Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, happy birthday to my day friend Day,
Speaker 1: tiff Day.
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, like the next time we say my birthday will
Speaker 2: actually be closer. What No, Oh, that's right, that's true.
Speaker 2: It'll be passed, but only by two days.
Speaker 1: I'm like, my mouth, I cannot be that incorrect.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, thank you. Either way, I'm gonna be turning
Speaker 2: none of your business. Like no, I'll be turning thirty eight,
Speaker 2: which all was so crazy coming out of my mouth.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I still fill twenty five.
Speaker 1: Thirty eight sounds great?
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, because I mean I'm excited because Superman was like,
Speaker 2: you're not allowed to do any work. He told me
Speaker 2: weeks in advance, where months and advance, like take that
Speaker 2: whole weekend off. And he's been like like leaving the
Speaker 2: house on secret John with like his sister and his
Speaker 2: best friend, and like asking me all these cryptic questions
Speaker 2: about like what shoe sides do I wear? I'm like, lord,
Speaker 2: what does he doing?
Speaker 1: Shoe size? I don't know, Oh, roller skating, let's have it.
Speaker 1: Let's guess roller skating. I hope it's not bowling.
Speaker 2: Right, or just like what size in general? What size
Speaker 2: do you wear in this? What size do you we're
Speaker 2: in that Do you like ear rings?
Speaker 1: Do you?
Speaker 2: I'm like, what's happening.
Speaker 1: Oh, maybe he's gonna pretty woman you.
Speaker 2: I feel like, yeah, honestly, I have a strong suspicion,
Speaker 2: which I'm slightly nervous about because we have different tastes.
Speaker 1: Let's just say you've heard a little bit about that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Superman would have me in like door knockers and like,
Speaker 2: you know, cross colors if it was up to him.
Speaker 2: So I'm just like, yeah, let's not go to crazy
Speaker 2: with with the outfit or whatever it is. But I
Speaker 2: did tell him that I but he asked me kind
Speaker 2: of like what did I want? And I said, honestly,
Speaker 2: a house. And then I'm like, now that's happening. So
Speaker 2: now I told him honestly, I just want to spend
Speaker 2: like a nice day with him, just enjoying. Nothing too crazy.
Speaker 2: I'm not, you know. He was like, do you like,
Speaker 2: would you want to go to a club of Minah?
Speaker 2: I mean, I'd have to really be in a mood.
Speaker 2: It's possible, but I doubt it. So we'll see.
Speaker 1: In my experience, going to the club with your esso
Speaker 1: is not that much fun. Yeah, with your husband? I
Speaker 1: mean I love my husband, but I don't. I'd much
Speaker 1: rather be on a couch watching Netflix than like, yes,
Speaker 1: spending fifteen dollars in a cocktail with him, like with
Speaker 1: other people. It's whatever, but you know it's just kind
Speaker 1: of like it's a little awkward.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like that too, So I was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: no likely no club, no club for you.
Speaker 1: But like my mom says, whatever they do, just tell
Speaker 1: them you love it.
Speaker 2: Yes, I have. This is amazing. I'm trying to get
Speaker 2: my voice right. Oh my god, no, that's too high.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Okay, that's good, that's my normalt. No,
Speaker 2: but I'm sure it's going to be awesome.
Speaker 1: Bless them well, happy early birthday. I will be I
Speaker 1: will toast you you from the resort in the Dominican Republic,
Speaker 1: where I will be beginning tomorrow. I'm so excited.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how long are you guys going to be there?
Speaker 1: Just just for a wedding. So we're going to be
Speaker 1: there Wednesday through Sunday, so nice, four days. Four days
Speaker 1: is yeah. It's one perk of marrying a Dominican, I guess,
Speaker 1: as you get to go to all the Dominican weddings.
Speaker 1: So I'm really excited.
Speaker 2: Is it. How did the Dominican of Republic fair during
Speaker 2: the hurricanes?
Speaker 1: Really? Actually, they got really lucky, as far as I
Speaker 1: know from his family and friends and what we've heard
Speaker 1: from them, they got really lucky. Of course, you know,
Speaker 1: extended family in Puerto Rico, which there's not very many,
Speaker 1: weren't as lucky. But yeah, Actually I joke because I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I married Dominican, so I get to go whenever I want.
Speaker 1: But joke's on me because he's actually his family's actually
Speaker 1: from the Santiago, the city of Santiago, which is like
Speaker 1: smack in the middle of the country, no water, no
Speaker 1: barely even rivers, Like it's just like the jungle, and
Speaker 1: not really jungle, but it's it's like rainforest and the
Speaker 1: like the worst mosquitoes you'll ever encounter in your life.
Speaker 2: So you're thinking, you're like we with sudden surf, and
Speaker 2: they're like, yeah, more like birds and trees, which are beautiful,
Speaker 2: but not what you were thinking.
Speaker 1: More like, you know, come visit my uncle, and here's
Speaker 1: a mango from his tree, and here's some eggs from
Speaker 1: his chickens. Like you know, it's just like more country
Speaker 1: than that. It has its charms but you know it's
Speaker 1: not a four star resort, which is you know, has
Speaker 1: also has its charms obviously. Yes, I'm looking forward to
Speaker 1: I'm really excited. Oh I could use a vacation after
Speaker 1: what's happening.
Speaker 2: I know, I was in the world so many things.
Speaker 2: I'm like, what should we what should we dig through? First?
Speaker 1: We must we have to talk about this whole Harvey
Speaker 1: Weinstein controversy. I feel like everybody's talking about it now.
Speaker 2: Everybody, And I'm like, it just keeps getting worse and worse.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, what I mean, you know, well for
Speaker 2: those of you who are like, what Harvey Weinstein. So
Speaker 2: just to set the stage, he is he is a producer.
Speaker 1: Manby he's like the producer. I mean, I don't even
Speaker 1: know if the producers is a big enough word for him.
Speaker 1: But he co founded Miramax, which is was ginormous, Yes,
Speaker 1: still powerful, but not as ginormous as it was like
Speaker 1: in the nineties. Yeah, but his his company produces films
Speaker 1: that lots of us have watched and heard of, like Goodwill,
Speaker 1: Hunting and Shakespeare in Love, like all these films that
Speaker 1: have won Oscars over the years. And you I always
Speaker 1: knew him as like that person people thanked and they're
Speaker 1: like they're acceptance speeches. But I never really knew who
Speaker 1: he was. You know, thank you, Hobby Doling like that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But meanwhile, while he was helping people launch their careers,
Speaker 1: he was also grouping them and dozens of hotel rooms
Speaker 1: around the world, yes.
Speaker 2: And like basically imposing his the power struggle basically like
Speaker 2: so these young women who were you know, up and
Speaker 2: coming models or actresses or whatever, putting them in positions.
Speaker 2: I think I read Ashley Judd, which I love Ashley
Speaker 2: Jed that when she was young, up and coming actress,
Speaker 2: you know, Harvey had her in the room and was
Speaker 2: like basically trying to make over children. She was like, yeah, no,
Speaker 2: I'm kind of good. It was like, well then watch
Speaker 2: me shower and all this other kind of stuff. And
Speaker 2: she didn't know what to do because you know, what
Speaker 2: do you what do you do when you're like, wow,
Speaker 2: this person can make or literally destroy my acting career,
Speaker 2: what do you do?
Speaker 1: Yeah? He was literally producing the movie that she was
Speaker 1: shooting at that time.
Speaker 2: Yep, And so she was so nervous. So she turned
Speaker 2: him down obviously, but was nervous about what was that
Speaker 2: going to mean? She told her mom and I think
Speaker 2: I read this article. She told her mom and her
Speaker 2: mom was like, yes, that was definitely sexual harassment. I mean,
Speaker 2: she went on to obviously do the movie and do well,
Speaker 2: and she said she didn't have an incident from him
Speaker 2: after that. But still other actresses are coming forward, like
Speaker 2: Wereyneth Paltrow and Angelina Joe Lee and just like wow
Speaker 2: and just like his secretaries and all that kind of stuff,
Speaker 2: and You're just.
Speaker 1: Like, what, you know, That's what really grosses me out
Speaker 1: about the story because so first there was a New
Speaker 1: York Times article, and in the New York Times article
Speaker 1: they say there are several other media organizations that have
Speaker 1: been trying to do this story for years, but you
Speaker 1: could they couldn't get enough people to come forward. But
Speaker 1: so the New York Times finally gets I think, enough
Speaker 1: people to come forward and use their names to go
Speaker 1: forward with their story. And then The New Yorker Today
Speaker 1: published their takedown, which is which which included women who
Speaker 1: said that he actually assaulted them and in some cases
Speaker 1: possibly allegedly raped them or forced himselves on them. And
Speaker 1: then and then on top of that, the New York
Speaker 1: Times ran another story where like Gwyneth Paltrow and bigger
Speaker 1: names were coming out now acknowledging and what's really freaking
Speaker 1: creepy is like every and I'm sure even the reporters
Speaker 1: have more they I'm sure they have more examples of
Speaker 1: this than they even included in their stories. But all
Speaker 1: the stories the same, Like he invited me to a
Speaker 1: room and there was a casting agent or an assistant
Speaker 1: who was supposed to be there, but they disappeared, and
Speaker 1: then we were alone, and then he asked for a massage,
Speaker 1: Like it's constantly him asking for a massage, or watch
Speaker 1: me undressed, or watch me take a shower, you know,
Speaker 1: come into the bath with me, like so, and it's
Speaker 1: just it's just be canny how all the stories are
Speaker 1: the same, and he's been doing this for so long
Speaker 1: and it was this apparently, I mean, we're not in
Speaker 1: the world of Hollywood, but apparently it was just like
Speaker 1: open secret for so long.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, And now we're at.
Speaker 1: A point where you know, he's been out. First he
Speaker 1: took a leave of absence. Then I then I'm pretty
Speaker 1: sure his company saw the New Yorker story or were
Speaker 1: asked to comment on it, and then actually fired him.
Speaker 1: So now he's been completely ousted from his company. But
Speaker 1: I'm like, how was it down? Did it go on
Speaker 1: for I mean, I I guess I understand how it
Speaker 1: went on for so long because we've seen it in
Speaker 1: so many other cases like Roger Ayles, Bill O'Reilly, Bill Cosby, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're and you know Bill Cosby. It was sort of
Speaker 1: the same thing where oh, he gave me a drink
Speaker 1: and then I woke up and I had no idea
Speaker 1: what happened.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then you're like, cause, what does this mean?
Speaker 2: Because obviously he clearly targeted people who were you know,
Speaker 2: up and coming or you know, I mean, there are
Speaker 2: not too many people honestly in the movie industry that
Speaker 2: were bigger than Harvey. So almost everybody is quote unquote
Speaker 2: below him, you know. And so I just can't imagine
Speaker 2: being like, you know, this like up and coming actress
Speaker 2: and wanting to succeed and then this man, who you know,
Speaker 2: is all powerful in this industry and he comes on
Speaker 2: to you, and you're like, what do I do? Like,
Speaker 2: am I supposed to tell? But then if you tell,
Speaker 2: that's it for your career? Like what do you do?
Speaker 2: That's why so many people didn't want to come forward.
Speaker 2: I can understand that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and lean like there's been a lot of I
Speaker 1: think in the day, like the days after the New
Speaker 1: York Times story, because I was like last week that
Speaker 1: came out, people were being critical of the lack of
Speaker 1: you know, you know, after a story like this comes out,
Speaker 1: typically you hear from females in the industry, like we did.
Speaker 1: We heard from like Lena Dunnam and others, but a
Speaker 1: lot of people were like, where are the men at?
Speaker 1: Where are the men at condemning this behavior? And I
Speaker 1: think I just today saw a headline from Matt Damon.
Speaker 2: And Ben Affleck too.
Speaker 1: Oh Ben Affleck too, who came out and spoke out
Speaker 1: because their movie Goodwill Hunting and you know was produced
Speaker 1: by him. So but I'd be interested to see who
Speaker 1: else in the industry speaks out again against it, because
Speaker 1: like even faves like Meryl Streep have in their speeches
Speaker 1: been like, I have to think this man, you know,
Speaker 1: he made my career, you know, I owe him everything,
Speaker 1: and yeah, it's a key, it's and it's it's just
Speaker 1: like another And I was reading the stories in The
Speaker 1: New Yorker because I think it had better anecdotes from
Speaker 1: the women who were impacted, Like there was one woman
Speaker 1: who was an Italian actress who Clayton, who alleges that
Speaker 1: he forced himself on her and she eventually gave in
Speaker 1: to what he was trying to do and went through
Speaker 1: with it, and how she just blamed herself for years
Speaker 1: and years and it was really the nuances. I think
Speaker 1: it really, I think it really her story especially, I
Speaker 1: think was a good example of how gray and icky
Speaker 1: and complex sometimes instances of sexual assault can be. It's
Speaker 1: not the black and white, you know, he forced himself
Speaker 1: on me and I kicked him in the balls and
Speaker 1: ran away. There's so much psychological like warfare happening, and
Speaker 1: the power dynamic between you know, this great like you said,
Speaker 1: like a media mogul and a young actress is so
Speaker 1: just like having all that pressure on you and then
Speaker 1: someone's forcing himself on you. I can't blame. And I
Speaker 1: hope it's sad to me to hear the woman the
Speaker 1: victims blaming themselves, but I think it's important to hear
Speaker 1: their stories because it shows that even if it's not
Speaker 1: that movie version of sexual assault, it's still assault. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you know, and they still deserve to have a
Speaker 1: voice and to speak out against it and not feel
Speaker 1: like they're going to be persecuted because it wasn't like
Speaker 1: a textbook you know, sexual assault, if there is such
Speaker 1: a thing.
Speaker 2: So how like, why now did the New Yorker kind
Speaker 2: of say that kind of like perused through the article
Speaker 2: like what you know, what was the tipping point to
Speaker 2: make this story break?
Speaker 1: Honestly, the way that the New York Times, like I said,
Speaker 1: the New York Times article had to acknowledged that several
Speaker 1: other organizations have been trying to write this story for years,
Speaker 1: and in fact, a couple of them are working on
Speaker 1: stories right now. I think the New York Times was
Speaker 1: the first one to get enough people to go on
Speaker 1: the record. They probably got Ashley Judd and a couple
Speaker 1: of other women to come on the record, and they
Speaker 1: were like, Okay, we have enough information, we can go forward.
Speaker 1: And they probably got those on the record comments before
Speaker 1: the other organizations did, and then I think the New
Speaker 1: Yorker right behind them. The New Yorker probably might have
Speaker 1: even been ready to publish your own story last week,
Speaker 1: but maybe waited. This is just me kind of understanding
Speaker 1: how like media organizations wait so if the New York
Speaker 1: Times scoops you own a story like that's so, But
Speaker 1: then you go and try and get more sources, more
Speaker 1: on the record sources, and run your own story. And
Speaker 1: I think that I think that the New York Times
Speaker 1: finally got enough people after all these years to go
Speaker 1: on the record publisher story. And now, like we've seen
Speaker 1: in the past with Bill Cosby and others, as soon
Speaker 1: as the first story goes out, everyone not everybody, but
Speaker 1: like a lot of people want to come forward, and
Speaker 1: then you'll start seeing stories everywhere.
Speaker 2: Shoot, yeah, well that's because then I cant understand. People
Speaker 2: are like, you know, oh, why are you saying something now?
Speaker 2: Because if I don't think anyone's going to believe me,
Speaker 2: I'm likely not to say anything. But once somebody can confirm.
Speaker 2: And sometimes you think you're the only person when something
Speaker 2: bad happens to you, and then you find out way
Speaker 2: that happened to you too, So there's the safety of
Speaker 2: like I can now be believed, you know. And I
Speaker 2: think a lot of the actresses that are coming forward now,
Speaker 2: you know, they have these established careers that he can't
Speaker 2: necessarily harm like when they were beginning, you know, kind
Speaker 2: of like new actresses, So I could see why Ashley
Speaker 2: Jed was like, you know what, I can come out
Speaker 2: now because I'm established, and this is not right.
Speaker 1: You know, we are not friendly to young women who
Speaker 1: speak out who are not established, because like you're not
Speaker 1: you look at the there was one woman, I think
Speaker 1: it was the New Yorker who got the audio. So
Speaker 1: this woman basically claimed went to the police, said that
Speaker 1: he groped her, and the police wanted to put together
Speaker 1: a sting operation so they might drew up and send
Speaker 1: him to his hotel room, and want wanted her to
Speaker 1: have a conversation with him about what happened. And she does,
Speaker 1: and anyway, the New Yorker has the audio of it,
Speaker 1: and it's really disgusting and what he's like, I'm a
Speaker 1: very famous man, you know, don't embarrass yourself. Don't lose
Speaker 1: your friendship with me for five minutes because he wanted
Speaker 1: her to come talk to him for five minutes. Anyway,
Speaker 1: But this woman actually so she went to the police.
Speaker 1: I believe she went out. She's come out before and
Speaker 1: gone public with her accusations, and all of a sudden
Speaker 1: there was like his lawyers, there was like a smear
Speaker 1: campaign against her, you know, this stuff in her past.
Speaker 1: And I mean, and honestly, if I were a woman
Speaker 1: who had been assaulted by a famous man or like
Speaker 1: a man in a place of power, and I saw
Speaker 1: that it took thirty years for this to come forward,
Speaker 1: like I wish I wouldn't It wouldn't encourage me to
Speaker 1: speak up. These types of stories just I just feel
Speaker 1: like they almost make you feel like even less like
Speaker 1: you want to speak up because clearly it took like
Speaker 1: so many years, so many voices coming together for this
Speaker 1: kind of story to come out.
Speaker 2: And I mean, I agree, I don't know that. I mean,
Speaker 2: when someone's in the position of power, it's not just
Speaker 2: like it's your livelihood. What do you say? You know?
Speaker 1: And I always go back to that story of it
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be sexual assault. It's like, do you
Speaker 1: remember that story? When I was at Yahoo and I
Speaker 1: had the makeup artist I was working with this makeup
Speaker 1: artist he was he was he had been working there
Speaker 1: for like I think a year or two, and slowly,
Speaker 1: over the course of working with him, he would say
Speaker 1: the most mean, like abusive, like manipulative things to me,
Speaker 1: just like little things like you know, uh, he would
Speaker 1: I'm struggling to come up with examples now because it's
Speaker 1: been so long. But in one case, he was like,
Speaker 1: really really being rough with my makeup, and I said,
Speaker 1: you know, could you please, you know, go lighter with
Speaker 1: the with the makeup. And this was toward the end
Speaker 1: of all these altercations we had had over the course
Speaker 1: of like six months or whatever. And he's like, well,
Speaker 1: you know, this is why no one wants to work
Speaker 1: with you at Yahoo. This is why no one wants.
Speaker 1: He would say these little things, and I would just
Speaker 1: want to be I would want to not be a diva.
Speaker 1: There is always other people in the room, and I
Speaker 1: was a lowly, not a lowly, but I wasn't like
Speaker 1: Katie Kirk. And you know, I wasn't like, I wasn't
Speaker 1: top of the call sheet. I was just in my doom,
Speaker 1: my little money minutes, you know, get him my makeup
Speaker 1: done or whatever. So I didn't want to cause a stink.
Speaker 1: But then finally I opened up to another girl, another
Speaker 1: young another young reporter who has an anchor on the shows,
Speaker 1: and she was like, oh my god, he says the
Speaker 1: most abusive things to me too. And then another girl
Speaker 1: talked about how one time he looked at her and
Speaker 1: was like, you know, asked her who abused her as
Speaker 1: a child to make her act like the way she
Speaker 1: was acting, Oh my gosh, And we all three were like,
Speaker 1: you know, in my in my case, it wasn't like
Speaker 1: every everything he was saying to me was so it
Speaker 1: wasn't going to break me. It wasn't like, you know,
Speaker 1: I wasn't going to walk out of there, and you know,
Speaker 1: as a whole human. But they were just slowly just
Speaker 1: like very very like disturbing and like uh verbally abusive
Speaker 1: things that he was saying. And then to find out
Speaker 1: other women were experiencing it, and then we sent a
Speaker 1: group email to the video department and he ended up
Speaker 1: not working there anymore. But that that, to me is
Speaker 1: like an example of it's those little subtle things that
Speaker 1: can add up. And then I and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: why didn't I say anything sooner? You know that the
Speaker 1: head of the head of video even asked me, you know,
Speaker 1: why didn't you say anything sooner? And I'm like, I
Speaker 1: I don't, you.
Speaker 2: Don't want to know. I don't know. I taught not
Speaker 2: to be troublemakers. You're taught not to rock the boat.
Speaker 2: You're taught not to disrupt, you.
Speaker 1: Know, yeah, and you're and you're also taught. It's almost
Speaker 1: like you it's like, oh, is it really that bad?
Speaker 1: It's like no one teaches you. When is it? You know,
Speaker 1: when is it so bad that you have to speak up?
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know. It just didn't seem so
Speaker 1: black and white to me that, okay, I really need
Speaker 1: to speak up. But then and it also didn't seem
Speaker 1: you know, I'm a tough cookie, like I can take
Speaker 1: this jackass, you know, saying things to me. But then
Speaker 1: to find out that other women had been spoken to
Speaker 1: even worse than I had, and like maybe if I
Speaker 1: had spoken up, he would have been fired, and you know,
Speaker 1: he wouldn't had an opportunity. I always think about that,
Speaker 1: and I don't know, I don't I don't know if
Speaker 1: I would do anything differently. I wish I could say, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I I would go back and speak up earlier.
Speaker 1: But you never know until you're in that seat as
Speaker 1: a young woman.
Speaker 2: No, you're you're right. You never know, honestly until it's
Speaker 2: so easy, until kind of like your back is against
Speaker 2: the wall and it's just it's I find that I'm
Speaker 2: a much better advocate for other people than I am
Speaker 2: for myself, And so you know, it's easy for me,
Speaker 2: Like if I see someone doing something wrong with someone else,
Speaker 2: I'm like, what, like no, but me, I'm like, well,
Speaker 2: you know, I could take it. I could. A lot
Speaker 2: of times I stand up only because, like you said,
Speaker 2: I think about what does this mean for someone else?
Speaker 1: You know, I know, is there any case in your
Speaker 1: life where you're like, do you have this? Have you
Speaker 1: ever had an interaction with someone like consecutive times and
Speaker 1: you're like, next time, I'm going to say this, or
Speaker 1: like next time I'm going to do this different, And
Speaker 1: then it keeps happening and then you just for some
Speaker 1: reason or the other, continue to not speak up for yourself.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, all the time. I told you, like I
Speaker 2: had a bad habit of having like and thank you
Speaker 2: guys for tweeting me about like someone actually told me
Speaker 2: they're like I'm a fully friend. I'm like, oh oh,
Speaker 2: people are like confessing, I'm so sorry. So yeah, because
Speaker 2: like I said, I tend to I don't know if
Speaker 2: it's like middle child syndrome, but I'm a people pleaser
Speaker 2: and so well I always take it really personally. If
Speaker 2: someone is mean to me or doing something because I
Speaker 2: think to myself, well, what did I what did I
Speaker 2: do to elicit this response? I must not be nice enough,
Speaker 2: like I smile enough and perky and I said, hey,
Speaker 2: it's okay, you know, And what's so bad about when
Speaker 2: someone is like when someone is just nasty or mean
Speaker 2: and they pick up on, oh got me a people
Speaker 2: pleaser here, they will abuse you more than the average.
Speaker 2: And so I've definitely been there where I'm like, oh
Speaker 2: my gosh, okay, this has gone too far. You know,
Speaker 2: next time, I'm gonna say, hey, you not today, and
Speaker 2: I'm like and then it happens, and I'm like, uh,
Speaker 2: you know what, Actually, I'm just gonna be even nicer.
Speaker 2: But then every like every once in a while, like
Speaker 2: I will break where it'll be like I'm exhausted and
Speaker 2: I've tried and I'm tired, and then I will be like,
Speaker 2: not today, you know, and I finally signed up for
Speaker 2: myself and they're like and I find that sometimes, like
Speaker 2: I remember when I used to teach preschool, I had
Speaker 2: this woman who was so mean to me, and I
Speaker 2: was twenty two and she was like forty something and
Speaker 2: she just made it so difficult to be a good teacher,
Speaker 2: and she finally I snapped, and I said, enough, you're
Speaker 2: not gonna talk to me this way. You're not gonna
Speaker 2: treat me this way. It was even it was another
Speaker 2: layer that she was older, and like I just grew
Speaker 2: up like in a culture where you really don't talk
Speaker 2: back to older people, like there's a level of respect
Speaker 2: that you must display, And so finally I snapped and
Speaker 2: that was all she needed. She basically was like, girl,
Speaker 2: was waiting for you to stick up for yourself, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, really, so abuse for a year, But yeah,
Speaker 2: it's not easy to stand up for yourself. But for
Speaker 2: some people, they have an easier time, but for me,
Speaker 2: it's certainly not easy. But I'm definitely gotten better at
Speaker 2: it where I don't let it linger as long as
Speaker 2: I used to, or I recognize it further away, where
Speaker 2: if I see someone has that tendency I did, I'm like, okay,
Speaker 2: I'm not even gonna allow them into my space. So
Speaker 2: I try to like nip it off by the bud
Speaker 2: because I, like I said, I don't I hate conflict.
Speaker 2: I don't like people being upset with me, and so
Speaker 2: it's not really my nature to like if me and
Speaker 2: Superman are like in a you know, like we're having
Speaker 2: an argument or whatever, I'm the silent one, like, you know,
Speaker 2: like he's like, well, let's talk about it, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: I don't know, conflict. I will just pretend like it
Speaker 2: ever happened. Okay, It's like.
Speaker 1: That's that's not how that sounds healthy.
Speaker 2: But he's so good. I'm like, where should I how
Speaker 2: to communicate like this? He such a good communicator, Like
Speaker 2: so yesterday, you know, I can tell you're mad, So
Speaker 2: what happened? And I'm like, who are you? He's like,
Speaker 2: doctor Phil And meanwhile I'm like, no, I'm saying I'm fine.
Speaker 2: He's like really, cause you haven't spoken to me in
Speaker 2: twenty four hours. I'm like, have I been silent? Let's
Speaker 2: just say so. Yeah, no, it's yeah. So that's why
Speaker 2: I feel for these women because I can't imagine, you know,
Speaker 2: because I've thankfully only been in a situation like once
Speaker 2: where I was like, oh my god, I remember I
Speaker 2: met this guy at the mall. He was cute, and
Speaker 2: I gave him my number and we were like, I
Speaker 2: was gonna hang out, and I made a mistake of
Speaker 2: like I was young. I had to be like eighteen
Speaker 2: or something, and he said, oh, he picked me up.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I've got to go to the
Speaker 2: house to get my wallet. I forgot it, so, being dumb,
Speaker 2: I said sure, so went to his apartment to get
Speaker 2: his quote unquote wallet. And I knew it was gonna
Speaker 2: be some trouble when he locked the door, not like
Speaker 2: locked it like you can't get out, but like, what
Speaker 2: do you need to lock the door for? If you
Speaker 2: get me your wallet? I remember thinking like, oh, snap.
Speaker 2: And I remember being like, oh hey, he's like sit down,
Speaker 2: make itself comfortable. It was it was a studio. There
Speaker 2: was no place to sit but the bed, so I
Speaker 2: sat like at the edge of the bed and he
Speaker 2: came out of the room like he went to the bathrooms,
Speaker 2: like I just got to go the bathroom, Mandy. He
Speaker 2: came out naked, and I was like, oh, you were hurried, yes,
Speaker 2: And I remember thinking to myself, honestly, I remember thinking
Speaker 2: to myself, I've never been raped before. I'm gonna be
Speaker 2: raped today. Like I remember, I was literally like bracing
Speaker 2: myself for it's gonna happen to me, Like okay, you
Speaker 2: have to brace yourself and he got on like the
Speaker 2: bed behind me, like so he's laying and I'm literally
Speaker 2: I mean, I could not have set more on the
Speaker 2: edge of the bed, and I don't know what he
Speaker 2: was doing behind me. The TV was on and we
Speaker 2: sat like that for like an hour. He said nothing.
Speaker 2: I said nothing, and I was just like, what is happening,
Speaker 2: Like I don't know what he was waiting for, don't
Speaker 2: I don't know, And so nothing happened. I literally sat
Speaker 2: at the edge and he was behind me. I don't
Speaker 2: know if he was touching himself. I don't know. And
Speaker 2: then finally he was like, oh, right's gonna be ready
Speaker 2: to go, And I said, yup, because I was afraid
Speaker 2: to run to the door because I didn't know if
Speaker 2: if something in me and now I look back on it,
Speaker 2: some people like to chase, and so something in me
Speaker 2: said don't move. You know that, like if I would
Speaker 2: have ran to the door and tried to unlock the
Speaker 2: lock and get the key, that he would have like
Speaker 2: attacked me. And so me not saying anything and not moving,
Speaker 2: it was like, Okay, he was bored with this is
Speaker 2: not the gay. I can't wrestle her to the ground.
Speaker 2: She's not moving, she's not crying, she's not anything. I
Speaker 2: just didn't say anything. And so we last and I remember,
Speaker 2: you know, him saying that, oh, I'll dropped you off,
Speaker 2: and I had him like my drop me off like
Speaker 2: four blocks away from like where I live, Like okay,
Speaker 2: this is my house. Okay by what And it was
Speaker 2: a time of Beeber's and then he like paid me,
Speaker 2: was like hey, let's see you again. Of course I
Speaker 2: ignored it. Then he started going ballistic paging and calling
Speaker 2: and calling. It was crazy, like I know you live,
Speaker 2: I can come to your house at any time. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 2: go to that house if you want to. I don't live.
Speaker 2: But I remember thinking to myself, yo, first and last
Speaker 2: of putting myself in a position like that because of
Speaker 2: like me being like dumb, So yeah.
Speaker 1: Well you dumb, you know, be nice. You were young.
Speaker 1: I mean, you don't want to blame yourself at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, he's the creep, that's true, But.
Speaker 2: I just mean like putting as a woman, like I
Speaker 2: had to like really recognize that, like I have to
Speaker 2: be on guard because I grew up pretty sheltered. I
Speaker 2: never had to really be on guard before. And it honestly,
Speaker 2: wasn't the first time, like it was. I recognized that
Speaker 2: that in college. I learned that if you agree to
Speaker 2: go to a guy's room, then it was like you
Speaker 2: were sending a silent message to many men that like
Speaker 2: oh I'm down for with the get down. And it
Speaker 2: took me a while, like like I can remember going
Speaker 2: on guy's room thinking we're gonna study and like he's like, oh,
Speaker 2: thinking like we're going to make out, and I'm like no,
Speaker 2: And he wasn't like particularly mad, but he was surprised, like, well,
Speaker 2: why'd you come? And I'm like, what is that the thing? Like,
Speaker 2: So if I come to your room, that means that
Speaker 2: I'm agreeing to at the very least make out. And
Speaker 2: so I just stopped going to anyone's woman. I remember
Speaker 2: asking my male friends and they were like, well kind of,
Speaker 2: I'm like, now i'm older, I'm like, that's rape culture.
Speaker 2: If I agree, you know, if I be to study,
Speaker 2: it's your room, I'm not agreeing to make out with you.
Speaker 2: So yeah, it's And I remember just telling my sister
Speaker 2: when she went away to school, like you know, after me,
Speaker 2: like just kind of giving her like the rundown of
Speaker 2: like you know, just being very mindful of her surroundings
Speaker 2: of like not going to anyone's room because for whatever reason,
Speaker 2: studying in a room means, hey, you're likely to get
Speaker 2: some sex from me. So yeah, yeah, whocha. I just
Speaker 2: I like, I just remember thinking. I can't even remember,
Speaker 2: like just thinking back, like I really was like, you're
Speaker 2: gonna be raped today, that's it's happening. Oh, I'm so
Speaker 2: glad what I said. Nightmares for like weeks. Of course,
Speaker 2: I didn't want to tell my parents because I was like,
Speaker 2: they're gonna be like, you're never allowed I was never
Speaker 2: allowed out anyway, you know. So I was like they're like,
Speaker 2: you're never gonna be allowed out. So I didn't tell anyone.
Speaker 2: I just was like and then, you know, I remember
Speaker 2: now I saw him a couple of years later, like downtown,
Speaker 2: and like he cursed me out. I think it was
Speaker 2: just crazy now that I look back at it, and
Speaker 2: he was like, oh I remember you, you stupid this
Speaker 2: and that I was just like yeo, okay, And I
Speaker 2: just remember him like walking down the street yelling behind
Speaker 2: me and like other men looking and I'm never thinking
Speaker 2: to myself, wow, so you're not gonna say anything to him.
Speaker 2: You know, I just yeah, sometimes people can be the
Speaker 2: absolute worst. I see why people are afraid when they
Speaker 2: have daughters because not gonna say that men can't go
Speaker 2: through it. But I feel like women are so vulnerable physically,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 1: I feel like I've been so lucky, Like I acknowledge
Speaker 1: how lucky I am. All the travel I've done, all
Speaker 1: the like close calls I've had, I've haven't any issues.
Speaker 1: But you know what, I don't feel like that's made
Speaker 1: me like a I don't think I'm going to be
Speaker 1: a relaxed parent because I was so lucky. I think
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be even more strict. I'm gonna be like
Speaker 1: I was lucky. You're going to be like I use
Speaker 1: up all the luck.
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, Because they say, isn't it one of four
Speaker 2: women or one of three women are sexually like assaulted
Speaker 2: or raped?
Speaker 1: That sounds right? I don't. I don't know what the
Speaker 1: statistic is, but it's a lot of it's a lot
Speaker 1: of women. But thank you for sharing that story.
Speaker 2: No, you're welcome. I mean, you know, I think everybody
Speaker 2: has to be on there, like on their guard I mean, thankfully,
Speaker 2: you know, I've got a good boot now, and honestly,
Speaker 2: I feel sorry for anybody who wants to step to
Speaker 2: the left or right because Superman does a lot of things,
Speaker 2: but play is not one of them. Like there's times
Speaker 2: I have to be careful because I'm like if I'm complaining,
Speaker 2: like oh, such as such, client, He's like, who where
Speaker 2: do they live? I was like, no, that's not what
Speaker 2: we do. He's like, no, no do they Where did
Speaker 2: they live? It feels so weird because I just I
Speaker 2: grew up like just taking care of myself, so like
Speaker 2: it's weird to have like it's someone And honestly, some
Speaker 2: of the guys I did weren't exactly the most like protective,
Speaker 2: and so they have someone so overly protective. I'm like, no,
Speaker 2: you can't. Are you gonna are you gonna beat them up? No? No, no,
Speaker 2: just just talk. I'm like, you're you're sixty six. I
Speaker 2: don't think talking is what they're gonna see where they see? No,
Speaker 2: And he's not much of a talker. So but it
Speaker 2: feels nice to know, like, ah, you don't want none
Speaker 2: of this, even though I'm not gonna let him, just
Speaker 2: so you know.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm at least I'm glad to see that they
Speaker 1: at least actually fired him. It's a damn shame and
Speaker 1: how and like a third of the board apparently left.
Speaker 1: There's no way they didn't know this. I mean, he
Speaker 1: was settling all these lawsuits all these years. But I mean, Harvey,
Speaker 1: don't worry. You'll probably be our next president. Now it's
Speaker 1: you'll you'll, you'll be fine. It's just really sad. But uh,
Speaker 1: it's and you know, you want to give the advice
Speaker 1: to young women if this happens to you in a
Speaker 1: work area, in a workspace, you know, you know, take
Speaker 1: the complaint to your human resource department, to a superior
Speaker 1: or whatever. It's just really it really and I know
Speaker 1: I don't want to spend too much time on the topic,
Speaker 1: but it really pisses me off because that is so inadequate,
Speaker 1: that advice, Because you know, I've interviewed We did a
Speaker 1: story last year on a young woman who did this exactly,
Speaker 1: went to HR several times and was retaliated against by
Speaker 1: her employer because she went to HR, was demoted, was
Speaker 1: given was given less work, you know. And although she
Speaker 1: ended up doing the same thing a lot of these
Speaker 1: women do, settling a lawsuit out of court with her superior.
Speaker 1: She in order to keep her job, would have had
Speaker 1: to continue working with this creep. They didn't fire him.
Speaker 1: He was still working there, and so in the end
Speaker 1: she still was the one punished. She had to leave.
Speaker 1: She was a single mother, leave her job and go
Speaker 1: find something else. And it's just not a perfect there's
Speaker 1: just no like perfect la la la like happy ending
Speaker 1: to this. I think it's so much the onus is
Speaker 1: on the companies themselves to take action and get rid
Speaker 1: of people who at the top, who are taking advantage
Speaker 1: of their power at the position and power. And I mean,
Speaker 1: I can't say it again, like we need more women
Speaker 1: in places of power.
Speaker 2: Please, for sure. That's the only way, it's the only.
Speaker 1: Way I think it'll it'll stop. And a lot of women,
Speaker 1: not just one, because I think one woman at a
Speaker 1: board table with a bunch of men is not any better.
Speaker 1: We need more and more and more.
Speaker 2: More more. Are we going to talk about, uh.
Speaker 1: Dove, Dov, we can talk? Is this the Danielle Brooks controversy?
Speaker 2: It's no, no, the commercial? Is that what you're talking about?
Speaker 1: Well, daniel books, Yeah, yeah, Well I think I learned
Speaker 1: about it because Danielle Brooks from Orange is the New Black.
Speaker 1: She wrote a column on Lenny Letter about the Dove commercial.
Speaker 1: So I came in it from the back door.
Speaker 2: But okay, because now I just thought, because I'm in
Speaker 2: this this like branding group called like build It branded
Speaker 2: launch It with Arsha Jones, it's my arcials last thing.
Speaker 2: But anyway, someone posts there. People are always posting kind
Speaker 2: of like case studies and like just asking what are
Speaker 2: your thoughts and we try, which I love. What's I
Speaker 2: love about the group is that you try to fix
Speaker 2: other brands kind of like issues in an effort to
Speaker 2: better understand marketing and stuff. So it's a great, like
Speaker 2: you know, kind of like great group. It's mostly women
Speaker 2: and brown women. Now, so yeah, someone posted the still
Speaker 2: shot and I said, what in the heck? This can't
Speaker 2: be real. This can't be real. And then, you know,
Speaker 2: so people were kind of like going in and talking about, like,
Speaker 2: you know, why this is not good, what stuff can do.
Speaker 2: But then I went to go watch the video, the
Speaker 2: actual commercial, and I know this is not super popular
Speaker 2: and I was not gonna post it on my Facebook
Speaker 2: because I don't want people to come for me. But
Speaker 2: the commercial wasn't that bad.
Speaker 1: I know, commercial because I actually haven't. I've only seen screenshots,
Speaker 1: I haven't actually watched it.
Speaker 2: Okay, so the commercial, the purpose of this lotion or
Speaker 2: whatever soap is supposed to show that it can fit
Speaker 2: different skin types. So it's this cute brown girl with
Speaker 2: the bun. She takes off her brown shirt, and as
Speaker 2: she's taken off, she becomes this redhead, this cute redhead
Speaker 2: with like a long ponytail. And then the redhead takes
Speaker 2: off her shirt and she becomes this middle Eastern maybe Hispanic,
Speaker 2: kind of like looking beautiful woman, like long black hair,
Speaker 2: and as that woman takes it off, it's an older
Speaker 2: woman who's really pretty. So it goes from like different
Speaker 2: race and age and of like, hey, this soap can
Speaker 2: help everyone. And so when I saw the commercial in
Speaker 2: its entirety, I was like, oh, although what I thought
Speaker 2: was strange was why did Dove have this screenshot like
Speaker 2: from what I look like? The woman in the group
Speaker 2: who shared it shared it from Dove's page. I'm like,
Speaker 2: this is the most unflattering screenshot because all you're showing
Speaker 2: is a woman black woman slowly unpeeling and becoming a
Speaker 2: white woman. Like I don't know how any.
Speaker 1: Of the people probably just saw the screenshot and made
Speaker 1: a judgment call yes.
Speaker 2: But I guess with all that's going on, even with
Speaker 2: the larger commercial in not being that bad, I don't
Speaker 2: know that that order was a good idea anyway, you know,
Speaker 2: because with all that's happening, and I'm just like dub like, oh,
Speaker 2: it's either a lotion or soap. And honestly, like someone
Speaker 2: said it best, someone said, hey, dev I'm looking at
Speaker 2: the whole commercial, because I was like, no, it's meant
Speaker 2: to show the different when they're like, I got you,
Speaker 2: But did you bring a brown person into the room
Speaker 2: and say hey, thoughts? Honestly, because this could have It's
Speaker 2: just true that if you brought someone brown into the
Speaker 2: room and said thoughts about what you know, someone's going
Speaker 2: to say, I get what you're I get what you're
Speaker 2: trying to do. Oh sorry, this is yeah, I said,
Speaker 2: got it. It was a mosquito, and I said not today.
Speaker 1: It's the little things, right, I.
Speaker 2: Get what you're trying to do here, but it's having
Speaker 2: a brown, black woman turned into a white woman. No
Speaker 2: matter how you slice it, it's not a really it's
Speaker 2: not a good idea, you know, And that I see
Speaker 2: where you're going with, Like, but there has to be
Speaker 2: a better way to illustrate that different skin types and
Speaker 2: skin tones can use this there. I mean, obviously there
Speaker 2: has to be I mean, Rihanna just lost launched penty
Speaker 2: and showed that, like, hey, this is a makeup brand
Speaker 2: that caters to all kinds of women without having to
Speaker 2: do this, you know.
Speaker 1: Hey, yeah, they matched the undershirts to the color of
Speaker 1: their skin, like it's nice. Hey we have undershirts and
Speaker 1: different shades now, Like yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Just was like, so, like I said, the overall outrage,
Speaker 2: I mean, I I the still shot looked terrible, but
Speaker 2: the commercial and its entirety wasn't as bad, although obviously
Speaker 2: it wasn't it wasn't good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's a marketing table. Maybe Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I honestly I can say if I had seen that,
Speaker 1: I would have raised any alarms.
Speaker 2: I honestly, I can honestly say I probably wouldn't have.
Speaker 2: Because when I saw the commercial, I was like, okay,
Speaker 2: and so I went about my business. And then when
Speaker 2: I saw it blew up. I was like I was
Speaker 2: talking about the same commercial. But then I realized most
Speaker 2: people had never seen the commercial and even then, you know,
Speaker 2: by then they were already so enraged and there was
Speaker 2: really no pulling back. I think most people just were
Speaker 2: reacting to that still because that's still shot is damaging.
Speaker 1: It is, and it's just not the time to be
Speaker 1: making even like even the the perception of any sort
Speaker 1: of like racism or perception of colorism. It's just people
Speaker 1: are just really, we're just all sensitive to it right now.
Speaker 1: But I don't know I'm given Dove a pass, can
Speaker 1: I be, because like Dove does so much for I
Speaker 1: don't know. I think they were one of the earliest
Speaker 1: brands to like have different skin colors, different ages, and
Speaker 1: they're at they try. It's not like I think it
Speaker 1: was even I think it wasn't as dramatic, quite as
Speaker 1: dramatic as like that shame moisture controversy a couple of
Speaker 1: months ago. That's just my I'm playing Devil's Advocate. Send
Speaker 1: me your hate mail, Brandon Bish.
Speaker 2: I know I was gonna say. I know people are
Speaker 2: gonna be like, what like I said, I'm not saying,
Speaker 2: and man, it's not saying that that it was well
Speaker 2: executed or whatever, and not to say that, you know,
Speaker 2: there's not a history obviously. Like I mean, if you
Speaker 2: look at some old old Dove advertisements, like there literally
Speaker 2: is like a little brown baby getting into like Dove
Speaker 2: soap and coming out quote unquote clean and white.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, but seeing that, Okay, maybe I need to
Speaker 1: brush up on my Dove commercial.
Speaker 2: So there's definitely that. I'm not saying that. I'm just
Speaker 2: saying that, like I think that a lot of the
Speaker 2: backlash is mostly the screenshot, not necessarily the whole commercial,
Speaker 2: and that it's not well executed. And this is what happened.
Speaker 2: It's kind of like my brown break today, but it's
Speaker 2: not well executed. And because to me, there's not enough
Speaker 2: there's not enough people in decision making like rooms to say, hey, yeah,
Speaker 2: that's not really gonna fly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, apparently I shouldn't be in marketing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd be like, yeah.
Speaker 1: It's great, Well what yeah an other did you read it?
Speaker 1: How do you feel? Since we're going to be on
Speaker 1: these controversy topics. So, and this is also related to
Speaker 1: like I think, being a person, like being at work
Speaker 1: and all the things happening in our country right now,
Speaker 1: the xenophobia, the racism, the Black Lives matter, the police brutality,
Speaker 1: the NFL protest whatever. All these subject matters are very
Speaker 1: delicate subjects to broach in the workplace, and I think
Speaker 1: we're all seeing the worst of this from Jamille Hill
Speaker 1: at ESPN, who has just fired for her tweets speaking
Speaker 1: out against the Dallas Cowboys owner for his disrespect quote
Speaker 1: unquote of players who have been taking the knee and
Speaker 1: protests of black Lives matter. So she was fired. Remember
Speaker 1: this is the same like as ESPN anchor who Trump
Speaker 1: himself or the Trump White House, I think, came out
Speaker 1: saying that she should be fired when she criticized him,
Speaker 1: called them a white suppersist on air.
Speaker 2: The lot I mean, I personally, I mean, if the
Speaker 2: truth is the truth, call it the truth, you know.
Speaker 2: And I knew that they were because I saw, like,
Speaker 2: you know that, and I knew when I saw, like,
Speaker 2: you know, the story about her tweet, I said, yeah,
Speaker 2: they're gonna let her go because honestly, not because it's right,
Speaker 2: because it's so easy to dispose of brown women like
Speaker 2: who's fighting for you that has any position of power?
Speaker 2: You know, who's the woman above you that says no,
Speaker 2: not today, you know. And so it's just such a shame,
Speaker 2: you know, but I'm just so glad that more and
Speaker 2: more people are willing to speak out despite the consequences,
Speaker 2: you know, because it's almost like after a while, it's
Speaker 2: like you can't fire everyone, you can't let go of everyone,
Speaker 2: you can't dise everyone. You know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, what she was saying is, you know, if
Speaker 1: you just if you don't agree with what the Dallas
Speaker 1: Cowboys founder has done or the owner, then you should boycott,
Speaker 1: boycott their advertisers or whatnot. I don't know, it's it's
Speaker 1: I understand, and like, you know, being a journalist, I
Speaker 1: don't cover like politics, you know, she's in sports. There
Speaker 1: is like this and there. It's been completely blurred. But
Speaker 1: this expectation to be completely unbiased. And I think it's
Speaker 1: really hard when you're when you're a journalist because we're
Speaker 1: human beings and I think we all have to be
Speaker 1: careful in our in our jobs. Just what you say
Speaker 1: on your Twitter feed and on Facebook is can get
Speaker 1: you fired. Like yeah, and it's just it's up to
Speaker 1: the companies. You know, they gave her I think a
Speaker 1: little that they gave her a pass for the first
Speaker 1: transgression and she apologized, and I guess the second time
Speaker 1: it was it was too much, But I think about that.
Speaker 1: I I definitely it. I censor the hell out of myself.
Speaker 1: I don't even tweet hardly anymore because I'm too afraid
Speaker 1: of what I might say, because there's just too much
Speaker 1: I want to say. And I when I put things
Speaker 1: on Facebook, I definitely have my filter for friends only
Speaker 1: except for acquaintances. And acquaintances are like all of my
Speaker 1: work colleagues and relatives and whoever, you know, because I'm
Speaker 1: just I'm trying to be over over protective of my
Speaker 1: own voice so that I don't get myself into trouble.
Speaker 2: No, and I think that too, honestly. I mean, I
Speaker 2: do censor myself, like if it's straight like budget Niste,
Speaker 2: the stuff like you're not gonna see me really talk
Speaker 2: about like politics and stuff on like the budget he's
Speaker 2: on Facebook, or the budget he's on Instagram. Unless I mean,
Speaker 2: every once in a while, on like Instagram, I'm like,
Speaker 2: you know, I will say I'll share something, but like
Speaker 2: my personal page, I'm a lot less, you know, I'm
Speaker 2: a lot more free to share. And even then it's
Speaker 2: still I share my opinion, but in a in a
Speaker 2: more in a careful way, knowing that it's still I'm
Speaker 2: still even though it's Tiffany, you know, there's still my
Speaker 2: brand and my business that's attached to it. But it
Speaker 2: doesn't mean I won't share my displeasure. I will. I'll say,
Speaker 2: you know, this is unfair, this is not right, and
Speaker 2: this is you know, like I you know, but I
Speaker 2: might not share as much on the budget nis the page,
Speaker 2: at least not in that way, you know. But then
Speaker 2: sometimes I'm overwhelmed and I'm like, I don't care, this
Speaker 2: is terrible, you know. And so but even then I'm
Speaker 2: still mindful of like how like you're not going to
Speaker 2: see me, curse that that's just not me anyway. But
Speaker 2: I mean, you know you're not going to see me, curse,
Speaker 2: You're not going to see me, you know, which harm
Speaker 2: upon anyone. You're not going to see that. You know
Speaker 2: you're going to see And just know that if I
Speaker 2: do share something, I thought about it and I looked
Speaker 2: at it and I read it and I read it again,
Speaker 2: you know, because I but I just feel like I
Speaker 2: have to say something, you know. So it's hard because
Speaker 2: you know, these days you have to think to yourself,
Speaker 2: ten years, twenty years from now, you know, what is
Speaker 2: it that I'd like for people to see? And so
Speaker 2: and everyone's I mean, I know there are some people
Speaker 2: who their ministry, you know, for lack of a better word,
Speaker 2: is to disrupt in that way, meaning that they are
Speaker 2: here to be the megaphone and say no, no, no, politics, religion,
Speaker 2: all of that stuff. I say it, and that's their ministry.
Speaker 2: That's that's the way that they make the world better.
Speaker 2: And I commend that and I'm happy for that. But
Speaker 2: I know for me that one of the things that
Speaker 2: my disruption is to say, you go out there and
Speaker 2: you shine a light person, and I will support you.
Speaker 2: But what I do is I try to take women,
Speaker 2: especially women of color, and say, okay, girl, at the
Speaker 2: end of the day, if you don't have no money,
Speaker 2: you don't have no power. So let's get your credit together,
Speaker 2: Let's get you this house, let's get you saving. Let's
Speaker 2: so that's what I actively, that's my activism, is that like,
Speaker 2: if I can teach brown women how to not only
Speaker 2: stabilize their finances but to grow and excel, that is
Speaker 2: where I'm like, that's what I'm working on. You know.
Speaker 2: So sometimes people will be like, go, Tiffy, are you
Speaker 2: gonna comment on that, and I might, but honestly, I
Speaker 2: really that's what I that's my overarching goal. Like I'm
Speaker 2: not teaching financial education because it's not random, it's very
Speaker 2: calculated to cultivate a group of Brown women who are
Speaker 2: not only just financially secure and stable, but who are
Speaker 2: killing it out there. So that way, you know, when
Speaker 2: you know, when the time comes for you to ask
Speaker 2: for a raise, you know, there's a brown girl sister
Speaker 2: sitting behind the big desk. When the time comes for
Speaker 2: you to borrow money, it's a sister sitting there. It's
Speaker 2: what you know what I mean, Like that's really important
Speaker 2: to me, And yeah, that's really important to me. So
Speaker 2: like that's kind of my way of giving back. Yeah. See, yes,
Speaker 2: it's a perfect segue of breaking and boosting, and I
Speaker 2: think I wanna I want to boost the brown women
Speaker 2: who are in those positions. Honestly, every single major contract
Speaker 2: that have gotten except for one, has been because a
Speaker 2: brown woman was in that room fighting for me. Like
Speaker 2: I think of like the major brands that I work with,
Speaker 2: like a Ford or or even like some of the
Speaker 2: TV shows that I'm on now and stuff like and
Speaker 2: I finally get to the space. There's a sister there
Speaker 2: who pulls me to the side and says, girl, I've
Speaker 2: been telling them about you for three years. I've been
Speaker 2: putting together power points and presentations of this and this
Speaker 2: and this and that, and finally they said, well, we'll
Speaker 2: open the door just a little bit and Tiffany, you
Speaker 2: come in and when you smash it, I look at
Speaker 2: them like I told you, and you know, and I
Speaker 2: just wish that. That's why it's so important for us
Speaker 2: to be in those spaces, because I so much of
Speaker 2: what I do I would not be able to do
Speaker 2: without these women who I don't even know advocating for me,
Speaker 2: like they're my sister, cousin, mother, friend, you know. No,
Speaker 2: you know, I can't tell you how many women like
Speaker 2: literally like you know, it'd be something major. And I'm like,
Speaker 2: this was so great. How'd you find me? And they're like, oh,
Speaker 2: Calyssa told us, and I'm like, what's Calyssa? Jess was
Speaker 2: like girl me you know, or like no Tanya told us,
Speaker 2: or no Dreama told us, or what And almost without fail,
Speaker 2: that person will have told me that they've been working
Speaker 2: on it for a number of years. Can you imagine ye,
Speaker 2: and I'm like really, They're like, girl, yes, they've been saying, oh,
Speaker 2: we want someone, we're looking for a finance expert or
Speaker 2: we're looking for this. I'm like, oh, what about Tiffy,
Speaker 2: What about Tiffy Nana? And she was like, year after year,
Speaker 2: I bring you up, I pull up your numbers, I
Speaker 2: show them your growth, I show them you're and you know,
Speaker 2: finally you know, and then your job at my job
Speaker 2: is to kill it when I'm there and to over deliver,
Speaker 2: so that way they can say, see see I told you,
Speaker 2: And so that way it leaves the door open, so
Speaker 2: more more brown ambition folks can can come to the door.
Speaker 2: And I just want to give a brown boost to
Speaker 2: those women who are in those spaces. Like when I
Speaker 2: work with Prudential, it was two brown women that pulled
Speaker 2: me in Prudential. Is I am not the target audience
Speaker 2: for like a Prudential. You know, it's very much an
Speaker 2: old boys club at Prudential for the most part. But
Speaker 2: these women pulled me in on small little assignments that said, Tiffany,
Speaker 2: just kill it, okay, then bigger assignments, Tiffany, just kill it.
Speaker 2: And then it grew and before you know what prudential
Speaker 2: is working with more and more brown influencers and bloggers
Speaker 2: and stuff as relates to personal finance, and so I just, yeah,
Speaker 2: I cannot thank these women enough for one being where
Speaker 2: they are when there are not many of them, and
Speaker 2: being an advocate. Like I did an interview today and
Speaker 2: the woman on the phone, even though she wasn't a
Speaker 2: brown woman, she was a woman. She said, oh my god,
Speaker 2: it was so nice talking to you. She said, they
Speaker 2: wanted me to do an interview, and they had all
Speaker 2: these lists and I was like, no, I refused to
Speaker 2: interview another white man about and I was rowling, and
Speaker 2: she list is the Jewish lady and she was so called.
Speaker 2: We had just a great conversation about kids, about everything,
Speaker 2: and so we were just talking in general. She was like, no,
Speaker 2: when I get the opportunity to write for publication, I'm
Speaker 2: always looking like, are there any people of color? Are
Speaker 2: there any women like they know things too? And that's
Speaker 2: what you need, is that the more of us that
Speaker 2: can be in these spaces, the more of us we
Speaker 2: can pull in. And so yeah, I just want to
Speaker 2: give a brown boost to those women out there who
Speaker 2: are you know, not only like in these spaces, but
Speaker 2: are making it their business to pull other women in amen.
Speaker 1: I endorse, endorse that message.
Speaker 2: So what about you, miss Mandra Are you going to
Speaker 2: boost a break? Oh?
Speaker 1: You know, you know me, let's keep things positive. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do a boost day.
Speaker 2: Should the shimmy with a twist? Oh? Got so?
Speaker 1: My boost is speaking of putting women of color behind
Speaker 1: in the boardrooms, in the executive suites. I think behind
Speaker 1: the camera is important to case in point. This fabulous
Speaker 1: Chinese producer at Fusion put together this really exceptional video
Speaker 1: on the history of tipping, and I think those two
Speaker 1: things should are related. I don't think that many other
Speaker 1: producers would have cared to look into the history of
Speaker 1: tipping if it weren't a minority woman. So I was
Speaker 1: really excited to see this video by this young producer.
Speaker 1: But I had no idea the history of tipping. I mean,
Speaker 1: I like to consider myself like well educated, but no
Speaker 1: one ever told me tipping goes all the way back
Speaker 1: to slave days or Jim Crow and like the history
Speaker 1: of of African Americans in this country, and like, did
Speaker 1: you see the video? I know I posted on Brand Ambition.
Speaker 1: If you get a chance to watch.
Speaker 2: It, yet no, no, but I know you're talking about
Speaker 2: but I didn't school.
Speaker 1: It's really good. So basically the concept of tipping. You know,
Speaker 1: obviously in Europe there is no tipping, like you just
Speaker 1: like pay whatever you pay. And in many countries, I
Speaker 1: don't know if I don't want to speak for every country,
Speaker 1: but like when you to leave the United States, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is so nice. No one has to tip it all.
Speaker 1: In our country, you know, waiters and weight staff get
Speaker 1: paid like two dollars minimum wage. I think an hour
Speaker 1: is the federal minimum wage for weight staff, and they're
Speaker 1: supposed to make up the rest of their wages and tipping.
Speaker 1: Back in the day when tipping was made a policy,
Speaker 1: it was a way for employers to get away, to
Speaker 1: get away with not paying black workers, who were mostly
Speaker 1: in service jobs, any money at all. And tipping was
Speaker 1: seen as like something that you would do to someone
Speaker 1: in someone you see is lower than you. Like it
Speaker 1: was it was seen as, oh, you wouldn't tip a
Speaker 1: white waiter, that's rude, you know they you only, but
Speaker 1: you would tip the black waiter because that is that's
Speaker 1: their station. It just it took a long time for
Speaker 1: it to be seen as and of course more more
Speaker 1: and more non minorities taking uh service jobs to be
Speaker 1: seen as okay, we actually need these tips tip well.
Speaker 1: But even today, as the video points out, and I
Speaker 1: don't know why I've never considered this or thought about
Speaker 1: this either, but studies show that people of color, especially
Speaker 1: women of color, in service industries and waiting jobs, get
Speaker 1: tipped significantly less on average than than white weight staff.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I kind of lied. That was more of
Speaker 1: a break, but a boost for the video done by
Speaker 1: a great this Chinese producer, young woman named Isabelle, and
Speaker 1: a break for continued racism messing up our money.
Speaker 2: You know, it's a like I try my best now
Speaker 2: to really tip, like I try to at least get
Speaker 2: you know, like the fifteen per se. I mean not,
Speaker 2: I don't try. I give at least a fifteen percent,
Speaker 2: and then, you know, I really try to tip well,
Speaker 2: like if you were, you know, a good waiter waitress,
Speaker 2: then I you know, I try to be like, oh,
Speaker 2: you know what, here's an extra because you know, you'd
Speaker 2: like to reward good behavior, but at the very least
Speaker 2: get your fifteen twenty percent, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I have that one friend who you go
Speaker 1: to dinner with and they don't tip. Ugh I did,
Speaker 1: and I stopped going to dinner with her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was gonna say I stopped honestly, because I mean,
Speaker 2: even when if you don't have enough money to tip,
Speaker 2: then you don't have enough money to eat out, Like
Speaker 2: that's part of it. Like you have to pay for
Speaker 2: the service for someone to bring food to the table
Speaker 2: and bringing your water when you requested. All that kind
Speaker 2: of stuff costs that that tip is to pay for that.
Speaker 2: But I will say, sometimes it's kind of annoying, but
Speaker 2: I get why people do it. Those Have you ever
Speaker 2: been to those restaurants where the tip is included?
Speaker 1: They're they're becoming more of the norm in New York City,
Speaker 1: like a lot of but no, I haven't gone to
Speaker 1: one yet.
Speaker 2: And so the only thing I don't like. I remember
Speaker 2: I went to a restaurant with like it was appairly
Speaker 2: maybe it was like five or six of us. So
Speaker 2: oftentimes if you have like a larger like over four
Speaker 2: or five, sometimes they'll include the tip in the bill.
Speaker 2: But I'm like, tell me, I remember the first time
Speaker 2: it happened, and I was I didn't realize, so we
Speaker 2: were all paying and then I was like, okay, everybody
Speaker 2: your tips, and so we were all gathering additional money
Speaker 2: and then someone happened to look, They're like, wait, the
Speaker 2: tip is on here. We were gonna pay like an
Speaker 2: additional whatever, seventy bucks or whatever. And not to say
Speaker 2: we wouldn't have tipped a little extra, but we were
Speaker 2: gonna do the customary tip. I'm like, uh, that should
Speaker 2: be clearly stated. So people are not double tipping, like
Speaker 2: I mean, it's one thing to tip somebody else, another
Speaker 2: thing to literally double their tip by like one hundred dollars,
Speaker 2: you know. Yeah, so yeah, that's the only thing. But yeah, no,
Speaker 2: I'm a good tipper. Now I have to say I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna lie. And I was not a great tipper.
Speaker 2: I mean I was the bare minimum tipper, but I
Speaker 2: was not like a great like here's a little extra something,
Speaker 2: because I was like I have to take a my
Speaker 2: calculator and be like, okay, four dollars and thirty two
Speaker 2: sent let me give my thirty anybody got two pennies,
Speaker 2: Like that's I tip exactly exactly fifteen. And now I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: ahead to keep this sixty seven dollars dollars for your troubles.
Speaker 2: You know, Yeah, I'm definitely a better tipper now I try.
Speaker 1: You you tip what you can, but you gotta tip something,
Speaker 1: and don't don't be cheap. It's a couple of bucks.
Speaker 1: Like I don't know, it's a turnoff from you when
Speaker 1: people are like that cheap with their money. Then maybe
Speaker 1: don't order seamless if you don't want to pay two
Speaker 1: dollars for a tip. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, and then exactly because I mean, like I said,
Speaker 2: tipping is part of the fact that, like you have
Speaker 2: to pay for service.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you want to, if you want to
Speaker 1: be mad at somebody, be mad at our legislative or
Speaker 1: legislators who haven't changed the laws on and they're still
Speaker 1: allowing people to get paid dirt cheap money for you know,
Speaker 1: these minimum wage waiting wait waitressing and what do you
Speaker 1: call it waitering like wait something staffing jobs, because you know,
Speaker 1: they're allowed to pay two dollars and whatever as a
Speaker 1: minimum wage and then you have to make up the
Speaker 1: money and tips. So if you want to, you know,
Speaker 1: piss somebody, if you want to yell at somebody, don't
Speaker 1: don't not tip the poor person who has to be
Speaker 1: stuck with this minimum wage. You know, send a letter
Speaker 1: to your congressman or woman. Make your voice heard exactly?
Speaker 2: Is that?
Speaker 1: I hope that friend is listening. She knows who she is.
Speaker 2: You always have a good question, Yes we do.
Speaker 1: We have a couple of good questions this week, and
Speaker 1: if you want to send your questions to us, you
Speaker 1: can go to Brown Ambition Podcast dot.
Speaker 2: Com dot com.
Speaker 1: And also if you just want to go straight to
Speaker 1: the source, you can email us at Brown Ambition Podcast
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com dot com. Thanks real quick, We
Speaker 1: have a question from someone who is having some issues
Speaker 1: with her secured credit card and needs our help. Oof
Speaker 1: ooh girl okay. Uh doesn't say if she wants to
Speaker 1: be anonymous or non, so will err on the side
Speaker 1: of just calling her Natalie. Okay. So, Natalie says, I
Speaker 1: opened a five hundred dollars secured credit card with Bank
Speaker 1: of America. Since then, I've been a few days late
Speaker 1: in payments once or twice. I also I also carry
Speaker 1: high balances, but I pay the card three hundred to
Speaker 1: four hundred dollars at a time. The bank hasn't increased
Speaker 1: my credit limit or changed the card to an unsecured card.
Speaker 1: Should I wait for the bank, or should I try
Speaker 1: and increase my own credit by depositing more money onto
Speaker 1: the secured card? Or should I just pay off this
Speaker 1: card and stop using it. What's the best action I
Speaker 1: can take to increase the limit of my card and
Speaker 1: switch it over to an unsecured credit card?
Speaker 2: Ooh ooh chat when you said you would lay a
Speaker 2: couple of times, I said.
Speaker 1: Whooh, the danger zone. This is like it is like,
Speaker 1: this is like the person who's like, so, I saw
Speaker 1: this pill on doctor Oz and it saysn't gonna lose
Speaker 1: fifty pounds. Uh no, don't. Oh, I'm like afraid, you know,
Speaker 1: you don't wanna know. Yeah, this is danger zone. So
Speaker 1: from the sound of your question, I'm I'm hearing that
Speaker 1: you're not quite prepared, perhaps for a unsecured credit card, right,
Speaker 1: is that what you're hearing?
Speaker 2: I you know, the fact that she will pay three
Speaker 2: hundred to four hundred dollars love some lets me know
Speaker 2: that it's not that she's not ready for it, but
Speaker 2: she's probably going about it the wrong way, because if
Speaker 2: she were to say, honestly, I've got this, I've got
Speaker 2: the lit I've got you know, I'm at three or
Speaker 2: four hundred dollars I used on the card, and I
Speaker 2: just can't seem to get ahead. But the fact that
Speaker 2: she's able to pay those love sums like that lets
Speaker 2: me know, Okay, there's money in play. She does have enough,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so that's good. Yeah, for people who don't
Speaker 1: know what a secured card is and how it works.
Speaker 1: So the general idea with the secured card is you
Speaker 1: put down a deposit. It's like five hundred dollars. So
Speaker 1: the bank takes your money and says, thank you. Now
Speaker 1: we're going to give you a line of credit quote unquote,
Speaker 1: and you're going to use the money you gave us
Speaker 1: as collateral. So if you don't make your payments, we
Speaker 1: just keep this money and go about our business. But
Speaker 1: if you make payments on time to yourself almost at
Speaker 1: the end of twelve months or however long it is,
Speaker 1: we will give you back your deposit and give you
Speaker 1: the chance in some cases to upgrade to a regular
Speaker 1: credit card unsecured credit card. And all that means is
Speaker 1: that you don't put any money down. They just give
Speaker 1: you the money to borrow without requiring collateral. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't call it.
Speaker 2: I call it like a credit card with training wheel.
Speaker 2: That's what I call it. Secure cards.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that sounds about it, and it's a good way
Speaker 1: to build credit. The best way to the best way
Speaker 1: to use it, obviously is to make all your payments
Speaker 1: on time. I hope that these late payments did it
Speaker 1: hurt her credit? You bad? But she's wondering if she
Speaker 1: should because clearly she is her limit is too small
Speaker 1: for her. She wants a card with the higher limit,
Speaker 1: and she wants to know she should keep waiting for
Speaker 1: the bank to increase her limit because it's been over
Speaker 1: a year, she says, or should she just drop this card,
Speaker 1: close it and apply for a regular credit card somewhere else.
Speaker 2: So here's the thing. This is what I suggest, like,
Speaker 2: this is what's going to make a bank make your
Speaker 2: secured cards. So I'll give you example. Superman had a
Speaker 2: secured card with our bank when I met him. He
Speaker 2: had it for maybe, like I don't know, maybe like
Speaker 2: eight months or whatever, but it was almost maxed out
Speaker 2: and he was making small payments a month, and I
Speaker 2: was like why, and he thought that's what he was
Speaker 2: supposed to do, until I was like, well, just paid
Speaker 2: off and so he did. A few months later, his
Speaker 2: credit score really jumped up, and so I had him
Speaker 2: put small charges on the card a month and paid
Speaker 2: off in full every month. And by the time the
Speaker 2: end of the year hit they doubled his limits. It
Speaker 2: was five hundred and it was now a thousand or
Speaker 2: something like that. Yeah, nine hundred and twenty thousand. Gave
Speaker 2: him back his deposit and took the secured part off
Speaker 2: the card and become an unsecured regular card. So a bank,
Speaker 2: your bank is looking to see, One, do you make
Speaker 2: on time payments? That's that's the bare minimum if you
Speaker 2: want them to make it a regular card. Two, if
Speaker 2: you really want to increase the likelihood of them making
Speaker 2: their regular card, keep your limit under thirty percent, ideally
Speaker 2: paying it off every month. So I don't know if
Speaker 2: this is your only card, but you know, if you
Speaker 2: can keep if it's a it's a five hundred dollars card,
Speaker 2: you really never want to have a balance over one
Speaker 2: hundred and fifty dollars and ideally pay it off in
Speaker 2: full every month. Is it possible, are you like really
Speaker 2: using using this card? Is it possible just to put
Speaker 2: a small charge like your Netflix account or something on
Speaker 2: this card and pay it off every month. If you
Speaker 2: do that for the next few months, then you can
Speaker 2: approach them and say, hey, you know, I've been really
Speaker 2: good with the card. I paid off in full. You
Speaker 2: know when you know when when will like the secured
Speaker 2: cart be able to be taken off, because you can
Speaker 2: call an ask. You know, typically after a year of
Speaker 2: proper usage, they take it off. But because you've missed
Speaker 2: a couple or you were late a few times, so
Speaker 2: they're still probably keeping their eye on you. So that's
Speaker 2: what I would suggest, is that. And so what I
Speaker 2: would do, and this is what I did for Superman
Speaker 2: is I had him automate. So if I were you,
Speaker 2: so you don't miss payments anymore. If you're able to
Speaker 2: pay a three or four hundred dollars lump sum on
Speaker 2: the secured card, why not on the day that your
Speaker 2: your your balance is due, that you automate a smaller
Speaker 2: payment so you never are late, meaning like let's just
Speaker 2: say your minimum amount is twenty five or thirty five dollars,
Speaker 2: automate the typical minimum amount so that way you know,
Speaker 2: at least I'm not late, even if they didn't pay
Speaker 2: it off in full at least I'm not late, and
Speaker 2: then when you get your lump sum, get your lump
Speaker 2: sum and paid off every month. That's what I'll do,
Speaker 2: at the very least to start to get the process
Speaker 2: going in your favor.
Speaker 1: I agree, I don't know that it's a good idea
Speaker 1: until I don't know that it's a good idea to
Speaker 1: run and open a different credit card, although it's possible
Speaker 1: that she might get approved for a different credit card
Speaker 1: if her credit's improved from the secured card. Behavior do
Speaker 1: you feel like when secure cards upgrade you to another
Speaker 1: the unsecured credit card to like a regular credit card?
Speaker 1: Is it often a good deal? Like are you getting
Speaker 1: are you getting a card with good terms or any like?
Speaker 1: Are there fees? Usually? Like what is what's like a
Speaker 1: step up credit card? Do you know anything about that?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, I could just tell I could just
Speaker 2: tell you from the experience of Superman that there was
Speaker 2: no additional fee. His interest rate was decent. It was
Speaker 2: kind of an alignment with his score, which was okay
Speaker 2: at the time. It was like maybe like low seven
Speaker 2: hundred ish, And I forget what his interest rate was,
Speaker 2: but I remember comparing it to kind of my interest
Speaker 2: rate and it was decent, and so it's more so
Speaker 2: like even if that's not your usable card. So for example,
Speaker 2: I have credit card. I have a credit card that
Speaker 2: I've had forever that I'm not going to close because
Speaker 2: it helps me with my length of credit history. My
Speaker 2: interest rate is not great, so the only thing that
Speaker 2: goes on that card is my Netflix. And then I
Speaker 2: have another credit card that the interest rate is great,
Speaker 2: and so that's the card that I use. So you
Speaker 2: might have your secured card upgrades itself and that's just
Speaker 2: the kind of the card that you use, like to
Speaker 2: just like prove that you can make a payment every
Speaker 2: month and pay off something every month and then your
Speaker 2: credit is strong enough for you to really apply and
Speaker 2: get qualified for a card with a much better interest rate.
Speaker 2: So sometimes cards can have different usage. So for me
Speaker 2: some you know, like one of my cards is it's
Speaker 2: not really to use, it's just to prove, Hey, Timpany's
Speaker 2: good with cards. She pays it off every month even
Speaker 2: though it's just one small charge. So that's what I
Speaker 2: would I would look into, because you don't necessarily if
Speaker 2: your credit is already taking a hit, I don't know
Speaker 2: that I want you to get an inquiry for applying,
Speaker 2: because every time you apply for credit, whether you get
Speaker 2: it or not, you get a little ding on your
Speaker 2: credit score that brings down your score. You know, a
Speaker 2: few It could be a few points, and it could
Speaker 2: be a number of points, double digit points, depending And
Speaker 2: so I'd rather you massage this card and get upgraded
Speaker 2: without the inquiry, and go and apply for another card
Speaker 2: that you may or not even get and then get
Speaker 2: that ding.
Speaker 1: We have a related question, and I think it highlights
Speaker 1: one of the highlights sort of the importance of shopping
Speaker 1: around even for the best secured card offers, because secured
Speaker 1: cards are an awesome tool to build and improve your credit.
Speaker 1: But some of them have fees. Like I didn't realize this,
Speaker 1: some of them charge monthly fees. We got a question
Speaker 1: from listener Opal a couple of weeks ago, and she said,
Speaker 1: I recently paid off a couple of credit cards. I
Speaker 1: feel really liberated, and I was going I was going
Speaker 1: through them to be sure that all of them had
Speaker 1: a zero balance, but I noticed one card charge is
Speaker 1: a fee of four dollars a month, and I charged
Speaker 1: a four dollar fee even though I had a zero balance.
Speaker 1: I had to email a couple more times with her
Speaker 1: to get to the bottom of it. It is a
Speaker 1: secured card that she has, So the question is should
Speaker 1: I just close out the secured card account or leave
Speaker 1: it open and keep paying this four dollars fee on
Speaker 1: the side.
Speaker 2: If she has other cards, then I would close it.
Speaker 2: I ended up closing mind. So I had I got
Speaker 2: a secured card for my business because it's similar. They
Speaker 2: were like, I applied for a regular card. They were like, uh,
Speaker 2: you tried it, girl. You don't even have any type
Speaker 2: of credit history, and so they were like, but you
Speaker 2: could get a secured card to kind of build your
Speaker 2: business credit history. So I did, and there was a feat.
Speaker 2: It wasn't it wasn't monthly, but it was yearly. And
Speaker 2: I didn't realize that because like it charged and it
Speaker 2: wasn't a little bit. It was like, I don't know,
Speaker 2: maybe like fifty or sixty bucks or something. And so
Speaker 2: I realized, yeah, once I was able to get the
Speaker 2: I was able to get so for whatever reason, the
Speaker 2: business account didn't automatically upgrade to a regular card. I
Speaker 2: had to apply for a whole separate regular card at
Speaker 2: that my same bank. So I got it, and so
Speaker 2: I closed the other car, because I'm like, well, why
Speaker 2: am I going to pay the sixty bucks a month
Speaker 2: or whatever? It was a year when I have my
Speaker 2: regular card at this bank now, So I if it
Speaker 2: was the only card I had, I would maybe wait
Speaker 2: apply for a regular card, so you know, you can
Speaker 2: keep your established credit history, or you can start to
Speaker 2: build credit history with that card. But I would close
Speaker 2: it because if your credit score is good enough for
Speaker 2: a regular card, that you That's really the purpose to
Speaker 2: me of a secured card is to build your credit
Speaker 2: history and credit score. So if it's good enough for
Speaker 2: a regular card, you no longer really need it, especially
Speaker 2: if it's charging you monthly. You know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, we're ready for some wins.
Speaker 2: Wind you go first.
Speaker 1: I'm going to do a win for my Chase Reserve card,
Speaker 1: which is still serving me life two years sent Wait,
Speaker 1: how long has it been? I feel like you, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was this time last year. I think I got
Speaker 1: my Reserve card paid for the honeymoon trip all the well,
Speaker 1: not the airfare and some other things, but not actually
Speaker 1: the hotels, but for like a good chunk of the honeymoon.
Speaker 1: I've been milking this card all year long, and I
Speaker 1: still have points that we're going to dr like I said,
Speaker 1: and book the I found a better on my hotel
Speaker 1: through Chase Ultimate Rewards than I did online, like even
Speaker 1: on which was I think I got like twenty dollars
Speaker 1: off per night, and then I booked my airfare through them,
Speaker 1: and I'm just the happiest customer. I think it's the
Speaker 1: one like like we said, like there's a four hundred
Speaker 1: and fifty dollars annual fee, but if you can manage it,
Speaker 1: I think it's totally worth it. Because even even after
Speaker 1: I went through that bonus, you know, everyone said, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know with the one hundred thousand point bonus, of
Speaker 1: course you want to get it. But I think if
Speaker 1: you travel a lot and eat out a lot even without,
Speaker 1: that's that crazy high sign on bonus. I think they
Speaker 1: they downgraded it to like what fifty or forty thousand.
Speaker 2: Yeah, something like that. But like, yeah, I got that
Speaker 2: finding both literally like the day before because you were like,
Speaker 2: don't wait.
Speaker 1: Don't wait, because they snatched it. They snashed it out
Speaker 1: real quick. They lost so much money on that. But anyway,
Speaker 1: shout out to finding the credit card that has the
Speaker 1: keys to my heart and just matches me very well,
Speaker 1: and yeah, I think if you even if you travel,
Speaker 1: even if you miss the initial crazy high bonus, but
Speaker 1: if you travel a ton for work or for whatever
Speaker 1: and you're like eating out, I still think it. I
Speaker 1: still think it makes a lot of sense because they
Speaker 1: give you that three hundred dollars travel credit every year,
Speaker 1: and then they give you three points back on like
Speaker 1: dining and travel and you get like TSA pre check
Speaker 1: and Global entry and all that kind of like other perks.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm a stand I wonder.
Speaker 2: For the travel credit, like if you don't use it,
Speaker 2: do you lose it?
Speaker 1: Well, you don't have a choice. They just put it.
Speaker 1: They just give it to you.
Speaker 2: Okay, Cassine, it look, I just saw it this year
Speaker 2: and I was just thinking to myself, I didn't use
Speaker 2: it this year yet, and so I'm just like looking
Speaker 2: at you.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I see what you mean. Oh, actually, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I was just yeah, yeah, yeah, I said
Speaker 1: that because I had I happened to book a flight
Speaker 1: the same day that the travel credit was applied, and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, they just did that so quick.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I'm gonna yeah, well we'll see. So yeah, no,
Speaker 2: because I did see it on there. I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: there's money on here.
Speaker 1: If you don't spend at least three hundredllar on travel,
Speaker 1: you probably shouldn't have the card in the first place, because.
Speaker 2: So is that? Is that what it does? A cult? No,
Speaker 2: I use it like all the time, And I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm sure I do, because I use it whenever I
Speaker 2: book flights and stuff. But I saw it recently on
Speaker 2: there and I'm like, wait, how do I have to
Speaker 2: apply this?
Speaker 1: Well, you don't do the applying, like, it just tells
Speaker 1: so whenever you So let's say, you know the clock
Speaker 1: restarts on your travel credit, then you spend twenty dollars
Speaker 1: on Uber, you spend the twenty dollars, and then you'll
Speaker 1: see on your statement it'll be like negative for dollars.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, okay, I was gonna say, I was gonna say,
Speaker 2: how did that work? Because yes, I see, because yeah, no,
Speaker 2: that's the card. I've linked to everything, and now I'm
Speaker 2: super excited because I've actually linked it. So I do
Speaker 2: a lot of Facebook marketing and I spend like quite
Speaker 2: a bit amount of money, and so I realized, wait,
Speaker 2: I'm missing out on some money, So I'm gonna link
Speaker 2: that card to my Facebook marketing account, so that way
Speaker 2: I can just be earn and earn and earning, uh
Speaker 2: points on top of points. Because I told Superman, I'm
Speaker 2: like the way this house is looking because i really
Speaker 2: want a dope house, so I'm willing to spend a
Speaker 2: little extra. I was like, we won't be able to
Speaker 2: go on, you know, a nice vacation in a little while,
Speaker 2: but maybe we can earn a nice vacation. So that's
Speaker 2: what really.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it also helps traveling and hurricane season. Not gonna lie.
Speaker 2: Oh that's because it does it. Does it have automatic insurance?
Speaker 1: Uh my? Oh yeah, the Chase card does have has
Speaker 1: really good travelers insurance.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think if there were a weather related thing, I
Speaker 1: think i'd be covered. But luckily, knock on wood things
Speaker 1: you're looking good for us, So I'm excited. You're welcome
Speaker 1: Chase for free advertising.
Speaker 2: Yes, exactly right, somebody from Chase Carlos because I'm not
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie, I'm not really a huge Chase fan,
Speaker 2: only because you know, you guys took my house. But no,
Speaker 2: you know, nor feelings whatever.
Speaker 1: You're not alone, I know.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, other than that, your card is pretty dope.
Speaker 2: My win is Marley Diaz. You remember Marley Daz. She started
Speaker 2: that movement a thousand Black girl books. Oh yeah, yes, so,
Speaker 2: like I know her mom. They all live in like Jersey,
Speaker 2: and her mom has this awesome nonprofit called oh I
Speaker 2: forget the name of her nonprofit, which of course yes
Speaker 2: I know, and it's like really dope because I used
Speaker 2: to volunteer for it. And so every year it's like
Speaker 2: a summer camp for a like empowering young young brown girl.
Speaker 2: So her mom, Janice is awesome, and you know how
Speaker 2: people have like their fifteen minutes of fame. Yes, so well,
Speaker 2: her mom Janis is is a doctor, like a PhD
Speaker 2: and super smart. And her mom is her father because
Speaker 2: I can't even you know, let him out. I just
Speaker 2: don't know him personally. But they've done such an awesome
Speaker 2: job with like really making sure that like Marley is everywhere.
Speaker 2: She spoke at like a Forbes summit. She I mean,
Speaker 2: she's amazing, like as it is like you know, like
Speaker 2: if you speak to her and meet her, but you know,
Speaker 2: sometimes things happen and it's just kind of like, oh,
Speaker 2: you know, there's a flash in the pan, and that
Speaker 2: was so great No, she is still growing so strong,
Speaker 2: I mean so strong. She just wrote a book. Averra
Speaker 2: Duvenet did the forward to it. Yeah, she's interviewing one
Speaker 2: of my publicists, Drina her client who her name is
Speaker 2: Patrice's Color. She is the co founder of Black Lives Matter.
Speaker 2: She's just like, I see this here. She's only twelve,
Speaker 2: and so I think the movement started a year two ago.
Speaker 2: So just imagine the ten eleven year old just like
Speaker 2: and I just love the fact that her mom is
Speaker 2: so supportive, Like, you know, she told her mom, Hey,
Speaker 2: there's not enough brown girl books, you know, and her
Speaker 2: mom's like, what are you gonna do about it? And
Speaker 2: she said, let's collect some and they did. And just
Speaker 2: to see, like how it's evolved. And I think, was
Speaker 2: it I forget it? Was it? Teen Voger one of
Speaker 2: these magazines is like helping her start a magazine to
Speaker 2: encourage other young girls. I mean, just Marlee is just amazing.
Speaker 1: She's living Mandy Woodrof's twelve year old dream. Marley.
Speaker 2: Yes, she just spoke at the Girl Scout convention and
Speaker 2: smashing it.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I would have been so jealous of
Speaker 1: her if I were twelve.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just Meanwhile, at twelve, I was still like,
Speaker 2: which Barbie? I mean, I don't play with Barbies, but
Speaker 2: kinda I do. I mean what at twelve, I was like,
Speaker 2: I don't even know what I was doing. At twelve,
Speaker 2: I was still trying to figure out like what braids to.
Speaker 1: Get, like, you know, not the beanie babies.
Speaker 2: By twelve, I knew I wasn't doing anything like this.
Speaker 2: And I'm just really proud of her because she's just dope,
Speaker 2: like self aware, self possessed, just you know, just an
Speaker 2: all around awesome young woman with awesome parents. And I'm
Speaker 2: just really proud of her. Like she just popped up
Speaker 2: in my feed and I just said, she truly is
Speaker 2: Brown ambition at its finest. So Marlee, Marlee, And I'm
Speaker 2: gonna ask your mom, you know, should I be blessed
Speaker 2: with a brown baby? So are you teaching her how
Speaker 2: to raise an awesome brown girl lessons? Because I'll take
Speaker 2: those lessons for her. Every parent I know with kids
Speaker 2: that are like amazed, you know, and not like amazing
Speaker 2: and like I push my kid, I'm a soccer I'm
Speaker 2: a helicopter mom. I push my kids kind of way
Speaker 2: just amazing in this like Hey, your kid is well adjusted, happy, smart,
Speaker 2: you know that kind of thing. I'm asking all of them, like,
Speaker 2: so what's your secret? Because you know, if I have
Speaker 2: a little Bambini or Bambino, I want them to be
Speaker 2: happy and you know, but I also want them to
Speaker 2: get trading. He's like, no, honestly, that doesn't it doesn't
Speaker 2: matter to me as much as them being happy. And
Speaker 2: I'm like figuring out like what their gift is and
Speaker 2: living that truth.
Speaker 1: I think they'll already have a leg up. You never know, kids,
Speaker 1: kids could be only their fault if they don't shine.
Speaker 2: I see some kids and I'm like, who are your parents?
Speaker 1: You know, I know, well eighteen long years. You know,
Speaker 1: you could be killing it the first five and really
Speaker 1: mess up the middle ones and they'll still try.
Speaker 2: No, all right, you know okay, ooh, I just just
Speaker 2: wrote me. This is just a little something to end on.
Speaker 2: There's this like psychic lady, this brown psychic woman that
Speaker 2: I follow, although I'm not really sure you know how
Speaker 2: much I believe in life, but I don't know. I
Speaker 2: just feel like anything's prosible. Okay, So she wrote me
Speaker 2: like a nice little message. You know, I'm probably not
Speaker 2: supposed to share, but you know, I'm an overshare. She
Speaker 2: was like, she's sending me. She's like, I have a
Speaker 2: psychic message about pregnancy heading your way late December. You
Speaker 2: need a ton of rest less travel. I'm like, damn it,
Speaker 2: feet up until the sixth of the month. I'm like,
Speaker 2: turn it. I'm like, I'm supposed to go to Australia.
Speaker 2: Cut the stress, even good stress. Oh I hope the
Speaker 2: little one arrives. Wow. And she said he pay close
Speaker 2: attention to your body. So you know, me and Superman
Speaker 2: are trying, like you know, like I actually have a
Speaker 2: you know her, I do well kind of like like
Speaker 2: a lot of my friends like get readings and stuff
Speaker 2: with her. And they was like you should, you should,
Speaker 2: and when she because she does lives and like so
Speaker 2: I watch her lives sometimes and I'll ask a question
Speaker 2: or whatever, so like not like you know, like we've met,
Speaker 2: but like social media I met, like so we're cool enough.
Speaker 2: So she you know, so when she wrote that, I
Speaker 2: was like, cause we're trying. Honestly, I actually have an
Speaker 2: appointment with like doctor h in a couple of weeks
Speaker 2: and then too because I'm thirty eight, well not yet
Speaker 2: in a couple of days. But because I'll be thirty eight,
Speaker 2: like you know, like also looking at like a fertility
Speaker 2: like doctor to like really talk about that.
Speaker 1: You know, you know you're more likely to have twins
Speaker 1: the older you wait, I know.
Speaker 2: You're as Superman is already a twin.
Speaker 1: Oh, I know. I think it's over. Oh I want
Speaker 1: you to have twins.
Speaker 2: Oh that's why he's ginormous. They like broken mother in
Speaker 2: half him and his twin brother. I'm like, I can't
Speaker 2: die and.
Speaker 1: It's all kind of technology. Now you'll be fine.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I think his daughter was like thirteen
Speaker 2: pounds something like insane. Stop she when he showed me
Speaker 2: her newborn, her newborn picture, she looks like a one
Speaker 2: year old. I was like, how come you don't have
Speaker 2: any pictures of Supergirl as a newborn. He's like that is.
Speaker 2: I'm like no, no, like when she was like born born.
Speaker 2: He's like that is. I'm like no, I mean, yo,
Speaker 2: this this this baby, I swear Mandy. She looks a
Speaker 2: full six to eight months and I'm like, this is
Speaker 2: how she came out of the wall. Me mean, while
Speaker 2: her mother is like, it's like my side. She's not big,
Speaker 2: she's little petite. They're like yeah. He was like yeah,
Speaker 2: it was a lie for her. I was like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, I don't know if I'm ready. Oh, child,
Speaker 2: be careful when you choose ladies. If you get a
Speaker 2: big one, you never know.
Speaker 1: Yah.
Speaker 2: On that note, you never know. Let's be on baby watch.
Speaker 2: Send me your good baby vibes, all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2: I'm open about it. I'm like, I want to have
Speaker 2: a baby.
Speaker 1: Do some go, do some what you call it with
Speaker 1: the needles on your face. Oh, I'm sure not that much,
Speaker 1: not that much.
Speaker 2: I'm skidding.
Speaker 1: I mean, I just read your horoscope for Leo Libra.
Speaker 1: I think you'll be okay in that department. Everything else
Speaker 1: is let go like god, okay, but the magic of
Speaker 1: the ovaries.
Speaker 2: Right now, Jerome's like, I am out, I'm out, I'm out.
Speaker 2: All right on that note, y'all, it was awesome as usual?
Speaker 2: Was it?
Speaker 1: When I said Overi's was that it.
Speaker 2: It's like, tap it out, tap it out. We should
Speaker 2: give like we should give like a little like well,
Speaker 2: we never know sometimes if we're going to go left.
Speaker 2: Sorry Jerome, next time, I.
Speaker 1: Don't need Jerome hanging over us making us apologize to
Speaker 1: saying overy's Jerome is here. Jerome can stay if he
Speaker 1: would like to stay. If Jerome leaves, because we say overies,
Speaker 1: he doesn't deserve us. That is the true.
Speaker 2: Sure. Oh see this is where I have you around, Leo.
Speaker 2: See that's what the Libra needs.