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Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the

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Speaker 1: voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you

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Speaker 1: advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe

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Speaker 1: you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with

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Speaker 1: your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how

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Speaker 1: to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.

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Speaker 1: Whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember

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Speaker 1: these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering

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Speaker 1: from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from

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Speaker 1: a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave

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Speaker 1: your question at the sound of the beeB.

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Speaker 2: So, my husband and I have been separated for almost

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Speaker 2: a year now and I asked for a divorce. He

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Speaker 2: makes me feel guilty a lot of the times that

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Speaker 2: I see to him because I was the one that

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Speaker 2: initiated or asked for the divorce. And I feel like

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Speaker 2: he has so much control over my emotions because I

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Speaker 2: could be doing great, and as soon as I talk

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Speaker 2: to him, my emotions are just a rollercoaster. I keep

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Speaker 2: telling myself that it's going to get better, that I

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Speaker 2: shouldn't allow him to have this much control over my emotions.

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Speaker 2: But no matter what I tell myself or what I do,

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Speaker 2: he just takes me on this roller coaster trip and

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Speaker 2: my emotions and I don't know what to do. How

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Speaker 2: do you not let somebody have so much control over

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Speaker 2: your emotions?

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Speaker 1: Mary Mama, Okay, he sounds a little emotionally manipulative in

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Speaker 1: my opinion, and from here from the outside end, of course,

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Speaker 1: I don't know the details.

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Speaker 3: I don't know why you ask for divorce.

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Speaker 1: There's obviously reasons behind that, because divorcing someone is a

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Speaker 1: big decision. So from where I'm standing, I feel like

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Speaker 1: you made the right decision. It feels like he is

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Speaker 1: the type of person that takes you out of your

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Speaker 1: essence and brings out maybe the worst in you. And

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Speaker 1: my suggestion, I don't know if you guys have kids

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Speaker 1: or what is still keeping you guys in communication. I

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Speaker 1: think you do need a little bit of a detox.

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Speaker 1: I think if he still has some type of effect

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Speaker 1: on you, it's because you obviously care about him. Maybe

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Speaker 1: you're not in love with him, but you care about him,

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Speaker 1: and in some way you still care about his opinion.

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Speaker 1: Because when you don't literally anything anyone says does not

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Speaker 1: face you. So I think if you made the decision,

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Speaker 1: and if there's a way of you guys not having

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Speaker 1: to speak for a little bit, or just speaking through

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Speaker 1: email because he makes you feel bad, I think that

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Speaker 1: that is okay. It's just going to take time. That's

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Speaker 1: basically what it is. The answer here is it's going

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Speaker 1: to take time for you to heal. It's still very early.

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Speaker 1: It was a marriage, it's a divorce. A separation is

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Speaker 1: always hard. I'm sure he's hurt, and when hurt people

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Speaker 1: are hurt, they want to hurt others.

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Speaker 3: Hurt people hurt people.

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Speaker 1: So with that being said, I suggest, and my opinion

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Speaker 1: and my advice is for you to just take some

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Speaker 1: time and some space to heal so that no matter

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Speaker 1: what he says, you just don't even fight back. Is

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Speaker 1: you it's so beneath you. That's going to take time, though,

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Speaker 1: So I think you have to also be compassionate with

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Speaker 1: yourself and be compassionate with him.

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Speaker 3: Right now. He's hurt. He probably didn't want to lose you.

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Speaker 1: He lost the best thing in his life, so he's

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Speaker 1: going to react to a certain type of way. So just

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Speaker 1: be compassionate, pray for him, but do give yourself some

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Speaker 1: time that is my suggestion. Believe me, I know exactly

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Speaker 1: exactly what.

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Speaker 3: You're going through. So that's what I did. So that's

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Speaker 3: my little advice for you.

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Speaker 1: Okay, thank you for your question, and I hope it

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Speaker 1: really does help. Okay, I hope things get better. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So our next question comes from Tony.

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Speaker 4: You guys, Hello, Chikis I live in and I'm in California.

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Speaker 4: I actually wanted to talk a little bit more about

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Speaker 4: like your entrepreneurship. So essentially, I moved out here about

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Speaker 4: five years ago, started my own business essentially during COVID

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Speaker 4: doing nails, and it's been difficult for me essentially establishing clientele.

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Speaker 4: But thank god, you know, I've been establishing myself a

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Speaker 4: bit by bit. So my question to you is essentially,

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Speaker 4: what are some tips in regards to establishing a small business,

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Speaker 4: you know, networking or putting yourself out there. Like another

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Speaker 4: thing that I really want to do is work with celebrities,

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Speaker 4: So things like that, like what would you recommend or

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Speaker 4: be your tips and guides to doing something of that nature.

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Speaker 1: Well, hello Tony from Anaheim. Congratulations on starting your own business,

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Speaker 1: being your own boss. I love that for you. Any

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Speaker 1: business is always it's a slow process, so be patient.

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Speaker 3: That's my first thing.

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Speaker 1: Be patient with yourself, Be patient with the process, enjoy

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Speaker 1: the process. I'm glad that you're reaching out and asking,

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Speaker 1: and I think, first off, yes, you got to put

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Speaker 1: your work out there. Sometimes you're going to have to

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Speaker 1: do people's nails for free, especially like influencers or artists.

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Speaker 3: Of course I should tip you for sure.

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Speaker 1: Okay, influencers, people that listen to my podcast are artists.

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Speaker 1: If you, guys, if we get things for free, please tip.

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Speaker 1: I'm huge on tipping. Anyways, that's a whole other episode.

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Speaker 1: But anyways, now, with the power of social media, it

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Speaker 1: really does help all of us push our businesses, our products.

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Speaker 3: So put yourself out there.

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Speaker 1: Send dms. Don't get tired of sending people dms. Say hey,

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Speaker 1: I would love to do your nails the first ones

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Speaker 1: on me. Always say the first ones on me, so

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Speaker 1: that they don't expect every single time you're going to

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Speaker 1: do their nils or for free, because that's not fair either.

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Speaker 1: Keep reaching out sometimes you'll be left on red. Don't

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Speaker 1: get tired. Persistence is what's going to get you there.

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Speaker 1: Be persistent, be like, hey, I'm so sorry to bother you.

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Speaker 1: I saw that you read my message. I would love

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Speaker 1: to do your nails, like here's my work. Tag your work.

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Speaker 1: If you still haven't done, ask people, your cousins or

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Speaker 1: I know that you said you don't have a lot

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Speaker 1: of fam out here, but maybe friends, Hey can I

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Speaker 1: do your nails for my look book?

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Speaker 3: You know what I mean? That is going to get

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Speaker 3: too far.

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Speaker 1: I think the fact that like you're doing nails is

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Speaker 1: great because we all need like nel technicians. And I

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Speaker 1: don't know, you can probably even talk to masterwhenye okay,

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Speaker 1: she does my nails and she lives I think out

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Speaker 1: in like Orange or like Riverside. She's always out there

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Speaker 1: and she'll take you under her wing. Okay, send her

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Speaker 1: a message. You can send me a DM. Maybe you

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Speaker 1: can do my nils.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It's just little by little being persistent and again using

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Speaker 1: the power of social media and making tiktoks and tagging

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Speaker 1: the hashtags nails and you know, Neil design and all

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Speaker 1: that stuff is going to help get your work out there,

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Speaker 1: because that's what you gotta do. But it's gonna take

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Speaker 1: a little time. It usually takes around two years to

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Speaker 1: get like the ball rolling. So just remember that Okay,

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Speaker 1: don't give up.

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Speaker 3: Don't give up. De pire okay, mesitoe okay. So our

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Speaker 3: next question is from Francis.

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Speaker 1: When you were in a narcissistic relationship, how did you

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Speaker 1: feel and what made you finally leave the relationship and

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Speaker 1: know that he was narcissistic. Well, Francis, that's a great question.

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Speaker 1: I did not know that he was narcissist until afterwards.

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Speaker 1: I started just reading different books and how to heal,

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Speaker 1: and I thought I had been in a very I

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Speaker 1: had been in a narcissistic relationship before that narcissistic relationship,

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Speaker 1: but the other one was.

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Speaker 3: An extreme narcissist.

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Speaker 1: So it was just in your face, like I'm not

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Speaker 1: trying to hide it, this is who I am, being

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Speaker 1: very arrogant. And I appreciated that afterwards, because I'm like, damn,

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Speaker 1: at least he's all about this is who I am,

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Speaker 1: and it's out loud and blah blah blah, flamboyant narcissistic.

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Speaker 1: You know. The other one was very secretive about it,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't know. There was a lot of gaslighting

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Speaker 1: and stuff like that, and I was like, why do

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Speaker 1: I feel like this? Like why do I feel so

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Speaker 1: much anxiety?

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Speaker 3: In my chest.

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Speaker 1: I feel like uneasy, I feel like I'm always walking

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Speaker 1: on eggshells. That is not healthy with anyone, especially in

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Speaker 1: a relationship. I didn't know all of this until after,

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Speaker 1: until I felt a piece come over my life, and

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Speaker 1: now that I'm with someone else, just it's day and night,

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Speaker 1: you guys. So when I was in it, I just knew.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, I.

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Speaker 1: Don't have peace, I don't feel comfortable, I feel sad.

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Speaker 1: I'm always sadder than I am happier, Like we have

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Speaker 1: fun moments, but I had a really, really like a

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Speaker 1: lot more sad and upset days, So moments comparing to

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Speaker 1: days is just it was robbing me of my happiness.

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Speaker 3: And that's how I knew.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I just cannot do this, Like this

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Speaker 1: person makes me question myself, like if something this is

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Speaker 1: a huge red flag.

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Speaker 3: You guys.

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Speaker 1: This is how you know if you're in a narcissic relationship.

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Speaker 1: You going you tell your partner, hey, I feel this way.

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Speaker 1: You hurt my feelings about this, and then they turn

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Speaker 1: around and be like, well, that's you being sensitive, that's

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Speaker 1: on you, or it's not my fault that you're insecure,

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Speaker 1: Like they put it back on you. That is huge

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Speaker 1: where it's like and then you're like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: am I am? I?

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Speaker 3: Am? I? Like insecure? Am I this?

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Speaker 1: And my that? It's like instead of saying, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it that way,

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Speaker 1: I apologize. Your partner should always want to make you

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Speaker 1: feel better. Even if they don't understand, They're going to

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Speaker 1: try to understand and apologize and make you feel good

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Speaker 1: and reassure you. Okay, So our last question comes from

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Speaker 1: Leslie Hi Jiky.

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Speaker 5: My question is about confidence. It's bad enough. I've never

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Speaker 5: had confidence. I'm a big chick. I'm a size twenty

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Speaker 5: two to twenty four. I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

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Speaker 5: I had a unilateral misectomy. Confidence totally went down. I'm flat.

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Speaker 5: Reconstruction has failed, and I feel less than a woman.

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Speaker 5: How can I get confidence back? I feel like the

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Speaker 5: clothes my blouses don't fit right because I have to

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Speaker 5: wear a special brawl. I just don't feel like myself.

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Speaker 5: I don't feel whole as a woman, and like all

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Speaker 5: my confidence it's just like gone. Any advice would be great.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, Leslie, I completely one validate your feelings

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Speaker 1: because being a woman and someone's Moivanilos sides. We want

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Speaker 1: to look good from the outside. Like, I totally totally

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Speaker 1: get it, and I am so sorry that you went

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Speaker 1: through all of that. I can just imagine. But you

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Speaker 1: are here for a reason. You are still here. You

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Speaker 1: fought cancer, and that's huge. You are meant to be here.

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Speaker 1: I think it's gonna take a little bit of time

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Speaker 1: and a lot of time with you really checking in

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Speaker 1: and honing into your faith, because that will really just

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Speaker 1: enlighten your life in a different way where it's just

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Speaker 1: like I'm here for something different. Yes, right now you

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Speaker 1: are flat. I get that, But there are surgeons out

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Speaker 1: there that can definitely help you. I know you said

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Speaker 1: the reconstructive surgery didn't go very well, but that doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean that there aren't other doctors out there or surgeons

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Speaker 1: that can really help you. I mean, I've seen some

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Speaker 1: stuff on Instagram. I can't really pinpoint a doctor's name

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Speaker 1: right now, but I know I've seen one so research

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Speaker 1: that so that they can possibly help you. But I

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Speaker 1: think more than anything is it's like really looking inward

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Speaker 1: instead of focusing on the exterior, which I understand again

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Speaker 1: as a woman, I get it, babe, believe me. I

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Speaker 1: can't sit here and lie to you and be like no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I totally understand. But what has always help me is

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Speaker 1: really looking inward and looking in my heart and reading

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Speaker 1: books and really just making myself wiser in any possible

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Speaker 1: way that I can mentally, but also taking care of

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Speaker 1: my heart and my spirituality and knowing that I'm here

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Speaker 1: for a bigger reason. Maybe right now you don't know

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Speaker 1: because you've been so focused on your exterior. It's gonna

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Speaker 1: help you feel so much better if you start just

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Speaker 1: going inward and working on that and taking care of

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Speaker 1: your heart and your mind and your spirituality. And there's

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Speaker 1: nothing wrong with being a size twenty two and twenty four.

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Speaker 1: Should you work out for health purposes for your heart.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely so, that is my suggestion, Leslie. I am sending

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Speaker 1: you a big, big hug. And it's gonna take time.

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Speaker 1: It's not gonna be tomorrow. It's gonna be work, and

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Speaker 1: it's gonna take work. And that's where you have to

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Speaker 1: just really be intentional about doing that on a daily basis.

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Speaker 1: And you can have bad moments, but just say, okay,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I'm here. God has me here for

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Speaker 1: a bigger purpose. Let me figure that out. I'm sending

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Speaker 1: you lots of positive vibes and I hope that you

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Speaker 1: feel better very very soon. But look in word, look

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Speaker 1: in word.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 1: Much love to you, Thank you to Marry, Tony Francis

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Speaker 1: and Leslie for your questions. Feel free to leave me

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Speaker 1: your questions at speakpipe dot com, Slash Cheeky's and Chill podcast.

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Speaker 1: Nothing is off limits here, okay. I hope you guys

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Speaker 1: have a really great day and I'll see you next week.

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Speaker 3: Rosquierro Unchingo. This is a.

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Speaker 1: Production of iHeartRadio and the Micauldura podcast Network. Follow us

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Speaker 1: on Instagram at Michaeldura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's

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Speaker 1: c h i q U i s. For more podcasts

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Speaker 1: from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

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Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite podcast, and check us out

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Speaker 1: on YouTube.