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Speaker 1: Ridiculous History is a production of iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to the show, Ridiculous Historians. Thank you, as

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Speaker 2: always so much for tuning in. Let's hear it for

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Speaker 2: the man, the myth, the legend of Friendly Fire. Our

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Speaker 2: super producer, mister Max Williams.

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Speaker 3: Hello, Max Williams.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Max Williams. Now, who are those dulcet tones? We

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Speaker 2: may be asking ourselves. It's none other than Noel.

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Speaker 3: Brown and Ben Balen. That's you.

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Speaker 4: You two have dulcet tones, and together we make we

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Speaker 4: should start a like a like a like a kind

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Speaker 4: of a do wop band called the Dulcet Tones.

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Speaker 2: There we go, There we go. We could do boys

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Speaker 2: to men? Is that a name that's already a thing?

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Speaker 4: ACBBD, BVD or BBD.

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Speaker 3: I've never fully understood.

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Speaker 2: I love it, man, I would love it. We actually, uh,

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Speaker 2: in the past, have hung out outside of our our

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Speaker 2: daily remit.

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Speaker 5: Uh.

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Speaker 2: No, we are, as you know, fans of Ridiculous History.

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Speaker 2: We are especially fans of bad asses. This is a

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Speaker 2: pretty blatant segue, because, oh, friends and neighbors, we are

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Speaker 2: joined with a guy. Now, I know I sound biased

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Speaker 2: because his name is also Bet, but you're you remember

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Speaker 2: a little while back we talked with the guy who

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Speaker 2: created the concept of a Badass of the week. That's right, folks,

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Speaker 2: we are joined today with none other than the creator

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Speaker 2: of Badass of the Week, an ongoing exploration of history

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Speaker 2: that is ridiculous in the most amazing way. Please join

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Speaker 2: us in welcoming the one and only Ben Thompson.

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Speaker 6: Hello, thank you guys for having me on the show.

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Speaker 6: I regret to inform you that I do not have

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Speaker 6: dulcet tones and I am not appearing with a badass today.

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Speaker 4: You're the only badass we need, and don't sell your

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Speaker 4: tones short, buddy, there are plenty dulls.

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Speaker 2: No, you're in the band, for sure. You're you're in

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Speaker 2: the band.

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Speaker 5: Okay, all right, I'll take it. I'm not gonna say no.

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Speaker 4: You know, what's your voice? What's your vocal register? Are

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Speaker 4: you like a baritone tenor?

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Speaker 5: I don't know, I don't know.

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Speaker 6: I have I'm at the level where I have a

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Speaker 6: list of songs on my telephone that I cannot stray

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Speaker 6: from if I put my name in for karaoke. Yeah,

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Speaker 6: I generally stick to like cake and the violent fems

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Speaker 6: and bands that don't involve singing just speak the words,

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Speaker 6: you know, that kind of thing.

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Speaker 2: I respect that, but yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 6: I have this list and it's like, these are the

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Speaker 6: ones that I know, because you know, there's nothing worse

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Speaker 6: with karaoke than getting up there and the music starts

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Speaker 6: and you do the first line of the song. You're like, uh, oh,

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Speaker 6: not only do what? Can I not sing this? But

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Speaker 6: I don't know all the words to it? And it's

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Speaker 6: super long.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 6: You get up there, like everybody will sing along and

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Speaker 6: you start and you're like, I can't do this.

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Speaker 5: Nobody's singing along. You're like, I just want to die.

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Speaker 5: I just want to put the.

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Speaker 4: Mic a rookie mistake, Bohemian Rhapsody. Never It's almost as

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Speaker 4: bad as doing like Stairway to Heaven. But I do

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Speaker 4: have to say the most important thing when it comes

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Speaker 4: to karaoke and history is going the distance.

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Speaker 5: Yes, yes, you can make up for a lot of

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Speaker 5: lack of talent with effort.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I'm feeling very cold out now. But

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Speaker 2: uh but speaking of talent, speaking of effort and acumen, Ben,

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Speaker 2: congratulations on one hundred episodes of.

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Speaker 6: Badassk Yeah recently, So that's awesome, you know, the website

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Speaker 6: started in four so the website can drink.

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Speaker 5: Now, that's how old that is.

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Speaker 6: And now the podcast at one hundred episodes, so you

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Speaker 6: know that's you know, the good news is it's hard

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Speaker 6: to run out of badasses to talk about in history,

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Speaker 6: which I love really fun. You know, every time I

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Speaker 6: do an episode, every week, I do one episode, but

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Speaker 6: I get like five recommendations for somebody I haven't written

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Speaker 6: about before. So the list continues to get bigger.

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Speaker 4: And yet you say, you come to us today, badass free.

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Speaker 4: What's that about? Explain yourself, sir.

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Speaker 6: So Badass of the Week comes out on Tuesdays, and

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Speaker 6: I'm gonna, you know, double post this on my feed,

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Speaker 6: this episode on my feed. But for me, this episode

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Speaker 6: will be released on April Fool's Day, so I always,

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Speaker 6: you know, it's rare. I used to update the website

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Speaker 6: on Fridays. The podcast comes out on Tuesdays, but whenever,

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Speaker 6: like the exact day lands on April Fools, I like

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Speaker 6: to try to do something fun. So today, rather than

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Speaker 6: talk about a badass, I want to talk about the

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Speaker 6: dumbest battle in history as far as I'm.

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Speaker 2: Consuming, which is you know, that's a that's a that's

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Speaker 2: a competitive list.

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Speaker 6: It's a competitive list, and you would think it would

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Speaker 6: be really difficult to pick the dumbest battle in history.

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Speaker 5: You know, I'm in I'm in Washington State. We had

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Speaker 5: a pig war here where we.

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Speaker 3: Know what the pig war. We did the pig war,

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Speaker 3: didn't we, Ben? We did the pig war.

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Speaker 2: We had to. There was a war uh entirely based

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Speaker 2: on a guy losing an ear.

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Speaker 5: Uh yeah jenkins ear.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah.

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Speaker 4: They put it in the name, something about throwing potatoes

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Speaker 4: from a submarine. I seem to remember that one. I

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Speaker 4: do have to say, though, Ben, I hope that the

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Speaker 4: the ridiculousness of this battle really makes up for a

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Speaker 4: mega dry episode on the Russo Japanese War that we

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Speaker 4: did recently.

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Speaker 5: Russo Japanese War is pretty bad ass. Like Admiral Telle Yes,

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Speaker 5: nuts like that. That Battle of Tsushima is insane.

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Speaker 2: So Ben set the scene for us first off. Also,

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Speaker 2: clearly I'm biased because I love other people named Ben.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry. I don't want to make it weird, but

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Speaker 2: I do want to be Trys.

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Speaker 5: You're making it a little weird.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, I'm going for you guys collectively as the Benz.

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Speaker 5: All right, the Benz. Yeah yeah, yeah, so sounds dangerous.

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Speaker 3: Baby's got the Benz.

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Speaker 2: So let's cast our memories back to first off, start

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Speaker 2: this way, Ben Noel, Max Fellow, ridiculous historians have yet

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Speaker 2: ever traveled to Austria.

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Speaker 3: When I was a young German boy, I most likely

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Speaker 3: set foot in Austria, but not since then, No, I

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Speaker 3: don't believe.

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Speaker 5: So.

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Speaker 6: I was in exchange student to Germany in nineteen ninety

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Speaker 6: six and we drove down to Bavaria. We crossed over

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Speaker 6: to Saltzburg and I went to the castle there. I

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Speaker 6: saw Mozart was born, and I climbed up to the

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Speaker 6: top of the castle there. That was pretty cool.

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Speaker 3: Did you see where Arnold Schwarzenegger was born?

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Speaker 5: I did it.

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Speaker 6: But I learned something interesting about Arnold recently that made

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Speaker 6: me laugh. Apparently this is going to be one of

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Speaker 6: I'm sure many segues that I'm gonna are gonna I

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Speaker 6: learned about Arnold recently that he wanted to when the

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Speaker 6: Terminator came out. He wanted to do the German dub

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Speaker 6: of the Terminator because he speaks German and it's going

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Speaker 6: to be released in Germany. But apparently he is from

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Speaker 6: some mountain town in Austria, and he has some like

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Speaker 6: super rednecky German accent, And so they were like, no,

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Speaker 6: nobody will believe that the sophisticated cyborg killing machine from

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Speaker 6: the future talks like a hillbilly. So we're gonna with

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Speaker 6: somebody else with a much more like appropriate German accent.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, all right, I love it. And it goes

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Speaker 2: to show that even the most modern badass has a

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Speaker 2: couple things that stay with them.

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Speaker 5: Yes, you know, nothing's perfect, right, nobody's perfect.

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Speaker 2: Nothing's perfect right, And even the most sophisticated militaries can

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Speaker 2: sometimes step on their own.

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Speaker 3: Toes, foisted on their own petard.

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Speaker 2: So take us, like, we're not just spinning our wheels here, right,

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Speaker 2: We're not just uh, we're not just flexing our leader

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Speaker 2: hosen or what have you. You do.

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Speaker 3: They are a little tighter, Well, they have like suspender

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Speaker 3: esque Well, when you do those oompa dance moves, you

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Speaker 3: gotta have they gotta have a little give to it,

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Speaker 3: or you might, you know, rip the back out, you.

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Speaker 6: Know, Yeah, yeah, that'd be dangerous. That's worse than trying

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Speaker 6: to do Bohemian rapsy to karaoke. Blowing out your leader.

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Speaker 4: By the way, guys, uh umpa version of Bohemian Rhapsody,

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Speaker 4: just saying, just putting that out there.

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Speaker 3: The world needs this, so sorry, carry on.

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Speaker 2: Please, let's call let's call weird al on this, Let's

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Speaker 2: get top men.

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Speaker 5: I'm sure it might. Maybe it's been done. I don't know.

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Speaker 5: I feel like there's so many verse sets.

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Speaker 3: A version of everything. Yeah, so that's sort of the

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Speaker 3: whole deal.

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Speaker 2: I love that. I love that there's a new version

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Speaker 2: of everything. Uh Ben, tell us what friendly fire is?

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Speaker 6: Okay, friendly fire is when you shoot your own guys

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Speaker 6: by accident. They call it friendly fire. It's not that friendly.

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Speaker 6: It's when you accidentally shoot your own guys on your

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Speaker 6: own on the same side as you go.

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Speaker 4: It is, you know, and in like certain shooter games,

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Speaker 4: if I'm not mistaken, there's like a difficulty level I

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Speaker 4: think where you can friendly fire is a thing you can't. Actually,

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Speaker 4: there are certain games where you can kill your own team.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, you'll get banned from from team killing in some games.

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Speaker 6: And yeah, like it's a it's a thing, and like

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Speaker 6: you know.

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Speaker 3: A bit of an own goal as they say, yeah, sport.

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Speaker 6: Yes, And so when we are going to talk about

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Speaker 6: the Battle of karen Sevi's here. It's referred to as

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Speaker 6: a battle, but it's such a friendly fire incident that

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Speaker 6: sometimes it's referred to as just that, a friendly fire

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Speaker 6: incident and not a battle. But I always have seen

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Speaker 6: it written as the Battle of karen Sevies, and I

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Speaker 6: think it is the stupidest battle in history. So we're

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Speaker 6: going to talk about it and the battle here. We're

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Speaker 6: in a time period that can sometimes be a bit

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Speaker 6: of a of a black hole, even for like historians.

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Speaker 6: We are in the seventeen hundreds in Eastern Europe, which

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Speaker 6: is the time in which everything is fluid, and you

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Speaker 6: have this kind of the height of the Habsburg Empire,

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Speaker 6: the Holy Roman Empire, and there's a lot of weird

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Speaker 6: politics that.

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Speaker 5: Happened at this time period.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna and the Ottomans are still in play, right.

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Speaker 5: Yes, the Ottomans are still in play.

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Speaker 2: And so before they thought they were thought of as.

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Speaker 6: Furniture, right yes, yes, back when they were still the

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Speaker 6: Ottomans and they were not Trichia yet they were the

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Speaker 6: Ottoman Empire.

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Speaker 4: They're around what's what's an Ottoman? That's the thing you

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Speaker 4: put your feet on, right, yes, that's not cool. You

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Speaker 4: don't want to be remembered for that bit of a

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Speaker 4: dormat kind of situation.

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Speaker 5: They invented it. I think.

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Speaker 6: I think it gets its name because it was a

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Speaker 6: thing that they were using, and I think it was like,

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Speaker 6: I think it was fancy, like when they first sat.

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Speaker 5: Oh, this is exactly that they do. What the Ottoman

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Speaker 5: sultans do.

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Speaker 3: It was like the.

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Speaker 4: Stool boom and Blaine, Indiana from waiting for Gufman. You know,

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Speaker 4: it's like a whole uh An industry that just sprang

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Speaker 4: up over this one esoteric piece of furniture.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, the sultan started by making his servants get down

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Speaker 6: on all fours. We could put her feet on their backs.

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Speaker 6: And then they're like, what if it were built a

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Speaker 6: piece of.

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Speaker 3: Wood, we had a non human equivalent. Okay, okay, I'm listening.

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Speaker 2: All right, So the Ottoman Empire very much in play.

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Speaker 6: Yes, they're in place. So let's start in the Holy

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Speaker 6: Roman Empire in seventeen forty one with the birth of

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Speaker 6: the future Holy Roman Emperor Joseph the Second, so Holy

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Speaker 6: Roman Empire. This is the Austro Hungarian Empire. You'll see

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Speaker 6: it sometimes referred to we are in Austria. Joseph's mother

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Speaker 6: is the Empress Maria Theresa, and Maria Theresa's badass. We're

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Speaker 6: gonna have some badass women that make ancillary appearances in

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Speaker 6: this story. But Marie Theresa, I could talk about her

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Speaker 6: at length, I'm not going to, but she's pretty badass.

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Speaker 6: She takes over the throne of the Holy Roman Empire.

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Speaker 6: She's attacked by Frederick the Great and several other armies.

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Speaker 6: You have this European World War that one of these

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Speaker 6: one of the many European World Wars that were happening

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Speaker 6: around this time, and she is able to hang on

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Speaker 6: to power in the War of Austrian Succession. She builds

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Speaker 6: up Austria Hungary, makes it pretty dominant regional power, and

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Speaker 6: then when Frederick the Great comes back in the Seven

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Speaker 6: Years War, she fights them off much better. Seven Years

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Speaker 6: War is another big world war. France gets involved England.

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Speaker 6: In the US, we call it the War the French

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Speaker 6: and Indian War because we were in England and France

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Speaker 6: were at war and they're fighting over Louisiana the wars.

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Speaker 2: And we're a little self centered.

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Speaker 6: Sure, of course, yeah, Well, we were only fighting the

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Speaker 6: French and the Indians. We weren't fighting the Austrians and

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Speaker 6: the Russians, but they were fighting each other in Crimea

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Speaker 6: and in India and whatever. So anyway, though Maria Trece

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Speaker 6: is she's a tough lady and she has this son, Joseph.

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Speaker 6: He is born in seventeen forty one and he is

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Speaker 6: officially co ruler, but that just means that he he

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Speaker 6: just signs the documents that Maritsteresa puts in front of him.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, king of paperwork.

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Speaker 4: Yes, like the equivalent of the auto pen that's been

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Speaker 4: much to do has been made about in the news.

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Speaker 5: I don't know the story.

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Speaker 3: You don't know what the autopen.

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Speaker 4: It's like a thing apparently it's been used for you know,

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Speaker 4: many many presidencies where it's like it's a literal mechanical

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Speaker 4: device that recreates.

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Speaker 3: A signature on multiple documents at once. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I didn't know about it either until it's been kind

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Speaker 4: of in the news, but it is something. Actually we

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Speaker 4: should probably do an episode on the history of the

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Speaker 4: autopen because it was very much like an invention that

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Speaker 4: was created to you know, serve a need.

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Speaker 3: Like I think back in Length of the sixties.

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Speaker 2: I'm writing it down with a regular pen, with a

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Speaker 2: regular pen, yeah for sure. All right, so we got

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Speaker 2: this emperor of Emperor of paperwork in action, even though

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Speaker 2: a co ruler in sort of theory.

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Speaker 6: Yes, So I'm seventeen sixty three, the Seven Years War ends,

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Speaker 6: he's twenty two years old. He is getting a little

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Speaker 6: bit more power, and then when his mother passes away

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Speaker 6: two years later, he becomes the ruler of the Holy

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Speaker 6: Roman Empire. Okay, So Joseph the Second he's an interesting guy.

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Speaker 6: He he referred to himself as an enlightened despot, which

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Speaker 6: sounds yes, okay, I remember.

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Speaker 3: Did he coin that?

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Speaker 4: I feel like I've used I've heard that used to

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Speaker 4: describe other people in it.

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Speaker 6: You know, I'm not sure whether he invented that or not.

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Speaker 6: Knowing what I know about this guy, probably not. He

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Speaker 6: probably heard the term and liked it and applied it

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Speaker 6: to himself.

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Speaker 2: He said, also me, Yeah, that's what I definitely that

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Speaker 2: like someone reposting a meme on Reddit. All right, so

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Speaker 2: he's got this big Victor von Doom energy.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, so he's an enlightened despot, which it sounds bad,

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Speaker 6: but it's okay. So basically, the enlightenment is cool. Freethinking

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Speaker 6: is cool. Human rights are cool. Except for all that

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Speaker 6: anti king talk. King is still we still have to

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Speaker 6: do the aristocracy thing. But freedom of expression, as long

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Speaker 6: as you like me, you can be you can have

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Speaker 6: freedom of expression as long as you dont say anything

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Speaker 6: against me. And he starts bringing in scholars, scientists, He

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Speaker 6: builds universities, hospitals. He reforms the civil law to make

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Speaker 6: it a little bit less repressive. He abolishes slavery and

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Speaker 6: serfdom in the Austro Hungarian Empire.

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Speaker 3: The Holy Roman Empiers sound like great.

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Speaker 2: Also super forward thinking, yes, contrast of places like the

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Speaker 2: Ottoman Empire, which was super down.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yes.

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Speaker 6: He passes religious equality law and even includes the Jews

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Speaker 6: and Muslims in it.

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Speaker 5: They're allowed. You're allowed to be Jewish and Muslim in

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Speaker 5: the Holy Roman Empire.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 6: He's a patron of the arts and music. Mozart and

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Speaker 6: Beethoven like come to his court. He actually had hires

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Speaker 6: Mozart to be his chamber composer, which had been like

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Speaker 6: a vacant spot for a long time. And he's like, oh, Mozart,

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Speaker 6: come on, you can be my chamber of courser I'll

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Speaker 6: pay you to make music for my parades, and so

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Speaker 6: Mozart hated this. He would have to make make these

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Speaker 6: like little marches for him to appear at the at

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Speaker 6: these events, but it was a paycheck and he had

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Speaker 6: to get paid, right, and so okay, all this is great,

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Speaker 6: except he is the Holy Roman Empire, and the Pope

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Speaker 6: doesn't like a lot of this stuff that's happening. Isn't

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Speaker 6: really down with all of this stuff in seventeen forty one,

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Speaker 6: and he's got a lot of Catholic subjects. So there's

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Speaker 6: a little bit of argument among his people as to

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Speaker 6: whether these reforms are good or bad. We see this

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Speaker 6: from time to time that countries can't agree on the

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Speaker 6: direction the country should be taking. Sure, okay, so all

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Speaker 6: that's going okay at home, but he's decided at some point,

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Speaker 6: like he's built up his kingdom, he's got this enlightened

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Speaker 6: despot thing going on, but he wants to kind of

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Speaker 6: get involved with foreign policy. And so his first attempt

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Speaker 6: at that is we were talking about funny wars is

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Speaker 6: the Kettle War of seventeen eighty four. And I'm mentioning

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Speaker 6: this only because it's weird.

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Speaker 4: No, my imagination is already running wild what could the

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Speaker 4: Kettle War have been all about?

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Speaker 6: So one of these Catholic groups in the Holy Roman

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Speaker 6: Empire that don't like his reforms are what's referred to

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Speaker 6: at the time as the Austrian Netherlands, but today it's

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Speaker 6: basically Belgium more or less equates to Belgium like the

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Speaker 6: Low Country. Yeah, yeah, the Austrian Netherlands sounds like somewhere

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Speaker 6: that Sauron would live though, you know what I mean. Oh,

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Speaker 6: he is from the Austrian Netherlands, the nether realm of Austria,

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Speaker 6: and so he anyway, so he.

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Speaker 4: Is another realm of Mortal Kombat thing I think it is.

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Speaker 4: It's the name of the company, the Menzels, so I

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Speaker 4: think maybe it's outworld, but they do refer to the

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Speaker 4: nether Realms.

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Speaker 6: There are definitely nether Realms in various peaces of fantasy

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Speaker 6: and sids.

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Speaker 2: Fiction, dungeons and dragons, and also, you know, just for

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Speaker 2: all our lists from the Netherlands. It's a weird name

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Speaker 2: in English, just.

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Speaker 6: Weird that it's the Netherlands, but it's also Holland and

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Speaker 6: you're the Dutch. That's weird, right. Also your national colors orange.

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Speaker 6: But it doesn't appear on your flag. That's weird too.

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Speaker 2: That's also weird. Also while we're in that area of

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Speaker 2: the world, just going to walk down the street for

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Speaker 2: this one, Thank you Denmark for Legos. That was tight,

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Speaker 2: good move.

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Speaker 5: No, I don't know.

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Speaker 4: Then you say something about like there's more Lego pieces

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Speaker 4: now in existence than some other things.

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Speaker 3: There are a lot of There.

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Speaker 2: Are more Lego mini figures or minifigs for fellow nerds

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Speaker 2: than there are human beings alive.

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Speaker 5: What is that true?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, that is true. It's like podcasts true, but

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Speaker 2: it is true. Sam Ben weird derailing you?

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Speaker 5: No, No, I'm derailing myself.

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Speaker 6: I'm talking about the seventeen eighty four Kettle War when

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Speaker 6: we're supposed to talking about the nineteen seventeen.

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Speaker 2: Let's let's spin it out though. What's the what's the

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Speaker 2: It helps.

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Speaker 6: To know the background on Joseph the Second is going

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Speaker 6: to help to understand what happens at Karen Sevi's So okay,

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Speaker 6: So Joseph the Second he wants to at home, things

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Speaker 6: are going okay. All of the people in the cities

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Speaker 6: are down with his stuff. A lot of the people

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Speaker 6: who are a little bit less enlightened, affected by the Enlightenment.

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Speaker 6: They're not down with what he's doing. So there's there's

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Speaker 6: division within the Austro Hungarian Empire, and one of the

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Speaker 6: regions that is divided is this Austrian Netherlands, which, like

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Speaker 6: I said, is basically Belgium. The Austrian Netherlands borders actual Netherlands,

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Speaker 6: which is Protestant at the time, and they are they

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Speaker 6: get grumpy and they they blockade the Belgian ports to

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Speaker 6: deny Joseph and his ship's access to the North Sea.

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Speaker 6: So he says, okay, I'm gonna send I'm gonna declare

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Speaker 6: war if you don't release this blockade. So he sends

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Speaker 6: three warships to threaten the block and these three warships

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Speaker 6: go out, one Dutch warship approaches them. And you know,

398
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Speaker 6: one thing about the Dutch at this time is they're awesome.

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Speaker 6: Their navy's awesome, right, and the Austro Hungarian Empire is

400
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Speaker 6: not known for having an awesome navy. But the Dutch

401
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,320
Speaker 6: navy is very experienced and they're very powerful at this

402
00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:20,159
Speaker 6: time period. And the Dutch navy and the sailors, you know,

403
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Speaker 6: they didn't have a lot of guys and a lot

404
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Speaker 6: of ships but what they had was a very high

405
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Speaker 6: quality anyway. So there's one Dutch ship sails out to

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Speaker 6: these three Austro Hungarian ships, and the Austro Hungarians are like,

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Speaker 6: if you don't release the blockade, will fire on you

408
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:38,119
Speaker 6: and declare war, and the Dutch shoot at them. They

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Speaker 6: shoot one shot, one warning shot that flies over and

410
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Speaker 6: hits a tea kettle on one of the Austro Hungarian ships.

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Speaker 6: This is the story, is that they fire one shot

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Speaker 6: and it knocks the tea kettle off of the Austro

413
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Speaker 6: Hungarian ship. It's the flagship. It's carrying Joseph's flag, and

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Speaker 6: it immediately surrenders.

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Speaker 5: A peace treaty is then signed. Shortly thereafter. The war

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Speaker 5: lasted for one gunshot.

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Speaker 6: Wow, Postro Hungarian flagship says, stop the blockade, the shooting

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Speaker 6: this tea kettle, and I like to picture that like

419
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Speaker 6: they were aiming for it. You know, it might have

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Speaker 6: been an accident, but I was just like like some

421
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:35,359
Speaker 6: sniper around, you know, the teakett accountants like, actually, never mind,

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Speaker 6: I surrender.

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Speaker 2: That's amazing marchmanship, you know. At that point, I love

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Speaker 2: the idea too, in sort of the the badass ridiculous

425
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Speaker 2: history cinematic universe. I love the idea of you know,

426
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Speaker 2: an officer class type dude lifting up you know, the

427
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Speaker 2: kettle or something. Yeah, they getting the shot through it

428
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Speaker 2: and then say no, this is not cool. Other stuff

429
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Speaker 2: to do.

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Speaker 3: I want to have my tea.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, seeing some like fast cuts of like a like

432
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Speaker 6: a Kay Richie kind of thing of like.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, very looney tuns.

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Speaker 6: Yes, And so they surrender. They sign a peace treaty

435
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Speaker 6: that doesn't work out too well. The Austrian Netherlands is

436
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Speaker 6: still upset because they don't like that the Pope is

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Speaker 6: disagreeing with the emperor, and so Joseph the second is

438
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,560
Speaker 6: part of that peace treaty, is like, hey, how about this,

439
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,320
Speaker 6: you guys. The Dutch are holding Bavaria, which is in

440
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:34,520
Speaker 6: southern Germany and borders Austria, and I'm holding the Austrian Netherlands,

441
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 6: which is Belgium in borders. Like we have these disconnected empires, right,

442
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:40,720
Speaker 6: And he's like, how about I trade you the Austrian

443
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:42,199
Speaker 6: Netherlands for Bavaria.

444
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:43,080
Speaker 3: Seems fair?

445
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, And the Dutch You're like, no, that's weird. Why

446
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,880
Speaker 5: would we super odd?

447
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:50,560
Speaker 6: And everybody at the time writing about it is like,

448
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,800
Speaker 6: it's it's super weird that he offered to just trade

449
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,840
Speaker 6: regions with people with the dunge.

450
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:59,159
Speaker 2: They said, no, we have to be clear, just just

451
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:02,199
Speaker 2: to get it out there been Uh, this is not

452
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:06,320
Speaker 2: a period in history where in the public, the people

453
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:10,000
Speaker 2: who lived in those areas would get a survey or

454
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 2: a poll. No, no, okay.

455
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,240
Speaker 5: No, these are this is the business of Kings.

456
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 2: There we go. That's what Nola and I refer to

457
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:23,840
Speaker 2: it as. Whenever we're making up reasons to hang outside

458
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,520
Speaker 2: of work and we don't want to explain ourselves. You know,

459
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 2: my girlfriend's like, where are you guys going, I always say,

460
00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:33,360
Speaker 2: it's the business of Kings business strategized.

461
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:35,360
Speaker 4: We got to have a rap sessh to figure out

462
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:37,600
Speaker 4: our plan for world domination.

463
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:41,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, like our king stuff business of Kings. Save the receipts,

464
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:42,960
Speaker 6: write them off on your taxes.

465
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:47,800
Speaker 2: King moves, King moves hashtag. But so okay, So this

466
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:51,960
Speaker 2: is not just a weird flex for the people the

467
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:55,040
Speaker 2: common in the region. This is a weird flex for

468
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:57,159
Speaker 2: all international observers.

469
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 6: Yes, everybody thinks it's weird that he made this offer

470
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 6: because gets out or it gets out that he offered

471
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:06,679
Speaker 6: this trade and it's weird. So okay, foreign policy is

472
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,760
Speaker 6: not going well for him. He travels around, he goes

473
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 6: to he goes to Paris and Rome in Moscow and

474
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,480
Speaker 6: he tries to make nice with the Pope. It doesn't

475
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 6: work out, Okay, So he's Holland doesn't like him. He

476
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:22,840
Speaker 6: borders Prussia and they've just had these two big wars

477
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,959
Speaker 6: with Prussia. Frederick the greats there. They had the War

478
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,960
Speaker 6: of Uster in succession, they had the Seven Years War.

479
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:30,440
Speaker 6: Prussia is powerful. Prussia is like basically like the heart

480
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 6: of present day Germany. They're tough guys, they're great, great soldiers,

481
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:37,200
Speaker 6: and their share of border and they want to take

482
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:40,320
Speaker 6: some land from Austria. So he's got that problem too. Okay,

483
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 6: So you know what he wants to Joseph the Second

484
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,880
Speaker 6: wants to be remembered as this great ruler and yes,

485
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 6: I've made these great changes at home, but I need

486
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 6: to do some big foreign policy thing in order to

487
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:53,320
Speaker 6: be remembered as this great military mind and diplomat and

488
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:54,400
Speaker 6: the greatest king ever.

489
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 2: Okay, my legacy. Yes he's thinking about.

490
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:01,359
Speaker 6: Yes, he's he's inheriting from his mother, who was a

491
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:05,760
Speaker 6: very powerful and very well respected woman in Europe, and

492
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 6: he wants he's got big shoes to fill, and he

493
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,359
Speaker 6: wants to do some great things to be remembered. Okay,

494
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 6: so Holland and Pussa aren't working out, so he makes

495
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:17,600
Speaker 6: it an alliance with Russia, who had been Austria's friend

496
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 6: during the Seven Years War. And Russia at the time

497
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:25,040
Speaker 6: is ruled by Catherine the Great, who is the second

498
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 6: of the powerful, badass women that we were going to

499
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:32,120
Speaker 6: talk about in the episode today. She is super tough

500
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 6: Lady Catherine the Great is extremely tough, and she was

501
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:38,040
Speaker 6: born in Germany. She probably reminds him of his mom, honestly,

502
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:43,000
Speaker 6: if I had to guess, But she is like she's

503
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,200
Speaker 6: meeting allies because, like you said, the Ottoman Empire borders

504
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:49,439
Speaker 6: him to the east and they border Russia, and Russia

505
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:53,640
Speaker 6: wants those warm water ports in Crimea and the Mediterranean

506
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,960
Speaker 6: and the Black Sea, and so they want to go

507
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,760
Speaker 6: to war with the Ottoman Empire. The Ottoman Empire at

508
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:04,320
Speaker 6: this time spans most of the Islamic world, huge amount

509
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:07,520
Speaker 6: of land, huge number of people. But by this point

510
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:10,920
Speaker 6: seventeen forties, you know, it's they've got the Sultans they've

511
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:13,240
Speaker 6: got they've got money, they've got troops, but there's this

512
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:15,480
Speaker 6: the feeling that things are maybe starting to crumble a

513
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 6: little bit and maybe there's some weakness there.

514
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 2: They're getting some they're getting they're losing some technological progress.

515
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 6: Yes, yes, the Enlightenment is coming and they there's yeah,

516
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 6: there's a lot of technological development happening in Europe that

517
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:35,920
Speaker 6: isn't being shared, Like military technology is happening in Europe

518
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:39,639
Speaker 6: that is not being shared with the Turks. And so

519
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,840
Speaker 6: they're starting to feel like maybe we can take some

520
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 6: land from these guys. Catherine R Great has built up

521
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 6: Russia to this very powerful military, and she wants to

522
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 6: she wants to take lands from the Ottomans and so,

523
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 6: and this whole time period is all very like I

524
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,359
Speaker 6: always think of like siev Tu or something, you know,

525
00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:57,479
Speaker 6: like we just make life.

526
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:01,639
Speaker 3: I gotta take just came up on our recent conversation.

527
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:03,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, just like I think it's one town because it's

528
00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 5: it's worth a lot of money. I went to city.

529
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 3: For the record. I still haven't cracked it yet, yeah,

530
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:10,080
Speaker 3: but it's on my list.

531
00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:12,919
Speaker 2: You're gonna have a great time, though. Are you playing

532
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 2: Civilization seven yet? Ben?

533
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:17,680
Speaker 5: No, I haven't had a lot of time for games recently.

534
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:21,119
Speaker 6: It's one of those ones where like I, uh, you know,

535
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 6: if I I got to finish this project I'm working

536
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,240
Speaker 6: on and then I can start a new game.

537
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:25,880
Speaker 3: But like if I.

538
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:28,720
Speaker 2: Started the door, if you open the door.

539
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:30,640
Speaker 5: I get sucked in. I like it too much, you.

540
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,679
Speaker 2: Know, I love I think what we're saying here is

541
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:38,159
Speaker 2: we we love the comparison because there is a great

542
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 2: deal of geopolitical calculation here, right. Russia then, as now

543
00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:50,280
Speaker 2: honestly is eternally searching for a warm water porch. So

544
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:55,159
Speaker 2: it makes sense that these rulers would be pushing on

545
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:56,440
Speaker 2: the Ottomans if they can't.

546
00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:00,399
Speaker 6: Yes, so great, this all works out great for Joseph.

547
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,639
Speaker 6: He signs the peace treaty. He goes and visits Catherine

548
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,240
Speaker 6: in Moscow. A couple of times they sign a peace

549
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:08,160
Speaker 6: treaty or an alliance, and as part of that alliance,

550
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:13,840
Speaker 6: Catherine takes the Crimea for Russia cough cough, and they

551
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:18,480
Speaker 6: partitioned Poland up between the between Russia and Austrian Hungary.

552
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:21,000
Speaker 6: Because that's what happens to Poland for the next couple

553
00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 6: hundred years. In this time of time, Okay, that's great,

554
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 6: except and you know, the Turks are even better. It's

555
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 6: even better to be fighting the Turks than it is

556
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:33,320
Speaker 6: to be fighting the Prussians and the Dutch, because the

557
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 6: Turks are Muslims and their enemies, and we're not fighting

558
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 6: other Christian kingdoms and causing problems with the Pope and

559
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:40,960
Speaker 6: all of this stuff. So it's totally cool. Austrians have

560
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:44,520
Speaker 6: been fighting the Turks since like the fifteen hundreds. You know,

561
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 6: uh Suliman the Magnificent besieged Vienna at one point in

562
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 6: the sixteen eighties, you know, so they're they're they're great enemies,

563
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:55,560
Speaker 6: and it'll be awesome to have a war with them.

564
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:57,240
Speaker 5: It'll really be how Emperor.

565
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 6: Joseph the Second is going to make his name as

566
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:02,600
Speaker 6: a military genie. He is going to march east from

567
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,320
Speaker 6: uh He's made his plan with Catherine. She's going to

568
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:07,840
Speaker 6: march south from Russia. He's going to march east. At

569
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 6: this time, the Turks control most of Romania and you know,

570
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 6: the former Yugoslavia. They can control a lot of the Balkans,

571
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 6: and there are elements from the Balkans that are like

572
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 6: you've got a Serbian regiment in the Austro Hungarian Empire.

573
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 5: That's like, hey, we'll we'll fight.

574
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 6: Let's go get Belgrade back because Serbian people are there

575
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 6: and the Turks rule it and they're making them all

576
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:32,160
Speaker 6: be Muslim and they're doing bad stuff. So like let's

577
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 6: let's free our homelands, and so great, this big army

578
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 6: is assembled. This call goes out and it's Austrians and

579
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:43,640
Speaker 6: it's Hungarians, which do not share language, but they are

580
00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 6: part of the same empire. You've got Germans from the

581
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:50,040
Speaker 6: various German principalities that are part of the Austro Hungarian Empire.

582
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 5: At this time.

583
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:54,080
Speaker 6: You've got Italians, like Northern Italy, there's some Northern Italy

584
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 6: happening in the Austro Hungarian Empire. And then you've got

585
00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,720
Speaker 6: these guys that are looking to reclaim their lands.

586
00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 5: You've got Romanians, You've got.

587
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:08,560
Speaker 6: Croats, Bosnians, and Serbians all working together, and so everybody

588
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 6: is kind of united.

589
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 5: Under like let's get the Turks.

590
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 6: Great, this seems good, all right, So they also you

591
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 6: kind of have to keep up appearances at this time period.

592
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 6: So the plan is that Russia and Austria will just

593
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 6: f with the Turks until they get mad and attack,

594
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,080
Speaker 6: and then they can say, look, we were attacked, so

595
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 6: they do that.

596
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:35,959
Speaker 2: What's there provoked. Our fancy word for that is what

597
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:37,960
Speaker 2: bellis causi or something like that.

598
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 6: Yes, yes, so you and see if it's the equivalent

599
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:44,160
Speaker 6: of like you open a you open diplomatic relations with

600
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 6: a foreign king and then you like demand three of

601
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 6: his cities for nothing, and then he gets mad and

602
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 6: Claire's war on you.

603
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 5: That's basically what happens here.

604
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 2: And you're like, whoa, these guys came to us.

605
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, I didn't do anything.

606
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,760
Speaker 6: They marched into Mayorland first. So the Turks attack the Russians,

607
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:59,160
Speaker 6: and then Austria Hungary's allies with the Russians, so they

608
00:30:59,160 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 6: got to attack.

609
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 2: That's why we call it Department of Defense exactly.

610
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:04,040
Speaker 5: We're under attack.

611
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:09,320
Speaker 6: Okay, So seventeen eighty seven war is declared between Austria

612
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 6: Hungary and Russia on one side and then the Turks

613
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 6: on the other side. Now Joseph has this big army

614
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 6: and he's about to march them out into battle with

615
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:20,720
Speaker 6: the Turks. And the Turks they have a lot of guys,

616
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:23,520
Speaker 6: you know, they have a big army. They're extremely powerful. Still,

617
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:25,959
Speaker 6: so when he assembles this big army and marches them

618
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 6: to the border with the Turks, Frederick the Great marches

619
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:33,400
Speaker 6: a huge army to his border on the western side

620
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:38,000
Speaker 6: of Austria Hungary, and all of these Catholic people from

621
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:41,720
Speaker 6: his kingdom that don't agree with him, they start getting

622
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,240
Speaker 6: a little bit more organized in a rebellion or a

623
00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 6: revolt type of situation, and they say, oh, Frederick, come

624
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:47,719
Speaker 6: help us.

625
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:49,960
Speaker 5: And so now he's got a problem.

626
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:51,400
Speaker 6: March is a huge army to his border, and he's

627
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 6: got to go back and march them back to these

628
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 6: cities to put down these rebellions, or to at least

629
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 6: discourage these rebellions and discourage Frederick. So he doesn't actually

630
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:01,240
Speaker 6: get marching until a couple months after he wanted to,

631
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 6: because he's got to go back and deal with the

632
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:07,200
Speaker 6: Austrian Netherlands and the unrest and the Prussians, and the

633
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,560
Speaker 6: Prussians keep talking to the Turks and they're like, maybe

634
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:11,680
Speaker 6: we should be allies because I actually don't want Austria

635
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 6: Hungary to take them take your lands either, I like

636
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:16,000
Speaker 6: for everyone.

637
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:19,080
Speaker 2: Because we're an audio podcast, I want to point out, then, uh,

638
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 2: you you stroke your chin in the perfect way people

639
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:29,680
Speaker 2: would conspire and then you know maybe these so there,

640
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:34,680
Speaker 2: so we see this, we see internal descent, yes, right,

641
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 2: we see internal chaos. We see again the problem of

642
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:43,640
Speaker 2: logistics because every I almost a monster. Every army marches

643
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 2: on its stomach. Right, So, yes, we're losing, uh, the

644
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 2: equivalent of millions of dollars losing time.

645
00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 5: We're losing the morale. You're losing people.

646
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:57,600
Speaker 6: You're losing people are deserting, right, and you have this

647
00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:01,240
Speaker 6: is all the kind of paint the picture of you

648
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 6: have this huge.

649
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:05,280
Speaker 5: Army that is not homogeneous.

650
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:07,000
Speaker 6: It is made up of all different people with all

651
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:09,560
Speaker 6: different beliefs, who have different languages everything. We've got this

652
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:12,280
Speaker 6: huge army. It's ready to fight the Turks. They're united

653
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 6: in that we're gonna fight the Turks, but they don't

654
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:17,400
Speaker 6: agree with each other. And so in the context of

655
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 6: a friendly fire incident, that's an important piece to set up.

656
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:21,480
Speaker 2: I feel like, oh good call.

657
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, for sure, although it's like there's nothing like a

658
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:27,360
Speaker 4: common animey to bring folks together, but in this case

659
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 4: it was. There were additional complications for sure.

660
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 6: Yes, okay, So Joseph the second marches out and he

661
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 6: declares like I am a military genius.

662
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:37,320
Speaker 5: I am in charge of the army.

663
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:40,280
Speaker 6: I'm gonna ride out by myself, the enlightened, desperate at

664
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 6: the front of the group.

665
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:42,800
Speaker 5: Mozart, you're coming with me? No, not really.

666
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:45,840
Speaker 3: I love it when they ride out in the battle

667
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:49,080
Speaker 3: like that, thinking they're truly like invincible. Like just those

668
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:54,440
Speaker 3: moments of Hubris just always give me a little bit

669
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 3: of shine freud. There's nothing wrong with that.

670
00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 5: You know.

671
00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 6: I was reading one account of it, though, and I

672
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,360
Speaker 6: feel kind of like I was reading it and I

673
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:03,160
Speaker 6: was like, yeah, and he wasn't a military genius, and

674
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 6: he wasn't this, and he was like old and blah

675
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:07,160
Speaker 6: blah blah, and I was like, looked it up and

676
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 6: he was like forty seven. And as we were recording

677
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:13,359
Speaker 6: for the day, as we're recording, today is the day

678
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:19,480
Speaker 6: of the recording. Today's my forty fifth birthday. No way, really, yeah, yeah.

679
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:21,280
Speaker 5: Thank you, thank you.

680
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:25,880
Speaker 2: But now you have never strolled out onto a theatre

681
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:30,560
Speaker 2: of combat and, in a burst of humility, declared yourself

682
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:31,680
Speaker 2: a military genius.

683
00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:34,160
Speaker 6: I suppose that's true. It is a little old to

684
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 6: start your military career. I feel like age are like

685
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:40,960
Speaker 6: generals and colonels and stuff.

686
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 5: Look man retired, ye twenty years right.

687
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 2: We practice we practice positive aggressive validation on this show.

688
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 5: So, however, it would be weird if I was like,

689
00:34:55,080 --> 00:35:00,120
Speaker 5: I'm in charge of the army, now follow me. I'm

690
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 5: a little after that.

691
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 2: I think we would have to have Yeah, yeah, we be,

692
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,799
Speaker 2: we be hanging out. We would We might not be

693
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:10,919
Speaker 2: on the front lines with you, Ben, but Max, Nole

694
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:13,360
Speaker 2: and I would be, you know, on the scene subscribing.

695
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 4: I'm always on the lookover someone to blindly follow into battle.

696
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 4: You know, it's just a bucket list item of mine.

697
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:23,040
Speaker 4: So maybe you can make that happen.

698
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 5: Well, let's see how that turns out.

699
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:30,240
Speaker 2: Before that, let's get a parable and a precedent. Hold

700
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:34,319
Speaker 2: the phone, or rather hold the hussar. This turned out

701
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:38,560
Speaker 2: to be a ongoing series, a two part series. Nol.

702
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:41,120
Speaker 2: I'm just having a great time. It's not just because

703
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:42,520
Speaker 2: Ben is named Ben.

704
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:43,359
Speaker 3: That guy.

705
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 2: This guy's amazing.

706
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:47,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, I really love the Bens on this series. The

707
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:48,080
Speaker 3: guys are killing.

708
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:52,120
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, we're killing it as a group effort.

709
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:55,600
Speaker 2: We've got the We've got the Noles, We've got the Maxes.

710
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:57,680
Speaker 2: Speaking of well, please killing it.

711
00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 3: The term with no friendly fire here, y'all.

712
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, Oh, We're I like that.

713
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:10,040
Speaker 2: That's something we referenced on Daily's Eeitgeist earlier. We're exploring

714
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:13,080
Speaker 2: it together and we couldn't do it without the help

715
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:17,080
Speaker 2: of our amazing team, starting with our super producer mister

716
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 2: Max Williams.

717
00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:23,839
Speaker 3: Ooh, Max Williams. Max voised it on his own Petard Williams.

718
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:28,759
Speaker 2: Max the Hussah Williams shout out also to his biological

719
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:33,439
Speaker 2: brother who is back in town, our bespoke composer Alex.

720
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:36,839
Speaker 4: Williams Bespoke Indeed Us thanks to Chris Frasciotis and He's

721
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:40,000
Speaker 4: Jeff Coates here and Spira, Jonathan Strickland, The quiz Or A. J. Bahamas,

722
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:43,120
Speaker 4: Jacob's The Puzzler and Ben Big Thanks to.

723
00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:46,920
Speaker 2: You, man. I love I love hanging out with AJ

724
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 2: Bahamas and I love that We're never gonna explain that nickname.

725
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:53,320
Speaker 2: Check out The Puzzler. Also check out our Rude Dudes

726
00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 2: of Ridiculous Crime and Noel. Thanks to you. I can't

727
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:57,080
Speaker 2: wait to hear part two.

728
00:36:57,560 --> 00:37:07,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, let's see next time, folks. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,

729
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:11,239
Speaker 4: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen

730
00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:12,360
Speaker 4: to your favorite shows.