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Speaker 1: This is John.

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Speaker 2: This is your og Okay Storytime podcast hosts, and.

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Speaker 3: We have some rockin stories for you coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before you rock out with your socks out, I

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Speaker 2: got a quick tune minute ad break from a sponsors,

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Speaker 2: keeping the show rocking and rolling.

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Speaker 3: My girlfriend is pursuing stand up comedy and I think

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Speaker 3: her humor is cruel.

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Speaker 1: Why because she's better than you.

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Speaker 3: My twenty nine male girlfriend twenty eight female has always

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Speaker 3: wanted to pursue stand up comedy. We have been together

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Speaker 3: for six years and I've been encouraging her to try

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Speaker 3: it as I think she's quite funny. Both of us

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Speaker 3: work in tech and are unreasonably well there. How is

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Speaker 3: she funny and works in tech? That doesn't add up?

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Speaker 3: She finally picked up courage to try it and started

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Speaker 3: doing some open mics recently in her free time. I

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Speaker 3: found her material to be relatively uncontroversial. By the way,

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Speaker 3: this comes from Kobe Bryant. And if you want to

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Speaker 3: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime,

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Speaker 3: Separate It Time.

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Speaker 1: Sophia and I'm Tuesday Damas and you're not.

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Speaker 2: I'm Riley and please welcome Tuesday, a comic who has

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Speaker 2: been featured on E VH one, MTV, and BBC. She's

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Speaker 2: producer and host of LA's longest running dark variety show,

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Speaker 2: Freak Show, selling out for almost five years. Give it

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Speaker 2: up for Tuesday, Thomas and to be here.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you for joining us. Tuesday's gonna help us,

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Speaker 3: give some advice and read these stories.

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Speaker 1: Yea, i'd be aware. Take my advice in your old peril.

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Speaker 3: Ohpekod to dos. Yesterday, she mentioned that she is working

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Speaker 3: on new material which involves some dark humor. Okay, so

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Speaker 3: what now. I've never seen her make dark jokes. Before,

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Speaker 3: being curious, I asked her what topics she's considering. She

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Speaker 3: said she wants to roast three groups single people on

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Speaker 3: dating apps, self made, fat people her.

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Speaker 1: Words, self made fat Papa.

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Speaker 3: And virgins over thirty. Those are very specific.

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Speaker 1: Aren't all larger people? Self made? Did somebody like force

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Speaker 1: them to rightly?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I don't understand the government the government.

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Speaker 3: I don't get that, and I guess I mean single

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Speaker 3: people on dating apps. That's kind of everyone. I mean,

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Speaker 3: unless you're cheating.

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Speaker 4: There's nothing dark or roasting. That's like every beginner comic

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Speaker 4: stupid stuff.

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Speaker 3: I was quite shocked as she's a really sweet person

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Speaker 3: and have never seen or heard her do something like this.

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Speaker 3: I heard some of the initial drafts of the jokes

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Speaker 3: and thought they were mean spirited. She claims, it's just

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Speaker 3: dark humor. She says she's also adding exceptions to avoid

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Speaker 3: unfair criticisms. Virgins over thirty are only targeted if they're

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Speaker 3: choosing to be so or just can't get laid. She's

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Speaker 3: coming after priests.

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Speaker 4: Hard talking about in cells and Disney adults.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the problem with that.

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Speaker 3: ACE folks or people with medical barriers are excluded. Bad

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Speaker 3: people only count if they're lazy her words, not genetic.

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Speaker 3: Jo'll apologize upfront for people with health conditions. Seems like

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Speaker 3: she's going to do like one of those people are

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Speaker 3: reading like all the medical.

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Speaker 1: It's like the end of a drug app.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you're or you're allergic to ACE, or you're allergic

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Speaker 4: or you have side effects. When confronted with an insult,

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Speaker 4: please don't listen to me anymore.

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Speaker 3: The single people are only mocked if they're actively on

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Speaker 3: dating apps. She says. They're begging for love and deserve

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Speaker 3: the heat. I told her this is bullying disguised as comedy,

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Speaker 3: She argues, she's punching up at people who won't improve themselves,

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Speaker 3: and that free speech means no one's safe.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh my god.

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Speaker 4: She sounds like, oh my gosh, it's like a Tamu

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Speaker 4: Joe roga.

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Speaker 3: She's like, this is the comedy the people want, not.

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Speaker 1: What they need.

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Speaker 3: When I said I'd reconsider our relationship if she pursues

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Speaker 3: this direction, she calls me oversensitive and accuse me of

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Speaker 3: stifling her creativity. Our views usually are very aligned, and

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Speaker 3: this is perhaps the first time when we disagree completely

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Speaker 3: on a topic. There is a little bit left to

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Speaker 3: this story. But do you have any final thoughts?

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Speaker 1: This is just the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

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Speaker 4: Okay, first of all, yeah, none of that is dark.

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Speaker 3: It's it's it's just not good.

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Speaker 1: It's not good.

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Speaker 4: It's hacky, it's not dark. I mean the performativeness of

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Speaker 4: him to start out with, like.

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Speaker 1: Im, I'm a male feminist. I try to support her. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: then he comes up with the beginning it's just.

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Speaker 4: If you don't stop this, I support you, But if

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Speaker 4: you don't stop it, I'm gonna leave you.

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Speaker 1: We'll just leave her. I honestly, I mean and like

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Speaker 1: her going it's my free speech.

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Speaker 4: I mean, technically it is, she could talk about whatever

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Speaker 4: she wants. The market will wash that out exactly.

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Speaker 3: It just might not work.

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Speaker 4: It's not gonna work. People are just gonna look at

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Speaker 4: her and go okay, next.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it just sounds like a really a white person problem.

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Speaker 1: To me, it's not really an issue.

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Speaker 3: No, I think that honestly, if you were a good

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Speaker 3: boyfriend or a better boyfriend, he would just tell her

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Speaker 3: that these are bad jokes. I feel like he doesn't

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Speaker 3: like I think that maybe that would be a better

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Speaker 3: angle because he doesn't have to stay with her. If

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Speaker 3: he's like, this is weird.

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Speaker 4: I think a better angle, I mean that's a good

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Speaker 4: I would be that would be a better angle. But

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Speaker 4: to me, the better angle would be did she I

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Speaker 4: want to know did she ask you your opinion on

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Speaker 4: the Joe? Because if she did not, and you're just

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Speaker 4: saying this, that's not really supportive. Yeah, like you gotta

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Speaker 4: let when somebody says I want your opinion on this,

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Speaker 4: you can give them your exact opinion. But if they're

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Speaker 4: just like, oh, listen to my sat Yeah I need somebody.

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Speaker 1: To hear this. Yeah, she didn't ask for your opinion?

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Speaker 2: Something I thought was interesting. Is he called it bullying?

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Speaker 3: Well, I think it is. It's both bad jokes and bullying.

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Speaker 3: But I like, I don't know. I think that a

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Speaker 3: lot of comics try to get away with like mean

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Speaker 3: spirited humor. What it's just not also funny, and they're like, no, no,

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Speaker 3: this is just you just don't get my humor. And

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Speaker 3: it's also just it's just bad.

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Speaker 1: Right right, I agree, I agree, you got to punch up.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: The other thing is he didn't even give one of

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Speaker 4: the jokes you just said. She's talking about these people

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Speaker 4: she's talking about, I don't even know she made fat people,

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Speaker 4: which I don't know how any other way that that works,

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Speaker 4: some of them coming from a factory somewhere.

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Speaker 3: No, I don't know what her joke is.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so I don't know. I can't judge it because

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Speaker 4: of the joke. But if she's just starting out, you know,

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Speaker 4: everybody talks about dating that people on dating apps, everybody

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Speaker 4: talks about virgins, you know, everybody. You know, when they

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Speaker 4: start out, they're just you're.

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Speaker 3: Going for anything you can get. And it feels like

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Speaker 3: he's just not attracted to bad comics. I think that's

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Speaker 3: his He's like I can't stay with you because you're

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Speaker 3: not good at this.

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Speaker 4: I think it's a lot of it. So I can't

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Speaker 4: stay with you because you might be funnier than me,

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Speaker 4: and you might get more attention than me.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's a good point.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And in the tech.

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Speaker 4: World, the men get more attention than the women, and

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Speaker 4: he might be that.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm not there.

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Speaker 2: That's a good assumption. Yeah, after this, I have some

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Speaker 2: jokes I want to know. I would like to be

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Speaker 2: a stand up comedian one day, just to give it

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Speaker 2: a shot.

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Speaker 4: Okay, So are you going to just throw them at

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Speaker 4: me or do you want my opinion on them?

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Speaker 3: Clarify?

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Speaker 2: I need to clarify.

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Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, you get it. Well, I think of op

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Speaker 3: doesn't want to be with his girlfriend, then that's you know,

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Speaker 3: that's all right?

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Speaker 4: And yeah, break up over a joke about an in

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Speaker 4: cell or a virgin and there's other things going on

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Speaker 4: there that he's looking for a reason.

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Speaker 3: I hope she finds better jokes along, you know, the

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Speaker 3: path of her.

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Speaker 1: Career, which is at a better partner.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, read it? Am I the a overdrawing this line.

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Speaker 3: Some friends agree with me. Others, including most of my

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Speaker 3: family who really love her say no topic is off

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Speaker 3: limits in comedy and I'm overacting. Could this really be

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Speaker 3: harmless fun or is she crossing into cruelty and common

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Speaker 3: one says maybe I'm wrong for this, but for me,

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Speaker 3: this doesn't seem like dark humor at all, which is

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Speaker 3: what we were saying. Ask her if she thinks the

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Speaker 3: affected parties will laugh about it too. If not, it's

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Speaker 3: not humor, it's bully replies says. When I was diagnosed

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Speaker 3: with cancer, I ate a huge handful of homemade treats

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Speaker 3: a few days later and joke to my coworkers, well,

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Speaker 3: at least it won't be the cookies that unallow me.

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Speaker 3: That's dark humor. Yeah, reply says. There's an Aussie comedian

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Speaker 3: named Adam Hill definitely not known for dark humor, except

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Speaker 3: when it comes to his own disability. He has a

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Speaker 3: prosthetic foot. But I once read an article where he

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Speaker 3: spoke about his early career. He was doing some crowd

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Speaker 3: work and at a table of butchers in the audience,

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Speaker 3: he made a joke along the lines of them being

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Speaker 3: butchers because they didn't go to university, a joke at

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Speaker 3: their expense, he said. The mood in the room changed instantly,

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Speaker 3: and he could tell he had offended them, and others

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Speaker 3: in the crowd felt bad for them. He had a

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Speaker 3: mid show break and said he thought long and hard

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Speaker 3: about how to save it. When he went back out,

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Speaker 3: he made some jokes about people buying beautiful cuts of

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Speaker 3: steak and ruining them by cooking them very well done,

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Speaker 3: and a few others along those lines went back out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess sounds like his had an intermission.

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Speaker 3: That's strange, the point being that he said he learned

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Speaker 3: a valuable lesson that night about the difference between cheeky

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Speaker 3: and dark humor that isolates some of your audience and

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Speaker 3: humor that includes them and makes them feel a part

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Speaker 3: of the joke, not the butt of it. One sours

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Speaker 3: the mood of the room and the whole show, and

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Speaker 3: the other makes the night fun for everyone, which is

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Speaker 3: the point of comedy, not the agle. Yeah. I think

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Speaker 3: that she's gonna learn, regardless of whether or not she's

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Speaker 3: with this guy. I think she's gonna learn very quickly

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Speaker 3: what humor doesn't work for the crowd.

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Speaker 1: I mean that's what you do.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, you find out what doesn't work and

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Speaker 4: this whole like Butcher thing that, again, is not dark humor.

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Speaker 4: That a joke about them becoming butchers only because they

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Speaker 4: didn't go to university is not dark humor whatsoever. That's

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Speaker 4: just attacking something exactly.

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Speaker 3: It's like, you're a moron.

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Speaker 4: Why didn't she just come out and look at them?

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Speaker 4: Oh you're butcher's you are stupid?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I know.

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Speaker 4: Dark humor is like, okay, Like, for instance, I do

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Speaker 4: jokes about my health and I've had a lot of

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Speaker 4: health problems and I had to have my eureathra reconstructed constricted,

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Speaker 4: and my bladder filled up and almost burst and killed me. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: and the joke is, you know, like I had to

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Speaker 4: have a eureathra reconstructed. I don't even know how they

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Speaker 4: do that, I really don't. I mean, for all I know,

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Speaker 4: they just put a straw up in there. But I

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Speaker 4: live in California, so it's probably a paper straw, so

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Speaker 4: it's gonna have to be redone. But yay, turtles more

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Speaker 4: dark humor than yeah, you're a butcher because you're stupid.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And I feel like you have to figure out

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Speaker 3: that line, and I think she's gonna figure it out quickly,

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Speaker 3: So yeah, I think op, you know, is right that

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Speaker 3: her humor is not going to be well received, but

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Speaker 3: maybe she's not ready to hear it.

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Speaker 4: But that's the other thing about a relationship, too, is

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Speaker 4: if you really support somebody, you let them learn their

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Speaker 4: own way. You let them go up, and you would

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Speaker 4: let her go up, you would let her fail, and

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Speaker 4: then when she fails, you come back and you're like,

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Speaker 4: that's okay, you couldn't do better.

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Speaker 1: You learn something from this? I think it is. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's a real like that's when you love somebody, that's

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Speaker 1: what you do.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I feel like, especially with comedy, it's you really

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Speaker 3: figure out where the line is because you want to

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Speaker 3: make jokes that like kind of toe the line, but

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Speaker 3: you don't know. Yeah, you don't know where it is

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Speaker 3: when you start. Common two says, these are all groups

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Speaker 3: that society looks down on. She's punching down. This is

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Speaker 3: not at all punching up. A comedian gets much more

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Speaker 3: respect when humor punches up against the powerful. Your old

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Speaker 3: friend is a sad little bully, not the ahle. You're

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Speaker 3: much better person than she is. Reply says, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 3: If single people won't get on dating apps, where exactly

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Speaker 3: should they go? Okay, well, I am totally fine with

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Speaker 3: dating apps, but to say that you can only find

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Speaker 3: people on dating.

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Speaker 4: Apps, you need to actually get out and there's the

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Speaker 4: world because they're.

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Speaker 3: Not only dating apps. Where else can I find a

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Speaker 3: person if it's not a dating app?

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Speaker 4: I mean I get guys all the time asking me out. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I live in Hollywood, and they're not really asking me out,

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Speaker 4: they're just asking me to do the nask.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't need a dating app.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean it's totally fine to use dating apps,

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Speaker 3: but it's not the only way.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like, how did your grandparents get together?

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Speaker 3: They just did it.

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Speaker 1: They were cousins.

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Speaker 3: And just because she was sleeping with anyone who will

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Speaker 3: look at her and she could, doesn't mean everyone should,

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Speaker 3: because all people get their own choice. Wait, okay that

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Speaker 3: was me.

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Speaker 1: Did I miss something there?

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Speaker 3: No, this commentary just said if single people won't get

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Speaker 3: on dating apps, where should they go? And hey, just

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Speaker 3: because she was willing to sleep with anyone who would

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Speaker 3: look at her she could, doesn't mean everyone should.

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Speaker 1: That left her.

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Speaker 3: Oh, the commenter was like, she's a freaking bully and

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Speaker 3: also she's so sloot.

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Speaker 4: Okay, she's a bully and shouldn't shame people, but I'm

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Speaker 4: gonna do her.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna shame her because.

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Speaker 3: All people get their own choice and all that people

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Speaker 3: are self made. Who do you think is politically and

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Speaker 3: so societally fattened? What? This is a weird comment, not

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Speaker 3: the a whole her joke topics need work. And if

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Speaker 3: she can't take criticism from a very very close confident

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Speaker 3: wonder what she'll do it if a set bombs.

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Speaker 4: Okay, I don't know she couldn't take the criticism or

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Speaker 4: she just disagreed with it.

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Speaker 3: That comment was crazy.

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Speaker 1: This is the thing with the internet.

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Speaker 4: Comment sounds yeah, astounds me how people read into it,

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Speaker 4: Like I didn't get from that post, No, the original

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Speaker 4: post at all about her not being able to take

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Speaker 4: the criticism, just not accepting it or agreeing with it.

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Speaker 4: And this person has got this whole scenario on their head,

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Speaker 4: like she can't take criticisms a little bit.

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Speaker 3: I think a little bit presumptuous of that commentary a

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Speaker 3: little more than a little. But that was the end

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Speaker 3: of that story.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I was just gonna say I think this. I

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Speaker 3: don't think they need to break up over this, but

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Speaker 3: I think she'll figure out pretty quickly. If she actually

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Speaker 3: does start doing comedy, Oh.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, they're going to break up anyway, even if it's

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Speaker 4: not about over her comedy. It's because comedy you have

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Speaker 4: to be out every night of the week, and he's

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Speaker 4: not going to enjoy it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I have a whole like note section in my phone

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Speaker 2: of all these jokes. They're like, like horribly bad. And

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Speaker 2: isn't it like ninety five of the jokes you think

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Speaker 2: of are bad, but like the five percent are good?

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Speaker 1: I okay, let's see.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So, so my favorite one is it was my

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Speaker 2: rock one oh Rock meet hard Place. My pet rock

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Speaker 2: hates it when I say that, I think it it

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Speaker 2: was supposed to be like I f my rock, you know,

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Speaker 2: I like, do do bad things to my rock?

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Speaker 3: What?

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Speaker 4: Yeah you got If that's where you were going for,

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Speaker 4: you need to Yeah, you need a little more work

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Speaker 4: on that one.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, I didn't get that at all.

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Speaker 2: Okay, good to know.

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Speaker 4: If in your set beforehand you told other jokes where

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Speaker 4: you refer to your another world as you're a hard

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Speaker 4: place you get to set it up, then that joke

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Speaker 4: might work, But on its own like that, it does not.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that's what I'm missing. See, this is perfect, this

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Speaker 2: is a great workshop. Oh my gosh. My problem with

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Speaker 2: drug addicts is that they just don't have a budget.

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Speaker 2: And if they had a budget, they wouldn't be living

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Speaker 2: on the streets.

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Speaker 1: Are all drug addicts living on the street?

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Speaker 2: I would say some, Yeah, some, but the ones that

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Speaker 2: aren't have a budget.

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Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, I don't get that one either.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, that's okay.

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Speaker 3: This is.

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Speaker 4: For I used to have, like one of the first

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Speaker 4: one of my early jokes was like, you know, my

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Speaker 4: mother always told me, when you know, when somebody offers

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Speaker 4: you draw a stranger offers your drugs, you just look

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Speaker 4: at them and you say thank.

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Speaker 1: You, because drugs are really expensive. That's what I think.

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Speaker 4: But like no budget thing, I don't know where that

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Speaker 4: comes in. Okay, I mean because if they can, yeah,

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Speaker 4: they don't care about it budget. If they're on drugs,

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Speaker 4: they care about the drug.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good point. Okay, then they should care

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Speaker 2: about money more than right, so they can get more drugs.

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Speaker 1: Oh, they'll find a way, honey.

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Speaker 3: We're getting there. We're getting there.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'll keep work shopping and you got another one.

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Speaker 3: We got to do it and rule that's true, that's comedy.

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Speaker 2: I was talking to my friend the other night. Do

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Speaker 2: you know who Kendrick Lamar is. I don't like him

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Speaker 2: because he's never excited about anything, Like have you ever

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Speaker 2: seen him smile before?

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: No, that was a whole bit, and I just went

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Speaker 2: on about like he does music videos and he's like

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Speaker 2: and he looks like he doesn't want to be there,

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Speaker 2: he wants to leave.

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Speaker 3: But where's the twist.

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Speaker 2: You have to have a twist.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like like what.

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Speaker 4: You're giving us our premisest. Yeah, there's no punches, there's

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Speaker 4: sat ups are premises, you know, Like I've seen a

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Speaker 4: lot of rappers that just have that luck on their face.

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Speaker 4: I mean, the only time I really saw Kanye laugh

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Speaker 4: was when he was like in that weird I don't

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Speaker 4: remember the song. It was weird gumbay looking suit with

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Speaker 4: what's his name?

383
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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, was it six nine or who?

384
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Speaker 3: I remember?

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Speaker 1: And he was like.

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Speaker 3: It was like insane, that's frightening. Yeah, it was very scary.

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Speaker 3: That's the end of Riley's joke session.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I gotta find the punchline in these.

389
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Speaker 3: He's working on them.

390
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Speaker 1: He'll get there.

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Speaker 3: But we've got yeah or that's your at the end

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Speaker 3: of your career. But we've got some fan questions for you.

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Speaker 3: And this one's from the Tomlet who says, I'm a

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Speaker 3: smart alec with a dark sense of humor and ce

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Speaker 3: PTSD and a disability. I have a hard time making

396
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Speaker 3: friends iral I've gotten to where I basically just stay

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Speaker 3: isolated all the time due to lack of income, but

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Speaker 3: also so I don't have to deal with the disappointment

399
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Speaker 3: and heartache of the betrayal and or loss of yet

400
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Speaker 3: another friend. Yes, I'm in therapy. It doesn't help. I

401
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Speaker 3: live in a rural area that's very conservative. When I'm

402
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Speaker 3: not online, seems to be one of the few places

403
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Speaker 3: I can find welcoming communities for people like me. How

404
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,240
Speaker 3: can I find friendship in the real world without spending

405
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Speaker 3: a lot of money in expensive hobbies, travel, or moving,

406
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Speaker 3: And that is the question for you.

407
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Speaker 1: I have CP test too.

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Speaker 4: I have a lot of crap going on, and I've

409
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Speaker 4: overcome it. There's a documentary money like, I'm going to

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Speaker 4: throw it out there. It's The Trash Goes On on Tuesday.

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Speaker 4: It's on tub But I do think that you can't

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Speaker 4: just stay home. You have to find something. You have

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Speaker 4: to find something. I don't know where the rural area is,

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Speaker 4: if it's near a city, if you can get there

415
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Speaker 4: on a bus, or if there's a museum in this

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00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:30,159
Speaker 4: you know, and all that stuff that you need to

417
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Speaker 4: go out and you need to just because you have

418
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Speaker 4: CPST and you're worried about betrayal and stuff. Don't go

419
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Speaker 4: out with the whole mindset of like I'm going to.

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Speaker 1: Find a friend. I need a friend.

421
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Speaker 4: You're just going to go out with the mindset of

422
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Speaker 4: I'm going to watch people, I'm going to see an

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Speaker 4: art show. I'm going to you know, go to and

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Speaker 4: have coffee outside in a cafe and say hi to people. Yeah,

425
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:58,520
Speaker 4: you know, don't set yourself up for failure because if

426
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Speaker 4: you're like I need a friend, I'm going to go

427
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Speaker 4: find a friend. That takes time, and you're setting yourself

428
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Speaker 4: up and when that person does not become the friend

429
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Speaker 4: that you've envisioned them to be because they can't because

430
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Speaker 4: they are who they are, you're going to be sad

431
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Speaker 4: and you're going to go back in that well, I

432
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Speaker 4: can't find a friend because I feel big trade. It's like, well,

433
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Speaker 4: you are setting up the scenario.

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Speaker 3: So you be trades tap the mindset. Yeah, it's that

435
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Speaker 3: really important.

436
00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:27,160
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, and it's hard, especially when you have mental

437
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:30,440
Speaker 4: health issues. Absolutely, and just you know, make fun of yourself.

438
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:32,600
Speaker 4: You laugh at yourself. Life is short.

439
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:34,720
Speaker 3: You don't have to be so serious when you're going out. Yeah.

440
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,919
Speaker 4: Yeah, don't find yourself between a rock and his another reasons,

441
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Speaker 4: you know.

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Speaker 3: We go to call that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, see there you are right, Y, I'm learning.

444
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:50,280
Speaker 3: But we've got another fan question from Robin who says, I,

445
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:54,000
Speaker 3: forty four female don't have relationships because I don't trust

446
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,680
Speaker 3: people due to past trauma and social anxiety. Well, could

447
00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,520
Speaker 3: I do to slowly get back into society and or

448
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:03,800
Speaker 3: not be too invested in a relationship and just enjoy company.

449
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,159
Speaker 1: You just answered your own question. Just enjoy the company.

450
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,520
Speaker 4: You don't set yourself up, or just go out and

451
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:11,919
Speaker 4: you know, have dinner with some friends or meet new people,

452
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:15,520
Speaker 4: and don't expect anything from anybody. People can only give

453
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:18,240
Speaker 4: you what they're capable of, and things happen organically. That

454
00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:21,240
Speaker 4: was always my problem in relationship is I always wanted

455
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:24,080
Speaker 4: something to happen organically, and it seemed like people would

456
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:27,199
Speaker 4: push for something. And now organically does not mean it

457
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:31,000
Speaker 4: takes forever. Organically could mean it happens like this because

458
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,320
Speaker 4: you feel it, you both feel it, you're both into it.

459
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,440
Speaker 4: Or organically could mean that you start out of as

460
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,679
Speaker 4: a friend and you have coffee and then you go

461
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,439
Speaker 4: out to dinner or you go you know, hiking, running

462
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,160
Speaker 4: canyon or whatever you do, and then all of a sudden,

463
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,040
Speaker 4: you know, a couple of years later, one day you're like,

464
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:46,840
Speaker 4: oh my god.

465
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:47,240
Speaker 1: I love you.

466
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, my boyfriend was my friend for like seven months before. Lease.

467
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:52,080
Speaker 1: Yeah that's organic.

468
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:55,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, but again, organic can happen to media,

469
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:58,439
Speaker 4: or it can take time. You just you can't expect things.

470
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:01,000
Speaker 4: I've always gone in because of the I've had a

471
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:04,000
Speaker 4: really hard life, and I've learned that one of the

472
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:06,720
Speaker 4: things you do is you don't go in and expecting much.

473
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,800
Speaker 4: You just go in and I'm here, let's have a

474
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:12,240
Speaker 4: good time. If you don't get anything out of it,

475
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:15,639
Speaker 4: number one, you're not disappointed. Number Two, you leave with

476
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:18,040
Speaker 4: what you started with, which was nothing. So you've lost

477
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:21,840
Speaker 4: absolutely nothing. Yeah, I think you have nothing everything to gain.

478
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:25,320
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think viewing just everything as a new experience

479
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:29,240
Speaker 3: super helpful because you haven't lost anything, You've just gained another.

480
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:29,639
Speaker 1: Experience, right.

481
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:31,760
Speaker 4: You ever take a dog to the dog park or

482
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,400
Speaker 4: the park and you know that they're there every day,

483
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,880
Speaker 4: but they're running around like it's a whole new experience.

484
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:39,119
Speaker 1: Like, oh what's this? Oh my god that I've snipped

485
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:41,440
Speaker 1: a hundred times is brand new to me kind of

486
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:47,840
Speaker 1: approach a dog park. You mentioned hard places. Oh gosh, sorry,

487
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,280
Speaker 1: I'm not going to let that go. I can't.

488
00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:50,440
Speaker 3: You have to do a more time.

489
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:55,080
Speaker 2: You mentioned meeting new people. What's like one of your

490
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 2: favorite ways to meet new people.

491
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:59,359
Speaker 4: I say hi to everybody everywhere wherever I'm at. My

492
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,720
Speaker 4: mother was at, my sister and my brother used to

493
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,679
Speaker 4: get so upset because we'd be in line at the

494
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,919
Speaker 4: store or the bank or whatever. My mother was talking

495
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 4: to somebody and they're like, you don't know that person.

496
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,480
Speaker 4: Well I do now, and I was. I inherited that

497
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:14,959
Speaker 4: from her. So I'm locking my dog and I'm like, Hi,

498
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:18,080
Speaker 4: how are you? Sometimes people say hi to me. Sometimes

499
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:21,160
Speaker 4: they go it's all right, they don't need to, They're

500
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,640
Speaker 4: not obligated to me. I mean, I just moved into

501
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:26,640
Speaker 4: a new neighborhood and already people are like, oh my God,

502
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,840
Speaker 4: I've been there four months and I just saw somebody

503
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 4: the other day go, I haven't seen you in a while,

504
00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:31,200
Speaker 4: and I'm thinking.

505
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,920
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, it's only been four months. Yea, I lived there.

506
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:35,240
Speaker 1: But you know, but that's what you do.

507
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,400
Speaker 4: That's how you meet new people. And you just talk

508
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,200
Speaker 4: to the cashier at the grocery store.

509
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:41,439
Speaker 3: Or one of my best friends is a person like

510
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,840
Speaker 3: works at a bagel shop that I go to all

511
00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:46,320
Speaker 3: the time, and I met her through just talking to

512
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:47,520
Speaker 3: her at the bagelistic store.

513
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:50,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, it works, and you never know who one of them,

514
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,080
Speaker 4: you know. It might just be that every time you

515
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:54,440
Speaker 4: walk into the store, everybody knows you. It's like, Hi,

516
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:56,960
Speaker 4: how are you. Or it might be one time somebody says,

517
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:58,840
Speaker 4: you know what, I got extra tickets to this and

518
00:21:58,880 --> 00:21:59,800
Speaker 4: we were talking about this.

519
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:00,680
Speaker 1: You like to go.

520
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,240
Speaker 3: You just have to be open to experiences.

521
00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it has to be real, you know, you can't,

522
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:06,720
Speaker 4: like I think in this day and age, because I

523
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:08,880
Speaker 4: don't know if it's because of the Internet or it's

524
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,879
Speaker 4: an instant gratification thing that came you know, in like

525
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:15,240
Speaker 4: the eighties or where it comes from. People are just

526
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:18,000
Speaker 4: so I gotta have this right now. It's like, no,

527
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,919
Speaker 4: do you really Yeah, you think you do, but you

528
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:21,800
Speaker 4: can wait for it.

529
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:22,439
Speaker 1: It'll happen.

530
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:23,240
Speaker 3: Absolutely No.

531
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:25,880
Speaker 4: I mean it's that in the moment thing, because when

532
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,640
Speaker 4: you're too focused on I need this friendship.

533
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,600
Speaker 1: I need this relationship. I need to get.

534
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:35,680
Speaker 4: You know this, You're not seeing what's around you. I'm

535
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,080
Speaker 4: just waiting for whatever this receipt machine thing is to

536
00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:39,480
Speaker 4: pop out of Riley's mouth.

537
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:41,880
Speaker 3: You know, I don't know what that is about.

538
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:42,400
Speaker 1: I'm in the.

539
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:44,960
Speaker 4: Moment noticing those things that I'm talking to you, and

540
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 4: I think that's to me, that's sort of the beauty

541
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:47,400
Speaker 4: of life.

542
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,840
Speaker 1: Flies is right now, what's happening to you?

543
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:50,959
Speaker 3: That was a great answer.

544
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:51,600
Speaker 1: Well, thank you.

545
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:55,000
Speaker 3: Comfortable meet two nine and three nine, who says, am

546
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,640
Speaker 3: I the a hole for finding the humor in my trauma?

547
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:02,320
Speaker 3: So no, yeah, yeah. So I went through some personal

548
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 3: issues with a strange family member. I'm really not comfortable

549
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 3: going into details on here. My friends who supported me

550
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 3: through this, and I make jokes about it. This is

551
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:12,400
Speaker 3: comforting for me. I find the humor in the mistakes

552
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:14,639
Speaker 3: that were made not just by me, but by this

553
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:17,440
Speaker 3: other family member. I was finally able to start dating

554
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,560
Speaker 3: again recently, and my boyfriend is very supportive. I told

555
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:22,720
Speaker 3: him about this trauma and my story made him a

556
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,920
Speaker 3: little uncomfortable, as expected, but he still stood by me,

557
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,159
Speaker 3: and I super appreciate him for that. When I make

558
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,399
Speaker 3: jokes about it, like if we're watching TV together and

559
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 3: a similar situation comes up, and I would say something

560
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:35,400
Speaker 3: like I'd say that's weird, but I'm not one to talk,

561
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:38,200
Speaker 3: or something along those lines and then laugh it off,

562
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,879
Speaker 3: he gets annoyed and says, it's not something to joke about.

563
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,480
Speaker 3: It's my trauma I'm making fun of, not his. This

564
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 3: is my coping mechanism. I've tried explaining this to him,

565
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,240
Speaker 3: but he says my jokes make him uncomfortable. I have

566
00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:52,120
Speaker 3: refrained from joking about it since I've only ever made

567
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,679
Speaker 3: two jokes in front of him and basically pretend like

568
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:56,960
Speaker 3: my trauma never happened in front of him now because

569
00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,159
Speaker 3: I'm uncomfortable even showing and any thoughts of this in

570
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 3: front of him because I don't want to make him uncomfortable.

571
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:04,760
Speaker 3: Am I the ale for making fun of my own

572
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:06,960
Speaker 3: situation in front of my boyfriend?

573
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:07,760
Speaker 1: No note at all.

574
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:11,440
Speaker 4: But there's a caveat there? Are you doing it constantly,

575
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 4: That's what I was wondering, Yeah, because I have some

576
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:18,200
Speaker 4: people that I know that have issues every time something

577
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 4: similar is brought up in another way or they see

578
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,919
Speaker 4: it on TV or saying, oh yeah, I have to

579
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 4: do that and it's because of it. And it's like,

580
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,440
Speaker 4: you can make fun of yourself, that's fine, But if

581
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,879
Speaker 4: that's what you're constantly doing, you know, you're kind of

582
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:36,639
Speaker 4: bringing attention to your trauma. And that shows me. And

583
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:40,399
Speaker 4: I'm not a therapist, yeah, you know, I'm just playing

584
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:44,240
Speaker 4: one here right now. To me, tells me that you

585
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:49,160
Speaker 4: haven't really healed from it because to make good jokes

586
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 4: and laugh about it, you're not doing it constantly. And

587
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,400
Speaker 4: that is a healthy thing to do. But if you're

588
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 4: bringing it up every time, like okay, so, like I'm

589
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 4: trying to pick something and I can't pick something right now.

590
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,919
Speaker 4: Like let's say, you know, your your trauma was, you know,

591
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:08,879
Speaker 4: an abusive father. So every time you see some man

592
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 4: on TV that's yelling at their kids and you're like, yeah,

593
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:15,240
Speaker 4: well that wasn't as bad as my dad, you know, that's.

594
00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:15,880
Speaker 3: A little awkward.

595
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:19,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, you haven't really healed from it, and you're masking

596
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 4: and you're pushing it down stuff. There has to be

597
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:25,920
Speaker 4: a medium, middle of the road, whatever the words are.

598
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 3: I think it also could be difficult for people who

599
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:34,240
Speaker 3: have never been in those situations to understand because obviously

600
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:37,200
Speaker 3: that's what your boyfriend is going through, because to him

601
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:40,359
Speaker 3: it's just a negative experience, right, he has gone through it,

602
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 3: so it's just negative, and he's not dealing with it,

603
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:45,800
Speaker 3: so he doesn't have like the he doesn't associate humor

604
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:47,679
Speaker 3: with it. So yeah, I think it just can be

605
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 3: awkward to hear and know.

606
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:51,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean if you just bring it up once

607
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:53,920
Speaker 4: in a while and you make it and again if

608
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 4: you make a joke about it. Yeah, these comments are

609
00:25:57,359 --> 00:25:59,160
Speaker 4: saying I'm making light of it.

610
00:25:59,320 --> 00:25:59,720
Speaker 3: I don't.

611
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 1: You're the joke.

612
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 4: So I can't really tell. Are they really making a joke?

613
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 4: Going back to my urethrom the straw thing that's act

614
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:09,879
Speaker 4: an actual joke made from it. Yeah, you know, Like

615
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 4: you know, I had a very abusive relationship my hut

616
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:16,480
Speaker 4: an ex husband, and it was I got stocked for years.

617
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 4: But I'm like, you know, after I divorced him, I

618
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:23,040
Speaker 4: found out all these things. You know, he did drugs,

619
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,399
Speaker 4: you know, he cheated on me he was into S

620
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:25,840
Speaker 4: and M.

621
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 1: Did know any of that.

622
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 4: I wish when we were married he had told me

623
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,680
Speaker 4: he was in S and M into sn M because

624
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:33,720
Speaker 4: in retrospect, I would have liked to beat the hell.

625
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,159
Speaker 1: Out of him once in a while. I'm making a

626
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:39,560
Speaker 1: joke of that, you know situation. That's an actual joke,

627
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:41,800
Speaker 1: Thank you, Riley. That's dark humor.

628
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:43,920
Speaker 3: I was waiting for it.

629
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:46,359
Speaker 1: That's dark humor right there.

630
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:49,200
Speaker 4: But that making a joke of it, and its opposed

631
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,080
Speaker 4: to like, yeah, she didn't have it as bad as

632
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:52,480
Speaker 4: I had.

633
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:56,679
Speaker 1: I just like, that's not that's making light of it,

634
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:58,119
Speaker 1: but really joking.

635
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:01,320
Speaker 3: Yeah no. And also but she said, or like this

636
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:04,720
Speaker 3: person said, I don't feel comfortable even showing any of

637
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:06,040
Speaker 3: these thoughts in front of them because I don't want

638
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,720
Speaker 3: to make them comfortable. I don't I wonder easy and

639
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 3: comfortable with you ever mentioning anything about your past, because

640
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,080
Speaker 3: that is not okay. Like I feel like as partners,

641
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 3: you should be able to talk about some of that

642
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:18,919
Speaker 3: or you know a lot of that or is he

643
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:20,760
Speaker 3: just uncomfortable with the jokes? I feel like there's a

644
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 3: difference there.

645
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:24,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's a difference. And also It's very funny to

646
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 4: me that some of these posts are like, I have

647
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:31,119
Speaker 4: a partner that i'm very that's very supportive of me.

648
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:34,680
Speaker 1: But then I can't do this. I'm like, are they supportive?

649
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:39,880
Speaker 3: Not quite supportive? Yeah, I just don't know the yeah relationship.

650
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:43,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, the dynamic there to see if you're And also

651
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:47,840
Speaker 4: there's no way we should always be just because somebody

652
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:50,680
Speaker 4: doesn't want to hear something a few times to dis

653
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 4: count them from because a lot of times what we'll

654
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,199
Speaker 4: do is like somebody will be like it's hard for

655
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:56,680
Speaker 4: me to hear yeah, and you'll be like.

656
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 1: I'll never talk about it again.

657
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 4: Then yeah, it's like defense though over are you? Is

658
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:03,440
Speaker 4: this person getting defensive?

659
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:03,920
Speaker 1: I don't know.

660
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:07,879
Speaker 3: But we've got another question from Patch Medicine, who asks,

661
00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:10,480
Speaker 3: am I the a hole for telling my transitioning friend

662
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:14,040
Speaker 3: she's giving me TMI? And they say. I met Connor

663
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:16,720
Speaker 3: freshman year of college. He was another dude in my major,

664
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 3: and we had similar interests and a similar sense of humor,

665
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 3: so we became friends pretty fast. We were never close

666
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:25,359
Speaker 3: enough to room together or anything, but we would get

667
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 3: food together, usually once a week after a shared class,

668
00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 3: to just talk and hang out. Fast forward to January

669
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:32,880
Speaker 3: twenty twenty four and Connor comes out at his trance

670
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 3: saying that he would now like to be called Greta

671
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 3: and identifies as female. To say I was shocked is

672
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:41,120
Speaker 3: an understatement. Greta never seemed to have issues with her

673
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 3: birth gender, but I'm not an expert, so I guess

674
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 3: I never saw the signs. It was especially strange for

675
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 3: me when she started wearing more feminine clothes and make up.

676
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 3: My surprise aside, I'm a whatever floats your boat kind

677
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:55,040
Speaker 3: of person, so as long as Greta was happy, that

678
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 3: was good enough for me. Of course, Greta and I

679
00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 3: kept our lunch hanging out habits, but it's gone from

680
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 3: us to time talking about a multitude of different topics

681
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:05,960
Speaker 3: like current events, hobbies, and topics from our major to

682
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 3: just want her transition. This isn't the problem, obviously, this

683
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 3: is a huge change in her life, and so I

684
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,160
Speaker 3: kind of expected this. What is the problem, however, is

685
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 3: the past few weeks she has started to get very

686
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:21,760
Speaker 3: specific and explicit in the spicy side of her transition,

687
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 3: sharing extremely intimate details about her spicy habits and events

688
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 3: with her partners, stuff that I frankly, don't want to

689
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 3: hear from any of my friends. I tried to steer

690
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 3: the conversation away from this kind of thing, but Greta

691
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 3: would never take the hint, and even if I would

692
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 3: say to her, the topic is starting to make me uncomfortable,

693
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:43,600
Speaker 3: she would respond with a relax, it's fine, we're friends. Finally,

694
00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:46,360
Speaker 3: last week I had enough after she told me in

695
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 3: excruciating detail about some oral, spicy stuff she had given

696
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,800
Speaker 3: I raised my voice and told Greta that sharing that

697
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 3: much detail is gross and I don't want to hear

698
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 3: that much from my friends. She flipped out in response,

699
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 3: calling me transphobe and stating that we talked about relationships

700
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 3: in the past when she was male, and I never

701
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 3: had a problem. I agreed we had talked about relationships

702
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 3: in the past, but that was in a non spicy

703
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 3: manner about dates, who we were talking to, or drama.

704
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 3: I told her I would be happy to talk about

705
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:17,720
Speaker 3: her dating life in that manner. She again called me

706
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:20,040
Speaker 3: transphobic and said this is a part of me now

707
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:22,360
Speaker 3: and if you can't accept it, we can't be friends.

708
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:25,880
Speaker 3: I responded with, I guess we can't beg yeah, and

709
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,479
Speaker 3: walked away. My friend group is divided on if I

710
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:31,240
Speaker 3: was being unreasonable. So I am here to ask Reddit.

711
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 3: Am I the a hole? Hey it's Sam.

712
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 1: We can get back to the stories. But here's three

713
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors. No.

714
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 3: I don't think so either.

715
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,760
Speaker 4: No, because there's a there's a lot to unpack here, Yeah,

716
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,200
Speaker 4: a lot to unpack. First of all, this person is,

717
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:49,960
Speaker 4: you know, I'm I'm trans This person is what was

718
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,560
Speaker 4: forty some years ago in the dark age, just when

719
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 4: I transition, but what I call a new hire.

720
00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:58,240
Speaker 3: Okay, they haven't.

721
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:00,120
Speaker 1: They haven't got the lay of the office yet. I

722
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 1: don't know what's happening.

723
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,560
Speaker 3: We got to give him some grapes, you know, let

724
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:04,880
Speaker 3: it go.

725
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 4: I mean, but also I get that, and I get

726
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 4: that they're excited that they're finally able to live their truth.

727
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:11,400
Speaker 1: Trans beeve high in it.

728
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:15,520
Speaker 4: Well, so that's why he never saw the signs because

729
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 4: it wasn't looking for them.

730
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 1: And but I get all that.

731
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 4: I also totally understand where he's coming from of not

732
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:26,520
Speaker 4: wanting to hear the spicy side and seeing that, and

733
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:29,160
Speaker 4: it's you know, I just want to know how did

734
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 4: they get on that subject, because it's.

735
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 1: Like, oh, my god, you know they're there, what you know?

736
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 1: And and did they say they were in college?

737
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:38,120
Speaker 4: I think they're in college yet, Yeah, so that they

738
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:39,880
Speaker 4: go to the like you know, yeah, they're going to

739
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:41,880
Speaker 4: like get the dining hall and all of a sudden like,

740
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 4: oh god, I hate these waffles. Well, you know I

741
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,520
Speaker 4: slept from how does that come up?

742
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 3: Well, I think he's like, WHOA, I didn't.

743
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:55,600
Speaker 4: I wasn't asking, And it's not it's a boundary issue too, because.

744
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:58,440
Speaker 3: He specifically said I don't like I don't feel comfortable hearing.

745
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:01,880
Speaker 4: So you can't fault somebody for setting a boundary. And

746
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 4: just because you're comfortable with something doesn't mean other people

747
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 4: are and it doesn't mean the dynamic has changed because,

748
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:10,520
Speaker 4: like you said, we didn't talk when we were talking

749
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 4: about our dates in a pre transition. It wasn't about

750
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:17,880
Speaker 4: the spicier stuff. So I get that one hundred percent.

751
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 4: I have a lot of polyamorous and different friends and stuff,

752
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:24,640
Speaker 4: and we talk about a lot of different things. I've

753
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:28,479
Speaker 4: had questions about polyamory or you know, the different things

754
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:31,120
Speaker 4: that are into in my life. I've explored s and

755
00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:33,760
Speaker 4: m's not for me. I've explored different things like that.

756
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 4: But I'm also very uncomfortable talking deeply too much about

757
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:42,240
Speaker 4: sex because I was forced into sex work at a

758
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:44,920
Speaker 4: young age. Sex is transactional for me, and that's something

759
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,200
Speaker 4: I've had to work through and heal, so I can

760
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:50,400
Speaker 4: understand why somebody would be uncomfortable with that. Instead of

761
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:54,400
Speaker 4: boundary just because you're your friend, yeah, it doesn't mean

762
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:56,360
Speaker 4: that you can talk about anything. And just because you're

763
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 4: into these new things that are making you happy, yeah,

764
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:00,840
Speaker 4: there's a ways to talk about it too, Like, I,

765
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 4: oh my god, I had so much fun on a

766
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 4: date the other night.

767
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:06,400
Speaker 1: Would you like it's a little erotic? Do you want

768
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:06,640
Speaker 1: to hear?

769
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:09,200
Speaker 3: Kind of leader like, is it too much?

770
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 1: And I'd be like, well, you know what, tell me,

771
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 1: But I don't really want to get into the details

772
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 1: of it.

773
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 4: Yeah you know, but I want as your friend to like, yeah,

774
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,120
Speaker 4: experience your happiness.

775
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 1: I'm happy for you.

776
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:21,720
Speaker 3: Yeah. No. I Also, I actually was having a conversation

777
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 3: with my boyfriend recently and.

778
00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:27,800
Speaker 4: That's definitely not transpher I am so over the new

779
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 4: hire saying that everything's transphobic.

780
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 3: I think there's a defensiveness there. Yeah, there's like she's

781
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:35,800
Speaker 3: like come out and is like are you saying that

782
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 3: you don't like me as a person? And I think

783
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:40,240
Speaker 3: there's just like that that defensive right, you know, I'm

784
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 3: just going to push you away before you even get

785
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:42,200
Speaker 3: a chance.

786
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:43,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't like me.

787
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:46,000
Speaker 4: Now that means you don't like me as a trans person.

788
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 4: You don't like And it's like, no, that's how that works.

789
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:51,320
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I was talking about my boyfriend about this

790
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 3: and not this, but you're having conversation about like how

791
00:33:55,320 --> 00:34:00,200
Speaker 3: male friendships and like non male friendships talk about like

792
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:03,560
Speaker 3: spicy encounters. I was saying that I tend to be

793
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:06,480
Speaker 3: like in my friends tend to be very open and

794
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:10,359
Speaker 3: very like detailed often not like with everything, but like

795
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:14,120
Speaker 3: we tend to be much more open about spicier stuff.

796
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:17,040
Speaker 3: And he was like, I I wouldn't say that I

797
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,800
Speaker 3: do that at all with my male friends. And I

798
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:23,359
Speaker 3: think maybe, like I'm wondering if that was Ope's kind

799
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:27,839
Speaker 3: of experience. And then like when his friend came out,

800
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 3: she perhaps like has a friend group that is now

801
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 3: more like open talking about that, and then things such

802
00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 3: as translates.

803
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 4: Right, and also when you're coming into like somebody exploring

804
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:40,239
Speaker 4: a new sexuality, there's probably things like toys and yeah,

805
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 4: equipment and things that that may not have experience. Yeah,

806
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:48,920
Speaker 4: and different maybe there's different hard places on different people

807
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,160
Speaker 4: in different areas than he's used to.

808
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, so yeah, you know it can be jarring.

809
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:56,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, wait no, no, no, let's go what do you

810
00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 2: what all you guys talk about.

811
00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:00,360
Speaker 3: Like when you like, I wouldn't say it's super common

812
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 3: when you're like you're dating someone for a while, but

813
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:05,239
Speaker 3: I do think that like when you first start going

814
00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:08,400
Speaker 3: on dates with people or it's like you're you're seeing people.

815
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:12,440
Speaker 3: I would say, like in my experience, like female friendships

816
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 3: like tend to be very very open about like all

817
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 3: of that. And I've had that with like like people

818
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:18,239
Speaker 3: that I don't know.

819
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:20,879
Speaker 4: Close friends, I'm not I mean, I don't know her well.

820
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:23,520
Speaker 4: I don't know her well enough to like be able

821
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:25,399
Speaker 4: to talk that way to her. Yeah, I think if

822
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:27,480
Speaker 4: we knew each other for a while, I'd feel comfortable.

823
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:30,279
Speaker 4: But you have a certain close group of friends where

824
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:33,320
Speaker 4: you're just like, yeah, that was really something.

825
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 1: I Mean I rode that river four or five times.

826
00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:39,640
Speaker 3: I feel like you do, like you say, I was.

827
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,280
Speaker 4: There, Yeah, you know, I was up at Point Doom

828
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:43,120
Speaker 4: on the surfboard.

829
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:47,759
Speaker 3: Just I feel like there is a certain openness that

830
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:51,520
Speaker 3: I have recently learned is not the same and like

831
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:53,719
Speaker 3: male friend groups, which I'm not going to like say,

832
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:56,319
Speaker 3: is the true for everyone, but seems to be like

833
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,120
Speaker 3: a little bit of a difference. And I'm wondering if

834
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:00,160
Speaker 3: he's like, WHOA.

835
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I think the friend group thing between male

836
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:05,600
Speaker 4: and female is a little different. I think guys where

837
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:07,759
Speaker 4: the close friends might not talk about it a lot,

838
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:09,360
Speaker 4: but like if they're in a locker room, they're going

839
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:11,040
Speaker 4: to joke about it, which is to them is not

840
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:12,800
Speaker 4: really talking about it. It's making jokes.

841
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:14,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, like the girls are.

842
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:17,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, the girls aren't talking about it in the big groups.

843
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 4: We're talking about it with two or three of our friends.

844
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:22,520
Speaker 3: Oh gain, I'm starting. In the same conversation with my boyfriend,

845
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:23,880
Speaker 3: he was like, well, I feel like a lot of

846
00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:26,759
Speaker 3: men have this connotation of like locker room talking. You

847
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:29,360
Speaker 3: don't want that towards you, so you're not going to

848
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:32,480
Speaker 3: talk about it at all for like non men, you

849
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:35,719
Speaker 3: aren't talking about it in a disrespectful way.

850
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:36,120
Speaker 1: Usually.

851
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:38,200
Speaker 3: It's just like this is what happened to me, and

852
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:39,880
Speaker 3: as is how I felt about it.

853
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:40,879
Speaker 2: It's like informative.

854
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:43,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's yeah.

855
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:45,799
Speaker 2: This is crazy. I've always avoided it because I didn't

856
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 2: want to be come up as disrespect.

857
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:49,160
Speaker 4: Well yeah, I think I think you avoided talking to

858
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:52,040
Speaker 4: other guys about it. You're avoided talking about it altogether

859
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:52,880
Speaker 4: or like that.

860
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:55,640
Speaker 2: I'm a little confused, Like I guess, to be real,

861
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:58,279
Speaker 2: I would avoid talking about it all in general, and

862
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:01,479
Speaker 2: then over time I finally got the courage of like, hey,

863
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:04,239
Speaker 2: so with my partner now Angie, I'm like, hey, so

864
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 2: this was cool.

865
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:08,160
Speaker 3: Oh you like yeah, even even with Angie, Yeah.

866
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:09,919
Speaker 2: I wouldn't even talk to her about it. That was fun.

867
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:10,520
Speaker 2: High five.

868
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:12,799
Speaker 4: I don't know you that well, but you did make

869
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,719
Speaker 4: a comment coming in about how your parents saying at

870
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 4: different churches and stuff.

871
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:17,319
Speaker 1: Yeah.

872
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:19,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, so that you come from a somewhat of a

873
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:23,360
Speaker 4: religious background. So that doesn't surprise me at all because

874
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:25,880
Speaker 4: it's very constrictive, it's very you know.

875
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, uh that we'd just went out of my head.

876
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:30,840
Speaker 1: But so that I get you.

877
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:33,799
Speaker 4: Also, I think a lot of times people friends of

878
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,360
Speaker 4: mine say, I broke up with this guy because you know,

879
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:38,239
Speaker 4: he just didn't give me what I wanted sexual for

880
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:39,799
Speaker 4: your stuff and I'm like, well, did you tell him

881
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:40,360
Speaker 4: what you wanted?

882
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 1: Well, no, I didn't know who would do that. Yeah,

883
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:43,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, how is he gonna know?

884
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:46,279
Speaker 4: It's gotta be communication, Okay, Yeah, I mean if it

885
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:47,759
Speaker 4: was psychic, he would have given it to you.

886
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:48,600
Speaker 1: Obviously he's not.

887
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:50,799
Speaker 3: Psychic because he didn't give it to you until you

888
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:51,200
Speaker 3: gonna know.

889
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:51,719
Speaker 4: Yeah.

890
00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:55,600
Speaker 3: I do think communication is super important, and I think, yeah,

891
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 3: I think that's perhaps why there is more communication with

892
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 3: like like non male friend groups, because it's like, is

893
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:02,480
Speaker 3: this okay, what are you guys like you're getting like

894
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:05,200
Speaker 3: it's like your little uh like forum of like, well,

895
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:06,480
Speaker 3: what do you think about that?

896
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:07,359
Speaker 2: That's good to know.

897
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:09,719
Speaker 3: But we've got another story.

898
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:10,960
Speaker 1: I think stories.

899
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:15,040
Speaker 3: I ran away from home and I would never apologize

900
00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:15,400
Speaker 3: about it.

901
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:18,319
Speaker 1: About it, Okay, Gerl you go, you can go. You're

902
00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:19,400
Speaker 1: proud of yourself.

903
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:22,439
Speaker 3: When I twenty three, Mail was sixteen, I ran away

904
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 3: from home and my parents and sister. There was a

905
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:27,760
Speaker 3: lot going on at home and it wasn't a healthy environment.

906
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:30,240
Speaker 3: My sister had mental health issues since she was young,

907
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 3: and her behavior was worsening and police involvement was increasing.

908
00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:37,440
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from nine months ago running

909
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:39,879
Speaker 3: on zero zero four two four, And if you want

910
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:41,920
Speaker 3: to sbmit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay,

911
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:44,680
Speaker 3: story times separed it and we're here to give good advice. Goofy.

912
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:46,360
Speaker 3: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

913
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,279
Speaker 3: what we'd do. So let us know what you would

914
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:50,440
Speaker 3: do in the comments. And Tuesday here is going to

915
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:51,520
Speaker 3: help us read some stories.

916
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:54,879
Speaker 4: So the person ran away, yes, and they're not sorry

917
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:57,920
Speaker 4: about it because well, I don't understand where the problem is.

918
00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 3: We haven't. Yeah, well we'll see. She's three years younger

919
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:04,239
Speaker 3: than me, so I was expected to deal with it

920
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 3: in a more adult like way. I wasn't supposed to

921
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 3: have a hard time with it. I wasn't supposed to

922
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:11,920
Speaker 3: get upset or fear for my safety around her. I

923
00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:14,800
Speaker 3: was a boy older and taller than her. She was

924
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:17,279
Speaker 3: a girl younger and shorter than me. It was meant

925
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,839
Speaker 3: to be okay. My parents never wanted to hear I

926
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:23,880
Speaker 3: wasn't okay. Neither did grandparents, aunts, uncles, or other family.

927
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,640
Speaker 3: My breaking point was my sister hurting my hand with

928
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:29,840
Speaker 3: a sharp object. It wasn't the first time my parents

929
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:32,040
Speaker 3: were mad that I didn't leap for the object the

930
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:33,840
Speaker 3: second I saw her with it, and they were so

931
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:37,000
Speaker 3: busy fussing over her, calling her care team and trying

932
00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:39,440
Speaker 3: to talk her down, and I was standing there bleeding

933
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:42,000
Speaker 3: and they didn't even care. Oh my goodness. So I

934
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:43,879
Speaker 3: left in the middle of the night. I didn't leave

935
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:46,560
Speaker 3: a note or take anything with me except two changes

936
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:49,040
Speaker 3: of clothes that I bought myself. I was homeless for

937
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 3: almost two years. I didn't finish high school. I didn't

938
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:54,760
Speaker 3: reach out to anyone in my family. I never intended

939
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 3: to reach back out again. I was pissed at them

940
00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,239
Speaker 3: and I was hurt, but I never planned to reach

941
00:39:59,239 --> 00:40:01,680
Speaker 3: out because nobody cared. I did all the stuff you're

942
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:04,280
Speaker 3: meant to do. I spoke up, I confided in people,

943
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:07,359
Speaker 3: I got in touch with other family and teachers, and

944
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:09,359
Speaker 3: nobody wanted to help me. I made a pretty good

945
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:11,560
Speaker 3: life for myself. I still have a lot of figure out,

946
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:13,640
Speaker 3: but I'm happier than I was back at home. It

947
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:16,520
Speaker 3: being years later helps a ton too. A couple of

948
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:18,840
Speaker 3: months ago, I found out through social media that my

949
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:21,359
Speaker 3: parents had started to ask where I was and if

950
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:24,040
Speaker 3: anyone had seen me or knew where I was. It

951
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:26,720
Speaker 3: started not too long before I found it. I looked

952
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 3: and there were no signs they'd done anything before. To

953
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:32,000
Speaker 3: look that told me a lot, but they were getting

954
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:34,319
Speaker 3: more attention for it, and it made me reach out

955
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,319
Speaker 3: to tell them I was okay. I told them to

956
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:39,080
Speaker 3: leave me alone, but of course they didn't, and I

957
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:41,800
Speaker 3: wanted to block them, but they wanted to go public again.

958
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,880
Speaker 3: We talked a little, since they want an apology, but

959
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:48,239
Speaker 3: I refused. I told them I'm not sorry and I

960
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:51,080
Speaker 3: don't regret running away. They freaked out and told me

961
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:53,920
Speaker 3: I should realize how reckless and dangerous it was. I

962
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:56,160
Speaker 3: told them it was no more dangerous than living with

963
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:58,520
Speaker 3: them and my sister. They told me not to be

964
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:02,040
Speaker 3: so dramatic. They said my was only one girl and

965
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:04,480
Speaker 3: would never hurt me the way random creeps on the

966
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:06,920
Speaker 3: streets good. They gave my contact infote to some of

967
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:09,400
Speaker 3: our other family, and some of them have tried to

968
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:12,719
Speaker 3: call and scold me for not apologizing. I'm on the

969
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:14,840
Speaker 3: verge of telling my parents that if they try to

970
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:18,359
Speaker 3: shame me for blocking them, I can share exactly how

971
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 3: little they cared about me. They said I still need

972
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:23,640
Speaker 3: to apologize for what I did, and they can't believe

973
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:25,920
Speaker 3: at twenty four I don't see it. And we're going

974
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:27,440
Speaker 3: to pause there there's a little bit left. But do

975
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:28,280
Speaker 3: you have any thoughts?

976
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:32,960
Speaker 1: Oh, I have a lot of Oki. Well, I have thoughts. Yeah, okay.

977
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:36,319
Speaker 4: The mistake that was made was contacting them again when

978
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:39,080
Speaker 4: they were looking for you. I understand why they did that,

979
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 4: why they contacted them, because they're you know, we all

980
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:45,880
Speaker 4: hold hope that somebody who is supposed to care about

981
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:50,000
Speaker 4: us actually does and maybe contrite and sorry for what

982
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:52,399
Speaker 4: they did or what happened. So you know, you can

983
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 4: take that sign of I heard on social media or

984
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:56,839
Speaker 4: wherever it was that my parents were looking for me and.

985
00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:58,520
Speaker 1: Them they just want to know if I'm okay. You

986
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,920
Speaker 1: kind of feel that at this point, you're just feeding

987
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:01,600
Speaker 1: into the troll.

988
00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:05,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, every time you say something, they're going to come

989
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:10,520
Speaker 4: back at you, and they've they're blackmailing you, you know, emotionally,

990
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 4: they're making you worried that they're going to say horrible

991
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:17,319
Speaker 4: things about you to other people if you block them,

992
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:20,440
Speaker 4: you know what, let them let them who cares?

993
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:21,879
Speaker 1: Who cares? I mean?

994
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:25,680
Speaker 4: I had a father leave when I was really super

995
00:42:25,719 --> 00:42:28,359
Speaker 4: young and then come back into my life later on

996
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:31,319
Speaker 4: and then you know, kind of did that to me

997
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:34,800
Speaker 4: and I just like, I can't do this anymore.

998
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:35,800
Speaker 1: Bye. Done.

999
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:37,800
Speaker 4: He kept trying to call me and stuff and was like,

1000
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:40,279
Speaker 4: I don't understand why she won't talk to me, And

1001
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:42,880
Speaker 4: you know, a couple members of the family were like,

1002
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 4: you know, he's trying, and I'm like, no, I don't care.

1003
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 4: You got to do it for your own safety. That's

1004
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:50,680
Speaker 4: that's the bottom line right there, because you're just I

1005
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 4: had to assume my sister. Yeah, I had to assue

1006
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:56,759
Speaker 4: my sister because of my documentary on two B that

1007
00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:58,200
Speaker 4: she did not even mentioned it.

1008
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:00,240
Speaker 1: There's nothing to do with her.

1009
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:04,239
Speaker 4: She called up to be a prime that it was

1010
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:08,040
Speaker 4: airing on and said that I didn't get the proper

1011
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:12,480
Speaker 4: clearances because I used a picture of her father in it.

1012
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:14,640
Speaker 1: It's my father too, that is.

1013
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:18,319
Speaker 4: My story, you know, and he's dead. Both my father

1014
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:21,200
Speaker 4: and step father are dead. There's no way for me

1015
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:25,520
Speaker 4: to get I mean, I'm not going to get that

1016
00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:30,279
Speaker 4: Ouiji board because and when she did this, she didn't

1017
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:32,160
Speaker 4: contact me, and I hadn't talked to her for a

1018
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:35,759
Speaker 4: while because she's not a good person. She didn't say, well,

1019
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:37,600
Speaker 4: first of all, I'm sorry for everything you had to

1020
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:39,640
Speaker 4: go through. I'm sorry your life was really rough. No,

1021
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:42,279
Speaker 4: it was like, no, you can't do that. So I

1022
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:45,520
Speaker 4: had to go sue her and you know yeah, and

1023
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:48,000
Speaker 4: I had to go through this and I won. I

1024
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:51,000
Speaker 4: could have actually taken her house and everything. The judgment

1025
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:52,279
Speaker 4: would have been in my favor. But it got to

1026
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 4: the point where it's like, no, you just signed this

1027
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:54,360
Speaker 4: piece of paper.

1028
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:55,719
Speaker 1: Done, I'm done.

1029
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,360
Speaker 4: You signed the right away that you're you were wrong,

1030
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:01,960
Speaker 4: that you have any rights to this, that you're not mentioned,

1031
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,480
Speaker 4: blah blah blah, and you don't have to pay me

1032
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:07,120
Speaker 4: any money. I don't care at this point, but if

1033
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:11,200
Speaker 4: you contact me for anything in the future, it would

1034
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 4: be considered harassment.

1035
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:14,719
Speaker 1: Have a nice life. Yeah, And that was the end

1036
00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:16,600
Speaker 1: of it, because you have to protect yourself.

1037
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:20,280
Speaker 3: And I mean it's been eight years, yeah, since they

1038
00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:23,719
Speaker 3: like since op left, and it seems like they just

1039
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 3: started looking for him.

1040
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 4: So clearly there's you know her, I'm sure, yeah, probably

1041
00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 4: what happened.

1042
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:33,239
Speaker 1: And I don't know for sure. I could be wrong.

1043
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:36,200
Speaker 1: I was once in my life. It was probably a friend.

1044
00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:39,200
Speaker 4: Suggestion or something like somehow it popped up or somebody

1045
00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:41,239
Speaker 4: said to because my sister would never have known about

1046
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:45,480
Speaker 4: the documentary unless it was somebody on from our from

1047
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:48,120
Speaker 4: my past on to be who saw it on t B,

1048
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:50,520
Speaker 4: or saw it me promoting it on social media, or

1049
00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:52,759
Speaker 4: saw an ad for a sponsored ad for it and

1050
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 4: let her know that this was happening.

1051
00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:56,799
Speaker 1: She would not have known, not have known.

1052
00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 4: So it was something like that that somebody went, I'm

1053
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:03,280
Speaker 4: sure that they weren't. Just like all of a sudden,

1054
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:06,120
Speaker 4: eight years later, typed on Facebook, I.

1055
00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:08,880
Speaker 1: Missed my child. I want to know they're alive.

1056
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:11,360
Speaker 3: No, we got some comments coming. One says not the

1057
00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:14,359
Speaker 3: a hole would block them completely if I was you. Yeah,

1058
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:17,080
Speaker 3: I think you deserve an apology way more. And if

1059
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:19,319
Speaker 3: they can't see it, then you're better off without them. Oh,

1060
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:22,120
Speaker 3: he says. I'm considering it for the peace not having

1061
00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:24,640
Speaker 3: contact brought me. But I also don't want them acting

1062
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,520
Speaker 3: like I'm still missing, although maybe if I make it clear,

1063
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 3: I'll speak up. If they do, they might.

1064
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:31,520
Speaker 4: Just why do you care if they worry about you

1065
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:34,120
Speaker 4: you're still missing. You're not missing matter You've told the

1066
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:37,000
Speaker 4: twenty four. You've told them you're okay. Yeah, you told

1067
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:37,680
Speaker 4: them you're fine.

1068
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 3: Go away, Because if you were a minor and they were,

1069
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:43,359
Speaker 3: you know, saying you were missing. That's different. That would

1070
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:45,280
Speaker 3: actually have issues and stuff.

1071
00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:47,759
Speaker 4: But you're like, it's not like there's milk cartons to

1072
00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:48,960
Speaker 4: put your picture on anymore.

1073
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:53,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, care Yeah, Cli says, why not make a

1074
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:56,120
Speaker 3: public post about your parents telling you that you overacted

1075
00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:57,960
Speaker 3: to getting hurt and then not looking for you for

1076
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:01,120
Speaker 3: years after you ran away. Tell everyone they're now pestering

1077
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:03,359
Speaker 3: you again and demanding an apology, and that they likely

1078
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:05,799
Speaker 3: want time or money or babysitting their violent daughter for you.

1079
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:06,880
Speaker 1: That's just feeding into it.

1080
00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't think you need to. I think you

1081
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:11,440
Speaker 3: should just block out all of that. Commadsa is not

1082
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:13,840
Speaker 3: the ale. Tell your parents and the rest of the

1083
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:16,680
Speaker 3: family that they're the ones who should apologize and block them.

1084
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:19,920
Speaker 3: You thrived without them for six years, and it sounds

1085
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:22,840
Speaker 3: like communicating with them now we'll only have a negative

1086
00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:25,480
Speaker 3: impact on your mental health. Opie says, I can already

1087
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 3: feel the mental strain of speaking to them as much

1088
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:29,960
Speaker 3: as I have, and that is the end of the story.

1089
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:31,880
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're going to get back to these stories.

1090
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:33,920
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of ads for more sponsors.

1091
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:38,560
Speaker 4: Walk away, walk away. Somebody said something and hear about

1092
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:41,759
Speaker 4: the black sheep. It can very well be, especially if

1093
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:43,800
Speaker 4: you're the black sheep of the family. I hope people

1094
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:47,200
Speaker 4: understand the person who's generally called the black sheep of

1095
00:46:47,239 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 4: the family is the person who is escaping the generational

1096
00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:56,399
Speaker 4: trauma and healing themselves. That's why they're considered the black sheet.

1097
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:59,760
Speaker 4: Oh wow, it's one hundred percent true, Riley.

1098
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:01,480
Speaker 3: That's not willing to put up with them.

1099
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:04,040
Speaker 4: You're not putting up with it. You're making them stop,

1100
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:06,880
Speaker 4: you're setting boundaries, you're calling them on their bs, and

1101
00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:09,240
Speaker 4: then you're the black sheet because you're not going along

1102
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 4: with the way the family operates.

1103
00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:13,200
Speaker 2: I do have a question about your sister, So you

1104
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:16,239
Speaker 2: were going to sue her because of what reason to

1105
00:47:16,280 --> 00:47:16,880
Speaker 2: getting exactly?

1106
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:17,600
Speaker 1: She stopped.

1107
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:21,400
Speaker 4: She put a copyright claim on my documentary on My Life,

1108
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:25,000
Speaker 4: and she said that I used her father's picture without

1109
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:28,920
Speaker 4: his permition. She did not tell that it was my

1110
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:32,759
Speaker 4: father too. The verbiage she used was very pointed and

1111
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:36,880
Speaker 4: very calculated, and she left that there and she wouldn't

1112
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:40,080
Speaker 4: answer any responses or anything on it because she knew

1113
00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:42,279
Speaker 4: it just would stop it. And I had to go

1114
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 4: through a long drawn off thing and get her served,

1115
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:47,880
Speaker 4: and you know, kept going back and forth with you know,

1116
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:50,719
Speaker 4: the company, saying but it's mine, it's mine. But they're like,

1117
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:52,320
Speaker 4: you know, we're not in the law business.

1118
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:53,080
Speaker 1: There are certain things.

1119
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:55,200
Speaker 4: I'm like, but they're both of them are deceased, my

1120
00:47:55,239 --> 00:47:57,720
Speaker 4: stepfather and my real father. And it was just a picture.

1121
00:47:57,719 --> 00:48:00,520
Speaker 4: And we knew the laws, we got all the clearances,

1122
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:02,160
Speaker 4: we did, we did our homework.

1123
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:05,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's that verbiage that she used just to be

1124
00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:05,760
Speaker 1: a little.

1125
00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:07,880
Speaker 2: B word so you were able to counter sue and

1126
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:08,400
Speaker 2: you couldn't.

1127
00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:11,360
Speaker 1: Like, no, I suit her for doing the copyright.

1128
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:14,680
Speaker 4: Oh I see for money that not paid and suffering,

1129
00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:17,160
Speaker 4: but for the money that I was lost and her

1130
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:20,399
Speaker 4: doing that when she had no right to claim copyright.

1131
00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:22,680
Speaker 1: I got it through. I got it through.

1132
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:25,000
Speaker 4: And she said she wanted to go to mediation, and

1133
00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:27,239
Speaker 4: the mediation was on her for son going my way,

1134
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 4: and I'm like, sure, you want to go to mediation.

1135
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:32,200
Speaker 4: She wanted to go to mediation because she didn't want

1136
00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:35,240
Speaker 4: to have to go into court. She thought mediation would

1137
00:48:35,320 --> 00:48:38,920
Speaker 4: you know, stop it and she could win. But she's

1138
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:42,320
Speaker 4: an evil, nasty person. I just sit there on zoom

1139
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,480
Speaker 4: with her and look at her face and hear and

1140
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:46,680
Speaker 4: try to stay calm. And I did, and everything the

1141
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:48,840
Speaker 4: mediation was going this way, and all of a sudden

1142
00:48:49,080 --> 00:48:51,640
Speaker 4: it just dawned on me. I'm like, I know her

1143
00:48:51,719 --> 00:48:54,080
Speaker 4: too well and the only thing that's going to stop

1144
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:57,200
Speaker 4: this because I could see in her face she was

1145
00:48:57,280 --> 00:48:59,400
Speaker 4: kind of losing it a little. I knew the mediation

1146
00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:03,000
Speaker 4: was going my and I thought she gets that. So

1147
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:05,279
Speaker 4: I just said, out of the blue, I said, if

1148
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:08,080
Speaker 4: you signed blah blah blah blah blah document that states

1149
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:09,920
Speaker 4: all this, I will drop the monetary thing.

1150
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:13,360
Speaker 1: And she I'll sign anything she's greeted. She literally yeah,

1151
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:15,040
Speaker 1: And I'm like, great, let's do it.

1152
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:16,080
Speaker 2: That was so kind of you.

1153
00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:17,359
Speaker 1: I just wanted it over.

1154
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:17,719
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1155
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:19,360
Speaker 1: I mean I could have used the money.

1156
00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:21,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, I really could use the money, but you know what,

1157
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:24,400
Speaker 4: I just want that out of my life.

1158
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:24,799
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1159
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:25,800
Speaker 3: Yeah for OPM.

1160
00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:28,040
Speaker 1: Sure, that's her. Her issues are her issues.

1161
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:31,160
Speaker 4: Again, it's the black Sheep thing. I'm healed, I've done

1162
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:33,279
Speaker 4: the shadow work, I've done things that I need to do.

1163
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:36,200
Speaker 4: I'm still healing through stuff and it's a process that

1164
00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 4: will go until the day you die. If it's not

1165
00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:40,920
Speaker 4: a process that goes into the day you die. You're

1166
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:43,040
Speaker 4: not really healing, you're not really doing the work. It's

1167
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:45,680
Speaker 4: what my opinion, and I just wanted that portion of.

1168
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:46,399
Speaker 1: My life done.

1169
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:46,840
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1170
00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:48,439
Speaker 1: Wow, No money would have been.

1171
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:50,239
Speaker 3: Worth that to have kept going through it.

1172
00:49:50,520 --> 00:49:51,480
Speaker 2: Have you forgiven her?

1173
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:54,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, she's not a good person. I will never forget

1174
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 4: what she's did. But I feel empathy for whatever demon

1175
00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:03,320
Speaker 4: she's got. Them made her that miserable because there's something

1176
00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:06,399
Speaker 4: that has gone wrong in her life that she can't

1177
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:08,680
Speaker 4: let go. That she is just trying to make other

1178
00:50:08,719 --> 00:50:13,120
Speaker 4: people's lives miserable, and that's sad. I don't want that life.

1179
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:15,919
Speaker 4: I don't want energy, that energy around me, I.

1180
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:16,279
Speaker 1: Was telling them.

1181
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:18,759
Speaker 4: I was actually telling a close friend of mine, like,

1182
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:20,880
Speaker 4: you know, when we were younger, we were thick as seas,

1183
00:50:20,880 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 4: were two years apart.

1184
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:23,280
Speaker 1: Thick as thieves.

1185
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:25,920
Speaker 4: When we would get we'd get sick at the same time,

1186
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:27,839
Speaker 4: you know, because we were so close and we had

1187
00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:30,680
Speaker 4: rooms next to each other, and during our fevers, you

1188
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:34,160
Speaker 4: know how you talk during your fever. I would say

1189
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:38,520
Speaker 4: nonsense and she would answer back, and you know, I mean,

1190
00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:41,640
Speaker 4: that's how in tune we were. We would get up

1191
00:50:41,719 --> 00:50:45,359
Speaker 4: way early on Christmas and sneak up and look through

1192
00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:47,439
Speaker 4: our stockings and put everything back in the right way.

1193
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:50,600
Speaker 4: So my mother never noticed. We would go into her closet,

1194
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:52,880
Speaker 4: we would find the presence, we would unwrap them and

1195
00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:53,759
Speaker 4: wrap them back up.

1196
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:56,480
Speaker 1: She never knew. That's I mean, that's wow. We were

1197
00:50:57,000 --> 00:50:57,760
Speaker 1: so close.

1198
00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:00,439
Speaker 4: And I sometimes, you know, the holiday, I was telling

1199
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:02,239
Speaker 4: a friend, I'm like, you know, think of that, But

1200
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:04,920
Speaker 4: you know, I just mourn for that person is dad.

1201
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:08,160
Speaker 4: That person is dad. That person I do not know

1202
00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:10,799
Speaker 4: who this person is right now. They're a stranger to me.

1203
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:14,279
Speaker 1: That person is gone. I mourn them, and I'm moved on.

1204
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:16,880
Speaker 2: That's beautiful that you're able to like go through that,

1205
00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:19,960
Speaker 2: And I mean, it's definitely made you a stronger person.

1206
00:51:19,880 --> 00:51:20,359
Speaker 1: I think so.

1207
00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:25,800
Speaker 4: I think it's made me more aware of other people's pain,

1208
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:29,880
Speaker 4: other people made me better to. Like I said, when

1209
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:31,200
Speaker 4: I walked down the street and I say hi to

1210
00:51:31,239 --> 00:51:32,880
Speaker 4: somebody and they don't respond to me, it's like, well

1211
00:51:32,920 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 4: they're not I feel in it.

1212
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:34,840
Speaker 1: Today, It's okay.

1213
00:51:34,920 --> 00:51:37,680
Speaker 4: I don't take things so personally anymore because that's a

1214
00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:40,520
Speaker 4: dumb issue, you know. I know that I'm trying to

1215
00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:42,400
Speaker 4: treat people. Well, I'm trying to do the best. I

1216
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:44,439
Speaker 4: kind of trying to help those less fortunate, and I'm trying,

1217
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:47,399
Speaker 4: you know, all the things. I'm not going to take

1218
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:51,000
Speaker 4: it offensive. When you know, when an uber driver starts

1219
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:53,480
Speaker 4: screaming at me for some reason, that's like, I don't

1220
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:54,800
Speaker 4: know what he just went through.

1221
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:55,879
Speaker 1: That's him.

1222
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:58,000
Speaker 4: I'll never see him again. I'll just go on there

1223
00:51:58,000 --> 00:51:59,839
Speaker 4: and say please don't hook me up with that person,

1224
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:02,160
Speaker 4: and then I move on. I'm not going to hold

1225
00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:04,360
Speaker 4: on to this. Yeah, because I actually went through a

1226
00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:06,520
Speaker 4: lot of illness too, because I held on to a

1227
00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:07,279
Speaker 4: lot of stuff and it.

1228
00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:10,400
Speaker 1: Makes you ill. Oh wow yeah, yeah, stress makes you

1229
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:13,279
Speaker 1: really ill, so you have to like let it go.

1230
00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:13,800
Speaker 3: Wow.

1231
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:14,839
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm an open book.

1232
00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:17,480
Speaker 2: That's her brother.

1233
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:19,760
Speaker 3: He has Yeah, he tells he does everyone everything.

1234
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:20,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, he has no secrets.

1235
00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:22,240
Speaker 3: It's very honest. Awesome.

1236
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:23,360
Speaker 2: We got one more story for you.

1237
00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:28,360
Speaker 3: I conquered my anxiety and told my neighbor to shut up. Yes,

1238
00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:31,440
Speaker 3: I live in a block of flats and this endless

1239
00:52:31,480 --> 00:52:35,120
Speaker 3: lockdown and the UK hasn't been easy, but when it started,

1240
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:37,880
Speaker 3: I was filled with joy at a sudden realization the

1241
00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:41,000
Speaker 3: flat below me is a holiday flat. No one will

1242
00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:45,200
Speaker 3: be staying there. Blissful silence. Holiday flat, I guess just

1243
00:52:45,239 --> 00:52:47,560
Speaker 3: a place that is only rented out for like an

1244
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:48,360
Speaker 3: Airbnb kind of.

1245
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:49,359
Speaker 2: It's a European thing.

1246
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:52,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I got the flat from England, but the.

1247
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:56,200
Speaker 3: Wrong the flat is to this day still being used. Bummer.

1248
00:52:56,520 --> 00:52:59,360
Speaker 3: I'm still dubious if it's being used in keeping with

1249
00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:03,040
Speaker 3: lockdown restrictions. But anyway, by the way, this comes from

1250
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:05,200
Speaker 3: sir tea Leaf and if you must sbmit your own stories,

1251
00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:07,840
Speaker 3: go to the r slash. Okay, storytime suppered. It noise

1252
00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:11,359
Speaker 3: carries from the flat big time, but I can forgive that.

1253
00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:14,799
Speaker 3: Nothing those staying there can do about that. But I'm

1254
00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:18,080
Speaker 3: a very light sleeper at the best of times. For months,

1255
00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:20,879
Speaker 3: we've had a family with a crying baby staying there,

1256
00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:24,560
Speaker 3: and my sleeping pattern is eft. But I can't complain

1257
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:27,080
Speaker 3: about that. A child is a child and can't be

1258
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:30,040
Speaker 3: blamed for crying, even with the best parenting in the world.

1259
00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:32,359
Speaker 3: At least it tended to shut up by midnight. Then

1260
00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:34,759
Speaker 3: came the new guy, a man so loud at two

1261
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:37,400
Speaker 3: am in the morning you'd think his max volume played

1262
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:40,880
Speaker 3: through speakers. Group zoom calls were happening right next to you.

1263
00:53:41,080 --> 00:53:43,760
Speaker 3: What's worse is someone in the call, I swear spends

1264
00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:47,080
Speaker 3: all their time with their mic pointing out a cutlery drawer.

1265
00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:51,360
Speaker 3: They're constantly rearranging while the guy's staying Their shouts, screams

1266
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:54,440
Speaker 3: and claps like he's in an est sports stadium. I

1267
00:53:54,480 --> 00:53:56,759
Speaker 3: had patience for the crying child for it could not

1268
00:53:56,880 --> 00:54:00,600
Speaker 3: help it, sleep, ruining, screeching, but not this. It's been

1269
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 3: over a year of lockdown and I just couldn't take

1270
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:05,160
Speaker 3: it anymore. I mean, I'm impressed that you took it

1271
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:07,839
Speaker 3: for a year. So I finally did it. I went

1272
00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:10,240
Speaker 3: down late at night and told them to shut up.

1273
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:14,120
Speaker 3: Against all my screaming social anxiety problems, I got him

1274
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,200
Speaker 3: to be quiet. Fair play to the guy. He was

1275
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:19,520
Speaker 3: very polite and apologetic. My heart was pounding afterwards, and

1276
00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:21,680
Speaker 3: I still got a bad night's sleep because I was

1277
00:54:21,760 --> 00:54:25,520
Speaker 3: so gosh darn filled with adrenaline at telling someone to shush.

1278
00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:28,160
Speaker 3: It drives me crazy that I get so worked up

1279
00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:30,799
Speaker 3: over such a simple social interaction, but I feel like

1280
00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:33,520
Speaker 3: I've made big progress last night. I need to keep

1281
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:36,239
Speaker 3: chasing that and not be afraid to speak and there

1282
00:54:36,280 --> 00:54:37,560
Speaker 3: isn't edit, but too many thoughts.

1283
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:42,280
Speaker 4: For Ope, I suffer from anxiety and she PTSG and stuff.

1284
00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:44,720
Speaker 4: But I think it's really important that you do speak

1285
00:54:44,760 --> 00:54:47,800
Speaker 4: up and you do stand up if it's starting affecting

1286
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:50,200
Speaker 4: your health, which is, you know, you need sleep for

1287
00:54:50,280 --> 00:54:53,200
Speaker 4: good health. There are certain things though that like you

1288
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:56,200
Speaker 4: have to take into consideration, Like everybody's schedules are a

1289
00:54:56,239 --> 00:54:57,960
Speaker 4: little different with some of that.

1290
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:01,040
Speaker 1: What is late at night? Yeah, is it really late

1291
00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:02,560
Speaker 1: at night or is it late at night to you?

1292
00:55:02,680 --> 00:55:04,680
Speaker 4: It's kind of like the people driving down the four

1293
00:55:04,800 --> 00:55:07,080
Speaker 4: or five that are in the far left lane going

1294
00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:09,640
Speaker 4: thirty five, because it's like, well that's fast to me,

1295
00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:10,200
Speaker 4: and I'm.

1296
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:10,920
Speaker 1: In the fast lane.

1297
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:12,000
Speaker 3: You know, why are you there?

1298
00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:14,440
Speaker 4: So you have to take some of those things into consideration.

1299
00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:17,600
Speaker 4: But it's really important that you do stand up.

1300
00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:18,760
Speaker 1: A roommate who.

1301
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:22,319
Speaker 4: Had his girlfriend over during lockdown a lot and it

1302
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:25,200
Speaker 4: annoyed me, and I didn't say anything. I finally did

1303
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:27,440
Speaker 4: say something like, you know, more than three nights a week,

1304
00:55:27,520 --> 00:55:28,680
Speaker 4: she's going to have to pay rent?

1305
00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:30,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, but they.

1306
00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:34,160
Speaker 4: Would just do the beast with two backs constantly, constantly,

1307
00:55:34,440 --> 00:55:35,920
Speaker 4: which is like that's fine.

1308
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:37,120
Speaker 1: I'm not against that.

1309
00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:39,480
Speaker 4: One of the things they were into was like he

1310
00:55:39,560 --> 00:55:42,080
Speaker 4: would tickle her and tickle her and tickle her, and

1311
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:44,040
Speaker 4: she would scream and scream and this is coming at

1312
00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:46,680
Speaker 4: three in the morning. Oh and finally one day I'm like,

1313
00:55:46,840 --> 00:55:49,840
Speaker 4: stop that screaming, and he's like, nobody's screaming.

1314
00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:50,840
Speaker 3: She's just laughing.

1315
00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:53,200
Speaker 4: I'm like, look, I know you're into some kind of

1316
00:55:53,239 --> 00:55:56,840
Speaker 4: weird tickle torture. I'm not judging you on that, but

1317
00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:59,520
Speaker 4: you're keeping me up. Those are screams. It's kind of

1318
00:55:59,719 --> 00:56:01,520
Speaker 4: you know when you get a little kid and they

1319
00:56:01,719 --> 00:56:03,640
Speaker 4: keep taking Yeah.

1320
00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:05,239
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, if that's how you get your

1321
00:56:05,280 --> 00:56:05,759
Speaker 1: rocks off.

1322
00:56:05,800 --> 00:56:08,840
Speaker 4: I tickle torture by all means, I'm I'm all for

1323
00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:11,000
Speaker 4: everybody to like, you know, duff below.

1324
00:56:11,320 --> 00:56:12,839
Speaker 3: At three pm, not three am.

1325
00:56:12,920 --> 00:56:13,880
Speaker 1: It's starting to affect me.

1326
00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:17,719
Speaker 3: Yeah. We've got an edit from Oppe. It says for

1327
00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:20,640
Speaker 3: a bit of extra information based on some comments I've seen,

1328
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:23,120
Speaker 3: I did try a note posted on his door at

1329
00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:25,480
Speaker 3: first a few days before. That's what I was wondering.

1330
00:56:25,520 --> 00:56:28,000
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, did you try anything else? Yeah?

1331
00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:30,120
Speaker 3: I hope that would work, as then I'd never have

1332
00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:32,280
Speaker 3: to show my face to them, but this did nothing.

1333
00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:35,200
Speaker 3: It's possible they didn't see it and ask.

1334
00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:38,680
Speaker 1: For I think it was locked down. They saw it,

1335
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:40,120
Speaker 1: and as for.

1336
00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:44,040
Speaker 3: Our interaction, I didn't yell like heck do I have

1337
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:46,840
Speaker 3: the balls for that, just explained in a broken voice

1338
00:56:46,880 --> 00:56:49,799
Speaker 3: that it's a residential building and his voice carries a lot,

1339
00:56:49,880 --> 00:56:52,160
Speaker 3: and that he needs just try and shut up. After

1340
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:55,360
Speaker 3: eleven pm, P is just like can you could you

1341
00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:56,640
Speaker 3: please shut up?

1342
00:56:56,719 --> 00:56:58,520
Speaker 1: Shut Up is a really aggressive word.

1343
00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:02,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean if using that word that is like,

1344
00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:05,319
Speaker 4: I mean, she didn't actually say it, but if you

1345
00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:07,920
Speaker 4: did say it, that's aggressive. But it's like, hey, I

1346
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:10,879
Speaker 4: don't think you realize how your voice carries, because I've

1347
00:57:11,200 --> 00:57:14,279
Speaker 4: actually had to have that conversation with people in different situations.

1348
00:57:14,320 --> 00:57:17,480
Speaker 4: It's like it's a weird acoustic here because your voice

1349
00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:18,520
Speaker 4: is carrying through there.

1350
00:57:18,640 --> 00:57:19,960
Speaker 1: You don't necessarily think it's.

1351
00:57:19,880 --> 00:57:22,200
Speaker 4: Loud, but it bounces off this wall and stuff because

1352
00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:25,320
Speaker 4: I have sensitive ears, And I'm like, you don't realize it.

1353
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:27,960
Speaker 4: But I would never say you don't realize that you

1354
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:29,000
Speaker 4: know how loud you are?

1355
00:57:29,120 --> 00:57:29,960
Speaker 1: So shut up?

1356
00:57:30,120 --> 00:57:35,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's messed up, But.

1357
00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:38,080
Speaker 4: I would do like a note or something to you know,

1358
00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:40,640
Speaker 4: It's funny because that app next Door always killed me,

1359
00:57:40,800 --> 00:57:44,640
Speaker 4: the next Door APPA, because people people would go on

1360
00:57:44,680 --> 00:57:48,000
Speaker 4: there and they would just complain about their neighbor next

1361
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,600
Speaker 4: door and they would be like they did this and that,

1362
00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:54,000
Speaker 4: and you know that neighbors reading that, it's kind of

1363
00:57:54,040 --> 00:57:56,959
Speaker 4: like putting an aggressive note on their door. And then

1364
00:57:57,320 --> 00:57:59,880
Speaker 4: are they not thinking that, Yeah, you're going to run

1365
00:57:59,880 --> 00:58:01,800
Speaker 4: in that person at the Ralphs and they're going to

1366
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:03,480
Speaker 4: go off on you.

1367
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:05,960
Speaker 1: You know, there's always that possibility. Yeah.

1368
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:08,400
Speaker 4: Absolutely, you know they might not do anything to your

1369
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:11,200
Speaker 4: house because it's illegal and stuff. Once they get away

1370
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:14,960
Speaker 4: from their home and see you, there's that issue pop up.

1371
00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:18,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta be careful what we say. Also, again,

1372
00:58:18,560 --> 00:58:21,280
Speaker 3: as others have mentioned, I'm British and so was this guy.

1373
00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:24,360
Speaker 3: Apologies were flying in both directions. But it's still got

1374
00:58:24,360 --> 00:58:26,840
Speaker 3: my heart racing all night long. And there is a

1375
00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:30,720
Speaker 3: final update, so we'll read that real quick. It's eleven

1376
00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:33,360
Speaker 3: thirty pm and all is quiet on the Western Front.

1377
00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:38,360
Speaker 3: Mission successful, good night. Readit there we go nice.

1378
00:58:38,480 --> 00:58:40,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, you do have to go out of your

1379
00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:42,000
Speaker 4: comfort zone. You do have to attempt to talk.

1380
00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:42,280
Speaker 3: We do.

1381
00:58:42,640 --> 00:58:45,280
Speaker 4: We live in a society. We live in a community

1382
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:48,320
Speaker 4: unless you live out in the middle of nowhere in

1383
00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:51,040
Speaker 4: the country, which I would never do because that's the

1384
00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:53,840
Speaker 4: scariestest place on earth to me. I mean, I love

1385
00:58:53,880 --> 00:58:57,880
Speaker 4: the city. Suburbs are boring. The country is just frightening

1386
00:58:57,960 --> 00:58:59,919
Speaker 4: as all hell to me because that's where people who

1387
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:01,360
Speaker 4: where your skinners a dress lives.

1388
00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:04,120
Speaker 1: It's really well, yeah.

1389
00:59:03,920 --> 00:59:06,120
Speaker 4: Because nobody's gonna hear you scream if they grab you,

1390
00:59:06,160 --> 00:59:07,720
Speaker 4: because the houses are so far part.

1391
00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:09,080
Speaker 3: That's hometown.

1392
00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:11,560
Speaker 2: Yeah where North Carolina.

1393
00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:12,200
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah.

1394
00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:14,160
Speaker 4: Well, my mother lives in a small town in upstate

1395
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:16,560
Speaker 4: New York and it's like that, and I'm just like,

1396
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:19,080
Speaker 4: it's too quiet and night I can't I remember staying

1397
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:22,520
Speaker 4: at her house once and like, I'm a lucid dreamer,

1398
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:26,840
Speaker 4: had a horrible dream about death coming.

1399
00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:29,760
Speaker 1: For me, and I could hear the clip.

1400
00:59:29,480 --> 00:59:32,240
Speaker 4: Clop of the of the of the you know, the

1401
00:59:32,680 --> 00:59:36,400
Speaker 4: skeleton feet on the cement just get getting louder and

1402
00:59:36,440 --> 00:59:38,240
Speaker 4: louder coming at me, and I'm just like, can't get

1403
00:59:38,240 --> 00:59:39,520
Speaker 4: out of the stream. And all of a sudden I

1404
00:59:39,560 --> 00:59:43,919
Speaker 4: woke up on a sweat, and then I realized there's

1405
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:47,200
Speaker 4: a freaking Amish horse and buggy coming down the road

1406
00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:49,600
Speaker 4: and it's the horse clip clopping on that road.

1407
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:50,640
Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't live here.

1408
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:51,400
Speaker 3: I got it.

1409
00:59:51,440 --> 00:59:53,440
Speaker 4: I gotta like, yeah, I gotta go. I gotta go

1410
00:59:53,520 --> 00:59:55,440
Speaker 4: because somebody's going to like one of these people that

1411
00:59:55,480 --> 00:59:59,720
Speaker 4: they're gonna I'm not saying violence doesn't happen in the city,

1412
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:02,200
Speaker 4: even get killed and kidnapped in the city, but at

1413
01:00:02,280 --> 01:00:04,400
Speaker 4: least there's going to be somebody close by to videotape

1414
01:00:04,400 --> 01:00:06,640
Speaker 4: and you'll have a nice world star hip hop video

1415
01:00:06,800 --> 01:00:09,880
Speaker 4: for your funeral. You know, you'll be remembered on the

1416
01:00:09,920 --> 01:00:11,720
Speaker 4: other that but not in the country.

1417
01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:13,880
Speaker 2: That is true. That's why I don't watch scary movies.

1418
01:00:14,440 --> 01:00:16,680
Speaker 2: It all becomes too real out in the woods.

1419
01:00:16,800 --> 01:00:17,880
Speaker 1: Yes, it really does.

1420
01:00:18,160 --> 01:00:20,560
Speaker 4: I mean I remember being I was brought up in

1421
01:00:20,720 --> 01:00:23,440
Speaker 4: of State, New York, and I remember, like you know,

1422
01:00:23,520 --> 01:00:25,960
Speaker 4: being a teenager and going out and partying and stuff

1423
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:28,320
Speaker 4: into the woods and stuff and coming. One time we

1424
01:00:28,400 --> 01:00:31,080
Speaker 4: came across this in the distance. We were on a

1425
01:00:31,240 --> 01:00:33,880
Speaker 4: kind of a hill plateau type thing, and there was

1426
01:00:34,120 --> 01:00:36,960
Speaker 4: a channel of water that ran through and on a

1427
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:39,520
Speaker 4: lower plateau we saw a campfire and we were going

1428
01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:41,520
Speaker 4: to go down and see if they had beer and stuff,

1429
01:00:41,560 --> 01:00:42,880
Speaker 4: you know, And then all of a sudden, as we

1430
01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:47,560
Speaker 4: got closer, we realized they were double worshiping down there.

1431
01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:50,600
Speaker 4: They were dancing in their little double hoods and it

1432
01:00:50,640 --> 01:00:53,560
Speaker 4: wasn't kkk hood that was different. Yeah, but they were

1433
01:00:53,600 --> 01:00:55,720
Speaker 4: doing some kind of thing and we were.

1434
01:00:55,600 --> 01:00:59,640
Speaker 3: Like, Okay, here out they.

1435
01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:02,400
Speaker 1: Might have beer, but I don't want Yeah.

1436
01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:03,120
Speaker 2: Definitely got kool aid.

1437
01:01:03,320 --> 01:01:07,240
Speaker 3: Yeah that's terrible, but that's the end of that story.

1438
01:01:07,640 --> 01:01:09,520
Speaker 2: Where'd you get your name from? Like my Tuesday?

1439
01:01:09,640 --> 01:01:12,480
Speaker 4: To be honest with you, there was a couple a

1440
01:01:12,520 --> 01:01:14,600
Speaker 4: couple of things. When I was younger, my mother loved

1441
01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:18,640
Speaker 4: the actress Tuesday Weld, And then when I started, there

1442
01:01:18,680 --> 01:01:22,280
Speaker 4: was an actress that was pretty much the first I

1443
01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:24,360
Speaker 4: don't want to say Kardashian. She was the first one

1444
01:01:24,400 --> 01:01:27,080
Speaker 4: to like do a brand and it didn't work for her,

1445
01:01:27,160 --> 01:01:31,920
Speaker 4: but she did a movie's book, and record all at once,

1446
01:01:32,040 --> 01:01:34,320
Speaker 4: and her name was Tuesday Night k and I g

1447
01:01:34,560 --> 01:01:34,760
Speaker 4: h T.

1448
01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:37,280
Speaker 1: I just was like, yeah, I'm Tuesday.

1449
01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:40,200
Speaker 4: That's me people, and I love it because people are like, oh,

1450
01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:42,600
Speaker 4: were you born on Tuesday? I'm like, no, Thursday, And

1451
01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:43,440
Speaker 4: I just walked away.

1452
01:01:44,680 --> 01:01:48,960
Speaker 2: But I think that's that's everything. Where can we find you?

1453
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:49,920
Speaker 2: Get in contact.

1454
01:01:50,440 --> 01:01:52,720
Speaker 4: You can find me at Mama m O m m

1455
01:01:52,800 --> 01:01:57,120
Speaker 4: A warned me on Instagram, Tran mat r A n

1456
01:01:57,280 --> 01:02:00,760
Speaker 4: m A on TikTok. I've got the Trash goes Out

1457
01:02:00,800 --> 01:02:04,680
Speaker 4: on Tuesday, which is on to B please watch that documentary.

1458
01:02:04,880 --> 01:02:10,400
Speaker 4: And there's also Comedy Dynamics has a special Tuesday's Trash.

1459
01:02:10,680 --> 01:02:12,920
Speaker 4: And then I'm going to be doing a show. I

1460
01:02:12,920 --> 01:02:16,080
Speaker 4: have a show every second Saturday of the month called

1461
01:02:16,200 --> 01:02:19,840
Speaker 4: Altered Reality, a comedy show because life stocks you need

1462
01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:25,040
Speaker 4: to laugh. And then for Hollywood Fringe, Yeah, I'm in

1463
01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:26,440
Speaker 4: Hollywood Fringe.

1464
01:02:26,240 --> 01:02:27,480
Speaker 1: For a solo show.

1465
01:02:27,880 --> 01:02:31,480
Speaker 4: It's called a Confessions of a Groupie or I Fuck

1466
01:02:31,560 --> 01:02:33,360
Speaker 4: j Morris and the Night He Died But you can't

1467
01:02:33,400 --> 01:02:37,560
Speaker 4: pin it on me Coppers where I play an eighty

1468
01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:39,960
Speaker 4: year old woman who's telling her tales of all these

1469
01:02:40,080 --> 01:02:42,960
Speaker 4: rock stars and things and I sing. I don't sing well,

1470
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:43,520
Speaker 4: but I sing.

1471
01:02:43,920 --> 01:02:44,960
Speaker 1: She wants to be relevant.

1472
01:02:44,960 --> 01:02:47,240
Speaker 4: So it's pop songs of today tight in with the

1473
01:02:47,240 --> 01:02:50,360
Speaker 4: stories of old and that'll be at the Hudson Theaters

1474
01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:50,880
Speaker 4: in June.

1475
01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:53,320
Speaker 1: Awesome, Thank you so much, Thank you guys. This was

1476
01:02:53,360 --> 01:02:54,280
Speaker 1: a lot of fun.

1477
01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:55,200
Speaker 3: Body like that.

1478
01:02:55,520 --> 01:02:57,640
Speaker 1: Oh I did so much fun.

1479
01:02:57,680 --> 01:02:59,760
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm so glad. Thank you for joining us.

1480
01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:01,520
Speaker 2: I'll walk you out Bye.