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Speaker 1: This is Kelly Henderson and you're listening to the Velvet

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Speaker 1: Edge podcast. This week, I had an interview scheduled with

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Speaker 1: Morgan day Cecil, who is an amazing coach on sexuality

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Speaker 1: and spirituality. I've been looking forward to this interview for

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Speaker 1: weeks and unfortunately just had to postpone it. As I've

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Speaker 1: been telling you guys, I am currently in the process

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Speaker 1: of freezing my eggs and because my last round was unsuccessful,

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Speaker 1: they have upped the amount of priming hormones. I am

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Speaker 1: one before I even start my shots. These hormones are

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Speaker 1: kicking my ass. Some days it's physically, some days it's

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Speaker 1: emotionally and mentally. In this week it has been all three.

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Speaker 1: I'm currently on three different kinds. And if you're a girl,

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Speaker 1: just imagine your worst PMS symptoms of early pregnancy, pregnancy,

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Speaker 1: brain fog, and emotional roller coasters all combined into one.

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Speaker 1: It's quite the ride. Um. I've been beating myself up

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Speaker 1: because I feel like I am failing at my life,

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Speaker 1: currently failing at my relationships, my job, just all of it. However,

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Speaker 1: it is becoming very clear to me that my body

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Speaker 1: needs attention, and it's truly unfair. To expect my body

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Speaker 1: or my mind to operate at the normal capacity that

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Speaker 1: I usually function. I feel like I'm letting you guys down,

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Speaker 1: and all morning before I decided to postpone this interview,

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Speaker 1: I had all of these fears that not going through

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Speaker 1: with it would be the end of me, the end

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Speaker 1: of Velvet Edge podcast, or anything that I worked for

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Speaker 1: and care about. And then I remember that is just

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Speaker 1: not how this universe works, and me not being true

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Speaker 1: to myself is actually the worst thing I could do

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Speaker 1: for this podcast, because that is what we have built

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Speaker 1: this community around, sharing the truth, diving deep spiritually, self love,

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Speaker 1: and self growth. So instead of exacerbating my meltdown, I

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Speaker 1: decided to post one of my all time favorite podcasts,

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Speaker 1: but the founder of one of my all time favorite companies,

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Speaker 1: Fred and Far. This entire company is built on a

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Speaker 1: pinky ring. That is a promise to yourself to always

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Speaker 1: give yourself the love you need, not to seek it

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Speaker 1: externally through actions or even other bull but to take

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Speaker 1: care of you like you are worthy and deserving of

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Speaker 1: all the love and all the kindness and all of

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Speaker 1: the gentleness this world has to offer. That is what

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Speaker 1: I'm doing for me today. And I hope that you

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Speaker 1: guys will too. I love you all and thank you

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Speaker 1: so much for your continued support and understanding. Here's my

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Speaker 1: conversation with Melody Godfred of Fred and Far. What's up

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Speaker 1: you guys are listening to a Velvet Edge podcast. I

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Speaker 1: am here with Melody Godfred, who is the founder of

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Speaker 1: Fred and Far. Hi Melody, Hi Kelly, thank you so

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Speaker 1: much for coming on today. I'm so excited to have you.

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Speaker 1: I'm so excited to chat with you. It's great to

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Speaker 1: be here. I've actually been following you for over a

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Speaker 1: year now, which um, I've found you on Instagram because

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Speaker 1: you started this company that just promotes self love and

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Speaker 1: it's kind of all based around the self love movement.

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Speaker 1: Can you tell um the listeners a little bit about

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Speaker 1: Fred and Far? Sure? So. Fred and Far as a

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Speaker 1: self love movement that's powered by the self love Pinky Ring.

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Speaker 1: And the story behind the ring is in two thousand

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Speaker 1: and fifteen, I had reached every milestone that I had

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Speaker 1: set out to accomplish. And you know my early life.

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Speaker 1: I went to school, I became a lawyer, I had twins,

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Speaker 1: which was amazing. I got married, I had a home

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Speaker 1: and even though reaching every goal I had set, I

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Speaker 1: wasn't happy, and that was very jarring for me because

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Speaker 1: I had always thought, if I do everything I'm supposed

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Speaker 1: to do, the pot of gold at the end of

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Speaker 1: the rainbows happiness. And what I realized is that in

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Speaker 1: pursuit of all of those goals, I ended up losing

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Speaker 1: sight of who I am, my authentic self. I stopped

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Speaker 1: taking care of myself because I was constantly in service

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Speaker 1: to others, whether they were clients or my kids or friends,

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Speaker 1: and I felt very lost. So I needed a daily

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Speaker 1: reminder to practice self love and self air, and jewelry

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Speaker 1: was something that I always used to commemorate milestones. So

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Speaker 1: I thought, what if I created a ring with the

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Speaker 1: singular intention of being a reminder of my commitment to myself,

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Speaker 1: and I'll wear it on a ring on a finger

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Speaker 1: I've never worn a ring on before, and every day

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Speaker 1: it would be my way of making sure that I

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Speaker 1: was as important in my own life as everyone and

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Speaker 1: everything else was. And that's really how it started. It

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Speaker 1: started from a very personal need, and when I saw

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Speaker 1: that it worked for me, I thought it might help

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Speaker 1: other women as well. And even though I had no

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Speaker 1: experience in jewelry. I knew that if I got this

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Speaker 1: message out, I would be able to help women, and

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Speaker 1: that's where we got started back in two thousands sixteen.

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Speaker 1: I love that so much. I have to tell you.

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Speaker 1: I was reading your bio on Fred and far dot

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Speaker 1: com and when you said the part about that your

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Speaker 1: life you had hit all of these milestones and you know,

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Speaker 1: you were married, you were successful, you had kids, which

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Speaker 1: I think everyone thinks, just like you said, if I

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Speaker 1: get these things, then I will be happy. And I

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Speaker 1: was reading that and I started crying. So it's obviously

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Speaker 1: really resonated with me today. But I feel like that

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Speaker 1: is so true, especially in our society, because we're such

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Speaker 1: a society of doers right now and just thinking if

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Speaker 1: we reach these milestones, we're going to find our happiness.

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Speaker 1: And that has not been true for my life either.

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Speaker 1: So I really found it fascinating. And I think it's

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of pressure put on women, especially to

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Speaker 1: achieve certain labels in order to qualify their worth. You know,

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Speaker 1: even the process of getting married. You know, the man decides,

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Speaker 1: the man proposes, the man puts a ring on you

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Speaker 1: to signify that you belong to him. Um, and I

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Speaker 1: think that that puts a lot of pressure on women,

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Speaker 1: either married women who realize they're not completely fulfilled just

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Speaker 1: because they achieved the wife label, and then other women

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Speaker 1: who either don't want to get married or who haven't

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Speaker 1: found the right person yet. Um. And so I really

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Speaker 1: thought that by using a ring, we could kind of

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Speaker 1: reclaim this idea that are worth is tied up in

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Speaker 1: this idea of belonging. And if it's going to be

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Speaker 1: tied up in that, why not belong to ourselves? Right?

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Speaker 1: And when you say belong to yourself, like, can you

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Speaker 1: talk a little more about that, because like, what is

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Speaker 1: your life? He said you were giving a lot in

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Speaker 1: your life before you kind of had this epiphany. What

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Speaker 1: did that look like? So I come from a long

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Speaker 1: line of women who are queens of self sacrifice. If

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Speaker 1: there is an opportunity for me to martyr myself, um,

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Speaker 1: in in service to someone else, I would do it.

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Speaker 1: That could mean responding to client emails at one o'clock

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Speaker 1: in the morning because that's when they emailed me. That

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Speaker 1: could mean not letting my husband be a father because

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Speaker 1: I thought I could do it better, and trying to

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Speaker 1: do everything by myself. That can mean not setting boundaries

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Speaker 1: with friends who needed almost like a therapy type relationship

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Speaker 1: where my needs weren't even part of the equation. I mean,

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Speaker 1: in every aspect of my life, if there is a

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Speaker 1: way for me to sacrifice myself to make someone else

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Speaker 1: feel good, um, I would do it. And what's interesting

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Speaker 1: now is being the founder of this movement and being

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Speaker 1: the person behind the social media. I engage with women

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Speaker 1: from all around the world on a daily basis. They

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Speaker 1: tell me their stories. I follow every customer, everyone who

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Speaker 1: I interact with on social media. I follow them so

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Speaker 1: I can give them support. But I don't feel depleted

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Speaker 1: anymore because I have boundaries, and because I make sure

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Speaker 1: that in any given day, instead of just taking care

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Speaker 1: of other people, I'm also taking care of myself. That

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Speaker 1: means taking time away from my phone. That means making

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Speaker 1: sure I'm drinking water. That means taking a few minutes

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Speaker 1: to journal, to clear my head, or listen to music,

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Speaker 1: which is something that ever since I was a child,

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Speaker 1: was the most therapeutic thing for me. I have found

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Speaker 1: the things that I need in order to replenish my energy,

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Speaker 1: and I think that exploratory period of figuring out what

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Speaker 1: your needs actually are is the most powerful piece of

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Speaker 1: self love because most women, by the time you reach

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Speaker 1: your mid twenties or thirties, you're very disconnected from the

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Speaker 1: question of what makes you happy, what are your needs,

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Speaker 1: because you're so busy just doing, doing, doing, so creating

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Speaker 1: that space to explore yourself and get to know yourself

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Speaker 1: and then build a lifestyle that supports your needs, that's

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Speaker 1: really the heart of what self love is all about.

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Speaker 1: I love that too, because I feel like, you know,

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Speaker 1: a lot of times, I don't know if it's as

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Speaker 1: women or just as people in general, were put into

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Speaker 1: these boxes of what our lives should look like, and

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Speaker 1: it puts you so out of touch, um, as far

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Speaker 1: as like what your journey should be, you know, like,

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Speaker 1: for for instance, my life looks a little different than

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Speaker 1: other people because I'm thirty six and I'm single, I'm

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Speaker 1: not married, And that has been a really this year,

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Speaker 1: a really big thing for me to accept about myself

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Speaker 1: and my journey because it was so beat into my

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Speaker 1: head that I should be by now, you know, and

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Speaker 1: that just hasn't been the path that's worked out for me. Um.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, so I think it's like, it's an interesting

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Speaker 1: thought to think about getting to know yourself, getting to

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Speaker 1: know what works for you and actually finding your own

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Speaker 1: specific journey exactly. That's go ahead and go ahead, and

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Speaker 1: it's different for everyone. And I think that's the most

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Speaker 1: incredible thing is how unique each one of us are.

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Speaker 1: And what I always say is that you know, each

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Speaker 1: of us is one approximately eight billion. There is no

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Speaker 1: one else like us. And what a gift, thought is

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Speaker 1: to be able to contribute to the world in a

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Speaker 1: way that no one else can't. And so, you know,

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Speaker 1: finding power in that uniqueness I think is really special,

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Speaker 1: as opposed to feeling left out or alienated because you

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Speaker 1: didn't follow the herd. Right, So when you started Fred

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Speaker 1: and Far you said it was kind of by accident, right.

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Speaker 1: You weren't setting out with the intention of starting a company, right,

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Speaker 1: There was no plan at the beginning to start a company.

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Speaker 1: I already had a company. Um, I have a resume

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Speaker 1: writing and career counseling company. So I was already busy

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Speaker 1: working on that and helping people in that way. Um.

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Speaker 1: But there was just something really transformative. In less than

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Speaker 1: a month of wearing the ring, I started doing things

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Speaker 1: for myself that I hadn't done in like five years.

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Speaker 1: What were you doing so like simple things like, wow,

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Speaker 1: I'm a really creative person. Why haven't I gone to

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Speaker 1: a concert or gone to an art museum or explored

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Speaker 1: culture in any capacity since I went to law school?

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Speaker 1: Or I'm you know, I grew up playing the piano

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Speaker 1: for fifteen years. There wasn't a day that went by

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Speaker 1: that I didn't play the piano. And then you know,

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Speaker 1: in my house, I have a piano gathering dust. You know,

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Speaker 1: little things, things that I knew would reconnect me to

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Speaker 1: the version of myself that existed before I thought that

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Speaker 1: achieving was the most important thing in the world. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I read on your website something about um it was

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Speaker 1: talking we were talking about who we are before we

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Speaker 1: gather all this dust, so like who we are as kids?

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Speaker 1: Can you talk about that a little bit? Absolutely? You know,

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Speaker 1: one of the most informative experiences of my life was

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Speaker 1: having twins, because when you have twins, you get to

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Speaker 1: experience two people born into exactly the same environment, and

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Speaker 1: yet as you get to know them, you realize that

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Speaker 1: from birth they are absolutely who they are and regardless

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Speaker 1: of what we give them, the environment we create for them,

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Speaker 1: the nurture we give them. My daughters are night and day,

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Speaker 1: and that was really what opened my eyes to the

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Speaker 1: idea that we are born who we are, I mean,

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Speaker 1: we are fully formed, and what comes from that point

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Speaker 1: forward is a lot of cultural conditioning, you know, the

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Speaker 1: pain and trauma of being a teenager, all the responsibility

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Speaker 1: that comes as we go into adulthood, and all of

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Speaker 1: these external things that happen end up as you, as

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Speaker 1: you mentioned, putting a layer of dust on that true self,

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Speaker 1: that essence, that authentic being that is born into the

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Speaker 1: world feeling perfectly whole in all of our you know,

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Speaker 1: good parts and bad parts, and whoever we are, we

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Speaker 1: accept it when we're born, and then we go through

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Speaker 1: this period of forgetting. And so I think what's really

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Speaker 1: incredible is as you get to know yourself, you get

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Speaker 1: to revisit those experiences that may be added dust on

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Speaker 1: around your authentic self and heal yourself and reclaim yourself

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Speaker 1: and go back to that person you were when you

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Speaker 1: were born. Um. And that journey is different for every person.

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Speaker 1: But as I've noticed, you know, yesterday we started a

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Speaker 1: self love challenge on our Instagram page and the first

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Speaker 1: day of the challenge is about authenticity and rediscovering that

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Speaker 1: authentic self, and we asked women to take a picture

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Speaker 1: of their childhood and use it as their home home

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Speaker 1: screen on their phones as a reminder of who they

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Speaker 1: were before. And seeing these women's pictures and reading their stories,

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Speaker 1: I've I've been in tears for the past twenty four hours. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean I could cry right now when I think

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Speaker 1: about you know that, how a picture could just take

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Speaker 1: you back, take you back before anything happened to you

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Speaker 1: and reclaiming that person and becoming that person again. Um,

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Speaker 1: And I think we can all do that. And my

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Speaker 1: goal with this movement is to give women the tools

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Speaker 1: to do that because I know it's really easy, and

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Speaker 1: we can get a lot of messaging, especially right now,

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Speaker 1: that says love yourself, take care of yourself. What I'm

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Speaker 1: interested is answering the question of how me too, because

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Speaker 1: I think that you know, I think a lot of

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Speaker 1: times people go to do self care and it's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go get a massage, or it's like and

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Speaker 1: those all can be ways to do it, but it

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Speaker 1: doesn't have to cost a million dollars. And there's like

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Speaker 1: a deeper part of it to the authenticity piece being

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Speaker 1: a huge one. Well, That's why I wrote the book

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Speaker 1: The ABC's of Self Love, because I think that as

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Speaker 1: you noted it, there is a lot of value and

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Speaker 1: practicing self care that involves like putting on a face

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Speaker 1: mask or taking aback. But I think the self care

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Speaker 1: that's going to heal you internally has more to do

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Speaker 1: with evaluating your thoughts and experiences and deciding who you

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Speaker 1: want to be as you move forward. So in the book,

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Speaker 1: we talk about things like choosing happy thoughts because how

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Speaker 1: you what happen and too isn't a choice, but how

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Speaker 1: you think about it, how you perceive it, how you

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Speaker 1: internalize it, It's up to you. So giving tools to

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Speaker 1: open that door of hey, I get to choose how

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Speaker 1: I'm going to feel about something. I'm going to choose

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Speaker 1: how I'm going to think about something. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: set boundaries so that I protect myself. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: question negativity when its surfaces. I'm going to know my narrative.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna know my story so that I can find

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Speaker 1: power in it instead of feeling like a victim. This

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Speaker 1: is all you know self care that involves working on

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Speaker 1: your inner self, and once you do that, all the

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Speaker 1: other self care becomes like the cherry on top, right,

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Speaker 1: right right. I think the um the picture as a

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Speaker 1: child is such an interesting thing because I know I've

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Speaker 1: done that in therapy exercises before. But what a lot

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Speaker 1: of people don't talk about is and it's something you've mentioned.

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Speaker 1: I think it was either on your website or maybe

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Speaker 1: in the beginning of the book that I read. But

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Speaker 1: what happens throughout our life or all of those things,

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Speaker 1: we do internalize all of that, So if you're not

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Speaker 1: addressing it, you're just reacting to it later, you know,

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Speaker 1: as an adult. And so a lot of times I

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Speaker 1: find I'll even find myself just operating out of fear

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Speaker 1: in certain situations or um, something that's just such an

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Speaker 1: old an old wound that I just haven't, you know,

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Speaker 1: crossed that path or whatever healed from. And so the

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Speaker 1: childhood picture is interesting because, like you said, it's before

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Speaker 1: the dust. And I've actually looked when you when I

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Speaker 1: read about that, I looked up a picture of myself

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Speaker 1: and it made me cry too. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: that is, but yeah, I mean like it's so um

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Speaker 1: cathartics to really deeply to see the innocence. Maybe I'm

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Speaker 1: not sure exactly. I haven't really tapped into what that's

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Speaker 1: about yet, but it's really really interests. I think it's

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Speaker 1: that pure self Yeah, um, is there a reason that

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Speaker 1: you've kind of angled fred and far towards women. Do

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Speaker 1: you think that there's a particular deficit of self love

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Speaker 1: and women or is it just people in general? You know,

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Speaker 1: it was it was my own experience, and so I

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Speaker 1: was really meeting my own need and so when I

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Speaker 1: thought about expanding it, I thought, you know, let's build

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Speaker 1: this community for women who are all choosing themselves and

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Speaker 1: choosing each other and being part of a community. I

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Speaker 1: you know, don't think that men suffer as much of

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Speaker 1: an identity loss as they move forward in their lives

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Speaker 1: because they're less likely to carry mental load. And that's scientific.

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Speaker 1: Like when it comes to all the responsibilities of life

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Speaker 1: that aren't clearly defined, it's women who step in and

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Speaker 1: fill the gap, and especially women who are mothers. So

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Speaker 1: in a household with you know, kids, for example, even

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Speaker 1: though the mother and a father might both be working parents,

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Speaker 1: it's the mother who's worrying about the birthday presents, who's

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Speaker 1: worrying about scheduling the rep are people who's taking on

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Speaker 1: all the little intricacies that make life flow. And you

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Speaker 1: don't have to be married to see that. Women do that.

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Speaker 1: Women do it in their friendships, they do it in

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Speaker 1: their families, and that takes a huge toll if you're

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Speaker 1: not practicing self care and self awareness. Actually, the ring

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Speaker 1: with the worst I should say, the ring is beautiful.

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Speaker 1: I just got one and I love it. I've been

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Speaker 1: wearing it every day. Um, And it's a shape, it's

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Speaker 1: like an inverted triangle. Right, Yes, why is that the emblem?

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Speaker 1: So that's the emblem on the ring. It's also the

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Speaker 1: symbol of our movements and our logo. The inverted triangles

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Speaker 1: an ancient symbol of the divine feminine, and we wanted

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Speaker 1: to use that energy because it's within all women and

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Speaker 1: it's up to us to tap into it. And if

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Speaker 1: you want to know why that's the symbol of the

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Speaker 1: divine feminine, you just need to look down. It's part

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Speaker 1: of female anatomy. It's where we get our power. And so,

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Speaker 1: you know, a lot of times women are shamed because

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Speaker 1: they're simply because they're women, And there's something really powerful

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Speaker 1: about reclaiming that energy for yourself. And then yeah, and

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Speaker 1: so we use the triangle. And what's really interesting is

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Speaker 1: women who have joined us have really taken it a

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Speaker 1: step further and added, you know, additional meaning to the ring. Um.

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Speaker 1: For example, we've had women share with us that the

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Speaker 1: direction that they wear the ring has meaning to them.

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Speaker 1: So in a triangle, you have three points, the singular

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Speaker 1: point that I will face in when they want to

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Speaker 1: protect their energy and they want to give their energy

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Speaker 1: to themselves, and then they'll face it out when they

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Speaker 1: want to give their energy to the world, which I

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Speaker 1: thought was really interesting. Interesting minds down right now is

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Speaker 1: I guess I'm taking all my energy in. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: that's what we need. I mean, it's fun to have that,

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Speaker 1: you know, flexibility and how you wear it. We have

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Speaker 1: other women who have who wear two at once. So

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Speaker 1: you know, one of our special stone that we do

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Speaker 1: sometimes as a black spinnel, so they'll wear the black

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Speaker 1: ring and the white ring together to symbolize embracing all

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Speaker 1: parts of themselves the lightness and the dark, which is

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Speaker 1: really beautiful. And so you know, we had another woman

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Speaker 1: order a customer ring with a pink sapphire because she

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Speaker 1: was a breast cancer survivor that she wanted that pink

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Speaker 1: to symbolize her journey as a cancer warrior. And so

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Speaker 1: just seeing how women take the ring and make it

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Speaker 1: their own and make it a source of constant like

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Speaker 1: a constant symbol and reminder and source of power is

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Speaker 1: extremely inspirational to me. Yeah, I love all those ideas.

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Speaker 1: It is so interesting when you do something for yourself

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Speaker 1: like this, maybe as a gift for yourself. Um there,

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Speaker 1: it just feels so much more powerful. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: When I opened my box, I was like, yes, like

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Speaker 1: it just felt really good to put on and do

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Speaker 1: something for myself. Um, and just to have a reminder. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and think about this too. We are a very very

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Speaker 1: very small company, and so every ring, every order is

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Speaker 1: packed with intention and love, Like we look at your name,

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Speaker 1: we think about you when we put the ring in

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Speaker 1: the box. We really try to infuse it with so

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Speaker 1: much intention and love. And you know, I really think

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Speaker 1: women feel that when they received the packages. It's different

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Speaker 1: than when you just order something on Amazon or first

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Speaker 1: the packaging in general, like the box, actual box, the

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Speaker 1: little notes you guys put in there. It says one

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Speaker 1: of them says engagement ring is a commitment to another.

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Speaker 1: And then our pinky ring is commitment to self and

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Speaker 1: then you kind of make your own little pinky promise too,

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Speaker 1: yeah yourself, which I mean, I'm gonna keep these cards

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Speaker 1: just as another reminder too. Something else I loved that

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Speaker 1: I read on your website is the whole process of

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Speaker 1: like how these are made. Everything involves supporting other women,

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Speaker 1: doesn't it. Yes, we you know, throughout the history of

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Speaker 1: the company, all of the people we've employed have been

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Speaker 1: when and and that energy I think really has permeated

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Speaker 1: every aspect of the brand, from the design of the

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Speaker 1: brand identity to the vibe on social media. We create

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Speaker 1: tons of original content that speaks directly to women because

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Speaker 1: we are women and it's not a marketing firm just

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Speaker 1: coming up with self love slogans Like I tend to

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Speaker 1: write most of the content and real time, so whatever

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Speaker 1: I happen to be feeling, I'll write something about it.

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Speaker 1: And the most profound thing is that I will invariably

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Speaker 1: always get a message or a comment or DM that says, wow,

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Speaker 1: I needed that today, And I feel like I'm tapped

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Speaker 1: into this hive, this energy across all the women who

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Speaker 1: joined us, and when someone needs something, I feel it,

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Speaker 1: and um that intuition that I have within myself and

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Speaker 1: that other women have, Like our intuition speaks to each other,

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Speaker 1: and I think if we all listen to that a

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Speaker 1: little bit more, our culture as a whole would be

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Speaker 1: very different. Yeah. I think that's also can tappen to,

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Speaker 1: like the trusting the universe to put you to be

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Speaker 1: and feel what you need to feel and know that

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Speaker 1: your journey is an important one. Yes, I had no

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Speaker 1: idea where this would lead me. You know, when I

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Speaker 1: started this company, the first month or two we we

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Speaker 1: had maybe like one order a month or one order

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Speaker 1: a week. And when one person believed in us enough

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Speaker 1: one writer to write about it, it was unracked. And

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Speaker 1: after that we had a hundred pieces of press around

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Speaker 1: the world in a matter of two to three weeks.

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Speaker 1: And so, you know, it's amazing because as a small company,

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Speaker 1: you think, I have to hire pr people, I have

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Speaker 1: to do this, I have to do that. But if

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Speaker 1: you have an authentic message and you share it UM,

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Speaker 1: it will resonate. And I think that it's been really

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Speaker 1: incredible seeing how people have responded because when we started,

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Speaker 1: there was no self love movement. No one was talking

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Speaker 1: about self love UM. And as soon as we started,

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Speaker 1: there was this huge shift and a very necessary change.

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Speaker 1: And now self love and self care are phrases that

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Speaker 1: you hear almost every day and people are thinking about.

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Speaker 1: So we're really proud to have been a part of

432
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,520
Speaker 1: that at the beginning. I think you make a great

433
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:27,359
Speaker 1: point when you say, um that we're never taught self care,

434
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:30,240
Speaker 1: Like we spend all this time in school learning all

435
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,320
Speaker 1: of these things that we actually never apply in our

436
00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 1: adult lives. And there's no class on how to take

437
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,520
Speaker 1: care of yourself or love yourself or anything like that.

438
00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:42,720
Speaker 1: I guess it's a parent's responsibility. I don't know where

439
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:46,479
Speaker 1: is that supposed to come from. Nobody thinks about it,

440
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 1: no one talks about it. I mean, it's astounding to

441
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:54,080
Speaker 1: me because I have three kids now, two of them

442
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 1: are girls who are six and a half, and I

443
00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:01,600
Speaker 1: see it starting to happen. I see them starting to

444
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 1: worry about how they're perceived by others, and so I

445
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:09,200
Speaker 1: constantly share this messaging with them and give them tools

446
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 1: um to practice self care and self love. But I

447
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:17,960
Speaker 1: don't think that's happening universally. And I know that had

448
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:21,600
Speaker 1: I been given that tool, it would have made my

449
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 1: teenage years and my college and everything after a lot

450
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:28,080
Speaker 1: easier because I had to learn it the hard way.

451
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 1: And then here we are in our thirties having to

452
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:36,440
Speaker 1: heal from everything that happened. And my goal with this movement,

453
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:39,439
Speaker 1: this ring, this book, the way I talked to my kids,

454
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,640
Speaker 1: the messaging I put out to the universe is I

455
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:46,320
Speaker 1: think women as girls should feel whole. They should go

456
00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:49,880
Speaker 1: into the world feeling like they don't need a partner

457
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 1: to have worth. They don't need to sacrifice themselves to

458
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 1: have friendships, and they don't need to change to conform

459
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 1: with what's idea expects of them in order to be successful.

460
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 1: And instead, the more they can spend time in their

461
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:09,359
Speaker 1: inner world getting to know themselves at being confident about

462
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:11,760
Speaker 1: who that person is, the better able to will be

463
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 1: to make a positive impact on the world and be

464
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 1: successful in their lives in the ways that really matter.

465
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 1: Because you know, the way you and I talked about,

466
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:25,159
Speaker 1: we reached every milestone and happiness wasn't waiting for us

467
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 1: right um, And so the only guarantee you have is yourself.

468
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:32,520
Speaker 1: You're the only one who will be there throughout it all.

469
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:34,720
Speaker 1: So why not get to know that person and take

470
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,240
Speaker 1: care of her, right. I think it was such such

471
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,879
Speaker 1: an interesting thing for me, Like, um, last year, I

472
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,440
Speaker 1: had a really busy, with busy year with work, and

473
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 1: one of the consistent messages that I get from people

474
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:48,399
Speaker 1: as you're killing it, you're killing it. And I was

475
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:53,600
Speaker 1: so busy and so throwing myself into everyone else and

476
00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:58,199
Speaker 1: everything else that I was like, really because I felt

477
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:02,399
Speaker 1: terrible inside, true, and like it's so interesting that you

478
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 1: can look from the outside like you are just killing

479
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:08,359
Speaker 1: it and success when all that stuff, but feel like shit. Really,

480
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:11,639
Speaker 1: I mean, well, Fred and Farr has been a really

481
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:15,879
Speaker 1: interesting um place to explore those feelings because it's a

482
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:19,439
Speaker 1: self love company, right. But in order for it to

483
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 1: grow and succeed, I've compromised myself and my well being

484
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:29,880
Speaker 1: many many times. And you know, around we around the holidays.

485
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:32,720
Speaker 1: There was this one day where I was trying to

486
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 1: do a promotion on the website and it wasn't working

487
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 1: and people were sending me angry emails and I just

488
00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 1: went on Instagram Stories and I was bawling and I

489
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:43,919
Speaker 1: was like, Hey, I'm one person, I'm trying to do

490
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:47,520
Speaker 1: my best. I'm sorry. The free gift didn't add to

491
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:51,240
Speaker 1: cart the way were supposed to, you know, like, I'm

492
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:54,520
Speaker 1: just doing my best, and you know, I constantly have

493
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 1: to remember that as much as I love this business

494
00:27:57,520 --> 00:28:00,200
Speaker 1: and I love the women of this tribe, if I'm

495
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:03,320
Speaker 1: sacrificing myself and not taking care of myself in order

496
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:06,879
Speaker 1: for it to exist, I'm not living my truth and

497
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:09,840
Speaker 1: I'm not honoring the message that I'm sharing with the world.

498
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:13,480
Speaker 1: And in fact, it was funny. A few days ago

499
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:17,360
Speaker 1: a friend of mine who's a guy, messaged me and goes, hey,

500
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 1: you want to go to a meditation class today? And

501
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:23,000
Speaker 1: my first thought was I don't have time to meditate.

502
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:27,720
Speaker 1: I have me right, But it was like January third.

503
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:29,760
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, you know, it's the beginning of

504
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:33,560
Speaker 1: the year. I should go. And after we went, he

505
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:35,439
Speaker 1: took me to coffee and he looked me in the

506
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 1: eye and he said, I have to call you out

507
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,160
Speaker 1: on something and I'm like, what is it. He's like,

508
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 1: you're the head of a self love movement, but you

509
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:44,200
Speaker 1: haven't been taking care of yourself lately. You need to

510
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:48,160
Speaker 1: take care of yourself better. And I was like, wow,

511
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:51,920
Speaker 1: like he really. First of all, again, I'm going to

512
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 1: cry because I mean, how rare is it for someone

513
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:57,960
Speaker 1: to actually witness you in that way and have the

514
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 1: love to take you to a ass and then gently

515
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 1: tell you after that they're worried about you. Um he

516
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 1: did that for me, and it was like a reset

517
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 1: because as an entrepreneur and do you know and anybody

518
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:15,160
Speaker 1: who's working, it's really easy to burn out because of

519
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 1: all the things you think you have to do. Um

520
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 1: and I what I hope is that through this movement,

521
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 1: through the Ring, through the book, through all the you

522
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 1: know Fred and far does to try to make self

523
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,680
Speaker 1: love and self care actionable, that we make it a

524
00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:33,719
Speaker 1: little bit easier for women to remember themselves. How do

525
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 1: you have boundaries? Because I know as a small business

526
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 1: center myself, it is it's really hard because you don't

527
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:43,000
Speaker 1: always have the resources of other people helping, and so

528
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 1: you're doing a lot of it. And then you also

529
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,720
Speaker 1: have three kids and a husband, so what are you

530
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 1: How are you drawing the line somewhere to take care

531
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 1: of yourself in the midst of all that. I think

532
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:55,560
Speaker 1: a lot of it has to do with having a

533
00:29:55,680 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 1: very flexible relationship with the future. I've opt requiring specific

534
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 1: outcomes to happen in order to be happy. So, as

535
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:11,200
Speaker 1: a business owner like you, may set you know, key

536
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:14,479
Speaker 1: performance indicators like okay, like we have to do this

537
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 1: much in sales, or we have to grow our email

538
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 1: lists by this much, or our Instagram posts have to

539
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:22,080
Speaker 1: get this many likes or comments in order for us

540
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 1: to be quote unquote successful. I've done away with all

541
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:29,959
Speaker 1: of that, um because what and what I have found

542
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:33,440
Speaker 1: is when I'm too specific about where I need to

543
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:35,959
Speaker 1: be in order to feel successful, I end up feeling

544
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 1: like I'm drowning because I just I simply have too

545
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:41,800
Speaker 1: much on my plate. In order to do that. I

546
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 1: still set goals, but they're more fluid, and they also

547
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,160
Speaker 1: have a lot more to do with how I'm feeling.

548
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 1: If I'm feeling good and productive and happy, and I

549
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 1: feel like I'm making progress, then that's successful for me.

550
00:30:54,960 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 1: I don't ever require perfection. It's all about the journey. Um.

551
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,560
Speaker 1: It's all about the progress. And then with regard to

552
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 1: balancing my kids and work and my relationship and myself,

553
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 1: the more I can schedule things the better. So I know,

554
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:16,600
Speaker 1: for example, that Mondays and Wednesdays I have full work days.

555
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:19,320
Speaker 1: I know that Tuesdays and Thursdays I pick up my

556
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:22,280
Speaker 1: kids from school so I could spend half a day

557
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 1: with them. I know that on the weekends, I'm not

558
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:30,000
Speaker 1: gonna work no matter what. Um and and Friday's are

559
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 1: my are my day where I have to get in

560
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:35,280
Speaker 1: a class, I need to take a long walk, like

561
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 1: whatever it is that I can get in UM I

562
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,160
Speaker 1: do that on Fridays. And I'm lucky because I work

563
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 1: for myself and I'm able to craft a flexible schedule.

564
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:46,840
Speaker 1: And I know that a lot of women don't have

565
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:49,920
Speaker 1: that flexibility. So that's a privilege I'm very aware of.

566
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:53,520
Speaker 1: But I think everyone does have. You know, they always say,

567
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:55,920
Speaker 1: like you have the same number of hours in a days, Beyonce,

568
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:59,720
Speaker 1: Like we all have four hours, and instead of scrolling

569
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:02,480
Speaker 1: on Instagram for an hour, watching Netflix for an hour,

570
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 1: Like what could you do for yourself that's actually gonna

571
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:08,440
Speaker 1: make you feel good instead of numb? Because we all

572
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 1: spend a lot of time in our on our electronics.

573
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 1: And what I have found is when I do things

574
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:17,160
Speaker 1: that don't involve electronics, that's when I'm recharging my battery.

575
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 1: Like last night I made cookie dough for my kids,

576
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 1: And there's something about putting my hands in the dough

577
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 1: and touching something that's so tactile and so real that

578
00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 1: was energizing for me, and I had forgotten what that

579
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,720
Speaker 1: felt like because it's been a while. I spend most

580
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 1: of my time on the computer on my cell phone.

581
00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:41,280
Speaker 1: So I think having those tactile I r L like

582
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 1: in real life experiences are really powerful way to reconnect

583
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 1: with yourself and reset your nervous system. Yeah. I think

584
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 1: it was. Actually I was about to close something and

585
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:52,240
Speaker 1: then I was like, oh wait, I think it was

586
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:55,960
Speaker 1: in your book. Um. But the thing about the repetitive

587
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:59,200
Speaker 1: movement like gardening or what you're saying about the cookie dough,

588
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 1: that I struggle with meditation and I've talked about this

589
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 1: on the podcast a lot, but I'm getting a little better.

590
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:07,480
Speaker 1: I can do up to ten minutes now, which is

591
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 1: huge for me, but at my brain just wants to

592
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 1: go back to work or all the to do list.

593
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:17,320
Speaker 1: So doing something sometimes like like an act like that

594
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,200
Speaker 1: is really helpful in a good way for me to

595
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:22,719
Speaker 1: kind of get back in touch with what am I feeling,

596
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:25,719
Speaker 1: what it like, Hi, Kelly, you know, instead of just

597
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 1: like through the day. It's amazing. Gardening is something that

598
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:33,000
Speaker 1: I would always make fun of my parents for doing

599
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:36,320
Speaker 1: like they spend their whole weekend's gardening, And for the

600
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 1: longest time, I would just look at them and be

601
00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 1: like really, like who wants to weed? Like what are

602
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 1: you doing? But um, like last month I did a

603
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:49,960
Speaker 1: whole weekend project where I redid our front lawn because

604
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:53,920
Speaker 1: it was looking horrible, and I spent two days with

605
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 1: my hands in the dirt and it was electrifying. It's

606
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 1: it's as though every cell and my body woke up.

607
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 1: That is crazy, because I feel the same about gardening. Well,

608
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 1: I kill every plant that I have, so but at

609
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:12,360
Speaker 1: least they're giving me a little bit of life in

610
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:19,280
Speaker 1: the prosper writing, Let's talk a little more about the book. Um,

611
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:22,399
Speaker 1: I did start it yesterday and it's it's really it's

612
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 1: a simple read, which I love to like, especially something

613
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:28,840
Speaker 1: at night or in the morning sometime, um, and you

614
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:31,759
Speaker 1: can pick up It's the A B C's of what

615
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:33,759
Speaker 1: is it called the A B C's of self love? Right,

616
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:39,440
Speaker 1: And so each letter has a specific word to focus on,

617
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:42,319
Speaker 1: and then you have these little activities after or like

618
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:46,439
Speaker 1: little action things to do that I love thank you

619
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:52,120
Speaker 1: so like a is what this authenticity and abandoned. Yes,

620
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:55,360
Speaker 1: that's all about connecting with your true self and getting

621
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:58,600
Speaker 1: rid of the dust that we talked about. Um BE

622
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:03,640
Speaker 1: is boundaries. See is a play on like the four Seas.

623
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:05,759
Speaker 1: So anyone who wants to buy a diamond, you hear

624
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:08,719
Speaker 1: the four seas, the four seeds. So we have our

625
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:12,799
Speaker 1: own four seas, which are clarity, commitment, creation, and community.

626
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:16,960
Speaker 1: And it's all about kind of reflecting within and then

627
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:21,880
Speaker 1: building world around you that nourishes um what you feel

628
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:24,480
Speaker 1: you should be doing with your life. That clarity piece

629
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:28,680
Speaker 1: um D is daily dream. This is something that was

630
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:31,920
Speaker 1: really powerful for me because I'm very practical. I live

631
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:35,560
Speaker 1: very much in the real world, and I realized I

632
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:39,359
Speaker 1: wasn't spending any time dreaming, and so I set an

633
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,400
Speaker 1: alarm on my phone, a calendar alert with one of

634
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,800
Speaker 1: my best friends, and every day at five o'clock we

635
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:47,719
Speaker 1: would have to spend fifteen minutes dreaming and text each

636
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:52,040
Speaker 1: other our dreams. Love that and having that like practical

637
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:55,799
Speaker 1: application that doing peace where it's not just okay, here's

638
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 1: an idea, but actually having something you can do to

639
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:01,960
Speaker 1: execute on it, I think is where where real self

640
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:05,239
Speaker 1: love lives. And it's why I wanted to write this

641
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:08,359
Speaker 1: book is for the past three years, I've been exploring

642
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:11,959
Speaker 1: a lot of concepts, and I thought, how amazing would

643
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 1: it be to have all of that live in one

644
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:18,319
Speaker 1: space and make it interactive so that women can pick

645
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 1: a letter a day or a letter a week or

646
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:23,799
Speaker 1: whatever pace makes sense to them, learn a little bit

647
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:27,320
Speaker 1: about the theme, and then do something in the moment

648
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 1: that that will help them connect with the idea and

649
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:33,480
Speaker 1: really make it part of the fabric of their being. Right.

650
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:35,880
Speaker 1: I feel like it's a lot of times the difficult

651
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 1: part for people is like, Okay, I do want to

652
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,320
Speaker 1: do some things for myself or get to know myself,

653
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:42,960
Speaker 1: and they just don't know how. So this is actually

654
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 1: a really good start to kind of have some activities

655
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:50,240
Speaker 1: and go through a couple of practices to help that process.

656
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:53,960
Speaker 1: And you know, we're going through the books we started yesterday,

657
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,920
Speaker 1: we're going through it on Instagram a letter a day.

658
00:36:57,080 --> 00:37:00,319
Speaker 1: And I think seeing other people gave you in the

659
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:04,480
Speaker 1: activities is really really powerful because you feel like you're

660
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 1: not alone. And I think a lot of women, even

661
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 1: though we're surrounded by other people, we feel really lonely sometimes.

662
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,399
Speaker 1: And so knowing there's a place you can go where

663
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:17,880
Speaker 1: there are other women who share your values and who

664
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 1: are also willing to be vulnerable, um and share themselves

665
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,680
Speaker 1: has been really powerful. I mean, you know, a few

666
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:27,799
Speaker 1: weeks ago, I found out that a member of our

667
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:31,319
Speaker 1: tribe was moving to Virginia Beach and it was kind

668
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,200
Speaker 1: of an uncertain kind of move because she didn't know

669
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:35,960
Speaker 1: anyone there. And I said, you know what, let me

670
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,040
Speaker 1: see who from Fred and Far lives there and let

671
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:40,560
Speaker 1: me connect you. And I did and they're going to

672
00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 1: get together now. And so that's a positive way that

673
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:47,560
Speaker 1: if I was gonna say that social media, you know,

674
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:50,560
Speaker 1: I feel like we have this false sense of connection

675
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:52,680
Speaker 1: a lot of times with people because of kind of

676
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:56,080
Speaker 1: the way our society works right now with Instagram and

677
00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:59,000
Speaker 1: all of that stuff. But it's based on likes and

678
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:01,440
Speaker 1: just I don't know if you know someone's full story.

679
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:05,120
Speaker 1: But that's a really cool way to actually use the

680
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:10,400
Speaker 1: community and use it as a community and for real connection. Yeah. Um,

681
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:14,360
Speaker 1: you know, Instagram has its and all social media it

682
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:17,759
Speaker 1: has its pros and its cons. And I think the

683
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:21,520
Speaker 1: sooner you can let go of the idea that you

684
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:25,720
Speaker 1: are defined by your following or your engagement the more

685
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:30,359
Speaker 1: free you will be to actually have an authentic experience

686
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 1: that other people will connect with and want to be

687
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:37,040
Speaker 1: part of. You know, it's hard because you know, Fred

688
00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 1: and Far all of our followers are real and that

689
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 1: is a very rare thing in today's social media. And

690
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 1: UM I also don't use any bots to go like

691
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 1: or follow other accounts, and so, you know, we don't

692
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:56,920
Speaker 1: really grow. We kind of stay in the same place

693
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,360
Speaker 1: because we lose people and we gain people. And for

694
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:02,279
Speaker 1: a while that really bothered me because I thought, hey,

695
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:05,960
Speaker 1: if we're not growing, like, what does that company? But

696
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:09,239
Speaker 1: you know, it doesn't matter. What matters is that the

697
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 1: people that we do reach are being positively impacted. And

698
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:17,359
Speaker 1: that's really why I'm here. You know. Self love for

699
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 1: me has been a lot about learning what my story

700
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:23,879
Speaker 1: is and what my goal is as a human being

701
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 1: on this planet, and it's really to empower other people, men, women, children,

702
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:31,960
Speaker 1: whoever it may be, by giving them the power to

703
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:35,759
Speaker 1: see themselves and find power and strength and who they are.

704
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 1: And as long as I feel like I'm doing that,

705
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 1: whether we have twenty four thousand followers or fifty, UM,

706
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:46,200
Speaker 1: I know that that I'm making an impact. And so

707
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:49,040
Speaker 1: you know, I think there's a lot of pressure that's

708
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 1: imposed on people. Um, if you have an Instagram account,

709
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 1: even if it's a personal account and you only have

710
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:58,640
Speaker 1: two hundred followers, you still want to feel like people

711
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:01,640
Speaker 1: are liking you and calm men ching and that you're

712
00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 1: doing a good job. And I think that's an unnecessary

713
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:08,280
Speaker 1: layer of stress, given that there's so much real stuff

714
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 1: to be stressed out about right now, right, Um, yeah,

715
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:15,960
Speaker 1: I totally agree, And I think there's positives and negatives.

716
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 1: It's hard when you make a business out of it.

717
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:20,160
Speaker 1: Like I find myself having to really set some boundaries

718
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:24,040
Speaker 1: with it because it really fuels my blog business now,

719
00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 1: and it can get very I can get very disconnected

720
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:32,799
Speaker 1: from myself and just living in that world. And I'm like, wait, wait, wait, um, So,

721
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 1: speaking of the stuff that you guys are doing on Instagram,

722
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:37,400
Speaker 1: you do have a lot of self care resources or

723
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:40,920
Speaker 1: self love resources on your website and then on Instagram.

724
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 1: And I'm going to put a blog together just to

725
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:46,040
Speaker 1: let people know where to find your book. Is it

726
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 1: out yet? Yes? Okay, it's available on Amazon. Amazon. Okay, Um,

727
00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:53,440
Speaker 1: if you search for Melody Godfred, it'll come right up.

728
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:56,239
Speaker 1: It's the A. B. C's of Self Love. Um. It's

729
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:59,399
Speaker 1: also available on our website at front of mar dot com.

730
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,520
Speaker 1: I'll link to that on Velvet Sedge dot com too,

731
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:05,800
Speaker 1: And obviously if you guys wanted to check out the rings,

732
00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 1: which I highly suggest even, I mean, if it's just

733
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 1: if it's a gift for you, if you and your

734
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,719
Speaker 1: best you want to go in on it. Valentine's Day

735
00:41:12,760 --> 00:41:14,680
Speaker 1: is coming up, that would be a really great gift

736
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:17,680
Speaker 1: for you. Um. But those are available on fred and

737
00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:19,279
Speaker 1: far dot com And like you said, there's a couple

738
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:23,640
Speaker 1: different options of the kinds you can get. Correct. Yeah,

739
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:26,400
Speaker 1: right now, I think we have the originals up and

740
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 1: then we are able to do custom orders with different stones,

741
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:33,840
Speaker 1: and we'll be launching a new stone, fingers Crossed, in

742
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:36,320
Speaker 1: the next week or so, so people should stay tuned.

743
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:39,400
Speaker 1: It'll be a new stone we're offering for the first time.

744
00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:46,400
Speaker 1: Nice Okay, Yeah, thank you, Just to say I really

745
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:51,720
Speaker 1: appreciate your platform and that you're providing resources and taking

746
00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:54,520
Speaker 1: the time to shed light on us. So thank you

747
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 1: so much, Kelly, No, thank you. I was just about

748
00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,160
Speaker 1: to thank you for doing this for me. It's it's

749
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,920
Speaker 1: Janue wary and it's velvet's edge. I'm kind of putting

750
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:03,759
Speaker 1: some focus on self love. I just try to do

751
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:07,120
Speaker 1: what I'm going through. As you know what I talked

752
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:10,360
Speaker 1: about on the blog and stuff and um, after Christmas

753
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 1: and the holidays, man, I was just like, I gotta

754
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:15,399
Speaker 1: take a step back from all this, like you need

755
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:17,879
Speaker 1: to buy this, you need to get all this. Like

756
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:21,360
Speaker 1: although I just said go by the ring, but you

757
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:24,760
Speaker 1: know it's so funny. I struggle with that. I don't

758
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:29,719
Speaker 1: like selling. It's hard. And if you look at our

759
00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:32,719
Speaker 1: social like there are barely any pictures of the ring

760
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 1: because I don't like pushing it. Um. I think it

761
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:38,320
Speaker 1: finds women when they need it and they buy it

762
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:41,279
Speaker 1: when they're ready, So I don't need to sell it.

763
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:44,640
Speaker 1: But if there's one closing thought I could offer to

764
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:48,399
Speaker 1: your listeners, it's that it's January. You're going to be

765
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:52,200
Speaker 1: bombarded with a lot of New Year, New you, and

766
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 1: you're going to feel all this pressure to go on

767
00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:58,680
Speaker 1: a diet or change, make a drastic change in your lifestyle.

768
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:03,279
Speaker 1: And truth of the matter is your mantra in this

769
00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:07,279
Speaker 1: year should be new Year true. You forget about a

770
00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:11,359
Speaker 1: new version, just be yourself. And devote times figuring out

771
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:15,319
Speaker 1: who that is. Yes, New Year, true you, I might

772
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:19,719
Speaker 1: have to adopt that, please do Mine was go big

773
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:24,919
Speaker 1: or go home, but maybe I'll try bo. Yes, well,

774
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:27,640
Speaker 1: I think going big. There's no bigger thing than you

775
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 1: can be than your authentic self. Hey that is see

776
00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:35,120
Speaker 1: that works a lot of Yes, it is so true, Melodie.

777
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:37,120
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for doing this with me. It

778
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:38,839
Speaker 1: was so good to actually get to talk to you.

779
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:42,279
Speaker 1: My pleasure and you guys. Check out everything we talked

780
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:44,839
Speaker 1: about on Velvet's edge dot com. I'll have that up

781
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:47,960
Speaker 1: as soon as this podcast comes out. Thanks for listening.

782
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:48,919
Speaker 1: Thank you,