1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:03,440 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:08,239 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, on dating, on work, sex, parenting, and more, 3 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:11,720 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com. 4 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:15,160 Speaker 1: We need those juicy letters. Come on now click submit 5 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:18,120 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter and we could be reading your letter live 6 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:20,200 Speaker 1: on the air, just like we're going to read this 7 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:22,239 Speaker 1: one right here, right now. It could be yours. You 8 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:25,680 Speaker 1: never know, never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. 9 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,319 Speaker 1: We got it for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter. 10 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:32,760 Speaker 1: All right, Thank enough you subject a smother lover. Dear 11 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:35,680 Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I'm a thirty nine year old woman dating 12 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:38,040 Speaker 1: a forty five year old man. We met a year 13 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: ago and things started off fantastic and moved quickly. He 14 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 1: is a very sensitive and emotional man who has no 15 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 1: difficulty expressing his every emotion to me. After dating men 16 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 1: that play games and aren't serious about settling down with 17 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:57,560 Speaker 1: one woman, my boyfriend's openness was refreshing, but now it's 18 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 1: proving to be way too much. He has started to 19 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:04,800 Speaker 1: complain about me being too busy for him. Since I'm 20 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:07,679 Speaker 1: back at work full time now, I got home and 21 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:10,680 Speaker 1: need a few minutes to chill and relax, But he's 22 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: in my driveway every day this week when I get home. 23 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:18,600 Speaker 1: He wants to be right up under me every week, 24 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:22,120 Speaker 1: right every week night, and keeps telling me that he's 25 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:26,360 Speaker 1: afraid we're growing apart. He told me that he loved me. 26 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:30,360 Speaker 1: He loved when we were quarantined together because we were inseparable. 27 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:32,840 Speaker 1: I liked it too, because we were getting to know 28 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:35,880 Speaker 1: each other. Then he started bringing his work clothes to 29 00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:38,880 Speaker 1: my house and says it's too cold to go home 30 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:42,000 Speaker 1: every night and he'd rather cuddle with me. This man 31 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:46,720 Speaker 1: loves to cuddle, wine and make love to me whenever 32 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,920 Speaker 1: we're together. I told him he's smothering me with his 33 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 1: actions and smothering me in the bed nightly. I have 34 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:56,960 Speaker 1: to roll him off of me. He says he can't 35 00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:00,840 Speaker 1: sleep unless he's touching some part of my body. Recently, 36 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: I had a conversation about taking a break or dialing 37 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 1: it back a little bit because he couldn't process. But 38 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 1: he couldn't process a conversation without crying and telling me 39 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:16,280 Speaker 1: that he can't live without me. I love this type 40 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:18,960 Speaker 1: of attention and all of the affection, but I'm afraid 41 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 1: of falling too deeply for him because he may have 42 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 1: emotional issues. How do I handle this relationship emotional issues? 43 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 1: I don't know. Something might be a little off here. 44 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,080 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure get off of me has probably 45 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:36,200 Speaker 1: crossed your mind, and you've said it a few times 46 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 1: because you know while you're with him, because all the 47 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:42,960 Speaker 1: stuff here says you say he's doing it is a 48 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:45,919 Speaker 1: little smothering and suffocating if he's in the driveway when 49 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 1: you get home and all of that. But you also 50 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 1: said that you're moved quickly. Now, these are the type 51 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 1: of red flags that slip by when you move too quickly. 52 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,200 Speaker 1: And I think there's definitely something going on with him 53 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,440 Speaker 1: because he is too much and he has too much 54 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:03,320 Speaker 1: time on his hands. Why is he sitting in your 55 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:07,519 Speaker 1: driveway before you can even get home from work? Where 56 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:10,480 Speaker 1: does he work? I mean? And why is he crying 57 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,560 Speaker 1: and whining when you tell him that you need to 58 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:15,720 Speaker 1: dial it back and take a break. These are the 59 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:19,799 Speaker 1: things that attracted you to him before you've been dating 60 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:21,720 Speaker 1: for a year, which is a good amount of time. 61 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:25,800 Speaker 1: But I think there is something a little off saying 62 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 1: he can't live without you, he's not being able to 63 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:30,959 Speaker 1: sleep without touching any part of your body and making 64 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:33,680 Speaker 1: your body go numb. And this we're not talking numb 65 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:36,800 Speaker 1: in a good way from your perspective. And I will 66 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:39,640 Speaker 1: say this, Yes, women do like to cuddle. Yes, we 67 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:43,000 Speaker 1: do love the affections and attention of a man and 68 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,720 Speaker 1: all of that. We like to bask in all that glow. 69 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,080 Speaker 1: But it does sound like he's being a bit too 70 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,600 Speaker 1: needy and overbearing. So I just say it's time to 71 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:54,600 Speaker 1: reassess your relationship and maybe set some new boundaries. Steve, 72 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:59,160 Speaker 1: I'm about to do the letter now. I want to 73 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:08,200 Speaker 1: fall all all sensitive or caring people. My response is 74 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: not for you. I would like to put a disclaimer 75 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:17,600 Speaker 1: on my response. Again, if you are a sensitive or 76 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:23,239 Speaker 1: caring person, my response, you're not going to like. Let's 77 00:04:23,279 --> 00:04:27,360 Speaker 1: go Stephen Sherley, I'm a thirty nine year old woman 78 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:31,000 Speaker 1: up dating a forty five year old man. We met 79 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 1: a year ago and things started off fantastic and moved quickly. 80 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 1: He is a very sensitive and emotional man. Now let's 81 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 1: stop right here. He is a very sensitive and emotional man. Ladies, 82 00:04:53,600 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 1: listen to me. That in a man is a dangerous combination. 83 00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 1: The combination is dangerous. Now you can be one or 84 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:11,599 Speaker 1: the other, but you can't be both. You can be 85 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:17,280 Speaker 1: a sensitive man or you can be an emotional man, 86 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:25,000 Speaker 1: but you can't be both because now you are invading 87 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:31,240 Speaker 1: on a woman's right to be either. Because if you 88 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:36,159 Speaker 1: both of them all the damn time, when do she 89 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 1: get to be either one of those? If you have 90 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:46,719 Speaker 1: a man that's emotional and sensitive, that's a dangerous combination. 91 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:51,880 Speaker 1: And the letter will start telling it immediately. Who has 92 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 1: no difficulty expressing every emotion to me? Who do that? 93 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,359 Speaker 1: And after dating me in the play games and ain't 94 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:03,640 Speaker 1: serious about settling down with one woman? My boyfriend's openness 95 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:07,360 Speaker 1: was refreshing. I bet it was at first, but soon 96 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:10,640 Speaker 1: as she say that in the letter, but now it's 97 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:16,559 Speaker 1: proving to be way too much. Why because, Shirley, it's 98 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 1: a dangerous combination. You can't have a man that's sensitive 99 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:27,880 Speaker 1: and emotional. It's too much, because even a woman don't 100 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:31,479 Speaker 1: want that in a man. Oh he's so sensitive, Oh 101 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:35,480 Speaker 1: he's emotional. He about to drive my ass crazy. You'll 102 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:39,400 Speaker 1: see we come back. I got it all right. Coming up, 103 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,160 Speaker 1: we'll have part two of Steve's response to twenty three 104 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:46,320 Speaker 1: minutes after the hour strawberry letters. Subject for today's mother 105 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:52,280 Speaker 1: lover will get back into it right after this. You're listening, 106 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 1: all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. 107 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 1: The subject's mother lover. All right. The thirty nine year 108 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,160 Speaker 1: old woman is dating a man who's forty five. He's 109 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:06,159 Speaker 1: very sensitive and emotional. Now, I said on the break before, 110 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 1: that's a dangerous combination. Ladies. A man can be one 111 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:13,119 Speaker 1: or the other, but he cannot be both. Surely asked 112 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 1: me why. I said, because it invades on a woman's 113 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:19,400 Speaker 1: space to be either. Because a woman can't. When does 114 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,320 Speaker 1: she get to be emotional or sensitive if your man 115 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 1: is already that all the time. She said that her openness, 116 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:29,160 Speaker 1: He said, her openness was refreshing at first, but now 117 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 1: it's gotten to beat the way too much. See, So 118 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:35,400 Speaker 1: now let's get into the letter. He started could complain 119 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:39,160 Speaker 1: about being meat, being too busy for him out back 120 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 1: work full time. I get home and I need a 121 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:44,480 Speaker 1: few minutes to chill and relax. But he's been in 122 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:48,240 Speaker 1: my driveway every day this week when I get home. 123 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:55,440 Speaker 1: Oh lord, he in the driveway. I'm talking. As soon 124 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:59,280 Speaker 1: as you get home, you can't chill you can't have 125 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 1: your own at you want to decompress. You've been at work, 126 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:12,320 Speaker 1: so now he's stalking and he sprung. He wants to 127 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:15,480 Speaker 1: be right up under me every night and keeps telling 128 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:21,200 Speaker 1: me he's afraid we're growing apart. That's another word. When 129 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 1: your man tells you he's afraid what woman wants a 130 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:34,200 Speaker 1: scary ass man. I'm afraid what he told me. He 131 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:39,319 Speaker 1: loved me when we were quarantined together because we were inseparable. Well, 132 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:46,440 Speaker 1: everybody was quarantine. Quarantine was very revealing though. You either 133 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:49,960 Speaker 1: found out you hated a person or you really enjoyed 134 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:54,840 Speaker 1: the person. But then there's also a middle ground. A 135 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,199 Speaker 1: lot of people said, well, be nice to get back 136 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 1: to work, so we can just separate from each other 137 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:01,559 Speaker 1: at least grow to miss each other. But I still 138 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:03,600 Speaker 1: love him and like him. I just don't like him 139 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:07,240 Speaker 1: as much all the time. You don't got tired of 140 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,400 Speaker 1: his ass. He didn't started bringing work clothes in your 141 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 1: house because he say it's too cold to go home 142 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:15,679 Speaker 1: every night, and he rather cuddle with me. This is 143 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 1: another dangerous statement. You got a man that loves to cuddle. Now, ladies, 144 00:09:21,559 --> 00:09:24,280 Speaker 1: I know you think cuddling is cute, but not all 145 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:29,600 Speaker 1: the time. And watch why watch this man loves to cuddle, 146 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:33,520 Speaker 1: whine and make love to me whenever we together. This 147 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:39,600 Speaker 1: is another scary ass combination. He liked to cuddle wine 148 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 1: and make love. What's making this this? Okay? So let 149 00:09:46,679 --> 00:09:48,280 Speaker 1: me try to work through this here because I ain't 150 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:50,000 Speaker 1: never done that, so it's gonna take me a minute. 151 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:55,280 Speaker 1: He likes to cuddle wine and make love. All right, 152 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,760 Speaker 1: here we go? All right, now we now we love it. 153 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:02,200 Speaker 1: We're in the actual act of love it. And in 154 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:16,440 Speaker 1: that act you hear it is? Now you you want 155 00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:19,079 Speaker 1: him to handle his business. But what is your ass 156 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:24,840 Speaker 1: crying fault? What is the wine? Now? We through making 157 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:29,640 Speaker 1: love and we threw wining. Now he coloring, But now 158 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:33,280 Speaker 1: you gotta come down off that crime. Right so now 159 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:41,160 Speaker 1: you're coloring? Then you hit this hill? Okay, what is happening? 160 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:46,920 Speaker 1: We are you? Okay? Well I'm coming down off the 161 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 1: whineing and I'm breathing home because I was we was 162 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:56,200 Speaker 1: loving because I'm sensitive and emotional. Do y'all see what 163 00:10:56,240 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 1: I'm going with this? Hire love? And then he literally 164 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:03,840 Speaker 1: lays on half your body until your limbs fall asleep 165 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,160 Speaker 1: and you got to roll him off of you. He 166 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,720 Speaker 1: say he can't sleep unless he touches some part of 167 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:12,520 Speaker 1: my body. Oh so now we talked about this. Where 168 00:11:12,559 --> 00:11:14,960 Speaker 1: therapy come in that? Now see it ain't no therapist. 169 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,079 Speaker 1: But I'm a judge now, so let me just tell 170 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 1: you what iut and figured out this here. Let him see, 171 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:24,160 Speaker 1: he used to either suck his thumb. He had a 172 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:30,559 Speaker 1: blanket or a teddy bell. He had all this and 173 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 1: that got burned up in his mama's house fire back 174 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:38,600 Speaker 1: in ninety four. All that got burned up, the blanket, 175 00:11:38,679 --> 00:11:42,360 Speaker 1: the teddy bell, and the pacified. All that got burned 176 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,480 Speaker 1: up in the house fire. So now he didn't met you. 177 00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 1: Now you it you the teddy bell, the blanket, and 178 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:59,360 Speaker 1: the Pacify. See, and now you told him y'all had 179 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,760 Speaker 1: a conversation about dialing it back a little bit, and 180 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:05,640 Speaker 1: he couldn't process the conversation. So gets what he did 181 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:10,960 Speaker 1: while you start, Tony, he started crying because he emotional assensitive. 182 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:15,720 Speaker 1: And then he told you he can't live without you. Well, 183 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 1: let's see see, once you tell me what you can't do, 184 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:25,080 Speaker 1: prove it, because you're finding live without me. Now I 185 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,360 Speaker 1: love this thing. Now here where the woman gets conflict. 186 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:30,040 Speaker 1: I love this type of attention and all the affection, 187 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:33,360 Speaker 1: but I'm afraid of falling too deeply for him because 188 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:38,040 Speaker 1: he may have emotional issues. May have girl may have 189 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:46,920 Speaker 1: emotional issues. Your ass is dating an Tony o'brown. Wonder 190 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:57,280 Speaker 1: his ass have emotional issues? Don't You're dating and Tony o'brown. 191 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:01,920 Speaker 1: Without the ball pad. On Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve 192 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:05,120 Speaker 1: Harvey FM and Instagram and Facebook, You're welcome. Check out 193 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:08,080 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on demand as well. Coming up at 194 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:10,840 Speaker 1: forty six minutes after the hour, Sports Talk with Junior. 195 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:14,760 Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning 196 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:15,079 Speaker 1: Show