Speaker 1: I'm Tamika D.
Speaker 2: Mallory and it's your boy my son in general.
Speaker 1: We are your host of t M I.
Speaker 2: Tamika and my Son's Information, Truth, Motivation and inspiration.
Speaker 1: Name New Energy. What's up, my son.
Speaker 2: I'm blessed. They got a heat wave like heat.
Speaker 1: Waves been before. They said it was a.
Speaker 2: Heat but it was a heat wave.
Speaker 3: I'm telling you, man, I have been traveling from state
Speaker 3: to state and it is extremely hot, extremely hot. Out
Speaker 3: of the country. The sun is peeling your skin.
Speaker 1: In the country, the heat.
Speaker 2: Is on Hell. The heat is on Hell.
Speaker 1: It's hot. It's hot for sure.
Speaker 3: And hopefully folks who are out there are taking care
Speaker 3: of themselves and staying hydrated. You know, I've made this
Speaker 3: commitment to drinking lots more water in a day, and
Speaker 3: I see a difference.
Speaker 1: I feel different. Certainly, is very.
Speaker 3: A whole fleet wherever you are, folks who are listening
Speaker 3: in that you're taking care of yourself, eating your fruits
Speaker 3: and vegetables, drinking your water, and staying in cool places.
Speaker 3: And you know, I was watching the other day a
Speaker 3: young couple had a baby out and the baby was
Speaker 3: in the stroller and they were pushing the baby and
Speaker 3: the sun beaming down, and it was a brand new baby,
Speaker 3: maybe two months, and I was stinking to myself, wow,
Speaker 3: I wish that we weren't living in a time where
Speaker 3: as a woman by myself, I can't say because if
Speaker 3: you'd been there, you had been there, or anybody else,
Speaker 3: even another female, I'd have been like, sweetheart, you know,
Speaker 3: please put something over that baby. But me by myself
Speaker 3: and this couple, who knows they might go crazy on
Speaker 3: me and start trying to fight me. So I'm like,
Speaker 3: I don't want to be, you know, intrusive. But what
Speaker 3: I did do is I kept looking. And as I
Speaker 3: continue to look and look and look for a few moments,
Speaker 3: it was like, oh, you know, they realized, or she did,
Speaker 3: because she was looking at me kind of like why
Speaker 3: you know, maybe it's a cute baby, but I was
Speaker 3: looking out of concern.
Speaker 1: And mothers kind of know.
Speaker 3: It's like if you out with your kid and your
Speaker 3: kid is like being bad and you see another mother
Speaker 3: just looking with that look, you'd be like, let me get.
Speaker 1: My ance on me and sit at you know, let
Speaker 1: me show you that I con.
Speaker 3: So she covered the baby, and I want to say
Speaker 3: that babies can't tell you they cold. They can't tell
Speaker 3: you they're hot. They can't say anything. So we have
Speaker 3: to be overly mindful in these conditions.
Speaker 1: Not always, not always, not always.
Speaker 3: I argue with my granddaughter, my granddaughter's parents all the
Speaker 3: time about needing her need in a sweater.
Speaker 1: They don't. It's a different thing.
Speaker 3: They like you bugging because I'm extra So you know,
Speaker 3: I come from the generation that you would have a
Speaker 3: snowsuit on in the fifty degree weather. Jenna's was laughing.
Speaker 3: That's the generation I came from. You would you will
Speaker 3: have a snow snow suit on in the fifty degree
Speaker 3: weather because they would be saying it's too cold.
Speaker 1: You're gonna wear a scarf, You damn sure.
Speaker 3: We're gonna have a hat on your head until it's
Speaker 3: about sixty degrees, no doubt. That's how I was raised.
Speaker 3: So when I see them, they just be hanging about
Speaker 3: and just chilling. But my granddaughter is so whoa she
Speaker 3: just she's busy and doing She ain't got time to
Speaker 3: be cold, noneless. Nonetheless, I'm always saying that. So I'm
Speaker 3: just saying it's a point of reference as we each
Speaker 3: one teach one. Please during this time, make sure that
Speaker 3: you are being extra mindful of the babies. Like I
Speaker 3: see people putting like little not ice, but you know
Speaker 3: they'll wrap up something cold and put it on the
Speaker 3: baby's neck so that they don't get dehydrated. Because people
Speaker 3: be in the hospital with their babies, babies screaming all
Speaker 3: night long and they and a part of it is,
Speaker 3: you know, milk, sitting out too long, and heat. It's
Speaker 3: so many things that's probably just shouldn't be having kids
Speaker 3: when you're young, because the.
Speaker 2: Job is but that's when you're supposed to do.
Speaker 3: Actually, now when you're now, when you're nineteen and twenty
Speaker 3: years old, most need to be about twenty.
Speaker 2: Five, but think about twenty five, but we.
Speaker 1: And that's early thirty. Really, I guess I know the Bible,
Speaker 1: I have.
Speaker 2: A conversation with fertility and all these things. So maybe
Speaker 2: we should ask.
Speaker 3: That no, no, the body your best physical time to
Speaker 3: have children. I think it's even before you eighteen years old,
Speaker 3: exactly like your body, because I'm talking about your your mentality.
Speaker 3: It is a lot of stuff to do. Like now
Speaker 3: that I see my granddaughter and her parents, that's a
Speaker 3: whole new shit. I'm telling We talk about this all
Speaker 3: the time. Looking at how Nassan is so involved with
Speaker 3: you know, how he deals with his son and them
Speaker 3: as good great parents.
Speaker 1: For Kassan, this is a new generation.
Speaker 3: When we was younger, at twenty four to twenty five
Speaker 3: years old, I don't know what was happening.
Speaker 1: If it wasn't for my parents.
Speaker 2: I just why I was in jail so.
Speaker 1: So death define.
Speaker 3: It gets back to the point of why at twenty
Speaker 3: years old we do not need to be having children.
Speaker 1: And you get to be about twenty five to twenty six,
Speaker 1: you can do it.
Speaker 3: But it's still very, very very hard. The opportune time,
Speaker 3: even though it's not physically, the right time is about thirty,
Speaker 3: but then that's when you deep in your career.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Well, anyway, we're getting ready to talk about, like you said,
Speaker 3: fertility and all of that, and now the it's shit
Speaker 3: from late and ruin. So let me tell you my
Speaker 3: thought of the day. You know, we've been supporting Congressman
Speaker 3: Jamal Bowman. Hopefully at the point that you all see
Speaker 3: this interview, he has won his primary as the congressman,
Speaker 3: the continued congressman of District sixteen in the Bronx. And
Speaker 3: this is not really so much about Congressman Bowman. But
Speaker 3: one of the greatest challenges that we faced as we
Speaker 3: stood with this brother and will continue to in all
Speaker 3: of his endeavors, is this idea that there are people
Speaker 3: who really believe in their hearts and mind that Vladimir,
Speaker 3: which is a man who ran against him a seventy plus.
Speaker 3: I think he's seventy one, but he's seventy plus. You're
Speaker 3: old white man who was the county executive in Westchester.
Speaker 3: So there are people who know him, pastors and other
Speaker 3: things that he's done in the community.
Speaker 1: People know him, right.
Speaker 3: They thought that he was better than Jamal to be
Speaker 3: a congressman. Now I'm not even here to talk about
Speaker 3: the difference because again, hopefully at this point we beat
Speaker 3: him and that's the end of the story. But it's
Speaker 3: possible that at the point at this point next week,
Speaker 3: we haven't. So I don't know that that thing. But
Speaker 3: here's something I do know about the how we as humans.
Speaker 3: And I say we because all of us have some
Speaker 3: part of this hypocritical nature. We just we are hypocritical
Speaker 3: and conflicted beings just in our makeup. Because we could
Speaker 3: sit and say we don't want to see you know,
Speaker 3: violence in our community and then watch all the BMF
Speaker 3: and power possible and love it. We can say we
Speaker 3: don't like sexual promiscuity and then be outside so my
Speaker 3: giddy sex seeet. So this is just the nature of humans,
Speaker 3: like it's it's and I don't even know. Maybe the
Speaker 3: word hypocritical feels hard, so I will say we're conflicted individuals.
Speaker 3: But here's what scares me. Some of the same people
Speaker 3: who support Vladimir the seventy one year old white man
Speaker 3: are the same folks who are anti Trump. The same
Speaker 3: people who are saying we need a Congress in place
Speaker 3: that will block the Republicans, God forbid Trump becomes president.
Speaker 3: That won't work across the out too much to our
Speaker 3: detriment with people like the Marjorie Tail of Greens, who
Speaker 3: are completely crazy and will always compromise everything that we're
Speaker 3: trying to get done that has to do with our wellbeing. Right,
Speaker 3: they would say, we don't need to have these older
Speaker 3: people going into Congress at this point in their lives,
Speaker 3: because we need to have younger, fresh people. Like we
Speaker 3: saw what happened with Ruth Bada Ginsburg same people. She
Speaker 3: was older, she probably should have retired while Obama was president,
Speaker 3: which meant that he would have been able to appoint
Speaker 3: someone in her position on the Supreme Court and we
Speaker 3: would not have lost that seat.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 1: These are the same people who have this logic. They
Speaker 1: don't want Trump.
Speaker 3: They don't want people who are in Congress that are
Speaker 3: sort of aging out, which gives other that makes them
Speaker 3: vulnerable for people to run against them.
Speaker 1: I mean, they don't want people who will do too
Speaker 1: much compromise.
Speaker 3: And that look like they're too much in the middle
Speaker 3: of the hole. They want them to be strong on
Speaker 3: our issues. This is what they say out their mouths.
Speaker 3: And then they decide that it is better to send
Speaker 3: someone who is in the retirement age of his life
Speaker 3: right to Congress over a younger man, a younger black
Speaker 3: man who is an educator, by the way, that they
Speaker 3: could get into Congress, and he has at least twenty
Speaker 3: five to thirty years of still being young, still being
Speaker 3: on the issues. He's already showing that he is a
Speaker 3: very progressive and has a liberal mindset and is exactly
Speaker 3: what you need when you got a Marjorie Taylor green
Speaker 3: Maga mentality in Congress, you need a squad mentality also
Speaker 3: to help combat that.
Speaker 1: Now, I'm not saying if you had a.
Speaker 3: Situation where these people were just running at the same time, right,
Speaker 3: they just knew people running for office, and you decide,
Speaker 3: we know the county executive, we respect him, we respect
Speaker 3: some of the things that he's done. We're going to
Speaker 3: look at him because we know him better than we
Speaker 3: know Congressman Jamal Bowman. Jamal Bowman is the incumbent, he
Speaker 3: is the current congressman. So you're saying you would rather
Speaker 3: send him home a young man, a young black man
Speaker 3: who has years and years and years before him that
Speaker 3: he can be there to make good in Congress.
Speaker 1: So you could put a seventy one year old white
Speaker 1: man who is taking money from the very people.
Speaker 5: You say you don't want, the same people funding Trump,
Speaker 5: the same people who are funding a genocide or at
Speaker 5: least fighting like hell to ensure that the people of
Speaker 5: Palestine are wiped out.
Speaker 1: They okay with that as far as I can see.
Speaker 1: That's how I feel. Right.
Speaker 3: These people are giving him money, the same GOP donors
Speaker 3: that are funding Trump.
Speaker 1: And funding the campaigns.
Speaker 3: Against How the hell you out here marching speaking against
Speaker 3: the discontinuance or the destruction of DEI and then you
Speaker 3: want to support a candidate that's taking money from the
Speaker 3: people who are funding the campaign against DEI.
Speaker 1: It's not making sense to me.
Speaker 2: None of it makes sense. And we always will vote
Speaker 2: against our best interest, right, And that's one of the
Speaker 2: major things that I've been saying lately that how did
Speaker 2: they trick us into believing that people and the very
Speaker 2: people that we say we against are better for us?
Speaker 2: Like this is this ship is like you just said,
Speaker 2: it's really mind but it's mind blowing to me. Like
Speaker 2: every time I look at these situations and we vote
Speaker 2: against we vote against our ultimate best interests.
Speaker 3: Well, no, we don't vote against our best interests. You see,
Speaker 3: this is the problem. We most of the time don't
Speaker 3: vote at all, not not not all of us.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that, not all of us, No, I'm not.
Speaker 3: I want to make it very clear this is the
Speaker 3: issue because I don't want there to be a gray area.
Speaker 1: The issue is.
Speaker 3: Too many of us don't vote at all at these
Speaker 3: times when we need to be.
Speaker 1: But it is an interest, it's our personal win.
Speaker 3: Y And that's the problem, not that it's not our aer,
Speaker 3: our best interest, our elect exactly.
Speaker 2: Then that's what it is. And if you're talking about
Speaker 2: the collective, were talking about what's going on in our communities,
Speaker 2: communities of color, where we we are experiencing the brunt
Speaker 2: of all of the legislation, past the fucking judges that
Speaker 2: they putting into all like we are experiencing it firsthand.
Speaker 2: If we're voting against the things that are going to
Speaker 2: change those against the people who are intentional about saying, now,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna make sure these communities have the proper school
Speaker 2: and they have the funding for the programs needed in
Speaker 2: the communities. I'm gonna make sure that the elderly are good.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna make sure the health insurance is good in
Speaker 2: these communities. If we're voting against those people because somebody's
Speaker 2: gonna give my my program a couple of dollars, right,
Speaker 2: somebody's gonna fund my my personal thing a couple of dolls,
Speaker 2: somebody's gonna make sure that my business keeps running or
Speaker 2: the corporations that I have one, then we are fighting
Speaker 2: and losing battle. And that's what's happening. And that's that's
Speaker 2: when you look at these organizations that are funding the
Speaker 2: people running against Jamo Bowman. They are focusing on a
Speaker 2: personal in of the people, like okay, you want some
Speaker 2: funded for this, Okay, We're gonna make sure y'all get.
Speaker 1: This, you know.
Speaker 3: And I think that there are some people who really
Speaker 3: have rationalized this, like they really believe that they're doing
Speaker 3: the right thing somehow because of whatever. And I I
Speaker 3: really it made me go even harder because I'm like,
Speaker 3: I know that there is no common sense to this
Speaker 3: right here, right, And as pissed off as I have
Speaker 3: been with Hakim Jeffries, who I love dearly as a brother,
Speaker 3: but I am so upset with how he has just
Speaker 3: like it's like Israel just completely owns him, right. Just
Speaker 3: hurt my heart to see this, even he endorsed Jamal Bowman,
Speaker 3: it don't make sense to me of incumbent. You don't
Speaker 3: people incumbents are incumbents for a reason.
Speaker 1: And let me tell you to speak to your point
Speaker 1: about or to speak to the point about the middle.
Speaker 3: Of the line, like how you get these older especially
Speaker 3: democrats in there, and they're more like, you know, want
Speaker 3: to try to work with everybody and all of that.
Speaker 3: The man said it to Jamal where he damn near
Speaker 3: called him an angry black man. He said, you can't
Speaker 3: just stand around yelling at people on the stage. You
Speaker 3: got to figure out how to work with them. The
Speaker 3: only times I've ever seen Jamaal Bowman yelling at people
Speaker 3: was when some shit was going down that you need
Speaker 3: to be yelling.
Speaker 1: It was that crazy.
Speaker 2: They don't want the energy. The reality of the situation
Speaker 2: is as we get older, we just get more said
Speaker 2: on our ways. We less on conflict, right, we like
Speaker 2: the lion that's going to just the reality some of
Speaker 2: us are. You have some elder who still have that
Speaker 2: fight in them, but then some are just beat up, right,
Speaker 2: some just say, you know what, I want to figure
Speaker 2: out how to work with you, even though even though
Speaker 2: I realized that the compromises not in the best interest
Speaker 2: of us all the way, right, And then you have
Speaker 2: young lines like Jamal Bowen, it's like, nah, there's certain
Speaker 2: things on conference a stop. They gotta be somebody. It's like, no,
Speaker 2: this ship is a full stop, right, and that's what
Speaker 2: we need in leadership, Like that's what leadership is supposed
Speaker 2: to look like for us. And you know, unfortunately there
Speaker 2: are so many people who don't want conflict. They want
Speaker 2: they want to say you got to be able to
Speaker 2: do it this way, don't they They want the least
Speaker 2: you know, they want the least amount of resistance, and
Speaker 2: that's where we are. And unfortunately, you know, we have
Speaker 2: we we we we sat on two sides, especially in
Speaker 2: our political parties. Is that there are likely you say,
Speaker 2: the moderates, and then you don't those they want to
Speaker 2: call radical. But I don't think. I don't think accent
Speaker 2: for people to stop killing innocent human beings is radical.
Speaker 2: I don't think saying hey, don't fund, don't send money
Speaker 2: that taxpayers from America, you know, are paying to fund
Speaker 2: killing innocent people, and not fund the school systems, and
Speaker 2: not for fund our own health. Don't tell us you
Speaker 2: don't have insurance for elderly that they're dying at higher rates,
Speaker 2: but you have money to continue to send to fun wards.
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't think anything is.
Speaker 1: Radical that's not radical.
Speaker 3: And in fact, one of the critiques that I've seen
Speaker 3: online from people against Tama Bowman is oh, well, he
Speaker 3: voted for this or he voted against.
Speaker 1: This, and that.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Sometimes he's actually been one of those people that knows
Speaker 3: how to compromise. He's not a he's an actual, a
Speaker 3: smart elected official with a smart man, just stop it.
Speaker 2: Shout out to Jamaal Bowman, we love you man, and
Speaker 2: that brings you to my music spotlight. Today. I found
Speaker 2: this young artist in the song Touched Me. His name
Speaker 2: is ce five C five five. He's a young artist
Speaker 2: and he's from Oakland, and it was a song called
Speaker 2: letter to My Son. You know, he had a son
Speaker 2: in his arms, and it was since it's you know,
Speaker 2: in the spirit of the Father's Day. We just passed
Speaker 2: Father's Day. I just wanted to give him a shout out.
Speaker 2: A lot of his music, it's very touching, it has
Speaker 2: a message. He's one of those artists who's building his
Speaker 2: following organically and it's based off just good music. Man.
Speaker 2: So shout out to C five five. Let us keep
Speaker 2: doing what you do. Let it to my son is dope.
Speaker 3: All right, Well, let's get into our guest. Good conversation,
Speaker 3: lots to learn. Check it out. Our friends have.
Speaker 1: Joined us again too.
Speaker 4: Well.
Speaker 3: First of all, our sister Keisha, how ya, Coach Jesse
Speaker 3: has been with us a number of times, and so
Speaker 3: it's really good to have y'all on our show because
Speaker 3: y'all been doing everybody else this show to talk about,
Speaker 3: you know, what has recently took what recently took place
Speaker 3: as a family that I think is incredible, beautiful, amazing,
Speaker 3: And I see Keisha loa Keisha. That's how it has
Speaker 3: already just you know, helped you to walk into your advocacy,
Speaker 3: which I knew was going to happen for you at
Speaker 3: some point, and it's beautiful to watch that now.
Speaker 1: So first of all, let me just introduce you all properly.
Speaker 3: Lakeisha Randolph is now a black She is the leader
Speaker 3: of the Black Fertility Matters community.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's get that straight.
Speaker 3: So I feel an organization on the way, something big
Speaker 3: buildings and a lot of things I can see.
Speaker 1: In the future.
Speaker 3: And she Keisha has had to have IVF has also
Speaker 3: now an egg a donor.
Speaker 1: You are have received eggs.
Speaker 3: So I know Coach Jesse's gonna get all of this
Speaker 3: language clearness when we all learn.
Speaker 4: I'm learning, I'm learning.
Speaker 1: All the things.
Speaker 3: And then Coach Jesse health activists and founder of the
Speaker 3: Detox Now but she's also our big sister that keeps
Speaker 3: us healthy, keeps us mentally stable. And we don't listen
Speaker 3: like we should, but we appreciate you, Coach.
Speaker 1: Jesse, love you principal.
Speaker 3: Thank y'all so much for joining the show today, and
Speaker 3: I think it would be great for us to hear
Speaker 3: from you, Keisha about that story, what took place and
Speaker 3: how all these other incredible women got involved.
Speaker 4: Well, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 6: Yes, I am Lakeisha Laurel or Latisha Randolph or Keisha.
Speaker 6: I am the founder of a support group called Black
Speaker 6: Fertility Matters. I wanted to start the support group for
Speaker 6: women who have been on the road and who have
Speaker 6: been dealing with infertility for as long as I have.
Speaker 6: I've been dealing with infertility for over twenty five years.
Speaker 6: I've had two feiled IVF cycles. I'm currently on the
Speaker 6: show Love and Hip Hop Atlanta season eleven, about to
Speaker 6: be season twelve, telling my story alongside of my sister
Speaker 6: Yandy Smith, whom volunteer to donate her eggs to me.
Speaker 6: So I am the I am the receiver, she is
Speaker 6: the donor. Yandy Smith is the donor. I am receiving
Speaker 6: her eggs to conceive have my own child. So we're
Speaker 6: on our journey to motherhood. I wanted to provide a
Speaker 6: support group for women who may feel ashamed, guilty, depressed, anxiety,
Speaker 6: who go through an emotional roller coaster dealing with IDA
Speaker 6: and infertility soul. This is where my sister, alongside with
Speaker 6: my sister Yandy Smith, introduced me to Coach Jefse who
Speaker 6: is a health and wellness coach. I've also detoked with
Speaker 6: her many years ago. And Coach Jesse introduced me and
Speaker 6: Yandy who to our fertilities doctor, which is doctor Daniel Layne.
Speaker 6: Unfortunately she had to go, but she is an amazing
Speaker 6: fertility that have been working with me and Yandy on
Speaker 6: our journey or my journey to motherhood.
Speaker 4: So that's a little bit about our story.
Speaker 6: We wanted to and Coach Jesse and doctor Lane wanted
Speaker 6: to also join the Black Fertility Matter to help educate,
Speaker 6: support and provide resources for the black and brown community.
Speaker 6: I just felt like I wanted to continue to tell
Speaker 6: my story.
Speaker 4: I didn't know where to start.
Speaker 6: I reached out to LaToya Bond, Yandy Smith, Coach Jesse,
Speaker 6: doctor Lane and said, listen, I need to tell my
Speaker 6: story because it's not only gonna help me. It was
Speaker 6: a time where I couldn't even talk this much about
Speaker 6: my process what's happening without me crying. So now for
Speaker 6: me to be able to stand up here and say
Speaker 6: I'm providing a support room for myself and other women
Speaker 6: who are going down this journey.
Speaker 4: It's amazing. It's amazing.
Speaker 6: I just thank you guys for telling my story and
Speaker 6: having Coach Jesse, doctor Lane, and Yandy Smith joining the
Speaker 6: Black Fertility Matters team.
Speaker 2: Well that's powerful. Well how long have you been trying
Speaker 2: to conceive a child?
Speaker 6: So I've been literally trying to conceive a child for
Speaker 6: over twenty five years. I've been dealing with fibroids and demetriosis,
Speaker 6: and then I've went to a fertilitis who you know.
Speaker 6: My gyn said, Okay, you cannot conceive due to age.
Speaker 6: Once you're over forty, your egg count becomes low. And
Speaker 6: then because I have fibroids and in demetriosis makes my
Speaker 6: fertility even harder. So I've been dealing with infertility for
Speaker 6: over twenty five years and now I'm called that can
Speaker 6: conceive healthy embryos.
Speaker 3: Coach Jesse, you know our audience, our listeners, are no
Speaker 3: stranger to your story. But I think in the context
Speaker 3: of what Lakeisha has been dealing with, it would be
Speaker 3: great to be reminded of your story and how you
Speaker 3: got into this work and then if you could give
Speaker 3: us some insight on and you know, what was the process,
Speaker 3: what was your planning process to support Lakeisha?
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know first of all, Lakesha she read she
Speaker 4: just my heart went out to her when I learned
Speaker 4: her story, because I battled in fertility that was paused
Speaker 4: by five roids. I battled bibras for thirteen years and
Speaker 4: infratility pause was five. It's one news and that percipisode
Speaker 4: of what I call my million dollar baby journey, where
Speaker 4: I had five IVF cycles, the individual fertilization cycles that
Speaker 4: Keisha was mentioning, and the first one I had miscarriage.
Speaker 4: Three failed IVF cycles after that, and even after we
Speaker 4: did conceive more daughter, FIEF cycle had major rest certain situations.
Speaker 4: Whatever even told me actually because of the terminating my
Speaker 4: pregnancy at twenty one and twenty one weeks, because in
Speaker 4: the journey, I was either having fibriid survey or having
Speaker 4: IVF forstandards, because the fibrids kept coming and here they
Speaker 4: were more back and this literally threatened the life of
Speaker 4: my baby. Where they said that it was from my
Speaker 4: hostile environment. Won't you know when we're now, thank God,
Speaker 4: my journey even though my heart stopped, nothing would follow
Speaker 4: on queer day. I do have my medical babel when
Speaker 4: I you know, when I learned after my journey, my
Speaker 4: story when she went you know, it went viral after
Speaker 4: us a published foot follower. That's what actually connected me
Speaker 4: to the fact that this was actually something that we'll
Speaker 4: do on her. It was and telling my story is
Speaker 4: actual connected medication because who were she can be heard
Speaker 4: and walktually on Breakfast Club. And that is when they
Speaker 4: reached out to me and we started to to look
Speaker 4: at how we could support her.
Speaker 7: Number one, have her just loving up overall, that's number
Speaker 7: one because when I did, she was dealing with advanced
Speaker 7: by boiling already beny triosis, right, And so for me
Speaker 7: that that look looking at what you know and so
Speaker 7: always about what we can do, what's in your power
Speaker 7: to do it?
Speaker 4: And then you know, even then I was like, my
Speaker 4: my thoughts are how to bring out for us to
Speaker 4: think about parenthood outside of a box. And many times
Speaker 4: I remember teachers, you know, years long ago, you might
Speaker 4: have a loop of the pregnancy. You know, we're able
Speaker 4: to they do you know now Alice might think about
Speaker 4: the baby and for many years back and forth, but
Speaker 4: she wasn't.
Speaker 6: For many years, I wasn't right there motherhood. I needed
Speaker 6: my motherhood to look normal.
Speaker 1: But now I realized that's not normal for me.
Speaker 4: Everybody everybody's is different. And I'm so proud of you,
Speaker 4: not just doing looks work for yourself, but how you
Speaker 4: are doing it more to provide support for people were
Speaker 4: literally all over the world who are struggling with this,
Speaker 4: struggling with it in silence and in silence, right in
Speaker 4: isolation and in silence. So once she told me, I
Speaker 4: remember writer, and when you told me, he said, you
Speaker 4: were telling your story. I said, I'm here. Whatever, let's
Speaker 4: do this. We're going to do this together, because too
Speaker 4: many of us don't know about the access to support
Speaker 4: that you're available. We don't know about the resources. We
Speaker 4: don't know about the black fertility specialists. We don't know
Speaker 4: about all the things that are available to us and
Speaker 4: in our power to actually shape our family journeys.
Speaker 2: You know, I've known Keisha for a long time. She's
Speaker 2: always so happy, and you would not know that she
Speaker 2: was dealing with this journey. I mean, when I'm listening
Speaker 2: to you, it sounds like you was dealing with levels
Speaker 2: of trauma, stress.
Speaker 6: Trauma, depression, sadness, shame, not feeling adequate as a woman,
Speaker 6: that my body cannot produce what it was made to produce.
Speaker 2: A child.
Speaker 6: So all of these emotions I've been holding in for
Speaker 6: a very long time, right, So it now it's time
Speaker 6: for me to tell my story, heal my story, and
Speaker 6: heal other women. So yes, we needed to and it's
Speaker 6: very important for us to come on here and talk
Speaker 6: about IVF and what's happening now with IVF and this vote, because, uh,
Speaker 6: women like myself, we need IVF, we need we need
Speaker 6: in vitro and fertilization. Because for me, with this whole
Speaker 6: Alabama Supreme vote saying that a frozen embryo is a child,
Speaker 6: and uh, if you whoever destroys this embryos, you're destroying
Speaker 6: your liable murder death.
Speaker 4: It's murders.
Speaker 6: I mean, I personally don't believe that in embryos is
Speaker 6: a child yet, but to each his own. So it
Speaker 6: just takes away from your own individual beliefs and rights.
Speaker 6: If I want to have the right to freeze my
Speaker 6: embryos later, let me have the right, like they should
Speaker 6: not have that right to call.
Speaker 4: For women who are suffering what do you think like
Speaker 4: And it's a slow walk. It's a slow walk to
Speaker 4: actually taking away ibs for people. Right, So there are
Speaker 4: people literally I don't know if you have to hear
Speaker 4: of a condition called as aspermia. Right, I'm going to
Speaker 4: use the school's very very open lyrics option. So Tamika
Speaker 4: and my son, have you guys ever heard that that
Speaker 4: first of all, male fertility factor infertility actually plays the
Speaker 4: same has the same impact as female factor issues.
Speaker 8: Have you ever heard?
Speaker 2: I never really heard it. I mean, you hear about it,
Speaker 2: but it's not really something that's focused on because men
Speaker 2: we suffer in silence, like, man, ain't I say you
Speaker 2: know I can't make a baby?
Speaker 4: Right you?
Speaker 2: You've always assumed it's something else going on. You're not
Speaker 2: really even assuming that isn't because of you?
Speaker 4: Right? Right? That's that's important. And then guess what who's
Speaker 4: the face of infertility? Women? Right?
Speaker 2: Women?
Speaker 4: So then now let's go back to the fact that
Speaker 4: if you don't know that your husband or your partner
Speaker 4: is the problem, now you're dealing. You're not even getting
Speaker 4: access to the real solutions. So there's an example where
Speaker 4: a man can you know, be be able to satisfy
Speaker 4: you sexually with no issues, meaning you know, becomes no issue, right,
Speaker 4: and do you know there could be no sperm in
Speaker 4: that ejaculate. It's called as you sperm in. Now, a
Speaker 4: person who has that condition cannot conceive a perfirm idea.
Speaker 4: It's not possible because they have to go into and
Speaker 4: many times if there is sperm in the sack but
Speaker 4: not coming out through the penis what's happening now is
Speaker 4: they have to have a proceiper to remove the sperm.
Speaker 4: That first, we can never have ideas.
Speaker 2: Let me, let me just get this straight. There's some
Speaker 2: there's no fluid that comes out.
Speaker 4: Fluid, No, there's fluid comes out, but there's no sperm.
Speaker 2: But it just doesn't it doesn't contain sperm that.
Speaker 4: Can as correct.
Speaker 9: Yes, that is a that is a condition, and there
Speaker 9: are to That's just one sample, right, one example of
Speaker 9: a way that that person can never conside apart from
Speaker 9: IBO right.
Speaker 4: There, and then there are people who have many other issues. Again,
Speaker 4: I look at you know. IVF was a gift to
Speaker 4: me because there is a dominant kidney disease in my family. Okay,
Speaker 4: it is. It's it's called polycystic kidney disease, and fifty
Speaker 4: percent of every embryo this disease. But because we did IVF,
Speaker 4: we were able to test the embryos beforehand. All right,
Speaker 4: up to seventy five percent of people who have this
Speaker 4: condition end up on dialysis, and it killed so many
Speaker 4: people in my family. I was diagnosed with it. But
Speaker 4: thank god, because of detox living, I'm able to be
Speaker 4: a testimony that you know, my doctor's like what right?
Speaker 4: But I didn't want my child to have to deal
Speaker 4: with it.
Speaker 10: And because of IVF being able to test the embryo
Speaker 10: ahead of time, that condition will never be it will
Speaker 10: never be present in my line again, my daughter, it
Speaker 10: never has to worry about passing that dominant disease in
Speaker 10: our family.
Speaker 4: That is a gift. That is a gift, and you
Speaker 4: can't do that apart from mind yet.
Speaker 2: You know, first of all, I don't even understand why
Speaker 2: someone who doesn't deal with these situations, right, who can't
Speaker 2: even fathom the reality that couples and families go through
Speaker 2: with this situation and with these you know, diagnosis, would
Speaker 2: even want to have any input that would natively impact someone.
Speaker 2: I don't even understand that part.
Speaker 4: I think it's control. I think it has to do
Speaker 4: a population control.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I definitely believe that.
Speaker 2: But I want to ask you, Keisha, are you currently
Speaker 2: in a relationship.
Speaker 6: I am currently in a relationship, yes, as of five months,
Speaker 6: but try into the five month I was not in
Speaker 6: a relationship, and was it hard?
Speaker 2: Like was that situation? Did you did this play a
Speaker 2: factor in your mind in your relationships or did the
Speaker 2: fact that you weren't able to conceive cause any kind relationships? Well?
Speaker 6: Prior to me being in a relationship, I felt nervous
Speaker 6: to get into a relationship because I knew that the
Speaker 6: male would want to conceive a child and or with
Speaker 6: any mail I would be with, they would want to
Speaker 6: have a child with me, right, So, and I knew
Speaker 6: that that wasn't an option for me. So it was
Speaker 6: I was apprehensive of getting into a relationship. But now
Speaker 6: that I'm in a relationship and he knows what's happening
Speaker 6: with my body and infertility, and if now he wants
Speaker 6: me to use his sperm, right, but I've already went
Speaker 6: through the process of a process of going to a
Speaker 6: sperm donorm.
Speaker 1: But yes, so it goes both ways.
Speaker 6: Yeah, he wants me to use his sperm now, So
Speaker 6: that we can con see well at least have his
Speaker 6: demon or DNA, but I will I will still have
Speaker 6: to get an egg donor.
Speaker 3: Right, so his sperm would have to go into the
Speaker 3: eggs that you now have in storage and then you
Speaker 3: and then the egg would be put inside of you
Speaker 3: and you would be trying to conceive that.
Speaker 4: Way, that's absolutely what's happening.
Speaker 1: So so Coach Jesse.
Speaker 3: Talk about this stigma that if you can't conceive, you're
Speaker 3: doing something wrong, Like it's what you're eating, it's you know,
Speaker 3: your past life, who you slept with. You know, I
Speaker 3: know an old wives tell used to be when I
Speaker 3: was young. They would say, if you have too much
Speaker 3: sex when you're young, you're not gonna be able to
Speaker 3: have a baby when you get older. Like the things
Speaker 3: that we passed down, a lot of stories that are
Speaker 3: told to us to try to like keep us from
Speaker 3: being promiscuous or whatever. And so therefore people grow up
Speaker 3: again with the shame that Keisha spoke about not not
Speaker 3: being able to talk about what's happening because they think
Speaker 3: they did something wrong to cause this infertility issue on themselves.
Speaker 3: Can you talk a little bit about that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, there are so many things that are
Speaker 4: passed on generation wrong because of fear. Right, it's driven
Speaker 4: by fear that, like you said, we don't want our
Speaker 4: children to have to make pregnancy. We don't want them
Speaker 4: to end up what we say, you know, ruldening their lives,
Speaker 4: which is you know, neither here nor there. But the
Speaker 4: biggest issue is that, you know, I think what we
Speaker 4: have to do is reclaim number one our overall priority
Speaker 4: of our health, because we have to think about our
Speaker 4: health and opportunity together. I think that there has been
Speaker 4: so much demongering where it's like, oh my god, don't
Speaker 4: do this because you get pregnant, where women have done
Speaker 4: so much put them on birth control twelve years old,
Speaker 4: and it has affected their health negativity, okay, and then
Speaker 4: it has become an obstacle to their fertility down the road. Right,
Speaker 4: instead of saying, hey, you know what, we want you
Speaker 4: to health you so that one day down the road
Speaker 4: you want to have children, you're going to healthy in
Speaker 4: order to give yourself. So really is changing the paradigm
Speaker 4: that's necessary. And there's also such a need to actually
Speaker 4: make fertility conversations a healthy conversation, right that actually that
Speaker 4: being part of your overall life's plan and planning for
Speaker 4: it because right now there's so many women who they
Speaker 4: want to focus on, especially in our generation, they want
Speaker 4: to focus on their career. They want to focus on
Speaker 4: during the ball. But guess what their fertility is on
Speaker 4: the it's on, it's on the right, on the back brond.
Speaker 6: Doctor Lane would say, what if you're over, if you're
Speaker 6: up to up until what thirty two years old? Five
Speaker 6: thirty five, thirty two thirty five, think about having a
Speaker 6: child and if not, yeah, thirty two, start free free them,
Speaker 6: start freezing up, and then continue on with your your
Speaker 6: life as far as your careers, your job.
Speaker 4: Yes, what not that whole time, except of embryo being
Speaker 4: a light, which you know, I'm gonna put my dog
Speaker 4: out there in the hunt at embryo. How can an
Speaker 4: embryo be a life? If that's the truth, that every
Speaker 4: embryo that was implanting would grow okay, it doesn't grow automatically.
Speaker 4: If that is case, there would be no failed ivy
Speaker 4: outside because they would always grow right. But they don't
Speaker 4: always grow right because life doesn't happen the way I
Speaker 4: see it. Life doesn't grow until it doesn't happen until
Speaker 4: actually talked in the womb and it starts to actually grow.
Speaker 4: That's my first friend. I agree with you. So ed
Speaker 4: reason becomes a problem. Egg freedom becomes a problem if
Speaker 4: embryos are thought as you see I'm saying, because now
Speaker 4: after third, after a certain number of years, like I
Speaker 4: think at forty, they freeze your action and they freeze embryos.
Speaker 4: They don't even breeze eggs, right because they actually need
Speaker 4: you to fertilize them, gets firm and fertilized in order
Speaker 4: to breeze embryos. So it is the reason this is
Speaker 4: so for its because it is a.
Speaker 8: Slow block to totally controlling your fertility right, and and
Speaker 8: fatility specialists can only they they if they can't if
Speaker 8: they can't breeze the embryos, and all of these.
Speaker 4: These roadblocks are put up, it's gonna start shutting down
Speaker 4: our IBM centers, right, it shuts down idea finis So
Speaker 4: going back to your question, Snika, I hope I answered it,
Speaker 4: which was that there's a lot of fear mongering that
Speaker 4: has been put in our thought battery and the wind
Speaker 4: even raise and and not enough FULTI thinking about what
Speaker 4: needs to do to actually have healthy fertility, healthy libido, healthy,
Speaker 4: actual reproductive health period right, because there's been this whole
Speaker 4: idea of trying to control things, but now we realize, no,
Speaker 4: we need to have a positive view of our old
Speaker 4: all reproductive health, which includes happy periods. And we talked
Speaker 4: about that before, right, that they do having very very
Speaker 4: uh you know, positive perspective about our cycle and not
Speaker 4: you know, looking at them as monster that they're supposed
Speaker 4: to be that and we're supposed to suffer and in silence.
Speaker 2: And in Chaine, that was pretty much kind of thegister
Speaker 2: with the question I wanted to ask because there is
Speaker 2: a lot of fear mongering about you know, what causes
Speaker 2: infertility and all those things. I just want to know
Speaker 2: what are some of the things that do cause facility
Speaker 2: other than you know, being running your family, Like, what
Speaker 2: are some of the things that causes infertility, and what
Speaker 2: are some of the things that the healthy processes that
Speaker 2: you know need to be taken so that women can
Speaker 2: avoid infertility women and men exactly My apologies.
Speaker 6: Well, for me, my infertility was caused through fibroids and
Speaker 6: and demetriosis, and then age factored and once I became
Speaker 6: over forty, right, so and then coach Jesse would say,
Speaker 6: it's what dieting and environ lifestyle and life and lifestyles.
Speaker 6: And for me, honestly, I would even my mental I
Speaker 6: would say even abortion, streas or infertility and stress. Like coach, yes,
Speaker 6: you can add on, but those are the things for
Speaker 6: me that I feel caused my infertility.
Speaker 4: If you really want to be on it. Reproductive health
Speaker 4: issues obviously, such as vibrants because variance in drom on
Speaker 4: endemy feels it's.
Speaker 11: Our factors absolutely infertility, But we have to go back
Speaker 11: to what actually our root caused factors of those issues,
Speaker 11: such as you know, stress being one of their number one.
Speaker 4: Okay, then it is such a thing as actual hormonal imbalance,
Speaker 4: that is drivers of things like fibroids, drivers of prints
Speaker 4: like indim feels, et cetera hormonal balance where echidnes is
Speaker 4: too high in your body and project thrones too well.
Speaker 4: And that's affected by everything from the products that we
Speaker 4: rite shout out to patients creating non doxic you know,
Speaker 4: male polity. Everything from the makeuping to be, to the
Speaker 4: to the deodorant, to the toothpaste, to the food that
Speaker 4: all affect our home normal balance. Right, and then the
Speaker 4: one that's huge in the black community is viting. My deficiency.
Speaker 4: Vitamin deficiency is a huge factor when it comes to
Speaker 4: things like bibords and to be slosis because the number
Speaker 4: one normal that our body uses to fight Bible exactly
Speaker 4: divide in the demomal and because our melanin, as people
Speaker 4: of color, our melanin blocks the organ of the sun
Speaker 4: that the body uses for convert and create deeply hormone.
Speaker 4: Because it blocks it, we need to be supplementing. That's
Speaker 4: literally why you know we create our prevention at at
Speaker 4: the detox now because like you know, the top three
Speaker 4: things that people come are viting to the deficiency, hormoral balance,
Speaker 4: and chronic inflammation, right, and the third thing I was
Speaker 4: going to say was chronic. So when you look at
Speaker 4: those things being present, then they're things like age, like
Speaker 4: what you thought about, right. When it comes to women,
Speaker 4: men it's not really age for their parabodies create sperm
Speaker 4: all the time for year. That's why you meant a
Speaker 4: baby severally eighty years old. But women our eggs, all
Speaker 4: the eggs do ever that have we were born with
Speaker 4: them and at thirty five we plummet a number of eggs.
Speaker 4: Everything like the rustings right, and that after age, the
Speaker 4: age we need even more. But when it comes to
Speaker 4: the other factor is youneral age. And when it comes
Speaker 4: to men, it things like smoking. They are factors lifestyle factors,
Speaker 4: going back to the men, because men's the quality of
Speaker 4: the nerves, canot and carriages. It's connected with in control,
Speaker 4: all right, And that's everything smoking, from drinking to you know,
Speaker 4: hot tubs that posted about this week to be and
Speaker 4: hot tubs and jaques where it overheats the sperm to
Speaker 4: weed is a major attend at you know, on quality sperm.
Speaker 4: The lifestyle factors, these are things we have change.
Speaker 3: So based upon what you're saying, there are things we're
Speaker 3: doing wrong. To go to the original, it sounds like
Speaker 3: there's some things that we are doing to cause our
Speaker 3: infatility issues that.
Speaker 4: We didn't know that they were connected to. Yes, absolutely,
Speaker 4: but they were not. They were not. They were not
Speaker 4: they were not seen as Wait a minute, these are
Speaker 4: things that I can actually change in order to improve, right, right.
Speaker 3: So there are some things that can be genetic, some
Speaker 3: things that you know could be like they say, in
Speaker 3: your family.
Speaker 4: But well guess what's in your family? Lifestyle? Lifestyle life,
Speaker 4: same that.
Speaker 3: We have and all the things exactly, and we know
Speaker 3: fibrates and all that is certainly something that, based upon
Speaker 3: our life choices, can happen to absolute women from generation
Speaker 3: to generation, because I certainly know that in my family
Speaker 3: fibroids has been an issue for a long time. And
Speaker 3: as I mentioned to you before, when I was younger,
Speaker 3: I was in the cycle of bacterial vaginosis east infection,
Speaker 3: bacterial vaginosis east infection. Trying to figure out what was
Speaker 3: going on. I ended up going to a series of doctors,
Speaker 3: like to Columbia University. I mean, I became a study
Speaker 3: for I stopped having sex completely because you know, first
Speaker 3: of all, it was uncomfortable, and then also just trying
Speaker 3: to figure out what the issue was. And I went
Speaker 3: to a doctor who was not in my insurance plan,
Speaker 3: my own doctor. After all the work that she did,
Speaker 3: she was frustrated. She didn't know what else to do,
Speaker 3: especially again within my network, and so she sent me
Speaker 3: to a woman who.
Speaker 1: I had to pay cash. And I was like, lady,
Speaker 1: I don't care.
Speaker 3: It could be whatever my whole for the rest of
Speaker 3: my life, I could be paying you freedom not the solved,
Speaker 3: but this problem I wanted. And God rest her soul.
Speaker 3: This doctor met with me, uh, and it took her
Speaker 3: one day. She took blood work today and the next
Speaker 3: day she called me and said, like most of my
Speaker 3: black women clients, you have zero vitamin D.
Speaker 1: It wasn't in my system at all.
Speaker 4: You know, do you know how many things you could
Speaker 4: have been dead from cardio, so many issues because of
Speaker 4: vitamin D.
Speaker 1: And she put me on Vitamin D.
Speaker 3: Put me on, made sure I had some iron in
Speaker 3: my system as well, because I didn't have that as either.
Speaker 1: And I it was three days. Three days I began
Speaker 1: to feel better and then maybe in the next two to.
Speaker 3: Three weeks I was healed completely and I never ever
Speaker 3: had that problem of those current infections again in my life.
Speaker 1: It was all about vitamin D.
Speaker 4: Makes sense, But go back to you know, vitamin D
Speaker 4: is huge when it comes to your immunity, right and
Speaker 4: when it comes to your body's ability to fight off infection.
Speaker 4: So yeah, it is one of those states. Every black
Speaker 4: person should be taking D three, Every black person should
Speaker 4: be taken D. Every single black and brown person it'll
Speaker 4: be taking D three, okay, yes, and you and ask
Speaker 4: your doctor for what high normal your level should be.
Speaker 4: Don't let them tell you it's normal and it's more
Speaker 4: normal because as black and brown people, our bodies need
Speaker 4: more in order to overcome everything we're fighting. Just from
Speaker 4: the client information as the impact of basis of rebuild
Speaker 4: every day.
Speaker 3: I want to let you go, Coach Jesse, and also
Speaker 3: U Keisha, thank y'all so much for your patience with
Speaker 3: us today, for being with us, and for being committed
Speaker 3: to getting this information out to our listeners and everyone
Speaker 3: who needs to hear both Keisha's story and the way
Speaker 3: in which you, as a health and wellness expert, continue
Speaker 3: to focus on black women. Coach Jesse, I want people
Speaker 3: to know how they can find you, how they can
Speaker 3: get involved with your work. But I wanted to just
Speaker 3: leave with this point about my medical diagnosis during that time,
Speaker 3: and this has now been I'm forty four, so this
Speaker 3: has been about twenty years ago. I was about twenty
Speaker 3: five years old. What scares me is that I went
Speaker 3: to Columbia University. Doctor at Columbia, my own doctor sought
Speaker 3: after this doctor.
Speaker 1: People were lined up.
Speaker 3: You couldn't even get an appointment with her because she
Speaker 3: was actually a very good doctor.
Speaker 1: G Wyan.
Speaker 3: I went to all these places, other doctors looking online,
Speaker 3: calling aun tie them, trying to figure it out, and
Speaker 3: no one had the information about a simple thing like
Speaker 3: vitamin D. That's scary to me that I ad to
Speaker 3: the top those prestigious places all the way down to
Speaker 3: qual and t teeing them in the hood like yo,
Speaker 3: you ever had this issue like what's good? And everybody
Speaker 3: was telling me about Minusta was giving me. Minusta was
Speaker 3: making me feel like I was like I needed a fire.
Speaker 1: Hose on fire, terrrible. That did not help me at all.
Speaker 3: My issue was not coming from, like you said, from
Speaker 3: having you know, sex or whatever. My issue was coming
Speaker 3: from inside.
Speaker 1: But I mean, nobody knew what to tell me. So
Speaker 1: it's very scary.
Speaker 3: And I hope that now because of course we weren't
Speaker 3: in this big internet age and you know, things were
Speaker 3: a lot different. But I hope that now we're in
Speaker 3: a situation where black families, mother and father who have
Speaker 3: daughters and sons are not treating our health, our reproductive
Speaker 3: health as if it is a taboo conversation. We can
Speaker 3: actually say the things that need to be said to
Speaker 3: teach our kids about our boys about cleaning their penises properly,
Speaker 3: our girls about their health as well, because what that is,
Speaker 3: what in my judgment, has been so much of an issue.
Speaker 3: You can't bring it up. I don't remember, you know,
Speaker 3: you just can't bring it up. It's just Grandma is
Speaker 3: not able to travel about your VIJJ.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was very different day. But it's a different day.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: When my daughter had her cycle, we called all the
Speaker 4: family members on FaceTime one by one and said, hey,
Speaker 4: she got a pario because I was changing the paradigmage.
Speaker 4: I said, we're going to celebrate it at something that
Speaker 4: is a right. It happened that it says now that
Speaker 4: we need steeper in her life and we're going to
Speaker 4: delibrate it that she doesn't ever.
Speaker 1: Canlche Thank you, thank you, Keisha, Thank you so much.
Speaker 6: Drives for listening to our storytelling a story fighting against
Speaker 6: IVF and these Republicans who are going against IVF and
Speaker 6: what they believe and they should not have the right
Speaker 6: to women's body medications. Please continue to get the word
Speaker 6: out and continue to talk about IVF and infertility. If
Speaker 6: you guys for your guests, Black Fertility Matters Team every
Speaker 6: Thursday for on my IG Live that's at Lakeisha Laurel
Speaker 6: every a PM, we have a live discussion on infertility
Speaker 6: in the black and brown community. We're trying to spread
Speaker 6: the word and give resources and educate our community on
Speaker 6: what's out there, what's available, different votes that are going
Speaker 6: against iv You have different doctors that are here to
Speaker 6: educate and help us. Please you can reach me at
Speaker 6: Black Fertility Matters ww dot Blackfertilitymatters dot com or on
Speaker 6: ig it's ig Black Fertility Matters. Also at Lakisha Laurel
Speaker 6: on ig coach Jesse.
Speaker 4: And tell them where to find us. So, first of all,
Speaker 4: you know, we have to continue to spread the word
Speaker 4: and we have to advocate for and contact our legislators.
Speaker 4: So if I am Coach g E S s I
Speaker 4: E on Instagram and if we comment save IVF on
Speaker 4: any of my pots, you will receive a d M
Speaker 4: with the information on how to contact your legislator, what
Speaker 4: you can do, what's in your power. And then also
Speaker 4: if you look at the support on your continued journey,
Speaker 4: you know how we can help you control of that
Speaker 4: as well. Invite either take our free foods at rgepom
Speaker 4: dot com and so you can learn you know what
Speaker 4: you think within your team for Portfolia and to wabble up.
Speaker 4: What video was our very first off with the wall.
Speaker 2: Well, we want to thank you coach Jesse for always
Speaker 2: being the friends of the room and you know, and
Speaker 2: always bringing that information and informing us about things that
Speaker 2: we don't know about, because I'm very much informed now.
Speaker 2: And I just want to salute you Keisha for you know,
Speaker 2: knowing you for years and you being in the background
Speaker 2: and just you know, always having this spirit and now
Speaker 2: using your passion and using your experience to be an
Speaker 2: advocate and be on the front line. You know, it's
Speaker 2: beautiful and I just I commend you cry so prod
Speaker 2: you almost made me quiet because I'm looking at you
Speaker 2: and I'm like, Keisha is really.
Speaker 6: Taking you know, what's in my life, the pain of
Speaker 6: not being able to have a child, but to still
Speaker 6: have this face of everything's okay.
Speaker 4: Is it takes a toll on you, and it takes
Speaker 4: a toll on your heart.
Speaker 2: So you know, this is a process control of you
Speaker 2: taking control of your life. You take control of your narrative.
Speaker 2: And you are a face for so many women who
Speaker 2: are are sitting there and they're going through what you
Speaker 2: once went through. So your bravery and your ability to
Speaker 2: come forward is going to really change this world in
Speaker 2: the narrative around what this looks like. So we appreciate you.
Speaker 1: You will ear more than just your own.
Speaker 3: You will birth your own and you will birth an
Speaker 3: entire generation with the work that you're doing.
Speaker 1: So thank you so much. God bless y'all. We love
Speaker 1: y'all so much, and thank you, thank you, thank you,
Speaker 1: and thank you again.
Speaker 6: Thank you guy so very much.
Speaker 3: Well, listen, there's a lot to learn about that topic,
Speaker 3: you know. First of all, like you said, Keisha, she's
Speaker 3: so amazing. And I think the thing about Keisha is
Speaker 3: that for her for a long time, especially since Yandy
Speaker 3: has been a celebrity, she's been a support system and
Speaker 3: a backbone, you know, absolutely for the kids, for the family,
Speaker 3: for the businesses, for everything that Yandy has built. And
Speaker 3: I think that in and of itself is kind of
Speaker 3: like it's a lot of pressure when you're trying to
Speaker 3: help keep a family going because nobody, I don't know
Speaker 3: any celebrity that would say that they're in the position
Speaker 3: that they're in without the support of like a lot
Speaker 3: of people and a lot that goes into keeping them going. Yandy,
Speaker 3: you know, has a family and businesses, several businesses, and
Speaker 3: she's on TV. Takes her mother, her father, her sister
Speaker 3: and Keisha and others to be a part of that.
Speaker 3: And of course you know her husband and so I
Speaker 3: know what it is and understand from her perspective what
Speaker 3: it is to be a backbone play.
Speaker 1: To play that role.
Speaker 3: And then now having to come forward or deciding to
Speaker 3: come forward with something that has been impacting her as well,
Speaker 3: and for Yandy to step up and immediately say I'm
Speaker 3: willing to support you know, I'm going.
Speaker 1: To give you my eggs.
Speaker 3: That to me is big because now it's reciprocal. It's
Speaker 3: like something that I needed. You're there for me as well.
Speaker 3: So I think it's a beautiful story.
Speaker 2: Oh it's such a beautiful story. Man. Just knowing Keisha
Speaker 2: and knowing what she does behind the scenes important she
Speaker 2: is to Yandy and just the machine that she has
Speaker 2: there and to see her utilize her own personal experiences
Speaker 2: and her pain actually and change it into purpose.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 2: The way she is now is just it's actually motivational,
Speaker 2: you know, and it brings me to my I don't
Speaker 2: get it. You know, everyone should have autonomy over their
Speaker 2: own person, Like I just don't get why there are
Speaker 2: people who actually want to pass laws that would affect
Speaker 2: someone like Lakeisha right from being able to have a baby,
Speaker 2: from being able to, you know, have a family, to
Speaker 2: make the decision about the bodies and the eggs that
Speaker 2: they have, Like these things are very strange to me. Like,
Speaker 2: I think, if you don't want to abort your children,
Speaker 2: if you don't want to freeze your you know, your eggs,
Speaker 2: you don't want to freeze your embryos, you don't want
Speaker 2: to do those things, I think you have every right
Speaker 2: not to do those things. I just don't understand why
Speaker 2: we need legislation that prohibits someone who might need to
Speaker 2: do these things to do it. And it really, it
Speaker 2: really mind boggles me when you when you hear people
Speaker 2: talk like they should have the right to tell you
Speaker 2: what to do with your body. Like it's very strange
Speaker 2: to me. And it's very weird that we have so
Speaker 2: many people who have that mentality, right, and a lot
Speaker 2: of them are in positions of power and in government. Right,
Speaker 2: the fact that we actually the fact that we actually
Speaker 2: have to have this conversation that we have to fight
Speaker 2: for IVF, Like, what do you mean this is your
Speaker 2: personal body.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: That's like actually telling someone who you can have sex with, right,
Speaker 2: all of these things, because that's what it comes down to.
Speaker 2: At a certain point, they'll be able to tell you
Speaker 2: when and how you conceive a child, right, who you
Speaker 2: conceive a child with, what time you need to be
Speaker 2: all these things. Is just basically taking your own human
Speaker 2: autonomy from you, your own human rights from you. So
Speaker 2: it's very strange, man. I wish we'd get to a
Speaker 2: point in life where people start respecting people's personal space,
Speaker 2: people's personal opinions, people's personal choices. I would never be
Speaker 2: able to have a child, right, I would never know
Speaker 2: what that feeling is to carry to carry it, you
Speaker 2: have to literally carry and actually give birth physical birth
Speaker 2: to a child. You know. I don't know what that
Speaker 2: situation is. I don't know all those things that come
Speaker 2: with that. So I don't think there should ever be
Speaker 2: a time when I should be able to have a
Speaker 2: voice that could impact that for a woman, you know.
Speaker 2: And so it's just very strange to me.
Speaker 1: You know, well, I think that first of all, every
Speaker 1: all things lead to politics, everything, and the bottom line
Speaker 1: is that there is a segment of the population which
Speaker 1: is ultimately this.
Speaker 3: Is like Handmaide's Seal. If you haven't seen Handmaid's Sell,
Speaker 3: you should probably check it out, because really it's playing
Speaker 3: out because they are a segment. There's a segment of
Speaker 3: the population, which is basically white men, older white men
Speaker 3: who are concerned about the declining numbers of their race.
Speaker 1: That is what this is about.
Speaker 3: That the Latino population is fast as growing, that at
Speaker 3: some point this country will be more brown than white.
Speaker 3: And of course we as black people, they always been
Speaker 3: trying to stop us or find ways to cap our childbirth,
Speaker 3: the growth of our communities, and the dominance of our communities.
Speaker 3: And therefore, and on top of all the things that
Speaker 3: you see, right, they're passing these laws to try to
Speaker 3: impact women's rights, to choose the autonomy for our bodies.
Speaker 3: They're doing all of that, but they also are going
Speaker 3: into their churches, going into their places of worship, their organizations,
Speaker 3: and everywhere else, spreading a message of have more children
Speaker 3: to white women.
Speaker 1: Right, they want white women to have more children. They
Speaker 1: are trying.
Speaker 3: If you ever go out and just people watch, just
Speaker 3: people watch, you will see white women who have a
Speaker 3: baby walking a baby in nostrolla and they're pregnant.
Speaker 1: And that is not just something that's happening. It's not
Speaker 1: by happenstance. It is literally becoming baked into their cultural
Speaker 1: existence that their past. The message is we are declining.
Speaker 3: Our race is declining, especially as there's more integration of
Speaker 3: black people white people on others, the melting pot of
Speaker 3: people having children, getting married, their race is declining, and
Speaker 3: therefore they are.
Speaker 1: Attempting to find ways to one.
Speaker 3: Limit our ability to have children, to slow down the
Speaker 3: browning of America.
Speaker 1: Said that already.
Speaker 3: The other part of it, though, is that they are
Speaker 3: trying to stop their women from having abortions because white women,
Speaker 3: like every other woman, are very concerned about our careers,
Speaker 3: concerned about our finances, economics. We don't have the type
Speaker 3: of money most people that it takes to have multiple children.
Speaker 1: And so they're you know, so white people are.
Speaker 3: Facing the same thing, and they're saying, hey, listen, it's
Speaker 3: not the time for me to have a child. I'm
Speaker 3: going to law school, I'm climbing the corporate ladder, I'm
Speaker 3: doing you know, all these different things, and I'm not
Speaker 3: ready to have a child.
Speaker 1: And so with that being said, this is intentional, it's
Speaker 1: it's not.
Speaker 3: Happening because people just woke up one day and their
Speaker 3: beliefs are so strong. No, it's intentional, and it's coming
Speaker 3: all the way down from different perspectives. They change the courts,
Speaker 3: they have gutted Roe v. Wade, they have passed other
Speaker 3: legislation that makes it more difficult. I think it's the
Speaker 3: Dobbs decision. They have put things in place to from
Speaker 3: a layered perspective, prevent this country from changing to be
Speaker 3: more diverse. So that is what we see happening. And
Speaker 3: for people who are sitting around toying with the idea
Speaker 3: of electing Donald Trump to presidency or staying home, what
Speaker 3: you are ultimately saying. And you know, let me just
Speaker 3: tell you this. I have been as you know, we
Speaker 3: travel the country. I talk to black men all the time.
Speaker 3: I'll stop a black man in the corner store and
Speaker 3: get into conversations. And one of the things that I
Speaker 3: keep hearing, I see it online and I hear it,
Speaker 3: and I deeply hear it that black men are frustrated
Speaker 3: with this narrative that they hate black women and that
Speaker 3: there is so much of a divide, a division between.
Speaker 1: Us, and in fact, there are a lot of black people.
Speaker 3: You are one of them of a black man are
Speaker 3: who are very intentional about challenging that narrative and trying
Speaker 3: to figure out where is that coming from?
Speaker 1: Is it social media drama? Is it real? Is it
Speaker 1: happening in your households?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 3: Where exactly did this narrative that we are so divide
Speaker 3: it come from?
Speaker 1: And why does it continue to spread? Let me say this,
Speaker 1: if it.
Speaker 3: Is not a part of your political process, thought process,
Speaker 3: your political ideology, your political moves, to consider my bodily ationomy,
Speaker 3: my right to choose, my right to be able to
Speaker 3: get medicines like IVF drugs, birth control, and the things
Speaker 3: that I need to be healthy and also to be
Speaker 3: able to produce. If you make a decision in this
Speaker 3: election and elections two fourth that does not consider me
Speaker 3: as well and what we as women are experiencing, then
Speaker 3: who is helping to create the divide? Because that is
Speaker 3: something that we will be watching. I talk to so
Speaker 3: many of them, and I asked, what's your main concern?
Speaker 3: The man said, economics, period. He said that he doesn't
Speaker 3: care about policing, he doesn't care about women's choice, he
Speaker 3: doesn't care about any of that. And I asked him,
Speaker 3: as a black woman when I hear you say that
Speaker 3: you don't care one about criminal justice and policing, that
Speaker 3: scares me because now what I'm hearing you say is
Speaker 3: that it's okay for them to blow up our children,
Speaker 3: shoot them, put their knees in their necks, do all
Speaker 3: the things that they're doing.
Speaker 1: You talk.
Speaker 3: He didn't say that's the second or third issue. He said,
Speaker 3: it's not an issue for him at all. All he
Speaker 3: cares about is making money, which I still have not
Speaker 3: figured out where in the Republican platform you'll see the
Speaker 3: line items of how you're gonna make more money. I
Speaker 3: don't see that, but maybe other people do. And then
Speaker 3: I said, so now you don't care about that.
Speaker 1: That hurts me.
Speaker 3: That scares me because our young black boys and girls
Speaker 3: need the protection of a system that at least we
Speaker 3: can challenge it, at least there is a process. Okay,
Speaker 3: because Donald Trump is talking about he wants these people
Speaker 3: to be what's the word have immunity.
Speaker 1: They should be able to kill us and not be challenged.
Speaker 3: There should be no system for holding law enforcement accountable
Speaker 3: from his perspective, and him either, and him either. So
Speaker 3: that's one, But then we get down to something deeply
Speaker 3: personal and that's how I was made, how you were made.
Speaker 1: My body needs protection. As a woman. I have the
Speaker 1: sanctity of our community.
Speaker 3: Without me, we cannot continue to grow. So we die
Speaker 3: if we can't take care of our health, or if
Speaker 3: we can't say I'm not gonna have three babies when
Speaker 3: I'm young, because guess what, I don't hear these same
Speaker 3: men saying they gonna stop having sex if I can't
Speaker 3: get birth control pills to control the amount of times
Speaker 3: that I get pregnant. So some of this stuff that
Speaker 3: we're talking about, I get it. There's a frustration, but
Speaker 3: we're just throwing spaghetti at the wall, or trying to
Speaker 3: be andrey for the sake of it, pissed off with
Speaker 3: elected officials, to hell with Biden. There's all of these
Speaker 3: different things that we're feeling, and yet we're looking at
Speaker 3: a threat that's in front of us that is extremely dangerous.
Speaker 3: And I've not heard anybody give me clarity on what
Speaker 3: you wanna do when I can't get birth control pills,
Speaker 3: can't get IVF treatments, can't go to certain medical facilities,
Speaker 3: and they're talking about making it murder if I freeze
Speaker 3: my eggs, not just saying they thinking about it, they're
Speaker 3: passing laws in states right now to make that happen.
Speaker 2: Well, with that said, I mean, there's not much you
Speaker 2: can argue with that.
Speaker 7: Man.
Speaker 2: I think we as men have to understand that there
Speaker 2: is a real threat to women's existence.
Speaker 1: Right and so our existence.
Speaker 2: I mean, but when you talk, when you talk specifically
Speaker 2: about the IVF and abortion and reproductive rights, there's a specific,
Speaker 2: directly intention to stop women from reproducer and you, like
Speaker 2: you said, ultimately it's our existence.
Speaker 1: It's because women can't have a man or woman without
Speaker 1: a woman.
Speaker 2: So if we and if we're not intentional, if that's
Speaker 2: not on our top priorities, then we can't ask why
Speaker 2: they saying this divide. So with that said, I get it,
Speaker 2: you know, but I don't get why people think it
Speaker 2: makes sense for us to even have any saying it.
Speaker 2: So at the end of the day, you know where
Speaker 2: I stand. I'm always gonna stay with women. I'm always
Speaker 2: gonna stand for a women sometime. Anyway that brings us
Speaker 2: to the end of our show. We appreciate y'all. Shout
Speaker 2: out to coach Jesse, Shout out to La Keisha, you
Speaker 2: know for sharing it, sharing her testimony, coach Jesse for
Speaker 2: also educating us as she always does. Make sure you
Speaker 2: follow us at Tea and my Underscore show on Instagram.
Speaker 2: Dm us, let us know how you feel about the show.
Speaker 2: Give us some topics people you want to see, tell
Speaker 2: us you love us, tell us you hate us. We
Speaker 2: know you love us, and keep us the number one
Speaker 2: show in the world. Tm min is the number one
Speaker 2: show in the world. How we appreciate you and we
Speaker 2: love you. I'm not gonna always be right, Tamika d.
Speaker 2: Mallory's not gonna always be wrong, but we will both
Speaker 2: always and I mean always.
Speaker 1: We pay a yoni, that sour yone.
Speaker 2: That's soon.
Speaker 10: That's so.
Speaker 2: Check out the video version of TMO.
Speaker 1: Every single Wednesday on Iwoman dot TV.
Speaker 2: That's how we own it.
Speaker 4: Wo