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Speaker 1: This is Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous in Depth.

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Speaker 1: We've got Matt James on the Almost Famous podcast. He's

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Speaker 1: here to talk about his new book coming out Tuesday

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Speaker 1: May third, called First Impressions. We're also here to talk

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Speaker 1: about everything going on in Matt's life. It's a lot.

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Speaker 1: I follow him on Instagram. I'm probably one of his

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Speaker 1: biggest supporters on Instagram. I don't think I miss a story.

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Speaker 1: The only thing is I feel like I also can

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Speaker 1: never figure out where in the world he is or

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Speaker 1: where in the world he is going. Uh. Matt, thanks

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Speaker 1: for joining us, Thank you for having me. Uh. I

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Speaker 1: feel like there's since I've talked last talk to you both,

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Speaker 1: so much has changed. I mean, Ashley's had a son,

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Speaker 1: You've gotten married, your your beard is infringing on my

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Speaker 1: beard now. Um, it's a lot more patchy, buddy, a

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Speaker 1: lot more. Let's let's start there with that beard. Were

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Speaker 1: you offended at all that people wanted you to shave

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Speaker 1: it so bad? Um? No, Because you know, people get

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Speaker 1: comfortable with things like like once you look a certain

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Speaker 1: type of way, or you getting a routine, and then

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Speaker 1: you change it on people, it throws it off. And

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Speaker 1: there was a lot that went into like me growing

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Speaker 1: that beard and just being you know, my own person

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Speaker 1: outside of like this person who I felt like everyone

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Speaker 1: wanted me to be and expected me to be. So

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Speaker 1: like that beard was a representation of just like I'm

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Speaker 1: living my life outside of like how it's been supposed

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Speaker 1: to go through this experience, like I'm no longer conforming

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Speaker 1: to what I'm supposed to be doing. And it was nice. Yeo.

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Speaker 1: I knew that there was symbolism to that beard. I

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Speaker 1: was like, this is the way for this man to

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Speaker 1: turn into something else, to like hide behind a blanket

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Speaker 1: or something like that. Yeah, pretty much. It was great.

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Speaker 1: The I grew my beard out and it doesn't even

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Speaker 1: take me two weeks for people to start saying you

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Speaker 1: should shave Ben, you don't look good. And then I

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Speaker 1: shave it. So we talked about yeah, me standing up

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Speaker 1: for myself. Nah, I just shave it. I just trim

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Speaker 1: it up. Matt. You uh, you have had a lot

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Speaker 1: going on. You said it best. I mean it was

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Speaker 1: it was how we're going to broach This whole podcast

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Speaker 1: is talking about all the changes that have happened in

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Speaker 1: your life and in our lives. The growth that's happened

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Speaker 1: over last year. One of those big things for you. Uh,

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Speaker 1: but it was happening when we were talking last two

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Speaker 1: is you and Rachel are going strong? Uh still to

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Speaker 1: this day, how is that going? Just for anybody curious,

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Speaker 1: it's been it's been incredible, Ben, I mean just being

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Speaker 1: able to live our lives outside of everyone's expectations has

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Speaker 1: been able. It allowed us to establish a really strong

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Speaker 1: foundation and get to know each other and learn about

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Speaker 1: each other and just grow in a way that it's

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Speaker 1: hard to do when you're trying to please everybod idea

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Speaker 1: else and do the things that you know all the

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Speaker 1: other couples are doing and being this circle and that circle,

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Speaker 1: and go to this event like we just do our

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Speaker 1: own thing. And it's been so liberating and freeing in

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Speaker 1: in every sense that you can imagine, just to not

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Speaker 1: have to worry about what people think after going through

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Speaker 1: what we've been through. And um, we do practically everything together,

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Speaker 1: which allows us to spend a lot of time together

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Speaker 1: and just get to know each other on a more

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Speaker 1: personal level. So, uh, it couldn't be going stronger right now?

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Speaker 1: You know. I don't want to focus on a lot

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Speaker 1: of the the beginning of your relationship because you guys

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Speaker 1: are in such a great place right now. But I

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Speaker 1: do have one question that lingers, and that was us

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Speaker 1: coming here to this podcast after your finale, you know,

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Speaker 1: the live show, we all said no way that they

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Speaker 1: have a future. You know, I thought that there could be,

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Speaker 1: but the way that he acted towards her, he was

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Speaker 1: pretty cold. It just doesn't seem like there's ever going

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Speaker 1: to be anything there. Again, how did you get over

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Speaker 1: that hump? And how did you do it so fast?

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Speaker 1: Because it was only about a month later that we

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Speaker 1: saw you guys together. Um, what you didn't see on

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Speaker 1: the final rose was that you know, we left the

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Speaker 1: stage hand in hand. Yeah, really well, but what was

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Speaker 1: going on before the run and show? Um, we we

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Speaker 1: we weren't speaking and when you went out, when we

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Speaker 1: both went out there, like anyone who's been um and

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Speaker 1: in my seat before and that you know environment, it's

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Speaker 1: there's not a lot of room for uh, you have

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Speaker 1: to stick to the script. And there wasn't a lot

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Speaker 1: that we could have discussed that would have progressed our

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Speaker 1: relationship on the stage. And there was I feel like

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Speaker 1: things that the show wanted and things that um, you know,

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Speaker 1: there's things that the show wanted out of that moment

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Speaker 1: that you know, we we were done given um control

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Speaker 1: of our narrative and lives to be exploited for the

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Speaker 1: most part, so I understand. Yeah, we just we just

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Speaker 1: had enough, so we weren't budgeting on anything that we

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Speaker 1: wanted to share and had to say. And after that moment,

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Speaker 1: it was just like we could finally just be at rest, like,

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Speaker 1: all right, let's go figure this out. And UM it

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Speaker 1: took me going through a lot of things to get

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Speaker 1: to the point where, um, I was ready to admit

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Speaker 1: that I was in the wrong on a lot of things,

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Speaker 1: and Rachel was very loving and understanding and accepting my

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Speaker 1: apology and getting back on track with our relationship. And

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Speaker 1: that was literally a year ago, like a couple of

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Speaker 1: days ago. So we hit our one year mark and

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Speaker 1: it's been smooth sailing, and you know, there's things that

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Speaker 1: we go through that we have conversations about, but it's

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Speaker 1: all growth and it's all good. Oh. I'm so happy

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Speaker 1: for you guys. That's awesome. I feel sense of relief

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Speaker 1: for you. I can just see it on your face. Yeah, No,

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Speaker 1: it's nice. Like I, like I said earlier, just nice

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Speaker 1: not having that the expectations of of other people's relationships

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Speaker 1: and whatnot. Honest looking back now, though, do you feel

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Speaker 1: like in your relationship is very strong? It's very fun

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Speaker 1: to watch people enjoy watching it. You guys have a

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Speaker 1: good time together. You eat a lot of stuff together.

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Speaker 1: And do you do you feel like part of that

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Speaker 1: time period helped you to grow closer together or build

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Speaker 1: a I mean, I'd like to think of maybe building

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Speaker 1: like a trust in the two of you coming out

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Speaker 1: of it, or how would you explain what that time

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Speaker 1: that was difficult? It was difficult for a lot of

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Speaker 1: people that we're watching it very closely. What did it

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Speaker 1: do for the two of you? When you're you are

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Speaker 1: the two people people are watching. I mean, I truly

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Speaker 1: can't imagine a couple having to go through more conflict? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think I think conflict turmoil. Ultimately, uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's been or break and it really bent um our

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Speaker 1: relationship and um it ultimately made it stronger though, because

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Speaker 1: we went through things that I feel like, you know,

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Speaker 1: couples don't experience, and you know, five or ten years

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Speaker 1: of being together sometimes ever, um and being battle tested

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Speaker 1: means a lot because we both know how we're gonna

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Speaker 1: respond when adversity comes. And you know, Rachiel trusted me,

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Speaker 1: and uh, I've I've always respected that, you know from

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Speaker 1: the very beginning when um, we would have conversations. Uh,

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Speaker 1: she just trusted me. And it's it's it's hard to

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Speaker 1: to blindly trust someone when you're in her shoes and

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Speaker 1: you have no certainty and no reason to trust what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying to the next person because it's seems like

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Speaker 1: everyone's being told the same thing and just being built

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Speaker 1: on trust is the biggest thing. And it's taken um

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Speaker 1: some time for me to regain that with her, but

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Speaker 1: we're we're in a really good spot now and um,

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Speaker 1: now I gotta work on being a better communicator because

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Speaker 1: she always pulled it out of me, like whenever she's

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Speaker 1: feeling some type of way, we like address it on

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Speaker 1: the spot, like you feel like you're this, I feel

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Speaker 1: like this, I feel like that. And it's and it's

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Speaker 1: still like a process for me to to get to

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Speaker 1: that point where I'm just like openly like, yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: where I'm at. Um, So the communications the next thing

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Speaker 1: I'm working on with her, and just like meeting her

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Speaker 1: where she's at you'll get it, because I was, of

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Speaker 1: course the Rachel in this scenario where everything I was

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Speaker 1: feeling it was like in Jared space, and he would

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Speaker 1: stay silent about things for days, and I'd be like,

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Speaker 1: I know there's something up. I know there's something up,

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Speaker 1: and he just wouldn't admit to it. And now he

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Speaker 1: comes home and he's just like, blood, these are my problems. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm getting there. I'm getting there. Actually teach me your ways, guys.

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Speaker 1: It's a conversation, Jessica, I have very often, is you

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Speaker 1: ain't talking, I'm like, I don't know what to say.

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Speaker 1: Uh um, very very common. Um. Hey, I have a

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Speaker 1: random question. And and I know a lot of this

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Speaker 1: is mentioned in your book, this part will not be

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Speaker 1: I don't think you know. When you came onto the show,

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Speaker 1: you were a friend too many. You still are a

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Speaker 1: friend to many, just as many. But your life was like,

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Speaker 1: definitely like a bachelor life. You were on a boat,

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Speaker 1: you were in Florida, you were in New York, you

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Speaker 1: were traveling, eating, doing all this stuff, hanging out with

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Speaker 1: your buddies, filming weird videos, doing all the things that

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Speaker 1: friends do together. And then you go on the show,

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Speaker 1: come off the show. You've got a girl who feels

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Speaker 1: like very much I won't put words to you, but

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Speaker 1: feels like one of your closest friends, maybe your best friend.

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Speaker 1: You can say that if you'd like, and that not

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Speaker 1: that your boys are neglact did but I'm here too,

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm saying this all from experience, right, I'm married now, Ye,

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Speaker 1: how how has that changed for you? Because originally when

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Speaker 1: we first started following you, it was all a bunch

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Speaker 1: of dude content and now it's you and Rachel content. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so like, how is that changed for you? Oh? Man,

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Speaker 1: that's a great question. Ben. Uh. You know, you know

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Speaker 1: what's funny you said that, you know, you mentioned best friends,

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Speaker 1: and um, early on in our relationship, Rachel referred to

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Speaker 1: me as her best friend, and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that's awesome, like that you feel that, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean? I was I didn't. I didn't uh reciprocate

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Speaker 1: that because like my I've never had a girl who

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Speaker 1: was the best friend, you know, like my best friend's

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Speaker 1: always been like a teammate or you know, and you

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Speaker 1: do best friend things together, you know, like you go

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Speaker 1: out and you do travel and and then as I'm

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Speaker 1: thinking about what you do with the best friend. Like

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Speaker 1: that's what I was doing with Rachel, Like she was

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Speaker 1: my best friend and it was like okay to date

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Speaker 1: and be with someone who is your best friend. And

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Speaker 1: it kind of changes the way that I thought about relationship. Um,

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Speaker 1: and I always thought that you should be friends with

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Speaker 1: someone before. That's just my thesis. Like I think a

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Speaker 1: strong relationship is like build on a friendship and then

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Speaker 1: you know, you see the things that you like in

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Speaker 1: that person. And that's just my opinion. But UM, I

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Speaker 1: was reluctant to call Rachel my best friend because I

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Speaker 1: just felt like that title was reserved for like a

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Speaker 1: guy or like for like some other But yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: Rachel is my best friend, and um, it's fun to

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Speaker 1: do life with that person that knows you the best.

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Speaker 1: And um, and you can go to about anything. Uh

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Speaker 1: and you're traveling and your your highs and your lows

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Speaker 1: like it's it's it's awesome. So like, yeah, the content

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Speaker 1: is definitely gonna change because you know, um, friends are

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Speaker 1: forever and there, but they're different seasons in your life.

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Speaker 1: And when uh, where I'm at in my life, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm not doing the things that I was doing before.

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Speaker 1: I was in a relationship. You know, a lot of

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Speaker 1: that time spent, uh has now spent with Rachel and

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Speaker 1: doing things, uh that I would want to do with

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Speaker 1: someone that you know, I'm hoping to marry one day.

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Speaker 1: And um, the people who are in my life who

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Speaker 1: are in that same trajectory understand it because you know, uh,

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Speaker 1: they're in serious relationships, and the ones who aren't, you know,

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Speaker 1: have a hard time kind of getting that because they've

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Speaker 1: never been in the serious relationship. So uh, it's it's

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Speaker 1: a it's a it's a difficult line to balance for

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Speaker 1: people who don't get it, But for people who get

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Speaker 1: it's fun because you get to do things as a

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Speaker 1: couple and you know, we look forward to like those

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Speaker 1: couples things now. So does Tyler Cameron get it or

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Speaker 1: does he not get it? Tyler gets it because he's

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Speaker 1: been in he's been in serious relationships like I had,

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Speaker 1: Like he was in more serious relationships than I had

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Speaker 1: been in up until this point. It, Um, so he

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Speaker 1: gets it. And when he's in a relationship he kind

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Speaker 1: of uh had he kind of goes into the same pattern.

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Speaker 1: You know, you you travel with that person, you meet,

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Speaker 1: that person's family, spend time with that person's family. UM,

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Speaker 1: so yeah, he understands, and I think most of my

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Speaker 1: friends do. M that's beautiful. Ben recently interviewed Tyler, and

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Speaker 1: it seems like Tyler like he loves the Hollywood life.

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Speaker 1: You know, he'll always like I like to involve that,

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Speaker 1: but he wants to kind of have Florida be his

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Speaker 1: home base, build houses with his dad, which I think

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Speaker 1: is super cool. So where do you envisioned you and

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Speaker 1: Rachel ending up? And I imagine that you envisioned your

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Speaker 1: future with Rachel Rachel races in the room. So I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna have to tread lightly on this question. Okay. UM

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Speaker 1: so beforehand, you know, uh, living in New York was

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Speaker 1: was incredible because I worked in commercial real estate. Um,

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Speaker 1: I established friends up there. And when you live in

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Speaker 1: New York, like so many people come through New York,

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Speaker 1: so you don't really ever have to leave. It's like

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Speaker 1: no one's like when I lived in Pittsburgh, no one

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Speaker 1: was making their way through Pittsburgh. It's like, hey man,

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Speaker 1: I'm casually Pittsburg. Like I didn't get those phone calls.

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Speaker 1: But being in New York, I got this all the time.

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Speaker 1: So I love the social aspect of New York. But

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Speaker 1: with everything that's gone on with you know, the COVID pandemic,

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Speaker 1: people changing their working patterns and they're uh desire to

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Speaker 1: live in cities like this. Uh. It's changed my view

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Speaker 1: on how I wanna, you know, go about spending the

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Speaker 1: rest of my life. And I want to be somewhere warm,

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Speaker 1: because when I was quarantining, I love Jupiter. Jupiter is great,

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Speaker 1: but it's also like an older people's village. You know,

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Speaker 1: I need more livelihood. I need uh, I need something

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Speaker 1: that you know has an economics center the it Uh

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Speaker 1: you're going to be close to the pulse of business.

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Speaker 1: And the closest thing to that in Florida is Miami.

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Speaker 1: And that's where I moved. I moved to Miami a

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Speaker 1: couple of months ago from New York. And you know,

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Speaker 1: I get to reap the benefits of being close to

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Speaker 1: the New York. You know, it's it's it's become a

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Speaker 1: tech chub, and it's become a crypto hub and two

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Speaker 1: things that I'm really interested in. And and so Miami

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Speaker 1: has been incredible. I got the water right there and

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Speaker 1: got traveled back to North Carolina is not very Uh,

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Speaker 1: it's it's not very difficult because you've got Florida, You've

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Speaker 1: got Fort Lardale Airport, Miami Airport. Um, the weather is great. Um.

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Speaker 1: The plan was always for me to get back down

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Speaker 1: to Florida. And Rachel Uh initially was not a fan

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Speaker 1: of the idea because like many people, when they think

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Speaker 1: of Miami, they think of like, yeah, like clubs, like

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Speaker 1: you know, staying out there. But you know, that's not

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Speaker 1: my vibe. And I think as she spent time with

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Speaker 1: me down there, she's realized that, you know, it's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: like there is a residential side to living in Miami.

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Speaker 1: And when we leave now, and you can ask Rachel

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Speaker 1: about this, when we leave now, we will like we

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Speaker 1: had to go to Minneapolis or something New York for something,

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Speaker 1: She'll be like, I missed, I miss Miami, like, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I need to get this on record. That's

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Speaker 1: a big victory for you, man. Yeah. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if it's a long term, but for for the for

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Speaker 1: the right now, I love it down there and I

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Speaker 1: could see myself living there nice. Well, hey, we need

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Speaker 1: to wrap here with you. And I don't want to

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Speaker 1: leave this without mentioning two things. And I'm just for

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Speaker 1: sake of time, I'm gonna allow you to speak on

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Speaker 1: them as as much as you want. Your book. First impressions,

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Speaker 1: why should people read it? What should they look forward to?

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Speaker 1: Why did you write it? Would probably be the questions

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Speaker 1: there and then ABC Food Tours, what's going on with that?

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Speaker 1: Where does that stand? And where do you hope that goes? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so the book, uh, you know selfish that I initially

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Speaker 1: started in the book because I was frustrated with my

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Speaker 1: time on The Bachelor. I was I didn't feel like

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Speaker 1: it left people with a great representation of what I

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Speaker 1: was about, what I was interested in, and what brought

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Speaker 1: me to this point. And so that's what I set

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Speaker 1: out to provide for people who had all these questions about,

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Speaker 1: you know, who I was. And as I began to

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Speaker 1: collect these stories and put it to paper, and I

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Speaker 1: started to realize that a lot of people could benefit

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Speaker 1: from the things that I've been through, and uh it

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Speaker 1: became a you know, a celebration story and uh and uh,

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Speaker 1: something that a lot of people I feel I could

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Speaker 1: relate to. There's a lot of themes in my life

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Speaker 1: that a lot of people have been through, from the

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Speaker 1: family aspect, from my relationship with my dad, being in

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Speaker 1: a multi racial relationship. Uh, the risk that I've taken professionally,

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Speaker 1: you name it. And I think a lot of people

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Speaker 1: I think that they experienced things by themselves. But what

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Speaker 1: I realized through the Bachelor experiences when you share with

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Speaker 1: people and you're vulnerable about where you're at in life,

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Speaker 1: what you've been through, and what you're going through, a

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Speaker 1: lot of people are going through similar things and it

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Speaker 1: allows them to be like, hey, I'm I'm actually I've

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Speaker 1: been through that, Like let me offer this advice. So like,

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Speaker 1: I'm hoping that when people read this book, they're able

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Speaker 1: to see themselves and me and my experiences and pull,

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Speaker 1: you know, strength and energy from the things that I've

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Speaker 1: been through and be a champion for them going forward. Um.

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Speaker 1: So that was a really big part of why I

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Speaker 1: wrote the book and why I'm excited for people to

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Speaker 1: have it in their hands. Matt, Can we please, please

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Speaker 1: please have you back on when after I read the book,

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Speaker 1: because I could have so many more questions after I

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Speaker 1: read the book, and I want to like further this

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Speaker 1: discussion so much more. Absolutely, there's some good tea in there,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm sure there is, because you gave us

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Speaker 1: the t about walking off the stage hand in hand,

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Speaker 1: and I feel like there's gonna be a lot more

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Speaker 1: of that. So we're gonna have to, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: talk it out. And now, okay, let's talk about ABC

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Speaker 1: Food real quick. First impressions come out May third, and

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Speaker 1: so it's I'm assuming it's everywhere you buy books, right, yes,

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Speaker 1: and there's an audiobook every every which way you can

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Speaker 1: you can get to information. We've got to cover great Okay,

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Speaker 1: ABC Food Tours. ABC Food Tours. So another thing I

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Speaker 1: was hoping that you know, the show would want to

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Speaker 1: highlight and dive a little bit deeper into because it's

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Speaker 1: a lot of who I am. You know, I put

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Speaker 1: a lot of time and resources into that, uh, that

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Speaker 1: nonprofit that um you know, we we we very quickly

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Speaker 1: brushed over and we took a little bit more time

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Speaker 1: and things that I didn't think were was important. So

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of antidotes from you know, why I

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Speaker 1: started ABC Food Tours with Tyler, uh, the impact it's

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Speaker 1: had on my life, and different and different stories from

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Speaker 1: the students that we've worked with. That again, I think

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Speaker 1: can relate to a lot of different people, and it

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Speaker 1: just adds perspective for people who are going through things

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Speaker 1: or think that they have uh life tough, and I

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Speaker 1: I just can't wait to share those stories with people

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Speaker 1: and see how they respond to them. Um. It's it's

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Speaker 1: a long time coming sharing with those students, especially after

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Speaker 1: everything that happened with with COVID and the pandemic and

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Speaker 1: the plans that we have to to work with them

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Speaker 1: and their families in their community. So uh yeah, there's

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Speaker 1: there's some very very strong characters in there that I

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Speaker 1: think will resonate with a lot of people. So to

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Speaker 1: learn more about ABC Food Tours, they can pick up

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Speaker 1: your book First Impressions on May three, anywhere you can

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Speaker 1: buy books. You can listen to it on audio books.

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Speaker 1: You can learn about ABC Food Tours. You can from

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Speaker 1: there go and look it up. Um, so much going

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Speaker 1: onto your life on your on in your Life, Matt.

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Speaker 1: From Ashley myself, we want to wish you and Rachel

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Speaker 1: the absolute best, have a great time. Thanks for joining us.

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Speaker 1: Sorry we went over so many minutes here, um, but

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Speaker 1: we're celebrating the two of you. We're celebrating your book,

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Speaker 1: uh and your work with ABC Food Tours and everything else.

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Speaker 1: They're up to in this world. Um that again. I

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Speaker 1: try to follow you on Instagram. I usually don't know

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Speaker 1: where you're at, and I usually don't know what you're doing,

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Speaker 1: but I usually know you're eating some type of food

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Speaker 1: and that's enough. I know you're healthy. Hey, thanks a lot, Matt,

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Speaker 1: Congrats Matt, thank you, Ashley, see you guys. Follow the

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Speaker 1: Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on I Heart Radio,

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Speaker 1: or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.