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Speaker 1: Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and

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Speaker 1: Mighty Tour. In August you can find me in Red Bank,

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Speaker 1: New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey, and Calgary that's Canada. And

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Speaker 1: September I will be in Santa Barbara, San Diego, New

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Speaker 1: York City, Philly and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise,

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Speaker 1: Idaho and Spokan. And then in November I'll be in

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Speaker 1: San Francisco. I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston,

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Speaker 1: Dallas Babies, I'll be there. And then in December I

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Speaker 1: am closing out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So

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Speaker 1: get your tickets at Chelseahandler dot com for the High

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Speaker 1: and Mighty Tour. Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea.

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Speaker 2: Who are you traveling with right now?

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Speaker 1: I am now by myself.

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Speaker 3: Oh okay.

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Speaker 4: I am in Spanish school. I am going to Spanish

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Speaker 4: school from nine to two pm every day in a

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Speaker 4: Spanish city somewhere near you, somewhere near Spain.

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Speaker 3: You're gonna be fluid when you come back. It's gonna

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Speaker 3: be great.

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Speaker 4: Hopefully we'll see what happens we'll see how many days

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Speaker 4: of school I actually get to.

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Speaker 1: But I'm on day three, so school from nine to two.

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Speaker 4: And then there's cultural activity activity da DAEs that I

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Speaker 4: am opting out of because I need a nightlife.

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Speaker 1: But I in school from nine to two is all

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Speaker 1: I need? Really?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I think your your nightlife is going

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Speaker 2: to be your cultural activity Dades.

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Speaker 5: Yes, exactly, that's me experiencing culture is going out excellent. Well,

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Speaker 5: our guest today is a very special guest because she's

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Speaker 5: launching her very own podcast under the Dear Chelsea podcast network,

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Speaker 5: and this is going to give you a slice of

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Speaker 5: what you can listen to when you tune into her

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Speaker 5: podcast every week. Her new podcast is called You're the

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Speaker 5: Problem with Yaminika Saunders, and after listening to this, you'll

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Speaker 5: also understand that she is the problem and she's my

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Speaker 5: problem and everyone's problem. So that title alone invites you

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Speaker 5: to laugh.

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Speaker 2: And she gave great advice. Actually on this episode, I

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Speaker 2: was I was very impressed with her.

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Speaker 1: She is good at advice.

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Speaker 5: She's terrible at taking it, but she's good at giving it.

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Speaker 3: How necessary is this air?

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Speaker 1: Excuse me? Excuse me? How sweaty don't even let me.

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Speaker 1: First of all, I want to talk to you, okay

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Speaker 1: before we're shooting this podcast. This is dear Chelsea, this

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Speaker 1: is Y'allminika Saunders. If you're not familiar with her, you

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Speaker 1: will be by the end of this episode.

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Speaker 3: We've had clips go viral with you.

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Speaker 1: Okay, anyway, why don't you how necessary is this air?

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Speaker 1: How necessary? Is all the bullshit that you get up to?

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Speaker 1: You are disruptive. She's been staying at my house for

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Speaker 1: a week. Here we go for Thelix Joe Comedy Festival.

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Speaker 1: She every she has nothing, she brought nothing with her.

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Speaker 1: We've been on the road. Every day is brand new

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Speaker 1: for her. Every day you go into her bedroom, she's

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Speaker 1: in the bunk room. Megan was also staying here. Megan Gaily, by.

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Speaker 3: The way, because she goes through this nonsense.

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Speaker 1: Okay, every day in the bunk room where she's staying.

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Speaker 1: She it looks like a fucking pop up CVS. She

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Speaker 1: has to go to CBS. She goes to CVS three

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Speaker 1: times a day.

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Speaker 3: I'm addicted.

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Speaker 1: She buys all the new It's like she's starting over.

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Speaker 1: Each day. She doesn't have any of her supplies. She

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Speaker 1: has to get her hair stuff, her face stuff, her sneaker.

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Speaker 1: She buys clothes at CVS. Then she went to Marshalls.

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Speaker 1: Then she goes to Marshalls twice a week. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: introduced her with the Marshals trend. I introduced her. I

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Speaker 1: introduced her to Airwan. So I said, here's where the

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Speaker 1: white people go shopping in Santa Monica.

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Speaker 3: Come Buck.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, if you have you ever had

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Speaker 1: a thirteen dollars smoothie? And this bitch goes every morning

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Speaker 1: now to Airwan, spends eighty dollars at Airwan.

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Speaker 3: I can't help that. Yeah, No, I got this from

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Speaker 3: this who's nicky. That's me.

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Speaker 6: I don't because he got to learn how to spell yaminika.

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Speaker 6: They didn't even teach me how to spell my name

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Speaker 6: until I was in the third grade. Well, the problem

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Speaker 6: I'm supposed to lest some brand new lady that just

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Speaker 6: met me learn the problem with spelling your name. We're

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Speaker 6: about to launch a podcast. This is an announcement, you

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Speaker 6: guys to our audience. Dear Chelsea Network is now a network.

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Speaker 6: And yes, I hold my breast when I say that.

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Speaker 1: I guess my first podcast that I'm producing beyond my

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Speaker 1: own is.

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Speaker 3: You're the problem with Yaminika. But you're the fucking problem,

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Speaker 3: not the problem. You're the problem. Listen. I am a

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Speaker 3: part of the collective of the problem.

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Speaker 6: So when I say you're the problem, I'm also saying

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Speaker 6: that to myself a lot. I'm glad you're saying that

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Speaker 6: we need to talk about and we have to do

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Speaker 6: the fact that you've bought three rotisserie chickens in three

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Speaker 6: days and haven't even finished them, that they were delicious

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Speaker 6: every day she never finished.

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Speaker 1: This was twenty two dollars one juice. It's the Hanley.

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Speaker 1: What are you doing?

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: We should get a discout from Haley. I'll DM her.

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Speaker 3: No, don't listen. Is this her? Haley? Let me tell

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Speaker 3: you something, baby, I.

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Speaker 1: Have to smoke a joint for this episode because I

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Speaker 1: can't deal with her. Can I tell she drives me

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Speaker 1: to drink and smoke.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, well you're drinking and smoke it anyway. So what

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Speaker 6: were you doing all the damn years before you met me?

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Speaker 1: I was drinking and smoking for a different Now you're

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Speaker 1: the reason I'm drinking and smoking.

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Speaker 7: Haley.

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Speaker 6: This smoothie here, it's the thing I drink every morning

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Speaker 6: and keep my bowls regular.

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Speaker 3: I suck this down and it is muddy tunnel. Do

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Speaker 3: you hear me? That's why they's so damn thin.

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Speaker 6: When you spend twenty two dollars for a smoothie, you

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Speaker 6: don't have money to eat for the rest of the day.

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Speaker 3: That's it. That's right.

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Speaker 8: Basically, Rachel Ray back in the day.

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Speaker 1: She goes, she buys a rotissery chicken every day, and

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Speaker 1: then she goes, oh, I got you all chicken. No

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Speaker 1: one wants it. No one wants the chicken you bought

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Speaker 1: chicken noodle suit the other day. It's still in the fridge,

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Speaker 1: a huge pint of it. There's you haven't touched it.

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Speaker 1: You don't eat any of the stuff that you buy,

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Speaker 1: so what are you doing with it?

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Speaker 3: Is this like that we might have a problem.

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Speaker 6: I get excited about purchases and things looking like, oh,

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Speaker 6: this is gonna look cute in the refrigerator. So yeah,

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Speaker 6: a sixteen dollars soup makes no sense, but it looks

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Speaker 6: cute and refrigerator. And that's what she's not gonna tell you.

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Speaker 6: It looks good in refrigerator. But also have her tell

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Speaker 6: you this. The reason why I haven't eaten it yet

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Speaker 6: is because this bitch also has one in there, So

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Speaker 6: why would I open mine up.

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Speaker 3: If you don't have yours open yet?

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Speaker 1: What my chicken?

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Speaker 3: You have a chicken noodle soup?

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Speaker 1: Chicken nood you do I have? I never even ordered that.

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Speaker 1: I never get Do you want to go to probably yours?

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Speaker 1: You dumbass?

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Speaker 9: Not?

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Speaker 1: You probably got it and you forgot that you bought it.

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Speaker 1: Like everything else, every she waits you, I would you, though,

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Speaker 1: I would you?

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Speaker 7: I mean.

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Speaker 3: Chicken noodle soup twice okay.

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Speaker 1: The other day she goes, oh, we can break down

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Speaker 1: the bones from the rotisserie chicken. I can make a

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Speaker 1: nice Yeah, I can make anybody, But when is that

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Speaker 1: gonna happen? Y No one's making any fucking soup with

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Speaker 1: some bones. We're not doing that at any point during

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Speaker 1: your stay here. So that the fantasy that you're living

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Speaker 1: in about us making bone broth or whatever the fuck

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Speaker 1: you're talking about is so stupid.

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Speaker 3: Because you want to do it with me.

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Speaker 1: The way I see you operate is on another level.

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Speaker 1: Like I thought I knew her having her in my

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Speaker 1: house in my space, thank you for breaking in my

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Speaker 1: house helpfully, Like.

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Speaker 6: I mean, I know, I've had an amazing time here

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Speaker 6: it's been really nice having it's the most fun room.

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Speaker 6: Megan and I had such an amazing time.

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Speaker 3: There's four bunk beds. When I first heard that, I

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Speaker 3: was like, this is some stupid ship.

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Speaker 1: And then I was like a women's presses.

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Speaker 3: No, it's like everybody has their own little compartment.

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Speaker 8: Yeah.

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Speaker 6: Like it was so great, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like

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Speaker 6: comedy really good.

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Speaker 3: I love it. Yeah, and thank you for letting me

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Speaker 3: come in. Listen.

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Speaker 1: Get you on the right concealer though your facial concealer. Okay,

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Speaker 1: let me just solve the problem with you buying new

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Speaker 1: concealer everywhere you go. You're not getting the right color

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Speaker 1: for your skals.

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Speaker 6: Okay, so I lost my makeup bag in a couple

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Speaker 6: of places.

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Speaker 3: Here's the thing about Chelsea.

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Speaker 6: She doesn't understand why I don't have my shit together,

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Speaker 6: but then she got six thousand people keeping her shit together.

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Speaker 1: I'm by the way, man Ban, by the way, you

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Speaker 1: have infected all of the people that work with me

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Speaker 1: and for me, because they're all working for fucking you two. Now,

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Speaker 1: try to get your shit together. You don't know when

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Speaker 1: we're going on tour. You're like, oh, you're going to

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Speaker 1: Medesto I'm gonna rent a car. Why would you rent

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Speaker 1: a car when we have a car?

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Speaker 6: No, no, no, ladies and gentlemen, believe it or not,

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Speaker 6: you're the problem with Yaminika is something that I wanted

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Speaker 6: to do.

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Speaker 3: Chelsea also wanted to do.

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Speaker 6: No matter how she sits here and talks crazy about me,

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Speaker 6: the woman loves me down to the core, and she

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Speaker 6: wouldn't let me be on her fucking network if she

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Speaker 6: really thought I was this dumb and irresponsible.

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Speaker 10: You're dumb.

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Speaker 6: I've never said idiot. Dumb, stupid is like what you know,

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Speaker 6: what do we play taboo? But what I'm saying to

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Speaker 6: you is we'd like it's such like what we have

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Speaker 6: going on here is such a fantastic moment and time.

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Speaker 6: I'm so excited to be on the network. I just

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Speaker 6: think it is just so I'm just I can't wait.

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Speaker 6: And I think you.

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Speaker 1: Talk about on your show. I mean, listener. First of all,

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Speaker 1: we have a great something something almost.

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Speaker 3: Like a sisterhood, because we like to each other.

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Speaker 1: You're annoying, but you're annoying, okay, but well, anyway, we

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Speaker 1: have a good time together most of the time.

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Speaker 3: And I do think that you last night we were

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Speaker 3: at this party.

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Speaker 6: We was slow grinding awful, and people were walking past

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Speaker 6: like like people are intrigued by our love but also

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Speaker 6: like skeptical, but then they're also like also into it.

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Speaker 6: I've had so many male comics text me and be like,

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Speaker 6: can you put more videos up of you and Chelsea

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Speaker 6: wrestling each other?

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Speaker 3: Do you know when we get together?

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Speaker 1: I was walking around the party and I like was

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Speaker 1: so stoned that I forgot where you guys were, and

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Speaker 1: I kept trying to find that outside area where we

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Speaker 1: found at the beginning of the night. We were like,

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Speaker 1: we found a place where you could smoke and sit

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Speaker 1: outside and dance, and somehow I just got lost and

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Speaker 1: I kept circling the same group of people and it

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Speaker 1: was so annoying, and I was like, how do I

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Speaker 1: find them?

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Speaker 3: And then what happened, Like the Black Angel, didn't I

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Speaker 3: come up behind you and go where you've been?

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Speaker 7: Baby?

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Speaker 3: And then yeah, that was you got bitch, that was

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Speaker 3: me you would and we took that picture and ride

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Speaker 3: her away.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, absolutely, I knew you were somewhere in need of

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Speaker 6: mind say that's really.

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Speaker 8: You know, I mean, somebody that incredible album Chelsea.

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Speaker 6: I get on Chelsea's nerves. I understand for what she's

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Speaker 6: a Pisces, I'm a Scorpio.

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Speaker 3: Where she she.

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Speaker 1: Says this about forty seven types every days.

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Speaker 6: If anything, it's just a lot because as a scorpio

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Speaker 6: the way we don't want to be bothered with people.

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Speaker 1: But as a Scorpio, you you default your scorpionism all

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Speaker 1: day long, every because whatever she does, that's fucked up.

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Speaker 1: I'll be like, that's fucked up. She's like, I'm a

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Speaker 1: Scorpio and she just defaults to that, and I don't, like,

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Speaker 1: you can't do that. Let me, you're working around going

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Speaker 1: I'm a Pisces, deal with it.

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Speaker 6: She literally did a joke in the rows, I'm a Pisces,

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Speaker 6: Pete Davis is a Scorpio and Jeff has cancer.

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Speaker 1: I was so good.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, I mean we all defer to it.

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Speaker 6: But what I the reason why I reference it is

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Speaker 6: because for me, I think people are shocked to see

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Speaker 6: my relationship with her.

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Speaker 3: I have these relationships.

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Speaker 6: There's people in my life that I'm really really close

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Speaker 6: to and I have these relations too, and they don't

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Speaker 6: get to see it on a larger scale. But for me,

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Speaker 6: I'm always guarded, you know, just as a person. And

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Speaker 6: I know that I'm so sensitive that once I get

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Speaker 6: into a friendship with somebody, I start sharing my feelings,

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Speaker 6: my everything, and so I'm very vulnerable with that. But

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Speaker 6: she is, you know, she really lets me in and

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Speaker 6: I just love pinching her. I love pinching her little tush.

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Speaker 6: I love pinching her cheeks. I love pinching her arms,

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Speaker 6: just like all my friends. It's not Chelsea them doing

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Speaker 6: it's That's what my friendship is like. It's very loving,

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Speaker 6: it's very touchy, and it's very like extra.

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Speaker 1: It's a burden for me. It's a big burden.

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Speaker 3: It's not loves it. Don't listen to her?

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Speaker 2: Okay, So how do you keep winding up in Chelsea's bed?

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Speaker 2: That's that's what I want to know, because apparently it's

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Speaker 2: having a bunch of.

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Speaker 1: Times Yamka, what's your version of that story?

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Speaker 6: I love completely naked and I have seen her completely naked,

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Speaker 6: So what the so have happened? But what I'm saying

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Speaker 6: is no, what's the bed of who cares? She looks,

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Speaker 6: she's thin, She's not even taking up all this bed.

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Speaker 6: She doesn't need it, So why wouldn't I be in there?

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Speaker 6: I got my own space.

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Speaker 3: We're like two miles away from each other, and these

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Speaker 3: humung is ass beds that she's always in. This bitch

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Speaker 3: loves a whole last time.

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Speaker 1: We were in a bead like maybe I told this story.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I think I said it to you

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Speaker 1: once we were recording that I we had her, they

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Speaker 1: had her come up. I don't know why she's in

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Speaker 1: my room in the first place. Is a mystery, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I mean she I did it once and then she's

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Speaker 1: like every weekend she's like, so maybe on Thursday, I'll

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Speaker 1: spend the night with you, like, and I'll get a

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Speaker 1: place the other two nights. But you never know she's

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Speaker 1: gonna get a place or she's not gonna get a

294
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Speaker 1: place in the right city.

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Speaker 3: We don't know what I do get a place.

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Speaker 6: They get an attitude about it because I like these

297
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:09,959
Speaker 6: my Marriott points, my bonvoy Marriott points. I'm also gonna

298
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Speaker 6: get a discount on bookings dot Com. I'm gonna roll

299
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Speaker 6: that over.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's expensive, but you're not getting when you're

301
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Speaker 1: making the reservation in the wrong city for the wrong Yeah.

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Speaker 6: I did book the wrong hotel for the wrong day,

303
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Speaker 6: for the wrong year. I mean, I don't know I'm

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Speaker 6: doing what I but I had a place to stay,

305
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Speaker 6: did not Yeah in my bed?

306
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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,160
Speaker 3: Well okay, okay.

308
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Speaker 1: How many times she has all her makeup everywhere? She

309
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Speaker 1: doesn't even remember her makeup, so it looks like I

310
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Speaker 1: did black face and went to s.

311
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Speaker 6: I can't help it that you keep your makeup on

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Speaker 6: and it's the same color as the damn sheets.

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Speaker 3: Bitch, chocolate cheese. She do, Like sometimes I wonder if

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Speaker 3: people come in and look at the sheets after you

315
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Speaker 3: leave it, but like, what the fuck my entire face

316
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Speaker 3: is on it? But I listen.

317
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Speaker 6: It's those things too, because like I've been on the

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Speaker 6: road with so many people and it's like, Chelsea's so fun.

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Speaker 6: One of the favorite, my favorite things about her is

320
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Speaker 6: like when I first started doing the road with her,

321
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:15,160
Speaker 6: I would stay in my place, you know, my green room,

322
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Speaker 6: which I thought was great because sometimes you don't even

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Speaker 6: get a green room as an opener. And I would

324
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Speaker 6: be in my green room and she'd be with hers.

325
00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:22,560
Speaker 6: And then one time she came in and she was like,

326
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Speaker 6: how come you're like not it, you didn't come in here, Like,

327
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:26,560
Speaker 6: how come you don't come in with me? And I

328
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:27,920
Speaker 6: was like, I'm trying to give your space and she

329
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:29,760
Speaker 6: was like I don't want that. She was like, come

330
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Speaker 6: in there. And then we went in there and were

331
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Speaker 6: you know, Molly was there. We had an amazing time

332
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Speaker 6: and it was just fun like ever since then. It

333
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:40,960
Speaker 6: was like such a connection and I was thinking to myself, like, well,

334
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Speaker 6: I can't go wait to get back and kick it

335
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Speaker 6: with her, because sometimes you go on.

336
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Speaker 3: The road, it's the truth. Sometimes you get depressed.

337
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:47,680
Speaker 6: You're like, man, I don't want to be around this

338
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,760
Speaker 6: person or treat me like shit. They gonna make me

339
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:52,160
Speaker 6: feel whatever. She brings me on as her special guests.

340
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:56,000
Speaker 6: She's so welcoming and loving. Her audiences are so receptive

341
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:59,160
Speaker 6: and even though she comes out greets everybody, that's the

342
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,840
Speaker 6: kind of spirit have. So it's like it just makes

343
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,760
Speaker 6: everything seeing you feel seen, you feel loved.

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Speaker 3: And that's what she did for me, so like I'll

345
00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:08,280
Speaker 3: never forget that.

346
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Speaker 1: You know, yeah that is real sweet. But be able

347
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Speaker 1: to yell at you for at least six more hours.

348
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:17,520
Speaker 1: You'll find what time is your flight tonight?

349
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Speaker 3: Nine?

350
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Speaker 1: She'll be like, will you drive me to the airport?

351
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:32,240
Speaker 1: Don't you think? She'll suggest She'll suggest things that are

352
00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:35,320
Speaker 1: like great for her that no consideration of how it

353
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Speaker 1: would make me feel.

354
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Speaker 2: Also, no one wants to drive anyone.

355
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Speaker 6: I hate having people drive. Like poor Carlos, he has

356
00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:44,840
Speaker 6: to deal with mine. I have a phobia of driving.

357
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Speaker 3: This has been for a long time. One of my

358
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,520
Speaker 3: sisters was killed in a car accident.

359
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Speaker 6: So ever since then, it was always like, you know,

360
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,320
Speaker 6: I'm constantly aware of like, oh, we're doing this. I

361
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,920
Speaker 6: don't want to die. I don't want my father to

362
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:56,600
Speaker 6: have to go through this trauma again. My family have

363
00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:59,320
Speaker 6: to go through this trauma again. But Chelsea drove me

364
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Speaker 6: the other day.

365
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Speaker 3: He drove me around.

366
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Speaker 6: She's a really great driver, and I felt good. You know,

367
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:07,400
Speaker 6: she is like surprisingly, she was really great. I was like, wow,

368
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,840
Speaker 6: I didn't trust her at all, but I did.

369
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Speaker 1: Ask you about me. You should go. She's an excellent driver.

370
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Speaker 3: Though I told you that I was yeah, she didn't

371
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Speaker 3: hear anything from me. I had no complain.

372
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Speaker 1: I was like thank you. No one and everyone in

373
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Speaker 1: my family I would disagree with you, but I appreciate

374
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,080
Speaker 1: you recognizing.

375
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,800
Speaker 3: Maybe they think it's scary, but I'm like, she's on

376
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:31,480
Speaker 3: top of it.

377
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:34,800
Speaker 6: Part of driving that people don't have it's people are

378
00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:36,840
Speaker 6: doing a thousand things that are not paying attention and

379
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:38,000
Speaker 6: they're not aware.

380
00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:38,440
Speaker 3: Of the surroundings.

381
00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:41,600
Speaker 6: That's what makes it dangerous. But Chelsea is very aware

382
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,960
Speaker 6: of what's going on. She's a Pisces. Pisces are like that,

383
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:47,200
Speaker 6: detail orientated and they also don't fuck around.

384
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Speaker 3: So that's why.

385
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:51,080
Speaker 6: You know, my other friend Andy, who I'm obsessed with,

386
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,600
Speaker 6: he's a Pisces. I've had Pisces in my life. I

387
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:57,240
Speaker 6: just love Pisces. They get along with Scorpio well, and

388
00:16:57,920 --> 00:16:59,840
Speaker 6: it just feels goods too.

389
00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:00,960
Speaker 9: There you go.

390
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:03,120
Speaker 8: Any time?

391
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:08,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, there you go. Yeah, well, baby, I was.

392
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:12,720
Speaker 1: Just thinking about astrology and like how often it comes

393
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:13,359
Speaker 1: up with it.

394
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,639
Speaker 3: It does come up a lot. Yeah, it started.

395
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:18,960
Speaker 1: Are you well versed on every sign like this?

396
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:22,360
Speaker 3: Every time I have sex with a man, I'm.

397
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:25,600
Speaker 1: I'm the phoner in person because she has fun sex.

398
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:28,480
Speaker 11: On the road.

399
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,600
Speaker 1: They look at that look right there is First of all,

400
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:36,240
Speaker 1: she has five personalities. One is Rashonda, the one is Lucy,

401
00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:38,639
Speaker 1: one is Denzel, and then.

402
00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:41,760
Speaker 6: One is don But I told you, I said I

403
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:45,720
Speaker 6: will not let your white ass called me, So you've.

404
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:49,520
Speaker 3: Got to find a new name. It'd be Barbara or

405
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:53,800
Speaker 3: some ship like that, but is the helpful spirit.

406
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,840
Speaker 1: Lucy will come in out of nowhere and all of

407
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:57,960
Speaker 1: a sudden because she has you know, she has different

408
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:02,280
Speaker 1: accents she talks in, so she's bored line or something. Yeah,

409
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,920
Speaker 1: borderline five of them. I thought borderline meant too, but

410
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:09,959
Speaker 1: it's not. That's a slip personality she has like several

411
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:13,280
Speaker 1: people I do. So it's pretty tricky because she but

412
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:16,000
Speaker 1: the good thing is is that she can always snap

413
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,960
Speaker 1: back quickly, so it doesn't like, even though it's a

414
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:22,399
Speaker 1: very a lot of drama. And I'm saying that in

415
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:25,680
Speaker 1: a patronizing way kind of like, even though it comes

416
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:27,760
Speaker 1: with a lot of drama, she recovers from the drama,

417
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,639
Speaker 1: so the drama doesn't last. There's no it's not a

418
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:32,280
Speaker 1: long duration. Yeah, but there's always drama.

419
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:35,000
Speaker 6: But the thing about it is the thing and I

420
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:38,879
Speaker 6: think they're learning this. I have to internalize everything so

421
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,400
Speaker 6: I can deal with it. So that's why it doesn't stay.

422
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:41,800
Speaker 1: It's you.

423
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:43,639
Speaker 6: If you catch me in the midst of dealing with

424
00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:47,480
Speaker 6: something that's drama, I'm focused and my spirit is on that.

425
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,040
Speaker 6: So you'd be like, oh my god, Yeahma, what's wrong

426
00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:51,800
Speaker 6: with you really just leave me, give me five minutes

427
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,320
Speaker 6: to process this, and by the time you come back

428
00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:56,720
Speaker 6: to me, I'm gonna be fine because my drama is

429
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:59,760
Speaker 6: never with the people. It's always my environment, and I'm

430
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,080
Speaker 6: trying to clear that up. But I don't if I'm

431
00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:03,720
Speaker 6: not like, if I don't like you, I wouldn't be

432
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,440
Speaker 6: around you. So I always tell people like, if I'm

433
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:09,199
Speaker 6: gonna be upset, I may have an attitude, I may

434
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:12,479
Speaker 6: get scared, but it's not directed at you. And I'm

435
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:14,720
Speaker 6: also trying to fix that for myself so that I

436
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:18,080
Speaker 6: can come back to you and be Yama again, you know,

437
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:19,080
Speaker 6: like the funny girl.

438
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:25,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's really funny watching also not funny, I guess,

439
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,960
Speaker 1: more interesting and like from like our own experiences, Like

440
00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:31,679
Speaker 1: watching how she goes through the world is like ridiculous.

441
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,000
Speaker 1: It's shocking to me. I'm shocked cause she's the type

442
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,399
Speaker 1: B personality, but she do but but she's also like

443
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:41,200
Speaker 1: her background and her experiences are so different than mine.

444
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,720
Speaker 1: So for us to come together and to be able

445
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,119
Speaker 1: to like share, of course, she wants to sleep in

446
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:47,800
Speaker 1: my room because she's like, oh, you got your fucking

447
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:51,119
Speaker 1: shit dialed in, Let's go it's time my shit is

448
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,920
Speaker 1: dialed in because you know, I've had different experiences in

449
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,840
Speaker 1: my life and like, well, you know that that contrast

450
00:19:57,040 --> 00:20:00,119
Speaker 1: is very like fun to learn about, you know, oh,

451
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:02,000
Speaker 1: like someone's experience that is so different.

452
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:04,840
Speaker 3: Well for me, like, okay, so my background is.

453
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,640
Speaker 6: In terms of you being Puerto Rican, I was sure.

454
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,560
Speaker 6: I've always been isolated as a person. I mean, I

455
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:15,680
Speaker 6: have three beautiful half sisters. We have different mothers. One

456
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,199
Speaker 6: is in heaven, two are living. But I grew up

457
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,360
Speaker 6: an only child, and I grew up a theater kid

458
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:22,879
Speaker 6: as well, and I went to parochial school where a

459
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,680
Speaker 6: lot of shit was going on. I was being you know,

460
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:27,720
Speaker 6: I was being called the N word every day. A

461
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:30,680
Speaker 6: whole bunch of shit was going on. So I withdrew

462
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:34,320
Speaker 6: very early on in life to just be a loner,

463
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,159
Speaker 6: right and not really open up to people and be

464
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:41,520
Speaker 6: around people. And also I'm combating that I wasn't the

465
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:46,000
Speaker 6: traditional like my background is pretty conservative, and I was

466
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,760
Speaker 6: always pushing against that, you know.

467
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 3: So for me, it's like there is a reckless abandon

468
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:52,480
Speaker 3: with me. I fuck it, I don't care.

469
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,040
Speaker 6: Nobody's gonna tell me how to be, how to live

470
00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:57,320
Speaker 6: you're not going to restrict me in any ways, and

471
00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:00,840
Speaker 6: sometimes that can come off very chaotic. And then I

472
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:02,800
Speaker 6: get to be around Chelsea and I get to relax

473
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,520
Speaker 6: because she knows what she wants, She's got her head

474
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,479
Speaker 6: on straight, and everything is just in line. So sometimes

475
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,320
Speaker 6: I do feel like I can just lay with her

476
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,920
Speaker 6: and not have to worry about certain things, you know,

477
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:16,160
Speaker 6: and that feels feels good.

478
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:19,879
Speaker 1: I like to provide that you do.

479
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:23,879
Speaker 3: You know, our backgrounds are a lot more similar than

480
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:24,240
Speaker 3: you think.

481
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:27,680
Speaker 6: But I think for me to come back into a

482
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:31,560
Speaker 6: space where, like you know, I'm almost fifty, I'm forty seven,

483
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:33,920
Speaker 6: there's a lot of things going on where I'm looking

484
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 6: at myself as an adult too, Like how do I

485
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:38,040
Speaker 6: want to show up in the world. How do I

486
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:41,000
Speaker 6: want to show up around other people and make them

487
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:45,320
Speaker 6: feel better about shitty situations. I felt neglected, I felt unseen,

488
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:48,600
Speaker 6: I felt unloved. And that's why the volume is so loud,

489
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,000
Speaker 6: That's why it is so much in your face, because

490
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:54,480
Speaker 6: I know I sat home and cried, and I don't

491
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 6: want anybody else to do that. So I appreciate people

492
00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 6: who say to me, you know what, you made me

493
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,960
Speaker 6: feel good, like your material. I like what you're saying.

494
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 6: I feel represented. That's a really big deal for me.

495
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:07,680
Speaker 6: So right now, Also, my focus is just comedy. It's

496
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:09,160
Speaker 6: not necessarily where I'm living.

497
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,840
Speaker 3: What close I got on, you know, I'm just a

498
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 3: nomad running around this world, going to CVSS, going to

499
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:17,240
Speaker 3: cv CVS.

500
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:21,760
Speaker 1: Marshall's different. She was dragging around a suitcase, this little

501
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,760
Speaker 1: mini like what would you call that purse?

502
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,119
Speaker 3: It's a person is boutique in Las Vegas. It was great.

503
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 6: She didn't like it, and then I let this bitch

504
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,720
Speaker 6: pressure me into getting rid of it. When I was

505
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 6: at LaGuardia, I still had the bag. I said, oh shit,

506
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:37,520
Speaker 6: she doesn't like this bag. She's gonna dog me for

507
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,000
Speaker 6: this bag. So I went and bought a new bag

508
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:43,000
Speaker 6: at LaGuardia, and then I said to the woman that

509
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:44,760
Speaker 6: was I was buying it from. I was like, oh

510
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:45,960
Speaker 6: my god, I don't know what I'm gonna do with

511
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,480
Speaker 6: this bag, and she goes, oh, I'll find somebody to

512
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:49,960
Speaker 6: take it. I was like, I bet you will, bitch.

513
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:55,000
Speaker 6: It was a fantastic bag. But then this person told

514
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:55,520
Speaker 6: me that she.

515
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,640
Speaker 3: Didn't like it. I don't like you looked like a bag.

516
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:03,600
Speaker 1: Lady sophisticated one wasn't She was open and ship was

517
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,200
Speaker 1: spilling out of it because she's got liquids. She travels.

518
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:09,560
Speaker 1: Her suitcase is filled with different liquids like drinks, like

519
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 1: energy drinks are in the suitcase that she travels a lot.

520
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,120
Speaker 3: Of way to just liquid is good.

521
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 6: Stop eating whole ship, Stop eating substances of like conversation.

522
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 1: Did you spoke a joint?

523
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:26,119
Speaker 3: I didn't give me some of this? Oh no, I

524
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 3: got to get another one, little dog walker? I know

525
00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:31,840
Speaker 3: I should have got Remember I have that big one.

526
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:36,000
Speaker 3: Should I go get that can break doing this? You

527
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 3: didn't want that? I got the eighth of the world.

528
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:38,280
Speaker 10: Give me this.

529
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:39,479
Speaker 3: The light, the light, the light.

530
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:39,800
Speaker 7: Baby.

531
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:42,159
Speaker 3: Well it's so small.

532
00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 1: It's a dog walker.

533
00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:44,800
Speaker 3: What does that mean?

534
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 1: The fleet last?

535
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 8: The amount of time to listen to.

536
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:52,359
Speaker 1: This is really funny.

537
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:53,959
Speaker 3: This is like a snack.

538
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:55,240
Speaker 1: It's like a snack joint.

539
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 3: So the dog got to piss, poop right away and

540
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 3: then come back. Because this is my cats wouldney more

541
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:03,320
Speaker 3: than it is a bottle walk?

542
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 7: Fim?

543
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:09,399
Speaker 10: Are we supposed to take callers for this?

544
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 1: We got we got collar, all right, so let's do that.

545
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:16,199
Speaker 8: Okay, all right?

546
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:19,880
Speaker 2: Our first caller today is Bella and her subject line,

547
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:24,200
Speaker 2: by the way, is my brother's wife's lover. What Dear Chelsea,

548
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,119
Speaker 2: My brother just dropped a huge bomb on me. My

549
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:29,359
Speaker 2: brother's ten years my junior, and we have always been

550
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:31,639
Speaker 2: very close. We lived in the same building together in

551
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,360
Speaker 2: NYC for over twenty years. He moved out ten years

552
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 2: ago when he and his wife had their first child.

553
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,040
Speaker 2: While on a peaceful vacation, recently, my brother called with

554
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 2: a bombshell. He told me his wife is having a

555
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:45,359
Speaker 2: consensual affair with a female family friend. He said they

556
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,399
Speaker 2: were all open to it at first, but now his

557
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 2: wife has feelings for the other woman, who is also

558
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:53,600
Speaker 2: married to a man. I was stunned, cried, and I

559
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:57,160
Speaker 2: was upset. Not because I'm judgy. I'm open, liberal and fair.

560
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 2: My feelings were reactive for the kids and the family dynamic.

561
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:04,000
Speaker 2: He's now unhappy with the agreement and she is conflicted.

562
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:05,719
Speaker 2: My main concern is for the children.

563
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,440
Speaker 1: I did advise my brother, but I need additional advice.

564
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 1: What would you do if this was your brother? What

565
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:11,479
Speaker 1: would you advise him?

566
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:11,960
Speaker 3: Bella?

567
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:15,639
Speaker 2: Hi, Bella, Hi, We've got Yaminika here.

568
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:19,119
Speaker 3: Hi Bella, my baby, how are you.

569
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:20,959
Speaker 8: I I'm well hi, Chelsea.

570
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:24,800
Speaker 1: Oh god, what an interesting dilemma. It's kind of like

571
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,400
Speaker 1: a I mean, I know this is your family member

572
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 1: and your brother, but it's kind of like a sign

573
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:33,119
Speaker 1: of the times, like women are just like we're wrapped.

574
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 1: Women are rapped with men. They're ready for it to

575
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:38,880
Speaker 1: be with a woman like it is. It's so prevalent,

576
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 1: and it's like we're on the cusp of like it

577
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,959
Speaker 1: becoming an even bigger thing, like at the tipping point. Almost.

578
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:49,440
Speaker 9: Yeah, it's not actually the shock of the woman, it's

579
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:54,440
Speaker 9: just how she went about it and just the disrespect,

580
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 9: you know, like this big bomb.

581
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:58,160
Speaker 1: Where are things right now?

582
00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 2: Is has there been a transition at all? Everyone's still

583
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:02,119
Speaker 2: living in their same homes?

584
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:05,640
Speaker 8: Yeah, so everyone is still living in the same homes.

585
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:06,399
Speaker 7: You know.

586
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 8: My mom lives in the house too, my eighty two

587
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 8: year old mother.

588
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:13,399
Speaker 3: Oh, and she got to deal with all this musical

589
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:16,040
Speaker 3: chairs in the bedroom. Yeah, does she know what's going on?

590
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:17,520
Speaker 8: She does.

591
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 3: What's opinion about all of this?

592
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:25,360
Speaker 9: Well, she's eighty two years old, and she was incredibly

593
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:29,720
Speaker 9: shocked and you know, surprised because this is someone that

594
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 9: was hanging out with our family, Like I said, I

595
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,600
Speaker 9: moved up here, very close to my brother, the kids

596
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:40,440
Speaker 9: and everybody, and this woman was around. We had a

597
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:43,119
Speaker 9: holiday together, we had Thanksgiving together.

598
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 3: Are you still in New York?

599
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,120
Speaker 8: I'm an hour north of New York.

600
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 6: Now, whenever you come into the city, I got two

601
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 6: tickets for you. Come see me at the cellar. Okay,

602
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:55,040
Speaker 6: just for this wod deal. Maybe bring your brother in.

603
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 6: Let me know how many tikeies need. I'll take care

604
00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 6: of you. Maybe we can work this out there. I

605
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,920
Speaker 6: got you, We'll connect, Okay. I think what the problem

606
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 6: is is you see this as a betrayal. But we

607
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 6: have to go back to the beginning that it was consensual, right,

608
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,000
Speaker 6: So at some point it seems like your brother agreed

609
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:18,400
Speaker 6: to this dynamic, and you can't help falling in love

610
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,200
Speaker 6: with somebody once you open the door of intimacy. So

611
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 6: if she didn't just went into a physical thing and

612
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 6: didn't know she was going to fall in love, It's

613
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:31,200
Speaker 6: like Chelsea would say, whipsie doodle. But once you have

614
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:33,399
Speaker 6: to think about all the things that you open up

615
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 6: when you put yourself in that situation. Now, on the

616
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:39,639
Speaker 6: flip side, I do understand what you mean about the kids.

617
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 3: How they're gonna.

618
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 6: Feel this whole relationship dynamic. But we are in a

619
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:47,359
Speaker 6: time where the world is changing. In our time, if

620
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:49,959
Speaker 6: something like that happened, people would have to go to therapy,

621
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 6: nobody would know what to do, and then it would

622
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:55,880
Speaker 6: be hush hush. Now the children, your nieces and nephews

623
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 6: are also dealing with other kids who are also having

624
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 6: the sype with dynamic mix in their families, so it

625
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:03,320
Speaker 6: won't be so isolating for them.

626
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:06,200
Speaker 3: So I think if you can somehow find a way,

627
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 3: which is going to be hard.

628
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,960
Speaker 6: Right, to not be so emotional about it and see

629
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 6: how you can come in and maybe help write or

630
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 6: be a lending hand to them how they need it,

631
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:18,800
Speaker 6: that would be better served for them than the judgment

632
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:20,360
Speaker 6: that they're getting through this process.

633
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:25,000
Speaker 8: I agree with you, I do, I do. But you

634
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 8: know where we are now is in a very.

635
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:32,040
Speaker 6: Small town and everybody and everybody business right, correct.

636
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:34,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, what was the advice that you gave your brother?

637
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 9: Well, at the time, I just told them to take

638
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 9: a step back. And yes, I agree with Yaminika was consensual.

639
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:46,800
Speaker 8: You know, they were doing their thing more than I

640
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 8: ever expected.

641
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 10: But that's all good.

642
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 9: You know, you do you I think, yeah, now, it's

643
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:56,720
Speaker 9: more like the betrayal, like you said, the disrespect to

644
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 9: my mom, to the family, to the kids.

645
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 2: And wow, well I have a question about that, because

646
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,920
Speaker 2: where is the disrespect coming in. Is this our betrayal

647
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,240
Speaker 2: coming in because it sounds like everybody was on board

648
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,680
Speaker 2: with this when it started. I don't know that it

649
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 2: is a betrayal to say, well, I started a relationship

650
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:17,960
Speaker 2: with this other person with everyone's consent, and then I fell.

651
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:18,760
Speaker 3: In love with this person.

652
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,880
Speaker 9: I mean, was there other stuff going on or well

653
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,240
Speaker 9: he had asked her to stop when it started getting

654
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:29,880
Speaker 9: too crazy, because then they agreed that they were going

655
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,560
Speaker 9: to stop because it was getting out of hand, okay,

656
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 9: And then when he asked her to stop, it just continued,

657
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 9: and she was, you know, kind of sneaking around and

658
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:44,600
Speaker 9: going around and yeah, he behaved badly too during this time.

659
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 9: And then he had said to her, listen, this is

660
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:51,360
Speaker 9: going to destroy us, to destroy the family, and sure enough,

661
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 9: here we are.

662
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a belly you can't unring, you know.

663
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:59,080
Speaker 9: I guess the disrespect to me now is that she's

664
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:04,040
Speaker 9: still running around with this woman with the kids, and

665
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:06,640
Speaker 9: I just keep thinking, I mean, if it were a double.

666
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,800
Speaker 9: See if my brother now falls in love with a

667
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 9: man and takes the kids around with the man, how

668
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:13,800
Speaker 9: will she feel about.

669
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 1: I have to be really honest with you in this moment.

670
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:18,680
Speaker 1: I feel like you have I know it's your brother,

671
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:21,920
Speaker 1: but you have so much judgment coming from you. You're

672
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 1: not She's not trying to humiliate you. She's not. This

673
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 1: isn't intentional. You can't help it. Like they had an

674
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 1: open relationship and she fell in love, And I know

675
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:33,720
Speaker 1: that's hurtful for you to your brother, but like, you

676
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 1: have to let go of your anger towards her. It's

677
00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:39,920
Speaker 1: not going to be helpful. That energy is not going

678
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 1: to help the situation that you're in at all. You

679
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,680
Speaker 1: need to be a positive influence on the situation and

680
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 1: positively support your brother. You don't need to hate on

681
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:52,440
Speaker 1: this woman and what she did to support your brother. Like,

682
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 1: it's life. Shit happens. People fall in love and they

683
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 1: fall out of love, And what you can do is

684
00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 1: be a beam of light and support for your brother.

685
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,240
Speaker 1: And that's all. You don't have to deal with her Like, yes,

686
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 1: I know it's part of your life, but give her

687
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 1: a break. Just be cool.

688
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:10,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think you know, being the age that

689
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:13,400
Speaker 2: we are, we grew up in this era of compulsory

690
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:16,440
Speaker 2: heterosexuality right where it was like the default is that

691
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:19,160
Speaker 2: you are straight, and this woman, I think, has discovered that,

692
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:23,120
Speaker 2: like her sexuality is somewhere else on the spectrum other

693
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 2: than just straight.

694
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:26,600
Speaker 1: And there's a judgment for that from you as well,

695
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:29,720
Speaker 1: Like I can see you know, and you got it like, yeah,

696
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,959
Speaker 1: that's old, that's old thinking, that's like the olden times.

697
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:37,040
Speaker 1: It's okay, it's not humiliating that she's a lesbian. Now,

698
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:39,360
Speaker 1: that's not a humiliation on your family.

699
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 6: It's not a humiliation at all, right, But also the

700
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 6: sting of it is that's family, right, so it no

701
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:51,000
Speaker 6: matter what, once you betray my family, like I'm done

702
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 6: with you. When they were supposed to stop, she should

703
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 6: have been honest at that point said I can't stop

704
00:31:56,800 --> 00:32:00,240
Speaker 6: because now I'm in love. Let's take sexuality out of

705
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:02,320
Speaker 6: it for a second, because when she went into the shit,

706
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:05,480
Speaker 6: she was at the very least by because she's going

707
00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:07,320
Speaker 6: she went to go fuck a woman, not a man.

708
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 3: Okay, so we could take that off the table.

709
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:13,160
Speaker 6: What happened is whatever she found over there on that table,

710
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:18,440
Speaker 6: it was replacing more than whatever your brother was giving her.

711
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:22,840
Speaker 6: She fell in love, not in lust. In love that

712
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 6: means I want you outside of fucking you. I want

713
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 6: the relationship. I want to see you, I want to talk.

714
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 6: You are my person. And I think they need to

715
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 6: be honest about maybe they just need to separate altogether.

716
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:39,440
Speaker 8: Yes, yeah, And I'm not being judging that it's a woman. Honestly,

717
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:40,520
Speaker 8: I'm not not not judging.

718
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 6: But you know what, Bill, let me just say this,

719
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 6: and I'm saying this out of love. When you said

720
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:48,880
Speaker 6: how would they feel if my brother was going around

721
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 6: with a man? That makes it a judgment on sexuality

722
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 6: because why didn't you just say if he was going

723
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 6: around with another lover?

724
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:56,320
Speaker 7: Right?

725
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:59,080
Speaker 6: So when you say things like that, it sings like

726
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 6: maybe there's a little bit of homophobia there, maybe there's

727
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 6: some concern. Why are you so concerned about male and

728
00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 6: female in this situation? But at the same time, I

729
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:11,560
Speaker 6: think emotions are going to be high for you regardless

730
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 6: because this is your brother. The way you described him

731
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 6: in this letter was like, oh, they really fuck with

732
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 6: each other like that, and she loves her brother dad right, right,

733
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:22,680
Speaker 6: So your judgment is completely clouded in this situation.

734
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:24,680
Speaker 2: Well, and I think like the place you want to

735
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:26,520
Speaker 2: get to, or you want your brother to get to

736
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:29,840
Speaker 2: is however this shakes out whoever winds up with whom

737
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:34,720
Speaker 2: You want those kids to have happiness, to have adults

738
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 2: in their life that love them, even if.

739
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 3: That's not your brother together.

740
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, like people who love them and care for them.

741
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:44,600
Speaker 2: You want them to feel held. But like there's gonna

742
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:47,040
Speaker 2: be some complicated stuff to get to that point. So

743
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:50,000
Speaker 2: I think your role here is just to like absolutely

744
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 2: support everyone, be there for the kids, and then also

745
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,720
Speaker 2: like speak positively about their mom, like nothing is gonna

746
00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 2: come of, you know, any trash or negativity there.

747
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:03,720
Speaker 8: And definitely nothing like that. Yeah, no, I don't think

748
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:04,080
Speaker 8: you would.

749
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:07,719
Speaker 2: But just getting everyone as quickly as possible and as

750
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,279
Speaker 2: smoothly as possible to the place where like they can

751
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:14,279
Speaker 2: have multiple families that love them and everyone gets along

752
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:16,480
Speaker 2: really well, even though there's going to be some complicated

753
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:17,399
Speaker 2: stuff in the middle.

754
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:19,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it happens, It can happen.

755
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:20,719
Speaker 3: We've all seen it.

756
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:22,640
Speaker 1: Think about it like you'd want to think about it

757
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:25,600
Speaker 1: in five years, Like you handled this with grace and

758
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 1: a plum, you know, like, oh you were a beam

759
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 1: of support for people, and you helped transition them into

760
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:32,920
Speaker 1: the next phase.

761
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:35,760
Speaker 6: And I see a lot of you and me Bela

762
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 6: in terms of like like I receive information. I know

763
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 6: some of this may be grading on you, but also

764
00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 6: some of it. You're glad you know you're receiving this.

765
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:46,320
Speaker 6: Take all that we've given you, and then run it

766
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:48,520
Speaker 6: through your own filter, which is what I would be doing,

767
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:49,920
Speaker 6: and then find.

768
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 1: Out because find your local cvs H.

769
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,640
Speaker 3: But you know, I really feel for you in this situation.

770
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 6: You have such a beautiful presence about yourself and spirit,

771
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:00,759
Speaker 6: and I know you just want the best. So but

772
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:04,359
Speaker 6: I know for me there was nothing. There's nothing better

773
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:07,560
Speaker 6: in my life than my aunt, no matter what the

774
00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:08,360
Speaker 6: love of mind.

775
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:12,680
Speaker 8: And I honestly I know I'm I'm not judging. I mean,

776
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:13,400
Speaker 8: trust me.

777
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:16,839
Speaker 9: If I could describe my life in New York City,

778
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:21,440
Speaker 9: I was wild and in every gay club like it's

779
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:22,919
Speaker 9: nothing like that at all.

780
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:24,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was with you.

781
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, probably absolutely.

782
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:30,320
Speaker 8: No problem with that.

783
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 9: It's the problem I have is mainly just with with

784
00:35:34,360 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 9: the bomb that went off and the disrespect, and and

785
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:42,720
Speaker 9: I worry for my niece and nephew mainly.

786
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:46,360
Speaker 3: Really they'll be fine. I promise you they'll be fine.

787
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:47,719
Speaker 3: They really will.

788
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 6: It's not Mayberry, it's not leave it to Beava. It's

789
00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:54,960
Speaker 6: people doing all kinds of shit out here in this world.

790
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:55,440
Speaker 3: Okay.

791
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:57,759
Speaker 6: And what you told me is dame compared to what

792
00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 6: I've been showing Chelsea Dix from some guy barely know.

793
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:04,200
Speaker 3: And it's like, you know, with him off, it's like,

794
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:05,520
Speaker 3: so when you talk.

795
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:09,120
Speaker 1: About that, Yeah, she has phone sex three times is so.

796
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:14,400
Speaker 6: Amazing, you know whatever, It's gorgeous, I mean, delicious, Okay, appropriate,

797
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:14,600
Speaker 6: I know.

798
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 1: Okay, Bella, take our take our advice, like listen to

799
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:24,360
Speaker 1: what we said, and then we like we listen to

800
00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:25,800
Speaker 1: this because it will help you.

801
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:31,120
Speaker 9: Okay, yeah, yeah, I definitely will. I'll follow up and

802
00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:32,719
Speaker 9: like you all know, please.

803
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:36,239
Speaker 2: Put us in like six months or so and like

804
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:37,920
Speaker 2: let us know how things are shaking out over there.

805
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:43,479
Speaker 9: Okay, definitely, thank you, take care, bye bye.

806
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 6: That was that was always give us some really fucking

807
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:48,280
Speaker 6: great advice.

808
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 1: I can't stand in love with me. It's another personality.

809
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:55,440
Speaker 1: This is what which what?

810
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 7: This is?

811
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,480
Speaker 1: What I want to what can we call it? What's

812
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:00,200
Speaker 1: our name for the one that loves me?

813
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 7: Just me?

814
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:02,040
Speaker 1: Though?

815
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 3: Like, were you let's call her Justine.

816
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:07,719
Speaker 1: Oh that's boring. What about Lawanda?

817
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:11,719
Speaker 3: What do you always every fucking name you pull up

818
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 3: got to be so bitch that goes to the swap

819
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 3: meet in Anglewood?

820
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 1: Stop it, Chelsea, what's our next situation?

821
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:24,480
Speaker 8: Okay?

822
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 2: So with that was that was a little messy, We're

823
00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:30,400
Speaker 2: gonna about to get a little messy or these are

824
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:38,680
Speaker 2: good yes, so McKinley says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a forty

825
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:39,480
Speaker 2: three or are we.

826
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:42,439
Speaker 4: Both?

827
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:44,880
Speaker 6: Would you said it was getting messy and and you

828
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,160
Speaker 6: took the words writing about Okay?

829
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:53,839
Speaker 2: Okay, dear Chelsea, I'm a forty three year old ex

830
00:37:53,960 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 2: Mormon trans guy with two kids from parents weird. I'm

831
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 2: a forty three year old ex Mormon trans man got

832
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:12,799
Speaker 2: it with two kids from my previous marriage to a man. Okay, Yeah,

833
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:19,759
Speaker 2: my birthday is coming back, and I'm really hoping this

834
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:22,240
Speaker 2: next year is less about cleaning up all my exes.

835
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 2: Whoosie doodles. My main issue is with my kid's dad.

836
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 2: On paper, he's supposed to have visitations, but in real

837
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:32,120
Speaker 2: life I spent years bending over backwards to make visits happen.

838
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:36,400
Speaker 2: Visits eventually stopped because he constantly dropped the ball. He

839
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:38,680
Speaker 2: would drink when he had them, sometimes to the point

840
00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:40,759
Speaker 2: that the kids would call me scared or confused, and

841
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:42,759
Speaker 2: I'd have to drive an hour each way to pick

842
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 2: them up while also trying to convince the kids that

843
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 2: this was all normal dad stuff. He acts like I

844
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:50,400
Speaker 2: quote took the kids away even though he was barely

845
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:53,840
Speaker 2: showing up. Meanwhile, our youngest is exploring her gender identity

846
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 2: now and he doesn't even know, so I'm stuck between

847
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:59,160
Speaker 2: wanting to protect her privacy and feeling like I'm hiding

848
00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:01,440
Speaker 2: something huge about his own kid from a man who

849
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:05,080
Speaker 2: hasn't exactly earned trust. As a bonus side quest, I

850
00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:07,359
Speaker 2: also have an ex fiance who I own a house

851
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 2: with which we're trying to untangle after a breakup. Through

852
00:39:10,239 --> 00:39:12,240
Speaker 2: all of this, I clearly have a history of choosing

853
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:15,440
Speaker 2: bad partners, and the universe keeps handing me group projects.

854
00:39:16,239 --> 00:39:17,880
Speaker 2: Now I'm in the Midwest trying to build a good

855
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:20,759
Speaker 2: life with my girlfriend who voted for Trump, so that's

856
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:24,760
Speaker 2: already a fun plot twist, hey Be and our blended family.

857
00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:27,880
Speaker 2: I'm basically rebooting my life as this new version of me,

858
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:30,520
Speaker 2: So I'd love your advice on how to be honest

859
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 2: with my kids dad about our child exploring their gender identity,

860
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:36,520
Speaker 2: and do I start visits back up after eighteen months

861
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:38,920
Speaker 2: of none? How many chances do you give out give

862
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:41,239
Speaker 2: a checked out partner before you stop trying? And how

863
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:43,880
Speaker 2: to balance starting over new career, new partner, and new

864
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:46,359
Speaker 2: version of me with actually having time and energy left

865
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 2: for my kids. Thanks for reading and untangling this with me, McKinley.

866
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:51,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, how manic. I think you should begin.

867
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 6: First of all, let me just say, McKinley, you're the

868
00:39:57,239 --> 00:40:00,239
Speaker 6: type of person I would fall in love with. I mean, oh,

869
00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 6: like she falls in love with somebody every day every day.

870
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:06,840
Speaker 6: But also like, no, no, no, no, because I know

871
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:10,320
Speaker 6: what you're doing. You're looking for love, baby, and in

872
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,920
Speaker 6: the process of looking for love, you keep going to

873
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:15,760
Speaker 6: places that are just taking advantage of your spirit.

874
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 3: And I think it started with the Mormon Church, their garbage.

875
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:23,319
Speaker 6: I think you know it also starts with you now

876
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 6: trying to You know, you're going into a world of

877
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 6: a new identity to the world and how the world

878
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:31,400
Speaker 6: is seeing you. Then you have to have this partner

879
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:33,560
Speaker 6: that you were in love with and with and had

880
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:37,200
Speaker 6: children with, have to now discover this new identity who

881
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:40,879
Speaker 6: you are. They're probably not processing it that well, which

882
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 6: is why you have this distance.

883
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:44,239
Speaker 3: So that's another person abandoning you.

884
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:46,799
Speaker 6: Then you're like, you don't want to see your daughter

885
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:49,040
Speaker 6: go through the same thing because she's also trying to

886
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:51,880
Speaker 6: figure out what her identity is. But I can guarantee

887
00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:54,759
Speaker 6: you that your former partner has no idea how to

888
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:56,800
Speaker 6: help her at all, and if anything might be a

889
00:40:56,880 --> 00:41:01,320
Speaker 6: deterrent if after eight months eighteen months of not seeing

890
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:05,400
Speaker 6: it is done for the children, right because they cannot

891
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:09,760
Speaker 6: have this wishy washiness in their life, it is irresponsible

892
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:13,960
Speaker 6: of that person. And then because it's irresponsible, you're safeguarding

893
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:16,840
Speaker 6: your children, they have to kind of go no contact.

894
00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 6: At this point, from my perspective, what I think you

895
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 6: need to do is you need to write down what

896
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:26,759
Speaker 6: McKinley wants, what McKinley needs, so that you start going

897
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:30,800
Speaker 6: towards partners that have that. Because how you got hooked

898
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:33,840
Speaker 6: up with somebody who is a Trump supporter knowing that

899
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:36,759
Speaker 6: everything that aligns with what you got going on is

900
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:39,880
Speaker 6: anti Trump and the nonsense they have over there is

901
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:42,840
Speaker 6: because you don't have enough safeguards around your spirits, and

902
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,239
Speaker 6: you don't have enough boundaries in your life and you

903
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 6: don't love you first. Once you fix that, you don't

904
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 6: need our advice, and the rest of the shit is

905
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 6: gonna fall. You are a beautiful person, I can just

906
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:56,839
Speaker 6: tell by your smile and spirit. Thank you so much

907
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:58,759
Speaker 6: for writing this. In IF resonated with me in a

908
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 6: lot of ways because I feel abandoned a lot. I

909
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:05,399
Speaker 6: felt unseen and unloved, and I kept running after people

910
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:08,440
Speaker 6: who didn't love me because sometimes you think to yourself,

911
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:10,680
Speaker 6: if I can get somebody who doesn't love me and

912
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:13,920
Speaker 6: doesn't respect me to love me and respect me, I've

913
00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:17,200
Speaker 6: won a battle and you haven't. Okay, I hope that

914
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:20,200
Speaker 6: resonates with you. I just want to leave that with you,

915
00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 6: just in love, because I think it's more about you

916
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:26,520
Speaker 6: than anything else. Once you get with you, everything else

917
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:27,560
Speaker 6: is going to fall in place.

918
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, how is that falling on you?

919
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:33,840
Speaker 10: McKinley, that's great advice.

920
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:38,440
Speaker 11: My current girlfriend i'm with voted for Trump and she

921
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:42,800
Speaker 11: actually is a really good person for me.

922
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:46,239
Speaker 10: So my problem that I have with is not with

923
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:47,520
Speaker 10: my current girlfriend.

924
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:49,920
Speaker 3: No, no, no, but it should be. It should be.

925
00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:52,400
Speaker 6: Let me tell you why it should be right. We

926
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:56,279
Speaker 6: have to be real about assessments. And I'll bring it

927
00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:58,560
Speaker 6: back to Chelsea and I the optics on this. And

928
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:00,439
Speaker 6: I've said this before. I'm a black woman who talks

929
00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:03,080
Speaker 6: very crazy about white people. Don't trust white people, and

930
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:05,480
Speaker 6: I shouldn't write the history of white people is gross.

931
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:09,080
Speaker 3: But at the same time, it's like I wouldn't.

932
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:13,719
Speaker 6: I'm not here to like dance and prance for somebody

933
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,239
Speaker 6: because I want to be accepted and I want to

934
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,920
Speaker 6: be loved. Like over here, I know that if some

935
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:21,280
Speaker 6: shit's going down, even though I get on her nerves,

936
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:24,439
Speaker 6: this woman has my back when it comes to being

937
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:27,359
Speaker 6: a woman, a black woman, all of that support. If

938
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:31,880
Speaker 6: she didn't, I could not be here. There's something in

939
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:34,520
Speaker 6: you that you think is okay. You can't be with

940
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:38,520
Speaker 6: the Trump supert. I'm just telling you, baby, everything you got.

941
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:42,320
Speaker 6: You're a transman divorced.

942
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:46,480
Speaker 3: You understand the fact that you think she's a good person.

943
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:47,479
Speaker 3: She's a Da da da.

944
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:50,040
Speaker 6: Dad, not in this time and climate, because there's got

945
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:52,799
Speaker 6: to be something that she's got going on with her,

946
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:55,360
Speaker 6: because how could she vote for Trump when Trump is

947
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:55,880
Speaker 6: against you?

948
00:43:57,239 --> 00:43:57,439
Speaker 11: Right?

949
00:43:57,840 --> 00:43:59,880
Speaker 10: I get that sometimes you make mistakes and.

950
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:02,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.

951
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:05,399
Speaker 10: So when I had a phone call with her because

952
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 10: I met her online.

953
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 11: Two hours into the phone call was when I dropped

954
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:12,960
Speaker 11: the whole Hey probably didn't realize I'm a trans mail

955
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:17,279
Speaker 11: on my profile. And she said, at this point, I

956
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:20,640
Speaker 11: would be a complete idiot to not give this a chance.

957
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:25,160
Speaker 11: And that was about six months ago. So we just

958
00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:27,320
Speaker 11: started dating it in January.

959
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:30,920
Speaker 6: No that baby, Listen to me, I say the same thing.

960
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:33,919
Speaker 6: Everybody's lying. Okay, I'm not telling people.

961
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:35,120
Speaker 3: I'm a comedian. I tell men.

962
00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:37,880
Speaker 6: I teach blind cats how to read. So the reality

963
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:40,239
Speaker 6: is people are saying all kinds of shit. It's been

964
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:43,680
Speaker 6: six months. She would be a fool right to adhere

965
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:46,239
Speaker 6: to what she got going on to lose out on you.

966
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:49,359
Speaker 6: But the reality is there's going to be a time

967
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:52,759
Speaker 6: when she's gonna have to choose between you and what

968
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:57,040
Speaker 6: she believes in. And I'm telling you, baby, that's dangerous

969
00:44:57,239 --> 00:44:58,719
Speaker 6: territory for you.

970
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:03,800
Speaker 1: Okay, I hear, Yeah, Yeah, I agree with her. I

971
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:04,160
Speaker 1: think that.

972
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:04,560
Speaker 7: Yeah.

973
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:07,960
Speaker 1: You it's like you have a pattern of behavior that's

974
00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:11,000
Speaker 1: like a pathology, and you kind of have to nip

975
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:13,840
Speaker 1: it in the bud, like you're not looking after yourself.

976
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:17,920
Speaker 1: That's why it's like a repetition of kind of bad choices.

977
00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:21,440
Speaker 2: Well, and I get why it feels comfortable right, because

978
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 2: it's like, you know, you're coming out of this previous relationship.

979
00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:27,200
Speaker 2: Things are tumultuous with work and with your ex and

980
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:29,520
Speaker 2: all these things, but or x is and all these things,

981
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:32,239
Speaker 2: but this feels comfortable, right, Like this feels like.

982
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:34,640
Speaker 1: A like a cozy, safe space where you were held.

983
00:45:34,680 --> 00:45:37,640
Speaker 2: But I do think that Yamanika is right, Like when

984
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:40,680
Speaker 2: it comes down to her choosing between her church that

985
00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 2: has very conservative views like her beliefs, and her relationship

986
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:46,640
Speaker 2: with you, I think there's going to be a.

987
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:47,680
Speaker 3: Dividing point there.

988
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 2: But I want to also go back to what Yamanika

989
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:55,560
Speaker 2: was saying about how we fill the void that's happening

990
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:59,520
Speaker 2: for you and how we get McKinley to love McKinley

991
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,520
Speaker 2: so that you can stand on your own two feet.

992
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:06,800
Speaker 2: And are you in any kind of therapy seeing anybody

993
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:07,800
Speaker 2: in that capacity?

994
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:12,279
Speaker 11: I was in therapy, and I was on medicine, and

995
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:16,439
Speaker 11: I work at a company that doesn't provide very good

996
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:20,319
Speaker 11: insurance coverage, so I have to wait until next month

997
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 11: to start therapy again.

998
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 3: Mary J.

999
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:26,440
Speaker 6: Blige has a song called good Morning gorgeous, right, yes,

1000
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:28,920
Speaker 6: And it's like at first I was like, this is

1001
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:31,640
Speaker 6: so ridiculous, you know, like you got to do this,

1002
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:34,840
Speaker 6: But I started getting into that song and it's like

1003
00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:38,239
Speaker 6: you need to get up in the morning and say

1004
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:39,920
Speaker 6: good morning gorgeous to yourself.

1005
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:41,400
Speaker 3: I can see it all.

1006
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:43,880
Speaker 6: Over you, and not as a judgment, it's because I

1007
00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:46,680
Speaker 6: am like that too. This is like really sensitive and

1008
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:48,879
Speaker 6: you're trying to hold it all in but it's hurting

1009
00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 6: you at the same time. And as long as you're

1010
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 6: okay and acquiesced to the bullshit around you, you think

1011
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:58,720
Speaker 6: you'll be safe, but you won't. You're a great person, amazing,

1012
00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:01,000
Speaker 6: like just from the presence of you. I want you

1013
00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:03,080
Speaker 6: to know that, and I don't know if you see

1014
00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:07,800
Speaker 6: that in you and you got to, baby, you have to.

1015
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 10: I'm trying.

1016
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:10,080
Speaker 3: No, you really do.

1017
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:13,120
Speaker 6: Immediately when I saw you on the screen, I said, wow,

1018
00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:15,160
Speaker 6: just so beautiful.

1019
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:15,840
Speaker 3: Really.

1020
00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:18,879
Speaker 11: I tried so hard, and I've been trying to ask

1021
00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:21,719
Speaker 11: for help. It's like I get nine yards out of

1022
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:24,200
Speaker 11: the ten yards and I can't freaking get that one yard.

1023
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:27,040
Speaker 11: And it's like I try to ask help for everywhere

1024
00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:29,160
Speaker 11: and try to figure things out and I'm just so

1025
00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:31,360
Speaker 11: financially screwed trying.

1026
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 10: You know, it's just like how do you do all

1027
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:33,520
Speaker 10: these things?

1028
00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:33,719
Speaker 4: You know?

1029
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:34,400
Speaker 10: How do you like?

1030
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:37,279
Speaker 11: I have all this paths I'm trying to protect and

1031
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:39,799
Speaker 11: protect my future and trying to do so many things.

1032
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:43,560
Speaker 10: It's just so hard. Oh sorry, No, you're okay.

1033
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:46,279
Speaker 3: We're also going through this city, you know what I mean.

1034
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:49,880
Speaker 6: Like I cried, Chelsea cries, you know, We've cried to

1035
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:52,360
Speaker 6: each other, like You're not alone in this feeling.

1036
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:53,560
Speaker 3: It feels so isolating.

1037
00:47:53,640 --> 00:47:57,839
Speaker 6: But I promise you and I understand finances, God knows

1038
00:47:57,960 --> 00:47:59,399
Speaker 6: you know, and I understand all those things.

1039
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:01,799
Speaker 3: They can change the fabric of your life.

1040
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:04,400
Speaker 6: But the first thing you have to do is you

1041
00:48:04,719 --> 00:48:07,800
Speaker 6: have to love you and really know that all the

1042
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:10,520
Speaker 6: decisions of that happen in your life have to be

1043
00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:13,000
Speaker 6: because they are going to benefit McKinley. Do you understand,

1044
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:15,799
Speaker 6: because if not, if finance is not going to get good,

1045
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:17,960
Speaker 6: the relationship is not going to get good. You're going

1046
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:21,000
Speaker 6: to keep chasing things that don't serve you because, like

1047
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:24,160
Speaker 6: Catherine said, you just want to be comfortable, but you're

1048
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 6: unfortunately comfortable in trauma.

1049
00:48:26,719 --> 00:48:28,560
Speaker 10: I think I'm just like in survival mode.

1050
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:32,160
Speaker 2: I'm just trying to just I mean, individual therapy isn't

1051
00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:34,560
Speaker 2: something that can happen right now for financial or any

1052
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:37,239
Speaker 2: other reasons. Let's find you a support group in your

1053
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:39,719
Speaker 2: area so that you have some outlet for this, Like

1054
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:44,520
Speaker 2: we need weekly support right right. You don't have to

1055
00:48:44,560 --> 00:48:46,200
Speaker 2: do this alone, and we don't want you to.

1056
00:48:46,239 --> 00:48:49,440
Speaker 10: Do this alone. Thank you, Yeah, thank you. I appreciate it.

1057
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:51,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, And Chelsea, what would you say as far as

1058
00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:53,640
Speaker 2: like if there's a step that McKinley can take every

1059
00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:56,040
Speaker 2: single day to just get in touch with himself and

1060
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:58,000
Speaker 2: listen to himself, what would.

1061
00:48:57,920 --> 00:48:59,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, you should get up in the mornings and write

1062
00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 1: down like you are magnificent, you are magnetic, and you

1063
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:08,359
Speaker 1: are resilient, and like write those three things down each

1064
00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:11,640
Speaker 1: morning and you're you know, on a piece of paper

1065
00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 1: and start saying that to yourself.

1066
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:17,680
Speaker 10: Okay, that was magnificent, resilient. What was the second one?

1067
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:19,160
Speaker 1: Magnetic?

1068
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:20,440
Speaker 10: Magnetic?

1069
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:22,759
Speaker 3: Thank you? And also go find your own words. I

1070
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:24,560
Speaker 3: wouldn't be writing too many things down that she says.

1071
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:28,600
Speaker 3: You know what, Chelsea is my god, so I will

1072
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:31,320
Speaker 3: listen mad decisions again.

1073
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:33,600
Speaker 1: Hey, I'm your god.

1074
00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:43,799
Speaker 3: To honey, I wish the little but Jesus Christ, all

1075
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:45,759
Speaker 3: of us did. You wouldn't even cross the street to

1076
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:46,640
Speaker 3: get me a hot.

1077
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:57,480
Speaker 1: Lordo's you're nos, LORDO.

1078
00:49:57,880 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 3: That is correct.

1079
00:49:59,640 --> 00:49:59,839
Speaker 1: Lord.

1080
00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:03,520
Speaker 10: I served them, I served a mission and had to

1081
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 10: learn Spanish.

1082
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:05,120
Speaker 7: It could be.

1083
00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:12,839
Speaker 2: Will you check in with me, let me know if

1084
00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:14,479
Speaker 2: you can find something in your marrea.

1085
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:15,560
Speaker 8: If not, I'm going to help you.

1086
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:17,400
Speaker 1: Look like that.

1087
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:20,200
Speaker 3: You can have a group every week.

1088
00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:24,080
Speaker 2: But will you check in with me like pretty quickly

1089
00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:25,759
Speaker 2: and well we'll get you on the right track.

1090
00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:27,040
Speaker 1: Thanks for calling.

1091
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:29,120
Speaker 7: You so much.

1092
00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:34,480
Speaker 3: We do love you, love you, love you. Of course.

1093
00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:40,200
Speaker 1: I do have one more collar.

1094
00:50:40,360 --> 00:50:41,080
Speaker 8: If you're ready.

1095
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 3: To help it, let's go.

1096
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:47,479
Speaker 1: Let's okay.

1097
00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:50,720
Speaker 2: Our last caller is Katie and she says, you're Chelsea.

1098
00:50:51,160 --> 00:50:53,360
Speaker 2: I need advice for how to deal with my sister.

1099
00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:55,759
Speaker 2: We're both in our fifties and a year apart. We

1100
00:50:55,880 --> 00:50:57,799
Speaker 2: were very close as children, but we went in very

1101
00:50:57,840 --> 00:51:01,480
Speaker 2: different directions directions as adults. That said, we still live

1102
00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:02,920
Speaker 2: in the town where we grew up, and we're both

1103
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:06,080
Speaker 2: close with our mother and extended family. Here's the problem.

1104
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:09,600
Speaker 2: There was no inciting event, but over the last several years,

1105
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:12,040
Speaker 2: maybe even going back to our early thirties. We're like

1106
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:15,720
Speaker 2: oil and water. We tolerate each other, but there's constant tension.

1107
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 2: I know I'm not perfect, but it feels like she's

1108
00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:21,760
Speaker 2: constantly sniping at me, criticizing me, being negative, and cutting

1109
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:24,320
Speaker 2: me down. I've been sober for almost three years, and

1110
00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:27,320
Speaker 2: I'm committed to live and let live toward life in general.

1111
00:51:27,600 --> 00:51:29,479
Speaker 2: I try to tune her out and be the bigger person,

1112
00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:32,160
Speaker 2: but gets harder every time I see her. We just

1113
00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:34,080
Speaker 2: spent the weekend traveling with our eighty year old mom

1114
00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:36,280
Speaker 2: for our family event, and I'm ready to never speak

1115
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:38,600
Speaker 2: to her again. But that would break my mom's heart,

1116
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:40,799
Speaker 2: which is out of the question. I also don't want

1117
00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:43,000
Speaker 2: to lose my only sister, but maybe I already have.

1118
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:45,880
Speaker 2: I know you've been through a lot with your extended family, Chelsea,

1119
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:47,959
Speaker 2: so any thoughts. I appreciate you and your team.

1120
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:53,120
Speaker 1: Katie. Hi, Hi, Hi, Hi, Hi? How are you o?

1121
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:55,279
Speaker 8: Katie Gat It's so exciting to be here.

1122
00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:57,200
Speaker 1: Hi, this is Yamy, I have you.

1123
00:51:57,440 --> 00:51:57,560
Speaker 11: Hi.

1124
00:51:57,640 --> 00:51:58,880
Speaker 3: I'm Yaminika Katie.

1125
00:51:59,160 --> 00:51:59,920
Speaker 1: Oh, oh my god.

1126
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,080
Speaker 7: I'll try to watch my mouth in your presence.

1127
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:03,239
Speaker 10: I know how sensitive you.

1128
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:06,520
Speaker 3: Are, baby, so look at cutie pye, you try to

1129
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:07,160
Speaker 3: be my sister?

1130
00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:11,080
Speaker 1: Well wait, what's the situations? Why can't you get?

1131
00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:11,320
Speaker 7: What?

1132
00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:13,520
Speaker 1: Is she so annoying and you're so annoying to her?

1133
00:52:14,440 --> 00:52:16,879
Speaker 1: You both hate each other like annoy each other kind

1134
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:20,080
Speaker 1: of Yeah, are you angry at her about something?

1135
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:23,160
Speaker 7: After this trip that we went on, my husband said

1136
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:25,080
Speaker 7: the only solution he saw was that we go in.

1137
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:26,520
Speaker 10: The backyard with boxing gloves.

1138
00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:31,560
Speaker 6: Oh all right, Well there's a resentment somewhere. Where's the resentment?

1139
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:32,960
Speaker 7: I don't know.

1140
00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:36,240
Speaker 10: I mean, I could, I could make some guesses.

1141
00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:39,040
Speaker 7: I mean, I think that our lives have turned out.

1142
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:42,359
Speaker 7: You know, our lives have turned out basically the way

1143
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:44,640
Speaker 7: that we wanted them to. You know, I always wanted

1144
00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:46,919
Speaker 7: to be a career person, and I am. My sister

1145
00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:49,080
Speaker 7: is a stay at home mom, and she loves her

1146
00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:52,080
Speaker 7: kids and she loves that. But it seems like I

1147
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:54,399
Speaker 7: think she resents the freedom that I have. I mean,

1148
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:56,080
Speaker 7: if I had to guess, i'd say what that is?

1149
00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:58,640
Speaker 7: But it's so hard to have an honest conversation with

1150
00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:00,680
Speaker 7: her that I'm speculating when I say that.

1151
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:03,879
Speaker 1: So, what's your issue with her?

1152
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:08,400
Speaker 7: It's just it's the constant cutdowns, It's the constant.

1153
00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:10,080
Speaker 1: It's just she's cutting down.

1154
00:53:11,040 --> 00:53:14,600
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean she's trying to belittle you because I

1155
00:53:14,680 --> 00:53:17,520
Speaker 6: think I don't think she probably is as happy as

1156
00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:20,839
Speaker 6: you think she is or satisfied. Right. I think I'm

1157
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:23,239
Speaker 6: not a mother and I've never been able to fool

1158
00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:25,600
Speaker 6: a man into marrying me. But I can tell you

1159
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:29,800
Speaker 6: this that there is a sense of accomplishment quite early

1160
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:33,360
Speaker 6: once you go into relationship that probably goes into marriage

1161
00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:36,360
Speaker 6: and then children, and then after that you have to

1162
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:39,120
Speaker 6: look at yourself and go what's next. That's something that

1163
00:53:39,280 --> 00:53:41,520
Speaker 6: you don't have to worry about as a career woman,

1164
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:44,319
Speaker 6: because what next is the career thing. You haven't really

1165
00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:47,919
Speaker 6: locked down life. People are locking down life early seeing

1166
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,680
Speaker 6: people do an evolve beyond where they've stopped.

1167
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:52,040
Speaker 3: And then there's a resentment.

1168
00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:55,040
Speaker 6: So because she feels bad about what you got going

1169
00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:57,600
Speaker 6: on in the freedom you got, she wants to cut

1170
00:53:57,680 --> 00:53:59,239
Speaker 6: you down and make you feel the same as her.

1171
00:53:59,800 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 6: You cannot be in a relationship like that without communicating. Hey, listen,

1172
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:07,960
Speaker 6: I don't like when you say this. I don't like

1173
00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:09,759
Speaker 6: when you say that it makes me feel this way.

1174
00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:12,040
Speaker 6: If they love you enough and respect you enough, then

1175
00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:14,320
Speaker 6: they will hear it. If they don't, then you just

1176
00:54:14,440 --> 00:54:17,880
Speaker 6: have to separate. But you can't force your sister to

1177
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:20,440
Speaker 6: have a conversation with you. If she doesn't want to

1178
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:22,839
Speaker 6: have a conversation with you, and if she's not going

1179
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:25,680
Speaker 6: to talk or communicate her real feelings to you, then

1180
00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:28,600
Speaker 6: you have to either limit contact or go no contact.

1181
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:31,680
Speaker 1: When she's cutting you down, what's your reaction to that?

1182
00:54:32,760 --> 00:54:35,759
Speaker 7: I just I kind of go gray rock, you know.

1183
00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:40,960
Speaker 7: I just I associate. Yeah, honestly, sometimes I sometimes I

1184
00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:43,200
Speaker 7: try to change the subject. It just depends on who

1185
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:46,520
Speaker 7: else is around us. Very rarely is it just her

1186
00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:48,799
Speaker 7: and I, because I don't spend time with her unless

1187
00:54:48,920 --> 00:54:51,400
Speaker 7: I really have to because of the larger family, and

1188
00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:54,680
Speaker 7: I don't want to be rude or cause a you know,

1189
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:59,359
Speaker 7: a big family kerfuffle by telling her. You know you're

1190
00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:01,480
Speaker 7: being rude, being a jerk. Can you stop? You know,

1191
00:55:01,680 --> 00:55:04,120
Speaker 7: it just feels so impossible to me because of the

1192
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:05,760
Speaker 7: larger family dynamic.

1193
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:08,520
Speaker 6: Let me ask you something, when you get angry, do

1194
00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:11,080
Speaker 6: you really like is it uncontrollable anger?

1195
00:55:14,760 --> 00:55:20,120
Speaker 7: I'm I'm an enneagram one, if that makes any sense.

1196
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:23,560
Speaker 7: I'm a you know, the perfectionist type that just internalizes.

1197
00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:25,319
Speaker 1: What's your star signs? Should that'll make sense to her?

1198
00:55:25,520 --> 00:55:26,960
Speaker 3: No, that's not what I'm saying to you.

1199
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:28,800
Speaker 6: Is what I do a lot, and it gets me

1200
00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:33,719
Speaker 6: in problems, right, is because I know, like, once you

1201
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:36,040
Speaker 6: piss me off, once I've gotten pissed off and I've

1202
00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:39,960
Speaker 6: gone beyond, there's no I'm I'm getting ready to get

1203
00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:43,000
Speaker 6: with your ass in a really wild way. Right And

1204
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:45,840
Speaker 6: probably when I'm done getting with you, we're gonna have

1205
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:48,400
Speaker 6: to sever tize unless you can emotionally get over the

1206
00:55:48,480 --> 00:55:51,000
Speaker 6: fact that I just ran you into the ground. So

1207
00:55:51,120 --> 00:55:53,680
Speaker 6: a lot of times I try to avoid those situations

1208
00:55:53,760 --> 00:55:56,800
Speaker 6: by being the nicer person, the bigger person, or the

1209
00:55:56,960 --> 00:56:00,400
Speaker 6: ah you know, and over time that bill up and

1210
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:03,759
Speaker 6: it's frustrating to you because it's like you're going great

1211
00:56:03,840 --> 00:56:04,600
Speaker 6: rock all the time.

1212
00:56:04,680 --> 00:56:08,040
Speaker 3: Why your sister going hot lava? You need to get

1213
00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:10,680
Speaker 3: with her in these moments. You need to be like, hey, bitch,

1214
00:56:10,719 --> 00:56:13,759
Speaker 3: hold on a second, why are you talking crazy to

1215
00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:16,480
Speaker 3: me like that? What's up? What have I done? No,

1216
00:56:16,640 --> 00:56:19,120
Speaker 3: because as long as you allow it, it's going to

1217
00:56:19,239 --> 00:56:19,800
Speaker 3: get done that.

1218
00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:23,040
Speaker 1: I agree. I think like you have to face it honestly,

1219
00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:25,440
Speaker 1: like and and even if she can't be honest. You

1220
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:27,640
Speaker 1: have to get her to be honest, like you have

1221
00:56:27,760 --> 00:56:30,200
Speaker 1: to be like, listen, this is ridiculous. We hate each other.

1222
00:56:30,360 --> 00:56:32,640
Speaker 1: Why do we hate each other? Let's talk about it?

1223
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:34,759
Speaker 1: Would you rather? I would like to figure this out.

1224
00:56:34,880 --> 00:56:38,239
Speaker 1: Let's figure this out together, Like what what can I do?

1225
00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:41,000
Speaker 1: I'll do anything to have as a normal relation. Do

1226
00:56:41,080 --> 00:56:43,200
Speaker 1: you fucking hate me? Like you have to have like

1227
00:56:43,320 --> 00:56:45,879
Speaker 1: a moment of real honesty to get cause you guys

1228
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:49,399
Speaker 1: then can actually break all the tension and come together. Yeah,

1229
00:56:49,760 --> 00:56:54,040
Speaker 1: sorry that I'm yelling. Okay, yeah, yeah, so.

1230
00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:57,480
Speaker 3: That she was passionate. She was talking about her and I.

1231
00:56:57,640 --> 00:57:00,279
Speaker 3: That's how we we also these sisters. Did you write this?

1232
00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:03,160
Speaker 1: Let in tell he shut up? Shut up?

1233
00:57:03,760 --> 00:57:03,960
Speaker 10: Oh?

1234
00:57:05,239 --> 00:57:06,759
Speaker 1: But yeah, but I also can't.

1235
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:08,400
Speaker 7: I can't dime out Chelsea like that.

1236
00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:11,840
Speaker 1: But but also I feel like there can't be like

1237
00:57:12,200 --> 00:57:15,640
Speaker 1: tension without two people having the tension, you know what

1238
00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:18,480
Speaker 1: I mean? Like, if you can't, there has to be

1239
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:21,680
Speaker 1: something coming from you too. That is like an explosive energy,

1240
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:25,120
Speaker 1: and that's why it should. It needs to combust, you know,

1241
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:28,360
Speaker 1: Like you can't dance when somebody's not dancing. Yeah, I

1242
00:57:28,440 --> 00:57:30,760
Speaker 1: mean I can't. Actually that's The only time I should

1243
00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:32,920
Speaker 1: be dancing is when no one else is dancing.

1244
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:39,240
Speaker 3: Yo.

1245
00:57:39,520 --> 00:57:42,120
Speaker 6: But you seem like you're in this thing by yourself,

1246
00:57:42,840 --> 00:57:45,360
Speaker 6: and Chelsea's right, you got to engage you assistant in

1247
00:57:45,480 --> 00:57:48,000
Speaker 6: it because she also has to feel uncomfortable.

1248
00:57:48,200 --> 00:57:50,240
Speaker 3: And you think she writing a letter somewhere about what

1249
00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:52,120
Speaker 3: you got. You know she's not writing a letter.

1250
00:57:52,200 --> 00:57:54,200
Speaker 6: She over did baker cookies for your nieces and nephews

1251
00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:56,080
Speaker 6: and you over here trying to figure out how you're

1252
00:57:56,080 --> 00:57:58,480
Speaker 6: going to get your situation back with your sister. You guys,

1253
00:57:58,520 --> 00:58:01,400
Speaker 6: are sisters that that's important to you or it's not.

1254
00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:04,680
Speaker 6: If it is, then some egos are gonna have to shift,

1255
00:58:04,920 --> 00:58:07,680
Speaker 6: some conversations are going to have to happen, and hopefully

1256
00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:09,960
Speaker 6: at the end of it, you guys remain sisters and

1257
00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:11,360
Speaker 6: building a better relationship.

1258
00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:13,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think the time to have this conversation

1259
00:58:13,720 --> 00:58:16,240
Speaker 2: is not at first. She's just said something that activates you.

1260
00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:19,720
Speaker 2: But like before you go into time with your mom

1261
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:21,840
Speaker 2: or whatever, I can let me.

1262
00:58:21,920 --> 00:58:22,240
Speaker 3: Just say this.

1263
00:58:22,880 --> 00:58:25,720
Speaker 6: I say wait till she because then she know who

1264
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:29,479
Speaker 6: Because I'm for real. If you do this, bitch, every

1265
00:58:29,560 --> 00:58:33,760
Speaker 6: time you do this, you activate this. You understand you

1266
00:58:33,840 --> 00:58:37,240
Speaker 6: start training you do this? Did I become this?

1267
00:58:37,800 --> 00:58:39,800
Speaker 3: Right? I have the conversation with her here.

1268
00:58:39,800 --> 00:58:41,560
Speaker 6: If you want to keep meeting me here, bitch, I'm

1269
00:58:41,560 --> 00:58:44,160
Speaker 6: available to meet you here at this Sorry to keep going.

1270
00:58:44,160 --> 00:58:45,880
Speaker 3: Your sister bitch, what are y'all's a bitch?

1271
00:58:46,720 --> 00:58:48,640
Speaker 7: But you know what?

1272
00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:51,160
Speaker 3: Right for sure? What he is a bitch? I don't know.

1273
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:53,120
Speaker 3: We got to hear your sister's story. Maybe she'll right

1274
00:58:53,120 --> 00:58:53,720
Speaker 3: there next week.

1275
00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:57,840
Speaker 6: But what I'm telling you is the reality is every

1276
00:58:57,960 --> 00:59:00,720
Speaker 6: time she's like this, you got to give her the

1277
00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:03,959
Speaker 6: results of what that is, so that at some point

1278
00:59:04,040 --> 00:59:06,200
Speaker 6: she probably go, whoa, hey, can we talk?

1279
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:08,480
Speaker 3: She might be coming to you to talk because if

1280
00:59:08,560 --> 00:59:10,280
Speaker 3: you're gonna be a warm, bad bitch, so am I.

1281
00:59:10,720 --> 00:59:13,000
Speaker 7: That would shock her so badly because I think everyone

1282
00:59:13,040 --> 00:59:14,960
Speaker 7: in my family is so used to me being.

1283
00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:18,280
Speaker 3: Like, uh, you know, just so non reactive. Yeah, yeah,

1284
00:59:18,280 --> 00:59:19,520
Speaker 3: that's how I do. And she's not.

1285
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:21,600
Speaker 2: She's not saying this stuff to you to knock at

1286
00:59:21,640 --> 00:59:24,120
Speaker 2: a reaction. She might be surprised at a reaction, but

1287
00:59:24,240 --> 00:59:26,280
Speaker 2: she's saying it to go do you. I mean, even

1288
00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:29,400
Speaker 2: if it's something as simple as like she says something shitdn'

1289
00:59:29,400 --> 00:59:31,919
Speaker 2: hear like wow, I can't believe you felt comfortable saying

1290
00:59:31,960 --> 00:59:33,960
Speaker 2: that to me, or I can't believe you felt it

1291
00:59:34,040 --> 00:59:34,480
Speaker 2: was okay to.

1292
00:59:34,480 --> 00:59:36,480
Speaker 3: Say I can't believe it's not butter bitch.

1293
00:59:36,560 --> 00:59:38,680
Speaker 6: But I'm telling you right now, is the next time

1294
00:59:38,760 --> 00:59:42,040
Speaker 6: you say something wild to me, I'm all over the place.

1295
00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:45,000
Speaker 3: You have the profile of a serial killer.

1296
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:49,680
Speaker 6: You're the sayd serial killers, laid, dormant, nothing, doing nothing.

1297
00:59:49,800 --> 00:59:52,600
Speaker 6: They also running businesses and bacon cookies and shit, and

1298
00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:55,240
Speaker 6: then one day you're gonna flip out. I make sure

1299
00:59:55,280 --> 00:59:57,439
Speaker 6: it redect my address from anything that might.

1300
00:59:57,360 --> 00:59:58,160
Speaker 3: Be on any paperwork.

1301
00:59:58,200 --> 01:00:00,440
Speaker 6: If you're not gonna come kill me for giving you advice,

1302
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:01,720
Speaker 6: I can tell you where Chelsea lives.

1303
01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:09,040
Speaker 1: Actually, I have to move because you stayed here. Oh

1304
01:00:09,120 --> 01:00:09,640
Speaker 1: that's the thing.

1305
01:00:09,680 --> 01:00:10,400
Speaker 10: They gotta move.

1306
01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:15,840
Speaker 7: I have considered from time to time saying to her,

1307
01:00:16,200 --> 01:00:17,280
Speaker 7: you know, I'm sorry.

1308
01:00:17,440 --> 01:00:18,400
Speaker 1: Could you repeat that?

1309
01:00:19,640 --> 01:00:23,160
Speaker 7: She could actually hear herself say like, that's.

1310
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:25,160
Speaker 1: A good first step. Could you repeat that, that's a

1311
01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:27,320
Speaker 1: good first step on your journey back to ye.

1312
01:00:28,840 --> 01:00:29,600
Speaker 3: Could you repeat that?

1313
01:00:29,640 --> 01:00:35,040
Speaker 6: Because I know I know you want yeah, yeah, Somewhere

1314
01:00:35,080 --> 01:00:36,960
Speaker 6: in the middle is some good advice for you on this.

1315
01:00:37,160 --> 01:00:39,800
Speaker 6: I think it's somewhere in the middle.

1316
01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:44,320
Speaker 3: Like I we definitely unfortunately got sky very high, but

1317
01:00:45,240 --> 01:00:46,760
Speaker 3: that stands out like that.

1318
01:00:47,040 --> 01:00:50,240
Speaker 6: But I do I do want you, like, no matter

1319
01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:53,720
Speaker 6: what all joking aside with this, we do want you

1320
01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:56,360
Speaker 6: to have this conversation with your sister. You owe it

1321
01:00:56,480 --> 01:00:59,560
Speaker 6: to yourself because you feel a certain way about it.

1322
01:00:59,840 --> 01:01:03,080
Speaker 6: So even though it maybe you might be nervous about it,

1323
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:07,640
Speaker 6: you're intimidated by it. I promise you once you have

1324
01:01:07,720 --> 01:01:10,440
Speaker 6: that conversation, whether it's good or bad, there's gonna be

1325
01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:13,040
Speaker 6: a relief that you feel because at least you're gonna

1326
01:01:13,080 --> 01:01:15,640
Speaker 6: have some better answers than you do now.

1327
01:01:15,800 --> 01:01:17,520
Speaker 3: You have no idea what's going on with you and

1328
01:01:17,600 --> 01:01:18,040
Speaker 3: your sister.

1329
01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:18,760
Speaker 7: You know what.

1330
01:01:19,040 --> 01:01:20,000
Speaker 1: That's a very good point.

1331
01:01:20,200 --> 01:01:23,320
Speaker 2: Like I had several years ago a similar conversation with

1332
01:01:23,440 --> 01:01:26,960
Speaker 2: my sister where we like went to dinner. We knew

1333
01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:29,040
Speaker 2: we were going to hash some shit out. We had

1334
01:01:29,080 --> 01:01:32,480
Speaker 2: a lot of Martini's, Like we talked about it, and

1335
01:01:32,640 --> 01:01:34,760
Speaker 2: like there were some things that she had said to

1336
01:01:34,840 --> 01:01:36,680
Speaker 2: me in the past that she didn't know were as

1337
01:01:36,760 --> 01:01:39,720
Speaker 2: hurtful as they were, and it was, you know, repetitive stuff,

1338
01:01:40,040 --> 01:01:41,680
Speaker 2: And there were things I had said to her that

1339
01:01:41,880 --> 01:01:44,320
Speaker 2: I had no like dumb jokes I was trying to make,

1340
01:01:44,360 --> 01:01:47,000
Speaker 2: and like, oh that was really actually very hurtful to her.

1341
01:01:47,120 --> 01:01:49,840
Speaker 2: So it really was eye opening to be able to

1342
01:01:49,920 --> 01:01:52,760
Speaker 2: like have a conversation where you know, you are going

1343
01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:55,000
Speaker 2: in to have this conversation about like we need to

1344
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:57,520
Speaker 2: work some shit out, We need to figure some stuff

1345
01:01:57,520 --> 01:01:59,880
Speaker 2: out so that we can be around each other when

1346
01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:02,240
Speaker 2: we want to be here for our mom, because that's

1347
01:02:02,520 --> 01:02:03,200
Speaker 2: where you want to be.

1348
01:02:04,040 --> 01:02:06,680
Speaker 8: Right, Yeah, that is the most important thing to me, exactly.

1349
01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:09,400
Speaker 7: And you know, I like, I mean, my mom is

1350
01:02:09,440 --> 01:02:11,720
Speaker 7: in really good health, but you know, I like to

1351
01:02:11,760 --> 01:02:14,280
Speaker 7: think that she sees this tension even though she absolutely

1352
01:02:14,360 --> 01:02:16,800
Speaker 7: refuses to weigh in on it, and I think she

1353
01:02:16,880 --> 01:02:19,200
Speaker 7: would like she would like to leave this earth knowing

1354
01:02:19,240 --> 01:02:21,680
Speaker 7: that her two girls love each other and can get along.

1355
01:02:21,920 --> 01:02:22,080
Speaker 10: Yeah.

1356
01:02:22,120 --> 01:02:25,240
Speaker 1: And somebody wants to be the cycle breaker. Yeah, so

1357
01:02:25,440 --> 01:02:29,600
Speaker 1: be that person you can break my Yeah. So what

1358
01:02:29,720 --> 01:02:32,120
Speaker 1: you're doing isn't working, So you have to change your

1359
01:02:32,160 --> 01:02:36,440
Speaker 1: approach and then break the cycle. Be a disruptor. This

1360
01:02:36,600 --> 01:02:40,840
Speaker 1: is a good disruptor. You're a bad disruptor. All right, Well,

1361
01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:44,400
Speaker 1: I'm glad you called in and keep us posted. Let

1362
01:02:44,480 --> 01:02:45,160
Speaker 1: us know what happens.

1363
01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:47,720
Speaker 7: Yes, I really appreciate the advice and all the good

1364
01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:49,919
Speaker 7: advice that y'all give on your show over the years

1365
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:52,560
Speaker 7: of It's helped me a lot in different areas, and

1366
01:02:52,840 --> 01:02:55,320
Speaker 7: I've passed it along to other people that have come

1367
01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:57,960
Speaker 7: to me for advice. It's just, you know, you guys

1368
01:02:58,040 --> 01:03:00,400
Speaker 7: could be just like drinking Martini's all day and not

1369
01:03:00,520 --> 01:03:02,600
Speaker 7: helping people. But you're spending your time doing this and

1370
01:03:02,680 --> 01:03:03,680
Speaker 7: I'm really appreciate it.

1371
01:03:04,480 --> 01:03:07,200
Speaker 1: Thanks, Katie, I love that. Thank you so much.

1372
01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:08,920
Speaker 8: All Right, good luck with this conversation.

1373
01:03:09,080 --> 01:03:12,920
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, thanks, you can do it, all right,

1374
01:03:12,960 --> 01:03:15,440
Speaker 1: and that's it for us today. Thank God. This is

1375
01:03:15,480 --> 01:03:18,600
Speaker 1: so I know, I know, but I have to be honest.

1376
01:03:18,720 --> 01:03:21,680
Speaker 1: I dropped out during the middle of one of those letters.

1377
01:03:22,480 --> 01:03:24,480
Speaker 1: I just was like, my head was in the fucking

1378
01:03:24,560 --> 01:03:26,680
Speaker 1: clouds thinking about what I'm gonna eat later.

1379
01:03:29,240 --> 01:03:30,920
Speaker 8: I picked some very like complicated.

1380
01:03:31,160 --> 01:03:34,400
Speaker 1: This is a great episode, great questions. I like all

1381
01:03:34,480 --> 01:03:39,240
Speaker 1: the drama heavy stuff like that. Even when I'm today,

1382
01:03:40,840 --> 01:03:43,440
Speaker 1: I brought it and listen again. I'm so excited to

1383
01:03:43,520 --> 01:03:46,960
Speaker 1: be on Chelsea Network. This is I can't wait till

1384
01:03:46,960 --> 01:03:49,560
Speaker 1: we get you the color of your Foundation right. I

1385
01:03:49,680 --> 01:03:50,160
Speaker 1: can't wait.

1386
01:03:50,560 --> 01:03:52,840
Speaker 3: I can't wait till you stop bringing that up. Bitch.

1387
01:03:52,920 --> 01:03:55,680
Speaker 3: I told you I'm fine. Don't worry. Don't be checking

1388
01:03:55,760 --> 01:03:58,000
Speaker 3: bitches about their face. Thank you.

1389
01:03:59,120 --> 01:04:03,280
Speaker 6: So anyway, if you want to hear less helpful advice

1390
01:04:03,480 --> 01:04:07,360
Speaker 6: but more in your ass shit, please go listen to

1391
01:04:07,640 --> 01:04:11,360
Speaker 6: your The problem myself included with Yama on the Dear

1392
01:04:11,680 --> 01:04:12,720
Speaker 6: Chelsea Network.

1393
01:04:13,280 --> 01:04:15,960
Speaker 1: This is very exciting, you guys, please go listen to

1394
01:04:16,080 --> 01:04:18,400
Speaker 1: Ya so you can get a dose of her the

1395
01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:21,240
Speaker 1: way I want you to understand what my life is like.

1396
01:04:22,320 --> 01:04:27,240
Speaker 1: So I want everyone to Yeah, and you can follow

1397
01:04:27,280 --> 01:04:30,600
Speaker 1: her on Instagram also, but if you see her do

1398
01:04:30,720 --> 01:04:34,400
Speaker 1: a live please report her to me, to you or

1399
01:04:34,480 --> 01:04:36,760
Speaker 1: to answering.

1400
01:04:37,080 --> 01:04:37,240
Speaker 7: Yeah.

1401
01:04:37,640 --> 01:04:39,840
Speaker 1: Now that she has a podcast, she does not need

1402
01:04:39,920 --> 01:04:43,920
Speaker 1: to do as many lives in a blue Okay that

1403
01:04:44,160 --> 01:04:46,000
Speaker 1: means on every thirty seconds?

1404
01:04:46,120 --> 01:04:47,280
Speaker 3: No, it does it all right?

1405
01:04:47,440 --> 01:04:49,040
Speaker 1: I love you sort of?

1406
01:04:50,080 --> 01:04:50,520
Speaker 3: I love you.

1407
01:04:51,040 --> 01:04:51,440
Speaker 1: I love you?

1408
01:04:51,640 --> 01:04:52,400
Speaker 10: Okay, you know you do.

1409
01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:55,520
Speaker 1: It's called what's You're the problem? You're the problem?

1410
01:04:55,680 --> 01:04:57,120
Speaker 3: Would you like to learn the name.

1411
01:04:57,760 --> 01:05:04,640
Speaker 6: It's also Katine, I love you too. If you're the

1412
01:05:04,760 --> 01:05:09,000
Speaker 6: problem with Yama Nika on Dear Chelsea Network.

1413
01:05:09,040 --> 01:05:10,440
Speaker 1: Do you want to get a massage before you go

1414
01:05:10,520 --> 01:05:11,240
Speaker 1: to the airport tonight.

1415
01:05:11,280 --> 01:05:11,840
Speaker 3: I would love to.

1416
01:05:15,640 --> 01:05:18,360
Speaker 2: If you want advice from Chelsea, write into Dear Chelsea

1417
01:05:18,440 --> 01:05:19,960
Speaker 2: podcast at gmail dot com.

1418
01:05:20,480 --> 01:05:22,960
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartMedia.

1419
01:05:23,280 --> 01:05:26,280
Speaker 2: Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler, and find

1420
01:05:26,360 --> 01:05:30,080
Speaker 2: Katherine on TikTok at flash Cadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited

1421
01:05:30,160 --> 01:05:34,280
Speaker 2: and engineered by Brandon Dickert executive producer Katherine Law. Find

1422
01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:37,480
Speaker 2: full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix, and get

1423
01:05:37,520 --> 01:05:40,080
Speaker 2: tickets to see Chelsea live at Chelseahandler dot com.