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Speaker 1: Hey, this is jonnas is Sam your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts.

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Speaker 2: We have some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 3: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 3: from the sponsors that keep the show alive.

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Speaker 4: My aunt kept barging into my office, so I banned

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Speaker 4: her during work hours.

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Speaker 5: Get her at it.

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Speaker 4: I thirty six female, took in my mother during the

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Speaker 4: pandemic after some medical issues. I never made her move

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Speaker 4: out after. It works for us. She has her own

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Speaker 4: bedroom and bathroom, we share other spaces and I work

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Speaker 4: from home most of the time so I can look

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Speaker 4: after My stepdad passed away about a decade ago and

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Speaker 4: she was lonely. It made sense for us. By the way,

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Speaker 4: this comes from I am not Lindsay Nagel, and if

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Speaker 4: you want to spit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 4: r slash Okay Storytime Separate. As I mentioned, I work

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Speaker 4: from home most of the time, and a lot of

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Speaker 4: times I'm in some kind of teams meeting or call

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Speaker 4: yes even those that could be emails, but that's not important,

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Speaker 4: so I don't really have time for chitchat during office hours.

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Speaker 4: My mom's sister aka my aunt, which I don't really mind,

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Speaker 4: but she has a tendency to step into my office

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Speaker 4: without knocking while I'm working and start talking to me

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Speaker 4: about her neighbor's sister's kid who did blah blah blah,

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Speaker 4: blah blah. I've more than once explained to her that

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Speaker 4: I'm working and or I'm on a call and I

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Speaker 4: can't really chat right now, but she just keeps talking

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Speaker 4: like nothing happened.

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Speaker 6: Today.

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Speaker 4: She actually announced to my mom she was coming over.

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Speaker 4: I reminded my mom to tell her I'm working and

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Speaker 4: on calls and can't be disturbed, and my mom agreed

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Speaker 4: she would tell her not to bother me, but just

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Speaker 4: to be safe, I locked my office door so she

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Speaker 4: couldn't walk in. Despite my mom telling her, she came

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Speaker 4: upstairs and tried to open the door when it did not.

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Speaker 4: When it didn't open, she started knocking and calling out hello.

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Speaker 7: Hello, it's me Oup and nab no, no no.

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Speaker 4: I didn't respond at first, as I was on a

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Speaker 4: call with a client, but she kept banging on the

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Speaker 4: door so loudly I ended up having to put the

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Speaker 4: client on hold. I told her without opening the door,

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Speaker 4: I was on a call and could not talk right now,

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Speaker 4: and my aunt left in a huff. Now, she's bombarding

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Speaker 4: my mom with text about how rude I was for

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Speaker 4: locking myself in my office knowing I was having company.

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Speaker 4: So am I the a hole? There are some comments

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Speaker 4: there's enough day, But what do you think Antie Survey says, Eh,

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Speaker 4: why would you be the a hole? You're working?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, you're working.

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Speaker 4: Why is your aunt there anyway?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 7: I mean, like, because it's it's good time, it's bed time,

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Speaker 7: so you shouldn't even be over.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 7: It's not like, oh, you just chose to work from

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Speaker 7: home this day, or like, no.

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Speaker 6: You can choose your own schedule because you're working from home.

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Speaker 7: It's like, no, I would be in an office, So

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Speaker 7: let's treat it like I'm in an office literally and

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Speaker 7: I locked the door.

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Speaker 4: Comments Lawyer says, not the a hole. You didn't have company.

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Speaker 4: Your mother did, and it was while you were working.

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Speaker 4: There's nothing to apologize for. Interesting novel nine ninety seven says,

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Speaker 4: not the a hole. Keep your door locked, rinse, repeat,

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Speaker 4: Maybe she'll finally get the hint if she doesn't tell

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Speaker 4: your mom she needs to meet her sister somewhere else.

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Speaker 4: She can't come to the house while you're working.

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Speaker 2: Edit.

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Speaker 4: In response to the Disneyland update. Your ont is a

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Speaker 4: massive a hole. I wonder if her kids still speak

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Speaker 4: to her. Don't know what that means. So mysterious healthy

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Speaker 4: study of forty two twenty says if she keeps ignoring boundaries,

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Speaker 4: she can lose visiting privileges during work hours. It's not

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Speaker 4: complicated to respect a closed door while someone's working. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I think I think those comments are right. I think

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Speaker 4: tell your mom first of all and say, hey, yeah,

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Speaker 4: you need to keep her out and stop her from

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Speaker 4: knocking on my door or you can't have her over.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, because I mean there's only a place for her

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Speaker 7: to stay because I'm working, so let.

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Speaker 6: Me maintain that plea.

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Speaker 4: Yeah update, I did not think I was the a hole,

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Speaker 4: but there's always that hint of doubt when you're like, hmm,

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Speaker 4: maybe I should have poked my head out and said

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Speaker 4: hello real quick. But the truth was, it was a

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Speaker 4: busy day and I just hadn't had the time. After

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Speaker 4: I finished my work day, I took my mom out

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Speaker 4: for dinner and we discussed the matter. She hadn't responded

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Speaker 4: to any of my sisters, any of her sisters, my

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Speaker 4: aunt's texts, because she's fully on my side. I know

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Speaker 4: people are asking why my mom didn't stop her. My

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Speaker 4: mom isn't very mobile anymore, and my aunt simply got

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Speaker 4: up from her seat and took off upstairs despite my

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Speaker 4: mom's warning. We discussed it over dinner, and we agreed

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Speaker 4: that my aunt simply is not welcome during office hours,

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Speaker 4: since it's the only way to stop this behavior. Either

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Speaker 4: she can pick up my mom to go to a

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Speaker 4: coffee shop and talk, come after office hours, or come

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Speaker 4: over on the one day I work in office. My

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Speaker 4: aunt seems pretty pissy about it, calling the brother my

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Speaker 4: uncle to complain also, but he texted me earlier saying

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Speaker 4: he told her how wrong she was, and apparently her

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Speaker 4: husband had also told her she was wrong. So now

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Speaker 4: she's currently stomping her feet at home because everybody's saying

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Speaker 4: she's wrong. Delightful woman, She is good. I'm glad everyone's

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Speaker 4: setting her straight.

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Speaker 6: She's just pouting and throwing a tantrum.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, She's like, but you guys agree, and they're like no,

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Speaker 4: She's like, but but she's doing the thing where she

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Speaker 4: goes Yeah, exactly. Remind me to one day post the

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Speaker 4: story about her walter Land trip.

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Speaker 6: Yes, please do, please do.

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Speaker 4: She has twin boys, and for their birthday, she booked

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Speaker 4: a trip to take them out and one of their

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Speaker 4: friends out to Walterland. The friend ended up canceling last

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Speaker 4: minute and told me if I pay the friends share,

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Speaker 4: I could go. Reasonable enough. I figured why not. I

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Speaker 4: was sixteen at the time. This story is like twenty

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Speaker 4: years old. Oh wow, I'm European, so this is in

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Speaker 4: Paris and I'm not from France, so this is an

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Speaker 4: international trip. This becomes important later. My cousins are maybe

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Speaker 4: tennis at this point. So anyways, we're in the parks

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Speaker 4: and she's been a menace all trip, but I'm dealing

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Speaker 4: with it. It's the last day, about five hours before

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Speaker 4: we have to take our train back home. International traveling

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Speaker 4: train with customs, etc. Like a plane would be only

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Speaker 4: less forty times. One of my cousins wants to go

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Speaker 4: on the rock and Roll roller coaster, the other one doesn't.

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Speaker 4: The line is like five minutes or less, so my

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Speaker 4: aunt tells me to go with them and she'll wait

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Speaker 4: at the exit with our bags. So I leave my

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Speaker 4: bag containing my phone, my ID, my money, everything in

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Speaker 4: her care.

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Speaker 6: Uh oh.

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Speaker 4: Ten minutes later, me and my cousin get out of

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Speaker 4: the ride and she's gone, so I start looking around,

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Speaker 4: cannot find her. After half an hour of waiting, maybe

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Speaker 4: they maybe they went to the bathroom or something. Still nothing.

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Speaker 4: We go check the bathrooms, neighboring rides, the works. No Aunt,

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Speaker 4: I have no phone on me to call her, and

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Speaker 4: with us having to leave for the train in four hours,

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Speaker 4: I get nervous. I'm a sixteen year old with a

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Speaker 4: ten year old at my hand and no money, no ID,

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Speaker 4: no phone, nothing, So I decide to go to the

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Speaker 4: Lost Kids department and explain my situation. They end up

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Speaker 4: calling her through the park's intercom. Another hour goes by,

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Speaker 4: No Aunt. I remember my dad's phone number back home,

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Speaker 4: so I use the landline to call him and he

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Speaker 4: tries calling her cell phone my cell phone, no response whatsoever.

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Speaker 4: At this point, I have like an hour or less

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Speaker 4: before the train leaves, and I'm in hysterics because I

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Speaker 4: can't board this train without money or ID, let alone

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Speaker 4: without let alone with another miner. My cousin at this point,

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Speaker 4: seeing my panic, is crying his eyes out, so I'm

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Speaker 4: also dealing with a scared child. I'm barely an adult myself.

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Speaker 4: My dad eventually tells me it makes no sense for

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Speaker 4: him to drive out to Paris right now to go

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Speaker 4: back to our hotel. He'll pay for another night and

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Speaker 4: I'll come pick us up in the morning. So I

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Speaker 4: take my cousin back to the hotel, explain the situation

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Speaker 4: and the reception. Hears me say my name and says, oh, sweetheart,

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Speaker 4: I have a note for you. It's a note from

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Speaker 4: my aunt, gone to dinner, see you on the train

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Speaker 4: as you abandon her own at a park with ope,

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Speaker 4: no phone, no nothing, And then they miss the train

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Speaker 4: because she tells the hotel.

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Speaker 5: Right gone to dinner.

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Speaker 4: Well, I would literally never trust that person ever again.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I would cut them off.

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Speaker 4: It's crazy, and there is a little bit left to

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Speaker 4: the story, so let's get into it please. At this point,

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Speaker 4: I have half an hour to run to the station,

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Speaker 4: hoping we'll still get through customs where she's supposed to

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Speaker 4: be waiting. I make it with fifteen minutes to spare.

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Speaker 4: I'm out of breath and fuming. We end up making

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Speaker 4: it through customs, god only knows how, and managed to

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Speaker 4: get on the train literally as the doors close on us.

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Speaker 4: I call my dad explain the update, and he's also fuming.

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Speaker 4: At this point, to which my aunt turns to me

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Speaker 4: and goes, I don't know why you're so mad. I

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Speaker 4: left it at the hotel, and I brought you something

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Speaker 4: to eat and hands me a freaking dinner roll.

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Speaker 5: He hands you a roll of bread.

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Speaker 4: If that's what I'm understanding that to be, she's your

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Speaker 4: roll of bread.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I took my stuff, went to the dining car with

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Speaker 4: my cousin, who she almost abandoned, and gave him the

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Speaker 4: biggest slice of chocolate cake my budget could buy, and

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Speaker 4: never came back to our seats to talk to her.

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Speaker 4: I literally would never have talked to her again. I

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Speaker 4: would never have talked to her again.

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Speaker 5: Wow. Yeah, dude.

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Speaker 4: Comments B Free sixty six says, I read your original

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Speaker 4: story plusure update. Aunt is an incredible ahole. I don't

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Speaker 4: know why anyone would spend any length of time around

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Speaker 4: her given the behaviors she's shown over the years. What

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Speaker 4: the f is wrong with her brain that she thinks

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Speaker 4: her behaviors are reasonable. I can't imagine the varying kinds

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Speaker 4: of nonsense her husband has dealt with. I like the

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Speaker 4: decision you stated in your update she's not invited over

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Speaker 4: on workdays. I literally would never invite her. I would

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Speaker 4: even severely limit the amount of time and hours she's

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Speaker 4: at your place, even during non workdays, at least initially,

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Speaker 4: so On understands the gravity of her f up behaviors.

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Speaker 4: Why allow on to inflict more misery on your mom

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Speaker 4: or yourself? Aunt isn't worth that kind of It's a shame.

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Speaker 4: Aunt doesn't behave better. She and everyone else would enjoy

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Speaker 4: life more if she did. And folks, that's the end

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Speaker 4: of that story. But yeah, my.

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Speaker 7: Goodness, she's sucked. Yeah, she's the worst. My father turned

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Speaker 7: his back on me. Now he wants to rekindle.

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Speaker 5: Too bad.

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Speaker 4: I can't see you because my back's turned now.

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Speaker 5: And guess what.

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Speaker 7: This comes directly from the r slash okay story time

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Speaker 7: is separated it so if you are in the chat

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Speaker 7: right now or in the comments later, comment down below.

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Speaker 6: We want to hear your voice, do it.

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Speaker 7: So Hello, big fan of the podcast, and I've been

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Speaker 7: following on Facebook and recently Spotify as well.

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Speaker 6: Oh good story, Thank you so much.

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Speaker 7: I twenty eight non binary, have cut both my biological

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Speaker 7: parents off, the dad at twenty five and the mom

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Speaker 7: at twenty seven. Dad is a covert, self absorbed person,

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Speaker 7: and Mom was his flying monkey and still is. By

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Speaker 7: the way, this comes from SIRCF the c twenty seven

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Speaker 7: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 7: to the r slash Okay story time sepreddit. So allow

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Speaker 7: me the time to give you some backstory. I, at

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Speaker 7: ten was parentified and would babysit my little brother full

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Speaker 7: blood brother six at this time, every day after school

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Speaker 7: and for quite a while on the weekends.

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Speaker 6: The bios were divorced. At this point Dad claims Mom cheated,

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Speaker 6: but I believe he cheated as well. They both suck.

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Speaker 7: I was an accidental pregnancy and Dad married her to

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Speaker 7: do the right thing. A stupid choice really. I was

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Speaker 7: treated fine as a baby baby and a baby kid,

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Speaker 7: but when my brother was born that changed. I never

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Speaker 7: had any negative feelings towards my brother. It wasn't his fault.

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Speaker 6: Our parents were favoriting him.

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Speaker 7: Dad married shortly after the divorce, only to divorce her

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Speaker 7: to maybe three years later.

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Speaker 6: He would claim that she was crazy.

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Speaker 7: She told me years later and provided proof that he

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Speaker 7: cheated on her with an at the time coworker of his.

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Speaker 7: I at this point had done everything I could to

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Speaker 7: be the perfect daughter. Point came when I introduced dad

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Speaker 7: to my fiance. I am polyamorous and was legally married

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Speaker 7: at this time. The wedding to my fiance would be

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Speaker 7: a commitment ceremony, no legality to it. Yes, my husband

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Speaker 7: knew and had met my fiance. I was so happy

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Speaker 7: and I wanted my father to meet my fiance.

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Speaker 6: And be involved in my life.

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Speaker 7: I had also at this point come out as a

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Speaker 7: non binary and had asked him to use they then pronounced.

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Speaker 7: I was fully aware that the change was not something

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Speaker 7: that could be implemented overnight. However, his response was I'm

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Speaker 7: not gonna do that for my daughter, and that's that.

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Speaker 6: I was crushed but didn't want.

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Speaker 2: To fight about it.

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Speaker 7: When he proceeded to then say in front of my

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Speaker 7: partners that it wasn't a real relationship and he was

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Speaker 7: disappointed in me for being a witch?

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Speaker 6: What where'd that come.

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Speaker 7: From, Dang, I don't think I don't think that makes

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Speaker 7: you a witch. No, people, this is not the first

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Speaker 7: time he called me that. On my seventeenth birthday, I

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Speaker 7: cleaned the garage and set it up for a mystery

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Speaker 7: game themed party. I slept in a small room off

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Speaker 7: the main part of the garage because he had an

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Speaker 7: IVF baby with his third wife, and her daughter needed

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Speaker 7: my room, and.

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Speaker 6: As a teen, you can handle the garage.

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Speaker 7: I didn't fight it, but I felt like an outsider

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Speaker 7: in my father's house.

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Speaker 6: Whatever, though I could handle.

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Speaker 5: It, I'm sorry. He's on his third wife.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and he's mad at you for having two partners. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: kinda kind of crazy. Come on, dude, I don't know

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Speaker 4: if you guys, if this guy knows much about commitment.

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Speaker 7: Back to the meet, I decided that I was done.

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Speaker 7: A few weeks later, I asked him to meet up

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Speaker 7: so that we could talk. I told him how I felt.

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Speaker 7: I told him I felt disrespected and unloved every time

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Speaker 7: I talked to him about the things that made me

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Speaker 7: happy or made me feel more like myself. I brought

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Speaker 7: up how he didn't pay for anything for the wedding

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Speaker 7: like he promised me when I got engaged.

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Speaker 5: He countered with paying.

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Speaker 6: For the officiant.

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Speaker 7: I asked if that was really what he wanted to

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Speaker 7: use as a defense, because she was an active labor

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Speaker 7: at the ceremony.

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Speaker 5: What what?

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Speaker 7: I didn't know this until he pulled me aside to

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Speaker 7: tell me that he paid her.

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Speaker 6: So she go to the hospital for the birth.

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Speaker 5: I'm sorry.

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Speaker 6: So he was like.

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Speaker 4: She was like, uh, she was an active labor and

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Speaker 4: he was like, oh, pe, look I paid for the

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Speaker 4: thing I paid for.

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Speaker 5: I helped you. I helped you.

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Speaker 4: Look at the thing I paid for And he's like, no,

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Speaker 4: I appreciate it.

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Speaker 5: But they but she left half.

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Speaker 6: Way through the ceremony.

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Speaker 7: Did she did he pay her extra so that she

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Speaker 7: could go to the hospital that it seems like I'll

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Speaker 7: pay He was like, oh, get you the uber. She

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Speaker 7: and the baby are good. I checked on her after

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Speaker 7: the wedding. He then proceeded to talk down to me

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Speaker 7: and once again gaslight me into keeping the relationship.

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Speaker 6: I didn't speak to.

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Speaker 7: Him outside of a few texts here and there. At

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Speaker 7: twenty five, I had finally had enough when he made

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Speaker 7: a really insensitive comment about my accident in the past

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Speaker 7: that they caused I have Crone's disease. I wrote him

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Speaker 7: a very long and honest message about how I've felt

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Speaker 7: every day since the divorce, how he consistently made me

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Speaker 7: feel like I was never enough, how I could never

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Speaker 7: match up to his sons, the IVF baby, and my

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Speaker 7: full brother and his new daughter, my stepsister, his third

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Speaker 7: wife's child from her previous marriage. How I was good

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Speaker 7: for free childcare and house maintenance. How he never treated

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Speaker 7: me like I was his child. He blew up, but

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Speaker 7: I blocked him. I hadn't heard from him since I

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Speaker 7: was still speaking to my mother, but I had asked

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Speaker 7: her to not relay any information about me to him.

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Speaker 7: I later found out that she was telling him things great,

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Speaker 7: exactly what we did not ask you to do.

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Speaker 5: Stop telling him things.

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Speaker 7: I tried so hard to keep my relationship with my

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Speaker 7: mother because I still desperately wanted to be loved by

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Speaker 7: at least one biological parent, but I wasn't. I ended

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Speaker 7: up getting cold water thrown on me when my fiance

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Speaker 7: ghosted me after I started dating a girl, and the

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Speaker 7: girl who went through the same thing opened my eyes

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Speaker 7: to the self absorbed person that I had married. I

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Speaker 7: wanted to believe that he wasn't, but the evidence was damning.

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Speaker 7: I met my current partner on a dating app in

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Speaker 7: January of twenty twenty four called boo in Match just

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Speaker 7: based on our personality types, which was spot on. We

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Speaker 7: started as friends and spoke online every day for two

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Speaker 7: months before he came to see me in person for

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Speaker 7: the first time. He lives in another country, so we

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Speaker 7: planned a sleepover. After we met in person a few times,

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Speaker 7: I was firmly not interested in a relationship.

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Speaker 6: As I was going through the divorce and was licking

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Speaker 6: my wounds.

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Speaker 7: He drove me three hours to the previous town that

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Speaker 7: I lived in with my ex husband so that I

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Speaker 7: could attend the divorce hearing in person. He was my

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Speaker 7: moral support and the muscle in case he showed up too. Thankfully,

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Speaker 7: he attended over zoom and I felt less afraid seeing

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Speaker 7: on screen versus in person. The divorce was finalized and

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Speaker 7: over with on April first, twenty twenty four. So now

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Speaker 7: fast forward to May twenty twenty four, and I was

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Speaker 7: on the phone with my mother, sobbing and recounting everything

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Speaker 7: me and my therapist had talked about and worked through.

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Speaker 6: Once I was ready to accept that she was a narcissist.

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Speaker 7: I cried about feeling so stupid and used and how

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Speaker 7: I wished I had known when she hit with a

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Speaker 7: soul crushing sentence, Well, he says, you were the self

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Speaker 7: absorbed person, and we won't really know the truth.

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Speaker 4: Their mom said that, Yeah, is that's insane?

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Speaker 7: Yeah, dude, whoa he says you were the self absorbed one,

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Speaker 7: so we don't even know.

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Speaker 5: Like, that's crazy.

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Speaker 6: Come on, dude, that's crazy.

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Speaker 7: Oh my gosh, I felt my heart shatter in my chest.

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Speaker 6: We ended the call and I didn't talk to her

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Speaker 6: after that.

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Speaker 7: I got a message from her after leaving her on

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Speaker 7: red for weeks, I couldn't figure out what to say,

380
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:33,160
Speaker 7: asking if I was busy or just not speaking to her.

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00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,800
Speaker 7: I sent a long message back outlining the ways that

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Speaker 7: she and I couldn't work, how she made me feel

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Speaker 7: that she would always put herself first, and how she

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Speaker 7: had no problem speaking to my abuser of ten years,

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Speaker 7: but she couldn't treat me like her child.

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Speaker 6: Then I blocked her.

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Speaker 7: In June twenty twenty four, my partner and I decided

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Speaker 7: that we wanted a relationship with each other.

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Speaker 6: We laughed when we realized we decided to get together.

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Speaker 7: During Pride Month three months ago, my baby Juice Stoner,

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Speaker 7: reached out out through LinkedIn to let me know that

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Speaker 7: his middle brother had passed. I blocked and thought nothing

393
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Speaker 7: of it, and truly don't care about most of his

394
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Speaker 7: side of the family.

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Speaker 6: His mother has and.

396
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Speaker 7: Always will make excuses for him and has emotionally manipulated

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Speaker 7: me in the past to stay in contact with him.

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Speaker 6: I refuse to be mistreated anymore.

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Speaker 7: There is a little bit more to the story, but

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Speaker 7: what a piece of worry.

401
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:25,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, their mom is y Wow. Yeah, your parents

402
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,840
Speaker 5: really kind of stuck. It's not just your dad.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,000
Speaker 7: Last week I was scrolling through TikTok and received a

405
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Speaker 7: notification that someone had fewed my profile. Color me surprised

406
00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:37,439
Speaker 7: when it was once again the Baby Juice donor. I

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Speaker 7: messaged him asking him to leave me alone or I

408
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:42,440
Speaker 7: would report him for stalking. Not sure if I can

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Speaker 7: or not, but the threat was enough. I think I

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00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,720
Speaker 7: once again blocked him. I also took a screenshot of

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Speaker 7: the message, which included his screen name.

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Speaker 2: It was his real name.

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Speaker 7: He is not that clever, and methinks I have since

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Speaker 7: decided to make TikTok videos and I have started spilling

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Speaker 7: the details of my life.

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Speaker 6: And the abuse.

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Speaker 7: The Baby Juice Down's youngest brother, my favorite uncle, is

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Speaker 7: eleven to twelve years older than me and has been

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Speaker 7: my biggest support and the only positive male role model

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Speaker 7: I had. But unfortunately, because the donor doesn't like him,

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00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,760
Speaker 7: I didn't get to see him much growing up. We

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00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,880
Speaker 7: have since reconnected and our relationship is steadily getting better.

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Speaker 7: He has also publicly apologized for not doing more for me.

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Speaker 7: But I don't blame him. I kept everything hidden. I

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00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,639
Speaker 7: felt ashamed and like it was my fault. I'm currently

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00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:29,600
Speaker 7: getting better and working through all the trauma and pain,

427
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Speaker 7: and that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, focus on yourself. Yeah, that's the most important thing. Yeah.

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Speaker 7: I'm glad that your relationship with him is improving and

430
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:43,399
Speaker 7: that you guys are able to, you know, create something

431
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Speaker 7: that wasn't possible in the past.

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Speaker 5: I agree.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, so it feels like things are hopefully looking up. Yeah,

434
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:55,159
Speaker 7: but thank you for sharing that story. My mother planned

435
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Speaker 7: a trip I would hate, so I refuse to go.

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00:19:58,680 --> 00:19:59,840
Speaker 5: I hate it. I don't want to go.

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00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:04,080
Speaker 4: For context, I sixteen female and my mom forty one female,

438
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,160
Speaker 4: go on two trips every summer.

439
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,240
Speaker 5: Wow Wow.

440
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,960
Speaker 4: The first trip is visiting family and the second trip

441
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:13,159
Speaker 4: is a week long camping trip in Cape Cod with

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Speaker 4: one of her best friends forty six female, I'll call

443
00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:19,119
Speaker 4: her Shelley, and her daughter ten female, I'll call her Ella.

444
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,560
Speaker 4: This would be the fourth year we do the trip,

445
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:26,480
Speaker 4: and every year it's worse than before. Oh Man By

446
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,080
Speaker 4: the way, this comes from Possible Object ninety six to

447
00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 4: sixty six and if you want to spend your own stories,

448
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:33,919
Speaker 4: go to the r slash Okay Storytime severed it so

449
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:39,000
Speaker 4: Ella is a very spoiled child who constantly throws tantrums

450
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:42,119
Speaker 4: and screams no matter where we are, and Shelley finds

451
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:45,919
Speaker 4: it cute and lets it happen. What Shelley insists on

452
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,200
Speaker 4: controlling the whole trip and gets mad if I want

453
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,520
Speaker 4: to do something that her and her kid don't, But

454
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,480
Speaker 4: she does not actually plan anything. She just talks about

455
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:56,000
Speaker 4: stuff we never end up doing. There are times she

456
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,520
Speaker 4: has planned something, but Shelley is always at least an

457
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:02,359
Speaker 4: hour late to literally everything usually more so we never

458
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:06,320
Speaker 4: end up doing anything. And while I understand being late, sometimes,

459
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 4: this is every time, no matter where we are or

460
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:13,560
Speaker 4: what we're doing. And while all that upsets me, I

461
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,480
Speaker 4: can handle it. But what really bugs me is that Shelley,

462
00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:20,919
Speaker 4: who is a grown woman, constantly talks bad about me

463
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:25,920
Speaker 4: to everyone, especially her child, and tells people I'm special

464
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:29,639
Speaker 4: and that I just struggle with stuff. For context, I

465
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:33,960
Speaker 4: have sensory issues ADHD, severe anxiety, and I'm also chronically ill,

466
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 4: which I know is a lot, but when she says this,

467
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:41,480
Speaker 4: she's referring to what she says me refusing to babysit

468
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:44,480
Speaker 4: her kid. I did in the past, and she refused

469
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:45,680
Speaker 4: to pay me, so I quit.

470
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 2: After a few months.

471
00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 5: So you refuse to babysit.

472
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:53,359
Speaker 4: Her child and she's like, oh, he's just special's she

473
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:54,280
Speaker 4: can't get at you.

474
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:55,879
Speaker 2: She's just special.

475
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:59,119
Speaker 4: I should also mention Shelley is a therapist, which to

476
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,360
Speaker 4: me makes her behave You're inexcusable. There are many more

477
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,119
Speaker 4: things Shelley does, but I won't get into that. But

478
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:08,359
Speaker 4: because all of that, in November twenty twenty four, I

479
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,480
Speaker 4: told my mom I would not be doing the Cape

480
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:13,760
Speaker 4: Cod trip this year, and she accepted that. I thought

481
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:16,240
Speaker 4: that would be the end of it. A few months later,

482
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:18,600
Speaker 4: my mom talked to me about instead having a beach

483
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 4: day for her birthday like we always do, but when

484
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,840
Speaker 4: we do the Cape Cod trip. I immediately shut her down.

485
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:26,439
Speaker 4: I know it's for her birthday, but that trip is

486
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,440
Speaker 4: so draining for me every year and I just can't

487
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:32,120
Speaker 4: do it. It started an argument, but in the end

488
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 4: we agreed we would just do the beach day and

489
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:37,440
Speaker 4: not go to Cape Cod. Again. I thought that would

490
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,960
Speaker 4: be the end of it until Ella's birthday party last month,

491
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,399
Speaker 4: when I overheard my mom talking to someone about the

492
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:46,960
Speaker 4: Cape Cod trip, and thinking she was talking about previous years,

493
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,919
Speaker 4: I went over to join the conversation, and I was

494
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:54,480
Speaker 4: shocked to hear that no, she was talking about this year.

495
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,840
Speaker 4: Well apparently they had booked eight months ago and never

496
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 4: told me. To say I was upset was an understatement,

497
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 4: and I ended up having a panic attack in the

498
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:08,080
Speaker 4: bathroom just thinking about that trip. So I made plans

499
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,199
Speaker 4: to spend the week with my dad, who lives in

500
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:14,200
Speaker 4: Texas instead. I knew it would hurt my mom by

501
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:17,159
Speaker 4: not being there, but that trip is always miserable for me,

502
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:17,639
Speaker 4: and I just.

503
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:18,200
Speaker 5: Can't do it.

504
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:22,040
Speaker 4: And when I told my mom, she accepted it. Telling

505
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:25,880
Speaker 4: Shelley was a different story. She went on a rant

506
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:28,240
Speaker 4: about how it's my mom's birthday and how it wouldn't

507
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 4: be the same without me, and that I should come

508
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:32,480
Speaker 4: an hour, a kid will miss me and my mom

509
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 4: will be sad, and continued on like that for twenty minutes.

510
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,880
Speaker 4: And while that doesn't affect my decision, I have been

511
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,920
Speaker 4: told by others that it's very disrespectful to my mom

512
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 4: and that I'm horrible for going to Texas instead.

513
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:48,880
Speaker 5: So I just want to know. Am I the a hole?

514
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:51,040
Speaker 5: And there is an update folks?

515
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:52,320
Speaker 2: But what do you think?

516
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:53,240
Speaker 6: I think?

517
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 7: No, if you wanted me at the trip so bad,

518
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:59,440
Speaker 7: then don't be so terrible on the trips, don't freakings

519
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,400
Speaker 7: and maybe I'd go.

520
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, but there is an update.

521
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,240
Speaker 4: Okay, So, first of all, I did not expect my

522
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,119
Speaker 4: first post to blow up, so thank you.

523
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:09,680
Speaker 1: Now.

524
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 5: A lot of you had.

525
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,280
Speaker 4: Questions or suggestions, but I'm going to do my best

526
00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:15,240
Speaker 4: to respond to them as well as clear up a

527
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:18,159
Speaker 4: few things. A lot of you had questions like why

528
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:20,159
Speaker 4: do I not live with my dad? And while there

529
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:23,439
Speaker 4: are many reasons and the situation is quite complicated, to

530
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,880
Speaker 4: sum it up, he moved away many years ago and.

531
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:26,880
Speaker 2: I stayed with my mother.

532
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:30,600
Speaker 4: We had a rocky relationship for many years after he moved,

533
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,040
Speaker 4: but we are now quite close and while I do

534
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:35,120
Speaker 4: love to visit him, my life is in New England.

535
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:37,960
Speaker 4: It's where I'm from, it's where my family is, and

536
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:40,919
Speaker 4: most importantly, it's where my little sister is and I

537
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,639
Speaker 4: could never leave her. A lot of you also wanted

538
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 4: to know if my mother knows how Shelley is towards me,

539
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,200
Speaker 4: and if not suggested, I tell her as well as

540
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,000
Speaker 4: what my relationship with my mother is like and more

541
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:55,920
Speaker 4: about how my relationship with Shelley is and to answer that, yes,

542
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 4: my mother is fully aware of Shelley's behavior towards me

543
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,399
Speaker 4: and has never done anything about it. The most she

544
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,639
Speaker 4: has ever done about it is to say that she

545
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:06,920
Speaker 4: will talk to Shelley about it, but she never does.

546
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 4: My relationship with Shelley is interesting. I'd say we have

547
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,919
Speaker 4: never been really close and I have never truly respected

548
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 4: her for many reasons, such as how she raises her

549
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:19,960
Speaker 4: kid and how she treats me like I'm helpless yet

550
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,159
Speaker 4: at the same time like I'm immature. But even with

551
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:26,240
Speaker 4: all that, she calls us chosen family. She's like, I

552
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:29,080
Speaker 4: wouldn't have chosen you, but yeah.

553
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,200
Speaker 6: It's like maybe you chose you.

554
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:33,680
Speaker 4: I only didn't choose you, something I don't agree with,

555
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:35,919
Speaker 4: but there's nothing I can do about it. I have

556
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,359
Speaker 4: tried to avoid hanging out with them, but to no avail,

557
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,760
Speaker 4: so I just have to wait it out. Over the

558
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 4: past few years, I have slowly distanced myself from them,

559
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 4: as well as dropping the act they have forced me into.

560
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 2: I plan to.

561
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:51,840
Speaker 4: Continue doing this, as well as expressing my feelings to

562
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 4: Shelley more about what I think about her and her child.

563
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:59,760
Speaker 4: I honestly, I don't know if you need to do that.

564
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,240
Speaker 6: Yeah, I probably wouldn't, especially it was only sixteen.

565
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like at that point it's like Mom

566
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 4: should be going.

567
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:09,000
Speaker 6: It should be the in between.

568
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:09,159
Speaker 3: You know.

569
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've already noticed that all of this is slowly

570
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,879
Speaker 4: getting to Shelley, and I have no plan to stop

571
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,199
Speaker 4: until my eighteenth birthday, when I will be done with

572
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:20,160
Speaker 4: them for good and plan to never see them again.

573
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,560
Speaker 4: As many of you guessed, my mom and I are

574
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:25,439
Speaker 4: not close and never really happen. Although we live in

575
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 4: the same house, we rarely talk, and when we do

576
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:29,359
Speaker 4: it usually ends in an argument.

577
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 5: Dang my whole life.

578
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:33,720
Speaker 4: She has always said she want how she always wanted

579
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 4: a daughter, yet actually having to take care of a

580
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,720
Speaker 4: kid and raise them has never been her thing. From

581
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:40,960
Speaker 4: a young age, I learned to cook, clean and do

582
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,879
Speaker 4: the dishes and laundry and things like that, as my

583
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 4: mom spent most of her days in her room watching

584
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 4: Team my entire childhood. It was either that or she

585
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,480
Speaker 4: would be mad at me for absolutely nothing and constantly

586
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,680
Speaker 4: complained that I didn't help out enough. So yeah, it's

587
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:58,439
Speaker 4: safe to say we're not close. And even when she

588
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:00,919
Speaker 4: is in a good mood, she has always decided something

589
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:04,639
Speaker 4: was more important than me, such as her boyfriends, And

590
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:07,399
Speaker 4: every time that relationship doesn't go how she wants or

591
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:11,400
Speaker 4: she comes to her senses, she apologizes, but nothing ever

592
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:14,440
Speaker 4: changes with her and I always get hurt because of it.

593
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:16,960
Speaker 5: But there is a little bit left to this story.

594
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:18,440
Speaker 5: Do you have any final thoughts?

595
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:20,719
Speaker 7: Ah, the fact that she's not that close with her

596
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 7: mother does change things a bit, I feel with like

597
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:27,960
Speaker 7: talking to Shelley, sorry, the fact that she's like not

598
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:31,160
Speaker 7: as close with her mother, I feel like it does. Yeah,

599
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:33,320
Speaker 7: it's like I mean, yeah, like if you usually have

600
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:35,640
Speaker 7: an argument, then they might have an argument about that.

601
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 6: Probably.

602
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, So maybe like it would be more helpful to

603
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,959
Speaker 4: talk to Shelley, or maybe it would be like not

604
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,040
Speaker 4: helpful to talk to either person, Like it might be

605
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:44,679
Speaker 4: just the kind of thing that you just kind of

606
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,320
Speaker 4: have to either put up with or like hang out

607
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:50,320
Speaker 4: with your dad instead when Shelley's there, Right, I feel

608
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:53,880
Speaker 4: like if Shelley like mentioned something in person, like rather

609
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 4: than saying like oh, hey that one time, or like

610
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:59,119
Speaker 4: when you do this, this bothers me, maybe like if

611
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:00,040
Speaker 4: it happens again.

612
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 5: Like yeah, can you not do this?

613
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 6: Yeah? Like I don't really, I don't like it. You know,

614
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 6: when you do that, I be fine, I agree.

615
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 4: But there is a little bit left to this story,

616
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,679
Speaker 4: so let's finish her off. Due to all of that,

617
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 4: I do have a plan I've been working on for

618
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,440
Speaker 4: over six years now, which since.

619
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:18,760
Speaker 2: She was ten.

620
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 6: Dang.

621
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 4: I will be moving out as soon as I turn eighteen,

622
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:24,600
Speaker 4: and planned to go very low contact with her and

623
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:27,720
Speaker 4: no contact with the rest of her family. Okay, that

624
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:29,719
Speaker 4: was a lot longer than I expected, and I got

625
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,920
Speaker 4: a bit sidetracked. But now time for the update. Unfortunately,

626
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 4: this is not the update I'd hope to be giving,

627
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 4: but my grandmother's health health has deteriorated quite a lot

628
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,320
Speaker 4: in the last week, so instead of me spending two

629
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:43,440
Speaker 4: weeks in Texas with my dad, I was with her

630
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,720
Speaker 4: for a few days. I've also been told that I

631
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 4: will be going on the Cape Con trip and that

632
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:48,240
Speaker 4: I no.

633
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 5: Longer have a choice in the matter. Jermm, doesn't even like.

634
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 4: You happened to my mother, who at one point said

635
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:55,480
Speaker 4: it was okay for me to go to Texas, has

636
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 4: changed her mind and is now against it. So in

637
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:00,760
Speaker 4: just a few days, I will be in Cape Cod

638
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:02,600
Speaker 4: with my mother, Shelley, and Ella.

639
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 2: Yikes.

640
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:06,400
Speaker 4: Although this is not what I wanted, I will be

641
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:08,600
Speaker 4: trying to make the best of it and will definitely

642
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 4: be taking some of your suggestions, especially when it comes

643
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 4: to dealing with Shelley and her child and folks.

644
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 5: That is the end of that story.

645
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 4: Good luck, okie. It really sucks that your mom sucks. Yeah,

646
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:24,720
Speaker 4: and her friends and her friend's kids sucks.

647
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 7: Yeah.

648
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 4: Got two more years of this, you know, put up

649
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 4: with it the best you can.

650
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 5: You're close.

651
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, it does, so that really does.

652
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 2: Hey it's Sam, I'm your ogi host here bring you

653
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:39,600
Speaker 2: back to the stories.

654
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:42,080
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657
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659
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660
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661
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Speaker 3: On me with a repulsive woman, thirty female, who knew

662
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663
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664
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:10,000
Speaker 3: he accidentally sent me a text that was meant for her.

665
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:12,600
Speaker 3: I cut contact and tried to move on, but he

666
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:15,400
Speaker 3: was persistent, and eventually we got back together.

667
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 2: By the way, this.

668
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 3: Comes from user Tristrio, and if you want to submit

669
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 3: your own stories, go to the r slash showcase storytime

670
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 3: se read it. There was a drastic change in our

671
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:25,800
Speaker 3: relationship after that.

672
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:30,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think maybe for the best. If you're going

673
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 2: to get back together, things have to change.

674
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 1: Something's got to change.

675
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 6: Uh.

676
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 2: He seemed to lose all interest in other women in general.

677
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 3: He said that the time without me had been an

678
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 3: eye opener and that he never wanted to feel like

679
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 3: that again and wanted to better himself in every way possible.

680
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 3: It took a long time for me to even remotely

681
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:53,320
Speaker 3: trust him again, but it happened with time.

682
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 2: I thought I was over what had happened.

683
00:30:55,920 --> 00:31:00,080
Speaker 3: My mom, everyone's best therapist, right kind of pounded it

684
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,280
Speaker 3: into me that I had two options, either break up

685
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 3: and move on or get back together and work past it.

686
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 1: Accurate are the two options? Yeah?

687
00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 2: Yeah?

688
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 3: What she was saying was that if I made the

689
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 3: decision to be with him. We had to work past it.

690
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:17,600
Speaker 3: I couldn't be with him and use this as some

691
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:21,120
Speaker 3: sort of tool or weapon to whip out whenever I

692
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 3: wanted to.

693
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 2: Over the years, and she was right, that wouldn't have worked.

694
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 2: So we worked it out together.

695
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:30,280
Speaker 3: He never tried to excuse his actions, which I appreciated,

696
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:33,080
Speaker 3: and we both made changes, and then we kind of

697
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 3: grew up. We started from square one and built up

698
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:39,959
Speaker 3: from there. We bought a couple houses, we got married,

699
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,560
Speaker 3: and life was good. I didn't think about it much

700
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 3: at all, and when I did, it was kind of

701
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 3: a look how far we've come sort of way. Like

702
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 3: I said, I thought I was over it this whole time.

703
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:53,920
Speaker 3: Apparently though I'm not. When I walked into my office

704
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 3: last week, the first thing I see in the waiting

705
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 3: room is the.

706
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 2: Other girl's nasty face.

707
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 1: Oh riad a, repulsa, rita repulsa. Yeah, there we go.

708
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,080
Speaker 2: She had been hired with my company and it was

709
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 2: her first day.

710
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:11,160
Speaker 3: She has a very unique pig like face that is

711
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:12,360
Speaker 3: impossible to forget.

712
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:15,880
Speaker 1: Oh Lord, all right, hope.

713
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 3: I didn't acknowledge her and went to my office, but

714
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:22,840
Speaker 3: I couldn't concentrate. I don't want to be anywhere near

715
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 3: this awful person. We work in the same department, but

716
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 3: on different teams, so we will have pretty close contact

717
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 3: on a day to day basis, although not constant either.

718
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:35,120
Speaker 3: She's been in training so far, so we haven't really

719
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:38,640
Speaker 3: talked at all. I've gotten multiple accidental friend requests from

720
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 3: her on Facebook when she's creeping on my page, so

721
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 3: I know that she recognizes me. Accidental. Yeah, well, I

722
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 3: was about sayident accidental was in air quotes like what?

723
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:48,040
Speaker 2: I don't.

724
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 1: I mean one time is, but multiple multiple times? You

725
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 1: get a friend?

726
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 5: What?

727
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 3: When my manager walked her around the office introducing her

728
00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:58,040
Speaker 3: to people, I just kind of did the smile and

729
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 3: nod in her direction. She smiled mild and winked nice.

730
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:04,880
Speaker 3: I'm not sure what to do. I feel sick just

731
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:07,280
Speaker 3: being nearer. I see your face and I can't stop

732
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,680
Speaker 3: picturing it against my husband's. I've been mad at my

733
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:11,959
Speaker 3: husband on and off ever since she started at my office.

734
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 3: I'm reliving the whole thing, and I'm pissed that he

735
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,400
Speaker 3: did this to us, and that I'm in this situation

736
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:17,280
Speaker 3: now because of him.

737
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 5: Well, we'll get.

738
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 2: Into that later.

739
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:22,800
Speaker 3: He hugs or kisses me, and I pull away, and

740
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:24,840
Speaker 3: I feel crazy that the reason for this is something

741
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 3: that happened seven years ago. I did talk to him

742
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 3: about it, but I'm not sure what I expect from him.

743
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 3: He's extremely sympathetic and apologizes profusely that I have to

744
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 3: be near her. He keeps pointing out how much we've

745
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 3: grown and how amazing our life has been, and reminds

746
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:42,960
Speaker 3: me that he is a different person now. I walked

747
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 3: into our room a couple of nights ago and he

748
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 3: was sitting on the bed, crying because of what he'd

749
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,320
Speaker 3: done to us. I don't know what to do. I'm

750
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 3: on a roller coaster in crazy town right now. I

751
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 3: go from sick, feeling too angry, too sad, to guilty

752
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 3: for making him sad, to angry again, to crazy for

753
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:01,040
Speaker 3: being mad over something that I thought so far behind me.

754
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:03,840
Speaker 3: He's encouraged me to do what feels best, whether that be.

755
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:05,560
Speaker 2: To continue working there or to quit.

756
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,799
Speaker 3: He's been supportive of either decision and pointed out that

757
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 3: he could support us easily if I quit working altogether.

758
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:14,160
Speaker 3: I don't want to leave my job. I worked extremely

759
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:15,880
Speaker 3: hard to build my way up to my position.

760
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:16,640
Speaker 2: I earned it.

761
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,799
Speaker 3: I make good money and have amazing benefits, but I

762
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:22,719
Speaker 3: feel sick just thinking about being near her every day?

763
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:24,000
Speaker 2: Am I crazy?

764
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 5: Here?

765
00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 2: What would you guys do if you were in my shoes?

766
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:30,320
Speaker 3: Am I seriously losing it to be upset about something

767
00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:31,920
Speaker 3: that's seven years.

768
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 2: In the past. Input?

769
00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:35,799
Speaker 3: Please, and we have an update. But before we get

770
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 3: into that, input please.

771
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:41,319
Speaker 1: Okay, So there's a lot of layers here.

772
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:45,360
Speaker 2: Wait, yeah, take off that layer. You're avengers disguise.

773
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:50,440
Speaker 8: Ope, seven years and you were acting like everything was okay.

774
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:53,799
Speaker 8: I feel like you guys didn't do therapy, especially you.

775
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,200
Speaker 8: It seems like your husband is supportive and he is

776
00:34:56,239 --> 00:34:58,359
Speaker 8: a changed man, and good on you and your relationship.

777
00:34:58,560 --> 00:34:59,520
Speaker 1: You guys, work through that.

778
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 8: But now you need to work through this because you

779
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:05,040
Speaker 8: knew what this was gonna do, what was gonna happen

780
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:07,719
Speaker 8: if you chose staying with your husband, and this is

781
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:08,240
Speaker 8: the outcome.

782
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,840
Speaker 1: You know, this is the the ghost of his past.

783
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:14,400
Speaker 3: And yeah, it sucks to realize you guys didn't really

784
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:15,239
Speaker 3: work through that at all.

785
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 1: I guess well.

786
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 3: I mean it's gonna be a hard situation to be

787
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:23,239
Speaker 3: confronted with her existence regardless, But like the amount of

788
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:27,920
Speaker 3: vitriol and just like discussed that you have towards this

789
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,600
Speaker 3: woman is like you have not worked through it.

790
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:35,320
Speaker 8: Yeah, I think one you need therapy, but you definitely

791
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:37,600
Speaker 8: need to talk to superior or something like that where

792
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:41,959
Speaker 8: you are uncomfortable. This is technically your workplace. Yeah, she's

793
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 8: the new bee. Yes, and you don't want to get

794
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 8: people fired just off the bat. But but if she's

795
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 8: already making you uncomfortable, you need to talk to someone

796
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,319
Speaker 8: that's your superior or HR like I said, and it's

797
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:51,840
Speaker 8: not even.

798
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:54,000
Speaker 3: The getter fired, like it's just to be like, hey, yeah,

799
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 3: here's the situation. So if things start going off the rails,

800
00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:00,960
Speaker 3: you know why exactly, and then you and your husband

801
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:04,759
Speaker 3: should go to therapy and really dig into how to

802
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:08,360
Speaker 3: get through this in a real way. Yeah, but anyway,

803
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:11,000
Speaker 3: let's let's go ahead get into this update. Yes, one

804
00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:13,320
Speaker 3: thing I wanted to clear up is that my husband

805
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:15,560
Speaker 3: never slept with what's her face?

806
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:18,839
Speaker 1: Okay, so okay, okay, oh was he just I mean

807
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:21,719
Speaker 1: emotionally cheating. Let's let's let's let's dig in.

808
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:25,720
Speaker 3: I realize how that was implied when I said he cheated,

809
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:26,920
Speaker 3: but that didn't happen.

810
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 2: They hooked up without actual.

811
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 3: And yes, I know that beyond any possible doubt, so

812
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:38,400
Speaker 3: no reason to speculate there anyway, onto the update she

813
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,960
Speaker 3: got fired. Turns out miss crazy Pants used me as

814
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:43,400
Speaker 3: a reference to get the job.

815
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:47,080
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Wow, she did it to herself.

816
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:50,880
Speaker 2: When the trash takes itself out, it's wonderful.

817
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:54,400
Speaker 3: I decided not to say anything about her to my

818
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 3: boss because I figured, hey, what the f now like

819
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:01,280
Speaker 3: a user so skillfully point it out. She's in the past,

820
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:04,720
Speaker 3: she is nothing, she doesn't matter. So I had decided

821
00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 3: to leave it alone and let her fail on her own,

822
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:09,759
Speaker 3: and that didn't take long. My boss was in my

823
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:13,000
Speaker 3: office talking about crazy Pants's performance when she said, I'll

824
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:16,480
Speaker 3: be completely honest, Ope, she's not exactly how you described her.

825
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:19,480
Speaker 3: I had no clue what boss was talking about, so

826
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 3: I asked her to elaborate, and she said, well, when

827
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:23,640
Speaker 3: I asked you about her before we hired her, you

828
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:26,279
Speaker 3: described a much different performance level than what I've seen

829
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 3: so far. Does she usually take a while to adjust.

830
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 2: And get into the flow of things. By this time

831
00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 2: I was completely lost.

832
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,239
Speaker 3: I know for a fact, I've never mentioned crazy Pants

833
00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:38,120
Speaker 3: to my boss, and I've definitely never talked about her

834
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 3: work ethic or performance to anyone at all, unless it's

835
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:47,920
Speaker 3: talking about her grade a performance at being a spicy provider. No, actually,

836
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:51,319
Speaker 3: I wouldn't insult these spicy providers with is such a

837
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:55,560
Speaker 3: disgusting comparison. Anyway, my boss looked at my blank stare

838
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:58,799
Speaker 3: and said, are you forgetting this whole conversation? A few

839
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 3: weeks before we hired her, I asked for your reference.

840
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:04,799
Speaker 3: You said she was a team player and a great asset. Well,

841
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:07,920
Speaker 3: f me, I did refer someone when the position opened up,

842
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:10,120
Speaker 3: and when my boss asked for my reference, it was

843
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 3: super off the books, very laid back and informal. I

844
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:15,560
Speaker 3: think her exact words back then were, so, tell me

845
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:18,120
Speaker 3: about the woman you referred. I got a resume and

846
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:20,440
Speaker 3: she looks great on paper, but how she is a person?

847
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:24,520
Speaker 3: And I answered, in reference to the actual woman that

848
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:28,600
Speaker 3: I referred. It turns out crazy pants really is that crazy?

849
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:29,480
Speaker 2: She must have.

850
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 3: Gotten my employment info off my Facebook, like so many

851
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:35,120
Speaker 3: of you pointed out, I hadn't even thought of that before,

852
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:38,600
Speaker 3: and I have since changed my privacy settings, and she

853
00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:42,080
Speaker 3: decided to apply to f with me or something kind

854
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:43,600
Speaker 3: of shocked, she didn't go to HR.

855
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:46,719
Speaker 2: I mean it didn't. It didn't end up being necessary, but.

856
00:38:46,719 --> 00:38:49,360
Speaker 8: It wasn't necessary because it happened so quickly.

857
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:51,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, if you would have gone to HR, I'm

858
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:53,719
Speaker 3: sure it would have been like are you wait? But

859
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 3: you referred her, they'd be like the woman who's wait

860
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 3: wait wait wait, you refer to the woman who slept

861
00:38:58,320 --> 00:38:58,880
Speaker 3: with your husband?

862
00:38:59,080 --> 00:38:59,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, which she worked?

863
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 2: Was that a fair partner?

864
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 1: I love? How what's your face?

865
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:06,280
Speaker 8: That's what we're calling her now, Rita Ropulsa?

866
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:07,759
Speaker 2: How dumb can you be?

867
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:08,359
Speaker 1: Yeah?

868
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:10,400
Speaker 3: True, Like you didn't think it was gonna get tracked

869
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:13,120
Speaker 3: back to you just blinded by the crazy.

870
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:15,000
Speaker 1: Crazy at the workplace.

871
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,879
Speaker 8: Was like, didn't bring this up to Opie, not once

872
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:20,360
Speaker 8: until like further down the line, until she got fired.

873
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:23,799
Speaker 8: Like why was this brought up immediately when like, oh,

874
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:27,880
Speaker 8: so we're hiring somebody and you were, you were the referral. Okay,

875
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,120
Speaker 8: who was it? How did this happen? How did this

876
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 8: get through so many loopholes? And like, you know, it just.

877
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:37,640
Speaker 3: Seems like one tiny miscommunication because I don't know op

878
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:40,640
Speaker 3: had a op was just replying like it because she

879
00:39:40,719 --> 00:39:43,440
Speaker 3: did refer somebody, so she was just replying to her

880
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:45,959
Speaker 3: boss like, oh, yeah, the person I referred one hundred percent.

881
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:48,439
Speaker 2: She didn't even realize there could be another one.

882
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:54,000
Speaker 3: Uh yeah, crazy. I have no clue what her game was.

883
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:56,640
Speaker 3: She probably wanted me to get the reference request from

884
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:59,359
Speaker 3: my boss with her name actually said, just to mess

885
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,040
Speaker 3: with me or let me know that she's watching. I

886
00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:04,880
Speaker 3: don't know if she actually expected to be hired, but

887
00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 3: it doesn't matter now because she got super fired and

888
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:10,120
Speaker 3: probably needs a psychevow.

889
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:14,160
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't care. She isn't worth worrying about.

890
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:16,719
Speaker 3: She's blocked from all my social media accounts, and our

891
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 3: building security already has a record of fired employees to

892
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 3: keep an eye out for. If I hear from her

893
00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 3: or see her again, then I'll look into legal protection

894
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 3: from her crazy butt. Nice good, But for now I'm

895
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 3: letting the whole thing go by Felicia and there are

896
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:34,920
Speaker 3: some comments I'm number one, Wow, so she stole someone's

897
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:37,240
Speaker 3: identity to get a job. What happened to the person

898
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:40,920
Speaker 3: you actually did refer? So that's not what happened. Where's

899
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:44,000
Speaker 3: our reading comprehension? Commenter op says, no, not at all,

900
00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 3: the fact that I referred someone else and crazy Pants

901
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:50,480
Speaker 3: put my name as a reference are coincidences. It isn't

902
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 3: really her fault that my boss and I had a

903
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:54,840
Speaker 3: miscommunication regarding who we were actually talking about when we

904
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 3: were talking about my referral. My boss was talking about

905
00:40:57,560 --> 00:40:59,680
Speaker 3: crazy Pants because she'd put my name as a reference,

906
00:40:59,719 --> 00:41:02,760
Speaker 3: which I was not aware of, and I was talking

907
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:05,920
Speaker 3: about my friend who I had actually referred. My boss

908
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 3: and I each assumed that we were talking about the

909
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:10,839
Speaker 3: same person when Boss asked about my referral exactly, and

910
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 3: that's the end of that story, folks.

911
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:14,640
Speaker 1: Great, wow, Uh yeah.

912
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:16,360
Speaker 8: I don't wanted to be I wanted to act so

913
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:18,920
Speaker 8: nonchalant about this where you're like, I've blocked her in

914
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:19,680
Speaker 8: all social media.

915
00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:20,840
Speaker 1: I'm good again.

916
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 8: You did say like I will get into legal matters

917
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 8: if it does proceed. Great, But just just know, like

918
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:29,840
Speaker 8: this was seven years in the making and she still

919
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 8: is attached onto you and your husband. What's another seven years?

920
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:36,879
Speaker 8: I don't know. Uh, just keep an eye off for her,

921
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:41,359
Speaker 8: you know. But great, Like I said, therapy for you,

922
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:44,279
Speaker 8: therapy for you and your husband. So in case this

923
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:47,879
Speaker 8: does happen in the future, now you know, my stepdaughter

924
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:50,359
Speaker 8: has no problem crossing my boundaries.

925
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:52,879
Speaker 2: Uh, maybe make them a little firmer.

926
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:54,120
Speaker 1: Two hands, stiff arm.

927
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 8: So recently, my twenty nine year old stepdaughter moved back

928
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 8: in with my husband and me. Before she moved back

929
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 8: in with us, she stayed at our house while we

930
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:04,600
Speaker 8: were on a trip. While we returned from the trip,

931
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:07,239
Speaker 8: I found things in our n sweet bathroom in the

932
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:10,080
Speaker 8: wrong place. When I went to get clean towels, there

933
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 8: were towels in the wrong place. I knew that my

934
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:15,760
Speaker 8: stepdaughter had used our end sweet shower and our towels.

935
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 8: I just made a mental note of items out of place,

936
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:20,440
Speaker 8: but didn't say anything. A few months later, she confessed

937
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:22,400
Speaker 8: that she had used the shower. I said that I

938
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:24,600
Speaker 8: already knew this because I found things out of place.

939
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:27,120
Speaker 8: She insisted that she put everything back in place, and

940
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:28,319
Speaker 8: my husband kind of gave me.

941
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:28,959
Speaker 1: A dirty look.

942
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:32,799
Speaker 8: By the way, this comes from user citronade Rose and

943
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:34,360
Speaker 8: if you want submit your own stories, go to the

944
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:38,360
Speaker 8: r slash Okay, storytime separate it. So, yes, there is

945
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 8: a full hall bath that she normally uses. It is

946
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:43,959
Speaker 8: directly across the hall from her bedroom door. She moved

947
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:46,200
Speaker 8: back in with us sooner than expected, so we still

948
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:47,960
Speaker 8: had a few things in the room that is now

949
00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:50,560
Speaker 8: her bedroom. One day while she was at work, I

950
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:52,120
Speaker 8: did not have a lot to do, so I went

951
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 8: into the room and removed our remaining items. I truly

952
00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:56,759
Speaker 8: felt like I was doing a kind thing for her

953
00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:59,040
Speaker 8: because it would give her more space and allow her

954
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:01,919
Speaker 8: to organize her belongings better. She got upset and set

955
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:04,279
Speaker 8: a boundary that we should not go into her room

956
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:08,279
Speaker 8: without her prior permission. It's definitely fair for her to

957
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 8: set a boundary that we should not go into her

958
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:13,239
Speaker 8: room without asking, but I had a specific reason and

959
00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 8: wanted a surprise her. Nevertheless, I apologize and said I

960
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 8: would clear it next time. I was reflecting on these

961
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 8: incidents this morning and found it ironic that it was

962
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 8: okay for her to use our shower and our towels,

963
00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:26,800
Speaker 8: but not okay for me to go remove our things

964
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:31,400
Speaker 8: from her room. I feel like just communicate it like,

965
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:32,799
Speaker 8: we're adults here.

966
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:36,200
Speaker 2: Are we? How old is we to the ages? Do

967
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:39,839
Speaker 2: we have the age's no step daughter, twenty nine year

968
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:40,399
Speaker 2: old step daughter?

969
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:41,560
Speaker 1: We are adults here.

970
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:44,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, this does just need to be like, come on,

971
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:47,080
Speaker 3: let's not this we're power playing.

972
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:50,080
Speaker 2: We just need to be we just need to be equals.

973
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:52,360
Speaker 1: My husband and I are about to take a short trip.

974
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:55,440
Speaker 8: I would prefer that she'd not use our shower, So

975
00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:57,279
Speaker 8: I am considering locking the door.

976
00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:58,040
Speaker 1: To the primary suite.

977
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:00,200
Speaker 8: I do feel like my husband has a little bit

978
00:44:00,239 --> 00:44:02,759
Speaker 8: of a problem setting boundaries with the young adults, so

979
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:04,640
Speaker 8: I think he would be upset with me if I

980
00:44:04,680 --> 00:44:05,040
Speaker 8: did this.

981
00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:06,560
Speaker 1: I feel like what's fair is fair.

982
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:08,919
Speaker 8: It's fair to ask us not to enter her room,

983
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:10,759
Speaker 8: and I think it's fair that she should not use

984
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:13,520
Speaker 8: our shower. So would I be the a hole if

985
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:15,560
Speaker 8: I lock the door and don't mention it to either

986
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:16,640
Speaker 8: of them?

987
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:17,560
Speaker 5: Yet?

988
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:19,279
Speaker 1: What that that was?

989
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:20,720
Speaker 2: What are you talking about?

990
00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:21,839
Speaker 5: Why would you do this?

991
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 2: Where did that come from?

992
00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:28,120
Speaker 3: I'm so I'm genuinely confused about where did that come from?

993
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:30,040
Speaker 8: She doesn't want so they're going on a short trip,

994
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:33,200
Speaker 8: their husband, OPI and her husband right, and they're leaving

995
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,399
Speaker 8: the house with the step daughter, uh huh, and they

996
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:37,600
Speaker 8: just don't want her to use the bath. They're on

997
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,759
Speaker 8: suite shower again, and she just wants to lock the door.

998
00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:46,640
Speaker 3: I mean, stop it, stop it. Just speak to each other.

999
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:49,680
Speaker 3: What are you talking about? You say, can you not

1000
00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:52,759
Speaker 3: use my shower. I'm gone, thanks, don't lock the door

1001
00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:55,200
Speaker 3: like she's a criminal. It's like, and then if you

1002
00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:57,759
Speaker 3: notice she used her shower, you have another conversation to say, Hey,

1003
00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:00,960
Speaker 3: I find it very disrespectful that you used my shower

1004
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 3: when I specifically asked you not to.

1005
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 2: So I'm going to start locking that door from now on.

1006
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:05,080
Speaker 1: Thank you.

1007
00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:07,800
Speaker 8: Yeah, I that's I took the words right out of

1008
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:10,120
Speaker 8: my mouth, Like, if this is another thing of trust,

1009
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 8: why would you lock the door? Now? See if she

1010
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:15,120
Speaker 8: does it again. If she does it again, then you

1011
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:17,000
Speaker 8: have the conversation. If she doesn't do it, then there's

1012
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:20,080
Speaker 8: no need. She understand She understands the boundary that you're setting,

1013
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:23,440
Speaker 8: and that means you can respect your her boundaries while

1014
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,160
Speaker 8: she respect Yours problem will solved. Yeah, and we have

1015
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:28,799
Speaker 8: some relevant comments and let's just dive right into it.

1016
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:31,400
Speaker 8: Comment or number one. Is there a reason you can't

1017
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:33,440
Speaker 8: have a conversation with her and let her know you

1018
00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 8: understand her requests and expect the same respect, Like, Yeah,

1019
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,720
Speaker 8: locking the door without having a conversation, like the adults

1020
00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:43,239
Speaker 8: you are, would make you the a hole. Opie says,

1021
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:46,200
Speaker 8: thanks for your feedback. I'm very conflict avoidant, but do

1022
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 8: need to try. A downloaded comment says everyone sucks here.

1023
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:53,680
Speaker 8: Ask yourself is it really worth a move of pettiness

1024
00:45:53,719 --> 00:45:56,839
Speaker 8: and dealing with the fallout with the husband afterwards? One

1025
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:59,120
Speaker 8: question I would like to ask is why the stepdaughter

1026
00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:02,680
Speaker 8: used your shaf That part seems to be omitted. Opie says,

1027
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:05,480
Speaker 8: no reason except she wanted to. She has another bathroom

1028
00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:07,560
Speaker 8: across the hall. Why did she try to put everything

1029
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:09,399
Speaker 8: back in the same place as if she hadn't used

1030
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:12,479
Speaker 8: the bathroom? Como two, Yes, put a lock on your door.

1031
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:14,560
Speaker 8: The only way she'll ever find out is if she

1032
00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 8: tries to open it, which in her own words, would

1033
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:20,640
Speaker 8: be crossing a boundary. If you don't give her permission,

1034
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:23,080
Speaker 8: she has no right to be in your in your room,

1035
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:23,839
Speaker 8: not the a hole.

1036
00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:27,520
Speaker 2: Come why where we're like fourteen year olds in why?

1037
00:46:27,719 --> 00:46:27,919
Speaker 1: Why?

1038
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:28,359
Speaker 2: Are why?

1039
00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:31,319
Speaker 8: I understand the privacy some Hey, like I said, some

1040
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:32,560
Speaker 8: people just don't want them in our room.

1041
00:46:32,719 --> 00:46:36,040
Speaker 9: It's just it's just what I get that. But it's

1042
00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:41,239
Speaker 9: where's the conversation? Kis me comments are three. I don't

1043
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:43,279
Speaker 9: understand why an almost thirty year old would want to

1044
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:45,839
Speaker 9: go and use her parents' bathroom when she has her own.

1045
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:49,360
Speaker 9: I'm sure it's probably a nicer bathroom, but who cares

1046
00:46:49,719 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 9: lock your private part of your house and tell her

1047
00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:54,239
Speaker 9: not to use your bathroom, even if she didn't move

1048
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:57,359
Speaker 9: things around. I wouldn't want anyone using my bathroom. And

1049
00:46:57,400 --> 00:47:02,239
Speaker 9: there is an update. It's titled law bedroom. So you

1050
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:04,279
Speaker 9: locked the bedroom and this is eight days later.

1051
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:06,239
Speaker 8: I did read the comments, and some of you asked

1052
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:09,719
Speaker 8: a few questions, so here are those answers. No, this

1053
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:12,799
Speaker 8: is not my stepdaughter's childhood home. Her father and I

1054
00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:15,640
Speaker 8: bought it when she was eighteen. Her father and I

1055
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:18,160
Speaker 8: met two years after his first marriage ended in divorce.

1056
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:20,720
Speaker 8: He and I have been together more than twenty years.

1057
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:23,080
Speaker 8: On with the update, I did talk with my husband

1058
00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:25,600
Speaker 8: before he went away. He agreed that it was completely

1059
00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:28,760
Speaker 8: reasonable to expect our bedroom and bathroom to be private,

1060
00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:30,480
Speaker 8: and that the boundaries should.

1061
00:47:30,239 --> 00:47:31,440
Speaker 1: Be equal on all sides.

1062
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:33,719
Speaker 8: I asked him to discuss it with my stepdaughter, and

1063
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:36,120
Speaker 8: he did let her know that she shouldn't go into

1064
00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:39,640
Speaker 8: our bed and bath without permission. Nevertheless, I did listen

1065
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:41,640
Speaker 8: to everyone here who said to lock the door. When

1066
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:44,120
Speaker 8: we left for the trip, my step son was ending

1067
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:46,879
Speaker 8: a vacation with his stepfather's family and starting a week

1068
00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:49,200
Speaker 8: with us. But his arrival date was on Saturday evening

1069
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:51,600
Speaker 8: before we returned. I always take the time to set

1070
00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:54,800
Speaker 8: up everything for my guests. That includes leaving clean towels

1071
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 8: specifically for them. I placed a couple body and hand

1072
00:47:57,520 --> 00:47:59,680
Speaker 8: towels on the guest bed. The bedding is dark blue

1073
00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:01,120
Speaker 8: and the time I was were white so they would

1074
00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:03,919
Speaker 8: be obvious. Also, my step son takes a shower every

1075
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:06,799
Speaker 8: single day, usually in the late afternoon. It's important to

1076
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:09,280
Speaker 8: remember this and that he arrived Saturday.

1077
00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:12,279
Speaker 3: This is not important at all, actually, because we're just

1078
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:14,400
Speaker 3: talking about your step children taking a shower.

1079
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:15,520
Speaker 1: We'll see.

1080
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:20,080
Speaker 3: I'm just where's like the end, like something was stolen

1081
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:22,440
Speaker 3: or like there was a huge mess, or like something

1082
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:26,640
Speaker 3: was ruined. Like I understand that it's your bedroom and

1083
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:29,760
Speaker 3: it's your private space, but the way you are going

1084
00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:33,319
Speaker 3: about this like you are a teenager is making me

1085
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:36,319
Speaker 3: have a little little sympathy for you.

1086
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:38,560
Speaker 1: It's about personal space, that's what it is.

1087
00:48:38,719 --> 00:48:40,440
Speaker 2: I feel like this is just a disguise for I

1088
00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:41,520
Speaker 2: don't like my stepdaughter.

1089
00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:43,319
Speaker 1: I don't like her. I don't think so.

1090
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:45,960
Speaker 3: Because if I didn't, if I just like my stepdaughter

1091
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:49,359
Speaker 3: and she wanted to use my bathroom might be like, okay, yeah,

1092
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:51,640
Speaker 3: you put everything back exactly where it was last time,

1093
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:52,200
Speaker 3: so it's not like.

1094
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:52,840
Speaker 2: It's an issue.

1095
00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:55,680
Speaker 3: You can use the shower, not while I'm using it.

1096
00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:58,320
Speaker 3: Like what are we talking about personally?

1097
00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:01,479
Speaker 1: Again? Like I said, I sea boats, but like.

1098
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:03,000
Speaker 2: I really I do too.

1099
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:05,560
Speaker 3: But it's I really think that the way they're communicating

1100
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:07,759
Speaker 3: is what's making me like so like I don't care.

1101
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:11,640
Speaker 3: It's like if you just can't have a conversation about it,

1102
00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:13,680
Speaker 3: then I don't have any sympathy for you. And you're

1103
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:16,600
Speaker 3: acting like the child in this situation because you won't

1104
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:21,080
Speaker 3: talk even if you're like principle is correct, it doesn't

1105
00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:24,239
Speaker 3: matter who knows. We're just creeping closer and closer to

1106
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:24,960
Speaker 3: the funny number.

1107
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:29,520
Speaker 1: I mean, I like order sixty six, execute order sixty six.

1108
00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:33,320
Speaker 8: Yeah, there's a little bit left. On Monday morning, my

1109
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:35,839
Speaker 8: husband asked if I had locked our bedroom door. I

1110
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:38,080
Speaker 8: said that I did lock it, and he yes. Why

1111
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:40,840
Speaker 8: He said that my stepdaughter had been looking for towels

1112
00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:41,319
Speaker 8: to give to.

1113
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:41,879
Speaker 1: Our step son.

1114
00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:44,400
Speaker 8: So I simply replied that I had left towels on

1115
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:47,720
Speaker 8: the guest bed for him. My husband softly said, Oh,

1116
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:50,239
Speaker 8: I'm like my husband handled the issue of her trying

1117
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:53,120
Speaker 8: to enter our room without permission, and that stepdaughter made

1118
00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:55,920
Speaker 8: of an excuse that justify that. I will always lock

1119
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:58,680
Speaker 8: their bedroom door when we're away as long as stepdaughter

1120
00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:01,960
Speaker 8: is living with us and we have irrelevant comments Commenter one,

1121
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 8: not the a hole. She wants you to respect her

1122
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:07,640
Speaker 8: space in your house but doesn't want to respect yours.

1123
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:10,040
Speaker 8: That's a problem for your husband to handle or a

1124
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:12,640
Speaker 8: family meeting. Opie says, I'm happy to let them be

1125
00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:13,439
Speaker 8: the bad guy.

1126
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:15,640
Speaker 2: No, who's the bad guy?

1127
00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:19,440
Speaker 1: The dad like handling it like talking about a shower.

1128
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:21,279
Speaker 1: It's what are we ware?

1129
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:21,680
Speaker 7: Like?

1130
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:24,280
Speaker 3: This is God, There's so much more to this dynamic

1131
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 3: like this, Something else is underneath this that we're not getting.

1132
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:31,319
Speaker 3: I'm standing on that.

1133
00:50:31,640 --> 00:50:35,239
Speaker 8: And then OPI on keeping extra towels in accessible linen closets,

1134
00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:37,919
Speaker 8: Opie says, I will look in the linen closet any

1135
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:40,759
Speaker 8: cabinets in the hall bathroom, and not in other bedrooms.

1136
00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 8: We have a linen closet and a second hall closet.

1137
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:45,480
Speaker 8: I keep extra towels in the linen closet. Comment or

1138
00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 8: two says, I don't know what the stepdaughter's situation is

1139
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:50,000
Speaker 8: as to why she had to move in with you,

1140
00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:52,160
Speaker 8: but it sounds like it'd be better if she moved

1141
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:55,320
Speaker 8: back out since she has no respect for boundaries. Plus

1142
00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:58,360
Speaker 8: she's a full grown adult. Opie says. She has a

1143
00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:01,040
Speaker 8: high school diploma. The story goes deep and doesn't earn

1144
00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:03,200
Speaker 8: a lot of money. She's had trouble keeping jobs and

1145
00:51:03,239 --> 00:51:06,760
Speaker 8: also has problems keeping friends. Bio mom refuses to cooperate

1146
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:10,239
Speaker 8: with diagnosis and treatment during childhood. So here we are.

1147
00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 8: Ubrey to three says, Honey, she is almost thirty. Her

1148
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:16,759
Speaker 8: choices are her choices. I was a slow to launch

1149
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:19,400
Speaker 8: adult and it wasn't until I was forced to stand

1150
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:20,879
Speaker 8: for myself that I actually did.

1151
00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:24,319
Speaker 1: It's sink or swim time. Opie states, that's fair.

1152
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:27,000
Speaker 8: She finally says she's going to get diagnosed, but we'll

1153
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:30,680
Speaker 8: see and yeah, it's just more of the towel talk

1154
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:35,040
Speaker 8: with the commentsars she So it did seem like again,

1155
00:51:35,120 --> 00:51:37,720
Speaker 8: stepdaughter try to go in the bedroom for no reason.

1156
00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:39,920
Speaker 8: I feel like you just have a full on confrontation

1157
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:42,000
Speaker 8: like why are you using our bathroom?

1158
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:45,239
Speaker 3: Well, I just wonder, like, clearly there's a lot of

1159
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:47,600
Speaker 3: a lot of there's twenty years where the history here

1160
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:50,600
Speaker 3: that we're not getting. And I wonder if there's a

1161
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:53,520
Speaker 3: reason why stepdaughter was like you can you not go

1162
00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:56,799
Speaker 3: into my room because of maybe something that's happened before,

1163
00:51:56,840 --> 00:51:59,319
Speaker 3: because I don't I really really hated the way that

1164
00:51:59,360 --> 00:51:59,879
Speaker 3: she just went.

1165
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:01,920
Speaker 2: She has a high school diploma.

1166
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:04,279
Speaker 3: More to this story, it's like, are you did you

1167
00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:06,480
Speaker 3: really just dunk on her for graduating high school.

1168
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:08,799
Speaker 8: They're like, there seems like we're missing a little bit

1169
00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:13,240
Speaker 8: of context between the relationship of stepdaughter and OPI in general.

1170
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:16,000
Speaker 8: But that's not the case and point here. The case

1171
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:17,719
Speaker 8: in point is the story that we read. I just

1172
00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:20,520
Speaker 8: stepdaughters don't think they like each other. The stepdaughter is

1173
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:21,840
Speaker 8: trying to go in their bathroom, and I would have

1174
00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:23,360
Speaker 8: been like, why are you trying to use my bathroom?

1175
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:27,360
Speaker 1: You have your own. That's like again, you got caught.

1176
00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:29,600
Speaker 3: I think you know, there could be something about like

1177
00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:31,480
Speaker 3: I don't want her in the bedroom because she's gonna

1178
00:52:31,480 --> 00:52:33,040
Speaker 3: steal something, or I don't want it. It's just not

1179
00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:36,839
Speaker 3: being said. There is something underneath this no nonsense.

1180
00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:39,239
Speaker 1: No, I don't know. I think you're digging a little

1181
00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:40,600
Speaker 1: bit deeper than it should.

1182
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:44,640
Speaker 3: Maybe maybe op's like, this is my shower, but then

1183
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:48,120
Speaker 3: stepdaughter's like, this is my dad's shower. Why would I

1184
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:50,279
Speaker 3: need to ask to use my dad's shower. It's like

1185
00:52:50,360 --> 00:52:53,799
Speaker 3: it's my father. Like there is there is a level

1186
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:55,960
Speaker 3: of unreasonableness from both sides.

1187
00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:57,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree on that.

1188
00:52:57,280 --> 00:52:59,759
Speaker 3: Not just be like okay, cool, oh you just like

1189
00:52:59,840 --> 00:53:01,600
Speaker 3: you our shower way better because we have a better

1190
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:02,600
Speaker 3: shower or whatever it is.

1191
00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:04,720
Speaker 2: Ah, this is all just so dumb.

1192
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:05,719
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1193
00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:07,880
Speaker 2: Hey, it's John here og, host of the show. We're

1194
00:53:07,920 --> 00:53:09,520
Speaker 2: gonna get back to these juicy stories. But here's a

1195
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:12,720
Speaker 2: quick three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My husband

1196
00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:16,600
Speaker 2: keeps doing high risk sports. Fearlessly join him.

1197
00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:18,799
Speaker 3: This is coming to a head because at the moment,

1198
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:21,279
Speaker 3: we are on a ski vacation with my family. For

1199
00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:23,480
Speaker 3: the most part, we're having a great time and have

1200
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:27,279
Speaker 3: my parents, brother and kids, two female, one male, and

1201
00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:28,239
Speaker 3: my aunt and.

1202
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:30,080
Speaker 2: Cousins and their respective kids.

1203
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:31,279
Speaker 5: And it's a great time.

1204
00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:35,560
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from user sale from NorCal

1205
00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:37,920
Speaker 3: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

1206
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:39,839
Speaker 3: to the r slash Showcase story Time subret.

1207
00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:43,480
Speaker 2: It my twenty eight male husband thirty one male lives

1208
00:53:43,560 --> 00:53:44,360
Speaker 2: for this stuff.

1209
00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:47,360
Speaker 3: But while we are being more social, he's in the

1210
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:49,879
Speaker 3: lift line at nine and he comes off them out

1211
00:53:49,920 --> 00:53:52,839
Speaker 3: and at four thirty light clockwork. He doesn't take hot

1212
00:53:52,920 --> 00:53:55,319
Speaker 3: chocolate breaks with us, and he doesn't eat lunch with us.

1213
00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:57,880
Speaker 3: He'll eat at the family dinner, but instead of staying

1214
00:53:57,960 --> 00:54:00,479
Speaker 3: up telling stories and drinking wine, he goes to bed

1215
00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:03,799
Speaker 3: and listens to music until he falls asleep. So strike one,

1216
00:54:04,120 --> 00:54:06,000
Speaker 3: I'm annoyed with him being so antisocial.

1217
00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:10,040
Speaker 1: Hmm okay, But the annoyance.

1218
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:12,399
Speaker 3: Is compounded by the fact that he's doing behaviors that

1219
00:54:12,440 --> 00:54:15,439
Speaker 3: we have fought over many times, him not realizing he's

1220
00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:18,520
Speaker 3: not nineteen anymore and now has kids and responsibilities. I

1221
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:20,279
Speaker 3: found out last night that he made friends with a

1222
00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:22,319
Speaker 3: group of local kids who have been showing him the

1223
00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:24,959
Speaker 3: back hills where there are rocks and cliffs to jump

1224
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:27,480
Speaker 3: off of. But this is off the ski area, so

1225
00:54:27,520 --> 00:54:29,280
Speaker 3: he has to ski down to the road and actually

1226
00:54:29,280 --> 00:54:30,960
Speaker 3: a hitchhike back to the ski resort.

1227
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:32,400
Speaker 2: It's called backcountry skiing.

1228
00:54:33,040 --> 00:54:36,600
Speaker 3: I actually don't I'm kind of anti backcountry.

1229
00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:38,240
Speaker 2: I mean just because it's.

1230
00:54:38,120 --> 00:54:40,880
Speaker 8: Like, hey, mabe, he's just living he just with the

1231
00:54:40,880 --> 00:54:42,879
Speaker 8: cool kids. He wants to hang out with the cool kids.

1232
00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:45,319
Speaker 8: He wants to he's showing the keys. He still got it.

1233
00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:49,160
Speaker 3: I'm livid, literally seeing Red, wanting to do terrible things

1234
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:49,520
Speaker 3: to him.

1235
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:51,280
Speaker 2: Angry, angry, angry, angry.

1236
00:54:51,680 --> 00:54:54,040
Speaker 3: This is bad enough, but we have this same fight

1237
00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:56,560
Speaker 3: every time we go anywhere, whether it's surfing or mountain

1238
00:54:56,560 --> 00:54:59,920
Speaker 3: biking or rock climbing, you name it, he's always pushing it.

1239
00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:02,880
Speaker 3: We have this same fight almost every weeknight because he

1240
00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:05,080
Speaker 3: goes to Brazilian jiu jitsu and comes back with his

1241
00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:06,280
Speaker 3: knees tweaked.

1242
00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:08,399
Speaker 2: Or his face off scratched up. I'm sick of this.

1243
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:11,160
Speaker 3: In fairness to my husband, he's a great dad, and

1244
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:14,960
Speaker 3: we had two kids much closer in age than we'd planned,

1245
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:17,800
Speaker 3: and he's very supportive and good at giving me breaks.

1246
00:55:18,120 --> 00:55:21,320
Speaker 3: But that makes his irresponsible behavior even more stark, because

1247
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:24,759
Speaker 3: I can't raise two small kids on my own if

1248
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:28,520
Speaker 3: he breaks himself flying down a mountain with no ski

1249
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:32,200
Speaker 3: patrol or surfing waves too big, et cetera. And to

1250
00:55:32,239 --> 00:55:34,680
Speaker 3: add insult to injury, he says he can't wait to

1251
00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:37,200
Speaker 3: take our kids along on all his adventures as soon as.

1252
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:37,880
Speaker 2: They're old enough.

1253
00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:41,040
Speaker 3: Like I said, I can't raise two small kids by myself.

1254
00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:43,520
Speaker 3: How do I get him to stop the nonsense and

1255
00:55:43,560 --> 00:55:47,640
Speaker 3: take his responsibilities seriously? There's an edit This blew up.

1256
00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:50,920
Speaker 3: Sorry I wasn't around to participate an ironic twist. I

1257
00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:53,600
Speaker 3: skied all day with my cousin and had so much fun.

1258
00:55:53,760 --> 00:55:57,359
Speaker 3: My husband actually beat me in To address the most

1259
00:55:57,400 --> 00:56:00,719
Speaker 3: common concerns. We have a huge life insurance policy through

1260
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:03,480
Speaker 3: my husband's work. As far as I know, it covers everything,

1261
00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:05,360
Speaker 3: but I need to look into it. It's part of

1262
00:56:05,360 --> 00:56:08,319
Speaker 3: his job, so we actually pay very small premiums on it.

1263
00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:10,880
Speaker 3: I used to be a stay at home mom. I

1264
00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:14,560
Speaker 3: do miss my career sometimes. Maybe the genders were wrong

1265
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:18,440
Speaker 3: at the beginning of the story. Could we stay at

1266
00:56:18,440 --> 00:56:20,680
Speaker 3: home man? I guess I don't know. I do miss

1267
00:56:20,680 --> 00:56:23,319
Speaker 3: my career sometimes, as evidence by my comment, But I

1268
00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:26,879
Speaker 3: love spending time with both kids. My husband works very

1269
00:56:26,880 --> 00:56:29,239
Speaker 3: hard to give me this. Our first was planned and

1270
00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:32,720
Speaker 3: we'd hoped for several years between kids. The things happen,

1271
00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:34,640
Speaker 3: and it's a little more stressful than i'd.

1272
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:36,760
Speaker 2: Hoped, but we love both kids.

1273
00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:40,200
Speaker 3: My dad adores my husband, and he's an introvert like Gregory,

1274
00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:43,160
Speaker 3: so he's to bed while the rest of us are

1275
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:46,280
Speaker 3: talking late into the night. My dad loves hearing about

1276
00:56:46,360 --> 00:56:49,560
Speaker 3: Greg's adventures, so he's happy paying, which sucks for me

1277
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:52,120
Speaker 3: because my own dad is not an advocate for my desires.

1278
00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:55,000
Speaker 3: Thank you for all the advice. I have some reading

1279
00:56:55,040 --> 00:56:57,520
Speaker 3: to do. Hopefully I can update when we get home

1280
00:56:57,719 --> 00:56:58,560
Speaker 3: and there's an update.

1281
00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:01,880
Speaker 8: Some people are calling it, yeah, Opie's risk averse. OPI

1282
00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:04,400
Speaker 8: does not, like, you know, play it safe, and I

1283
00:57:04,480 --> 00:57:06,839
Speaker 8: get I'll get that. But you guys have to find

1284
00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:09,640
Speaker 8: a common middle ground. And your husband does need to

1285
00:57:09,640 --> 00:57:11,520
Speaker 8: take a step back as well, but you need to

1286
00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:14,439
Speaker 8: take a step forward, meet somewhere in the middle where

1287
00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:17,960
Speaker 8: you both are comfortable with what he loves doing and

1288
00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:22,920
Speaker 8: you know, making sure that it's fun but also safer

1289
00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:26,880
Speaker 8: is a word safer, but that's also life. You can't

1290
00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:29,440
Speaker 8: control everything. It's like you can't just say, hey, stop

1291
00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:31,840
Speaker 8: doing what you love doing, stay inside so you can

1292
00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:32,880
Speaker 8: be safe to be a father.

1293
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:35,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I love you and I'm your husband. It's

1294
00:57:35,120 --> 00:57:40,160
Speaker 3: like that is toxic. Let's get into the update. I

1295
00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:43,880
Speaker 3: spent Monday night carefully reading every single response because there

1296
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:46,840
Speaker 3: was a ton of value in all of them, one

1297
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:49,040
Speaker 3: post stood out, and I apologized to whoever made it that

1298
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:51,640
Speaker 3: I can't mention them by name, but essentially they said

1299
00:57:51,720 --> 00:57:55,000
Speaker 3: it appeared that I was conflating two issues, my husband

1300
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:59,040
Speaker 3: taking risks and him not being social on vacation. I guess,

1301
00:57:59,040 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 3: in the interest of brevity, I had left out some

1302
00:58:01,280 --> 00:58:05,000
Speaker 3: details I found out about Gregory's backcountry skiing because he

1303
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:08,040
Speaker 3: is essentially my dad's hero, and my dad sat there

1304
00:58:08,080 --> 00:58:11,440
Speaker 3: like a starstruck schoolgirl while Gregory regaled him with tales

1305
00:58:11,480 --> 00:58:14,760
Speaker 3: of backcountry skiing with local teenagers and jumping off twenty

1306
00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:17,760
Speaker 3: foot cliffs into powder. I was deeply annoyed with Gregory

1307
00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:20,080
Speaker 3: because it was the first time he was social with anyone,

1308
00:58:20,120 --> 00:58:21,960
Speaker 3: and we were on day three of the vacation and

1309
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:24,080
Speaker 3: he had literally gone to bed at eight every night

1310
00:58:24,160 --> 00:58:26,600
Speaker 3: to get up and ski. I was jealous of how

1311
00:58:26,680 --> 00:58:29,320
Speaker 3: much fun my brother's wife and my two cousins spouses

1312
00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:32,160
Speaker 3: were having being so engaged with the family, so I

1313
00:58:32,200 --> 00:58:35,360
Speaker 3: conflated my annoyance with both him and my dad frankly

1314
00:58:35,600 --> 00:58:37,760
Speaker 3: for being antisocial and taking risks.

1315
00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:39,880
Speaker 2: I'm gonna pause really quickly, because.

1316
00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:41,919
Speaker 3: It kind of sounds like you are being antisocial if

1317
00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:45,360
Speaker 3: you're not having any fun with anyone unless it's your husband.

1318
00:58:45,560 --> 00:58:47,960
Speaker 8: Perfect example, dude, was when we went to Big Bear.

1319
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:50,080
Speaker 8: You guys went skiing and then we had our own thing.

1320
00:58:50,720 --> 00:58:52,720
Speaker 3: We had a great day and no one's like, Ooh,

1321
00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:55,240
Speaker 3: I'm being excluded. It's like, no, I'm doing my thing.

1322
00:58:55,800 --> 00:58:58,280
Speaker 8: He just loves skiing and he's doing it with your

1323
00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:01,400
Speaker 8: dad's I think that's fine as long as he like

1324
00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:05,960
Speaker 8: doesn't completely avoid everyone every single day and like, you know,

1325
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:07,480
Speaker 8: you guess he get to see you at dinner time.

1326
00:59:07,960 --> 00:59:10,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's fine. Maybe one day of the

1327
00:59:10,160 --> 00:59:11,880
Speaker 1: week is like or they're your trip, like you all

1328
00:59:11,920 --> 00:59:12,680
Speaker 1: hang out as a family.

1329
00:59:12,760 --> 00:59:16,960
Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, yeah.

1330
00:59:17,040 --> 00:59:19,680
Speaker 3: The posts the other day really helped me realize that

1331
00:59:19,720 --> 00:59:21,640
Speaker 3: I made it a point to be nicer to him.

1332
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:25,080
Speaker 3: It also helped that Monday night, my cousin's husband got

1333
00:59:25,160 --> 00:59:28,240
Speaker 3: ripped roorin wasted in our condo and started pursing up

1334
00:59:28,280 --> 00:59:31,720
Speaker 3: a blue streak. This with kids aged one to ten

1335
00:59:31,880 --> 00:59:34,840
Speaker 3: all staying in the same relatively small space, he and

1336
00:59:34,840 --> 00:59:37,760
Speaker 3: my cousin had an extremely embarrassing and public fight that

1337
00:59:37,800 --> 00:59:41,400
Speaker 3: started inside and ended outside with an earshot of the

1338
00:59:41,720 --> 00:59:42,920
Speaker 3: entire base area.

1339
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:43,520
Speaker 2: Village.

1340
00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:45,720
Speaker 3: It made me realize that no matter how annoyed I

1341
00:59:45,720 --> 00:59:47,840
Speaker 3: can get with Gregory and his desire to not be

1342
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:50,680
Speaker 3: social on most occasions, he will never ever put me

1343
00:59:50,720 --> 00:59:54,640
Speaker 3: through that, which helped me gain some perspective. Then, yesterday afternoon,

1344
00:59:54,680 --> 00:59:57,080
Speaker 3: as my cousin and her husband were getting ready to leave,

1345
00:59:57,560 --> 01:00:00,080
Speaker 3: he was acting like a jack butt while driving. He

1346
01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:04,400
Speaker 3: was probably wickedly hungover in the parking lot and ended

1347
01:00:04,480 --> 01:00:07,840
Speaker 3: up sliding right into a snowbank, giving their new Lexus

1348
01:00:07,840 --> 01:00:11,320
Speaker 3: some significant body damage. He got out cursing and spewing

1349
01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:14,400
Speaker 3: in the parking lot, all while basically standing like a

1350
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:17,040
Speaker 3: helpless baby, screaming at my cousin that she needed to

1351
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:17,560
Speaker 3: call someone.

1352
01:00:17,640 --> 01:00:18,240
Speaker 2: God dang it.

1353
01:00:18,400 --> 01:00:21,520
Speaker 3: Gregory and my dad very calmly dug his car out

1354
01:00:21,560 --> 01:00:24,000
Speaker 3: of the snow, dug up some gravel for traction, and

1355
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:26,680
Speaker 3: then backed his car out. It took maybe ten minutes.

1356
01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:29,440
Speaker 3: It made me realize that quite possibly all of Gregory's

1357
01:00:29,440 --> 01:00:33,080
Speaker 3: experience in remote places while biking, skiing, bow hunting, et cetera,

1358
01:00:33,320 --> 01:00:35,320
Speaker 3: have taught him to be relaxed and knowledgeable in a

1359
01:00:35,360 --> 01:00:37,880
Speaker 3: high pressure situation, and he just did what had to

1360
01:00:37,920 --> 01:00:40,880
Speaker 3: be done. I felt very lucky and felt very sorry

1361
01:00:40,920 --> 01:00:44,480
Speaker 3: for my cousin. I was watching this very hungover, overweight

1362
01:00:44,560 --> 01:00:47,320
Speaker 3: man cry in the middle of a parking lot because.

1363
01:00:47,440 --> 01:00:50,080
Speaker 5: That's a sixty five hundred dollars grill on that car.

1364
01:00:50,200 --> 01:00:52,640
Speaker 3: While am I very attractive and did in shape husband

1365
01:00:52,680 --> 01:00:55,640
Speaker 3: who doesn't drink nothing even needs to be.

1366
01:00:55,560 --> 01:00:58,320
Speaker 1: Said by that calls it as I sees it.

1367
01:00:58,800 --> 01:01:02,560
Speaker 3: My husband, who doesn't drink, was calmly digging the entire

1368
01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:03,240
Speaker 3: car out.

1369
01:01:03,640 --> 01:01:05,800
Speaker 2: Yesterday morning. I asked him if he would be willing

1370
01:01:05,800 --> 01:01:06,480
Speaker 2: to ski with me.

1371
01:01:06,480 --> 01:01:09,120
Speaker 3: That day, and he said absolutely, and that he was

1372
01:01:09,160 --> 01:01:11,280
Speaker 3: hoping we would get at least one day together.

1373
01:01:11,760 --> 01:01:14,920
Speaker 2: So another strike on me for not communicating with.

1374
01:01:14,920 --> 01:01:17,320
Speaker 3: Him and assuming that he would see me as something

1375
01:01:17,360 --> 01:01:20,040
Speaker 3: of a burden to his ski day, so I didn't

1376
01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:22,360
Speaker 3: even want to ask if he'd ski with me. We

1377
01:01:22,480 --> 01:01:25,240
Speaker 3: actually had a great time together, and he's so experienced.

1378
01:01:25,520 --> 01:01:27,720
Speaker 3: He actually taught me more than I probably ever would

1379
01:01:27,760 --> 01:01:31,360
Speaker 3: have gotten from a paid lesson. Yeah, dude, your husband

1380
01:01:31,480 --> 01:01:35,120
Speaker 3: sending twenty foot cliffs into powder, he's kind of a bat.

1381
01:01:36,160 --> 01:01:39,920
Speaker 3: Lean into that, dude, lean into that, like, what are

1382
01:01:39,920 --> 01:01:43,560
Speaker 3: we talking about? While we were on the chairlift that day,

1383
01:01:43,800 --> 01:01:47,080
Speaker 3: I very calmly brought up my concerns about the backcountry

1384
01:01:47,080 --> 01:01:51,240
Speaker 3: skiing leaving me to watch the kids on other vacations.

1385
01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:53,720
Speaker 3: As I've said, my mom and aunt are on kid

1386
01:01:53,840 --> 01:01:56,480
Speaker 3: duty this trip, though, me and my brother's wife are

1387
01:01:56,480 --> 01:01:58,840
Speaker 3: watching the kids today while my mom and aunt ski,

1388
01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:03,000
Speaker 3: so I've warned him about leaving me with the kids

1389
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:05,600
Speaker 3: while he goes and does activities. He assured me that

1390
01:02:05,640 --> 01:02:08,800
Speaker 3: the backcountry skiing at this area was very safe, but

1391
01:02:08,840 --> 01:02:10,720
Speaker 3: that in the future he would get all the equipment

1392
01:02:10,800 --> 01:02:14,720
Speaker 3: necessary like a float coat and more end people, which

1393
01:02:14,760 --> 01:02:17,919
Speaker 3: he had people there in order to reduce the risk.

1394
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:19,680
Speaker 3: And he said he was sorry for leaving me to

1395
01:02:19,720 --> 01:02:21,800
Speaker 3: go surfing on our last trip, and that he would

1396
01:02:21,840 --> 01:02:25,000
Speaker 3: try very hard to communicate beforehand what his desires for

1397
01:02:25,040 --> 01:02:27,920
Speaker 3: any particular trip will be in advance and have it

1398
01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:32,400
Speaker 3: be a dialectic conversation with give and take versus him

1399
01:02:32,440 --> 01:02:35,520
Speaker 3: just assuming he can bolt off whenever his waves are big.

1400
01:02:35,960 --> 01:02:38,040
Speaker 3: I also said I was sorry for being so cold

1401
01:02:38,040 --> 01:02:40,000
Speaker 3: to him since the trip started, but that I would

1402
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:42,320
Speaker 3: appreciate him trying to hang out for a little longer

1403
01:02:42,360 --> 01:02:45,280
Speaker 3: each night. He said that it's a thinly veiled secret

1404
01:02:45,280 --> 01:02:48,600
Speaker 3: that he can't stand my cousin's husband because he is

1405
01:02:48,720 --> 01:02:51,440
Speaker 3: constantly trying to one up and talk down to Gregory

1406
01:02:51,720 --> 01:02:53,360
Speaker 3: for a myriad of reasons.

1407
01:02:53,280 --> 01:02:54,280
Speaker 1: Thank you, mister president.

1408
01:02:55,520 --> 01:02:58,320
Speaker 3: They also work in a similar field, so I guess

1409
01:02:58,360 --> 01:03:01,880
Speaker 3: there's something of a rivalry there, and now that he's gone,

1410
01:03:02,400 --> 01:03:05,240
Speaker 3: he will be more comfortable. We do have a little

1411
01:03:05,240 --> 01:03:08,840
Speaker 3: bit more story left, like what are our closing thoughts here?

1412
01:03:08,920 --> 01:03:12,240
Speaker 8: Like one great we should have communicated from the very

1413
01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:14,800
Speaker 8: get go how you felt and how your husband made

1414
01:03:14,840 --> 01:03:16,920
Speaker 8: you feel. But again it's on the going to the

1415
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:20,280
Speaker 8: very beginning of you guys have had this I guess argument.

1416
01:03:20,680 --> 01:03:20,960
Speaker 3: I don't.

1417
01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:22,320
Speaker 8: I'm not saying you guys are out of the woods,

1418
01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:26,400
Speaker 8: but you guys have had these conversations multiple times. Now

1419
01:03:26,440 --> 01:03:29,120
Speaker 8: we have a reasoning, I guess for at least when

1420
01:03:29,160 --> 01:03:31,000
Speaker 8: you guys have going family vacations. But if you guys

1421
01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:33,920
Speaker 8: go on a vacation yourselves with your family, it should

1422
01:03:33,920 --> 01:03:36,000
Speaker 8: be the same thing, like, hey, don't just dip in

1423
01:03:36,120 --> 01:03:39,000
Speaker 8: bolt first thing and he probably won't. Maybe he will,

1424
01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:41,880
Speaker 8: I don't know, but just let him know. Hey, I'm

1425
01:03:41,880 --> 01:03:44,440
Speaker 8: not comfortable with you doing this all the time. You

1426
01:03:44,480 --> 01:03:47,400
Speaker 8: are a father figure, You are a father Yeah, you

1427
01:03:47,400 --> 01:03:50,000
Speaker 8: have some responsibilities you could have to stobbed your fun,

1428
01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:51,000
Speaker 8: but just take a step back.

1429
01:03:51,200 --> 01:03:52,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's about it.

1430
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:57,480
Speaker 3: Let's finish this story. Communication wins again, people, it wins

1431
01:03:57,520 --> 01:04:01,720
Speaker 3: every time. So last night Diggory cooked steaks for everyone

1432
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:05,120
Speaker 3: and stayed up a little later eight thirty is later, right,

1433
01:04:05,680 --> 01:04:08,720
Speaker 3: and chatted and seem to have a good time. So today,

1434
01:04:08,800 --> 01:04:10,720
Speaker 3: since this was a planned day off for me to

1435
01:04:10,720 --> 01:04:13,000
Speaker 3: watch the kids, we agreed that he could meet his

1436
01:04:13,120 --> 01:04:15,160
Speaker 3: new friends really early so that they could do some

1437
01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:18,600
Speaker 3: in area hiking before the lift started, and that he

1438
01:04:18,640 --> 01:04:20,360
Speaker 3: could stay out as late as he wanted if the

1439
01:04:20,400 --> 01:04:21,040
Speaker 3: snow was good.

1440
01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:23,000
Speaker 2: So basically, all is good.

1441
01:04:23,160 --> 01:04:25,560
Speaker 3: I love my husband more than words can possibly say,

1442
01:04:25,600 --> 01:04:27,960
Speaker 3: and I'm glad we had this time together because I

1443
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:30,920
Speaker 3: think while we had relatively minor problems in the general

1444
01:04:30,960 --> 01:04:33,920
Speaker 3: scheme of things, were coming out healthier and happier for it.

1445
01:04:34,280 --> 01:04:36,680
Speaker 3: If I hadn't made my post Monday morning, I very

1446
01:04:36,720 --> 01:04:37,920
Speaker 3: well might have made the.

1447
01:04:37,880 --> 01:04:40,600
Speaker 2: Rest of the vacation miserable for both of us. Thank

1448
01:04:40,640 --> 01:04:42,600
Speaker 2: you very much for all the help. And that is

1449
01:04:42,640 --> 01:04:45,919
Speaker 2: the end of that story. I loved ope, I love it.

1450
01:04:46,400 --> 01:04:47,360
Speaker 2: I love it so much.

1451
01:04:47,440 --> 01:04:49,480
Speaker 8: Now you have to really show up your husband and

1452
01:04:49,520 --> 01:04:51,200
Speaker 8: do like something even more extreme than.

1453
01:04:51,080 --> 01:04:51,560
Speaker 1: What he does.

1454
01:04:51,840 --> 01:04:54,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta find like you have to find your

1455
01:04:54,320 --> 01:04:55,640
Speaker 3: extreme sports.

1456
01:04:55,400 --> 01:05:00,400
Speaker 8: PODO, like bungee jumping or like skydiving without a so

1457
01:05:00,800 --> 01:05:03,160
Speaker 8: tornado chasing.

1458
01:05:03,280 --> 01:05:04,479
Speaker 2: Become a tornado hunter.

1459
01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:06,640
Speaker 1: Well that's great.

1460
01:05:06,800 --> 01:05:07,560
Speaker 2: I like where we're at.

1461
01:05:07,560 --> 01:05:10,120
Speaker 3: Though, it seemed like OP gained a new level of

1462
01:05:10,760 --> 01:05:14,760
Speaker 3: understanding of both themselves and their husband.