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Speaker 1: You can evolve, you can grow, you can become a

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Speaker 1: better version of yourself.

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Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, Emily Abadi here.

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Speaker 3: You are listening to episode two hundred and twenty three

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Speaker 3: of Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where I connect with

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Speaker 3: everyone from your favorite athletes to top experts and industry

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Speaker 3: CEOs about their highest highs, toughest moments, and everything in between.

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Speaker 3: We all go through hurdles in life, and my goal

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Speaker 3: through these discussions is to empower you to better navigate

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Speaker 3: yours and move with intention so that you can stride

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Speaker 3: towards your own big potential and of course have some

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Speaker 3: fun along the way. For today's episode, I cannot wait

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Speaker 3: for you to listen to my chat with Taylor Townsend.

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Speaker 3: She's a pro tennis player, new mom, and I would

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Speaker 3: argue that she is an advocate for body acceptance. Taylor

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Speaker 3: and I have a really, really beautiful conversation about what

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Speaker 3: that has looked like for her, not just since having

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Speaker 3: her son Aiden, but in her time as a professional

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Speaker 3: tennis player. She gets really open and honest about the

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Speaker 3: challenges that she's had with her body, sharing stories about

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Speaker 3: her time early in the sport when the USTA recommended

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Speaker 3: she take some time to work on her fitness.

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Speaker 2: I wish that I was making this up. At the time,

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Speaker 2: she was the.

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Speaker 3: Number one ranked junior tennis player in the world.

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Speaker 2: I know, I know. We talk all about that.

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Speaker 3: She gives us some insight as to what it felt

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Speaker 3: like to stand up for herself, and then we bring

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Speaker 3: it to the now. We talk about her comeback, and

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Speaker 3: yes it is a comeback because Taylor is playing so

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Speaker 3: so well now, just eighteen months after having her baby Aiden.

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Speaker 3: She was recently in the doubles final at the US Open,

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Speaker 3: which I had the good fortune of being there for.

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Speaker 3: Taylor talks about how that felt. She also gets very

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Speaker 3: candid about where she hopes to go in the future,

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Speaker 3: and I adore the dialogue we had about her choice

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Speaker 3: to wear a bomb bomb is an understatement cat suit

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Speaker 3: at the Open, both in honor of Serena as she

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Speaker 3: played in what could be her last ever match, and

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Speaker 3: to honor herself and the progress that she's made, not

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Speaker 3: just again since having the baby, but in accepting her

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Speaker 3: body and embracing all that it has to offer her

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Speaker 3: strength and so much more. Really really love this combo.

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Speaker 3: So happy to bring it to you. A huge thank

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Speaker 3: you to Taylor for making the time.

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Speaker 2: If you're not following.

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Speaker 3: Along with Hurdle on social media yet, please go on

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Speaker 3: over And so it's over at Hurdle podcast. I am

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Speaker 3: over at Emily a body and with that, let's get

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Speaker 3: to hurdling.

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Speaker 2: Today.

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Speaker 3: I am sitting down with Taylor Townsend. She is a

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Speaker 3: pro tennis player. How are you doing today, Taylor?

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Speaker 4: I'm amazing. How are you?

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Speaker 2: I feel like giddy.

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Speaker 3: At the opportunity to talk to you because I feel

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Speaker 3: like I was just I hate using.

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Speaker 2: The word fangirling, but it gona. I'm gonna withdraw.

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Speaker 3: I was just so hyped to see you play in

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Speaker 3: the Open. I'm still on a high from that. How

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Speaker 3: are you feeling after that?

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Speaker 4: Well, to be honest, like I'm back to reality, Like.

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Speaker 1: You know, I'm off of the cloud, and like, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's crazy because, like you know, you make a final

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Speaker 1: of a Grand Slam, You're playing in the final US Open.

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Speaker 1: You know, last day, unbelievable atmosphere, environment, feelings. You know,

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Speaker 1: I've kind of enjoyed myself for a few days in

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Speaker 1: New York, came back home.

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Speaker 4: Then my dad's like, hey, we need help.

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Speaker 1: With the yard sale, and hey, I need to do this,

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Speaker 1: and oh, got to get the baby, and oh I

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Speaker 1: need to unpack. Oh back to practice and fitness and

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Speaker 1: all of the regular normal things. So definitely when I

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Speaker 1: got back home, it was a bit of welcome back

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Speaker 1: to reality. But I definitely did take a couple of

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Speaker 1: days like after and just really enjoyed myself in New York.

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Speaker 1: And it was definitely kind of a life changing experience.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, making it to that final. What an amazing accomplishment?

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Speaker 2: Is that? Really where you thought you'd.

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Speaker 1: Be Definitely not you know, I really set high goals

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Speaker 1: for myself, like when I started this whole process, like

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Speaker 1: about a year ago, a year and a half ago,

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Speaker 1: and I really did set high markers. But to be

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Speaker 1: in the finals of a Grand Slam, like it doesn't

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Speaker 1: matter for me if it's singles or doubles, Like, it's

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Speaker 1: still such an amazing accomplishment because, like, you know, I

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Speaker 1: played a lot of people who have been playing while

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Speaker 1: I've been out, So for me to be able to

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Speaker 1: come back and like play at a very high level

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Speaker 1: and compete, like, it's just amazing. So but I think it,

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Speaker 1: you know, I did it before, like when I was

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Speaker 1: pregnant with Aiden, I was three months pregnant with him,

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Speaker 1: and I made the semi finals of the twenty twenty

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Speaker 1: US Open, So that kind of showed like, Okay, I

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Speaker 1: can do it. But then to be able to go

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Speaker 1: one step further and like get to the finals, you know,

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Speaker 1: it means it means a lot to me, But it

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Speaker 1: also kind of cemented like okay, like you can do this,

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Speaker 1: like you belong in this place. And doubles always helps

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Speaker 1: with my singles game, so I know that it's just

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Speaker 1: a matter of time before you know, things start to

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Speaker 1: merge in a line.

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Speaker 3: Things start to merge in a line. What an impressive

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Speaker 3: story though truly pregnant in the semis then post baby

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Speaker 3: in the finals. I mean when you hear that, does

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Speaker 3: it even feel real?

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Speaker 1: Well for me, it does because I just know all

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Speaker 1: of the shit that I went through to go like

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Speaker 1: to get to that point, and so it's like it's amazing,

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Speaker 1: but like I truly believe that I deserve to be

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Speaker 1: there because I worked my asshole to get back to playing,

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Speaker 1: to be able to just walk out on the court

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Speaker 1: and to compete and trust my body again, Like I

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Speaker 1: worked so hard to get back to this place. So

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Speaker 1: it's just like Honestly, I'm not gonna say it's surprising,

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Speaker 1: but I just know, and I'm very confident in like

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Speaker 1: all of the.

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Speaker 4: Work that I put in to get to this place,

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Speaker 4: and like.

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Speaker 1: I could personally say for myself, like I've never had

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Speaker 1: to do anything this hard. So it's given me a

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Speaker 1: ton of strength and confidence, like within myself because I've

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Speaker 1: never been tested or challenged in this way, like in

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Speaker 1: playing professional tennis or you know, even though I've had

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Speaker 1: adversity in other ways, but being pregnant, having a child,

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Speaker 1: like having major surgery, like having a c section, and

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Speaker 1: then having to come back, like it's just it's something

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Speaker 1: that I never had to do. Like before I struggled

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Speaker 1: with losing a little twenty pounds and I had to

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Speaker 1: go and I had to lose like eighty so and

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Speaker 1: went beyond that.

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Speaker 4: So, like, you know, it just really put a lot

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Speaker 4: of things in perspective for me.

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Speaker 3: Let's bring it back to the twenty pounds. Let's bring

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Speaker 3: it back to as you mentioned, the adversity. You're not

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Speaker 3: new to this game, you've been in it for a minute,

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Speaker 3: but you have been facing challenges within tennis for some time.

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Speaker 3: So why don't we start by talking about first getting

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Speaker 3: in to tennis as a young woman from the South

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Speaker 3: side of Chicago who didn't see a lot of people

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Speaker 3: that looked like her at the court. Talk to me

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Speaker 3: about what that was like for you starting out.

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Speaker 1: The amazing thing was like when I was growing up,

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Speaker 1: like I had my older sister, She's two years older

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Speaker 1: than me, and so she started playing and I used

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Speaker 1: to just crash her lessons and I would be really

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Speaker 1: mad because like I wasn't playing, but like she was

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Speaker 1: having a lesson but I wasn't. So then I would

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Speaker 1: like go in the court and like throw balls and

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Speaker 1: try to make her trip or like just just distract

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Speaker 1: her because I was like I wanted to be out there,

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Speaker 1: and so I was like, if she's doing it, I

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Speaker 1: can do it, you know. So I mean it was great,

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Speaker 1: like I had that person, and then we grew up

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Speaker 1: playing together. So obviously the Williams sisters were always two

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Speaker 1: people that we looked up to and tried to emulate

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Speaker 1: because we were both playing at a high level throughout

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Speaker 1: the juniors and like we're kind of tracking with each other. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: like my sister got had a really really bad knee

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Speaker 1: injury later in her career, and then she took the

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Speaker 1: college route, which was amazing because you know, she tore

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Speaker 1: all the ligaments in her knee and had nerve damage

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Speaker 1: in her foot and still rehabbed, came back and was

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Speaker 1: able to get a scholarship to school, and just her

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Speaker 1: story is amazing just for her, like in that in alone,

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Speaker 1: it just gives me so much, you know, inspiration when

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Speaker 1: I'm down or I'm not feeling you know, confident, I

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Speaker 1: can talk to her about that.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, just being young.

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Speaker 1: Like I had a lot of people even from four

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Speaker 1: years old, like telling my coaches at the time, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: she's too fat, like she's not gonna make it, you know,

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Speaker 1: just kind of like putting labels on me because I

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Speaker 1: wasn't like the normal.

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Speaker 4: I wasn't I.

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Speaker 1: Didn't play like everyone else, Like I didn't look like

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Speaker 1: everyone else, Like I didn't have that build or anything

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Speaker 1: like that. And you know, so I remember that like

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Speaker 1: people telling me, oh, yeah, you know, she's not she's

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Speaker 1: not gonna like she she'll be good, but like not

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Speaker 1: good enough to go pro and like just putting those

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Speaker 1: labels on me. So it's amazing that like people can

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Speaker 1: say that, even like about a four year old or

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Speaker 1: five year old, which is like insane, especially for me

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Speaker 1: being a parent, Like how could that even be possible?

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Speaker 1: And honestly, just think about it like makes my stomach boil,

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Speaker 1: and if that ever happened, like I'd probably fight if

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Speaker 1: that was like my kid, just because like I just

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Speaker 1: I went through it, so I would just would and

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Speaker 1: tolerate that in any way, shape or form. Honestly, it

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Speaker 1: wasn't so much about like who was around, but I

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Speaker 1: think seeing like being a sin Serena playing like really

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Speaker 1: made me feel as those possible and just to kind

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Speaker 1: of tie that in, which is one of the reasons why,

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Speaker 1: like I put on my Instagram when I found out

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Speaker 1: this Serena was retiring, and I put up kind of

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Speaker 1: like an appreciation post. I was just like, you know,

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Speaker 1: you struggled so we didn't have to, and you know,

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Speaker 1: those are the moments that I think about where I

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Speaker 1: saw them on TV and like going through adversity, people

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Speaker 1: not accepting them, people you know, talking bad about them,

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Speaker 1: and no one's excited about being a Sinserena being.

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Speaker 4: Out on the core.

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Speaker 1: It was more of the opposite, like hoping for the

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Speaker 1: worst and then to think of where we are now

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Speaker 1: like seeing Coco myself, Madison Ky Sloan like so, and

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Speaker 1: a lot of up and coming like junior players like

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Speaker 1: for them to be have the crowd support and the

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Speaker 1: fans support and people truly excited to get their autograph

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Speaker 1: and take a picture, Like just look at how much

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Speaker 1: things have changed over the years. So you know, the

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Speaker 1: representation of just being able to see it done once

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Speaker 1: is so powerful and yeah, I'm really thankful for that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and so it's so great to hear that from

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Speaker 3: a young age, like you had this positive role model

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Speaker 3: within your sister, and then as the both of you

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Speaker 3: came up, then you had other individuals to look toward.

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Speaker 3: But when we go back to that discussion of perhaps

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Speaker 3: the parents are on the court criticizing your abilities, do

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Speaker 3: you think that was because purely of your Wii or

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Speaker 3: do you also feel like the color of your skin

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Speaker 3: had something to do with it.

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Speaker 1: Most of the people who are judging me at the

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Speaker 1: time looked like me, which is crazy. I think it

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Speaker 1: was more so. Tennis is a very like visual sport.

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Speaker 1: Aesthetics are a lot. Aesthetics mean a lot. So we've

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Speaker 1: seen that when it comes to endorsements, we've seen that

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Speaker 1: when it comes to you know a lot of different

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Speaker 1: things both on and off court, who people support, who

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Speaker 1: they're into, you know, all of that stuff. So it's

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Speaker 1: very much a visually driven sport. So you know, it

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Speaker 1: might not have been anything to do with my weight.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure like at that age, like hey,

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Speaker 1: how much do you weigh? Like people aren't doing that.

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Speaker 4: I didn't even know how much I weighed, But it

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Speaker 4: was just about.

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Speaker 1: How I looked and that I didn't have the typical

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Speaker 1: look of everybody else and I haven't had the typical

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Speaker 1: look and I don't have the typical look, and you know,

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Speaker 1: even still like my post baby body, like it's not

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Speaker 1: like everyone else's, but it's way better than what it

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Speaker 1: was before, which was the goal that I set for myself.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like so comfortable in my skin, and of

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Speaker 1: course I have my insecure moments because of what I've

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Speaker 1: gone through within this tennis world. But like you know,

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Speaker 1: it was a big kind of jump for me to

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Speaker 1: like wear the cats are at the Open because I

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Speaker 1: was like, I'm making a statement and I'm going to

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Speaker 1: do this person arena, but also like I feel like

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Speaker 1: I just want to show all of the work that

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Speaker 1: I've done and like that I feel good and like

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Speaker 1: my skin and who I am. So yeah, Like I

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Speaker 1: just think it was more so of what people saw

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Speaker 1: and immediately they put the label on that, and I

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Speaker 1: think that that's in I think it's ignorance in a way,

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Speaker 1: because you know, you're not giving things a chance to

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Speaker 1: flourish or really giving a person the chance of the

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Speaker 1: benefit of the doubt. It's really like you putting them

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Speaker 1: in this box from just what you see maybe in

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Speaker 1: a few seconds or a few minutes. So honestly, like,

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Speaker 1: I'm glad that it happened because it's made me who

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Speaker 1: I am and it's kind of put that fuel in

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Speaker 1: my fire to continue to like prove people wrong. And

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Speaker 1: I've done that many times, and now I'm at the

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Speaker 1: place where I'm like proving things to myself, like what

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Speaker 1: can I do? And how can I show me? How

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Speaker 1: can I show up for me? Like all the time?

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Speaker 3: All the time? A couple of things to double click on.

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Speaker 3: The first thing, do you remember earlier on, maybe not

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Speaker 3: at four or five, but as you were coming into

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Speaker 3: your teenage years, how some of those criticisms made you feel.

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Speaker 1: Oh, for sure, Like I used to take things like

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Speaker 1: so personally, because like I just tried so hard for

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Speaker 1: people to love me and like me, and you know,

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Speaker 1: I just always have been cognizant of like how I

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Speaker 1: treated people and what I said and what I did

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Speaker 1: and how I acted.

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Speaker 4: So it was just like I.

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Speaker 1: Couldn't like I never gave anyone a reason to talk bad,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, these people don't even know me, like

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Speaker 1: you've never met me, Like how can you say that?

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Speaker 1: So I used to really take things very personally, especially

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Speaker 1: when I was younger, and like social media just started

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Speaker 1: kind of like coming out, you know, and so I

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Speaker 1: for several times I remember taking like long breaks from

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Speaker 1: social media just to be able to like breathe and

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Speaker 1: not have to worry about like if I lost getting

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Speaker 1: bombarded with those messages or people like spamming all of

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Speaker 1: my pictures and like putting really disgusting comments under my stuff. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I remember, like it made me feel terrible, and honestly,

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Speaker 1: like I took it personally because I was just like.

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Speaker 4: I'm not out here tanking, like I'm trying.

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Speaker 1: You know, And it always sucked because anytime that I lost,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't because I was having a bad day or

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Speaker 1: I played bad or my opponent played really well. Like

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Speaker 1: every time that I lost, it was always tied to

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Speaker 1: like some way shape or form my body image and

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Speaker 1: my fitness and conditioning, and that was always a topic

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Speaker 1: of discussion, which became very annoying after a while. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: like it was just it was a tough time. It

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Speaker 1: still happens, but like I just don't care anymore, and

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Speaker 1: I've learned how to deal with it. And I've learned,

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Speaker 1: like I'm kind of like a bird to have like

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Speaker 1: that oil where the water just slides off, Like I

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00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,600
Speaker 1: have that where it just like it literally just rolls off,

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Speaker 1: and I just have like an incredibly efficient system of like.

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Speaker 4: Block report, block reports. I'm really good at that.

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Speaker 3: You're like, this is a skill I have also improved

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Speaker 3: since my young years as I started playing kindness. You know,

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Speaker 3: it's really hard to do that, right, It's really hard

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Speaker 3: to get to a place where I won't even say

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Speaker 3: that you feel so confident in your skin, not that

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Speaker 3: you don't, but to get to a place where you

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Speaker 3: truly can just let it go.

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Speaker 2: Because it doesn't.

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Speaker 3: Matter how quote unquote good you are at doing that,

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Speaker 3: that doesn't mean that there aren't still going to be

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Speaker 3: moments where you see something that comes up and it

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Speaker 3: doesn't feel good.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean the key is, just like you said,

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Speaker 1: letting it go, and like, I think that's the essence

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Speaker 1: of life. But also the sport that we play, tennis

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Speaker 1: is a game where you like win and lose literally

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Speaker 1: like you win points and lose points. I mean imagine

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Speaker 1: like Rafa or Alpaaz where they're playing five hour matches

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Speaker 1: or like three and a half hour matches and you're

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Speaker 1: winning and losing points off and on for the duration

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Speaker 1: of like three and a half hours. Like you have

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Speaker 1: to let shit go. If you don't, it's going to

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Speaker 1: be fast. It's gonna be a quick match, Shake hands,

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Speaker 1: and you're out of there. So, like, you know, it's

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Speaker 1: it's a skill that you have to learn, and you

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Speaker 1: have to learn how to apply it in different aspects

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Speaker 1: and areas, and like how long does it take for

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Speaker 1: you to let things go? You know? And I think

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Speaker 1: that that's a skill that it takes honing in on.

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Speaker 1: It takes attention because it's not easy and it forces

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Speaker 1: you to have to kind of like face those ugly

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00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,680
Speaker 1: issues or those feelings that you might not want to address.

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Speaker 1: You just it's easy to kind of put it to

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Speaker 1: the side, but you don't know how it's affecting you

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00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,480
Speaker 1: or you know how things are lingering around.

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Speaker 4: Because you didn't let it go.

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Speaker 1: So I just think that that's so symbolic of just,

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Speaker 1: you know, life and the things that we go through

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00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:42,119
Speaker 1: on a daily basis, but also tennis just in general,

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00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:46,280
Speaker 1: because it's like a total one ninety nine point nine

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Speaker 1: to nine percent mental game.

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Speaker 3: You speaking about it definitely impacting you, especially when you

350
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:56,159
Speaker 3: were younger twenty twelve, number one ring junior tennis player

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Speaker 3: in the world. How does someone at that age learn

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00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,440
Speaker 3: to let shit go?

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Speaker 1: Well, I I remember like crying because I just got

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Speaker 1: off the phone with the person who at the time

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Speaker 1: was like head of women's tennis, and they're saying, hey, Taylor,

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Speaker 1: you know you need to come back and train for

357
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Speaker 1: ten to twelve weeks no tournaments. And I was like, well, wait,

358
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Speaker 1: like I'm gonna miss the US Open and they're like yeah,

359
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,280
Speaker 1: and I was like what, Like I was just so

360
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Speaker 1: excited about getting a wild card because I was like

361
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:36,040
Speaker 1: for sure, like why like why would it not? And

362
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Speaker 1: so I remember like back in my hotel room, I'll

363
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Speaker 1: never forget I was in Vancouver, Canada, and I was

364
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Speaker 1: in my room just crying, and I was just like,

365
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Speaker 1: what the heck? And then as things progressed and I realized, oh,

366
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Speaker 1: like I'm really not going like they were serious, like okay,

367
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Speaker 1: everyone's gone and I'm only I'm the only one here

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Speaker 1: down in Boca, Like, oh, this is really happening. And

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Speaker 1: you know, I took it upon myself, and you know,

370
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:08,359
Speaker 1: several people really helped me to be able to get

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Speaker 1: me there, and I ended up making it to the

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Speaker 1: round of sixteen or quarters in singles, won the doubles

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Speaker 1: that year. And I remember saying to myself, Okay, how

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Speaker 1: do I want to handle this? Like I can either

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00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,119
Speaker 1: give them the power or I can take the power.

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Speaker 1: But it's all in how I deliver this message. And

377
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:37,400
Speaker 1: so I was just like, you know, I just tried

378
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:41,119
Speaker 1: to take control of the situation and not allow the

379
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:45,040
Speaker 1: situation and what happened and the person the people involved

380
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Speaker 1: to have any power at all. So I just totally

381
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:52,639
Speaker 1: just redirected it to like I'm here, I'm playing. It

382
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:55,960
Speaker 1: doesn't matter what's happening. I'm here.

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Speaker 4: Look you know what I mean, Like you want it?

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00:19:58,760 --> 00:19:59,760
Speaker 4: You didn't want me to be here, but.

385
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Speaker 1: And then just try to turn every negative thing into

386
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Speaker 1: a positive, like, yeah, you know, they didn't want me

387
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,200
Speaker 1: to come, but I'm here.

388
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:11,640
Speaker 4: You know, I.

389
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Speaker 1: Didn't get a wild card, but I'm I'm I still

390
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:15,040
Speaker 1: have a junior ranking, I'm number one, so I'm here.

391
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,159
Speaker 1: You know, that didn't stop me from being able to

392
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Speaker 1: get into the tournament. So I remember just trying to

393
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:25,639
Speaker 1: really take control of like the narrative and being able

394
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:30,080
Speaker 1: to just redirect people to a more positive place because,

395
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Speaker 1: like I one of the big things that I can't

396
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,600
Speaker 1: say and is like blaming. So I was like, I'm

397
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Speaker 1: not gonna give them the power to be able to

398
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:39,320
Speaker 1: say that this is the reason why things derailed or

399
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:43,080
Speaker 1: I didn't do whatever people thought was I was gonna do,

400
00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:46,879
Speaker 1: or my career didn't happen the way people thought it

401
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:50,320
Speaker 1: was gonna happen, and it be because of this sole thing, Like, no,

402
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:52,680
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that. So yeah, like it was a

403
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:55,200
Speaker 1: it was a very like mature decision that I made.

404
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,640
Speaker 1: At the time, I didn't realize that it was that,

405
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:01,879
Speaker 1: but honestly just didn't want to give like that organization,

406
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:05,920
Speaker 1: the people within the organization or the lost opportunity, any

407
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:09,000
Speaker 1: power that it was going to stop me from doing

408
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,119
Speaker 1: what I wanted or needed to do to continue to

409
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Speaker 1: move forward.

410
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:13,520
Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow.

411
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:17,640
Speaker 3: So going to that tournament anyway, without the support from

412
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:22,840
Speaker 3: the association, it felt in a way something that you

413
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,520
Speaker 3: were really proud to do. You were happy to step

414
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:28,960
Speaker 3: into your power. But what happened after that.

415
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:33,280
Speaker 1: Well, it was it was a little bit rocky. It

416
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:36,320
Speaker 1: was definitely weird because I was down in Florida by myself.

417
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 1: So then like after, you know, we get back and

418
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 1: I'm just like, ooh, what do I do now? You know,

419
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 1: you're around adults and business people and everything, and like

420
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 1: obviously a lot of people had very bad tastes in

421
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Speaker 1: their mouth.

422
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:53,399
Speaker 4: So you know, I just I tried to navigate it

423
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Speaker 4: the best way that I could.

424
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Speaker 1: But like I said, I just knew that I could

425
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,520
Speaker 1: control what I could control and I wasn't going to

426
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:01,720
Speaker 1: like it just wasn't gonna I'm just wasn't gonna allow

427
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 1: it to stop me. So I'm just like, you know, what,

428
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,520
Speaker 1: whatever is thrown at me, which I didn't know what

429
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,399
Speaker 1: was gonna happen at the time, whatever is thrown at me, Like,

430
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,520
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna keep like putting one foot in front

431
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:13,160
Speaker 1: of the other, like I'm gonna keep my head down

432
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 1: and I'm just gonna.

433
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Speaker 4: Keep working, and like.

434
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 1: It wasn't easy, but in my path once I turned pro,

435
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:25,239
Speaker 1: because after that year in twenty twelve was you know,

436
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,639
Speaker 1: twenty thirteen, this was my first year pro, And I

437
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:32,080
Speaker 1: would easily say the first four to five years of

438
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:36,240
Speaker 1: my pro career like weren't anything like.

439
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:39,000
Speaker 4: My peers or the people that I was playing.

440
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:41,800
Speaker 1: Against, like in the juniors, Like it wasn't typical in

441
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:44,640
Speaker 1: any way, shape or form. But again, like I wouldn't

442
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,320
Speaker 1: change it because it made me who I am, and

443
00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 1: it taught me a lot of like learning lessons about

444
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:57,360
Speaker 1: many things, you know, scheduling, coaching, you know, trust, self belief,

445
00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:01,560
Speaker 1: where to go, team members, people, your circle, how important

446
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:03,920
Speaker 1: your circle is, and the people that you put around you,

447
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 1: like who you let in your ear when it comes

448
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:11,280
Speaker 1: to your game. Mental you know, I experienced like so

449
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,720
Speaker 1: many things and it was it that some of it

450
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:17,879
Speaker 1: was okay, some of it was good, a lot of

451
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 1: it wasn't so good, but it was it taught me

452
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,840
Speaker 1: how to navigate those different areas and like it was

453
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 1: just I would just call it growing pains, but like

454
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 1: now being an adult, like I'm able to kind of

455
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 1: decipher those things a lot better now and not make

456
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,879
Speaker 1: those same mistakes. And I'm very confident that I could,

457
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 1: you know, guide someone else in that way. And it's

458
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,639
Speaker 1: also like kind of a full circle because those lessons

459
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:43,840
Speaker 1: that I learned, it just doesn't apply for tennis or

460
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:47,880
Speaker 1: like my career, Like these are life lessons. So it's

461
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:50,679
Speaker 1: made me such a more well rounded individual. So like

462
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 1: I know that I can pass these lessons along to

463
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:57,040
Speaker 1: my son, and I know that, like I can tell

464
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 1: him a story and associate it with a feeling that

465
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 1: I felt before, so then I can say, hey, like

466
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,280
Speaker 1: I know what that feels like, so I can either

467
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:07,399
Speaker 1: relate or help guide him to where it's like, Okay,

468
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:10,119
Speaker 1: you don't have to make that mistake because I did, so,

469
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 1: like I said, I wouldn't really change it for anything,

470
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:15,480
Speaker 1: because it's been kind of a blessing in disguise.

471
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 3: I cannot even imagine how it must have been told

472
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:24,199
Speaker 3: by the USTA that your quote unquote not fit to play.

473
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,040
Speaker 2: I use that like loosely here.

474
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 3: Still wanting so badly to work so hard to be

475
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:35,399
Speaker 3: good based on their standards like that's so frustrating to me.

476
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 1: For you, Yeah, and it was frustrating too because I

477
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:40,919
Speaker 1: was just like I just at some point I was

478
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:42,760
Speaker 1: just like I don't even understand, like what else I

479
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:43,160
Speaker 1: could do?

480
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 4: And I hit that wall several times.

481
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:47,880
Speaker 1: It's just like I literally don't know, Like there's nobody

482
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:50,000
Speaker 1: here who's playing in the juniors that did what I did,

483
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 1: that has done what I've done, Like I'm basically topping

484
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 1: myself and you're still not saying that it's good enough.

485
00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 4: And so he's just like constantly.

486
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:01,400
Speaker 1: Searching for that like approval and acceptance and like you said,

487
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 1: just continuing to work and work and work, And I'm like,

488
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 1: well what else? Like it just you ask that question,

489
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 1: and you ask that question of yourself. I wasn't brave

490
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,639
Speaker 1: enough to ask that question to them, but you know,

491
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,679
Speaker 1: I was asking it through like my work ethic, like

492
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:18,159
Speaker 1: what else can I do? What else can I do?

493
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 1: What else can I do? But eventually, you know, it

494
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:24,119
Speaker 1: just becomes too much. But yeah, it was incredibly frustrating.

495
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 2: But a lot.

496
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,639
Speaker 3: Of time has passed since, like this particular incident that

497
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:31,960
Speaker 3: we're talking about, do you feel as though you've been

498
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:37,360
Speaker 3: able to have progressive conversations within the sports specifically that

499
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 3: will hopefully You mentioned a lot of the big names

500
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:45,480
Speaker 3: in the arena right now, so many strong, powerful, other

501
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,400
Speaker 3: woman of color. Do you feel as though the conversation

502
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:52,960
Speaker 3: is a lot more let's say, compassionate and progressive or

503
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,879
Speaker 3: do you think that we're still kind of dealing with

504
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:57,160
Speaker 3: some of the same issues that you were dealing with

505
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 3: ten years ago.

506
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,560
Speaker 4: I don't think we're dealing with the same issues.

507
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 1: It could be the same issues, just different circumstances, but

508
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:10,200
Speaker 1: I personally wouldn't say that we've that. There have has

509
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:15,560
Speaker 1: been more progressive conversations around like body I'm not gonna

510
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 1: say body positivity, but body image and how it affects

511
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 1: you because there was nobody else, none of my counterparts

512
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:27,160
Speaker 1: were dealing with that, Like there were no other people.

513
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:30,880
Speaker 4: Like even to this day, like Coco was this tall.

514
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 1: Lengthy, like skinny, really long legs, really long arms, like

515
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 1: she's thirteen, but like that was her, Like it's the

516
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,399
Speaker 1: total opposite spectrum of like what I was dealing with.

517
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:43,880
Speaker 1: So it was more so like she's got to fill out,

518
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,200
Speaker 1: she's got to get more muscle, she's got to get stronger,

519
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 1: she's got to put on weight. Da da da da,

520
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,560
Speaker 1: And it's like for me, it's at fifteen, it's, oh,

521
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:53,320
Speaker 1: you got to lose weight, you gotta do this, and

522
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:55,040
Speaker 1: you know, but to whose standard?

523
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:56,080
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.

524
00:26:56,520 --> 00:27:00,880
Speaker 1: So I think that there's been more of an acceptance

525
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:05,440
Speaker 1: that there are people who look differently. But I think

526
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 1: that there's still the stigma of like it's still the

527
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:13,960
Speaker 1: visual and like the visual aesthetic like matters, you know. Yeah,

528
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,960
Speaker 1: So I don't I personally don't believe that, like in

529
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:18,639
Speaker 1: terms I'm not gonna say, I don't want to call

530
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 1: it body positivity because there have been a lot more

531
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:26,199
Speaker 1: conversations around body positivity and like being comfortable in your

532
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 1: own skin. But I don't think that really people have

533
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:32,760
Speaker 1: like dove into like this part of it, of like

534
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 1: this side of the spectrum.

535
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 3: I feel that as though it's more body acceptance than

536
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:40,160
Speaker 3: body positivity.

537
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, but if you've never gone through that, or you

538
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 1: haven't had people like criticize your body, like, you know,

539
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:48,640
Speaker 1: I don't feel like you can.

540
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 4: Really.

541
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:51,840
Speaker 1: I feel like everyone has that, like especially as women,

542
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,199
Speaker 1: like our bodies change constantly, right, so there's a kind

543
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 1: of a relating factor in that way. I mean you

544
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 1: can literally fluctuate ten pounds, you know, from your side

545
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:02,800
Speaker 1: goals to not to like you know, things changed constantly,

546
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,320
Speaker 1: but like in terms of it being tied directly to

547
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:12,920
Speaker 1: your performance and like your self image, your performance, your results,

548
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,960
Speaker 1: your opportunity, Like how often has that really happened. I

549
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,560
Speaker 1: don't think that's happened like a lot, and I have

550
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:21,040
Speaker 1: I personally can just speak for myself. I haven't had

551
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 1: those conversations with like other people, but I know that

552
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 1: I've had conversations where it's like we know your story

553
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,480
Speaker 1: and we didn't do certain things because of what you

554
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:34,720
Speaker 1: went through. So even though like we're not necessarily having

555
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:40,560
Speaker 1: those conversations, my story and my experiences have been able

556
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:42,800
Speaker 1: to help in some way, shape or form for other

557
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 1: people to like avoid those pitfalls. So I feel as

558
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 1: though like it's it's a win, you know, like even

559
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,760
Speaker 1: though I had to go through it, like it allowed

560
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:55,000
Speaker 1: other people to navigate better so that they didn't have

561
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 1: to go through certain things or like we're able to

562
00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 1: avoid certain pitfalls, So like I think that's good.

563
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 4: And then just obviously.

564
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 1: The conversation around like the mental health side as well.

565
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:08,600
Speaker 1: I think that's kind of taken more of a front

566
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:12,800
Speaker 1: seat because you know, mental health kind of encompasses that

567
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:19,200
Speaker 1: whole you know, body image, body awareness, by like body acceptance.

568
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:19,440
Speaker 4: You know.

569
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:22,520
Speaker 1: I think mental health kind of it's like an umbrella

570
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 1: of those things because it's like, you know, how you're

571
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 1: feeling about yourself, how you're in, how is that tied

572
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 1: to your game, how is it tied to you know,

573
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 1: all these different things. So I think mental health has

574
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 1: kind of like umbrella that and and that is being

575
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,480
Speaker 1: talked about more. And I think that a lot of

576
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:46,320
Speaker 1: people and different players have specific and unique stories of

577
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 1: mental health, and as we continue to talk about it,

578
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:51,520
Speaker 1: we will see and be able to connect with each

579
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:56,120
Speaker 1: other more, maybe not the same exact experiences, but in

580
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 1: terms of how it made us feel and how it

581
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 1: made us move, navigate, how it changed us, how it didn't,

582
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 1: how did it empower us, how did it break us down?

583
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 1: Like I feel like once we get to the knitting

584
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 1: gritty of like those different topics, I feel like there

585
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 1: are some things that will overlap. So I just think

586
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:16,280
Speaker 1: that we have to continue to talk about it, and

587
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 1: people have to be willing to like be vulnerable and

588
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 1: make have those discussions.

589
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 3: You know, yeah, going back to what you said before

590
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:31,480
Speaker 3: about playing after having your baby, like and knowing that

591
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:34,479
Speaker 3: it wasn't the criticism was still going to be based,

592
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:36,960
Speaker 3: like on your body depending on how your performance went.

593
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 3: I think about that so often as someone who, let's say,

594
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 3: over the last year, I've maybe gained something like ten

595
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 3: or fifteen pounds and I love running.

596
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:49,400
Speaker 2: I feel so good when I'm running.

597
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 3: I'm gearing up for a marathon and it'll be my

598
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:57,680
Speaker 3: eleventh marathon, and I still think about or worry a

599
00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:01,400
Speaker 3: little bit thinking about what the result will be, and

600
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:04,880
Speaker 3: what someone's feedback on that result will be, and if it.

601
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:06,720
Speaker 2: Will be based on my body.

602
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:11,000
Speaker 3: I am so in a great place knowing that whatever

603
00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:14,160
Speaker 3: the outcome of my next marathon is, I am going

604
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 3: into it excited to run for the feeling of loving

605
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:20,880
Speaker 3: running like that is literally my only.

606
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 2: Mo going out there.

607
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:26,480
Speaker 3: But I do wonder and think about in the back

608
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:28,600
Speaker 3: of my head, like who's going to have something to

609
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:29,239
Speaker 3: say about this?

610
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 2: But it's the work that we do, and it's the way.

611
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 3: That we visualize those conversations, and it's how we choose

612
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 3: to move forward and react to our feelings that is

613
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:41,320
Speaker 3: within our own control. It goes back to what you

614
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 3: were saying, like I now know what I can do

615
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 3: to react or what is not worth reacting to at all.

616
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 4: And that's amazing.

617
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:55,680
Speaker 1: Like I don't want to say congratulations, but like congratulations

618
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 1: for like getting to that place, because it's not easy.

619
00:31:58,120 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 4: Like I think about that all the time.

620
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:03,280
Speaker 1: This extra five pound's gonna make you know, it's gonna

621
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 1: make me slower, like is it? Like it just constantly

622
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 1: like a thing that unfortunately like has been seared into

623
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 1: my brain and I have to kind of keep it

624
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:15,640
Speaker 1: in perspective and I have to, like I have to

625
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:18,600
Speaker 1: check myself a lot of the times, because, like you said,

626
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:21,120
Speaker 1: it's a mental and emotional baggage that we carry, that

627
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 1: we kind of put on ourselves and that we decide

628
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 1: to continue to carry along even though it's not you know,

629
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:30,560
Speaker 1: even though you only need to carry on, you might

630
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 1: not even need that.

631
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:33,680
Speaker 4: You might you might just you might just need a perse.

632
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:36,160
Speaker 3: I was literally just gonna say, like, even though you

633
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:38,560
Speaker 3: chose to check your bag on this flight, somehow you're

634
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 3: still bringing along a carry on for shits and giggles, carry.

635
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:44,440
Speaker 4: On, backpack, perse personal.

636
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:46,280
Speaker 1: Item like the whole you know, the whole thing, like

637
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:49,600
Speaker 1: every piece of luggage that you're able to bring on

638
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:52,880
Speaker 1: the flight, like you bring it. So like sometimes we

639
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 1: have to have those hard conversations with ourselves and just

640
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:58,600
Speaker 1: be like stop, you know, like whatever that thing is

641
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:00,760
Speaker 1: that you kind of have to shake yourself out of it.

642
00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:03,040
Speaker 1: But sometimes, you know, you don't get to that place,

643
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:06,120
Speaker 1: and then you get into whatever the thing is that

644
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 1: you're doing and it's affecting you and you have to

645
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:12,080
Speaker 1: either deal with it in that moment or you deal

646
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 1: with it, you know after, but you have to really

647
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 1: be honest with yourself of like mentally, where was I

648
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 1: Like was I one hundred percent here or were there

649
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 1: other anchors that I was like that I had that

650
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:27,400
Speaker 1: were making me sink to the bottom. So like it's uncomfortable,

651
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 1: but especially like for me, Like I wouldn't say uncomfortable,

652
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,240
Speaker 1: it's more frustrating for me because I'm like, why do.

653
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:36,720
Speaker 4: I still think like this, like what are you doing?

654
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 2: You know?

655
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 1: I'm just like you literally are just have knocked out

656
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:43,960
Speaker 1: the park. Like every business test that I've done in

657
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:47,200
Speaker 1: the past, like eat the weight all that stuff, like

658
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,320
Speaker 1: you weigh less, your body, fats less or this or

659
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:51,680
Speaker 1: that or this or that, like you're much more fit,

660
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 1: you're much more in shape. But like I asked myself, Okay,

661
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,240
Speaker 1: what is it gonna take for me to get rid of,

662
00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:59,479
Speaker 1: like to to really stop this? And so sometimes it's

663
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 1: frustrated because it's just like why, like my god, you

664
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:05,920
Speaker 1: know it gets old, like really, you know, it still

665
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,839
Speaker 1: comes up. So but I think, like you said, being

666
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:12,360
Speaker 1: able to let it go. And I think the mental

667
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:16,239
Speaker 1: power is being aware that the thing is happening, but

668
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:16,880
Speaker 1: then being.

669
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 4: Able to like how long does it last?

670
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:18,879
Speaker 2: Right?

671
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 1: And I think that that's what I'm getting better at,

672
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:23,839
Speaker 1: like accepting that Okay when it comes or when I'm

673
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:26,160
Speaker 1: having these feelings like that's fine, but I'm not going

674
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:29,000
Speaker 1: to let it linger on and on and on, like Okay,

675
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:32,759
Speaker 1: I'm feeling this way, I'm dealing with it, and I'm

676
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 1: moving on and just let it go and just and

677
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 1: let's let's keep going.

678
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 4: So it is a superpower, but I think that it's power.

679
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:42,319
Speaker 1: You know that you have to be able to kind

680
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 1: of like control the length of time that we let

681
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:48,440
Speaker 1: those things like bother us and affect us mentally that

682
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 1: could potentially affect our performance with whatever we're doing. Whether

683
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:56,759
Speaker 1: it's work things physical, you know, tennis, whatever, sport, or

684
00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:59,239
Speaker 1: just being able to mentally be one hundred percent there

685
00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 1: with whatever you're even if it's a corporate thing like this,

686
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:05,760
Speaker 1: This applies to all facets of life.

687
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 3: Right, So after let's bring it back a little bit.

688
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 3: You went through this whole thing situation. I mean I

689
00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:17,400
Speaker 3: would almost call it like on the national stage you

690
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,799
Speaker 3: spoke out about how it ultimately took a toll on

691
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 3: your mental health and you left the association.

692
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:26,200
Speaker 2: M Hm, how was that for you?

693
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:29,160
Speaker 4: Well, it's crazy because I didn't leave like on my own,

694
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:31,920
Speaker 4: Like I was kind of forced to and was then

695
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:34,440
Speaker 4: shoveled into another situation that wasn't great.

696
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:39,640
Speaker 1: But that's a whole like another thing, honestly, I'll be

697
00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:43,800
Speaker 1: real with you, Like, I was really scared because being

698
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 1: down in Florida where I was there for three and

699
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:52,440
Speaker 1: a half years, so much experience, so many things, accomplished,

700
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 1: so many things, like accomplished things that I had never

701
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 1: accomplished before. Then realizing and pulling back and saying, oh,

702
00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 1: like I'm in this place and I have fitness, nutrition, coaching,

703
00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:07,720
Speaker 1: you know, mental like I have physio, you know anything,

704
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 1: body work, recovery, Like I have all of these things

705
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:13,480
Speaker 1: taken care of in this one place, and now I

706
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 1: have to go and like allocate people for each individual

707
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:20,440
Speaker 1: thing that I've had kind of like umbrella over the

708
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:23,440
Speaker 1: last three and a half years and within the transition

709
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 1: of like my pro career. So then I as I

710
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 1: was pro and I was getting those things. So then

711
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 1: now like, Okay, I'm going to have to find these

712
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 1: people fund this stuff to be because I know that

713
00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:37,400
Speaker 1: this is an investment. I need this for me to

714
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:40,560
Speaker 1: be able to perform my best. So that was really difficult,

715
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:42,440
Speaker 1: but I was I was really scared because I just

716
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:44,480
Speaker 1: didn't know where things were going to end up. I

717
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 1: didn't know where things are going to end up. I

718
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:48,600
Speaker 1: didn't know where I was going to end up, if

719
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:50,520
Speaker 1: the situation that I was going in was going to

720
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 1: be better. Like, I just didn't know, because you know,

721
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:59,360
Speaker 1: I was kind of tied, not necessarily tied to the association,

722
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:03,160
Speaker 1: but felt kind of like very grateful and somewhat indebted

723
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 1: because I was afforded opportunities that I wasn't and wouldn't

724
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:09,120
Speaker 1: have been able to have if I was at home

725
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:12,000
Speaker 1: or any you know, like being able to go to

726
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:14,800
Speaker 1: Australia and go to Paris, and even though my ranking

727
00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:17,239
Speaker 1: was there, like if I was home, I wouldn't have

728
00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:18,919
Speaker 1: been able to go to those tournaments, like my parents

729
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:22,239
Speaker 1: couldn't afford that, you know, So just like I think

730
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:25,279
Speaker 1: in a way, yes, indebted, like as a teenager, feeling like,

731
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:29,319
Speaker 1: you know, you kind of owe them something. So it

732
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:32,359
Speaker 1: was scary, but I knew that it was necessary, and like,

733
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:37,319
Speaker 1: you know, I kind of left with the understanding that,

734
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:39,440
Speaker 1: you know, things aren't going to be the same, but

735
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 1: excited about being away and kind of separated from that

736
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:47,399
Speaker 1: and kind of creating my own identity outside of being

737
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,600
Speaker 1: tied to that association and as tied to that story.

738
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,120
Speaker 1: Like I was kind of excited to just kind of

739
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 1: create my own knew like who am I, you know,

740
00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 1: and just being able to shape that and really show

741
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:04,359
Speaker 1: kind of like the quote unquote bounce back like yes,

742
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:07,040
Speaker 1: this happened, but I'm leaving this and I'm moving on

743
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:09,759
Speaker 1: and this is who I am now. So it was

744
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 1: it was scary, but like it was exciting at the

745
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:12,160
Speaker 1: same time.

746
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:15,480
Speaker 2: So refresh us with a dateline on like when all

747
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:16,560
Speaker 2: of this is taking place.

748
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:23,960
Speaker 1: So I left post us open of twenty thirteen. So yeah,

749
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:27,239
Speaker 1: like so probably September time of twenty thirteen was when

750
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 1: I left actually like left us.

751
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:31,320
Speaker 2: Too, Okay, September twenty thirteen.

752
00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 3: And so you're saying that you felt like you had

753
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,360
Speaker 3: this opportunity to bounce back.

754
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,759
Speaker 2: For you was the bounce back what you envisioned the

755
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 2: head shake.

756
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:47,439
Speaker 1: You But honestly, like looking back on you know, where

757
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:50,560
Speaker 1: I was, like so many great things came out of that. Like,

758
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:54,400
Speaker 1: you know, I won my first pro tournament, you know,

759
00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:57,279
Speaker 1: made the third round of the French Open. Like, so

760
00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:59,880
Speaker 1: it's not it wasn't all bad, Like it definitely it

761
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:01,919
Speaker 1: was great. Like it was really good. You know, had

762
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:04,920
Speaker 1: my first break inside the top one hundred. So I'm

763
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:06,359
Speaker 1: not going to say that I'm not going to say that.

764
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:08,960
Speaker 4: It was bad. It was just a lot of drama.

765
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:11,360
Speaker 4: So it was just a lot of drama.

766
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:14,879
Speaker 1: But like in the interim of that, like I met

767
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:19,000
Speaker 1: my best friend, you know, really created some amazing relationships

768
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 1: off court, and so I started to kind of become like,

769
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:26,439
Speaker 1: you know, more of an adult, started to like got

770
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:29,040
Speaker 1: my first credit card, you know, opened up my own

771
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:32,080
Speaker 1: you know, just started to create more independence for myself

772
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:34,040
Speaker 1: and like kind of trying to step into that role

773
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:37,880
Speaker 1: of like being more of an adult and having control

774
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,719
Speaker 1: of my own things. So yeah, like it was, it

775
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 1: was the bounce back was definitely interesting. But I think

776
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:47,680
Speaker 1: that like it proved to me that I didn't need

777
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:50,680
Speaker 1: to be there or be directly tied to the association

778
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 1: to make it like I was good on my own,

779
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 1: you know, and like all the fears that I had

780
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:59,160
Speaker 1: of like losing out or feeling like I wasn't going

781
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,239
Speaker 1: to get the same opportunity like it was Nolan void.

782
00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 1: So I think it showed me that, like, no matter

783
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 1: where I am, like, just let your racket talk and

784
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 1: everything else will take care of itself.

785
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 3: Everything else will take care of itself. So let's fast

786
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 3: forward a little bit. Now, I relatively still new mom.

787
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:20,600
Speaker 3: How long does someone say that, like how long are

788
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:21,440
Speaker 3: you a new mom for?

789
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:24,359
Speaker 1: I have no idea, honestly, because I was just like

790
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:26,960
Speaker 1: people ask me and I'm like, how old is he?

791
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:29,400
Speaker 4: I was like eighteen months and I used to talk

792
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:30,200
Speaker 4: about people so bad.

793
00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:31,400
Speaker 1: So I'm like, why don't you just say a year

794
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:33,759
Speaker 1: and a half and now look at me like I'm

795
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:37,680
Speaker 1: doing the same thing. No, I have no idea I

796
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:39,839
Speaker 1: think it's both new every day because it's just new

797
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:42,960
Speaker 1: shit that comes up every single day. So it's just

798
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:44,919
Speaker 1: like literally it's a new day every day.

799
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:45,799
Speaker 2: All right.

800
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 3: Well, you had your son Aiden in April twenty twenty one,

801
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:53,120
Speaker 3: and you are now back on the scene.

802
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:56,720
Speaker 2: Before we talk about this whole different.

803
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:59,480
Speaker 3: Kind of comeback, so to speak, talk to me a

804
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,919
Speaker 3: little bit about what it was like for you when

805
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:04,240
Speaker 3: you found out you're pregnant.

806
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:06,439
Speaker 2: You said that you played what was it at three

807
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 2: weeks or three months?

808
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:11,840
Speaker 1: Well, I was playing the whole time because I was

809
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:14,799
Speaker 1: Actually I found out I was pregnant when I was

810
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:17,279
Speaker 1: in the middle of my WORL Teme tennis season in

811
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:20,520
Speaker 1: twenty twenty. So we were playing and I was just like,

812
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:24,439
Speaker 1: oh my god, I feel terrible, like something not right.

813
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:30,359
Speaker 1: So I was just like, oh, I told my friend.

814
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:32,120
Speaker 1: I was like, can you bring me up pregnancy test

815
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:33,840
Speaker 1: for me just to make sure that like I'm just

816
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:35,879
Speaker 1: gonna rule it out, Like I was like, there's no way.

817
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 1: And so, yeah, I was in the middle of playing

818
00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:41,240
Speaker 1: Worlding Tennis I found I was pregnant.

819
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:44,520
Speaker 4: Literally like just started valling crying, like oh my god,

820
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:45,879
Speaker 4: like this is my biggest fear.

821
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:48,120
Speaker 5: Ever, really, I don't know what I'm like too, Like

822
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:51,439
Speaker 5: I was just so I was just so terrified, and

823
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:57,600
Speaker 5: then I had again had to reflect and say, okay,

824
00:41:58,360 --> 00:41:59,359
Speaker 5: why is this bad?

825
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:04,040
Speaker 1: And then I was like, well, my tennis, my tennis,

826
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:10,000
Speaker 1: my tennis, and so everything kept pointing towards tennis, tennis, tennis.

827
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:12,279
Speaker 1: But then when I looked and I pulled back, I

828
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:14,799
Speaker 1: was like, well, what else, Like what about you that

829
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:17,840
Speaker 1: won't affect me like negatively, like as a person, it

830
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:20,920
Speaker 1: would actually make me grow. Well will it affect me,

831
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 1: you know financially? Hell yeah, what are you going to do?

832
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 4: You know?

833
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:27,879
Speaker 1: Like so it was, you know, having to have those

834
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 1: like very real conversations with myself and with my partner,

835
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:31,560
Speaker 1: and I was just.

836
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 4: Like this is like, this is real.

837
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:39,719
Speaker 1: So first it was like devastation, my world's ending, and

838
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:43,400
Speaker 1: then it was acceptance, Okay, this is happening, and then

839
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 1: I became excited because I was just like, honestly, truly

840
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:50,840
Speaker 1: in that moment when I was like all right, I'm

841
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:53,680
Speaker 1: it is what it is, I'm going with this, I

842
00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 1: felt so light, Like I just felt like all of

843
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:02,440
Speaker 1: the pressure that I put on myself to perform and compete,

844
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:05,880
Speaker 1: not compete, because I'm always a competitor, Like I'm always

845
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:08,120
Speaker 1: going to be like foaming at the mouth for competition.

846
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:11,359
Speaker 1: Like even when I was out an age, I'm breastfeeding

847
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:15,440
Speaker 1: aj like at three am and I'm watching tennis. I

848
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:18,480
Speaker 1: was like salivating to want to like I wanted to

849
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:21,799
Speaker 1: play so bad, like I'm just I'm a natural competitor.

850
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:28,960
Speaker 1: But it allowed me to let myself just be and

851
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:32,200
Speaker 1: I just felt so free and I was just like, oh,

852
00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:34,520
Speaker 1: this is amazing, Like why can't I be like this

853
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:39,680
Speaker 1: all the time, Like it was just so freeing because

854
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:44,520
Speaker 1: I just stopped putting those handcuffs on myself and I

855
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:48,080
Speaker 1: just allowed myself to just be, to just play, and

856
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 1: I truly accepted, like whatever happens happens because I know

857
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 1: that I'm at I'm not going to say a disadvantage,

858
00:43:55,640 --> 00:44:00,560
Speaker 1: but like I'm severely have a handicap in compare into

859
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:03,759
Speaker 1: like my competition. So I was just like truly like

860
00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:08,080
Speaker 1: having a good time out on the court. And like

861
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 1: I remember because the twenty twenty US Open, I went there,

862
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:15,120
Speaker 1: I was nine weeks pregnant.

863
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:15,920
Speaker 4: I left and I was.

864
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:20,040
Speaker 1: Twelve and because it was a three week because Cincinnati

865
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:23,239
Speaker 1: the Western Southern Open they had at the US Open

866
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:25,680
Speaker 1: site that year because they wanted to keep everyone in

867
00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:29,360
Speaker 1: the bubble. So played that and then played US Open

868
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:31,760
Speaker 1: singles and doubles and we made it to the Semis

869
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:34,480
Speaker 1: that year, and I remember like telling Asia, like I

870
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:39,320
Speaker 1: brought her to my room and I was like, dude, pregnant.

871
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:40,920
Speaker 1: She was like we both were.

872
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:42,760
Speaker 4: Like starting crying, and she was like, are you serious?

873
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:44,520
Speaker 4: And I was like I know. She was like I

874
00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:46,000
Speaker 4: was like I was struggling. I didn't know if I

875
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,319
Speaker 4: should tell you guys, like I owed it to you

876
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 4: to tell you, because like.

877
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be like I'm gonna eat help, you know,

878
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:56,920
Speaker 1: like I get tired, you know, like things just happened

879
00:44:56,960 --> 00:44:59,399
Speaker 1: that you don't even know, Like you every day it's

880
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:03,000
Speaker 1: a different day, literally, so you know. And it was

881
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 1: just so amazing. So when we were playing together, we

882
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:09,080
Speaker 1: just had such like this clear understanding and like just

883
00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:11,799
Speaker 1: it was so fun. It just felt I think the

884
00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:13,680
Speaker 1: word that he was just like fluid, like I was

885
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 1: just just playing. So it was amazing and I just

886
00:45:17,719 --> 00:45:21,120
Speaker 1: felt like so proud of myself and I literally said

887
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:26,359
Speaker 1: I was like I'm good with leaving like this, like

888
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:31,480
Speaker 1: I'm good with stepping away here, you know, yeah, Like

889
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:34,800
Speaker 1: and I was just so at peace. I was so content,

890
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:37,680
Speaker 1: like did what I had to do. Left and I

891
00:45:37,719 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 1: was like I'll be back. I'm not leaving for good,

892
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:41,840
Speaker 1: but like I'll be back. But like I was just

893
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 1: so at peace with like the place and the space

894
00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 1: that I was like stepping away from the game.

895
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 3: Did you know for certain when you went to have

896
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:56,480
Speaker 3: your baby that you would definitely come back to tennis.

897
00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:00,480
Speaker 1: I mean I had it on paper, and I had

898
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:04,200
Speaker 1: it in my notebooks and I had conversations about it,

899
00:46:04,239 --> 00:46:06,880
Speaker 1: but I mean there's no guarantee.

900
00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:09,080
Speaker 4: And like I mean I had a whole.

901
00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:17,640
Speaker 1: Natural, holistic water birth birth plan that I had, like

902
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:20,480
Speaker 1: it was going to be so amazing and like mother

903
00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:25,359
Speaker 1: earth ish and like I had a great pregnancy, like

904
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:29,759
Speaker 1: no issues, no complications. I was playing literally the day

905
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 1: two days before I had AJ, Like I was out

906
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:35,760
Speaker 1: on the court playing points with my sister, like playing

907
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:40,040
Speaker 1: and so all of a sudden, then I just had

908
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:42,200
Speaker 1: like this bleeding and I went and then they're like, no,

909
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:43,960
Speaker 1: you have to have a c section, And like that

910
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:46,360
Speaker 1: was like a total shock for me because that was

911
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:49,800
Speaker 1: like worst case scenario for me. I've never think, thank goodness,

912
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:52,120
Speaker 1: like I've never had any surgeries. I've never had any

913
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:54,360
Speaker 1: major injuries like take me away from the game for

914
00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 1: a long time. So it was really scary because I'm like,

915
00:46:56,560 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 1: that's major surgery. Like I didn't know how I was

916
00:46:59,680 --> 00:47:02,400
Speaker 1: going to recover. I didn't know how long it was

917
00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:06,279
Speaker 1: gonna take for me to even be able to not

918
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:08,560
Speaker 1: like just get back to normal, to be able to

919
00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 1: do like normal things. And I think that was like

920
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:14,080
Speaker 1: the scariest part because it just kind of threw a

921
00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:16,960
Speaker 1: monkey wrench and like what we were doing, what I

922
00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:19,600
Speaker 1: had planned. But I think it was a blessing in

923
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:23,120
Speaker 1: disguise because it forced me to have to relax and

924
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:27,719
Speaker 1: like sit down and like really enjoy and bask and

925
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:30,239
Speaker 1: like the new like being a new mother, because like

926
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:33,520
Speaker 1: I literally physically like couldn't do things for myself, like

927
00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:36,160
Speaker 1: I needed help with everything. So like I was literally

928
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:39,040
Speaker 1: tied to like the little rocking chair, like if I

929
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:40,880
Speaker 1: needed to go to the bathroom, I needed help, and

930
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:43,160
Speaker 1: so it was it was hard for me mentally, but

931
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:45,640
Speaker 1: I think it was a blessing in disguise because it

932
00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:49,480
Speaker 1: made me appreciate. Like I was like, literally I was

933
00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:54,560
Speaker 1: running on Sunday, I was like just remembering. I'm like, dude,

934
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:57,400
Speaker 1: you couldn't even walk a year and a half ago. Yeah,

935
00:47:57,440 --> 00:47:59,719
Speaker 1: like you couldn't even go up the steps, or like

936
00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 1: I couldn't even walk to like the end of the

937
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:04,640
Speaker 1: block in my neighborhood. Like so it just kind of

938
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:06,920
Speaker 1: made me like cause I started judging myself a little bit,

939
00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:10,319
Speaker 1: and then it like that thought made me stop because

940
00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:14,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, you couldn't do this a year ago, You're good.

941
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:16,160
Speaker 2: It's that perspective.

942
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:19,280
Speaker 3: It's taking the moment to be grateful for the journey

943
00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:22,239
Speaker 3: and where you've come from and all that you're capable of,

944
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 3: and just because like tomorrow what I do may not.

945
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:30,160
Speaker 2: Be quote unquote as good as something I did.

946
00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:32,880
Speaker 3: Two weeks ago, a year ago, two years ago. The

947
00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:36,960
Speaker 3: bigger question is how does doing that thing make you feel?

948
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 3: How does doing that thing make you feel? And move

949
00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:42,840
Speaker 3: from there or do what feels good?

950
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:45,439
Speaker 1: Yes, And I think a lot of people don't even

951
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:47,799
Speaker 1: know what feels good to them, Like what do you

952
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:48,520
Speaker 1: really want?

953
00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:50,600
Speaker 2: What do you really want? What do you really want?

954
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:54,839
Speaker 3: So you are forced to be a little bit down

955
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:58,759
Speaker 3: and out after having your C section major surgery. As

956
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:03,520
Speaker 3: you articulated, what's it like as you get back into

957
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:03,959
Speaker 3: the game.

958
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:06,200
Speaker 2: I'm sure it had its fair share of challenges.

959
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:07,280
Speaker 4: Oh for sure.

960
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 1: A lot of tears, It's a lot of h the

961
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:15,879
Speaker 1: baby I was like, damn, my feet hurt, Like.

962
00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:18,799
Speaker 4: I'm mom heavy, Like I'm not used to moving all

963
00:49:18,840 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 4: this weight around.

964
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:23,480
Speaker 1: But it was like it was very like it was

965
00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:27,640
Speaker 1: very different because my journey was kind of broken up

966
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:28,560
Speaker 1: into two parts.

967
00:49:28,680 --> 00:49:30,040
Speaker 4: The first part was like.

968
00:49:31,440 --> 00:49:35,839
Speaker 1: Getting back into shape and navigated getting back on court,

969
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 1: but I'm still breastfeeding. And then the second part was

970
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 1: like while still trying to lose weight, drop weight, all

971
00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:46,320
Speaker 1: that stuff. And then the second part was like after

972
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:49,760
Speaker 1: I was stopped breastfeeding, then what was happening with my body?

973
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:53,600
Speaker 1: What changed the mental and the psychological changes that I

974
00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:56,799
Speaker 1: was kind of going through of like the acceptance of

975
00:49:56,960 --> 00:49:59,319
Speaker 1: feeling as though I was kind of losing an attachment

976
00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:01,759
Speaker 1: to my son. Like so it's a lot of like

977
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 1: mental and emotional kind of like highs and lows. But

978
00:50:06,239 --> 00:50:11,040
Speaker 1: it was it was very challenging, like because I think

979
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 1: I messed myself up because I had expectations and I

980
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:20,000
Speaker 1: think like things would go really well and then i'd

981
00:50:20,080 --> 00:50:22,000
Speaker 1: kind of hit a wall. And like when I would

982
00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:24,240
Speaker 1: hit those walls, I would struggle a little bit because

983
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:28,160
Speaker 1: I was just like I'm getting I'm getting off track,

984
00:50:28,239 --> 00:50:30,279
Speaker 1: you know, like you know, I got it. I have

985
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:32,320
Speaker 1: to keep on this path, like I have to keep

986
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:36,440
Speaker 1: But it was a perspective whereas like as long as

987
00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:38,239
Speaker 1: one foot's going in front of the other and you're

988
00:50:38,239 --> 00:50:41,080
Speaker 1: taking it day by day, like it's progress, whether it's

989
00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:45,920
Speaker 1: elite or whether it's a very very tiny, tiny step,

990
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:49,200
Speaker 1: it's still going in the direction that you wanted to go.

991
00:50:49,239 --> 00:50:52,000
Speaker 1: And that's was a very hard lesson for me to

992
00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:55,479
Speaker 1: like learn and accept, and I still struggle with it now. Yeah,

993
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:59,920
Speaker 1: most recently twenty twenty two US Open, like my expectation

994
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:03,560
Speaker 1: for myself how I wanted to perform in my singles

995
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:07,239
Speaker 1: versus how I actually performed. I was very disappointed in

996
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:11,400
Speaker 1: like how things went, and you know, I had to

997
00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:14,720
Speaker 1: kind of accept that, like, Okay, this wasn't what I wanted,

998
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:17,160
Speaker 1: but like I'm still in the tournament, and I just

999
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:19,960
Speaker 1: tried to go out and just do the best that

1000
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:22,480
Speaker 1: I can and continue to get better, like both in

1001
00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 1: practice and in each match that I played, like in doubles,

1002
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:29,080
Speaker 1: and look what happened. So, like you said, just keeping

1003
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:34,040
Speaker 1: the perspective of like, you're good, you know, like it's fine,

1004
00:51:34,120 --> 00:51:36,840
Speaker 1: even though it's not what you wanted in that particular moment.

1005
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:38,640
Speaker 1: It might not have been your time, it might not

1006
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:41,200
Speaker 1: have been what was meant for you in that particular

1007
00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:43,839
Speaker 1: moment in time. But that's not to say that it's

1008
00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:47,040
Speaker 1: not going to happen, you know, Like I've never been

1009
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:50,360
Speaker 1: able to call myself a Grand Slam finalist in the

1010
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:55,160
Speaker 1: ten years that I've played on tour and the year

1011
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:58,480
Speaker 1: that I come back after having my son, and you know,

1012
00:51:58,640 --> 00:52:00,799
Speaker 1: all the things I've gone through, Like now I can

1013
00:52:00,920 --> 00:52:02,640
Speaker 1: say and I have a title to my name that

1014
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 1: I didn't have in any of the year's prior.

1015
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:08,040
Speaker 4: So like, you know, again, you're good. You're moving in

1016
00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:08,760
Speaker 4: the right direction.

1017
00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:11,640
Speaker 2: You're moving in the right direction. I love that.

1018
00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 3: I love that you made a reference to the cat

1019
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:18,760
Speaker 3: suit that you wore for that final earlier in our convo.

1020
00:52:18,840 --> 00:52:20,759
Speaker 3: Do you want to just describe it for anyone who

1021
00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:22,080
Speaker 3: missed the visual.

1022
00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:27,000
Speaker 4: Oh, it was a moment, no ad, it was a

1023
00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:28,680
Speaker 4: moment I had.

1024
00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:31,520
Speaker 1: I had three I had blue, had orange on black,

1025
00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:34,160
Speaker 1: so I was kind of rotating them between matches, but

1026
00:52:34,280 --> 00:52:36,680
Speaker 1: like blue is my favorite color, and I was just like, yeah,

1027
00:52:36,719 --> 00:52:37,439
Speaker 1: this is the one.

1028
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:37,920
Speaker 4: But yeah.

1029
00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:40,480
Speaker 1: It was literally just like a one piece like body

1030
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:44,160
Speaker 1: suit that I felt like was kind of a statement

1031
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:46,080
Speaker 1: and again like a tribute to Serena.

1032
00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:48,320
Speaker 4: Like I told her like, hey, I'm wearing catsuits.

1033
00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:51,320
Speaker 1: I remember so vividly, like when she wore the Puma

1034
00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:53,799
Speaker 1: cat suit at the US Open and I was just

1035
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:55,719
Speaker 1: like I saw it on mine. I was like, oh,

1036
00:52:55,800 --> 00:52:58,960
Speaker 1: I'm definitely getting this, so and she was like do it.

1037
00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:01,440
Speaker 1: Wear it? And I was like I'm nervous though, and

1038
00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:03,200
Speaker 1: she was like, no, do it. She was like I'm

1039
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:06,319
Speaker 1: nervous every time that I put on like stuff, and

1040
00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:10,360
Speaker 1: like whether it's like something like you know, regular, or

1041
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:12,080
Speaker 1: like I'm making a big statement. She was like, I'm

1042
00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:16,359
Speaker 1: nervous about my outfit this year. And I was like why,

1043
00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:19,960
Speaker 1: Like you're Serena. William was like why would you be nervous?

1044
00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:23,239
Speaker 1: And I didn't know what she was wearing because she

1045
00:53:23,239 --> 00:53:25,719
Speaker 1: hadn't played yet, but she was like, no, do it.

1046
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:26,160
Speaker 4: Do it.

1047
00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:29,440
Speaker 1: So I was super empowered, but yeah, it was it

1048
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 1: was just an absolute moment, and you know, I think

1049
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:35,080
Speaker 1: that I'm trying to decide if I'm gonna stick with

1050
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:37,160
Speaker 1: it honestly because I kind of was, I'm feeling it,

1051
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:37,400
Speaker 1: you know.

1052
00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:39,239
Speaker 2: Was it freeing for you?

1053
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:41,480
Speaker 4: Absolutely?

1054
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:43,920
Speaker 1: Because I was super self conscious, Like I was super

1055
00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:46,680
Speaker 1: like I was super nervous to wear it because I

1056
00:53:46,719 --> 00:53:50,440
Speaker 1: was just like, this is just showing everything, you know, Like,

1057
00:53:50,840 --> 00:53:53,080
Speaker 1: and I've always used clothes as a way to hide

1058
00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:55,600
Speaker 1: like how I was feeling, whether it was like wearing

1059
00:53:55,640 --> 00:53:58,480
Speaker 1: baggy stuff or whatever, or even if I'm confident, like

1060
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:01,239
Speaker 1: you know, would wear things more tighter, But clothes were

1061
00:54:01,239 --> 00:54:04,440
Speaker 1: always something that I would use, like not as a statement,

1062
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:07,360
Speaker 1: but as kind of like a blanket, you know. So

1063
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:10,319
Speaker 1: it was like I was kind of like a I'm

1064
00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:13,160
Speaker 1: letting it all hang out with this. You can't hide

1065
00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 1: damping literally everything shows. So yeah, but it was freeing,

1066
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:21,560
Speaker 1: Like I felt great. Like I remember like the first day,

1067
00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:24,000
Speaker 1: like when I was going to warm up and like

1068
00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:25,920
Speaker 1: I took off my jacket and I was just like

1069
00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:28,520
Speaker 1: here we go. And I remember like when I walked

1070
00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:33,040
Speaker 1: out on the court started warming up, like I was like, yeah,

1071
00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:35,759
Speaker 1: like it felt great. Actually, like when I actually because

1072
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:37,960
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm committed to it now, and I didn't.

1073
00:54:38,040 --> 00:54:42,080
Speaker 1: And I I purposely didn't pack any other clothes because

1074
00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:45,200
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not gonna like chicken out and

1075
00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:49,719
Speaker 1: like let that old tailor come out of like no,

1076
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:51,000
Speaker 1: you have to hide, like noah.

1077
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:55,160
Speaker 4: So I literally packed no other match clothes. So this

1078
00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:55,920
Speaker 4: is all you got.

1079
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:58,400
Speaker 1: So you're committed and you just gotta roll with it

1080
00:54:58,440 --> 00:55:01,880
Speaker 1: and whatever they say, they say whatever people have, Like

1081
00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:04,120
Speaker 1: some people, a lot of people have things like not

1082
00:55:04,239 --> 00:55:05,960
Speaker 1: great to say. But I was like, I know I

1083
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:08,360
Speaker 1: look good, So you guys say whatever you want.

1084
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:10,720
Speaker 2: To see you later, see yeah later.

1085
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:14,080
Speaker 3: How does it feel to you now knowing that, yes,

1086
00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:17,240
Speaker 3: some people had some sort of an opinion, but really

1087
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:22,440
Speaker 3: you were a source of inspiration, something to be seen

1088
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:26,359
Speaker 3: for so many other people that may feel some kind

1089
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:28,640
Speaker 3: of way about their body. They looked at you and

1090
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:31,200
Speaker 3: they thought, if she can do this, if she can

1091
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:32,240
Speaker 3: put herself.

1092
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:34,479
Speaker 2: Out there like this, then I can too.

1093
00:55:35,120 --> 00:55:36,200
Speaker 4: That's what I'm just trying to do.

1094
00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:40,520
Speaker 1: I'm just like, at this point, I feel like my

1095
00:55:41,320 --> 00:55:45,600
Speaker 1: one of my paths is to inspire people to know that, like,

1096
00:55:45,680 --> 00:55:49,040
Speaker 1: you don't have to lose yourself because you had a kid,

1097
00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:54,360
Speaker 1: or because you've even faced like tough situations, you can evolve,

1098
00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:56,799
Speaker 1: you can grow, you can you can become.

1099
00:55:56,480 --> 00:55:58,040
Speaker 4: A better version of yourself.

1100
00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:00,319
Speaker 1: I just am trying to embody that the best way

1101
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:03,279
Speaker 1: that I can, and like show people that things aren't

1102
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:07,440
Speaker 1: always glamorous, things aren't always great, things aren't always pretty,

1103
00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:10,239
Speaker 1: But that doesn't mean that you can't grow or that

1104
00:56:10,360 --> 00:56:12,920
Speaker 1: you have to give up a part of yourself. Because

1105
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:16,960
Speaker 1: motherhood you're forced to be very selfless.

1106
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:17,600
Speaker 4: And give, give gives.

1107
00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:21,960
Speaker 1: So it was so difficult for me to like create

1108
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:25,399
Speaker 1: that separation to be able to say, no, I need

1109
00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:28,000
Speaker 1: to do this for me, Like I need to do

1110
00:56:28,040 --> 00:56:30,040
Speaker 1: this for me because I know that I'm going to

1111
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:31,160
Speaker 1: get better.

1112
00:56:31,560 --> 00:56:33,040
Speaker 4: And this is going to help me.

1113
00:56:33,239 --> 00:56:36,040
Speaker 1: So it's like like I had to really shift my

1114
00:56:36,160 --> 00:56:39,279
Speaker 1: mind into thinking about aiden to like thinking about what

1115
00:56:39,400 --> 00:56:40,959
Speaker 1: does what does Taylor need?

1116
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:43,200
Speaker 4: What do I need? What do I want? So yeah,

1117
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:44,600
Speaker 4: I'm just trying to inspire people.

1118
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:46,799
Speaker 1: And I was like, I want to show people like

1119
00:56:46,880 --> 00:56:49,680
Speaker 1: you can look fire after you have a kid, even

1120
00:56:49,719 --> 00:56:52,839
Speaker 1: though I got some rolls and some dimples and some

1121
00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:57,360
Speaker 1: divots and stretch marks and whatever, but that's not stopping anything.

1122
00:56:57,520 --> 00:57:00,120
Speaker 1: And like That's what I was nervous about. But it

1123
00:57:00,160 --> 00:57:03,839
Speaker 1: was just like I wanted people to know, like this

1124
00:57:03,880 --> 00:57:06,480
Speaker 1: while poot right here, like it is what it is,

1125
00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:09,120
Speaker 1: and but that's not going to stop me from wearing

1126
00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:11,040
Speaker 1: this catsuit. And y'all can be mad about it if

1127
00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:13,719
Speaker 1: you want, but you're gonna have to see here. You

1128
00:57:13,719 --> 00:57:15,320
Speaker 1: could be mad while you sit here and watch me

1129
00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:17,000
Speaker 1: play on ash How about that?

1130
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:21,600
Speaker 2: Well? How about that? How about that? Well?

1131
00:57:21,760 --> 00:57:25,040
Speaker 3: Right now, someone goes to your social media, they see

1132
00:57:25,280 --> 00:57:29,480
Speaker 3: a pro tennis player, Aiden's mom over thirty seven thousand followers.

1133
00:57:29,520 --> 00:57:31,240
Speaker 3: When you look in the mirror, what is it that

1134
00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:32,880
Speaker 3: you see looking back at you?

1135
00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:39,160
Speaker 4: Oh, I don't know, I just I see.

1136
00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:42,240
Speaker 1: I think if I could say one thing I said,

1137
00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:45,360
Speaker 1: I could say that I see the person that I want,

1138
00:57:45,840 --> 00:57:49,280
Speaker 1: that I've always wanted to be. I see the person

1139
00:57:49,400 --> 00:57:55,640
Speaker 1: developing that a person that is developing and that has

1140
00:57:55,720 --> 00:58:00,360
Speaker 1: developed that the younger me wanted to be but didn't

1141
00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:05,160
Speaker 1: know how to attain, didn't know what needed to happen

1142
00:58:05,200 --> 00:58:07,920
Speaker 1: in order for me to get to that place. But

1143
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,480
Speaker 1: I could say that, like when I look in the mirror,

1144
00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:12,440
Speaker 1: like I'm proud of who I am.

1145
00:58:12,200 --> 00:58:13,520
Speaker 4: I'm proud of the.

1146
00:58:13,560 --> 00:58:17,080
Speaker 1: Things that I've endured and the fact that I'm here

1147
00:58:17,120 --> 00:58:20,120
Speaker 1: is still standing and being able to have these types

1148
00:58:20,120 --> 00:58:24,560
Speaker 1: of conversations with you where I'm able to share my

1149
00:58:24,640 --> 00:58:26,360
Speaker 1: story and empower people.

1150
00:58:26,120 --> 00:58:28,760
Speaker 4: And just be a voice and to show that like.

1151
00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:34,080
Speaker 1: It like your adversity isn't finite, Like it doesn't it

1152
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:36,560
Speaker 1: doesn't define who you are. You can go outside of

1153
00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:40,120
Speaker 1: those lines and be able to create your own, your

1154
00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:43,160
Speaker 1: own path, like your own lane, whatever that is, whether

1155
00:58:43,200 --> 00:58:45,400
Speaker 1: it's straight up and down or whether it's got curves,

1156
00:58:45,960 --> 00:58:48,200
Speaker 1: like it is what it is, that's your lane, and

1157
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:50,760
Speaker 1: like you can choose, you can create that, you can

1158
00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:54,000
Speaker 1: identify it, you can label it. But like you're in

1159
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:57,000
Speaker 1: control of those things. And like I'm just trying to

1160
00:58:57,040 --> 00:59:00,000
Speaker 1: embody that. And I would just say, like I would,

1161
00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:02,400
Speaker 1: I'm looking at the person that I've always wanted to

1162
00:59:02,440 --> 00:59:07,320
Speaker 1: be but didn't know how to become, and now I'm

1163
00:59:07,560 --> 00:59:12,960
Speaker 1: embodying and stepping into fully that person in all of

1164
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:17,240
Speaker 1: the ways, like becoming a well rounded individual. Where this

1165
00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:21,680
Speaker 1: is authentically and truly who I am, not who I

1166
00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:23,920
Speaker 1: want to be or who I'm trying to be. And

1167
00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:27,360
Speaker 1: then you're acting as that. No, this is like really

1168
00:59:27,400 --> 00:59:29,640
Speaker 1: who I am, and I'm really proud of that.

1169
00:59:30,440 --> 00:59:31,840
Speaker 2: You should be really proud of that.

1170
00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:36,240
Speaker 3: Right now, you have an opportunity to offer yourself a

1171
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:41,120
Speaker 3: piece of advice looking back on that truly difficult Hurtle

1172
00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:44,560
Speaker 3: moment when you had to step away from USTA, when

1173
00:59:44,600 --> 00:59:47,960
Speaker 3: you were in the thick of feeling as though your

1174
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:51,520
Speaker 3: body was just everybody's problem. You have an opportunity to

1175
00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:54,240
Speaker 3: offer yourself a piece of advice. Knowing what you know.

1176
00:59:54,680 --> 00:59:57,360
Speaker 2: Now, what do you tell yourself.

1177
00:59:59,120 --> 01:00:03,200
Speaker 1: I'm gonna actually I'm going to steal a little bit

1178
01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:06,280
Speaker 1: of what Lizo said said. I wish that I had

1179
01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:09,680
Speaker 1: a person to look up to that that I had,

1180
01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:12,240
Speaker 1: that had these struggles, that had these issues, that went

1181
01:00:12,280 --> 01:00:15,720
Speaker 1: through this. But I would tell myself that it's gonna

1182
01:00:15,720 --> 01:00:17,960
Speaker 1: have to be you. You're gonna have to struggle, you're

1183
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:20,160
Speaker 1: gonna have to go through these things, but you're gonna

1184
01:00:20,160 --> 01:00:23,360
Speaker 1: be that person that people are looking at to inspire

1185
01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:27,600
Speaker 1: them and wear that cap proudly because this is a

1186
01:00:27,640 --> 01:00:31,000
Speaker 1: superpower that you have. And you know, a thing that

1187
01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:33,240
Speaker 1: you felt like was a curse has turned out to

1188
01:00:33,280 --> 01:00:36,600
Speaker 1: be like an ultimate blessing, not only for me but

1189
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:39,640
Speaker 1: for other people as well. To inspire them and to

1190
01:00:39,680 --> 01:00:43,040
Speaker 1: show that it's possible. So again that representation. But I

1191
01:00:43,080 --> 01:00:46,680
Speaker 1: would say, girl, it just has to be you, just.

1192
01:00:46,680 --> 01:00:47,439
Speaker 2: Has to be you.

1193
01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:47,720
Speaker 1: Yo.

1194
01:00:47,920 --> 01:00:49,480
Speaker 2: I am lit right now.

1195
01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:51,880
Speaker 3: I'm like, well, I made it, ready to take on

1196
01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:54,720
Speaker 3: the world, ready to go, like talk to myself in

1197
01:00:54,760 --> 01:00:57,919
Speaker 3: the mirror. I'm so so happy that we were able

1198
01:00:57,960 --> 01:01:01,040
Speaker 3: to make this happen, truly like a late Taylor. How

1199
01:01:01,080 --> 01:01:03,120
Speaker 3: do the hurdlers follow along with you? How do they

1200
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:05,200
Speaker 3: keep up with you if they don't know of you

1201
01:01:05,680 --> 01:01:08,160
Speaker 3: until now? Tell us the details?

1202
01:01:08,480 --> 01:01:11,600
Speaker 1: Yes, well, you can follow me on Instagram at Tay

1203
01:01:11,760 --> 01:01:16,800
Speaker 1: Underscore t Townsend. You know, that's where it's at. Unfortunately,

1204
01:01:16,880 --> 01:01:20,160
Speaker 1: my TikTok is private. Everyone complains about that, so I

1205
01:01:20,240 --> 01:01:24,000
Speaker 1: might make it public. You guys will know and Taylor

1206
01:01:24,080 --> 01:01:27,400
Speaker 1: town at Taylor Townsend on Twitter and yeah, you know,

1207
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:30,800
Speaker 1: thank you guys for listening, and thank you Emily for

1208
01:01:30,840 --> 01:01:31,960
Speaker 1: this amazing conversation.

1209
01:01:32,000 --> 01:01:32,959
Speaker 4: I've had so much fun.

1210
01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:34,680
Speaker 2: I had so much fun too.

1211
01:01:34,760 --> 01:01:37,320
Speaker 3: I'm over at Emily a Body and at Hurdle Podcast

1212
01:01:37,520 --> 01:01:39,240
Speaker 3: Another Hurdle Conquered.

1213
01:01:39,520 --> 01:01:40,600
Speaker 2: Catch you guys next time.