WEBVTT - Checking In Replay: Dr. Yvette Noel-Schure 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.040 Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of 0:00:03.080 --> 0:00:20.320 iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Hey, y'all, you have no 0:00:20.440 --> 0:00:24.160 idea what people go through and what they've had to 0:00:24.239 --> 0:00:27.319 push through in order to get to the place in 0:00:27.440 --> 0:00:31.600 life where you see them now, where you see them shining. 0:00:31.800 --> 0:00:35.599 But you don't know the things that they've had to carry, 0:00:36.479 --> 0:00:40.000 the dark moments they've had to endure. But that's why 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:43.400 I'm so eager to introduce y'all to my next guest 0:00:43.479 --> 0:00:47.360 coming up right here on Checking In with Michelle Williams. 0:00:53.080 --> 0:00:58.000 Omg omg, omg. I'm not going to get too comfortable 0:00:58.080 --> 0:01:02.720 here because this is someone whom I had nicknamed Sunshine, 0:01:02.960 --> 0:01:07.240 but she's a respected industry veteran and is one of 0:01:07.319 --> 0:01:12.480 the top top creatives in the PR business for people 0:01:13.240 --> 0:01:22.200 such as Mariah Carey, Prince Destiny's Child individually and collectively, 0:01:22.880 --> 0:01:28.640 and so many more. Please welcome Powerhouse Publicists and CEO 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:31.680 of Sure Media Group, Evet Noel. 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:39.720 Sure, Thank you, thank you. Sell. That's a sweet that's 0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:40.600 a street. 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:48.200 Listen twenty two years and time you soar higher heights. 0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:52.480 But you I've called you Sunshine for years because you 0:01:52.520 --> 0:01:58.280 exude sunshine. Evenings, even amidst pressure, even amidst just having 0:01:58.280 --> 0:02:01.840 to tell somebody off, Yeah, because they disrespected one of 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:07.920 your clients. And I'm named off some amazing, amazing folks 0:02:07.960 --> 0:02:11.080 in the industry. But there's more to you just holding 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:12.320 hands walking. 0:02:11.960 --> 0:02:15.200 Down spread carpets. Yeah. Yeah. 0:02:15.320 --> 0:02:17.840 Now we're in the era of social media where everything 0:02:17.960 --> 0:02:21.080 is for the gram. Yeah, and you were doing this 0:02:21.120 --> 0:02:21.920 before the ground. 0:02:22.200 --> 0:02:28.480 Yeah, the grit before the gram is what they call it. Yeah, 0:02:28.520 --> 0:02:31.680 you know, things have changed, you know that. I was 0:02:31.720 --> 0:02:34.400 telling someone the other day that I remember being on 0:02:34.440 --> 0:02:39.480 the carpet with Destiny's Child and being in the middle 0:02:40.000 --> 0:02:43.680 and a photographer yelling at me, be mad, take your 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:46.120 hand out of the phone out, you know, because I 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:49.120 had forgotten to let you have. 0:02:49.120 --> 0:02:52.080 Have you posted that picture of something where your handle. 0:02:52.120 --> 0:02:54.160 We've seen that photo where your hand. 0:02:54.520 --> 0:02:57.360 Yes, it's always in it. It's always in it. And 0:02:57.400 --> 0:03:00.840 it's crazy because all those years later, one of my 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:06.920 favorite photos is me holding hands with Chloe and Hallie 0:03:07.200 --> 0:03:09.200 and I was on a carpet with them and I said, 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:12.040 oh my god, before the photographer yelled at me, let 0:03:12.080 --> 0:03:15.280 me let go. Because all those years later, I think 0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:19.239 what it is I have been blessed to work with 0:03:19.600 --> 0:03:24.720 artists pretty much from the inception, and so I've gotten 0:03:24.840 --> 0:03:29.360 to work with artists when they were young people, young men, 0:03:29.919 --> 0:03:34.680 mostly young women. And I can't help it that I 0:03:34.720 --> 0:03:37.640 came into the business first and foremost as a mom, 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:42.040 but also because I'm just somebody that loves people, and 0:03:42.800 --> 0:03:46.640 you know, going back to Destiny's Child, being trusted by 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:50.600 the label, of course, but being trusted by the Noles family. 0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:56.360 And at the time, the first four members were fourteen 0:03:56.400 --> 0:03:59.960 and fifteen year old when I met them, you know, 0:04:00.480 --> 0:04:06.480 and when you came in, you were like twenty years old, right, l. 0:04:06.640 --> 0:04:08.240 Yeah, ninety twenty years old. 0:04:08.360 --> 0:04:11.120 So to me, to me, that's a baby, because I'm 0:04:11.160 --> 0:04:15.120 still twenty years ahead of the members of Destiny's Child. 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:17.400 So I may not need to be mommy, but I'm 0:04:17.440 --> 0:04:18.240 gonna be Auntie. 0:04:18.320 --> 0:04:22.760 I've read out of all these things award winning publicists, 0:04:23.080 --> 0:04:25.320 at least a few times a year, we're seeing where 0:04:25.400 --> 0:04:29.600 you are being honored by someone. But let's not also 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:32.760 fail to mention that you are a mother and a wife, 0:04:33.320 --> 0:04:36.679 you are someone's sister, you are someone's aunt, and somehow 0:04:36.680 --> 0:04:40.279 you even balance all of that. But I think it's 0:04:40.320 --> 0:04:43.040 the mama bearing you. Like you said, some folks you've 0:04:43.080 --> 0:04:45.360 been dealing with since they've been fourteen and fifteen years old, 0:04:45.440 --> 0:04:48.719 so you can't help but to be protective, and mostly 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:52.880 women whom you have a woman protect in a male 0:04:53.040 --> 0:04:56.240 dominated which is shifting. As far as those stats on 0:04:56.279 --> 0:04:58.800 who are executives and who are calling the shots, there 0:04:58.800 --> 0:05:01.200 are some women there calling the shots. I mean you 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:04.440 were one of them as vice president of publicity at 0:05:04.560 --> 0:05:07.280 Sony at one time. In my correct yes, yeah, yeah, 0:05:07.279 --> 0:05:11.400 absolutely absolutely, but you had to be protective, and us 0:05:11.440 --> 0:05:13.000 as clients, we don't mind. 0:05:13.120 --> 0:05:16.200 You know. My whole thing was, there's never a time 0:05:16.240 --> 0:05:18.640 that you're going to look bad. There's never a time 0:05:18.720 --> 0:05:20.520 that you're going to look bad. I will not let 0:05:20.560 --> 0:05:23.440 the client look bad. I will refuse the situation. I 0:05:23.440 --> 0:05:25.719 will handle the situation. No one had to tell me that. 0:05:25.800 --> 0:05:28.760 I didn't read that in any sort of manual that 0:05:28.800 --> 0:05:30.960 Sony gave me, and I certainly didn't read that in 0:05:31.040 --> 0:05:34.040 journalism school or in any of my public relation classes. 0:05:34.520 --> 0:05:38.359 It's just innate. It's just who I am. And you know, 0:05:38.440 --> 0:05:40.880 like you said, I mean, I wasn't born as a 0:05:40.920 --> 0:05:44.320 sixty year old. You know, I lie Hondy. 0:05:44.760 --> 0:05:48.560 You know, I lie, honey, she just celebrated a milestone 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:53.840 birthday of turning sixty. And this is a long time 0:05:53.920 --> 0:05:57.000 in the industry. But you didn't start off as a 0:05:57.040 --> 0:05:58.760 publicist though, No. 0:05:59.080 --> 0:06:02.640 I started at as a journalist. I went to college 0:06:02.680 --> 0:06:05.080 to become a journalist. Actually I wanted to be a 0:06:05.120 --> 0:06:10.679 combination of Barbara Walters and Oprah Winfrey. So I really 0:06:10.760 --> 0:06:16.400 really was concentrating on broadcast journalism. But it's better now. 0:06:16.480 --> 0:06:19.200 But back in the day, I had really really bad 0:06:19.279 --> 0:06:24.880 asthma and just horrible upper respiratory issues, and so my 0:06:25.120 --> 0:06:29.279 nostrils were always so nasaled. It always sounded this as 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:32.919 though there was something stuck in it. Oh. So the 0:06:33.000 --> 0:06:35.960 first time I actually recorded myself to hear what it 0:06:36.000 --> 0:06:39.920 would sound like on television or radio, ooh, honey, I said, 0:06:39.880 --> 0:06:42.680 I'd better learn to do print journalism because I sounded 0:06:42.880 --> 0:06:46.000 so bad. Yeah. So I concentrated on writing, to be 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:48.600 honest with you, and not really on the voice. But 0:06:48.680 --> 0:06:51.400 that's what I studied, and I ended up going to 0:06:51.400 --> 0:06:55.880 Black Beat Magazine and staying there for quite some time. 0:06:56.200 --> 0:06:58.719 Quite some time, I think I would say, like nine years, 0:06:59.279 --> 0:07:03.479 and then over to By the way, I did it 0:07:03.480 --> 0:07:06.240 because I love it. I did it because I loved it. 0:07:06.360 --> 0:07:09.320 I loved the artist, I loved music, I loved writing. 0:07:10.520 --> 0:07:14.280 I didn't do it for the money, because, honey, if 0:07:14.320 --> 0:07:16.960 I did it for the money, somebody needed to like 0:07:17.320 --> 0:07:20.120 put the dumb scap on me. The money was so 0:07:20.320 --> 0:07:24.000 bad after college, and I knew that I was a 0:07:24.040 --> 0:07:27.240 brilliant person. I mean, I'm not should you should not 0:07:27.400 --> 0:07:30.640 be ashamed to say that you're brilliant. I knew I 0:07:30.680 --> 0:07:34.120 was well read. I knew I had discernment. And what 0:07:34.160 --> 0:07:36.080 they were paying me to be the editor of that 0:07:36.160 --> 0:07:40.960 magazine it was just a joke, but I always knew 0:07:41.040 --> 0:07:44.240 that it would be the best stepping stone. And I 0:07:44.480 --> 0:07:48.240 learned so much. I was already working with artists for 0:07:48.280 --> 0:07:50.960 a minute. Let's forget the artists. You know what, Blackbeid 0:07:51.040 --> 0:07:55.040 gave me the training for to be around publicists. I 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:58.080 had to deal with them to do my job. I 0:07:58.160 --> 0:08:00.600 had to call a publicist in order to get an 0:08:00.600 --> 0:08:04.760 interview with an artist. So I learned how publicists work. 0:08:05.320 --> 0:08:07.680 I didn't want to be one because I felt they 0:08:07.720 --> 0:08:11.440 were whoa, they get so crazy, whoa whoa wooh. You know, 0:08:12.360 --> 0:08:16.320 But then I said, maybe I could be a different one. 0:08:17.080 --> 0:08:21.320 Maybe I wouldn't be so harsh with journalists. Maybe I 0:08:21.360 --> 0:08:25.800 will give people grace. Maybe I will be respectful of 0:08:25.840 --> 0:08:29.120 their time and deadlines, and maybe I will do just 0:08:29.160 --> 0:08:32.640 a little bit more research on who that person is 0:08:32.720 --> 0:08:35.240 so I could deal with them from a human standpoint, 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:36.840 Because I think for now. 0:08:36.679 --> 0:08:38.440 You sure you want to give away the secret to 0:08:38.480 --> 0:08:39.280 some of your sauce. 0:08:39.760 --> 0:08:44.000 Oh, I do, because at some point our expiration comes 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:47.280 and you want to know that you have given a 0:08:47.320 --> 0:08:50.240 little gem after you're gone. And I'm not even talking 0:08:50.280 --> 0:08:55.160 about death. I'm talking about, yeah, absolutely doing something else, 0:08:55.320 --> 0:08:58.000 you know, wearing a bikini until I'm eighty years old 0:08:58.080 --> 0:09:00.840 on the beach in Grenada. You know. Yeah, you have 0:09:00.920 --> 0:09:03.120 to teach those secrets. You have to teach that. And 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:07.080 it doesn't matter what work you do. You have to 0:09:07.160 --> 0:09:11.720 give another human being grace. And I never wanted to 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:14.280 be the person that worked with a big artist and 0:09:14.360 --> 0:09:17.680 felt that I was better than others so treated people badly, 0:09:18.080 --> 0:09:23.400 because then I'm not really giving the client grace. Imagine 0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:27.320 I'm taking you Michelle on the carpet and somebody acts 0:09:27.320 --> 0:09:30.360 the fool. Yeah, I'm going to be firm with them, 0:09:30.720 --> 0:09:33.559 but I'm not going to take away the humanity. I'm 0:09:33.600 --> 0:09:35.760 not going to take away the humanity because what am 0:09:35.760 --> 0:09:39.360 I doing is I'm also embarrassing you, right, so I 0:09:39.400 --> 0:09:41.520 would probably give you a head up. Okay, Michelle, I 0:09:41.520 --> 0:09:43.120 got this. I'm gonna take care of this, and I'm 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:46.440 going to say, Okay, don't yell at them. I'm going 0:09:46.480 --> 0:09:48.840 to tell them to come over to you. And they're 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:51.040 going to come. They got to look right into your 0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:53.680 camera and they're going to give you time. But you 0:09:53.720 --> 0:09:57.439 can't yell at them. And please don't take the photo 0:09:57.800 --> 0:09:59.840 from the side profile that you know you're not going 0:09:59.880 --> 0:10:03.640 to You're coming to you. They're coming to you, and 0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:06.720 they're going to look right into your lens so you 0:10:06.760 --> 0:10:09.080 could get the photo you want, but you have to 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:13.560 do that with honoring the person and telling them I'm 0:10:13.679 --> 0:10:16.800 trying to make this better for you. But I've seen 0:10:16.840 --> 0:10:20.560 the opposite. I've seen publicists yell at people and oh my, 0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:24.480 I know. I'm going to be firm and I'm going 0:10:24.520 --> 0:10:27.160 to be I'm going to be protective of my clients, 0:10:27.160 --> 0:10:30.439 but I will not take away someone's humanity. 0:10:30.640 --> 0:10:34.600 Which is definitely a key to I believe your longevity 0:10:35.000 --> 0:10:42.880 and why everybody from the cameraman to host, the person, 0:10:43.280 --> 0:10:47.960 lighting and the rigging, they love when you're there. 0:10:48.960 --> 0:10:50.200 Oh that you. 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:52.679 Know that, you know that. 0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:53.520 That's so sweet. 0:10:54.200 --> 0:10:56.959 And I think a lot of people when you book 0:10:57.000 --> 0:11:00.400 clients on certain shows, they already know that client is 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:03.720 going to come respected. They it's like they get excited 0:11:03.760 --> 0:11:06.520 eve that book this client. Oh we we're good. We're good, 0:11:06.520 --> 0:11:09.680 We're good. And especially for them that's been here so long, 0:11:09.800 --> 0:11:11.920 I think they beam up when they see you there 0:11:11.920 --> 0:11:17.120 and how you're still the same but still fears amazing light. 0:11:17.800 --> 0:11:20.520 Like you said, you give people what they need. I 0:11:20.520 --> 0:11:23.200 think that's very telling of how people see you too. 0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:27.360 You know, a publicists that it's not just the client 0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:29.840 getting the love, but you deserve that too. 0:11:30.360 --> 0:11:33.360 You do well, you know, Michelle, Listen when I get 0:11:33.440 --> 0:11:38.800 up in the morning, before I'm Michelle Williams publicist, Beyonce's publicist, 0:11:38.920 --> 0:11:43.600 John Legend's publist, whoever I'm working with, whoever I am 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:50.960 Dennis and ConL Noel's daughter. I am a child of God, 0:11:51.600 --> 0:11:54.080 I am an immigrant. I have all of these other 0:11:54.160 --> 0:11:57.280 titles before I take on that title, So I have 0:11:57.360 --> 0:12:02.120 to show up first as myself respect, myself respect the 0:12:02.160 --> 0:12:05.160 people who raise me and love me. I always say, 0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:06.840 I show up to finish the work that my mother 0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:09.320 and my father couldn't finish. And my mother and my 0:12:09.400 --> 0:12:12.880 father would never walk into a room and disrespect someone, Right, 0:12:13.720 --> 0:12:18.400 So I come in first with those other titles. When 0:12:18.440 --> 0:12:21.840 I put on the hat of your publicists, I have 0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:25.240 to represent you the way you want to be represented. 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:29.040 There is no way you're going to feel good about 0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:31.640 the situation if I come in like a bull in 0:12:31.640 --> 0:12:34.920 a china shop. Yeah, no, no, no. You want somebody 0:12:34.960 --> 0:12:37.440 fears to represent you. You want somebody with knowledge, You 0:12:37.440 --> 0:12:41.080 want somebody but confident. But you want those folks to 0:12:41.120 --> 0:12:43.800 call again and not say, ooh, we love Michelle. 0:12:45.640 --> 0:12:49.640 That's true. That is so true. And I'm so glad 0:12:49.640 --> 0:12:54.240 that you went into who you're the daughter of, because 0:12:54.600 --> 0:12:57.640 people can also get so excited about what you do, 0:12:57.840 --> 0:13:01.080 who you work with, and it's like, wait a minute, 0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:04.280 you just said that you are the daughter of immigrant 0:13:04.520 --> 0:13:12.040 parents coming from Granada to New York. And when I 0:13:12.240 --> 0:13:16.040 gave you the copy of checking in, you had definitely 0:13:16.080 --> 0:13:22.600 told me. Yes, you had told me some things about 0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:25.080 your mother in the past. You know, we've gotten to 0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:27.000 know each other and have some personal moments. 0:13:27.080 --> 0:13:27.280 Y'all. 0:13:27.320 --> 0:13:31.280 I've called event on what do I do in this relationship? 0:13:31.320 --> 0:13:33.480 Because I think I talked too much and I'm gonna 0:13:33.520 --> 0:13:37.120 run this man away. We've done that, We've had those 0:13:37.240 --> 0:13:42.120 personal moments. But you told me something about your mother. 0:13:42.840 --> 0:13:45.000 Because y'all have this, I don't want this episode just 0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:47.680 to be about, Oh, they gonna spill some tea about 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:50.400 some of our clients. No, this ain't the podcast. 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:51.959 This is not the podcast. 0:13:52.000 --> 0:13:55.720 This ain't the podcast for that. But you were telling 0:13:55.760 --> 0:13:58.360 me about your mother, who was diagnosed with being bipolar, 0:13:58.440 --> 0:14:02.480 and how she was made fun of by family members. 0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:07.320 People didn't understand and they isolated her. Can you give 0:14:07.400 --> 0:14:10.880 us part of that and how that prepared you for life? 0:14:11.160 --> 0:14:14.559 Oh gosh, I mean I think I got my doctorate 0:14:14.720 --> 0:14:18.120 on being her daughter. Really, it was the lessons of 0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:20.960 life from day one. I'm going to go back to 0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:24.160 when I was probably about ten. I always get it 0:14:24.200 --> 0:14:27.200 wrong because I probably could have been about nine. But 0:14:27.360 --> 0:14:30.520 it was when my mother tried to commit suicide, and 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:33.640 you know, I didn't know what that meant. I didn't 0:14:33.640 --> 0:14:36.040 know what that is. I didn't you know all I 0:14:36.120 --> 0:14:38.840 know is they were trying to pump her stomach, and 0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:40.840 then they took her away to the hospital. She had 0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:43.720 come to visit Granada after she had been in America 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:46.680 for a while, and I think something clicked then and 0:14:46.720 --> 0:14:49.520 there that something is wrong with my mom and if 0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:52.200 she comes through this, I have to take care of her. 0:14:53.200 --> 0:14:57.160 And that's a big burden for, you know, a preteen. 0:14:57.760 --> 0:15:00.360 So I started paying attention, you know, after she left 0:15:00.400 --> 0:15:02.440 and went back to the US, I started paying attention 0:15:02.560 --> 0:15:05.200 to what actually is going on. And I would hear 0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:09.160 women talking about, you know, that crazy lady, that crazy lady, 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:11.400 that crazy lady, and I realized that it was my 0:15:11.520 --> 0:15:14.520 mom they were talking about. Now, they were women in 0:15:14.600 --> 0:15:18.520 the village who were so good to my mother, but 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:22.640 they were people who they themselves didn't understand what that was, 0:15:22.840 --> 0:15:25.320 you know, So now I could forgive them. But then 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:28.440 it was very very hard. When I came to America, 0:15:28.680 --> 0:15:33.840 I was fourteen, and my mother had gone in between 0:15:34.440 --> 0:15:36.640 you know episodes. You know, she was good one year, 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:40.920 she wasn't one year. But when I arrived, she was very, 0:15:41.040 --> 0:15:44.680 very very well, and then she got very sick, and 0:15:44.760 --> 0:15:47.320 she was sick for like two or three years. So 0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:52.000 at fourteen is when it really was that is going 0:15:52.080 --> 0:15:54.440 to be my job. And when do I talk about it? Well, 0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:59.680 I don't. I don't. So most of my high school 0:16:00.480 --> 0:16:04.120 I didn't join too many clubs or anything like that 0:16:04.160 --> 0:16:06.840 because I had a responsibility. I had to go to 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:10.160 the G Building, which was at King's County Hospital in Brooklyn, 0:16:10.360 --> 0:16:13.040 to see my mom. I did my homework there. It 0:16:13.120 --> 0:16:15.240 was as though she was in jail because it was 0:16:15.640 --> 0:16:17.920 like bars, you know, and they would let me in 0:16:18.360 --> 0:16:21.040 and I would sit, I would do homework, and then 0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:23.040 I would comb her hair or help her brush her 0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:26.080 teeth or whatever. And then when she was well, she 0:16:26.200 --> 0:16:28.520 was the most brilliant person I knew. It was like 0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:32.000 a thirty stems of poem that my mom would just recite, 0:16:32.640 --> 0:16:35.640 you know. And she knew all of the Catholic prayers 0:16:36.160 --> 0:16:39.200 like by heart. She just knew all of those, She 0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:42.400 knew every song, she knew what was happening in the news. 0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:45.800 She just had a brilliant, brilliant mind. But bi Polar 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:50.640 is a monster in that it really is up and 0:16:50.720 --> 0:16:56.280 down literally by polar. By Polar, it's like hot too, yep, 0:16:56.360 --> 0:17:00.520 pole up down, It's like extremes you know, like and 0:17:00.560 --> 0:17:02.880 it could all happen within like an hour. I could 0:17:02.880 --> 0:17:06.359 be sitting having like a real important conversation with mommy, 0:17:06.400 --> 0:17:08.280 and then the next minute she doesn't know me, or 0:17:08.320 --> 0:17:10.360 I can go visit her thinking she's having a good day, 0:17:10.359 --> 0:17:13.119 and then she start yelling and screaming like there's a 0:17:13.119 --> 0:17:15.480 stranger in her room, and it would be me, you know. 0:17:15.720 --> 0:17:18.360 So I never knew which mom I was going to get, 0:17:18.359 --> 0:17:22.600 but I was always prepared. I was always prepared, you 0:17:22.640 --> 0:17:27.760 know why, because the love never shifted. I loved my 0:17:27.840 --> 0:17:31.760 mother in the throes of a horrible episode, and I 0:17:31.800 --> 0:17:35.240 loved her when we were having a beautiful conversation, you know. 0:17:35.960 --> 0:17:38.879 And then I learned. I learned, I asked questions, I 0:17:38.960 --> 0:17:43.480 read books, I looked at what medications went with what medications, 0:17:43.560 --> 0:17:45.840 and I questioned whether or not this dosage was too 0:17:45.840 --> 0:17:49.119 strong because she was sleeping too much or something. And 0:17:49.119 --> 0:17:52.840 then my husband and I, David and I decided that 0:17:52.960 --> 0:17:54.520 we're just going to take care of her. So we 0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:56.000 took her out of Brooklyn and we brought her to 0:17:56.000 --> 0:18:00.240 live here, and as my travel started getting really, really plentiful, 0:18:00.640 --> 0:18:03.680 we found a home for her so that they could 0:18:03.720 --> 0:18:06.359 really monitor her medication. Now, the good thing about my 0:18:06.440 --> 0:18:09.159 mother's mental illness is that she got better as she 0:18:09.200 --> 0:18:12.879 got older. There were years as she got older that 0:18:13.760 --> 0:18:17.840 she was just now dealing with physical ailments of getting older, 0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:21.840 So we have to monitor her pressure. But she went 0:18:22.000 --> 0:18:28.040 years without episodes, and I really know that medication absolutely 0:18:28.119 --> 0:18:33.320 helped and therapy absolutely helped. But I can't have any 0:18:33.400 --> 0:18:38.639 of those without love. I was attention and attention. You 0:18:38.720 --> 0:18:41.159 got to be present, you got to show up. I 0:18:41.160 --> 0:18:44.439 would come off planes and go see her. If I 0:18:44.480 --> 0:18:47.000 was on the town on the road for a long time, 0:18:47.040 --> 0:18:50.119 my husband would go. My brothers and my sisters, like, 0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:54.640 you have to be present. But I learned responsibility at 0:18:54.680 --> 0:18:58.360 a very very young age. Years later, when I left 0:18:58.480 --> 0:19:00.679 high school, I was out of college and everything already, 0:19:00.760 --> 0:19:03.520 I had a full career. I was asked to come 0:19:03.520 --> 0:19:05.639 back and speak to my graduating class, and I was 0:19:05.680 --> 0:19:10.480 a keynote speaker, and I finally revealed in that keynote 0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:14.439 address why I was running from school every day. I 0:19:14.560 --> 0:19:17.359 finally told them that I didn't make a lot of 0:19:17.359 --> 0:19:21.359 friends in high school because of my responsibility to take 0:19:21.440 --> 0:19:23.840 care of my mother. That I was the first person 0:19:24.320 --> 0:19:28.000 at the corner of Flatbush Avenue and Church Avenue in Brooklyn, 0:19:28.320 --> 0:19:31.040 waiting for the number thirty five bus to let me 0:19:31.160 --> 0:19:35.040 out to go see my mom, and I will get 0:19:35.040 --> 0:19:39.720 out and walk across the clockson Avenue and go and 0:19:39.760 --> 0:19:42.919 stay there, and wouldn't leave there until probably like three 0:19:42.920 --> 0:19:45.800 point thirty seven, you know, to take care of her. 0:19:45.920 --> 0:19:50.439 And you're talking about a sixteen year old. And I 0:19:50.440 --> 0:19:54.320 took care of my mother until twenty sixteen. 0:19:55.040 --> 0:19:58.639 You were present, Yeah, had to be remember all of that, 0:19:59.200 --> 0:20:04.520 and you you were on world tours and multiple clients 0:20:04.600 --> 0:20:07.160 at a time, but still making time for your mother. 0:20:07.280 --> 0:20:09.840 But even I know that there are some listeners here 0:20:10.000 --> 0:20:13.199 who I would say that they're caregivers as well. Was 0:20:13.240 --> 0:20:18.359 there any human part of you that was like I 0:20:18.040 --> 0:20:21.040 can't do this or how do I keep going? 0:20:21.520 --> 0:20:27.280 Absolutely? What I mean, there were so many wives. 0:20:28.440 --> 0:20:28.800 Girl. 0:20:28.960 --> 0:20:32.560 I would sit down and say, lord, let's just have 0:20:32.640 --> 0:20:36.480 a conversation. First of all, why am I doing all this? 0:20:37.280 --> 0:20:41.240 Why can't I be a booster or cheerleader? Why can't 0:20:41.320 --> 0:20:45.760 I go and just hang out? Why do I have 0:20:45.800 --> 0:20:47.119 to be the responsible one? 0:20:47.840 --> 0:20:52.280 Isn't that? Why do I have to be the responsible one? 0:20:52.320 --> 0:20:56.280 Can go beyond people that are just maybe caregivers or 0:20:56.359 --> 0:20:59.120 right now you're the breadwinner, or right now you are 0:20:59.160 --> 0:21:04.080 the caregiver. Yeah, so that question lingers for millions of people. 0:21:04.600 --> 0:21:06.879 Why do I have to be the responsible one? Do 0:21:06.960 --> 0:21:08.720 I want to just go out and have a good time, 0:21:08.800 --> 0:21:12.240 have me some drinks and go to bed, But I 0:21:12.280 --> 0:21:14.680 can't because I can't be drunk and take care of you. 0:21:15.080 --> 0:21:16.320 That's right, that's right. 0:21:16.520 --> 0:21:18.080 Or I can't stay out with my boo. 0:21:18.720 --> 0:21:24.560 But think about that, Michelle, think about that. My mother's 0:21:24.680 --> 0:21:31.959 illness gave me responsibility, but it also saved me. What 0:21:32.000 --> 0:21:36.960 would I have been? I don't know. It's that question 0:21:37.080 --> 0:21:42.119 that linga's. Without the responsibility to take care of my mom, 0:21:42.240 --> 0:21:44.400 would I have been a different person? 0:21:44.920 --> 0:21:46.920 Well, this is what I'll say. I feel like when 0:21:46.920 --> 0:21:50.160 you say gave you responsibility, you were able to take 0:21:50.200 --> 0:21:56.600 care of her and some of her most fragile, vulnerable, tender, private, 0:21:57.080 --> 0:22:01.639 maybe even someone embarrassing moments, which prepares you for what 0:22:01.680 --> 0:22:05.120 you do today. You take care of people in their 0:22:05.160 --> 0:22:11.800 most tender, vulnerable, embarrassing moments that should just be left private. 0:22:11.920 --> 0:22:15.120 You are there. A matter of fact, one of your 0:22:15.160 --> 0:22:19.200 clients passed away. You had to write that press release 0:22:19.359 --> 0:22:20.439 of their passing away. 0:22:21.080 --> 0:22:23.600 The hardest thing I've ever had to do was to 0:22:23.680 --> 0:22:26.919 tell the world that Prince had passed away. First, I 0:22:26.960 --> 0:22:28.320 had to digest it first. 0:22:28.320 --> 0:22:30.720 I was just like, you know, just as a human, 0:22:30.800 --> 0:22:32.920 as a fan consumer. 0:22:32.480 --> 0:22:34.680 Yeah, and as somebody who had gotten to know him. 0:22:34.760 --> 0:22:37.840 I actually thought that it was a hoax because I 0:22:37.880 --> 0:22:40.360 was on a flight. I was in between two flights. 0:22:40.359 --> 0:22:43.840 When I landed, I noticed that I had missed I 0:22:43.880 --> 0:22:46.479 don't know how many calls could be recorded, but I 0:22:46.520 --> 0:22:49.200 had to have missed about one hundred calls. And then 0:22:49.240 --> 0:22:50.800 as I kept looking at it, I saw that my 0:22:50.880 --> 0:22:53.280 husband had called about ten times. But I was like, 0:22:53.280 --> 0:22:55.040 why is he calling? He knew I was on a flight, 0:22:55.560 --> 0:22:58.640 so I immediately thought, oh my gosh, my mom, even 0:22:58.680 --> 0:23:02.720 though she was just elderly, she wasn't really sick, right, 0:23:03.000 --> 0:23:06.760 But I thought, maybe it's my mom. But then I said, like, 0:23:07.160 --> 0:23:09.800 it would be my husband, then the New York Times, 0:23:10.040 --> 0:23:12.399 then the LA Times. Then you still say it press 0:23:12.600 --> 0:23:13.280 then DNN. 0:23:13.320 --> 0:23:16.840 I'm just like, wait a minute, wait a minute, yeah, 0:23:17.040 --> 0:23:20.560 because as you're telling this story, y'all, y'all can't see us, 0:23:20.600 --> 0:23:22.600 but my hands are in front of my eyes and 0:23:22.720 --> 0:23:25.600 she's telling the story because I'm just imagining you and 0:23:25.640 --> 0:23:29.359 your heart's fluttering, really heart seeing in la times who 0:23:29.400 --> 0:23:30.720 did something? What happened? 0:23:31.280 --> 0:23:32.879 Because that's what I was thinking. I was like, if 0:23:32.880 --> 0:23:35.360 it's not my mom. And then I quickly said, it's 0:23:35.400 --> 0:23:38.480