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Speaker 1: Oh John, Oh, Sam, I love you so much. I

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Speaker 1: love you almost as much as the great stories that

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Speaker 1: are about to come up.

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Speaker 2: And you know what, I love equally as much as

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Speaker 2: the two minutes of sponsors coming up, because they support

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Speaker 2: the show and make sure that we will have our

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Speaker 2: happily ever after.

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Speaker 1: My in laws are pressuring me to meet my brother

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Speaker 1: in law's a fair partner.

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Speaker 2: I refused, Yeah, why would you want to meet in

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Speaker 2: a fair partner?

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Speaker 1: I thirty seven female, have been with my husband, Daniel

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Speaker 1: thirty seven male, for sixteen years. Daniel has a younger brother,

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Speaker 1: thirty five, let's call him James. James was married until

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Speaker 1: last year to Grace. It came out last year that

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Speaker 1: James had been having an affair with a woman from

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Speaker 1: work for three years, unbeknownst to anyone in the family.

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Speaker 1: And her name is Kelly, thirty five female. By the way,

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Speaker 1: this comes from user professional Face three eight eight and

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Speaker 1: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 1: the r slash Okay storytime suburdy. So, brother in law,

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Speaker 1: James and I have never been close. He was a

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Speaker 1: cocky teenager when I met my husband, and he was

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Speaker 1: rude to me. I stood up for myself, which he

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Speaker 1: wasn't used to the family just passed it off as

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Speaker 1: James being James and let his rudeness slide. This has

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Speaker 1: been an ongoing theme of enabling his bad behavior. Cut

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Speaker 1: now to twenty twenty three, James reports he is having

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Speaker 1: a mental health crisis and everyone is worried. It turns

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Speaker 1: out that he's living with the guilt of having this

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Speaker 1: affair with Kelly for the past three years. Dang, it's

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Speaker 1: worth mentioning that Daniel and James's parents met the same way.

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Speaker 1: They had an affair for two years before finally coming

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Speaker 1: clean and starting a life together.

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Speaker 2: That is relevant information.

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Speaker 1: Dude, I gotta say, I'm never telling my kids that

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Speaker 1: if that happens, that's the secret shame that we carry together.

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Speaker 1: Are you serious? Well, this story has been normalized within

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Speaker 1: the family. Godsiams has a well paying job in tech

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Speaker 1: and seems to think he's better than everyone else. He

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Speaker 1: seems to look down on Daniel and I considering he

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Speaker 1: thinks he's a very special and important person. He didn't

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Speaker 1: do a single thing for his divorce. His parents handled

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Speaker 1: everything for him, and he never spoke to his wife again.

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Speaker 1: After he confessed to the affair, even lying then that

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Speaker 1: he and Kelly were not together anymore, which isn't true.

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Speaker 1: What dreams. This is maybe a bit of a scumbag.

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Speaker 2: Okay, seems like a lot of scumbags in the story.

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Speaker 1: He and Grace had been trying for a baby and

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Speaker 1: having fertility tests for the last year of their marriage,

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Speaker 1: even though he was cheating all that time with Kelly.

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Speaker 1: He never went back to the house he shared with Grace.

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Speaker 1: His parents did it all for him while he was

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Speaker 1: on holiday with Kelly, disguised as a work trip. Dude, dude,

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Speaker 1: this is terrible. The scum doesn't scum seep far from

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Speaker 1: the tepid pond that spon. He's Louise.

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Speaker 3: And they're accepting of him. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, because they did it.

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Speaker 3: That's so cool.

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Speaker 1: They're like, that's my boy, like that, you know, that's

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Speaker 1: my boy.

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Speaker 2: You know how ghost if you can't you know, if

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Speaker 2: you don't get her.

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Speaker 1: Right in the first time, never let your girlfriend keep

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Speaker 1: you from finding your wife.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I guarantee you say that. They said like, oh,

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Speaker 4: boys will be boys, and.

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Speaker 1: It seems like their whole approach. No, this is whack.

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Speaker 1: A few months ago we had invited James to our

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Speaker 1: house along with Daniel and James's older sister and her

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Speaker 1: teenage children. James tried to bring Kelly along without confirming

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Speaker 1: this with anyone, let alone me, who had extended the

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Speaker 1: invite to James in the first place, against my better judgment.

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Speaker 1: I'm also heavily pregnant and have had a rough pregnancy,

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Speaker 1: so found a weekend for hosting hard Anyway, when I

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Speaker 1: found out he had brought her along to a hotel

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Speaker 1: with the intention of meeting us without telling anyone until

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Speaker 1: the night before, I refused to meet her. Kelly is

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Speaker 1: still married, living with her husband and two children, and

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Speaker 1: told her family about her affair.

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Speaker 2: Ah, what is going on?

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Speaker 1: Who are these people?

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Speaker 2: Say on? Scumbags?

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Speaker 1: Oh, my god, come on down to Dirty Dean's scumbags store.

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Speaker 1: We got a we got a big old sale. We

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Speaker 1: got a whole family of scumbags, or at least partial scumbags.

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Speaker 2: You can fit all sorts of choosing these scumbags.

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Speaker 1: You could fit all the organs and blocks in the

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Speaker 1: seat and also seat cheating home. My goodness. I refuse

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Speaker 1: to be complicit in the web of lies because I

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Speaker 1: would not want someone to treat me that way. This

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Speaker 1: hasn't been a one night's standing mistake. They've been having

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Speaker 1: this affair since twenty twenty and her husband doesn't know.

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Speaker 1: My phone starts blowing up with messages from Daniel in

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Speaker 1: James's mom saying I'm being unreasonable, I'm causing problems in

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Speaker 1: the family and Kelly's part of the family now, and

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Speaker 1: I need to get over it. Mother in law even

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Speaker 1: offered to pay for me to have therapy to accept

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Speaker 1: this situation. I was livid. I was not raised that

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Speaker 1: way where this behavior is encouraged and enabled. Since then,

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Speaker 1: things have been awkward in the family. I would quite

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Speaker 1: happily never have anything to do with James ever again,

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Speaker 1: but I know that's not going to be possible. Also

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Speaker 1: to say, James has never been faithful in any relationship

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Speaker 1: he has ever been in. He gave his wife Jenital Wartz,

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Speaker 1: lying that they were skin tags. He did bad things

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Speaker 1: enduring intimacy without consent, and he talks down to people.

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Speaker 1: He's arrogant, blah blah blah. He's been engaged before, and

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Speaker 1: she caught him on swinging websites, having sent a noodle

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Speaker 1: photo of her to another woman without his fiance's consent. Wow?

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Speaker 1: Can we upgrade scumbag to irredeemable monster? Like go to jail? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like actually committing crimes? Going to jail. Please, go to jail,

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Speaker 1: Go to jail. Please?

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Speaker 2: Thank you, Ring ring ring, it's jail. We're here to

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Speaker 2: pick you up.

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Speaker 1: Hey, you're going straight to jail. Wow. I just don't

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Speaker 1: think he's a good person, good instincts? Ope, what gotcha

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Speaker 1: to there? And I don't want to be forced into

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Speaker 1: accepting what he has done. And this new woman in

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Speaker 1: his life, whose poor husband still doesn't know what's been

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Speaker 1: going on? Am I the a hole for refusing to

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Speaker 1: meet her? I said I would meet her once she

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Speaker 1: is separated from her husband and once he knows that

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Speaker 1: she is with someone, even if they don't come clean

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Speaker 1: about the affair and standing my ground about this? Should

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Speaker 1: I be more accepting like my in laws? Or are

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Speaker 1: they being the strange ones in this scenario? There's an update.

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Speaker 2: You shouldn't even be around these people? Yeah, like cut

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Speaker 2: them out of your life, dude, these are crazy people.

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Speaker 1: You being the a hole in this situation would be

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Speaker 1: the most absurd take anyone could ever have. You don't

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Speaker 1: want to support of like home wrecking a family. Please,

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Speaker 1: that's that? What is bad about that? Please get them

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Speaker 1: out of your life forever. James leaving a comment under

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Speaker 1: here being like, Yeah, you would totally be the a

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Speaker 1: hole and uh, don't ever do that, and don't James wife,

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Speaker 1: James sounds really cool and hot. Yeah, anyway, let's get

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Speaker 1: into the update. I initially felt offended when people describe

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Speaker 1: Daniel as cowardly, but honestly, I think you're right. He

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Speaker 1: had been the golden boy growing up, as he nearly

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Speaker 1: passed away as a small child, and he was their

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Speaker 1: miracle son who survived. James was always a more difficult

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Speaker 1: temperament child. He was overweight and bullied at school, struggled academically,

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Speaker 1: et cetera. So he has a bit of a chip

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Speaker 1: on his shoulder that has now developed into what I

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Speaker 1: feel are traits of narcissism. Daniel found it hard to

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Speaker 1: stand up to James, but I'm proud of him for

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Speaker 1: taking that step. He also stood up to their mom,

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Speaker 1: telling her to leave me alone and drop it when

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Speaker 1: she kept messaging me and trying to talk to me

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Speaker 1: about it. Maybe it's too little, too late, but I'm

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Speaker 1: glad he's finally done it. I hope he continues to

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Speaker 1: stand up to them, and I will support and encourage

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Speaker 1: him to keep doing so. And to say that's too little,

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Speaker 1: too late, I don't know. To say it's too little

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Speaker 1: too late, and have never had a conversation or discussion

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Speaker 1: about that behavior, it feels a little extra to me. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's like these comments just made you realize, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I guess I do think that, and I are like, he,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe he can come back. It's like,

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Speaker 1: let's have one conversation. Yeah, yes, have our own thoughts

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Speaker 1: first before people think for us. I'm genuinely worried about

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Speaker 1: telling Kelly's husband, as I don't feel one hundred percent

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Speaker 1: confident that my involvement couldn't be traced. I only know

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Speaker 1: his name and the county he lives in. I do

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Speaker 1: not know his address, phone number, or email. If I

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Speaker 1: could obtain those details and be totally certain it wouldn't

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Speaker 1: be traced to me, then I would tell him. However,

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Speaker 1: I know my husband would be devastated if I was

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Speaker 1: caught doing so, as it would cut us off from

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Speaker 1: the family completely. I wouldn't have an issue with being

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Speaker 1: low or no contact, but I wouldn't want to hurt

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Speaker 1: him like that. You may not agree with that, but

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Speaker 1: that's the situation. And by the way, you have a

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Speaker 1: situation where you can listen to full episodes with stories

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Speaker 1: like this. Just go to iHeartRadio or Apple Podcasts or

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Speaker 1: Spotify or wherever you listen and search. Okay, story time

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Speaker 1: and then the world is your oyster. Yeah, so we

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Speaker 1: do have a little bit more story left. Do you

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Speaker 1: have any thoughts on the situation?

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Speaker 4: Lord?

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Speaker 2: I think you do have a conversation with your husband

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Speaker 2: and get on the same page, because if you're not

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Speaker 2: in the same page, then the relationship.

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Speaker 1: Is not going to work.

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Speaker 2: And right now it seems like you want to tell

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Speaker 2: the truth to Rachel.

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Speaker 1: What's her name?

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Speaker 3: Rachel?

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Speaker 1: Kelly is the Kell partner.

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Speaker 2: No wait, no, who was the last name just mentioned?

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Speaker 1: Jesus page again. Kelly is the one whose family does

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Speaker 1: not know she's not any affair.

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Speaker 2: Yeah anyway, Ah, Like, you should talk to your husband

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Speaker 2: and figure out what he thinks, because if you completely

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Speaker 2: disagree with his take on it, then maybe this relationship

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Speaker 2: you know, won't work out in the long run, but

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Speaker 2: you won't know until you talk to him.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you should definitely be like, so would you support

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Speaker 1: you cheating on me? Yeah? So why are we supporting

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Speaker 1: your brother like home wrecking this woman's family.

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Speaker 4: I guarantee you the responsible. Be like, and it's different, different,

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Speaker 4: I don't know, man, it's how he is.

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Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, maybe don't don't just take that for

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Speaker 1: what it is and be like, I demand my family

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Speaker 1: to have better morals if they want to see me.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. You're ruining children. There's children involved in exactly.

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Speaker 4: Everyone's involved, it seems like, but it seems like nobody's

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Speaker 4: doing anything about it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Crazy, Yeah, not a person. So some people have

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Speaker 1: asked about why I'm so upset about this, and I'm

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Speaker 1: not so sure there is one particular answer. I think

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Speaker 1: I'm a very loyal person, so lies and cheating don't

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Speaker 1: sit well with me. I've also had a very strong

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Speaker 1: physical reaction to this as well. When I hear about them,

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Speaker 1: my heart races and I feel like my blood is boiling.

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Speaker 1: I feel angry and sick and sad all at once.

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Speaker 1: I also think how I would feel if Daniel treated

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Speaker 1: me this way, how I would feel taken for a fool.

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Speaker 1: With people going along with this, there's a sense of

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Speaker 1: injustice that they aren't being held accountable for their actions.

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Speaker 1: They aren't having to face any significant consequences of their

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Speaker 1: actions at this time, and that feels wrong to me.

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Speaker 1: And there are some comments here, I mean, are you narking,

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Speaker 1: I'm narking. I'm narking. I'm narking. If I'm open, I'm

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Speaker 1: absolutely narking.

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Speaker 2: This is someone that like, maybe I don't have a

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Speaker 2: super close relationship too, but it is in my circle

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Speaker 2: of you know, people that I know. I absolutely would

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Speaker 2: feel a sense of responsibility to tell this, like women

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Speaker 2: or this husband.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and then if the family cuts off your husband

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Speaker 1: for that, that's not on you, that's on them. And

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Speaker 1: if your husband can't see that, then honestly, like I

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Speaker 1: don't know, he's been brainwashed, and I don't know if

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Speaker 1: you'd want to be with him.

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Speaker 4: In the wise words of Aaron Paul's character Jesse in

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Speaker 4: Breaking Bad, he can't keep getting away with this, he can't.

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Speaker 1: Keep getting away with us. He get get wait way

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Speaker 1: away with this. But let's finish this, all right. We

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Speaker 1: got some comments here. Stand by your morals. You don't

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Speaker 1: say what your husband's stance is, but this is not

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Speaker 1: your circus. It's your house. You don't have to invite

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Speaker 1: the clowns in hope, He replies. My husband is very

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Speaker 1: much a peacemaker. He doesn't agree with James's choice, and

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Speaker 1: he messaged him after that weekend to say his actions

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Speaker 1: were out of order. He needs to understand that not

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Speaker 1: everyone is going to be accepting, and also that he's

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Speaker 1: not been a good brother. He has never stood up

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Speaker 1: to him before, so I was so proud of him

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Speaker 1: for doing that. He messaged rather than in person, as

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Speaker 1: we don't live near each other, which suits me just fine.

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Speaker 1: He did lose a pregnancy last year and I was

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Speaker 1: still recovering when I was packing up things at the

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Speaker 1: in laws that brother in law could harm himself with.

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Speaker 1: As he was saying he wanted to do his self

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Speaker 1: harm before he confessed to the affair. He didn't acknowledge

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Speaker 1: our loss last year. He hasn't even asked my husband

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Speaker 1: how we are, how the pregnancy is going, And in

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Speaker 1: my eyes, he's just so selfish. He only talks about himself,

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Speaker 1: and I'm glad my husband finally called him out on it.

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Speaker 1: Another reply, laugh at James, he went running to mommy

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Speaker 1: that you didn't want his married girlfriend at your house.

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Speaker 1: He's a joke. Comment too, I would be getting her

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Speaker 1: husband's details and sending him an anonymous message with the

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Speaker 1: full details of her affair and James's details and address

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Speaker 1: and phone number. Okay, I don't know if I would

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Speaker 1: do that part, but I would definitely be like, hey,

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Speaker 1: your wife's cheating on you. That should be enough to

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Speaker 1: keep that philandering family busy so they stop annoying me. Oh,

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Speaker 1: he replied. I know his name and the area he

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Speaker 1: lives in, but as brother in law works in tech

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Speaker 1: and has lots of police friends, I would be worried

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Speaker 1: it would be traced back to me. If I could

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Speaker 1: find a fully anonymous way to do it, then I would.

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Speaker 1: The ex wife considered it, but once the divorce was through,

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Speaker 1: she just wanted to be done with it all and

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Speaker 1: have nothing to do with any of them. Smart woman.

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Speaker 1: Comment three, Are you worried about your husband? It seems

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Speaker 1: the whole family is built on lies, adultry, and betrayal. Oh,

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Speaker 1: he replies, I've had paranoid moments, as he's the only

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Speaker 1: one in the family so far that hasn't done the

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Speaker 1: dirty deed. His parents met through an affair. His brother

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Speaker 1: has never been one hundred percent faithful and there was

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Speaker 1: a rumor that the sister had a night with a

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Speaker 1: man from work, but that's not been confirmed. I said

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Speaker 1: to husband, I feel like I'm waiting for it to

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Speaker 1: be my turn. But then he gets upset, which I understand,

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Speaker 1: as he hasn't done anything to make me not trust him.

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Speaker 1: But it's the but hold on he.

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Speaker 2: Has though, because it it is obviously much like it

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Speaker 2: is much more of a betrayal if he had cheated

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Speaker 2: or like, had been cheating on you or having an affair.

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Speaker 2: But he's showing that that he is okay with letting

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Speaker 2: what happen, right, that is also a testament of his

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Speaker 2: morals and you know where his mind is.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, getting defensive about that and not understanding why she

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Speaker 1: would think that is such a huge red flag to me.

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Speaker 1: In fact, it makes me think that maybe you are

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Speaker 1: being adulterous.

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Speaker 2: It would be different if it was like the family

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Speaker 2: was all cheating and he was like, yeah, my family

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Speaker 2: is like, you know, a bunch of cheaters. I don't

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Speaker 2: associate with them, like I don't know what they're up to,

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Speaker 2: Like I stopped talking to them. And it's like if

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Speaker 2: OP was mad about that and being like Oh your

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Speaker 2: family are cheaters, then you must.

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Speaker 1: Be a cheater.

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Speaker 2: It wouldn't make any sense. But here we have him

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Speaker 2: actively associating, actively covering for them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you've sent one text message to your brother

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Speaker 1: being like, you know what, you're out of line. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It's like, I don't know, dude, either way, I'm just

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Speaker 1: emotional at the moment being so close to having a baby.

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Speaker 1: You're not. And there's the end of that story. That

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Speaker 1: is the end of that story. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: mean huge red flag that the husband doesn't immediately go

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Speaker 1: I I know what that looks like, and I can

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Speaker 1: understand why you'd be concerned, but you have nothing to

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Speaker 1: worry about. Instead, he's like, how dare you see that?

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Speaker 2: Now?

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Speaker 1: It's like, oh, now I'm the bad guy. Yes, my,

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Speaker 1: my guy, you're you're the back. I mean, you gotta

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Speaker 1: give me something.

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Speaker 2: If the if the scumbag fits on your shoulder, have.

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Speaker 3: You had it? I knew you were going somewhere with that.

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Speaker 2: Well was it said the shoe fits, But then I

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Speaker 2: was like, let's come back.

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Speaker 1: If the scum fits. I don't know, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I'm just workshopping things, throwing things at the thrown throwing

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Speaker 2: things at the wall, seat with sticks.

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Speaker 1: Throwing some spaghetti at the wall. Seven if it's al dente, Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 2: My husband cheated on me multiple times, but he made

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Speaker 2: up for it by providing me with a lavish lifestyle.

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Speaker 1: I mean, to each their own.

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Speaker 2: I am a fifty four year old man who loves men,

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Speaker 2: and I've been married to my husband for over ten years,

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Speaker 2: but we have been together for twenty five years total.

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Speaker 2: I have been a devoted husband for the whole time.

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Speaker 2: Not once have I wanted to be with anybody else

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Speaker 2: but him. To keep everything a bit private, I'm going

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Speaker 2: to use fake names here.

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Speaker 1: Let's call my husband Rick. All right Morty.

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Speaker 2: Oh. By the way, this comes from Physical one Hitter

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Speaker 2: sixteen seventy three. And if you want to smit your

346
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:38,800
Speaker 2: own stories, go to our slash jokey storytime Subredette. So

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Speaker 2: when I met Rick, I was twenty nine years old.

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Speaker 2: I've always been quite thin and well. Rick was not

349
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Speaker 2: a bad looking guy, but he was a bit overweight

350
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Speaker 2: when we met. But someone who has always tried to

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Speaker 2: eat and stay healthy. I have never been someone who's

352
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Speaker 2: ever fallen for somebody simply because they're good looking, though

353
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Speaker 2: I have always looked the whole individual, the right personality,

354
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Speaker 2: and how they presented themselves. I fell for Rick because

355
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Speaker 2: I truly liked him, and he pursued me like a

356
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Speaker 2: hawk and would not let it up. I fell for

357
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Speaker 2: this and the fact that he was genuinely a very nice,

358
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Speaker 2: charismatic guy. We both adore dogs and have five dogs

359
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Speaker 2: of our own. We love doing rescue and have devoted

360
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Speaker 2: a big portion of our free time to rescue operations

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Speaker 2: and making sure other dogs have a chance at a

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Speaker 2: good life.

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Speaker 1: We both do.

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Speaker 2: Very well financially. We have paid off the mortgage and

365
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Speaker 2: have a very decent amount in our retirement accounts. We

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Speaker 2: both still work full time jobs. I'm a computer programmer

367
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Speaker 2: and he works in the journalist entertainment industry. Rick's job

368
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:40,359
Speaker 2: requires him to travel to different destinations all around the world.

369
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Speaker 2: Expenses are always paid for, so we can be gone

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Speaker 2: for sometimes a couple of weeks a month.

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Speaker 1: Oh dang.

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Speaker 2: About ten years ago, I discovered a profile on a

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Speaker 2: love Me a men loving men dating site that Rick

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Speaker 2: had created.

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Speaker 1: That he had created.

376
00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,000
Speaker 2: Oh, I thought he had created the website for a second,

377
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,439
Speaker 2: I was like, I did.

378
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,320
Speaker 1: A homosexual dating happen?

379
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:07,199
Speaker 2: When I approached him regarding this. He mentioned that it

380
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,960
Speaker 2: was only used at the time for a promotional stunt,

381
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:13,600
Speaker 2: that he would never meet anybody. He reassured me that

382
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:16,119
Speaker 2: he is not interested in being with anyone except me.

383
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,320
Speaker 2: I dropped the subject and never spoke of this again.

384
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,639
Speaker 2: During the years, we have been through quite a bit together.

385
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,320
Speaker 2: I was a big mama's boy. My mom was super

386
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:28,000
Speaker 2: cool and accepted Rick and considered him part of the family.

387
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,520
Speaker 2: I talked to my mother each day and we had

388
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,640
Speaker 2: an amazing mom and son relationship. In two thousand and seven,

389
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:36,000
Speaker 2: my mother came to my house for a visit and

390
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,639
Speaker 2: delivered devastating news that she had just been to the

391
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,760
Speaker 2: doctor because she was not feeling well. The doctor had

392
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,639
Speaker 2: let my mother know that she only had two years

393
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Speaker 2: to live, but I lost my mom three months later

394
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Speaker 2: in two thousand and eight.

395
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Speaker 1: Oh uh, doc, Can you sue that doctor for being

396
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:58,200
Speaker 1: so wrong?

397
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:03,040
Speaker 2: That's so sad. This was one of the hardest things

398
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,320
Speaker 2: I have ever been through. My father had called me

399
00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:07,880
Speaker 2: at three am that my mom was not doing well

400
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:09,920
Speaker 2: and asked me to get to the hospital quickly because

401
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:12,840
Speaker 2: she was getting ready to cross over. Rick had an

402
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:14,840
Speaker 2: event that was scheduled the next morning and was leading

403
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,960
Speaker 2: on a flight a week's trip. When I was getting

404
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,160
Speaker 2: ready to go to the hospital, he asked me if

405
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,760
Speaker 2: I wanted him to be there. Of course I did,

406
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:25,360
Speaker 2: but instead he said it won't change anything, and if

407
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,880
Speaker 2: he stayed, it would most likely be that she would survive,

408
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,439
Speaker 2: and then he would have canceled the event for no reason.

409
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:38,240
Speaker 1: Okay, that's very cold. That's exceptionally cold. I need a sweater.

410
00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:39,200
Speaker 1: That's so cool.

411
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:45,080
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you monster. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Your

412
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:49,679
Speaker 2: partner just told you. Your partner of like seemingly, you know,

413
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:54,720
Speaker 2: many many years, just told you that their mom is

414
00:20:55,200 --> 00:21:00,199
Speaker 2: on her like passing away bed, very very ill, not

415
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,600
Speaker 2: make it through the night, and needs regardless of whether

416
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:07,840
Speaker 2: or not she makes it, you should be there. You

417
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:09,560
Speaker 2: should absolutely be there.

418
00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,399
Speaker 1: If you cared. Yeah, if you cared so she doesn't.

419
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,200
Speaker 1: Sounds like this person doesn't care.

420
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:16,320
Speaker 2: At the time, I guess I see his law. I

421
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:18,800
Speaker 2: guess I saw his logic, but was also so overwhelmed

422
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 2: with emotion I just did not want to push the situation,

423
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,280
Speaker 2: so I let it go. By the time I got

424
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,960
Speaker 2: to the hospital, my mom had already passed away, so

425
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,080
Speaker 2: one of the most difficult times of my life, and

426
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:32,680
Speaker 2: I was alone and heartbroken. My fault for not taking

427
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 2: this is a sign of things to come. With Rick

428
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:38,119
Speaker 2: becoming distant towards me, I mean, yeah, that should have

429
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:41,720
Speaker 2: been a huge, blazing red sign.

430
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Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm starting to feel like my whole to each

431
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,840
Speaker 1: their own take is not applicable in this situation. You're

432
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,960
Speaker 1: just in a long term relationship with someone who doesn't

433
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:51,520
Speaker 1: value you as a human. Yeah.

434
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:54,760
Speaker 2: Uh, Now, when someone passes, you would think the other

435
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 2: partner would be there for comfort. Well, that did not happen.

436
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 2: Not saying he did not. He was sorry, but I

437
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,439
Speaker 2: feel like I wasn't allowed to be sad. When I

438
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,560
Speaker 2: say he became distant, well, I mean there was no

439
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:11,040
Speaker 2: intimacy for months, and I was becoming suspicious. One particular day,

440
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,359
Speaker 2: Rick asked me to look something up, so I grabbed

441
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:15,920
Speaker 2: his phone. I do not have anything to hide, nor

442
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,920
Speaker 2: should he. Well, my first sign something was a bit

443
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,719
Speaker 2: off when I saw that his phone was locked. He

444
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:24,919
Speaker 2: grabbed his phone and said, use your own. Okay. I

445
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:26,000
Speaker 2: thought that was strange.

446
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:27,720
Speaker 1: My minutes are low now.

447
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,600
Speaker 2: I do not want to brag, but I am pretty

448
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,640
Speaker 2: good when it comes to technology, I know my way

449
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,359
Speaker 2: around a computer in a way that I do have

450
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,760
Speaker 2: an advantage over your normal typical user.

451
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:41,639
Speaker 1: He's like, I'm a bit of a hacker and I

452
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:42,720
Speaker 1: used filefox.

453
00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:46,960
Speaker 2: So that move got me super curious and caught me

454
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:50,280
Speaker 2: completely off guard. So the next time he left his

455
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,680
Speaker 2: phone laying around, which I found he was being super

456
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:55,439
Speaker 2: careful not to do this, I took the opportunity to

457
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,320
Speaker 2: give my first attempt a try bingo.

458
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:00,400
Speaker 1: I was in sixteen six nine.

459
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:06,159
Speaker 2: Immediately I found that he installed a dating app. He

460
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:08,359
Speaker 2: was hooking up with the random guys on his trip

461
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:13,600
Speaker 2: and having spicy encounters. This really took me off guard.

462
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 2: My heart literally dropped. You are never prepared to find

463
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 2: concrete proof that your partner is cheating. It's like ripping

464
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,320
Speaker 2: a deep hole in your guts. Anyways, I took my

465
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:25,800
Speaker 2: time processing this for a few days, and then I

466
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 2: confronted him about this.

467
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 1: Wow, so this is not the context I thought was

468
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 1: going to be presented to us based on the title.

469
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:35,560
Speaker 1: Based on the title, it sounded like we talked and

470
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 1: I let him, you know, sleep around, but I love

471
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 1: the new sports car. No, that's not what.

472
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,840
Speaker 2: He is being cheated on and this person is terrible.

473
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,400
Speaker 2: He said it was my fault because I had become

474
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:49,879
Speaker 2: difficult to be around and I was moody because they

475
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:54,560
Speaker 2: just lost their mother, and that I pushed him to

476
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,679
Speaker 2: do this, and also it seems like it was happening before.

477
00:23:57,880 --> 00:23:58,880
Speaker 1: What the heck?

478
00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:02,240
Speaker 2: I did not know to comprehend his comment. He definitely

479
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 2: has a way of selling his statements and making you

480
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:08,720
Speaker 2: question things. Okay, I sat down and took some time

481
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 2: with this new information, and we both decided that we

482
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:17,879
Speaker 2: can work through this together. Why Why did we decide that.

483
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:22,200
Speaker 1: Money sunk cost fallacy comfort in a moment where it's

484
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 1: like your whole world is already falling around you, So

485
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,880
Speaker 1: it's the one thing you already know for a long time.

486
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:28,679
Speaker 1: I understand that.

487
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 2: But it's like, this man's not even giving you comfort. No,

488
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:32,119
Speaker 2: he's giving you nothing.

489
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:35,640
Speaker 1: He's give me if anything's gonna be the opposite of that, Yeah,

490
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:37,520
Speaker 1: he's actively distressing you.

491
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 2: Option one, let's make this an open relationship, then we

492
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:45,919
Speaker 2: can both cheat. Not that I had any desire to

493
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:47,959
Speaker 2: do this, but thought I would make this easy.

494
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 3: Option one, that's a terrible.

495
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:53,920
Speaker 2: Option Option two, let's stop and rethink everything and start anew.

496
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,399
Speaker 2: She chose option two because he does not like the

497
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:57,840
Speaker 2: idea of it being open for me.

498
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:02,040
Speaker 1: Why dude, you leave now, now you leave? You leave?

499
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:04,240
Speaker 4: Oh, I don't like you going out there, but I've

500
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,680
Speaker 4: been cheating on you, so like, no again.

501
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:09,320
Speaker 2: Not going to toot my own horn, but I've been

502
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 2: told that I'm a pretty decent looking guy. I've always

503
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,920
Speaker 2: kept myself slim and really take good care of myself,

504
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:16,640
Speaker 2: so I think it freaked him out that I even

505
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:20,119
Speaker 2: offered option one. So option two it was. I know

506
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:22,800
Speaker 2: I am very trustworthy and like to take people's words

507
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:25,399
Speaker 2: a word when they say they are going to do something.

508
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:28,120
Speaker 2: I think this is one of my personality faults. He said.

509
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 2: He deleted the dating apps plural. I guess there was

510
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:32,360
Speaker 2: more than one.

511
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 1: Oops you told on yourself, buddies. Yikes.

512
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:41,280
Speaker 2: Anyways, let's fast forward some years later. Things never really recovered,

513
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 2: mainly because it kind of groased me out that he

514
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:46,119
Speaker 2: was sleeping with other guys, and honestly, I wanted him

515
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 2: to win me back, but to me, it felt like

516
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:49,879
Speaker 2: he was trying to turn the tables on me winning

517
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:55,639
Speaker 2: him back. WTF. Years Anyways, this was not going to

518
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:58,879
Speaker 2: happen years past, and things are progressing as well as

519
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 2: it could be, and we again have some good and

520
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:04,480
Speaker 2: bad times your years past.

521
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:06,639
Speaker 1: What what are we doing?

522
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:11,080
Speaker 2: My father passed away in May of twenty twenty one

523
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:13,120
Speaker 2: after a long battle with brain disease.

524
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:16,639
Speaker 1: And let me guess your partner was like he deserved

525
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:18,120
Speaker 1: it or something.

526
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:21,080
Speaker 3: Why are you being so moody? I'm gonna go cheat

527
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:21,280
Speaker 3: on you.

528
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 2: Ude, dude, fourteen years yeh.

529
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:28,400
Speaker 3: Here's twenty dollars for lunch. Yeah.

530
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 2: I have been spending a lot of time with my

531
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:32,359
Speaker 2: father and working from his house with my current job.

532
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 2: This was another avenue that challenged me in many ways.

533
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,520
Speaker 2: But Rick did stand by me on this one and

534
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,159
Speaker 2: was helping when he got the chance and when I

535
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:43,360
Speaker 2: asked for help. This was a welcoming change. Things were

536
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:46,160
Speaker 2: going really well. One day Rick left his phone out

537
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 2: he was busy playing a video game, and well, you

538
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 2: guessed it. I just could not out myself. I immediately

539
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:56,440
Speaker 2: found myself curious, dude again, if we are having to

540
00:26:56,560 --> 00:27:00,639
Speaker 2: check our partner's phones, the relationship isn't working. We know

541
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 2: the relationship isn't working. You found proof that isn't working.

542
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 1: You're gonna give me another bruise on my alley, believe

543
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:09,120
Speaker 1: it's over.

544
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:16,120
Speaker 2: For ever or I grabbed his phone and immediately again

545
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 2: was able to break in. Okay, caught again. Now I

546
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:23,720
Speaker 2: have caught him multiple times. I actually do love him

547
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:25,440
Speaker 2: and care for him. But now I'm lost.

548
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:28,560
Speaker 1: No, you're not. You're not lost. You know what to do.

549
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:30,960
Speaker 1: You know in your heart what you gotta do. You

550
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 1: just don't want to do it because.

551
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 2: It's a Sometimes like I'm talking to friends or like

552
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 2: talking to people and they're like, oh, I don't know

553
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:37,639
Speaker 2: what to do. I don't know what to do, Like

554
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 2: I'm so mixed inside. I'm like, no, no, no, you do

555
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:41,359
Speaker 2: know what to do. You just don't want to do it.

556
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're afraid, and it's natural, it's very natural. And

557
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:44,760
Speaker 1: gets afraid.

558
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:47,879
Speaker 3: What's the kylo Ren thing? He's like, I have to do,

559
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 3: but I don't think I have the strength to do it.

560
00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:53,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. I feel so alone and lost. I have

561
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:57,159
Speaker 2: nobody to turn to. My brother lives quite far away.

562
00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:59,680
Speaker 2: The only family I have near is my niece and nephews,

563
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:01,000
Speaker 2: and honestly, they all think.

564
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 1: Highly of Rick. Well I'm sure they won't think highly

565
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 1: of Rick if you let them know what's been going on.

566
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 2: I know they would believe me, but this adds so

567
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 2: much drama to my life, and honestly, drama takes a toll.

568
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,400
Speaker 2: You already have drama in your life, your partner keeps

569
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:15,080
Speaker 2: cheating on.

570
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,160
Speaker 1: You, and drama for this whole.

571
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 2: Time, freaking fourteen years, you've.

572
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:24,360
Speaker 1: Been playing the Oh, you've been gaming each other, like

573
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:27,119
Speaker 1: being like you gotta win me back. No, you have

574
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:30,200
Speaker 1: to win me back. Little sad boy, a little sad

575
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:33,680
Speaker 1: boy because your mom like suddenly tragically passed away. A

576
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:35,040
Speaker 1: little sad, little sad sack.

577
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:38,480
Speaker 2: I don't want drama, but then again, how can I

578
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 2: avoid it? I am inserting one thing here?

579
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:41,480
Speaker 1: Huh.

580
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,720
Speaker 2: Before this last section there was a significant development. Rick

581
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:48,680
Speaker 2: had started taking a weight loss substance and had lost

582
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:50,240
Speaker 2: a considerable amount of weight.

583
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:53,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, it starts with Oh, he looks really good.

584
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:55,960
Speaker 2: And although I have always been attracted to him emotionally,

585
00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 2: now I can honestly say I am also physically attracted

586
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 2: to him. Dude, you just told us that you are

587
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 2: physically attractive. Dude, go find other people. I'm sure there's

588
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:10,520
Speaker 2: tons of people that would want to date you. Though,

589
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:14,000
Speaker 2: one freaking cheat on you, although I am still quite

590
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:15,760
Speaker 2: a bit grossed out with the fact that he has

591
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 2: been with other guys and is a cheater. I know

592
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,160
Speaker 2: Rick does truly care about me. No, he doesn't. He

593
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 2: provides me with a very lucrative lifestyle. I get to

594
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 2: literally drive a new car every week. He's thoughtful and kind.

595
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:29,600
Speaker 2: No he isn't, and does give me a nice live

596
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 2: style one that I know would be much different without him.

597
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 2: The one thing I am missing is affection and the

598
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 2: physical part, which kind of sucks. So you know, the

599
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 2: relationship part.

600
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, the whole part of that, where you're in a

601
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 1: relationship with somebody is what you're missing.

602
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 2: I always thought, being into men, I would never have

603
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:48,120
Speaker 2: to worry about those things. Here is a punter for you.

604
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 4: Um.

605
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 2: There was another episode of an uber driver that found

606
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 2: out the person she picked up was cheating and drove

607
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:57,000
Speaker 2: him and his mistress to the cheating husband's house. Something

608
00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:00,480
Speaker 2: to that effect. M Rick got defence and said it

609
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 2: was not the uber driver's business and the driver should

610
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 2: have stayed out of it. I did not agree with

611
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 2: this remark, and ever since, he has always not liked it.

612
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 2: When I tune in to watch these videos.

613
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:13,560
Speaker 1: So serious place.

614
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 2: Where it has been crossing my mind lately to just

615
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,440
Speaker 2: install a dating app and put myself out there and

616
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:23,480
Speaker 2: just start my own side relationship. But when I say

617
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 2: I hate drama, I really do mean I hate drama. Dude,

618
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 2: it doesn't seem like you hate drama. It just seems

619
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 2: like you like being rich.

620
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying.

621
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 1: Money. Yes, that's true. And guess what, Ezekiel, I'm about

622
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,120
Speaker 1: to cloll you out because you just made a comment

623
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 1: that was quoting Jurassic Park. And she doesn't say Lennox,

624
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:44,680
Speaker 1: she says Eunix. Stop saying I hate dogs. Okay, sorry,

625
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 1: I had to say it.

626
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 2: So here I am writing. Maybe I'm doing this just

627
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 2: to really stress and frustration, or maybe seeing how many

628
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,360
Speaker 2: people call me stupid for staying in such a one

629
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:59,920
Speaker 2: sided relationship. But it's never a one side or relationship.

630
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,480
Speaker 2: If you listen to full episodes of stories just like this, right,

631
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 2: just go to Spotify, Apple Podcast or iHeart Radio and

632
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 2: search a Okay story time.

633
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 1: Hey it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.

634
00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

635
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,080
Speaker 2: There's true a wee bit left to the story.

636
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,440
Speaker 1: But uh, any any, I don't know if I would

637
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 1: say that you're stupid, like you're just a victim of

638
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 1: this relationship and of this guy who I guess was

639
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 1: so charismatic that he put like a spell upon you.

640
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 2: Literally rich You're like, you know, I'm comfortable in.

641
00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 1: This limit drive a new car every week? Why? Who does? Why? Though? Why? Op? Yeah?

642
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:45,360
Speaker 2: Why do you need to drive a new Why is

643
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 2: that a draw?

644
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 1: If somethings like, hey, I'm gonna cheat on you but

645
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 1: for me, but for somebody else.

646
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 2: Don't worry, You're gonna get to drive.

647
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:57,280
Speaker 3: A new weird for me. It's just like I want

648
00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 3: to drive.

649
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 2: One car for my life. I don't want to ever

650
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:04,160
Speaker 2: have to drive a new car. Really, I if my

651
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 2: priests could stay in the same condition for the rest

652
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:10,000
Speaker 2: of my life, I would just drive.

653
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 1: That one forever. Well when you know, you know, yeah,

654
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,640
Speaker 1: I don't think I didn't hear anything that was anywhere

655
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:22,440
Speaker 1: close to being uh you know, equaling the scales here on,

656
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 1: Like you, what's an acceptable amount of luxury to tolerate

657
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 1: this treatment?

658
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:33,680
Speaker 4: What the husband's doing is here, here's a shiny new

659
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,160
Speaker 4: toy that'll distract you for a little bit. And apparently,

660
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:40,240
Speaker 4: and you're to be happy. It's gonna give you temporary happiness.

661
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 4: And NTI repeat, rant and repeat.

662
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:46,240
Speaker 2: Your husband is or your partner is treating you like

663
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:49,240
Speaker 2: a baby with objects permanence, with no object.

664
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 4: But it's like it seems like it would be so

665
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 4: cognitive it but doesn't care. All right, I'll just shut

666
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 4: up you like a shiny new toy.

667
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:55,760
Speaker 3: I'll shut it.

668
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,880
Speaker 2: The thing is, you're not a baby with no object permanence,

669
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,760
Speaker 2: but you're being treated like this and you're letting it

670
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 2: kind of happen. But uh, I, let's finish this off.

671
00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 2: I feel trapped. We do not have kids, but we

672
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 2: have dogs, and we slush. I am the type that

673
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 2: really considers them family and my kids, and it would

674
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 2: hurt me and him if we separated from them. We

675
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:22,160
Speaker 2: both take the responsibility of pet parenting to heart and

676
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 2: really do the best for our doggy family. Now, let's

677
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 2: not forget about finances in the house and our investments.

678
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:30,840
Speaker 2: We both have quite a bit riding on this relationship,

679
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:32,880
Speaker 2: and quite frankly, I do not know a way out.

680
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 2: Whatever direction I would take, it would be messy. Now

681
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 2: telling me to get out and run is easy to say,

682
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,840
Speaker 2: but in my position is not easy to do. Honestly,

683
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 2: What do I do? Do I leave? How do I

684
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:49,520
Speaker 2: even approach that idea? Help you do you leave? Take

685
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:51,360
Speaker 2: one of the cars in live Take one of the

686
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:52,760
Speaker 2: many many cars out.

687
00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:55,680
Speaker 3: Three cars drive away.

688
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 1: Leave, leave, divorce, And you know what if you're if

689
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:04,080
Speaker 1: you're like a hot attractive guy, guess what you can go?

690
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:08,600
Speaker 1: Probably find another guy who's rich a thousand times better

691
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:15,160
Speaker 1: than this one. Truly, Like, I don't know what happened

692
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:17,759
Speaker 1: that hooked you into this sky so hard, but it's like,

693
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 1: you just leave. It's true, but it's scary.

694
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:25,000
Speaker 2: It's gonna be messy literally anyway. But the best option

695
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:28,560
Speaker 2: for you is leaving, because in the long run, it's

696
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:33,120
Speaker 2: the cleanest, smooth way to go. But that is the

697
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 2: end of that story.

698
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:38,240
Speaker 1: Is the end of that story. And my wife cheated

699
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:43,840
Speaker 1: on me with her coworker just weeks after our wedding, divorce,

700
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:47,680
Speaker 1: actually annulment. We got married just over a year ago

701
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:51,400
Speaker 1: and have been together for over six years. I trusted

702
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 1: my wife twenty seven female implicitly. Then we had a

703
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:57,640
Speaker 1: good relationship. We have a house, to cars and a dowl.

704
00:34:58,040 --> 00:34:59,839
Speaker 1: We don't have kids, but I was hoping to start

705
00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 1: a family together this year. By the way, this comes

706
00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:05,080
Speaker 1: from user throwaway burned Out twelve and if you want

707
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 1: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

708
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:11,360
Speaker 1: Okay storytime subrend it. So shortly after our wedding, my

709
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 1: wife starts talking to a guy from her work twenty

710
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:16,160
Speaker 1: seven mail. I didn't think anything of it, but they

711
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:20,360
Speaker 1: began talking every single day. Our spicy sleep life began

712
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:24,480
Speaker 1: to deteriorate as well, but I didn't think it was related.

713
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:27,799
Speaker 1: She became more distant, and one day, while we were

714
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,360
Speaker 1: looking at tiktoks on her phone, she immediately hid the

715
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:34,879
Speaker 1: notification from when he messaged her. I began to have doubts,

716
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:38,960
Speaker 1: so I went through her phone while she was asleep. Brother, Like,

717
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 1: as soon as she does the hiding the notification from you,

718
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:48,920
Speaker 1: unless it's for a surprise birthday party, you know everything

719
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:51,720
Speaker 1: you need to know already. Yeah, and that's for everyone

720
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:52,160
Speaker 1: out there.

721
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:57,280
Speaker 2: Stop stop stop sneaking into the phone.

722
00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:02,359
Speaker 1: Your relationship's already gone. Her and her little friend had

723
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,080
Speaker 1: been talking every single day for essentially the whole time

724
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 1: we have been married. She completely neglected my messages and

725
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 1: made no effort with me but would banter with this

726
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 1: guy endlessly. She had sent pictures of herself in swimwear

727
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:16,680
Speaker 1: to him, and some of the conversations ended abruptly and

728
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 1: made no sense. I think she had been deleting messages.

729
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:22,480
Speaker 2: Do you think she'd been sending pictures of her and

730
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 2: swimwear to them? What are the contexts there?

731
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:26,359
Speaker 1: What are we doing?

732
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:31,719
Speaker 2: He was swimming, wanted you to follow my takness journey.

733
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:33,680
Speaker 1: Was swimming and looked great. Thought you would want to

734
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 1: see me in what is essentially lingerie and that's allowed

735
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 1: in public anyways, was just thinking of you and not

736
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:50,080
Speaker 1: my husband. What So I freaked out and accused her

737
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:53,000
Speaker 1: of having an affair. She denied that anything had happened

738
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,160
Speaker 1: and told me our spicy sleep life sucked because of me,

739
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:57,080
Speaker 1: and demanded we start therapy.

740
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:02,359
Speaker 2: Cool, that's not so funny, so funny, and he's just

741
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 2: like okay, He's.

742
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:08,319
Speaker 1: Like, well, I guess you're right. Yeah. She said I

743
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:11,719
Speaker 1: was overreacting and that they were friends. She accused me

744
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 1: of violating her prorivacy. We started therapy, and I began

745
00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 1: to believe her. I felt awful about how I acted,

746
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:21,120
Speaker 1: and I even told her it was okay. If she

747
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 1: wanted to be friends with that guy again, but I

748
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:25,640
Speaker 1: would like to get to know him too, So really quick,

749
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:30,920
Speaker 1: your therapist sucks, really quick. Spoiler alert slash warning slash advisory.

750
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 1: Like the people who are like your abuser or like

751
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:38,279
Speaker 1: a fairer or whatever, Like people who have actively done

752
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:41,439
Speaker 1: like misdeeds against you, don't go to therapy with them

753
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:46,480
Speaker 1: because they will weaponize the therapy against you. Like, is

754
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:51,000
Speaker 1: what is happening to this man? Yikes? Sikes. Now that

755
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:55,600
Speaker 1: we're clear on that, I started to work on what

756
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:58,160
Speaker 1: she wanted me to do during the spicy sleep and

757
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:01,759
Speaker 1: how to initiate man. I got an anonymous email from

758
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:04,359
Speaker 1: someone claiming to be her coworker. They said they saw

759
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:07,480
Speaker 1: my wife kiss that guy and outlined how intimate their

760
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:11,080
Speaker 1: interactions at work were. The email had contact information for

761
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,319
Speaker 1: the affair partner twenty seven mail, but I couldn't bring

762
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 1: myself to confront him. I confronted my wife and she

763
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:18,200
Speaker 1: said all they did was kiss a couple of times,

764
00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:21,280
Speaker 1: and that they never had the spicy sleep. I'm sorry,

765
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:26,720
Speaker 1: it's all, it's all, it's just kiss. I'm leaving. I'm

766
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:27,800
Speaker 1: leaving today.

767
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 2: It was just very it was very he's European.

768
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:34,640
Speaker 1: Yes, it was just a little you know what.

769
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:36,640
Speaker 2: The first time someone did that to me, I was

770
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 2: like really thrown off, not in like a bad way.

771
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:40,400
Speaker 1: I just didn't know what was happening.

772
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 2: I was, yeah, like my I was with my parents,

773
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 2: I was with my parents. Like friend when I was

774
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:49,359
Speaker 2: traveling and her nephew was there, and he just like

775
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:51,759
Speaker 2: literally went. I was like, oh bye and like going

776
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:57,040
Speaker 2: for a hug and he went. I was like, sorry,

777
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:59,600
Speaker 2: great heavens are we married now?

778
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 1: Oh? Whoa great snakes? Oh boy. She said that she

779
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:06,959
Speaker 1: lied to me when I confronted her about the text

780
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:09,440
Speaker 1: because she didn't want to lose me, but went on

781
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:11,440
Speaker 1: to kiss and talk to him afterwards.

782
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 2: I can't choose between both of you because he's really

783
00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:17,879
Speaker 2: good at kissing and you're I'm technically married to.

784
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 1: You, buddy. Are you just learning what the concept of

785
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:23,480
Speaker 1: a lie is? Sorry? But what are we doing? He's like,

786
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 1: she lied to me. He's like, oh, she told me

787
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:27,880
Speaker 1: one thing and then did another.

788
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:29,320
Speaker 2: This doesn't make sense.

789
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 1: Have y'all ever heard of it that this doesn't make chense? Buddy,

790
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 1: I'm gonna need you to grow a spine for me

791
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:38,200
Speaker 1: to start having some empathy for you. Okay Uh. This

792
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:42,239
Speaker 1: essentially confirmed that she was gaslighting. She keeps denying that

793
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:45,120
Speaker 1: they had the spicy sleep, but they spent time together

794
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:48,719
Speaker 1: alone outside of work and at work. Writing this out

795
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 1: seems ridiculous because I feel stupid believing her. But she

796
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:54,800
Speaker 1: insists that she loves me and wants our marriage to work.

797
00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:57,279
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sorry. She insists she loves me and

798
00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:01,120
Speaker 1: wants our marriage to work. She had an emotional affair

799
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:04,239
Speaker 1: with him, and also a physical affair to be a

800
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:09,840
Speaker 1: physical affair. My gods, dude, that's physical.

801
00:40:10,239 --> 00:40:13,240
Speaker 2: Once you touch physically, that's.

802
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:15,880
Speaker 1: A physical affair. We gotta, we gotta, we gotta speed

803
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:19,399
Speaker 1: this up. Smooch, smooch, smooch, you gotta we gotta wait.

804
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:20,239
Speaker 2: Someone give me a pen.

805
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:28,360
Speaker 1: Smooth, smooch, a smooch. Nice. She had an emotional affair

806
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 1: with him and wants me to believe that was the

807
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:33,800
Speaker 1: extent of it. She says she chooses me and would

808
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 1: have left me for him if she wanted us to separate.

809
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 1: I have a sick feeling she had spicy sleep with him,

810
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:40,760
Speaker 1: But I don't have any proof.

811
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,439
Speaker 2: Dude, you don't. You don't need having a proof, dude,

812
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:43,839
Speaker 2: you're proof.

813
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:47,200
Speaker 1: You're sending her to jail. He's already admitted to you

814
00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:50,320
Speaker 1: that she had an affair. Maybe they're in one of

815
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:53,399
Speaker 1: these countries where you like can't leave people like after

816
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:55,760
Speaker 1: you get married and stuff without like proof for separation

817
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 1: and blah blah blah. She literally already cheated on you.

818
00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:01,040
Speaker 1: Crazy by the way, I don't support any thing like that.

819
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 1: That's you should be able to leave at will. Let

820
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:09,600
Speaker 1: me leave. She always has excuses and reasons and justifications.

821
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 1: If I had caught her in the act, it would

822
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:12,960
Speaker 1: have been a no brainer to separate.

823
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:15,640
Speaker 2: I don't think that's true, though, brother. I think if

824
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:18,080
Speaker 2: this isn't a no brainer that I don't think that

825
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:21,120
Speaker 2: I think you could have been convinced to not leave

826
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 2: her in that situation.

827
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:26,680
Speaker 1: I think you're a no brainer. I'm sorry, I'm sorry

828
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 1: that was kind of mean, but honestly, like, but honestly like,

829
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:32,719
Speaker 1: stop it. I feel like this is one of those

830
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:34,520
Speaker 1: where it's like I think he's writing it out and

831
00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 1: you're just like fingers crossed, like, please Internet, tell me

832
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:41,040
Speaker 1: I'm being crazy. But you know, you know.

833
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:43,040
Speaker 2: I think you just need a wake up call. This sucks,

834
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:43,880
Speaker 2: But you need a leave her.

835
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:46,919
Speaker 1: That email was two months ago, and I just don't

836
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 1: know what to do. Yes, you do. She claims she

837
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:51,760
Speaker 1: loves me and is inconsolable when I talk about separating,

838
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:54,319
Speaker 1: but she clearly had an affair. I need to know

839
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:56,760
Speaker 1: she didn't have spicy sleep with him. But she keeps

840
00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 1: telling me that nothing like that happened, But I don't

841
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:02,160
Speaker 1: know if I believe it. She makes me feel ridiculous

842
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 1: for not believing her when it's clear she's very capable

843
00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:06,960
Speaker 1: of lying. I was at a point where having our

844
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:09,080
Speaker 1: first kid was just around the corner. Part of me

845
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:12,479
Speaker 1: is desperate for all this to blow over. No, no joke,

846
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:14,760
Speaker 1: so we can get to the future we were supposed

847
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:17,440
Speaker 1: to have. But I feel pathetic for staying as you should.

848
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:20,200
Speaker 1: Is it possible for us to rebuild our trust? No?

849
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:22,399
Speaker 1: How long will it take before we can go back

850
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:24,920
Speaker 1: to something like we had before the heat death of

851
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 1: the universe? You can't. Any of your experience here is appreciated,

852
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:32,080
Speaker 1: and she doesn't want to leave. Yes, she doesn't want

853
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:34,239
Speaker 1: me to bring this up to my family because she's

854
00:42:34,239 --> 00:42:37,319
Speaker 1: isolating you. So it's mostly just been therapy where I

855
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:40,359
Speaker 1: have been talking this out financially, separation would be worse

856
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:42,879
Speaker 1: for her than me. I have a much higher paying job,

857
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:44,759
Speaker 1: and I think I am young enough to recover without

858
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:47,279
Speaker 1: too much of an issue. And there's an update here.

859
00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 1: We've already said everything we need to say right now. Ah,

860
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:52,319
Speaker 1: just leave her.

861
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:54,840
Speaker 3: Your spine is a noodle.

862
00:42:55,360 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, her, your spine is a gelatinous mass. Update preface.

863
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:05,879
Speaker 1: Thank you for all of your comments. I read every

864
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:08,920
Speaker 1: single one good. I was in denial as they all

865
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,439
Speaker 1: started rolling in, and I was honestly looking for people

866
00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:13,400
Speaker 1: to tell me that it would be fine and that

867
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:16,960
Speaker 1: they had been through similar situations. Hi, yes called it.

868
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,200
Speaker 1: The posters could see I was in denial, and some

869
00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:25,240
Speaker 1: broke it gently while others were harsher. Honestly, I needed

870
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:28,360
Speaker 1: both good. So we're vindicated we were allowed to be

871
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:30,280
Speaker 1: that harsh. That's what op he needed.

872
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:31,520
Speaker 2: He needed a wake up call.

873
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 1: Ultimately, you guys were right. It shouldn't matter if they

874
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:38,360
Speaker 1: had spicy sleep. The gas lighting and the emotional affair

875
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:41,240
Speaker 1: were enough. Her true colors came out when she got caught,

876
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:43,360
Speaker 1: and I will never see her the same way again.

877
00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 1: After staying up all night reading comments on the couch,

878
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:49,319
Speaker 1: I got dressed and went to work. I left work

879
00:43:49,320 --> 00:43:51,680
Speaker 1: at lunch and met up with my oldest brother thirty

880
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:54,879
Speaker 1: five male, and his wife, thirty six female. They had

881
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 1: thought of the world of this girl, but agreed with

882
00:43:57,200 --> 00:44:00,120
Speaker 1: everything you guys had said. We talked for hours, and

883
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 1: I spent a lot of it crying. They were furious

884
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:04,960
Speaker 1: I didn't come to them sooner, But I think she

885
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:09,440
Speaker 1: had intentionally been isolating me from talking to people. No,

886
00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:13,719
Speaker 1: that's which could have said that, But I think she

887
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:16,000
Speaker 1: had been intentionally isolating me from talking to people that

888
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:18,480
Speaker 1: were close to me about it. All my therapists did

889
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:20,880
Speaker 1: was echo what I wanted to hear. But the second

890
00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:23,439
Speaker 1: I talked to them, things started to click. I called

891
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:25,640
Speaker 1: my best friend while at my brother's and he had

892
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:29,400
Speaker 1: the exact same reaction. I decided I was done and

893
00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 1: getting divorced. I texted my wife, my freaking wife, that

894
00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:39,040
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be coming home. She started lighting up my

895
00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:42,240
Speaker 1: phone with messages and phone calls, but I ignored them.

896
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:44,879
Speaker 1: My brother and I both called in sick for work

897
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:49,000
Speaker 1: the next day, played video games and drank some silly juice.

898
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 1: He wanted me to just drop her and move on,

899
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:54,799
Speaker 1: but part of me wanted the whole truth. I knew

900
00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:57,200
Speaker 1: she would never tell me the truth, so I got creative.

901
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:01,720
Speaker 1: But I do agree with your brother that you should

902
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:04,560
Speaker 1: just wipe your hands. It doesn't really matter. Just move on,

903
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:10,759
Speaker 1: move forward, Leave this little you know, this little gobblining

904
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:15,560
Speaker 1: in the past, think about her anymore. In the middle

905
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:18,160
Speaker 1: of the day, I called the number for the affair

906
00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:20,719
Speaker 1: partner that was in the email. I knew he would lie,

907
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 1: but I told him. She came clean and said, you

908
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:25,560
Speaker 1: guys only had spicy sleep once and that it was

909
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:31,560
Speaker 1: a mistake. All and all I wanted was to hear

910
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:34,680
Speaker 1: his version and that I would leave him alone. He

911
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:37,799
Speaker 1: was clearly panicked and immediately agreed, confirmed it was only

912
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:39,879
Speaker 1: once and a mistake, but wouldn't give me a day

913
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,200
Speaker 1: or event. When I pressed, he said he was blocking

914
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 1: my number and whatever. But this was a start. Now.

915
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:51,320
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm just a sick, deranged, twisted maniac,

916
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:54,000
Speaker 1: but I'd be like, hey, you need to get tested.

917
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:57,839
Speaker 1: I would want to put the fear of God into

918
00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:00,920
Speaker 1: this man. Oh yeah, I'd be like, you should get

919
00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:05,680
Speaker 1: a test for some you should get a disease panel problem.

920
00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:07,960
Speaker 1: But that kind of just helps him you know. No,

921
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:09,799
Speaker 1: I don't know, because it not you know, just.

922
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 2: Now, he's just got a test and everyone should be

923
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 2: getting tested.

924
00:46:12,239 --> 00:46:13,800
Speaker 1: I mean sure, but like you just you know, you

925
00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:16,879
Speaker 1: just help. I want to put the fear in the man.

926
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:19,080
Speaker 1: So he is, he's a little bit of I want

927
00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:21,759
Speaker 1: some kind of punishment, right, but it's free. I'm just

928
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:22,440
Speaker 1: being vindictive.

929
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:25,320
Speaker 2: Unless he has unless he has symptoms, it's free.

930
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:29,560
Speaker 1: Well yeah, I don't know. You probably shouldn't do that,

931
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 1: but you know what, Oh, maybe you should help this

932
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:35,520
Speaker 1: man out. I don't know. Yeah, actually that's what I meant.

933
00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:37,600
Speaker 1: I meant to just help him. That's what I meant. Hey,

934
00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:40,000
Speaker 1: John Ogi host here. We're gonna get back to this episode,

935
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:41,840
Speaker 1: but a quick three minute break of ads from a

936
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:45,040
Speaker 1: sponsor's keeping the show alive. My brother was curious how

937
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:47,200
Speaker 1: one of her coworkers had my email and that it

938
00:46:47,239 --> 00:46:50,560
Speaker 1: didn't make sense. This wasn't a publicly listed work email.

939
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:52,799
Speaker 1: It was a personal one. Yes, that's what we were

940
00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:53,560
Speaker 1: talking about earlier.

941
00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 2: How did they get the email?

942
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:57,879
Speaker 1: I started mindlessly going through my inbox and found old

943
00:46:57,920 --> 00:47:00,879
Speaker 1: emails from a rec league sports team organized a couple

944
00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:03,759
Speaker 1: of years ago for my friends and my wive had

945
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:06,480
Speaker 1: invited one of her really close female coworker friends and

946
00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:09,439
Speaker 1: their partner to join. She had my email and could

947
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 1: have sent it to me. My brother was telling me

948
00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:14,040
Speaker 1: to stop because this was bordering on crazy, but my

949
00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:17,239
Speaker 1: blessed sister in law was egging me on. I called

950
00:47:17,239 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 1: into their work and asked for the coworker's cell, identifying

951
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:23,400
Speaker 1: myself as wife's husband and it was for a social reason.

952
00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:25,879
Speaker 1: They gave it to me, and once work hours were over,

953
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:27,719
Speaker 1: I gave her a call. I told her that the

954
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:29,880
Speaker 1: affair partner had come clean and that I think she

955
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 1: emailed me, and she immediately admitted to it. She said

956
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:35,160
Speaker 1: she hated not approaching me in person, but was terrified

957
00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:37,399
Speaker 1: to do so and thought I might snap at her.

958
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:40,040
Speaker 1: She didn't care if anyone at work or if my

959
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:45,160
Speaker 1: wife my WIF found out. She was just grateful that

960
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 1: I wanted to hear the truth. I thanked her for

961
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 1: reaching out and said I couldn't talk to the affair

962
00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:53,360
Speaker 1: partner again and just wanted to hear her side of

963
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:55,759
Speaker 1: the story to tell my lawyer. She said she had

964
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:58,640
Speaker 1: gone no contact with my wife and confirmed that my

965
00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 1: wif had an a in extensive detail, they had to

966
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:05,760
Speaker 1: spicy sleep anytime I was out of town or anytime

967
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:08,320
Speaker 1: I was working later overnight, both of which happened multiple

968
00:48:08,360 --> 00:48:11,400
Speaker 1: times a month, and that it started weeks after our wedding.

969
00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:14,319
Speaker 1: My wife had essentially been bragging about it to this

970
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:18,000
Speaker 1: coworker friend in a very graphic detail. When asked why

971
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:20,640
Speaker 1: she wouldn't leave me, my wife talked about how comfortable

972
00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:23,319
Speaker 1: her life was, how much money I made, and that

973
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:26,160
Speaker 1: other people thought I was good looking oOoOO.

974
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:28,120
Speaker 3: Good looking.

975
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:31,239
Speaker 1: This caused the coworker who sent me the email to

976
00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:35,120
Speaker 1: snap and cut off ties with my wife. The coworker

977
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 1: desperately wanted me to find out and was horrified by

978
00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:40,480
Speaker 1: the situation because she had been cheated on before and

979
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:44,680
Speaker 1: that my wife was aware of that. She said, friend X,

980
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:48,400
Speaker 1: Y and Z also new. This felt like a betrayal

981
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:51,279
Speaker 1: because X and Y had known me for so long

982
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:53,879
Speaker 1: that I considered them my own friends. They were at

983
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:57,040
Speaker 1: our house multiple times a month. I wanted to call

984
00:48:58,040 --> 00:49:00,400
Speaker 1: X and Y, but sister in law stopped me. She

985
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:02,840
Speaker 1: thought they would give my wife a heads up and

986
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:05,799
Speaker 1: said I might enjoy catching her in another lie. I

987
00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:08,279
Speaker 1: slept at my brothers for a second night and sent

988
00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:10,680
Speaker 1: a text that I'd be home at ten am tomorrow

989
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:14,000
Speaker 1: to my wife. I went home, she was waiting, asked

990
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:16,360
Speaker 1: me what was going on, and that she had been worried,

991
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:19,960
Speaker 1: sick and was anxious and furious. I told her that

992
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:22,520
Speaker 1: the affair partner came clean. You guys had the spicy

993
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:25,560
Speaker 1: sleep when I was gone whenever. She broke down said

994
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:28,520
Speaker 1: it was just the one time that she loved me

995
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,880
Speaker 1: and couldn't admit to it because I would leave her.

996
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:35,000
Speaker 1: You're like, I couldn't tell you the truth because then

997
00:49:35,040 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 1: I'd have consequences. Then I'd have to deal with. Well,

998
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:42,839
Speaker 1: I the fact I lied to you all this time.

999
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:44,879
Speaker 1: Think about how how much I love you. I love

1000
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:46,120
Speaker 1: you enough to cheat on you and lie to you

1001
00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:47,160
Speaker 1: the entire time you were married.

1002
00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:49,000
Speaker 2: Oh, I could have told you the truth.

1003
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:51,960
Speaker 1: Like this hurts me more than it hurts you. She

1004
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,080
Speaker 1: also said I was a better than the other guy

1005
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:56,840
Speaker 1: and every way. I think this is what one of

1006
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 1: the commenters meant in my old post. Then I asked

1007
00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:01,919
Speaker 1: her I promise it was just the one and she did.

1008
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:04,160
Speaker 1: She said she was desperate to move on from this

1009
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:06,880
Speaker 1: and have kids and continue with our comfortable life. I

1010
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:09,839
Speaker 1: should let it go, et cetera. Things got quiet and

1011
00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:12,680
Speaker 1: I kind of just started laughing. I saw her for

1012
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:14,920
Speaker 1: who she really was. I told her I knew the

1013
00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:16,959
Speaker 1: whole truth, told her about some of what I had heard,

1014
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:18,960
Speaker 1: and was only here to grab my things and take

1015
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:22,520
Speaker 1: our dog. She was in disbelief, sccreamed at me, unlocked

1016
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:24,839
Speaker 1: herself in the washroom. I packed it to go bag

1017
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:27,320
Speaker 1: and have been at my brother since meeting with the lawyer.

1018
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:29,719
Speaker 1: Later shout out to my brother, sister in law, and

1019
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:32,759
Speaker 1: the coworker who came through f those cheaters. And by

1020
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:35,640
Speaker 1: the way, you can come through and listen to full

1021
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:39,080
Speaker 1: episodes with stories like this. Just go to iHeartRadio or

1022
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:43,000
Speaker 1: Spotify or Apple Podcasts and search Okay, storytime. It really

1023
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:45,400
Speaker 1: all it takes. You can listen to every episode that

1024
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:48,600
Speaker 1: we never steps. We have a little bit of story left.

1025
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:52,440
Speaker 1: I think let's just dive right in and finish it

1026
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:52,920
Speaker 1: off on it.

1027
00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:53,759
Speaker 4: UH.

1028
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:56,880
Speaker 1: To be clear, I understand that the emotional affair and

1029
00:50:56,960 --> 00:50:59,520
Speaker 1: kissing should have been enough to end things. I had

1030
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:02,320
Speaker 1: just been in the fog with constant lying and fighting.

1031
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 1: For some reason, my brain latched onto the idea that

1032
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:07,840
Speaker 1: they never had Spicy sleep and that somehow meant we

1033
00:51:07,880 --> 00:51:10,840
Speaker 1: still had a chance. My wife made me feel like

1034
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:13,200
Speaker 1: if I could just get over a kiss, things would

1035
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:15,839
Speaker 1: be fine. Getting the truth certainly made it much, much,

1036
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:18,880
Speaker 1: much easier to see her for what she is onto

1037
00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:21,960
Speaker 1: rebuilding and moving on. I'm also getting a new therapist

1038
00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 1: because the old one should have helped me see the

1039
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:29,520
Speaker 1: gas sliding and trickle truth and manipulation for what it was. Edit. Oh,

1040
00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:31,160
Speaker 1: and I should have trusted my gut when I first

1041
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:35,319
Speaker 1: saw and read the text. Yes, exactly that. Yeah you

1042
00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:39,160
Speaker 1: think the coworker confirmed that they had been spicy texting

1043
00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:42,920
Speaker 1: and exchanging noodles regularly. Trust your gut, people.

1044
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:45,799
Speaker 3: And that is coming from you saying trust her cuts and.

1045
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:48,480
Speaker 1: Also trust the proof when you literally get proof. Well

1046
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:50,920
Speaker 1: now you know, you know, op now is someone who

1047
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:52,839
Speaker 1: will always trust their gut, which we love.

1048
00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:54,000
Speaker 3: Trust your gut.

1049
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:57,600
Speaker 1: A long long time to truss this guts, but did

1050
00:51:57,880 --> 00:51:59,879
Speaker 1: about a year or two long yea too many years.

1051
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:02,040
Speaker 1: But you can trust that.

1052
00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:05,680
Speaker 2: This is the end of the episode, So if you

1053
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:07,719
Speaker 2: love us, make sure to subscribe.

1054
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:10,759
Speaker 1: We love you and see it tomorrow.