WEBVTT - Building Your Village 0:00:05.320 --> 0:00:09.600 Hi everybody, and welcome back to Katie's Crib. I am 0:00:09.640 --> 0:00:14.880 so excited for this episode. Um. We are talking about 0:00:15.200 --> 0:00:18.319 the village that it takes to raise your baby. And 0:00:18.360 --> 0:00:20.440 I know a lot on this podcast we have talked 0:00:20.480 --> 0:00:23.239 about your community, your family, your friends, the people who 0:00:23.239 --> 0:00:26.200 are there for you during pregnancy, after pregnancy, when you're 0:00:26.280 --> 0:00:30.240 raising this kid. Um, it's friends, it's specialists. It's maybe 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:31.880 an O, B G. I n It's maybe a doula. 0:00:31.920 --> 0:00:34.960 It's maybe electation consultant. Maybe it's a nanny or babysitter, 0:00:35.320 --> 0:00:38.920 you get it. The list is endless. But my question 0:00:39.000 --> 0:00:42.520 for you is what happens after the first few months? 0:00:43.520 --> 0:00:46.560 How can you keep this? You know, the sense of community, 0:00:46.600 --> 0:00:49.760 the sense of village going. Who do you call for support? 0:00:50.080 --> 0:00:51.800 Who are the people you go and talk with? Who 0:00:51.840 --> 0:00:53.640 are the people you laugh with? Who are the people 0:00:53.720 --> 0:00:57.680 you cry with? Um? And to talk about my village, 0:00:58.240 --> 0:01:02.319 I've invited for men of my village who are here 0:01:02.360 --> 0:01:06.880 with me today, and I'm so excited guys meet members 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:13.120 of my village. Um. We have Andela cabral Hi. Yeah, Hi, 0:01:13.920 --> 0:01:19.320 we have the wonderful Katie Davis. Hi. I'm far tell 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:23.560 everybody where you're from Katie Davis from Dublin. Yeah, then 0:01:23.600 --> 0:01:27.039 we have Laura Man hello, and then we have Amy 0:01:27.120 --> 0:01:31.399 Rosof Davis. Um, so we have four girls here. We 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:34.160 are a member of a group that on our text 0:01:34.240 --> 0:01:37.680 chain is called swim How many are there eight or 0:01:37.720 --> 0:01:40.240 nine of us? I always get confused. I know there's 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:43.880 at least there's eight, and then there's definitely eight. There's 0:01:43.920 --> 0:01:48.160 a rogue nine, remember I think my ten. Yeah, there's 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:51.120 about ten of us. Uh, there's even an eleven because 0:01:51.160 --> 0:01:53.880 Jen Jenen, who you've heard from, is offshooting, so that's 0:01:53.880 --> 0:01:57.320 maybe eleven. There's Dennicut, there's twelve. There's a lot of us. Um, 0:01:57.360 --> 0:02:00.559 I think there's twelve babies. So I think there's twelve babies. Yeah. 0:02:00.640 --> 0:02:03.760 So we've got members of Swim Club. And the reason 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:08.280 it's called swim Club is because, um, when I found 0:02:08.280 --> 0:02:12.440 out I was pregnant, these twelve women were circling my 0:02:12.520 --> 0:02:15.680 life in different spheres of my life. They were also pregnant. 0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:18.799 And it's not like we talked to each other, the 0:02:18.840 --> 0:02:20.440 twelve of us, and all decided to get pregnant the 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:22.880 same time. No, no, no, there are a lot of 0:02:22.919 --> 0:02:27.200 these women. These wonderful women who had miscarriages rounds of 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:30.880 IVF got pregnant on the first try. There are all 0:02:31.080 --> 0:02:34.320 different varying degrees and journeys and stories of how these 0:02:34.320 --> 0:02:37.120 women came to be pregnant. But for some amazing reason, 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:39.959 the twelve of them me included, got pregnant around the 0:02:40.000 --> 0:02:43.440 same time, within about a three month period. Um. And 0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:48.480 so I would have water aerobics in my pool for 0:02:48.560 --> 0:02:51.959 these uh twelve women, and so we are now called 0:02:52.000 --> 0:02:58.799 swim club. It's not, it's really not. It's very literal. Um. 0:02:58.840 --> 0:03:01.520 But what's cool about the village and swim Club is 0:03:01.560 --> 0:03:06.240 that the women, um all didn't know each other, like 0:03:06.320 --> 0:03:07.840 every woman at the table, and we're going to let 0:03:07.880 --> 0:03:10.000 them all with everyone's gonna have their turn to talk, 0:03:10.000 --> 0:03:12.799 but just quickly. Like Angelie Cabral and I, we are 0:03:12.880 --> 0:03:16.200 actors and we had been circling each other in auditions 0:03:16.200 --> 0:03:20.280 for years. Katie Davis, her husband and my husband went 0:03:20.320 --> 0:03:24.440 to University of Maryland together. Laura Man worked on a 0:03:24.639 --> 0:03:26.880 theater company show you Guys, No Shout Out. I Am 0:03:26.880 --> 0:03:29.560 a Theater Company. Uh. She is a member of I 0:03:29.600 --> 0:03:31.800 Am a Theater Company and Amy Rosa and I go 0:03:31.919 --> 0:03:34.200 way way back and have been best seed since we 0:03:34.200 --> 0:03:38.360 were seventeen. So it's and then the other members are 0:03:38.400 --> 0:03:41.920 friends of friends and Cabral brought in Hannah Simone who 0:03:42.000 --> 0:03:43.560 just showed up at my house and I've never met 0:03:43.560 --> 0:03:46.680 her before and now she's part of Swim Club. Their 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:49.400 makeup artists, there's a comedy writer, there's there's like all 0:03:49.520 --> 0:03:52.800 different women, summer stay at home moms, summer full time 0:03:52.800 --> 0:03:58.240 working moms, um and it has been truly I'm not 0:03:58.280 --> 0:04:01.600 gonna cry, no, I'm already bawling. Has definitely been one 0:04:01.600 --> 0:04:04.840 of the greatest joys of my life has to to 0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:07.200 be able to be a mom and not be alone. 0:04:07.360 --> 0:04:09.960 And so we are thought it would be very important 0:04:09.960 --> 0:04:12.200 and cool to have an episode talking about how you 0:04:12.240 --> 0:04:15.640 could maybe build one for yourself and why this might 0:04:15.680 --> 0:04:18.320 be a value for you in your journey of being 0:04:18.320 --> 0:04:20.800 a mom, and why it might be cool to find 0:04:20.880 --> 0:04:23.240 your own text chain of moms, why that might be 0:04:23.320 --> 0:04:26.000 helpful to you, and if you don't have that, how 0:04:26.120 --> 0:04:28.480 you can get something like it, and how that might 0:04:28.520 --> 0:04:32.840 be something that could be cool. Um. So I'm going 0:04:32.880 --> 0:04:36.760 to throw this out to Katie Davis. When you hear 0:04:36.960 --> 0:04:40.479 the phrase, it takes a village. What do you think of? Oh, 0:04:40.520 --> 0:04:43.000 I think of women years ago and a hush and 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:45.839 like your aunt and your second calls and twice removed, 0:04:45.920 --> 0:04:48.640 and the cat and everybody just in there helping you 0:04:48.680 --> 0:04:51.560 and making your food and boobs coming out and just 0:04:51.880 --> 0:04:54.400 it all being really natural. And I think the same thing. Yeah, 0:04:54.520 --> 0:04:58.520 that's likely. I just think, yeah, yeah, when when the 0:04:58.680 --> 0:05:01.120 women came together, you feel like our village is far 0:05:01.160 --> 0:05:07.160 off from that and there's no cat, but no, it's 0:05:07.200 --> 0:05:10.440 something yet that I feel is missing, especially being a 0:05:10.440 --> 0:05:12.520 foreign person in a new country. So family, there's just 0:05:12.600 --> 0:05:16.440 no knowledge of actual blood family. But yeah, that's what 0:05:16.520 --> 0:05:20.600 I think of, just and and there being no nothing 0:05:20.800 --> 0:05:25.400 to be afraid of or or no hiding or shame. 0:05:25.440 --> 0:05:27.520 It's just we're all here and we're all in it together, 0:05:27.600 --> 0:05:29.920 and like if you're going through with someone else has 0:05:29.960 --> 0:05:33.320 gone through, right. I have to say I felt very 0:05:33.640 --> 0:05:35.560 we know, and I've talked about on this podcast before 0:05:35.600 --> 0:05:37.719 how much of a phobia labor was for me. And 0:05:37.760 --> 0:05:39.479 I have to say, I think in the lineup of 0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:42.880 the twelve babies, I think my son is like second 0:05:42.880 --> 0:05:45.560 to last or something. And I went into that labor 0:05:46.000 --> 0:05:48.160 and getting this kid out, knowing that you guys had 0:05:48.200 --> 0:05:50.000 all done it before me and that I was going 0:05:50.040 --> 0:05:53.200 to live and that was a huge source of To 0:05:53.240 --> 0:05:56.960 see it in real time was very um I'm like 0:05:57.000 --> 0:06:01.599 so emotional, but it was very um reassuring, wasn't it? 0:06:02.279 --> 0:06:04.120 Which one of us kind of we could be going 0:06:04.160 --> 0:06:06.159 back to the swim club. We had those like maybe 0:06:06.200 --> 0:06:08.080 you'll speak on this, I don't know, but like how 0:06:08.200 --> 0:06:09.719 every week we would lose one of us to go 0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:11.880 up the baby, like there was one every week, Like 0:06:11.920 --> 0:06:14.799 there was less and less women pregnant in the swim club, 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:17.440 and it was so kind of reassuring to know that 0:06:17.480 --> 0:06:20.200 we everyone had a different birst story. Everything was different, 0:06:20.240 --> 0:06:22.680 nothing was the same. A lot of plans did not 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:25.160 go as planned, and everyone was fine and the babies 0:06:25.200 --> 0:06:30.080 were even even when we had a scare. Oh yeah right, 0:06:30.200 --> 0:06:33.320 And we learned by watching and by observing that. So 0:06:33.560 --> 0:06:35.680 it made us all feel I think, very confident going 0:06:35.720 --> 0:06:41.520 into birth. Has the idea of community changed from before 0:06:41.600 --> 0:06:45.200 and after pregnancy and now that you have adelaide, Yeah, 0:06:45.240 --> 0:06:48.280 for sure. I would say that, Um, I didn't have 0:06:48.320 --> 0:06:51.600 any pregnant friends before I met this crew, So for me, 0:06:51.640 --> 0:06:54.359 I was like, I'm going to be alone being pregnant, 0:06:54.440 --> 0:06:57.080 and then, thank God, by a miracle, we got I 0:06:57.080 --> 0:06:59.279 don't know how, I don't even remember now, but well, 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:00.880 you tell me you were pregnant, and I knew I 0:07:00.960 --> 0:07:02.719 was pregnant, but I wasn't telling anybody, and I was like, 0:07:02.760 --> 0:07:05.680 holy crap, I'm like a week month, right, and you 0:07:05.720 --> 0:07:07.240 just told me you're twelve weeks pregnant and in a 0:07:07.240 --> 0:07:10.920 week and we had sort of known each other but 0:07:10.960 --> 0:07:12.560 not and I remember that and I knew you were 0:07:12.720 --> 0:07:14.200 but I couldn't tell you, and you were like and 0:07:14.240 --> 0:07:17.320 I was like, I was pregnant, and I knew you 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:19.440 were pregnant by the way you were acting, And you 0:07:19.560 --> 0:07:22.320 knew I was pregnant. Well, yeah, because we drink guys, 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:27.120 You're always a tell tale. But nobody was telling Kennan. 0:07:27.160 --> 0:07:28.720 I had to do a scene on that I am 0:07:28.760 --> 0:07:31.120 a twenty three It's twenty three hour play festival, and 0:07:31.240 --> 0:07:33.320 I was showing pregnant and she was pregnant for not 0:07:33.360 --> 0:07:35.320 telling anyone. And in the scene, obviously we had a 0:07:35.360 --> 0:07:37.120 comment on me being pregnant, but the whole time I 0:07:37.120 --> 0:07:40.320 was like, she's pregnant, right. I feel like our husbands 0:07:40.320 --> 0:07:43.960 had told each other they did pregnant before. I think 0:07:43.960 --> 0:07:47.840 that's always something whenever I found out that people are pregnant. Now, 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:50.560 I always say, oh, just hold on. If you don't 0:07:50.720 --> 0:07:53.320 you don't know yet who you're walking this fire with, 0:07:53.480 --> 0:07:55.840 Like you don't know that someone's going to come out 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:57.560 of the woodwork. Who's a friend of a friend of 0:07:57.560 --> 0:08:00.560 a friend who might be a month behind you or 0:08:00.680 --> 0:08:03.400 two months behind you, And if you just like stretch 0:08:03.440 --> 0:08:07.800 out an arm, you could really go through this thing together. Um. 0:08:07.840 --> 0:08:10.120 But like when you said community, I just think that 0:08:10.200 --> 0:08:13.640 now my sense of community is very different because now 0:08:13.720 --> 0:08:15.920 it's only that, like it's this is the only community 0:08:15.960 --> 0:08:17.360 I care about. It's like where is my kid going 0:08:17.440 --> 0:08:19.760 to be? Who's going to be around my kid? And 0:08:19.760 --> 0:08:23.720 and who knows what I'm going through? And and that's 0:08:23.720 --> 0:08:29.480 what I think. I didn't have that before. I didn't before. Uh. 0:08:30.800 --> 0:08:33.680 I want to talk about this text chain because I 0:08:33.679 --> 0:08:38.880 think that that is something that's super accessible to other women. 0:08:39.200 --> 0:08:41.240 Like I feel like if you're in a Mommy and me, 0:08:42.120 --> 0:08:44.559 or if you're in some sort of class, let's say, 0:08:44.640 --> 0:08:47.760 and you could easily volunteer, Like why don't we all 0:08:47.800 --> 0:08:50.640 get on a text chain or something, or maybe if 0:08:50.679 --> 0:08:53.480 you're not able to take classes and you feel isolated. 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:56.920 Like I'm just trying to really figure out how women 0:08:57.000 --> 0:08:59.600 everywhere could get this, because I feel like when we 0:08:59.640 --> 0:09:02.520 can talk more about the benefits of having a mom crew, 0:09:03.200 --> 0:09:06.560 but there are true, true benefits to having a mom crew. 0:09:06.640 --> 0:09:10.000 But um, like let's give examples of like how like 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:12.640 a day on the life of the swim club text 0:09:12.720 --> 0:09:15.360 Chaine goes. Usually it's about something that one of us 0:09:15.400 --> 0:09:19.400 discovered or has a question about, and then it's a 0:09:19.480 --> 0:09:22.480 riff on that, like you Amy Davis gave us a 0:09:22.520 --> 0:09:25.920 great breakdown about food that's a big topic for us, 0:09:26.080 --> 0:09:30.880 which and look, every kid and parent and is different 0:09:31.000 --> 0:09:32.960 depending on what your doctor said or you want to 0:09:32.960 --> 0:09:34.880 feed them, or if you have dietary stuff. But I 0:09:35.040 --> 0:09:38.520 my child happens to be the oldest or second oldest 0:09:38.559 --> 0:09:40.319 in the group. So I just went through it first 0:09:40.360 --> 0:09:41.559 of I said, this is what I did and work 0:09:41.640 --> 0:09:43.400 for me, and if it works for you, great, and 0:09:43.400 --> 0:09:46.640 then you know. But yeah, it's a lot of love questions, 0:09:46.679 --> 0:09:52.959 like a lot of Amazon send links, Katie Davis send links, 0:09:53.000 --> 0:09:54.720 like people will post like this is a toy that 0:09:54.760 --> 0:09:57.520 my kid is obsessed with right now that's literally on sale, 0:09:57.840 --> 0:10:00.559 or they'll be like Carter's, you guys, it's having a 0:10:02.400 --> 0:10:05.719 pair of fifteen socks is two dollars, and all of 0:10:05.760 --> 0:10:07.880 a sudden, we're all doing that. But it were like 0:10:07.880 --> 0:10:10.839 stuff that seems insurmountable. Remember when when we all thought 0:10:10.880 --> 0:10:13.520 getting a passport was going to be like going to 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:16.199 you've got to go to Van Eye's, We've got to 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:20.920 strap on a bulletproof, a joke of wine. And then 0:10:20.960 --> 0:10:23.480 I discovered from somebody outside of our group, oh, you 0:10:23.480 --> 0:10:26.280 can just make an appointment. You can drive up, and 0:10:26.320 --> 0:10:28.360 like it's now all twelve of us have made appointments 0:10:28.360 --> 0:10:31.240 in Burbank and we got our passports in ten minutes, right, yeah, yeah, 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:34.719 yeah yeah. So like stuff like that, you go, oh great, right, 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:37.880 because there's there, We're doing everything for the first time, 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:40.920 and it all seems overwhelming until you've done at once. 0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:43.880 And you don't want to Google. I would say that, like, 0:10:44.120 --> 0:10:46.520 just in general, stay away from Google. It's just too 0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:50.360 confusing and I'm often scary. Yeah yeah, I feel the 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:52.000 same way I before. I don't like to be a 0:10:52.040 --> 0:10:54.520 big Google searcher, and now I go to swim club 0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:58.079 text this morning, I was you know, I was very 0:10:58.120 --> 0:11:01.840 curious about which moms had started cereals for their kids, right, 0:11:01.880 --> 0:11:04.040 because again, i'll be just started eating solid foods two 0:11:04.040 --> 0:11:06.480 weeks ago, and he's done some fruits and vegetables. So 0:11:06.600 --> 0:11:09.440 I replied to the swim club saying, who's done oatmeal? 0:11:09.679 --> 0:11:12.080 Text me individually, let me know if you have or 0:11:12.120 --> 0:11:14.600 haven't done it, what are your thoughts on it? And 0:11:14.640 --> 0:11:17.280 then then I usually take the consensus of the group. 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:18.679 I think on it for a couple of days, and 0:11:18.679 --> 0:11:21.559 then I come to my own decision, which is gratefully 0:11:21.600 --> 0:11:25.920 because you're all amazing supported by my group. That's what 0:11:26.040 --> 0:11:28.720 can I say. Support is That's the other thing. It's 0:11:28.760 --> 0:11:31.160 not just baby questions. But even last week this came 0:11:31.240 --> 0:11:34.000 up because a lot of us are working moms, and 0:11:34.040 --> 0:11:37.120 even ones that aren't. You know, it's just challenging and hard. 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:40.199 It's being a mom and and having your life change 0:11:40.240 --> 0:11:43.240 with this amazing new creature and having each other for 0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:46.199 support on that. Even if one day someone's like, guys, 0:11:46.240 --> 0:11:47.760 I feel so sad. I haven't seen my kids today. 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:49.920 I've been working for twelve hours. There's all these women 0:11:49.960 --> 0:11:56.280 that are like, who sent that text a mom, and 0:11:56.480 --> 0:11:58.840 I'm if I'm at home, I feel like I'm failing 0:11:59.120 --> 0:12:01.080 not putting an offen you into work. And when I'm 0:12:01.120 --> 0:12:02.760 at work, I feel like I'm failing because I'm not 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:05.800 putting an off energy into my child. And I don't know, 0:12:05.880 --> 0:12:11.080 I think we all just went to you. I don't 0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:12.640 know if you're talking about, but that's something that we 0:12:12.800 --> 0:12:16.640 all definitely we were always feeling like guilty about something 0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:20.920 and then you're like, I don't think that ever ends, 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:22.720 Like I think you're just like a mom, So you're 0:12:22.760 --> 0:12:25.160 just always guilty about something now. And that also ties 0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:28.120 into community and village because it's like it's not just 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:30.480 our kids, like this is a group of women that's 0:12:30.520 --> 0:12:34.080 like you're alive every day and you're keeping people alive 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:37.559 and you're awesome. I remember those first like the first month, 0:12:37.679 --> 0:12:39.839 when we were all up in the middle of the 0:12:39.960 --> 0:12:42.199 night and just being so grateful for the support. None 0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:43.520 of us knew what we were doing yet because it 0:12:43.559 --> 0:12:45.440 was so early on, and I remember Angelie and I 0:12:45.440 --> 0:12:47.800 would text each other and be like, who's up. It's 0:12:47.840 --> 0:12:49.720 when It's when I am, And then we would go 0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:51.760 to bed after feeding our babies and then at four 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:54.480 am we'd all be like, hey, who's up and just 0:12:54.640 --> 0:12:57.200 kind of having that you know, yeah, my I remember 0:12:57.400 --> 0:13:01.920 you were alone the first fever albe had. I called 0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:06.960 Amy Rose of Davis and Laura Man first, because the 0:13:07.000 --> 0:13:11.040 other thing that's really cool about having a mom group, um, 0:13:11.080 --> 0:13:14.080 and we'll get into what's what can be challenging about 0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:16.440 a mom group is that everyone's going to raise their 0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:19.559 baby differently. There are some people that are into sliem trading, 0:13:19.559 --> 0:13:21.440 there are some people who are into on demand. There 0:13:21.480 --> 0:13:26.720 are some moms who are very fluid with attachment or 0:13:27.200 --> 0:13:29.880 you know what I like to say, really hippie moms, 0:13:29.880 --> 0:13:31.160 which I love. And then there are moms who are 0:13:31.240 --> 0:13:34.560 super regimented and really tough love like, and we have 0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:40.000 them all in this too, v degrees of smothering styles, um, 0:13:41.240 --> 0:13:44.800 which is wonderful. Because my kid had a fever. And 0:13:44.840 --> 0:13:47.080 I called Laura Man because Laura Man, I know, has 0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:49.640 read a million books about giving your baby titlan all, 0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:51.960 and I wanted to know. I wanted to do the 0:13:51.960 --> 0:13:54.880 cliff notes version of that. I didn't know why or 0:13:54.920 --> 0:13:56.640 why it would be bad or whatever. And I took 0:13:56.679 --> 0:13:59.360 all of Laura Man's information and then I called my 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:01.439 friend Amy Rose so Davis, who has the oldest kid 0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:02.920 in the group, and I know she's given her talent, 0:14:02.960 --> 0:14:05.160 and I wanted to know how Ellie reacted to how 0:14:05.360 --> 0:14:08.120 did the fever go down? And then I called my pediatrician. 0:14:08.320 --> 0:14:12.679 So there's a hierarchy, Like that's yeah, there's a hierarchy, 0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:18.959 lawn everyone. But what's great is that each instead of 0:14:19.000 --> 0:14:24.880 finding what's different about us being an issue, what's different 0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:28.560 about us is actually our greatest asset. And that's because 0:14:29.280 --> 0:14:32.600 I can get a lot of different opinions that are 0:14:32.640 --> 0:14:36.280 working for them and then really assess what works for 0:14:36.320 --> 0:14:40.440 me and my family. But I love getting multiple ideas 0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:43.320 and just learning about the different subjects and topics because 0:14:43.360 --> 0:14:47.160 I really truly respect how you all are doing it, um, 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:58.320 even though they're not all the same as you. So 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:01.400 has anyone here in this group found that any there 0:15:01.440 --> 0:15:03.880 are any online communities that you guys are using, or 0:15:03.880 --> 0:15:06.920 any websites or I've definitely got an app. Yeah, I 0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:08.840 was gonna say, I like, there's an app that I love, 0:15:09.000 --> 0:15:12.600 um wonder Weeks that I find that really helpful for 0:15:12.640 --> 0:15:17.000 her developmental they call leaps. But like whenever she's like, 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:20.040 there's something I can't crack. Like if she's like usually 0:15:20.080 --> 0:15:23.040 I unders understand her behavior. It's usually a diaper, she's hungry. 0:15:23.680 --> 0:15:25.880 But if there's something that's like gnawing at her, it's 0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:27.880 a great app I find it a great resource to 0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:31.160 tell you exactly developmentally what's going on in her brain 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:36.280 which affects her behavior directly because they're growing, they're learning there, 0:15:36.320 --> 0:15:38.520 you know, expanding. And it's cool because they you can 0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:41.440 attach it to your calendar, so it'll tell you in 0:15:41.440 --> 0:15:45.760 your iPhone calendar saying Sullivan is entering leap his brain 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:51.040 just woke up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, accurate. They take it 0:15:51.080 --> 0:15:53.800 from your Jude days rather Yeah, it's when you have it, 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:55.880 but you have to take it with a grain of 0:15:55.920 --> 0:15:58.080 salt because it will say, oh, she's having a stormy period, 0:15:58.080 --> 0:16:01.400 and I'm like, she's fine, supposed to be stormy at 0:16:01.400 --> 0:16:02.640 the beginning. That's what I did, and then I was like, 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:06.200 she's supposed to be fine and stormy. Right. It's just 0:16:06.240 --> 0:16:09.280 like everything though, it should be taken just like Katie 0:16:09.320 --> 0:16:10.680 just said, not just with a grain of salt. But 0:16:10.720 --> 0:16:12.400 you have to do what's best for you. So it's 0:16:12.400 --> 0:16:14.200 like you take what you will from that app, and 0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:17.320 then you say, okay, well I'm not gonna take any 0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:19.800 other apps people are using. I mean I just use 0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:24.080 glow for breastfeeding. Ye as well, that was a good breastfeeding. 0:16:24.360 --> 0:16:26.760 Are there any are you guys in any online communities? 0:16:26.760 --> 0:16:31.080 Are there? Facebook? I've heard friends, mom this one called 0:16:31.240 --> 0:16:34.440 l A. It's called like l A. Mommy's yeah, I 0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:40.960 got some fie million mom. Or I find it overwhelming 0:16:41.800 --> 0:16:46.640 and very alarmist, which I have no tolerance for. So 0:16:46.720 --> 0:16:49.720 it's seeming like of the five of us that we 0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:54.440 are really finding the most help from the village. We're 0:16:54.480 --> 0:16:59.560 raising our baby with more of a very personal local village. 0:16:59.600 --> 0:17:03.000 Because so by the way, guys, listeners, I like our 0:17:03.080 --> 0:17:06.359 village is very locally based. We don't live far away. 0:17:06.480 --> 0:17:11.000 I mean, you had to move ten minutes away. She 0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:14.600 needed to be I think I think that people listening. 0:17:15.359 --> 0:17:18.200 I think having a community is more important than having none. 0:17:18.520 --> 0:17:20.760 Most importantly, so if you live in the middle of 0:17:20.840 --> 0:17:23.479 nowhere and there are no places for you except an 0:17:23.520 --> 0:17:27.119 online situation, get on that. But just no grain of salt. 0:17:27.200 --> 0:17:29.960 A lot of them can be alarmist sometimes, or you 0:17:30.040 --> 0:17:33.680 just have to sort of like going to the park 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:35.119 is a great thing. I mean, I was at the 0:17:35.160 --> 0:17:37.200 park the other week and we always text each other first, 0:17:37.320 --> 0:17:38.720 or like, anyone want to go to the park, but 0:17:38.760 --> 0:17:40.560 no one could go that day, and I wound up 0:17:40.640 --> 0:17:42.520 standing next to a mom who her kid was on 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:45.080 the swing to and we started chatting. I did not 0:17:45.160 --> 0:17:46.840 get her number because I was like, I already have 0:17:46.840 --> 0:17:51.280 a swim club, but if I had, but she was 0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:54.000 so nice and I was like, if I didn't have anyone, 0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:57.879 the park is a great option, and classes are great options. 0:17:57.960 --> 0:18:00.600 So this is the app. So on top of swim 0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:04.400 Club text chain, which thank you iPhone or whatever phone, 0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:06.239 you can do a group texting on any phone, right, 0:18:06.240 --> 0:18:08.240 I think? So yeah, I'm like, we just happen to 0:18:08.400 --> 0:18:12.000 have iPhone so it's easy. So it's blue, but you 0:18:12.040 --> 0:18:14.639 can do it on anything, I think. Okay. So so okay, 0:18:14.640 --> 0:18:17.879 so we're talking group text chains is really important. But 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:24.640 there's also this app called Marco Polo um that can 0:18:24.680 --> 0:18:28.280 we call Marco Polo and a sponsor what you need 0:18:28.320 --> 0:18:30.800 to say what we call us? So ours is called 0:18:30.840 --> 0:18:35.320 Marco Holo, which is who create who's snecky that? So 0:18:35.359 --> 0:18:38.800 Marco Polo was is an app where you can leave. 0:18:38.880 --> 0:18:41.840 You can have all twelve people and they leave video 0:18:41.920 --> 0:18:45.840 messages for each other. And why it's helpful is because 0:18:45.920 --> 0:18:48.960 sometimes when you have mombring and you can't look at 0:18:49.080 --> 0:18:53.080 eighty thousand texts from twelve women who are hormonal and 0:18:53.119 --> 0:18:56.760 it's great. Sometimes Amy will just send a text, Hey, 0:18:56.800 --> 0:18:59.199 I can't explain all the food stuff on text. Just 0:18:59.280 --> 0:19:01.880 check out my whole low and then actually Amy will 0:19:01.920 --> 0:19:05.040 walk us through. I did this food first, then this 0:19:05.040 --> 0:19:07.639 food first, and this first. You could even show the frigerator. 0:19:07.680 --> 0:19:10.040 You could show yourself cooking it. You could show what 0:19:10.200 --> 0:19:13.320 the brand is of the best puade peach, you like, 0:19:13.680 --> 0:19:17.720 whatever it is. But it's very helpful. Um Becky Todd 0:19:17.720 --> 0:19:22.400 has how to use an anal thermometer with and then 0:19:22.440 --> 0:19:24.720 everyone freaked out about the rectal thermometer. So then I 0:19:24.760 --> 0:19:26.720 got on the Marco poland was like, look, guys, the 0:19:26.720 --> 0:19:29.960 rectal thermometer is only the size of like my it's 0:19:30.000 --> 0:19:31.879 half of my piggy nail, Like he can't feel it. 0:19:31.880 --> 0:19:34.159 It's fine. Because everyone was freaking out about the rectal thermometer. 0:19:34.320 --> 0:19:35.919 And then I went out and bought the rectal thermometer. 0:19:35.960 --> 0:19:37.679 Did I use it, but I was scared before then, 0:19:37.720 --> 0:19:39.040 and then I was the same thing. I was like, okay, 0:19:39.040 --> 0:19:44.320 the group uses it, it doesn't And the first thing, 0:19:46.280 --> 0:19:48.320 yeah no. And the first thing you're done, pediatrician is 0:19:48.359 --> 0:19:49.840 gonna ask if your kid has a fever. They're going 0:19:49.920 --> 0:19:52.760 to say, well, did you take a rectal thermometer? It's 0:19:52.760 --> 0:19:54.800 the only one that actually matters. Is there any other 0:19:54.840 --> 0:20:00.280 examples of how market mark I did solar demage ration, 0:20:01.240 --> 0:20:04.000 breast pump ones. I remember like, oh, you helped me 0:20:04.119 --> 0:20:06.919 so much to do a hand pump hand pump. I 0:20:07.000 --> 0:20:10.040 was like, do not show this to anyone, but we 0:20:10.160 --> 0:20:13.080 just took my clothes off our Marco Polos are usually like, sorry, 0:20:13.119 --> 0:20:18.760 I slipped it in private. I've got a couple of 0:20:18.840 --> 0:20:23.200 private Marco Polos where Laura Man has showed me how 0:20:23.240 --> 0:20:27.960 to use a handpump. I very much appreciated that. Yeah, no, no, no, 0:20:28.080 --> 0:20:30.800 the Medella handpump that you actually like pump with your hand. 0:20:30.960 --> 0:20:34.359 I never I always try just in case my pump 0:20:34.400 --> 0:20:36.439 gives out or something. I don't want to be stranded, 0:20:36.480 --> 0:20:38.360 so I always travel things. I have learned that as well, 0:20:38.400 --> 0:20:41.119 you should always travel handpump in case your electricity is 0:20:41.119 --> 0:20:43.600 out or something that I also thought it was very helpful, 0:20:44.600 --> 0:20:49.160 like when there are moms in our groups, some are breastfeeding, 0:20:49.160 --> 0:20:51.880 some are not, and I think it's been very helpful 0:20:51.920 --> 0:20:54.960 to go through that journey with the mom's. The hormonal 0:20:55.080 --> 0:21:00.560 drop offs have been insane. Um, I know you guys, Yeah, 0:21:00.600 --> 0:21:01.879 go ahead of me. I'm sorry. I said that one 0:21:01.920 --> 0:21:04.240 week when I when I weaned, where I broke down 0:21:04.359 --> 0:21:07.000 crying on it. Yeah. Oh yeah, you had a huge 0:21:07.000 --> 0:21:09.920