00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:36,400
Speaker 1: I was like they paid for that song. I was

865
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:37,839
Speaker 1: sort of surprised, Yes, go ahead.

866
00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:42,360
Speaker 2: It was a beautiful scene where you feel Susan towing

867
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:45,839
Speaker 2: the line of how much is Paul going to tell

868
00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:48,839
Speaker 2: her because she doesn't actually know what Zach has done yet.

869
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 2: In that scene, it's like fishing, yeah, and then we

870
00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:57,920
Speaker 2: find out what Zach has done maybe maybe he actually

871
00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 2: hasn't killed his sister. He's been led to believe he

872
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:03,160
Speaker 2: killed his sister. And now and I said, oh my god,

873
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:05,480
Speaker 2: this show should not have been set on Wisteria Lane.

874
00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:08,799
Speaker 2: It should have been set on blackmail Lane, because everyone

875
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:15,160
Speaker 2: is blackmailing everyone now Zach' mysteria lane. Now Zach is

876
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:17,920
Speaker 2: blackmailing Paul to not move so he can stay in

877
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:22,520
Speaker 2: this relationship with Julie. And you have Susan confront Zach

878
00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:25,120
Speaker 2: before him and Julie run to meet up for that

879
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:29,719
Speaker 2: very last scene of the episode. And I really I

880
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:33,400
Speaker 2: was kind of haunted by the scene at the end

881
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:38,279
Speaker 2: with Julian Zach, but also the scene prior between Susan and.

882
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:40,200
Speaker 1: Zach.

883
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:41,480
Speaker 3: Oh, Zach, oh in the kitchen.

884
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:43,759
Speaker 2: We're in the kitchen, And I wanted to know. I mean,

885
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:46,080
Speaker 2: I know we've talked about your first kiss and being

886
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:48,280
Speaker 2: a parent and navigating that, but do you remember filming

887
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:52,400
Speaker 2: that scene? Because I just thought, gosh, how challenging to

888
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:56,919
Speaker 2: have a child who maybe suffers from mental illness. How

889
00:45:57,520 --> 00:45:59,719
Speaker 2: challenging to have a child dating a child who has

890
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:02,840
Speaker 2: a predictable behavior, you know, whether that has anything to

891
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:06,480
Speaker 2: do with underlying conditions or not. And I thought you

892
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:09,480
Speaker 2: handled that scene so well as an actor, Mom, But

893
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:12,160
Speaker 2: do you remember anything about that? It was really intense.

894
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:16,080
Speaker 1: Again, I'm gonna say that, you know, Unfortunately I don't

895
00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:20,719
Speaker 1: other than like what comes through me, like what resonates

896
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:24,200
Speaker 1: is that, Yes, it was intense, and I feel like

897
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:27,360
Speaker 1: Cody and I had each other's backs. I feel like

898
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:30,239
Speaker 1: this is the same thing I was saying about Nicolette

899
00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:33,160
Speaker 1: and in the Edie Susan scene where they take the

900
00:46:33,239 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 1: ashes out, Like sometimes I'm not remembering the specificity of

901
00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:40,360
Speaker 1: like what might have gone wrong or what might have

902
00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:43,239
Speaker 1: been funny, like you know, did the cabinet not fall

903
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:45,920
Speaker 1: over the right way one time or whatever, Like I'm

904
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 1: not remembering those things, but I'm remembering an overall sense

905
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:53,480
Speaker 1: of like that is a scary place to go to,

906
00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:56,400
Speaker 1: like as an actor, And that's the fun of being

907
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:59,480
Speaker 1: an actor that you get you get led on these

908
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 1: different journeys depending on what the character's story is. But

909
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:06,040
Speaker 1: when you know as the actor that you're gonna have

910
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:08,040
Speaker 1: to go to this place, like, I agree with you.

911
00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:10,920
Speaker 1: I thought it was played well. I thought what I

912
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:14,160
Speaker 1: saw in Susan was like I really want to be

913
00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:18,040
Speaker 1: respectful about how is there a way for everybody to

914
00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:21,400
Speaker 1: get a win, like, can Julie have what she wants?

915
00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:25,800
Speaker 1: Can Zac have what he wants? Can Susan still feels safe?

916
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:28,600
Speaker 1: Like I kind of saw that until he throws the thing,

917
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:31,239
Speaker 1: and then it's like and she says, thank you for

918
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:34,120
Speaker 1: making this so easy on me, and I actually love

919
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:36,759
Speaker 1: I mean, that felt like a very true moment too,

920
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:40,040
Speaker 1: whenever you're like having a difficulty with somebody and then

921
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:42,960
Speaker 1: they do something that's so egregious that all you can

922
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 1: think is, I'm not mad about the egregious thing you

923
00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:47,880
Speaker 1: just did. I'm just super happy that you just did it,

924
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:49,759
Speaker 1: because now this is not hard for me at all,

925
00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:53,440
Speaker 1: And there's like relief in that because it's permission.

926
00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 3: It's permission to just go with your instinct and you

927
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:58,000
Speaker 3: don't have to worry about how the other person feels anymore,

928
00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:00,360
Speaker 3: sort of because they just did something that made it

929
00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 3: very clear cut.

930
00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:02,120
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah.

931
00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:04,160
Speaker 1: But I feel like it would be interesting to talk

932
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,560
Speaker 1: to Cody because I feel like I kind of recall

933
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:11,719
Speaker 1: again and maybe this is just like my angle of

934
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:14,719
Speaker 1: like the way I at least am remembering what it's

935
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:18,400
Speaker 1: like to act in something like that long ago. But

936
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:24,040
Speaker 1: I feel like we both were probably really trying to

937
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:25,239
Speaker 1: find the subtlety in.

938
00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:27,120
Speaker 3: It all, and Cody was I mean, Cody was a

939
00:48:27,239 --> 00:48:30,759
Speaker 3: very committed actor. He took his job very seriously. He

940
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:33,520
Speaker 3: showed up with ideas, he showed up prepared, and he

941
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:37,759
Speaker 3: was intense. When in those scenes where he had to

942
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 3: be intense, he took them very seriously. He felt a

943
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:42,520
Speaker 3: big responsibility to play those out. So I can imagine

944
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:45,439
Speaker 3: it was an intense moment to film as well, because

945
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:47,799
Speaker 3: he probably thought about it a lot and done quite

946
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:49,839
Speaker 3: a lot of prep prior to showing up.

947
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:52,600
Speaker 2: It makes me think about another big theme that emerged

948
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:55,000
Speaker 2: for me towards the end of this episode, the idea

949
00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:59,640
Speaker 2: of how relationships and the relationships we have to other

950
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:03,360
Speaker 2: people can sometimes cloud and make it difficult to know

951
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:08,240
Speaker 2: what we need as individuals. You know, in the relation

952
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 2: to John and Gabby's relationship, John has clouded his idea

953
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:16,360
Speaker 2: of what going to college means because he's thinking about

954
00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:19,200
Speaker 2: his relationship with Gabby and maybe not about what's best

955
00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:22,080
Speaker 2: for him as an individual. We see Rex and Brie

956
00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:26,440
Speaker 2: in their divorce. Brie seems really steadfast on saying this

957
00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:29,480
Speaker 2: is what I need as an individual, and Rex is

958
00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:33,440
Speaker 2: trying to still think about them as a unit, and

959
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:33,799
Speaker 2: we have.

960
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:37,200
Speaker 3: How those tables have turned. Now he wants the relationship

961
00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:40,640
Speaker 3: to maybe work, and she's checked out. Now she's decided

962
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:41,960
Speaker 3: it's no longer going to serve her.

963
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:45,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, and Julie and Zach, I mean, I question what

964
00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 2: Julie wants because I feel like Zach is really leading

965
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:53,560
Speaker 2: their relationship along, even though we know that Julie cares

966
00:49:53,560 --> 00:49:57,399
Speaker 2: about him. And Yeah, I'm just curious. Have you ever

967
00:49:58,440 --> 00:50:01,160
Speaker 2: either of you felt like I think you know? It

968
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:03,239
Speaker 2: can be both. A relationship can be really supportive of

969
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:05,840
Speaker 2: your individuality, but it can also make it harder to

970
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:09,960
Speaker 2: maybe identify or advocate for what those individual needs are.

971
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 2: Do you feel like you've experienced a version of that

972
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:14,080
Speaker 2: or have any thoughts on that?

973
00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:15,880
Speaker 3: In relation to this, when two people are in a

974
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:20,600
Speaker 3: relationship who are very similar versus seeking out relationships where

975
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:22,800
Speaker 3: you're different from one another, I don't know which is

976
00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:25,160
Speaker 3: I think it depends on the person, right. Sometimes people

977
00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:27,719
Speaker 3: like to be with people who are very similar with

978
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:30,400
Speaker 3: a lot of shared interests, and sometimes it's better for

979
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:33,480
Speaker 3: those to maintain their individuality by being with people who

980
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:36,240
Speaker 3: are very different from them. I think it's very common

981
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:39,280
Speaker 3: for people to lose a sense of individuality or identity

982
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:42,200
Speaker 3: in a relationship, and it can be very damaging because

983
00:50:42,239 --> 00:50:45,640
Speaker 3: the relationships with ourselves have to be at the forefront

984
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:49,239
Speaker 3: of our lives so that we can offer a full

985
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:53,640
Speaker 3: person to someone else. And I think that I've been

986
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:56,120
Speaker 3: in relationships where I've been very similar with the partner,

987
00:50:56,680 --> 00:51:01,200
Speaker 3: and for me personally, it has been more fulfilling to

988
00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:04,839
Speaker 3: me to be with someone who is different, different than

989
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:07,120
Speaker 3: I am. Not in always and the core ways to

990
00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:09,480
Speaker 3: have a lot of similar values and morals and things

991
00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:12,960
Speaker 3: like that, but interests being different. The way we react

992
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 3: to things being different, I feel like allows me to

993
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:20,319
Speaker 3: feel a sense of individuality. But I get to learn

994
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:22,960
Speaker 3: all the time from the other person, and I love that.

995
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:26,239
Speaker 3: And I learned things about myself, for good and bad,

996
00:51:26,760 --> 00:51:29,480
Speaker 3: that I think are really valuable to the maintenance and

997
00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:33,279
Speaker 3: longevity of a relationship. And just another thing about the

998
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:37,000
Speaker 3: John Gabby thing, because I thought it was so interesting.

999
00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:40,239
Speaker 3: We see him propose to her, which is wild. He

1000
00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:47,399
Speaker 3: proposes by saying, miss is so long, you're getting You're

1001
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:51,319
Speaker 3: not getting it. Can't even call her by her first name.

1002
00:51:51,719 --> 00:51:54,600
Speaker 3: But then we learn because the parents come back. The

1003
00:51:54,719 --> 00:51:57,600
Speaker 3: dad comes back for that final scene to confront and

1004
00:51:57,719 --> 00:52:01,239
Speaker 3: she's his mom says, where's the ring? Where's my grandmother's ring?

1005
00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:04,200
Speaker 3: So we learned that Gabrielle did. She say, yes, I

1006
00:52:04,239 --> 00:52:05,479
Speaker 3: don't understand what happened there.

1007
00:52:05,480 --> 00:52:07,359
Speaker 2: She left the ring.

1008
00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:08,520
Speaker 1: No, she took it.

1009
00:52:08,640 --> 00:52:11,319
Speaker 3: She took it because they came. The parents came to say,

1010
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:14,400
Speaker 3: where is our grandmother's ring? And she says something like, I.

1011
00:52:14,840 --> 00:52:16,600
Speaker 1: Think she took it because they need money.

1012
00:52:16,760 --> 00:52:19,520
Speaker 3: Oh, I thought, she Oh, that's interesting. I hadn't even

1013
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 3: given that a thought.

1014
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:22,400
Speaker 1: I thought she was thinking she was going to sell it.

1015
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:24,839
Speaker 2: Maybe I thought that she left it on the table.

1016
00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:25,520
Speaker 1: We had to read it.

1017
00:52:25,760 --> 00:52:27,800
Speaker 3: We have to have another rewatching to figure out what

1018
00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:28,600
Speaker 3: really happened.

1019
00:52:28,680 --> 00:52:31,520
Speaker 2: I thought she left it on the table and she said,

1020
00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:35,320
Speaker 2: I never really loved you and I Actually this scene

1021
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:37,320
Speaker 2: stood out to me a lot. I thought this was

1022
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:42,040
Speaker 2: such an interesting scene to write when thinking about Gabby's character,

1023
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:44,600
Speaker 2: because obviously I can't speak for Eva as an actor,

1024
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:47,360
Speaker 2: but I feel that in the writing of this scene,

1025
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:50,919
Speaker 2: Gabby is being asked for the first time to really

1026
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:55,160
Speaker 2: look at the consequences of what she's done. That now

1027
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:59,840
Speaker 2: here is this kid, throwing away his life and future.

1028
00:53:00,239 --> 00:53:02,880
Speaker 3: She finally sees him as a kid maybe well to

1029
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:03,319
Speaker 3: be with.

1030
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:06,439
Speaker 2: Her, and that she has I think she has really

1031
00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:09,279
Speaker 2: loved him, and I think the kind of theme of

1032
00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:11,880
Speaker 2: you know, we give up what we want to do,

1033
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:14,440
Speaker 2: what is right, this idea that maybe we disagree with

1034
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:17,000
Speaker 2: what it is that that's what Gabby is doing in

1035
00:53:17,080 --> 00:53:18,920
Speaker 2: that scene. I think she does love him, but I

1036
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:21,560
Speaker 2: think she knows saying I was never in love with

1037
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:24,960
Speaker 2: you will make him let go of the idea of

1038
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:27,560
Speaker 2: their relationship in a way that will let him have

1039
00:53:27,640 --> 00:53:29,880
Speaker 2: a future and that does have hope. And that's the

1040
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 2: adult thing for her to do, which which I was

1041
00:53:33,120 --> 00:53:34,680
Speaker 2: happy to finally see her do.

1042
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:36,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a redeeming moment for her character.

1043
00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:41,080
Speaker 1: Well that's a good way to end this episode. Yeah,

1044
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:45,880
Speaker 1: I think everybody, everybody being their most adult self. And

1045
00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:47,719
Speaker 1: so then the three of us are going to go

1046
00:53:48,320 --> 00:53:51,399
Speaker 1: adult this week, and then we'll see each other next week,

1047
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:54,759
Speaker 1: and we'll see you guys next week too, because we

1048
00:53:54,920 --> 00:53:57,120
Speaker 1: are desperately devoted to you.

1049
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:02,960
Speaker 2: Sound Na