1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,880 Speaker 1: The Fread Show is on. It's stay or go. Daniel 2 00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:04,600 Speaker 1: is here. 3 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:11,440 Speaker 2: Good morning, Daniel, Welcome to the program Guarding Daniel. All right, 4 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:15,680 Speaker 2: let's hear about it. What's going on in your relationship? 5 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,799 Speaker 2: Little group therapy going on right now, the Fread Show. 6 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 2: We're here for you. Well, unlikely. 7 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 3: I'm just I just I'm not quite sure what to 8 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:25,799 Speaker 3: do because I'm kind of at the end of my rope. 9 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:26,280 Speaker 4: With this thing. 10 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:29,720 Speaker 2: Okay, all right, wait, wait, fill us in, please give 11 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:30,520 Speaker 2: us the backstory. 12 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:35,640 Speaker 5: Okay, Well, a few years ago, my wife was diagnosed 13 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 5: with a pretty serious heart issue and she underwent a 14 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:44,600 Speaker 5: huge surgery and you know, by the grace of God, 15 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:47,600 Speaker 5: you know, everything was okay. You know, the surgery went 16 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 5: well and things were looking up right, Okay, right, yeah, yeah. 17 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:57,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, So it's just dumb ter send the story. Is 18 00:00:57,360 --> 00:00:57,960 Speaker 1: that what happened? 19 00:00:58,800 --> 00:00:59,000 Speaker 6: Well? 20 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:05,200 Speaker 3: No, no, so well, the doctors recommended that she makes 21 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:09,520 Speaker 3: some some lifestyle changes, you know, changing you know, what 22 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:13,800 Speaker 3: she eats, exercising, moving around more, and this is kind 23 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:19,080 Speaker 3: of where the issue is. So and despite doctor's orders, 24 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:22,119 Speaker 3: she has not been active and has not been eating 25 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:24,839 Speaker 3: well at all. And it's been kind of a point 26 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:30,520 Speaker 3: of contention between us, and about a week or so ago, 27 00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:35,080 Speaker 3: the last straw was we got into a little bit 28 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:37,679 Speaker 3: of an argument about it, and she promised that she 29 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 3: would do better. And then the very next day after 30 00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:44,600 Speaker 3: our argument, I found a fast food wrapper in her car. 31 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 3: So I'm really just trying to tread lightly with the 32 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,840 Speaker 3: whole situation because I don't want to come off as 33 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:55,080 Speaker 3: you know, controlling and you know, or shaming her or 34 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:58,560 Speaker 3: anything like that. But I it really, it really hurts 35 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:00,480 Speaker 3: me to see her body, to see her treating her 36 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:04,360 Speaker 3: body like this, and especially when you know, when we 37 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,920 Speaker 3: went through the surgery and she was given, you know, 38 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:10,320 Speaker 3: a whole new lease on life, and I just, you know, 39 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 3: and I want her to be around, you know, for 40 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:18,400 Speaker 3: for our kids and potentially future grandkids. And I just 41 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 3: like I don't know what to do because, like I said, 42 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,800 Speaker 3: I don't want to be controlling, but at the same time, 43 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:26,160 Speaker 3: what do I do in this situation. 44 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:28,560 Speaker 1: Well, she kind of imagines as you do. 45 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:30,320 Speaker 2: She owes it to you, and she owes it to 46 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:33,079 Speaker 2: your family, especially if you cared for her when she 47 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,120 Speaker 2: wasn't well and helped her heal. I mean, I think 48 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 2: she owes that effort to you guys, right, I mean 49 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 2: it's part of being a family, it's part of having kids, 50 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:43,880 Speaker 2: it's part of being a spouse. Right, is that you 51 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 2: you try, But it sounds like the problem here is 52 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 2: deeper than just that. Like it sounds like maybe it's 53 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 2: some form of addiction, or it's psychological or something that 54 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,400 Speaker 2: is beyond you know, something that maybe you can handle 55 00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 2: it yourself. I mean, if you considered seeing maybe she 56 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,400 Speaker 2: would see a counselor or you guys go together and 57 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:06,120 Speaker 2: talk about it, because you know, maybe this is beyond 58 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 2: just a normal conversation. 59 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:12,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, I would be totally open for that. I just 60 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:14,280 Speaker 3: think getting her to do it would be would be 61 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 3: really difficult, like that first, Like there, it would almost 62 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:18,360 Speaker 3: need like an intervention or something like that. 63 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, put her on that show. No, don't do that. 64 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:23,840 Speaker 2: Well maybe I don't know, yes, Rufio. 65 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,200 Speaker 7: I mean I feel this guy on this one because. 66 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:29,079 Speaker 8: I have had health issues this past couple of years 67 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:33,000 Speaker 8: and it honestly, you know, and Jess was really concerned 68 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:37,400 Speaker 8: for me, and I feel like you need to threaten 69 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 8: her a little bit, and like threaten her like that 70 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:40,960 Speaker 8: you're done, like you're gonna leave, Like it's gonna be 71 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,480 Speaker 8: over if you don't change your lifestyle because it's serious 72 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 8: and that and that's what happened to me. Like, you know, 73 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:50,440 Speaker 8: my mom died at sixty seven years old, and like 74 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:53,280 Speaker 8: the heart problems running my family, so I had She's like, 75 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,440 Speaker 8: you need to take this seriously because you need to 76 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:57,760 Speaker 8: be around for like we have kids, we want you know, 77 00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 8: more grandkids and stuff like that. So you have to 78 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:03,240 Speaker 8: you have to kind of like threaten them in a 79 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 8: positive way. 80 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 9: You know. 81 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 7: It's like and if she won't. 82 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,800 Speaker 8: Do that after you say, hey, if you don't do this, 83 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:10,280 Speaker 8: I'm done, then then it's time to go. 84 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 7: Like she you have to you have to force the issue. 85 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:16,080 Speaker 8: And and and get her to change her ways because 86 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:17,320 Speaker 8: you want to round for the long haul. 87 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,240 Speaker 9: Yeah. 88 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,480 Speaker 5: I just I know though if I if I. 89 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,000 Speaker 3: Leave her alone up to her own devices though, but 90 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 3: that's that's just not going to be a good situation 91 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:26,760 Speaker 3: for her. 92 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I think you have You've sounds like 93 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,800 Speaker 2: maybe you've tried being supportive. You tried to, you know, 94 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:35,160 Speaker 2: help her get through this process of this really serious surgery, 95 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,520 Speaker 2: and you could have lost her and your kids could 96 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:40,440 Speaker 2: have lost her. And I think now it's time that 97 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:44,640 Speaker 2: she puts in some effort. But again, it's not as 98 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:47,159 Speaker 2: simple as I don't think just going to some people 99 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,480 Speaker 2: and being like, hey, I need you to stop eating 100 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 2: like this, I need you to be more healthy, I 101 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 2: need you to do and to exercise and whatever. I 102 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 2: don't think it's necessarily that simple. Well, it might be 103 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 2: really frustrating the same way, and again I'm not a professional, 104 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,600 Speaker 2: but the same way that you might look at someone 105 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,239 Speaker 2: who's addicted to alcohol or something else and say, just stop, 106 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,760 Speaker 2: just stop with it. It really isn't that easy, which 107 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:09,479 Speaker 2: is why you may need a little bit more help 108 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 2: then you can provide. And yeah, I mean, I think 109 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,120 Speaker 2: maybe some tough love is in order, but I don't know. 110 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 2: Surely some people out there have encountered this. So I'm 111 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:19,200 Speaker 2: going to take some phone calls eight five five three five. 112 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:21,360 Speaker 2: We're gonna talk about you behind your back, but look, 113 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:22,880 Speaker 2: well actually it's not really behind your back, as you 114 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,840 Speaker 2: can still listen. But nonetheless, we wish you the very 115 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,040 Speaker 2: best and thank you for sharing this. I hope it 116 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:28,480 Speaker 2: works out. 117 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 3: Good luck man, Yeah, thank you, I appreciate it, all. 118 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:32,159 Speaker 1: Right, Thank you. 119 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:36,480 Speaker 2: Marissa hold On of SEG Marissa, Yes, what do you 120 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:37,480 Speaker 2: want to say, go ahead? 121 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 9: Well, I'm in her corner for the reason. I think 122 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 9: he should leave, because what a jerk this woman overcame 123 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,719 Speaker 9: debt honey? Who cares that she wants a big. 124 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,080 Speaker 6: Mak Let her live? 125 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 4: Life is short. 126 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,640 Speaker 9: I understand if he wants her to be healthy for 127 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:53,920 Speaker 9: their family, but she deserves so much better than that, 128 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:56,279 Speaker 9: a man that will support or overcome those challengs, not 129 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 9: complain about it anymore. 130 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:00,880 Speaker 8: I mean, Marissa a whole on a second, she got 131 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,240 Speaker 8: a second chance at life and she's ruining. 132 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:06,520 Speaker 2: That right, Like, don't you think so? He he should 133 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:09,120 Speaker 2: just let her Like, she has a family, she has 134 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:11,240 Speaker 2: a husband, she has kids, she has obligations, and so 135 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:14,840 Speaker 2: he should just let her go, just lutter, not encourage 136 00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:17,480 Speaker 2: her to be more healthy, not push her, not challenge her. 137 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:20,320 Speaker 2: He should just essentially let her kill herself, because then 138 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:22,520 Speaker 2: what does that say about him? 139 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:25,320 Speaker 9: Well, he should support her, I think, but maybe in 140 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:27,640 Speaker 9: different ways. I mean, I understand if someone to call 141 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,680 Speaker 9: the radio, but go to a couple of counseling together, 142 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,280 Speaker 9: maybe meal prep together, but you call him to complain 143 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,880 Speaker 9: about her. I mean, she deserves better than that. 144 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:36,680 Speaker 10: Show her better? 145 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:38,840 Speaker 2: Is he complaining or is he at wits end? I mean, 146 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:41,080 Speaker 2: I'm challenging you here a little bit, Marissa, because I 147 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,159 Speaker 2: feel like he doesn't know what to do, which a 148 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:48,080 Speaker 2: lot of people wouldn't know what to do because they don't. Clearly, 149 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:50,680 Speaker 2: he doesn't want to hurt her, and he doesn't want 150 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,320 Speaker 2: to make her alienate her and make her feel like 151 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,960 Speaker 2: she's not valued the way she is. But she has 152 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:59,800 Speaker 2: to make changes because it's really not about in some ways, 153 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:03,000 Speaker 2: if you have kids, forget about your spouse, it's not 154 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:06,480 Speaker 2: about you anymore, right, right? 155 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 9: And that's it's true. I have a family member who's 156 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:09,800 Speaker 9: actually in a very similar boat. 157 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:11,360 Speaker 11: But we kind of had almost the. 158 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:13,880 Speaker 9: Intervention where we got together and gave him the support 159 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,280 Speaker 9: he needed. And I think that's what needs to happen 160 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:18,480 Speaker 9: move forward. And if he doesn't want to more support 161 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:20,360 Speaker 9: than that, than think your decisions have to be made. 162 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,520 Speaker 2: Marissa, with all due respect, how is that any different 163 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,360 Speaker 2: than what we just said, Like, he's not a Jersey. 164 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:27,920 Speaker 7: Yeah alone, let him live his life. 165 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:31,520 Speaker 12: You just said that, yeah, okay, and then everyone has. 166 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,480 Speaker 2: That she is entitled to her opinion. I just think, 167 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,240 Speaker 2: you know, I think we're all saying the same thing here. 168 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 2: But Marissa, thank you, have a good day you too. Yeah, 169 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,520 Speaker 2: I don't know. She came in hot with the whole 170 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,720 Speaker 2: He's a jerk thing. Honestly, I think he's a jerk 171 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,760 Speaker 2: if he does nothing. I think he's a jerk if 172 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:48,240 Speaker 2: he if he doesn't express any concern whatsoever. Right, And 173 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:50,440 Speaker 2: I think he's a jerk if he doesn't offer solutions 174 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:50,720 Speaker 2: for her. 175 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:51,080 Speaker 1: Yeah. 176 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 13: Yeah, I don't think calling a radio station is anyone's 177 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 13: like first thing that they do. 178 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:56,480 Speaker 7: Like it sounds like he's tried everything. 179 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 13: I mean, we want you to call please, but that 180 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:03,160 Speaker 13: should be your first option. He's exhausted everything, and he's 181 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,880 Speaker 13: kind of needing that, you know, that advice. 182 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 2: Well, And I mean there's a large cross section of 183 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,760 Speaker 2: folks that listen of the thirteen. You know, people from 184 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:13,800 Speaker 2: our our audience of thirteen are massive audience of thirteen. 185 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 1: You know they have someone's been. 186 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 7: Through this before, you know, is fair name you call. 187 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:21,680 Speaker 2: Up here and have a concern, Maybe someone listening goes, no, 188 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 2: wait a minute, I went through this, and I have 189 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 2: an idea. Hey Jennifer, good morning, Yes, Hi, Hi, what 190 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:28,119 Speaker 2: do you want to say? 191 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:28,480 Speaker 7: Hi? 192 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:29,480 Speaker 2: Oh? 193 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:30,560 Speaker 11: I just wanted to say that. 194 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:33,760 Speaker 12: I think that maybe the conversation that they should have 195 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,640 Speaker 12: should be that he's going to ask, how can I 196 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:38,320 Speaker 12: support you? 197 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:39,559 Speaker 3: Like, what can we do? 198 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 11: Do we meal prep? Do we do something to try 199 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:48,120 Speaker 11: and make this work better for the both of us? So, 200 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:48,959 Speaker 11: I think a lot of. 201 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:54,000 Speaker 12: Times women as mothers feel overwhelmed and so it's easy 202 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:56,959 Speaker 12: to make a choice to get a quick meal. And 203 00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:01,160 Speaker 12: if she's feeling attacked because of that, it's it's a 204 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:07,720 Speaker 12: harder conversation versus if if she's feeling supported, what are 205 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:10,680 Speaker 12: we going to do to try and make better decisions? Yeah, 206 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:16,360 Speaker 12: so's like, how can we meal prep? How can we 207 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:20,800 Speaker 12: work together to make this a better situation for everybody? 208 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,120 Speaker 1: Yeah? Man, Jennifer, thank you, have a good day. 209 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 14: You're welcome. 210 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 2: And Scott has a good point here. Hey Scott, good morning, 211 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:31,440 Speaker 2: Good morning Scott. So the question you have is, you know, 212 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:34,160 Speaker 2: is he leading by example? Is he is he in it? 213 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 1: Wather? 214 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:38,080 Speaker 15: Yeah, I mean there's a couple of questions. So is 215 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,720 Speaker 15: he is he eating the right stuff around her and 216 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:42,680 Speaker 15: with her? Is he supporting her in that sense? Because 217 00:09:42,679 --> 00:09:45,319 Speaker 15: if he's not, she's not going to either. So I 218 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:47,679 Speaker 15: mean he has a lot to do with that however, 219 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:52,520 Speaker 15: I mean, it really comes down to you know, not 220 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,320 Speaker 15: just that, but it's also you know, first of all, 221 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:58,080 Speaker 15: it sounds like she needs some therapy in that sense. 222 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:03,160 Speaker 15: And yeah, I mean I feel like he sounds like 223 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:06,360 Speaker 15: it's his responsibility as well, which we can only do 224 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,480 Speaker 15: so much for our significant others. I mean, it really 225 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,559 Speaker 15: it comes down to her and if he does that, 226 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:13,079 Speaker 15: believe her, he should not feel as bad as it 227 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:14,400 Speaker 15: sounds like he does about it. 228 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:16,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, if he does everything he can, and 229 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,200 Speaker 2: it doesn't sound like he's done everything he can yet, 230 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 2: but it sounds like he wants to and he's looking 231 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 2: for the ideas. So Scott, thank you man. Have a 232 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:27,160 Speaker 2: good day. Uh, Natalia, good morning, Natalia, how. 233 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:29,120 Speaker 4: Are you good? 234 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:31,040 Speaker 1: Hey, so you've been in this situation. 235 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:36,440 Speaker 10: Yeah, so I've actually been the one that was pretty 236 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:39,560 Speaker 10: overweight and kind of lost like that turn in my life. 237 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:44,559 Speaker 10: And my husband for years was like thebe we need 238 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,839 Speaker 10: to get it together, like and he tried. 239 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:47,559 Speaker 3: He tried all the. 240 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,720 Speaker 10: Right things, saying all the right things, let's go to 241 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,760 Speaker 10: the gym together. He was really big in the kickboxing. 242 00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:55,400 Speaker 4: And it took me, it was on me. 243 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 10: To say, you know what, it's time to turn my life. 244 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:02,440 Speaker 10: He could say all the right things, it comes down 245 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:05,320 Speaker 10: to what when I was ready. There was a point 246 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:06,840 Speaker 10: in my life where I was like I'm done, Like 247 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,720 Speaker 10: I have a family, I need to get healthy, and 248 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:15,199 Speaker 10: the encouragement and the support is what is the best thing. 249 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:18,440 Speaker 10: So it's hard on him because now looking back, I 250 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,760 Speaker 10: understand how hard it was to my husband. But he 251 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:22,880 Speaker 10: just has to keep biting and keep pushing and just 252 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:23,840 Speaker 10: keeping positive. 253 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:25,480 Speaker 14: And there's gonna be one day. 254 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:28,080 Speaker 10: Where she's like I'm done, like I have to change 255 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:31,160 Speaker 10: my life. Yeah, and it'll happen, but he just has 256 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:34,120 Speaker 10: to be supportive and just keep pushing through. 257 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:34,880 Speaker 15: It's so hard. 258 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:37,280 Speaker 10: Like now, looking back, I feel so bad for my husband. 259 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:40,160 Speaker 14: He tried and tried and tried, but at. 260 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,680 Speaker 10: The end of the day, like it really doesn't matter 261 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:45,920 Speaker 10: until she gets that mentality of like, okay, it's. 262 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:46,760 Speaker 14: Time to change. 263 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:47,720 Speaker 1: Yeah it. 264 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:49,520 Speaker 14: Me. 265 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,840 Speaker 10: My son was five and he got to the point 266 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:57,240 Speaker 10: where he was able to vocalize like Mommy, your tummy's big, 267 00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:00,840 Speaker 10: or like it was those things that finally made me realize, 268 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:03,560 Speaker 10: like this is not healthy, Like this is not the 269 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,880 Speaker 10: life I want. If my son notices it, other people 270 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:08,599 Speaker 10: in the world are going to notice and that that 271 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:09,920 Speaker 10: did it makes me feel good. 272 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,679 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, Natalia, thank you for calling, thanks for sharing. 273 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:13,439 Speaker 2: I appreciate you. 274 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:15,439 Speaker 3: Yep, thank you. 275 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:17,160 Speaker 2: The other thing is, in a situation like this, you 276 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:20,760 Speaker 2: got to I mean, I understand she's going with the problem, 277 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,840 Speaker 2: but he has to feel like, what am I not 278 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,960 Speaker 2: worth it? I'm not worth you trying. Our kids aren't 279 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,400 Speaker 2: worth you trying. Our family's not worth you trying. 280 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:29,560 Speaker 15: What. 281 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,040 Speaker 16: No, it's okay to feel like that, but it's really 282 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,200 Speaker 16: not about him. It's all about her, and he just 283 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,320 Speaker 16: has to, like you said, be supportive in that. But 284 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,560 Speaker 16: I wouldn't internalize like what am I not worth it? 285 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:42,319 Speaker 16: Because it's not that easy. It's really not that easy 286 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:44,520 Speaker 16: for her or anybody dealing with addiction. Like I grew 287 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,760 Speaker 16: up in a house full of addiction, and I would 288 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:49,240 Speaker 16: be like, you don't love us enough to stop doing 289 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,120 Speaker 16: what you're doing. But it's not about me. It's not 290 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:53,880 Speaker 16: about you as the person. It's about the person with 291 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:57,000 Speaker 16: the addiction. That's their own personal battle and all you 292 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,280 Speaker 16: can really do is support them through their journey and 293 00:12:59,320 --> 00:12:59,960 Speaker 16: hope that they change. 294 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:00,800 Speaker 1: I think you're right. 295 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:03,400 Speaker 2: I just I don't think it's unnatural or unreasonable to 296 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:06,559 Speaker 2: have those feelings and to start to develop a resentment. 297 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:08,800 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, for sure, you know, and I know that 298 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:09,240 Speaker 1: you have. 299 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:12,440 Speaker 2: To sort of check that because of the points that 300 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 2: you've made, because it's bigger than that. But that being said, 301 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,120 Speaker 2: that's why maybe a professional is necessary here because it's 302 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,959 Speaker 2: just going to get worse and he's probably going to 303 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,280 Speaker 2: become more resentful and she's probably going to become more resistant. 304 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,880 Speaker 13: Yeah, and this situation is more severe because there was 305 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:28,560 Speaker 13: a life saving surgery. 306 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,440 Speaker 7: I mean, it's not just necessarily like these. 307 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:31,200 Speaker 1: Are doctors orders. 308 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,480 Speaker 13: If you had something else going on and a doctor 309 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:36,880 Speaker 13: said here's your prescription medication and your spouse wasn't taking it, 310 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:40,400 Speaker 13: you know, this I think elevates the situation that she 311 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:41,320 Speaker 13: almost lost her life. 312 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:42,839 Speaker 2: And I can relate to this story, by the way, 313 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,600 Speaker 2: because I've had someone in my life. You have a 314 00:13:45,679 --> 00:13:48,440 Speaker 2: really really really close call and you think, okay, and 315 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:51,079 Speaker 2: this person was scared, you know, and you say, Okay, 316 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:52,560 Speaker 2: this is going to open their eyes. They're going to 317 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:55,160 Speaker 2: change everything, Yeah, because they don't want to do this again. 318 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:58,719 Speaker 2: And then when they don't, then it a lot I 319 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,400 Speaker 2: understand it's bigger than me, and it's bigger than you know, 320 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:03,240 Speaker 2: family or friends. But at the same time, you're like, 321 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 2: what is it going to take then. 322 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,600 Speaker 8: Especially if something happens and he has to live with that, 323 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:10,400 Speaker 8: Like he's got to be like I could have done more. 324 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,480 Speaker 7: You know what I'm saying, Like, even though you did everything, 325 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:13,160 Speaker 7: you gotta try. 326 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:15,160 Speaker 1: Yeahah, you gotta try to live. 327 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:16,959 Speaker 7: With that that doubt, like I could have done more, 328 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:17,960 Speaker 7: I should have done more. 329 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,280 Speaker 1: But he's done a lot. He's doing what he can. 330 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,760 Speaker 16: And sometimes people just have to hear rock bottom before 331 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,080 Speaker 16: they wake up. 332 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:27,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true. Hey Albert, you say go good morning, Albert. 333 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, I say go good morning, listening to you guys 334 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:33,480 Speaker 4: on my way home from work, so thank you, But 335 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:39,800 Speaker 4: I say, definitely go. I was kind of in that situation, 336 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:44,160 Speaker 4: but I was alone with the issue, and my ex 337 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:47,760 Speaker 4: wife at that time gave me that proposition. I need 338 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:51,160 Speaker 4: to get the help that I need to or she's 339 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:53,720 Speaker 4: set up with it. It's not good for the kids 340 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:59,000 Speaker 4: to be around me and see me basically destroying myself. 341 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:02,600 Speaker 4: And as parents, our kids always come first. They should. 342 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,000 Speaker 4: As soon as you become a parent, your kid is 343 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:08,400 Speaker 4: your number one priority, and you should do everything in 344 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,760 Speaker 4: your power to be there for your kids as long 345 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:14,920 Speaker 4: as possible. So there might be another underlying issue with 346 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:17,960 Speaker 4: this woman where she does need some kind of counseling, 347 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:24,840 Speaker 4: but unfortunately, until she hits rock bottom herself, she's just 348 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,480 Speaker 4: going to bring him and the family down and it's 349 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:30,440 Speaker 4: going to be an ugly situation, and he should think 350 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:35,000 Speaker 4: about his kids and not put him in that position 351 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:37,760 Speaker 4: and just do what's best for him and the kids 352 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:40,960 Speaker 4: and let her hit rock bottom and get the help 353 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:41,360 Speaker 4: she needs. 354 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,320 Speaker 2: At that point, I hear you, Albert, but I also 355 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:44,800 Speaker 2: I don't think he's done everything yet. 356 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:45,800 Speaker 1: I think there's more to do. 357 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,520 Speaker 2: I think that's part of the reason he called here 358 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:50,880 Speaker 2: because he didn't know what to do next. And a 359 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:52,560 Speaker 2: lot of people are calling in who have been part 360 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:53,800 Speaker 2: of this. So I don't know that it's I don't 361 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,800 Speaker 2: know that he's done everything he can do yet to 362 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,000 Speaker 2: just walk away and be like, forget about it, because 363 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,640 Speaker 2: I don't know that that. I don't know that him 364 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,920 Speaker 2: walking the way he changes anything. I think there's another 365 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,160 Speaker 2: level of intervention that needs to take place here. It's 366 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:05,120 Speaker 2: more serious than that. 367 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,640 Speaker 4: I agree with you at that point, A little bit, 368 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:15,360 Speaker 4: but his focus should be the kids. Yeah, that's you 369 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,240 Speaker 4: really want his kids to see all of that going on. 370 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,600 Speaker 8: But even if you have kids, yes, you're they're your 371 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,440 Speaker 8: number one priority. If you love someone, if you if 372 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:25,480 Speaker 8: you love that person so much, you're never going to 373 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:28,320 Speaker 8: give up on that person, like you you married into 374 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:29,160 Speaker 8: that vow and. 375 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:30,920 Speaker 7: You would die for that person. 376 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:33,800 Speaker 8: And I just feel like you're just giving up if 377 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 8: you just say, all right, I'm just gonna think about 378 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:36,600 Speaker 8: the kids and forget about you. 379 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:39,400 Speaker 1: That's just Yeah, that's a tough situation to be in. 380 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:41,600 Speaker 1: I'm not sure if we're there yet, but I don't know. 381 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:44,040 Speaker 2: Thank you, Albert, Albert's been there, so I appreciate you, Albert, 382 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:44,760 Speaker 2: thank you for calling. 383 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,000 Speaker 1: Uh Hey Stacy, Hi Stacy. 384 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:48,720 Speaker 4: Good morning, Good morning. 385 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,280 Speaker 1: How are you hey? Doing well? 386 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,080 Speaker 2: If you just tuned in stare go this this guy 387 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,520 Speaker 2: calls because he's concerned his wife had a very serious 388 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,440 Speaker 2: heart surgery and he was hoping that would change her 389 00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:59,480 Speaker 2: life and her lifestyle, that she you know, she got 390 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,040 Speaker 2: kind of a sex at least on life, and it 391 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:04,200 Speaker 2: hasn't and she really hasn't changed things, and he's concerned 392 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,920 Speaker 2: about it. She's hiding food and hiding, you know, things 393 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 2: she shouldn't be eating, and they have kids and a family, 394 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:10,600 Speaker 2: and he's worried about it, doesn't know what to do. 395 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:11,240 Speaker 1: What do you think. 396 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,760 Speaker 11: I think he has argue, made this decision and he 397 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:18,400 Speaker 11: wants to go, and I think that's why he called 398 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:23,320 Speaker 11: the radio. I had a Willmaker heart attack at thirty 399 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 11: eight years old to stunt placements. I had no cholesterol. 400 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:34,360 Speaker 14: Problems, I was active and eating really healthy. They think 401 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:38,840 Speaker 14: it was related to stress. But regardless of me, I 402 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,879 Speaker 14: was in a situation for twenty marriage, twenty years a guy. 403 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:44,399 Speaker 11: Who was really controlling. In college, he didn't want to 404 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:45,720 Speaker 11: eat lunch with me because I had. 405 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,880 Speaker 14: A turkey sandwich of salad and a brownie. 406 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,000 Speaker 11: And he couldn't handle watching me eat that. 407 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:53,040 Speaker 14: And so once I had a heart attack, he told 408 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:56,480 Speaker 14: everybody was because of diet an exercise, but his family 409 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,919 Speaker 14: thought he was dying an exercise and it had nothing 410 00:17:58,960 --> 00:17:59,640 Speaker 14: to do with that. 411 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:03,520 Speaker 11: So she, you know, my kids still thought it. 412 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:07,359 Speaker 14: Was giant exercise. But there's eating concerned issues and control 413 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:09,919 Speaker 14: issues in that family. So I don't know. 414 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,200 Speaker 11: I think he's much more complicated than that, I think, 415 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:12,840 Speaker 11: but I do. 416 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:15,000 Speaker 14: Think like that other lady. If he's already called the 417 00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:17,439 Speaker 14: radio station, it's not that he does not want to 418 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:17,840 Speaker 14: help her. 419 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,760 Speaker 11: He's made that division, you know. 420 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,720 Speaker 14: I think so. I think he's just so many more details. 421 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:23,840 Speaker 14: I think he should go because I agree with this 422 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:24,679 Speaker 14: other lady. 423 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:28,080 Speaker 1: All Right, Dacy, thank you, And I know it's not popular. 424 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:31,440 Speaker 1: That's you take appreciates you have a good day. 425 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:36,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, Heather, Hi, Hi guys, Hey Heather, good morning. 426 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:37,600 Speaker 1: What did you want to say, stare go? 427 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:39,879 Speaker 14: H Well, I wanted to. 428 00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:43,160 Speaker 6: Say stay, but I also wanted to say that make 429 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,719 Speaker 6: it a team effort, that you're you're in this, you're 430 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:49,320 Speaker 6: a family, You're a husband and wife's team. Work out together, 431 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,919 Speaker 6: make the giant changes together, and don't don't go in 432 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,120 Speaker 6: wake up Monday morning and say I'm going to spend 433 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,080 Speaker 6: three hours in the gym every day this week. 434 00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,000 Speaker 11: How about date week. 435 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,960 Speaker 6: One day one, let's take a ten minute walk, next day, 436 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:05,200 Speaker 6: ten minute walk, and just improve and grow from there. 437 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:06,400 Speaker 14: But don't leave. 438 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,199 Speaker 6: She needs your support. That's what families are for. Just 439 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,520 Speaker 6: make small changes and make it a team effort. 440 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:13,840 Speaker 1: Right, It doesn't all have to happen in one day. Yeah, 441 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:14,680 Speaker 1: just gradual. 442 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:18,399 Speaker 2: And I suppose you know, I have noticed, even with 443 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,240 Speaker 2: my own health, that it's sort of a slippery slope, 444 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,240 Speaker 2: like you add this step and then you see results, 445 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,080 Speaker 2: and you add the next step, and then the next step, 446 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,439 Speaker 2: and before long you're kind of on on track. And 447 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:29,960 Speaker 2: it doesn't feel completely and totally overwhelming, and it is 448 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,440 Speaker 2: something you can do together. 449 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,520 Speaker 1: So I like that. I like the outlook, Heather. 450 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,640 Speaker 6: Set yourself up for success. Don't make these huge life 451 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:39,480 Speaker 6: changes on a Monday. 452 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:41,040 Speaker 5: Morning, you know, make small, small tank. 453 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:44,280 Speaker 6: I've been I've been strength training for seven years now, 454 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,000 Speaker 6: and it's almost become like a lifestyle for me. So 455 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:49,679 Speaker 6: it's not it's not even a second bot. I wake up, 456 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:50,200 Speaker 6: I work out. 457 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:51,840 Speaker 3: I actually listen to you guys. I'm one of the 458 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:53,440 Speaker 3: thirteen you guys in the morning. 459 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,040 Speaker 1: When it work out, then. 460 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:56,240 Speaker 7: You guys, we're just sorry. 461 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:59,240 Speaker 2: Sitting right, Does that help you work out hard? 462 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,959 Speaker 1: No one, They were all just sitting around drinking puffee, 463 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:04,920 Speaker 1: talking smack. 464 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:05,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. 465 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,359 Speaker 1: Okay, well good, Well least heaven Heather will live forever. 466 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:08,000 Speaker 3: So that's good. 467 00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:08,760 Speaker 1: Thank you, Heather. 468 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:10,840 Speaker 4: A good day. 469 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,880 Speaker 2: Listening to us motivates people to be healthy. What as 470 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:18,080 Speaker 2: we do stories about all the food that we eat, 471 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:21,320 Speaker 2: and all the food that I order, and oh God,