1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,080 Speaker 1: Buggal up, Hold on tight, we gotta call you here. 2 00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:07,800 Speaker 1: It is Sawberry Letta. I know subject kind of manage 3 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:13,520 Speaker 1: a TOI save my marriage. Dear Stephen Shirley, I have 4 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,840 Speaker 1: known my husband for twenty years and we've been married 5 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,200 Speaker 1: for three years. He cheated on me multiple times with 6 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:24,400 Speaker 1: multiple women, but I'm standing by my wedding vows. I 7 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,400 Speaker 1: always prayed that the Good Lord would see us through 8 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:32,000 Speaker 1: his infidelity, and now we're rebuilding our marriage. Not many 9 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:35,520 Speaker 1: women would be as forgiving as I am. Having said 10 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:38,040 Speaker 1: all of that, I still have plenty of good sense 11 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:42,040 Speaker 1: and I've reached my limit on foolishness, So you can 12 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:45,360 Speaker 1: only imagine how I felt recently when my husband asked 13 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:49,240 Speaker 1: me for a threesome. Yes, he asked me more than 14 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,600 Speaker 1: once to have another woman join us in the bedroom. 15 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: He said that it will keep him from fantasizing about 16 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 1: other women and having the urge to cheat. I told 17 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 1: him he needs professional help and a better relationship with 18 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 1: the Lord. He told me that I need to obey 19 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 1: him like I obey the Lord and give him what 20 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:11,480 Speaker 1: he wants. Like I said, I stand by my vows, 21 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 1: and I do submit and obey my husband to an extent, 22 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 1: but this time he has gone too far. The God 23 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,560 Speaker 1: that I served would not condone this. I don't want 24 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,880 Speaker 1: to lose my marriage, but this man may need more 25 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:28,080 Speaker 1: than I can give him. Please help me figure this 26 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:31,800 Speaker 1: one out. Wow. And as we mentioned earlier, Steve will 27 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 1: not be responding. Tommy will Jesus, You're gonna have to 28 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:41,640 Speaker 1: I can, okay? All right, all right? Well you know 29 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,679 Speaker 1: what you ask for us to Please help you figure 30 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,520 Speaker 1: this one out. I think you know, in your heart 31 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:49,920 Speaker 1: of hearts you you already have this figured out. You 32 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,480 Speaker 1: know what the deal is. Uh, you just want Steve 33 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,440 Speaker 1: and I to confirm it for you. I mean, you 34 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:58,920 Speaker 1: have to ask yourself wedding vows aside for a second, 35 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 1: why are you still taking this, this cheating and these 36 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:06,600 Speaker 1: ridiculous requests from your husband? I mean, why are you 37 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:09,760 Speaker 1: still standing in all of this? Your husband is disrespectful, 38 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:13,800 Speaker 1: he's selfish, uh, and has obviously no regard for you, 39 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,280 Speaker 1: your marriage or your marriage vows. Just because you've known 40 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 1: him for twenty years and have been hanging in there, 41 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,040 Speaker 1: it doesn't mean you can't put his trifling but in 42 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,000 Speaker 1: his place. Let him know how you really really feel. 43 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 1: Just like you told us in the letter. I mean, 44 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 1: you're right. Not many women would be as forgiving as 45 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 1: you are. Uh so many women are, though, But I 46 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 1: you know, this is a lot. Twenty years, he's been 47 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,960 Speaker 1: cheating on you with multiple women, and you're still there. 48 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:44,600 Speaker 1: I mean, I just don't know how much more you 49 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:47,400 Speaker 1: think you can take. I mean, or are you willing 50 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 1: to take? Why are you willing to take this? You 51 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,400 Speaker 1: don't have to. You don't have to. There is nothing 52 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,360 Speaker 1: in the marriage vows that say you have to stay 53 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:58,840 Speaker 1: here if he's cheating on you like this. This is ridiculous. Um. 54 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 1: You know, like I said, I've think you figured this 55 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 1: out on your own. You know what to do. You 56 00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:04,720 Speaker 1: just want Steve and I to confirm it. If he 57 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,400 Speaker 1: continues to do this, you gotta get out of this. 58 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,919 Speaker 1: I think you made a good suggestion. He does need 59 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:15,520 Speaker 1: professional help and a better relationship with the Lord. Having 60 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:19,239 Speaker 1: said that, Tommy, you're up, glad you've finished with the Lord. 61 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:25,720 Speaker 1: Obey me like you obey the Lord, obey me the 62 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 1: same way. What do the vials say? What do they say, 63 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:33,600 Speaker 1: Anna and obey? Don't they say that? Yeah? A lot 64 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,320 Speaker 1: of women don't keep those in there, though, But but 65 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 1: they but so you can't just take out what you want. 66 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:40,520 Speaker 1: So let me say this to you. Get some old 67 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 1: people in this room. I didn't ask for it, and 68 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 1: ask for it now I quit flirting with other women. 69 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 1: If you do what, get some old paper in this room. 70 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:56,400 Speaker 1: I apologize for the twenty years of disrespecting you and cheating. 71 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:59,440 Speaker 1: I'm asking you not so I don't have to cheat 72 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,800 Speaker 1: on you. We do this together. You want to do 73 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:05,640 Speaker 1: stuff together, Let's do stuff together. Get some more people 74 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:09,560 Speaker 1: in this room. That's what I want. I'm asking you 75 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:13,760 Speaker 1: to your faith for a managy twice whatever they called it, trio, 76 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 1: It's what I want. Threesome. Yes, asking you for Oh 77 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 1: I hope she listening this morning? Another thing that cheat 78 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:25,920 Speaker 1: ain't stopped. And soon as you get somebody in this room, 79 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 1: we could do it together. So it's okay to cheat 80 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:32,920 Speaker 1: as long as you're in the together together. This is fun. 81 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,360 Speaker 1: This is this is Shane. This is answer. Yeah, yeah, 82 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,400 Speaker 1: what kind of you want? What you want me to 83 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 1: say to him? Oh? He wrong? He shouldn't be asking you. 84 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 1: He's not the question. Steve is wrong for letting you 85 00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:48,919 Speaker 1: do this. This is a beautiful thing. We got to 86 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,440 Speaker 1: get it all out in the open. You understand that 87 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 1: that's how naked gets better when you get it out 88 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:57,000 Speaker 1: and open. You ain't felt naked to you out there, 89 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 1: comfortable with yourself and see out there with you nick 90 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:03,680 Speaker 1: it together. And we're inviting friends over. Come on over 91 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:07,080 Speaker 1: to the High. You understand, Come over to the High. 92 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,160 Speaker 1: We're gonna have food, We're gonna have all drinks. We're 93 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,760 Speaker 1: gonna be naked, y'all. U's gonna be in there together 94 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:16,599 Speaker 1: having what button naked fun? I've never been button naked, 95 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,680 Speaker 1: not having fun? Tell me that. But if but she 96 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:21,800 Speaker 1: don't know it, if she don't try it, and she 97 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:24,520 Speaker 1: wants this to work. She loves him, man, she don't 98 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:27,440 Speaker 1: want to leave to your body. What did she say? 99 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:30,520 Speaker 1: I'm standing by my wedding bows. Yes, you are stand 100 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:34,800 Speaker 1: by your man, baby, standing by your man naked along 101 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:41,720 Speaker 1: with other people naked, do it together naked boo. A 102 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,880 Speaker 1: matter of fact, if you agree with Tommy, blow your 103 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 1: horn right now. You're not just being blown across this country. 104 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:51,760 Speaker 1: Do you hear these horns that's being blown across this 105 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,680 Speaker 1: country all me and out there. If you want what 106 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,320 Speaker 1: Tommy want, if you want the wife to allow you 107 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 1: to bring somebody by. Hey, blow your home. Wow, you're 108 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,719 Speaker 1: here and you're just gonna sit there. Stephen, just not 109 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,440 Speaker 1: say anything right now. You're here, right now. This is 110 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:09,440 Speaker 1: not about traffic. Are you gonna blow the home so 111 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:18,640 Speaker 1: your wife? Can you? Huh the horn? You know you're 112 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 1: always punching me on my pranks, but guess what I 113 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:31,880 Speaker 1: blows that hole? Blow your god? This is just okay. Well, 114 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:36,800 Speaker 1: don't let naked fool What do you mean naked wouldn't 115 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:41,839 Speaker 1: I'm trying to say something. Profile Yeah, we'll be back, 116 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:44,640 Speaker 1: hopefully Steve you can help. Yeah, I'll be talking on 117 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:49,679 Speaker 1: the next half of this. This strawberry letter the subject 118 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:53,320 Speaker 1: cant of manage twice save my marriage please. Let's first 119 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:57,320 Speaker 1: of all, it's a ridiculous statement for this woman to make. 120 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 1: She's been with this husband for twenty years. They've been 121 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:04,279 Speaker 1: married three He's cheated on her multiple times with multiple women. 122 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 1: You are she standing by her wedding vows. She's prayed 123 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,000 Speaker 1: that the Good Lord would see us through this infidelity. 124 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:15,200 Speaker 1: Now they're rebuilding their marriage, and she realizes that not 125 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,480 Speaker 1: many women would be as forgiven as I am. Having 126 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:22,559 Speaker 1: said that, uh, and she still got plenty good sense. 127 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:27,520 Speaker 1: She has reached her limit of foolishness, so I can 128 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 1: only imagine how we felt when he recently asked her 129 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:37,679 Speaker 1: for a threesome. He asked this lady more than once 130 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:42,200 Speaker 1: to have another woman join us in the bedroom. He 131 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:45,720 Speaker 1: said it will keep him from fantasizing about other women 132 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:49,440 Speaker 1: and having the urge to cheat. She told him he 133 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:52,560 Speaker 1: needs professional help and a better relationship with the Lord. 134 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,440 Speaker 1: He told her that I need to obey him like 135 00:07:56,520 --> 00:08:00,680 Speaker 1: I obey the Lord, and give him what he wants. Well, 136 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: the lady then said, I stand by my vials, and 137 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:05,960 Speaker 1: I do submit and obey my husband to an extent, 138 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:09,480 Speaker 1: but this time he's gone too far. God, I served 139 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:13,120 Speaker 1: would not condone this. I don't want to lose my marriage. 140 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 1: That's a key line here. But this man may need 141 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,559 Speaker 1: more than I can give him. Please help me figure 142 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 1: this out. It's nothing to figure this out. Listen to me. 143 00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:25,560 Speaker 1: First of all, you're the only one honoring the vials 144 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:29,440 Speaker 1: in this relationship. You're the only one. He has never 145 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,880 Speaker 1: all honored de Vials, and he's not willing to honor him. Now, 146 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,880 Speaker 1: you don't really have a real marriage. You have something, 147 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:44,599 Speaker 1: but he's not married to you. You're just married to him. 148 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:47,360 Speaker 1: Not a cold part about this, dude, is he didn't 149 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 1: ask you to have a threesome. And the reason he 150 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:54,800 Speaker 1: told you that because it would keep him from fantasizing 151 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:59,680 Speaker 1: about other women and having the urge to cheat. What 152 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,559 Speaker 1: so you think if you bring another woman in the 153 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 1: bedroom and will stop you from fantasizing about him and 154 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:09,400 Speaker 1: it to cause you not to want to cheat, when 155 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:13,080 Speaker 1: the whole time you in that living out of fantasy 156 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:22,880 Speaker 1: and cheating and your wife watching. Boy bye, I mean 157 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,679 Speaker 1: for real, are you serious? So what this man has done, 158 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:30,120 Speaker 1: he's pulled to Donald Trump on you. He has flipped 159 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:37,120 Speaker 1: the narrative. He actually got you thinking that it's because 160 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,080 Speaker 1: of you that he's having to fantasize and cheat. And 161 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:43,640 Speaker 1: if you wanted to stop, you would bring in a 162 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:47,720 Speaker 1: third party. Then you would have your husband not cheating 163 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,559 Speaker 1: and fantasizing. But the whole time he played living out 164 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:52,720 Speaker 1: of fantasy and he's cheating right in front of you 165 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:59,080 Speaker 1: with your permission. Lady, you're not that stupid, you can't be. 166 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:04,360 Speaker 1: And then he keeps talking about you should obey him 167 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:10,120 Speaker 1: the way you obey the Lord. What boy, you ain't 168 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:15,880 Speaker 1: the Lord, you ain't even close. Here's the problem with 169 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:19,200 Speaker 1: the bringing the woman into the marriage that's already in trouble. 170 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 1: I'm listening. How do you fix what's wrong with another wrong? 171 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:30,320 Speaker 1: He's not trying to fix his marriage. He's trying to 172 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:34,560 Speaker 1: get all his urges and fantasies fulfilled. And they don't 173 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:39,440 Speaker 1: include you. They include other women. I can't believe you 174 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:43,240 Speaker 1: entertaining this. I can't believe you still manage it. Why 175 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:46,600 Speaker 1: are you married to him? It's only be y'all only 176 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:50,480 Speaker 1: got twenty years invested. My question is, why don't you 177 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 1: leave so you can stop this misery you in And 178 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:58,920 Speaker 1: do you want twenty more years of this? Because that's 179 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:02,640 Speaker 1: all he trying to do. He needs to be married 180 00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:05,800 Speaker 1: to a striple. Yeah, you go down there and just 181 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,640 Speaker 1: get one of them girls down off their pole that 182 00:11:08,679 --> 00:11:12,319 Speaker 1: he don't mind doing this way, and then that look man, 183 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:15,800 Speaker 1: that work with you, right, they will work with you. 184 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:20,079 Speaker 1: This is so sad, and I want to apologize for 185 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:24,840 Speaker 1: my dam Thank you. I'm so sold. But meanwhile, around 186 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:29,240 Speaker 1: this country, I'm just telling me, they're blowing their horn 187 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:31,719 Speaker 1: up on this with him calling now, a lot of 188 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:33,320 Speaker 1: them can't say it at the house. But a bunch 189 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,600 Speaker 1: of them in their car right now. You know what 190 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:38,360 Speaker 1: they're doing. Why are they blowing their horn? They're blowing 191 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:41,600 Speaker 1: their horn because I see it. If you are a brother, 192 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,079 Speaker 1: that's a man is riding around right now, you would 193 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:48,240 Speaker 1: like to have a threesome at the high blow your horn. 194 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:51,720 Speaker 1: That's all I said. And they are blowing. That is 195 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:56,080 Speaker 1: so crazy. Get your life, get some Lord in your life. 196 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,880 Speaker 1: All we'll see. We gotta get out of here. Um. 197 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:05,440 Speaker 1: You can email us or instagram at your thoughts on 198 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:09,040 Speaker 1: today's Strawberry Letter. Two minutes. Okay, good, I didn't know. 199 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 1: All right, Well, you can say Morris Steve if you 200 00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:18,080 Speaker 1: want no. Okay, so so let me just ask you. 201 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:21,520 Speaker 1: So this man of maid, you ain't never had that 202 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:25,840 Speaker 1: thought again before marriage, before Mary, you ain't never had that. Yeah, 203 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:30,280 Speaker 1: he's told us his experience, though Tommy, he didn't know 204 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:35,439 Speaker 1: what he was doing. The most confusing thing, what happens 205 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,800 Speaker 1: most of damn confusing things. I didn't know how to 206 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:42,240 Speaker 1: do it. I needed some instruction. I need a manual. 207 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:46,680 Speaker 1: When I was in there, okay, we've been kissing for 208 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:50,080 Speaker 1: five seconds. I'm gonna kiss half of five. I was 209 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,560 Speaker 1: back and so I was. I was so tired of 210 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:57,920 Speaker 1: turning over in that bed. You're exhausted stories ever to 211 00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:02,160 Speaker 1: sing from side to side. I was was exhausted and commit. 212 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:07,679 Speaker 1: I don't even like one of them tapping me. I'll 213 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:12,560 Speaker 1: hold on. But let me ask you this day before, 214 00:13:12,679 --> 00:13:14,959 Speaker 1: did you think this was like the greatest thing? Oh 215 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 1: you could dog? I thought this was it the pinnacle 216 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:27,920 Speaker 1: you had reached, and then you got there. Lord alright, stee, 217 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:30,520 Speaker 1: we gotta go email us or Instagram. That's your thoughts 218 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:35,079 Speaker 1: on today's Strawberry letter at Steve Harvey dot com and uh, 219 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:38,160 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey f them and at my girl Shirley. You're 220 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,640 Speaker 1: listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show