1
00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,360
Speaker 1: Hi everyone, it's Sophia and welcome back to Work in Progress.

2
00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:17,959
Speaker 1: Today's guest is a powerhouse comedian and activist. She is

3
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:21,920
Speaker 1: also to my great delight of returning guests to the podcast,

4
00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:25,400
Speaker 1: Chelsea Handler. Last time Chelsea was on the pod, we

5
00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:27,400
Speaker 1: talked a bit about her book Life Will Be the

6
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:31,440
Speaker 1: Death of Me and You Two, and her documentary Hello Privilege,

7
00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:34,559
Speaker 1: It's Me Chelsea. Since then, Chelsea has put out a

8
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:38,519
Speaker 1: new special called Evolution on HBO Max about how her

9
00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:41,680
Speaker 1: rage from the election and the Trump presidency led her

10
00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:44,839
Speaker 1: to therapy and what that experience taught her about her

11
00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:50,040
Speaker 1: own grief, empathy, vulnerability, and ultimately strength and of course,

12
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,600
Speaker 1: his sense of humor. Chelsea has also started a podcast

13
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:57,080
Speaker 1: through I Heart Radio called Dear Chelsea Were alongside her

14
00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:59,920
Speaker 1: co host Brandon Marlowe. She takes on questions from lis

15
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,680
Speaker 1: sners all over the world and gives her advice and

16
00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:06,880
Speaker 1: opinions on well pretty much anything. When Chelsea was last

17
00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,360
Speaker 1: on the show, we talked about everything from activism being

18
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,520
Speaker 1: a marathon to not taking too much on and knowing

19
00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:15,199
Speaker 1: when to step away from a project. Having her back

20
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:18,240
Speaker 1: on gave me a unique opportunity to follow up with

21
00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:20,880
Speaker 1: her and see what kind of progress she's made and

22
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,000
Speaker 1: what new areas she's putting energy into. I could not

23
00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:40,600
Speaker 1: be more thrilled to welcome back Chelsea Handler. I missen

24
00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:44,600
Speaker 1: love you. How are you so good? I mean, just

25
00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:47,880
Speaker 1: you know, having a really positive attitude about life right now,

26
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,160
Speaker 1: just trying to make sure that I stay sunny side

27
00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:54,320
Speaker 1: up since everybody's in such a fucking bad mood. And

28
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:57,800
Speaker 1: I don't know why out it. I know, I know

29
00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:01,120
Speaker 1: it's weird. I I think people have a lot of

30
00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:06,440
Speaker 1: anxiety about re entry, you know. Yeah, I mean, yeah,

31
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:10,880
Speaker 1: that's fair. The last time I saw you, we were

32
00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:13,240
Speaker 1: waving to each other from behind masks in a parking

33
00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:15,560
Speaker 1: lot because you were doing a Night of Evolution in

34
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:19,880
Speaker 1: l A. Oh yeah, my premiere at the Right Special, Yeah,

35
00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:23,160
Speaker 1: the Evolution HBO Max. Oh my god. That was such

36
00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:24,800
Speaker 1: a fun night, wasn't it. I had to want a

37
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:28,240
Speaker 1: double decker bus driving through l A. And then they

38
00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,520
Speaker 1: dropped me off at my premiere and I was like,

39
00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,480
Speaker 1: I go okay, And I went to go get off

40
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,160
Speaker 1: the bus and they go, don't get off the bus.

41
00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:36,840
Speaker 1: You have to enter the movie theater with all the

42
00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:39,240
Speaker 1: cars on the bus. And I'm like, please don't make

43
00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,320
Speaker 1: me do that, and they're like, what, this is your premiere,

44
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,200
Speaker 1: you need to own it. And so I'm like on

45
00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:46,800
Speaker 1: a bus And then I did it and I was like,

46
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,280
Speaker 1: it was so funny to watch an outdoor movie, like

47
00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,680
Speaker 1: you know, like a drive through. Like I would any

48
00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:53,680
Speaker 1: line that I had in my stand up people, I'd

49
00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:55,840
Speaker 1: be like, I discovered I was a cunt and people

50
00:02:55,880 --> 00:03:00,280
Speaker 1: are like, baby, well because it's like it's how you

51
00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:03,800
Speaker 1: clap with the drive in. It's so weird. It was

52
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:06,880
Speaker 1: so weird. But that was really fun. Yeah, thank you

53
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:09,160
Speaker 1: for being there, honey Bunny. Oh my god, thank you

54
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,600
Speaker 1: for having us. It was so nice to just have

55
00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:14,360
Speaker 1: a way to get out of the house. Yeah. And

56
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,440
Speaker 1: congrats on all your new stuff. I was reading about

57
00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:19,640
Speaker 1: all your stuff and your shows. That's so awesome. Yeah,

58
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:24,400
Speaker 1: I'm so I'm so pumped about the show. Good for you.

59
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:27,200
Speaker 1: It's funny you said a thing a while back before

60
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,760
Speaker 1: you did Evolution. You were like, I didn't want to

61
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,760
Speaker 1: do another comedy special until I had something to say.

62
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,520
Speaker 1: And I'm curious about when you feel like you know,

63
00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:38,960
Speaker 1: because you know, you bring up the show and I'm

64
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,080
Speaker 1: so pumped for everybody to see good Sam. And there

65
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,560
Speaker 1: was a while where I was like, I don't know

66
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,200
Speaker 1: if I'm gonna like do network TV ever again. I

67
00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:49,200
Speaker 1: might just go like make fun movies and you know,

68
00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,920
Speaker 1: do this. And then I read this script and I

69
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:53,920
Speaker 1: was like, oh, shoot, I have something to say here.

70
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,360
Speaker 1: And I was like, why does it have to be

71
00:03:56,480 --> 00:04:00,760
Speaker 1: so good? But when you're the one doing it, you

72
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:05,000
Speaker 1: know you're writing it, You're you're choosing to carve out

73
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:09,520
Speaker 1: a special. I mean, you're basically writing a movie. How

74
00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:13,920
Speaker 1: do you know when you feel ready for something like that? Um?

75
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,920
Speaker 1: I think it's kind of like a pregnancy, you know

76
00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,279
Speaker 1: what I mean, You don't You're not ready ever, you

77
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:21,159
Speaker 1: just go for it and you take a leap. And

78
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:24,080
Speaker 1: for me, I think writing this special. I've always written

79
00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:26,200
Speaker 1: my own books, and I've always written my own stand up,

80
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,800
Speaker 1: and I've always kind of, you know, been given a

81
00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:32,960
Speaker 1: lot of opportunities with that. I just could either really

82
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:37,120
Speaker 1: really concentrated focus and deliver hard on or be like, oh,

83
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,800
Speaker 1: here's another opportunity and kind of whimsically thrown it out

84
00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:42,240
Speaker 1: the window or just kind of delivered it halfast. And

85
00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:45,680
Speaker 1: I really didn't like that about myself. I wanted to

86
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:49,360
Speaker 1: get more serious about the kind of laboriousness that goes

87
00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:53,080
Speaker 1: into really creating a narrative and stand up instead of

88
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:57,279
Speaker 1: getting up, say and just telling jokes to be funny.

89
00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,560
Speaker 1: I wanted to have a through line. I wanted to

90
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:04,320
Speaker 1: have a narrative and and by taking my time with

91
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:07,680
Speaker 1: this like I I handled this stand up special like

92
00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:10,520
Speaker 1: you know, nothing I've ever handled in my life. But

93
00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:13,840
Speaker 1: ever since I left Netflix for my last talk show

94
00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:16,520
Speaker 1: that I had, I just decided, I was, like, listen,

95
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:19,000
Speaker 1: every project I do, it's going to be one project

96
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,760
Speaker 1: at a time, not multiple projects. I need to focus

97
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:27,520
Speaker 1: on one thing. I read that book called Effortless Essentialism Essentialism.

98
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:34,279
Speaker 1: I read it because of you. Yes, oh that's so funny. Anyway,

99
00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:39,599
Speaker 1: his first book, Essentialism was all about doing things, doing

100
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:43,640
Speaker 1: more less, you know what I mean, and doing less

101
00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:46,640
Speaker 1: like more just actually picking the stuff that is important

102
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,880
Speaker 1: and focusing on that. So I did that with the special.

103
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,160
Speaker 1: I did it with my previous book. You know, I've

104
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,919
Speaker 1: done it with a couple of my projects since leaving Netflix,

105
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,200
Speaker 1: and it just the integrity of the work is at

106
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,159
Speaker 1: a different level, and that's where I want to be.

107
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,560
Speaker 1: You know, so it was it was a big gift

108
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,640
Speaker 1: to get to know myself in a more creative way

109
00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:05,520
Speaker 1: where I knew I had, where I demonstrated the discipline

110
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,600
Speaker 1: that I that I used to have in the beginning

111
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:10,440
Speaker 1: of my career, that I was like really focused and

112
00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:14,320
Speaker 1: really intent on doing one thing. Do you feel like

113
00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:18,000
Speaker 1: there's a bit of a of a panic that comes

114
00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,320
Speaker 1: with so many opportunities, because I know for me in

115
00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:22,080
Speaker 1: the irony as I got to admit something to you,

116
00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:24,680
Speaker 1: we talked about Essentialism when you came on the show

117
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:26,920
Speaker 1: last year, and I had started reading it because you

118
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:30,679
Speaker 1: were talking about it, and it made me so stressed

119
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,840
Speaker 1: out that I only got through half the book because

120
00:06:32,839 --> 00:06:33,960
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know, I don't know how

121
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,240
Speaker 1: to pick. I feel very overwhelmed. And and I think,

122
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:40,000
Speaker 1: as you say that it was easier in the beginning

123
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:43,440
Speaker 1: of your career to just do one thing, I realized

124
00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:46,320
Speaker 1: that as I now have the opportunity to do more things,

125
00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:49,799
Speaker 1: to show up for more things too, to try more things,

126
00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:52,520
Speaker 1: I'm so scared that I'm going to miss an adventure

127
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:57,720
Speaker 1: or or miss the thing that might, you know, change everything.

128
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:02,760
Speaker 1: This notion of pairing down and focusing on just one

129
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,440
Speaker 1: or two things you know in your life at a time,

130
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:09,320
Speaker 1: one work thing, one personal thing. It kind of scares me.

131
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:13,400
Speaker 1: So how do you get over being afraid that you're

132
00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:16,080
Speaker 1: going to miss the thing that's the best? Well, I,

133
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:20,239
Speaker 1: first of all, fomo is a nonsense. So whatever you're doing,

134
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:23,520
Speaker 1: whatever you're doing, is what you're supposed to do, right like,

135
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:25,320
Speaker 1: And I don't mean that. I mean, I do mean

136
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,040
Speaker 1: it in a universal way, but I don't mean it

137
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,360
Speaker 1: in that way. I mean it like it's like you're

138
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,480
Speaker 1: making a decision. You do A or you do B.

139
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:35,200
Speaker 1: Neither of those decisions is wrong, and we need to

140
00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,960
Speaker 1: stop looking at things like it's a wrong decision. That's

141
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,000
Speaker 1: the role. If I choose be, that's the road I'm

142
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,400
Speaker 1: taking and I'm not looking back at A. It's like

143
00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:45,200
Speaker 1: buying a house and thinking about a two houses before

144
00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:47,400
Speaker 1: that you saw and still being hung up on that house.

145
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:49,640
Speaker 1: It's like, no, you got to move into the next zone.

146
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,360
Speaker 1: No decision is the wrong decision. You just have to

147
00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:55,360
Speaker 1: commit fully to the decision that you make. So when

148
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:58,600
Speaker 1: you are working, you are so fulfilled in that endeavor,

149
00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:00,760
Speaker 1: and then when you are vacation inning or you're on

150
00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,680
Speaker 1: an adventure. I know you love to do adventures like

151
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:07,440
Speaker 1: I do. Then you're totally add percent focus there and

152
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:11,640
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, I never think about like, oh this opportunity,

153
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,480
Speaker 1: you know, like I was going to Whistler. This is

154
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:17,600
Speaker 1: a perfect example for Christmas to spend like three months

155
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,480
Speaker 1: there to get the hell out of l A after

156
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:23,480
Speaker 1: COVID because I was just over it obviously, And I

157
00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:25,960
Speaker 1: went and they called me to to host the Ellen Show,

158
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:28,800
Speaker 1: which is, you know, a big thing, and I wanted

159
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:30,440
Speaker 1: to do that and I've wanted to do it, it's

160
00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:32,760
Speaker 1: never worked out. And then I was like, I'd have

161
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:35,600
Speaker 1: to delay my trip to Whistler and I'm like, now,

162
00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:37,679
Speaker 1: you know what, my skiing is more important to my

163
00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:39,800
Speaker 1: state of mind and happiness. I just want to be

164
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:41,439
Speaker 1: in the mountains. I want to be out of l A.

165
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,280
Speaker 1: Forget about Ellen. And I came back and then they

166
00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:46,280
Speaker 1: offered it to me again and they said, hey, can

167
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,520
Speaker 1: you do two shows now? And I was like sure.

168
00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:51,000
Speaker 1: Now I'm home and you know, I had a reason

169
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:52,960
Speaker 1: to come home and in April, so it was like

170
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,680
Speaker 1: perfect And it was just a perfect example of like

171
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:58,720
Speaker 1: you're never giving up one thing for another, and we

172
00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:02,280
Speaker 1: should stop kind of structuring that in our mind, the

173
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:05,000
Speaker 1: way that we think about things. It's like, I want

174
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:08,600
Speaker 1: to do everything great. I want a vacation great. You know,

175
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,360
Speaker 1: I want to be the best vacation or there is.

176
00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:13,679
Speaker 1: And then when I'm working, I want people to know

177
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,160
Speaker 1: I'm serious and sucking on it. Yeah. And I think

178
00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:19,480
Speaker 1: the thing I try to remind myself of when I

179
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,880
Speaker 1: get in that space, you know, whether it's the fomo

180
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:25,800
Speaker 1: feeling you're referencing or anxiety. I repeat to myself. And

181
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,320
Speaker 1: I have no idea who said this, but it's like

182
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,320
Speaker 1: one of those quotes everybody knows and nobody knows where

183
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:33,160
Speaker 1: it came from. But what's meant for you won't miss you? Yeah,

184
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,520
Speaker 1: and you telling that story about going in and guest

185
00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:38,040
Speaker 1: hosting Ellen, it's like it didn't miss you and then

186
00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:40,480
Speaker 1: you got to do it twice. Yeah. And I think

187
00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:42,840
Speaker 1: that's really true. I think that's something you should really

188
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:45,880
Speaker 1: try to adopt it because it's it's so uh, it's

189
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:49,880
Speaker 1: so liberating also, and I just I just had this

190
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,720
Speaker 1: opportunity that I wanted that I that everyone was trying

191
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:55,360
Speaker 1: to convince me to do right. My whole team was like,

192
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,400
Speaker 1: you gotta do this. You gotta do this. Everyone watches

193
00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,080
Speaker 1: the show and it's a reality show, and I'm like,

194
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,360
Speaker 1: I don't give a fun about that show, and I can't,

195
00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,600
Speaker 1: you know, and they're like no, but it's got a huge,

196
00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:07,840
Speaker 1: huge viewership, like everyone watches and I was like, I

197
00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:09,800
Speaker 1: can't do it, I can't do it, and they were can't,

198
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:12,920
Speaker 1: pushing me, and then that opportunity, I said no, And

199
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,960
Speaker 1: then another opportunity in the same thing, in the same

200
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,719
Speaker 1: span of time came to me and I can do

201
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:23,000
Speaker 1: that now, which is way cooler. So it is true.

202
00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:26,440
Speaker 1: You really have to do trust your intuition and your

203
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:29,440
Speaker 1: and set your intention and so that when you're when

204
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:32,880
Speaker 1: you're whenever you're dealing with one thing, you're a hundred

205
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:37,320
Speaker 1: temper sent there. Yeah, I think there's also something I've

206
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:41,040
Speaker 1: had to unpack even farther down in that desire not

207
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,920
Speaker 1: to miss And I'm realized, I'm doing air quotes on

208
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,640
Speaker 1: a fucking podcast and nobody can see me except for you.

209
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,440
Speaker 1: I can see and that's really all that matters. It's

210
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,640
Speaker 1: really all that matters. But but like this notion of

211
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:56,320
Speaker 1: um not wanting to miss something, being scared that if

212
00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,280
Speaker 1: I give up an opportunity, maybe it's the one that

213
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:01,520
Speaker 1: would make me the happiest. What I realized and we

214
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,160
Speaker 1: talked a lot about this last time you came on

215
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,200
Speaker 1: the show, as well as we love therapy, and what

216
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:10,880
Speaker 1: I realized in therapy is that that that energy and

217
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,400
Speaker 1: and sort of societal pressure to be a good girl,

218
00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:16,280
Speaker 1: to be a people pleaser, makes me really want to

219
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:18,319
Speaker 1: say yes to everything and do everything for everybody and

220
00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:23,240
Speaker 1: be good. And there's so much power in saying no.

221
00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,280
Speaker 1: And what I've found lately is that when I say

222
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:32,160
Speaker 1: no to things, it sharpens what I am expressing to

223
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:37,000
Speaker 1: the universe is a yes. When I say no, I

224
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:39,680
Speaker 1: don't want to do that. No, that doesn't quite feel right.

225
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,360
Speaker 1: I really appreciate the offer to come and do this,

226
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,439
Speaker 1: but it doesn't fit in with my schedule at current.

227
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:50,400
Speaker 1: It's like it sharpens the vision for what the yeses are.

228
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,760
Speaker 1: And yeah, I think that's very well said. I think

229
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,400
Speaker 1: you're a hundred percent on the money with that. It's

230
00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:57,960
Speaker 1: so funny. I hate the term when I hate when

231
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,040
Speaker 1: everyone goes a hundred a hundred percent. I said it

232
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:04,679
Speaker 1: twice during in the right context. Not It's like when

233
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:07,240
Speaker 1: people say literally and You're like, you're actually being hyperbolic,

234
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:12,840
Speaker 1: You're not being or the new one is correct correct correct?

235
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,920
Speaker 1: Uh so yeah, I think that's absolutely true, Sophia, Like,

236
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,720
Speaker 1: for sure when you say no to something. Also, when

237
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:21,719
Speaker 1: you say no to something, people are you know, I'm

238
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:24,240
Speaker 1: reading this other book about boundaries because my podcast I'm

239
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:26,360
Speaker 1: giving all this advice and I'm like so out of

240
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:28,320
Speaker 1: my wheelhouse with some of the advice that comes in.

241
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:31,200
Speaker 1: I'm like, I gotta fill my brain up with more therapy. Ship.

242
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:34,160
Speaker 1: So anyway, I'm reading this book about setting boundaries and

243
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:37,160
Speaker 1: finding peace and stuff, and it talks about when you

244
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:40,560
Speaker 1: say no to someone like not only does it instill

245
00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:43,600
Speaker 1: like your self worth and like honesty and without making

246
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:46,440
Speaker 1: a dumb excuse, right without saying this, this and this

247
00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:49,000
Speaker 1: and that. It's like this isn't gonna work for me, period.

248
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:54,480
Speaker 1: That's it. That's all I'm saying. Yes, Um, it sends

249
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,640
Speaker 1: a message to the people you're dealing with two and

250
00:12:56,679 --> 00:12:59,360
Speaker 1: it instills a lot of respect. And at first it

251
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:02,160
Speaker 1: feels like scary to say no. You know, I was

252
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,280
Speaker 1: a yes person too for a really long time when

253
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:07,360
Speaker 1: it came to friends, family, work, Like, oh, I want

254
00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:08,560
Speaker 1: to be the good girl. I want to be the

255
00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:11,600
Speaker 1: person that everyone can depends on and then realize you

256
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,920
Speaker 1: realize it's like funk that I don't need to be

257
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,320
Speaker 1: that for everybody. I need to be that for some people,

258
00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:19,920
Speaker 1: and I need to be available for myself mostly, And

259
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:22,120
Speaker 1: so saying no. Some people can get upset with you

260
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,439
Speaker 1: in the beginning, but they get it and then they

261
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,520
Speaker 1: start to understand, you know, and then you set a

262
00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:29,800
Speaker 1: boundary or said no, and you feel good about yourself.

263
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:33,280
Speaker 1: So that's worth it. I like that a lot. Do

264
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:35,840
Speaker 1: you think because you referenced this too, You know, you

265
00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:38,440
Speaker 1: said that you were all in on the special and

266
00:13:38,559 --> 00:13:41,280
Speaker 1: before that you were all in on the most recent book,

267
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,760
Speaker 1: and you know, we really dove into so much of

268
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:48,400
Speaker 1: that last year as well. But I'm curious, just because

269
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:53,680
Speaker 1: you you referenced it so specifically, was getting more still

270
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:57,160
Speaker 1: in preparation to write that book? Do you think it's

271
00:13:57,520 --> 00:14:00,040
Speaker 1: what gave you the ability to go so deep in it,

272
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:03,560
Speaker 1: to be so vulnerable with people. How did it feel

273
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,800
Speaker 1: different from the ones you'd written before. Yeah, I mean

274
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,480
Speaker 1: I've always been very frenetic, Like I always thought I

275
00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:11,840
Speaker 1: was so great at multitasking, but I would be on

276
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:14,480
Speaker 1: the phone, I'd be typing an email and I'd also

277
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,960
Speaker 1: be giving directions to my writer's about like how to

278
00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:19,720
Speaker 1: change a bit. Like I thought I could juggle everything

279
00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:23,000
Speaker 1: because I'm a woman and I'm smart, and when you're multitasking,

280
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,040
Speaker 1: you think you're really good at it. But what you

281
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:27,840
Speaker 1: don't realize is that something is going to suffer, probably

282
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,400
Speaker 1: all of the things you're doing or suffering a tiny bit.

283
00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:34,480
Speaker 1: So be coming still for me without all that noise.

284
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:37,120
Speaker 1: Like I remember my therapist said, Okay, if you're walking

285
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,840
Speaker 1: down the street and you're on your phone, you're doing

286
00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:42,080
Speaker 1: two things poorly. And I was like, and I'm like,

287
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,000
Speaker 1: so we're supposed to walk down the street just like

288
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:47,200
Speaker 1: staring at the trees. He goes, yes, yes, that's walking.

289
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:50,000
Speaker 1: Like stop, sit. If you're gonna be on your phone,

290
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,280
Speaker 1: then you a lot the fifteen minutes that you're gonna

291
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,240
Speaker 1: sit and be on your phone and focus on that.

292
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,480
Speaker 1: If you're walking down the street, that's a separate thing.

293
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:59,440
Speaker 1: And I was like, And that kind of changed everything

294
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:02,680
Speaker 1: for me because I realized when I come down to

295
00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,560
Speaker 1: my kitchen in the morning, I have like the refrigerator

296
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,320
Speaker 1: door open, I'm making a shake I have like one

297
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,960
Speaker 1: hand filled with cream cheese. I have my phone in

298
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:15,600
Speaker 1: my hand. I'm reading Politico. I'm like, oh, that's what

299
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:18,600
Speaker 1: you mean by taking a step. And so you can't

300
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,680
Speaker 1: be moved so slowly and so intentionally throughout your day,

301
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,480
Speaker 1: but you actually can try to really do one thing

302
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:27,920
Speaker 1: at a time and see how that affects your life.

303
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:30,800
Speaker 1: And it does have a big impact. So getting still

304
00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:33,360
Speaker 1: for me was totally about that. You know, I had

305
00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:36,360
Speaker 1: never sat still. I remember he would sit there and

306
00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:38,560
Speaker 1: I'd be like looking at him in therapy and I'd

307
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:40,800
Speaker 1: say something about my dad never picking me up from

308
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:44,400
Speaker 1: Hebrew School or something, and he'd be like stop, stop,

309
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:47,360
Speaker 1: sit with that. And I'm like, oh, he wants me

310
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,440
Speaker 1: to cry, you know, and I'd be like, a funk,

311
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,640
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna cry about this. This was like our

312
00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:54,520
Speaker 1: whole family's thing. No one, No one got picked up

313
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,760
Speaker 1: from Hebrew school. My parents just would forget about all

314
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,760
Speaker 1: of us. And and he was like, no, no, no no,

315
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,960
Speaker 1: it's abandonment, like your father abandoned you. And I was like, well,

316
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:05,800
Speaker 1: that's dramatic, and he'd like stop, you need to sit

317
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:08,960
Speaker 1: and like sit with that feeling. Sit with the feeling

318
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:13,280
Speaker 1: of not being picked up from school, and so for like, overall,

319
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:15,520
Speaker 1: if you inject that into your whole life and you

320
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,760
Speaker 1: feel something, if I get my feelings hurt or if

321
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,640
Speaker 1: something happens that I don't feel good about, I do

322
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,760
Speaker 1: sit with it and I let it, like I let

323
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,440
Speaker 1: myself feel things in a different way. So for me

324
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:28,200
Speaker 1: to sit and write that book was definitely I was

325
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,560
Speaker 1: definitely in a different space in my life for sure.

326
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,240
Speaker 1: And I also couldn't wait to get it out because

327
00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,280
Speaker 1: I couldn't wait for people to see and hear what

328
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,160
Speaker 1: I had to say about it, because I knew so

329
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,040
Speaker 1: many people would be like, oh wait, I have that.

330
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:45,600
Speaker 1: I'm angry, I'm moody, I'm impatient. So yeah, sitting still

331
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:48,160
Speaker 1: has helped me a lot with my life. And anytime

332
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:51,760
Speaker 1: I get stressed, it's just like my reactivity is very

333
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:55,320
Speaker 1: different than what it used to bate. Yeah, and that

334
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:59,680
Speaker 1: to me feels like such an easy marker of growth,

335
00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:04,679
Speaker 1: Like when I react to something slowly, because you know,

336
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:08,040
Speaker 1: I can be like a real hotheaded Italian and when

337
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,000
Speaker 1: I react to something a little more slowly and go

338
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:12,800
Speaker 1: I wonder what this person was thinking when they decided

339
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,520
Speaker 1: to make that statement or phrase this in this way.

340
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:19,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, look at me being a grown up. Oh

341
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,879
Speaker 1: my god. It's like it's fascinating in that, Isn't it

342
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,600
Speaker 1: weird though, that we grow up before we grow up right,

343
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,560
Speaker 1: Like we're we're all adults, and I'm like, wait, I'm

344
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:31,080
Speaker 1: still a baby. Like last night, I was at my

345
00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:34,200
Speaker 1: friend's birthday and somebody asked me how old do I feel?

346
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:37,520
Speaker 1: And I was like forty. Oh, I think I'll always

347
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:40,200
Speaker 1: feel forty because I always felt slightly immature. But now

348
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:43,280
Speaker 1: I feel like like a woman, and I never felt

349
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,480
Speaker 1: that way my thirties. You know, Like I'm like, oh,

350
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,600
Speaker 1: I'm an adult and I've got this, and I have

351
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:50,960
Speaker 1: my little girl version of myself. That's the scared, insecure

352
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,880
Speaker 1: kind of thing, that voice that comes up every once

353
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,959
Speaker 1: in a while that is scared or fearful, and I'm like,

354
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,400
Speaker 1: no, no no, I'm here. Now I'm the adult. I'm gonna

355
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,679
Speaker 1: take care of both. Was like that kind of psychology, Yeah,

356
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,159
Speaker 1: I feel that too. It's really weird to realize what

357
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:08,080
Speaker 1: a grown up I am. Like one of my best

358
00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:10,480
Speaker 1: friends is about to turn forty and I'm like, we

359
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:14,760
Speaker 1: are about to be what what what like, I can't.

360
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:21,400
Speaker 1: I I finally feel like I'm thirty three, finally, and

361
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,440
Speaker 1: and it's weird, and and it's like, you're right. We

362
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,679
Speaker 1: we grow up and we also have all these you know,

363
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,000
Speaker 1: if you start working young, like you and I both did,

364
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,760
Speaker 1: you have all these kind of very adult opportunities, and

365
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,960
Speaker 1: nobody's telling you what they mean or how to handle them,

366
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,960
Speaker 1: and everyone's telling you to No one will tell you

367
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:42,280
Speaker 1: to take a break, never, because they're like, just work

368
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,920
Speaker 1: yourself to death, because we get all of our percentages.

369
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:48,840
Speaker 1: It's funny too, because I was talking to my girlfriends

370
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:52,879
Speaker 1: Um that I did my first show with recently, and

371
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,720
Speaker 1: something hit me literally this was like three weeks ago,

372
00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:00,720
Speaker 1: and I went, oh my god. We started that show

373
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,879
Speaker 1: when we had just turned twenty one. My girlfriend Hillary

374
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,359
Speaker 1: and I have our birthdays one week apart. And I

375
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:11,320
Speaker 1: was like, dude. I I graduated from an all girls

376
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:15,000
Speaker 1: high school at eighteen. I had been in all girls

377
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,680
Speaker 1: school all through middle school, all through high school. I've

378
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:21,280
Speaker 1: been in three I've been out of all girls school

379
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:24,000
Speaker 1: for three years. When I started working on a TV show,

380
00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:27,240
Speaker 1: and I was like, I went from this little cocoon

381
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:31,320
Speaker 1: with fifty other girls where we wore uniforms and we

382
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:34,840
Speaker 1: were like plotting our futures and talking about activism and

383
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:38,600
Speaker 1: this like staging protests at school to being on a

384
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,840
Speaker 1: TV show where I was playing this like you know,

385
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:46,920
Speaker 1: super liberated like bad girl, and I was like, I've

386
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:51,119
Speaker 1: dated my high school sweetheart from summer camp and like

387
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,679
Speaker 1: a guy who was a computer programmer through college. Like

388
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,280
Speaker 1: I don't know how to do this, And it's just

389
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,439
Speaker 1: so funny to me because I didn't even know at

390
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,679
Speaker 1: the time that I was a baby. I was like

391
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:05,280
Speaker 1: literally a lost kid. And and now I look back

392
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,640
Speaker 1: and I'm like, who let us do that? Who let

393
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:10,679
Speaker 1: us all move to a state where we knew nothing

394
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:15,600
Speaker 1: and no one and just like be working. Yeah, I

395
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,920
Speaker 1: think it's for that age, like in their twenties, to

396
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,480
Speaker 1: you think you are grown up. You know, you're so

397
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,200
Speaker 1: we're so hungry to get out. Like when I was six,

398
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:24,919
Speaker 1: I was like, when am I getting my own place?

399
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,520
Speaker 1: You know, like I need my own apartment from this family.

400
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,639
Speaker 1: They are not on the same page as me. I

401
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,639
Speaker 1: was like, these are not my people. So like you

402
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,560
Speaker 1: you're so thirsty and hungry to grow up, right, Like

403
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:38,679
Speaker 1: you just can't wait and then you do become legal,

404
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:41,120
Speaker 1: and there's that kind of murky area where you think

405
00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:43,080
Speaker 1: you're an adult, but you're not a fucking adult. You

406
00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:45,840
Speaker 1: don't know anything, and you haven't had any life experience.

407
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:49,159
Speaker 1: You're not mature, and it's not until your thirties. You know.

408
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 1: Your twenties are fun and great, but you're not an adult.

409
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:55,200
Speaker 1: You're just a kid. You're in the ultimate fake it

410
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:57,880
Speaker 1: till you make it stage where you're so sure you're

411
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,560
Speaker 1: faking it. Well, Like I remember just being like, well,

412
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,719
Speaker 1: I can't tell anyone. I don't know what a mark is.

413
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,639
Speaker 1: I just have to look around and see where the

414
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 1: other Oh that's oh the mark is the thing on

415
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,960
Speaker 1: the floor with the tape. Okay, I can step on that.

416
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:12,479
Speaker 1: Like I I was so desperate to prove that I

417
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,600
Speaker 1: was a grown up that I didn't ask a lot

418
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,240
Speaker 1: of questions I wanted to. And now looking back, I'm like,

419
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:22,680
Speaker 1: why weren't these people asking asking us if we understood anything?

420
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,760
Speaker 1: Like it's just it's so I don't know, it's crazy

421
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:27,479
Speaker 1: to me, which I guess is also the marker of

422
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:31,200
Speaker 1: being an adult. Yeah, there's also that level, Like for me,

423
00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 1: I know I was really arrogant like I thought I

424
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,480
Speaker 1: knew just because I was successful, and it wasn't a

425
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:38,919
Speaker 1: young age. I was like pretty successful, like once I

426
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:42,760
Speaker 1: turned thirty it started happening, but I was like confident

427
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,639
Speaker 1: about my success and arrogant, like I thought, oh, I

428
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:47,119
Speaker 1: know this, I know how to do this, I know

429
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,440
Speaker 1: how to do that. And then like you get undressed

430
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:52,919
Speaker 1: so many times in this business where you're like metaphorically

431
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:58,520
Speaker 1: speaking and well and speaking actually and let's not forget

432
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,520
Speaker 1: what business we're talking about, but you you become like

433
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,480
Speaker 1: you you realize like, oh, your confidence is like or

434
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,760
Speaker 1: your arrogance. It's one thing to be confident, it's another

435
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:08,879
Speaker 1: thing to be arrogance. I think you know something that

436
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,600
Speaker 1: you don't and to pretend you know something that you don't,

437
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 1: or to answer a question about something that you don't

438
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,840
Speaker 1: know if it's the right answer, but it's your answer,

439
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:22,440
Speaker 1: and you're confident about that answer. Yeah, that's so interesting. Well,

440
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:26,000
Speaker 1: and I feel like, especially when you talk about being

441
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:27,640
Speaker 1: six and being like I gotta get out of here,

442
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:32,600
Speaker 1: when you have a very adult little mind, I think

443
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:36,280
Speaker 1: it gets easier to feel when you finally are in

444
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:40,359
Speaker 1: the acceptable adult range, you're like, oh, I finally made it.

445
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:41,840
Speaker 1: I did it. Look at me, I'm a grown up,

446
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:45,640
Speaker 1: and and it's you want to prove that that it's

447
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:50,960
Speaker 1: right so badly. It's such a weird thing to be

448
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:55,800
Speaker 1: in this sort of moment. There's something about even the

449
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:57,919
Speaker 1: last year and a half, like getting to the end

450
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:01,399
Speaker 1: of the election, and it was the end of the pandemic,

451
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:05,240
Speaker 1: and you know, so many of us were working full

452
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:09,640
Speaker 1: time on this stuff, all from home, figuring out how

453
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,040
Speaker 1: to hustle and do things. And then you know, we

454
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 1: were all like going to the campaign stuff we could

455
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:17,760
Speaker 1: get to, and and right after the election, literally they

456
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,320
Speaker 1: called it on that Saturday. We celebrated, we cried, We

457
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,439
Speaker 1: felt this wave of relief. And then I had to

458
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 1: drive out to Utah to do this movie that had

459
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,560
Speaker 1: been delayed for almost a year. And we were doing

460
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:31,359
Speaker 1: it in a pod, literally, the whole cast living in

461
00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:33,800
Speaker 1: a house together, filming in the house, and then the

462
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 1: crew was in the houses on either side, and nobody

463
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 1: was in or out. For a month. We were there together.

464
00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:43,240
Speaker 1: Over Thanksgiving, we had this like really weird, just little

465
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:46,240
Speaker 1: like rug Rats Thanksgiving all together. We were like, none

466
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 1: of our families here should we FaceTime and then like

467
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:52,200
Speaker 1: what does this mean? And and I I remember the

468
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 1: sort of wave of relief at being somewhere where we

469
00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:00,480
Speaker 1: had made a rule. It was like no phone on set,

470
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 1: no social media from here. You know, we're going to

471
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:07,359
Speaker 1: just really be in this together. And it was that

472
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,959
Speaker 1: opportunity to really focus on one thing. And it felt

473
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 1: really weird because we've been so focused on, you know,

474
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 1: attempting to each do our part to perhaps save democracy.

475
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:21,480
Speaker 1: And then I was like, going to do this story,

476
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 1: you know, to make these people be real. And the

477
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 1: dissonance was so weird. But I thought a lot about

478
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 1: essentialism and I was like, well, I did that thing

479
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:33,480
Speaker 1: all year and I tried to do it really well,

480
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:35,520
Speaker 1: and now I'm going to do this thing and I'm

481
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,640
Speaker 1: not gonna do anything else. And it it was interesting

482
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:42,600
Speaker 1: because I didn't feel like I was missing anything and

483
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,679
Speaker 1: I felt like I could really just be present and

484
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 1: that felt like another marker of of growth. Yeah. One

485
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,119
Speaker 1: thing that I read once that also stuck out to

486
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:55,480
Speaker 1: me was I think it was like kartle Orti pak

487
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:59,120
Speaker 1: said every moment that your present leads to the next

488
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 1: successful moment, right, So like, if you're distracted your entire

489
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:06,440
Speaker 1: morning and you're not focused and mindful, then your whole

490
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,840
Speaker 1: day is kind of shot because you're not really focused

491
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,400
Speaker 1: in present. So like, even if you're in a conversation

492
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,400
Speaker 1: like we're in right now, we're both focused and present

493
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:17,679
Speaker 1: in the conversation, and like that does lead to the

494
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 1: next moment, like all you have to worry, Like, you

495
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,160
Speaker 1: can't worry about what's happening the rest of the day.

496
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,720
Speaker 1: Even in our business, there are things that are going

497
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:27,159
Speaker 1: to stress you out. But the bigger gift you can

498
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:30,280
Speaker 1: give any moment is to be completely present, and then

499
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:32,800
Speaker 1: you almost can let everything else fall away because if

500
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 1: you are there, you will be there. I like that. Yeah,

501
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,960
Speaker 1: that's helpful to me because you can stress and worry

502
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,680
Speaker 1: about getting to the airport or about doing an interview,

503
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 1: or what are you gonna say on this show? Or

504
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:48,359
Speaker 1: how are you going to handle this conversation, But it

505
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 1: really just doesn't matter. None of that matters unless you

506
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:55,959
Speaker 1: are really in the moment. Yeah. Yeah, And and I

507
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 1: like even what it does for your brain in terms

508
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:02,639
Speaker 1: of being motive vational to think, oh, no, being present

509
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:07,320
Speaker 1: actually sets me up for success. It's not just about

510
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:10,120
Speaker 1: oh I'm calm or look at me I figured out

511
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:12,320
Speaker 1: how to be present. Like it's like, I don't know,

512
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 1: being here actually will make you more successful. Yeah, yeah,

513
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:19,720
Speaker 1: being they're paying attention in the moment, like not running

514
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 1: around like you're chicken with your head cut off. Obviously

515
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:26,920
Speaker 1: those days around unavoidable sometimes, but as as a general rule,

516
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:31,440
Speaker 1: I like to just I like to remind myself of that. Yeah,

517
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:35,120
Speaker 1: I really like that. Do you find you know, you're

518
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 1: referencing these books you've read that have given you these

519
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:41,640
Speaker 1: sort of AHAs and helped you evolve, and then you're

520
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:44,239
Speaker 1: talking about how because you're doing your podcast and you're

521
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:46,199
Speaker 1: going to give all these people advice. You're reading all

522
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 1: these books about therapy and all this stuff. What what

523
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 1: made you say? That's what I want to do. I

524
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:56,199
Speaker 1: want to go and answer questions because you know, you

525
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 1: talk about your career. You talk about this business. You

526
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 1: have like a lightning in a bottle, six testful career

527
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:05,439
Speaker 1: as a comedian. You know, you've written six bestsellers. You

528
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:11,159
Speaker 1: you are certainly not looking around for material or what

529
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:14,720
Speaker 1: to do next. You you are a well of creativity,

530
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:17,440
Speaker 1: and yet you opened up to the world in your

531
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 1: most vulnerable you know, book and special ever and and

532
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 1: got really frank about therapy and growth and mental health

533
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:27,720
Speaker 1: and all of this stuff. And now you're like, let

534
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 1: me help other people do it. What leads you there?

535
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:35,520
Speaker 1: Because that feels I love it, because this is all

536
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:36,640
Speaker 1: I want to do all day. I want to talk

537
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,120
Speaker 1: to people about their ship and their trauma and their

538
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 1: laughter and whatever. But I guess I just wonder, like

539
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:44,920
Speaker 1: what made you say, Oh, that's where I want to

540
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 1: go next. Not I'm going to go do another special.

541
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 1: I'm gonna write another book. But you're like, I want

542
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 1: to go talk to other people about their stuff. What

543
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:58,560
Speaker 1: what I got bombarded? I mean, I've always been that friend,

544
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:00,399
Speaker 1: Like I'm always a friend that pe will come to

545
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:04,200
Speaker 1: when they're going through difficult time or crisis. I'm that person.

546
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:06,600
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm like a crisis manager. That is my

547
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:09,600
Speaker 1: sweet spot. I'm good, I'm tough. I will fucking pick

548
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:11,520
Speaker 1: you up off the floor, you know what I mean,

549
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:14,159
Speaker 1: and make sure you know that you're special and worthwhile

550
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:18,479
Speaker 1: and that life is beginning, not over. So I've always

551
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 1: been that way, and then writing the book obviously brought

552
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 1: that on from like outsiders on Instagram and d m

553
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:25,960
Speaker 1: s and Facebook and all that ship I would just

554
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:29,320
Speaker 1: get so many messages about like life advice and what

555
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,040
Speaker 1: to do, or people pouring their hearts out, and I

556
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:34,240
Speaker 1: just thought, I am that friend that everybody kind of

557
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 1: needs a little extra boost from. I will tell you

558
00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 1: the truth, whether you want to hear it or not,

559
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,040
Speaker 1: and I will get you going in the direction that's

560
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 1: going to be most beneficial to your happiness and to

561
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:47,640
Speaker 1: your fullness and like to become a self actualized, awesome

562
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:51,320
Speaker 1: fucking person, a badass. And so I thought, oh, when

563
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 1: I'm looking at my projects now, I put it. I

564
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 1: put a real like I try very hard to figure

565
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 1: out a way that it's not just about me and

566
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:00,600
Speaker 1: it's not just a vanity project and I'm just cutting

567
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:04,160
Speaker 1: a check. I want to contribute from now on, and

568
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 1: so everything I do now is about that. It's like, Okay,

569
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 1: how can I include others, unsuspecting others? How can I

570
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,920
Speaker 1: bring in other people to this project? And so for

571
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, my new podcast, it was like it was

572
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:19,600
Speaker 1: just it was just obvious. I had to deal with

573
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:21,840
Speaker 1: I Heart for my last podcast, and they said, you know,

574
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:23,280
Speaker 1: when you want to come back and do another one,

575
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:26,880
Speaker 1: let us know you have to at some point so

576
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 1: you're legally required. And so I took like a year

577
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,680
Speaker 1: from it and thought about it, and then I was like, oh, advice,

578
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 1: dear Chelsea. I'm like, who better to give advice than me?

579
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,880
Speaker 1: I'm not a doctor, I'm not a psychologist. I've been

580
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 1: giving on solicited advice to strangers since the beginning of time,

581
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 1: So why not actually do it now in a way

582
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 1: that's that's nice and helpful and fun. I mean, it's

583
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 1: fun obviously funny because I can't do anything without humor involved,

584
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 1: because otherwise I just don't think the medicine goes down.

585
00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:59,840
Speaker 1: So I get to incorporate all of those things, and

586
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 1: and um, I'm really liking it way more than I

587
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:06,120
Speaker 1: had anticipated. I just love fucking talking to real people,

588
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I love interpersonal dynamics and

589
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 1: sibling like rivalries and parents, people's parents who are too

590
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 1: conservative who can't accept them coming out or being trans

591
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:23,480
Speaker 1: like that stuff I am all about, and especially to

592
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:27,600
Speaker 1: be able to be a support for people where they

593
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,360
Speaker 1: know you're not being supportive of them because you have

594
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:32,840
Speaker 1: some attachment. It's like, I'm not I don't have to

595
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 1: like you. I like you, And sometimes that is such

596
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:39,800
Speaker 1: a revelatory thing for people who feel judged in the

597
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 1: confines of their own life. So that I mean people

598
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:44,960
Speaker 1: people call in with like serious ship. You know. One

599
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 1: guy called in and he was a moron asking, well

600
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 1: not a moron, but he was asking if you could

601
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:52,560
Speaker 1: micro dose cocaine because he was doing little bumps of

602
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 1: cocaine at work and he was being really productive, and

603
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 1: his whole office staff that he was doing a great

604
00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 1: job and should he stop because he's getting such great

605
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 1: feet back. I'm like, first of all, your cokehead, there's

606
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:07,080
Speaker 1: no micro dosyday, and that's not a thing. But and

607
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 1: then there are really like serious ones about like life decisions.

608
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 1: This woman called in and she was living with her

609
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:16,680
Speaker 1: sister who had Down syndrome, who has down syndrome for COVID.

610
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 1: She took her in from her assisted living facility, and

611
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 1: she said, I don't want to send my sister back,

612
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:24,240
Speaker 1: but I don't know if I can take the responsibility.

613
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:26,760
Speaker 1: Like we've bonded so much and I want her to

614
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:29,080
Speaker 1: be you know, I'm thinking about having her stay with

615
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,720
Speaker 1: me and live with me permanently, she said, But I

616
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 1: mean I think that I'm forfeiting any hopes of getting

617
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:38,520
Speaker 1: married or meeting somebody or having children, and I was like, no,

618
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 1: you're not. Those two things don't exclude each other. Like

619
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 1: bringing your sister in is just gonna attract the right guy,

620
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 1: not the wrong guy, you know. So there's stuff like that.

621
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:50,760
Speaker 1: And then we have like experts call in when I'm

622
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 1: a little bit out of my realm and I don't

623
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about if it's about something to

624
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 1: do with the pregnancy, but um, it's very fulfilling to

625
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 1: actually help people. And you know, most people call in

626
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 1: are very like they're so relieved. So many people have

627
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:07,440
Speaker 1: just burst into tears right when we've said this is

628
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:09,760
Speaker 1: everything's gonna be okay, like you, this is what you're

629
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 1: gonna do, And it's just the relief of actually saying it,

630
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 1: the relief of putting your problem out there. Many people

631
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:20,240
Speaker 1: haven't confided in anyone already, and some people just need

632
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 1: a buddy and they just need that extra push. Yeah. Well,

633
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 1: and I think there's something that our our fear about rejection,

634
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 1: our fear about our you know, underbelly parts, really can

635
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 1: keep us in denial. And then it becomes like the

636
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:42,200
Speaker 1: boogeyman in the closet it becomes this big monster when

637
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,840
Speaker 1: in reality it isn't. And when you can speak something

638
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 1: and let the pressure out. I think about it like

639
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:49,960
Speaker 1: a balloon deflating and you go like, oh, look how

640
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,840
Speaker 1: small this is. When it was all blown up, it

641
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:57,160
Speaker 1: looked huge. And it's so important to do exactly what

642
00:32:57,200 --> 00:33:00,000
Speaker 1: you're discussing, to give people a place just to voice,

643
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 1: sit and and let it out. Yeah, because I think

644
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,400
Speaker 1: a lot of us also, you know, we have all

645
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:09,240
Speaker 1: these like voices in our heads and our alter egos

646
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:12,240
Speaker 1: and our ego which is fucking huge, telling us to

647
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:15,040
Speaker 1: do things, and it's like you need a constant reminder

648
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:17,440
Speaker 1: to like drop all of that noise away, Just drop

649
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 1: all of that noise away, and get in touch with

650
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 1: like how you really feel, What does your guts say

651
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 1: about a situation? Right? Because we've all lost that ability,

652
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 1: not all, but a lot of us lose that ability

653
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:29,840
Speaker 1: frequently and we forget about it. And like all you

654
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 1: have to do is like sit with your eyes closed,

655
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:35,280
Speaker 1: breathing for three minutes, thinking about some major life decision

656
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 1: and the answer is inside of you. It always is.

657
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 1: You always know what to do. Do you think that's

658
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:43,719
Speaker 1: an idea or or a truth that therapy helped you

659
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:46,800
Speaker 1: get to. I think I got that more from meditation,

660
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 1: you know, Like there's a I do a lot of

661
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 1: meditation every day just to you know, de counto myself.

662
00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 1: Every morning, I have to wake up like two hours

663
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 1: earlier than the rest of the population, just so I

664
00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 1: can just be pleasant, you know, And I like, I

665
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:01,680
Speaker 1: have to work with myself. I have to work with

666
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 1: my natural predilections and my natural instincts, and over time

667
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 1: it just diminished, you know, my anger, my rage and

668
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:11,840
Speaker 1: all of the stuff that wasn't working for me anymore

669
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:15,560
Speaker 1: kind of diminished. But I think that, yes, you have

670
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:18,239
Speaker 1: to just remind yourself that your intuition, your gut is

671
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:20,880
Speaker 1: with you, like you're right, you know, listen to yourself

672
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 1: all the time, and we forget to do that. I know,

673
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:26,719
Speaker 1: I get opinions for my circle of people, you know,

674
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 1: I have my orbit of people where if I'm not

675
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,279
Speaker 1: sure something, I asked six of them and I get

676
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:34,040
Speaker 1: six different answers, and then I'm like, well, funk, I

677
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:36,360
Speaker 1: don't know what to do. And then I'm like, well, wait,

678
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 1: you have the answer. You don't need all these people

679
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:42,359
Speaker 1: weighing in. You have the answer. Yeah, when you think

680
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:45,319
Speaker 1: about that in terms of the answers people are looking for.

681
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:47,959
Speaker 1: When they call in, and I love you talking about

682
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 1: how you've got thoughts and opinions, and then you also

683
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 1: call experts, you're obviously being really open and really direct

684
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,480
Speaker 1: about topics that a lot of people are shying away from,

685
00:34:57,480 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 1: and a lot of the people calling in are shying

686
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:02,720
Speaker 1: away from in their own lives. Is there like any

687
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 1: topic that you secretly hope never comes up? Or are

688
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:09,320
Speaker 1: you ready for all of it? Oh? I don't know, God,

689
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 1: I haven't thought about that, but yeah, I'm ready. You

690
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 1: know me. I love I love it. I love being open,

691
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:17,759
Speaker 1: and I want more people to be I want people

692
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:21,439
Speaker 1: to be feel empowered and emboldened. That's really what I want,

693
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:26,040
Speaker 1: especially women and every marginalized group. You know, it's enough already,

694
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:28,000
Speaker 1: and we need to sing each other's praises and we

695
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 1: need to lift each other up because the time is now.

696
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 1: And so that's really my kind of goal, Like my happy,

697
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:37,840
Speaker 1: go lucky vibe about it all. I just I'm glad

698
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,080
Speaker 1: that I chose to do this on the podcast rather

699
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:42,719
Speaker 1: than just doing something that I could have gotten convinced

700
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 1: to do or something like the idea had to come

701
00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 1: from me again, like what I was just saying before,

702
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 1: The idea had to come from within me, not from

703
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:53,759
Speaker 1: other people. Yeah, I love that something. I was really

704
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 1: curious about that you did, because I imagine there's so

705
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,319
Speaker 1: many things that make you look at your life and

706
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:01,879
Speaker 1: really resonate with things you've been through when you listen

707
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:05,760
Speaker 1: to people tell their stories. And I was laughing because

708
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:09,359
Speaker 1: one of your listeners called in and you recommended that

709
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 1: they do a thirty day weed detox and then with them.

710
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 1: I know, but Chelsea, you love weed. I mean, you

711
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:19,120
Speaker 1: literally just wrote an article for Time magazine about marijuana

712
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 1: reform and I'm like, and here too, you're UFCBD product.

713
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,600
Speaker 1: What are you tell me about this? I just I

714
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:30,160
Speaker 1: was like loving it and laughing and flabbergasted. And how

715
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,800
Speaker 1: did it go and why did you recommend it? I need,

716
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:35,400
Speaker 1: I really need to know a lot about this. Well.

717
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:38,040
Speaker 1: Shane was his name. He was a caller who called

718
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 1: in and he's like, I'm high all the time, and

719
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:43,840
Speaker 1: I my roommates get high all the time. I smoke

720
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 1: every day and I can't get high anymore. And I'm like, well,

721
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:48,720
Speaker 1: if you can't get high anymore, then stop smoking, because

722
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:52,319
Speaker 1: what's the fucking point and you need a break. And

723
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 1: during my I haven't launched my weed brand yet. It's

724
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:57,120
Speaker 1: been in the works for about two years now, so

725
00:36:57,560 --> 00:36:59,600
Speaker 1: covid was a little bit of a hiccup. But anyway,

726
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:04,000
Speaker 1: when I was researching my weedline, which I will launch eventually,

727
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:07,360
Speaker 1: at some point, I was learned that you have to

728
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:09,840
Speaker 1: take a month off if you're a heavy cannabis user.

729
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:11,880
Speaker 1: You have to take a month a year off or

730
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:15,319
Speaker 1: a week every month. And I'm like, oh I So

731
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:17,359
Speaker 1: I said that to him and he was like, oh,

732
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:18,839
Speaker 1: I don't know if I could take a month off,

733
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:22,400
Speaker 1: and he was kind of wibbling, wobbly and vacillating, and

734
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:24,600
Speaker 1: I said, all right, I'll do it with you. And

735
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 1: I didn't really think I could do it, but I

736
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:28,200
Speaker 1: did it. I did it for thirty days and it

737
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:31,239
Speaker 1: felt great, and it's a good reminder also to get

738
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:33,680
Speaker 1: you know, and now I and you know what. The

739
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:36,759
Speaker 1: first time I smell after that thirty days, I took

740
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:39,120
Speaker 1: he enjoy, got up and had to sit right back

741
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:42,120
Speaker 1: down because I was so lightheaded. I was like, I'm like,

742
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 1: I can't even finish this dogwalker. Oh my God, that's great.

743
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:49,960
Speaker 1: That's important though. I mean it's like we gotta keep

744
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,160
Speaker 1: our tolerance is a little lower so we can stay

745
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:55,800
Speaker 1: cheap dates, especially when like we're the ones paying for everything,

746
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 1: right exactly, You're like, I don't really need to I

747
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:02,719
Speaker 1: don't want to need three of this. I want to

748
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:05,680
Speaker 1: need one, right, And it's nice to be able to

749
00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:07,359
Speaker 1: take things out of your life and in and out

750
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:09,279
Speaker 1: of your life. It's a good reminder of how in

751
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:12,279
Speaker 1: control you are, and like, you know, and the willpower

752
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:14,000
Speaker 1: that a lot of people don't think that they have

753
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 1: that you do have. We all have a reservoir of

754
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 1: it inside of us, and it's just a matter of

755
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:22,279
Speaker 1: tapping into it enough. It's just like bravery, you know,

756
00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:24,719
Speaker 1: like people are like, I'm not brave like that. It's

757
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:27,520
Speaker 1: like you have it, you just haven't exercised it. And

758
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 1: it's not for everybody, but it is fun once you

759
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:33,320
Speaker 1: can tap into something and challenge yourself and come out,

760
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:35,600
Speaker 1: you know, victorious on the other side, and you're like, yeah,

761
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:38,280
Speaker 1: it took thirty days off of smoking weed, no problem.

762
00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:42,080
Speaker 1: Something that I thought was so interesting in a conversation

763
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:43,919
Speaker 1: with a friend. We were talking about when we set

764
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:47,320
Speaker 1: goals and then don't stick to them. And how essentially

765
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 1: what that's doing is telling our subconscious, telling our our

766
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 1: inner self that we don't value ourselves enough to do so.

767
00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:57,840
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, man, that that makes that

768
00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:01,759
Speaker 1: really unpleasant. It made me really reevaluate. Oh. If I

769
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 1: say I'm going to do something, I need to do

770
00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:07,480
Speaker 1: it because otherwise I'm not. I'm telling myself I'm unreliable.

771
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 1: And I would never be unreliable for a friend, So

772
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:13,799
Speaker 1: why would I be unreliable for myself? Yeah, I have

773
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 1: that thing where I always think like someone's watching me,

774
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:19,400
Speaker 1: Like I assume that I'm being recorded at all times,

775
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 1: so that I always do the right thing, because but

776
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:25,120
Speaker 1: that's the recording. Is that voice in my head going, No,

777
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:26,960
Speaker 1: you said you were going to do this. You need

778
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 1: to follow through with this, even when there's no one

779
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:32,560
Speaker 1: in my house and no one's looking at think I

780
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:35,880
Speaker 1: can't cheat then because in my mind somebody is watching.

781
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,400
Speaker 1: I'm not going to light up a joint then. So

782
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:40,560
Speaker 1: it is it is about that. It's about like you

783
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 1: trust in yourself and honoring yourself absolutely and whatever, because

784
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:47,200
Speaker 1: if it takes to hold yourself accountable, even if it's

785
00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 1: making up that you're on candid camera twenty four hours

786
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:50,840
Speaker 1: a day. You gotta do it. It's like when a

787
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:52,439
Speaker 1: friend says, Hey, I have to tell you something, don't

788
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:54,719
Speaker 1: say anything, and it's like, I want to make sure

789
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:57,320
Speaker 1: that I know for sure that I will not say anything.

790
00:39:57,760 --> 00:39:59,600
Speaker 1: You kind of want to not only be able to

791
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,000
Speaker 1: make this is to yourself, but when you can promise

792
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 1: on honor yourself, then you can honor everybody in your life. Yeah.

793
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:10,319
Speaker 1: I really like that. I'm curious because when you talk

794
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:14,440
Speaker 1: about that, when you talk about essentially walking through life

795
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 1: with a sense of honor, that brings me back to

796
00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 1: political work, to activism, because I think it's honorable to

797
00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 1: stand up for other people. And we're in ca hoots

798
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:31,040
Speaker 1: on all the things and something that you did recently,

799
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:33,160
Speaker 1: which you know, we were just referencing. You wrote this

800
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 1: article for Time about what it means to really come

801
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:40,840
Speaker 1: face to face with our history of criminalizing weed users

802
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,879
Speaker 1: in America, and you talk in this article about how

803
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:47,320
Speaker 1: marijuana criminalization has always hurt people of color the most,

804
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:52,160
Speaker 1: how it's far past time for reform. Um. It's not

805
00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:55,720
Speaker 1: lost on any of us that it's like white tech bros.

806
00:40:55,719 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 1: And investors making money in the weed scene. Now what

807
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 1: brought you the air? Was it realizing that you have

808
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:05,920
Speaker 1: the privilege of being a user and developing, you know,

809
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:10,040
Speaker 1: a line that other people are behind bars for what?

810
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:11,759
Speaker 1: What was the thing that really brought you to that

811
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 1: moment of reckoning and made you want to write about

812
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:17,800
Speaker 1: it and and step out as you know an advocate. Well,

813
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:21,799
Speaker 1: I was developing my cannabis line, and yeah, I was like,

814
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,480
Speaker 1: we I won't do anything unless a portion of the

815
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:29,239
Speaker 1: proceeds go to decriminalization of marijuana, decarceration of people who

816
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:32,239
Speaker 1: have been convicted and are serving ten to fifteen year

817
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:35,400
Speaker 1: sentences for a fucking dime bag, you know. Um, I

818
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:38,000
Speaker 1: mean I always have one eye on the like political

819
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:42,120
Speaker 1: aspect of things, and for me, I think, well, for

820
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:45,680
Speaker 1: any white person in the cannabis industry, they should be

821
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:48,400
Speaker 1: fucking focused on that there are people in jail for nothing,

822
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:52,280
Speaker 1: for nothing, you know. And and the criminalization of cannabis

823
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:55,160
Speaker 1: also in this country, something that grows from the ground,

824
00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:58,120
Speaker 1: that is from the earth. To criminalize it, it was

825
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 1: a war on black people. It was a or on

826
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 1: every person of color in this country. So to really

827
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:06,080
Speaker 1: break it down and understand where it came from, and

828
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:09,600
Speaker 1: how these laws were made and who they impacted. It

829
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 1: paints a very clear picture of the social justice work

830
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:15,480
Speaker 1: that needs to be incorporated into any sort of branding

831
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 1: opportunity that comes our way. And we just get so

832
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:22,920
Speaker 1: many opportunities being in this business being white, pretty girls.

833
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 1: You better fucking use it the right way. Don't be

834
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:27,680
Speaker 1: an asshole. And I don't ever want to be an asshole.

835
00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:31,680
Speaker 1: I would rather look like an asshole than be an asshole,

836
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So, and so there's a difference.

837
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:38,280
Speaker 1: Your actions have to back up what what you're talking

838
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:41,719
Speaker 1: and the ideas that you're pushing. So yeah, learning more

839
00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:44,000
Speaker 1: about the people that are spending time in prison for

840
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 1: this is heartbreaking. And if you don't know about it,

841
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:48,839
Speaker 1: I mean, there are a million different places to learn

842
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:50,359
Speaker 1: about it. I'm trying to think of the best one

843
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:51,959
Speaker 1: that I can think of off the top of my head.

844
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:55,360
Speaker 1: But I remember in Hello Privilege, It's me Chelsea, this

845
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:57,960
Speaker 1: documentary I did for Netflix about my own white privilege,

846
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 1: because I remember learning about my own white privilege and

847
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:04,000
Speaker 1: being like, oh god, the like wake up, wake up,

848
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:07,719
Speaker 1: wake up. I didn't understand all the nuances of this,

849
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:10,840
Speaker 1: I thought we had been making progress. I didn't understand.

850
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:13,839
Speaker 1: And so when you have that kind of wake up call,

851
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,040
Speaker 1: you're like, Okay, well, everything I have to do has

852
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:19,480
Speaker 1: to benefit this, and I did. When I interviewed somebody

853
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:23,440
Speaker 1: during that documentary, they really got into the nitty gritty

854
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:28,319
Speaker 1: of of the decarceration efforts on behalf of Keno people

855
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:30,920
Speaker 1: who are in jail for cannabis, and I read a

856
00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:34,080
Speaker 1: ton at that time about it, and it's just it's sickening.

857
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:36,480
Speaker 1: It's absolutely sickening. And now a lot of them have

858
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:39,960
Speaker 1: been released, but not nearly enough. I mean, we haven't

859
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 1: made a dent. And also America has the biggest prison

860
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:46,200
Speaker 1: population in the whole entire world. So we've got big

861
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 1: problems on our hands. And one of the first problems

862
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:53,400
Speaker 1: is just obviously the climate is the most pressing matter

863
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:56,280
Speaker 1: that we have, but racial justice is the most pressing

864
00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:59,800
Speaker 1: matter that we have. Like it is, it affects every

865
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:02,360
Speaker 1: ing in our lives. It doesn't matter if you're white

866
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:05,760
Speaker 1: or brown, or black, or red or green or yellow.

867
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:11,200
Speaker 1: Racial injustice is a disservice to every single person. And

868
00:44:11,239 --> 00:44:13,799
Speaker 1: I think to your point about really learning what the

869
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:18,320
Speaker 1: systems look like when you start to actually get deep

870
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 1: into the spaces where that learning is happening, and you

871
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:24,000
Speaker 1: do your reading and you learn about the way that

872
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:28,120
Speaker 1: these campaigns have been run against people, to criminalize people,

873
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:31,359
Speaker 1: to demonize certain populations, and you look at the fact

874
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:37,080
Speaker 1: that our prison system is largely for profit. We incentivize

875
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:44,520
Speaker 1: carceole punishment, we do not incentivize communities, community support, treatment,

876
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:48,560
Speaker 1: housing the homeless. And then you go, oh, okay, so

877
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:53,280
Speaker 1: our budget, the way we've structured our society literally proves

878
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,680
Speaker 1: in the math. It doesn't matter what you believe in

879
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:59,840
Speaker 1: that this is just these are facts on paper. The

880
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:05,400
Speaker 1: we are incentivized to put people in systems of punishment

881
00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:08,160
Speaker 1: so other people can get rich off of it, and

882
00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:11,200
Speaker 1: that that's the kind of thing that I think you're

883
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 1: so wisely referring to when you look and you learn

884
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:17,400
Speaker 1: how deep it goes, and you go, oh, I have

885
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:22,960
Speaker 1: to do whatever my part is in talking about this,

886
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:26,399
Speaker 1: advocating to change this, educating other people about it, talking

887
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:29,080
Speaker 1: to people who look like me about it, making sure

888
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:31,480
Speaker 1: that they know, and standing up you know, like, we're

889
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:33,440
Speaker 1: at a point now and I know you know this, Sofia,

890
00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:36,759
Speaker 1: because we're friends and we've hung out before and we

891
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,640
Speaker 1: you know, I understand where you're coming from too. But

892
00:45:39,719 --> 00:45:42,120
Speaker 1: it's also about being in these conversations with your white

893
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:44,960
Speaker 1: friends and fucking saying ship when somebody says something that's

894
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:49,439
Speaker 1: even borderline racist or misogynist, uh, misogynistic in any way.

895
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:51,279
Speaker 1: You know, my had a friend and Whistler, and we

896
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:54,400
Speaker 1: were talking about white male patriarchy. We were backcountry skiing

897
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:57,440
Speaker 1: and we had this fucking fierce female guide and I

898
00:45:57,480 --> 00:45:59,560
Speaker 1: was so turned on by her. I was like, you

899
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:03,200
Speaker 1: are sucking fear. These Canadian women are so strong they

900
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:05,200
Speaker 1: could do anything a man can do. And you know,

901
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:07,719
Speaker 1: we have to dismantle our own notion of like white

902
00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:09,520
Speaker 1: man like I look at men as as if they're

903
00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:12,600
Speaker 1: physically stronger. That's not the case. It's not like that.

904
00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:15,840
Speaker 1: Like we've been duped in our thinking. You know, I

905
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:17,920
Speaker 1: look at men for certain things, and you have to

906
00:46:17,960 --> 00:46:21,279
Speaker 1: kind of dismantle your own um social construct of what

907
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:24,280
Speaker 1: you've been taught. Right, And I remember we're having this conversation.

908
00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 1: We're in these mountain, these mountains called the Tantalus Mountain Range,

909
00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:29,640
Speaker 1: and we had two white guys with us, and she

910
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:31,759
Speaker 1: was talking about how she'll have groups of six men

911
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:33,560
Speaker 1: and tell them what to do and what to ski,

912
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:36,319
Speaker 1: and she's looking out for avalanches and everything like you

913
00:46:36,320 --> 00:46:39,080
Speaker 1: need to pay attention to her, and that men will

914
00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:42,440
Speaker 1: just ignore her. And then when her junior partner, who's

915
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:44,360
Speaker 1: been there for like a month or two months and

916
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:47,360
Speaker 1: as a guy, tells them what to do, they fucking listen.

917
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:49,600
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my god. She goes, I've

918
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:52,319
Speaker 1: been in it for twenty five years. I'm the only

919
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:55,479
Speaker 1: female ski guy. Blah blah blah. And so I said

920
00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:57,399
Speaker 1: to the guy that was with us, who's a really

921
00:46:57,440 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 1: good friend of mine, I was like, Hey, how do

922
00:46:59,719 --> 00:47:02,879
Speaker 1: you feel about this conversation? Because I know you feel

923
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:05,600
Speaker 1: like you're being indicted as a group, and you are,

924
00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:09,040
Speaker 1: But just so you know, we don't think you're all terrible.

925
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:11,439
Speaker 1: We you know, we know there's a bunch of good

926
00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:13,239
Speaker 1: ones out there. It's the problem is is that the

927
00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:16,399
Speaker 1: bad ones are overshadowing the good ones right now. So

928
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:19,880
Speaker 1: as a collective, you're all on fucking probation. And he

929
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:22,279
Speaker 1: was like, I just he goes, I'm all for equality.

930
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:26,080
Speaker 1: I just don't get the whole reverse discrimination thing. And

931
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 1: I was like, what, like, shut up. I said, just

932
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:30,359
Speaker 1: shut up, and I will talk to you in the car.

933
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:32,759
Speaker 1: I asked you a question hoping you would give me

934
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:37,439
Speaker 1: a responsible answer. Your answer says, I don't like reverse discrimination,

935
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:40,800
Speaker 1: so you were okay with discrimination the first way around

936
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:44,520
Speaker 1: before it was reversed. But also the idea that her saying,

937
00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:47,520
Speaker 1: it's so frustrating for me for twenty five years to

938
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:49,680
Speaker 1: have not been listened to because I'm a woman. When

939
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:51,560
Speaker 1: a guy who's been here for a month and wouldn't

940
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 1: know an avalanche from his own ass will get listened

941
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:57,120
Speaker 1: to by by our clients and he goes that just

942
00:47:57,160 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 1: really feels like reverse discrimination. They're not even talking about you,

943
00:48:01,719 --> 00:48:04,560
Speaker 1: They're they're talking about the dynamic that she, as a

944
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:09,040
Speaker 1: professional woman, is constantly being thrown under the bus, And

945
00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:11,800
Speaker 1: you say, acknowledging that she is being thrown under the

946
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:14,680
Speaker 1: bus really makes me feel discriminated against. It's like, it's

947
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:17,600
Speaker 1: like these parents who are freaking out right now about

948
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:20,640
Speaker 1: conversations about critical race theory and school who were like,

949
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:24,239
Speaker 1: this makes white kids feel bad. It's like, if you

950
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:28,200
Speaker 1: think acknowledging our history and systems that weren't built by us,

951
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:32,799
Speaker 1: but that we definitely still benefit from is an indictment

952
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:35,480
Speaker 1: of you. Then what you're really saying to me is

953
00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:37,960
Speaker 1: that you love benefiting from the system and you don't

954
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 1: want it to change. You feel bad because you're a

955
00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:44,920
Speaker 1: bad person. You wouldn't feel bad if you wanted things

956
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 1: to change for the better. Right. Oh, I'm like on

957
00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:51,840
Speaker 1: fire about it. I know. It's so fucking annoying. And

958
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:54,479
Speaker 1: the questions like well, can we still open the door

959
00:48:54,560 --> 00:48:57,400
Speaker 1: for you? It's like, yeah, yeah, you've been raping us

960
00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:00,319
Speaker 1: for centuries and we're not talking about the door. The

961
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:02,719
Speaker 1: least you could fucking do is open the door for us.

962
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:05,920
Speaker 1: Please don't bring up stupid questions. It's like it's so

963
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:09,640
Speaker 1: antagonistic because it's like what it's like, do you see

964
00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:11,919
Speaker 1: how that makes us? That makes us the bad guy

965
00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:15,279
Speaker 1: for asking for what we deserve, which is equality, and

966
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:17,759
Speaker 1: you have to come back with these stupid comments. It's like,

967
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:20,759
Speaker 1: just say thank you and shut up. Yeah, and the

968
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:24,560
Speaker 1: irony too, is okay. Like the door example, I hold

969
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:27,680
Speaker 1: the door for elderly people, men and women because I'm

970
00:49:27,719 --> 00:49:32,640
Speaker 1: younger and stronger, because it's polite and decent. Yeah, I'm

971
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:36,279
Speaker 1: not being like reversed agist by saying to a little

972
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:38,680
Speaker 1: old lady. Can I get the door for you? I'm

973
00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:42,439
Speaker 1: being polite, so like, just be polite. It's holding the door.

974
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:46,560
Speaker 1: And sexual assault are not equitable in any fashion, and

975
00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:49,560
Speaker 1: stop pretending that they are. Yeah, and sexual assault also

976
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:55,600
Speaker 1: is not polite exactly, My god, how do you feel?

977
00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:59,080
Speaker 1: Because look, we can get really fired up about these things,

978
00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:01,160
Speaker 1: and we do all of the time, and and we're

979
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:05,359
Speaker 1: talking about justice and equity and decarceration, and you and

980
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:08,920
Speaker 1: I both are out here advocating for reparations and advocating

981
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:11,880
Speaker 1: for gender equity, and you know not lost on me

982
00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:14,319
Speaker 1: that we get to do so having the privilege of,

983
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:16,880
Speaker 1: I would imagine, more often than not being the breadwinners

984
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:23,160
Speaker 1: and our personal gender dynamics. But how do you feel?

985
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:26,319
Speaker 1: Because you are also just a human And I know

986
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:29,239
Speaker 1: that for me sometimes as a human, what I'm on

987
00:50:29,280 --> 00:50:32,080
Speaker 1: the receiving end of when I have conversations like these

988
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:38,200
Speaker 1: is intense. How do you kind of manage your road

989
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:42,560
Speaker 1: of going further and further into activism and into advocacy.

990
00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:45,319
Speaker 1: What are the ways that you do take care of

991
00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:47,960
Speaker 1: yourself and and kind of look out for yourself and

992
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:50,800
Speaker 1: what inspires you to put it all out there? Because

993
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:54,839
Speaker 1: to your point about I won't generalize all of them,

994
00:50:54,840 --> 00:50:56,880
Speaker 1: but more often than not, the people making threats and

995
00:50:56,960 --> 00:51:00,879
Speaker 1: being incredibly violent on the internet are men. They don't

996
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:04,440
Speaker 1: love it when women are very overtly political or successful

997
00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:08,279
Speaker 1: um or disinterested in them. So just three strikes for me.

998
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:12,600
Speaker 1: But how do you kind of navigate that space and

999
00:51:12,640 --> 00:51:15,880
Speaker 1: what makes you want to? Well? I burned out a

1000
00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:18,200
Speaker 1: lot because I always go like full throttle and then

1001
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:21,279
Speaker 1: I'm like, uh, you know. And I remember talking to

1002
00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:24,040
Speaker 1: Rebecca Solnt once we had drinks in San Francisco and

1003
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:26,360
Speaker 1: she was telling me, you know, an activist has to

1004
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:28,960
Speaker 1: remain at a at a five all the time, like

1005
00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:31,360
Speaker 1: nothing can make you too high or too low. And

1006
00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:34,279
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not there yet, and she's like, because

1007
00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:36,560
Speaker 1: you'll burn out. And you know. After the election, I

1008
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 1: remember my friends were so excited that Biden one and

1009
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:43,160
Speaker 1: they were like, come on, let's do this, let's celebrate,

1010
00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:46,799
Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't feel celebratory yet, Like

1011
00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:51,200
Speaker 1: I'm relieved. I'm not celebrating that Trump is out of office.

1012
00:51:51,239 --> 00:51:54,200
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, a nightmares over. And then I

1013
00:51:54,239 --> 00:51:57,360
Speaker 1: wanted Georgia. I couldn't relax until we found out about Georgia.

1014
00:51:57,480 --> 00:52:00,640
Speaker 1: And then when that happened, of course, right, you were like,

1015
00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:03,480
Speaker 1: And then I went to Whistler and literally turned off

1016
00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:05,600
Speaker 1: all my signals and all the groups that I'm in.

1017
00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:08,680
Speaker 1: I didn't check them. I just had to decompress. And

1018
00:52:08,719 --> 00:52:11,120
Speaker 1: I know it's not you know, I'm still learning how

1019
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:14,480
Speaker 1: to modulate that and and and and make it so

1020
00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:18,080
Speaker 1: that it's consistent instead of spiking and high and low,

1021
00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:20,520
Speaker 1: and but it does wear on you, you know, it

1022
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:23,279
Speaker 1: becomes hopeless at times. So I have a lot of

1023
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:26,840
Speaker 1: activist friends who I lean on and I always stay informed,

1024
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 1: but my level of activism definitely is in flux, depending

1025
00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:32,360
Speaker 1: on what cycle are we on for the election and

1026
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:35,080
Speaker 1: who we're trying to get elected and blah blah blah.

1027
00:52:35,120 --> 00:52:37,600
Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm still working my way through that because

1028
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:39,680
Speaker 1: you know, I know you, I know you're the same way.

1029
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:42,080
Speaker 1: You get so fired up and you get so involved

1030
00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:45,000
Speaker 1: and so immersed that it becomes it takes over and

1031
00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:49,400
Speaker 1: it's very stressful. Yeah. I think one of the things

1032
00:52:49,440 --> 00:52:54,880
Speaker 1: that I also had to open up to is is

1033
00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:57,439
Speaker 1: that I have this fear of, well, if I don't

1034
00:52:57,440 --> 00:52:59,600
Speaker 1: show up, what does it mean? And I've got to

1035
00:52:59,640 --> 00:53:01,799
Speaker 1: be in it, and and I, like you, I was

1036
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:06,000
Speaker 1: really burnt out after the election. I was like so exhausted.

1037
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:09,839
Speaker 1: And a friend of mine who's an incredible organizer, said,

1038
00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:14,920
Speaker 1: you have to remember, we build these systems of activism

1039
00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:18,360
Speaker 1: with decentralized power structures for a reason, so that the

1040
00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:22,600
Speaker 1: activism continues and the people supporting it can dip in

1041
00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:27,640
Speaker 1: and dip out when they need to. And I I

1042
00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:29,879
Speaker 1: thought about that for a couple of days, and then

1043
00:53:29,920 --> 00:53:31,839
Speaker 1: I realized I was like, Oh, the part of me

1044
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:36,600
Speaker 1: that has this deep anxiety about not showing up is

1045
00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:40,240
Speaker 1: actually like a very juvenile part of my little inner

1046
00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:43,560
Speaker 1: child who's afraid of not being a part of it,

1047
00:53:44,120 --> 00:53:48,280
Speaker 1: who's and who worries that maybe I'll not know something

1048
00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:51,000
Speaker 1: or or I won't I won't be it won't be

1049
00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:53,440
Speaker 1: clear that I'm supportive enough of this thing. And it's like, oh,

1050
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:57,080
Speaker 1: it's not about me at all. And I know that,

1051
00:53:57,680 --> 00:53:59,719
Speaker 1: but I had to really get in touch with the

1052
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:03,640
Speaker 1: fact that the anxiety I feel about the moments where

1053
00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:06,080
Speaker 1: I do need to dip out can be about a

1054
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:10,880
Speaker 1: fear of not knowing something or or not um being

1055
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:13,960
Speaker 1: giving enough, and like that's not real. The point is

1056
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:16,200
Speaker 1: to get it across the finish line. The point is

1057
00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:20,799
Speaker 1: to make sure that the causes are moving forward. And

1058
00:54:20,880 --> 00:54:22,360
Speaker 1: you know, it gave me a lot of freedom to

1059
00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:24,680
Speaker 1: be like, I'm actually not that important to this. I

1060
00:54:24,680 --> 00:54:26,319
Speaker 1: know I can be helpful, and I want to be

1061
00:54:26,360 --> 00:54:31,239
Speaker 1: helpful forever, but like, all right, I'm I'm an advocate.

1062
00:54:31,400 --> 00:54:36,040
Speaker 1: I'm not the person planning this ship and great and

1063
00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:39,839
Speaker 1: it kind of it. It reminded me that admitting when

1064
00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 1: I need time is okay, right, Like it's just so

1065
00:54:45,760 --> 00:54:49,520
Speaker 1: much bigger than all of us and I and I

1066
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:54,080
Speaker 1: I find meaning when the people who I trust, you know,

1067
00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:57,600
Speaker 1: the activists that we have in our circles tell me

1068
00:54:58,040 --> 00:54:59,960
Speaker 1: or and I know tell you, and so I assume

1069
00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:02,279
Speaker 1: the same for you, that that our help is meaningful

1070
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:05,279
Speaker 1: and they know it's genuine. Those are the things where

1071
00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:07,600
Speaker 1: I'm like, great, that those are the people I need

1072
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 1: to make sure I'm I'm on the level with and

1073
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:13,440
Speaker 1: the rest of it, as long as we're always putting

1074
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:16,839
Speaker 1: group forward, it's it's all okay, yeah, I think that

1075
00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:19,600
Speaker 1: like you, what you're saying is right. I mean I

1076
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:21,319
Speaker 1: I can relate to what you're saying too. And it's

1077
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:23,760
Speaker 1: like Yeah, we have to find our sweet spots because

1078
00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:25,799
Speaker 1: you can't be you're not. I'm not gonna sit here

1079
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:27,440
Speaker 1: and bitch about being an activist. I want to be

1080
00:55:27,520 --> 00:55:30,160
Speaker 1: a better activist, you know. I don't want to lose steam.

1081
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:32,760
Speaker 1: I want to be able to be available for all things.

1082
00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:35,640
Speaker 1: And I have friends who that's all they do. It's

1083
00:55:35,680 --> 00:55:39,680
Speaker 1: every single day is marching and protesting and uh so, yeah,

1084
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:42,160
Speaker 1: it's just about finding your right groove. But to know

1085
00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:45,399
Speaker 1: that that is a priority among other things in our

1086
00:55:45,440 --> 00:55:48,960
Speaker 1: lives is important as well. So are there people or

1087
00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:53,120
Speaker 1: organizations that are currently really inspiring you on those fronts?

1088
00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:55,680
Speaker 1: Because I I imagine that there's people at home listening

1089
00:55:55,719 --> 00:55:57,959
Speaker 1: who are thinking, well, who are you guys talking about,

1090
00:55:58,040 --> 00:55:59,520
Speaker 1: and who do I need to follow? And how do

1091
00:55:59,560 --> 00:56:03,680
Speaker 1: I get involved in this decarceration movement? So who who

1092
00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:07,200
Speaker 1: do you kind of want to pig up in this moment? Seriously,

1093
00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:09,200
Speaker 1: it's so easy to research and look up. I've done

1094
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:11,480
Speaker 1: it so many times when I had to reference something.

1095
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:13,799
Speaker 1: When I wrote that Time magazine article, I read so

1096
00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:16,080
Speaker 1: much stuff about it. So I think it's just if

1097
00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:18,840
Speaker 1: you google decarceration, so many groups come up that you

1098
00:56:18,840 --> 00:56:20,640
Speaker 1: can help, like a lot of the things I do,

1099
00:56:20,719 --> 00:56:22,440
Speaker 1: like when I sell when I go on tour and

1100
00:56:22,480 --> 00:56:26,480
Speaker 1: I sell my you know, merchant stuff, like I'll donate

1101
00:56:26,520 --> 00:56:28,680
Speaker 1: all the proceeds each each tour I donate to a

1102
00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:31,680
Speaker 1: different fund. So the fund that I'm donate my next

1103
00:56:31,719 --> 00:56:34,560
Speaker 1: tour that's coming up, which I haven't announced yet, but yes,

1104
00:56:34,760 --> 00:56:37,719
Speaker 1: that is funding a group whose name I can't remember,

1105
00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:41,760
Speaker 1: but I will find out for you. And I donate

1106
00:56:41,760 --> 00:56:43,759
Speaker 1: all the proceeds from all of my merch I don't

1107
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:47,680
Speaker 1: need merchandise proceeds, right, So let's go all last last

1108
00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:49,719
Speaker 1: year they went to True Colors United, which was a

1109
00:56:49,800 --> 00:56:51,640
Speaker 1: Cindy law pres foundation for the l g B t

1110
00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:55,560
Speaker 1: q I a community for youthless like the homeless um

1111
00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:58,680
Speaker 1: youth and in that community. And so then this year

1112
00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:02,160
Speaker 1: I found a decarceration and program that helps foot the

1113
00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:05,880
Speaker 1: bills for the lawyers that are working as a collective

1114
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:10,480
Speaker 1: in a class action way for individuals. So that's something

1115
00:57:10,560 --> 00:57:14,000
Speaker 1: you know. There's but those organized organizations are plentiful. So

1116
00:57:14,080 --> 00:57:15,840
Speaker 1: once you google it, they come up, and then you

1117
00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:18,640
Speaker 1: just research it and find one that aligns the most

1118
00:57:18,680 --> 00:57:20,840
Speaker 1: with the way that you feel, in the way that

1119
00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:24,439
Speaker 1: you think in a reminder to everybody that drugs were

1120
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:29,240
Speaker 1: This war on drugs was directly targeted we have black

1121
00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:31,400
Speaker 1: and brown people to get them in jail and off

1122
00:57:31,440 --> 00:57:34,919
Speaker 1: the streets, so make no mistake about it. That's what

1123
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:38,160
Speaker 1: any war on drugs is about. Absolutely. And one of

1124
00:57:38,160 --> 00:57:40,880
Speaker 1: the things that really hit me was um talking to

1125
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:44,440
Speaker 1: some of the organizers doing a lot of Black Lives

1126
00:57:44,440 --> 00:57:48,040
Speaker 1: Matter work who spoke about how the War on drugs

1127
00:57:48,080 --> 00:57:52,440
Speaker 1: specifically went after men of color so that they could

1128
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:58,840
Speaker 1: take fathers out of homes and destabilize entire families. And

1129
00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:03,600
Speaker 1: going over the data and the literature and and looking

1130
00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:10,200
Speaker 1: at the way that these horrible government sponsored programs of

1131
00:58:10,480 --> 00:58:14,360
Speaker 1: really state sponsored violence were launched was a big wake

1132
00:58:14,480 --> 00:58:18,040
Speaker 1: up moment for me and I, you know, before COVID,

1133
00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:22,360
Speaker 1: I had the supreme pleasure of spending some time at

1134
00:58:22,400 --> 00:58:25,960
Speaker 1: the Lancaster Men's Prison with the Anti Recidivism Coalition, and

1135
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:29,160
Speaker 1: the work that they are doing is so unbelievable, and

1136
00:58:29,200 --> 00:58:32,000
Speaker 1: the conversations I had with all of these men there,

1137
00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:36,760
Speaker 1: we're just like some of the most life altering experiences

1138
00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:39,600
Speaker 1: I've I've had in recent years, and I just thought,

1139
00:58:40,280 --> 00:58:42,160
Speaker 1: these are the places we need to be. These are

1140
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:46,720
Speaker 1: these are the people we need to advocate alongside of

1141
00:58:46,960 --> 00:58:51,400
Speaker 1: because we have all these notions in this country about

1142
00:58:51,440 --> 00:58:55,760
Speaker 1: like heroes and whatever. We we claim that we're all

1143
00:58:55,800 --> 00:58:59,600
Speaker 1: about like redemption and the good guy, but we ignored

1144
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:02,080
Speaker 1: people who are doing the good work. We ignore a

1145
00:59:02,120 --> 00:59:07,520
Speaker 1: lot of people's actual living redemption. And I don't know,

1146
00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:10,680
Speaker 1: it was a game changer for me, and I really

1147
00:59:10,720 --> 00:59:13,960
Speaker 1: hope that as we move into this next year where

1148
00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:17,520
Speaker 1: hopefully we can stop the lunatics on the internet from

1149
00:59:17,560 --> 00:59:20,640
Speaker 1: claiming that vaccines are bad, or that Trump is or

1150
00:59:20,680 --> 00:59:22,600
Speaker 1: that Trump is coming back to office and it's going

1151
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:25,400
Speaker 1: to be reinstated in August. Sophia, we have we have

1152
00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:28,760
Speaker 1: look forward to. It's insane. It's so insane. But you

1153
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:31,560
Speaker 1: know what, the thing that makes me so fucking crazy

1154
00:59:31,560 --> 00:59:34,560
Speaker 1: about these conspiracy theorists, Like I was. I don't know

1155
00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:36,040
Speaker 1: if you were in this group, but I was in

1156
00:59:36,080 --> 00:59:39,040
Speaker 1: this group on Facebook when Trump was elected, right, and

1157
00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:43,320
Speaker 1: it was all about anonymous sixteen. Anonymous fourteen. He's going

1158
00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:47,400
Speaker 1: to be removed from office momentarily, he's gonna be every

1159
00:59:47,480 --> 00:59:50,800
Speaker 1: day on the on the tent on time and a

1160
00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:52,960
Speaker 1: lot of people I knew in respect were in that

1161
00:59:53,040 --> 00:59:55,400
Speaker 1: chat room, and on the tenth time that they said

1162
00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:58,080
Speaker 1: a date that didn't come to fruition where he was

1163
00:59:58,080 --> 00:59:59,560
Speaker 1: going to be dragged out of the White House and

1164
00:59:59,640 --> 01:00:01,760
Speaker 1: is under where you know, in his panties with his

1165
01:00:02,120 --> 01:00:05,000
Speaker 1: fucking we've flying off and landing in the Rose Guarden

1166
01:00:05,040 --> 01:00:07,800
Speaker 1: hopefully after the time time I go, Okay, I'm an

1167
01:00:07,840 --> 01:00:11,000
Speaker 1: idiot now that I believe this, like there's no proof

1168
01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:14,440
Speaker 1: of this, and and the fact that these people still

1169
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:19,760
Speaker 1: believe in all this nonsense is really really a sad statement,

1170
01:00:19,840 --> 01:00:22,520
Speaker 1: like and a sad sentiment about the state of our country.

1171
01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:24,480
Speaker 1: And and you know, in a lot of ways, it

1172
01:00:24,520 --> 01:00:27,040
Speaker 1: feels like America's kind of like lost the plot, like

1173
01:00:27,080 --> 01:00:29,640
Speaker 1: we're it's over for us. It feels like it's like

1174
01:00:29,720 --> 01:00:32,760
Speaker 1: we're past now. We missed our opportunity to be the best,

1175
01:00:33,320 --> 01:00:36,560
Speaker 1: and now we've got lunatics running across the country, and

1176
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:40,720
Speaker 1: we elected a reality television star to be the president

1177
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:43,800
Speaker 1: of the most powerful country in the world. It might

1178
01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:46,440
Speaker 1: be time for another country to sit in the limelight

1179
01:00:46,480 --> 01:00:48,720
Speaker 1: as the most powerful nation in the world. I mean,

1180
01:00:48,760 --> 01:00:53,600
Speaker 1: it is really embarrassing. And even you know the fact

1181
01:00:53,600 --> 01:00:56,640
Speaker 1: that people were doing like bad photoshop of the front

1182
01:00:56,640 --> 01:00:59,920
Speaker 1: of the White House and then people were like those

1183
01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:02,800
Speaker 1: the photos you're I saw this like Q and on threat.

1184
01:01:02,840 --> 01:01:05,360
Speaker 1: I went really deep in it one day and there

1185
01:01:05,400 --> 01:01:08,560
Speaker 1: there were I mean revolting but there were these photos

1186
01:01:08,640 --> 01:01:12,080
Speaker 1: of these um multi leveled gallows set up in front

1187
01:01:12,080 --> 01:01:14,520
Speaker 1: of the White House with bodies hanging from them, and

1188
01:01:14,560 --> 01:01:16,680
Speaker 1: they were like, see they're coming, you know, they're taking

1189
01:01:16,680 --> 01:01:19,320
Speaker 1: them all out, and they were celebrating this, and it

1190
01:01:19,400 --> 01:01:22,520
Speaker 1: took one person being like, guys, those are photos from

1191
01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:26,280
Speaker 1: uh from long ago that are on the ap from

1192
01:01:26,320 --> 01:01:29,320
Speaker 1: like literally a drug war thing that happened in Mexico

1193
01:01:29,840 --> 01:01:32,960
Speaker 1: that's not happened. Like some kid like did a photoshop

1194
01:01:33,040 --> 01:01:34,840
Speaker 1: layer and people bought it. And I was like, what

1195
01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:37,040
Speaker 1: is happening to us? And I feel the same way

1196
01:01:37,080 --> 01:01:40,640
Speaker 1: with all these like quote unquote wellness moms on Instagram

1197
01:01:40,680 --> 01:01:44,400
Speaker 1: who are like decrying that vaccines are toxic, and I'm like,

1198
01:01:44,480 --> 01:01:46,440
Speaker 1: you eat salmon three times a week, Stop talking to

1199
01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:48,920
Speaker 1: me about mercury. Stop talking to me about like trace

1200
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:54,400
Speaker 1: amounts of stabilization solution that, by the way, is saving

1201
01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:59,280
Speaker 1: the planets. The planets like the only reason humans are

1202
01:01:59,320 --> 01:02:03,520
Speaker 1: alive is because of vaccines, and so what you're alternative.

1203
01:02:03,520 --> 01:02:05,680
Speaker 1: You want to get rubella, you want to have the measles,

1204
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:08,520
Speaker 1: you want to die of COVID, Like, stop it. It's

1205
01:02:08,720 --> 01:02:13,080
Speaker 1: just the miracle of science, the miracle of education, the

1206
01:02:13,160 --> 01:02:20,240
Speaker 1: actual miracle of a functioning democracy. The miracles of these

1207
01:02:20,280 --> 01:02:23,240
Speaker 1: things we ignore because people want to. They like the

1208
01:02:23,240 --> 01:02:27,440
Speaker 1: way it feels to think they have a secret. Well also, yes, exactly.

1209
01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:33,400
Speaker 1: Also taking advice, taking medical advice from Donald Trump, who's

1210
01:02:33,440 --> 01:02:37,440
Speaker 1: neither a scientist nor a doctor, and has also been vaccinated,

1211
01:02:37,880 --> 01:02:41,360
Speaker 1: You're an idiot. You are a moron. If you want

1212
01:02:41,360 --> 01:02:43,840
Speaker 1: to tell your children you didn't get vaccinated because Donald

1213
01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:45,760
Speaker 1: Trump told you. First of all, my friend said the

1214
01:02:45,800 --> 01:02:48,000
Speaker 1: other night, the only reason you're just getting played, you're

1215
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:49,640
Speaker 1: getting played. The only reason he didn't want to wear

1216
01:02:49,680 --> 01:02:51,440
Speaker 1: a mask was because it was going to ruin up,

1217
01:02:51,680 --> 01:02:54,680
Speaker 1: ruin all of his makeup. And I hadn't thought about that,

1218
01:02:54,800 --> 01:02:57,400
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, yeah, because you know, whenever

1219
01:02:57,440 --> 01:02:59,120
Speaker 1: you wear a mask and you're in full makeup, you

1220
01:02:59,160 --> 01:03:00,600
Speaker 1: take it off and you have to a touched off.

1221
01:03:00,640 --> 01:03:03,600
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, that's why he was an anti masker.

1222
01:03:03,960 --> 01:03:08,160
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's that stupid a vanity project. It

1223
01:03:08,200 --> 01:03:10,600
Speaker 1: doesn't surprise me. You know who I love? Noah Castler

1224
01:03:10,800 --> 01:03:12,600
Speaker 1: is that his name? The guy who used to work

1225
01:03:12,600 --> 01:03:15,960
Speaker 1: on the Apprentice? But oh my god, he has just

1226
01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:17,560
Speaker 1: gone so in and he's like, oh yeah, you want

1227
01:03:17,600 --> 01:03:18,920
Speaker 1: me to tell you about the time he shipped his

1228
01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:21,480
Speaker 1: pants and his diaper on set. I mean he is

1229
01:03:21,520 --> 01:03:25,480
Speaker 1: like he's gone for the guy, and and I don't

1230
01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:29,720
Speaker 1: I don't mean to be cruel because the thing is

1231
01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:32,520
Speaker 1: as much as I'm like, how could we be so stupid?

1232
01:03:32,520 --> 01:03:35,760
Speaker 1: And I say we collectively, all of us humans? But

1233
01:03:35,840 --> 01:03:39,240
Speaker 1: I go, you know, people want answers, they want to

1234
01:03:39,240 --> 01:03:44,600
Speaker 1: have a hero. They're they're reading literal propaganda, um masquerading

1235
01:03:44,640 --> 01:03:47,960
Speaker 1: his news. Like I can't believe Fox is allowed to

1236
01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:50,480
Speaker 1: call themselves news when they go to court and they say,

1237
01:03:50,520 --> 01:03:53,560
Speaker 1: we're not a news program, we're scripted entertainment program. There's

1238
01:03:53,560 --> 01:03:55,960
Speaker 1: a literal quote from a lawsuit of them getting sued

1239
01:03:56,000 --> 01:03:58,480
Speaker 1: for lying on the air, which they do every day,

1240
01:03:58,560 --> 01:04:04,360
Speaker 1: and they said, no, no reasonable or intelligent viewer would

1241
01:04:04,440 --> 01:04:08,120
Speaker 1: believe we are sober news. So I'm like, you just

1242
01:04:08,160 --> 01:04:11,960
Speaker 1: called all your viewers stupid in court, Like what how

1243
01:04:12,040 --> 01:04:14,440
Speaker 1: is this allowed? I don't understand how they haven't been

1244
01:04:16,560 --> 01:04:20,440
Speaker 1: and and so you know, part of me is like, okay, okay, okay,

1245
01:04:20,680 --> 01:04:24,240
Speaker 1: I have to have grace for where we lose our way,

1246
01:04:24,440 --> 01:04:29,160
Speaker 1: for how seductive rage, porn and lies and these things are.

1247
01:04:29,960 --> 01:04:32,000
Speaker 1: And then I also am like, what is wrong with

1248
01:04:32,080 --> 01:04:34,440
Speaker 1: us that we would want these things to be true

1249
01:04:34,600 --> 01:04:38,320
Speaker 1: about each other? That that we don't want to celebrate

1250
01:04:38,880 --> 01:04:44,080
Speaker 1: the miracle of a of a democracy that has scientists?

1251
01:04:44,120 --> 01:04:48,000
Speaker 1: Like what is this place? I just what did you

1252
01:04:48,040 --> 01:04:51,320
Speaker 1: hear the story about Katie Katie Hill? She went and

1253
01:04:51,560 --> 01:04:53,800
Speaker 1: remember you know she got her picture as Katie Porter,

1254
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:57,280
Speaker 1: right or Katie Hill, Katie Porter, Katie Porter has the

1255
01:04:57,280 --> 01:05:01,960
Speaker 1: white boards, Katie Hill, the one who got docked essentially

1256
01:05:02,040 --> 01:05:04,600
Speaker 1: by her ex. So she so Daily Mail, you know,

1257
01:05:04,720 --> 01:05:07,280
Speaker 1: printed those pictures. She sued this and now she has

1258
01:05:07,320 --> 01:05:10,560
Speaker 1: to pay a hundred thousand dollars for the Daily Mail's

1259
01:05:10,760 --> 01:05:16,560
Speaker 1: legal fees. No, yes, I mean talk about like talk

1260
01:05:16,600 --> 01:05:20,439
Speaker 1: about white male patriarchy. Where was that? Says what judge said? Yes,

1261
01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:24,680
Speaker 1: someone took nudes of her, release them without any permission,

1262
01:05:24,840 --> 01:05:27,120
Speaker 1: and now she's going to pay a hundred thousand dollars.

1263
01:05:27,560 --> 01:05:30,120
Speaker 1: That's I mean, it's like the Handmaid's Tale. So when

1264
01:05:30,120 --> 01:05:31,520
Speaker 1: you look at it like that, and you look at

1265
01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:34,480
Speaker 1: our justice system that there are judges making decisions like this,

1266
01:05:34,920 --> 01:05:37,200
Speaker 1: and you don't think this world is built for men,

1267
01:05:37,280 --> 01:05:39,520
Speaker 1: then you really need to get your brain looked at,

1268
01:05:39,600 --> 01:05:43,800
Speaker 1: and you need to like literally reassess everything and understand

1269
01:05:44,080 --> 01:05:48,080
Speaker 1: how vilified women are. How have the idea that men

1270
01:05:48,200 --> 01:05:52,400
Speaker 1: can control our bodies. It's just so, it's so asinine

1271
01:05:52,440 --> 01:05:54,880
Speaker 1: and fucked up, and not for one second has there

1272
01:05:54,920 --> 01:05:58,320
Speaker 1: ever been a discussion about women controlling what men do? Never?

1273
01:05:58,800 --> 01:06:01,320
Speaker 1: Oh do you remember who was the lawmaker? She was

1274
01:06:01,360 --> 01:06:05,440
Speaker 1: so funny. She proposed a bill, I mean honestly, like

1275
01:06:05,520 --> 01:06:08,439
Speaker 1: as a way to troll Republican lawmakers who are trying

1276
01:06:08,440 --> 01:06:11,160
Speaker 1: to ban abortion. She said, well, I think we should

1277
01:06:11,160 --> 01:06:14,080
Speaker 1: propose a bill then that it at. You know, right

1278
01:06:14,120 --> 01:06:16,800
Speaker 1: when they hit puberty, all boys are given vasectomys, and

1279
01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:19,320
Speaker 1: then they're not allowed to reverse them until their wives

1280
01:06:19,320 --> 01:06:22,760
Speaker 1: want to get pregnant. And people asolutely ready to have it,

1281
01:06:23,240 --> 01:06:27,600
Speaker 1: absolutely ready, then then reverse it. It's reversible. And people

1282
01:06:27,640 --> 01:06:30,439
Speaker 1: lost their minds, and she was like, do you see

1283
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:36,520
Speaker 1: how crazy it is? Do you see how crazy it sounds? Oh? Man?

1284
01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:38,240
Speaker 1: I mean even the fact that you know they made

1285
01:06:38,240 --> 01:06:42,800
Speaker 1: a male birth control pill and that they took it

1286
01:06:42,800 --> 01:06:46,080
Speaker 1: off the market because it made boys nauseous. Oh sad, well,

1287
01:06:46,080 --> 01:06:48,120
Speaker 1: I have. It's like I gave them one of the

1288
01:06:48,160 --> 01:06:50,440
Speaker 1: symptoms birth control gives to us and they were like,

1289
01:06:50,480 --> 01:06:52,680
Speaker 1: we can't do this too. I have some encouraging news.

1290
01:06:52,720 --> 01:06:54,200
Speaker 1: I don't know if you know have you read anything

1291
01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:58,360
Speaker 1: about parthenogenesis. This is like a phenomenon where animals are

1292
01:06:58,360 --> 01:07:01,960
Speaker 1: able to procreate without males. Females are able to use

1293
01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:05,520
Speaker 1: their own DNA to duplicate their DNA and have a baby.

1294
01:07:05,600 --> 01:07:07,960
Speaker 1: There's a lot of fish that do this, right, yeah, fish,

1295
01:07:08,240 --> 01:07:10,560
Speaker 1: Like a shark has done it, a python has done it,

1296
01:07:10,600 --> 01:07:13,560
Speaker 1: and a zoo that was like, uh not in the

1297
01:07:13,600 --> 01:07:16,440
Speaker 1: same area as male pythons. So like it was an

1298
01:07:16,440 --> 01:07:22,880
Speaker 1: immaculate conception. But evolutionarily, we are a thousand years behind animals.

1299
01:07:23,160 --> 01:07:26,720
Speaker 1: So if they're produced, like, if they're procreating without men,

1300
01:07:27,720 --> 01:07:30,120
Speaker 1: we are going to be able to procreate without We

1301
01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:31,920
Speaker 1: already don't need them in the room, you know, we

1302
01:07:32,000 --> 01:07:34,680
Speaker 1: just need their semen. So like, if men do not

1303
01:07:34,840 --> 01:07:39,440
Speaker 1: step up their game, they are going to become extinct. Literally. Wow. Yeah,

1304
01:07:39,440 --> 01:07:41,800
Speaker 1: so that's something to look forward to. I wonder what

1305
01:07:41,880 --> 01:07:44,320
Speaker 1: ways they'll try to legislate our insides if we can

1306
01:07:44,360 --> 01:07:49,160
Speaker 1: make babies without them. Oh, great question, I asked. I

1307
01:07:49,160 --> 01:07:51,080
Speaker 1: probably should take that out of the podcast so none

1308
01:07:51,120 --> 01:07:53,680
Speaker 1: of them get any ideas. Um, they're like, we should

1309
01:07:53,720 --> 01:07:58,160
Speaker 1: get on this now. I it's funny though, because these

1310
01:07:58,160 --> 01:07:59,960
Speaker 1: are the kinds of things that, you know, they make

1311
01:08:00,080 --> 01:08:03,960
Speaker 1: me feel nuts and they make me so mad. And

1312
01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:06,360
Speaker 1: then I also think we'll never fix it if we

1313
01:08:06,360 --> 01:08:10,680
Speaker 1: don't talk about it. We'll never come up with solutions

1314
01:08:10,720 --> 01:08:13,760
Speaker 1: if we don't get honest about the problems. And so

1315
01:08:14,360 --> 01:08:18,920
Speaker 1: I wonder for you, when we're talking about these requirements,

1316
01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:21,200
Speaker 1: we have to confront ourselves so that we can also

1317
01:08:21,320 --> 01:08:25,040
Speaker 1: confront society. What is the advice that you have for

1318
01:08:25,080 --> 01:08:27,519
Speaker 1: people who right now might be like, well fuck it all?

1319
01:08:27,600 --> 01:08:31,800
Speaker 1: You know, like, how do you tell people to stay

1320
01:08:31,800 --> 01:08:34,320
Speaker 1: in the game in themselves so they can stay in

1321
01:08:34,360 --> 01:08:38,200
Speaker 1: it for everyone else too? I think we don't realize,

1322
01:08:38,240 --> 01:08:41,000
Speaker 1: you know, every individual, whether you're a famous person or not,

1323
01:08:41,160 --> 01:08:43,479
Speaker 1: the power we have, you know, the impact that we

1324
01:08:43,560 --> 01:08:46,320
Speaker 1: have and do. And even when you do some like

1325
01:08:46,520 --> 01:08:49,200
Speaker 1: random act of kindness for a stranger, or you sit

1326
01:08:49,240 --> 01:08:52,320
Speaker 1: down and have a conversation with a homeless person and

1327
01:08:52,479 --> 01:08:55,320
Speaker 1: or bring them food and sit with them, or really

1328
01:08:55,320 --> 01:08:57,559
Speaker 1: help somebody out who's in a bind, or even a

1329
01:08:57,600 --> 01:09:00,800
Speaker 1: stranger that you see is in trouble and you help them.

1330
01:09:00,880 --> 01:09:04,479
Speaker 1: The impact that that has when someone's days going south

1331
01:09:04,560 --> 01:09:07,200
Speaker 1: and you're able to lift them back up and say, hey,

1332
01:09:07,280 --> 01:09:09,160
Speaker 1: you know, I'm a human being. I'm here for you.

1333
01:09:09,200 --> 01:09:10,479
Speaker 1: I don't know you, but I'm going to take care

1334
01:09:10,520 --> 01:09:14,559
Speaker 1: of you until you're okay. Like that act alone is

1335
01:09:14,600 --> 01:09:18,000
Speaker 1: so meaningful and profound. You have to understand that you

1336
01:09:18,040 --> 01:09:20,960
Speaker 1: cannot underestimate any human being and the impact that they

1337
01:09:21,000 --> 01:09:23,439
Speaker 1: have on another. So if you can, if you can

1338
01:09:23,520 --> 01:09:26,640
Speaker 1: like implement that in your closest surroundings and just do

1339
01:09:26,680 --> 01:09:29,679
Speaker 1: it throughout your day and you see what happens. You're

1340
01:09:29,680 --> 01:09:31,920
Speaker 1: only motivated to do it more and more and more

1341
01:09:31,960 --> 01:09:35,120
Speaker 1: because it's just spreading love and goodness, right and any

1342
01:09:35,160 --> 01:09:37,680
Speaker 1: opportunity that I have now because we are in a

1343
01:09:37,760 --> 01:09:41,280
Speaker 1: dark place. I mean, there's optimism and then there's darkness.

1344
01:09:41,320 --> 01:09:43,599
Speaker 1: But I want to be in the optimistic side of things,

1345
01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:46,040
Speaker 1: and I want to recognize that. But I don't want

1346
01:09:46,040 --> 01:09:47,600
Speaker 1: to I don't want it to take me down. I

1347
01:09:47,640 --> 01:09:49,800
Speaker 1: want to I want to lift people up. And I

1348
01:09:49,880 --> 01:09:52,719
Speaker 1: just have that as my kind of m O throughout

1349
01:09:52,760 --> 01:09:54,880
Speaker 1: the day of like, Okay, what little thing can I

1350
01:09:54,920 --> 01:09:57,280
Speaker 1: do to help someone cheer up? What note can I

1351
01:09:57,320 --> 01:10:00,559
Speaker 1: send this person? And if you try that, and I

1352
01:10:00,600 --> 01:10:03,040
Speaker 1: think that's I think that's a good like thing for

1353
01:10:03,080 --> 01:10:06,200
Speaker 1: everyone to try because you realize the power that we

1354
01:10:06,280 --> 01:10:08,760
Speaker 1: all have. And just because you don't have a huge

1355
01:10:08,800 --> 01:10:12,360
Speaker 1: platform or you're not a celebrity doesn't mean anything. You

1356
01:10:12,400 --> 01:10:14,559
Speaker 1: can have the impact on the fifteen people in your

1357
01:10:14,600 --> 01:10:17,280
Speaker 1: life or fifteen people you see that day that you

1358
01:10:17,400 --> 01:10:21,080
Speaker 1: smiled at that nobody smiled at. So it's just it's

1359
01:10:21,160 --> 01:10:24,240
Speaker 1: it starts small and then I think it becomes big

1360
01:10:24,320 --> 01:10:27,800
Speaker 1: by nature because it's natural to want to love more

1361
01:10:28,040 --> 01:10:31,639
Speaker 1: and love harder. Yeah, I love that. I think about

1362
01:10:31,640 --> 01:10:34,400
Speaker 1: that a lot because I will. Every so often I'll

1363
01:10:34,439 --> 01:10:36,320
Speaker 1: get to talk to some you know, rad young woman

1364
01:10:36,320 --> 01:10:38,080
Speaker 1: who says, well, I just I don't have a platform

1365
01:10:38,160 --> 01:10:40,160
Speaker 1: like yours, but I want to make a difference. And

1366
01:10:40,160 --> 01:10:41,519
Speaker 1: I say, look, if you get to sit around a

1367
01:10:41,560 --> 01:10:45,240
Speaker 1: dinner table with four people, you have a platform. It

1368
01:10:45,520 --> 01:10:49,400
Speaker 1: all matters. It's all relative and and especially on some

1369
01:10:49,479 --> 01:10:52,400
Speaker 1: of these issues that are sensitive and generational and and

1370
01:10:52,439 --> 01:10:55,280
Speaker 1: really will either make or break our society if we

1371
01:10:55,360 --> 01:10:58,120
Speaker 1: get them right or we continue to ignore them. It

1372
01:10:58,200 --> 01:11:01,439
Speaker 1: takes the person closest to someone to help them change

1373
01:11:01,479 --> 01:11:03,960
Speaker 1: their mind or to help them open their mind to something.

1374
01:11:04,040 --> 01:11:07,040
Speaker 1: And and so I hope anybody at home listening really

1375
01:11:07,080 --> 01:11:10,519
Speaker 1: takes that into account, the fact that you can quite

1376
01:11:10,560 --> 01:11:13,439
Speaker 1: literally be an advocate even if you have an audience

1377
01:11:13,439 --> 01:11:19,759
Speaker 1: of one. And that's something incredibly meaningful. Yeah, for sure,

1378
01:11:19,920 --> 01:11:22,439
Speaker 1: it lends you purpose. Also, you know, if you're if

1379
01:11:22,439 --> 01:11:25,040
Speaker 1: you don't feel like you have your direction in life

1380
01:11:25,120 --> 01:11:27,559
Speaker 1: or your purpose in life, doing that kind of thing

1381
01:11:27,680 --> 01:11:30,719
Speaker 1: and helping people and and just being like a better

1382
01:11:30,760 --> 01:11:33,600
Speaker 1: person in your mind helps you find your purpose. And

1383
01:11:33,640 --> 01:11:37,320
Speaker 1: it's meaningful. It's meaningful to to make somebody smile, laugh,

1384
01:11:37,439 --> 01:11:40,599
Speaker 1: feel hold their hands, or rub their back. I mean,

1385
01:11:40,640 --> 01:11:42,759
Speaker 1: I saw someone woman the other day in a parking

1386
01:11:42,760 --> 01:11:47,120
Speaker 1: garage and she was hysterical, like hysterically crying, freaking out

1387
01:11:47,160 --> 01:11:48,560
Speaker 1: because she couldn't find her I mean, I didn't know

1388
01:11:48,600 --> 01:11:50,719
Speaker 1: it was about not finding her car. I thought somebody

1389
01:11:50,720 --> 01:11:53,360
Speaker 1: had attacked her. And I ran over to her and

1390
01:11:53,680 --> 01:11:56,280
Speaker 1: we both had masks on and I was just holding her.

1391
01:11:56,320 --> 01:11:58,439
Speaker 1: We didn't even say anything, and she doesn't she didn't

1392
01:11:58,479 --> 01:12:00,559
Speaker 1: know who I was, and I just sat there and

1393
01:12:00,640 --> 01:12:04,479
Speaker 1: held her and she just bald and bald and bald.

1394
01:12:04,520 --> 01:12:07,760
Speaker 1: I didn't even say what's wrong, what's going on. I

1395
01:12:07,840 --> 01:12:10,479
Speaker 1: just kept saying, it's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay.

1396
01:12:10,600 --> 01:12:13,320
Speaker 1: You're not alone, You're not alone, you know. And when

1397
01:12:13,320 --> 01:12:15,240
Speaker 1: she came to it was simply that she lost her

1398
01:12:15,280 --> 01:12:17,040
Speaker 1: car and she was just having a terrible day and

1399
01:12:17,080 --> 01:12:19,960
Speaker 1: it was silly. But she's gonna go do that for

1400
01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:23,320
Speaker 1: somebody now, And you've got to spread that around. And

1401
01:12:23,680 --> 01:12:26,799
Speaker 1: those things are more meaningful than all of the other bullshit.

1402
01:12:27,240 --> 01:12:29,320
Speaker 1: So when you can be there for a human being

1403
01:12:29,400 --> 01:12:32,479
Speaker 1: in a human way, the reward is just plentiful and

1404
01:12:32,520 --> 01:12:34,680
Speaker 1: it makes you feel like, Okay, I'm on the right

1405
01:12:34,680 --> 01:12:37,439
Speaker 1: side of things. I'm doing the right thing. I'm trying

1406
01:12:37,439 --> 01:12:39,880
Speaker 1: to be a good girl, and I want to be

1407
01:12:39,960 --> 01:12:42,280
Speaker 1: a good girl. I don't want to spread goodness. I

1408
01:12:42,400 --> 01:12:45,760
Speaker 1: love that. I love that. That That makes me want

1409
01:12:45,760 --> 01:12:47,800
Speaker 1: to ask you a question what I've asked it to

1410
01:12:47,880 --> 01:12:52,320
Speaker 1: you before when you when you came on the podcast.

1411
01:12:53,439 --> 01:12:56,680
Speaker 1: I'm curious now what your answer would be to me

1412
01:12:56,800 --> 01:12:59,960
Speaker 1: asking what in your life today feels like a work

1413
01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:06,000
Speaker 1: in progress. In my life feels like a work in progress. Well,

1414
01:13:06,160 --> 01:13:08,519
Speaker 1: my life feels like a work in progress right now

1415
01:13:08,560 --> 01:13:10,920
Speaker 1: because I'm in between homes. I'm in a rental home,

1416
01:13:11,560 --> 01:13:14,759
Speaker 1: I'm I'm about to I'm about to start a bunch

1417
01:13:14,760 --> 01:13:18,479
Speaker 1: of things, so everything's kind of influx, and I don't

1418
01:13:18,520 --> 01:13:21,400
Speaker 1: really have the normal grounding that I have, so I

1419
01:13:21,479 --> 01:13:25,680
Speaker 1: have to like ground myself during this time because I'm

1420
01:13:25,720 --> 01:13:27,960
Speaker 1: not in a house, my permanent house. You know, I'm

1421
01:13:27,960 --> 01:13:30,200
Speaker 1: looking all the time, I'm about to go on a tour,

1422
01:13:30,320 --> 01:13:32,720
Speaker 1: about to announce it. I'm just kind of in the

1423
01:13:32,760 --> 01:13:35,400
Speaker 1: middle of it. So I think my new stand up

1424
01:13:35,400 --> 01:13:38,200
Speaker 1: shows a work in progress. I'm a work in progress

1425
01:13:38,320 --> 01:13:41,200
Speaker 1: all the time. I haven't dealt with this much life

1426
01:13:41,280 --> 01:13:43,760
Speaker 1: change in a long time, so that would be my

1427
01:13:43,800 --> 01:13:46,160
Speaker 1: work in progress is dealing it with it in a

1428
01:13:46,200 --> 01:13:48,799
Speaker 1: way that I've never dealt with it before, like calmly

1429
01:13:49,439 --> 01:13:52,639
Speaker 1: and confidently and understanding now the things that I didn't

1430
01:13:52,720 --> 01:13:56,800
Speaker 1: understand before, which is there aren't mistakes in life. There

1431
01:13:56,800 --> 01:13:59,680
Speaker 1: are decisions that you make that maybe you could have

1432
01:13:59,720 --> 01:14:03,280
Speaker 1: made the differently, but nothing's a mistake and and not

1433
01:14:03,360 --> 01:14:06,760
Speaker 1: to shame yourself. That's something that I was also really important.

1434
01:14:07,360 --> 01:14:09,840
Speaker 1: I I hold myself to such a standard, and I've

1435
01:14:09,880 --> 01:14:13,960
Speaker 1: recently learned to just stop beating myself up. Stop it.

1436
01:14:14,280 --> 01:14:17,000
Speaker 1: Stop yelling at yourself. It's a bad dialogue to have,

1437
01:14:17,200 --> 01:14:18,920
Speaker 1: like why don't you do this? Or you gotta do this,

1438
01:14:19,040 --> 01:14:20,640
Speaker 1: or you gotta go there, or why don't you do this?

1439
01:14:21,080 --> 01:14:24,000
Speaker 1: It's like, no, no, no, no, no no, I'm done shaming myself.

1440
01:14:24,040 --> 01:14:26,800
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm in my skin, and I'm gonna make

1441
01:14:26,840 --> 01:14:29,679
Speaker 1: my decisions. And whatever decisions I make, I'm gonna stand

1442
01:14:29,680 --> 01:14:32,960
Speaker 1: by them and fulfill them and follow through with them

1443
01:14:33,280 --> 01:14:35,400
Speaker 1: and then move on to the next thing. Because I

1444
01:14:35,439 --> 01:14:38,519
Speaker 1: think the idea that nothing is permanent is couldn't be

1445
01:14:38,560 --> 01:14:41,680
Speaker 1: more true. And understanding that just because you're in a

1446
01:14:41,720 --> 01:14:46,519
Speaker 1: bad or a tough spot, it's not interminable. It ends,

1447
01:14:46,560 --> 01:14:49,400
Speaker 1: you know, it moves and we find goodness and happened,

1448
01:14:49,479 --> 01:14:52,280
Speaker 1: just like the happiness and the highs don't stay, neither

1449
01:14:52,320 --> 01:14:54,679
Speaker 1: do the lows. And you've got to get on board

1450
01:14:54,680 --> 01:14:56,920
Speaker 1: with that kind of roller coaster and understand that that

1451
01:14:57,040 --> 01:14:59,920
Speaker 1: is the way life works. And I think what strikes

1452
01:15:00,040 --> 01:15:03,320
Speaker 1: about the way you just said that is that there

1453
01:15:03,320 --> 01:15:05,400
Speaker 1: should be some joy and some freedom in the idea

1454
01:15:05,439 --> 01:15:09,720
Speaker 1: that it isn't permanent. Yes, it's like throw whatever at me,

1455
01:15:09,800 --> 01:15:12,760
Speaker 1: and I promise you I will laugh. Like I promise you,

1456
01:15:12,840 --> 01:15:15,000
Speaker 1: I will laugh and have a sense of humor about it.

1457
01:15:15,360 --> 01:15:17,759
Speaker 1: And that's how I like to think of my essence

1458
01:15:17,920 --> 01:15:22,240
Speaker 1: or my true inner being is is goodness and good vibes.

1459
01:15:22,840 --> 01:15:26,080
Speaker 1: Yeah it is. I love your vibes. I love your vibes.

1460
01:15:27,640 --> 01:15:31,200
Speaker 1: Thank you. Thanks for coming on today. I'm so excited

1461
01:15:31,240 --> 01:15:34,800
Speaker 1: about what's coming next. And I love the podcast and

1462
01:15:34,880 --> 01:15:37,599
Speaker 1: it's always fun having you on this one. Thanks baby.

1463
01:15:37,680 --> 01:15:39,599
Speaker 1: I love you too, and I love your podcast too,

1464
01:15:39,600 --> 01:15:42,720
Speaker 1: and congrats on everything. Um, write a fun role for

1465
01:15:42,760 --> 01:15:44,400
Speaker 1: me in your new show so I can come on

1466
01:15:44,680 --> 01:15:47,519
Speaker 1: and we can act together. I'll be a doctor. I'll

1467
01:15:47,520 --> 01:15:49,280
Speaker 1: be a doctor giving birth to a baby. That's a

1468
01:15:49,280 --> 01:15:53,360
Speaker 1: good idea. Okay, I'm ready for it. Give it to me, Okay, honey.

1469
01:15:53,400 --> 01:15:55,759
Speaker 1: I love you. I love you too. Thank you.