Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio
Speaker 1: and The Black Effect, And just like that, we're back
Speaker 1: with yet another podcast episode with your girl just hilarious.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, where I Fix your mess.
Speaker 2: Y'all listen.
Speaker 1: I just want to give a special shout out to
Speaker 1: the Breakfast Club and be Et and Charlemagne and the
Speaker 1: Black Effect in our heart, all four of those entities.
Speaker 1: They are the reason, well not the whole reason, but
Speaker 1: a good part of the reason why I do keep
Speaker 1: coming back to do this shit.
Speaker 2: Every Wednesday, y'all.
Speaker 1: I want to let y'all know I love y'all, and
Speaker 1: I just I really really feel good, really really feel good.
Speaker 1: It's my first day at Breakfast Club, my first day
Speaker 1: of the weekendt Breakfast Club. So my episode drops on
Speaker 1: a Wednesday, but this is a Monday, all right, and
Speaker 1: I just want to let y'all know the.
Speaker 2: Type of work day that I'm dealing with.
Speaker 1: I flew from Charlotte, North Carolina after a show last night.
Speaker 2: Right show was at six pm.
Speaker 1: We got off stage, finished the show, everything was wrapped
Speaker 1: up a round like eight thirty.
Speaker 2: Had to catch a nine fifty eight flight.
Speaker 1: I made the flight, got here, landed here in New
Speaker 1: York around like right before twelve o'clock. We bought it
Speaker 1: at nine fifty eight, so we took off around like
Speaker 1: ten something, landed twelve, didn't get to my hotel till
Speaker 1: one got right back up at four o'clock. That my
Speaker 1: makeup was here at the station at five point thirty
Speaker 1: to go on at six am.
Speaker 2: I'm tired as hell.
Speaker 1: And then from six to ten we do breakfast club,
Speaker 1: we do whatever interviews that we have, and then now
Speaker 1: I'm in here recording, So I am literally running off
Speaker 1: of three hours of sleep.
Speaker 2: But I love y'all so much. I love what I do.
Speaker 2: I'm tired, but I still got energy. You understand what
Speaker 2: I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So the motivation can also be adrenaline, Like, yeah, I'm tired, yeah,
Speaker 1: and I may not even sound like it, and shit,
Speaker 1: I really am. I'm not sleepy, I'm not drained. I'm
Speaker 1: just tired, that's all. So kay to say that you're tired,
Speaker 1: I'm not tired of y'all. I'm not tired of what
Speaker 1: I do. I'm actually very damn grateful and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: keep on going and doing what I do. But I'm
Speaker 1: letting y'all know I do this shit for y'all. You
Speaker 1: found me, So we're gonna jump right in. Nobody sent
Speaker 1: in voice notes for this episode.
Speaker 2: So I'm just gonna read this long ass run on sentence.
Speaker 1: That's what it is. I'm gonna call it out. It
Speaker 1: is what it is, girl, Hi, Jess, I really need
Speaker 1: you to help with my mess. I wish to remain
Speaker 1: anonymous because I could catch a case about this one.
Speaker 2: Damn oh shit.
Speaker 1: So I guess I'll start off with the fact that
Speaker 1: I'm a twenty two year old female who's had really
Speaker 1: bad taste in men, and I find myself to be
Speaker 1: a little bit of a hopeless romantic. I mean, we
Speaker 1: are you, twenty two shit, I'm always falling in love
Speaker 1: with the idea of a man.
Speaker 2: Anyway.
Speaker 1: In February, I started a job working in the kitchen
Speaker 1: at the jail. Before starting this job, my mother and
Speaker 1: family all said do not fall for anyone in there,
Speaker 1: meaning in the jail. I even had training informing me
Speaker 1: that personal relationship with an inmate could result in a
Speaker 1: rape charge for me.
Speaker 2: Wow, whether it was.
Speaker 1: Consensual or not, y'all listen to that, don't y'all become
Speaker 1: CEOs and cafeteria ladies and these damn jails, and then
Speaker 1: y'all get caught fucking these inmates. That's a charge on y'all,
Speaker 1: whether it was consensual or not. Y'all can go down
Speaker 1: for raping these motherfuckers. Okay, even if y'all didn't rape
Speaker 1: these motherfuckers. All right, back to the story. So I
Speaker 1: start working, things are going fine. I immediately knew I
Speaker 1: was going to have to deal with some thirsties. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you must be a nice, little cute little girl,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Nice wholesome young lady, But
Speaker 1: nothing can truly prepare you for working with men who
Speaker 1: haven't had pussy in years. I had men saying they
Speaker 1: drink my bath water, sniffing me when they walk past.
Speaker 1: It was a lot, I must admit. But there was
Speaker 1: one that was different. They called him Bori for anyone
Speaker 1: that isn't Latino, that's short for the Boriqua. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: I said that right. I got my little Spanish down
Speaker 1: pick Boriqua. And at first I wasn't even looking at
Speaker 1: him that way at all. It just started with small
Speaker 1: conversation asking where I'm from. Talking about family, him helping
Speaker 1: me carry heavy things so I wouldn't have to struggle.
Speaker 1: The next thing, I know, every day we're talking more
Speaker 1: and more about life and God. Okay, I noticed the
Speaker 1: disrespect from the other men eventually stopped as well. He
Speaker 1: would tell me how beautiful I was and how he
Speaker 1: just wanted to take care of me and do everything
Speaker 1: for me. Eventually my wall broke down and I started
Speaker 1: to develop feelings for the man who I was spending
Speaker 1: so much time around. So we started getting frisky. Hold
Speaker 1: on and the damn jail girl, So we started getting risky,
Speaker 1: she said, not frisky. I slipped him my number, He
Speaker 1: would slip me letters and pictures. We would sneak off
Speaker 1: into the freezer together. No, we didn't have sex. We
Speaker 1: started talking about a life together. When he got out,
Speaker 1: I was even looking for apartners and shit. And before
Speaker 1: you judge me, I'm going through a lot in life
Speaker 1: right now. Sometimes the unhealed part of me looks for
Speaker 1: something that can save me, or someone to come save me.
Speaker 1: After a while, words spread that we were messing around.
Speaker 1: Oh shit, girl, you know it's like the hood. It's
Speaker 1: the damn jail, old shit, the walls talk and the
Speaker 1: inmates do too, and sure enough, this information gets back
Speaker 1: to my manager. I'm not gonna say her name, but
Speaker 1: I will say this. She is one of the realist
Speaker 1: shorties I ever met. She sits me down and tells
Speaker 1: me she knows about me and body, and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: just say buddy, me and Boddy that she really likes me.
Speaker 1: And that's why she was telling me. She thought it
Speaker 1: would be best if I quit. Damn that if the
Speaker 1: information got back to her, then word was spread beyond
Speaker 1: her into the CEOs and then they'd launch an investigation
Speaker 1: and I'd get arrested.
Speaker 2: So she was saving me.
Speaker 1: To avoid all of the mess, I just needed to quit,
Speaker 1: and that's exactly what I did. I came in one
Speaker 1: last day to tell Boddy to make sure he saves
Speaker 1: my number in a safe space, and I didn't go back.
Speaker 1: This was in the end of March, so having quit,
Speaker 1: I figured there was nothing more for me to lose.
Speaker 1: To look for him, So that's what I did. I
Speaker 1: looked for him on Facebook and found a couple of pages.
Speaker 1: I looked through his friendless to see if I can
Speaker 1: find someone to pass a message to him.
Speaker 2: Also, he didn't call you. Damn.
Speaker 1: I find this friend that he seemed to be very
Speaker 1: close with. I messaged the friend to see if they
Speaker 1: still keep in contact, and this man proceeds to tell
Speaker 1: me that him and buddy are together.
Speaker 2: What that was his man? Oh?
Speaker 1: He asked me who I was and what I wanted
Speaker 1: with his boyfriend. Then I looked through his pictures and
Speaker 1: find a picture with them too hugged up.
Speaker 2: With engagement rings. Damn.
Speaker 1: Needless to say, my heart was broke. I immediately got
Speaker 1: sick to my stomach. I didn't know how to process
Speaker 1: that information at all. So I just blocked the friend
Speaker 1: and the situation from my mind and just kept moving forward,
Speaker 1: because now I got to figure out how to pay
Speaker 1: my bills since I was stupid and fucked up a
Speaker 1: state job with a pension and all that girl dumba's hell.
Speaker 1: Despite that, though, I still think of him all the
Speaker 1: time time and the way he made me feel, how
Speaker 1: soft and gentle he was with me. Maybe that was
Speaker 1: from him being gay, I don't fucking know, or just
Speaker 1: him knowing how to treat another human being.
Speaker 2: Girl. That don't have nothing to do with him being gay,
Speaker 2: you know?
Speaker 1: But now he still calls me, uh, and I answer
Speaker 1: from time to time because I want to hear his voice.
Speaker 1: Oh today I told him I knew about him and
Speaker 1: his boyfriend. Of course he couldn't explain much do to
Speaker 1: where he is. But he claims that's his old life
Speaker 1: and he wants a new one, and how he doesn't
Speaker 1: want to lose me, how he'll answer whatever questions I have.
Speaker 1: Just give him a chance when he gets out. Oh hell, no,
Speaker 1: you want me to wait for you to get out.
Speaker 1: I don't know when the hell that is You want
Speaker 1: me to wait for you to get out to tell
Speaker 1: me that you ain't gay? No more, so you can
Speaker 1: answer all my questions about you being gay, some about
Speaker 1: this is your old life. Well, that Nigga didn't say
Speaker 1: that when I hit him up to ask him about you.
Speaker 1: Y'all are fucking engaged. And what you did was you
Speaker 1: got your ass locked up, and that Nigga's waiting for
Speaker 1: you to come to fuck home.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 1: A part of me wants that so bad, just to
Speaker 1: say fuck it and love him openly for who he is.
Speaker 1: Then there's that other part of me that thinks, what
Speaker 1: if he gets tired and wants to go back to
Speaker 1: dick exactly I'm not sure why I haven't completely checked
Speaker 1: out after finding out he was gay. I need to
Speaker 1: know how you would fix this mess. Am my delusional
Speaker 1: to want love so bad that I tried to love
Speaker 1: a gay man.
Speaker 2: Get back to me if you can. This shit got
Speaker 2: me fucked up.
Speaker 1: Hold up, Hold up, I know this shit getting good.
Speaker 1: But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.
Speaker 1: If you love me, you'll listen, all.
Speaker 2: Right, bookie. But I do understand.
Speaker 1: I understand how you can be fucked up by a lot,
Speaker 1: because that was just a whole lot. All right, Now,
Speaker 1: let's go back to the beginning. Listen, You're twenty two
Speaker 1: years old. You're twenty two. You had a great job,
Speaker 1: you did, I mean, I don't you know considerably speaking.
Speaker 1: You know, you worked in a fucking jail, but you
Speaker 1: did have a pension. You mentioned, you mentioned that you
Speaker 1: loved the state job. I mean, obviously you didn't have
Speaker 1: anything bad to say about it other than you had
Speaker 1: to leave it due to a nigga. I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: say a nigga. Ain't gonna say a gay nigga because
Speaker 1: we don't even know if he's gay. He may be,
Speaker 1: by he obviously is not gay. You know, he's obviously bisexual,
Speaker 1: or he could be poly. I mean, we don't know
Speaker 1: when we get into all the sexual departments, but we don't.
Speaker 1: We don't know, all right. I'm also not gonna say
Speaker 1: what he made you feel has no regard. It's fake,
Speaker 1: it's bullshit, it's asinine to feel that way. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to say that because that's not true. I do
Speaker 1: believe that he developed feelings for you. I believe that
Speaker 1: he was and probably still is connected to that ex man,
Speaker 1: you know, his ex fiance or could still be his
Speaker 1: current fiance, and he still may be even battling with
Speaker 1: his sexuality.
Speaker 2: He may not know who the fuck he is. You
Speaker 2: understand what I'm saying. He may not. That's why I
Speaker 2: don't want to call him gay.
Speaker 1: We can't just say, oh, you're gay because you found
Speaker 1: out that he fucked with men. You know that he
Speaker 1: had a man that he was engaged to. He could
Speaker 1: still be very well bisexual. You know, we just don't know,
Speaker 1: so I don't want to put that on him altogether.
Speaker 1: I also don't think you're crazy for feeling the way
Speaker 1: you do. We can't control our feelings. We can't control
Speaker 1: who we love. If you love this man, I do
Speaker 1: understand that. I do think that you are young. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to say you don't know what love is,
Speaker 1: but you have a whole lot more life to live
Speaker 1: and a lot more to experience before you lock.
Speaker 2: Down with a guy who is in jail.
Speaker 1: You don't know when he's coming home, and he just
Speaker 1: expressed to you that he may be gay.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: But he wants you to wait until he gets out
Speaker 1: for a full explanation. That's bullshit. That's the only part
Speaker 1: about it that is bullshit. And the craziest part about
Speaker 1: it is that you actually had to quit your job.
Speaker 1: You didn't quit because you wanted to. You quit because
Speaker 1: you had to, and you avoid it and arrest. Okay,
Speaker 1: I think your manager is a real one for coming,
Speaker 1: you know, coming to you before shit actually hit the
Speaker 1: fucking fan and telling you to get out of there.
Speaker 2: That was meaningful.
Speaker 1: That was somebody who understands and probably somebody who saw
Speaker 1: a situation like that before. You know, a young girl
Speaker 1: caught in a situation like that. I'm not gonna say
Speaker 1: that all men in jail are the same. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to say that, but I am gonna say, it's
Speaker 1: very easy to believe a dream that a man in
Speaker 1: jail will sell you. You understand what I'm saying, not saying
Speaker 1: that this is your situation now, I'm talking in general.
Speaker 1: It's very easy to believe that because all they have
Speaker 1: to live by is dreams.
Speaker 2: Some of them don't even know when they're coming home.
Speaker 1: Some of them ain't even coming home, so all they
Speaker 1: have to do is hold on to dreams and memories
Speaker 1: and shit, you know, And sometimes their dreams become nightmares
Speaker 1: and shit because they don't know when they're coming home.
Speaker 1: They have to live in a fucking cage and look
Speaker 1: at four walls for the rest of their fucking lives
Speaker 1: or for a very long period of time, and be
Speaker 1: away from their friends and families. And like you said, pussy,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. It's hard that you had
Speaker 1: to deal with the mental abuse, you know, the verbal
Speaker 1: abuse from all the other inmates hitting on you, telling
Speaker 1: you they drink your bad for it. I know it
Speaker 1: had to make you feel uncomfortable. And then you said
Speaker 1: you meant buddy, buddy kua and you all was sneaking
Speaker 1: to the free so much yry hand sex what the
Speaker 1: fuck y'all doing in the freezer. Then not y'all freezing,
Speaker 1: y'all damn asses off and they're just talking and trembling.
Speaker 2: What the fuck y'all doing?
Speaker 1: Shit, ain't no way you could ass sexy they I
Speaker 1: know this dick can't get hard in the cold a
Speaker 1: fucking freezer next to the chicken. Chiall listen, all jokes aside.
Speaker 1: I think, like I said, you're very young. Okay, make
Speaker 1: this a lesson. Learn you said he calls you, you
Speaker 1: still answer because you just want to hear his voice.
Speaker 1: Don't run from it. I'm not saying run from it.
Speaker 1: Just keep all your options open, honey. I can't tell you.
Speaker 1: I can't tell you. I can't tell you to be
Speaker 1: with a gay man. I can't tell you to not
Speaker 1: be with a bisexual man. I can't tell you to
Speaker 1: not fuck with him. And listen, it's all about your preference.
Speaker 1: You're still young, you don't know who the fuck you are. Probably,
Speaker 1: so even if you're considering dealing with the bisexual man,
Speaker 1: that's not me judging you. That's your fucking preference. If
Speaker 1: that's what you prefer, you need to figure out what
Speaker 1: you want to do. You know he said, that's his
Speaker 1: old life. Do you believe him? Can you ungay have
Speaker 1: to being gay for so long? That's a real fucking question.
Speaker 2: Women do it? Why can't men do it?
Speaker 1: And then the flip side is once your buttole been entered,
Speaker 1: how do you like go back to being a version.
Speaker 2: Of the butt? You know what I mean? And are
Speaker 2: you gay fever once you get your butt plugged up?
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: It's just so many there's so many questions, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. We did have Andrew Calwell bring him
Speaker 1: up every now and then. He said that he's not
Speaker 1: gay anymore. He very well may not be, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. We don't know what that guy does.
Speaker 1: I mean, he still has you know, is this feminine
Speaker 1: ways or whatever. But that could still just be the
Speaker 1: last little bit, you.
Speaker 2: Know, coming out.
Speaker 1: You know, he probably got to get the last little
Speaker 1: bit out by twenty twenty five. He could sound like me,
Speaker 1: you know, he could sound like you know, James Earl Jones.
Speaker 1: We don't know, you know what I mean, You probably don't.
Speaker 2: He probably don't.
Speaker 1: You know, he's getting the last little bit of gay out,
Speaker 1: you know. So we just don't know. And while it
Speaker 1: sounds like I'm playing, I'm being dead ass serious.
Speaker 2: All right, So I.
Speaker 1: Want you to, you know, reach out to body or
Speaker 1: well you can't reach out at the jail, you know,
Speaker 1: but don't reach out to no more his friends, because
Speaker 1: then I feel like you're gonna find out some more shit.
Speaker 2: All right. I think you need to let him know.
Speaker 1: Write him a nice little letter, let him know that
Speaker 1: you're conflicted on this, you know, be as open as
Speaker 1: you can, and tell him that you don't want to
Speaker 1: wait until he gets home for him to explain everything.
Speaker 1: You met him in there, and he still he owed
Speaker 1: you an explanation. Nigga, I lost my mother fucking job
Speaker 1: because I picked you, over risking my freedom I did.
Speaker 1: In hindsight, I ultimately picked you. He knows you're young.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you didn't lie about your fucking age. He
Speaker 1: knows you're young. I'm not saying that he's trying to
Speaker 1: take advantage of you, but you are very impressionable.
Speaker 2: Okay. It took him a minute to knock down that wall,
Speaker 2: but he did. A nigga in jail knocked down the wall.
Speaker 1: Okay, you can have anybody on the outside your age,
Speaker 1: a couple of years old or whatever, without a record,
Speaker 1: without a boyfriend or you know, a fiance and without
Speaker 1: a past like that, and you chose Buddy again.
Speaker 2: It may sound like I'm judging you. I'm not.
Speaker 1: But sometimes you gotta hear shit repeated back to you
Speaker 1: so you can hear how unorthodox it sounds. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying the situation is crazy. I'm not saying it's disgusting.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying any of that. I don't want you
Speaker 1: to get the wrong idea. I said unorthodox. It's a
Speaker 1: lot going on, a lot going on. You're too young
Speaker 1: for that. You should be working on your next fucking job,
Speaker 1: not working on buddy. And when the fuck he come home?
Speaker 1: What the fuck is he gonna give you? Is he
Speaker 1: backing up his promises with concrete details? Does he have
Speaker 1: a fucking plan? What is he doing in there now?
Speaker 1: And did you work in a jail or did you
Speaker 1: work in a prison that's different? Is he taking classes
Speaker 1: to better himself? Like? What the fuck is he doing?
Speaker 1: What are his dreams? Did y'all get to know each
Speaker 1: other in the damn did he tell you that in
Speaker 1: that freezer? What did he tell you he was cold,
Speaker 1: freezing your ass off. He supposed to be on the
Speaker 1: damn floor.
Speaker 2: With the rest of the inmates and you playing in
Speaker 2: the freezer with buddy. Girl.
Speaker 1: I think you need to go try to get your
Speaker 1: damn job back, or go to another damn jail and
Speaker 1: don't fall in love with no more fucking inmates.
Speaker 2: Girl. I mean that.
Speaker 1: No, they're not all the same, but that ain't where
Speaker 1: you want to get your man from.
Speaker 2: It's good men and that two.
Speaker 1: But let them come home, figure themselves out and find
Speaker 1: their woman, or let them come home to people that's already.
Speaker 2: Waiting for them. I mean that.
Speaker 1: I mean that, even in your case, let them come
Speaker 1: home to who's waiting for them obviously, Okay, because dreams
Speaker 1: are still sold in jail. Okay, Okay, check back in
Speaker 1: with me because I want to know where you go
Speaker 1: from here. I would love for you to go get
Speaker 1: another job. You seem like you had your head on
Speaker 1: damn straight, but you know, we don't know, we don't know.
Speaker 2: I know you need to get it together.
Speaker 1: If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and
Speaker 1: then we'll be right back moving on. Hey, jas, I
Speaker 1: have a boyfriend that I've been with for four years,
Speaker 1: but we both want different things. I want us to
Speaker 1: have our own place, but he wants to keep living
Speaker 1: with his dad. He's twenty one and I'm twenty. Damn girl, shit,
Speaker 1: girly pribably ain't ready for all of that. Now, come on,
Speaker 1: what the hell are you talking about? First of all,
Speaker 1: your little hot ass, calm down. You ain't even twenty
Speaker 1: one yet. He's twenty one and you're twenty. Understand you
Speaker 1: want to move. Okay, you want to move with your boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Y'all been together for four years. Yeah, so, y'all were
Speaker 1: together since sixteen seventeen. I understand, But you really truly
Speaker 1: don't know a person until you live with them. And now, honestly,
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to I'm not trying to control your life.
Speaker 1: But you got one more year until you make all
Speaker 1: these big decisions, and you got to live with them.
Speaker 1: You understand what I'm saying. I think he's making a
Speaker 1: sensible decision. You act like he thirty one, forty one
Speaker 1: living with his dad. I know some people living with
Speaker 1: their parents that are older than I am, which I'm
Speaker 1: still not saying anything is wrong with I'm just saying
Speaker 1: it depends on your level of independence. If you want
Speaker 1: to be independent. It's some people parents don't want them
Speaker 1: to leave. Some people don't want to leave their parents.
Speaker 1: But when you have relationships and jobs and kids and
Speaker 1: all that type of shit, you want your own. And
Speaker 1: when you just are tired of living under someone else's roof,
Speaker 1: you want your own. But then you have people that
Speaker 1: stay at home as long as they can. Because I'm
Speaker 1: me tell you something, it's.
Speaker 2: Hard to shit out here these days.
Speaker 1: Back in the day when I first moved out, yeah
Speaker 1: it was hard, but it wasn't nowhere near as hard
Speaker 1: as it is now.
Speaker 2: We're in a recession right now. And while it doesn't.
Speaker 1: Affect a lot of people, and why it doesn't look
Speaker 1: like why it doesn't look like it affects a lot
Speaker 1: of people. Oh it does. It's affecting a lot of
Speaker 1: fucking people. I went to this is a side truck
Speaker 1: real quick. I want the chick for later other day, right,
Speaker 1: I order fool for me, my sister and my videographer.
Speaker 1: That shit came up to like thirty eight dollars and
Speaker 1: we didn't even get four meals.
Speaker 2: I was the only one that got a four meal.
Speaker 1: My sister got some nuggets meg and cheese, and he
Speaker 1: got a salad and a milkshake or some shit. Thirty
Speaker 1: eight dollars forty dollars for three people to eat and
Speaker 1: they weren't even full complete meals. It's a fucking struggle
Speaker 1: out here. That shit may sound like pennies to certain people.
Speaker 1: To other people, you ain't got it. It's hard feeding
Speaker 1: your fucking family. That's why so much crime, That's why
Speaker 1: niggas is hungry, robbing, stealing, fucking killing people and shit
Speaker 1: people are trying.
Speaker 2: To make ways out of no way. You understand what
Speaker 2: I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And then we have yollow ass that want to move
Speaker 1: out quick fast, in a hurry. Girl, you're gonna be
Speaker 1: right back. And I don't even like it. And I
Speaker 1: don't like saying this. I don't like seeming like I'm
Speaker 1: talking down. But don't jump out there too fucking fast, Okay,
Speaker 1: don't at least wait until you're twenty one, and then
Speaker 1: let him take his time. If y'all been together for
Speaker 1: four years already, where are you going? Do you see
Speaker 1: y'all going downhill? Is this a deal breaker for you?
Speaker 1: If y'all don't move together, you're gonna leave him? What
Speaker 1: is this, it's all right. Compromise and a relationship compromise.
Speaker 1: Give him like a wager, you know, leverage. Let's meet
Speaker 1: in the middle. Compromise. Say all right, Ben, you know
Speaker 1: how bad I want to move together. Since we can't
Speaker 1: do that right now, let's revisit this in another year,
Speaker 1: six months to a year, and let's see where you'll
Speaker 1: be by then. Or let's wait until my twenty first
Speaker 1: birthday and let's see where you'll be by then, and
Speaker 1: we'll revisit it.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Don't just up and leave call it quits just because
Speaker 1: he's not trying to move together right now. He also
Speaker 1: could be scared. He could be nervous. His parents could
Speaker 1: be in his head. You ain't about to move with
Speaker 1: that girl, you know what I'm saying. You don't know,
Speaker 1: so I think it's a communication thing. Sit down and
Speaker 1: talk to him, But also compromise if you see it's
Speaker 1: really a problem. Don't ever pressure a man to do shit,
Speaker 1: just like I don't think we should be pre sure
Speaker 1: to do anything. Never put pressure on a man, because
Speaker 1: when they feel pressure, they do shit like lie. They
Speaker 1: start telling you what you want to hear, and they
Speaker 1: don't even mean it just to get from up under
Speaker 1: that pressure, you know what I'm saying, Like they start
Speaker 1: to lie, they start to run, they start the cheap,
Speaker 1: they start to don't pressure him. Be upfront always. That's
Speaker 1: a tip that you could take for me. I'm thirty one.
Speaker 1: I still ain't got it all figured out relationship wise,
Speaker 1: but I think I'm doing pretty damn good because I've
Speaker 1: had some bad examples to show me what not to
Speaker 1: do and what to watch out for. Well, actually, I
Speaker 1: should call them good examples because I know the nigga
Speaker 1: right now was thinking them niggas a All right, well, listen,
Speaker 1: we come to the end of another Carefully Reckless episode
Speaker 1: where Jess is fixing your mess every Wednesday on The
Speaker 1: Black Effect. Thank you, I heart this is the home
Speaker 1: for your podcast anyway you find podcasts, So you listen
Speaker 1: to podcasts, make sure you search carefully Reckless and then
Speaker 1: my deepest pam voice name name can't Fully Reckless is
Speaker 1: a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more
Speaker 1: podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.