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Speaker 1: Hey guys, I'm Gailie Shure and this is too much

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Speaker 1: to say it out you. So this week I am

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Speaker 1: in the studio with one of my all time favorite musicians, producers, songwriters,

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Speaker 1: Butch Walker, and I've been talking about it on stop

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Speaker 1: because I'm really excited, okay um, and I'm so so

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Speaker 1: pumped to be doing that. But instead of recording new

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Speaker 1: episodes over the next two weeks, I needed to take

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Speaker 1: a little break to focus on that. So I'm going

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Speaker 1: to be re sharing some of my favorite episodes from

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Speaker 1: the thirty we've done so far on too much to say.

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Speaker 1: This was one of the earliest episodes I did, and

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Speaker 1: it got such an amazing reaction. I completely like beared

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Speaker 1: at all when it comes to eating issues and you know,

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Speaker 1: bodied ys Morphy and what social media and the entertainment

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Speaker 1: industry can do to men and women who are looking

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Speaker 1: at these people as influences and you know, judging your

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Speaker 1: body based off of what you see and whatnot. And

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Speaker 1: the response I got from people in my d m

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Speaker 1: s and on Twitter was just like absolutely amazing, and

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Speaker 1: I'm really happy that this episode could help. So if

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Speaker 1: you missed it, Here's Hungry is a new skinny and

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Speaker 1: if you didn't and you feel like listening again, well

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Speaker 1: here you go being open about my unit disorder. It

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Speaker 1: was kind of a long journey. I casually mentioned it

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Speaker 1: on Instagram and you know, I think in an interview

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Speaker 1: here and there. But when I put it in my

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Speaker 1: song Escape in the Bridge and talked about that in

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Speaker 1: a song, that kind of was me really really opening up.

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Speaker 1: And I did an interview during quarantine with Laura Snapes

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Speaker 1: at The Guardian, which is this really cool UK newspaper.

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Speaker 1: She asked me something that no would you had ever

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Speaker 1: asked me in an interview before, And she said, Hey,

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Speaker 1: so you know I've I've noticed that you've kind of

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Speaker 1: like hinted and pointed to having anyting disorder, but you've

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Speaker 1: never really opened up about it in an interview. Would

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Speaker 1: you feel comfortable talking about it with me? And I

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Speaker 1: was like, yeah, you know what, why not. I'm in quarantine,

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Speaker 1: I'm bored, let's go there. And I just can't say

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Speaker 1: enough like how thankful I was for how gentle she

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Speaker 1: was with my story and and how easy she made

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Speaker 1: it to open up. Like I literally told her on

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Speaker 1: the phone, I was like, should I be paying you?

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Speaker 1: Because I feel like you're definitely doing like a therapy

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Speaker 1: role right now, but having somebody ask and give me

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Speaker 1: a platform to talk about it, I felt like I

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Speaker 1: really wanted to elaborate on it on the podcast and

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Speaker 1: be able to share the full story in a way

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Speaker 1: that I couldn't necessarily in an interview, which is one

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Speaker 1: of my favorite things about this podcast is I get to,

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Speaker 1: you know, talk about things in long form and very conversationally.

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Speaker 1: So this is the story of my body image journey

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Speaker 1: and UH and self love. So let's start at the

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Speaker 1: very beginning. So when I was eleven years old, I

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Speaker 1: was going through a pretty transitional time. I went to

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Speaker 1: a pretty toxic Christian school where there was some really

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Speaker 1: problematic doctrine specifically towards young girls, and um just very legalistic.

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Speaker 1: I was questioning authority for the first time. I never

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Speaker 1: like distrusted a pastor before, so that was difficult. I

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Speaker 1: was making the really hard choice to not go visit

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Speaker 1: my dad every other weekend anymore because in the custody agreement,

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Speaker 1: I had the choice to not visit him, and I

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Speaker 1: made that choice. So that was really hard. And I

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Speaker 1: also was in the middle of my sister being in

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Speaker 1: and out of prison, and it was just a lot

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Speaker 1: for an eleven year old girl to handle. I felt

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Speaker 1: like I didn't have any control over my life or

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Speaker 1: the situations or the people, and so I turned to

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Speaker 1: control of food and my eating to compensate for that.

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Speaker 1: I would not eat for for days. I would, you know,

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Speaker 1: just drink detox tease and run for hours. And you know,

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Speaker 1: it just seemed like I like to track and it

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Speaker 1: wasn't that big of a deal from the outside, but

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Speaker 1: slowly I started losing weight, and then I quickly started

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Speaker 1: losing weight and it just spiraled, and my mom was

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Speaker 1: forced to be like, oh, is something wrong here. So

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Speaker 1: we talked about it, and she took me to the

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Speaker 1: eating disorder clinic in my hometown and I was officially

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Speaker 1: diagnosed with anorexia by the time I was maybe twelve.

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Speaker 1: I do think I was eleven. So I think that

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Speaker 1: that one of the difficult things about therapy from a

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Speaker 1: parent's perspective is a lot of times, if your child's

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Speaker 1: going to therapy, you're going to whether you know it

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Speaker 1: or not, and the therapist is going to mediate and

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Speaker 1: tell the parents the behaviors they have that might be

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Speaker 1: affecting their child. And that's a difficult thing to hear,

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Speaker 1: you know, and it's easy to write it off and

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Speaker 1: be like, well, it's nobody's business how I'm parenting my child.

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Speaker 1: But if it's affecting your child in that way, it's

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Speaker 1: definitely worth talking about. And nobody's parents are perfect. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I think one of the biggest things you learn in

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Speaker 1: your twenties is that your parents are people too, And

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Speaker 1: I think that that really freaked my mom out, and

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Speaker 1: she wasn't ready to commit to that level of introspection

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Speaker 1: on her part to see where these habits may have

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Speaker 1: come from and where I may have seen them for

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Speaker 1: the first time. So the day I got diagnosed was

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Speaker 1: the last time I ever saw a talctor about it. Instead,

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Speaker 1: my mom decided to take me to the pastor of

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Speaker 1: our church, and bless his heart, but he'd never he

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Speaker 1: wasn't a doctor, he'd never been licensed in any way

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Speaker 1: to work with an eleven year old girl who's being

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Speaker 1: nothing because she doesn't know how to cope with the

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Speaker 1: things that are happening around her. And basically it just

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Speaker 1: came down to quote unquote the power of prayer, which

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Speaker 1: I'm not denying the importance of spirituality and faith at all,

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Speaker 1: but it can't be the only thing that you're doing.

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Speaker 1: Modern medicine and therapy exists for a reason. You're not

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Speaker 1: undermining God's abilities by seeing a therapist and seeing somebody

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Speaker 1: who has gone to school to handle these situations. So

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Speaker 1: after that, you know, I can't say that I got

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Speaker 1: a single thing out of talking to a pastor um

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Speaker 1: And my eating is sort of just got worse and worse,

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Speaker 1: and it would pop up. I would, you know, be

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Speaker 1: fine for a few months, then I wouldn't be. And

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Speaker 1: it wasn't like I didn't eat from eleven to eighteen,

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Speaker 1: but there were a lot of periods in between that

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Speaker 1: I didn't and it looked a lot of different ways.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes I would be working out too much, sometimes I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't be eating. Sometimes I would binge and purge. And

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Speaker 1: the official name for what I had is anorexia with

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Speaker 1: bliemic tendencies. As I got more into my teenage years,

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Speaker 1: it got worse because I had access to the internet,

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Speaker 1: and this was before Instagram was really a thing, but

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Speaker 1: tumbler was everywhere and it was so like hard to

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Speaker 1: log on there, and I would just see these girls

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Speaker 1: with the perfect thigh gap, and you know, they'd have

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Speaker 1: their collar bones and it just all seemed very like

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Speaker 1: elegant and romanticized. And as I dove down those rabbit holes,

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Speaker 1: I found this community and they were called pro anna

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Speaker 1: and pro mia as an anorexia and bulimia, and it

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Speaker 1: was literally a community of people with eating disorders encouraging

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Speaker 1: other people have eating disorders. And that sounds crazy, like

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Speaker 1: it sounds sociopathic, but when you're caught up in that lifestyle,

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Speaker 1: finding this community can feel so like everything you've been

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Speaker 1: needing because you feel so isolated and so alone in

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Speaker 1: what you're going through. And it was like sharing your

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Speaker 1: weight stats and your your goal b m I and

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Speaker 1: all these numbers and the numbers are the problem, and

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Speaker 1: I just got so deep into it I couldn't get out.

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Speaker 1: I actually went back and I found my my blog

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Speaker 1: from when I was dealing with that. It was anonymous,

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Speaker 1: and it's just so heartbreaking the things that I would post,

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Speaker 1: you know, like willpower is power. Nothing tastes as good

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Speaker 1: as skinny feels. Also, big fat Lie, I don't know

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Speaker 1: if you have ever had an impossible burger, but that

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Speaker 1: tastes better than skinny feels, for sure, and I just

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Speaker 1: spiraled and it got so much worse, and it was

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Speaker 1: definitely exacerbated by Tumbler and that sort of culture that

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Speaker 1: was happening. Since then, you know, different social media sites

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Speaker 1: have started to flag that material and it's a lot

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Speaker 1: harder to find, which like, thank god, but it was

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Speaker 1: so accessible at that point. You could just literally go

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Speaker 1: to the hashtag pro anna and you were off to

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Speaker 1: the races. There were so many things I missed out

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Speaker 1: on in high school because of my eating disorder. When

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Speaker 1: I was going through an episode, for lack of a

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Speaker 1: better word, I would not go out with my friends.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't go get pizza because I'd get such deep

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Speaker 1: anxiety about if I would eat too much, if I

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Speaker 1: would overeat, if people would judge me for how much

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Speaker 1: I was eating because I hadn't eaten in five days.

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Speaker 1: And then when I would eat something, I'd eat like

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Speaker 1: half a pizza, and it just was so hard to manage,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't have any resources. And I remember going

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Speaker 1: to both of my parents and telling them what was

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Speaker 1: going on, and they just didn't take it seriously. And again,

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Speaker 1: parents are people too, But this is what happened, and

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Speaker 1: I want to tell my story transparently, because I know

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of you out there who probably feel similarly.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I've heard from some of you guys, like

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Speaker 1: through Instagram, d m s and just telling me like

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Speaker 1: your stories, and I just want you to know that

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Speaker 1: you're not alone. And it doesn't mean your parents don't

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Speaker 1: love you. It just means that they're going through something themselves.

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Speaker 1: I went through a period when I've turned eighteen where

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Speaker 1: I was pulling myself out of the eating disorder. I

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Speaker 1: kind of had this moment I had passed out. I

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Speaker 1: hadn't eaten in five days, and I woke up like

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Speaker 1: four hours later on my bedroom floor, and I was

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Speaker 1: just like, why the funk am I not eating? Like?

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Speaker 1: I look fine? Like it honestly, really hardly ever had

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Speaker 1: anything to do with what I looked like. And I

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Speaker 1: was never like looking around at other people being like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, that person is so fat. It was

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Speaker 1: just a control thing, and I felt like if I

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Speaker 1: was empty, I was clean. I mean, I don't even

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Speaker 1: know how to fully describe it. It was just like

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Speaker 1: this desire to be empty, and I was like, why

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Speaker 1: am I doing this? And I was also taking an

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Speaker 1: ape psychology class and I had done a thesis on

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Speaker 1: nature and nurture and like, which one is the bigger

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Speaker 1: component into your predisposition to having an eating disorder? And

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Speaker 1: it turns out, like most things, it's like and writing

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Speaker 1: that paper and doing the research and learning the mental

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Speaker 1: processes behind it. It wasn't just like a habit. It

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Speaker 1: was like an actual mental illness. And truthfully, it has

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Speaker 1: the highest mortality rate of any mental illness, so people

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Speaker 1: are dying from it. And obviously people die from other

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Speaker 1: mental illnesses as well, but this one is like just

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Speaker 1: the fast track to destroying your body and maybe dying.

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Speaker 1: It's really sad, and it's really dark, and it's something

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Speaker 1: that affects really young people. And it's not just girls.

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Speaker 1: I'm talking a lot about girls on this podcast, but

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Speaker 1: male eating disorders and body images us are so underdiagnosed.

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Speaker 1: So don't think I'm not acknowledging those at all. It's

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Speaker 1: just my personal experiences having eating disorder and being a girl.

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Speaker 1: So after several years of doing better having that epiphany,

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Speaker 1: I was in a relationship, and you know, I would

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Speaker 1: have periods where I would like try some Pinterest diet

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Speaker 1: that was like drinking lemonade with cayenne pepper in it

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Speaker 1: and fasting for several days. But it wasn't like it

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Speaker 1: wasn't the same as when I was like fully in

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Speaker 1: my eating disorder, but it was just as bad, Like

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Speaker 1: I just wasn't. I was convincing myself that it was

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Speaker 1: like a diet for like health reasons, and that's why

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Speaker 1: I think that the wellness community can be so so damaging.

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Speaker 1: Then it popped back up after I went through the breakup,

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Speaker 1: trademark sign that inspired my album Open Book, and um,

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Speaker 1: just the rapid period of growth that happened personally over

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Speaker 1: the next two years. I look back at pictures of

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Speaker 1: myself now and I'm like, oh, I wasn't skinny. I

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Speaker 1: was hungry. And that's why I called the episode Hungry

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Speaker 1: as the new Skinny, because it's so important to know

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Speaker 1: the distinction. And it's so easy to get caught up

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Speaker 1: in the scale and the numbers and and quote unquote

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Speaker 1: wellness and be like, I'm I'm getting then I'm getting skinny.

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Speaker 1: But like, if you're hungry and you're miserable, like you're

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Speaker 1: not happy, and you can't say that you're healthy even

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Speaker 1: if you're healthy on the outside, you're taking all the

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Speaker 1: right vitamins, you're working out all the time, you have

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Speaker 1: a six pack, you only eat quote unquote clean foods.

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Speaker 1: If your brain is a nightmare, if you're looking in

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Speaker 1: the mirror and you hate yourself, if you feel like

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Speaker 1: absolute garbage, if you went over your calorie allotment for

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Speaker 1: the day, if you need to go do uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: workout class and burn four calories just because you ate

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Speaker 1: a pack of Eminem's. Like, that's not healthy. And you

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Speaker 1: have to be healthy in your body and your mind

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Speaker 1: in order to be that, and to put that label

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Speaker 1: on yourself and say that I'm into health and wellness,

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Speaker 1: you're not well. And I'm saying that because that was me.

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Speaker 1: Like when I look back on those photos, it's just crazy.

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Speaker 1: Like there was one red carpet I walked. I think

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Speaker 1: it was a CMT Awards, and people love to compliment

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Speaker 1: you when you lose weight and they're like, wow, you

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Speaker 1: look great, and like wow, you've lost so much weight,

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Speaker 1: Like what are you doing? And I'm like not eating um,

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Speaker 1: having five coronas and an English muffin a day like

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Speaker 1: that was it. It was just a really rough period

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Speaker 1: And I remember on that red carpet. I hadn't eaten

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Speaker 1: anything all day, and I was feeling so lightheaded, and

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Speaker 1: red carpets are like really intense, like you're doing interview

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Speaker 1: after interview, You're trying to make sure every angle is right,

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Speaker 1: and it's just like it's a really stressful, like twenty

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Speaker 1: minute period. But they're very fun unless you haven't been

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Speaker 1: eating all day, in which case you're going to be miserable.

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Speaker 1: And I remember there was like three minutes before the

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Speaker 1: show and I told my manager. I was like, if

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Speaker 1: I don't eat something right now, I think I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: pass out. So he ran outside and bridge down arena

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Speaker 1: and got me a piece of pizza and ran back

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Speaker 1: and like, I scarved it down with like thirty seconds

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Speaker 1: before the show started, and I was like on camera.

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Speaker 1: So that was a whole thing. As I processed the breakup,

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Speaker 1: I had to process other things about myself. I didn't

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Speaker 1: just have to be like, oh, how do I get

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Speaker 1: over this boy? I had to be like, how do

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Speaker 1: I fucking love myself when I feel so unlovable? I mean,

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Speaker 1: I've just been cheated on, I lost someone I've been

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Speaker 1: with for six years, Like I feel like I don't

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Speaker 1: deserve to be loved and that's why that happened. And

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Speaker 1: then I was like, oh, well, I do I feel

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Speaker 1: like I don't deserve to be loved. And when you're recovering,

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Speaker 1: everything comes back to you and you have to like

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Speaker 1: go dive back into your childhood and your parents and

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Speaker 1: what that looks like. And as I went through recovery,

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Speaker 1: I started going to therapy. I started seeing a psychiatrist,

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Speaker 1: and I got help for myself and I got the

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Speaker 1: help that I didn't get as a child, and I

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Speaker 1: realized where I learned those habits from. Like, yes, it

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Speaker 1: was the Internet, but also, like everything, as you'll realize

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Speaker 1: in therapy, a lot of it stems from your parents.

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Speaker 1: And my parents had their own issues with food. My

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Speaker 1: mom used to be a model, she was in the

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Speaker 1: Miss USA pageant. She's very, very beautiful, but after she

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Speaker 1: had five children, her body changed. That's just what happens,

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Speaker 1: and she started to want her body back the way

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Speaker 1: it was before. But like, another thing that's really important

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Speaker 1: to acknowledge, especially for women, is over time, your hormones,

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Speaker 1: your body changes. You have children, like and also you know,

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Speaker 1: it's way cooler than having a six pack, creating fucking

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Speaker 1: life out of thin air and just having a child

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Speaker 1: and making people like that's so much cooler than being skinny.

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Speaker 1: And when you're holding yourself to this unattainable goal of

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Speaker 1: looking like you did at seventeen or looking like you

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Speaker 1: did before you had a child, you're going to be disappointed.

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Speaker 1: Like sometimes it's even more damaging to compare yourself to

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Speaker 1: you ten years ago or five years ago than it

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Speaker 1: is to compare yourself to somebody on Instagram. So my

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Speaker 1: mom would always be doing a diet and being like,

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Speaker 1: oh I lost three pounds or whatever, and oh no,

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Speaker 1: I gained it back, And I'm like, humans fluctuate weight,

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Speaker 1: like that's so easily. I mean, like you can retain

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Speaker 1: a lot of water because you ate some chips and

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Speaker 1: and had some salt and then you're bloated for a

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Speaker 1: couple of days. That doesn't mean you're fat, It just

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Speaker 1: means that that's what your body is doing. And then

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Speaker 1: my dad is really into holistic health stuff and an

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Speaker 1: organic food and you know, he's really into that corner

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Speaker 1: of the wellness, you know, hobby industry whatever. And he's

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Speaker 1: also been a vegetarian for forty five years, like a

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Speaker 1: really long time, and I think that that's been a

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Speaker 1: restrictive thing for him. Um, it's also ethical. That's also

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Speaker 1: why I don't eat meat. Um, but I also don't

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Speaker 1: judge anybody else. And I had to kind of eat

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Speaker 1: me in order to go through recovery, because any sort

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Speaker 1: of limiting myself for restricting or feeling guilty if I

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Speaker 1: ate something like I needed to get rid of that.

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Speaker 1: And now I'm at a place where I feel like

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Speaker 1: I can. Also, they have impossible burgers now, so that's

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Speaker 1: wonderful because those are so freaking good. Um. But my

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Speaker 1: dad would put this pressure on himself and then subsequently

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Speaker 1: me and if my sisters brought home McDonald's and I

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Speaker 1: was eating it, i'd get side eye and he would

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Speaker 1: be like, you know, there's so much junk in that

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Speaker 1: it's so bad for you. And like, yeah, he's not wrong,

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Speaker 1: Like fast food is not good for you, but if

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Speaker 1: you eat a happy meal like once, you're not going

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Speaker 1: to die from it, Like your body naturally detoxifies. And

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Speaker 1: it was always him talking about chemicals and toxins and

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Speaker 1: all this stuff that's in your food, and like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's true, Like, don't eat McDonald's every single day for

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Speaker 1: your entire life. But I grew up thinking that there

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Speaker 1: was this distinction between foods that were clean and foods

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Speaker 1: that were dirty, and that's also perpetuated by the wellness industry,

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Speaker 1: and that's so bad because like the clean versus dirty thing,

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Speaker 1: good versus evil, Like you start to look at a

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Speaker 1: piece of cake and think that it's like Satan incarnate,

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Speaker 1: and that's just not accurate, Like it's something that will

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Speaker 1: make you happy in moderation. And my grandma would, you know,

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Speaker 1: make a German chocolate cake because my my family their

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Speaker 1: German immigrants, since she made like the best cake ever.

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Speaker 1: And my dad would like, you know, be a little

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Speaker 1: judge if I ate it. And it came from what

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Speaker 1: he thought was a good place, which was teaching me

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Speaker 1: good habits and and helping me be healthy, but it

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Speaker 1: ended up just really not helping um. So being able

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Speaker 1: to put my finger on that in therapy was really

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Speaker 1: helpful because I was like, oh, that's where that comes from,

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Speaker 1: That's where I learned that, and be being able to

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Speaker 1: acknowledge that is such an important part in moving past it.

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Speaker 1: And just because I consider myself to be recovered from

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Speaker 1: my eating disorder doesn't mean it won't pop up again

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Speaker 1: if I get stressed. That's just how life works, um,

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Speaker 1: But it does mean that I have a lot more

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Speaker 1: resources to fight it if it does, if those thoughts

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Speaker 1: creep back in, and I may be able to go

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Speaker 1: my whole life without ever having anything other than the thoughts. Um.

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Speaker 1: I really hope that I'm able to fight off the

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Speaker 1: habits and never fall down that rabbit hole again of

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Speaker 1: like physically not eating and over working out and all

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Speaker 1: that stuff. But just because it's gone doesn't mean it

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Speaker 1: doesn't affect me. I still find myself to be really

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Speaker 1: weird and controlling about food. Not so much in the

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Speaker 1: amount that I have, but I have like weird little

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Speaker 1: mini panic attacks. If I wanted to go to a

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Speaker 1: certain restaurant, and especially during coronavirus, like you get there

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Speaker 1: and it's closed, and that was the only thing I wanted,

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Speaker 1: and I got really fixated on that, and then I

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Speaker 1: have to change what I was going to eat, and

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Speaker 1: I kind of have a freak out and then I'll

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Speaker 1: be like I'm not even hungry. And one time, UM,

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Speaker 1: I cried in front of my ex boyfriend's entire family

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Speaker 1: on a road trip because we got to Arby's and

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Speaker 1: they were out of roast beef and I literally had

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Speaker 1: to go to the bathroom and cry. And then I

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Speaker 1: was like, I'm not even hungry, and I hadn't eaten

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Speaker 1: in like hours because we were driving through Wyoming and

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Speaker 1: there's not many rest stops, and it was that was

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Speaker 1: pretty embarrassing. And and that's how that manifests for me. Now.

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Speaker 1: Now I found being able to talk about it with

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Speaker 1: my friends is really important, and I know so many

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Speaker 1: boys and girls and men and women who have gone

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Speaker 1: through the same thing, and being able to talk about

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00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:47,000
Speaker 1: it is so so so important because you're like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: that's not me dieting, that's me not eating, and being

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Speaker 1: able to recognize that. I feel like, because I've had

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Speaker 1: needing disorder, I can tell really really quickly if someone

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Speaker 1: else is going through that, because it's like this fixation

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Speaker 1: on talking about dieting, on talking about your body, on

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Speaker 1: doing the thing on Instagram where you zoom in on

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Speaker 1: a girl's six pack and you just dissect the picture.

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Speaker 1: And when I see people doing that, you know, without

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Speaker 1: being aggressive, I'm like, hey, buddy, like, do you want

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00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:19,280
Speaker 1: to talk about that? But one of the best pieces

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00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,800
Speaker 1: of advice I ever got for body image and how

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Speaker 1: it applies to being a woman in the industry was

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Speaker 1: from my friend Kelsey Vallerini, and we were talking about

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Speaker 1: the pressures that are put on, you know, girls in

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Speaker 1: music and and entertainment, and she was like telling me

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00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,959
Speaker 1: about this epiphany that she had had in her own

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Speaker 1: body image self love journey where she was like, wait

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Speaker 1: a second, I'm trying to make myself look like hadid

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00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,720
Speaker 1: why I'm I'm a musician, Like, it is not my

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Speaker 1: job to look like that. Like, if you're a model, yes,

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Speaker 1: it makes sense that you have to like maintain a

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Speaker 1: certain look and like work towards that and have the

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Speaker 1: perfect s bright tand and the perfect hair all the time.

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Speaker 1: But like Kelsey's job and my job is to perform

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Speaker 1: and put on a really fucking good show and write

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00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 1: music that makes people feel things and like put positive

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Speaker 1: stuff into the universe. And being skinny has nothing to

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Speaker 1: do with that. I mean, it has nothing to do

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Speaker 1: with that. So I think that the industry can be

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Speaker 1: so toxic. And so for me having all of this

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Speaker 1: back story, back history with disordered eating and then throwing

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Speaker 1: myself into the music industry where you're like under a

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Speaker 1: literal fucking microscope all the time. It wasn't it wasn't easy.

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Speaker 1: And I think that that's, you know, kind of part

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Speaker 1: of why I had a relapse in and why I

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Speaker 1: have to try so hard every day to wake up

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00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 1: and be like, think good thoughts, think good things about yourself.

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Speaker 1: Shut up that little voice in the back of your

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Speaker 1: head telling you that you look fat in that picture,

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00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:55,160
Speaker 1: or your arm is bad or whatever. And I think

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Speaker 1: that when you're just having pictures taken at different angles

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Speaker 1: all the time, I mean, especially with like camera phones.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, I just had camera phones. I mean

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Speaker 1: like smartphones. God, I sound so old. Who has said

430
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 1: camera phones anytime in the past, like five years? God? Okay, anyways,

431
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:13,919
Speaker 1: phones with cameras makes things so weird because you know,

432
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 1: like you' all will be in the front row taking

433
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 1: a picture upwards and I'm like, oh my god, I

434
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:21,960
Speaker 1: have like twelve chins. I don't have twelve chins. It's

435
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:26,520
Speaker 1: just a bad angle. Even Jennifer freaking Aniston has bad angles,

436
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 1: probably slightly fewer than I do, because you know, Queen Jennifer,

437
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:35,119
Speaker 1: but it's still like everybody has bad angles, and the

438
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:40,440
Speaker 1: average musician has to probably be like a size too,

439
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:43,439
Speaker 1: but the average American woman is a size sixteen and

440
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:46,159
Speaker 1: they're still healthy. Like, I'm going to post something on

441
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,639
Speaker 1: my Twitter that's an article that I found that was

442
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,199
Speaker 1: really helpful, and it's about all the misconceptions we have

443
00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 1: about obesity and how if you are fat, you're unhealthy, Like, no,

444
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:01,520
Speaker 1: you just have fat, Like like I refuse to believe

445
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 1: that Lizzo is not more in shape than I am.

446
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 1: Like Lizzo, I've seen her put on a show. She's

447
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 1: running around stage. She has like this crazy lung capacity

448
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 1: which only happens if you're like working out all the time,

449
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 1: where she can like beult these massive notes and still

450
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,920
Speaker 1: be dancing and doing all this crazy stuff. And like

451
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:22,680
Speaker 1: you're just not going to convince me that she's not

452
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 1: quote unquote in shape and she's fucking gorgeous. I mean,

453
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 1: like it's just I'm so happy that people like Lizzo

454
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:35,399
Speaker 1: exist because seeing somebody who's writing such good music and

455
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:37,840
Speaker 1: is so talented and so cool and can play the

456
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:42,360
Speaker 1: flute but somehow make it like really really cool can

457
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 1: also be bigger, Like you don't have to be skinny

458
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:48,240
Speaker 1: to be the coolest fucking person on the planet. Clearly,

459
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 1: I'm a big Lizzo fan over here. And then on

460
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:53,920
Speaker 1: the other end of the spectrum, you're looking at celebrities

461
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:58,720
Speaker 1: who are posting these skinny teas and these detox supplements

462
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 1: and all this stuff like again and your body detox

463
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:04,880
Speaker 1: is naturally that ship is just exactly that. It's just garbage.

464
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:09,679
Speaker 1: It's just ship. And speaking of ship, detox, tase y'all,

465
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 1: they're just laxatives, like yeah, okay, you're gonna lose five

466
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:16,720
Speaker 1: pounds because you're like shut your brains out, and um,

467
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 1: I know that's gross, but that's what it is. So

468
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 1: anytime you see an Instagram model posting like, oh my god,

469
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 1: I'm a dtox d use code, you know, skinny ten

470
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 1: for ten percent off, they're shipping their brains out later

471
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,320
Speaker 1: if they're actually consuming that, and truth is they're probably not.

472
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 1: So when you see a kardash Tian posting a picture

473
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,600
Speaker 1: with this t like, maybe they didn't even drink it,

474
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,160
Speaker 1: and if they did, it's not why they're skinny. They're

475
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:46,320
Speaker 1: skinny because genetics and they have personal trainers, and they

476
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:48,879
Speaker 1: can afford like really healthy food and like meal plants

477
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:51,480
Speaker 1: and private chefs, and that's like why celebrities are really

478
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:55,160
Speaker 1: really skinny and really in shape, and also like they're

479
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 1: able to bring a personal trainer like traveling with them.

480
00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 1: They're able to do all these things, and like y'all know,

481
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,480
Speaker 1: fitness classes are really expensive and they can afford that,

482
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 1: So don't fool yourself into thinking that the reason they're

483
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:10,240
Speaker 1: skinny is because of this stupid tea. And I actually

484
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 1: turned down a sponsorship thing with um tam et S

485
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:19,920
Speaker 1: because I completely just disagree with the message. I think

486
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:23,919
Speaker 1: it's really screwy, and like I'm into homopathic supplements, Like

487
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:27,159
Speaker 1: I have a drawer full of tease for different things,

488
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 1: but shipping my brain sound is not one of them.

489
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 1: And so I turned on to deal with them, and like,

490
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:34,680
Speaker 1: honestly I kind of needed the money at that point,

491
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 1: but I was like, no, fuck you. And even for

492
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 1: this podcast, when we were talking about like you know

493
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,359
Speaker 1: the point in it where we get potential advertisers on

494
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 1: board there, like are there any things you won't work with?

495
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:48,199
Speaker 1: Any companies you won't work with? And I was like,

496
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 1: companies are test on animals and anything that promotes dieting

497
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 1: or or supplements that are for weight loss or anything

498
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 1: like that, Like I'm just not going to do it.

499
00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:00,600
Speaker 1: Screw that. So it's been an interesting journey to self love.

500
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 1: Obviously being in the industry doesn't make it any easier,

501
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:07,719
Speaker 1: but I just want you guys to know, like I

502
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:10,199
Speaker 1: promised to do everything I can as an artist in

503
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,520
Speaker 1: a quote unquote role model, which I kind of hate

504
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 1: that term, but I understand people are looking at me

505
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:18,800
Speaker 1: and then watching what I'm doing. I refused to post

506
00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:22,200
Speaker 1: a workout routine to try to prove that I'm skinny.

507
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:24,120
Speaker 1: I also kind of refused to work out, so that's

508
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 1: that's probably part of it as well. But um, I've

509
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:29,920
Speaker 1: found things that are really helpful for me that don't

510
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:33,320
Speaker 1: involve numbers. I love, love, love yoga, and I found

511
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 1: that that's been really helpful because it's not about how

512
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:40,560
Speaker 1: much I'm burning, like fat wise or calorie wise, but

513
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 1: it's about what my body can do, and like being

514
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 1: able to do cropos and balance my entire body on

515
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:48,280
Speaker 1: two hands or do a headstad for like five minutes straight,

516
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:51,360
Speaker 1: like that's cool. I'm like, oh wow, my body can

517
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 1: do cooler things than just be skinny. And it's also

518
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 1: so good for my mind, which like I said, like

519
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 1: wellness is about your mind and your body, and you

520
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:03,920
Speaker 1: can't have one without the other. And then I also

521
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 1: just love getting out and doing things with my friends,

522
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:10,000
Speaker 1: like going and locking myself in a gym and running

523
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,400
Speaker 1: on a treadmill towards nothing for an hour. Like that

524
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 1: doesn't sound fun. I've done that. I hate it. All

525
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:16,800
Speaker 1: I think about is the other things I should be

526
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 1: doing and the other things I want to be doing,

527
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 1: So getting out with my friends and doing things like

528
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 1: longboarding or even just going for a walk or anything

529
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 1: active that's like outside and fun, but like not torturing myself.

530
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 1: Like if you wake up and you like need to

531
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 1: go to the gym quote unquote, but you're like dreading

532
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 1: it and you're like I'm gonna go there and be

533
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:40,200
Speaker 1: miserable the entire time, Like why are you doing it?

534
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:44,720
Speaker 1: Like there's ways to be active that you're going to enjoy,

535
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 1: that are going to be fun, And I think we

536
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 1: need to find those things for ourselves that we're not

537
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:52,360
Speaker 1: like hating every second of life when we're working out

538
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 1: and on a treadmill. So I hope that you guys

539
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 1: took something good away from this episode. This is just

540
00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 1: my story like I that it looks a lot of

541
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,200
Speaker 1: different ways for different people, but I just wanted to

542
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:06,400
Speaker 1: share this and kind of elaborate. Thank you so much

543
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 1: for tuning in. I would love it if you guys

544
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:11,680
Speaker 1: would tweet me at Kaylee Shore Instagram DM me let

545
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 1: me know what you thought of this episode, if you

546
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 1: have any questions, and I hope you guys have a

547
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 1: really great week. I'll see you next Wednesday. And this

548
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,040
Speaker 1: has been too much to say. I'm Kaylie Shore. Y'all

549
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 1: are dope asking questions. Turn it out to you